Revenge Monkeys, A Canadian Liver Baby, & The Final Exorcism
Kathleen opens the show drinking Bailey’s Deliciously Light with a Mich Ultra chaser, showing off her light-up St. Louis Cardinals Christmas hat, and giving her review of her recent show weekend in Aspen. She loved staying at the Limelight Hotel (and fell in love with the mini-fridge in her room,) spent a ton of time in the dog park at the base of the mountain, had drinks at Hotel St. Jerome, and got the opportunity to catch up with her friend John Oates.
“GOOD BAD FOOD”: In her quest for new and delicious not-so-nutritious junk food AND in continuing her search for the best Ranch, Kathleen tries Marzetti Light Ranch Veggie Dip, which she likes but doesn’t think a dip should start off with veggies in it. She moves on to taste Kinder Surprise Joy Sweet Cream Egg chocolates, which she has always loved but thinks the toys can be complicated. She finishes her tasting menu with Tastykake Holiday Cookiesfrom Pennsylvania, which she loves because they are a simple salty butter cookie.
REVENGE MONKEYS: Kathleen is horrified to read an article out of India where a gang of monkeys are taking “revenge” on the local dog population by throwing them off of the top of tall buildings and trees, since they witnessed a dog attacking an infant monkey.
BABY DISCOVERED IN WOMAN’S LIVER: Kathleen squeals as she reads an article outlining a case of a woman who was suffering from abdominal pain and went to her doctor for treatment. The ultrasound showed an ectopic pregnancy between the woman’s liver and stomach, and Kathleen states that if she were in that position, she would have to name the baby James after “Jameson” (her favorite whiskey.)
VILLAGERS’ VOTING FRAUD: Kathleen is a fan of The Villages retirement community outside of Orlando, as outlined in her bit “The Villages.” She laughs as she reads an article about 3 residents of The Villages who were recently arrested and face charges of casting more than one vote during the 2020 election.
BIGFOOT SPOTTED IN ILLINOIS: As Termites know, Kathleen is obsessed with following Bigfoot sightings. She’s thrilled to read an article from Illinois where a man says he spotted a sasquatch-like creature outside of Springfield, IL in November 2021.
1887 TIME CAPSULE FOUND: Kathleen is excited to read an article announcing that a lead time capsule buried in 1887 was recently found in the pedestal of a statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee in Richmond, VA.
$50M SKETCH BOUGHT FOR $30: Kathleen is delighted to read of the good fortune of a man who purchased a sketch for $30 at a Massachusetts estate sale a few years ago. After careful study, multiple scholars say that the delicate ink sketch is an authentic Dürer drawing that could be worth upward of $50 million.
THE FINAL EXORCISM: Against her parents’ direction, Kathleen recalls watching “The Exorcist” in secret when she was a teenager and wondering what happened to the possessed child in the movie. She reads an article and learns Ronald Edwin Hunkeler grew up to be a NASA engineer who patented a special technology to make space shuttle panels resistant to extreme heat, helping the Apollo missions of the 1960s that put US astronauts on the moon in 1969. Hunkeler died in 2020, and the strange details surrounding his death are outlined in the article.
AMERICA’S NEW BOOMTOWNS REVEALED: Kathleen reads a recent article advising the new Top 10 “Boomtowns” in the US, according to population, economic, and housing data reviewed from the 500 largest cities in the country to determine which are ‘booming’ the most amid major pandemic migrations. 6 of the top 10 are in the Pacific Northwest, and Murfreesboro, TN (a bedroom community of Nashville) captured the top spot.