Episode 285: Celebrating Black Cats, Lizzie Borden’s Playground Rhyme & The Summer of Jimothy

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. Termites! Welcome! Stevie says welcome to Episode 285. Still nothing new on Stevie's website. Very happy about that. We could get out and do some shows before this documentary comes out. Couldn't we? We're having a problem with 80-somethings going down. Rod Stewart canceled everything. Did he really? Yep. Wow, it's a hard thing.

[00:00:44] Yeah. I mean, there was an article I didn't get time to read about what are we doing. Here, do you need a pen? No, I got a pen. Okay. Yeah. With the people, oh, she's not over 80 yet, but, you know, Lionel Richie had to sit down, Barry Manilone. He sat down? Yeah, he got dizzy and shit. He's old too. Let's see how old Lionel Richie is. Okay. What are we drinking, by the way, while she looks out loud? Bush Light Lime in honor of a southern Midwest farmer. Summertime. I totally like it.

[00:01:14] It's so good. It's delicious. But this is where Brian Dorf, my other friend, he's a Bud Light Lime guy. It's not for all year, Dorf. It's a summer beer. It's a summer beer for two in the boat. He was going to Ireland. He goes, will they have Bud Light Lime? No. Dorf. No. They don't have Bud Light Lime. No. You better cancel your trip if you're set on that.

[00:01:35] And write the whole country of Ireland a very terse little email that you're mad they don't have Bud Light Lime. I don't know how he feels about Bud Light Lime. Lionel Richie's 77. He's 77. From Tuskegee, Alabama. Oh, it's from Alabama? I don't know where I thought it was from. Nowhere. Where are the Commodores from? Another planet. That's how good they are. Oh. That's what we're drinking. A little Anheuser-Busch product of USA America, but now I think it's in-bev. Yeah, whatever. Uh-oh.

[00:02:05] It doesn't taste as fake lime as Bud Light Lime. They're both like a one-off. It's like a Corona light. No, I mean, I like it, but I don't want that to be the only beer in my refrigerator. No, but it's good in the summer. It's weird. Yeah. For you. What are we tasting? Little dinosaur barbecue sauce from Rochester, Rochester, Turbites, Bill Mites. Go Bills. Get it? They're Bill Mites. They're Bill Mites. Funny.

[00:02:32] And Jared and Danielle, they can't wait for fantasy football. Neither can I. My cousin Mike was here this weekend betting on preseason. No. He's a psycho. Crazy. Who does that? Kathleen, we got a four-way parlay going on. A preseason, Mike? Yeah, you know, not a lot. 50 bucks, you know. We'll just see what happens. Boom. Boom. He lost two in a row. Hey, I'm not going to make that parlay, I don't think I'm. No, you got to get them all. That's the secret of a parlay.

[00:03:01] I'm sorry. I'm so excited. Oh, and he's really mad because the app switched because Disney bought so-and-so, so-and-so bought so-and-so, so the app switched. Disney bought ESPN. Disney is ESPN. The mouse has spoken. Bought it at the NFL Network. And nobody's ever going to buy it from the mouse. So that's why I kept telling him, look, you only have to switch the app one time. I don't like it either. He and I are the same person. We're born on the same day.

[00:03:25] What app are you using? I don't know anymore. ESPN, I think. It used to be NFL. Yep. And now that's defunct. Oh, I love that app. I did too. It was very user-friendly, which I need. That Dinosaur Barbecue is really good. It's roasted garlic honey. It's from Syracuse. Syracuse, which is only one hour away from where? Oswego, where my friends Mary and Tommy live. Fun. Yep. I always go rent a little car and toddle on down to Oswego.

[00:03:54] I think Dinosaur Barbecue is Vic's favorite. It's whose? Vic Henley. Oh, Vic loved it? Yep. I didn't know that. It's really good. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of tangy, summery, if you will. Ritz Carlton Drizzled Minis. Ritz Carlton? Wow, you totally upgraded those. I sure did. No, they're caramel flavored. Crackers. Ritz Crackers with caramel? Yeah. Hey, don't judge. See, there's two tiny crackers. I can smell them. There's a drizzle. Yeah, they're pretty sweet.

[00:04:24] And then there's a middle part. Ugh. Be really good with coffee. Really? Mm-hmm. Okay. Just like a little sweet bomb to get you going. Nice. If you put these out on a platter, they would be gone. You would have put everything on a platter. I like to just throw food out on platters and see what people eat. Like all of your friends are seals. Yeah. Well, they don't care.

[00:04:49] I don't care. I don't care if they're door phoning anything unless it's a sweet potato, fry, or a chicken wing. I'm like, you have the palate worse than mine. How's that possible? These are very good. Okay. Those are from Termite Nathan. He's inviting me and Dax to golf with them next time. TPC Scottsdale. Oh, fancy. I might do it in there. I know Dax definitely will. Okay. I would too if I'm there. I am there. I think I'm doing two nights there. I think Kelly McFarland's gone.

[00:05:17] I think all of that's a secret till next week. Oh, well. I had to go to goddamn Staples and buy a 2028 calendar. Yes, I used an old person one. Yes. But you know what? I was validated because my brother made so much fun of me about my calendar. He's like, why is it dead all on your phone? I go, because I can't see the whole year, Patrick. And unlike you, I am booking my, I am promising that I will be places in a December I haven't lived.

[00:05:45] I haven't lived December of 2026 and I know where I'll be. Well, hopefully in 2027, we've now moved into 2028. Here's how I got validated. Downtown Nashville. What's down there? Johnny Cash Museum. One of the greatest museums ever. Guess who had the same book? Johnny Cash. Nice. Yep. And he wrote every city out and we write all our notes and who the opener is and all that shit. Fun. Yeah. Cool. Send it to the comedy thing when I'm dead.

[00:06:15] You're in good company. These are, oh, Lance, Nashville hot Lance crackers. Lance crackers. These are from Fort Lauderdale termite Michael. Nice. Interesting thing. I've only gotten one voiceover commercial in my life and it was for Lance crackers. That's cool. I got free crackers for a year. Wow. And they paid me. And they'll last you for the rest of your life. Oh, they're still in my golf bag. That was 30 years ago. Let's taste a hot one. Let's see. Before I move on to shows, now we got to call Holly Bobby because he's on a tight schedule

[00:06:45] today. I can't wait to hear where he's going today. I can't believe he left the Hulu meeting and told them he had to go to the bathroom to take my call. I'm like, Bob, it's not that important. Well, it's fun. He's like, oh, they don't mind. I brought some chicken. We were just talking about everything they're doing. Oh. Wow. Nice. Yeah. When they're not doing well on the golf course, pull one of these out of your bag. You got any golf friends you're going to give them to? No. No? Dorf won't eat them.

[00:07:15] Nicole will. Yeah. I'll give one to Nicole. How about Pinky? I say five stars. Pinky doesn't eat on the golf course. He's too intense. He can't fight his ball. Kathleen? Kathleen? That went further. Further. Further. Brand new word. In grammar, that's not. Further. Now, that ball went further than the other one, but it's the wrong way, too. Except it's a different direction, wrong way. I know. I'll just see you at the bar, dude.

[00:07:42] My ball's right up there where it should be, and I'm going to go putt it in the hole, and then I'm going to move on. He looks adorable, though. He's always very well-dressed. He's a shoe whore. I'm like, how many pairs of golf fake shoes do you own? Like a million? Upcoming shows. This weekend. Can't wait. Atlantic City. Friday and Saturday. Both sold out. But I will say this. They're dropping tickets. Sometimes casinos, I have no control over the ticket situation at all. They do crazy things sometimes towards the end.

[00:08:13] Yep. If, I don't know. If you go online right now, it says sold out. But I would say if you did want to come, check back. Yeah. Because you never know. September 11th, San Antonio. So excited. September 12th, Austin. 18th, Tarrytown. 19th, Hershey's. September 25th, Madison. Love it. 26th, Casino. Prior Lake, Minnesota. What? October 10th, the Ryman. Nashville. Get your asses down there. Holiday weekend. October 16th, Hampton Beach.

[00:08:41] October 17th, Ledyard. Well, it's Foxwoods. Everybody on the East Coast knows. Ledyard. I know. I can't. You know, people get so picky. You're not pronouncing it correctly. Wait. Listen. You know where you live. Listen. I go to 90,000 cities. I'm not going to get them all right. No. I can barely read. So, you know, what do you? I tried. I can barely read. So, this was such a fun weekend because I had my cousin Mike and his wife Connie and

[00:09:11] we went downtown. We walked by the new Dolly Parton Hotel. It's not open yet. Probably October. Okay. I haven't been yet. I can't wait to go in. It's just beautiful from the outside. It's beautiful. Yeah. The pull up with the valet area where you were. It's going to be the valet area and it's almost done. I mean, I don't know what's going on inside. You can't go inside. You can only see the outside. Okay. Five stars so far. I mean, and it's just one block, maybe two, off Broadway. So, if you're down there, you're in it to win it. Cool. It's right there. Yeah.

[00:09:40] I was very, very excited. Very sparkly from what I've seen online. Oh, there's a lot of reflections in the sun of things glittering and sparkling and it looks like Dolly. That's awesome. And it's a hotel that looks, it kind of has a hard rock feel. Oh, cool. Like with big guitars and, but you pull up and you instantly feel fun. Cool. It just feels like a party in a box, which is, I think, what she was going for most likely. Stop by Garst because Mike was starving. Well, then it's Trisha's chicken finger time. Of course. Yeah.

[00:10:11] The bar though, Garst is just, that second level's too ill-defined. Yeah. But I would say if you're a tourist coming to Nashville and you love Garth Brooks, go in, get a thing of chicken fingers. We had the chicken finger tower. I would say that's a little much. I didn't know they came in a tower. But I didn't know how hungry he was. And when he says he's eating, I gotta eat now. He's not kidding, but it lasts for hours. He won't ask you again for food for like four days.

[00:10:40] I'm like, okay, I'll just get the tower. Because the guy's like, you know, it's a much better deal if you, but that's fine. Bring the tower. That tower was quite a lot. Each finger is like a breasted chicken. I know. But they're so good. It's like a lot less spicy, but different KFC. Nice. Yes. Very Southern. And we went to Posties, saw all kinds of people from St. Louis and then just randomly. And then some lady and her friends, young people walking down the street.

[00:11:08] She's very tall, like a very, very tall person. I didn't catch her name. She just started going, Kathleen fucking Madigan. Yes. Yes. Yes. Kathleen Madigan. And I'm like, that's what I want to hear when I get up in the morning. I need you standing by my bed going, get up. You can do something. Because I believed every word she said. And I'm like, I took a picture with them and stuff. I don't know their names. They were very, oh, they're from Tampa. If you're listening, if they listen to the podcast stuff, I'm shouting you guys out.

[00:11:38] You look super fun. I should have just kept on drinking with you the rest of the day. It would have been super fun. Fun. I can't believe we saw all these people from St. Louis. We knew. Cool. Yeah. Because the one lady was, I was like, oh, I have a place at a place you won't know. It's Lake of the Ozarks. She goes, oh, no. We have our place at Lake of the Ozarks. So we went through all that. Yeah. Yep. So super fun. Great day downtown. Super hot. Then we went on the boat. It's probably 101. But once you got the boat going, it didn't feel that bad. And then we just jumped in the lake for a while. Fun.

[00:12:07] The lake's hot, too. Everything's hot. Everything's hot. I'm thinking about throwing a giant ice cube in my hot tub to make that cool. Or I could just run a cold bath. But that's not outside. No. No. Put it in your pool. Don't you think you should be able to pay somebody to bring a giant ice cube to your pool? Yeah. Why don't you bring that back? An ice man. I think people have chillers for their pools. Yeah, but. If you don't want a block of ice.

[00:12:34] Well, that pool's not big, but it would cost a lot to chill it. Yeah. You need a cover. There are steps to this. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not doing all that. Okay. It's fine. And the cats like to drink out of it. Okay. Well, yeah, you don't want it cold then, for sure. No. It's all about their pleasure. All right. Let's, um, because he has appointments. Let's, uh, normally I do. What are we watching? And all queen stuff, but let's go to Bobby first. Okay.

[00:13:06] Bobby. Boom. Holly Bobby. And we're going to have a little time, uh, segment with, um, fabulous life by Amy. I told him I was calling exactly now.

[00:13:34] Oh, happy taco Tuesday. Buenos dias, senor. I am so sorry. Lo siento. Oh, what a K. Um, uh, yeah. I may. Uh, happy. I, that means I'm sorry. I had to talk to the boss. Oh, happy. Oh, is it happy or happy? Happy. Happy. Because it's a man boss. So if I, if it was a woman, I think it would be happy. Right. I don't know. I don't know.

[00:14:02] We can, we can look that up. You're, you're teaching it this week. Yeah. You're keeping us not dumb this week. Not me, Bob. Okay. All right. Last time I spoke to you, you were leaving, you were going to, you leaving Hulu and you were going to Netflix to have meetings with them. I know. Okay. Here's the thing. Termites. I don't read the comment section, but Clark does. Oh, okay. And one of the termites, I love you. I love you, but I want to set the record straight.

[00:14:31] They said that I'm a company man and I'm supporting the shards on Hulu because I was at the company and it, they find it boring and bland and all this stuff. I work for Hulu. I was just saying I was at Hulu. Well, you're your old man. Yeah. Right? You're a booker. You're not a show producer. You're not producing shows for Hulu. No. No, no. I was just there to meet with them. So setting the record straight, I was at a meeting and I do like the shards and I do agree

[00:15:00] with the termite. It is a little, you know, bland, but I think that's what they're going for. The superficiality of it all in the 1980s lifestyle. Okay. There you go. Thank you, Bob. Okay. But I did go to Netflix. Thank you, panels. I did go to Netflix and I know you're going to be obsessed with this show, but the monster season. You know, the other Ryan Murphy show. Oh, yes. I'm completely obsessed already, but I don't know that I like that he's taking, that Ryan

[00:15:28] What's-His-Face is taking all of the seasons and then making one. I'll trust him, but I thought we were having a final season of just Coven. Yeah. So. Oh, you want to go to talk about Coven? Cause I wanted to talk about Lizzie Borden. Oh, I want to talk about Lizzie Borden. I thought you were bringing that up. I thought you were bringing up Ryan Murphy's. I know. And that girl is Annette Bening and Warren Beatty's daughter. Yes. And she's like their youngest kid. She went to Juilliard.

[00:15:57] She really has a very striking look. And like, but, but the other thing too, I was doing some research on Lizzie Borden and she sounds like she was like, kind of like, you know, um, dumpy. So. Oh. Well, there's already one on Netflix with Christina Ricci, but I don't. I haven't seen that. It's not, it's just, it's not organized and it's about after she's killed him or not, or not, or not, whatever. Yeah. She got off.

[00:16:26] I think she killed him. I, I, you know, trying to blame it on the maid is such horse shit. Yeah. I think she, you know, blame the maid, but blame the Irish immigrant. Of course. Why not? Right. Well, we should talk about who Lizzie Borden was. So the termites. Well, the younger ones may not know, but I also want to know if you know, so the Juilliard, what is her name? The actor girl who's Annette's daughter. Ella Beatty. Ella Beatty. Okay.

[00:16:56] Has she been in other stuff? Yes. She was, you'll like this because you probably watched this. I did not watch it. She was in another Ryan Murphy series, Feud, Capote versus the Swans. Oh, wait. Well, I watched that. I'm going to, I loved it. I'm going to have to go back. She was on four episodes. Yeah. Four episodes. She played Carrie O'Shea. Okay. I'm going to have to go back and rewatch that then. Yeah. Okay. So tell me about Lizzie. Because now at least I know this kid, this person, woman, young woman has already done acting things.

[00:17:26] So this isn't like a Nepo baby. Just here you go. Yeah. Yeah. And she also did that movie that Rose Byrne got nominated for an Oscar for this year. If I had legs, I'd kick you. So she was in that. So she's getting work, you know? So she's doing okay. Okay. And Warren Beatty is still alive. He's like 80. He's still alive. He's very old. And Annette's not that old. She's 20 years younger than him. Right. Yeah. Yeah, totally. And she's working. God, she's working on everything. She's just loving life.

[00:17:55] Well, do you want to be home with a cranky 86-year-old? Or would you rather toddle on over the hill to Burbank and do another show? I think you'd rather. Yeah, exactly. Yep. Yeah, I'd rather be at Warner Brothers shooting another Peacock series. Wait, wait. It's so funny because I was thinking about them yesterday, like Annette Bening and Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson.

[00:18:20] And I was like, do we still, and how the Lakers got bought, you know, by Bob Iger and the Kushner kid. Uh-huh. They don't show them that often. And also Diane Cannon doesn't go that often. It was her and him that were the superstar regulars of Laker games. And as a young comedian in L.A., none of us, none of us comedians could afford Laker games. But we could, if we pooled our money, afford Clipper games.

[00:18:50] And so we would pool our money and legitimately buy two season tickets. And that wasn't a PSL back then. You could just buy two season tickets. And then at the Company Magic Club, we would divvy them up to who wanted to go. Because I'd never even seen an NBA game from St. Louis. We didn't have a team, blah, blah, blah. But there were no stars at the Clippers games. It was always at the Lakers. I don't think. They had Big Baby, remember? And what? Big Baby. They had Big Baby. Big Baby. Yeah, he looked like a monster.

[00:19:17] You know who I used to see at the Clippers games, like on the highlights and the news and stuff? And this was like, don't forget, this is the L.A. sports arena, which has been torn down and rebuilt as a soccer stadium in L.A. But Billy Crystal and Penny Marshall used to go to Clippers games. Weird. Yes! Weird. Well, sometimes it's more fun to be on the team that doesn't get all the attention, you know, to be a fan for that. It's a little more loosey-goosey.

[00:19:46] I mean, the Lakers. You make it hip. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think Jack goes that often. I mean, since you're asking. I think occasionally there'll be a clip, and I watch SportsCenter every day, there'll be a clip, but it's rare. It's like a thing. Okay. Yeah, I think he's like 86. See how old he is, Pat. How old's Jack Nichols? It's my job today. How old are people? How old is he? Well, because the over 80 crowd's all falling down on stage, and they're all dizzy and falling over. It's getting out of hand. Lionel Richie, Rod Stewart. 89.

[00:20:17] He's 89? Really? Yeah, he'll be 90 in April. How old's Diane Cannon? Oh, my God. Who is Diane Cannon? Diane Cannon. Paddles as she is. She's an Oscar nominee. Come on. I didn't know that. What'd she get nominated for? Diane is D-Y-A. I think Bob Carole Ted knows. 89. She's 89? Mm-hmm. She'll be 90 in April. She's from Tacoma, Washington. Oh, that would explain a lot of her quirkiness. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she's quirky. Yeah, Washington. Her real name is Samil.

[00:20:47] What? Okay. Samil Diane. What's that mean? What's that mean? S-A-M-I-L-E. I can't. If I work at Starbucks, I can't spell that. Sorry. We're going to call you Sam. I'm calling you S. Wait, okay. Tell me about Lizzie Morton. Okay, wait, real quick. Let's give Diane Cannon her flowers, okay? She's been nominated for two Oscars for Bob Carole Ted Nellis. Don't even know what that is. Nope. That was with Natalie Wood. Oh, my God. I don't know. I'm not my parents, Bob.

[00:21:17] Who is Natalie Wood? All I know is I think Robert Wagner did something bad on that boat. That's why. And then she was in Heaven Can Wait with Warren Beatty. Oh, I love that. Okay. With Warren Beatty, who is Ella Beatty's dad. Baby daddy. That leads us back to Lizzie Borden. Okay. There we go. We made all the connections. What a perfect circle. There we go. Okay. Right. So, no, Lizzie Borden, you know, just the story. There's that, like, what's the saying?

[00:21:46] Like, she whacked her. She gave her mom 41. Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother 40 whacks. When she was done, she turned around and gave her father 41. Right. There you go. Something to that effect. Do you jump rope while you do that? No, you played a playground game. We played, and then we also played Ring Around the Rosie, which is about the plague. It's like double dutch. Bubonic plague. What? Yeah. Google Ring Around the Rosie. You don't even want to know what that's about. What? The deaths of 8 million people.

[00:22:16] What's the matter with America? God. Well, Catholic school, we didn't have any equipment. We didn't have shit. You just had to make up weird games. Ring Around the Rosie. Oh, my God. Ring Around the Rosie. No, wait. That's not American. We just adopted it from Europe. Oh, okay. I think it was. We didn't have a plague here. No, I think it was the Bubonic plague in Europe, starting in England. But what year was Lizzie Borden born? And what year was she? 1860. 1860.

[00:22:45] And she died in 1927. But she was acquitted on August 4th of the murders of her stepmom and her dad. Her dad came from a wealthy family. He was a jerk. Yeah. It sounds like, I mean, he sounds OCD to the, you know. Oh, like, yeah, just a house Nazi. Like, you don't want anything to do with that guy. Yeah. No, I'm not saying I should get an ax and chop his head off. Yeah, it's a little extreme.

[00:23:12] Maybe just blow to the kneecap just so you're on the couch. Shut your mouth. But she and her sister were like, it sounds like they were really abused and they could have been sexually abused. But they didn't talk about it then at the trial because it was like 1892 and you didn't talk about things like that. No, you can't. But he was really abusive to these kids and like they had money. I mean, they were wealthy. They were wealthy. Yeah. But they didn't have indoor plumbing like the other people, all the other wealthy people. He was cheap. Fall River.

[00:23:42] He was cheap. Super cheap. Super cheap. That would make me want to hit you with an ax. Let's spend the money, man. What are we doing? Got to go pee in the woods. Yeah, exactly. And they were like kind of shut ins and stuff. Guess what I don't want to do in Massachusetts in the wintertime? Go outside to pee. True that. How about we spend the money, dad? And then I hang over the couch with an ax and go, we're getting a toilet, right? Bang. Bang.

[00:24:06] And then so the stepmother, they had an Irish immigrant nanny. Yeah, they blamed it on her. What? Yeah, they blamed it on her. I didn't know that. But she didn't get, she didn't get, you know, convicted. No. It's an unsolved murder. But, you know, the stepmom got murdered first upstairs.

[00:24:27] And then when the dad and the maid, that nanny, came home, they could hear Lizzie Borden laughing hysterically upstairs on the second floor. And then she came down and murdered him. Yes. Yes. Now, here's the thing. The Christina Ricci one, I only watched one episode because I thought it was just disorganized. But I think they stayed.

[00:24:53] The sister and her stayed in that house, in that town. And like after being, okay, so you haven't been convicted, but the whole town thinks she did it. Right. It's like an OJ situation. Got it. And she stayed just to provoke people. What? Probably. Maybe she liked the attention. She did. I mean, if what I'm watching, I will probably have to go, I'm going to go on Amazon and get an actual biography. Because I don't know if what I was watching was historically accurate. But they made it seem like she was just, fuck you, I'm staying here.

[00:25:23] And the little kids were terrified. And then she turned around and go, bah! You know, and they don't run away. Actively provoking the rumor that you're a murderer. Wow. That would be fun. When does this come out on Netflix? September. September can't come soon enough. I'm so sick of nothing being on. I know. I have no sports. You're going to see the Odyssey on Monday. I know, but I'm not a moviegoer. I know. Well. Did you go, Bobby?

[00:25:53] I haven't gone, but I plan on doing it on Sunday. Oh, good. All right. I'm going Sunday, but yeah. Is there any other breaking Hollywood news we should know about that's important? Oh, I feel bad that girl died, but I didn't know who she was. I was, I know. Oh, Hayden Panettiere. I know, I know. She used to come on The Tonight Show all the time because she was on that show here. Rose on NBC. That was a big hit. I never saw it. Never heard of it. I guess it's what blew her up. Yeah. That was the crazy one. That's too bad. Yeah.

[00:26:23] It was heroes, and it was like these normal people, and they each had a superpower. No. And she was a cheerleader. I forget what her superpower was, but you couldn't. Wait, is that where all the merch came? Save a Cheerleader? Probably. Yep. I didn't understand. Any other breaking news out of there we need to know about? Sitting here and not. I hate to disappoint you, but there is no breaking news other than that. We were all sad in Hollywood because everybody liked her and was rooting for her. Isn't it? Because she had mental problems. Yeah.

[00:26:52] She was on Nashville, too. Did, um... Oh, yeah, Nashville. She was in Nashville. Is Netflix excited about the Lizzie Borden thing? Oh, yeah, totally. Oh, one more thing about that. Charlie Hunnan, who I think is totally hot, he played Ed Gein in Monsters. Oh. You know, the last Ryan one. Yep. He plays the dad. Oh, wow. In Lizzie Borden? Yeah. She plays Lizzie Borden's dad. Oh, awesome. And he's not under all those ugly prosthetics and stuff like that. He looks good. Oh, that's awesome. Okay.

[00:27:22] Yeah. All right, Bobby. Well, still hot in Nashville. What's the temperature out there in Palm Springs? It's 105 right now. It's 9 a.m. So... Oh, God. Go get in your pool with your laptop. Only the 110. Only the 110. Only the 110, yeah. All right. We will check in next week. Good reporting. All right. All right. See you soon. Bye, Pabbles. Bye, Bobby. Bye, bye, bye. He's so good. He knows everything. He does know everything. It's crazy. It's just amazing. You know the NBC show Heroes?

[00:27:52] No, Bob, I've never heard of that. I don't even know this girl that died, sadly. I mean, sadly she died. I didn't see Heroes, but I knew her from Nashville, the show. Well, she's been in everything since a child. I mean, I guess I watched Rosie's talk show. Not really, but if it was on, she's been on every talk show since she was a child. She's like a child star person. Oh, wow. I missed her whole life. It's not like I missed it when she became an adult and got on some shows that were cool or whatever. I missed the whole thing. Got it.

[00:28:20] Like one of those, like I would have never known Miley Cyrus was a child star until someone told me that. I thought she was just Billy Cyrus's daughter. Billy Ray. Or whatever. Yeah. Billy Ray's daughter. And that she was very talented, more talented than him. I got it. So. Cool. Anyway. All right. All right. We're going to move on before we call, get into anything else. Queen news. This is not good. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[00:28:51] So some years, not every year, Dolly Parton's Dollywood gets a brand new ride. Right. And let me tell you what, people, I'm not going on any of this shit, especially not at night. Night time, I know. Oh my God. I'm like, are we really doing that? It's fun at Christmas though. The whole place is fun. Yeah. Well, I don't like the no alcohol thing, but. No. Nah. Yeah. You know, drink some in the parking lot and go on it. You'd like a little glass of mulled cider. I would just like to walk around at Christmas with a little glass of wine or something. Yeah. Celebrate. What?

[00:29:21] Feel festive. Yeah. Yeah. But whatever. Okay. If you got kids though, and they're into the ride thing, her rides are next level. Yeah. Like they're futuristic. Holy shit. It's not some hillbilly podunk. We set up a carnival here. This is major money. Well, when she has a new ride. There's nothing podunk. No. She attends the opening event. Always. Well, she has a new ride.

[00:29:48] It's the night flight expedition. And she did not attend. She made a video. Saw the video. And she has butterfly wings going on her back. It's crazy cool. It's crazy cool. And she says the Nashville doctors have clipped her wings. Oh. I know. It was almost me crying. I'm like, I can't watch this. No. Clip my wings. I like it. Yeah. She's not allowed to travel right now.

[00:30:18] Jesus. Listen to this roller coaster. Not that I really give a shit. It's called the night flight expedition. Night flight expedition. First of its kind, indoor adventure roller coaster and white water hybrid ride. So it's white water and a roller coaster. Wow. This is what I'm saying. It's futuristic. Are you sure we can't go to this? That will take park guests on a five and a half minute journey to discover a secret lake that gives the wildwood tree and wildwood groves its glowing leaves. Wow. At its highest elevation.

[00:30:49] That's pretty cool. Reaching speeds of up to 30 miles an hour while traveling through the weather independent 44,000 square foot facility. The ride includes four sections of night flight, taking guests soaring over the Great Smoky Mountains, White River rafting through 500,000 gallons of surging water, climbing a mountain ridge, and navigating a mysterious shimmering lake by a boat. Wow. Cool. She announced this in 2025. And look at this. This is Dolly. Let's get shit done. It is 2026.

[00:31:19] Boom, that ride's available. Nice. Yeah. Sad queen. I don't know. I hope everything's all right. But what are we going to do? People get old. I'm getting old. Everybody's getting old. In less. How old is Dolly? Never mind. I'll Google it. It's my third age Google of the episode. 79. I'm guessing. 80. Oh, yeah. We just said the 80s. Remember?

[00:31:49] Oh, yeah. Yeah. In less sad news, if anyone cares, apparently everyone cares but me, Taylor Swift got a haircut. Yep. I also like Taylor's the first one. And this isn't political. This is bullshit. So. This is more about rights. It's about owner's rights. Yeah. Like for us, comedians, musicians, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If I say you can't play my song or my joke, you should not be able to do that if you don't have my permission.

[00:32:18] Well, Trumpy does it and throws it in people's faces and he just fucking does it. He tags her. And then he makes it. And then he tagged her. It's the children. Well, it's the children. Yeah. Yeah. Trumpy is not on TikTok tagging Taylor Swift. But Taylor shut him down and she won. Yeah. And her people got a hold of TikTok and said he can't. But she also didn't make a deal out of it. She just did it. No, she just did it. Yeah. He made a deal out of it. Right. He's the one. Oh, yeah, yeah. We have a tour on event. We have a lot of other things going on.

[00:32:47] I don't have any other queers. Everybody else is quiet. It's so quiet. The kids are going back to school. I got involved in that traffic this morning. I'm like, oh, my God. Nobody is in a rhythm yet. No. No. No. The cops are trying to direct stuff. It's a four lane road that turns into a two lane road. Blah, blah, blah. Nobody cares. Oh, it's crazy. But, yeah, it's a weird week. Yeah. Because no one's really working. I'm not getting any work emails. Fine with me. No. I never need another one as long as I live. You've got a lot going on next week, though.

[00:33:17] Next week, the on sale for January through May happens. So that's an on sale week. So that's a big deal. But this week. You're announcing all the dates January through June. June. Right. And that happens on Monday. Yes. And you are clearly going to Arizona for two days at some point. Yeah, but I didn't say when. I will say I'm pretty happy it's in the winter. And the Canadians might still be there. Yes. Yeah, I'm always trying to get my Canadians. Come on, wherever I'm at in the winter. People will be there. We have a tour on event.

[00:33:47] Oh, boy. I should have told this with Bob. Then we're going to give fabulous Amy a call. A tourist has been killed after he was struck by lightning during a hike up to Sicily's Mount Etna. The American Man, 30, was hit while hiking the volcano while a yellow weather warning was in place for severe thunderstorms in the Cotinia area. Okay.

[00:34:14] He died after walking into a restricted area to see the volcano's lava flow up close. This is how you were supposed to die, sir. I can't help those who will not help themselves. I tell you, hey, don't climb in the volcano. Right. What's the first thing you fucking do? Go climb in the volcano. It's hot. And then you got struck by lightning in the volcano. He needs to go buy a lottery ticket.

[00:34:44] He just outdid at least, I'll take five people off the roster on Yellowstone that have behaved like morons out of probably, I love a summer at the end. Maybe Labor Day, I'll do the statistics if I can find the wrap up, summer wrap up. Okay. How many tour ons did we have? How many died? How many were severely injured? And so on and so forth. A rescue helicopter from the Island's Fire Department raced to save him at around 8 p.m., but he was already dead.

[00:35:09] A volcano located east of Sicily recently ejected a huge cloud of volcanic ash and has been erupting since July. Visitors have been urged to stay at least 200 meters from the lava. Dramatic videos and images show Europe's highest and most active volcano spewing piles of ash into the city of Sicily. Hundreds of flights have been canceled and rerouted, and this guy's walking in it. Wow. That's crazy. Oh, my God.

[00:35:34] There was a massive thunderstorm, and, you know, I'm sorry, but I don't understand just the insistence of, I'm going to do it, even though we've said, this is a terrible idea. It's dumb. Terrible idea. Terrible. Terrible. As Charles Barkley would say. As Charles Barkley would say. Just terrible. I'm still stuck on Ring Around the Rosie. Did you Google? Yeah. It's crazy. It's the Bubay play, right?

[00:36:02] Yeah, I mean, I'm 50. I didn't know that. This is what we would do in a Catholic school. Play a game about the bubonic plague at recess, and then maybe a little bombardment, which is also known as dodgeball, but more violent. And then we'd go over some saints in the afternoon, like I do on this show. Exactly. Full day. Nice. Tell me why my brain is not right. You're guys' fault. You did that. Wow. Double Dutch about the plague.

[00:36:32] Ask Google if children play to the Lizzie Borden rhyme. Right now? Yeah. I know we did a game to it. Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother 40 whacks. Something like that. When she was done, she gave her father 40 whacks. Is it common for kids to learn the Lizzie Borden nursery rhyme? It's a Reddit. Oh, my gosh. Oh, a Reddit thread. Oh, that could go on. There's thousands of answers. I bet. I'm totally going to have to do that.

[00:37:00] In a lovely schoolyard rhyme, Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother 40 whacks, and when she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41. How did I miss this? Maybe it didn't make it to Canada. Did you know about Lizzie Borden in Canada? Yes. But we're not, you know, celebrating her. Jesus. You guys are crazy. First, the plague. Then the lady who chopped up her parents. Okay. Happy Tuesday.

[00:37:31] So dumb. I'm putting the Reddit thread in this notes. Okay. Jump rope games. See, that's what I'm saying. It was jump rope. There's multiple jump rope games. That's all I wanted to know. I just wanted to know if it was jump rope. Oh, yeah. It was jump rope. Double dutch is the hardest to do. Double dutch. The ropes go two ways. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't even do the ropes. More or less jump it. Something about Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all just in black, black, black. Black, yeah. The silver button. Wow. There's a lot. This is a rabbit hole for a bar.

[00:37:59] Somebody should do a rap video using all that. Call Snoop. Oh, wouldn't that be great? Call baby Snoop. Yeah. Me and Martha can get it going. Yeah. All right. Let's call Fabulous Amy to see if there's a Labor Day tip that we need to know to be fabulous. Okay. Oh, Labor Day. Great. It's coming up. Yeah, I know. It's still 1,000 degrees in August. I know. Okay. Amy. I'm kind of ready for summer to wind out a little bit. Just at least get in the 80s. It's been so high.

[00:38:29] Come on. Oh, God. Just getting in the car. Crazy. Ridiculous. Amy's on Instagram now. Oh. Yeah. Hey, Kat. Hi, Fabulous Amy. Hi, Amy. What are you doing? Hi, Paddles. What am I doing? Okay. I just actually walked in the door. I'm trying to organize all my neighbors. I found this lady. I know this is great. And actually, they're pretty thankful.

[00:38:59] They don't really look at me as being bossy yet. So. Yet. Yes. I found this sharpening lady at the farmer's market yesterday in Truro. Crazy. And she sharpens all your knives and your gardening shears and your scissors. And so I grabbed a card. And then I kind of was like talking to her. I'm like, hey, if I organize my neighbors, would you come to the little street we live on? And she's like, yeah. How many do you have? And I'm like, I don't know. I can probably get a lot.

[00:39:29] But anyway, I got like five neighbors. I know we all, it's hilarious. We all have our knives and baskets outside. And we were like, you know, we're going to go to war. It's like a killing street. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, hey. That's great. In case something happens, you know, we're all set on Sparrowhawk. So yeah. So I just sent her to the next neighbor. So my knives are sharpened. My gardening shears are sharpened. I'm all set. Okay. Great. Busy Tuesday in the cul-de-sac. If I had. Yeah. That's so. Did you go door to door and ask this?

[00:39:59] Or were you texting? No, no, no. Text, text, text. Oh. Yeah. I just texted a couple neighbors and said, hey, I've got, I've got a lady coming tomorrow to sharpen knives if you're interested. But yeah. And it's much cheaper. So it's, you know, it's one of those things that you need to get done once a year if you're, if you cook. All right. Well, did you give her a farewell cocktail? I hope. Oh gosh. I know. Right. No, she's got a, she's got a lickety split. She's got six more neighbors to do. Yeah. Can you imagine? Yeah. And you can't give somebody a cocktail.

[00:40:27] No, no Palomas with 12 knives. No. Love you, Beth. Well, we know Labor Day is coming up and I gave you the assignment because I know you already probably know it anyway. What? Yeah. If I'm having people over, what are the things that I absolutely positively need and where do I get them? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I'm, as you know, I'm hosting a backyard. I do barbecue for one of your favorite nephews. Yes.

[00:40:57] So I am super hyper aware that Labor Day is only two and a half weeks away. Right. Um, but you know, part of hosting anything is being prepared. So two things that I wanted to kind of rattle off today is, and this is regardless of whether you're having a fancy one or casual, but you really need these two things in your arsenal to be a good host. Nice. One is a good buffet table. Oh.

[00:41:25] And the other is a great cooler. And I know a buffet table does not sound very glamorous, but I'll tell you why you want this is you don't want your guests running through your house, dripping barbecue sauce all over your floors. You know, if you get a table, you can keep all the guests outside. You know, you need to kind of have this, if I build it, they will stay outside. Oh, I see. So you're tricking. You're like luring, luring bugs.

[00:41:52] You're luring bugs with an ant with some syrup or something and you're getting them out there. Exactly. Exactly. Well, because you don't want the guests in your way when you're prepping the food and cleaning up and you know, all that good stuff. No. Where do I go get it? Where would I get, you know what I would do? Cause I don't know what to do. I'd probably go to Target. Well, you can possibly go to Target, but I think, um, they're a little more industrial now. So they might, they might not carry them, but I know you can go to Sam's or Costco. Okay. We always, we always vote Costco.

[00:42:22] We always vote Costco over Sam's if possible because they treat their employees better. Yeah. Well, you know what? I read that. I read that. Yeah. I agree. So how much like would a, uh, that table costs at Costco? All right. So the table I'm talking about is the fold up kind. So they're about 30 inches deep, um, and 72 inches wide, which is about three feet in width and six feet long. And so they fold up in half.

[00:42:51] So you're really only having to store three feet because the legs fold up and then you can kind of just lean it against your garage. So they're great. That's going to cost you anywhere from about 50 bucks to a hundred bucks, depending on how sturdy and durable you want them. But most of them hold about 350 pounds. Wow. Christ. A lot of charcuterie. Right? That's a lot of hot dogs. Totally. That's a great idea. Now here's another question.

[00:43:21] I always look at fancy, well, not fancy people, just any people. I don't do these things. Fabulous people. Fabulous people. Right. So every time I've gone to, I had a bar, I usually borrowed one. Did you go by the tablecloth thing? And it's just, it's almost like the sheet they give you for a mammogram. It's just a piece of shit. It's going to fall apart. Like napkin. You have to have a good tablecloth over your $50 table. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you know what?

[00:43:50] That tablecloth and what I would recommend is doing it, you know, for example, my I do barbecue. I've got some great red and white, yeah, it's an I do barbecue. And I have some great, you must not have read the invitation down there. I just know I'm invited and I'm going to be in your basement anyway. So I'm coming whether you want, I'm there. I'm already, I'm already located there. No, in this case, I'm throwing a red and white checkered cotton tablecloth over.

[00:44:18] But that's what's great about these buffet tables is you can just throw whatever over and it covers everything up. And did you say a red and white Pizza Hut tablecloth? Well, not mine. It's not pizza. But I think Pizza Hut was the old like vinyl one that got real. Yeah, that was gross. Yeah. Everything slips. Everything slips. Amy's upgraded. So I could just throw them right into the right into the laundry once I'm done with the party. OK, I like it. I like it.

[00:44:43] And then they also if you get a good one and it drapes down to the bottom, you're going to be able to stick things underneath. Oh, you can hide shit. Like coolers, which is my other second weapon. OK. Fabulous backyard barbecue. Nice. The cooler. I'll tell you, coolers, they range in quality and price. And there's so, I mean, there's so many different kinds you can get. And it just depends on kind of the quality and what you really want to spend. But do you remember when we were kids?

[00:45:13] Do you remember the styrofoam coolers that mom and dad would drag out? Yeah, they were terrible. Yeah. And they'd have a hole in the bottom. And the water would get all over the floorboard. They sweat. OK. They've come a long, long way. So they're super fancy now. OK. Right now, Yeti is the cream of the crop cooler at the moment. I have two Yetis. And for good reason. Yes. Well, they're great. They're great. They are great, but I do have a complaint. My complaint is they're too heavy. Yeah.

[00:45:43] They do come with wheels now. Yeah. That is a thing. And I did read about that when I was doing a little bit of research the other day. But like Mike and Connie were here and I put beers in that Yeti for him, a thousand beers. And they're still cold today and it's Tuesday. Oh, yeah. I mean, it works. If it can be stationary, it's golden. Like it's the best thing that ever existed. It's like a refrigerator. I mean...

[00:46:12] The thing about Yeti is you can spend $200 for that little, what is it? The Yeti roadie, which is like a 15 quart and it has a hard top and then it zips. You know what I'm talking about? I have that. Yes. But then you can also spend $450 on the Yeti tundra, which is a 45 quart and then it goes all the way up to like $579 for a 72 quart. So they're crazy. I think that's your purple one, Kat. The purple. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. But it's got wheels.

[00:46:41] But I'll tell you, you use the heck of it. And this is interesting because the story behind Yeti is pretty cool. So it was founded in 2006 by two brothers, Roy and Ryan, and they're from Austin. And like everybody else using the cheapy styrofoam, they were frustrated with them falling apart and they were frustrated that the ice wasn't frozen when they were fishing and hunting. So they started building heavy duty roto molded hard coolers.

[00:47:09] So that's what their signature Yeti is. And then the other thing that they're, why they're so expensive, and I didn't know this is quite hilarious, but it also, the price reflects the cost of very intensive durability testing. Did you know these things are bear proof? Oh, hey, no, wait. I have to tell this story because no one will believe it. So there, I've, I left a Yeti out, a stationary Yeti on the porch and went on the road.

[00:47:38] The raccoon, the raccoons, but I had the cat food in the Yeti for my neighbor to come over and get the food out of the Yeti. And I thought it was so secure. The raccoons, their little tiny hands, they clawed and clawed and clawed at it. Like they are determined little animals. I sent a picture and Yeti said, we will send you another one. Can you send this back and we want to use it? Because they did not get in.

[00:48:06] No, they did not. But I'm like, what are these claw marks? And then I thought the only thing, a possum isn't that aggressive. The only thing that could have done it. And so they, they said, can we use this picture in ads? That is hilarious. And I said, yeah, you're free to do whatever you want with it. I don't care. I just want another cooler that doesn't look like, right. Like it looks like I took a knife and just went all over the cooler. They're, they're known for their, it's, they know for their five-year warranty.

[00:48:35] It's grizzly bear resistant certification when locked five-year warranty. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. Who tested that? Oh, what if I, what if I don't have this kind of money though? What's the next one down? Like what's the second best? I want to call it fabulous and then just regular. Right. What's regular? Well, I mean, you don't want to go back to styrofoam, right? No. That's terrible for the environment and little Sienna will kill you. But so. The children will kill us.

[00:49:05] The children will rise up. The children will stuff the styrofoam down our throats as we die. Totally. Pigs. Pigs. But you still want the roto molded cooler, which is, you know, the high performance plastic that they put in this like oven, which is like what Yeti does. And you don't want to spend the 200 to 500 bucks. Our TIC is the closest direct competitor. Now, I actually had not really heard of them until I started doing a little bit of research on this.

[00:49:35] But it was also founded by, and this is kind of funny, by two twin brothers, Jim and John, who also live in Texas. And they did this in 2014. So I am certain that Roy and Ryan probably were a little upset with their cowboy brothers. Oh, yeah. Across the state. And their motto for our TIC is overbuilt, not overpriced. Oh. Oh. I'm like, hey. A little shade. Watch this.

[00:50:04] Where is that sold? Like on websites or Costco? Yeah, yeah. So I'll make sure that I can give it to Paddles and put it in the schnotes. We'll put it in the schnotes. Okay. Their coolers are 35 bucks for an 8-can everyday cooler, up to 150 bucks for the 22-quart ultralight wheeled cooler, which is actually pretty cool. It's got wheels and all that stuff. That's cool. It looks kind of like a Yeti. The other thing that's nice about the RTIC is you can also get them to print your logo

[00:50:33] on it or your name on their website. And it was kind of included. These Southerners, they'll monogram anything. They will monogram. They'll monogram a monogram. Yep. Yeah. And they have really coolers. They love it. So they're really kind of giving Yeti a run for their money. Okay, good. They do not have a bear-proof warranty. Okay. But they do have warranties depending on which cooler that you buy. Well, I don't think I'm going to be encountering any bears, but maybe. You never know. No.

[00:51:02] There's a bear at Lake of the Ozarks when you go back, when you leave beautiful Cape Cod. Right. I have a funny story, too, about the Yeti cooler. So, you know, Rosie the Wonder Dog, when she was a puppy, we got that Yeti, you know, the little zipper one that comes in? Yes. We got that from one of your brother's corporate big gigs. Mm-hmm. And it was amazing. It had the zipper lid. I loved it. I took it on the boat. I took it on car trips. I took it on the girls' trip.

[00:51:31] Anyway, I wasn't paying attention, and Rosie decided to teeth on it, kind of like your raccoons. But she actually made headway. So she actually got the zipper kind of cockeyed. Oh. And it wouldn't zip properly. And that's the whole thing is that unless these things are zipped the whole way, then they won't. They won't do their thing. Yeah, your ice melts or whatever. I've made that mistake. Yeah. So I just, I didn't, I should have just taken a picture and sent it, but I wrote them like

[00:51:57] this nice letter about how much I used it, and I loved it, and my dog is a shark and he's hated. And anyway, I was so distraught. Oh, wow, you got them both back. Nice. Right? And now I have two. That's fantastic. Well, look at you go.

[00:52:27] Boom. Right? All right. Well, this has been a wonderful, I can't wait to see you soon enough. I have to go to Atlantic City first. We'll talk to you next week. All right. I'm trying to think on Labor Day, is there anything else if you're having people over? I should ask my friend Lorene because she's a Filipino family of like 9 million people. They must have tricks and tricks. Maybe Amy's got a couple appetizers, and then we can make one or two of them. That are easy. Easy ones. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. I can send you some. That feed, well, in your family, 75 people.

[00:52:56] What are you going to be feeding me at this I do barbecue? Well, barbecue, hello. Okay. Are we ordering that in? Oh, a hundred percent. I'm all for caterer, caterer, caterer. Yeah. No, no, no. Okay, great. Not happening. Joseph's going to be upset if he can't barbecue and grill and look like a man. Well, bad luck because there are about 50 people coming, and I want this to be easy, and everyone's outside. So, yeah, outside, baby.

[00:53:25] And, you know, no telling in Missouri at the lake whether it's going to be 120 or if it's going to be 50. What about grandma's dog? What are we doing with grandma's dog? Well, here's the interesting thing is I believe your nephew is bringing his two dogs. Oh, wow. And I'm not 100% sure that they are friendly with Maggie. So, I think Maggie may have to stay home. Oh, oh. Is that your mom's dog? She's going to be bummed. Oh, Maggie is my mom's dog. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to need to see a video of that.

[00:53:55] Maggie cannot be alone for more than 11 minutes. No. No. Ask anyone. Or all hell breaks loose. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Anyway, but. I can't wait to see you soon enough. All right. Be good out there on Cape Cod. Enjoy shopping for Labor Day. All right. Good info. We'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye. Thank you. Bye. Bye. She's so good. Everybody's great today.

[00:54:19] Who the hell finds this knife sharpening lady and then invites that person to your neighborhood? For fun. And then doesn't give me a drink. That's the kind of shit I always think. Amy just amazes me. Amy, it's fabulous. Amy, because I would never think of that. No. It wouldn't even cross my mind. And then she actually does it and then people are excited about it. Right. It. Yeah. Just. It's insane. It's five stars. I did not know all that about Yeti. No. And I did not know they're both from Texas.

[00:54:49] The competitor won. That's crazy. I do think Yeti needs to work on not being so heavy though. Well, I think that's the technology. I know. But the way you have that big guy down there. I mean, he's got wheels. It's. I mean, I've never. Yeah, but I can't drag it back up. When we're done with the boat. Well, you need to make some more friends. I know. Big, big friends. Big friends that are under. I need Xavier. I need a 28 year old. Whatever he is. Maybe he'll move in. He would. Yeah. Maybe he'll be a fireman in Nashville. Oh, fun.

[00:55:19] Yeah. Nashville Fire. Great. And then he could be on the show. He's so cute. Oh, he's adorable. Yeah. Mm-hmm. He could just transfer from being one and then also be an actor on the side because I have a a lot of time off. He's so many things. I know. Crazy. I've still worked his future out. I'm calling him. Gotta call him after. Hey, Xavier, ever thought, do we still have that show, Nashville Fire? Is there a Nashville Fire? Did I make that up? No, you made it up. There's Chicago Fire. It's Nashville 911 or something like that. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. We're moving on here. Sort of unwatchable. Holy shit. They found it.

[00:55:49] This is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. It's a real life Pikachu. From? Really? It's a Pikachu. Oh, cool. But it's not. Here's what it is. A tiny golden brush tail possum. Don't think American possum. Don't think that. No. This thing looks like the cutest cat with its ears go weirdly sideways.

[00:56:18] He was found alone on the ground in Melbourne, Australia and brought to such and such veterinarian clinic and hospital for help. Vets believe the five-month-old baby had fallen from her mother's back. But this little rescue had something incredibly rare. Her bright golden coat is caused by a genetic mutation that results in unusually low levels of melanin. Her appearance was so striking that people began immediately calling her Pikachu. I'm not sure how you pronounce that. I looked online. I think it's Pikachu. Yeah.

[00:56:48] I don't know. Yeah. After spending the night at the clinic. Oh my God. It's between like a cat and a dog and a possum. I don't. Giant eyes. Giant eyes. Fun. And she's golden. Well, she's going to go spend her life in a wildlife center because she's too easy for predators to spot and kill. Cool. But now she's got a second ship.

[00:57:12] I mean, I know I would not keep it as a pet in my house, but I would work at that wildlife center. Oh. That's awesome. Holy shit, they found it. It's a great thing about technology because most technology I don't like. New discovery of Viking ship in Norway. A 20 meter long Viking ship has been discovered under using geo radar on a mound previously believed to be empty. Wow.

[00:57:38] The ship burial at Alvnes on the, I don't know. Rogaland is one of the most significant Viking kings that ever existed. The most significant Viking archaeological project in Norway. And it's perfect. Cool. So all they got to do is dig around it. That'd be such a great job. That's awesome. I don't know.

[00:58:07] And you know what? These Norwegians do it pretty quickly. Yeah. They believe the burial belongs to the late 8th or early 9th century, making it one of the earliest Viking ship burials known from Norway. That's awesome. Yeah. How great. Will that be when they pull that up? Very cool. They go on and on and on, but that's a little too intense. Fun. Moving on to news. There's no sports news. Got any updates?

[00:58:36] I got a thing about buying the Lakers, but I have no updates. Nothing. I'm telling you, the earth is still. People are still. The Lakers is an update. I think it. I'm going to. I'm going to. I think it's people are getting their kids back to school. Summer's kind of. I'm getting ads for sweaters and it's still a hundred. Home Depot or Lowe's. One of them has Christmas shit. Christmas stuff. I know. It's crazy. Unbelievable. Do you guys like Wendy's?

[00:59:05] We're moving on to news? Okay. Yeah. I got you. Do you like it? I do. I love their chili and I love their ice cream. Their chili gets rated highly every year. It's great. Whoever rates all that stuff. Only one that beats it is Steak and Shake, in my opinion, as far as fast food goes. Okay. After two years of struggling with competing, of struggles competing with the likes of Behemoth's

[00:59:29] McDonald's and Yum, which is Taco Bell, and startups such as Shake Shack. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Buried inside Wendy's. Brutal second quarter earnings call last week was a mention that 289 locations are closing in the United States in the first half of the year. Wow. There's always too many, though, too. A lot. But there's just too many. They went crazy.

[00:59:56] And they sell the franchises and everybody thinks, I want to own a Wendy's or I want to own a McDonald's. And then you're right next to another one because nobody checked all that shit out. Well, and I don't know anybody that goes there for breakfast. You can have a billion McDonald's because there's lines everywhere. Starbucks. I never think about their breakfast. That's the problem. That's why you're closing stuff. Well, maybe they need to concentrate on that. You live on the road. Yeah. I only think about, I like the burgers. Okay. Yeah, but this is not good.

[01:00:26] If you notice one closing by your house, don't say I didn't tell you so. Watches. Watches. Watches. All right. So here's our little sports update. Okay. Josh Kushner, Jared's brother. Okay. Bob Iger, the mouse. He's Disney. They bought the Lakers. What do you mean he's Disney? He owns all of Disney. Does he? Yeah. No, I think he's the. I think baby cat's knocking shit over downstairs. I keep hearing very strange noises. She's sitting right there. Oh, shit.

[01:00:56] You have people working on your roof when I got here. I do, but I shouldn't be able to hear that inside. Look at baby cat being a perfect mascot. It's your roof in your upstairs. Josh and Bob pulled their money. Mm-hmm. They had a call, and they immediately could come up with $12.5 billion for the Lakers. Wow. I mean, but now the family's fighting. The Laker owner family. He's the CEO of the Disney companies. Twice.

[01:01:25] Bob Iger. Really? 2005 to 2020. That's a long time. Mm-hmm. And then 2022 to 2026. So they hired somebody else in the middle, and they went, nope, and then they popped them back in. I never did watch that. There's a Lakers documentary or something about the whole thing. I wrote it down for you. Okay. I haven't seen it, but I'm going to go watch it. Well, yeah, maybe I should watch it now. Maybe somebody could do a new one and update all that. His net worth is $690 million. That's not. No.

[01:01:54] You're not in the billionaire club. No, as of 2019. Mm-hmm. It's probably a billion now. Okay. All I know is that comedian Jay Moore married into this family. Oh. His wife is a news anchor, or was a news anchor and correspondent for the Today Show. Bob Igers? Mm-hmm. Oh, that. They got married in 95. Huh. I don't know. Yeah.

[01:02:25] Now they have the Lakers. There's just, I feel bad because there's just like, no, this is crazy. I mean, I was desperate for news this week. Yeah. And normally, I'm over full on stories and updates. And I think, I like that we're in a lull. It doesn't help the podcast. Sorry about that, guys. But I like the quiet of summer. But I'm about ready for it. Let's wrap this up. Come on.

[01:02:55] Well, it's football season. Coming. There's no sports. Golf. Yeah. But the golf is shitty. Mm-hmm. Nobody cares about the fight X, stupid whatever. No. There's no. Well, baseball is pretty cool. A rookie Cardinal guy. His first game ever. Three at-bats. He hit three home runs. It's crazy. It's a record-setting thing. Yeah. And the Cardinals aren't fucking good again. No. So Fred Berg remains back here. Hiding behind Cher. Who's falling over? Baseball.

[01:03:25] Nothing. No. I mean, it's bullshit. They moved. I'm like, that's what he said. I go, what? What? Oh, sweet flower. And he goes, now we don't have a NFL start until September 13th because we fucking moved Labor Day. And so I got to watch three weeks. And he'll bet on college football. He's like, they'll bet on anything. And he goes, I mean, I like college football. But three weeks of that before we get to anything.

[01:03:53] I go, I know it's a long wait, little chicken. It is funny. Simmer down. This is crazy. I do not know how this can happen. And it makes me laugh because sometimes it's better to be a poor person than to be a rich person. And here's why. A 98 foot yacht. So my boat's 25 feet. So it's four of my boat. And mine's just a regular runabout, open bow, go out for fun thing. My boat might even be too small for Lake of the Ozarks.

[01:04:22] This boat's here in Old Hickory. It can handle this lake. So it's a 100 foot yacht, basically. It was worth 9.1 million. Sank into the Mediterranean Sea. Oh my God. Just days if it was delivered to its new owner. 14 guests and crew were on the Angolia 2 Tuesday off the coast of the popular resort town Porto Servo, Sardinia, when an engine failure sparked a fire and the ship began to take on water.

[01:04:51] Dramatic footage shows the massive vessel capsized on its side, slowly submerging below the surface. Miraculously, no injuries. No, no, no. Of course. You know what? Unless somebody cannot swim and they can't identify a life jacket and you're too dumb to know what a life jacket is, there should be no excuse for anyone drowning here. No. It's going to sink so slowly. I mean, not days, but you got at least an hour. Grab a life jacket, jump in the water. Yeah.

[01:05:19] But that would be my mom going, I can't swim. And she absolutely can swim. Getting in this water. Everybody was rescued. The owner, believed to be an Italian businessman who has not been named, and another passenger, were reportedly the last to abandon ship. Well, good for them. You're the captain. Yep. When I drive that boat and I have people in it as my little passengers, I feel like I'm in charge. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not having 100 beers. Like, I'm driving. I saw your video with the cousins on Sunday. It looked fun.

[01:05:49] It was great. Yeah. But I feel responsible. So good for these guys. Okay. They didn't jump ship. After the rescue, the half-sunk yacht was secured on the ocean floor to keep it in place. How do you do that? I don't know. Officials said it does not appear that any fuel has leaked. The now-wrecked Angolia 2 has been delivered to the owner. Four days. He had it four days. Wow. That's crazy. That's crazy.

[01:06:18] I bought this chaparral and it sank the first week I had it. It didn't sink. I stopped it. What do you mean it almost? Because somebody didn't put the water valve on. You know, it's a new boat and there's going to be kinks. And he didn't put the returning water valve on tight enough. And it just started taking on water. So I called my friend Greg up at a lake bar and said, come tell me quickly. Of course you called a bar. Yeah, call a bar. On this lake? Yeah.

[01:06:48] I don't know who else you would call. If you call the Corps of Engineers, they're like, I don't know, you got any friends? Yes, I have a lot of goddamn friends. Well, call one of them. That's funny. This 400-foot yacht can go 32 miles an hour. They're going to deploy a 220-ton pontoon boat to retrieve the ship from the wreckage site.

[01:07:15] But this is my argument about, so if you don't have a lot of money, I'm not saying poor people, just saying not a lot of money. Okay. Well, the new pontoon boats, the tripods, are very expensive. But a pontoon boat's never sinking. You couldn't sink it if you fucking wanted to. You could shoot it and shoot it with shotguns, rifles, pistols. We're not advocating that. It'll blow up. Nah.

[01:07:44] I'm saying shoot the top, the front. You are guaranteed that the listener of this is a good shot. Well, don't shoot the motor. We all know that. I'm just saying pontoon boats make it through tornadoes. Okay. This guy spent $9.1 million in boats at the bottom of the ocean. You do not have a pontoon boat, but you're an advocate. I am because that boat's fun.

[01:08:11] That boat's fun, but it's a pain in the ass. Okay. As I get older, I see the joys of a pontoon boat way more. Well, let's get you a pontoon boat. I just, I don't, there's no lift involved. I just walk down, step on, even. It's all an even step. Okay. And then I boom, put the key in and back out. Boom. I'm gone. And then I boom. I don't even have to cover it. True. So much easier. It's wonderful. All right. More news. This is because nothing's going on, people.

[01:08:40] I can't, I can't make shit up. So I just find the weirdest stories I can. This is crazy. There's only 10 or less in the world. Meet Moya, a stunning white lion photographed in South Africa by wildlife photographer Simon Needham. Fewer than 10 are believed to roam freely in the wild. White lions are not albino.

[01:09:08] Their genetic coats are caused by a rare genetic condition called leucism, which occurs only when both parents carry the same recessive gene. Once driven to the brink of, by trophy hunting, these majestic lions are now protected in a handful of reserves and sanctuary. His snow white coat and piercing blue eyes. I mean, you can't find anything. That's pretty cool. More beautiful. He's beautiful. He's like a snow lion. Cool. Like I would call him a snow lion. He's, yeah.

[01:09:38] Okay. I like a snow lion. It's a he. So this guy got a picture of him. That's awesome. Pretty cool. Good news. Cool. Good news. Very good news. I'm going to, oh, weird news. Okay. Oprah Winfrey is closing that school in South Africa. Wait, what happened?

[01:10:08] Wait. Oh, I thought he died. We need a new battery for the goat. Yeah. Now he goes. Sounds like a sheep. Oh, like a raccoon. Even the goat's dying. It's a bad week. She's closing it. You know, there were issues over there too. And then initially when it was built, everybody screams, why didn't you do that in Chicago? And you know what?

[01:10:38] If I was Oprah, I were Oprah. What's the proper gram on that? If I had been Oprah, I would have done both. So I represent my hometown and I represent my history. If that's what she's going for on that one. Yep. I think that would have been a very good Libra middle answer to simmer everyone down. Because all you're going to do, if you open the school in South Africa for girls and blah, blah, blah, underprivileged kids, everybody's going to scream, you're from fucking Chicago.

[01:11:08] Why don't you do that? Chicago's got a lot of problems. It should have been both. A lot of places. Yeah. And then there were weird accusations and stuff and the whole thing's, yeah. Yeah. Yep. So just know, don't try to send your kid there. It's closing. They are not taking applications. Okay. It's Home Depot has Christmas in July and August. I think it's like a thing. And two, 300 items already sold out.

[01:11:36] Oh no. Where do people store this stuff? Ridiculous. I know when you see the shit out in their front yard, you're like, what? Where do you? Like I have a nice size house. This is probably 32, 3400 square feet. I like it. It's fine. It's very clean. But also, I have room to store shit because I don't have 70,000 children running around with their shit too. Your liquor room is crazy. My liquor room's a style. Yeah. Ooh.

[01:12:04] You don't see that in a listing. You don't. It's a secret door. We're moving on. We're not staying dumb. Oh wait, I got to do Jimothy. Yeah, I got to do Jimothy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that lobster. Lobster. Oh yeah, my thing's kind of on. Oh, and Anna went to her. Oh my God. So many things. This is crazy. You know what? I don't have. It's because you're hot. I don't have the lobster story. I'll do it next week. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened.

[01:12:33] You've been telling me about this for three weeks. I know. It's lobsters in Pompeii. What? I know. Yeah, I mean, that was kind of exciting. Well, we'll just have to, you know, sometimes you've got to wait. Disappointment. God. So Jimothy. Okay. He's the crazy raccoon in Seattle. He has a spinal disorder. It's very sad. But I think Jimothy's making his way and motoring around. He doesn't seem to be terribly affected by it. No. And nobody else has killed him. The other raccoons didn't think, oh, you're a freak and just murder him. Right. True.

[01:13:03] He's fine. Yep. Well, what's super great is that the Seattle Mariners made a drink after Jimothy. They call it the trash panda concession item. It honors Jimmy the raccoon with a trash can cup shown in the photo. According to from the front office of the Mariners, they're starting to serve the trash panda cocktail in honor of the viral sensation. If you haven't seen a video of Jimothy, just put that in TikTok or put that in Instagram.

[01:13:33] And it's freakish looking. Oh, sorry. Wow. Because he kind of looks like a ball running. Yep. But then I wondered, does he? He doesn't seem to hurt. I mean, he's running a million miles an hour. Right. They've added a second night of Jimothy cocktails due to high demand. That's so great. You can also get a Jimothy T-shirt. I had the recipe.

[01:14:00] But it comes, the cocktail comes, they have a mini trash can. Oh, fun. Because he's a trash panda. That's great. It's adorable. And then they have a little Jimothy on there. I would totally go to the game just for that. Are the Mariners good this year? I don't know. We don't know. I don't follow the American League. That's okay. Unless I have to talk to a comedian friend who's a Yankees fan. I got it. That's not my thing. Let's talk before we get out of here.

[01:14:28] This is crazy to me. Okay. This is also like, I don't know anything about the world of fashion. I would love to have a fashion person that that's all their life. Okay. To call, not every week, but every now and then. And to go, what the fuck is going on with you people? Anna Wintour. I assume I'm saying that right. We will go. I sent you half all day. How old is Anna? She's in charge of the Met Gala.

[01:14:57] Now that is something, A, I would never attend because I can't, I can't, I can't get involved on all that. I can't do all that. Is there anybody else while I'm here that you want me to Google their age today? Well, we'll have to wait and see. Okay. We're not done. 76. Oh, that's it? She's a Scorpio. Is she British? Mm-hmm. Oh. So she's Scorpio. Meow. Oh. Yeah. Careful. Yeah. You're on a recorded line. Yeah, I know. You know what? Those three of my best friends are born in the same week in November and they're all Scorpios

[01:15:27] because that's because Libras don't care. We're like, you can, you want, it's, you know, where do you want to go to eat? Oh, Scorpio is called. Yep. This is where we're going to eat. And there's no exceptions. And it's absolutely already done. And we're like, awesome. Then there's infighting. We're just awesome. I'm like, awesome. Someone decided something. I don't know. But then they fight amongst each other and they watch Scorpios go tail on tail. It's crazy. All right.

[01:15:53] This article was written by Johnny Oleksinski and Anna Wintour has rubber stamped bigotry by choosing anti-Semitic Galliano for the Met show of next year. So I'm fascinated by it. I never want to be part of it. I wouldn't even ever go. The Met Gala. I just think it's so ostentatious and I think it's kind of shitty, but I don't know what the money goes to.

[01:16:23] If it's a good charity, then maybe whatever. Stevie went. I don't think Stevie would go to something evil. No. Stevie doesn't do anything evil. But she may not know. But the white witch should know everything. Here's the article. Okay. Call me old fashioned, but publicly exclaiming I love Hitler used to automatically disqualify hold on.

[01:16:49] Used to automatically disqualify people from receiving prestigious honors in Manhattan. I'm pretty sure it did. However, in these topsy-turvy times, flagrant and repeated anti-Semitism gets you the red carpet treatment in the bigoted apple saying, ooh, fucking Jewish bitch and fucking something else worse to a woman at a bar is apparently not a deal breaker whatsoever for her royal haughtiness Anna Wintour. Wow.

[01:17:19] Hold on. The Condé Nast bigwig and former Vogue editor just proved it by picking disgraced British fashion British designer John Galliano as next year's Met Costume Institute show focus. Wow. Wow. Oh, yeah. I mean, if we- I don't know anything about him. No. I never heard of any of these people. No. And then there's a picture of him and he looks like a vampire. He's in a vampire cape. He looks like a bat that I see fly over my back porch every night.

[01:17:48] Um, and, and he's a bat and he's got two Mickey Mouse pigtails on top of his head. What? I don't know who this person is. He's a hateful little dude. But hold on. God. Anna said there's no one more deserving. Oh my God. So the one time Christian Dior creative director, he was the one time, he was Christian Dior's

[01:18:12] who was found guilty in France in 2011 of, of going on anti-Semitic and racist rants. Jesus. Will be feted at the 2027 Met Gala by A-list stars. Doesn't anybody stand up and say no? Well, ew. Or has he, has he apologized? Did he retract it? Or does he feel that way? I have a feeling if he had apologized, it would be in there. I would think maybe. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I don't know that. I mean, maybe he.

[01:18:41] Well, you could come out and say I'm not a human, I'm a vampire. And we have different feelings. True that. Yep. True that. Haven't we spent the last six years being lectured about inclusion at the exact time, at the exact, by the exact same elite attendees of this, oh, it's $100,000 per person. Haven't they driven, haven't they loudly driven the point home typically in the service of self-preservation that words and deeds have consequences?

[01:19:11] Why, yes, they have. Thus, in choosing Galliano, Wintour and her sled pals are effectively saying, except when it comes to vile speech about Jews. That's totally fine with them. In vogue, even, if you will. So he's anti-Semitic, specifically. Not that, I mean, not that that's good. I'm just saying he's, that he's specifically. Specifically, that's his thing. Wow. I don't know he has other racist rants, too. Probably category two, three, four.

[01:19:39] I don't know who else he hates, but here we go with the end of this. Whoa, here's another. Oh. We should probably put a little asterisk on this, that if you have children listening in your car. Well, I mean, it's anti-Semitism that exists, and depending on how young a kid is, I'm sure their parents are explaining it. Okay. You have smart termites. Well, yeah, and my Jewish friends always, it amazes me because they always raise their kids probably two to three years older than we ever did. Right.

[01:20:08] Like, they talk to them when they're 12 like they're 15. Okay. But I think it's in a good way. Okay. Like, they're informed. Yeah. Inform. Information. Understood. By the way, this is not some vetting whoopsie in which social media users dug up old offensive tweets. That matters. Right. Did some person just do this 20 years ago and they were drunk at a party, or is this like an ongoing thing? Okay. Well, Galliano's guilt is common knowledge.

[01:20:39] Wintour didn't become the only famous editor in the world by being dumb. She knows exactly what she's doing. She wasn't caught between rock and a racist. He isn't on the verge of death. He's 65, not 90. The Met hasn't exhausted its suppliers of designers to showcase. Why would you do that? That makes sense. On forced air. On forced air. Yep. Why would you do that? Nope. This is a carefully constructed, calculated exercise in a PALS imagery. Oh, we're trying to rehab his image. That happens.

[01:21:09] That's happening opportunistically at a time when she knows she'll get minimal pushback in the press for rubber stamping and antisemite. Indeed, she has not. The devil not only wears Prada, she issues publicist. Oh, I love the infighting. He's a great designer. His career isn't defined by a moment. That's not just a moment. Nope. Nope. No. Something he will live with for the rest of his life. Wow.

[01:21:38] Oh, and the exhibition won't shy away from the darkness of his past. It's part of what has shaped him. The show will take the full arc of his career and grapple with all of it. Wow. Nah. You're still elevating him. I don't agree. I don't agree. I don't agree. You shouldn't do that. In court, he testified he had no memory of the incidents in 20, 2010 and 20, 2011. He blamed the tirade on his addiction to alcohol, Valium, and sleeping pills. Okay.

[01:22:07] I've been drunk a million times in my life. I never understand when people go, well, I got drunk and then I became a racist. Exactly. What does it matter with you? Those words are either in your vocabulary commonly or they're not. Right. Or can there be an incident? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. He said, I won't even go in. He said way worse, way worse stuff. Way worse. Holy shit. This is crazy.

[01:22:36] No, pills did not sincerely plant those abhorrent thoughts into his head. They were already there. I kind of agree. And I've done really dumb shit when I'm drunk. But I never switched and became a racist. I woke up and went, now I'm a total racist or I'm walking around saying hateful shit. Exactly. God. I don't know. I don't know any of these people. I just like the stories. It's crazy. I love the inviting of the elites too. All right. We're moving.

[01:23:06] We're not staying dumb. Okay. So in Spanish, well, Bob already taught us a new one. If we're going to go on a date, I need to know what religion you are. Okay. I forgot now. It's been too long since I watched it. Relijon eras. Okay. Let's go backwards. I also want to know how much money do you make? Quanto dinero ganas? Do you have health insurance? Tiena segura medico.

[01:23:35] And then we've all learned. And these will stick in your head, folks. Trust me. This is how you do stand up over years and years. You just repetition. Where's the beach? Donde esta la playa? Like it rolls off my tongue now. I've read it so many times. How far is the airport? A que distancia esta la aeropuerto? We're rolling. And I like at the end how you cock your head like, you're finished. Right. I'm leaving Cancun. I'm leaving Cozumel. What were we into the first time?

[01:24:05] Vamanos! Vamanos or vamos. Yep. I still haven't been taught by anyone that's actually a Spanish-speaking person. I have an email from a termite. I'll help you. This is from Cheryl Grammar. Because I lost my other big grammar notes. I had one and I can't find it. She says, thanks for doing the podcast. Here's her grammar thing. Ready?

[01:24:32] So when people say, please vote yay or nay for the proposed bill, that is spelled Y-E-A. Yay. Yep. I can't imagine if you said vote yay or nay and somebody wrote yay. Like Y-A-Y. Z-O. Why, right? Y-A-Y. So yay is an affirmative vote. Example, please vote yay or nay on the proposed bill. Okay. Yay, Y-A-Y. Excitement, joy, happiness. Example, yay, a new podcast has been released.

[01:25:02] Yeah. Yeah is a casual slangy way of saying yes. Example, yeah, I'm going. She goes, I know it's petty, but let's not stay dumb. Love it. I like it. And my black people that should be celebrated because we're, you know, everybody wants to. Did I miss the Spanish part? Yeah. What did you say? What religion are you? Okay.

[01:25:31] Que religión eres, I think. I listened to it earlier this morning and then I got sidetracked. We did a lot of Spanish there. I liked it. Yeah. Mm-hmm. All right. You don't want to do black history in schools? Here we go. Every time you get refrigerated fruit at your grocery store, in your mind, you should thank the black guy, Frederick McKinley Jones, because in 1940 he invented refrigerated trucks. Nice. Yep.

[01:25:58] They could take produce, it could take produce to your local grocery store. There was no produce before being delivered like that. You had to go to the deal and get your shit. The farm or the market. Yeah. He was a huge inventor. It's like once you're into that, like these inventors are all super weird in a great way. Great. He got his patent for the refrigerated produce truck in 1940 and co-founded the U.S. Thermo Control Company, later known as Thermo King. Oh, wow.

[01:26:28] Right. Good for him. Right. Yeah. Good for him. Frederick McKinley Jones, born in 1940. That's great. I got my feel-good story. Smart man. This is the greatest story. It is going to make me cry. Okay. All of the Beagles have been released. Yeah. In Wisconsin. Yep. You can't watch the videos without bawling. No. No.

[01:26:56] They took the last 155 out last week. Of the farm. What's it called? Ridgeland Farms. Ridgeland Farms. Yeah. Good. Good. It's been open for 60 years. Good job to all those kids who were fighting for years. Yeah. People went to jail for that. Yeah. Like, what? Can we get them out of jail? I'll not. No, there's people still in jail. I mean, probably not with the current administration, but. He might not pay attention. Let's try. Okay. Let's try.

[01:27:26] Where's some lawyers in Wisconsin? Go get those people. Where's the lady with the Stephen Avery case in Wisconsin? Oh, yeah. Kathleen. Yeah. Let's call her. Yeah. July 1st, 2026. Nice. That was a cutoff. Yep. Bye-bye, chicken pie. You don't exist. Okay. I can't believe we don't get this lobster story. Crazy. Well, hold on. Maybe I should. No, it's okay. No. Nah.

[01:27:55] Stevie's going down. Stevie's going down. Nope. Stevie's been. No, no, no. I'm talking about white Stevie. Oh. The Belladonna Stevie. Oh, it's getting heavy. Heavy paper. A lot going on out there. I recycle paper for all the termites that care about that. Yes, I do. Yes. Don't worry. Let's do a saint, and then we'll do two quotes. We're going to do a quote by Dolly since she's not feeling so good. The world needs a little more Dolly. I know. Especially today.

[01:28:23] I wonder how the night ride went for the kids that went down there. I don't know. Probably awesome. It sounds crazy. Probably awesome. All right. This one. The feast of St. Aloysius Gonzaga. Now, there's a school, if you play March Madness, named Gonzaga. And I didn't even know what that was. And my mom was like, how do you not know St. Gonzaga? Mom, there's only so many days, and there's way too many saints. Okay? I can't. I almost went to school there. He was.

[01:28:52] Oh. Spokane. Oh, look at Spokane trying to get Canadians. Oh, you're cheating. Yeah. They're cheating. They're going north. Yeah. International school scholarship. Come on. International. International. I can see Windsor from Detroit. Doesn't matter. Doesn't count. Nope. Well, he was born Aloysius Gonzaga in 1591. He's the patron saint of, wait a minute. Did I do? Oh, yeah.

[01:29:19] Of AIDS caregivers and young men, just in general. Okay. If I'm Aloysius, I'm going to be like, can we narrow that down? What the fuck? All young men. What the fuck does that mean? Just everybody. His father, a Venetian knight, wanted his son to pursue a military career, but little Aloysius fainted at the sound of vulgar language. Probably not meant for the military.

[01:29:48] Can you imagine? Nope. If like all my parents ever said was, God damn it, shit. God damn it. They never didn't. They didn't say fuck hardly ever. Like, but God damn it was run of the mill. And I know for Southerners that are Christian-y, that's like very offensive, but it wasn't in my house. Nope. And if they said, God damn it, one of us just fainted. Like a fainting goat. Oh, I can't hear that shit. What is wrong with you? Ah, ears. But little Aloysius fainted.

[01:30:16] Sent as a teenager to serve in the luxurious court of Philip II of Spain, he was especially wary of females. He made a point of never being alone with one and not expecting his own mother. He did, however, enjoy self-abuse of all kinds. He put chunks of wood in his bed to ward off temptations of the flesh, volunteered to carry

[01:30:40] out the slopes of total strangers, and then when climbing stairs, stopped to say a Hail Mary at every step, which slowed his progress somewhat. Sure would. That's going to slow you down. He said he'd have fled Spanish court after refusing an order to kiss a girl's shadow. Back home, his father caught his 17-year-old son and heir flogging himself in his room. and sent him off to join the Jesuits.

[01:31:06] Aloysius died before his priestly ordination of the plague he contracted while nursing the sick. He's always been upheld as a role model to Jesuit students. That would be my brothers. Wow. And recently has been proposed as a patron saint of AIDS caregivers. It's a proposal. Okay. He hasn't really. Okay. Okay. Hey. All men.

[01:31:35] You're in charge of all young men. I don't want to break bad news to you, but one of our kids is a fainting goat. I said, God damn, and he fainted. We got to talk to that boy. Then I said, shit, and he fainted again. Wow. Here's a quote from Duda2. Okay. One from Dolly and one from Miley, but first Miley. I like it. This is on 2020, and she's talking about drinking and on drugs and all that. Okay.

[01:32:05] I would say it would be a cold day in hell for me to relapse on drugs. I would possibly take mushrooms. I need her to take those mushrooms that people see plastic, tiny people heckling you. That somebody's got to do it. Somebody's got to step up. Dwarf's not going to do it? He never heard of it. He's like, Maddie, where'd you get this information? Unlike the internets, the World Wide Web. It's not. I'm serious, Brian. It's proven.

[01:32:33] If I can procure these mushrooms, will you do it and tell me if you see tiny plastic people? I think he will. Okay. I like it. He should. It'll be fun. Hold on. I had a Dolly one. The problem is I have so many of these earmarked that then I don't know them. Okay. Well, in honor of Dollywood having a new ride at Dollywood, this is in 2009.

[01:33:05] She's at a speech at University of Tennessee commencement speech. She's discussing the creation of Dollywood. 2009. I really wish y'all could have seen the look on my lawyer's face 24 years ago when I told her to start a theme park and call it Dollywood. He thought I'd already taken the train to Crazywood. Ha ha! Wow. Wow. And look at that. That's 2009.

[01:33:35] Yeah. Look, it's 2000. How many candy nuts have been served? 26. And she's got a brand new ride down there tonight. Awesome. Ladies and gentlemen. And if you have the guts to go on a ride at night, it sounds like one of the best ones. What are you watching? That's the problem. I went and dug up the billionaire murders about Barry and Honey Sherman. Oh, how was it? It's great. But the Toronto police should be terribly embarrassed. It'd be like killing Bill Gates. He's worth $6 billion.

[01:34:06] It's been 10 years. They have no idea who fucking killed him. I'm not blowing the end, do they tell you anyway? It's on Prime. On Prime. I'll put it in the schnows. It's great. It's great. It's like a four-part date line. I mean, you're just basically... I've got no new series that are fantastic, so I'm just doing whatever is out there. But... Oh, I got a couple thank yous, too, before I go. Oh, my God. My Do Not Pet the Fluffy Cows. The bison shirt for the tour runs.

[01:34:34] Everyone should be given this shirt when they go into Yosemite. That's funny. Do not... The Fluffy Cows, because they're so stupid. That's from El Dorado, Termite, Shelly and Ward. Thank you. And a Bigfoot stained glass, my window ornament, and a koozie that's very funny. Santa Rosa, Termite, Becky, Termites, Becky and Jeff. I don't know how the Toronto police... So I made my brother... I told my brother and his wife, hey, you guys should watch this.

[01:35:02] He never even heard of Barry or Honey Sherman, which I can't believe the world. He's a global guy. He's worth $6 billion. He's doing generic drugs. He should be in whatever. It's why the costs of those are so cheap. Yes. I remember during COVID going, well, if Barry Sherman was still alive, we'd have a fucking answer. But we don't. My sister-in-law got mad at me. Don't ever make me watch a thing where they don't find out who kills them at the end. I go, sorry. I know that's annoying. It is annoying. Totally agree.

[01:35:32] Yep. But four years later... It's crazy. They released a video of this weird dude walking in front of their house, and he has a clear, very distinct gait with a right leg that kind of... It kind of flips up. Like after my dad had stroke, whatever, his leg would just go... Yep. Like and do weird shit. Four years? Yeah. Toronto's acting like the JonBenet Ramsey cops. Like they've never been to a murder.

[01:36:00] It's bizarre because Toronto is a giant city with at least 5 million people. Like the NYPD. You know, it's huge. Google how many people live in Toronto. How old are all of them? Exactly. Go through every person in the phone book. Which doesn't exist. I live in Toronto. Let's see here. It is 3.5 million people. That's it? Nope. Three. No. Toronto? World population.

[01:36:29] It's the biggest Chinatown outside of China. One a month, eh? What is the population of Toronto? 3.5 million people. Jeez, I thought there was a lot more than that. No. Well, it seemed like it when I walked that day to Chinatown. You thought you met them all? Then I had to walk all the way back. Yeah, there was no Uber then. I mean, population in Canada is only 37 million. I know, but I thought Toronto had 20 of them. We scatter about. Nah, kind of. Not really.

[01:37:00] Drive across it. All right, termites. I will see you in Atlantic City this weekend. One second. What? A lot of questions about your fantasy team. Oh, I haven't even started. What's going on? I haven't started my fantasy team. I can't. I cannot digest all this preseason information. I know you're supposed to. Okay. This is why I finished second in Alaska this year, though. I'm not a prepper. And you really worked hard on it. I did. Once we get going, I'm in. You don't even know what app you're on. Nope. Nope. Don't know that either.

[01:37:28] There's a lot of work to be done before this begins. Yeah, we'll get this together. Yeah, and I just haven't had, I don't know. I've had company. Your new shingles look good. And I knew shingles look good, and Rommel's doing a real good job on painting the back porch. Still going. There's just little things, little projects, little upkeep. Nice. House is getting old. Let's, you know, not let it fall into old people disarray. Since we're at the end, can we just say hi to Setti? Oh, well, I'll cry again. That's okay.

[01:37:57] No, Setti passed away. We're done. The black cat. Yeah. It was very sad. But my saving grace is he had a great three-year ride. He was fun. Yes, and he was old, old, old, old, old. And I had the vet helping me, so don't think, all the animal people don't say I didn't do what, I did everything. But I don't think he could have made it through a winter. No. And he wouldn't come inside. No. No matter what I, oh, he would come in and take a walk and look at shit and then leave. Yeah.

[01:38:26] And if I shut the door, he would go insane. Like, if I shut it to keep him in, he would just go insane. He was an outdoor guy his whole life. And he just passed away peacefully in the woods. Nice. Yeah, nothing horrible. I think it got too hot, honestly, for an old man. It's National Black Cat Day. I know. Love you, Setti. To all those that have black cats. Yeah. And I don't know why people ever thought they were bad luck. They're fun. They're great. Setti's eyes were, he was a vampire. He was like a bat. Just a little black bat.

[01:38:56] And Kato really misses him. Baby Cat could really care less. And Chapo, ambivalent, guy on guy, ambivalent. But there's a new little guy showing up. Oh, boy. Yeah. So maybe that's Setti's sole transplant. What color is he? This happened a few weeks ago, but I couldn't talk about it. He's tabby, like gray, black, tan, all the tabby.

[01:39:25] But he's young and he's very, very friendly. I think he might be someone's pet. He's just taking your green. I just think he's double dipping. I think he's coming over here going, what do you got? What do you got? But he comes to me. Yeah. Like Setti would never do that. Setti was feral, feral. Yeah. Whatever is showing up here for a visit every now and again, I think he's a drop in. I get it. Yeah. He's just cruising the neighborhood, seeing what everybody's got. Seeing if you have a cat door. Can he go in?

[01:39:55] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Cool. Well, congratulations. Have a good life for him. Yep. Good life, Setti. Monday. Announcement. Oh, Monday. Big announcement. Right. It's all the dates. January through June. Yeah. They're already asking me about February of the next, next year. Yeah. It's crazy. That's why I had to go get my 2028 calendar. It's just such a weird question.

[01:40:22] Would you like to go to Omaha in March of 2028? What? Sure. Yeah. Well, you have to answer because you know who's always going to be on my ass? Vince Gill and Amy Grant. They're going to take every theater if you don't do it. If I don't do it, somebody else is going to grab it. Totally. So it's like calling the front seat. You got to say, yes, yes, yes, I'll go. I'll go on the trip. But you don't know where your dad's driving you to. That's what's fucking weird. Like, I'll go, yeah, I want, I want, I want it. Put me down. Put me down.

[01:40:52] Yeah. Okay. All right. Ready? All right. I'm not too much. Wow.