Finding Captain Cook, Saving TAB Soda, & Deregulated Salad Dressing
Kathleen opens the show drinking a Snow Cat white ale from Cincinnati’s Rhinegeist Brewery, which she drinks to toast and cheer on the Cincinnati Bengals in the upcoming Super Bowl LVI. She tells the Termites about her recent trip to Ponte Vedra, FL with Lewis Black where they spent a few days golfing at TPC Sawgrass, the World Golf Hall of Fame, and their friend Allison’s country club. Kathleen takes a few minutes to discuss the recent announcement that her favorite Fantasy Football quarterback, Tom Brady, is retiring.
“GOOD BAD FOOD”: In her quest for new and delicious not-so-nutritious junk food AND in continuing her search for the best Ranch, Kathleen samples Philadelphia Buffalo Style Whipped Cream Cheese Spread, which she loves and recommends for any Super Bowl party. She moves on to taste Dean’s Deep Fried Dill Pickle Dip, which she really likes but warns of the “pickle potential” and recommends a beer chaser. She finishes her tasting with Fruit Loops Sweethearts Valentine’s Cereal, which she thinks any Valentine would love.
QUEEN’S COURT: Kathleen is excited to report that Queen Dolly has been nominated for the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame.
UPDATES: Kathleen gives updates on Mattress Mack’s Bengals bet for Super Bowl LVI, the Slovakian “AirCar” converts from a car into a small aircraft, Mark Zuckerberg cries over Meta financial losses, the 2 Crystal Cruise ships on the run from repossession were finally seized by authorities, and John McAfee’s body is stuck in a Spanish prison morgue.
KATHLEEN’S OFFICIAL FACEBOOK PAGE: Kathleen is appreciative of all positive fan support, but has had a lot of negative feedback online regarding specific “fan pages” being managed on Facebook. She reminds Termites that she has ABSOLUTELY no involvement in these pages, and asks that her fans only follow her on her official Facebook page for her latest news and to interact with her directly.
“HOLY SHIT THEY FOUND IT”: Kathleen is thrilled to read that rare fish scale bionic armor has recently discovered in a 2,500 year old Chinese burial plot. In Peru, scientists have counted nearly 200 spinal bone-threaded posts in stone tombs in the Chincha Valley, and finally, Captain Cook’s famed Endeavour has possibly been found off the coast of Rhode Island.
ULTRA RARE BLACK TIGER SPOTTING: Kathleen is excited to read that two extremely rare ‘black’ tigers have been captured on film by an amateur photographer in eastern India. The melanistic tiger is rare, on which the black stripes are far more prominent than the Royal Bengal Tiger’s. Kathleen recommends that the Cincinnati Bengals adopt this pattern in their uniforms
FDA DEREGULATES FRENCH DRESSING: Kathleen laughs as she reads an article advising that after more than 70 years, the FDA is dropping its regulation for French dressing. This is a move that only Kathleen’s mom will care about, as she loves throw-back dressing flavors such as French and Russian.
SAVING TAB SODA: Kathleen laughs as she reads an article about a woman who is attempting to motivate the Coca-Cola Company to save TAB soda. The woman began stockpiling cases of Tab in 2020 when Coke first announced that they would eliminate the soft drink, and is mounting a campaign that with the help of fellow diehard fans, they’ll convince Coca-Cola to bring Tab back.
MOCKING CVS RECEIPTS: Kathleen reads an article explaining why CVS Pharmacy receipts are notoriously long.
ICE PANCAKES SURROUND CHICAGO: Kathleen LOVES anything weather-related, and is intrigued to read a news release about the recent occurrence of “ice pancakes” on Lake Michigan. The formations are round flat discs made of ice, common in the Arctic.