The Recovery Journey: The Hell and the Celebration

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Safe Harbors Shining The Light Podcasts where we will shine the light on community issues such as substance use disorder, poverty, homelessness and the stigma that prevents many from getting the help that they need.

[00:00:30] I think today's topic is going to be something that we all have a great deal of interest in.

[00:00:37] And I'm here today with Sarah Blanton, who is co-hosting with me on Shining The Light and we have Melissa Cruz, who is a program coordinator at Integrated Care of Greater Hickory,

[00:00:49] and she's also an alumni of our Greenleaf Transitional Apartments.

[00:00:54] And you're going to hear from both of these ladies in just a few minutes.

[00:00:58] You know, last month we talked about the stigma of addiction, substance use disorder, mental health,

[00:01:05] and we, you know, we just at Safe Harbors, we want to be the four runners to do what we can to reduce the stigma so that more people will come forward.

[00:01:16] Today we're going to carry that on but we're going to talk about recovery and we're going to talk about the journey of recovery.

[00:01:24] In fact, I have a quote that I want to, it was really the definition of recovery that I thought was really good that I wanted to kind of start us with today.

[00:01:33] And the definition says recovery is characterized by continual growth and improvement and one's health and wellness while managing setbacks,

[00:01:45] which are a natural part of life.

[00:01:48] The other message that we really want to get across today is recovery is possible and another statement that I took from the SAMHSA website said that with a whole health approach,

[00:02:00] recovery is real impossible for all of those impacted by mental health and substance use conditions.

[00:02:08] And I think what we want to do today is give hope that recovery is possible at Safe Harbors, which we now are entering our 20th year of serving women.

[00:02:22] We're excited about that.

[00:02:24] However, our recovery program is called Whole Woman and we did that intentionally because we know it is the whole woman that has to heal.

[00:02:34] And so we offer counseling for the emotional piece of a woman.

[00:02:41] We offer physical opportunities. We're so grateful for the YMCA for letting our women work out there as part of that physical piece of the whole woman.

[00:02:53] And then the spiritual component with discipleship and helping women to understand who they are in Christ and that the power that they have is within that for recovery.

[00:03:07] Sarah, whom I learned so much from about recovery, Sarah now is our director of development.

[00:03:15] But she was our program director and before that, she worked in the recovery field at her very young age. She's also a certified recovery coach.

[00:03:24] So, Sarah, I'm going to let you kick us off today. And like I'd like for you to address that person that's contemplating recovery or that family member that won't so bad for their loved one to find themselves in recovery.

[00:03:41] And then I'll let you lead us into Melissa.

[00:03:44] Sure. So, you know, when you talk about a disease model of addiction, when you say a disease model, you're really acknowledging that there is a medical component to it.

[00:03:57] And so what I have experienced and what I have witnessed is substance use being a disease of the brain and a disease of the soul.

[00:04:09] And so, if you have an opportunity to check out a video, there's a great video called Nuggets and you can access that on YouTube.

[00:04:20] It's about five minutes long but it really, if you're a visual person, it's a wonderful video to kind of look at the progression of addiction.

[00:04:29] And I think if you are in the field or you are interested in coming alongside of those struggling in substance use, it's important to understand that progression.

[00:04:41] And I think it's important to understand the pit that it is. I mean really, it is the closest thing to Hill on Earth that I have witnessed people experience.

[00:04:55] It is heartbreaking. And so I think, you know, they call them the stages of changes of change model and addiction, the addiction of recovery world.

[00:05:06] And so that, if you're pre-contemplative, you're still in that denial and here's the reality. In 2021, 94% of people aged 12 and up that have a substance use disorder did not receive any treatment.

[00:05:25] Now, there's reasons for that. And stigma is the main one. It's not due to a lack of treatment providers. It's not due because treatment is ineffective.

[00:05:35] It's because of stigma but it's also because people don't realize that they have a problem. And so it's hard I think as a family member to see essentially your loved one breaking down.

[00:05:48] And what that nuggets video I think shows really well is just the lights go out. The lights go out in every way possible.

[00:06:00] You are just in what we often, at Safe Harbor says, that spirit of desolation. You are just empty inside.

[00:06:11] You know that you don't want this life. You don't want this life, but you have no idea what to do. And even when there are hands that are reaching out to you and people all for options, it's like because of that emptiness, there's...

[00:06:30] It's like you don't know how to put the first foot forward. So Melissa, I know that you've now as a working professional, you are experiencing watching the breaking down essentially of individuals as they're really struggling in that early contemplative stage of recovery but you also know from a personal level.

[00:06:52] So can you talk a little about that, about again just that essentially breaking down point?

[00:07:00] I do want to say that I love the video you're referring to. I send it to my dad and to my mom when I saw it the first time because that's really for someone that didn't experience addiction, the best display of what that's like for us.

[00:07:15] So I'm glad that you're a fan of that too. For me, I spent 22 years in active addiction the first 10, I was a functioning addict so I held down a job, I took care of my kid, I had a place to live and so I didn't have a problem because I was still doing what I was supposed to be doing.

[00:07:38] So it took a lot for me to admit because I had kept it such a secret for so long that I couldn't let that front down to accept help or to ask for help.

[00:07:53] So that was the biggest thing for me. So I stayed alone and I stayed desperate and I stayed miserable. My biggest fear was that my life was going to be the same in another year, that I would still be living in this little one room of a trailer with two kids no job, no way out that it was just going to keep repeating itself.

[00:08:14] And I think it was that fear that actually drove me to do something about it but it was, but I just could stop.

[00:08:22] You know, I was so alone like it felt like it was me against the world all the time even with these two babies in my arms.

[00:08:31] I felt like it was just me against everything and everybody else and there was nobody on my side mainly because I wasn't honest about what my side was.

[00:08:42] But I was too afraid to let anybody in to know the whole truth because what were they going to think of me?

[00:08:49] Were they going to judge me? Were they going to take these kids too? I'd already lost two earlier in my life so that's a lot of what kept me from admitting that I had a problem

[00:09:00] is that it was going to happen again. And if I lost these two, what was the point of trying anymore?

[00:09:05] I think I would have gave up at that point. Melissa, what was your, was there a breaking point like when did you decide I got to change and what was the first thing you did when you decided that and had you tried before?

[00:09:20] That's a bunch of questions, sorry.

[00:09:22] I think there were a few moments of okay, I've got to do something differently.

[00:09:29] I was in court for probation, on probation with a two-year-old that I'm taking care of every day,

[00:09:38] continuing to fail my drug screens and six months pregnant.

[00:09:43] And the judge looked at me and said, you're the difference between that baby being the janitor or president

[00:09:48] and it just kicked me in the gut. I thought, oh, I've got to do something different.

[00:09:54] And I would try for a little bit. I'd get 20 days or 30 days clean here there but once I was cured I thought I could do a little bit again.

[00:10:06] Self-sabotage is a real thing. I remember one time I celebrated hitting 30 days by going to get drugs.

[00:10:14] That's my reward.

[00:10:16] It perplexes me, self-sabotage but we hit on shame, unhealthy shame.

[00:10:25] We hit on that really hard at Safe Harbor and I would imagine that many, many people struggle with worth.

[00:10:33] Nobody wants to have that life, nobody.

[00:10:38] But what we know about the brain, we talked a little bit about that in the first episode.

[00:10:44] You know, substance is essentially hijack the survival hierarchy in our brains.

[00:10:51] And our brains are like, you need that. You need that.

[00:10:57] You feel pain, you feel alone, you feel love, you feel happy, you feel nothing.

[00:11:03] You need it for everything. It just takes over.

[00:11:07] And so as much as people want, they see like we can paint a beautiful picture, look at what your life can be.

[00:11:15] Your brain kicks in and reminds you. This is what you need but then we also, from a spiritual perspective, have an enemy that says this is what you deserve.

[00:11:27] And so it's this again, a disease of the brain, a disease of the soul.

[00:11:32] Yeah, and you know I referenced in my recovery, I referenced my disease, that disease but on the same form to me, that's a demon.

[00:11:41] Like that's, it got me so far away from God in my purpose that I truly feel that disease is a spirit fighting me.

[00:11:49] And even without the substances, I have to be careful that those, that that disease doesn't come after me in other ways and I'll obsess and be you know.

[00:11:59] Just get a little crazy headed about normal things, shopping, eating, coffee, I can turn anything into a problem.

[00:12:06] What's not logical? I mean it's just nonsensical.

[00:12:10] I mean and that is what happens when our brain is hijacked like that. You know, there is nothing about addiction that makes sense.

[00:12:19] I mean I try to encourage families, you'll drive yourself crazy seeking to understand it.

[00:12:24] It's just again when our brains are just wired, the entire process for our whole woman participants is that year allows them to recreate.

[00:12:39] They recreate new paths in their brain. And so at the very beginning, you're still in that fight or flight.

[00:12:46] Oh yeah. And you're still in survival mode. It takes at least a year to be a baby. Like you're going to be a baby in recovery and then you're a toddler and then your child and then your teenager and eventually I guess you get to be an adult.

[00:12:59] I've got there yet, but it's in these stages of what you're able to take on and what you're able to process in your recovery.

[00:13:09] But I will really give it to you in phases so it's not going to be if you're doing the right things, it's not going to be all at one time.

[00:13:17] It's going to come and and phases.

[00:13:20] And I think that's what Sarah keeps saying to me and what I've learned is recovery is a journey.

[00:13:27] And I was thinking Sarah about those pathways in our brain and what we've learned, how substances will change those pathways.

[00:13:35] And I love it because science and scripture go together as Paul tells us that we have to renew our mind.

[00:13:43] And that's what happens in that year that our whole our women are in a woman is their mind is being renewed. They're changing those pathways in their brain as we all need to do.

[00:13:55] A lot of us have habits right that we need to retrain that pathway. So Melissa when you came to that point and you realized what that judge said, what was your next step?

[00:14:09] Well maybe in me, I still avoided the truth for another like six to nine months I think.

[00:14:15] And then I had a moment where I put my kids in a really bad situation, I got them out of the bed in the middle of the night to go obtain drugs.

[00:14:24] And that was probably my like okay this is bad.

[00:14:29] Like all it would take is you're not using a turn signal and getting pulled over and they're going to call DSS on the spot and it's all done.

[00:14:36] You're going to go back to prison. You're going to get kicked out of the house again like it was all but I could not stop myself from doing these stupid things.

[00:14:46] But I did have a moment where my my friend who had been with me since we were like 2021 and you know I'm in my late 30s at this point she stuck by me through everything.

[00:14:56] She told me about this place called Safe Harbor and I immediately went to YouTube and I don't even know if you guys have the video anymore but it was a really moving video for me at that point in my life.

[00:15:09] And I just wept the whole time I just cried and I was like, that's what I want. I want that healing.

[00:15:15] I want that relationship with God again.

[00:15:17] I want that like joy that's in their eyes when they speak.

[00:15:24] So that was kind of when I set myself on a mission to find out what a different life would look like.

[00:15:30] Okay and then from there what did you do?

[00:15:33] I just want I know there's people that are going to be listening to this and they're like, I get it. I'm where she is.

[00:15:40] I just don't know what to do.

[00:15:42] Well my first move was signing up for a class with you guys.

[00:15:45] Okay.

[00:15:46] Because you addressed one of my huge biggest barriers which was child care because I had a six month old in the two year old.

[00:15:54] I couldn't do anything. I didn't have child care, I didn't have a coparent you know it was just me and these babies.

[00:16:00] But you guys are all for child care.

[00:16:02] So that was a huge thing for me that I could take a class to better myself to find out more about me and strengthen my relationship with the Lord

[00:16:10] and my babies were going to be okay.

[00:16:12] So I took the safe people boundaries class.

[00:16:17] And I got a little book, I had homework, I was so excited.

[00:16:20] And you all took care of my babies for me that was huge to me.

[00:16:23] I didn't last very long before there was another relapse.

[00:16:27] That was the 30 days I celebrated was actually when I was in that process with you guys.

[00:16:32] But it turned the light on that there could be something different and that I could start maybe doing things a different way.

[00:16:40] I was in court ordered IOP the three day a week drug class is what we called them.

[00:16:49] And I couldn't pass my drug tests for them.

[00:16:53] And they were like, we're going to put you in five day a week and I'm like, I'm barely making it a three.

[00:16:57] That's not going to help.

[00:16:59] But I finally said, okay, what about this treatment thing that Judge talked about?

[00:17:04] Why don't we do that?

[00:17:05] And it was a treatment option where again I could take my children with me.

[00:17:09] So it took that barrier out of there if I had to sign over custody or lose custody of these kids in order to get treatment, I would have never got help.

[00:17:17] You know, I think Sarah you talk all the time about it being person centered.

[00:17:21] Yes.

[00:17:22] And that is a really good reason why not every woman fits our whole woman your own program, right?

[00:17:29] Right.

[00:17:30] Right.

[00:17:31] Yeah.

[00:17:32] I really wanted to though.

[00:17:34] But you know, that but you do have other programs that are perfect for those phases that God will move you in.

[00:17:43] So I went to where I was court order to in Charlotte.

[00:17:46] I went to cascades for treatment.

[00:17:48] I had two little babies by my side.

[00:17:51] I did that for almost a year and they had women and children and pregnant women.

[00:17:55] Yeah.

[00:17:56] That's mainly what that's their focus.

[00:17:59] And it's an amazing program.

[00:18:01] It's again in phases you go from five days a week for six months down to three days a week.

[00:18:07] And it was a whole woman like the whole person centered.

[00:18:11] Like they made sure we made doctor's appointments.

[00:18:13] They made sure that we were eating healthy.

[00:18:15] They made sure that we knew about exercise options.

[00:18:18] They made sure that we had job seeking skills.

[00:18:21] They even addressed our clothing like you know in the beginning it's okay to wear a sweatsuit or a cute outfit.

[00:18:30] But as you move up, you need to start dressing like you're going to work and by the end of it you need to look like a lady.

[00:18:36] And they really find it so interesting looking back how they made sure all those aspects of being a woman

[00:18:43] were taking care of because for me personally, I mean I love my mom but I didn't know how to be a girl or how to be a woman.

[00:18:51] So being taught that how to clean your house on Saturday morning, how to lift up the top of your stove and clean,

[00:18:57] how to get your kids ready on time.

[00:18:59] All these things were, I learned everything.

[00:19:03] I learned all of it all over again and learned my worth.

[00:19:06] And that's when I stopped putting myself in that situation.

[00:19:11] Because you do have to learn your worth before you.

[00:19:14] Yeah and from a cognitive behavioral therapy standpoint, people, you have to experience the benefit of the change

[00:19:24] before you continue to do the changing.

[00:19:27] And so people will experience those first few days and it's great.

[00:19:34] And that's a miracle, I mean that's what anybody that is listening but is struggling if you have one day, one minute,

[00:19:43] one second of sobriety, that's a miracle.

[00:19:46] And you need to hold on to that but I think in my experience, people dip their toe in treatment and recovery at time or two.

[00:19:57] But sometimes it takes that because again you're peeling back those layers and a long-term program allows professionals to build relationships with people, those relationships

[00:20:14] in that empathy, in that understanding really helps create that intrinsic motivation in people.

[00:20:25] Because you can't make anybody do anything and that's what I think it's hard for mom if they had a daughter or a son.

[00:20:35] You can't make them do anything.

[00:20:37] And so you know, the list I talk about, you know, that wonderful program that you were in when it was wrapping up and it was time to transition.

[00:20:48] What was that process like?

[00:20:51] I'll admit, I was really blessed and lucky.

[00:20:55] I knew about halfway through my 10 months there that I wanted to come to Hickory and go to Safe Harbor.

[00:21:01] Like that, I made up my mind.

[00:21:03] I claimed that and I was making that happen.

[00:21:05] Were you from Hickory?

[00:21:06] No.

[00:21:07] I was from Gaston and Lincoln counties.

[00:21:10] Treatment was in Charlotte and my oldest child has lived in Hickory for about 10 years but she's out on her own.

[00:21:18] I knew there was strong recovery here.

[00:21:20] I knew there was job opportunities here.

[00:21:24] So I just took a chance and started all over.

[00:21:27] Okay.

[00:21:28] So I interrupted you.

[00:21:29] Did you, you learned about our transitional program and you applied for it?

[00:21:33] I did.

[00:21:34] I, um, Shari Rogers was actually my facilitator for safe people.

[00:21:39] And so I still had her email and I reached out to her and I was like, hey, do you guys have anything for somebody like me?

[00:21:47] And she told me about Greenleaf.

[00:21:49] I want everybody to remember that they might not have picked up on that.

[00:21:52] Safe people was the class that you came to Safe Harbor and took.

[00:21:56] You met Shari there who was the transitional manager.

[00:22:01] So even then, that was a step towards your recovery.

[00:22:05] And as I hear Sarah teaching me that journey led you to cascades that led you full circle back to Safe Harbor

[00:22:13] and then pick up from there.

[00:22:15] So you called Shari.

[00:22:17] She worked with me.

[00:22:18] We did a lot of virtual and email stuff setting it up because I, in my recovery, I tend to be very proactive.

[00:22:26] So I had about six months to go before my graduation when I started this communication.

[00:22:33] But I do know that some of the other ladies did struggle a lot with not having aftercare or a plan for what to do.

[00:22:41] So I do know that I'm very blessed in the way that my story went, the way my journey went.

[00:22:46] I think they've changed some things up there now and they actually have another year that you can stay in the apartments.

[00:22:53] It's not in treatment.

[00:22:55] So there it's, I'm glad that they saw that that was a struggle for us.

[00:22:59] I'm grateful for that too. That transition.

[00:23:02] You can't have enough emphasis on that in a recovery program.

[00:23:07] It's so essential and that's why, you know, inpatient programs, 30 day, 28 day, 90 day, whatever.

[00:23:17] It's great to get stabilized but that's when the work just starts.

[00:23:24] Yeah, it just starts and that's just to get a little clear handed.

[00:23:27] That's just to gain some clarity.

[00:23:29] But then, you know, being able to implement those recovery tools and because you have a new reality and how to function within that reality can be very challenging.

[00:23:44] And it can be very lonely.

[00:23:47] Yeah.

[00:23:49] You know, my life when I was using was chaotic and it was full of toxic friendships and relationships and situations and dynamics.

[00:23:58] Even between my parents and I, they weren't healthy relationships.

[00:24:04] And then you take the drugs and alcohol out of that and the people go with it and you're just kind of left standing by yourself wondering, okay, what do I do now?

[00:24:15] Like the people I would normally call when I'm going through something.

[00:24:18] And I can't call all or I know I'm going to use the word they don't want to talk to me because I got clean or yeah, it's very.

[00:24:27] You really learn that when it comes down to it, it's you and God and that's what you can count on and you start to build.

[00:24:35] You start to build that relationship and it makes you a lot stronger.

[00:24:40] Melissa, I really mean this.

[00:24:42] You are a hero in my eyes.

[00:24:45] You know, that is such a hard thing to overcome and then to move to a new city with two children, single mom.

[00:24:55] What was that like?

[00:24:57] I was terrified to leave treatment.

[00:25:02] I was like, can I just, can I just, you know, but I was excited for whatever was going to happen.

[00:25:12] I wasn't really sure and I had lots of obsessive daydreams and about what is the apartment going to look like?

[00:25:20] What is this going to be like? What am I going to do?

[00:25:22] All that overthinking that I tend to do.

[00:25:25] And then it was so interesting.

[00:25:28] I was excited to do my apartment and Greenleaf and the silliest prayers were answered.

[00:25:33] I used to watch these YouTube videos in my early recovery and even in my addiction where these moms would get up to clean their house and they would push their drapes to the side and let the sun shine in and my apartment had drapes.

[00:25:45] I loved how it was so excited for the curtains in this apartment that I could pull them apart and let the sun shine in in the mornings.

[00:25:52] Every prayer was answered and every need was met in that apartment.

[00:25:56] I had never stayed somewhere so nice in my life.

[00:26:01] I went from a state-run facility where every furniture was the same color, the layout or the apartments were the same.

[00:26:11] It was not homey.

[00:26:14] It served its purpose, but the Greenleaf was just gorgeous.

[00:26:19] It was decorated and there were cups in the cabinets and detergent in the laundry.

[00:26:25] Everything was taken care of. It was really amazing.

[00:26:28] That was when I first learned of safe harbor.

[00:26:30] That's what really impressed me was our founder Debbie Haines.

[00:26:34] She wanted the women so bad to know their worth.

[00:26:38] She treated everyone from those that were experiencing homelessness to the new house we got for the whole woman program

[00:26:46] that everyone's treated with dignity and worth.

[00:26:50] That carried over.

[00:26:52] We're grateful to our supporters, our donors, our volunteers for making Greenleaf beautiful like you've experienced there.

[00:27:00] It was amazing.

[00:27:02] What are your in recovery?

[00:27:05] Are there still triggers that you have to be on alert for?

[00:27:10] Absolutely.

[00:27:12] We laugh about this story now but I'm an integrated care of Grader Hickory and I started out at the front desk, answering phones, filing papers, her about my first year there.

[00:27:25] We were moving offices at one point and we needed to pack everything up.

[00:27:31] My manager at the time said, we'll just go to the liquor store and get boxes and I thought I cannot go in the liquor store.

[00:27:38] First of all, I don't want my kids seeing liquor boxes but I cannot walk into the liquor store.

[00:27:44] Even today at almost five years clean, I don't eat in restaurants where there's a bar because...

[00:27:49] That's what I'm looking for is that you still have to use such recovery tools.

[00:27:54] Absolutely.

[00:27:56] You can't go in a restaurant but you choose not to.

[00:28:00] I choose not to because I mean, I'm still terrified of alcohol.

[00:28:04] I can't imagine that I would ever get a substance but alcohol is everywhere.

[00:28:11] I can't go to the gas station.

[00:28:13] I pay at the pump so I don't have to go inside and yeah, I just like to avoid it if it all possible.

[00:28:19] It's still scary for me.

[00:28:21] I think it's wisdom.

[00:28:23] You have to be... it's that expression you need to be smart, not strong.

[00:28:28] Wheel power is not a solution for substance use.

[00:28:33] No, it never was.

[00:28:36] You can't control that part of your brain that says, that's a good idea.

[00:28:41] You should do that right now.

[00:28:43] I even still at work five years in and I work in recovery but there's those days where things are stressful.

[00:28:50] I'm like, oh one pill would make this easier.

[00:28:52] Oh one glass of wine after work would make this okay.

[00:28:55] And you're like, what are you talking about?

[00:28:57] How do you talk to yourself in a time like that?

[00:29:00] Not very nicely.

[00:29:02] I have to remind myself how far I've come.

[00:29:06] It's always a big deal to me that I would have to start my clean time over.

[00:29:10] That's one thing that'll snap me back and then just play in that tape all the way through.

[00:29:15] Okay.

[00:29:16] Smart guy.

[00:29:17] What would it look like if you did that?

[00:29:19] Oh my god.

[00:29:20] You can't come to work hungover.

[00:29:22] You can't come in here.

[00:29:23] They'll definitely know you're going to lose your job, your house, your kids.

[00:29:27] It will all be gone within a week.

[00:29:29] I just nicely remind myself of those things.

[00:29:32] Do you have an accountability person?

[00:29:34] I have a sponsor.

[00:29:36] My family and my parents and I have really...

[00:29:41] I'm not even going to say rebuilt a relationship because the relationship that we have today

[00:29:47] is nothing like we ever had before.

[00:29:49] It's my mom and I had a very toxic relationship.

[00:29:52] We live together and it was not good, but today she's my best friend.

[00:29:55] Oh, that's beautiful.

[00:29:57] So my parents deal though.

[00:29:59] It's five years in.

[00:30:00] Keep a close eye on me.

[00:30:02] There's been times that my dad couldn't reach me on the phone because I'm taking a nap or something.

[00:30:07] And he gets ready and gets in his car and comes to Hickory to make sure I'm okay.

[00:30:12] I make sure to check in with them on a regular basis so that their minds don't wander

[00:30:17] so that I can keep them reassured that everything's alright.

[00:30:20] Oh, I'm sure that means so much to them.

[00:30:23] Well, they're faith in me at this point.

[00:30:26] They're trusting me that they've allowed to happen.

[00:30:29] Yeah.

[00:30:30] Means the world to me and I don't want to do anything to break that again.

[00:30:33] Right.

[00:30:34] Gosh, I hate to end this time.

[00:30:36] This is so good.

[00:30:37] I want to ask you both.

[00:30:40] Think of the person that may be listening.

[00:30:43] Maybe they're desiring.

[00:30:45] They're in the throes of their addiction.

[00:30:47] They're desiring the life that you're speaking of.

[00:30:50] What do you want to say to that person right now?

[00:30:54] I would say, I know you're lost and I know you're scared and I know you're alone.

[00:30:59] But I promise you, if you take this chance on yourself, there's a life waiting on you that will blow your mind.

[00:31:06] And I'm amazed every day I get to live this life and had I not taken the chance to do this.

[00:31:13] I would never, I would never get to live this.

[00:31:17] And just to end note with Melissa was nominated and approved to be the peer advocate

[00:31:25] to Safe Harpers Board of Directors and we're so thrilled to have you on there.

[00:31:29] Yes, I'm really excited to be on this team.

[00:31:33] That's great.

[00:31:34] And Sarah, so much wisdom from my friend Sarah.

[00:31:38] Sarah is not only are you compassionate to every person that's struggling.

[00:31:43] You're such a strong advocate for recovery.

[00:31:46] So what do you want to say to that person today that needs that wants of a life like Melissa's?

[00:31:53] Well, I would say that it's recovery is very accessible because of that.

[00:32:01] Because see, and because of people like you Melissa that make the decision to work in the field.

[00:32:08] Recovery is very accessible and especially you had mentioned that our community there's a lot of recovery here.

[00:32:15] And I'm telling you what this is a thriving recovery community.

[00:32:18] There is a 12 step meeting nearly every hour of every day.

[00:32:23] I promise you if you walk into the rooms and you let it be known that you're early in recovery

[00:32:29] and that you need a sponsor, you will not walk out of that room without a list full of phone numbers.

[00:32:37] It's I have never experienced people loving one another as well as I've experienced

[00:32:44] in the 12 step communities here in Kataba County.

[00:32:48] And I mean that.

[00:32:50] Yeah, thank you both.

[00:32:51] And guys, thank you so much for joining us today.

[00:32:55] I ask that if you know someone that's struggling and you think this would help them please share it.

[00:33:01] That's why we're here.

[00:33:03] We just want to help those come forward to get the help.

[00:33:07] We're tired of overdose deaths.

[00:33:09] We're tired of people not living their life so full of us.

[00:33:12] So help us help them.

[00:33:14] And thanks again for joining us today.

[00:33:20] Thank you.