Episode 288: Surviving the Iowa Basics Test, Stolen PBR, & Fantasy Football Season Begins

[00:00:12] [SPEAKER_03] Termites, welcome. Welcome to Episode 288. Oh my God, there's so much. The world's finally waking up after summertime. There's football, there's college football, there's pro football, the US Open, influencers, so much good mail from you guys. Influencers. They're everywhere. Well, the influencers are, the hammer's coming down.

[00:00:32] [SPEAKER_05] Really? Yep. Thank God.

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_03] And it's about goddamn time. If the Masters can do it, well, they've kind of messed that up too, but we'll talk about that.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_06] We're still meeting about that. The Masters.

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_03] Well, the people meeting are probably 92.

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_06] Mm-hmm.

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_03] And they're getting their little green jackets on and flying down to Augusta. But my goddaughter's in the Amphibus. Right. Well, I mean, right. The children love it. We're supposed to be progressive. Hero. What are we drinking? 417 Lager from where? Springfield, Missouri. Yes, the Springfield Brewing Company. Nice. It's a wonderful little can. Cool. It's got the whole, all the little stops you can make.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_03] Springfield is where you would fly into if you want to go to Tiger Woods' course, Big Cedar Lodge, part of that, and that gulf. And it's also Table Rock Lake and Branson, Missouri, which is where I flew in last weekend to go to the Ozarks.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_06] How's the airport?

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_03] Which is two hours away. The airport is wonderful. The only problem is, because it's small, if your flight doesn't go, you could be stuck there for a very long time. Yeah. That's fun. My dad used to do it in and out for work sometimes, and I'm like, oh, kind of dicey. You better hope the weather's perfect. But they have a Route 66 thing on there and big statue thing I took a picture with. I saw that. Because it's Route 66, Route 66, however you want to say it. Route, Route?

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_03] I don't even know what's right.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_06] Route.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_03] Route? Yeah. I should say Route. Where I'm from. Not Route. Right.

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_06] Oh.

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_03] Route. Route.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_06] Route is also.

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_03] Take the other route, though. If I was saying take that route, but if I say the name of it like a noun, I'd say Route. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. The famous one.

[00:02:15] Yeah.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_03] So that's what we're drinking. I'm also drinking a Bloody Mary, because today I'm trying to regroup. There's a lot of drinking at the Ozarks.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_06] A lot of cousins. Like a lot.

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_03] I tried to start my regrouping yesterday. Calm down a little bit.

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_06] How'd it go?

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_03] Good. Good. Good. I watched a bunch of Nashvilles in a row. I can't believe there's seven seasons. I can't believe that girl's dead. Oh, the show. The show Nashville. Yeah. It got moved, because they're like, just when I found it, they're like, this will be going away soon.

[00:02:44] What?

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_03] There's seven seasons or some shit. I won't. Yeah. Well, I found it. You can buy it. So I did.

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_06] Who is Hayden Penetier?

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_03] Exactly. Now I know. And I'm like, that's so sad. That young person is gone. That's terrible. She was a great little actor.

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_06] Yeah.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Very convincing. Very much like Ruthie in Ozarks.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_01] I'm going to fucking kill you. So help me God. Totally.

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_03] Totally.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_01] What are we eating?

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_03] Well, my nephew, Xavier, brought me old Vienna of St. Louis red hot kettle chips. Oops. Sorry. My bad. It's a big bad. It's a big bad. And what's weird is I was born and raised in St. Louis, and I've never seen these. And these are good until January of 2027. These are covered in St. Louis barbecue sauce. What does that mean? It would be like red sauce, hot sauce. This is hot. Oh, they're really good. Nice.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_03] Trying to play off St. Louis barbecue. Oh, they're made in Fenton, Missouri. My God. I lived in House Springs.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_06] Nice.

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_03] Which was just the next town. And then after Fenton, it was what? Six Flags. Wah. Who didn't love a Six Flags? My mom. It's the only thing they've ever done that was proactive, but really, because there were too many of us.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_03] She bought us season passes, and she would drop us off.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_07] Okay.

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. As a great babysitter. Mm-hmm. At nine in the morning, and return at like five at night.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_06] Oh.

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. We were given, you could take a lunch bag in there back in the old days. Nice. And-

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, it is a babysitter then.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_03] At like $5. There's no idea where we're at. I was like 11. 11. Here you go. 12. Uh-huh. 13 at the most. Wow. Yeah. We all went. See you later, Gator. She just kicked us right out of that green maverick as fast as she could and drove off.

[00:04:39] Green maverick.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_03] What are we tasting here? Firecracker gummy bears. Whoa. Whoa. From Tular, California, Turmets, Lacey and Amanda. Albany's world's best. Gummies not shown as actual size. Actually, they are. Look at that. Touchy. Careful if you have crowns. They might have melted. Oh. In transit. Oh. All of them. Now they hit.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_06] There's the fire?

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_06] Of the firecracker? Fire! Fire! That needs a beer chaser.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_03] Oh my God. Yes, they're hot. But if you were on a diet, though, just eat one or two of these and you're fine. Holy shit. Oreo. These, they're like Keebler elves. The Oreo people. They're so busy. Now they've created apple pie a la mode. This is from Omaha, Termites, Josh and Angela. I could smell it when I opened it. It's so sweet. 150 calories. Okay. Apple pie. Jesus.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_03] Do they have Monday morning meetings every week at Oreo and go, what flavor are we creating this week? Did anybody think of anything over the weekend? Holy shit.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_06] They might be the new Lays.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_06] We're getting different Oreos every week. I think if you love. Does it taste like America? Apple pie.

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_03] Mirka. Mirka. With an apostrophe in the front. Right, I'm sorry. Mirka. They're very good. They taste like dessert. But I think if I had a bunch of these in a row, not sure I'd be able to tell you which was which. These are good, though. Well done, Oreo. I don't dislike them. And sometimes if it's too sweet, I freak out. They're great. Okay. Good. Now, let's set these aside. Shows. Where am I going? Well.

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_06] Here we go.

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_03] Man, this weekend, San Antonio. And it's Friday? Austin, Saturday. September 18th. Tarrytown. 19th. San Antonio. I'm very excited because even though it's going to be 150 degrees, I may go to the zoo very early in the morning.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_06] Nice.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah, and meet some armadillos.

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_06] You're a zoo fan.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_03] Not that I, you probably don't. Well, yeah, I'm a zoo fan of anywhere. I compare zoos and nobody knows, nobody would understand because you'd have to go to each of the zoos. When I say, look, St. Louis, San Diego, Omaha's gorilla habitat. These are the highlights. You wouldn't know if you grew up in your town and you think all zoos are like that. True. I thought all zoos, like my zoo in St. Louis, had zookeeper Marlon Perkins for 25 years.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_06] That's a mic drop.

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_03] It's a total mic drop. Yeah. It's one of my first jokes on open mic night. I'd say, is anybody from not, not from here? And somebody would always clap. And I'm like, then you should go to our zoo. Our zoo is so great. I would put it up against Africa. That's how good our zoo is.

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_06] The continent.

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_03] Yep. Wow. All right. And it's free. Boom. And then I went to Kansas City when I was young, like after starting comedy and I went to their zoo and it was like, I don't remember at the time, but I know there was like a charge of like, what? Like 18 bucks compared to free.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_06] Compared to free. Yeah.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. September 18th, Tarrytown. September 19th, Hershey. Pennsylvania. Can't wait. Madison, Wisconsin. You're up on the 25th. I may, may cruise from Madison to Milwaukee the night before to go to what? This bar. Wolskies.

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, is that the one you told me about?

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. It's like, it's like one of the oldest bars. Fun. In Milwaukee. And I don't know how I've missed it. Strip 1908. Prior Lake, Minnesota. That's the casino gig. October 10th. The Ryman National, which is featured a lot in the show Nashville. It's wonderful. I know. And I think that's so weird. I'll be working there.

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_06] We just released some tickets there.

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_03] Okay, good. October 16th, Hampton Beach. Can't wait to go there in October. I've only been when it's been very, very hot in the summer. The 17th, Foxwoods. 22nd. Myetta, Kansas. Never been. October 24th. Hollywood Casino, Charlestown, West Virginia. Myetta's outside of Topeka, correct? It is. Yes, I looked it up. I think some of my relatives might be making that trek up there. Fun? Yeah, it'll be fun. Super fun. They'll go to any casino gig.

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_03] You just have to slightly mention it. They're like, well, where's that? I've never heard of that. I'm totally going. Do they have Wheel of Fortune? Mm-hmm. Do you need to sign up for a player's card? Yes. Yep. Mm-hmm. Always get the player's card. Well, then they always go, well, are they associated with any other major conglomerate? Because I have points for free rooms everywhere in America. You know what? Google it. I don't know who they're owned by. I don't know.

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_06] The check can't just.

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_03] I don't ask who they're. Hey, who are they? What casino is this owned by?

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_06] Hi, baby cat.

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_03] Hi. Oh, she's so. She was so mad. She's still pissed off because I was gone.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_01] She's very vocal today.

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_03] No. When I got in the front door. Oh, my God.

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_01] Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_03] Just a huge yelling at. I'm like, I get it. I get it. You're upset. 2027. All the shows are on sale. Here's where second shows have been added. Fort Lauderdale. St. Petersburg. Huntington, New York and Napa. Yep. Those are on sale now. Yep. Is the second Fort Lauderdale one on sale too? Goes up today. Okay. The other ones are. Yep. Okay, great. Go to your website. Go to my website.

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_06] Not another website.

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_03] I know. Sometimes I think it's older people and I am one of the older people. The team email. 99%. Everybody's smart and funny. But I think the old people are going on weird sites. It's also drunk people. Well, that's fine. Get overstimulated. Go to the wrong site. They're going to the wrong site or whatever. Some guys said, why are you charging $600 for parking? Here's the thing. Parking for the Super Bowl wasn't even $600.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_03] I don't know what you're looking at. I can't help you out. But I can tell you just to go to my website. Click on that link. And if there's parking available, I don't get that specific. No. That's a more hometown thing. You guys got to figure that. I have nothing to do with it. I don't make any money off parking. It has nothing to do with me. We're repaying the lot. You have $600. What? Imagine. Sir, your ticket to the show is $58. Do you think the parking is really that much? It's real good.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_03] All right. We're moving on in to just some team emails that are either informative or funny. Okay. Clearly, the Iowa Basics test traumatized the entire nation. Yep. Not just Missouri. I wonder how people from Iowa felt. Like, did they think this is just a test for us as a kid? Did you know that you were traumatizing the entire state? Because it was kind of a... You're friends from Iowa. Yeah. I should text... Yeah. Kay. Oh, well, Kay.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_03] But I was thinking of those guys, too. Or Meg. To the... Yeah. Or Garrett. I'll text. Or Steven. Those two gay guys that were so fun.

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_06] Garrett and Steven.

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_03] Is that Garrett and Steven? Okay. Yeah.

[00:11:46] [SPEAKER_06] They're fabulous.

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_03] I fucked up. I was supposed to save them tickets, and I didn't. And I never... Usually, it's a box office. Fuck up. Not on me. This woman's totally on me. So I was like, do you have any interest in just hanging out backstage with me and sitting side stage?

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_06] We're going to drink.

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_03] You don't hear that well, but it's hard to hear. And they were like, that's fine. It's great. That's fine. Can we bring two friends? They're so cute. Go get them. I don't know if I have four folding chairs, but you're young enough to sit on the floor. And it's not to be able to sit on the floor. It's to be able to get back up, as I've learned with old people. Stacey, this is for you Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader fan people. We're going to talk more about the basics. But I guess she said there's an absolutely fascinating documentary floating around called

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_03] Daughters of the Sexual Revolution, The Untold Story of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. It's a must see for anybody who's a fan of the Netflix show, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, America's Sweetheart. This doc says how the cheerleaders came to be and shows us the woman thrown into the job of getting the squad off the ground and all she did for the girls. Oh, wow. It's an hour and 18 minutes. That's great. I'll find it. If you want to go find that, go find that. Put it in the schnotes.

[00:12:54] Hi, baby cat.

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_03] There's a bayou termite. How about LSU and the coach? He causes so many problems.

[00:13:01] [SPEAKER_06] Well, he's your coach now.

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_03] Well, because I want to be an LSU student. Yeah. Or Texas A&M offered me a barbecue major.

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_05] Nice. Yeah.

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_03] This cane was working on a degree in psychology and is done now and wants to thank me for the podcast that I kept it going. That's great.

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_06] Congratulations.

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_03] He's got a suggestion for a saint. Our Lady of Prompt Secours. Secours. I would say secours in French. Although she's not a saint, you'll find her interesting. She's the patroness of Louisiana and New Orleans and has been credited for many miracles over 200 years. Okay. Well, we're going to put this in the saint book. Cool. And go look this person. Well, she's not saint yet. I will Google this person. I clearly did not do that yet. But, um, okay, here's the, oh, wait, I do have some ones from Iowa. This one is so great.

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_03] I grew up in Oregon. This is from Jen. And we took the test in elementary school in the 80s. The test. Yeah. The talented and gifted students, as in quotes, got to play outside while our dumbasses took that test or inside having internal panic attacks. That's so 80s. Oh, the smart ones are finished. You can go outside and play. I'm still back there going. Get your utility ball. 27 divided by 4.8. What the fuck?

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_03] I don't know. Can't I just put, I don't know? God. Approximately. Iowa termite here. The Iowa basics and Iowa development, educational development high school have been changed to the ISAPs now. Iowa statewide assessment of student progress.

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_07] Wow.

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_03] I don't like any of that. They are no longer timed. Timed. You can take as much time as you need. No, us dumb ones want it timed. Right. I want to be done. Right. I don't want to sit here and just dwell on the fact I can't, I maybe can't figure this shit out. Oh, students have to provide short answers to some of the questions that are now required to write a full essay. Well, see, I could do that. I'd give you 50 pages of an essay. What's a full essay? Well, I don't know. It depends on the topic.

[00:15:11] Oh my God.

[00:15:11] [SPEAKER_03] Don't ask a Libra those kind of questions. True. Students don't like them now more, any more now than you did. We get trying, we get to try to convince teenagers to do their best on a test that really doesn't affect them. My guess is you probably wouldn't have minded if the nuns were labeled as need of improvement. Yeah. I got a lot of that. Kathleen needs to improve and talk less. Just in general. Just in general, I should improve and talk less. Just in general.

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_02] That's funny. Okay. That's another one. I'm going to read that one next week.

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_03] This one, I grew up taking the Iowa basics. This is Trisha. She's a retired teacher. You're all traumatized. But my kids took the Missouri assessment programs test starting in third grade. Then in high school, they take the end of course exams. That sounds British. The end of course exam. End of course. Uh-huh. As an Indiana. Oh, this is an Indiana termite. This is from Tracy. I've seen this. Mishawaka, Indiana.

[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_03] I don't know why I know that. That was a show. She's appalled when the Indiana governor, Mike Braun, removed the funds for the Imagination Library. Yeah. As a former English teacher, mother of four, grandmother, I know how important books are. Luckily, Mike Braun's wife decided her husband's decision was bullshit in all caps and worked very hard to provide, to find private funding to continue the Imagination Library. I can attest it's still active today.

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_03] My grandson receives a book every month and will continue to do so until he's five. Great. I'm also a mail carrier. Oh.

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, fantastic.

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_03] And deliver many of those.

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_06] Thank you for your service.

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_03] Thanks for calling Indiana. Missouri and Indiana. My state, your state. Cool. This one is really funny. I'm a Tucson termite. She's also a Tucson teacher. I went to school in Tucson and took the Iowa Basics test through high school, graduating in 1981. At some point in the 90s, Arizona stopped using the Iowa one and switched to a more appropriate Arizona academic standards assessment. The one question I remember from giving the test to my Tucson students was the vocabulary

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_03] question. It was multiple choice. The question was, what is kin? Oh. She said the question stumped every one of my fifth grade students. That's definitely not a Southwestern word. It's a Midwestern word. It's really a Southern word. People from St. Louis or Kansas, well, Kansas maybe. It's a rural word. Is he kin to you? Yeah. Is he? No, it's just a bunch of my kin, but it's usually Southern.

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_03] I would never have said that growing up, but I knew people in Southern Missouri that would, that to this day still would, but Southern Missouri is more Southern, whatever. She said, had they asked the question, what is the definition of a taqueria, sombrera, fiesta? No problem. But kin, that's when I knew the test was unfair to Arizona students. I'm sorry it took so long for Arizona to figure out that a test design in Iowa is not appropriate for students in every other state. That's from Joan.

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_03] Just a couple more. Massachusetts had it.

[00:18:28] Oh my God.

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_03] Please let Kathleen know that Massachusetts also used to have the Iowa basics test. I also, it's bleeding. I also don't care for Iowa for that reason. Oh, she's anti-Iowa. Okay. We're going to save these ones for the next time because that's enough of the mail. Let's do some. They're fun stories. A few Dolly updates because we're not letting that go. Just because she's gone, that's staying there forever. Good.

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_03] Barbara Streisand donated $3 million to Dolly's library. Nice. Which was very nice. Good for her. University of Tennessee did their whole halftime show. Oh my God, I cried again. I know. So did I. I know. When they spelled out Dolly, you're like, oh. Then the whole stadium starts singing Iowa. Oh my God. Oh my God. Let's stick with the upbeat songs for the halftime. I mean, we did it once. That's good. We did it. But it's just too sad. Yeah. Not yet.

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_03] Let's hold off on that. Yeah. Garth Brooks, all kinds of people are declaring nine to five, 925, September 25th as Dolly Day. Cool. At Garth Brooks Bar here. And Trisha's. Right. Well, I go for Trisha's wings, chicken fingers. Oh, and it's a. Everybody knows that. Well, no. Yeah, it's a Friday. What? Oh, 925? Perfect. 925? Okay.

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_03] All the proceeds all day long from Garth Brooks go to the Imagination Library.

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_06] Great.

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_03] Tom Hanks also donated $3 million.

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_06] Awesome.

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. If you haven't seen something awesome, go online and Google Dolly Parton at Glastonbury. And she plays the Benny Hill theme song on a saxophone, a baby saxophone. Like it's a mini one?

[00:20:14] [SPEAKER_06] She played that when we saw her in Atlanta.

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_03] She sure did. She plays every instrument under the sun. It's crazy. That's why I'm like, come on, people. And I was so happy to hear this because sometimes I stumble upon things on the road that I'm like, what is that? And why didn't I stay there? There's a place in California called the Madonna Inn. I don't even know why I was there. Great bar. But I don't know what town was it close to that I was staying in. I remember the town. I get confused in Northern. It was kind of Northern California-y, but it's called the Madonna Inn. It's in San Luis Obispo.

[00:20:45] [SPEAKER_03] But why would I? I don't think I had a gig in San Luis Obispo. You've played San Luis Obispo. Oh, my apologies. San Luis. I can't. I don't know if I'm in Monterey or San Luis Obispo. I don't know. It's all wonderful. You fly in and you drive. Well, that's usually the case. But Dolly Parton was a regular there. That's awesome. For 40 years. Yeah. And I went in the bar. I said, I'm not passing. I couldn't stay because I was already staying somewhere else. But I said, before the show, I'm going in there to have a drink.

[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, it looks like Pepto-Bismol vomited in the bar. It's so pink. It's so crazy. It's awesome. It's so throwback. I guess the rooms are all crazy, too. She liked you get different theme rooms. But glad to hear that. Cool. We're going to do some Queen news. I don't think I have anything else about Dolly. 925, though, all kinds of states are declaring that Dolly Day. I don't know what we're supposed to do, but I'll be off. Well, no, I won't be off. It'll be a Friday. But I'll participate all day long.

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_03] Great. Yeah. Nice. Dolly gets her own section now. I'll be off. Somebody just freaked out the butt tickets. The other Queens. Whoa. Queen Tay Tay. Here you go. Now, this would not be up my alley. I'd rather take the Stevie Nicks one. Okay. University of Calgary. Yes. Just few paddles is offering a celebrity culture courts where students will now explore how fame has evolved over the years. Cool.

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_03] And now see, the course will also look at how AI is changing with the fans interact with celebrities, with students examining examples, including the one and only Taylor Swift. Tay Tay's lyrics, I think you could, like, if you studied them, you could understand what she meant.

[00:22:27] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:28] [SPEAKER_03] Stevie's. She's real smart. I know. Stevie's. She's a lyricist. Still, the thunder only happens when it's raining. I don't even know if that's true. I don't care. The thing about Stevie's, you take them for what they are. Don't think about them too hard because they may not make a whole lot of sense. Why don't you ask your friend Jim Cantore? Or Bree Smith.

[00:22:47] [SPEAKER_06] I could.

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_05] My weather-preferral friends. I'm going to text Jim Cantore. He texts me all the time. Stupid shit. I'm going to text him. I have a question.

[00:22:56] [SPEAKER_03] I was sitting around half drunk on my porch wondering, and thunder only happens when it's raining because sometimes when it's raining, I'm like, no, I've heard thunder before it rains, but it's raining somewhere, probably. Right. So maybe she's right. That's so funny. I don't think you could do a deep dive on Stevie's lyrics and hope to make any headway. No. I think you're not supposed to think about it. She thinks it's poetry, not storytelling. There's a big difference. God.

[00:23:24] [SPEAKER_03] One time I heard Billy Joel, this is like, I liked Billy Joel's old stuff. I didn't like when he met Christy Brinkley and all that got too poppy and weird, but he said, I'm a literal guy. And so when I write a song, there's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin. He goes, there was an old man sitting next to me drinking. It's a gin and tonic. Okay. You switch legs. He said, I listened to bands like America and I'm like, I went through the desert on a horse with no name. It's good to be back out on the way.

[00:23:51] [SPEAKER_03] He goes, I have no idea what they're talking. I'm like, me too. What are we talking about? I get too caught up in what does that mean?

[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_02] Funny.

[00:24:00] [SPEAKER_03] On 925 Day, you're in Madison. Oh, epic.

[00:24:05] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah, you get to have a party.

[00:24:06] [SPEAKER_03] Wow. Yeah. Anywhere in Wisconsin. I'm having a Bloody Mary and a beer back in honor of Wisconsin. I know. You're excited. It's coming up. If you've never been to Wisconsin, sometimes when you order a Bloody Mary, they bring you a free beer and it's just a thing they do. Because I was like, oh, the old, it was a very old lady server. I said, oh, well, thanks for the beer. I didn't need one quite yet. But she goes, oh, they're free. Don't worry. I go, I wasn't talking about the money. I was just, no.

[00:24:33] [SPEAKER_06] We good? Mm-hmm.

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_03] We have to talk about the lake too before I call HollyBobby. How was your Labor Day? The party. Well, hold on. I have a couple more Queen newses. Okay. And then California Queen Cher. Where's Cher? Right there. Over here. Mm-hmm. She has gained conservatorship over her son, Elijah Blue Allman, his finances, after he skips the court hearing. How long are these parents supposed to do this? Well.

[00:25:04] [SPEAKER_03] She's 80, 80 something or 80. He, he, well. But good. She won her case. So now she can give him money instead of what she seemed to think was going on was the girlfriend was taking the money. She's 80. 80. Mm-hmm. So how old is this guy? Google how old is Elijah Blue Allman? Probably 50.

[00:25:34] [SPEAKER_06] 76.

[00:25:35] [SPEAKER_03] Boom. No. No, he's not. That's his dad.

[00:25:38] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, he's long.

[00:25:39] [SPEAKER_03] I know. He's 50.

[00:25:41] Jesus.

[00:25:42] [SPEAKER_03] Mm-hmm. How long are we going to keep him?

[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_06] Well, he gets probably half the money.

[00:25:45] [SPEAKER_03] Her money. When she dies? Mm-hmm. It's between him and Chaz. Probably.

[00:25:53] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know about that.

[00:25:54] [SPEAKER_03] And that, and that. He's been awfully problematic. I don't know if I trust giving him that much money. There's probably a lot of. It's just going to go crazy.

[00:26:02] Yeah.

[00:26:02] [SPEAKER_06] There's probably a lot of things around that.

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Yeah. Queen Stevie, sad times. Her brother died. Her younger brother. He was 72. It's our only sibling. Yeah. Sad times. A lot of loss. A lot of sadness lately. I don't know. We need to clear the air. Let's get some sage going and blow stuff around. Some sage. Yeah. Well, come on. Can't we do something? Some sort of. We got any witch spells or potions or. Nice. Yeah. We need to get rid of. Before I call Holly Bobby. The lake was so fun because it was an engagement party for me.

[00:26:32] [SPEAKER_03] Nephew Sebastian and his partner Lexi. And she's adorable. And we, it was a hundred. So everybody was in the lake or the pool, which was great, great, great. Took a giant boat ride. I met a lot of fabulous Amy's relatives. I'd never met her. Aunt Clyde was so fun. Her daughter, Paige. There's another relative, Laura. Just a million people.

[00:26:54] [SPEAKER_06] Nice.

[00:26:54] [SPEAKER_03] And everybody participated all day.

[00:26:58] [SPEAKER_06] That's cool.

[00:26:59] [SPEAKER_03] It was supposed to start at 530 at night and the tech started coming at 930. Hey, kind of hot. Any chance you care if we just come on over now? Like I woke up like at 8 and I'm like, oh, people are coming in an hour? Shit. I'm not. Because I stayed there. And I'm like, I stayed downstairs with the kids. And I'm like, I'm not prepared. Amy's like, yeah. Oh, yeah. I told anyone they could come early. I'm like, oh. Ruh-roh. Do you have enough beer for all that? Do you have enough alcohol for all that?

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER_03] That's fine. Um, we're going to, um, I just had a blast. It was super fun. And thankfully the flights were great. And, um.

[00:27:37] [SPEAKER_06] In Springfield. Cool.

[00:27:38] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. All right. Let's call HollyBobby.

[00:27:41] [SPEAKER_06] Okay.

[00:27:43] [SPEAKER_03] Then I'm going to do my updates.

[00:27:44] [SPEAKER_06] I have so many good updates. What, um. As I'm doing this. Holly Bobby, there he is. Does he know we're calling? Yes. How hot was it in the Ozarks?

[00:27:56] [SPEAKER_03] A hundred. All, all those days.

[00:28:00] Gross.

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_03] All of them. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It's hot here too. Yeah. I mean, just. Even at night, it doesn't really calm down. No. Same here in Nashville though.

[00:28:12] [SPEAKER_00] What's in Nashville?

[00:28:14] [SPEAKER_03] Uh, heat.

[00:28:15] [SPEAKER_00] A hundred degrees.

[00:28:16] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[00:28:17] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah. Yeah. And the humidity here is horrible. It's been raining. It's so gross. It's so. Are the termites listening? Yes. Yes. Oh God. Termites. How is it going to cool down? Oh. What's going on?

[00:28:31] [SPEAKER_03] What's the temperature in Palm Springs when it does rain?

[00:28:36] [SPEAKER_00] A hundred.

[00:28:37] [SPEAKER_03] Oh God. Gross. When does it stop being a hundred? Like November?

[00:28:43] [SPEAKER_00] No, it should. It should start cooling down in about three weeks right after summer. And so it's just so hot. You guys, I can't take it. I'm going crazy.

[00:28:53] [SPEAKER_03] How long does it rain when it rains? Like an hour or like all day?

[00:28:58] [SPEAKER_00] Well, it stopped raining last night, but it rained all day, Sunday and Monday. Two days. Oh God. Because of that hurricane off the coast.

[00:29:08] [SPEAKER_03] I know there's a hurricane. I've never seen it rain in the desert. And I've been to Arizona a million times and, um, you know, Palm Springs, all that stuff. Never seen it. I would love to see. Can you see it come in like a wall of water?

[00:29:20] [SPEAKER_00] Uh, yeah, you can. It comes. Yeah. You can see it coming from the distance and then all of a sudden it hits you. And you're like, oh, it's raining. So.

[00:29:28] [SPEAKER_03] Okay. Um, well, aside from, um.

[00:29:32] [SPEAKER_00] You know where it's not raining?

[00:29:34] [SPEAKER_03] Where's that?

[00:29:35] [SPEAKER_00] The Telluride Film Festival, where they debuted Elizabeth Holmes, not that. A24 documentary coming to theaters in October. She's psycho.

[00:29:43] [SPEAKER_05] I said panels would be so excited. There's a new documentary about Elizabeth Holmes. She looks crazy in that trailer. Crazy. Is the. Crazy.

[00:29:52] [SPEAKER_06] I know.

[00:29:53] [SPEAKER_03] Well, the no blinking. If you haven't. Yes. It's called You Can See. What's it called? You Can See Something or You Can See.

[00:30:00] [SPEAKER_00] Oh, hang on a second. I wasn't prepared because I'm sitting here working trying to book people. Hold on. Let's get the facts straight. Elizabeth Holmes, let me pull it back up. Documentary. But that documentary, she's like, wait. You can see everything. Why would I just see you?

[00:30:13] [SPEAKER_03] Yep. Okay. It's called You Can See Everything. Yep. And that guy. She's crazy. I think it's a Canadian who did it. Nathan Fielder. I don't know that.

[00:30:21] [SPEAKER_00] I think he's British.

[00:30:23] [SPEAKER_03] Okay. I'm going to look that up. I think he's Canadian. I think he's British.

[00:30:26] [SPEAKER_00] Okay. This podcast isn't. Oh, he is Canadian. You're right. You're right.

[00:30:31] [SPEAKER_03] Have you ever been to the Telluride Film Festival?

[00:30:34] [SPEAKER_00] I have. It's beautiful. I think Telluride's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been in my life. Oh. I've never been. They have a waterfall. It's more rustic than Park City. Okay. So picture Park City higher up into this valley. And I mean, it's at 11,000 feet.

[00:30:54] [SPEAKER_03] Is this, is Telluride California or, I mean, is it Colorado? Okay. I didn't know if it was Colorado or Utah. Okay. Yeah. It's beautiful. And is that, is that film festival as chic as the, uh, the others? Sundance and so on?

[00:31:09] [SPEAKER_00] Like Sundance? Yeah. Well, Sundance is a little more grungy, you know? Like you have all different types of films there. Um, Telluride really, really goes for the Oscars. Like they debut Oscar caliber films there. Like Toronto, like speaking of Canada, TIFF, it's called TIFF. And Toronto International Film Festival. And that's going to be happening soon in a couple of weeks. Maybe we should talk about that. Like what the hits are coming out of the Toronto Film Festival that are Oscar caliber. Okay. So.

[00:31:38] [SPEAKER_03] Well, you can give us, yeah, you can do the update on that and let us all know. Now, here's the thing. Do you know anybody that saw it?

[00:31:45] [SPEAKER_00] No, it's only Tuesday. It's the day after Labor Day that you're calling me. And nobody's working yet. It's only 8 a.m. on the West Coast. Right. Right.

[00:31:54] [SPEAKER_03] He's awake. Well, I read that it's three hours long and he started filming a month before she went to prison.

[00:32:03] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah. And she's got her baby in the trailer. How creepy was that?

[00:32:07] [SPEAKER_03] I saw the baby on the white eyes, bouncy seats on the floor. But the psychoness of not blinking. What are you trying to do to me? That's all I would be thinking. Why aren't you blinking? Or maybe you have an eye disease. You should go to Lens Crafters.

[00:32:23] [SPEAKER_00] It's so weird.

[00:32:24] [SPEAKER_03] And find out.

[00:32:25] [SPEAKER_00] Tell the termites. Tell the termites what we're talking about. So the guy's. The trailer, it's like a minute long.

[00:32:30] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Anybody can go see it. Go Google the trailer. It'll be on the schnotes. Yes. And the guy. Well, he's also sitting uncomfortably close to her. I don't know.

[00:32:38] [SPEAKER_00] Right in her face. My God. It's like they're going to make out. I would be like, what?

[00:32:42] [SPEAKER_03] Are you hitting on me? Why? Someone's about to get stabbed. And you're kind of sweaty. Well, so what? Why? Is it not cool enough in here? It's kind of gross. Creepy. But she doesn't budge. And she keeps her face right in his. And she's still kind of got sort of the fake voice, but not as much. It's not. Because now I've seen other clips online going in reverse when she really did.

[00:33:05] [SPEAKER_03] I couldn't believe nobody realized this lady's a fraud on every level when she just copied 100% Steve Jobs' look. The black turtleneck. I mean, come on. She's role-playing, for Christ's sake. Don't give this woman money. Oh, she's a mimic. She's a mimic. Yes. She's a mirror. She's mirroring everybody that she thinks is successful. Meghan Markle does it, too. It's the mirroring. Because inside there is no them.

[00:33:35] [SPEAKER_03] There's no core. They're just vessels of emptiness that reflect what they want to reflect.

[00:33:42] [SPEAKER_00] Yes, and she's like a power suck. Yes, yes. She's taking all your energy, and she's sucking your energy.

[00:33:49] [SPEAKER_03] Yes, I call them the vampires.

[00:33:52] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah?

[00:33:52] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. My little friend Ron, some comedians I know have been married to some of those people. And you just watch. Some vampires. Some vampires. Vampires get in. They get in the front door all the time.

[00:34:04] [SPEAKER_00] Do you think any of Ron's exes are listening to this right now? No, I do not. No, I do not.

[00:34:09] [SPEAKER_03] And you know what? There's a lot of them, so don't say it's about you because you don't even know the other ones. I know them all.

[00:34:16] [SPEAKER_00] You know where the bodies are buried.

[00:34:18] [SPEAKER_03] I know. I know where all the money went and who's living for free based off him. Wow.

[00:34:24] [SPEAKER_00] She's just like for a minute. She's just staring without blinking into this camera with this guy, the director and creator, hovering over her. And I'm just, I'm like going, oh my God, when's she going to blink? And then I had to watch it again and she never blinks.

[00:34:39] [SPEAKER_03] No, it's so, is that like a, I don't, maybe it's a power trip. Somebody wrote Matt, this guy, Matt Nagila. He's at Telluride at these, it's an Instagram account. I love this review. He goes, what the fuck did I just watch? One of the best documentaries I've ever seen. You can see everything as Lance Oppenheim and Nathan Fielder's unparalleled full access look into Elizabeth Holmes life leading up to her imprisonment.

[00:35:08] [SPEAKER_03] Shocking, expansive, revealing, and depending on what you choose to believe. 174 minutes. It never lags, but it certainly lingers, leaving behind haunting revelations and disturbing moral contradictions that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. A mesmerizing psychological evaluation of truth, performance, and self-deception that will have you questioning every gesture, every glance, and word through Fielder's dark comedic point of view. Gorgeously photographed and edited, completely stunned. Wow. They've all been great. Every review.

[00:35:38] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah, the reviews have been really good. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, the other thing too is though, like, I have a question for you, Kathleen. Like, why would she grant access? I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Before she went to, so what was her motivation?

[00:35:52] [SPEAKER_03] I don't know. I was thinking about what is her motivation because, well, I don't know because when she gets out, she's already said her and the husband are going to create that blood testing thing again. Yeah. They're not stopping. So if you knew, if you really believed you were going to try to do something productive when you get out in the same field of all things, why would you allow yourself? Now, anyone who sees this, well, normal people are going to go, this lady's crazy. Right.

[00:36:22] [SPEAKER_03] I don't know. Maybe the motivation is just pure narcissism and attention.

[00:36:27] [SPEAKER_00] Well, also too, it's an independent documentary. And I mean, there's not like hundreds of millions of dollars at stake here. You know, she's not going to make money off of a documentary. So that's why I'm like, why is she putting this out? Well, maybe. Does she think she's trying to clear her name or something?

[00:36:43] [SPEAKER_03] Maybe he just, lightning in a bottle, asked and she wanted the attention. I mean, if even an independent documentary, how much would you get paid? 50 grand, you know?

[00:36:54] [SPEAKER_00] At the most. At the most.

[00:36:56] [SPEAKER_03] Right.

[00:36:58] [SPEAKER_00] And that's nothing.

[00:36:59] [SPEAKER_03] Right. Well, I would have asked her that. It's a great question. Why are you doing this?

[00:37:06] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah. Well, maybe it's in the documentary. Maybe. That's what we have to find out.

[00:37:09] [SPEAKER_03] But you said, is it going to, it's going to theaters first?

[00:37:13] [SPEAKER_00] I hate going to. Theaters first. Yeah. No streaming first.

[00:37:15] [SPEAKER_03] Like independent theaters?

[00:37:17] [SPEAKER_06] Or like Regal?

[00:37:19] [SPEAKER_00] Well, like, it'll probably go to Regal. Yeah. I mean, it's got so much buzz. And A24 is the company behind it. And they're right. Like, they just did that big hit film. You probably didn't see it, but it's called Backrooms. No. And it's based on a YouTube series. And that made like $500 million. Oh, good for them. It's like on a budget of a million.

[00:37:36] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Okay. Do you know when it's coming out in theaters?

[00:37:41] [SPEAKER_00] October. They haven't said the exact date, but they said October 2026.

[00:37:46] Excellent.

[00:37:47] [SPEAKER_03] So you got a month. Will you and Clark be attending?

[00:37:50] [SPEAKER_00] I'll go. I'll go pay to see it. I don't care. I want to see what this. I don't know. I'm fascinated by like people that are narcissistic like that, that will, you know, she's probably proud that she has a movie about her life in theaters, you know? Oh, yeah. Right. She's gambed everybody and stole money.

[00:38:04] [SPEAKER_03] Well, it's all press is good press to those people. I don't agree with that. She's a psychopath, isn't she? Yeah. I think she's a sociopath. Well, psychopath is the next level to me where you're actually actively hurting people. Yeah. Like a Jeffrey Dahmer or something. A sociopath, you may not, but she did hurt a lot of people. Let's vote. I mean.

[00:38:25] [SPEAKER_00] She took their money.

[00:38:27] [SPEAKER_03] She took their money. She probably bankrupted people. She took their health insurance. Yep. She fired people. She did hurt her. But I don't, I think she just saw that as like something that's in the wake of the boat. Tough shit. Yeah. Too bad. It doesn't affect me. It's just a different level between a Jeffrey Dahmer and her, you know, there's that level. I don't, I don't know, but she's at that level, but I, it makes me, it actually tonight, I think I'm going to go have Mexican with my neighbors, Mexican food with all my neighbors.

[00:38:53] [SPEAKER_03] And then I think I'm going to come home and watch the Amanda Seyfried, Elizabeth Holmes. You're going to watch it again? Yeah. I'm going to watch it again.

[00:39:00] [SPEAKER_00] It's a good idea. Oh, okay. Like a refresher.

[00:39:03] [SPEAKER_03] Why not?

[00:39:04] [SPEAKER_00] Okay.

[00:39:05] [SPEAKER_03] All right.

[00:39:06] [SPEAKER_00] Because I thought you already watched it.

[00:39:08] [SPEAKER_03] I did, but it was a long time ago. I believe it was during COVID.

[00:39:12] [SPEAKER_00] Wow. I remember those days of COVID when we would binge everything and stay home.

[00:39:17] [SPEAKER_03] Stay home. And then your pets liked you more because you're home. Yeah. Baby cat loved it. Every hour she could come in the kitchen and demand a treat and she got it.

[00:39:32] [SPEAKER_00] Well, please call me because I have to pack a suitcase and I have to go to LA tonight and tomorrow night. And then my 60th birthday is on Thursday. I know.

[00:39:42] [SPEAKER_03] Happy birthday, Bobby. And September 10th, the same birthday as my twin nieces. And thank God you guys were born that day because September 11th would be sad.

[00:39:51] [SPEAKER_00] That would be sad. Yes. Maggie Houlihan. Remember her? She's born on September 11th.

[00:39:56] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, yes.

[00:39:57] [SPEAKER_00] But I have to wake up in the Hilton Garden Inn on Thursday morning by myself and go to work by eight o'clock. How's that?

[00:40:06] [SPEAKER_03] Well, at least you still have a job and you have a cool job and you're still part of the cool kid club. You're not on a loser show on some streaming service we've never heard of. It's network television. I'll give you the pep talk you need. I'm going to tell you how bad your life could be right now. And then you'll be very happy to wake up in the Hilton Garden Inn and know that you have a paycheck.

[00:40:27] [SPEAKER_05] That's why like we were watching Naomi Osaka, my niece. And like, you know, she comes out all the clothing. It's a thing.

[00:40:37] [SPEAKER_03] She has these crazy outfits. But when they talk to her, she's very thoughtful. I like her a lot. But the children, well, I don't know. I think I'm happy. It's very about their emotions. And I said to my niece, I have never woken up one day in my life and thought, am I happy or am I sad? I woke up and went, I need coffee. Where's the cat? And I got to go to work. I mean, it's just, I don't think about it. Like, maybe I should. Maybe I should listen to the children.

[00:41:08] [SPEAKER_03] They really care about their mental health. I've never thought about.

[00:41:12] [SPEAKER_00] How do I feel today? I'll wake up on Thursday and go, I'm happy today. It's my birthday. I'm going to go downstairs for coffee.

[00:41:21] [SPEAKER_03] Exactly. Be glad there's a downstairs. Be glad you're at Hilton Garden Inn. And sometimes they have good pancakes in the free breakfast room.

[00:41:28] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah, they have those eggs and sausages in the trays, you know.

[00:41:33] [SPEAKER_03] Can you do anything fun that night?

[00:41:36] [SPEAKER_00] I'm driving back to Palm Springs after the taping, so I'll be home by 9, 10 o'clock at night, three hours of traffic.

[00:41:41] [SPEAKER_03] But you did have a, you did have a, right, that will not make you. You did it. That will make you sad. Sad. Let's just frame it. Sad. All right. All right. We'll talk to you later. Go to work. Just be happy. Try not to be sad.

[00:41:56] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah, I could be in jail with Elizabeth Holmes. That's right. That's right.

[00:42:01] [SPEAKER_03] But we could be happier if we were at Telluride and got to see that. I wish I was there.

[00:42:06] [SPEAKER_00] I know. When I hear the release date, I'll let you know. All right. All right. Happy birthday week, Bobby. Thank you. Bye, panels. Bye. Bye.

[00:42:18] [SPEAKER_03] I've got a lot of, I've got a few updates before we call.

[00:42:21] [SPEAKER_06] We got to do something fun for his birthday.

[00:42:22] [SPEAKER_03] Fabulous, Amy. I know.

[00:42:24] [SPEAKER_06] I got some ideas.

[00:42:25] [SPEAKER_03] All right. Here's an update. This is a picture of Larry, the cat at 10 Downing Street. And yes, he roams the streets of London and he's very fucking good at it. I would be terrified if baby cat was out on the streets of a city because she wouldn't understand any of it. She knows how to go to the woods and she doesn't even like that. The other two love the woods. They hunt all day long. Well, Larry is getting his winter coat in and he's very old.

[00:42:53] [SPEAKER_03] Once cats get, you know, older, their coats become a little more wild looking. Okay. And they, unlike an indoor cat, a full-time indoor cat, they're just running around a lot, getting scraped up and, you know, whatever. Well, thank you for all of your concern. Kind concern. People were tweeting, Larry doesn't look good. What's wrong with his fur? It's his winter coat coming in.

[00:43:18] [SPEAKER_07] Oh, okay.

[00:43:18] [SPEAKER_03] He said, my winter coat is coming in nicely. As you can see, I'm out on patrol today. A little update. It was everybody concerned about me. I am well, happy to be out in my winter coat. Thank you for your lovely messages. They're really kind. Now, if you'll excuse me, Downing Street won't supervise itself. Lots of love, Sir Larry PM. Fantastic. Speaking of the Brits, then we'll give Fabulous Amy a call.

[00:43:41] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, boy.

[00:43:42] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, this is so major. Oh, God. The drama never stops with the harkles, Harry and Meghan. So they moved in over there, put the kids in school.

[00:43:56] [SPEAKER_03] Whatever school this is, I think it's somewhere in the Cotswolds, the posh countryside, the school got a message warning everyone, the parents, to tell their kids and the parents not to take pictures of these kids. You know?

[00:44:15] [SPEAKER_07] Whatever.

[00:44:16] [SPEAKER_03] Whatever. I mean, now you're a pain in everybody else's ass. Not that the kids care about that. I don't even know. Do rich kids care about taking pictures of other famous rich kids or is it the parents? Or is it the help? Sometimes the nanny's going to drive the kids to school, like most of the time. And maybe she gets a picture. I don't know. Okay.

[00:44:39] [SPEAKER_03] But the letter stated that they aim to make sure all children can enjoy life in a safe and happy and private environment. Mm-hmm. It then reminded parents and carers, that's nannies, to not photograph or film the children without permission or share photographs of information. Blah, blah, blah, blah. You're like, oh, God, if you're up there, you're like, we're already, this shit's coming in. Right. We don't want celebrities.

[00:45:01] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-mm.

[00:45:02] [SPEAKER_03] The super rich, well, I don't know what these two are doing over there.

[00:45:09] [SPEAKER_07] Okay.

[00:45:09] [SPEAKER_03] But it's clearly pissed off King Charles.

[00:45:12] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[00:45:14] [SPEAKER_03] He had Lord so-and-so. I love that there's people that still call themselves Lord. Lord Madigan. Mm-hmm. Lord somebody sent out an edict, a notification, whatever you want to call it, confirming, that they are no longer working royals. If they're calling you about a charity, it has nothing to do with the royal family.

[00:45:40] [SPEAKER_03] If they are calling you about public appearances, this has nothing to do with the royal family. I mean, he reiterated the Sandringham agreement still agrees when they quit. Yep. And they took their freedom flight to get away from these horrible, racist, asshole, trapped people. And now they're back. The gaslighting. It's gaslighting on a level I've seen. You just move back into the backyard and go, what? Right. Get over it. Get over it. I had to speak my truth. You're free to speak yours. Come on, Dad. What's the matter?

[00:46:09] [SPEAKER_03] Where's Queen Camilla, who I said was evil? Where's she? Oh, my God.

[00:46:14] [SPEAKER_06] You'll never be my mother. What?

[00:46:16] [SPEAKER_03] Well, he delivered a blow. It was a big blow. He broke, broke. Because why would, then you have to think, like Bob says, why would someone do that?

[00:46:24] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[00:46:24] [SPEAKER_03] Why did King Charles do that? I guarantee you. And I'm no fan of any of these people at the end of the day. Not really. As an Irish person, I look at them like Disney characters. And sometimes they can be super bad. And sometimes they can be very nice. Right. Um, why would he have to do that? Because, I guarantee you, Harry, and it couldn't be, it couldn't be Megan in this part because she doesn't know enough people. Okay. Harry's calling around. Mm-hmm.

[00:46:52] [SPEAKER_03] Going, oh, we thought, oh, she wants to get back involved in charity work. So she says. Okay. Whatever. Somebody put out that bulletin from their camp. Right. Their camp is putting out tweets every five seconds. Harry, I think, is calling around, making calls, and saying, oh, you know, we'd like to come to this party or this event or this hoo-ha. And it must have gotten back to Charlie here. And he's like, bullshit.

[00:47:18] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[00:47:19] [SPEAKER_03] And a reminder, you're either on Team King, Team Charles William, or you're on Team Harry. I'm drawing a line in the sand.

[00:47:27] [SPEAKER_07] Yeah.

[00:47:27] [SPEAKER_03] If you work with him, you will no longer work with us. Right. And the royal household's always going to win. Mm-hmm. They've been in existence for thousands of years. They're the ones with their name on the china. That's right. Also, we're going to talk about a little bit. The souvenir spoons. And the Canadian Mint. There's somebody. Someone's drunk. Somebody's so drunk at the Canadian Mint coming up with ideas. We're going to talk about that later. But King Charles is on one of your bills now.

[00:47:55] [SPEAKER_06] Mm-hmm.

[00:47:55] [SPEAKER_03] They took her off, the queen, because she did.

[00:47:58] [SPEAKER_06] Yeah, she did.

[00:47:59] [SPEAKER_03] All right. Let's call Fabulous Amy. Amy's just going to tell us. We're going to. Amy's just going to tell us one thing, because a lot of you termites said she can do a lot in one segment. And we want to make it simpler, because sometimes even I get confused. They don't want to take notes. They don't want to take notes. Right. Who's taking notes? So I told Amy, we got to simplify it. And she's got it. She understands the assignment. This Bloody Mary is so good.

[00:48:24] [SPEAKER_01] This is delicioso.

[00:48:27] [SPEAKER_08] Hello, darling.

[00:48:28] [SPEAKER_03] Hello, Fabulous Amy. I'm sorry. I'm late. HollyBobby went long. We were talking about the new Elizabeth Holmes documentary that came out in Tell Your Ride.

[00:48:36] [SPEAKER_08] Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw the ads for that this morning while I was watching the news.

[00:48:39] [SPEAKER_03] Did you watch the trailer?

[00:48:42] [SPEAKER_08] I saw a little bit of it because they put it on, you know, on this morning. It looked fantastic. Yeah. I love the person that's playing her.

[00:48:50] [SPEAKER_03] That's her.

[00:48:52] [SPEAKER_08] It's an actual documentary. Oh, in the documentary. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I figured out something else.

[00:48:56] [SPEAKER_03] The trailer, it's only a minute and like 12 seconds. She doesn't blink at all. No. It's extremely strange.

[00:49:05] [SPEAKER_08] I didn't see the trailer. I must have seen something else.

[00:49:08] [SPEAKER_06] Well, I saw they did. You were talking, Kat, about the Amanda Seyfried. Oh, they're showing clips of that. They're going back and forth. Yeah.

[00:49:18] [SPEAKER_08] Okay. So that's Amanda Seyfried. Okay. I think that's.

[00:49:21] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. If you've never seen that, you should. I do love her. If you've never seen that, you should go back and watch that because I watched it during COVID with Amanda Seyfried playing Elizabeth Holmes. It's so good. It's great.

[00:49:30] [SPEAKER_08] Wow. Okay. Yeah. I think that's what I must have seen because I think she's she's so beautiful. So they got a great actress to play her. Yeah.

[00:49:37] [SPEAKER_03] Okay. So what do we got on the agenda this week?

[00:49:41] [SPEAKER_08] Okay. So today we are going to start talking about wardrobe capsules because it's a big buzz. You see it all over the internet, magazines, whatnot. And I want to explain what they are, what the buzz is about, why you might want one, and then how to start thinking about building one.

[00:50:02] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:50:03] [SPEAKER_08] And then next week we'll take a deeper dive and we'll start suggesting items that you might want to consider to start building. But today I just want to talk about what it is and go forward. Does that sound good to you girls?

[00:50:16] [SPEAKER_07] Sure.

[00:50:17] [SPEAKER_08] All right. All right. Let's hit it. So, you know, we're always being told what to buy and that we need these basics. You know, you walk into J.Crew or you get online to Brooks Brothers or Neiman Marcus, et cetera. And they're always trying to sell us on the concept of you must have this basic white top or basic jean or whatever. And it's really great marketing because I buy it. You buy it. You know, we all buy the classic, you know, cable knit sweater. But then we think, okay, now what?

[00:50:46] [SPEAKER_08] So this is kind of where that wardrobe capsule comes in. It's kind of like thinking about the minimalist movement, but it's geared more towards organizing your clothes and your options. And you really kind of want to think about the quality over quantity. So that's kind of where you start. A wardrobe capsule is very small. It's intentional. It's versatile. And it's classic. And then you take these pieces and you mix and match.

[00:51:15] [SPEAKER_08] And then you create dozens of outfits that really look fabulous on you because you've tried them all on and you love them and you look great.

[00:51:22] [SPEAKER_03] Well, it's sort of like I see in those, sometimes you see in a movie that somebody will say to somebody, well, let's just leave now and go away for the weekend. And then the lady runs in her bedroom and throws like six things in a bag and comes out within five or 10 minutes. And I thought, you know, if you, I'd be like, where are we going? What is the temperature? I'll be back in three hours because I don't, I don't have it. I don't even know if things, well, I mean, look at what I'm wearing. A Niagara Falls souvenir t-shirt.

[00:51:51] [SPEAKER_03] But I, it's very cute. It's not a basic for sure. I don't even know. Like they all have to kind of match. So you can mix and match them and take six things and that should make four outfits.

[00:52:03] [SPEAKER_08] Kathleen, this, you, you do easy. And this is easy. This is really easy. Your Niagara Falls may not make it into our capsule, but, but look, it fits perfectly and

[00:52:13] [SPEAKER_03] nothing fits. They don't make extra smalls. When you find one, you got to buy it. Even if you don't like it. We may have to go to the intersection for you to start your capsule.

[00:52:21] [SPEAKER_08] But that's okay. We can do it. So I'm going to suggest 12 to 15 pieces for fall. And then you're going to update in the wintertime, you know, add a few more pieces. And then you're going to add a few more pieces in the spring. And then you're going to do 12 to 15 pieces in the summer. You're going to ultimately end up with about 30 to 40 pieces total. Some fashion mags say you need to start with 30 or more pieces, but I think that might be

[00:52:49] [SPEAKER_08] a little overachieving for you at this point. So we're going to start with 12 to 15, you know, and there's also the three, three, three method to build your capsule, which is like three tops, three bottoms, three shoes. But I think that's a little underachieving. So we're going to start with 12 to 15 because I like to sometimes add a belt or a scarf or something fun.

[00:53:10] [SPEAKER_03] I don't even own a belt.

[00:53:12] [SPEAKER_08] Well, we're going to talk about that in the next week. And then also people might have some great pieces already in their current wardrobe, but you want to start your wardrobe capsule. It's built on four core essentials, your tops, your bottoms, your layers, and your shoes.

[00:53:28] [SPEAKER_03] All right, let's do those. And then we won't, then we don't, then I won't get overwhelmed and neither will the termites. So four, what four do I need to go get?

[00:53:37] [SPEAKER_08] Well, we're going to, I'm not going to really dive into that today because what I really want to kind of, kind of enlighten everyone is about what this really is and then why you want to do it. So, um, because you know, not everyone's going to be on board, right? There's a lot of folks out there that kind of grew up in the retail industry and they know exactly how to match everything. They know what pieces they have in their wardrobe. You know, this is the lady that runs into her closet and in six seconds gets a handbag full of stuff for the weekend. Right.

[00:54:06] [SPEAKER_08] So there are those folks and this is not who we're kind of gearing the wardrobe capsules towards because they already know it. You know, they already know it.

[00:54:14] [SPEAKER_03] But you also know some of this from working where?

[00:54:17] [SPEAKER_08] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is funny because I didn't, I thought you worked in retail. Did you? I never worked in retail.

[00:54:23] [SPEAKER_03] Not a chance. Can't even fold a shirt. Nope. I would lose my goddamn mind if I had to stand around in J.Crew all day. I don't know how people do it. You must have to love clothes.

[00:54:34] [SPEAKER_08] So I loved it. I worked and this is completely going to date me, but I actually worked at the limited in high school and my summers in college. And you know, that was kind of the hippest at the time middle market brand. Yes. And it was in every mall in America. So they were genius because they hired these, you know, young gals to who loved clothes, right? They figured that out right away because you're buying all sorts of crap from them.

[00:55:03] [SPEAKER_08] But they taught you how to put an outfit together for any body type. They taught you what color looks good on people, skin tones, how to fold a pair of sweater, how to fold a pair of jeans, how to add belts, accessories, earrings, et cetera. And the great part about what they did was every season, they all, they basically allowed you to purchase very, very cheaply a wardrobe capsule.

[00:55:30] [SPEAKER_08] And it was called PDLA's and it was called perfectly dressed limited associates because we had to wear while we were working on the floor, everything limited from your earrings to your socks.

[00:55:41] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, I never noticed. I went in there.

[00:55:43] [SPEAKER_08] Everything. It was great. So we, we knew exactly how to sell the line. We were basically the influencers before influencing even started. It was genius. It was absolutely genius.

[00:55:53] [SPEAKER_03] You were actually live influencers. Live influencers. Nice.

[00:55:58] [SPEAKER_08] But you know what's really interesting? You know, this wardrobe capsule, it's actually nothing new. It's been around for about 50 years. The term originated in London in the early seventies by a gal named Susie Faux. And she owned a boutique called wardrobe.

[00:56:18] Wow.

[00:56:19] [SPEAKER_08] So very literal. She, right. I know, right. Very British. And I love her name. Susie Faux. She designed the concept to help women build the collection of essential, high quality, timeless items using the core four, you know, tops, bottoms, layers, and shoes that never went out of style that could be mixed and matched. You know, she believed that women struggled with having too many clothes. And again, this is in the seventies with nothing to really wear. You know, how often have you walked into your closet?

[00:56:48] [SPEAKER_08] You every day closet and your drawers are piling out with clothes and you're going, I have nothing to wear.

[00:56:54] [SPEAKER_03] I have a thousand bar t-shirts if anybody needs one.

[00:56:58] [SPEAKER_08] So those may not start our core capsule, but those are add-ons that we know are there.

[00:57:05] [SPEAKER_04] Come on, look how fun my, I got, I closed wool skis. It's hilarious. It's funny.

[00:57:10] [SPEAKER_05] All right.

[00:57:11] [SPEAKER_08] So she had a great solution to that. And then of course in the eighties you had Donna Karan and when she wants her.

[00:57:17] [SPEAKER_03] What happened to her? She's still alive.

[00:57:20] [SPEAKER_08] You know, I remember walking in, I was again, this probably dates me like famous bar Dillard's and seeing a whole bunch of Donna Karan, but I was probably too young to really understand her seven easy piece collection.

[00:57:33] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, she had one.

[00:57:35] [SPEAKER_08] But, oh yeah, it was a huge hit. It started with a black body suit and then she had all these interchangeable pieces that helped women transition from work life to nightlife. Oh, nice. Her big, you know, her big appeal. You know, and then again, it kept gaining movement. You had Steve Jobs with his famous black turtlenecks. Yeah. He probably did the three through three method, only he probably was a thousand black turtlenecks, a thousand pair of jeans, and a thousand black tennis shoes.

[00:58:02] [SPEAKER_08] But that hit corporate America and everyone kind of loved it. You also had Maria Kondo, which was the decluttering expert. So she kind of was a significant role in popularizing the capsule wardrobe. Her method of keeping only, you know, items that sparked joy kind of aligned with this principle. So, you know, a lot of folks really kind of jumped on this bag wagon. Joy's part. But why, why do we want to do this?

[00:58:30] [SPEAKER_08] So, I mean, obviously it's going to save us time, right? Because we're going to have tops, bottoms, layers, shoes that basically match and we can swap them out. So I'll be, you could pick out a bottom and then you've got your, you know, 10 tops and you throw it on your shoes. So this is, again, Kathleen, helping you to become the lady that can pack in six minutes or less for the fabulous polo match that you're going to be. We're going to time you. Yeah. You know what?

[00:58:55] [SPEAKER_03] As soon as I start getting polo match invitations, I'm going to be ready on the fly. Great. The head to.

[00:59:01] [SPEAKER_08] You're going to have your capsule on it. All right.

[00:59:04] [SPEAKER_04] So next week, will you tell us what we need in this capsule? I am. Okay.

[00:59:08] [SPEAKER_08] And I'm going to, I'm going to tell you how to start building it, picking a palette. Perfect. Starting to streamline the count.

[00:59:14] [SPEAKER_03] Would you count, would you count, for instance, I have black Viore thin sweats with a drawstring that look nice.

[00:59:28] [SPEAKER_08] So.

[00:59:29] [SPEAKER_03] Would you count that as a basic capsule item?

[00:59:34] [SPEAKER_08] In my list of 12 to 15 that we're going to start with for fall, I am excluding gym wear. And I would throw Viore into gym wear category. What am I supposed to wear for pants on a plane when I'm cold? So I know you have a theory about everyone dying on a plane and you need to get out quick.

[00:59:55] [SPEAKER_03] Yes. Yeah.

[00:59:57] [SPEAKER_08] But. I are. I'll argue with you.

[01:00:01] [SPEAKER_03] You'd rather go down looking good.

[01:00:05] [SPEAKER_08] I mean, I'm thinking like if they pull me out of the water, I'm going to have an Eileen sweater on. And my hat next to me floating. And then they can find me faster than they can find you.

[01:00:18] [SPEAKER_03] Well, once we find, once we find your hat.

[01:00:21] [SPEAKER_08] You're going to shave the lady in the hat.

[01:00:23] [SPEAKER_03] Once we find your hat, once we see your hat, we'll know you're either underwater somewhere nearby or you've been eaten by a shark.

[01:00:29] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, she's an heiress. You must get the lady in the hat.

[01:00:35] [SPEAKER_08] Go, go, pedal. That's great.

[01:00:37] [SPEAKER_03] I want to be comfortable, though. I mean, sometimes I sit on runways for two fucking hours. I mean, I can't listen. I can't be sitting there in fancy pants.

[01:00:47] [SPEAKER_08] I don't disagree. I don't disagree. But I will tell you, and this is the thing, because I have read this often, and I had an airline host tell me this. You look fabulous, darling. You know, and he goes, I just get so tired of watching people come in and off this plane in sweatpants.

[01:01:06] [SPEAKER_02] But mine don't look like sweatpants.

[01:01:09] [SPEAKER_08] No, they do. I mean, there's still sweatpants. I can look at them and I can see that there's sweatpants.

[01:01:13] [SPEAKER_03] Right. But then I have on a cute shirt and a cute jean jacket. And, you know, I'm trying not to look like shit, but I got to be ready to get out of here.

[01:01:22] [SPEAKER_08] Yeah, yeah. No, no. I get it. I get it. To each their own. To each their own. I will be safe first.

[01:01:28] [SPEAKER_03] You will go down with the shirt. No, no. I'm getting out. And my shoes aren't going to burn in the fire because I'm going to be so fast. The fire can't catch my feet. People in high heels, people in flip flops that are pure rubber are going to burn to the side of that slide. That's so graphic.

[01:01:46] [SPEAKER_02] Well.

[01:01:47] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:01:47] Wow.

[01:01:48] [SPEAKER_04] Okay. Well. And then there's that. All right.

[01:01:53] [SPEAKER_08] Tuesday, termite.

[01:01:54] [SPEAKER_04] All right. Next week, you tell us.

[01:01:56] [SPEAKER_08] Yes. Next week, we're going to go into the go into the how, how we start building the wardrobe and it's going to start with picking a color palette. And you want to start with your neutral colors like gray, white, navy, black or beige.

[01:02:09] [SPEAKER_07] Right.

[01:02:09] [SPEAKER_08] Yeah. But we're also going to throw a few, you know, other color combinations in there. So you're not dressed, you know, in a uniform every time we see you. So it's, you know, it'll be good. It'll be good. We're going to start you off. You're going to be, you're going to be all ready. You're going to be all ready. All right.

[01:02:24] [SPEAKER_03] Well, you hosted a wonderful party this weekend. Everyone had a great time. And, um. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. And we will talk to you next week.

[01:02:32] [SPEAKER_08] All right, girls. All right. Sounds lovely. Bye-bye. All right. Have a fabulous day. Bye. Bye.

[01:02:37] [SPEAKER_06] Have a happy September.

[01:02:40] [SPEAKER_03] She always does look fabulous. Does she? And I think I look fine when I leave the house and then I go in the bathroom and I'm connecting through Atlanta and I'm like, Kathleen, just. You leave awfully early in the morning. You know, I'm leaving at this time. It's four in the morning. Yeah. And then I know fan people sometimes see me and want pictures. That's fine. I don't care if I don't look great in that photo. I mean, you want the picture. I'm totally willing to do it. But I might have my glasses on.

[01:03:10] [SPEAKER_03] I don't have makeup on. I'm still asleep. Yeah. I'm going back to my night when I get on the next flight and have a screwdriver. And still coming to have one of those hot gummy bears and set my mouth on fire. I do think she's right, though, about that. And I think people, I think of me, I think of my friend Kelly McFarlane. Like, we need to be taught. Kelly's better than I am by a lot. She always looks cute.

[01:03:32] [SPEAKER_07] Yeah.

[01:03:32] [SPEAKER_03] But she likes to know these things. Like, all the shit in my closet. I mean, shit. Piles of... I give all of my extra t-shirts to the Guatemalans that work at the golf course. It's all Guatemalans. Yep. And they're all pretty small people. Right. So I'll go golfing and see them wearing the shirts. You're close. People give me a lot of t-shirts, which is totally great. I love them. That's funny.

[01:04:02] [SPEAKER_03] But they all, most of them don't fit me. Like, if it's a small, that means unisex small. That's really a guy's shirt.

[01:04:08] [SPEAKER_06] Got it.

[01:04:08] [SPEAKER_03] But I see the Guatemalan guys, you know, they're working on the golf course and stuff. And then they're waving. And they have ball caps people give me. I don't know. My closet's a shit show. So I wouldn't, I don't know if I would let Amy in it, though. Because I would become like...

[01:04:27] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, that could be dangerous.

[01:04:27] [SPEAKER_03] I would be like a hoarder person who's like, you're not throwing that t-shirt out. Like, she would want to throw this out immediately. You mentioned a hard rock sweatshirt last week. Yeah, a hard rock Biloxi. Yeah, I mean, come on.

[01:04:38] [SPEAKER_06] I mean, she would throw that out. How often do you wear that?

[01:04:41] [SPEAKER_03] A lot. Really?

[01:04:42] Yeah. Huh.

[01:04:43] [SPEAKER_03] I wear... Yeah. All right. Moving on. Okay. I already did my hardcore. Okay, good. So let's talk. We're moving into news. Okay. But we have a lot of sports news. I'm sorry if you're not a sports fan, but these are more human interests. I'm not really getting into sports sports, so it's not going to be too hard. It is the season. College football. This is the most epic shirt I've ever seen.

[01:05:12] [SPEAKER_03] It was Notre Dame against Wisconsin, and the shirt said Catholics versus alcoholics. Nice. And I'm like, oh, what about both? Both. What have you... What have you hit both? I'm torn. Yes. Catholic for Notre Dame, but...

[01:05:29] [SPEAKER_05] Alcoholics in Wisconsin.

[01:05:30] [SPEAKER_03] Most of them are Catholic anyway. Well, the ones I've met. But I just thought it was so funny, and there was this picture of these three guys, and they have beers, and it's... I'm like, well, aren't we one in the same? Right. I mean... Right. I guess there's probably enough Lutherans and stuff in Wisconsin to throw the balance off, but they drink too, so what the hell is the difference? College football has begun, began. We're going to learn from Sarah's book what the difference in that is.

[01:05:59] [SPEAKER_03] It's very exciting, and pro football starts tomorrow night. So excited. Or tonight, whenever this is going to air. Yep. A Wednesday night game, because Goodell has sent them to fucking Australia. It's crazy. It's really crazy. Jesus Christ. They're so... But fantasy has also started. We'll be starting. Yeah. I'm so excited. My teams are really good.

[01:06:22] [SPEAKER_03] I even got a compliment from one of my nephews, because I was the fifth pick, and there's, I don't know how many people, maybe 11 in that one, something like that. I was in the middle of the pack, and he's like, I don't know how you got Jamar, and I don't know why he was still left on the table. I said, I didn't either. No. When it got to me, I'm like, why has no one taken Jamar Gibbs from... Why? Right. And then I thought, did he get hurt? I don't keep up enough on who's hurt, who's in jail. I don't know. Who's in jail?

[01:06:52] [SPEAKER_03] Well, I had a lot of people on my team last year go to jail. Or get impacted. Troubled with the law, and then suspended, and whether you're guilty or innocent, I don't know. But please, take your bad behavior, not in the football season, off the court, take it backstage. So, I was talking to my brother, because he's in a bunch, and then he leads our pick'em pool. A pick'em pool, for you guys who don't know, especially for people that don't know anything about gambling, or you think it's too complicated.

[01:07:22] [SPEAKER_03] Here's the easiest thing to start at. If you can't get in a fantasy league for beginners, it's not like as hard as Mahjong. The easiest thing...

[01:07:32] [SPEAKER_06] Have you learned Mahjong yet?

[01:07:33] [SPEAKER_03] No. No. No. The hardcore people don't want to be bothered with us newbies. I get it. And I don't have enough time. I just don't have really enough time. But anyway, a pick'em pool, you just pick the winner of each game that week.

[01:07:47] [SPEAKER_07] Okay.

[01:07:48] [SPEAKER_03] Now, there's no point spread. You don't have to guess anything. Just pick a winner. And then, boom, you're good to go. So my brother leads one of those, which is great. But we were talking about... So if you're in fantasy football, a lot of leagues, the winner gets to pick a punishment for the loser. And they are so funny.

[01:08:10] [SPEAKER_06] Patrick... But they do that at the beginning of the season, right? Here's what the loser gets. So... Yes.

[01:08:15] [SPEAKER_03] You know...

[01:08:16] [SPEAKER_06] You know what's coming.

[01:08:16] [SPEAKER_03] Kind of what's coming. And so I Googled a bunch. I saw a video of this. They make a regular dad guy, like my brother, enter a bodybuilding competition. Oh, no. And they have to do the poses. And they have to wear the little... Whatever that is. I don't know. I call it like a swimming suit. I don't know what... Singlet thing. But put the lotion all over him. First of all, my brother's chest and stomach are so hairy. It would be the most... He'd have to get waxed. Yeah.

[01:08:45] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, you can't present that. Gross. You can't present this hairy animal. But it would be so fucking funny. Some of them make... The person... The loser has to take the SAT test.

[01:08:57] [SPEAKER_05] Oh.

[01:08:58] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Oh, boy. Interrupt a couple's wedding. There's one guy... I saw a thing on ESPN in Kansas. The winner makes the loser get a tattoo. The tattoo can be of the loser's choice. It's... Or no, you have to get what the winner said. But it can be small and in an unseen area of your body.

[01:09:22] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:09:22] [SPEAKER_05] The one I saw, the winner told this farm Kansas guy, he had to get a tattoo of Tatiana from Frozen. No. Yes.

[01:09:31] [SPEAKER_03] But it's very tiny. And he put it like over here on his arm. But he said, as it turns out, my daughter's think it's the coolest thing I've ever done. They're so excited. That's awesome. But so the Waffle House challenge is legendary. You have to spend 24 hours in a Waffle House, minus one hour for every waffle you ate. Oh, God. Right.

[01:09:55] [SPEAKER_03] So watching your buddy choke down waffles at 3 a.m. is peak league comedy and proof that carbs can crush us. The hot wing challenge? No. No milk, no water, no mercy. The spiciest wings your league can find. God. This one's short, brutal, and guaranteed to have the whole crew double over laughing while the loser begs for relief.

[01:10:14] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[01:10:15] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, my God. The McDonald's challenge. Gluttony meets endurance. One day at McDonald's with hours knocked off for each item eaten. Ten nuggets, a burger, or a medium fry. It's fast food at its slowest, and it leaves you hungry. I mean, there's so many of them.

[01:10:31] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[01:10:32] [SPEAKER_03] The tattoo. Oh, you have to have a temporary henna design. I'd go for the henna thing.

[01:10:38] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[01:10:39] [SPEAKER_03] Or they make them go do stand-up comedy or karaoke. Funny. Yeah. That'd be a fun night out. How long do you have to do it for? It doesn't really say. I don't know.

[01:10:49] [SPEAKER_06] Five minutes is a long time.

[01:10:51] [SPEAKER_03] Five minutes on open mic nights. Mm-hmm. So fantasy football has began. I'm very happy with my team. Cool. I was smart enough. Last thing I'll say about this. If you're in any fantasy league with anyone that's a football fan from Philadelphia, my advice is go get any player that was an eagle or is an eagle, even if you don't love them.

[01:11:20] [SPEAKER_05] Or might be an eagle.

[01:11:21] [SPEAKER_03] Or maybe they're in the conversation about being an eagle. Right. Take at least two of those, even if it's not who you really want. Right. Because there will be an eagle fan who's so psycho. Right. That they will trade you the greatest players on earth for just what's a mediocre running back. I saw that happen this morning. It sure did. It happened to me. Yep. Yeah. I saw who you got. Yep. You want Kenneth Gainwell? Sure. Here's who I want off your team.

[01:11:49] [SPEAKER_03] You just cherry pick whoever the fuck you want because they're so psycho. And I'm like, he's not even an eagle. He was an eagle, Kathleen. He was an eagle. I'm like, I do remember that. And he was good. He was so good. And then my friend Dory, she watched on Netflix or Amazon. They do the preseason with the whole team. They've done almost every team. Hard knocks. Yeah. Well, she watched the Detroit one. And now she's in love with like four Detroit people.

[01:12:17] [SPEAKER_03] And she has to stay with them because they put so much work in. They've sacrificed so much. How can you just not take them? I said, well, shit, I've watched like five of those hard knocks. I don't really remember anything except Devante Adams is a very sweet dad. And his kids are beautiful.

[01:12:33] [SPEAKER_05] He's so lovely.

[01:12:33] [SPEAKER_03] And I don't want him to be a raider at the time he chose it. No. Why would you? Yeah. It's so funny. Just next week, we're going to do a deep dive. Not this week. Okay. Into two things. Okay. Burning Man. I just love this. Burning Man.

[01:12:53] [SPEAKER_06] You love Burning Man.

[01:12:54] [SPEAKER_03] Well, I love the concept of it. I'm never going. I'm never going to Coachella. Never going to Burning Man. There's another one now too. I would go to like Bonnaroo here because it's right down the road. And I know people because I'm old and I can get secret passes and shit. And I don't have to do what the 20-somethings are doing. And I don't have it in me anymore. Burning Man has become a wrinkled sausage fest of aging millennial men. Yeah, we're going to do a deep dive though because three people died this year.

[01:13:23] [SPEAKER_03] But also, we are all getting so old. Maybe you just died that day. Yeah. Maybe it had nothing to do with Burning Man. Let's not blame the festival. No. But there's two documentaries on it too that I want to read a little bit more about. And then this is going to be – I didn't have time because I was floating in a lake all weekend. There's nothing more fun. Good for you. You should. Tell my brother when I'm in the lake on a noodle, throw me a beer.

[01:13:52] [SPEAKER_03] Because I don't know how hard he's going to throw it at me.

[01:13:54] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, God.

[01:13:55] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah, it's a can of Miller-like or whatever, McUltra. And he'll fake me out. And it still makes me be a 10-year-old where I'm anticipating danger. And I love it. And I'm like, don't be mean. Don't be mean. It's going right to your head. Don't be mean. Do not throw that at me at 100 miles an hour because I won't see it until the very end. And it's going to knock my sunglasses off. I'm going to be super mad. But the other thing I'm going to do a deep dive in next week is there's only two countries on earth that allow pharma advertising.

[01:14:23] [SPEAKER_03] It's the United States and New Zealand. And we didn't allow it until 1997. I've never understood it because I can't go buy Sky Rizzy. So why are you telling me? We've all heard of Sky Rizzy, but we don't really know what it's for. I think it's a skin condition. I think it's psoriasis. I don't know. I don't know. But I think it's very arrogant on my part as a general Joe citizen to walk into a doctor's office and try to nudge them.

[01:14:52] [SPEAKER_03] You know, hey, I know you went to school for like 180 years. Maybe you haven't heard of this, but I think I'd like some Sky Rizzy. I mean, a million comedians do jokes about it. Watch this. Watch this. Yeah. I need some eloquence. I need some eloquence. Oh, have you had a stroke? No, not yet. But I've heard it's really good. And why not take a stroke prevention drug if I can't? I need to do a deeper dive into that. Okay. But what I don't need to do a deeper dive in. This is so crazy.

[01:15:22] [SPEAKER_03] As you guys know, if you listen to the podcast, I am a hack tennis fan. I know the main players. I'm not a deep diver. Like I would know a lot more about golf or football. My friend Lorene, however, that's her passion. She has a tennis channel. She played college, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So if I have questions, I just text Asia Baby and say, who is this person and should I like or not like them? Because she said, turn this on right now. Iga's going to lose her shit.

[01:15:50] [SPEAKER_03] And so I turned on some match between Isa Swiatek and then this Chinese lady. Oh, no. She was down five. She was down five games in the first set. Yep. It was five to nothing. I'm like, oh, I guess I don't know why Lorene's telling me to watch this. But then it was five one. Then it was five two. The Chinese lady came back and won. You're not going to mentally recover from that. I love it when they have tempers and go crazy. I don't want them to hurt people.

[01:16:18] [SPEAKER_03] But more importantly, so I just watch tennis. If I see it, I see it. It's a lot. I like it. But I'm not going to skip a boat ride to watch it. Oh, okay. Or I'll just tape it or whatever. But understood. The influencers have taken over the U.S. Open. And apparently it's out of hand. It's completely ridiculous to the point where. Okay, so right now, I don't know if you can see this in the YouTube shot if you're watching this podcast. I have two what are called ring lights.

[01:16:47] [SPEAKER_03] It's just a circle on a tripod and it just gives you better light. So the influencers, I could turn those lights to different colors and make myself look younger or more tan or whatever I want. I just don't, but I just put them on regularly. But they're dragging this kind of equipment into the U.S. Open. How and why is this being allowed by anyone in charge? The players were stopping the matches going, can we just calm that down?

[01:17:16] [SPEAKER_03] Somebody's getting ready to serve. In tennis, it's traditional. Shut the fuck up. Right. When somebody's going to serve. And they're up there laughing and showing their, what is it? Honey deuce drinks. Honey deuces. Two influencers got kicked out after posting their credentials to show how hot they are. God. Yeah, meaning good looking, not like hot, hot.

[01:17:37] [SPEAKER_06] Yeah, not that they're on fire.

[01:17:38] [SPEAKER_03] Meg and Audrey, they run the social media account, the VIP list. Here's the other thing.

[01:17:45] [SPEAKER_07] Oh, boy.

[01:17:46] [SPEAKER_03] The U.S. So say you have 100 credentials to give out to the press. Back in the old days, that meant newspaper writers, TV reporters, sports reporters for ESPN. Okay. Well, the newspaper thing's kind of out the window. Yep. And then I remember when bloggers started getting press credentials, I'm like, no way. You gave. Meghan Markle. Well, no, just a regular guy. Mike Smith, who has a blog in Columbia, Missouri,

[01:18:16] [SPEAKER_03] gets a badge, a press badge to the Masters. Right. Because of his sporting blog, which I could have created overnight, and said, even if I wasn't a comedian, anyone can do it. Anyone. Well, that became the thing. Then blogging kind of fell off the map, and now they're giving them to influencers, and they're paying the price for doing that. Because I don't think the people in charge, go look at these people's accounts before you give them a thing.

[01:18:42] [SPEAKER_07] Yeah.

[01:18:43] [SPEAKER_03] And go, do I want this shit show? Right. That's going to cause problems, being people are kicked out. Imagine if you're in the seats around these people, and they start busting out all this tech equipment, tripods, ring lights, microphones. It's really distracting. Fucking yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. So this went on the whole weekend, apparently. I mean, there's different pictures. They're showing their $23 drink.

[01:19:11] [SPEAKER_03] The chair umpire had to admonish a group in a suite during Naomi Osaka's match against Anastasia Zakiraba. I don't know. One woman had the bright ring light to capture content. In a different post, a group of influencers were in a suite, were recording a video, much to the dismay of a fan sitting below them. It goes on and on and on. So here's the answer.

[01:19:36] Oh, boy.

[01:19:38] [SPEAKER_03] Well, I'm very mad at the Masters for allowing it, too. That was stupid. You take all of our phones. But there's a secret place within Augusta called Berkman's Place. And that's for like Condi Rice and stuff. Charles Barkley, like all that echelon of people. Normal people, we get it. You buy a pass on wherever you buy it or you win one, and we're just walking around the grounds. We don't go to Berkman's Place. You go to the beer stand, get a beer in an exile stand.

[01:20:06] [SPEAKER_03] But I kept seeing these influencer people, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. We are not even allowed to bring our phones in at all. But clearly they're allowed at Berkman's Place. So who is letting these kids in with all this equipment? Right. And then they run around the court. Well, Wimbledon, God love them. They're bringing down the hammer. Oh, boy. This comes after a large group of influencers caused a number of disturbances at this year's U.S. Open.

[01:20:35] [SPEAKER_03] According to the Press Association, security measures will confiscate items like ring lights that could be used to disrupt matches. Wimbledon will not have any accreditation category for influencer content creators. Good. Good. Any idiot can call themselves a content creator or digital creator. Whatever word you want, influencer, whatever word you want. It doesn't mean you should be here. Right. And how much do you know about tennis?

[01:21:02] [SPEAKER_03] Like, I would feel stupid taking a seat at a tennis thing over my friend Lorene. Right. Like, if somebody offered me tickets to tennis, I would offer them to her first. Mm-hmm. Or if she had any tennis diehard friends. I like it, but I don't know enough. Anyway. Right. This year's U.S. Open gave out 100 content creator passes. Oh, God. As well as traditional journalists, which there aren't hardly any. No. And broadcasters. Wow.

[01:21:31] [SPEAKER_03] So, good. Good for Wimbledon. Mm-hmm. Stop it. All right. I was very mad about that. That's crazy. I'm glad I got that out of my system. I know. Holy shit, they found it. Oh, wait. Sorry. I have two more sports newses before I move off the thing. The good, good golf thing. Oh, wow. Where they made the commercial of a man tackling a woman and screaming at her.

[01:21:58] [SPEAKER_03] The CEO and the president of good, good are no longer with the company after a week-long scandal.

[01:22:04] A week.

[01:22:04] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. The CEO and co-founder Matt Kendrick decided to step down. He's out. They all look 35 years old.

[01:22:13] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[01:22:13] [SPEAKER_03] They all, nobody, everyone's in a hoodie. And, you know, I'm the, quote, CEO. Okay. Whatever. I mean, this is where Calloway should have got their shit together. But they have fired two and given names because a lot of times they just say, oh, people were relieved to their duties. But they don't say who. Trust us. Okay. Stan Kroenke has purchased the Angels.

[01:22:34] [SPEAKER_03] Stan Kroenke owns the Rams, Arsenal, the soccer team in England, the Avalanche, the Denver, Colorado hockey team. Mm-hmm. And then his family owns more, too. I don't understand this. Bob, I should have talked to Holly Bob about it because he's the only Angel fan I know. And Adam Rank. Adam Rank, right. Mm-hmm. They're gonna. Two people are excited. Because Bob's like, do you think he's going to move them? I'm like, yes. I don't see any other reason.

[01:23:04] [SPEAKER_03] He owns the Nuggets. Oh, the Nuggets. Basketball.

[01:23:07] [SPEAKER_06] He owns the Colorado Rapids. What are they? Major League Soccer. Oh. The Mammoth is lacrosse.

[01:23:14] Jesus God.

[01:23:15] [SPEAKER_06] But the Nuggets and the Abs are in the name of his wife. So they're not counting those. He just, yeah.

[01:23:21] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, my family's big enough. I could buy every team in the world and just put in some nephew's different name. He looks weird in a sports hat. Champs. Stan. Champs. I know. I know. And he's 79. And I said, you know what, Bob? He's gonna move those Angels. You know where he should move them? Salt Lake. Oh. And you can have land and you can build your entertainment complex. He's not looking to buy the Angels because they're money makers. They're too close to the San Diego Padres. Orange County, you can be a Padres fan, a Dodgers fan.

[01:23:51] [SPEAKER_06] Yeah.

[01:23:52] [SPEAKER_03] A lot going on. Yeah. I give him a year. Oh. Well, you're gonna start hearing about it. Right. I don't know how long it'll take to actually do it. Or Nashville. We pop up on the list a lot. Yep. Not as much room here, though, and people aren't as starved for entertainment as Utah. A lot of Braves fans here. Right. Yeah. Or Cardinal fans. Or Cardinal fans. Yeah. The other breaking sports news, because we've talked about it, I said the commissioner of the WNBA, they need a new one. This lady's just not handling anything.

[01:24:22] [SPEAKER_02] No.

[01:24:23] [SPEAKER_03] You don't hear from her enough. She doesn't do anything. Not a take charge kind of person. We need somebody like an Adam Silver, who's the commissioner of the NBA. Someone like that. Male or female, I don't care. Well, the commissioner, Kathy Engelbert, will be retiring at the end of the calendar year after holding a position. Yeah. Not soon enough, Kathy. Bye, Kathy. You have such a great product now. Now it's popular. And no one's organizing. And you're destroying it. Have meetings. Let's get together. Come on. Let's work this, man. We're finally making money.

[01:24:53] [SPEAKER_03] And nobody's got a handle on it? Nope. No. It's ridiculous. Kathy sucks. Holy shit, they found it. This is great. A Picasso stolen in broad daylight from a Milwaukee gallery found eight years later. 2018, somebody just walked into a Milwaukee art gallery.

[01:25:13] [SPEAKER_06] Maybe they thought it was a gift shop.

[01:25:16] [SPEAKER_03] Just stole a Picasso.

[01:25:18] [SPEAKER_06] Taking that.

[01:25:19] [SPEAKER_03] The rare Torero print, only one of 30 ever known to have been signed by a Picasso. Wow. It was valued upwards of $50,000 at the time. It had been commissioned for the sale through Dillon's gallery. Eight years later, Dillon received an unexpected call from the Milwaukee cops asking him to come and identify an artwork that had been recovered. A local landlord, Tim, found the frame print while clearing out a vacant apartment building

[01:25:48] [SPEAKER_03] belonging to a tenant who had left his belongings after being evicted. How does a guy who's getting evicted from a park, he must not have known it's a Picasso.

[01:25:57] [SPEAKER_06] No.

[01:25:58] No.

[01:25:59] [SPEAKER_03] No. You don't leave it. It's crazy. It was indeed mine, he said. He went down and identified it. Wow. So who stole it? How did it end up there? I want to know the rest of the story. Great. Um, I don't know. Holy shit, they found it? Oh, that's not how you say it. I know.

[01:26:17] [SPEAKER_01] Holy shit, they found it. Yes.

[01:26:20] [SPEAKER_03] Archaeologists absolutely certain they found a lost city where Jesus performed miracles. It's a testament and dedication. They are a team of archaeologists absolutely confident they have discovered the lost biblical city of Bethsaida after spending the summer unearthing an incredible trove of artichokes artifacts from northern Israel. They recovered lamps, makeup tools, coins, and other artifacts from the shores of the Sea of Galilee. Cool.

[01:26:48] [SPEAKER_03] In its 10th season of digging, solidifying their longtime theory that it was once the ancient city where Jesus is said to have performed a litany of miracles. That's so great. That's awesome. Maybe we can go see that. One more. Oh, shit, they found it. This is not AI. This is real. Okay. You got to go look at this picture on the internet. A rare orange-colored shark, and it is bright orange, like fluorescent orange. Oh. Like an orange life jacket or orange hunting gear.

[01:27:17] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, wow.

[01:27:17] [SPEAKER_03] An orange-colored shark discovered off the Costa Rica has stunned researchers with an appearance unlike anything normally seen in the species. The coloration is believed to be linked to a rare pigmentation condition that dramatically alters a shark's typical appearance. Its bright orange immediately stood out. I don't know how this hasn't been killed by other sharks. Um, that's crazy. You'll go look at it. It's just crazy. Um, news. We're moving on to news. Okay.

[01:27:48] [SPEAKER_03] So I've worked with some people over the years who are overachievers, um, with ideas.

[01:27:54] [SPEAKER_06] You've got a different baseline than some. Yeah, I do.

[01:27:57] [SPEAKER_03] Well, yeah. Um, I, there's a couple autistic people that do a lot of stuff for me and, um, they're super overachievers.

[01:28:07] [SPEAKER_06] Yeah.

[01:28:07] [SPEAKER_03] In a great way. And they're very good at what they do, but sometimes they just take it one step too far. We got to calm it. Calm it down. Calm it down. Uh, well, I believe there's someone like that working at the Canadian Mint. And what's crazy is whoever it is, is succeeding. And they keep winning. Yeah. The Canadian Mint just dropped a rare glow in the dark dinosaur coin.

[01:28:35] [SPEAKER_03] It's a scientifically accurate depiction as reviewed by the Royal Tyrell Museum of Paleontology in Alberta. It's right outside of Calgary. Okay.

[01:28:45] [SPEAKER_06] In Drumheller.

[01:28:46] [SPEAKER_03] Well, it's got like a, looks like a T-Rex to me. I'm not an expert. And a velociraptor coming to attack it. It's a whole scene of anger and hunting. So great. Featuring the unique glow in the dark details. It's quite interesting. Um, it, now this thing costs money though. It's like 200 bucks, but don't think I'm not buying one. Okay. Don't buy them for me. I don't want to spend that money. I got it. I got it.

[01:29:11] [SPEAKER_03] Then, um, whoever this person is at the Canadian Mint, they've released a new, uh, $20 bill, but it's vertical.

[01:29:22] [SPEAKER_06] No, it was like a misprint and they went, Oh, cool. No.

[01:29:25] [SPEAKER_03] Right. It's a redesigned $20 bill to enter circulation in February, 2027, marketing the first Canadian bank note to feature King Charles III, replacing the image of his late mother who appeared on the currency for 90 years. You guys got to get beyond this.

[01:29:40] [SPEAKER_06] Yeah.

[01:29:41] [SPEAKER_03] I know you're part of the Commonwealth.

[01:29:42] [SPEAKER_06] I know.

[01:29:43] [SPEAKER_03] Can't that be a bear or a Canadian goose? Maybe it'll be the boss. The boss probably has to die though. Wayne Gretzky. He's on the hundred though, I think. Right. Gretzky's on some money. How about Anne Murray? How about, come on. We should have a vote. Why is the King shouldn't be on Canadian money? No. In my opinion. No. I know they still have a seat in parliament.

[01:30:02] [SPEAKER_06] Well, ask the, ask the, ask the Canadian termites. Canadian termites. I haven't lived there for a while.

[01:30:06] [SPEAKER_03] So I have my own opinions. Do you want the King or would you prefer, uh, you know, a grizzly? How about the boss from Alberta? Exactly. The world's greatest bear ever. Mm-hmm.

[01:30:17] Pfft.

[01:30:18] [SPEAKER_03] Sorry. Anyway, the new bill breaks tradition with a vertical layout rather than the usual horizontal design that features blah, blah. Um, it also features four plants with cultural significance to the indigenous peoples, including wild strawberries, symbolizing reconciliation, Western red cedar, braided sweet grass. Oh. And Arctic cotton representing the Inuit. Oh, that's cool. That's nice. Very nice. How about a famous Inuit? How about we do that?

[01:30:48] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Right? And a green gables maybe. Sure. Sure. Yeah. I just think we could do. Uh-huh. She's big. I think we could do something other than Charles. He's never even there. No. No. No, we could. They come over once every 25 years. Mm-hmm. They bebop around the globe. You know, Australia, wherever else they want to go. Northern Ireland. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[01:31:18] [SPEAKER_03] Gloria Steinem died. That's some news. 92. 92. I met her once in New York. Mm-hmm. I had a comedy club. It was at Gotham. It was a fundraiser for whatever her deal was. I didn't pay any attention. But Martina Navratilo was there. Oh, cool. That was cool. And they were, oh, oh my God. Ah, shit. One of my favorite newspaper writers, she died, too. Molly Ivins. Oh. From Texas. Really? Yeah. And I was very excited.

[01:31:47] [SPEAKER_03] Because I read all of her books in journalism school. I was very excited to meet her. Gloria was very nice. I don't know. We raised some money. It was me and Joey Behar, and I don't remember who else. It was a long time ago. But here's, you know, feminism got a bad name, really, honestly. I'll blame it mostly on Rush Limbaugh. He started this whole thing calling everybody feminazis.

[01:32:10] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, I didn't hear that.

[01:32:11] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, it was years ago. Years ago. My dad used to listen to it because he hated. He didn't like them. And then he would call in and act like he was a right-wing person. Oh, good. Yeah, he would trick them into this conversation. Wow. And I'm like, how do you need a job again, Dad? Is this what you're doing, calling talk radio? Retirement's rough sometimes. There's a local one in Missouri, and he would go out to the farm, and he would pull over if he was still in conversation because you lose the signal. I'm like, why are we pulling over? Well, there's nobody.

[01:32:40] [SPEAKER_03] He goes, I want to finish this. I'll lose this signal on the farm.

[01:32:43] Oh, wow.

[01:32:44] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. But anyway. He was committed. You know, when people my age or younger say they are or are not a feminist, if somebody asked me that, I'd say, well, what is your definition? Right. Do I think women should have the same rights as men? Yes. Does that make me one? Then count me in. Right. I don't know what. It's definitions. What? It's definitions. But here's the thing I know. Like my mom said, I asked her once, she said she wanted something, and my dad said, no, whatever it was. I don't know.

[01:33:13] [SPEAKER_03] Could have been a car. Could have been. I go, why didn't you just go buy it? Right. What's he going to do about that? She goes, well, Kathleen, because women couldn't have credit cards without a male signature up until 1977. Wow. We couldn't buy property without a male signature. All this shit that people my age didn't even know. That just came up in conversation with my mom. I never heard that.

[01:33:33] [SPEAKER_06] Yeah, I never thought of any of that.

[01:33:34] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, I go to college, and on campus, they're offering me credit cards, and I don't need a man's signature, or my brother, or, you know, I mean, what kind of, what are we going to Sharia law? Now I'm not allowed to. Holy Christ. I got a free backpack when I got a Planet Hollywood card. Day one.

[01:33:53] [SPEAKER_06] Yes.

[01:33:55] [SPEAKER_03] One time I was trying to buy. So cool. First house I was ever going to buy. I was already 40, and my brother was looking at my, what do you call it, your credit report, he goes, Kathleen, is the Banana Republic credit card still necessary in your life?

[01:34:10] [SPEAKER_07] I said, well, it's paying up.

[01:34:12] [SPEAKER_03] What do you care, Pat? Stop judging. Don't judge. Don't judge. And he goes, how about, he starts going through all. I said, Patrick, oh, I had, I go, what you don't understand is, if I'm going to buy a bunch of shit that day, they offer me 10%. If I take the card, I do it. Right. Why is that a bad thing? He said, you don't want this many on your, and you don't want them all paid off because it doesn't look like you're actually making payments. I go, so you want me to be in debt? Right.

[01:34:41] [SPEAKER_03] This conversation is stupid.

[01:34:43] [SPEAKER_01] This is dumb. Yeah. This is not what. You're dumb, Pat.

[01:34:46] [SPEAKER_03] This is not what dad told me. Dad told me to pay my bills on time.

[01:34:50] That's funny.

[01:34:52] [SPEAKER_03] But she had a crazy life. She lived in 92. And you know what? I don't know what people's definition is these days, but we're going to do that one next. It depends on who you ask, I think. It depends on who you ask. Let's talk about Meta. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, I know. I know it, but it's important. Yeah.

[01:35:19] [SPEAKER_03] So Meta, they had this big trial. They got to pay out $18 billion in damages, and he's got to make all these corrections. This is their idea of a solution. They're going to have to enforce a two-hour daily limit on Instagram and Facebook for children as part of a record. It was $18 billion dollar settlement with 29 states over social media addiction claims. The product, quote, productive pauses for children, including mandatory pauses after 15 minutes

[01:35:48] [SPEAKER_03] of continuous use, and again at 60 and 90 minutes to interrupt endless scrolling. Nighttime blocks restricting children's access from 12 to 6 a.m. Limited school time access for children, eliminating push notifications on weekdays. Listen, I mean, I'm already overwhelmed, and I already know the kids can get around this. Yeah. This is bullshit. This is the things he'll agree to because he knows as well as I know.

[01:36:18] [SPEAKER_03] My autistic one nephew has reset all of our devices 100 times to get what he wanted to do. Yeah. He's good at it. He's great at it. He knows, I mean, way, way more than I would ever know. And if I gave him a device, I know he'd figure it out to get what he wanted.

[01:36:38] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[01:36:39] [SPEAKER_03] Limited social comparison features like beauty filters and visible like counts that have been linked to poor mental health outcomes in kids and teens. Oh, my gosh. This goes on and on and on. But it's all that type of shit.

[01:36:52] [SPEAKER_07] Mm-hmm.

[01:36:53] [SPEAKER_03] That's what he agreed to. I mean, he's got to pay the $18 billion. I don't know who's getting that or how. I have another article that I haven't had time to read, but I'm going to. And I'm going to try to tell you who gets it and how you can get it if you're part of it.

[01:37:05] [SPEAKER_06] Wow.

[01:37:07] [SPEAKER_03] And how much do you get? Is it worth it? When you get those email things, you could be part of a class action lawsuit. Right. And you've got to fill all this shit out and it's $22. Mm-hmm. No, I'm not doing that. There you go.

[01:37:18] [SPEAKER_06] Have fun.

[01:37:23] [SPEAKER_03] That just to me is a bunch of old people sitting around going, oh, that'd be good. Right. After 15 minutes, pause it and let them go get a soda. Mm-hmm. No.

[01:37:34] No.

[01:37:35] [SPEAKER_03] No. There comes an age where you have to realize you're old and you can't make the rules for these people. Right. They should have called my nephew, Little Patrick, and he would tell you, oh, well, if you really want to turn me off, here's what you do. If you really want to cut me off, here's what you need to do because I can do this and this and this and this or go get another phone. Right. Right. Here's some good news. Australia becomes the first country to ban AI-generated music from its official charts. Great. Good for them.

[01:38:03] [SPEAKER_06] Good.

[01:38:04] [SPEAKER_03] AI-assisted music can still chart if the song is substantially human-made with humans handling the main writing, vocals, and instrumentation. The move followed a controversy around AI-assisted cover of Madonna's Like a Prayer, which became one of the most top-played songs in Australian radio.

[01:38:21] [SPEAKER_06] Wow.

[01:38:22] [SPEAKER_03] Mm-hmm. It can also, this new group they've come up with, they can remove ineligible songs, change chart positions, and withdraw chart awards under the new rules. Let's see if it works. Yes. Yeah. That'd be good for people. Songwriters. Songwriters and all that. Yeah. I mean, you know. I'm going to start getting a handle on this stuff. This is a great story. And it's still missing.

[01:38:47] [SPEAKER_03] Someone stole a beer truck with 40,000 pounds of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Now, look. Here's the thing. If I'm stealing a beer truck, it is not PBR. No. No, no, no, no, no. Not even close. Can't even drink it. $25,000 worth of Anheuser-Busch and Pabst Blue Ribbon product was stolen. The company is giving the thief an ultimatum.

[01:39:11] [SPEAKER_06] You know why? Because they're discontinuing it.

[01:39:15] [SPEAKER_03] Oh. Oh. PBR. Okay. They're investigating two separate thefts from August 17th at Anheuser-Busch Distribution Center. This is in California. Yep. First thing that happened around 10 a.m. on a shipment of around $45,000 worth of beer was heading towards Tucson. It was picked up for delivery but never arrived.

[01:39:38] [SPEAKER_06] Oh.

[01:39:39] [SPEAKER_03] Oh. Oh.

[01:39:40] [SPEAKER_06] Somebody likes some PBR.

[01:39:42] [SPEAKER_03] The second happened an hour later. $25,000 worth of Anheuser-Busch and PBR was picked up after purported subcontracting companies submitted fraudulent documentation.

[01:39:51] Oh, boy.

[01:39:52] [SPEAKER_03] That is so old school. It's so. To walk up with a bunch of fake papers and steal the beer.

[01:39:56] [SPEAKER_05] What? How are we... I'll sign for that. I know.

[01:40:00] [SPEAKER_03] That sounds like something from like... That's funny. PBR acknowledged a theft on Instagram saying 40,000 pounds of their beer was stolen in a truck and they're giving the thief the ultimatum. To the thief. Here's their threat. Okay? We don't fault you for wanting to brag to your friends how much PBR you have, but we wish you would have obtained it in the honorable way. Pabst is officially starting the clock now. You have 18 days and 44 minutes exactly to return our truck. No questions asked.

[01:40:30] [SPEAKER_03] Leading up to that time, we'll be offering a reward to anyone who can help us solve the mystery. P.S. This is real and we are deadly serious. Nice.

[01:40:37] [SPEAKER_05] Pabst, three days ago, they posted an update. Update. Pabst posted an update.

[01:40:41] [SPEAKER_03] The beer is getting warmer. The trail is getting colder. The clock's still ticking.

[01:40:46] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, wow.

[01:40:47] [SPEAKER_03] If you think you saw our truck, snap a photo and tag us or DM us. Okay. How do we lose this on an interstate?

[01:40:53] [SPEAKER_06] Right.

[01:40:55] [SPEAKER_03] Well, it's probably at a barn somewhere. I looked all the way up to Missouri. You know, I had a two-hour drive from Springfield to the Ozarks and I'm like, you never know. They could have come this far. This is my day. How far do you got to go? How far you got to go?

[01:41:09] [SPEAKER_05] That's funny.

[01:41:11] [SPEAKER_03] This is kind of fun for the Catholics. Shout out for the Catholics. Pope Leo's going to Lourdes, France. Yes. He's going to make a historic visit. On September 27th, the Holy Father will walk in the footsteps of millions of pilgrims before him who journeyed to the grotto where our lady appeared to St. Bernadette.

[01:41:30] [SPEAKER_06] Yep.

[01:41:31] [SPEAKER_03] Yep. In 1858. Cool. Mm-hmm. That's fun. 18 years after Pope Benedict did it, a pope will come again to pray with the sick and trust the church to our lady and lead the faithful in prayer. Nice. In an age that prizes power, speed, and suffering lights, the successor of St. Peter will go as a pilgrimage to place built upon something far older. Prayer, penance, healing, and hope. I like it. There you go. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:42:00] [SPEAKER_03] As Chapo says. Mow, mow, mow, mow, mow. Mow. Yeah. Our Spanish, if I was on a date. Okay. What is your favorite food? Oh, I like it. Que es tu comida favorita? I like it. Okay.

[01:42:20] [SPEAKER_06] What is your favorite food?

[01:42:22] [SPEAKER_03] Cajun.

[01:42:23] [SPEAKER_06] Just in general. Yep. Okay, cool.

[01:42:25] [SPEAKER_03] Last meal, if it's happening, Cajun. Mm-hmm. Period. Period. Two, we have two black history things. You want, we're not staying dumb here. We're learning Spanish. Black history is being taken out of schools. We're putting it back in. Here's a little story. Most people have never heard of Captain Mike Healy, and that's exactly why the story deserves to be remembered. He was born to an Irish planter and an enslaved black woman.

[01:42:55] [SPEAKER_03] Healy rose, and he was raised as a slave. Okay. Healy rose through the sea service and eventually became a captain in the United U.S. Revenue Cutter Service. I don't know what that is. Okay. He commanded vessels across the seas throughout his career. Everyone believed he was white, and he never publicly acknowledged his black ancestry.

[01:43:22] [SPEAKER_03] His story is a reminder that black history is far deeper than the names we learn in school, and he looks pretty white in the photo. So he got away with that. Right. But he's, you know, but he can't say, oh, yeah, but here's my mom. Right. Yeah, can't say it. No. This is very cool. This was at a Cardinal game, St. Louis Cardinals. Join us to wish a happy 102nd birthday to the first black pitcher in Cardinals history, Bill Greeson. Oh, cool.

[01:43:50] [SPEAKER_03] He looks phenomenal. I mean, I'd. Great. If she told me, I don't know, that's my grandpa, he's 72, I'd be like, oh, yeah. Well done. He grew up in Atlanta and lived across the street from Martin Luther King Jr. before serving as one of the first black Marines and fighting in the Battle of Iwo Jima. Following his military service, he played alongside Willie Mays with the Birmingham Black Barons of the Negro Leagues before joining the Cardinals organization in 1954, where he helped mentor a young Bob Gibson. Cool.

[01:44:19] [SPEAKER_03] After his playing days, he spent more than 50 years serving as a pastor at the Bethel Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama. He's the last surviving player for the Negro Leagues.

[01:44:28] [SPEAKER_06] Oh, that's awesome. That's great. That's great.

[01:44:30] [SPEAKER_03] A little feel-good story. Now, we're going to do a grammar thing. A couple quotes and a saint. I love this book. I don't advertise. When people send me stuff and say advertise my stuff, I don't do it normally because that could get out of hand, and I don't want people to think I'm doing that. But this lady, Sarah Rosinski, I hope I'm saying that right, unflubbify your writing, bite-sized lessons to improve your spelling grammar. This book is so great. Here she thinks these things. We're going to put in the schnotes.

[01:45:00] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Well, and she just makes it easy. Who versus whom? Because we're not staying dumb here. Whom is not just a fancy way to say who. I thought that my entire life until I had to read this journalism book that was sort of kind of like this. I forget what it was called. It was blue. It was blue, and I hate it. Very simple. Very simply. Who is the word to choose for the subject of an action?

[01:45:30] [SPEAKER_03] A doer. And whom is the word to choose for the object of an action? Okay. Hmm. Someone having something done to them. This can be so the doer. Who unplugged the freezer? She's the dentist who robbed a bank for her lunch hour. Who wants some spam? I like a man who recycles. The doee part. Whom will he? Oh, so I get it. It's identifying the first.

[01:45:58] [SPEAKER_03] Whom will he antagonize today? To whom should I send my expose? She's the nun whom the FBI arrested. Get it? Yes. The doer and the doee.

[01:46:11] [SPEAKER_06] The doee.

[01:46:12] [SPEAKER_03] Way to go, Sarah.

[01:46:13] [SPEAKER_06] Who's the doee?

[01:46:14] [SPEAKER_03] Let's try to get everybody speaking English again.

[01:46:16] [SPEAKER_06] Right. Exactly.

[01:46:17] [SPEAKER_03] Well, by then we'll have all learned Spanish and nobody will give a shit. But I'm trying to keep us just for the moment. Then we'll go for part two. Let's stay in line.

[01:46:27] [SPEAKER_02] Saint. Okay, that's a good one. Okay. These people are so crazy.

[01:46:37] [SPEAKER_03] Huh. Random. The Feast of Saint Thicla. Okay. T-H-E-C-L-A. She's a close personal friend of Saint Paul. She lived in the first century. She is invoked for the protection of newborns and against fires.

[01:46:58] [SPEAKER_06] Wow.

[01:46:59] [SPEAKER_03] That's so random. This is where, as a saint, you're like, wait, what did they assign me again? What? I'm not a firefighter. In 1969, in the 1969 revision of Calendar of the Saints, the feast was officially suppressed. Here's why. In her hometown of Iconominium, Iconominium, she fell under the influence of the dynamic Saint Paul and rebuffed her politically connected pagan fiancé.

[01:47:27] [SPEAKER_03] She then began, in today's parlance, to stalk the saint. Paul refused to baptize her on the ground. She was too attractive.

[01:47:36] [SPEAKER_06] What? Saint stalker. Her rejector.

[01:47:39] [SPEAKER_03] What? Her rejected suitor got huffy and then had them both arrested. She was ordered to be burned alive, but a storm from heaven put out the fire. Oh, wow. That's fantastic. And then she followed Paul to Antioch, where he continued to deny her the sacrament. So she's stalking this guy saying, I have to be baptized. I have to be baptized. Why can't I be baptized? Right. And you know what? Look, we're always looking for new Catholics. Why would you not have done that? Exactly. She said she's an old pagan. She's done with being a pagan.

[01:48:09] [SPEAKER_03] Let her do it. Yeah. She's coming over. He continued to deny her the sacrament of baptism, and she rejected yet another pagan, Swain. Once again, she was arrested. This time, after the lions in the arena, they fed her to the lions. Oh, God. Would not consume her, but they just wanted to lick her feet.

[01:48:31] Okay.

[01:48:32] [SPEAKER_03] She jumped into a large vat of water, thereby baptizing herself, but killing the seals that were swimming in it. Oh, my God. Winning a big thumbs up from the crowd. She was released. Oh, my God. Just remember, this is a shit I love.

[01:48:49] [SPEAKER_05] This is like a Vegas show.

[01:48:50] [SPEAKER_03] You know, these are the things that the nun would always close out class at the end of the day with. Let's learn about a saint.

[01:48:56] [SPEAKER_05] We're like, what? She jumped in a thing of seals?

[01:48:59] [SPEAKER_03] What? She killed the seals, set everything on fire. You just walk home. I had to walk like two miles home going, that was fucked up, man. What? And we're not allowed to ask any questions.

[01:49:09] [SPEAKER_01] Standing ovations. No question.

[01:49:11] [SPEAKER_03] Thumbs up from the crowd, because the lions just licked her feet. After she won the big thumbs up from the crowd, she was released. She tracked Paul down, joined him on his missionary travels, and lived to be 90, attributing her longevity and healing abilities to her virginity.

[01:49:28] Wow.

[01:49:29] [SPEAKER_03] There you go. Sounds like another Ruthie.

[01:49:31] [SPEAKER_07] Holy shit.

[01:49:32] [SPEAKER_01] You are going to baptize me or I will fucking follow you. You will never not see me. I don't care if you look forwards or backwards or side fucking ways. I'll be there.

[01:49:49] [SPEAKER_06] Love Ozark. Sorry, I love Ozark.

[01:49:50] [SPEAKER_05] I love Ruthie.

[01:49:51] [SPEAKER_06] What did she say in that last scene? You said it to me for like a month on the phone.

[01:49:55] [SPEAKER_01] Oh, she goes, I will fucking kill you.

[01:49:59] [SPEAKER_03] Sorry, I've said fuck so much, especially if there's kids listening. It's Ruthie. It's part of a character, right? I'm just doing a character.

[01:50:06] [SPEAKER_06] Channeling Ruthie.

[01:50:07] Wow.

[01:50:11] [SPEAKER_07] So stupid. That was a good saint. Wow.

[01:50:15] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. There's some dynamite saints in this thing. I'm not kidding. Every day in a Catholic grade school, I know this didn't happen in all of them because I talked to friends about it. I think it was the nun that I had that I particularly liked. Sister Barb. She was great. And she didn't wear the headdress. She wore very simple clothing. Kind of like from Banana Republic, as Amy would say. What is she wearing? Oh. But she would read us a saint at the end of the day.

[01:50:43] [SPEAKER_03] I looked forward to it because the stories were so crazy. Yeah. But there was no time for questions because the bell rang. Her timing was great. She would plan it at the end of the day. We got five minutes left on the clock. She's closing. Just burn the clock, have a good closer, send us on our way. But I'd get my book bag, and I had to climb. I had to walk across the highway, jump a fence, jump another fence, go through a creek, and then up a giant hill to get to our house. And I would just be with my book bag going, man, I'd really like to ask some questions about all that.

[01:51:12] [SPEAKER_03] The bell rings, and you've got to go. And then I'd ask my parents, and they're like, I've never heard of that saint. I'm like, I have. And you need to get an encyclopedia that has S on it that's a Catholic one with all these saints. I begged, can't you get a, this book is great. The Saint of Day Guide, Sean Kelly and Rosemary Rogers. They wrote it. I like it. A lighthearted but accurate and not too irreverent compendium. I don't even know what that word means. It's fun.

[01:51:42] [SPEAKER_06] Baptized herself, and I'll show you.

[01:51:45] [SPEAKER_01] I don't need you. I will baptize myself and follow you. Till you can't ignore me. And then you take over as Stevie. I'll follow you down to the sand. My voice will haunt you. Hi, baby cat. She hated that.

[01:52:08] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, baby cat, you don't like Ruthie? No. You don't like my Ruthie impression? I don't like our Stevie impression. Oh. Okay. Dolly, reflecting on her career in an interview with the BBC. When I was 35, it was a pinnacle. A great time in my life. Success and happiness and all that. And so I just decided I'm going to claim that number and always be in that state of mind. Hmm. So 35. Yeah. That's how old she thought I was.

[01:52:41] [SPEAKER_03] That's enough. We'll do one. Feel good story. Yeah, I got to do a couple thank yous.

[01:52:46] [SPEAKER_04] Feel good.

[01:52:46] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah, my feel good was the black baseball player.

[01:52:49] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, okay.

[01:52:50] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah, the old guy. That counted as a double. Black history and I'm so glad he's a cardinal or was a cardinal at the time. Couple thank yous. Okay. Oh, my God. There's a library at Penn State, apparently, that's called Madigan's Library. Fun. And they sent me the tiny, you get little free headphones and it comes in a little plastic case. That's from Termites Jennifer in Stafford, Virginia. That's cool. It was at the Penn, oh, wait, Penn College of Tech in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Yeah.

[01:53:21] [SPEAKER_03] How cool is that? Her son goes to school there. Oh. Yeah. Well, that was great. I can't wait to take a picture. I'm going to show it to my brother who has merch for Madigan's Wealth Management. You should get some headphones, Pat. Get free headphones from people. They'll love it. Great. A really nice card from Suzanne in Harrodsburg, Kentucky. And my Guinness drink coasters, those are cute. And the golf towel from Prosper, Termites, Marie, Kelly, and Amy. Nice. All right, Terrence. I have to go to San Antonio. I have to pack for 150 degrees.

[01:53:51] [SPEAKER_03] Going to the Alamo for sure, for sure. I don't care how hot it is.

[01:53:55] [SPEAKER_06] You seen Little Ron?

[01:53:56] [SPEAKER_03] I don't care. No, Little Ron isn't home, sadly. Boo. I was going to try and see him in Austin, but he did offer me his fancy little condo or whatever you want to call it. But, you know, his place is nice. But I'm in and out so fast. It's like saying to an Airbnb, I don't want to learn how to use your coffee maker. Right. I think it probably comes with an assistant. Ron's a not, not when he's gone.

[01:54:26] [SPEAKER_03] When he's home. No. Not when he's gone. I'll just be left there going, how do I turn this air conditioning up? Fuck, it's so fucking hot. So hot. No, it's a very sweet offer. If his dog was there, I would do it. Go hang out with Maddie, named after me. Nice. Thank you very much. Maddie Madigan. Maddie Madigan. Yeah. All right, Terrence. So really, fire. Fire. Hold on. Happy NFL season. Happy. Good luck. Happy college football. Mm-hmm. Happy NFL starting.

[01:54:56] [SPEAKER_03] Tennis fans, you're going to be real sad. Lorene's already preparing for the meltdown. It's the last major of the year. Sorry. Golf's over. Baseball's just heating up.

[01:55:07] [SPEAKER_06] But we can start playing golf.

[01:55:08] [SPEAKER_03] And then, right.

[01:55:09] [SPEAKER_06] Because it's not a thousand degrees.

[01:55:10] [SPEAKER_03] Because it's not a thousand. I don't have a heat stroke on the eighth hole and I don't know why.

[01:55:14] [SPEAKER_06] Pinky Tito's probably ready to go.

[01:55:16] [SPEAKER_03] Pinky Tito, he's good in the heat, too. He's more Southern than I am. He doesn't care at all. It could be 100. Hey, you want to play in my friend's golf tournament? No. You psycho.

[01:55:29] [SPEAKER_04] It's 104.

[01:55:30] [SPEAKER_03] It's 100 in a golf tournament. It's going to take all day. All day. How long was your round? Seven and a half hours? Oh. How'd you play? I don't know. I was drunk by the third hole. We got drunk. Oh, my God. And drunk again. Re-drunk. I got re-drunk. Oh, my God. No, I can't do that. Even if they're best ball. It doesn't matter. I'm not. Odds are you don't need to invite me into a golf tournament because odds are I'm going to say no. And then people go, there's one on TV. They've invited you to be.

[01:55:59] [SPEAKER_03] Why don't you go to the one on TV? You're never going to see me. No. They'll show me one time. Yes. And even if they did show me every shot, I don't. It's too boring. It's terrible.

[01:56:09] [SPEAKER_06] Confirmed.

[01:56:10] [SPEAKER_03] They should do nine holes and then a fun hole speed golf. One hole of speed golf that's right near the clubhouse. So everybody can have a drink and watch the speed hole. That's all you got to do. It's so easy. The 18 holes is out of hand. Yeah. I'll complete the golf course. There's a public course by my house and they had a tournament. They have two courses and they had one tournament on one, not on the other. I'm playing on the other with Mark. I go, oh, I go, did they all just go out? He goes, yep. Eight o'clock shotgun start. And they're all corralled after six hours.

[01:56:40] [SPEAKER_03] And I said, six hours. He said, oh, they're still out there. He goes, we start booking tee times at that time when they should be finished. Just regular Joe blows can come like me and go pay and play. He goes, we need them off the course. Yeah. And they can't manage it. I said, well, that's a problem. Everybody gets, not everybody, but a lot of people get their drink on out there and then they lose track of time. The PGA is looking at doing, what is it?

[01:57:08] [SPEAKER_06] Four holes.

[01:57:09] [SPEAKER_03] You can't do that.

[01:57:10] [SPEAKER_06] Four hole rounds.

[01:57:11] [SPEAKER_03] You can't do four, four. So you can go play. You can't. The clubhouse is in the wrong place. There's no turnaround. Your cart will be going the wrong way. I'm sorry.

[01:57:17] [SPEAKER_06] I'm sorry. Six holes.

[01:57:18] [SPEAKER_03] Even just as bad. It's the same. So you can score it. It's too late. Should have planned that a long, long time. I'm going to go. The bathrooms aren't there. The turnaround's not there. I don't care if you go forward or backwards. You're going against the grain. All you'll hear is, beep. Beep. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm quitting. Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. No, I'm not playing. I'm not butting in front of you. I'm just going to go. The clubhouse is that way. Right. It's going to go in front of you.

[01:57:45] [SPEAKER_06] Have you seen a green Titleist ball? Oh, my God. It's my friend, Pinky's. Jesus Christ. Have fun in Texas.

[01:57:53] [SPEAKER_03] Everyone, this is how you know you're playing with someone that's not old. They have a white golf ball. Right. All my old people friends. I can't see that anymore. And then they whip out shit that looks like they stole it. Did you steal that from Minor Mike's putt-putt golf? I think you did. These colors. I'm like, if I ever. I found it in the lake. What? I'm never. I, yeah. I saw, I told my friend, Nicole, because she had a ball retriever. Somebody did. Was it Nicole? It was Nicole.

[01:58:22] [SPEAKER_03] She's real excited about it. I'm like, if we go to a five-story golf resort, you can't bring that. Because everyone knows that means you're a terrible golfer. Yeah. And you're going to spend hours trying to get that one ball you can kind of reach with that ball retriever. Let it go. At the very most, it's $3. It's probably your pink, hot pink one, probably a buck 50. Yep. Let it go. All right, Terrence, that's it. Night-night Terrence.

[01:58:52] [SPEAKER_07] Night-night Terrence.

[01:58:53] [SPEAKER_05] Wow.

[01:58:54] [SPEAKER_03] Rabbit hole.