The Gift of Grace - Shielding From Hurt and Inspiring New Growth

[00:00:01] Hey, I'm Amy Chang. I'm a nationally board-certified health and wellness coach and this is Healthy AF. In this podcast, I'll be bringing you all things health, from the newest health strategies to how to tackle those personal roadblocks that just will not let you move forward. So buckle in. We're going to be inspired and instructed and dadgum we're going to have a little fun on Healthy AF.

[00:00:25] Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Healthy AF. This is actually my third episode in a row that we're talking about looking for the truth, trying new things and taking a risk, and how grace plays in with that. Okay, so we all started this conversation because it's the CrossFit Open Time.

[00:00:48] And the CrossFit Open Time is a time where people really get a better idea of how well they move, or perhaps how poorly they move, and also try new things. It's so exciting. So, how do you not get crushed?

[00:01:10] How do you not get completely crushed when you look truthfully at what you can and cannot do, and risk something by trying new things? How do you not get crushed and or bloated with success? Well, let's bring in some grace. Now I've hinted to grace in the other two episodes.

[00:01:36] I've hinted to grace that grace is important, that every time you really look for truth and do soul searching, you need to wrap yourself in that blanket of grace. Grace is found in community. There are like, we could talk for four years about grace and all the positive, protective attributes of utilizing grace.

[00:02:01] Grace, not seeing it laying over there in the corner or allowing other people to have grace, but actually utilizing grace for your own self growth. Okay. So let's just continue on with the CrossFit analogy because it's easy for me. And I know probably a lot of people who listen to this podcast have thought about it, seen it, or done it before. CrossFit Open comes around and you're doing a workout.

[00:02:30] You think you, your squats are great, but actually the coach beside you is like no repping your squats. So you've done about 75 squats, but only actually 50 count. There's an ego below for you. So that's one. And then you come up against a brand new movement. Let's say it's a double under where you jump rope, but the rope goes under your feet twice. And you've never been able to do that before.

[00:02:59] And you try to do it. And you've only got two minutes left in the workout and you try it again. And then you almost have it. And then no, you never get one. Okay. So there it is. We've gotten honest about our performance. We think going into the workout that we're on top of the world and the greatest athlete ever. And actually, when we look at our standing in the gym, we're on the bottom third.

[00:03:29] And we didn't do that double under. Hmm. Where are we at now? Are we wrecked? What's that ego feeling like? What are the thoughts we're having? I can tell you some of the thoughts that I hear people have because they say them out loud. Sometimes they say that judge was unfair.

[00:03:55] I know that my hip was below my knee on at least, you know, 60 of those reps. Well, I don't know why that judge was so hard on me. I watched that other girl over there doing her butt wasn't low enough. Yeah. Yeah. Right. There are so many ways we hide when our ego gets bruised, the blame. You know, I don't think she's right. I know my, I know my butt got lower.

[00:04:25] Or the confusion. I just don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. Normally my squats are so low. No, they are not. I watch you squat in the gym every day. They are not. Yeah. When that ego takes a hit, what do we do? And how do we just accept that what happened happened?

[00:04:49] And what happened was I risked trying a new movement and I did not do that movement. And what happened was I did a movement that I didn't think was risky. I thought that I had it pretty covered and I did not do it well. That is the truth. I did not do that movement well. I did not complete my, the new movement that I wanted to do. And I'm in the bottom third at the gym.

[00:05:20] So when you have that ego blow, how do you stay in growth? How do you stay moving forward and not stuck in, well, she judged me wrong and this workout was stupid and I really don't like CrossFit anyway. You go into grace. You go into grace.

[00:05:44] You go into the grace that allows you to accept that you are in this moment right exactly where you are. You are a person who squats and sometimes misses the mark. Okay. Great. Let that end right there, period. Because what we do without grace is we don't let there be a period right there.

[00:06:11] I'm a person who squats and sometimes misses the mark, period. We don't let that be a period. Without grace, we go to, I'm a person who sometimes does not squat deep enough, which means I'm a horrible athlete and I'll never be competitive enough. And that other girl is better than me and I don't belong here. That's just our human brains, just our wiring, just our survival, our get me out of here.

[00:06:40] This is painful. That's just all that, man. But with grace, with that connectivity to whatever you're connected to that's bigger than you, that spirituality that lives in here has nothing to do with religion. But that spirituality that lives in here that tells you you're worth it no matter what, you can just put a period there. Yeah, I'm a person who sometimes squats and misses the mark, period.

[00:07:12] Okay. Now, the beautiful thing about using grace and how it applies to growth is that you don't have to stay there. You don't have to stay a person who misses the mark on your squats. But for right now, that's where you are.

[00:07:32] So you got to accept where you are with a period on the end of that sentence and then decide what you want to risk moving forward. Do you want to risk working with a trainer to really see where your butt goes every time? Do you want to start squatting to a target? Do you want to start videoing your squats? Do you want to start having a friend just watch that hip periodically through your workouts? What do you want to do? What do you want to risk?

[00:08:02] What do you want to try newly to move yourself forward into that growth? You see how grace comes in there? Grace allows us to accept right where we are. And I'll tell you right now, there are so many uncomfortable places I have been. The truth is that when I put on my springtime shorts right now, they are saying like, girl, we not fitting.

[00:08:33] And man, I got you want to talk about a period at the end of a sentence. The sentence is my shorts don't fit well right now. And there should be a period there. But in all honesty, I've got 50 years worth of my shorts don't fit right now. Oh, my gosh, I'm going to have to buy all new clothes. This is so uncomfortable. I look unattractive.

[00:09:03] How am I? Right? Like it's right there. It's like deep 14 chapters worth of not good enough, frankly. Instead of just having a little period like, oh, for today, my shorts are too tight, period. And giving myself some grace around that.

[00:09:25] But, you know, the other thing that letting that period be there and wrapping that little burrito roll up in some grace is it allows me to try something new. It allows me to choose. Do I want these shorts to fit?

[00:09:53] What am I willing to do to get them to fit? And P.S., just because these shorts fit in another three weeks doesn't mean I'm any better than I am right now. That's the truth. It means my shorts now fit, period. It does not mean my shorts now fit. Now I can be a person who everybody likes and they admire because I have a fit body. No.

[00:10:25] Now I'll be liked. Now I'll belong. No. That's not what that means. It means my shorts now fit, period. And grace allows us to do this. So we find grace in the depths of our spirituality. It's not what lives in our head. It's not. It's so counterintuitive.

[00:10:54] So counterintuitive. It's what lives deep inside. And we might say that we have a belief, but do we use it? Or are we still a slave to those thoughts that are running in our heads? Because those thoughts are not true. That whole I don't belong. I'm not a good person. I'm not enough. I'm not skinny enough. Pretty enough. Well read enough. Educated enough. I don't have enough letters behind my name. I'm not strong enough. I'm not fit enough.

[00:11:23] I'm not a good enough mom. I'm not a sexy enough wife. I don't make enough for my family. I'm not a good enough provider. I mean, the list is days long. But you don't have to be a slave to that list. Put a period at the end of your sentence. Look for the truth. Put a period there. Wrap it up in some grace.

[00:11:53] Lots. And try something new. And there's a risk that you're going to fail. There's a risk that your squats aren't going to be good enough and you're not going to make that double under and you're going to be laying on the floor. And this is where grace that works comes in. You got to practice grace, man. It doesn't just come naturally to be graceful with yourself. It might come naturally to be graceful with others. It might not.

[00:12:24] You know, if you're a harsh critic on yourself, you might be a harsh critic on others. But find communities where cultivating that gracefulness with each other, that supportive community that loves you no matter what is intact and growing. And then nurture that. If you can't give grace to yourself, go give it to somebody else.

[00:12:51] Get used to the practice of, wow, when you've done miserably on a workout, good job. I saw you work. You're a person who misses half their squats. Period. Love you. See you tomorrow. Yeah. Practice that. And see if you can't give that to yourself.

[00:13:14] On the flip side, there are going to be days where you hit every single one of your squats like a champ. And when you try that new movement, you kill it. Give yourself grace then too. Because what that doesn't mean is that you belong and you're liked and you're loved.

[00:13:37] It just means that you're a person who hit their squats and was successful in that new movement. Period. Wrap that up in grace. Try some more new things. I hope this three show sort of linear progression of looking at the truth, trying new things and taking risks,

[00:14:07] and wrapping all that in grace and how we cultivate grace through community has been helpful to you. I wish I had such a clear vision of how to love myself through growing up when I was 40. So I hope this has brought something to you.

[00:14:33] Don't forget to look truthfully, take new risks, and also give yourself some grace, preferably in a community that is also graceful. And I will see you next time on Healthy AF. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Healthy AF Podcast. I hope that it has helped you create a new possibility for your health and sets you into action to go get it.

[00:15:02] If you want more information or if you want to connect with me, visit my website at myhealthylife.coach. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so that each new Healthy AF episode will be sent directly to you. Let's take you from where you are to where you want to go.