Surviving the Big Bad Week - A Two-Part Journey - Part 1: The S%$t Show

[00:00:02] What you want, when you want it, where you want it. This is The MESH. Hey, I'm Amy Chang. I'm a nationally board-certified health and wellness coach and this is Healthy AF. In this podcast, I'll be bringing you all things health, from the newest health strategies to how to tackle those personal roadblocks that just will not let you move forward.

[00:00:26] So buckle in. We're going to be inspired and instructed and dadgum, we're going to have a little fun on Healthy AF. Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Healthy AF. This one is, it may or may not be a two-parter, I don't know. I got hung up in a really bad week. The title of this podcast may be, The Really Bad Week.

[00:00:53] This week was a lot of lifing. A lot of things happened for me. And I had an opportunity to work with my coach and unravel slash unpack some challenging feelings.

[00:01:21] And I wanted to share them here. Because I know that some of you listening are also having challenging weeks. And I also know that there's things to unpack around those challenging weeks that we don't always recognize.

[00:01:44] And pulling them up into the surface and looking at them is where we begin to step back into our power. And back into working inside our commitments and not just staying in the doing, doing, doing, busy, busy, busy, go, go, go. And I never realize how I'm feeling or what I'm doing.

[00:02:15] Why is that important to a health coach? It's important to a health coach because when you come and you say, I'm going to eat salads every day for a week. And you accomplish that. And you lose all the weight you want to lose. And then in two years, you're back up to the same weight. Or you lose all the weight you're going to lose. And then you're like, why do I still feel crappy?

[00:02:42] That's where my work as a health coach and my work as a, we've got to pull your head out of your butt and get honest about some things, coach. Weave in.

[00:02:58] Because the things you won't look at in your life because you're either running too fast or because they're too painful and you don't want to see them are the things that have you pick up the donuts and the beer and the work too much, not paying attention to what's really important to you. So let's just jump in to my really hard week.

[00:03:25] Okay, we're going to start with Wednesday. This is a long story. I'm not going to rush it. So just like relax and get ready for an old good front porch southern tail sitting with the rocking chairs and maybe a glass of sweet tea. It's Wednesday. I wake up and I'm tired. And I'm kind of quiet. And I make my way to the gym.

[00:03:54] And I'm quiet at the gym, which is weird. Because I'm the one who's talking through the whole like, hey, what are you doing? What's going on? Everybody's trying to warm up. And I'm walking around checking everybody out. And I'm just quiet. And in fact, I'm so quiet that my classmates are like, Amy's quiet today. I'm like, yeah, I'm really tired. I'm like, I've had a lot of stuff. I'm really tired.

[00:04:23] And I just went ahead and did my workout. And I noticed in my workout, my body was a little tired. And I'm like, man, more tired than I thought I was. I mean, I thought I slept pretty well last night. But I could just feel it. I was just a little bit tired, a little bit upset. Wasn't quite sure why. But I knew I'd had a lot going on.

[00:04:44] Well, that morning I had, before going to the gym at 7, I'd had the oil light in my car come on. And knowing that I had a trip coming up this weekend, I called the mechanic right away and said, listen, my oil light's on. It shouldn't be on. I don't see any leaks. But I'm going to have to have this checked like now. So I dropped the car off before I went to the gym. Walked to the gym. Did my workout. Was sort of stranded at the gym.

[00:05:12] But it was okay because I brought my laptop so I could do my 9 o'clock meeting. Did my 9 o'clock meeting. Treated myself with a cup of coffee from the coffee shop down the street. They put a little design on top. And that always makes me feel happy. So I had not had a horrible morning. Finally got a call from the mechanic. Said, yeah, we just didn't reset the light. Great, great last time. So you're all set to go. No charge. Fantastic. I walked back over there.

[00:05:39] And it's right at 11 o'clock. And that's my time for my coaching session with my coach. And so I'm sitting in my car in the parking lot of the mechanic. Focused in and ready to have my coaching session. And she says, hey, Amy, how's your week been? And I could feel the tears coming up.

[00:06:10] And I started telling her about the week. So let's just start about two weeks ago. When both my personal credit card and my business credit card got fraudulent charges on them from my business Instagram account and my business Facebook account.

[00:06:34] I got a call actually from one of the people I work who do my marketing Thursday night at like six o'clock one night. Hey, there's all these charges on here and I don't know what's going on. So I was thrust into this whole like crap. It's my credit cards. It's through my business, which means it's through meta business system something. And I have no idea how to fix it.

[00:07:04] I'm locked out of my account. Totally outside of my comfort zone. Okay. This is stuff that I do not like dealing with. I live somewhere in the like panicky. I don't know how to do it. And the why don't they just have an eight flipping hundred number where I can call somebody and talk to a real life person instead of chatting with somebody that her name is Susie. But I don't really know if she is actually alive or if she's an AI person.

[00:07:33] Yes, I'm 52. So it started there. And the credit cards taken forever to get back in and then having to redo all the subscriptions, right? All that lifey stuff. And then fast forward to Sunday. My heat went out. Okay. So my heat goes out.

[00:07:58] Monday, I call the technician who is great, comes on time and looks at the system and is like, yeah, we can't fix that. It's time to get a new one. And I knew, you know, I'd been kicking it down the road a couple years, fixing it here or there. And I knew that at some point I was going to have to replace it. Well, this week was the week. Okay. So I had another person come and give me a quote.

[00:08:23] And because I am learning to be grown up, I said, great, thank you for your quote. I'm going to get at least one more. And I called another company and got a quote. And then I called another company and got a quote. And in the midst of that, I was calling my financial advisor to see like, can we pay for this? How can we pay for this? Is this okay? How much money do I need to spend? And also just in general talk through like, oh my gosh, I've got this big, huge decision coming up.

[00:08:52] And it needs to happen now. My house is 52 degrees and I'm leaving on a mission trip for 12 days on Saturday. And I'm starting a brand new group for women's coaching on Tuesday night. It was a lot. It was a lot. So all day, Monday and Tuesday, I kept the fire going.

[00:09:22] And if you have ever tried to heat your house with a fire, you know what that's like. I don't have any kind of stove. So it's just a fireplace. That means you're going out to the wood stack and getting the wood and bringing it in and building the fire and stoking it. And you're messing with that heat source about every 15 to 30 minutes. And if your wood's burning good, which mine was, you're burning through wood, which means you're hitting the wood stack.

[00:09:52] I don't know, seven, eight times a day trying to keep that fire going. That means for me, one arm holding wood, one arm grabbing wood and stacking so that you have that one arm free to do the sliding glass door. And then you're telling the dogs like, watch out, watch it, scoot back, watch out, scooch back.

[00:10:14] And then trying to close the door behind you and then trying to unload the stacked wood carefully, you know, so you don't drop it on a cat or a dog or something. It was like death by a thousand paper cuts. It was not pleasant. It was adulting through the roof between the credit card fraudulent stuff.

[00:10:41] And then right on the heels of that, the heat going out and having to run the fire and make sure the house was workable. And then having that group start on Tuesday. And spoiler alert, that group went great. It was fabulous. I sat by the fire.

[00:11:03] We had a great group of five courageous, brave, willing women just show up like little hurricanes ready to go. It was a fabulous time. And on Wednesday, when I finally slowed down, I was exhausted. I was completely exhausted.

[00:11:27] And I'm sitting in my suburban having a coaching session with my coach. And I'm telling her all these things that have gone on. And I'm telling her about the trip that I've got coming up that I'm really feeling, I'm just going to say fearful. I'm just feeling fearful about it. There's a lot of unknowns. I'm not quite sure who I'm going with. I know one friend, but I don't know anybody else. It's we're all flying in at a different time.

[00:11:56] I'm like hoping they pick me up on the shuttle. There's just a lot of things that I had not taken the time to research. And if we're brand new, I'm going to a different country. You know, it was a lot, a lot of unknown. And I was telling this to my coach. And I said, you know what? I've handled so much stuff this week. And I'm so proud of the way I've handled it.

[00:12:23] And I'm really proud of the way I coached that group coaching course Tuesday night by my fireplace in my thickest pajamas. And, you know, I'm really proud. And she said, okay, so where are you losing power? And that's a brilliant question. Where are you losing power?

[00:12:52] Because what my mouth was saying was, well, I've had all this and I've done all this and I've called all that and I've arranged all this and I've managed all this and I've adulted, adulted, adulted. I'm really proud. But what she could hear from me is there was a but. There was a reason why I was feeling tired and exhausted and worn out.

[00:13:16] It was not the, I've just done 40, 11 things that I'm really proud of and I'm exhilarated and I'm tired and I need to rest, but I'm stoked. It was not that. It was, I've just made it through this thing, but I don't know. So she asked, where are you losing your power? And I coughed it up.

[00:13:47] I said, I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed in myself. And it surprised me. I didn't even really know what it was about. And she, like all good coaches do, said, you're disappointed about something.

[00:14:16] And I said, yeah, I just, I'm just really surprised that I feel like this, like tired. And I mean, I guess I've done a lot of stuff, but, and then I started diminishing myself. But I didn't even have a full schedule on Monday. I mean, all I had was that one meeting and then like, even on Tuesday, like I didn't have a lot of, so I don't know why it was so hard.

[00:14:44] I don't know, I don't know why I'm so tired and I don't know why it was so hard. The diminishing. It was hard because you had to do 18, 11 things that were unexpected and unpleasant in 48 hours so that you go on a trip that you're not ready for. Ding dong. And start a new project at work. But I did not see that.

[00:15:10] And so after I finished diminishing myself, like, I don't know why I should feel so tired. She said, so what's there for you that is hard?

[00:15:31] And y'all, the words came out of my mouth and they were painful for my ears to hear them. So I'm glad my brain didn't have to think about it too much. And the words that I said, what was hard about it all?

[00:15:52] It was hard because the feelings that were coming up that I had been ignoring while I had been calling 14 places were, I don't want to do this by myself. I hate doing this without a partner.

[00:16:18] I don't want to say, I need a man because I don't. And I don't want to say, gosh, this is just so lonely. And I would rather do this with a conversation about, with another human being. I didn't want to say that I needed someone.

[00:16:48] So why did I not want to say that? I didn't want to say that because I have it in the little world that lives in my brain. That if I admit that when times are tough, it feels better to have a friend, roommate, partner, someone, other grown up, to be around just to talk to,

[00:17:17] that that makes me weak and dependent. And that is not true. But that's a painful place for me. And it lives up here between my ears somewhere. And so I sat there in my suburban after being disappointed in myself

[00:17:44] for having some feelings that I did not want to have, that I was a little ashamed about, and diminishing myself in the meantime, that I shouldn't be tired and shouldn't be having these feelings.

[00:18:03] And thank God I am willing to be honest with myself. I am willing to open up to another human being so that they can help me see what might have been missing in all of that.

[00:18:30] And like every good coach, she helped me see what was missing. Compassion. Appreciation. I couldn't, at that moment, be compassionate toward myself.

[00:18:54] I didn't have it inside me to put down that old story of, well, if you can't do it by yourself, then you're not strong enough or independent enough or you're weak. I could not put that down by myself. I didn't even know it was there. I did not see that it was running my show.

[00:19:22] I did not see that it was making me tired and worn out and feel a little bit, well, a lot drained. I could not see that. And I surely couldn't accept that it was what it was and that it wasn't true and that actually it's okay when life gets really lifey

[00:19:52] to think or to say, gosh, I really want somebody to help me out. Can you just like have a conversation about this? Can I just have a hug? It was a big moment for me on Wednesday. I've had a few in probably the last month or two where I have realized,

[00:20:19] wow, my self-compassion really stinks. My diminishing and my disappointment in myself is great. That's a strong muscle. Diminishing what I've accomplished is a real strong muscle. But the compassion muscle is newly building.

[00:20:47] And that's where I'm going to leave this story right now. I'm wondering if some of you can relate to having a week that is a busy, lots of decisions, little bit of scarcity and fear, little bit, a lot of timeline, deadline timelines, and just feeling worn out

[00:21:16] and having a case of the shoulds, how you should have handled it, how you should have felt and not having much compassion. And if you can relate to that, hang on until next week because part two of this podcast is going to be the resolution of the story of the bad week. I'll see y'all then. Please start practicing your grace and your compassion now.

[00:21:44] And join me next time on Healthy AF. See ya. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Healthy AF podcast. I hope that it has helped you create a new possibility for your health and sets you into action to go get it. If you want more information or if you want to connect with me, visit my website at myhealthylife.coach. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button

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