Healthy AF Friendsgiving! Clarity and Sobriety with Emily Allen

[00:00:02] What you want, when you want it, where you want it.

[00:00:06] This is The MESH.

[00:00:09] Hey, I'm Amy Chang.

[00:00:11] I'm a nationally board-certified health and wellness coach, and this is Healthy AF.

[00:00:16] In this podcast, I'll be bringing you all things health,

[00:00:19] from the newest health strategies to how to tackle those personal roadblocks

[00:00:23] that just will not let you move forward.

[00:00:27] So buckle in.

[00:00:28] We're going to be inspired and instructed,

[00:00:30] and dadgum, we're going to have a little fun on Healthy AF.

[00:00:35] Hey, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Healthy AF.

[00:00:39] It's Friendsgiving, and I'm so excited to have my friend Emily Allen here.

[00:00:45] Emily and I have had a whirlwind romance with our friendship

[00:00:51] and became fast friends after meeting this summer

[00:00:55] and recently had a fabulous non-alcoholic happy hour that lasted two hours.

[00:01:03] It was fun.

[00:01:05] It was fun.

[00:01:06] And during that happy hour, I was like, why don't you do Friendsgiving?

[00:01:10] This is a great conversation.

[00:01:11] I think people would love this conversation.

[00:01:14] She was like, all right.

[00:01:16] And so here we are.

[00:01:18] So welcome, Emily.

[00:01:19] Thank you.

[00:01:20] I'm very, very happy to be here.

[00:01:22] This is fun.

[00:01:23] Yeah, it is.

[00:01:23] It's fun.

[00:01:24] So first of all, tell us a little bit about you.

[00:01:30] Yes.

[00:01:30] So I am a pharmacist.

[00:01:33] I trade.

[00:01:34] That's what I went to school with and have done since, I guess, almost the last 30 years,

[00:01:39] which is crazy.

[00:01:40] Um, but I became alcohol free January 1st, 2021.

[00:01:44] And it just really shifted a lot of things for me and reevaluating things.

[00:01:52] I realized how much better I felt and kind of focused more on my friendships and developing

[00:02:00] healthy relationships, um, with myself and then with my friends and decided I wanted to

[00:02:05] become an alcohol free life coach.

[00:02:08] So I just completed in September, um, a five times certification.

[00:02:16] I got an alcohol free life coach, success coaching, mindset coaching, NLP and hypnosis.

[00:02:23] What's NLP?

[00:02:25] NLP is neuro-linguistic programming.

[00:02:27] And it is, it's ways that our brains process information.

[00:02:33] And so it's sort of like deals with past memories and how we can kind of go into those and change,

[00:02:40] not, you know, change things to make, um, limiting beliefs go away basically to like really

[00:02:48] get into that.

[00:02:49] So it's, there's several different components of it.

[00:02:51] It was pretty, um, complicated, but kind of, I had no idea what it was going into it.

[00:02:56] So it was interesting to learn a lot.

[00:02:59] Yeah.

[00:03:00] I call NLP the poopy stink stink.

[00:03:03] That is what we're believing that's keeping us away from doing anything pertinent in our

[00:03:10] lives and what we want to do.

[00:03:11] Yeah.

[00:03:12] I just call that the poopy stink stink.

[00:03:13] Yeah.

[00:03:14] Yeah.

[00:03:16] So once I, um, yeah, I completed that, I'm still in the same program.

[00:03:20] It wraps up in January.

[00:03:22] Um, and now I'm also in a, in with a business coach and getting ready to start practice, start

[00:03:28] working on my group course that I want to be able to launch hopefully by the May of 2025.

[00:03:35] Um, and that will be a online group course focusing on alcohol free lifestyle kind of geared towards

[00:03:45] women who realize they've outgrown the mommy wine culture that they maybe have been involved

[00:03:52] in with their, you know, as they had young children, this thing, the thing that I did

[00:03:56] is I would have friends that I would drink with.

[00:03:58] Right.

[00:03:58] So we would have the kids go out for mom's nights out or even have, you know, wine at like

[00:04:06] play dates and birthday parties and all of that.

[00:04:09] So just that whole mommy wine culture, it becomes a way to socialize, but I want to be

[00:04:15] able to provide women with another Avenue and some other options and just to kind of rethink

[00:04:20] that part of their life and, um, and hopefully find a whole new freedom, which is what, which

[00:04:28] is what I've found.

[00:04:30] So that's my goal.

[00:04:31] Yeah.

[00:04:32] I love that.

[00:04:33] I love that journey.

[00:04:34] Um, and you know, you and I have talked more about, um, what you've discovered while you've

[00:04:43] been on that journey.

[00:04:45] And that's why you're on the podcast for Friendsgiving because many, many of my friends, thankfully,

[00:04:53] you know, I've surrounded myself with people who are willing to grow and willing to, um,

[00:05:00] evolve and transform.

[00:05:02] You know, I was, I was actually just reading in the, um, book we're doing for book club.

[00:05:07] It's a Renee Brown book, Rising Strong.

[00:05:09] And she was saying there's a evolution, but there's also, um, a revolution where a revolution

[00:05:19] in your patterns, your lifestyle, your beliefs isn't easy and flowing.

[00:05:26] And it's one of those, like, no, you, you earned it.

[00:05:30] You had to fight for it, you know, and I knocked over my water.

[00:05:36] Um, and so many of, uh, my friends have been through both evolution and revolution.

[00:05:43] And, um, when I heard, first heard your story about mommy wine culture becoming something

[00:05:50] that you were, um, I don't want to say wrapped up in.

[00:05:56] It's fair.

[00:05:57] Yeah.

[00:05:58] It is.

[00:05:58] Okay.

[00:05:58] All right.

[00:05:59] Wrapped up in, uh, norm, normalized.

[00:06:02] Yes.

[00:06:03] Yeah.

[00:06:03] Um, and then you're not drastic, but your decision of like, I'm not doing this.

[00:06:13] Yeah.

[00:06:14] Yeah.

[00:06:15] And it wasn't at first when I decided I wanted to just try to stop drinking, I did like dry

[00:06:22] January and I really had no idea if I would make it, you know, past day two.

[00:06:26] Like I had not, not had a drink for a, you know, a stretch of time for, I mean, I couldn't

[00:06:33] even tell you how it went.

[00:06:34] Cause I just, yeah, I mean, I pretty much drank every, every evening.

[00:06:40] So I thought, gosh, will I even be able to do this?

[00:06:43] And, um, I didn't really tell anybody first because I kind of didn't think I would be on

[00:06:48] the down low.

[00:06:49] Oh my gosh.

[00:06:50] Yeah.

[00:06:50] Cause I was thinking if I would, I was afraid I would be embarrassed if I couldn't do it,

[00:06:56] you know?

[00:06:57] So I, um, yeah.

[00:06:59] And then once I had gotten past three weeks, I was like, holy smokes.

[00:07:05] I just felt so much better.

[00:07:06] I couldn't believe how much better I felt.

[00:07:09] And, and so, yeah.

[00:07:11] And then I started telling people, you know, cause then after January is over with and you're,

[00:07:15] you know, people might be like, Hey, you want to go out?

[00:07:17] And I'm like, I'm not drinking anymore.

[00:07:20] I'm doing January.

[00:07:21] I'm going to just keep going.

[00:07:23] And, um, and then, yeah, I just kept going, but it wasn't, I don't think I really realized

[00:07:31] what I was kind of pulling myself out of until I was out of it.

[00:07:36] And at the time I wasn't like, Oh wow.

[00:07:39] You know, I'm, I started doing this when I had young kids and it was way to socialize.

[00:07:45] And now I'm still doing it, even though I'm not even necessarily socializing sometimes,

[00:07:48] you know, I'm drinking at home alone.

[00:07:51] Um, but I was so just, I think didn't want to see it as what it was.

[00:07:59] And so, but once I also probably when I hit that three weeks and got out of it and realized,

[00:08:05] wow, I don't need alcohol to be able to relax.

[00:08:10] Cause it did not relax me.

[00:08:11] You know, once I figured it out, I was like, no, it made me anxious and irritable.

[00:08:16] Um, so yeah, it wasn't, I can't say that I was totally aware of what I was enmeshed in

[00:08:25] at the time.

[00:08:26] It sort of took me getting out of it to see it.

[00:08:28] Oh yeah.

[00:08:28] I love that because, uh, yeah, when we're enmeshed, we don't, we don't see it.

[00:08:34] Yeah.

[00:08:34] We get a little delusional and we live in denial about some stuff and, you know, and, and that's

[00:08:41] just the way that goes with, with anything, especially those things that we have, um, wrapped

[00:08:48] so much in our identities.

[00:08:51] Mm-hmm.

[00:08:52] You know, whether it's smoking, my aunt, uh, was a smoker and she was very much like that,

[00:08:57] you know?

[00:08:58] Yeah.

[00:08:58] And we'll sit there and lean over the table, you know, to breathe.

[00:09:02] And, you know, her mom had emphysema and the COPD and whatnot, and she was always getting

[00:09:08] bronchitis and stuff, but there wasn't like a willingness to see that.

[00:09:14] I had been totally in denial in some relationships and, you know, like what's really healthy for

[00:09:21] me and what's not, you know, even parenting.

[00:09:24] Like once I start hearing myself giving excuses for my kids' behaviors, I'm like, oh girl,

[00:09:31] you're going into delusional denial there.

[00:09:35] And, um, yeah, I mean, it happens.

[00:09:38] It's just hard waking up to what we're actually doing.

[00:09:42] Yeah.

[00:09:43] And the way the culture just normalizes it, like you said earlier, I mean, it's, it's

[00:09:48] almost like expected that this is what you do.

[00:09:50] I mean, for God's sakes, we have tea towels.

[00:09:52] Yes.

[00:09:53] That are like mommy learned time.

[00:09:54] Yeah.

[00:09:54] Yeah.

[00:09:56] Yeah.

[00:09:56] Yeah.

[00:09:56] So yeah, I had to get out of, get out of it to be able to sort of see what it was.

[00:10:02] And then once I started reading some, you know, they call them quit lit books for books about,

[00:10:08] you know, when you're first starting to stop drinking that a couple of the books I read

[00:10:14] really just like exposed the wine culture for what it is or the alcohol industry basically.

[00:10:20] And it was things I had, and just like the, it was with the cigarette industry, you know,

[00:10:25] back when they could have it in the commercials and they would, they would gear a lot of those

[00:10:30] commercials to children.

[00:10:31] And the way that alcohol industry is kind of zoned in on women is kind of sickening.

[00:10:39] Yeah.

[00:10:40] Okay.

[00:10:40] I'm just going to say right now for all the listeners, this is such a hot box, hot button,

[00:10:50] sorry, hot button, soap box topic for me.

[00:10:54] And, uh, I'm going to really work hard to self-manage over here so that I don't get like real self-righteous

[00:11:02] and angry.

[00:11:05] It is hard because I see it in my clients from the very smallest, um, impact of, you know,

[00:11:15] they're trying to make dietary changes and, or sleep changes or whatever it is.

[00:11:21] And like that cocktail at night is the thing that's making the decision to go and have that

[00:11:28] second piece of pizza at 11 P before they go to bed.

[00:11:32] Or it's that thing that's lulling them to sleep on the couch, um, you know, at nine 30 and then

[00:11:39] wake up at two and get up and go to bed.

[00:11:42] Right.

[00:11:42] All of these sort of poopy patterns, that influence of alcohol.

[00:11:48] I see it from, from that point all the way up to like, really there is alcoholic drinking

[00:11:56] and the impact that that has on everything from relationships to like your body.

[00:12:05] The fact that your tummy is always upset or you've got that diarrhea all the time,

[00:12:11] or you don't know why, you know, you're having neurologic issues in your extremities or, you

[00:12:18] know, all the, the things that sort of alcohol can bring us.

[00:12:24] Yeah.

[00:12:25] So I'm, I'm going to manage myself over here.

[00:12:29] Go ahead, hold back.

[00:12:31] Yeah.

[00:12:32] Well, and, and I, I feel that way with lots of things.

[00:12:35] Like I know a friend of mine started dipping back when he was in college and still struggles

[00:12:42] with it, you know, decades later.

[00:12:43] Right.

[00:12:44] And you know how he got exposed to dipping?

[00:12:47] Um, he was in a frat and the tobacco company set up one of those big, huge, like trash can

[00:12:55] barrels filled with free five, five, five can logs of like the tobacco.

[00:13:04] Gosh.

[00:13:05] And it, and it does, it makes me want to throw a punch.

[00:13:09] Yeah.

[00:13:11] Stop doing this, especially to our children.

[00:13:14] Exactly.

[00:13:15] Uh, you know, I gotta, like, I'm going to have to do some self-care, self-soothing.

[00:13:21] Yeah.

[00:13:22] So there is a, there is definitely a culture and it's being marketed to.

[00:13:28] Yes.

[00:13:29] Yeah.

[00:13:29] They know what they're doing.

[00:13:31] Yeah, they do for sure.

[00:13:33] So I'm interested in these books that you were talking about.

[00:13:37] I, when I quit drinking, um, I just quit.

[00:13:40] It was a low hanging fruit for me.

[00:13:43] I didn't have a specific pattern of drinking.

[00:13:45] I wasn't specifically in a culture.

[00:13:49] I think I probably tiptoed in a culture for a year ish or so.

[00:13:55] And then my life shifted and I wasn't really in that culture anymore.

[00:14:00] So it was, it was, I won't say it was easy for me to stop, which was surprising.

[00:14:06] Yeah.

[00:14:06] When I stopped drinking, I was, uh, taken aback at the handful of times.

[00:14:14] Any time from like, oh God, I'd really love a glass of wine.

[00:14:17] It's been a hard day to like, y'all are on my damn nerves.

[00:14:19] I need a mark.

[00:14:23] That surprised me.

[00:14:25] Yeah.

[00:14:26] That surprised me, but it wasn't hard, you know, from, it wasn't, I wasn't enmeshed with

[00:14:31] that as a normal pattern.

[00:14:33] Right, right, right.

[00:14:35] Yeah.

[00:14:35] So tell me about these books.

[00:14:37] Um, I'm trying to think the first one I've read, Annie Grace has, her book is called

[00:14:43] The Staked Mind and it really goes into like the physiology of alcohol and, and goes into

[00:14:51] limiting beliefs.

[00:14:53] Um, it was a really powerful first book to read.

[00:14:57] I was like, I mean, basically after I finished reading that book, I was like, well, I never

[00:15:01] want to drink again.

[00:15:02] Like it was really just powerful.

[00:15:05] We'll put all these books, by the way, in the show notes with links.

[00:15:08] Yeah.

[00:15:09] Okay.

[00:15:09] Yeah.

[00:15:13] I think Holly Whitaker, that was really empowering because she really goes after, I mean, talk

[00:15:18] about getting fired up.

[00:15:19] I mean, she is fired up basically through that whole book.

[00:15:22] You would like, yeah, yeah.

[00:15:25] So, um, that one was, uh, again, very empowering and things I hadn't really thought about before

[00:15:32] until, you know, um, and then I'm trying to think if there was one more that I really

[00:15:39] like now I'm blanking on the name of it.

[00:15:42] Oh gosh.

[00:15:43] Well, you can text it to me if it comes to you.

[00:15:45] Yeah.

[00:15:46] It was written from a mom's perspective.

[00:15:49] She's funny.

[00:15:49] The author is funny.

[00:15:50] So the book was kind of funny.

[00:15:51] It was about, she lives in England and it was her, um, her story of her first few months

[00:15:57] and in the years of it.

[00:16:00] And, um, it was compared to the Holly Whitaker one that was a little bit more intense.

[00:16:06] This one was fun.

[00:16:07] You could relate.

[00:16:08] And by that point I was already so far into my alcohol-free journey that I could just sort

[00:16:12] of enjoy it.

[00:16:13] Um, but I just, those books really did help me through the first, because that's what I

[00:16:20] would start doing in the evenings instead of drinking.

[00:16:23] Great.

[00:16:23] Yeah.

[00:16:24] I'd be like, and I would drink tea, like hot tea and read my books.

[00:16:28] I changed my location.

[00:16:30] Like I would normally be in the kitchen.

[00:16:31] I was like out at once I was done with dinner out of the kitchen and just shifted where I

[00:16:36] was, shifted what I did just to get out of the, the routine that I had been so stuck

[00:16:42] in.

[00:16:42] So all of those things really helped.

[00:16:45] You did all the things.

[00:16:46] Yeah.

[00:16:47] Yeah.

[00:16:47] I had to do it.

[00:16:49] Yeah.

[00:16:50] Yeah.

[00:16:50] Yeah.

[00:16:50] Yeah.

[00:16:50] Well, you know what?

[00:16:51] That's, that's good to say out loud.

[00:16:53] I appreciate you sharing that because, uh, some people don't have to, they're like, yeah,

[00:16:59] no, I don't want that.

[00:17:00] And some people like you need more support for yourself to take away a habit.

[00:17:07] Maybe you didn't know you were enmeshed with and that's okay.

[00:17:10] Yeah.

[00:17:12] Yeah.

[00:17:12] Yeah.

[00:17:13] So what, um, you know, it surprised me how many times I was like, oh God, margarita.

[00:17:21] What surprised you when you, when you stopped drinking that January, what were some of the

[00:17:29] realizations you had like right off the bat that you were like, oh crap, I did not know

[00:17:33] that I was being impacted in that way.

[00:17:36] Um, the first one was sleep.

[00:17:39] I thought I slept okay.

[00:17:43] Um, and I would sort of be so, you know, I'd have my last drink at like 10 30 and then

[00:17:50] just go to bed.

[00:17:51] Um, but I would wake up at like 3 AM and not always in like a panic, but just sort of like,

[00:18:01] you know, you sort of jolt awake and you're like, you know, what is going on?

[00:18:05] And then your heart would be racing.

[00:18:07] A lot of times then the thoughts would come in like, oh, how many glasses of wine did

[00:18:12] I have last night?

[00:18:13] What, you know, why, why am I doing this?

[00:18:16] Maybe tomorrow I won't have as many.

[00:18:19] And just so those, those thoughts that just creep in at three in the morning.

[00:18:23] Um, so when I stopped and I hadn't, I knew this going into it because I'd kind of read some

[00:18:28] things leading up to my quit date.

[00:18:31] Um, I knew that it was, could be likely that I've had a harder time falling asleep when

[00:18:36] I first stopped and I did.

[00:18:37] So like those first three nights, I would just, you know, I couldn't just fall asleep because

[00:18:43] my body didn't know how to just naturally fall asleep.

[00:18:47] So, but then once I got past that and just fell asleep, just on my own, um, I would sleep

[00:18:54] all the way through the night, wake up and actually feel like good, not have a headache,

[00:18:59] not have dry, you know, dry mouth.

[00:19:02] And just those icky hungover feelings that I used to, that I just kind of thought were normal,

[00:19:09] honestly.

[00:19:10] Yeah.

[00:19:10] You know, because it had been so long.

[00:19:12] So sleep was, that was just great.

[00:19:16] And I didn't a hundred percent know that that's, that that had been affected as much as it had

[00:19:21] been.

[00:19:23] Um, and then how I felt like you mentioned the stomach issues again, I kind of just thought,

[00:19:29] Oh, this is just normal, whatever.

[00:19:33] You know, it wasn't normal.

[00:19:34] And so everything, you know, regulated or however you want to put it.

[00:19:40] And I was like, Oh my gosh.

[00:19:42] Here we say I started pooping right.

[00:19:47] Yeah.

[00:19:48] Yeah.

[00:19:50] And so again, I was like, who knew?

[00:19:53] Who knew?

[00:19:54] Um, and then once I had, I had my six, well, I had my checkup.

[00:20:00] I go, you know, every year I have blood work drawn.

[00:20:02] The last time I had been was in October before I quit in January.

[00:20:06] And my cholesterol was 249 and anything above 200 is high.

[00:20:12] And it had been, it had been high for a while, but it was, that was the highest it had been

[00:20:16] in a while.

[00:20:18] And I was just like, Holy crap.

[00:20:20] But he didn't feel like he needed to start me on an anti-cholesterol or lowering medicine,

[00:20:25] cholesterol lowering medicines yet, but it was definitely like making notes, you know?

[00:20:30] Um, so then quit in January and I went back that next October, my cholesterol dropped 50 points.

[00:20:38] Shoot, you're kidding me.

[00:20:40] And he was like, what?

[00:20:42] And I'd also lost like 20 pounds, you know?

[00:20:44] And so it was, um,

[00:20:48] I'm curious.

[00:20:49] Did you notice anything happened with your triglycerides?

[00:20:52] They were, they were, cause yeah, they were okay.

[00:20:57] Yeah.

[00:20:57] And so, and my liver enzymes miraculously were always okay.

[00:21:02] I don't know how.

[00:21:03] Yeah.

[00:21:04] I've got a real beef with, um, the way we do our lab values because you, and I mean,

[00:21:12] I would assume you and I both know that you can actually be a very heavy drinker and your

[00:21:18] body can be taken the hit and your liver enzymes are fine.

[00:21:22] Yeah.

[00:21:23] Okay.

[00:21:23] Your liver enzymes are fine.

[00:21:25] If you're, if you're, you know, sort of on the fence, if you're concerned about your

[00:21:30] drinking, but you're waiting for your liver enzymes to bump, we're going to be, you know,

[00:21:36] it's going to be a long time.

[00:21:38] Yeah.

[00:21:39] And, uh, the rest of your stuff might be wrecked, um, while you're waiting for those

[00:21:44] liver enzymes to bump.

[00:21:45] If you think you're safe because your liver enzymes are fine, I just want to call like,

[00:21:51] that's some BS right there.

[00:21:53] Yeah.

[00:21:54] And I think that's what I thought because I would be so nervous to see those results.

[00:21:57] I would open up those like, you know, um, yeah.

[00:22:02] So, and they haven't even really like dropped that much.

[00:22:05] I thought, Ooh, they're going to just, I mean, they, they were never bad.

[00:22:08] And then they're, they went down some, but it wasn't like a huge drastic change, but

[00:22:12] the cholesterol showed that, that my liver was not metabolizing cholesterol in the way

[00:22:18] that it should probably.

[00:22:19] Cause I mean, it was so busy trying to metabolize the alcohol.

[00:22:25] I love that.

[00:22:26] You know, I really do appreciate the way you look at, um, your transition from being an everydayer

[00:22:37] to like a not at aller.

[00:22:40] And, um, you know, it'd be real easy to be ugly to yourself or to, you know, and all the

[00:22:50] things that we do that are like, Oh, wow.

[00:22:53] Yeah.

[00:22:54] That was not the wisest decision I could have made or, you know, and I love that, that you

[00:23:00] and I can both like laugh and be like, yeah, thank God your liver's working.

[00:23:04] I mean, it was struggling there for a minute with the cholesterol, but two thumbs up, got

[00:23:07] a liver going.

[00:23:08] Um, exactly.

[00:23:09] And those things regenerate, you know, too.

[00:23:11] So, you know, I worked on the liver transplant team, um, when I was a nurse, one thing that

[00:23:17] I, uh, feel sort of passionate about letting people know when it comes to alcohol is, you

[00:23:24] know, from a nursing perspective, like I had given the assessments before and I had taken

[00:23:32] care of people, alcoholics.

[00:23:34] I had taken care of alcoholics with liver failure because they were in getting liver transplants

[00:23:39] and we were doing living related transplants, which was like the new thing like back in

[00:23:44] the day.

[00:23:45] Okay.

[00:23:45] Where you could just take two thirds of somebody's liver and donate it to another person who needed

[00:23:52] a liver.

[00:23:53] And, um, I had a certain, a certain, um, picture of a person who needed to stop drinking, um,

[00:24:04] for health reasons in my head.

[00:24:07] And that included like elevated liver enzymes, yellow eyeballs, a yellow tint to the skin,

[00:24:15] um, and certain, uh, certain other lab value.

[00:24:20] We were always running banana bags on them cause their vitamins sucked cause they couldn't absorb

[00:24:25] anything through their gut.

[00:24:26] But that's really like way over here.

[00:24:30] Yeah.

[00:24:31] And so to me, I didn't know, like I'm hurting my body with alcohol could look like my cholesterol

[00:24:39] is high and my liver enzymes are fine and I don't sleep great, but I'm okay.

[00:24:44] I don't poop great, but it's all right.

[00:24:47] You know, like I didn't know that I was just like, Oh, that person getting the liver transplant,

[00:24:51] he's an alcoholic.

[00:24:52] Yeah.

[00:24:53] But I didn't know that like, Oh, alcohol is affecting the body over here.

[00:24:57] And I think that's what had me quit is that I just realized, you know, Amy, there's just

[00:25:02] no, um, there's no benefit to me drinking.

[00:25:07] And, um, there's actually harm when you look at my genetic profile.

[00:25:12] I think, I think everybody, that's my personal opinion.

[00:25:15] That is not a, I have no research to say it is harmful to everyone, but I will say,

[00:25:21] I know it's harmful for my brain and I'm, I'm okay with, without it.

[00:25:26] Yeah.

[00:25:27] Yeah.

[00:25:27] And the more that, you know, we talk like meeting when I met you, I don't think I, I don't

[00:25:34] don't know if I knew right away that you were a non-drinker.

[00:25:37] I mean, I'm sure it came up soon after, cause I'm probably told you right away, but being

[00:25:42] able to just like talk about these things with, and with, you know, with other women

[00:25:45] and just supporting each other.

[00:25:48] That's the, that's the, like, that's what I really feel like I'm sort of called to do

[00:25:54] is just bring, bring women together and support each other and talk about it.

[00:26:00] And, you know, and not everybody has to be ready to quit right then, but just to be open

[00:26:05] to, um, learning more about it or, you know, if you have questions because it is, it was

[00:26:12] a daunting experience.

[00:26:14] I mean, I was doing it basically on my own.

[00:26:17] Like I said, I hadn't really even told anybody and I was reading the books and I was, but I

[00:26:21] was not in a support system at the time.

[00:26:25] So, um, you said you had, you said you had started thinking about it before January 1.

[00:26:32] What, how did you start thinking about it?

[00:26:37] Um, you know what, I think I saw like a program online that would like stalk me on Facebook,

[00:26:42] you know, that was, I was like, why do I keep seeing this?

[00:26:46] You know, try, you know, alcohol free dry January challenge, like that kind of thing.

[00:26:52] But that's probably what planted the seed, um, which is interesting now that I kind of think

[00:26:57] back about it, that that's yeah, what it was.

[00:27:01] And so probably it planted the seed.

[00:27:04] I thought, yeah, let me, and I knew enough, I knew some about dry January, but, um, had

[00:27:09] never considered it before.

[00:27:10] And it was sort of like a way to just sort of do it and meld into the crowd.

[00:27:16] Like, oh, everybody's in there for January and not stand out.

[00:27:20] So yeah.

[00:27:22] And I think just having that date set helped me too.

[00:27:26] I mean, I don't think that that's a necessary thing for anybody, but it kind of helped me

[00:27:32] gave me a goal.

[00:27:33] I mean, that new year's Eve that night before, I mean, I drank, I had wine, I had April spritzes.

[00:27:38] I was like, better get rid of, you know, drink it.

[00:27:42] So it's not in the house.

[00:27:43] Girl, I know so many people, um, who are heavy drinkers who do that whole, like, I better get

[00:27:52] it all in.

[00:27:53] Yeah.

[00:27:54] Because, you know, tomorrow I'm, you know, either going to be dry for a month or I'm

[00:27:57] going to, and, and to be fair, I have totally done that with some sugar.

[00:28:01] Now I have been like, you know, I'm going sugar free tomorrow and hand me the Oreos,

[00:28:07] bring on the butterfingers.

[00:28:08] Where's my Snickers?

[00:28:10] You know, shamelessly.

[00:28:12] Yeah.

[00:28:13] Me too.

[00:28:13] Me too.

[00:28:14] Yeah.

[00:28:15] It happens.

[00:28:16] Yeah.

[00:28:16] It happens.

[00:28:17] So, so yeah, but, but I, when I woke up on that January 1st, I was sort of like, you

[00:28:22] know, I'm not drinking tonight because I felt horrible.

[00:28:26] But, you know, having that drink later, like around five o'clock when I normally would have,

[00:28:31] I knew it would have like sort of taken off that edge, but I was determined.

[00:28:37] I was like, I'm at least going to make it through one day.

[00:28:39] I'm going to.

[00:28:41] I'm so glad you did.

[00:28:43] Like for you, gosh, I'm so glad you did.

[00:28:46] Yeah.

[00:28:47] Me too.

[00:28:47] Me too.

[00:28:48] So, okay.

[00:28:49] So here's the friends, here's our friends giving questions.

[00:28:53] Okay.

[00:28:53] Good.

[00:28:53] Yay.

[00:28:54] Okay.

[00:28:54] Great.

[00:28:55] So this, the first one is what's an area of growth you didn't know you needed?

[00:29:02] Hmm.

[00:29:04] Area of growth.

[00:29:06] I think like one thing that I've really felt drawn to, like I kind of sort of alluded

[00:29:11] to before is this whole, the community sense of community and building community.

[00:29:17] Obviously COVID already, you know, everybody talks about that, but that really did affect

[00:29:22] the way that we interacted with other people for a while.

[00:29:26] And before that, my friend group was basically like people that I was, where my kids went to

[00:29:34] school, you know, like those moms.

[00:29:36] Other moms.

[00:29:37] Yeah.

[00:29:37] Yeah.

[00:29:38] And I just kind of had a few friends there and just felt like, okay, this is it.

[00:29:42] Like, I don't, whatever, this is enough.

[00:29:44] This is fine.

[00:29:45] And we drank, you know, together a lot.

[00:29:48] And so now that I'm like meeting other people, like meeting you and I've, you know, started

[00:29:56] joined the yoga studio and just really focusing on investing and getting to know people versus

[00:30:03] kind of thinking, oh, I've got this little friend group.

[00:30:06] I don't need any more friends.

[00:30:08] Why would I try to go, you know, meet other new people?

[00:30:11] And that's sort of what I would do before.

[00:30:13] I just kind of, if I met somebody, oh, great.

[00:30:16] But I wouldn't try to really like get to know them or let's meet up for coffee or anything

[00:30:22] like that.

[00:30:22] And now, so I kind of thought I was okay in the friend area, but now I'm realizing I,

[00:30:27] you know, shut myself off to potentially so many other people.

[00:30:31] So I'm really trying to embrace that now and, and talk to people and not be afraid to get

[00:30:40] real, especially, you know, somebody where you pick up on their vibe that they're willing

[00:30:44] to be real too.

[00:30:46] Then you're like, okay, we don't need a small talk.

[00:30:49] We can small talk for a few minutes, but then we can, you know, talk about poop.

[00:30:53] I can't tolerate it.

[00:30:54] Like I have a very, a very low tolerance for I'm talking to you about nothing.

[00:31:00] I just, which is great in one way, because like, if I'm in it, I'm in it with you.

[00:31:06] I mean, we're going to talk about it all.

[00:31:08] I don't care if I've known you 35 seconds or 35 years, we're going to, we're going to

[00:31:13] leave each other having a meaningful connection.

[00:31:17] But I was going to say, and I'm, I'm so glad you said community, because I was going to

[00:31:22] say an area of growth that I didn't know I needed was I do tend to isolate and I would

[00:31:27] never, ever, ever, ever have said that about me because I know that like, I'm a group exerciser.

[00:31:37] I love to go to the gym.

[00:31:38] I need, need to be around people.

[00:31:40] Um, I like to go to church.

[00:31:42] I like to, you know, do things live in person with other people, even though my, all of my

[00:31:49] work is online, right?

[00:31:51] You know, um, and yet I tend to shop.

[00:31:58] Well, shit fire.

[00:31:59] When I ask you to come to my house for non-alcoholic happy hour, you know, it took me days.

[00:32:06] I told you I was going to do that at the yoga.

[00:32:09] And then it took me like, so like, cause I didn't want, you know, like, well, I don't

[00:32:13] know, maybe she, and I'm making up stories in my head.

[00:32:16] Well, I don't know.

[00:32:17] She's probably got some kid stuff going on.

[00:32:19] Well, I was going to invite her, but I know her husband's home.

[00:32:21] Well, I don't know if she wants to come.

[00:32:23] Are you kidding me?

[00:32:24] Amy invites some flipping people.

[00:32:27] No, but I just really, I did not know how much I do isolate and I did not know how it,

[00:32:37] how much it affects me.

[00:32:38] Yeah.

[00:32:38] Do you feel like that you did that as much before COVID or do you feel like you kind of

[00:32:43] got into that?

[00:32:44] Girl, um, COVID, I hate to admit this.

[00:32:49] COVID has been the least rocky of my life in the last decade.

[00:32:54] You know, with the end of my marriage that was sort of sudden, traumatic, crazy town with

[00:32:59] falling in love again and being like swept up, talk about some denial, swept up in that and

[00:33:07] the promise of that new life.

[00:33:09] And then that blowing up and a move across the state and like a pandemic was just, that's

[00:33:15] a chump change for Amy Chang.

[00:33:17] I just added on.

[00:33:19] I know, right?

[00:33:20] What, what else?

[00:33:21] Throw it on.

[00:33:21] My daddy died too and I ran over the family dog.

[00:33:24] What else do we need to do?

[00:33:28] I started a new career in a new business.

[00:33:31] Like, I mean, bring it on.

[00:33:32] It's been, it's been busy.

[00:33:34] Yeah.

[00:33:34] Eight years have been busy for me.

[00:33:38] Yeah.

[00:33:39] I don't know.

[00:33:41] Yes.

[00:33:42] And, um, yeah, sure.

[00:33:44] COVID was, COVID was hard on all my people and that made it hard for me.

[00:33:52] I had friends who, I lost a friend to his alcoholism during COVID.

[00:33:58] Oh, wow.

[00:33:59] Gosh.

[00:33:59] I had a couple, um, increase in their drinking and, uh, suffer the consequences for that.

[00:34:08] Um, uh, my kids came home, you know, they were, two were in boarding school in high school

[00:34:15] and one was in college.

[00:34:16] And all of a sudden they came home and we had not been the three kids and a parent under one roof since their dad left.

[00:34:26] So three years before.

[00:34:30] Yeah.

[00:34:30] So it was, um, it was a lot.

[00:34:34] Yeah.

[00:34:35] I think that thank goodness I did have already, thank goodness for one thing.

[00:34:42] I didn't drink a lot.

[00:34:43] Yeah.

[00:34:44] I can see that that would have been my, my crutch, my lean in.

[00:34:48] Mm-hmm.

[00:34:49] Um, I got outside a lot.

[00:34:52] That's good.

[00:34:52] Yeah.

[00:34:53] I wish I had somebody said that.

[00:34:57] I have some addictive things and thankfully they have not bitten me in the butt too much, you know?

[00:35:04] Like exercise.

[00:35:06] It, it, I got to do a lot of exercise to get myself into trouble.

[00:35:10] Yeah.

[00:35:14] Yeah.

[00:35:15] That's crazy, right?

[00:35:17] Yeah.

[00:35:17] But it wasn't, yeah, it's hard.

[00:35:19] And I, and I did see, uh, in my patient population, I will say that.

[00:35:23] Oh yeah.

[00:35:24] While I was coaching that year, people were like, um, I've started having that glass of wine at three instead of 530.

[00:35:33] Exactly.

[00:35:33] Cause you didn't have, you were at home anyway.

[00:35:36] Yeah.

[00:35:36] That's, um, yeah.

[00:35:38] And then by 530 it's number two or three.

[00:35:41] And then, you know, by seven you're at four or five, then the bottle's gone and you're asleep on the couch.

[00:35:46] Yeah.

[00:35:47] Very common.

[00:35:48] Yeah.

[00:35:49] Mine definitely ramped up too.

[00:35:51] And it's also when I became aware that, oh, I'm not just a social drinker, I guess, because I'm not socializing, but I'm still drinking.

[00:35:58] So.

[00:35:59] Yeah.

[00:35:59] Oh, that's the point.

[00:36:00] Yeah.

[00:36:01] Yeah.

[00:36:02] Yeah.

[00:36:04] Uh, okay.

[00:36:04] So, uh, what area of growth do you know you needed, but you thought you would never have?

[00:36:14] Hmm.

[00:36:15] I mean, me launching this business is crazy.

[00:36:21] I know.

[00:36:23] I'm like, girl, put your seatbelt on.

[00:36:25] Yeah.

[00:36:26] You're getting ready to go on a ride.

[00:36:27] Yeah.

[00:36:28] I mean, I've, like I said, I've been a pharmacist for 30 years.

[00:36:31] I've been, you know, a mom for almost 21 years and never did I ever think that I would be becoming, you know, having an online presence.

[00:36:43] Gosh.

[00:36:44] On social media.

[00:36:46] Oh, God.

[00:36:56] I'm able to be creative because, you know, as a pharmacist, there's not a lot of room for creativity.

[00:37:01] I must not.

[00:37:03] We don't get creative back there.

[00:37:05] I'll give her 25 of her Synthroid and then I'll just throw in a couple out of Ann.

[00:37:10] Yeah.

[00:37:11] Yeah.

[00:37:11] She'll love it.

[00:37:12] See if she notices.

[00:37:14] Yeah.

[00:37:15] So it's very by the book, which are not, that's sort of my personality is a very much, you know, by the book.

[00:37:21] I think that's why, probably why I became a pharmacist.

[00:37:23] So this is new and exciting and fun.

[00:37:28] And I'm loving, like, tapping into my creative side and then still being able to help people.

[00:37:34] Because, you know, another part of me being a pharmacist and you being a nurse is I did want to help people.

[00:37:39] So I'm excited now to be able to help people with something that I have such a personal connection with, had a personal struggle with,

[00:37:47] and just feel like I just want to share, like, what I've learned.

[00:37:52] But I never would have thought five years ago, even, you know, I never would have thought, oh, I'm going to be a life coach.

[00:38:02] Right.

[00:38:02] I know it's kind of crazy.

[00:38:04] But I think that that's, you know, usually my answer.

[00:38:08] I've done, I think you're my fourth Friendsgiving interview, which has been great.

[00:38:13] I may just do Friendsgiving the rest of the year.

[00:38:16] It's been so much fun.

[00:38:18] And usually I say patience that I knew I needed, but I never thought I'd make any headway on patience because, you know, I know my mom.

[00:38:27] And she still has as much patience as I do.

[00:38:30] But I think that it's really been being like sort of, I knew that I needed to sort of be able to not be intense girl.

[00:38:47] You know, I knew that sometimes I would wear myself out.

[00:38:51] And I didn't really know there was another way to be other than just go, go, go, busy, busy, busy, do, do, do, you know, stuff like that.

[00:39:00] Yeah.

[00:39:00] And again, this last almost decade has given me so many opportunities to suffer and to not suffer and to grow and learn and really be open.

[00:39:19] And it serves my clients well.

[00:39:23] And so I totally get what you say when you say, you know, you never thought five years ago that you would be able to have a story to share that moves people forward and has them feel all the good things that coaches want us to feel.

[00:39:41] We are not alone.

[00:39:42] We are more powerful than we think we are.

[00:39:44] And we can do it.

[00:39:46] Yeah.

[00:39:46] And there are a lot of areas that I can now do much better now that I've had a gullet full of learning opportunities.

[00:39:57] Yeah.

[00:39:58] Yeah.

[00:39:59] And grateful for it.

[00:40:01] Oh, yeah.

[00:40:02] Totally.

[00:40:03] Yeah.

[00:40:03] Yeah.

[00:40:04] I wouldn't change, you know, I wouldn't change a thing for sure.

[00:40:08] No, me neither.

[00:40:09] Me neither.

[00:40:11] And it's been tough.

[00:40:13] Yeah.

[00:40:13] Yeah.

[00:40:13] Ain't been no walk in the park.

[00:40:17] Nope.

[00:40:18] I would not change it.

[00:40:20] Okay.

[00:40:20] Well, at least anything else on that one before I go to the next?

[00:40:23] I don't think so.

[00:40:24] I think that was it.

[00:40:24] Yeah.

[00:40:27] Okay.

[00:40:28] Oh, here's a good one.

[00:40:30] What are you most proud of?

[00:40:33] Hmm.

[00:40:34] Hmm.

[00:40:38] I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm saying the same things over, but just how far I've come in almost four years.

[00:40:46] Like, yeah.

[00:40:48] I'm very proud of this journey.

[00:40:51] And how many sort of uncomfortable positions I put myself in.

[00:40:57] There weren't uncomfortable now, but just joining the life coach certification program, you know, being with all these people I didn't know.

[00:41:06] So, I mean, all of that was not my, like.

[00:41:09] Not your thing.

[00:41:10] Yeah.

[00:41:11] So, I'm so, I'm proud of myself for just putting myself out there, having courage to try new things.

[00:41:21] And, and I'm just really trying to enjoy, enjoy the process and take it all in.

[00:41:28] Like, this is my first podcast.

[00:41:31] Look at that.

[00:41:32] I'm your first.

[00:41:34] Yeah.

[00:41:34] So, like, you know, I never would have.

[00:41:38] Well, probably wouldn't have even asked to been on a podcast.

[00:41:41] And because who wants a pharmacist on their podcast unless it's like a medical one?

[00:41:46] Very boring.

[00:41:47] Yeah.

[00:41:47] I know we were.

[00:41:48] No, I'm just kidding.

[00:41:50] The world needs pharmacists.

[00:41:51] Yes.

[00:41:52] Yes.

[00:41:52] It is a great career.

[00:41:53] I mean, it is served me well and I have enjoyed it.

[00:41:57] But, yeah, I, this definitely gives me more, more inspiration for sure.

[00:42:05] Yeah.

[00:42:06] I think I am the proudest of, in, in my personal journey, letting go of the shame and the significance of all my wayward decisions.

[00:42:21] Yes.

[00:42:22] You know, because I've had some really big fat mess ups and, and just let, and owning it.

[00:42:34] Yeah.

[00:42:34] I can't own all my parts and all the, the learning I've had and all the opportunities I've had.

[00:42:44] I literally can't use that and show up as the whole me and own that if I'm lugging like shame around it.

[00:42:55] Yeah.

[00:42:56] So I'm really, that was, that was a, that's been a hard fought journey for me because in the past and when I first started being trained as a coach, you know, to be trained as a coach, do you get coached hard?

[00:43:13] Yes, you do.

[00:43:14] Yeah.

[00:43:15] Hard.

[00:43:16] And when you start looking at you and it doesn't always feel good, you know, my go-to would be, you know, basically leaning into like, I'm just worthless and I'm just, you know, bad.

[00:43:31] And I can't believe I've done that.

[00:43:33] I can't believe I've done those things to my children.

[00:43:35] I can't believe I've done those things to my spouse.

[00:43:38] I can't believe, you know, all of that.

[00:44:04] Mm-hmm.

[00:44:07] My bad.

[00:44:09] Who do I need to make an amends to?

[00:44:11] Because I know that.

[00:44:14] Yeah.

[00:44:15] And that's, that's been a real area of growth that I'm, I'm really proud of because that's been hard.

[00:44:20] Yeah.

[00:44:21] Yeah.

[00:44:21] The shame thing, man, that will really mess with our heads.

[00:44:24] So I love that, that you've been able to learn how to, to let that go because it's just a lie too.

[00:44:32] I mean, you know.

[00:44:32] Oh, it's such a lie.

[00:44:33] Yeah.

[00:44:34] It's such a lie.

[00:44:35] I said, I, what did we, I guess in the summer, um, my Sunday school group, Sunday school group got together.

[00:44:41] Um, and we were having a dinner or something.

[00:44:44] I was sitting around the table with a bunch of women and I was telling a story and I was like, oh yeah.

[00:44:49] And I did this and this and this.

[00:44:50] And they were like, wow, you just, that's really good that you can just, and I'm like, oh yeah, it happened, man.

[00:45:02] Yeah.

[00:45:03] I mean.

[00:45:04] It is what it is.

[00:45:06] Right.

[00:45:07] Right.

[00:45:08] There's no point in making ourselves shiny and other people, you know.

[00:45:13] This girl got some dents, man.

[00:45:17] But I'm not on the discount, Ben.

[00:45:19] Let's just have a set right now.

[00:45:22] I might be in the scratching dent.

[00:45:24] But my price tag is high, man.

[00:45:28] Oh, I love you.

[00:45:28] Oh, gosh.

[00:45:30] I do love, I love talking with you, Emily.

[00:45:33] So, okay.

[00:45:35] This one is, um, let's see.

[00:45:40] What do you still struggle with?

[00:45:44] Hmm.

[00:45:46] Yeah.

[00:45:47] So I still, I'm struggling with just the, the self-confidence that this is going to happen.

[00:45:55] And I'm learning, you know, I've learned, definitely learned tools, especially with coaching of how to work through those limiting beliefs.

[00:46:01] And, um, but it'll, you know, that's the thing that'll still pop in.

[00:46:05] Like, are you, is this really going to happen?

[00:46:06] Yeah.

[00:46:08] Yeah.

[00:46:08] So, yeah.

[00:46:09] I would say my confidence level.

[00:46:12] It has definitely, definitely grown since, um, in the last year, especially kind of just being in this life coaching program and just kind of going for it and showing up on social media.

[00:46:26] Yeah.

[00:46:26] Yeah.

[00:46:27] All of that, that I would not be doing if I wasn't doing this.

[00:46:32] So, um, but I'm definitely, I'm aware of it and I work through it and encourage myself, but that would be the main, that's still probably up there, the top.

[00:46:44] How do you, okay.

[00:46:46] So I know this is a hot topic for everyone, self-confidence.

[00:46:50] What's your one go-to that works most of the time when the gremlins start up with the, like, you can't do this.

[00:46:57] Why would you do it?

[00:46:58] Well, you know, what's your one go-to?

[00:47:01] Mine is just ask myself, what else would you be doing right now?

[00:47:06] If you weren't doing this, if you weren't starting this business that kind of scares you and puts you out there and shakes your confidence, you know, what else would you be doing?

[00:47:15] This is, do you want to go back to being just sort of, you know, existing and going through your daily routine or having this?

[00:47:25] So it kind of brings me back to, this is what I'm doing and I can do this.

[00:47:31] Yes.

[00:47:32] And it, it motivates me knowing that I'm doing something that I'm enjoying and that's for me and gives me that, like, suck it up and just keep showing up.

[00:47:43] And, you know, what's the worst that could happen?

[00:47:46] Isn't that right?

[00:47:48] I mean.

[00:47:48] Well, we could make a lot of stories about that if you wanted to.

[00:47:52] Yes.

[00:47:54] But, but yeah, that kind of just pushes me to keep going.

[00:48:01] Yeah.

[00:48:01] I find that same things, self-confidence.

[00:48:06] The gremlins are sometimes louder.

[00:48:08] They're always louder at 3, 3 a.m.

[00:48:12] I've just told myself, we're not having these conversations in the middle of the night.

[00:48:16] Okay.

[00:48:16] You can just shut that down right now.

[00:48:18] I'm not doing it.

[00:48:19] So that's been a handy tool, like, because honestly, none of the thoughts that I think at night when I'm lying awake, when I would like to be asleep, are quality thoughts.

[00:48:30] None of them are quality thoughts.

[00:48:34] I'm like, okay, if I'm not having that conversation, then another one will come up.

[00:48:38] I'm like, nope.

[00:48:39] You're back here.

[00:48:42] So I use that one a lot.

[00:48:44] I think that the sneaky part, because I don't know if you've known, I don't know if this has been your experience, but it seems like the healthier in my head I get, the sneakier, I mean, you can call them character defects or you can call them, you know, characteristics or whatever.

[00:49:04] The sneakier the negatives are.

[00:49:09] So, for example, like, sometimes when I'm not feeling super confident about something, I won't tell myself, like, oh, you can't do that and you can't, but there will be something else that will catch my eye.

[00:49:26] That feels easier and better.

[00:49:30] Perfect example.

[00:49:32] If I am not feeling confident that day about making a social media post, then all of a sudden I've got to create a system for how the social media posts should be done and how I should communicate between my VA and myself and what content should.

[00:49:51] And I can hide behind my computer where no one can see me and I can be all isolated.

[00:49:57] And it takes me a minute to realize, like, oh, wait a minute, girl, you are just avoiding something because you're having some feelings and they don't feel good.

[00:50:11] So that's where I'm seeing it now.

[00:50:13] And I'm getting quicker at recognizing the distraction as a self-soothing.

[00:50:20] I'm just self-soothing.

[00:50:22] Yeah.

[00:50:23] Yeah.

[00:50:24] And I'm getting better at that.

[00:50:28] But, yeah, it's a sneaky son of a gun.

[00:50:30] Yeah.

[00:50:36] Yeah, I'll reach for my phone to, like, scroll, you know, if I've hit some kind of wall, I'm like, oh, let me just.

[00:50:42] So, yeah, anything to distract from the moment of uncomfortability.

[00:50:47] Yeah, for sure.

[00:50:48] For sure.

[00:50:49] Well, is there anything else you want to talk about, say, share, anything you really want people who are still listening to this podcast to get for themselves, for their lives right now?

[00:51:05] Yeah.

[00:51:05] We'll say thank you for still listening.

[00:51:08] I know, right.

[00:51:10] Are you awake?

[00:51:11] Wake up.

[00:51:11] We're about to wrap.

[00:51:15] Yeah.

[00:51:15] Yeah.

[00:51:16] And so I just would, I want other women to know that, you know, there's so many things they can have beyond, you know, the numbing effects of alcohol.

[00:51:28] Like, it's hard to kind of break through that.

[00:51:30] But once you get to the other side, it's, it just opens up a whole new world for everything, for the relationship with your kids, the relationship with your spouse, the relationship with yourself and your friends.

[00:51:44] And just getting that block out of the way can be definitely life changing.

[00:51:52] And just the freedom that comes from knowing, you know, I never have to have a hangover ever again.

[00:51:59] Like, I never have to regret something I said or, you know, wonder the next morning, did I leave my purse somewhere?

[00:52:10] You know, just all of those things that could come up.

[00:52:13] Yeah.

[00:52:14] Just having that freedom and knowing that you're living your, like your most authentic self and just living in that freedom, living in that joy.

[00:52:23] Like, that's what I really want to be able to share with other people and just be an encourager and support for people because it's not easy.

[00:52:35] No, it's not.

[00:52:37] And in fact, you said something earlier that really made me think most of the people I work with are women and they are living lives that they haven't taken stock of in a while.

[00:52:55] Mm-hmm.

[00:52:55] And they don't even know that there is a different way.

[00:53:01] Yeah.

[00:53:01] And they certainly don't know how to go get it or what to do to create it.

[00:53:09] Yeah.

[00:53:09] So I think I see that in sobriety too, that there is this sort of bright, shiny, unhazed window way of living your life.

[00:53:24] Mm-hmm.

[00:53:24] That you can't appreciate because your window is hazed.

[00:53:29] Yeah.

[00:53:29] But you haven't seen a clean window in so damn long.

[00:53:33] Mm-hmm.

[00:53:33] That you can't remember or contemplate.

[00:53:36] Maybe you've never seen it.

[00:53:38] Yeah.

[00:53:39] You know?

[00:53:39] Yeah.

[00:53:40] And I think that most of the people I work with, I try to help them really dive into and make a possibility for themselves that, no, there really is something over there that is different from the ho-hum, the go-go-go, the wash, rinse, repeat, the hot mess express.

[00:54:08] The, I'm just, I'm not living my life.

[00:54:11] My life's living me.

[00:54:12] Yes.

[00:54:13] Yes.

[00:54:14] So true.

[00:54:15] Yeah.

[00:54:16] So, yeah, there is.

[00:54:19] There is life.

[00:54:21] Mm-hmm.

[00:54:22] And you can't even imagine what it is, but it's over there.

[00:54:26] Exactly.

[00:54:27] Yeah.

[00:54:29] Yeah, for sure.

[00:54:31] Well, thank you so much for being on.

[00:54:33] I really appreciate you.

[00:54:35] Oh, thank you for having me.

[00:54:36] I want to come over again and have another sober Saturday.

[00:54:40] Oh, I love that.

[00:54:41] Sober Saturday.

[00:54:43] Yeah.

[00:54:43] I thought those little sprigs of the rosemary were so cute.

[00:54:47] We put in our cocktails.

[00:54:48] And I made one last night and I put in some lavender, a little sprig of lavender.

[00:54:55] Oh, you're fancy.

[00:54:56] I was fancy up in here.

[00:54:59] Yeah.

[00:55:00] Well, if anyone listening to this podcast wants to have a clear window life and you don't

[00:55:08] even know what it looks like and you've been looking at this haziness for a while, you can

[00:55:14] always, always call for a consult with me.

[00:55:18] Do you do consults, Emily?

[00:55:20] Yeah.

[00:55:21] So I'm going to have like on my, my Instagram is livingfreewithemily.

[00:55:26] And there I have a link to set up like a free discovery call type of a thing where we can

[00:55:33] see if you want to work because I will offer one-on-one coaching.

[00:55:36] And then the, like I said, the group program will hopefully be launching in May.

[00:55:40] Yeah.

[00:55:41] So yes.

[00:55:42] Yeah.

[00:55:42] I have a link.

[00:55:43] So you can link up with Emily or you can always link up with me.

[00:55:49] You can find all my information in the show notes because I would love to have a conversation

[00:55:53] with you about a clean window life.

[00:55:57] Yeah.

[00:55:58] Yeah.

[00:55:59] Yeah.

[00:55:59] All right, guys, give yourself some grace.

[00:56:01] I'll see you next time on Healthy AF.

[00:56:03] And until then, just keep living that full life.

[00:56:08] See ya.

[00:56:08] Bye.

[00:56:13] Bye.

[00:56:14] Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Healthy AF Podcast.

[00:56:18] I hope that it has helped you create a new possibility for your health and sets you into

[00:56:23] action to go get it.

[00:56:25] If you want more information or if you want to connect with me, visit my website at myhealthylife.coach.

[00:56:32] And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so that each new Healthy AF episode will be

[00:56:38] sent directly to you.

[00:56:40] Let's take you from where you are to where you want to go.

[00:56:53] You've been listening to The Mesh, an online media network of shows and programs ranging

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[00:57:15] adenữ habl过 Mhm.

[00:57:16] That's once you've heard.

[00:57:16] I love the fact that you do.