Declutter Your Schedule: From Chaos to Joy - Part 1

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00]: What you want when you want it, where you want it. This is the MESH.

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_01]: Hey everybody and welcome to another episode of Healthy AF. Today's episode is going

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_01]: to be all about a topic that I think most of us deal with, and that is how do we know

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_01]: that we're doing all the stuff in life that we should be doing, not doing the extra

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_01]: stuff that we shouldn't be doing, and finding joy and alignment in all the things that

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_01]: we are choosing to do. And this comes straight up out of some client sessions, okay?

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_01]: Out of my own life and experience with the over-busy overwhelmed robotic automatic, well yeah,

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I go to church on Wednesdays and I go to cross-fit at 12 noon on Tuesdays and I go, you know,

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_01]: that kind of going through the motions, and I heard so many people describe it as, you know,

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_01]: Amy, the same old, same old. I say to them, where would you like to focus your session

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_01]: today? And they're like, I'm just dealing with the same old, same old. Okay? Or I hear

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_01]: wash rinse repeat. That's what I hear. Have one client who always says, you know, Amy,

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I just feel like I'm stuck in the wash rinse repeat. Okay. Well, here's how we shake

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_01]: out of that. And I want to start by talking about your kitchen junk drawer. Now, I have a

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_01]: kitchen junk drawer. I think everybody has a kitchen junk drawer. In fact, if you don't have a

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_01]: kitchen junk drawer, then I'm a little concerned about you. Everybody's got that kitchen

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_01]: junk drawer. And for me, mine did not start out a kitchen junk drawer. Mine started out as a utility

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_01]: drawer. And it had a certain section for all the lit bombs, the paper clips, the rubber bands,

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_01]: a pair of scissors, a screwdriver, a pair of heem stats. If you don't know what they are, we

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_01]: use them in the healthcare setting and they're really handy as like kind of tweezery things.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_01]: A couple of pencils, a couple of pens, little note, had a paper, maybe some post

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_01]: it notes, twist ties. Got to have twist ties in your kitchen junk drawer. The neighborhood

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_01]: phone book. Got to have the neighborhood phone book. All the things that you want to get that

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_01]: are important and useful in your life lives in that kitchen utility drawer. And that's how

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_01]: you get that. And it's some point it became a junk drawer. Now, I was not aware

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_01]: that it was becoming a junk drawer. I just knew that the twist tie from that bread went

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_01]: into their and then the other twist tie also went into their. And then the little clipy thing

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_01]: that sometimes I give you like on a sack of potatoes, sometimes on bread, looks like a little

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_01]: pair of two because you know, you could use that as a twist tie things or you know, it

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_01]: might be useful somehow. I'm not sure. And then the hair bow that I found laying on the floor

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_01]: that was clearly one of my daughters that got thrown in there. Those three empty things

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_01]: that I bought and I used three but we had a fourth one in the pack. I didn't want to put

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_01]: that in my toolbox because I know that I'm going to lose it in there or not remember where

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_01]: did that got in there. The new neighborhood phone book also got in there, the charging

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_01]: cables for the speaker that got in there. So my kitchen drawer was going from utility

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_01]: drawer to junk drawer underneath my nose. I was the one doing it and I could see it

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_01]: happening from the distance but I was choosing not to acknowledge it until this morning.

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_01]: And that thing happened and we know what that thing is. My kitchen junk drawer would not close.

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I went into the junk drawer. I got out the hems stats to clean out the, I cleaned the dog for

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_01]: out of the room but in the junk drawer would not close. That's what I like to call one of those

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_01]: moments that you can't unsee. So you've been watching that junk drawer get junkie.

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_01]: It's been harder for me to close recently. I've had to move some things around, maybe

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_01]: like you know just mash them down, stick them in the back, rearrange them a little bit.

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_01]: But then came the day that I could not close the junk drawer and I couldn't unsee it.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_01]: And frankly I couldn't deal with it right then because I had a client to get to. So that junk drawer just sat there hanging open kind of begging for my attention.

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_01]: And there I have a choice. What do I do with the junk drawer?

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_01]: Do I rearrange it yet again and close it again?

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_01]: Do stop what I'm doing today and deal with it. Do I completely rearrange it? You tell it,

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Harian, do take half the stuff out. Is there stuff that I can let go of?

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Is it all super important?

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Is the neighborhood directory from four neighborhoods away? Really necessary anymore?

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_01]: So I've got lots of options on that kitchen drawer, which is by the way, still open and looking at me.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_01]: It's that way with the things we choose to put in our life. I'll see it all the time.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_01]: We put activities, people, habits, foods, exercises.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_01]: We put them in there and they're useful and they may even be fulfilling.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And there might be a reason why we're hanging on to that, that twist, that thing, you know.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_01]: At some point though, we have opportunities where our kitchen junk drawer won't close.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_01]: For my clients, it usually sounds something like this.

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why I keep eating the cookies. I'm eating.

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, well let's talk about when you were eating the cookies. Well, I was just so stressed.

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I had to do this and this and this and this.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_01]: And the neighborhood's calling me and the church people were banging on my door.

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, work is out of control.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm having, you know, some issues managing all of this.

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. Well now you're, you're junk drawer just to enclose in now.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_01]: So when we live in this go go go automatic.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I signed up for this thing three years ago, but I haven't taken the time to reevaluate if I still want to do it anymore.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_01]: The stuff just tends to pile and here's, here's the secret.

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_01]: At first when we chose to put that in our life, it might have been out of choice and it might have been powerful.

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_01]: This brings me joy. I'm going to do this.

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_01]: I recently just put yoga into my life once a week.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, this feels so good for my body.

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to do this. I chose it.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_01]: I looked carefully at it.

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Does it match up with how I'm feeling?

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_01]: What I think my body needs? What I'm committed to? Yes.

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a yes. All right. Let's put it in. I chose it.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_01]: There are some things that we throw in our kitchen drawer.

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_01]: Or I eat our life that we may have not chosen so powerfully.

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I mean, that extra job got thrown on my plate at work and nobody else could do that project

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_01]: because I'm the only one who could do that type of project and so I just had to do it.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_01]: No power there.

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm doing it anyway.

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_01]: And three years later, I'm still doing it.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Right. So when you look at all the things that are in your kitchen junk drawer called your life,

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_01]: there are going to be some things that you put in there powerfully.

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_01]: There are going to be some things that you likely did not put in there powerfully but you just took.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_01]: And there might be some things in there that still lie you up.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Like, wow, I really love going to my church service at 815 in the morning on Sundays.

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, great. So there's going to be all kinds of things in your kitchen junk drawer.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_01]: At some point, there is an evaluation that has to happen on whether or not everything should still be in there.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, that point could come to you because life has handed you an opportunity.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_01]: At point could come to like a chronic illness or a major life shift.

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_01]: It could come to you just because, you know, like you walked past it and you're like, oh wow, the drawers looking full.

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I need to look at this.

[00:10:50] [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to do this episode in two parts because there are some tools that we can use.

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_01]: And some coaching I can give you to work with.

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_01]: When you realize your kitchen drawer is too full.

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_01]: But part one of correcting, wow, I feel like I'm on a wash rinse repeat.

[00:11:16] [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I'm dealing with the same old, same old.

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why I can't keep my hand out of the cookies.

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_01]: When you're dealing with that, it's likely that you're actually not seeing that your kitchen drawer is full to burst.

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_01]: You're just not seeing it.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_01]: And there's a really powerful gift when you see it and people don't appreciate it.

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_01]: They step over that.

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_01]: That moment that you realize your kitchen, junk drawer won't shut.

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_01]: That moment that you realize.

[00:12:05] [SPEAKER_01]: You're doing a bunch of stuff that actually you either don't want to do or you never wanted to do,

[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_01]: or just isn't bringing your joy.

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_01]: That is a moment of choice and decision and power that you cannot unsee.

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And what a gift that is because when you have that insight and you cannot unsee it.

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Then you have some choice and then you have some power.

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_01]: So, yes, my kitchen drawer is still open and I haven't yet decided exactly what I'm going to do or when I'm going to do it.

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm pretty sure that I don't need all three pairs of scissors in there.

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm also pretty sure that I don't need all three years directories in there.

[00:13:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Even though I have scribbles graveled on the back of them, I might need to transfer those notes.

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, what does stop here and mess up too? Because this happens.

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to tell you that when I woke past that drawer the first time this morning that I didn't just blame my children for putting crap in there.

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_01]: This happens too.

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_01]: When you start taking responsibility for your over-stuffed life,

[00:13:34] [SPEAKER_01]: it's likely that you will look for blame and other places other than yourself.

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Give yourself some grace. This happens.

[00:13:45] [SPEAKER_01]: It's not true. Someone might have put some stuff on your plate, right?

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_01]: They may have your boss, given you that extra, you know, chore, your children may be leaving their dirty clothes in the hallway that you feel compelled to pick up.

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_01]: But remember, if you're blaming other people, you are likely not in power.

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_01]: If you're accepting the responsibility that is yours, you are likely in power.

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Like, that drawer is my drawer.

[00:14:22] [SPEAKER_01]: At the end of the day, that drawer is in my house and it is my responsibility.

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't know who's crap is in there, but I do know I can take responsibility for cleaning that drawer out and making sure it closes.

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_01]: So in part two of this episode, we'll probably have to call this like declutter your life.

[00:14:44] [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to talk about some of the ways I help clients move from O-Crap.

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I have now seen that my kitchen drawer will not close.

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_01]: That my life is too busy.

[00:14:58] [SPEAKER_01]: That I am in charge of my life.

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a prisoner, I'm not a victim to all the things I signed up to do three years ago that I'm still doing.

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_01]: And I can change what I'm doing.

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_01]: We'll talk about that in the next episode.

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And I will see you there. Give yourself some grace.

[00:15:19] [SPEAKER_01]: If you have drawers that won't close today, I don't know what you're going to do with them, but just give yourself a hug.

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody gets there somewhere.

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_01]: If you love this episode, please like, share and subscribe it.

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_01]: And if this is speaking to you, you can always reach out.

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm happy to sit down and talk to anybody about their kitchen drawer, I eat their life.

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Have a great day, give yourself some grace.

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_01]: And we'll see you next time on company AF.

[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Healthier AF podcast.

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_01]: I hope that it has helped you create a new possibility for your health.

[00:15:53] [SPEAKER_01]: And sets you into action to go get it.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_01]: If you want more information or if you want to connect with me, visit my website at myhealthierlife.co.

[00:16:04] [SPEAKER_01]: And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so that each new healthy AF episode will be sent directly to you.

[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_01]: Let's take you from where you are to where you want to go.

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