Continue your journey to a more balanced life in Part 2 of this compelling series on Healthy AF. In this episode, Amy delves into two transformative coaching conversations designed to help you get honest about the obligations cluttering your life. Discover how to assess each commitment with clarity and courage, recognizing your power and choice in what to keep and what to let go. Amy's guidance will empower you to make decisions that align with your deepest values and priorities, freeing you from the weight of unnecessary burdens. By embracing your ability to choose, you'll find greater joy and fulfillment in your everyday life. Join us for this enlightening discussion and take another step towards a decluttered, purpose-driven schedule.
Trying to get healthy and stay healthy is f-ing hard! Everybody struggles with some aspect of it, no matter what they look like or what they tell you. There is no magic formula - a healthy lifestyle is a choice we need to make daily. Join Amy as she supports, informs, and entertains you on your journey toward health.
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[00:00:02] What you want, when you want it, where you want it. This is The MESH.
[00:00:10] Hey, I'm Amy Chang. I'm a nationally board-certified health and wellness coach, and this is Healthy AF.
[00:00:16] In this podcast, I'll be bringing you all things health, from the newest health strategies to how to tackle those personal roadblocks that just will not let you move forward.
[00:00:27] So buckle in. We're going to be inspired and instructed, and dadgum, we're going to have a little fun on Healthy AF.
[00:00:36] Hey everybody, and welcome to another episode of Healthy AF. So this is part two.
[00:00:42] In the first part we talked about, when you realize that your scheduled commitments are like a kitchen junk drawer that will not close,
[00:00:51] and you've been given this decision, okay, what do I need to do with my life?
[00:00:56] This is feeling very same old, same old, wash, rinse, repeat, no passion, and a lot of imprisonment to my calendar.
[00:01:05] Here's what we do. Once you get through, and if you haven't listened to part one already, I would suggest go ahead and listen to part one.
[00:01:12] That may fill you in a little bit.
[00:01:14] So one thing that I like to start with, with my clients is a quick coaching question that I absolutely love.
[00:01:23] And it's this. When you look to put something on your calendar, or you can look at things that are already on your calendar that may or may not be things that still fit your values in your life right now.
[00:01:41] So the question is, if I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?
[00:01:53] So let me give you an example on that.
[00:01:57] Let's say I want to start a new meeting.
[00:02:04] I want to start a new meeting on Fridays at 2 p.m. to do some work stuff.
[00:02:16] Great. If I say yes to that meeting, what am I saying no to?
[00:02:24] Now, it's easy to say if I say yes to that meeting, what am I saying yes to?
[00:02:28] We usually all know that answer already.
[00:02:31] Oh, I'm saying yes to getting more done.
[00:02:33] I'm getting yes to seeing my coworkers.
[00:02:37] I'm yes to ending up my week well.
[00:02:39] All right. That's easy to see, especially when we are excited about saying yes to something.
[00:02:47] But the nose will give you your price tag for saying yes.
[00:02:54] And I think we've all probably, I don't know, maybe you haven't.
[00:02:58] I certainly have picked up that item in the store and then gone to the, up to the checkout counter.
[00:03:05] And when they tell me the price, I'm like, oh, hang on.
[00:03:08] Did not know that was the price.
[00:03:10] I don't need that after all.
[00:03:13] Yeah. It's handy to check the price before you make the purchase.
[00:03:19] So before you say yes to putting things on your calendar, looking at what you're saying no to.
[00:03:25] So if I put that, if I say yes to that meeting on Friday, then really what I'm saying no to is my Friday afternoon.
[00:03:32] Maybe unscheduled time ride down to the beach.
[00:03:37] I might be saying no to a nice wind down and entry into the weekend.
[00:03:47] I might be saying no to that family time that I've scheduled.
[00:03:54] Now, it doesn't mean you have to say no to that meeting on Friday.
[00:03:58] It just means you're getting clear on the price tag because it might be that I can take that family time on Wednesday nights.
[00:04:06] And then I don't need that on Friday nights.
[00:04:09] Might be that I can move some things around.
[00:04:12] But the point is, know the price before you make the purchase.
[00:04:16] And I have found several of my clients have said to me, oh, my gosh, that what am I saying no to question?
[00:04:25] Massive.
[00:04:25] And I found that to be pretty much a game changer for me, too.
[00:04:29] Second tip I have for you is to make a priority list.
[00:04:35] What's really important in your life?
[00:04:39] Now, I think that there's some whenever anybody says to me, like, make a priority list.
[00:04:45] I'm like, well, I mean, clearly my faith and my family and, you know, blah, blah.
[00:04:50] It's sort of easy.
[00:04:51] Like, who do you pray for?
[00:04:53] What do you pray about?
[00:04:54] Oh, you know, world peace.
[00:04:56] And, you know, I'm grateful for my house.
[00:04:59] I'm not talking about that.
[00:05:00] I'm talking about specifics.
[00:05:03] This is where I kind of get into a murky spot when we don't know what we value.
[00:05:16] And we don't know what we value because we don't know who we are.
[00:05:22] Yeah, I'm going to say that again.
[00:05:25] When we have been living that life that is a same old, same old, wash, rinse, repeat.
[00:05:30] And we've got a calendar that is full to bursting.
[00:05:33] And we haven't evaluated what the price tag on any of those calendar items are.
[00:05:38] And we don't really know what we want to do or what we just do because we're obligated to do it.
[00:05:47] It might be that we actually don't know ourselves very well.
[00:05:49] And when you don't know yourself very well, it's very difficult to get your priorities down and crispy clear instead of just the general like, oh, yeah, well, I love God and my family and USA go.
[00:06:10] That doesn't work well.
[00:06:14] So then that begs the question, how do you really get to know yourself?
[00:06:23] You know, we are doing a book club right now on Rising Strong is the book by Brene Brown.
[00:06:29] And one of the very first things I asked my participants in the first session was, what are your truths?
[00:06:37] What do you know that are that is truthful about you?
[00:06:42] Unchangeable.
[00:06:44] Now, many of you know, if you've watched me before, that that's my personal mission statement.
[00:06:48] I keep it hanging on my wall.
[00:06:50] I did it several years ago when I was provided an opportunity to get to know myself again.
[00:06:56] But if you don't know what your truths are, it's very difficult to figure out what your priorities are.
[00:07:02] And without looking at your priorities, you can't really answer the question, what's the price tag on the way I'm living?
[00:07:13] So here's a hint on how to find your truths.
[00:07:18] Now, you can do some contemplating, right?
[00:07:21] There's a bazillion coaching questions I could give you.
[00:07:25] And we see it all the time.
[00:07:27] We see it in country music.
[00:07:29] You know, one way to look at it is to write your eulogy.
[00:07:34] That's a great exercise.
[00:07:36] Another way that's not death oriented is to write the movie of you.
[00:07:43] You know, that's cool.
[00:07:44] Like, you know, write your 10 year movie.
[00:07:46] What's happened in your life?
[00:07:47] Down to like the director's cut.
[00:07:51] Like, okay, she goes to work.
[00:07:53] Great.
[00:07:54] But how is she walking?
[00:07:56] What's her face look like?
[00:07:58] What's her, what are her clothes doing?
[00:08:01] Right?
[00:08:01] What's she wearing?
[00:08:03] Is she strutting?
[00:08:04] Is she slumped over?
[00:08:06] Is she trudging?
[00:08:07] So really get into that mindset.
[00:08:10] If I were the director and I wanted to see this picture on, how would I say it needed to look?
[00:08:17] Right?
[00:08:17] You can use that tool.
[00:08:19] Movie of you.
[00:08:21] Um, if death doesn't bother you, right?
[00:08:27] Like I have some clients and I'm like, well, you know, if, if something really horrible happened in your life, things get very clear.
[00:08:34] Very clear.
[00:08:35] Very clear.
[00:08:35] When bad, really bad things happen in your life, the important things get very clear.
[00:08:41] Would you like to use that tool?
[00:08:43] Yeah, some people can't do that.
[00:08:44] And that's okay.
[00:08:45] If you find that you are, you get very uncomfortable with thinking about like worst case scenarios, don't use that tool.
[00:08:51] I find it's a very helpful tool.
[00:08:54] I also find that we can say like, well, just live like you're dying.
[00:08:59] Well, who can relate to that?
[00:09:01] Some of us can.
[00:09:03] Some of us have had brushes with death that were like, okay, yeah, I know.
[00:09:07] Cause I remember that.
[00:09:08] And this was very clear.
[00:09:10] But I can relate to what happens when really hard things happen.
[00:09:14] I don't think my marriage was ever better than when our seven year old first born daughter was in the hospital with kidney disease that no one could diagnose.
[00:09:29] Took us 21 days to diagnose that.
[00:09:32] It was scary.
[00:09:34] And all of a sudden, all the obligations and things on my calendar really weren't all that important.
[00:09:43] Just didn't make any sense to put any effort or energy onto, you know, calling volunteers for the school.
[00:09:50] So there are times like that, that maybe you can relate, you know, it doesn't have to be something horrible.
[00:09:57] But take a peek through the lens of the big picture.
[00:10:05] Find your truths.
[00:10:07] And when you find your truths, how do those express as priorities?
[00:10:15] And when you find that, check your calendar.
[00:10:20] Because if your calendar isn't matching up with your priorities, there's no joy there.
[00:10:33] There's no joy.
[00:10:34] There's no fulfillment.
[00:10:35] There's just being obligated and tied down.
[00:10:38] And as I said to a client today, you are imprisoned.
[00:10:42] Girl, free yourself.
[00:10:48] And you can do that.
[00:10:50] You can do that.
[00:10:52] You can do that.
[00:10:53] Because that little voice in our head that says, but now we'll, you know, let's see, what's a good example?
[00:11:02] What have I done in my life that I actually imprisoned myself with?
[00:11:08] Um, let's see.
[00:11:11] Okay, I'll say coaching classes at CrossFit.
[00:11:15] But if I don't show up and coach the classes at CrossFit, what will they do?
[00:11:22] That seems like an important question until your kid's in the hospital.
[00:11:28] And then the answer is don't know, don't care.
[00:11:31] I gotta go.
[00:11:34] So use that lens to help you decide what's really the important stuff.
[00:11:41] And what do I really want to put in my calendar?
[00:11:45] And that's how we go from a kitchen drawer that won't close.
[00:11:50] An overstuffed life that all of a sudden we get some clarity like, holy crap, I'm overstuffed, imprisoned and obligated by my life.
[00:11:58] To wait a minute, I can choose.
[00:12:01] To how do I make it fit what I really value and what's really important to me.
[00:12:09] And then trying that out.
[00:12:12] Now, I hate to disappoint you.
[00:12:15] But you're just going to have to constantly reevaluate that.
[00:12:19] Because you're going to put some things in your life now that feel great that maybe don't feel great in the future.
[00:12:26] And you might be tempted to take the things that feel good now and oversaturate your calendar with those things.
[00:12:36] You know, I've been loving my yoga class.
[00:12:40] Sometimes I have a tendency to say, oh, yoga feels good.
[00:12:43] I should do it eight times a week.
[00:12:46] No, you don't need to do it eight times a week.
[00:12:50] Right?
[00:12:50] So don't forget, it doesn't mean you have to get rid of yoga.
[00:12:55] It doesn't mean you have to like jump into the yoga pool.
[00:12:59] You could half your yoga.
[00:13:01] You could double your yoga.
[00:13:03] There's lots of space in there.
[00:13:06] We tend to, with our calendars and our obligations, get like, well, I have to go to church.
[00:13:10] Well, yeah, but you don't have to go six times a week.
[00:13:14] So remember, there's some play.
[00:13:16] There's some play in there.
[00:13:18] So find that schedule that matches your truths.
[00:13:25] And then understand that you need to reevaluate your schedule every once in a while.
[00:13:29] Just like you are never going to keep your kitchen junk drawer organized 100% of the time,
[00:13:35] it's likely your life will not be organized 100% of the time either.
[00:13:39] So plan some checks in there with the season change, with your birthday.
[00:13:50] Hopefully it's not because a kid is sick.
[00:13:53] Hopefully you'll plan in some regular maintenance of, hey, am I still doing what I want to do?
[00:13:59] And what brings me joy and what I'm committed to?
[00:14:02] Or do I just have, you know, three neighborhood directories in there from four neighborhoods
[00:14:08] ago that I don't actually need or enjoy right now?
[00:14:11] I hope this has been helpful to you.
[00:14:14] For me, coaching questions are really helpful.
[00:14:18] And I still need a coach.
[00:14:20] If you would like to have a coach, hit me up.
[00:14:23] I'll be accepting new clients every once in a while.
[00:14:27] So if you love this podcast, please like, share and subscribe it.
[00:14:32] It really does help little old me know that you're out there and I'm making a difference
[00:14:36] for you, which I hope I am.
[00:14:38] Give yourself some grace and I will see you next time on Healthy AF.
[00:14:43] Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Healthy AF Podcast.
[00:14:48] I hope that it has helped you create a new possibility for your health and sets you into
[00:14:53] action to go get it.
[00:14:55] If you want more information or if you want to connect with me, visit my website at myhealthylife.coach.
[00:15:03] And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so that each new Healthy AF episode will be sent
[00:15:09] directly to you.
[00:15:10] Let's take you from where you are to where you want to go.
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