Change Ain't Always Easy, But is "Easy" on Your Personal Mission Statement?

[00:00:02] What you want, when you want it, where you want it. This is The MESH. Hey, I'm Amy Chang. I'm a nationally board-certified health and wellness coach, and this is Healthy AF. In this podcast, I'll be bringing you all things health, from the newest health strategies to how to tackle those personal roadblocks that just will not let you move forward.

[00:00:27] So buckle in. We're going to be inspired and instructed, and dadgum, we're going to have a little fun on Healthy AF. Hey, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Healthy AF. I'm so glad to have you here today. I want you to buckle up. We're going to get on a ride called What to Expect When You're Expecting It to Feel Good.

[00:00:52] Oh, goodness. Isn't lifestyle change, behavioral change supposed to feel good? Well, maybe not necessarily. So we had this great conversation in my group coaching session the other night. And just for background, my group is a group of five women, and they are doing such beautiful, challenging, confronting work, right?

[00:01:17] And we've looked at all the things in our life, our past experiences, our family, our culture that has sort of brought us to where we are today. And then we created personal mission statements.

[00:01:33] Now, a personal mission statement is maybe not where you are right now, but it's where we look at the very best parts of us and the things that we're committed to having and being and doing in our life. And kind of like amplify it so that if the very best me were standing over there, I sort of know what I'm shooting for.

[00:02:02] Like my ideal self. Probably never somewhere I'm going to get to. But unless I have written down those core commitments and expectations in my life, I don't have a compass. So we basically made our own personal compasses. I don't think I'm going to say that again because that sounded weird.

[00:02:28] But we make our own personal mission statement that guides what we do. And when I do this work with people, and we do this in individual coaching too, we don't do a personal mission statement, but we get very clear on, you know, everybody nowadays is talking about, you got to know your why. You got to know your why. Blah, blah, blah. Why, why, why? And you do. Okay.

[00:02:53] You got to have that bigger thing that drives you because sometimes things are going to get hard and you're going to want to quit or you're going to want to do something. Something that doesn't feel good because it's not aligned with what you said you wanted. And when we establish our personal mission statements, if you haven't done one of those, highly recommend that exercise.

[00:03:19] And you have that guide for who you want to be on your very best day. Okay. It lets you then align your words and your actions with that mission statement. Handy dandy tool. I mean, how are you going to get to where you're going if you don't have a map?

[00:03:45] And if you keep making wrong turns, we all know how frustrating that is. I know one time I got on the wrong 40, I-40, and I was heading back down toward the beach when I was supposed to be heading to Raleigh. And I think I drove about 30 minutes in the wrong way. Boy, I was hot as a cat on a hot tin roof that day. Just very irritated and frustrated.

[00:04:10] So we're in group and I was working with one specific lady. And she really wanted to do something that was just for her. Just for her own personal fulfillment. No specific reason.

[00:04:35] She just was really feeling like it was going to be a really healthy, very lovely experience for her to have in her life. Now, how many of us feel free and are really great at just saying, yeah, I'm going to spend this money and take this time because I want to and I think it's going to feel good. Yeah, no, me neither.

[00:05:05] Most of us, when we look at like, I've got to spend money, spend energy, ask people to take care of my kids or ask people to take care of the dog or ask people to water the plants. Whatever you got going on, right? We do that when we're expecting a return. A return that has some kind of tangible return.

[00:05:32] We'll pay the money to get our cholesterol numbers down. We'll pay the money to go back and be able to have a pay raise. We'll do the hard work if there's something that is more socially acceptable than it felt good and I feel like I've grown as a person. Yeah.

[00:05:58] Man, just saying that, I'm a little bit, oh, I'm just going to say disgusted. I'm a little bit disgusted with how much of our lives I feel like are governed by, well, if you're doing something, it has to be attached to a tangible result that you're getting back. No, it doesn't. It can just feel good.

[00:06:29] You can do it because it feels good. You can do it because it grows you. You know? So she's in the middle of this decision. She had two options of doing one program that would kind of help her at work and one program that she just wanted to do for herself. And so we looked at both those different options.

[00:06:57] And we did a really cool exercise, tapping into all her internal wisdom. It was really great. It was really great. And she got really the full effect of, you know, over here, this personal growth offering. It was like rainbows and butterflies felt great. Right? But then over here, the work offering that, you know, might make her more efficient, felt comfortable and logical and practical.

[00:07:29] Well, at the end of the conversation, she didn't have any more clarity or answers for herself. But the clarity that she discovered is that when you're expecting the actions that align with your personal mission statement to feel easy or good, there's a surprise for you.

[00:07:55] They sometimes feel hard because you've never taken those decisions before. When you set your sights on your highest and best self, it's likely that you haven't spent a lot of time living as that person. That person makes different decisions.

[00:08:17] And so when you go to make those different decisions, the first couple go rounds, you're likely to be very uncomfortable. Whereas the old decisions that maybe are practical, they're time-honored results, you know exactly what you're getting, right? Because you've done it 50, 11 times, even if you don't like it.

[00:08:42] There's the friction there is, I don't want to stay here, but it's easy to do. The friction over here with aligning your new actions with your new personal mission statement is, I feel like this is a spirit-led or a self-fulfillment action, but I've never done it before and I don't know that I'm worth it.

[00:09:12] And I don't know what it will bring me. So we ended the night with, there's friction everywhere. There's friction in new decisions and new choices, new behaviors, even when they align perfectly with their mission statement.

[00:09:32] We had such a fun time with this exercise because at some point she looked at that logical decision, you know, option that she was considering. And I was like, how's that feel? And she says, it feels comfortable. I'm like, okay, great. I said, now look at your personal mission statement. Do you see comfortable on there?

[00:10:01] No, of course comfortable wasn't on her personal mission statement. That's why a personal mission statement is so grand because you've made it and it's tangible. It could be a piece of artwork. Mine is. Mine is a flower. It could be a written word, you know, it could be a sculpture. I don't know. As long as you can like look at it and see, maybe it's a sculpture with language on it. I don't know.

[00:10:30] But once you call your shot, like this is my mission. When you do things that don't align with that mission, they stop feeling good. Even when they feel comfortable. And when you start doing things that align with that mission, they might feel good. But man, there's some friction doing them, especially the first few times. So the title of this podcast is what to expect when you're expecting it to be easy.

[00:10:58] Expect friction, but it's worth it. Aligning up, listening to yourself, living into who you really want to be, having your nervous system settle down. Feeling sturdy about your decisions, even though they are hard. Putting all the debating committee to rest. Letting go of the self-doubt.

[00:11:26] Knowing in your heart that you did the right thing. Being proud to tell your children and your grandchildren the decision you made, even if it was really, really tough. That's the life we're looking at. And when we go there, at some point, now at first it's going to be, you know, it ain't easy. Okay.

[00:11:52] But when we get closer to there, that's when the little tiny results that we are struggling with seem to start shaking out. And I'm going to talk about that in my next podcast. The little tiny results, like, why can't I stabilize my weight? Why do I always feel tired? Why can't I sleep?

[00:12:20] Why can't I have a consistent exercise plan? Why am I so stressed all the time? Why are my traps up in my ears when I lay down for bedtime? Those little things start lining up, too. When we start calling your shot, man. Make that personal mission statement. And do the hard work to line your words and your actions up with that. And eventually the results will fall in line.

[00:12:50] But you can't keep your focus there. So I hope that's helpful for you. Give yourself some grace. Just dump truck full of grace. And I'll throw this last little caveat on here, too. It's okay not to make all your changes at one time.

[00:13:09] And if you are not ready to let go of that thought or action that you're doing that you know now is not aligned with your personal mission statement, it's okay. You want to keep doing it? Keep doing it. There is power in choice.

[00:13:34] And at some point, the more you focus on who you really want to be, the less enticing these old behaviors will be. And it'll be easier to let them go. The friction of doing them will overcome the comfort of doing them. Love yourselves up. If you ever want to just sit down and talk about this for Pete's sake, click the little clicky button and schedule a consultation.

[00:14:03] I'll talk to you about what becoming a client looks like, what the different offerings are, and whether or not we can make something really freaking awesome happen in your life. All right. I'll see y'all next time on Healthy AF. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Healthy AF Podcast. I hope that it has helped you create a new possibility for your health and sets you into action to go get it.

[00:14:32] If you want more information or if you want to connect with me, visit my website at myhealthylife.coach. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so that each new Healthy AF episode will be sent directly to you. Let's take you from where you are to where you want to go. You've been listening to The Mesh, an online media network of shows and programs

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