Awakening Awareness: Is Your Life Living You?

[00:00:02] What you want, when you want it, where you want it. This is The MESH.

[00:00:10] Hey, I'm Amy Chang. I'm a nationally board-certified health and wellness coach, and this is Healthy AF.

[00:00:16] In this podcast, I'll be bringing you all things health, from the newest health strategies to how to tackle those personal roadblocks that just will not let you move forward.

[00:00:26] So buckle in. We're going to be inspired and instructed, and dadgum, we're going to have a little fun on Healthy AF.

[00:00:36] Hey, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Healthy AF.

[00:00:40] I wanted to do something really, I think, fun on this episode.

[00:00:45] This is going to be another either two or three-parter.

[00:00:49] I don't know. We'll see. We'll see how it flows and just get crazy with it.

[00:00:53] I had such a cool experience this week.

[00:00:58] You might know if you're on the web pages and the social media, you might know that we've got our fourth event.

[00:01:05] We've got our fourth event coming up this next couple of weeks here this month down here in Wilmington.

[00:01:11] We've gone across the state and talked about really living a full life.

[00:01:18] And so we once again are back at it.

[00:01:22] We've got an event coming up, and this time we've got three coaches talking.

[00:01:25] I'm one of them.

[00:01:26] And this is the first time that I have gotten to sit down with a fellow coach and create what it is we want to share.

[00:01:39] In the events of the past, it was like, I'll do me, you'll do you, we'll throw it at them, and it'll be great.

[00:01:46] And this time is just a little bit different.

[00:01:48] And it's so exciting.

[00:01:50] I really had a blast with my friend Scott.

[00:01:54] But the title of our event is Own Your Life, Taking Charge and Creating a Life Well-Lived.

[00:02:04] So keep that in the back of your mind because that's going to come up here in a minute.

[00:02:07] So my friend Scott Francis, and you can, I'll put his links in the bottom.

[00:02:12] He's great.

[00:02:14] I feel like he's sort of my counterpart.

[00:02:16] We're both CrossFitters.

[00:02:19] He is a stay-at-home caregiver for his children.

[00:02:22] I was a stay-at-home caregiver for my children, you know, growing up.

[00:02:26] And he went through Unbeatable Mind training.

[00:02:30] I, of course, went through Landmark and Duke Health to do my coach training.

[00:02:34] And so when I approached him about doing this event with me, I already knew that I liked the way he approached coaching in a CrossFit gym.

[00:02:46] You can tell a lot about the way people train and coach in any, I think, athletic space.

[00:02:54] But CrossFit gym is just my realm.

[00:02:57] So anyway, I already knew that I really liked kind of like what I was picking up what Scott was laying down, right?

[00:03:06] So we decided we're going to do this event together.

[00:03:11] And we meet at the coffee shop this week to look at, like, what were we going to say?

[00:03:17] Because we were kind of like vague.

[00:03:18] We picked this title out and we're like, yeah, that sounds good.

[00:03:20] I don't know what, I mean, what'll work out?

[00:03:23] It'll shake.

[00:03:24] And so he shows up, he pulls up and parks like right beside me.

[00:03:28] And we pop out of the cars and he says, I listen to your stuff.

[00:03:33] And I so get like, what you do is what I do.

[00:03:36] And I'm like, all right, now we're cooking.

[00:03:38] Right.

[00:03:39] So we walk inside and sit down and he gets to share with me.

[00:03:47] He's so generous with the way he shares with me the way he coaches people.

[00:03:56] And the whole time, my brain is not only connecting to the framework that he uses, to the framework that I use, to the framework that is going to be presented in a couple of weeks.

[00:04:12] And like all these little, it was like a, it was like a ping pong machine back in there.

[00:04:18] Pinball is like a pinball machine with all the lights and the music and, you know, the bonus points and stuff.

[00:04:24] Um, it was really, it was a really cool conversation.

[00:04:28] And we start talking about, um, the frameworks of coaching people through behavior change.

[00:04:37] Basically that's, that's what we do.

[00:04:39] Right.

[00:04:39] We, we coach people in mindset and, uh, typically mindset leads to behavior change because if you change your mindset, that's great.

[00:04:46] But if nothing else in your life changes, then maybe that's not so awesome.

[00:04:51] And then I said to him, you know what though, Scott, there's a step that happens for people before they enter into coaching,

[00:05:07] before they get that, um, awareness that something in their life could be different and they want it to be different.

[00:05:21] And so we started talking about that.

[00:05:25] And I wanted to share some of that conversation with y'all today.

[00:05:29] I think it's a valuable conversation.

[00:05:32] And we're going to talk a lot about CrossFit because, you know, that's my world and Scott's world and it's easy.

[00:05:39] Before I was ready to make changes in my life.

[00:05:48] I knew something didn't feel good, but I wasn't sure what it was.

[00:05:55] I knew that I felt overworked, underappreciated, unseen.

[00:06:11] Um, I felt busy.

[00:06:15] I felt like I was surrounded by people who loved me and were good people, but didn't engage with them.

[00:06:28] I guess it's the way I'd describe that.

[00:06:31] If I saw you in the pickup line, it was great.

[00:06:33] And I loved you with my whole heart.

[00:06:35] But as soon as we left the pickup line, man, I was doing 40, 11 other things.

[00:06:41] You know, I was hitting the Walmart and trying to figure out, you know, if it was going to be fish sticks and ramen again, or if I was actually going to cook something and who was going to eat it.

[00:06:50] And, um, that busyness, that busyness.

[00:06:57] Um, and I, I wasn't quite aware of what was missing or, um, what I could have done.

[00:07:10] I was rolling through the wash, rinse, repeat.

[00:07:16] The every day is somewhat the same.

[00:07:18] There's parts of joy.

[00:07:21] There's a lot of busy.

[00:07:24] Um, and it didn't feel particularly good.

[00:07:28] It didn't feel fulfilling.

[00:07:30] Um, it just, you know, when you strap in on the roller coaster of life, uh, not many of us will go like, oh, wait, um, I need to get off now.

[00:07:45] Because when we need to get off that ride, um, midway down a hill, it doesn't seem like there's any way for us to just unbuckle and jump off that roller coaster.

[00:07:57] So, Scott and I were talking about, um, there were clues and cues to me throughout that period that I was just sort of like going along, um, that I didn't pick up.

[00:08:15] Like, I could have probably saved myself 10 years of ho-hum had I clued in that there was something that I could actually do to bring myself some fulfillment.

[00:08:33] And the way we like to think about it is in cueing.

[00:08:37] When you coach an athlete, you use cueing.

[00:08:43] And there's different ways of, um, cueing people.

[00:08:46] You might walk over and look at somebody's deadlift and, um, take a piece of PVC pipe and tap their shoulder and say, hey, these shoulders need to come forward.

[00:08:58] And that's, that would be a tactile cue, right?

[00:09:00] Or you might stand, you know, 10 feet from them and say like, hey, you know, pull your knees back.

[00:09:08] That's a verbal cue, right?

[00:09:10] You might go in front of them and say, put your body in this position.

[00:09:15] That's a good visual cue.

[00:09:17] So there's all kinds of cueing, right?

[00:09:19] And in my CrossFit coaching career, I have done that thing where athlete A comes in and every time we squat, I give her the same exact cue.

[00:09:33] And every time we squat, she does the same exact error.

[00:09:37] And she just is not picking up what I'm laying down.

[00:09:41] Um, and that just happens, right?

[00:09:46] I went through a similar, um, a similar experience with my deadlift for years, years.

[00:09:54] I'd set up in my deadlift and coaches around me, two, three, four different coaches around me would say, pull your knees back.

[00:10:02] Pull your knees back.

[00:10:03] Well, I look at the bar and think like, I don't even know how to, what are they talking about?

[00:10:09] Had no idea how to make my knees go back anymore.

[00:10:16] And then one coach one day said, Amy, pick your butt up.

[00:10:21] And when I picked my butt up, sure enough, my knees went back.

[00:10:26] It was the right cue at the right time.

[00:10:31] And before that in my deadlift, I knew something wasn't quite working right.

[00:10:35] I mean, it was okay.

[00:10:36] I was still strong as a buck, but it wasn't efficient and it didn't feel like it was, you know, sliding along.

[00:10:42] It didn't feel like a heavy, effortless, proper deadlift.

[00:10:48] It felt, um, like I was fighting it.

[00:10:54] I was fighting it.

[00:10:57] And so I say all this to say, if you're in a spot in your life where things aren't feeling quite right,

[00:11:09] it either feels, your life either feels draining.

[00:11:13] You feel disconnected.

[00:11:17] You feel like you're spinning your wheels, you know, on the hamster wheel, can't get ahead, that kind of thing.

[00:11:26] There is something you can do.

[00:11:30] And usually you get the right cue from the right person at the right time.

[00:11:37] Even if you've heard that same cue over and over and over again,

[00:11:41] you can give yourself some grace around all the times you missed all the cues.

[00:11:49] And then you get the cue when you get the cue, right?

[00:11:52] You're ready when you're ready.

[00:11:54] So how do we get ready?

[00:11:56] And that's what we're going to talk about what we do when we get ready in podcast number two.

[00:12:04] But the way we create awareness in our life is twofold.

[00:12:08] Typically, this is what I see with my people.

[00:12:10] And this is certainly what I've lived through.

[00:12:14] We have a moment.

[00:12:18] Sometimes I call it a forced stop that feels like tragedy.

[00:12:29] It feels like a tragedy.

[00:12:32] It's a loss of a job.

[00:12:34] It's a loss of a friend.

[00:12:38] It's the death of a loved one.

[00:12:40] It's a really scary event where we think we're going to lose someone.

[00:12:46] It's when your kid gets really sick.

[00:12:49] It's when your house gets closed on or, God forbid, washed away by a hurricane.

[00:12:55] It's those big ones.

[00:12:57] Those are the forced stops.

[00:12:59] The medical emergencies.

[00:13:01] Forced stops.

[00:13:03] That have us stop and question.

[00:13:08] Wait.

[00:13:09] I know I'm on the roller coaster headed down at 150 miles an hour, but I think I want to get off.

[00:13:17] Those are the times that have us question that.

[00:13:21] But it doesn't always have to be that way.

[00:13:25] We do not have to wait for the forced stops.

[00:13:29] There's also a way to become aware.

[00:13:35] Sometimes it happens when we're sitting on our porch meditating.

[00:13:40] Sometimes it happens in a church or kind of anywhere you feel sort of the spirit move within you,

[00:13:49] whatever spirit it is, whatever higher power you look to.

[00:13:54] Sometimes it's by just stopping and sitting down and taking an honest look at your life.

[00:14:03] What's working?

[00:14:05] What's not working?

[00:14:07] An honest look.

[00:14:09] Always good to do that with another person so they can put your feet in the fire.

[00:14:15] Very difficult to be honest with yourself when you're pretty sure that you cannot get off that roller coaster.

[00:14:21] It's funny.

[00:14:22] I use this question a lot of times when people say like,

[00:14:25] well, yeah, I don't have time to meditate.

[00:14:26] I don't have time to, you know, like I can't do this.

[00:14:28] I can't do that.

[00:14:29] I'm like, okay, if I said, if you do this, I'll give you $2 million right now.

[00:14:33] Would you figure out a way to do it?

[00:14:37] And it's almost always yes.

[00:14:44] So let's just put your little tootsies in the fire on that, you know.

[00:14:49] So you don't have to have a forced stop.

[00:14:51] You can have some awareness.

[00:14:54] You can have some waking up.

[00:14:57] And that's the first thing that we are going to establish at our event in a couple of weeks.

[00:15:05] I think it's really relatable.

[00:15:08] I'm living, but I don't really know where I'm going.

[00:15:14] I'm not living my life.

[00:15:17] My life is living me kind of thing.

[00:15:21] So listen in to part two, because we're going to talk about what happens when we become aware,

[00:15:29] whether it's through a forced stop or a planned evaluation, spiritual retreat, marriage counseling, marriage retreat,

[00:15:38] any of those good nourishing moments for yourself.

[00:15:44] And what happens next?

[00:15:48] If you are beginning to tiptoe into some awareness, please do give yourself a heaping helping full of grace,

[00:15:57] because the behavior change that comes after the awareness is going to need you to not be wrapped in shame and poopy stink stink stories.

[00:16:05] It's going to really require that you are wrapped in self-love.

[00:16:13] So like and subscribe and share this episode if you love it.

[00:16:18] If you don't, it's okay.

[00:16:19] You can go find another episode to watch.

[00:16:22] And I'll see you next time on Healthy AF.

[00:16:27] Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Healthy AF Podcast.

[00:16:31] I hope that it has helped you create a new possibility for your health and sets you into action to go get it.

[00:16:38] If you want more information or if you want to connect with me, visit my website at myhealthylife.coach.

[00:16:46] And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so that each new Healthy AF episode will be sent directly to you.

[00:16:54] Let's take you from where you are to where you want to go.

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