Episode 116: Trust Yourself

[00:00:02] What you want, when you want it, where you want it. This is The MESH.

[00:00:10] In today's episode of The Written Compass, we're going to talk all about trust. How does writing and trusting yourself go together?

[00:00:17] I'm so glad you asked. We're gonna dive right in and get right to it and I'm gonna tell you all about it. Let's get started.

[00:00:26] Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of The Written Compass.

[00:00:30] Dr. Shana V here. I'm excited to be with you today. I'm going to talk about a topic today that

[00:00:37] comes up a lot. As you all know, I support people and going from idea

[00:00:42] to putting their words out into the world, leaving a legacy with their words that often

[00:00:47] and most commonly looks like self-publishing their books.

[00:00:51] And one of the things that my team and I really focus on is yes,

[00:00:54] we coach people and support people and read and

[00:00:58] offer a revision and all of the kinds of things for their actual words on the screen and the page.

[00:01:04] But we also coach the writer

[00:01:07] just as much and I would say that often becomes the most important element

[00:01:12] of someone really honing in and leaning into who they are as a writer and author,

[00:01:19] how they want to show up and share their messages and their words.

[00:01:23] And this really showed up for us ultimately this week in our conversations as a team as we

[00:01:29] were supporting a new person and potentially coming to work with us. And the idea of

[00:01:34] trusting yourself showed up. And if you aren't following me yet over on Instagram,

[00:01:39] I want to make sure you do that at the Shana underscore V on Instagram.

[00:01:45] And I did a post this week and I kind of felt a little compassionate anger as I shared it.

[00:01:51] So I kind of want to dive into how trusting yourself connects to the process of writing,

[00:01:59] of getting your words down, of expressing yourself and the importance of it.

[00:02:03] And I'm going to focus a little bit. I'm going to get a little gendered here in this

[00:02:07] conversation though. I feel like at some point all of us maybe have had this kind of distrust

[00:02:15] in ourselves. So my post started off this way. The first slide said,

[00:02:19] why can't we trust women to invest in themselves? And what I love about the work that we're doing

[00:02:27] Synergy Wellness Group and Synergy Publishing Group is we really do tend to attract a lot of

[00:02:34] women, female identifying humans, and they have the most amazing aspirations to share

[00:02:40] their story and publish their books. And there is nothing better than that moment when we are

[00:02:46] meeting someone new and we are sitting there and hearing what they're thinking and the whys

[00:02:51] behind their story and why they feel like it's so important and the encouragement they've had

[00:02:56] from other people who've been asking them to share their words. We love the moment when they

[00:03:01] finally say yes to their word, stepping in to receive support and honoring the book or the

[00:03:08] writing that has been tugging at them. And then here is where the interesting thing happens. So

[00:03:15] imagine this, you've found the support you've been hoping, wishing, praying for. You're like,

[00:03:20] I've got this tug to express myself in this way, to put these words out there,

[00:03:24] to write a book. And here we come or here's some entity comes that is saying, hey,

[00:03:30] we got you. Here's how we can support you. And it feels so aligned and you verbally express and

[00:03:38] feel in your body this full whole body. Hell yes. And this is often despite the fact that

[00:03:44] there may be a significant investment, despite the maybe little gremlin voice of fear that is

[00:03:50] showing up or you hear kind of in the background. And despite whether you've never

[00:03:55] done something like this for yourself before, we often work with people who have never invested

[00:04:01] their time, energy, resources in their true voice and story and experiences in this way.

[00:04:09] And it is amazing and magical. And then here's this interesting thing that happens, right? That

[00:04:17] trust voice that shows up, that trust decision that shows up all of a sudden gets met with a

[00:04:23] couple of different things. And here's what we often see. They say, this is great. Here's when

[00:04:29] I'm going to sign up or we might even go ahead and take all of their payment information,

[00:04:35] get them all set up and rocking and rolling. And they go and share it with some people.

[00:04:41] And this is where we also coach them and just say, be mindful of who you share

[00:04:46] your next steps with because not everyone, although they may be well-intentioned,

[00:04:52] not everyone understands what it takes to be successful or what it takes to step into alignment

[00:05:00] or to follow and trust yourself. And so here's what we often see. There might be a partner

[00:05:07] or spouse who will tell these women, no, we can't afford that. Family members suddenly need

[00:05:13] them to drop everything, travel to support them. There might be health issues that show up. We

[00:05:17] often, and I've experienced this whenever I've stepped up and in to a new level of support or

[00:05:23] investment. I might get sick or my kid might get sick. There might be something that breaks,

[00:05:29] like a car breaks down. You get a flat tire, the dishwasher goes out, or your kids need

[00:05:34] these really expensive new shoes for baseball or whatever it may be. And what's interesting is

[00:05:41] somehow money is found in all of, for all of these other things. But for some reason,

[00:05:52] you can't have, or you're hearing this voice of, you can't have what you want. So it becomes

[00:05:59] this conundrum and I will literally watch people shrink back. They suddenly are getting

[00:06:09] all these questions from people with good intentions. And that brings up doubt.

[00:06:15] The fact that you feel like you're needed for 357 other things, people, tasks that all of a

[00:06:20] sudden seem way more important than that powerful intuitive yes that you got. Your logical brain

[00:06:27] now finds your intuitive heartfelt yes as suddenly seeming very silly and impractical.

[00:06:35] So that big brave soulful yes that you felt, it suddenly starts to fade. And you realize like

[00:06:42] it's not going to be honored yet again. You're not going to get what you truly desire yet

[00:06:47] again. And so that voice that was so powerful, that was so clear, that felt full body you

[00:06:56] shrinks back into the dark. Right? It goes back to the corners where it's been

[00:07:00] hibernating for who knows how long. Many of the people we work with have been like,

[00:07:04] I've been thinking about my book for years and years and years.

[00:07:09] And all of a sudden you hear something like, it's okay. You know, that's fine.

[00:07:15] And you try to convince yourself, it'll be your time one day, maybe you think.

[00:07:20] And I just have no more you know what's to give for that. Why can't we trust ourselves

[00:07:28] and particularly why can't we trust women to invest in their stories, invest in their

[00:07:36] experiences to honor a yes when it shows up. And I do mean it in relationship to the work

[00:07:42] that we do and people putting their messages out in the world in words.

[00:07:46] But I also just mean it in a very broad sense. People are literally waiting, praying,

[00:07:54] hoping you and wherever you come from and whatever your experiences are,

[00:08:00] particularly if it's from a marginalized community, your voice, your experiences

[00:08:05] matter now more than ever. And people need to hear them. So when you are feeling that tug,

[00:08:12] what might it feel like to trust yourself, to trust your yes? Even more so when you're

[00:08:17] feeling and you're hearing someone talk about this powerful yes that they are experiencing,

[00:08:22] how can you simply be there to hold space for them versus questioning them versus making

[00:08:28] them doubt themselves versus bringing in a but what about right or suddenly having all these

[00:08:34] things that you need that are going to come become before what this person, this beautiful

[00:08:40] person who's finally saying yes to themselves is asking for support around. People need to

[00:08:47] hear from you. What if you trusted you and invested your time, your energy and yes,

[00:08:53] your resources accordingly? As you can tell the compassion and anger was pretty strong

[00:09:00] around this topic. But I think it's really important. And I think we don't have enough

[00:09:06] conversations around this mistrust that we have particularly around people who are not

[00:09:14] um always in the privileged communities wherever that whatever that might mean for you.

[00:09:20] And so I just get curious around trusting yourself, asking others for support versus

[00:09:28] permission and being really, really, really committed to sharing your story in the

[00:09:35] beautiful authentic ways that you know you can. So this was something it was kind of a

[00:09:40] quick and dirty message that I really wanted to get out. But I've been having lots of

[00:09:45] conversations with people around it. Some of my other clients were like, I saw your post. Oh,

[00:09:49] my goodness. Here's how I've been talking about it. Someone else shared, you know,

[00:09:53] people have been sharing other posts that have a similarity. But this idea of trust,

[00:09:58] I'm just getting curious and I invite you to maybe even do a little bit of writing about it

[00:10:02] just to see what shows up and just get really curious about how you may or may not be

[00:10:08] trusting yourself. How are other people supporting these decisions that you're making,

[00:10:12] particularly when it comes to being seen, sharing your story, sharing your experiences.

[00:10:19] It's important. It's powerful and we really need to stop silencing ourselves.

[00:10:25] So thank you for joining me in my compassionate anger today. And I cannot wait to continue

[00:10:32] this conversation. So as always make sure you respond, tell me what this brings up for you.

[00:10:37] What shows up if you do a little bit of writing about it. I'd love to hear about that as well.

[00:10:43] And today I want to give another shout out. Speaking of women, I am always looking to get

[00:10:49] connected to and support other women who are doing amazing things. And I want to tell you

[00:10:55] about Dr. Heather Bartos. Dr. Heather and I recently got connected because as many of you

[00:11:01] in my audience are, you're like me. You're a woman of a certain age and things they are changing.

[00:11:08] And I got connected to Dr. Heather because she has a true calling for advocating for women's

[00:11:15] health. She understands that health is an intricate tapestry of emotional, mental,

[00:11:20] and spiritual threads and not just physical ones. And she has become hellbent on honoring

[00:11:26] all of it. Not only is she an MD and had tons of experience, particularly focusing on

[00:11:34] women's gynecological health and beyond, but she's also a Reiki master. She's an energy

[00:11:39] healer. So she combines all of those beautiful things and is offering this amazing community

[00:11:45] called Menopause Rocks. It is the place where you want to go to be heard, believed,

[00:11:53] seen. Are you sensing a pattern here today? And I'm so excited that she and I have partnered

[00:11:58] together. I'm going to make sure in the show notes today, you have the link. She is creating

[00:12:03] a community, a membership area where you can get your questions answered, where you can

[00:12:09] share some of your health information and be able to receive real live support and answers

[00:12:16] and suggestions and be in a community of other women who are on that same journey.

[00:12:22] She honestly believes that this time in our life should be the best time, not our decline.

[00:12:27] And so that is why she is all about women's health and how menopause gets to rock. So if

[00:12:34] you're interested in that, be sure you head to the show notes and check out the link. We've

[00:12:38] got a beautiful affiliate situation set up and I'm so excited to support people who are on this

[00:12:45] journey because I think it's all connected. It's all a part about being ourselves and

[00:12:49] sharing ourselves and being okay with that and just trusting that. Thanks again for joining me.

[00:12:54] I'll see you next time. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of The Written Compass.

[00:13:00] If you are enjoying this content, do me a favor and go and review the podcast. This allows

[00:13:06] me to share and get these messages out to the people who really need them, who we want

[00:13:11] to read their books in the future. You can also go and share your thoughts and tag me

[00:13:16] at shanahartman underscore on Instagram. Again, this is just a way for us to get connected and

[00:13:22] share the writing love. And if you know that you are ready to write your book, that message

[00:13:29] that's been burning inside of you for a long time, then I want to talk to you. My team and

[00:13:34] I want to talk to you. Head on over to shanahartman.com and click work with us.

[00:13:39] From there, you'll see an application to explore and see if writing your book is your

[00:13:44] next best step. You've been listening to The Mesh, an online media network of shows and programs

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