Episode 56: ABBA’s Comeback, A Tired Irish Walrus, & The Angel of Notre Dame

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. The pub is open since it's kind of the end of summer. Sad times, right?

[00:00:32] Well, Labor Day was wonderful. A little cooler, not quite so hot. And in the spirit of summer ending, I purchased a Natty Daddy lemonade.

[00:00:46] 8% alcohol. Yeah. Made in where? St. Louis, Missouri. I don't love it. I don't love it. But I don't love seltzers. It's sort of a seltzer. And then I thought it wouldn't be a seltzer-y because it's not... Good name.

[00:01:06] Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I'll just stick with... But I tried it. If you like lemonade though, and you like seltzers, it's kind of sweet. I think there's too much sugar going on or something. But if you're a lemonade fan... Or a Natty Life fan. Or a Natty Life fan and you want to get hammered quickly... Get a Natty Life fan. Get yourself a... This is a 16-ounce can that will go right behind Fred Bird. I'm not even going to talk about the Cardinals. Fred Bird's hiding. He's so goddamn embarrassed.

[00:01:36] 12 games back. And where's Colton Wong's team? First place. Number one. By 12 games over the Cardinals. Anyway, I know people get bored with baseball talk. I'm not really following much except I like to check every day how bad the Orioles are to make fun of Lewis. Let's see how bad they are today. How many games back they are. Baltimore Orioles. Standings. We'll be playing the Yankees today at 6.05. Well, that's unfortunate for them.

[00:02:04] Oh my God, they're 42 games back. They have... Lewis's team has won 41 and they've lost 91. Oh my God. Yeah. They're raising in first place. The Yankees ain't going to make it either. Wow. The White Sox who? Managed and coached by whom? My old buddy Tony La Russa. I've done a bunch of benefits for Tony's ARF. Animal Rescue Foundation. I don't know why he ever asked me on the...

[00:02:34] Oh, he likes comedy. He listens to Sirius Radio. And at the time, he was with the Cardinals. And I was like, yes, sirree, I'll do your thing. Because yes, sirree, I'd like some tickets to my Cardinals. I never even asked though I was by him. I'm embarrassed to ask. But yeah, the White Sox hired him. And he's getting older. He's aware of that. And he's like, you know, they say I'm too old, Kathleen. They say I'm too old. I'm like, well, I don't want to say he's too old. I don't know. I don't know enough about baseball. But here's what I can tell you. The White Sox are in first place.

[00:03:04] So anybody who wants to say he's too old, at least this season, you were wrong. What do we got going on here? Well, let's get some termite things out of the way that have been really fun things. And this is from Cheryl. Cheryl, she also likes Ryan Hamilton. And if you've never heard of the comedian Ryan Hamilton, he's one of my favorites. Youngster. Not that young, but younger than me. Anybody younger than me, I think, is young.

[00:03:35] And she listens to the podcast. I'm free to shout out Cheryl from Oregon. Okay. I'm yelling at her. She saw comedies in cars and all that. So she said some really fun stuff, though. We'll get a little dolly. Look, it's a little coffee mug thing. It's got dolly. Very exciting. We'll put that front and center.

[00:04:03] Because the Theranos thing isn't moving until the trial's over. And we've decided. And look at this. It's a baby shoe. It's an Irish baby shoe. It's got little tiny clovers on it. It says baby shoe Madigan's first Christmas. So we'll put that next to that. That's adorable. That's great. Jack Daniel's whiskey praline pecans. Those are going straight to my mother. Because I just had an implant post on.

[00:04:32] And I can't be eating nuts. But tiny Tabascos, too. You know. Oh, and this one's got green jalapeno. Nice. Yeah. And Chipotle. These are so great. And you know what? I shouldn't be saying this, but TSA never catches it. No. They're in my purse. Yeah. I've never been stopped for tiny Tabascos. Tabascos. I'd like them, though. To take them out and go, ma'am, what you got? And then I love this. This is the shirt I wanted. It's Calm Down Karen.

[00:05:02] It's great. Then there's some more nuts. And then more tiny Tabascos. Okay. You guys, I'm good on these for a while. But my mom steals half of them, so. Yeah. Yeah. And I steal them. Don't feel paddles. Everybody steals my shit. The kids come in and take whatever they want out of these boxes without permission. Oh, do you care? Can't we eat all those chips I've ever sent you? God damn it. This, I wanted to get.

[00:05:32] There's other stuff that's been sent. And I have it all, you guys. I just don't want to do an hour of that because it seems kind of, I don't know, self-crituidist and stuff. So I just want to do a couple of weeks. But I do have other things. If yours hasn't come up, it's maybe because I got it out of order. Or maybe the man who moved all my shit, who came up to work on the thermostat. Maybe he did. This is all the way from Canada. So special shout out to Steph and Jen, the Edmonton sisters. There's a comedian from Edmonton named Lars Kelly. I never say it right. Is that you? Caillou.

[00:06:03] He's funny. And then I have to listen to. He's crazy. He is crazy. But in a Canadian way. In a good way. They sent me all the old Dutch, all the Canadian treats. And I don't like, that's for paddles. I don't like the ketchup. But I am excited to take, well, I had these on the bus when we went through Canada. Cheezies. And all Americans should know if you ever go to Canada.

[00:06:29] It's like in Ireland they have those things that are like shoestring potato things. Tatoes. Yeah, they're called tatoes. I don't know. It's like salt bomb. These are like, well, these are salt bomb. But they're just like a Cheeto. Except crunchier. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I could go through that whole bag, no problem. And there's more ketchup. So great. And then barbecue, which I like. We'll try the barbecue ones.

[00:07:00] If you're in Canada now, you know what to get, though. If you're up there for any reason, go for the old Dutch. That's what I'm reading with. Okay. Good. Yeah. Very good. And light. Yeah. The last one I'll try. Because then they sent some ranches. They're Canadian. But I think you can get them online. If you like. If I like them. Is that too loud for everybody? Oh, this is President's Choice. We have that here. Oh.

[00:07:31] Oh. What's that for? Cheesy garlic bread. Nice. Everything is written in French, too. Here's Canada, how you guys could save some money. Pick one language. Just vote. And then, you know, all the signs, all the paint you're wasting. Paint's expensive. Well, you could save a lot of money if you didn't have to print things twice. Loads of cheesy garlic bread flavor.

[00:07:58] Plain de cerveau, pain, olive, au fromage. Yeah. Exactly it. Well, I like to say it with that. Wayne Lafierre. Wayne Lafierre of the NRA. I wonder what he would do. He's such a serious person. If you were like one of the NRA people that got to meet with him or something, you would, hello, Mr. Lafierre. Yeah. This is Maison Orfait.

[00:08:27] Vinegar marinade ranch. See if you can get this online or am I just talking to these termites about shit they can't ever have? I don't know. I can't really tell. But I opened it, so I'm going to taste it. This does, well, this came from the Edmonton sisters, yeah. Yeah, but sometimes you can get them online here. What's it called? Maison Orfait. Maison like house. O-R-P-H-E-E. Acce de grave.

[00:08:57] You can't get it here? Yeah. That's a great vinegarette. Wow, it's good. It's a really good marinade. Look at all this stuff. I wouldn't eat this as ranch. Maybe I would. Maybe you would. Yeah. Do they? Yeah. All right. The other one is the K- They're hiring! What? They're hiring! They're hiring. Everybody's fucking hiring. I'm telling you people, if you go out on the road, there's no employees anywhere. Nope.

[00:09:26] Just plan on, man, I checked into, I'm going to say which hotel, because normally they're good. But there's, I got in at like 945, and I thought, well, surely the bar is open, right? Right. Has to be. Nope. What? Yeah. At a major chain hotel that you've heard of. And they were like, well, we don't have enough staff. And I'm like, well, I bartended. I know how. Can I just make my own drink?

[00:09:56] Give me the key. As a matter of fact, I'll make you money. I'll work for free. Who's going to know? There's only like 10 people that checked in late that want to get a drink. I'll start my own fucking party. And then I thought, I should just go to the liquor store, if I knew where one was, had I had a car, which I did not. Nope. I'm just telling you guys, it's weird out there. The Keg Steakhouse Ranch. Vinegarette Ranch Dressing. Nice. See if you can get this online. The Keg is an upscale longhorn.

[00:10:25] I have a funny longhorn story, but I can't tell it. Why? Because I don't know. It's too close to home or family stuff. It's just about somebody that always cries at longhorn. Not because of the food. That's really good. Not because of the food. The Keg is awesome. Yeah, I say to the Keg. Points. Oh, wow. I've got to tell my younger sister. It's gluten free. Wow. I will. I'll send her a shitload. No, sugar.

[00:10:55] Why did you send me ranch? I can't eat gluten. And she really can't. I have a shitload of friends that don't eat gluten. That don't have. She's got IBS and all that other crap. But they don't eat gluten just because they think that's a healthier move. You actually need gluten. If you're not truly have a gluten allergy or reaction. Celiac issues. Celiac. Look at my new lighter, guys. Fire!

[00:11:24] Now, I like this one because it bends. But if you're too dumb to know to push and click, look what they've come up with. Ready? Just one fist pump. But it doesn't bend. It's like a motorbike. Well, now I can't. You can't do it. Okay. Wow. Oh, my God. So, thanks for all the stuff, termite. There's your ranch updates. Oh, my God. So much news. What are our queens up to?

[00:11:55] Only one. Only one. Only one of them has done something. And that is Miss Stevie Nicks. Stither has snuck around and done a duet with Elton John. Yes. And Elton John, it doesn't come out until like, I don't know, like October, I think, or something. You can pre-order it now. She has a song on there. I'll look on his Instagram. She has a song called Stolen Cars.

[00:12:25] So, but Elton doing the duet album, whenever people do that, I know the end is near. I know. I don't want it to be. Well, I mean, I love Elton John, but, oh, why did it come up? Elton Cars. That's not what I typed. Jesus. No, it's not. Elton John, here we go. I'm going to tell you some of the people that's on there. He did get a crazy lineup of people. He did a duet with Young Thug and Nicki Minaj. Nice.

[00:12:55] Mm-hmm. Charlie Puth. Puth. Puth. I don't know who that is. He's a youngster. A young person? Mm-hmm. Okay. Godzilla. Godzilla. No. Yeah. Yeah. Godzilla. Instead of gorilla, Godzilla. I like it. I have to pull this up. It's so tiny. Miley Cyrus. Wow. Jimmy Allen. Lil Nas. My mom's favorite. Lil Nas and Eddie Vedder.

[00:13:25] I like Eddie. Stevie Wonder. If you go to my Twitter feed, I posted George Wallace's joke about Stevie Wonder. It's so funny. I just moved it off Instagram. Stevie Nicks. Glenn Campbell. He's dead. He took that song, I'm Not Gonna Miss You. It's about Alzheimer's. It's just so sad. He must have just sang with it. But I always feel like when the artist gets to this point, and I get it. You're like, who would I always do if I always wanted to sing with my whole life?

[00:13:54] But I feel like you're kind of closing shop. Yeah. The duet album thing. It's well, it's a bucket list. You're only doing bucket list stuff. I'm doing reverse bucket list. I'm going to see people that I think will die. Reverse bucket list. Hi, I'm Tom Selleck, and this ain't my first rodeo. I think it is, Tom. I don't see you as a person that goes to the rodeo. I really don't. Especially not where I've been to rodeos. So there you go. That's all my queen news. Not a lot.

[00:14:26] Update! Tanya's going back on the road. Tanya's going back on the road. Is her hip healed? She went out last weekend. Like a horse? Yeah. Good. Good for her. She's good. Because she likes the road. Or so she says, I believe her. First of all, I don't have an article about this. Update! The Elizabeth Holmes trial has started. No. Paddles, I didn't print it out so you would be quiet. Be quiet. All right. Thank you. The jury selection is began. She showed up. Not in her black... Of course she did. I know.

[00:14:55] Not in her black turtleneck. She's dumped all that. And I'm sure now when she talks, she won't have the divorce like this. Yeah. All you do is stick your finger in this machine. It'll tell me the exact minute you're going to die. She showed up in a navy suit with a skirt. So she's dumped the whole black pants, the whole Steve Jobs rip off turtleneck. Her hair is no longer in a ponytail. A tight ponytail. It's a... It's a...

[00:15:24] It's a really... It's a lazy blowout. It's somebody called... Somebody called it a something blowout. I replace that with lazy blowout. It's the fluffy... But it doesn't look great. It just looks like hurried. I'm busy. I'm a new mom. And now she has a baby. And so the... That podcast has started, the dropout. They already have their first episode about who are the prosecutors, who are the... Who's all involved. It's... As Dominic Dunn would say, it's delicious.

[00:15:53] He said that about every piece of gossip. I have delicious gossip. But if you want to hear it, that's back up and running. And it's the lady from ABC who's super smart that I like. I can't... Natalie... Hang on. Yeah. I think... Sometimes she does... Datelines, I think, too. It is. Vargas? Elizabeth Vargas. Elizabeth Vargas. Okay. And Rebecca Jarvis. And Rebecca Jarvis.

[00:16:23] Well, well done, ladies. It's a wonderful podcast. And unlike the British ones, we don't have scenes where people act shit out in the middle of it, which I am enormously appreciative that we don't have to sit through that. Even though... I like all the British ones, but I'm like, what is this acting bullshit? We don't need that. We're good without it. Anyway, that's an update. Update! Number two. Kid?

[00:16:51] The QAnon shaman has reached a plea deal. What? Uh-huh. And now he repudiates association with Q, his lawyer says. Oh, come on. His real name... Now, if you guys don't remember this, how could you forget? On the day of the traitors' uprising and trying to find Nancy Pelosi and Mike Pence running through the Capitol, Jacob Chansley is his real name, but he was dressed like a shaman,

[00:17:20] but also like a wolf. Like, he didn't nail the shaman thing. He looked like a crazy person. He looked like a crazy person trying to be a wolf shaman. That's how I would describe it for people who didn't get to see it. And then he had crazy red, white, and blue paint all over him for America. Of course. You got... He's a American shaman. So... And he had like a... Some sort of stick, scepter, giant thing. And anyway, that guy,

[00:17:49] the man known as the QAnon shaman has reached a plea deal with federal prosecutors after spending several months behind bars following his arrest for his conduct on January 6th. And he no longer wants to be associated with the QAnon movement, his lawyer said. This guy's been in jail since he's been arrested. It's been quite a bit. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I think he's a little... He's sorry. I think he's a little cray-cray just in general. Well, yeah. But it wasn't just Q. Not just Q crazy. Like other things.

[00:18:20] Yeah. Okay. I don't know. He entered the building in the chamber of the Senate on the January 6th attack. He has a plea hearing scheduled for Friday when they were reached out to Chansley's lawyers for details on the deal. The lawyer said it'd be inappropriate to comment on the details of the arrangement at the time, but he sent along a press release stating that Chansley repudiates the Q moniker and no longer wants to be associated. Watkins, an eccentric lawyer who has compared January 6th rioters to cultists who drank the Kool-Aid.

[00:18:50] What's so eccentric about that? That's what I would say. Said the Capitol riot defendants are... Okay, I wouldn't say this. He said... Oh, my God. He said, quote, fucking short bus people. Oh, my God, Grandpa. That is a pawpaw. You can't talk like that. He plans to hold a virtual press conference on Friday afternoon after the hearing. Mr. Chansley's a long-avowed and practicing shaman, but he has repudiated Q previously assigned to him.

[00:19:20] Assigned to him? Nobody assigned this to him. No. Oh, yeah. There's a picture of his horns. Remember his horns? Yes. He's kind of a good-looking man. Like, he did it well. Yeah. Like, he's not a nerd. He's in shape and a big, kind of bigger man. Wow. The road leading up to the events of January 6th has traversed years. The path charted by Mr. Chansley since January 6th has been a process, one which involved pain, depression, solitary confinement, introspection,

[00:19:50] recognition of mental health vulnerabilities, and are coming to grips with the need for more self-work. Good. Wow. It is imperative that patience and compassion be accorded those who, like Mr. Chansley, are nonviolent, peaceful, and possessed of genuine mental health issues, which rendered them more vulnerable to the propaganda of the day, but who, at the end of the day, seek to be accountable for their actions. About 600 people have been arrested in connection with the January 6th attack, with the vast majority of the defendants

[00:20:19] are free until trial. Several dozen of the defendants, including Chansley, who went through a mental health evaluation behind bars, but this is where he was also demanding vegan food. It's Lance Crackers or nothing. I mean, you're in jail. If you wanted to stay a vegan, you needed to stay out of jail. I don't know. They're probably offering all that now. Then I sound like total old meemaw. You're going to eat me first day, too. You've got to do it. I don't know.

[00:20:48] He was ordered to be held in jail until their day in court. Chansley's documented conduct on January 6th was less violent and destructive than many of the other defendants who were released until trial. Yeah, but you're the face of it. You were the leader. Every Twitter feed had a picture of him. Yeah. Sorry, man. You put yourself in a costume and you go to the front of the line, you're going to get noticed. The details of the plea are unclear.

[00:21:17] The amount of time in prison he could ultimately receive his sentence might align with the amount of time he's already been in prison. Probably. Last month, Carl Dresch was sentenced to sign served and released after spending six months. That's just some other briar. He spent six months in jail. Like Chansley, Dresch faced a felony count of obstructing an official proceeding for his conduct. Unlike Dresch, Chansley also faces an additional felony charge of civil disorder. Yeah.

[00:21:47] It's going to be a rough fall for the shaman. Have fun in yourself. Well, the thing is, if Q wouldn't have brought all these people together, I think that lawyer's right. There's a lot of people with mental problems that would just be alone. But you get on these chat boards and then they say, we're meeting at the park. Light the fire. And now you got a meeting of them. Yeah. And it gives them a... Yeah. Update!

[00:22:20] Remember I told you guys about Beyonce and Jay-Z and the Tiffany ad? Now, Beyonce's disappointed and angry after unwittingly wearing a two-point... This is Euros. I don't know what that is in dollars. Whatever. $22 million gem labeled a blood diamond. Here's the thing, guys. I think at this point, if you're paying attention,

[00:22:50] we all are aware that the South Africans... But we've seen enough shows that the ones in South Africa generally have horrible... Well, especially when this shit was found. They were horrific work conditions. And she didn't, I guess, hear about that. She became the first black woman and the fourth person ever to wear the 128-carat Tiffany diamond. But you gotta... I mean, I don't know.

[00:23:20] If you're gonna wear it, then you gotta just say, hey, that was a long time ago. I've checked. Things are different. You gotta own it if you do it. But a source said she was upset she was never told of its grim history. It was dug from the Beers Kimberley Mine in colonial South Africa in 1877 by poorly paid black labor in horrendous conditions. I'm surprised they paid them back then. They were forced to work at speed and cramped conditions, often causing fatal accidents.

[00:23:49] Workers' housing had no natural water or waste disposal, with 1,144 dying from a range of illnesses including pneumonia and scurvy between 1897 and 1899 alone. In 1879, the yellow diamond was sold to Charles Tiffany. Charles. Who had founded the high-end U.S. jeweler. Socialite Mary Whitehouse showed it off at the 1957 Tiffany Ball in Rhode Island.

[00:24:15] And the British actress Aubrey Hepburn wore it to promote her movie Breakfast at Tiffany's in 1961. And then Lady Gaga got a hold of it and wore it to the 2019 Oscars. I mean, I guess she knows the Tiffany people. Beyonce put it on for the photo. It was a photo shoot. But in an online backlash, critics likened it to so-called blood diamond, a gem mined in a war zone to finance violence or illegal activity. Beyonce is aware of the criticism. And she's disappointed and angry she wasn't made aware of questions about its history.

[00:24:45] She thought that every final detail had been vetted. How about the biggest one? Where the fuck did this come from? That's the biggest one. Wow! You have the biggest diamond in the world? Where'd you get it? That's like the next question. Any person... Ay-yi-yi. She realized that the only thing they forgot to ask about was overlooked was the diamond. I'm just... You know... We're doing the Lord's work here. We're trying to... We're trying to...

[00:25:13] Not everybody had a father like mine that I had to sit there and learn world history every single night of my life, which I didn't mind. But I mean, come on. Diamonds? Of that size? Found back then? Wow. Cute! At least should I ask. Update! Update! Update! I'm so tiring of this story. Not of the podcast, but...

[00:25:39] I'm so tired of the Louisiana hillbillies going at it. Britney Spears' lawyer claims her father wants $2 million to step down for the conservatorship. Here's my question, and I have to Google it. This is where I need to do my own homework. What did her father do before she was famous? Did he have a job? A career? Anything? Because I feel like he wants $2 million.

[00:26:09] That's not enough to live the rest of your life. I mean, what's he plan on doing? He's not that old. $2 million depending on what you've already paid for, I guess. I don't know. I mean, why? I can't believe I would have to pay my dad $2 million for anything. I just give my parents money. There's nothing before my parents. Psychologist. Oh, God. Britney Spears will not be extorted, a filing says on Britney's behalf.

[00:26:39] Mr. Spears' blatant attempt to barter suspension and removal in exchange for approximately $2 million in payments. On top of the millions already reaped from Mrs. Spears' estate. Mrs. Spears' estate. And by Mr. Spears, in his associates, is a non-starter. What? Did he have a job? No job. They're just saying he's trying to extort it, and they're not going to give it. But, you know, I don't know. What good is $2 million depending on what your house paid for?

[00:27:09] I think he's like 60-something. If he lives to 80, that's 20 more years. My brother will do the math. I'm not a financial advisor. I'm a lady with a baby shoe ornament. Uh, update! This one's unbelievable.

[00:27:28] The South Dakota Attorney General Jason Ravensborg pleaded no contest Thursday to a pair of misdemeanor traffic charges over a crash last year that killed a pedestrian. Avoiding jail time, despite better complaints from the victim's family that he was being too lightly punished for his actions they called inexcusable. Yeah. He's the guy who said he thought he hit a deer, but the man that he hit hit his windshield so hard that the dude's eyeglasses flew through the windshield into that man's backseat.

[00:27:56] I'm sorry, but... Yeah, we've been over this. Here's what he got. This is the end of it. But Judge John Brown had little leeway to order jail time. Instead, he fined the state's top law enforcement official $500 for each of the two counts. Okay? That's $1,000. And ordered him to pay court costs at $3,700. So he got off for less than $5,000.

[00:28:19] And you know it is, I'm going to say, I think, doesn't mean it's true, he was drinky-drinky that night. Yeah. The cop drove him home. He had a way with it, though. Wow. He's going to stay in office, even though a lot of even Republicans have said no, dude. And he's saying, and they did check his phone. He wasn't texting at the time. He had texted a minute ago. Like one minute.

[00:28:47] But, you know, you're swerving. You think there's nothing out there. What if there was a Bigfoot? What if you hit a Bigfoot? It's too bad, though. That's the end. The family's super pissed. It should be. That's my fault. He didn't even attend the hearing. Oh, my God. Right. And that really pissed off the family. Why, after waiting nearly a year, do we not have the chance to face him? Adding his behavior is cowardly and leaves us frustrated.

[00:29:17] Her brother, she's adding that her brother was left behind carelessly the night he died, and she accused Ravensburg of running down her brother and using his position and resources to string the case along. She said he showed no remorse and only arrogance towards the law. All true. Wow. I completely agree. Thank God. Yeah. So. Jamie Spears. Jamie Spears. He was a welder. He was a welder? By trade. By trade? Yeah, but he had a lot of drug issues. He had drug issues? Well, welding's a good career.

[00:29:46] Not if you're on drugs, no. My dad was a pipe fitter before he was a lawyer. Mom, my uncle was a pipe fitter. The welder's union's a strong union. Let's try to get him back in. I'll make some calls. Do you think Jamie wants to move to Missouri? You want to be part of the welder's union? I bet some of my uncles could help figure that out. Sorry you lost your job. Yeah. Sorry you lost your sweet-ass gig. Tell you who needs a lot of construction people, Nashville.

[00:30:15] Won't be union, but you can go get a gig welding down there. Update. Oh, the chickens are coming home to roost. The first sentencing in the plot to kidnap Mission Governor Gretchen Whitmer. Hi. You know, she kind of sometimes has the runaway bright eyes, Gretchen. It was handed out last Wednesday.

[00:30:45] Ty Garbin, a 25-year-old airplane mechanic. Now, see, why do you need to get... Airplane mechanics are a good job. I've known two in my life. And they liked it, and they got paid well. They had no problems with the gig. You had a good gig. You weren't a loser. And he's one of the ones in Michigan that met in the basement of the vacuum repair store, which I can't believe those still exist. In the basement of it. Right. What's really going on there?

[00:31:11] He was sentenced to 75 months in prison for charges of providing material support for terrorist acts and felony firearms charges. He will then serve three years of supervised release and has also been fined $2,500. There's a picture of him. He looks normal. He also must seek substance abuse treatment, and all computer use must be approved.

[00:31:35] He initially pleaded not guilty, but changed his plea and cooperated with the investigators within weeks of being arrested, the Associated Press reported. He willingly put a target on his back to begin his own redemption. They had previously asked the U.S. district judge to take his cooperation into consideration during sentences, recommending that he serve a nine-year prison term. How long is 75 months? 24 months is two years. 48 is four. Five.

[00:32:05] Hmm. For what? You want to keep... My favorite thing is they wanted a kidnap the governor, but then they were going to extradite her to Wisconsin. I don't... I want someone to write that book, and I want to hear what went on in the meeting about why you would even want to do that. They asked him to not take the guy... To take it into consideration that he did not have a criminal record prior to the plot, but he suffered psychological, physical, and emotional abuse by his father all his life,

[00:32:35] which predisposed him to becoming swept up in a group such as that charged in the current indictment. You know, a lot of people have suffered all those abuses, and you don't go do this. I can't listen to that. As a judge, I would just be like... Because Elizabeth Holmes is going to claim that the boyfriend was abusive to her and this and that. He controlled her. Well, who's on the front of Forbes, Liz? You are. Not him. If it was him, I'd go, if you're the second person, he's the real leader and you're just the tag along? Maybe.

[00:33:06] But anyway, he really did help the cops. He filled in all the gaps. He told them everything that went down. And he said a lot of time to reflect on his actions. And I never realized what my actions would have caused to her, but also her family. He didn't kidnap him. Well, I don't think he thought that her family would care that she'd been kidnapped.

[00:33:33] Because it depends on how your family rolls. He also said he was selfish for not taking that into account, how his actions would affect his own family. They had planned, this is what they had planned, remember? A paramilitar operation included sinister plots to execute government officials, storm the Capitol building with explosives, and send bombs, code-named cupcakes, according to the FBI. And then it's just... Gretchen said the plot against her was just shocking. Shocking.

[00:34:02] But you have to say it with daddy accent. So, maybe they could put him... Here's how you could start a whole other cult. You could put him in the jail with the QAnon shaman. And then he could say, this is what we're going to do in Michigan. And then he could say, here's what we did in D.C. And they could make a friend. Oh my God, we're moving on. No more updates. We're moving on to the greatest news in the whole world.

[00:34:32] Abba! Abba! Yeah! Has two new songs. Oh my God. And it's going to be a new album. No way. Yes. Now, a long time ago I watched a documentary about... It was mainly focused on the one lady. Yes. Yeah. And she's a bit of a cuckoo bird. Not bad. Just a little eccentric. And she moved to an island somewhere off Sweden.

[00:35:01] She didn't want to be popular anymore. She didn't want to be part of Abba. She freaked out. Which I could see freaking out. And she wanted to be home with her kids. And she felt bad she wasn't home with her kids. I understood it all. Except then she had a stalker. And then she ended up marrying him. Then she ended up divorcing him. And they had to extradite the guy from Sweden again. Because then he kept stalking her again. You know. What's the bumper sticker say? Once a stalker, always a stalker. Okay, that's just a bumper sticker. That says that. But anyway, I guess she's okay now.

[00:35:30] This is so crazy. And wait till I tell you what they're going to do after that. Nearly four decades after disbanding and vowing never to get back together. And Swedish Superstars Abba on Thursday announced a musical comeback with a new album and a London show. Oh my God! Featuring their performances captured by digital avatars. That's fantastic. Yes. So I went and watched these videos of...

[00:35:58] They built their own venue in London. Because somebody said... Because it's so complex. And it's so... Like half the venues that I go in, especially theaters, to do something like this. No way. Some of these theaters are from the 1800s. We're lucky they have an iPad that can run the lights. I mean, what this requires though... They're like, where's the bathroom? Oh, it's three floors down. There's no elevator. Good luck in your heels. Okay.

[00:36:28] They said there was no venue in London that could support that, the level of technology. So the one guy, the one Abba guy, I don't remember which one, he said, well then let's build one. And if you go online, we'll put a link to the article. Show us. The whole... It looks like a giant spaceship and it just says ABBA on the outside. I mean, to do this... But I mean, they have the money.

[00:36:54] ABBA notched up over 400 million album sales over 50 years despite parting ways in 1982 and resolutely resisting all offers to work together until now. Now, we've made a new album, said the bands Bjorn Olves and Benny Anderson announced via video presentation in London delivering the news that the fans have waited for for decades. This is what's crazy. In the video that we'll put in the show notes, we'll paddle as well. I don't know how to do that.

[00:37:24] The album's done. So they went in to studios and they put them in those, you know, it looks like a wetsuit that has the sensors all over them. And then they, in real life, 160 digital nerds. I'm so jealous of these people.

[00:37:45] Got to watch ABBA sing all the songs for the concert that will then be just avatars, which I don't know if I'd want to... I know you say you would. I'm in. It's gonna... It seems way techier than Whitney's hologram. I'm just saying. I don't know. I don't know. But I think ABBA got put a little more... And they're Swedish, so they're always of the future. They're always smarter than us.

[00:38:13] The documentary is called When All Is Said and Done. And boy, I'll tell you, if you were... Even if you don't even give a shit about ABBA, it was a crazy story. Yeah. She married the stalker. She did marry the stalker. Yeah. Well, she became curious after a while why he wanted to know so much about her. Wake up every morning and ask for an autograph. But she isolated herself on an island. And...

[00:38:39] I mean, her one daughter with her kids, I think, lived out there or something. But anyway. I might go because of the experience. But I think it's creepy that they're not real people. I know I'm... I'm just... I don't know if I am young enough to make that transition. I'm going to be the old lady at the... 20 years from now. What do you mean there were no real live people? And then all the nieces and nephews will roll their eyeballs and go,

[00:39:08] Kat, nobody does that anymore. And I'm like, what do you mean? People don't show up? I'm going to start making one of me now. So I can send it out. And then when I have a new joke, I'll go into the thing and go... It's such exciting news if you're an ABBA fan. But then I think... And they show clips of it. It looks very, very, very real. More real than the Whitney hologram, I can tell you that. And they danced. They did it all in real life.

[00:39:36] So what you're seeing is really what they did. They're not... That's awesome. Yeah, it's an avatar versus a hologram. Somebody smart can figure all that out. More news! Yep. This is crazy. A trove of Nazi artifacts found stash in wall of German house. Oh, wow. Speaking of which, a show Louis Black recommended.

[00:40:05] They defeat it. Yes. Very, very good. It's a show... Because there's others that while I'll talk about... Well, you know what? Let's talk about what we're watching. Because I haven't talked about that in the past few weeks. Just because I've been busy with family stuff and then the road too. White Lotus. I love Connie Britton. I liked it. But I'm getting a little overloaded with rich white people's problems.

[00:40:33] And I know exactly where that thing was filmed. Because I did a corporate gig. That was filmed at the... I will bet everything I own, 1,000% sure. The Four Seasons in Maui. And I had a show there and I thought maybe I'd stay a couple extra days. And I left because it was creepy rich people. I went to where there's penguins in the lobby. In the fountain. The Hyatt. And I want to be on a big beach where I can take beach walks. They have their own private beach. Everything is private and exclusive.

[00:41:03] Which if you're into that, then great. That's your spot. I am into where are the people? Where's the beach bar? Maybe I'll wander down to the Hilton. The penguins in the lobby. Just really. The Grand Walea. Come on. Anyway. White Lotus. I love Connie Britton. I liked it. I didn't... I kept waiting for something to happen. Oh, I liked it. I liked it a lot. Lewis liked it. But Lewis agreed with me.

[00:41:33] How many more shows can we see about miserable rich people? And like if my... Say my sister and brother-in-law and there are three kids who are about those kids' age. Well, no. Those are littler. But whatever. Kids. Teenagers. And then younger ones. They would be having a blast. All these shows about these rich, white, miserable people. The teenagers are always miserable. And I just don't find that to be the case. At all. My nieces and nephews would have a blast there. Like, quite frankly,

[00:42:00] they would be considered well off. If you're at the Four Seasons. Yeah, if you're at the Four Seasons. If you make it there. But even if you make it to the Hilton or the Hyatt. It's Maui. Come on. I just don't... And then to go one step further. The next show in line. And it's unfortunate timing. Nine Perfect Strangers with Nicole Kidman. And I love her. I love Melissa McCarthy. I don't mind.

[00:42:29] There's nobody in the show I don't like. As an actor or whatever. I can't... I can't do it. But now I'm stuck. Like, now I have to find out. What's happening? And I don't get it. I preferred White Lotus. This Nine Perfect Strangers I find beyond annoying. But now I'm stuck. And I want to see the end. Problem with Nine Perfect Strangers. Same problem with White Lotus. There's no one that you actually like and root for. Nobody. They're all assholes.

[00:42:56] And one way or another, everybody's an asshole. Are whiny. Or... Nobody has a sense of humor. Nobody. In any of them. Melissa McCarthy. Well, yes. Melissa McCarthy I like in Nine Perfect Strangers. Because she's probably the lady I would be like. It's a health retreat place. But she was a little panicked about that and hid vodka in her trunk. I'm like, I'm with you there. Because what if it gets too healthy? Right. And then the other show, speaking of Nazis, is the undefeated.

[00:43:25] I believe it's on Netflix. I'll hook us up on that. Oh, the defeated. Not the undefeated. Right. And it's post-World War II. Immediately post-World War II. Where Berlin is divided into sections of Russia, us, England, and the British section. And I don't know what the fourth one was. That's terrible. Oh, I should know that. Anyway. British. I said British. Russian. American. Yep. Did they leave the Germans with one? I don't think so.

[00:43:55] No. There were four. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's a really good show. It's intense, though. But it's better than White Lotus or Nine Perfect Strangers. France. France. Oh, oui. France. How do you think some cheese? I'm not sure the French deserved one. That's for another episode. That's a whole different episode. That's a private conversation with me and Jack Madigan.

[00:44:25] Yeah. He wouldn't have given him one, I can tell you that. That show, though, is great. And then I told Lewis, because Lewis told me to watch it. I go, well, I didn't like the ending part, though. And he's like, it's not over, you moron. I go, whoa. I thought it was over, over. He said, no, they're going to do more. The Brother, you don't even know where The Brother went. And I go, I just assumed he's wandering around Berlin. I was good with that. I was kind of okay with the ending.

[00:44:55] It's weird for Libra. Yeah, well, I've given up on these people wrapping things up. Libra would like a good, balanced ending, and I don't really get it off enough. So there's a trove of Nazi artifacts found stashed in a wall of a... Also, sorry to backtrack. I am going to watch the Bob Ross Joy of Painting documentary, because I loved the Joy of Painting. But I don't know if it's going to make me feel sorry, like bad for him.

[00:45:23] I might want to leave that legend intact. Likely hidden as allies advanced in the city at the end of World War II, the cachet includes gas mask, a revolver, and a box of documents. How crazy is this that all these years later you can still find all this shit? Last month, a history teacher cleaning out his aunt's house in Hagen, German, after severe flooding, discovered a trove of Nazi artifacts hidden behind a wall. I got goosebumps, Sebastian Yurtzsen told media. I didn't think it would turn into such a huge discovery.

[00:45:53] When he pulled out a rotten piece of plasterboard, he spotted a foot-wide space behind the wall containing a newspaper dated to 1945, writes insider Sophie Ankle. Investigating further, he found a cache of World War II artifacts, including a portrait of Adolf Hitler, a revolver, gas mask, Nazi party badges, brass knuckles, letters, and documents. As it turns out, how crazy is this?

[00:46:17] The building housed the local headquarters of the National Socialist People's Welfare Organization during the Nazi era. Yurtzsen and his aunt say the family had no idea of the history when they purchased the property in the 60s. I don't know about that, but okay. That's only 15 years later. I don't know. Depends on if you're from there. If you're from there, you knew what was going on.

[00:46:45] If you're from a different town and you toddle in and there's a for sale sign, you might not have. Rolf Blank, manager of the Hagen City Archive, tells Frankfurter Allemain that the NSV members probably hid the documents and other materials in the wall when the Allied troops marched into the city in April of 1945. That must have happened very in a hectic manner. So they had to dispose of sensitive materials. It's unusual to find an intact trove. Yeah.

[00:47:15] We hope, for example, to come across files on the distribution of so-called Jewish furniture, which was also art. Yeah. Anyway, that was just kind of freakish. Like, wow. There's also a hundred-year-old Nazi that they're putting on trial in Germany. I keep forgetting to talk about it. But they're not saying the person's name. And they're not saying all they're saying is the person was a guarded concentration camp. And then the big argument is should you prosecute when they're a hundred? You don't know what I say? Yes. Yes. Firing squad.

[00:47:43] As a message, we don't need this shit happen again. And any of you people that want to do bad things, just know we will haunt you and haunt you and haunt you. That's a message. From Smalls. Oh, more news. Who eats at Wendy's? Me. My mom. Yeah, your mom. She loves her chili. I do, too. But then also my parents go up there for ice cream cones. They also go to McDonald's for the soft serve dollar.

[00:48:13] It's only a dollar. Yeah, they do love Wendy's. Here's the greatest news. Wendy's is upgrading its french fries. Yeah, listen to this. Few things in life are worse than a soggy french fry. No. There's like a billion things in life worse than a soggy french fry. How small is your life that you're like, the day was going great. And then I got a soggy french fry. And I was like, fuck. Day ruined. Wendy's has a solution.

[00:48:42] The fast food chain is giving its top selling menu a makeover for the COVID era. A fry that retains more heat and keeps its crispiness longer compared to its predecessor. The upgraded fry, which will be available nationwide by mid-September, was created as more people shift their ordering preferences to drive-thrus and deliveries because of the pandemic. Although the look of the new fries will be familiar to Wendy's fans, the flavor won't. They're not going to notice the difference as soon as they taste it. The proof will be in the tasting.

[00:49:11] What we've done is balance the cut of the fry, keep a little bit of the skin on the potatoes on the fry to be able to drive flavor. We use the batter system that now allows us to be able to maintain crispiness both when they're fresh and out of the fryer. Okay? They're also spending an additional $10 million to advertise its burgeoning breakfast menu. Hmm. Hmm. I don't know. My favorite was always the old McDonald's fries.

[00:49:42] And then they took them away because they said we were all too fat. And I thought, you know what? Man, yeah, they're terrible for you. But I think they should have a scale in McDonald's. And if you weigh within, I don't know, 20 pounds of what you should weigh, you should be able to get the fries. Right. If we're going to be, you know, strict about it. Right. Right. There was a quote in here, though, that something was like.

[00:50:14] And in other fast food news. McDonald's. Others consider closing indoor dining, indoor seating amidst Delta surge in the US. I have never really understood why the fast food have indoor dining. Like, old people and teenagers. That's all I can. Or kids. People with little kids. People with little kids? Yeah. But they're usually in the drive-thru.

[00:50:43] They're the people I'm behind in the minivan. Can I have 17 cheeseburgers? No ketchup. Two just mustard. Seven. No pickles on any of them. Christ. No. Hold the pickles. What? Yes, I have coupons. Two of these burgers will be free. Moving on. Like, we are lucky there's anybody in a Taco Bell working. And then to put up with the shit they have to put up with. I'll tell you who my biggest heroes are. People working at fast foods in airports. Yes. Where'd you park?

[00:51:13] LAX? The Los Angeles airport? New York? Yeah. Where did you have to park? Because I know where I got dropped off. And I got dropped off by a car and I don't even work here. I got dropped off at the closest place a human can be dropped off at. You could work at a Taco Bell just outside the airport. Yeah. You don't need to put... Those are my American heroes. That's who I'd have. If I was the president, that would be my hero dinner. It would be people that are willing to do that. Because... People with little kids go in.

[00:51:46] Yeah. But most McDonald's don't have the playground. Some. 50%. Oh, yeah. Your Chipotle does, too. Yeah. Kids like to jump in the balls. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I don't... I don't know. They don't have any employees. No, they don't. And they're thinking about closing it. You know? And then COVID... You know, if you're all... Can't be jumping at all these kids that aren't... I almost... I almost said evacuate.

[00:52:14] All these kids that aren't vaccinated shouldn't be jumping around in plastic balls where there's spit everywhere anyway. That's just my take on that. Nice. Um... Okay. This story made me laugh so hard. And then I cannot... I sent it to my dad. And I could not believe his email back. Wally the walrus to get his own pontoon boat. That's right. What? There's a walrus in... There's a walrus. Walrus. It's hard to say. Uh-huh.

[00:52:44] Uh-huh. He first made waves in Ireland when he was spotted in County Kerry in March. The 800-kilogram walrus... And we looked that up, right? That's 2,000 pounds. Yeah. How many? 1,800? No. 800. 800. 800 pounds? Mm-hmm. 1,800 pounds? Yeah. 1,700 pounds. He has since traveled 2,485 miles, has been spotted in France, Spain, and the UK.

[00:53:12] The Irish Whale and Dolphin Group said he was sinking one or two boats in every harbor he enters. What? So, he's so tired from swimming. Imagine swimming from France to Ireland. And he's so fat that when he sees a boat, he just... He's tired and he wants to get on the boat. And he's very friendly. They have videos of him and he's real cute.

[00:53:40] And he's got the giant little teeth, tough things hanging out in his little paddles as his arms and stuff. But these aren't necessarily large boats these people have in harbors. And I don't know what I would do if I saw a walrus getting on my boat. I guess I would gun it and just hope that it fell off because it will sink the boat, depending on the size. And he's sinking one or two in every harbor. He was most recently spotted at Crookhaven Harbor in County Cork on Wednesday. Okay.

[00:54:10] Padraig Huli, the sighting officer, said boat owners should cover their vessels or remove engines to protect them from damage. It's absolutely fine on its own and there's no evidence it will benefit from human protection. This is why you're not supposed to approach Wally. He's fine. Don't mill around on boats as it has the potential to disturb this animal. The walrus is doing absolutely fine without us.

[00:54:36] Meanwhile, seal rescue Ireland hoped a pontoon will offer Wally an alternative resting spot. He just gets in the harbor and he's tired. And the first thing he thinks, sees, he's like, I gotta get on that. I'm so goddamn tired. He swam from France and he's fat. He's like an elephant. He is like an elephant seal. However, executive director Melanie Somso said it was proving difficult to get the floats in place in time before Wally moved on.

[00:55:05] It's like Wally shows up, jumps on a boat, sinks it, panics a family. Now they're trying to get out there and give him his own boat. But you gotta spot him first. You gotta know he's there. We just hope the next time he jumps off the boat, they're gonna try to take the boat away so that he has to use his boat alternatively. If he does take to the, they call it a rib, which is what we're hoping to, then it'll be a designated place for him to be safe. Yep.

[00:55:34] People getting too close could be stressing Wally out and causing him to repeatedly board and disembark from boats. He's showing signs of injury on his flipper as well. Please keep a safe distance. The public is urged to use caution and not to get too close to Wally. There may be risks from a water safety perspective where large numbers of people are congregating on the water. It's basically the same as a fox or a rabbit under the law. So it's up to people to cop on and have consideration for this poor wild animal, which is a long way from home. Well, where's his home?

[00:56:04] Leave it alone and if you must see it, use binoculars. All right. If you assist on seeing Wally, don't get too close. So I sent this to my dad and he wrote back, why don't they just shoot it? Jackalope. Yeah. He doesn't usually answer like, I go, cause Wally's nice. He's just fat and tired. And my dad goes, he's probably got a gal in every harbor and that's why he's so tired.

[00:56:32] And I'm like, okay, dad, why don't they just shoot it? What does it matter with you? Too much time in the Ozarks, Jack. Oh yeah. Here's my hundred. Here's my hundred year old Nazi thing. I thought I lost this story. A hundred year old former guard at the Sackenhausen Nazi concentration camp near Berlin will face trial in the autumn, 76 years after World War II. So the district court of Nureupin admitted the charges of accessory to murder in 3,500 cases

[00:57:02] and the trial is slated to start in October. Maybe there'll be a podcast about this. I don't know. The defendant should be able to stay on trial for two and two and a half hours of court a day. So some hundred year old is good for two and a half hours every day. The accused who is not named in accordance with German media laws concerning suspect who was said to have worked as a guard between 1942 to 1945. Those were the super bad years where around 200,000 people were in prison and 20,000 murdered.

[00:57:30] While a number of suspects in Nazi crimes is dwindling prosecutors are still trying to bring many individuals to justice. A landmark conviction in 2011 cleared the way as prosecutors continue working. So there you go. Still happening, people. Still happening. Speaking of Europe. Well, you know, I keep seeing this and I think, is this a trick?

[00:57:59] Because I don't have the time or the money, but well, I mean, I have the money, I guess, because it's only a dollar. But I don't have the time and I don't have the skill set. But I keep seeing these stories about you can buy a house in a tiny Italian village for one dollar. Right. Right. And then I think, is it a scam or what's the actual deal? So if anybody's like, I don't know if I was rewind the clock younger and I was a construction

[00:58:28] person, which I wouldn't be because I can't do math, but you know, say I knew somebody, right? Italy's ongoing clearance sale of one dollar houses has been ideal for people to start seek a new life in some of the country's far flung corners. Because initially most of these places weren't villages that had just gone. You know, they're gone. Nobody's there anymore. So they were kind of far out. But this one, if you want to be a little closer to the action, nearer to Rome, to be

[00:58:56] precise, it's been slim pickings until now. This month, the town of Manza, Manza, they became the first in Rome's Latium region to begin selling homes for just over a dollar. The historical location high up on the wild hills south of the capital where shepherds and fiery tribes once lived is making available dozens of abandoned stone dwellings in the hope of attracting new occupants.

[00:59:24] I find it hard enough to get people to work on a house in the Midwest, in the United States. I don't know. This would be my thing. Like, let's say you walked in and if you could take, like, if you had an engineering architect or engineering buddy and say, okay, what would it take to make all this fly? And then they tell you, well, here's what you'd have to do. Great. But is anyone available to do it? I guess you could fly people over if you can't, or maybe if you just paid an asshole, people do it.

[00:59:51] The mayor is trying to launch the ambitious pact for rebirth of his hometown, aiming to breathe new life into its quiet alleys. The goal, he says, is to recover all the disused crumbling properties by liaising between old owners and potential buyers lured by knockdown prices. One step at a time. Interested buyers are also invited to contact that town hall to make specific property requests and local officials also don't speak Italian. Man, that's another problem.

[01:00:20] But yeah, there's that app on your phone. You can just say your shit in the phone and then it says it in the other language. There's over 100 neglected properties. Some are a potential danger to passerby people because of all their dilapidated condition. Here's the catch. Here's one catch. You must commit to renovating it within three years. That's not too bad. You got up and you have to deposit $5,800.

[01:00:49] That'll be returned once the work is complete. Mm-hmm. And you have to say what it's going to be. Is it going to be a B&B, a shop, a restaurant? That must also be filed. Taking up residency is not compulsory, but families with kids and young couples who wish to live in Mizzana on a semi-permanent basis are encouraged to apply too. Okay? You don't have to move there all the time. Nope. And several applicants. If several applicants want the same house priority to be given to those who want to settle

[01:01:19] down permanently and to those planning the fastest renovations, I think it could be really cool. Yeah. If, if, I don't speak Italian, but if Ireland had a town that did this and they'd let Americans do it, I would, I would do it. Me too. That'd be super fun. That'd be super fun. Fun retirement. Great pubs. What? Pubs. Great pubs. Yeah, the pubs. Okay. I'm going to, um, well, this is just a fast one speaking of Europe too.

[01:01:47] I, I don't know why no one ever did this. Um. Okay. A long piece of England's, a long lost piece of England's Stonehenge Monument is helping experts understand the mysterious prehistoric structure and net analysis of a core sample taken from one of the sites. Massive slabs suggest that the stone's geochemical composition may have made it uniquely well equipped to stand the test of time. It's made from 99.7 quartz crystals.

[01:02:16] The stones are practically indestructible. Now we've got a good idea while this stuff is still standing. Yeah. Yeah. The study was made possible thanks to a foreman diamond cutter, Robert Phillips, who died. He did repair work at Stonehenge in 1958 and then gave them the stuff to work with. So now they know it's, it's quartz. Huh. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, it is weird that it's all still standing exactly the way it was like 17 billion years ago. Okay. I've still never been there.

[01:02:45] I've been to England, but I never went there. Um, yeah. Sorry. Rocks. Yeah. I've seen enough. Rocks. Yeah. Um, okay. This is how we're going to, um, well, no, I have a nice little love story to end on. Oh, nice. Yeah. Take it all mushy. Sometimes. Little gummy. Sometimes. First, we're going to go through the richest people in the world. Great. First, I'm going to do the top just because I'm fascinated. I don't even want to be this rich. It's not that I'm fascinated with money.

[01:03:15] I'm fascinated with how they did it. Yes. And who they are. Here's the top. This could be men or women. Okay. Number one. And this is from August 26, 2021. Okay. Number one, Jeff Bezos. Man. Number two, Bernard Amel and his family. They have 1.87 billion. Bezos has 201 billion. He's Louis Vuitton and Sephora. Oh, he owns Sephora.

[01:03:45] Nice. I do like Sephora, but they have too many employees. No matter what corner I go around. Hi, can I help you? No, I'm good. Why's your face so red? Oh my God. Do you need some lightener? No, this is always a color on my face. Please stop asking me questions and judging me. Thank you. Three, Elon Musk, 167 billion. Four. Bill Gates is sliding. 128 billion. I got it. The whole divorce thing.

[01:04:13] That divorce thing just chopped him right down the list. Zuckerberg, 127 billion. Larry Page. He's a Google person for you youngsters. 108 billion. Larry Ellison. Oracle. 106 billion. Wow. You catching on? All this stuff is stuff I would never understand. It's why I'll never be on here. Number eight, Sergey Brin, along with Larry Page.

[01:04:42] Co-founder of Google. 105 billion. Wow. Number nine, Paul Paul Buffett. Warren Buffett. 101 billion. Well done. Well done. He still lives in Omaha in the same house that he's been in for like 50 years, which I find weird that security isn't an issue. Yeah. Because he's so rich and he'd be super easy to kidnap. Yeah. He's like a hundo. He's slow. He's a super slow. Slow turtle. He's a slow, slow senior turtle. He's a super turtle. I think he's over 90.

[01:05:14] And he goes to the same McDonald's every day and gets the same sandwich. Like he's a man of patterns, you know? I love an egg McMuffin. Well, I think that's what he gets, the egg McMuffin. And look, he made it to this age eating. They always say breakfast sandwiches are terrible for you. Well, you don't think so. Number 10, Francois Betancourt Myers and Family. 86 billion. Now, who is she? She's who we're going to talk about.

[01:05:39] She's the granddaughter of loyal founder Eugene Schuller. Nice. Mm-hmm. And just so you want to know, with a fortune of 400 billion, the richest person of all time was a guy named Mansu Musa, one of Mali, the first king of Timbuktu. Which sounds fake. I know. Because when we were kids, my dad was like, one more word and I will box you up and send you to Timbuktu with no return address.

[01:06:08] And I'm like, that's your threat? That's so hard. Now I have to go look up. Or he would drive by this spooky reform school and say he'd drop us off there too. What? I know. He was the richest person that ever lived. Mansu Musa of Mali, king of Timbuktu. I bet my dad didn't know that. He probably thought it was a shithole when he was starting to send us there and they had all kinds of money. It was probably really nice. They're flying. Oh, they had salt and gold deposits. And then Zara Nicholas.

[01:06:38] And then we don't need to go down there. That's the guy, the richest man that ever lived, so they say. Mansu Musa. King of the world. Here's the women though. This fascinates me too. Because the women, not quite as techie. I'm not saying we're not capable. She's not looking like a tech genius. Yeah. Dolly could do it. Cher could do it. Can you imagine?

[01:07:03] I don't think there's any woman in this lineup that's a tech head. No. But the women, their money just isn't, it's crazy. First lady? I guess. Why doesn't, no, she. Well, anyway. My Francois Bettencourt Myers beat, this is just the women's list, but she, I guess because

[01:07:32] they put her in the top ten of all time, she's richer than the richest woman on this list. Diane Hendricks. We talked about her before this podcast. Never heard of the lady. She's worth 11 billion. Source? Roofing. State, Wisconsin. Well done. Yeah. So, anyway, Kathleen, I opened this roofer deal up in Wisconsin, and it really took off. It's goddamn unbelievable. Number two, Judy Faulkner. 6.5 billion. Health, she's in health. Wisconsin. She's in health.

[01:08:02] Health. Come on. Tech. Wisconsin. Meg Whitman. I've actually seen her in person once. At a restaurant. I didn't speak to her. 6.3 billion. Wow. eBay. I hear she's not nice, though. I don't know. She's a serious person. True. And then she went somewhere else and failed. I forget where. Meg Whitman got. Because remember, she tried to run for president or something. Yeah. She started eBay. It was after eBay.

[01:08:30] She got hired by somebody and ended up having to leave. 4. Judy Love. Retail and gas station. Oh! Loves! Oh! Yay! Yay! See that 5.2 billion she's worth? At least $111 are from this lady. Totally. And whoever gave me my Buc-ee's mug. This one. That's not loves, but you know, it's my favorite gas stations. I was at two loves this week.

[01:09:00] Marion Illich. Little Caesars. Michigan. They do a lot of good things for Detroit. Yes. I didn't know that they're from Michigan. Yes. Janelle Hunt. Trucking. Arkansas. Hunt Brothers Trucking? That's ketchup. Hunt's ketchup is in Kansas City. Lamar Hunt. The Kansas City Chiefs. Number 6. Ty Lee. JB Hunt.

[01:09:31] JB Hunt. Oh, yeah. I've seen those. Yeah. Ty Lee. 4 billion. IT provider. Texas. Never heard of her. Linda Resnick. 4 billion. Agriculture. California. Gail Miller. Car dealerships. Utah. Really? Wow. Doris Fisher. 2.9 billion. The Gap. The Gap's disappointing lately. Yes. All their clothes got so flimsy.

[01:10:00] Like, I used to be fine going in and get a bunch. Gap t-shirts for the whole summer. Good to go. And now they last like a day. One shoulder's up here. Alice Schwartz. Biotech. 2.9. Oprah. Opa. Opa. Oh, she's 12th. 2.7 billion. It just says TV shows. Elaine Wynn of where? Wynn Casinos. 2.2 billion. Yeah, that's a nice hotel. Peggy Chung.

[01:10:30] Yeah. C-H-E-R-N-G. 2 billion. Fast food. I don't know what she owns. Sheryl Sandberg. 1.9. Facebook. Blech. Blech. Blech. 16. Rihanna. How about that? 1.7 billion. Cosmetics. Wow. And music. Yeah. Look at Rihanna. Good girl. Wow. How about this person? Jayshree Yual. 1.7 billion. Computer networking. No idea.

[01:11:00] Safra Cats. 1.6 billion. Software. Nope. Jenny Just. That doesn't even, that sounds like a porn name. Jenny Just. 1.5 billion. Fine Tech. Illinois. Aaron Osmond. 1.4. Aerospace. Oh wow. Not Osmond like the Osmonds. O-Z-M-E-N. Peggy Churn. No way. Yeah. That's Peggy Churn. Churnang?

[01:11:30] Churnang. Yep. Panda Express. Yep. I love it. Great. It's so fadding. So good. It's so good. It's never bad. Panda Express is never bad. Nope. Especially if you're from a Midwest place and you don't know what real Chinese is supposed to taste like. General. You're like. This shit. We were fed as authentic in the Midwest. Like when I really finally had real Mexican food I was like blech. This is terrible. This is terrible.

[01:11:59] What do you mean these are beans? What? There's supposed to be cheese on top. I'm not supposed to see those beans. Oh my God. This person's name is Wee Die. Wee Die. Wee Die. 1.3 billion. Semiconductors. Robin Jones. 1.3 billion. Insurance. Whitney Wolford. Oh wow. 1.3 billion on a dating app? Whitney made a dating app?

[01:12:28] Number 24. There's only 25. Kim Kardashian West. 1.2 billion. Cosmetics reality TV. Whitney invented Bumble. Whitney invented Bumble. You guys ever heard of the Bumble? That's great. You guys ever heard of the Bumble Fumble? So my friend Ryan White, the comedian, for a while put himself on Bumble as himself. I'm like dude. You can't do that. Because you can't lie but you can't. You don't just put comedian. Like they're going to.

[01:12:57] You don't know if somebody's going to come over just because they want to meet you. Anyway, some lady clearly. He took out on a date and she went to the bathroom and didn't come back. Yeah. But he wasn't sure if she was still in the bathroom or not. And these two black women came up to him. They go, why are you looking so sad? And he's like, well ladies I believe I've just been off down on a Bumble date. And they lost it laughing so hard. They go, oh you did the Bumble Fumble.

[01:13:26] Oh, that's so sad. And then they sat down and had drinks with him. And Ryan goes, well I didn't have a date but I met two really fun ladies that live around the corner. That's who did it, huh? Well, see I could think of something like that. I just wouldn't know how to do it. Whitney Wolford. The last lady on the list is Ann Wozicki. I'm not, Wozicki. I don't know. It's a Polish spelling. I don't know.

[01:13:54] The 1.1 billion. She's barely on the list. DNA testing. So that's, I'm just fascinated. But this is the richest woman. This is the richest woman in the world. Francois Betancourt. She has 87 billion. I mean she, now it's over 100 they say. But I find her kind of fascinating. Here's just a few little things about her. She's 67.

[01:14:24] Her net worth rose from 1 billion to 83 billion. She's the richest woman in the world. Her and her family own about 33% of the stock of the cosmetics L'Oreal. She's a grander. Okay, this one isn't. This one. Let's move on. Here's 10 facts you wouldn't know about the richest woman in the world. This is crazy. She's not a bumble. Well, first of all, there's a picture of her. And she's pretty.

[01:14:52] But for some reason, she's sporting these Harry Carey eyeglasses. It's also Jackie. Oh, we had those way back in the day. They're just humongous. She's worth more than 86 billion. That was as of July 2021. But they said that was really probably even more. After the death of her mother, Lillian Bettencourt, she managed to grow the wealth now in precedent and numbers. She's the only granddaughter. She lives in Paris.

[01:15:21] She's a keen piano player. She plays the piano three to four hours a day. You know what? When you have $87 billion, yeah, I got four hours to fuck off. Every day. Every day. Do it. Despite her Catholic upraising, Francois married a Jewish man and agreed to raise their kids Jewish. She's been known for writing religious commentary, comparing Catholic and Jewish scriptures. How boring. Yeah. She's got time. She manages their philanthropic foundation,

[01:15:51] supports French science and the arts. She only inherited $39 billion in 2017. But she's gotten it up to $87 billion in what? 11 years? Nine years? Eight years. There's my math. That's bad. Yeah. I just think that's crazy. And she's only 67. Oh, this is the thing that I thought was the coolest. I went to... I've been to Paris. I was an exchange student for a month and a half

[01:16:19] and I had to live with a French family outside of Paris. For six weeks. Well, two of the weeks we got to be in Paris with our classmates. And then... And then... It's a very long story, but I ended up on a pig farm outside. What? Yeah. I'll tell the story later. It's too long. Oh, come on. But... Go on. I paid for it too. It was $1,500. I had bus tables and I was 15 years old and I had bus tables and saved up all my money for a car. And then I saw the sign you could do that. French class.

[01:16:50] And then my dad said, well, you can do it, but you got to spend your money. So then I was like, well, I can always make more money for a car. And so I went ahead. And then you had to fill out forms saying what you liked. And I put what I really liked. But the choices were fucking ridiculous. Like, would you rather go to the opera or would you rather go horseback riding? Or would you pet horses? I put pet horses. I don't want to go to the opera. Well, then my super gay friend,

[01:17:19] he goes, Kathleen, everything you're filling out leads to poverty. You're just going to be with a poor family. And I go, well, I don't care if they're poor. This is what I'd rather pet horses than go to the fucking opera. I don't know anything about it. I'll fall asleep. That'll be rude. I don't want to do it. So I filled out my thing. Honestly, you know, do you drink? Yes. Do you smoke? If you got them, whatever. I love French cigarettes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And sure enough,

[01:17:48] I ended up on a pig farm, which was fine. But like my friend who filled it out, because he's smarter than me, he, one of the weeks we lived with our family, he got to go snow skiing in Switzerland at Zermatt. And I was like, well, I've been told I have to feed the pigs all week. I've learned how. And then I have other farm chores. And then we're going to have a giant cheese platter about three 30. That's the best of my day. It's going to, then me and Marie Paul,

[01:18:17] my exchange student are going to smoke cigarettes and listen to Simon and Garfunkel. Yeah. But anyway, I think Paris, I will always argue that Paris is the most beautiful city in the world. And I haven't been to all of them. I did like, I have been to Rome and I liked that a lot, but, uh, I always tell Lewis when I'm in New York, this city could be a lot prettier if we'd get some sunlight. There's too much, too, the buildings are too high. Like Paris, they're not high. So it,

[01:18:46] there's parks and it's beautiful. So it made me really sad when I saw Notre Dame burning to the ground because it's like one of the greatest things you could ever go inside. Even if you're not Catholic, who cares? It's just beautiful. Francois Bettencourt Myers pledged and she's done it. $226 million to repair it. That's what you go. This is why we need rich people.

[01:19:13] I will not tax your ass if you promise to do shit like this. Good for the better of all. Yes. Yeah. So, I like that. We're going to end with a love story. Wow. I can't wait. Yeah. You think I don't have a sensitive side panels? No, I don't. I don't. I don't think you do. Except for puppies. Oh no. Taco Bell.

[01:19:44] This is just, isn't this sweet? A skeleton couple. Okay, stop. What? It's already, it's, yeah, it's two skeletons. From 1500 years ago, discovered in quote, eternal love embraced together. True love has seemingly been found. True love. Yeah. In the form of an embrace 15 centuries ago,

[01:20:10] archaeologists in Northern China discovered two ancient skeletons holding each other with their arms wrapped around each other's waist, and the woman pressed up to the man's shoulders. And the woman pressed up to the man's shoulders, according to the South China morning post. The remains likely belong to a man and woman from the Northern Wee period 1500 years ago when Buddhism was heightening. The message was clear. Husband and wife lay together embracing each other for eternal love during the afterlife. Uh-huh. Burials of love and burials with love must be abundant. However,

[01:20:40] evidence of direct materialization of love burials has been rare and rarer in skeleton form. According to the journal, the remains were found by researchers who were excavating more than 600 tombs in a cemetery on cover during the construction in the city of De Tong in the Shani province. You just made it Chinese. What? No, that's the city name, De Tong. De Tong? I can't say it with their proper pronunciation. I don't speak Mandarin. I don't speak Mandarin. Christ.

[01:21:12] The discovery is a unique display of the human emotion of love and burial, often a rare glimpse into the concepts of love, life, death, and the afterlife in Northern China. The bond rules of love didn't necessarily qualify as a bond of marriage in ancient times. It was unclear who died first, although the man's skeleton had signs of an unhealed injury, meaning there's a likelihood that the woman might have died in a sacrificial form to rest alongside the man. The two could have also died together.

[01:21:38] Well, let's just hope they died together and she didn't have to kill herself in a grave. Holy Christ almighty. See? I just took it from a love story to dark suicidal tendencies. Okay, termites. Yeah. That would be no... That was a nice story, Pats. You just don't like the way I... I didn't write the ending. They did. I didn't. You made it dark. I didn't make it dark. She did.

[01:22:06] By not proving that she died with him. Okay. Yep. All right, termites. That's all I got for you. There's t-shirts available. Do you have any ranch on the website? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how there's going. I haven't talked to the techie guys who run the store, but they're very nice, these people. It's a company called Music Today, and they handle merch like that because... Why? Mama Termite's too lazy. Mama Termite doesn't know the... I couldn't keep it organized. No.

[01:22:36] No. And they're very, very good. So there's t-shirts, and then the road is heating up again. All kinds of cities on my website. Boston's this weekend. Boston. Boston. I love Boston. Foxwoods. Foxwoods. Casino. Boston, I'm super excited because I get to go to the Isabella Gardner Museum, the one that they did. They stole the paintings from that Netflix did the special on. Yeah.

[01:23:05] And then some little clam chata. I know that's hacky, but if you live in the Midwest, you don't get those... You don't get that many selections like you can in Boston, and I go a little crazy. It's great. It's going to be a two-pound weight gain. Yeah. I'm going to have to walk all around Boston to get it out. And football starts. Get your fantasy teams in. I'm already playing my neighbor in week one. It already says I'm going to beat them by 20 points because I optimized. I optimized my lineup.

[01:23:35] I got everybody. But most importantly, I have Tom. I got Tom Brady. Everybody laughed at me last year. Go ahead, laugh. I don't care if he's 1,000. Tom, he can still throw. Put him out there in a wheelchair, goddammit. I don't care. He can throw. Oh, God. I'm sorry, but hate him or not, he makes you money. Okay, Tomites, that's all I got. Ready?

[01:24:05] Oh, I wanted to say I don't use the wacky, I think I said Newsmax or something. What I meant was Newsbreak. Yeah. I don't go to that Nazi or whatever. I don't. I just know it's something I don't know. Okay, that's it, termites. That's all I have for you. Go watch The Defeated if you like more stuff. And we'll see you soon.