Episode 55: Taco Bell Breakfast, Betty White’s Advice, & A Nirvana Baby Tantrum

[00:00:09] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan, welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:18] The pub is open! Episode 55, how exciting is that? That's my age. Oh my gosh, so many things, termites, so many things. What are we drinking? Well, I'm drinking a beer, just a regular Bud Light in my White Castle, fancy pint glass.

[00:00:45] What's my favorite light beer? Uh, Mick Ultra. That's not really light though, if I had to go light, I'd go Bud Light, then I'd go Miller Light. I can't do Coors Light. My one brother-in-law really loves it. And, uh, I don't know. I think you have to be raised on it. It has a weird taste to me. I mean, if I was, you know, in a desert and somebody offered me a six pack, I'm taking it, but, and I would be very appreciative and I would probably really have a different view on that.

[00:01:13] But that's just what we're drinking, a boring beer. But, cause I have this. It's called Day Drinking Watermelon Rosé Wine Spritzer in a Can, made by who? Little Big Town, the band. Nice! Yeah, I like them. I like the way their voices, um, blend together. And they can all sing really good on their own too. They're kind of like a country Fleetwood Mac, if you will. Oh! Yeah! Yeah. So let's see, like, I don't know that I'm gonna love this, but I do love the can.

[00:01:42] Kind of the Lily Pulitzer coloring. I like the can. Um, yeah, we'll let it chill. It's nice. Fine. I don't, they have other flavors. I'm gonna have to look for other flavors. It says Day Drinking from sunup to sundown. They have a song called Day Drinking, which is on my pre-show music. Have you ever come to a show and you're sitting there thinking, I wonder who chose this music?

[00:02:10] I did, and Paddles did. Boom! That's who did. That's why there's quite a differentiation in a lot of the songs. What are we doing? What have I got from you termites? This is so fun. Somebody, this is so cool. This is Termite Andy, or Adam. Greenville, South Carolina. It's my favorite flag out of any state in the whole. It's so simple. It's just a palm tree and a quarter moon.

[00:02:39] And the license plate, it's on, and it's one of my favorite places to go. Charleston, or in Kiowa. I love it. I love, love, love. And so I have, look, I have a little rocks glass now for my JMO. Nice! How fancy is that? So thank you, Adam. It's a wonderful termite present. I actually really like that, and I'm gonna have to order like three more. So that I have a, don't buy more, but I'll buy them. And then look at this termite sent. This is like the Henry VIII crown royal bag.

[00:03:07] I'm gonna have to send this to Caratop. Yeah, it's really fancy, and it's humongous. But I don't know, maybe I'll put something, and then inside of it, there's a tiny little angel. Oh, because you know why? Especially if my brother's listening. I'm an angel. I like it. It says crown royal. Yeah. Special edition. And then a couple little coin things.

[00:03:37] So that was from, I don't say people's last names. Some people don't care, though. That was from Debbie. So thank you, Debbie H. I like that. And then these people made me laugh, because they said, you can see, we're fine if you use my name. No one can find us. We live in the middle of nowhere, twice removed. Wendy. And so I'll have to tell Wendy that I got this.

[00:04:02] But they sent me a golf ball, again, random, well, a hat from this country club. Now I'm gonna have to Google where this is, Discovery Bay. Right. And then I looked at the thing. I have a scorecard, too. It looks pretty. Discovery Bay, California. I don't know where that is. But I also got two golf balls that are from there. And these ain't cheap in the pro shop, people. These are three bucks a piece. I know that.

[00:04:32] So thank you. I'm gonna go look up where that is. I didn't have time to do that before I started this little show today. There's a yacht club, too. It's by Stockton. By Stockton. So it's inland. I don't know why they have a yacht club. Maybe there's a lake. It's a bay. Discovery Bay. Come on, paddles. Use your mind. That's right. I said it. So that's just some termite stuff that's come in that was fun and silly. And what are we gonna eat today?

[00:05:02] What are we doing for the work of the Lord? You know what? I saw the Cheetos ice cream in real life. I couldn't pull the trigger. I know. It looks awful. Well, and then they did Flamin' Hot. How about just, let's ease into this. Regular Cheeto ice cream. Yeah, right? I'd have tried that. The Flamin' Hot? No. But in doing it, somebody actually requested this on Twitter after I'd already bought it. No, I... Yeah. He's like, since you're doing the work of the Lord, could you taste the Lay's Funyuns? And I said, funny enough, coming up this week. Yeah.

[00:05:32] I will taste the Lay's. But see, this... The reason I love Lay's is because they're not rippled. And... Come on. I'm serious. Serious. I'm very serious. Um... That doesn't taste like a Funyun to me. No? No. No. I'd say pass. Pass! Well, sorry. Not everything can be a winner. Not in this household.

[00:06:02] Not everything can be a winner. And I love Lay's, but I like them because they're flat. Okay, what else am I going to try? Kettle brand crinkle crut. Habanero lime! Kettle want... These chips you really need... I know it's loud. Simmer down over there, pals. Christ's sake. They're good.

[00:06:31] I vote yes on the kettle brand crinkle. Well, I like the crinkle cut on these kind of chips. Because they're harder chips than they're thicker. It's really hot though. Holy shit. Okay. Have some watermelon rosé. Well, that'll make you not eat a whole bag. I guarantee you that. That's for sure. Wow. Yeah, I'm going to let that show. And then... A termite brought this... To a show. And now I don't remember which show. I'm thinking Atlantic City. It's Hannaford Ranch.

[00:07:01] Maybe Vegas. I've never seen it. It's from Maine. Scarborough, Maine. Yes. Yeah, it was Vegas. Was it Vegas? Okay, so thank you, termite, whoever. I don't know if you can... Let's see if I even like it. It says... Fabulous on everything from sandwiches and dips. On everything. Sandwiches. Fabulous on everything. Sandwiches and dips. All right. It looks like classic ranch.

[00:07:32] Ranch. It's ranch. I agree with their listing. It's classic ranch. It just tastes like butter and milk and all kinds of bad things. In a great way. It's ranch. That's good. I like it. More as a dip. A little thick as a salad dressing. I mean, you really have to whip it around. Like you see in the TV shows.

[00:08:02] Have you ever seen... Termites. Have you ever seen Trisha Yearwood's cooking show? I don't even like to cook. I want nothing to do with cooking. But there's something about her show. Because Trisha, she's not super skinny, which I like on a cooking show. I don't... Yeah, average. Which... Pretty... I think she sings better than Garth, but I'm sure that's never being able to be said out loud in that household. Oh my God.

[00:08:30] But I like watching it because I think, really? People are just okay with that? I've never thought about putting chicken pot pie on my cheeseburger. But it looks fucking great. Delicious. Yeah, but I'm like... It's like Trisha picked up where Paula Deen left off. I'm going to take something fattening, and I'm going to make it more fattening and southern. And then I'm going to fry it. And then if you've never heard, my friend Vic Henley, who passed away, the comedian, you should go online. Maybe we'll put it in the show notes.

[00:09:00] His joke about Paula Deen was one of the funniest. And I was proud to say that I added the line, And ring the paper towel. Squeeze your paper towel. Squeeze your paper towel. But it's all about Paula Deen. And how she took the money from the diabetes pill company and then just went, Fuck you. I'm still eating butter. All the butter. That joke was so good. And then he would go, I don't know. I can't do that. That's getting too old. No one hates it.

[00:09:29] She just opened more restaurants. Paula has not gone away. There's new ones everywhere. Paula's on the rampage. Maybe not everywhere, but in the south. Nobody canceled Paula. No. People talk about cancel culture. It didn't happen to Paula. Okay. What do we got going on today? Well, shout out to the Tulsa drillers who gave me that Noodlers. I love a bucket hat for the lake. And they sent one for Ron for golf. One for me.

[00:09:59] One for me. One for Ron. And one for paddles. They were thoughtful. And, but I had it on, but then I couldn't put my headphones on. But anyway, that's why my hair doesn't look very nice. Also, because I didn't do anything except put it in a ponytail and I've been sweating all morning. Tanya's probably a noodler. Because I've been cutting trees. I'd say Tanya'd be up for noodling. She'd at least go with you. Yeah. The rest of these ladies, I don't really see it. No. No. That's why I still have an affinity towards Tanya.

[00:10:28] She'll get down and dirty. Oh, Billy. No problem. I don't know that she'd do it. Yeah, Dolly would probably go. Yeah. She'd at least go along. If you had a nice pontoon, I think. Do we have any news about the Queens? Yes, we do. It's all Stevie this week. So Stevie was on a podcast. They were asking her about, does she want to write her memoir?

[00:10:58] It was Tim McGraw. He has a podcast. Tim McGraw always looks like he has that weightlifter oil on. What is going on? It's like Faith Hill's so good looking that you feel the need to oil up. With a tanning element in it, too. Unless he's just that tan. Are you out all the time? He's cute enough. I don't know what. He's adorable. But I guess if you're with Faith Hill every day, I just feel like an ugly sack of shit. So you got to do something. Maybe.

[00:11:26] Maybe I'll just put oil all over me. That'll help. Not when you're this white. It won't. All it does is make it reflect in things. Anyway, Tim McGraw. He has a... This is why if you want to talk to Stevie now is the time. Because Stevie loves to work and talk. And now she's got nothing to do since she canceled her deal. So boom! Tim McGraw's people got in on it. Why don't I have her on your podcast? It's... No, I don't have these people on my podcast. There's no queens on this podcast. No.

[00:11:56] No. No, and I don't have the power. I wouldn't want to talk to any of them, really. Cher, probably. Well, Cher and Dolly. Stevie, she's weird. I love her, but I don't... I want to keep it that way. Tanya's fine. Yeah. Shaka, she's weird, but in a good way. Yeah. But I wouldn't know what to say. I wouldn't know what to say to Tanya. She's still on hip reserve, too. She's on... She's on... She's on injured reserve.

[00:12:26] Her hip... Down a hip! But... So she was on Tim McGraw's Beyond the Influence Radio, whatever. She was talking about a potential biopic or book. She said, if I could get it into a book, it would be like Twilight. It would be like four books. And then, if I thought that was great, then I might say, well, maybe we could do a four-part thing. I used to say, absolutely no. Not writing a book. Not making a movie. Don't ask me.

[00:12:54] And don't ask me to make a musical. I hate them. Hate them. Hate them. I do, too! This is what I could talk to Stevie about. She said, except for Wicked. Wicked is my favorite. Everybody gets one exception. Mine is The Sound of Music. Why? Because it's historically accurate. And it involves war and Nazis and terrifying things. And it was all true. Doesn't matter. All historically accurate. Is it? I don't know.

[00:13:25] Paddles, you can't make shit up like that about classics. You don't know that. Neither do I. Don't know a goddamn thing. I think I don't know anything about it. Wicked would be. But I agree with Stevie. And if you say you hate musicals, people get so psycho. You know? Oh, my God. What about this? What about this? Here's the other thing. By the time stuff got to St. Louis, like, the star went from whoever it was in New York, too. Hey, it's Amazing Jonathan in the Dreamcoat, starring Donny Osmond. Live at the Muni.

[00:13:54] Who's calling me? It's my brother. No, Patrick. No. I called him earlier. That's my fault. Yeah, we never got the first run in St. Louis. I mean, it was fine. But, you know, we didn't get. But sometimes you got off the beaten path. I'm going to start. Stevie said, I don't have a problem sharing what's happened to me in my life because everything that's happened to me, I think, has been pretty marvelous. Somebody spelled marvelous wrong. I would be careful with some things because I don't want people to make the same mistakes that I made.

[00:14:23] And lots of them weren't my fault. So I would tell them in a way where people got the message, but it wasn't gothic and super sad. You know what I mean? No. I don't know what you mean. But I have more on this. Great. Yeah. Stevie Nicks on overcoming drug addiction. I saved me. Nobody else saved me. That's my Stevie voice. She said, what I wouldn't put in it, I would go very gracefully over the drugs because I don't

[00:14:53] feel they define my life. She continued, I managed to save myself on beating her cocaine addiction in her early 40s doing a stint at the Betty Ford Center. I got through some pretty scary moments, but I saved me. Nobody else saved me. I survived. I survived cocaine. I survived it myself. Well, you got to give credit there. That's a hard one to kick. Nicks made it clear she was a driving force for getting herself treatment. I checked myself into rehab. Nobody did that for me. I did it. And that's like with my whole life.

[00:15:22] So I would just dance over those parts just to give wisdom out to people. But mostly I would just tell all these really fun, funny stories because I would love to share those things. She also said about Fleetwood Mac, all of us were drug addicts, but there was a point where I was the worst addict. That's got to suck. Like I don't, I don't, I know a lot of drinkers, drunks, just call it what they are, but you always hope that's why you do an Irish goodbye and you're never the worst because they don't

[00:15:52] even remember when you left. That's what I told Lewis about Afghanistan. This is the worst Irish goodbye ever. Hashtag didn't work. Stevie sounds kind of like your alien. I know Stevie's, I know I have to slow down if I'm going to do Stevie because when she talks, it can very easily slip into my alien. Yes. Yes, I know. She said all of us are drug addicts.

[00:16:21] There was a point where I was the worst drug addict. I was a girl, I was fragile and I was doing a lot of coke and I had a hole in my nose. Okay, great. Referring to a self-medication misstep when she treated migraines with a solution of aspirin and water that she squirted up her nose. It was all real dangerous. What were you thinking? That really didn't help our irritability levels, she said of the drug accesses. If you're not happy with someone, then just go do some coke and see how much more unhappy you can be with them. Wow.

[00:16:52] Wow. This is why my friend Kevin said bouncing for them when he was in vet school. He's like, they were the worst, baby. I know she's your idol, but he hated it. They were always fighting and sleeping with each other and I've already talked about that. Anyway, but you think this crap is helping you, so you do it because you think you're getting better and you think you're like, you know, immortal, like you're going to live forever when you're doing coke in the beginning. You're going to have a lot of problems with your nose if you don't stop doing this, the doctor told her. So she did that.

[00:17:20] And then, so now she only smokes a little bit of pot and she said it's all under control. Don't worry about anything. Stevie's got it. So good for you. As a comedian, Rocky LaPorte would say, good for you, Stevie. Good for you for not ruining your whole nose because you can't fix that stuff. I actually know somebody whose nose fell apart due to coke. That middle part and then it just looks like they were punched square in the face. Yeah. It's somebody that I used to work with at a restaurant.

[00:17:48] And then the problem is you've spent all your money on coke and now you don't have enough money to fix your nose. And even if you want to fix your nose, sometimes it's impossible. Wow. Yep. That's it in the Queen News. That's all I got. Update! Update! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Liberty University being sued by 12 women claiming school policies made sexual assault and rape more likely.

[00:18:16] So maybe if these women win this lawsuit, then Liberty can win their one over Jerry Falwell and everyone will be even. Well, thank you. Except Jerry. Listen to this shit, though. Liberty University had been sued by 12 women who claimed the school created an environment on its Virginia campus that increased the likelihood of sexual assault and rape. Lawsuit includes claims of sexual assault and accuses the Lynchburg School of creating a hostile environment toward the plaintiffs.

[00:18:42] Well, I would think if I'm going to Bible land here and I'm a chick. Yeah. Mm. The university also promoted attacks on and discrimination against women through a series of policies that discouraged sex before marriage and punished those who reported misconduct. Oh, man. The plaintiffs who were not lame, they include women who were students or employees and one non-student who was a minor at the time.

[00:19:11] They're referred to as Jane Doe, one through 12, 12 of them. First, the lawsuit alleges that the quote, this is how the school created the environment in three ways. They have the Liberty Way, which is the school's honor code. It makes it difficult to report sexual violence because it doesn't clearly shield students making the reports from punishments for infractions. So you can't tell anybody. Right. So you want to be, if you're really mean, you want to be the one committing it. Right.

[00:19:41] Because you know that the victim can't report it or they're going to get in trouble, including being at a place where alcohol is served or being alone with a member of the opposite sex. That's included in the Liberty Way. Second, there's a tactic that condones sexual violence, particularly by male student athletes by weighing a denial more heavily than an allegation, the lawsuit claims. That's what the lawsuit says. Third, the plaintiffs in the lawsuit said that the school engages in public and repeats heated retaliation against the women who've reported sexual violence. They've created a ba-ba-ba.

[00:20:11] University says, you know, that's not really our policies, but it's actually in the manual. So I don't know how you're going to, I guess you're going to have to get a lot of white out, which is not cheap. Students who were, they tried to report stuff and then they just treat them like shit. Or, um, one student had photos of bruising. She suffered stuff during her attack in her report, which she later discovered had been removed from her title nine investigative file for being too explicit. Oh my God. Yeah. They even took the pictures out. Wow.

[00:20:41] Um, a second plaintiff who was a student in 2014 said she was raped by her boyfriend. Also a student she met through two of her roommates. The roommates reported that the plaintiff reported the plaintiff to the student conduct office. Oh wow. So the guy roommates, no. Great. Um, although the plaintiff attempted to make it clear she was a victim of rape, Liberty's university student conduct office gave her no opportunity to do so instead, and instead

[00:21:09] forced her to sit with her rapist and apologize to her roommate, to her roommates for her violation of the Liberty way. Oh my God. I don't, it goes on and on. I don't know how you, if you have a girl, how can you send? Well, I don't know. I'm Catholic. I'm not a Bible person. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Yeah. I have to go to a wedding this weekend, so I'll get my bit of the Bible at the wedding.

[00:21:38] Catholic wedding. Should be about eight and a half hours. It'll be great. Hopefully the church has air conditioning. I haven't even asked. I should have asked. Anyway, update! Excuse me while I did a cracker. That Hannaford ranch is really good. I'm wearing it right now. Update! Okay. My dad, for the record, is not on Team Free Britney. What? Nope. Come on, Jack.

[00:22:08] Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer judge man Jack says the problem is to get a conservatorship, at least in the state of Missouri. I don't know about California, and things in California sometimes are very, very different. But, for the most part, to get a conservatorship over someone, you really do have to provide to a judge. Not just one judge. There's like panels of people, and it's not an easy thing to do.

[00:22:32] Then, I think Lewis told me, or Patrick told me, Allen Iverson had one, the basketball player. Yeah. Yeah. Because he was going crazy and spending all of his money and shit and like out of control. Anyway, the problem is those things are sealed. So, we don't know what Britney is or isn't really doing. Now, I'm still on team. The biggest reason I'm on team Britney is I actually have friends in my phone crazier than Britney. And they're running loose.

[00:23:01] They are running loose. In Colorado, you know who you are. I mean, I've got Texas. I think we know what's Georgia. Yep. One from Utah. And they're still my friends. But I think they'd be better if somebody had some sort of control.

[00:23:31] Britney Spears' dog was close to death in her care. As fathers say, as father says, her problems are far worse than known. Now, I'm still freeing Britney, but we don't know what has been submitted. And then the judges that all approve this, they're not fucking around. Like, you know, you can't just come and say, I think my sister's grinding. And then she won't get off Instagram. Right. Britney ain't. There's more topless photos.

[00:24:01] I don't know. Stop. You do that after you're free. Not post-free freedom. Freedom. There's maybe a new twist in the free Britney narrative stemming from reports that one of her dogs, I saw a picture of one of them on Instagram. I don't know what they are. They're small. But I don't. It's not a Yorkie. I don't know what it is. Maybe somebody, maybe a termite knows. I don't even care. I don't even. I can't. The only, like I say, I know one song this lady sings.

[00:24:30] I don't even know why I'm interested, but now I'm in. So I got to go to the end. One of her dogs fell gravely ill due to neglect. Then she had a violent, that she had a violent confrontation with her housekeeper and her father's new claims in court documents that her addiction and mental health problems were far worse than the public realized. Spears' dog will return to her Friday after being taken away from her two weeks earlier. But then I wonder if you keep doing these kinds of things to a person, they might fucking go crazy. They're Maltese. Malteses?

[00:25:00] Is that what they are? Yeah, a housekeeper. Spears reportedly believes her father, as his conservator, had a hand in the dogs being removed from her home. TMZ and Page Six have said, TMZ, by the way, if you want to see the funniest picture ever. I don't usually know people on TMZ. But one night in Savannah, people were banging on Ron's bus really hard. It was just parked on a street and like going crazy. And he was sleeping and he got mad.

[00:25:30] And he got up and in his boxer shorts with his hair, which he has great hair, but when it's unruly, I mean, he looks like Nick Nolte. He came out of the bus with a nine iron and there's a picture you can Google on TMZ, Ron White. I will put it in the show notes. And the picture comes up. It is the funniest. I've never seen him move that fast at night or in the morning or anytime when he's sleeping. He must have. He said, he goes, I'd had it. I told him to go away. I'd already taken pictures of people.

[00:25:59] Well, anyway, that's my thought on TMZ. Britney is demanding answers. She's been through this before. Her conservators used to threaten to take her children away. It's all too familiar and heartbreaking. It's a heartbreaking feeling for her. Jamie Spears is hit back at his daughter's allegations that her conservatorship has been abusive or akin to sex trafficking. Whoa. Wow. In new court documents reported by the son, Jamie Spears said that highly confidential information about his daughter's mental state shows that she is far worse than the public realizes.

[00:26:29] All I'm saying is that is possible. And I do agree with Jackalope Madigan on that. But I still, I say let her run rampant for a year or two. I mean, let her go. Let her give it a try. You know? Yeah. Jamie Spears refers to his daughter's darkest moments in a 15 page response to her petition to have him suspended. 69 year old became her conservator after she suffered a mental health breakdown in 2008.

[00:26:59] He's been in charge of her finances, career and health care. 2008 was a long time ago though. And young people do stupid shit. So she went and shaved her head. I remember that day. I was actually in LA and saw it on TV. It was breaking news. It is sad. But I don't know. I know kids that have shaved their head for fun. I don't know why she did it. She probably doesn't know either. You don't know paddles. Nobody knows. Maybe her dogs know. I bet she told her dogs.

[00:27:29] Do you know why I shaved my head? Oh no. I know. He said in the 13 years he's been on duty here that he saved his daughter from disaster. If the public knew all the facts of Mrs. Spears' personal life, not only her highs and her lows, but all the addiction and mental health issues that she struggled with. Well, the addiction, yeah. But what are you giving her? Because I would take stuff, I guess, if my dad gave it to me. I could become an addict overnight. I love stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. You don't know until you know if you already have an addictive personality. You don't know until you know.

[00:27:59] You don't know until you know? No. Say I said 7,000 Marlboro Lights later. So he says he doesn't want to. He will step down, but only when the time is right. That's vague. He said in another court filing, the transition needs to be orderly and include a resolution of matters pending before the court. In a new Loan Spears' live maze sent around the dogs. It's not clear if he had anything to do with the dogs being removed.

[00:28:27] The housekeeper took both dogs to an emergency vet who expressed alarm at their conditions. At that point, it was decided that the housekeeper. At that point, it was decided that Spears' dog sitter should take custody of him. When she confronted the housekeeper last week about the dogs, things got heated. TMZ said Spears was upset that the housekeeper had taken photos of the dog with her phone, possibly to document their alleged neglect and to send to Jamie Spears.

[00:28:50] A scuffle broke out over the phone broke out with Spears' sources saying she merely hit the phone, but the housekeeper told the police she called the cops that she struck her arm, causing her to lose grip on the phone. Okay, well, I ain't calling the cops over that. No. God. So, that's our update. I don't know. I don't know, termites.

[00:29:14] I think most of the people, most of the termites on board with this show probably are just distant observers as I am. You know, not really highly invested. I am in the story, but not in Brittany. Oh. Well, I don't know the lady. I do want her to be able to run amok for a few years and see what happens. See if she can handle it. Why not? What, is she 39 years old or some crap?

[00:29:39] I mean, if the people I mentioned in my phone are making it, Brittany could do. This is just a public service announcement. It's not really an update. It is an update. Update! Just so people know, TSA extended the mask rule into January. I think people should know that if they're flying. Yeah. Okay? And I'd go get the N95 one because I've been running around with dumb ones. I love the St. Louis Blues!

[00:30:06] Like, fucking, I have so many masks that I'm sure aren't really probably doing anything. But it seemed like they were flying the cloth ones for a while. I'm a Libra! You know, I mean, I don't wear anything. I want to get on the flight and have a mask on that says, can I have a vodka cranberry? It's to see how many people would just get me a vodka cranberry. Walk into the Delta Lounge and then walk up to the bar. Put it over N95. Yeah, over it.

[00:30:36] Over it. Oh my God! I didn't have many updates this week. But I have a lot of news. A lot of great news. Now, I'm telling you people, it's a good goddamn thing we live in America. Wow. Because if you're living in the United Kingdom, your McDonald's have run out of milkshakes. No! And that used to be my favorite thing at McDonald's, the chocolate milkshake. I love their chocolate milkshake.

[00:31:06] McDonald's has been forced to stop selling milkshakes and bottled drinks at nearly 1,300 restaurants in the United Kingdom as Brexit-related staff shortages. I, you shouldn't have Brexited. Nope. Nope. You're gonna, you're gonna regret, regret your Brexit and supply chains cause delays to the pandemic, by the pandemic continue to slam companies. Like most retailers, we are currently experiencing supply chain issues impacting the availability of a small number of products.

[00:31:36] Bottled drinks, that's not a small number, bottled drinks. And milkshakes are temporarily unavailable in restaurants across England, Scotland, and Wales. Wow. What about Northern Ireland? That's part of the UK. Okay? Come on, people. Get your stories with all the facts. Maybe they have drivers over there. I don't know. A spokesman for the Fast Food Giant said. Here's another reason why. Shortage of truck drivers that has contributed to the supply disruption in Britain.

[00:32:03] The Road Haulage Association said the United Kingdom is short around 100,000 truck drivers, 20,000 of them who are EU nationals that left the country after Brexit. There's also a shortage of workers in other parts of the food supply chain. I'm surprised they're not blaming it on the American unemployment. All you lazy people sitting at home. And you know what? This is what's crazy about Brexit.

[00:32:30] Like, when Lewis and I were in, we went for his big birthday. I won't say which one. He wanted to go to Scotland and he wanted to go to Loch Ness. Well, I wanted to go to Loch Ness. But we were, like, in this bar and this girl was from, like, Poland. And she, because we were like, why did you move here? Inverness is the top of Scotland. Like, the weather is not, I'm not saying it's a field day in Poland, but.

[00:32:54] And she said, well, because I married my, my girlfriend is here and I want to be with my girlfriend. But then I thought, now when Brexit, because of the EU, she could do that. Because Poland was part of the EU. But when they Brexited, does that mean that girl's got to go home? I think so. Unless she marries the other girl. Her girlfriend. I don't know. I don't think they thought all this through.

[00:33:22] A shitload of your workforce, you're evacuating. It's a little serious for the podcast, but. I know. I'm just saying, if you happen to be going to the UK, don't get your heart set on a chocolate milkshake. That's why you're going. You've got to really check yourself. Yeah, but Americans would do that. You know they would. Okay, this is crazy. Their Nirvana baby on the album.

[00:33:52] The album Nevermind. His name was Spencer Eldon. He's suing the band for child sexual exploitation, saying he was unable to consent to having his image used for the iconic 1991 album. What? I know. I'm sure he should talk to his parents. Well, I'm going to tell you how it happened. Okay. Here's what they should do. I don't know what they did pay. They don't say, did they pay the baby? Back dead. Did they pay the baby's parents?

[00:34:22] I'm sure they had to. Doesn't sound like it. So I'm saying, give Spencer, who's got Nirvana's money? Courtney Love. Courtney Love. Well, I don't think you're barking up the wrong tree, Spencer. Dave Grohl. Yeah, Dave Grohl's probably got it. Give the guy 25 grand, call it even. Somebody give. Just a round number for your nude baby picture. If somebody, if I had a nude baby picture and somebody offered me 25 grand, yes.

[00:34:51] Fuck, I'd do it for 7,500. Okay. Five. We'll call them Jack. Five. There's no pictures of any of us older kids before age like 10. And there's shitty Polaroids at that. No, I was actually, for Comedy Central or something, they're like, do you have any pictures like when you're four or five? I'm like, I'll call headquarters, but thinking those boxes got lost in a move. If they were even taken. Yeah.

[00:35:22] He claims, Spencer claims, that the band violated federal child pornography statutes and argues child exploitation. In a lawsuit that named the photographer Kirk Weddle and the labels behind the album's release, Eldon claims he has suffered lifelong damages. Nobody knows it's you. And nobody bought the album. There's a picture of the adult Spencer. Right.

[00:35:49] I mean, if I saw him at a bar, I wouldn't go, holy shit, that's a baby from Nirvana's album. How would I know that? And nobody bought the album because of you. It's just a white baby. I didn't like that the baby was underwater and I didn't see. I did remember being disturbed by the album cover because the baby was too little to really know how to swim. And there didn't seem to be an adult underwater with it. You think too much. No. You guys got to turn up smelling tea spirit.

[00:36:20] He says his legal guardians never signed a release. Well, that's a problem. Authorizing the use of any images of Spencer or his likeness and certainly not of commercial child pornography depicting him. He's also suing for distribution of private sexually explicit materials, negligence, and what's described as sex trafficking venture. He was forced to engage in commercial sex acts while under the age of 18. What? I don't know. Just reading.

[00:36:46] He's seeking damages, attorney fees, and an injunction to prohibit all parties from continuing to engage in the unlawful acts and practices described herein. And he wants to try out by jury. The permanent harm. Here's what he says he's suffered. What? It includes, but it's not limited to, extreme and permanent emotional distress with physical manifestations, interference with his normal development and educational progress, lifelong loss of income and earning capacity. What? Come on.

[00:37:15] Loss of future wages, past wages, future expenses for medical and psychological treatment, loss of life and loss of other and other losses to be described and proven at the trial of this matter. Here, here's how it happened. Weddle was a friend of Spencer's father, Rick, which is how young Spencer ended up on the album cover. Weddle calls up and was like, hey, Rick, want to make 200 bucks and throw your kid in the drink? Rick told NPR, the drink, it sounds like my dad.

[00:37:44] In 2008, I was like, what's up? And he's like, well, I'm shooting kids all week. Why don't you meet me at the Rose Bowl, throw your kid in the drink? And we just had a big party by the pool and no one had any idea what was going on. Spencer was reportedly sent a platinum copy of the Nevermind, the album, and a teddy bear by Geffen Records in 1991. A teddy bear? Just bringing up bad memories, Geffen Records. That's what you're doing.

[00:38:11] He recreated the, Eldon Spencer recreated the images multiple times over the years and had the word Nevermind tattooed on his chest. Okay, so you were all in for a while. But in a 2016 interview with GQ, Australia, he revealed that he'd recently become unhappy about the artwork. It's fucked up, he said. Pissed off about it, to be honest. Here's, this is where I, if I'm on a jury, I'm like, nobody knows the baby's you.

[00:38:43] Yes. Your parents fucked up. Sue your parents. That's right. That's right. You saw that platinum album, Spencer. God. Yeah. You gonna give that back? This is a sad, one of the saddest things I've read. Oh. I know, but it's funny. Okay. Because everybody on Twitter was super duper funny because I posted it. Eating one hot dog takes 35 minutes off your life, a study suggests. Well, in that case, I'm actually dead.

[00:39:13] Yeah. I'm a ghost. I'm a ghost right now that's doing stuff. I can, yeah. I love hot dogs. I think I've made that very clear throughout the years in my act. And, you know, I remember my mom, when my younger sister was in a high chair, cutting up. Raw ones. Raw. Yeah, I remember that. Raw cold hot dogs. And I remember like the littler kids in the family just fucking chow, lopping it. Delicious. Yeah, no ketchup, just a plain.

[00:39:42] We threw it like a dog, just threw it on the high chair. And you go, here you go. But they were just, and they couldn't, like sometimes Patrick could eat like four. And I'm like, this can't be good for a baby, right? And then somebody said something about worms. You might get, well, raw meat. I mean, my mom was a nurse. I trusted all that kind of shit that she did. I'm like, surely she's read about this. We're feeding these babies. An eighth month old in the high chair. Here's a raw hot dog, buddy. How about a beer?

[00:40:08] Researchers released a nutritional index this week, aiming to inform guidelines and help Americans achieve healthier and more emotional, stable diets. There were hot dog carts, by the way, in Vancouver, Canada, and hot dog places. Lewis, I am a traditionalist. I just want a hot dog, like off of New York or Chicago. I don't want it fancy. Or a Dodger dog. Those were really good in LA. I hate to say it. Not a Dodger fan, Cardinal fan. But I went to a lot of Dodgers games with my friend Chuck, who was nice enough to give

[00:40:38] me one of his season tickets and go with him. And I got to say, one of the most alluring ideas of it was the Dodger dog. I'd wait all day. I wouldn't eat all day. Because I'm like, I might have two. Vancouver is a Jappa dog. Jappa dog. That's what Lou loved. And because they have crazy hot dogs. Japanese hot dogs. Japanese hot dogs, which means they have lots of things on them. Yeah. Which was fine for something fun. So good.

[00:41:02] But Lou can't, Lou's just not like a regular, he wants everything to be like a little upgraded. And I want him downgraded. Findings included over 5,000 foods in the U.S. diet. We use these, they found 5,000 things that are terrible for you. We find that small targeted food level substitutions can be achieved by compelling nutritional benefits and environmental impact reductions. The food studies range from 74 minutes lost to 80 minutes gained per serving.

[00:41:32] Here's the bad things. What do you all know? Now, sugary drinks, hot dogs, burgers, and breakfast and sandwich were linked with the most minutes of healthy life lost. Whereas fruits, not a star-spin mixed meatballs, better to eat cereal, and cooked grains where it starts to do with the largest gains. Well, how about that then? How about a hot dog? I take off a half an hour and then I eat a bowl of broccoli. Now I'm even. Right? Right? Right. According to their logic. It's good for math. Oh my God.

[00:42:00] One 85 gram serving of chicken wings translated to 3.3 minutes of lost life. Owing to sodium and harmful transfer of fatty acids while a beef hot dog on a bun result in some 36 minutes. What if I had a turkey hot dog? Those are fine. I know they're not as good. Peanut butter and jelly? 33 minutes off your life. So then I would blame my mother. That's what was packed every day.

[00:42:30] I didn't choose it. Vicky did the assembly line. We got what we got. Well, you can always tell who was rich at lunch. I'm like, oh, look, her dad owns the grocery store. They have pomegranates. I'd never even seen one. I'm like, what the fuck is that? Yeah. Lettuce. Yeah. Lettuce in your bread. And fancy bread. Yeah. We had white bread, peanut butter and jelly in a bag of some sort of chips out of those variety giant things. Yeah.

[00:43:02] Foods like salted peanuts, baked salmon and rice and beans were also associated with gains. Well, I like salmon. I'll eat a hot dog and then some salmon. Maybe I'll eat a hot dog for lunch and salmon. But then, this is why you know you don't have to listen to these things. I mean, I do love science. Or as the anti-vaxxer put on Twitter, science. She didn't know how to spell science. Do I think Lewis has ever had a Funyun? Yes.

[00:43:31] Because sometimes on the bus, other people bring those things on being me. And then I make him taste them and he always just goes. And he makes this weird face and he thinks about it. And then he just goes, I don't know why you would do that. Sometimes you're hungry, Lou, and a Funyun. A Funyun's not a regular. A Funyun's a, you know, get off the beaten path. Right. This is why you know you don't need to listen to this article, though, people. Yeah.

[00:43:56] When you think of Betty White, the actress, it's almost impossible for a smile not to cross your face. Few women in Hollywood have enjoyed a career. It spans over seven decades while constantly charming the pants off households across America. Her roles are iconic. We know all that. This month, she celebrates her 99th birthday. Here's some quotes from Betty White. Enjoy life.

[00:44:26] Accentuate the positive, not the negative. It sounds trite, but a lot of people will pick something out to complain about rather than saying, hey, that was great. It's not hard to find great stuff if you look. Her other piece of advice, eat hot dogs and drink vodka. Vodka, probably in that order. No. Girl. She's 99. Nice. She don't seem like a vodka person. No. No, right? She seems like a savory lady.

[00:44:55] Then she gave a couple other pieces. Here's how you're going to find meaning in later life. Pay attention, paddles. You'll live to be a thousand. Keep busy. Don't focus everything on you. That wears out pretty fast. It's not hard to find things you're interested in, but enjoy them and indulge them. And I think that can keep you on your toes. Make yourself useful. Keep your mind sharp. You know how she does it? How do all old people say they do it? Crossword puzzles. I know. I love crossword puzzles. I'm old like that.

[00:45:24] I'm the lady that will have an actual, I like the LA Times better than the New York Times. The New York Times one, I didn't even know that it started out easier on Monday and got harder as we go. My mom told me that. Like my parents are so much, their basic education is so much better than mine. Like my mom can finish Mondays in like 15 minutes. Everything. She's very smart. And I'm like, I got Tuesdays. Took me four hours. I'm missing like seven words. Can you help?

[00:45:57] Yeah. Okay. This is, um, this little something for you auctioneer people who loves an auction. No paddles. You don't care about an auction. Ah, you know, people that like collectible stuff. I don't really care. I don't care about all that. But I think that this is kind of cool. Items belonging to gangsta. Gangsta. Al Capone are being auctioned off in Sacramento. Some possessions of notorious gangster Al Capone are being sold at auction later this year

[00:46:26] in Sacramento. Now see, you probably don't need the same money you'd need at the Sotheby's auction for the, um, I forgot my plate with my lighter. I just saw it. I'm like, shit. I haven't tried. I did feel sad for a second. Okay. Um, you know, you could probably afford something. This is not like an art auction. Sonny Capone, the only child of the infamous Prohibition era gangsta Al Capone, had reportedly been living in the Auburn area in relative obscurity.

[00:46:55] His daughters are now selling his estate, including Al Capone's Colt pistol that Al dubbed sweetheart, his diamond monogrammed watch, diamond studded jewelry, bedroom, and then bedroom furniture from his Palm Island home, family photos, a home movie of Capone and his associates, a prison letter sent to Sonny, according to his statement Monday, from Witherill's luxury asset auctioneers and appraises. Oh, it's a little luxury. I don't know. Maybe it's not affordable.

[00:47:23] These items have been in the family since the 1920s, and if anything happened to us, nobody would know the stories that go with these items, said Capone's living granddaughter, Diane Capone. Diane is worried that the piece of history would go up in flame. This is the second summer we've had our suitcases packed in case we were going to be evacuated, and we knew there was no way we could save these things that belong to our grandparents. She's trying to preserve history, and she's also determined to set the record straight on who she remembers as Papa, now putting his letter from Alcatraz for his son up for sale.

[00:47:53] If you think you know Al Capone, once you've read the letter, it will change your notion of him, just a loving father to a loving son. Over and over again, he refers to my dad as son of my heart. Oh. How traumatic. Son of my heart. So intense. And that's not the language of the words of a man who is hard-hearted, Diane Capone said. Those are the words of a man who's a very devoted father, and there is a part of the story that we wanted to tell. That's nice. The auction takes place October 8th, if you're up by the Sutter Club in downtown Sacramento. See you there. Yeah.

[00:48:23] He was convicted of tax evasion in Chicago and transferred to Alcatraz. I've been to Alcatraz, like, every time I go to San Francisco. I can never not go to... I just love it. I love the history. And there was a warden there named Madigan. I believe his first name was John, too, which is my dad, my grandpa's, everybody's name. Yeah, he looks like my grandpa. Wow. No, there's a familiarity. I mean, he doesn't... Yeah. He was a warden. And he was apparently a really nice warden. Is he in here?

[00:48:50] No, because we don't know any Madigans that went west. We only know the ones in Ireland and then the ones that came here, and St. Louis is as far west as we know. So I don't... I'm sure it's the same clan. I mean, eventually, yes, that man has to be related to me somehow, but... I don't know. But it was weird to see John... I think it was John, or some name in our family. There's only five names the guys use. But it was just to see Madigan, and you're like, ooh, wow, he was the... But then I looked him up.

[00:49:19] They said he was one of the nicest ones ever. Yeah. Let me taste my chilled watermelon drink. Watermelon rosy. You know what? It's nice. It's 100 degrees, and if it's a hot summer... For a hot summer day, it's refreshing. It's got... And not too much watermelon driving you crazy. We'll find another flavor. Yeah.

[00:49:48] I want to try another flavor. Okay. I don't really do... I think most of the termites that are involved in this podcast know everything going on. Really, pretty informed about COVID and stuff. But this one... This is when the South... Hold our beer, Mississippi. Oh, no. Yeah.

[00:50:14] Mississippi officials warn against using livestock ivermectin to prevent COVID after rise in poison control calls. What? Here's... Oh, my God. I have two articles on this. I'm not going to... I'm not going to read them all. What? I know, because I got deep into this. But here's what still no one will say in every article I read, which was like six.

[00:50:42] Where did this rumor first start? I'm going to guess the facial book. Q. Q. That's a good guess. A Klan rally? Maybe. Maybe. Mississippi Poison Control is reporting. And, you know... A Hitler convention? And I love Biloxi. I don't want everybody in Biloxi to get sick and die. Come on. How am I supposed to get down there in Maramahoney's and get crab gloves? I love that place.

[00:51:11] It's probably my favorite restaurant in the whole world. Mississippi's Poison Control is reporting an alarming uptick in calls from people who took a drug, bought at a feed store meant to deworm livestock. Now, when you have cancer, do you go to the feed store? For? For chemo? No. Because they don't have things for humans at the feed store. When you feel sick and you get a hankering to go to the feed store, don't. Just don't.

[00:51:39] Some believe it will help with COVID-19, but veterinarian experts warn if you buy it at a feed store, it could possibly leave you paralyzed. Yeah. Every day, every day, people, phone calls, phone calls coming in. And Raina Boudreaux at Double M Feed and Pet Supplies described. She said it started a month ago. It's been flying off the shelves, and right now it's very hard for us to even get. She put out 10 tubes of ivermectin paste for livestock this morning. I'm completely out right now. That's a few hours before closing.

[00:52:09] I don't. She said a woman even came in from Mississippi to get some for a farm because it's hard to get your hands on it right now, even for the vendors. They put out a warning. Meanwhile, Tractor Supply, which I love Tractor Supply. So great. They have the greatest, it's the greatest flashlight ever that I have from Tractor Supply. I give it out as wedding gifts. Tractor Supply is starting to display, and it's funny until you have it, and then you go, I don't know how I live without it. It's also so heavy I could beat a rodent.

[00:52:38] Like if a raccoon jumped at me, boom, boom. Just startle it. Tractor Supply is starting to put signs in the store. Tractor Supply is having to put... When you use a product that's highly concentrated, it is designed in oral form for a horse or cattle. It is easy to overdose, Dr. Mike Strain of the Department of Agriculture and Forestry said. It gained popularity over social media as a... Okay, which social media? Right.

[00:53:07] It's the facial book. Once again, Mark Zuckerberg, not responsible. Hey, man, it's just a bulletin board. I can't help it if, you know, the morons want to share fake shit. But the FDA has not approved it for that person, and it explicitly tells... For that purpose, it explicitly tells people not to take it for COVID. Merrick, the drug manufacturer, says the current data does not show it is safe or effective to use for anything other than what it's been approved for.

[00:53:36] It's approved for use for parasites, lice, and some skin conditions in humans as well as deworming in animals. Okay, if you have COVID, that doesn't mean you have lice. I can't... Who can have these conversations? I'd let them take it. Go ahead. Except then that's another hospital bed that's taken for somebody who might have just had a regular heart attack. In higher doses that will cross...

[00:54:00] In high enough doses that will cross the blood-brain barrier and what it does, it can basically result in paralysis. There... Then it is very difficult to treat, I bet. But... Mississippi, stop it. Come on, I want to come back there. There would be no reason to come if you're all paralyzed and sitting at home or dead. Wow. Yeah. So that...

[00:54:29] And then, as if that wasn't enough, Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri. Oh, no. Oh, no. My mayor, once again, the lake made the news this summer for being... And last summer for being completely out of control. Super spreader. Super... Everything was a super spreader. And it's a huge lake. And we were just super spreading everywhere you could spread. Everybody was really into super spreading.

[00:54:57] And then, you know, my mom and dad are running around. And I don't want them running around. The mayor of Lake Ozark. Dennis Newbury. I don't normally read you guys Lake Ozark things. Or sometimes I spend time at a lake in Tennessee. I don't read those things because they're not national. And I think no one will give a shit. But this one went national. You think it went international? Because of what he... He posted this on the facial book. Oh, God. Dennis Newbury posted this. He's the mayor of Lake Ozark, Missouri.

[00:55:29] A dear friend of mine, Dennis Miser, is at a central Missouri hospital with COVID. Dennis is the owner of Mohick Barbecue in Cuba, Missouri. Now, I've been to Cuba, Missouri. I'm going to have to stop by this bar... Well, no. There's like COVID everywhere. I've known him for over 30 years. He keeps a boat at a marina here in Lake Ozark. As a Hail Mary pass... But he spelled it Mary, M-E-R-R-Y, like Christmas. Oh, no.

[00:55:58] I have procured... Which means stole in hillbilly talk. I procured some moonshine out of my brother's closet. As a Hail Mary pass, I've procured some ivermectin for him. And we'll be driving it to him today. He's in the hospital. This friend.

[00:56:23] Please pray for cooperation from his caregivers and hospital administrations to allow his loved ones and friends to step in and assist with his life. If we do nothing, his life will surely be taken from his 18-year-old son, his family, and friends. I need your prayers and commitments to be... Comments to attempt to gain favor with the powers that be. First of all, our mayor is not a doctor. Our mayor is a realtor.

[00:56:52] And this is... He was going to drive poison to the hospital. Because I guess if you're going to poison a friend, you want him to be in the hospital. That's the best place to be when the paralysis starts kicking in. So I saw this posted on Twitter. Somebody posted it. And I saw it yesterday and I thought, I'm not going to say anything about that because I actually thought this could be a parody. A joke. I really thought,

[00:57:21] I don't want to repost it if this dude didn't really do it, so I'll check tomorrow. So I went on the facial book and he had taken down the post. Yeah. You can't... Because everybody's like, This guy's got to resign, right? Yeah. He's sneaking poison in. And I love how he thinks he's getting in the COVID ward. If you've not heard any of the news, people die alone in COVID. You don't get to go in and visit your loved ones with COVID. They don't believe in the news. Oh my God.

[00:57:47] I feel very sorry for anyone working at the Central Missouri Hospital that he speaks of. If you see this man, he's white. He has brown hair and looks to be about, I don't know, 35 to 40. Check his pockies. Where's your ivermectin? I know you have it. This is where you just go, People? What are we thinking? That's crazy. Yep, that's how we make the national news.

[00:58:17] Here's some great national news. Not like my moronic. That's the mayor. Just got to say that again. The mayor. Here's some great news. Taco Bell revives breakfast. Yes! And hires Lil Nas X. As chief, Chief Impact Officer. Fantastic. You know, some fancy company out there in California hired Prince Harry to be chief impact officer.

[00:58:47] He'll have no impact. Right. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't do anything. You know who's going to have impact? Lil Nas. Yeah. This is a great choice. I noticed it. I noticed it. All of it. Over the course of the past several months, Taco Bell's bringing back the best meal of the day.

[00:59:15] Better yet, the fast food taco chain is launching a massive breakfast campaign with former Taco Bell employees. Oh, he used to work there. Former Taco Bell employee, Lil Nas. As its newest spokesperson. Good for him. He went a little too far with the Satan shoes, but I'm good with that. I got beyond that. You know, everybody makes a mistake. He apologized. So what? I have devil shoes. Right. I meant it. It was a joke. It didn't go well. Monday morning, the restaurant announced that Grammy Award winning musician is now Taco Bell's chief impact officer,

[00:59:43] a role that allows him to collaborate on the breakfast, on the brand experience from inside out. In layman's term, Lil Nas is now the face of Taco Bell for his breakfast chain, and then they go on and talk about him. And then here's what's coming back. Okay? Revamped. Cheesy toasted breakfast burritos. Never had one. I just like the tacos. Hash brown toasted breakfast burritos. Sounds good. Grande toast breakfast burritos.

[01:00:13] I don't want toast in a breakfast burrito. Anyway, it's all going to be back. And 90% of the location nationwide should have this available by mid-September. So if you're on your way to work and you're thinking maybe I'm going to grab something, there you go. Okay. We'll have to go taste it. Yeah, we'll do a taste. And I'll put it up on the Instagram.

[01:00:39] This is so – this has to be a show note picture so people can really get the gist of this. This is in Australia. This is in Australia. Helania Ality, a lady, was browsing the spice aisle of an Australian supermarket when she came face to face with a huge snake. Yep. Oh, my God. Mm-hmm.

[01:01:01] The head of the 10-foot long non-venomous diamond python emerged through a space in the shelf above the spicy jars in the Sydney store. Sydney. It's not like they're out in Perth or somewhere remote where you're like, yeah, well, I could see how a python – it's fucking Sydney. That's like saying Los Angeles. It's like big city. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And where did it hide? And how did it get to the aisle? The things are unpacked.

[01:01:29] How is it – because in the picture you can see it looks like a normal, regular American grocery store. If you're thinking, is it weird? Is it stuff in boxes? No. They're placed out on the shelf. Listen to this shit, though. And you – I didn't initially see it because it was curled up way in the back behind little jars of spices. I kind of turned to my right and it poked its head out. Uh, Helania? Who's coincidence only a trained snake catcher? What? Do what?

[01:01:57] Do what now? Okay. Said the snake's head had came within eight inches of her own. You know, I know a python doesn't – isn't poisonous. I know they squeeze you to death. But they can bite. Yeah. I don't care. I don't want to see it to open its mouth. I don't want to see it at all. No. But she said, how crazy is this? Thankfully, I have a background in snakes, so I was pretty calm about it. It definitely shocked me a little because I wasn't expecting it.

[01:02:26] Supermarket chain Woolworths confirmed in a statement that a slippery and rare customer was spotted – oh, they tried to make it funny and gentle. Oh, my God. Once it was sighted, our team members reacted quickly and calmly to cordon off the area for the safety of customers. Helania said she used her phone to video the snake, which will put the video – you see it, see it, just coming out –

[01:02:56] as it extended its body from the shelf into the aisle before reporting the intruder to the supermarket staff. So she's down there filming it. She retrieved a snake-catching bag she had from her nearby home and caught the snake. Who doesn't? I mean, look – this lady should get free groceries for a long time. At least a month. Yeah, well – It's a python. Well, because they would have had to evacuate the store. They would have had to call a snake catcher. You're just really, really lucky for life. I don't know. That's a little too much reward.

[01:03:27] Really? I'm going to ask you to get a python. Well – Come on. They just lucked out. She caught the snake, which she then had retreated back – which had then retreated back into the shelf. So she had to go get it. Then she released it to the nearby woodlands. It's unclear how the snake entered the supermarket. Well, that's a problem. That's a problem, Woolworths. And isn't it weird they have Woolworths there? I only think of those as a kid. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

[01:03:57] When I see one in, like, I think downtown San Antonio still has the signs there. Yeah. Like the old-timey sign. And now it's a diner. She was trained to catch venomous snakes when she was a volunteer working for a Sydney Wildlife Rescue Organization several years ago. Suspected the snake was a male looking for a mate. I knew straight away it was non-venomous. It was a non-aggressive, and it wasn't going to be a problem for anyone except Kathleen, who had a heart attack when she saw it.

[01:04:25] If anything, I think everyone was a little bit excited. We were all in lockdown, so it was kind of the most excitement we've had for a while. What a good attitude that lady has. And that store really should make a big deal. Her picture should be in the front. I would ask for a lot of shit if I was her. Yeah, I would, too. Listen, the odds of me being here and you not having to deal with this? Good for you. Very good for you. All right. All right. I don't... I'm just going to tell you guys this.

[01:04:56] In case you feel the need to just be dumb for a minute and look at something that you just go, what? Tom Hanks, the actor, for those of you who haven't kept up, has a son named Chet. Now, Tom has a son named Colin that I've seen in a lot of my shows on Netflix and all that, and he's a wonderful actor, and he's cute, but more than cute.

[01:05:25] He's a really good actor. He seems like a very, you know, regular. Chet, however, first, he makes a lot of videos on Instagram. We will... Paddles will put in the show notes so you don't have to hunt them down. Now, I'm not saying this does anything good for your psyche or your intellectual well-being, but it's hard to believe this is Tom Hanks. This kid, he has five. I looked it up. Does he really? Yes. Wow.

[01:05:54] And four or five. I want to say five. A lot. Oh, well, yeah. Well, this lady... Colin is his half-brother. This Chet Hanks' mom is Rita Wilson. But every time I see a video of Chet, because he's all over the map. Like, he's an anti-vaxxer, but then he'd say bad things about Trump. Like, none of it is even a cohesive thread, right? Right.

[01:06:22] And then sometimes he talks, like, with a rapper accent, and he's, like, super white. But he... And then sometimes he doesn't have it at all. He's very confusing. But I think he does it... He's a rapper. That's his thing. Yeah. Good for him. But here's where I just go, what? Chet Hanks? Whose rap name is Chet Hanks? But he just changed it to a K... I mean, to an X instead of a KX.

[01:06:52] KS. So he took Hanks. He kept... The whole idea of a rap name is it's not your... Your name. Right. Yeah. Like, I would be Smalls with a Z. I already know my rap name. I'm Smalls with a Z. Wow. Come on. I like it. But, you know... He said, this video was viewed over four...

[01:07:21] Every time he posts a video, all I think is, I wonder if he gets to go to Thanksgiving. I wonder if there's gonna come a point where the mom and dad... His name is Chester Marlon Hanks. Born in 1990. Andy is an American actor. He is an actor. He's been in stuff. He's had recurring roles in Empire and Shameless. So gotta give him credit there. He's appeared in Showtime, legal drama, miniseries, Your Honor.

[01:07:50] He has a viral song called White Boy Summer. And I watch... I don't know what that meant. I don't... I was like, oh my. I don't know. I don't know what White Boy Summer... But he's really determined to have one. He is having a white boy. He's the third child of Tom Hanks. And the first child born to Hanks and actress Rita Wilson. He went to Northwestern. He's not dumb. Right. It's like he's purposely trying to act like he's not educated.

[01:08:17] He's going out of his way to act like he doesn't have any information. His older half-brother is Colin Hanks. Oh, he was in Dexter. That's where I know Colin from. I love that joke. He... Oh, for a while, he was Chet Hayes. Hey, baby. Wow. That didn't work out. He did. Yeah. Then he had a musical... He has a daughter. He does.

[01:08:47] Oh, wow. He had it... So here's where he's confusing. He had an Instagram in support of Black Lives Matter. He announced a social media hiatus after citing pro-Trump conspiracy theorists targeting his family. Q believers had falsely accused his father of being a pedophile and satanic. Yeah, I remember when they said Tom Hanks was a Satanist. I'm like, you didn't even come close to hitting the nail on that head. I mean, there's some people that I go, maybe, you know. He's not Tom Hanks. Come on now.

[01:09:18] He posted a video later insulting Donald Trump. So he's just... He describes himself as the black sheep of the family. Probably. He was wanted by the British police in 2015 after damaging a hotel room and carrying $1,800 worth of damages. He ended rehab for cocaine that year. There's a lot going on there.

[01:09:44] But I just laugh because I try to picture if my brother was doing this, what would my dad do? And then I... I don't know what goes on in families, but it's just... It's amusing from a distance. He caused a lot of rumble this week with his anti-COVID thing. This is what he said. It's the motherfucking flu. Get over it. And then it went on. I watched the video. It went on. But it got viewed 400,000 times.

[01:10:10] And he just says, if you're in danger, stay inside. I'm tired of wearing a motherfucking mask. He doubled down Wednesday in another video. Just like me, you have the right to be mad. I have the right not to get that shit. He said, calling the vaccine an experimental government injection. My immune system said it's good. It doesn't need to be tampered with. This is my favorite line. There's more evidence for UFOs being real for the vaccine being healthy for you. Really? That's funny. Because I read a lot of UFO things. And I'm not sure that I would agree with that.

[01:10:40] And I don't think I would call my doctor friends and say, do you guys agree with this? I don't think they would. Maybe he learned that at work. Well, maybe he didn't pay attention. I'm going to finish with this one because it's super cool. Good. But you know how I'm kind of obsessed with art, like expensive art. They'll never own it and stuff. But I really love Basquay. And if you've never seen that movie, it was so good.

[01:11:11] I can't even say I love the art. I just liked his story. I mean, you know, you don't root for someone to be a heroin addict. But anyway, he was an interesting person. It's a good movie. So, Beyonce. And I don't do, I don't usually do celebrity shit because I'm usually, I don't care. But this is more about the painting. Beyonce and Jay-Z starred in Tiffany and Company, in a Tiffany and Company.

[01:11:40] So Tiffany, Tiffany the jeweler. Campaign featuring never before seen Basquay painting. What? What? Wow. A new campaign from Tiffany and Company marks a number of firsts, including the inaugural instance of Beyonce and Jay-Z appearing alongside one another for a creative endeavor of this variety. That campaign in question, boasting photos by Mason Poole, also stands as the first time

[01:12:08] that Tiffany Diamond has been featured in a campaign. Oh my God. Uh-huh. Wow. But it's the presence of the never before seen Basquay piece, as Miles Soka reported early Monday, that's steering the chatter. We don't have any literature that he said that, that says he made the painting for Tiffany, Alexandra Arnault, those are the super rich Frenchies, the executive VP of products and communications

[01:12:34] at Tiffany, set of the late artists, the painting's called Equal Pie, like science. Like E equals Z. But we know a little bit about Basquay. This guy's trying to, the colors of this painting are the Tiffany colors. He's trying to say that it was a secret shout out way back then. No, dude, no. We know, but we know a little bit about Basquay. We know his family. We did an exhibition of his work at the Louis Vuitton Foundation a few years back. We know that he loved New York and he loved luxury and he loved jewelry.

[01:13:03] My guess is that the blue painting is not by chance. Oh, I think so. Yeah. The color is so specific that it has to be some kind of homage. But you have to say it like that. It's an homage. The About Love campaign is complemented by a video element complete with the take on Moon River and some J captured Super 8 footage for a film element likened to a music video. The two enlisted so-and-so and so-and-so.

[01:13:31] The print campaign will launch the partnership that has a commitment for $2 million towards scholarships. But here's why. I'm like, how have we never seen this painting? Right. What happened? I'm going to tell you. Me! That's right. Here's the little known history. Robin's egg blue. That's exactly what it is. And that's Tiffany too. But what do you own the color? I mean, come on now. There's plenty of paintings that have this color.

[01:14:00] It doesn't mean it was meant for you secretly on a down low shout out. The arrogance to think that. Go, you rock on, narcissists. The painting, though, however, is going to go on display at Tiffany's Fifth Avenue flagship store in New York. So the next time I go to New York, I'll be definitely going. If it's there, I'll have to call. Can you imagine calling Tiffany's? Do you guys have that painting up? The one with Jay-Z and Beyonce? Can I see the diamond?

[01:14:33] It incorporated a Basquay campaign. Incorporated a Basquay painting that it recently acquired, for sources to say, well into the eight figures, so they're not going to think what they've had. I don't care about the campaign. What's the story behind the painting? The canvas dates from what is rightly regarded as Basquay's most coveted year and contains a number of his characteristic motifs, including the crown and skull. It's a wash and light blue hue made famous by Tiffany, although there's no evidence that the artist created the work with the brand in mind. Yeah.

[01:15:03] Maybe blue was on sale. Maybe he went to Aaron Brothers, and they had a whole tub of blue and went 40% off. Done. Yeah. Alexander, oh no, Tiffany, Tiffany executive vice president, said the color is so specific. Oh, I already know. It's supposed to be so on that. It's going to be on display. We know that. I'm going to tell you, though. They said it was sold for somewhere between 15 and 20 million.

[01:15:36] Although it was reported the painting had never been seen before, it is entirely unknown to the art world or the market. According to the Arnett Price database, the painting was offered at Sotheby's London in June 1990, just two years after he died at age 27, and it was offered for $250,000. Wow. And nobody bought it. Wow. Yep. Okay. Yep. Anyone considering making the purchase at the time who's familiar with Basquay's,

[01:16:06] Basquay's likely kicking themselves over that one. Six years later, the blue canvas came to auction again, also at Sotheby's London, this time with a lower estimate. It sold for $253,000. Holy shit. Yep. It didn't take long for Twitter sleuths, this is why I like Twitter, to track down the work's most recent previous owner, the Sabadini family, a Milan-based clan, clan, behind the jewelry house.

[01:16:35] I don't know that jewelry. I don't know fancy things like that. A 2018 feature in W Magazine shows mother and daughter Stefani and Micola Sabadini posing in front of the painting, which hangs above their sofa. I know rich people can buy art and hoard it, but I just think it's wrong. It's not very nice. It's not very nice. The whole world should get to see it. Jerry Seinfeld used to have a joke about,

[01:17:03] he went to the Smithsonian, the science part, and there was a toothbrush in a thing, and it said, on loan from Neil Armstrong. And I don't even remember the joke. I remember the gist of the joke was, Jerry just going, Neil, give him the toothbrush. Okay? Would you need it back? Are you going to need it back? But I mean, like you could loan it. Yeah. I don't know. It just seems like over the top hoarding. Talk about hoarding. That's crazy.

[01:17:34] His record auction was $110 million. He sold one in the spring of 2017. So, wait, there's one other thing on here. Here's the other thing. Also grabbing attention is the fact that Beyonce's wearing the famous 12.85 carat Tiffany yellow diamond necklace in the photograph. When Aubrey Hepburn sported the famous diamond in the promotional images for breakfast at Tiffany's, the same gem was set in a necklace called the ribbon rosette.

[01:18:03] It was reset in 2012 with an additional 100 plus carats of diamonds. Beyonce is reportedly only the fourth person ever to wear it. Really? Go look at it. in the show notes. Yeah, you must see it in the show notes. I can't believe, there's nothing else on this painting that implies Tiffany. No. You don't own a collar.

[01:18:31] Tiffany wants it. I'm going to, I'm just going to give you, I don't ever give you guys previews, but I'm going to do it. Because I'm not, yeah, well, because I'm fascinated. My brother's always, and I'm going to do the men too. But, I was reading this story about the richest lady in the world. In the world. It is. And I don't ever even, I wouldn't even know what to kind of do, to do with this money. I'm just fascinated that these people exist.

[01:18:59] Remember we talked about that lady that was a roofer? Well, she's not a roofer. No. Used to be comedian, comedian Dan O'Sullivan, St. Louis, it was funny, and he's like, I remember, you know, I was a roofer for a while, saying to me, hey man, do you think it's dangerous on this roof? And I went, roof? He's so drunk,

[01:19:29] he didn't even know he was on the roof. I'm going to run down. There are 20, let me just make sure I'm right, Forbes' 25 richest women in the world. And what they did to get, well, what they kind of, I can't go too deep, it's too hard. But, what they did to get it. But the richest one, because I don't know a lot about this lady, I'm just fascinated.

[01:19:57] Her name is Francois Bettencourt Myers. And she's pretty, I don't understand why she's wearing Harry Carey glasses, but, you know, she's French, be weird. She's the richest. And her, she's the richest. And you'll think of her now, every time you go in a drugstore. Because you know what her family did? Think, think Frenchie, think a drugstore. What product? Face cream.

[01:20:29] You're close, but what's the family name? No, but good guess. Oile Olé. It is not Oile Olé. It is L'Oreal. Oh. Right. And I still buy their mascara. And then when you read about the lady, I'm happy I do. Nice. It's a happy story. But I'll read you the other ones because some of them, you're like, do what? You fucking made all that money? Do what? And they do dumb it down. Oprah Winfrey, 2.7 billion. Source? TV shows.

[01:20:59] I don't even write. So we'll do that next week. Termites. All right. Oh my God. Wow. It's time. It's time. Termites. No, why was them? You know, just, just, do you know what an atom looks like? Kind of like what I just made, but now it fell apart. Okay. Yeah, I could draw one. I don't know what they do. I don't know what they are. I went to go look for the blue moon and I didn't see it. You didn't see the moon. I don't know which way I was supposed to be looking, but I couldn't find it. All right. Termites.

[01:21:29] Behave yourselves. Stay safe. And until next episode.