Episode 54: Polite Apes, The Trojan Horse, & Steve Wynn’s Picassos

[00:00:09] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on. The pub is open! It is episode 54. How crazy is that? That we've been doing this that long. It's crazy. Fire! Fire!

[00:00:34] I just got back from where? Atlantic City, the Borgata. Atlantic City gets a bad rap. And maybe it's deserved a little bit. Maybe at night time. But in the summer, it's very fun. And I got to go on a boat with my friends. They took me in all the inlets. I never even been in the Atlantic except for Florida.

[00:00:56] And there was a beach town. It was great. And from the room at the Borgata, I could see the Golden Nugget. And I laughed my ass off because it was blinking who's upcoming at that Golden Nugget. And the biggest one, he's getting a bunch of nights, was Johnny Mathis. And I'm like, wait a second. I mean, I used to do a joke about my parents loving Johnny Mathis. It's on some CD. I don't remember what.

[00:01:20] But yeah, I looked him up. He's 85. Yep. And he's, yep. This is why it takes so long to get to headline these rooms. I told John Panette a long time ago, because we were about the same age before he died. But I said, in order to get the good rooms, we're going to have to start killing old people. Okay? Because they're not quitting of their own volition. Engelbert Humperdinck was advertised as coming up. He's 86.

[00:01:47] And then when my friend Dory and her brother Dave, she goes, oh my God, I just bought my mom tickets to that. I go, no, you didn't. Johnny Mathis. And then I met her mom. And she's like, oh yeah, I'm super excited. I mean, good for him. But I just, I'm like, well, how am I ever going to get, I mean, I have the, I like the Borgata better anyway. But, you know, they're not giving us a chance to move up the ladder if they're going to hang on like this. Let me forget, 86, Engelbert Humperdinck.

[00:02:15] I remember being a kid in the car going to Florida. And I had never heard the name Engelbert Humperdinck. And we laughed in the back of a station wagon. I don't know why to a nine-year-old that was so goddamn funny. And then I made different combinations of it. They went on for 18 hours. And then my dad was like, you have to stop this. This is why Jonathan Witherspoon was in a mental institution, Kathleen. Because he couldn't get off subjects. And you're stuck on a subject. I'm still laughing. Yeah.

[00:02:45] I was like, okay, Jack, whatever. It's funny to me. What are we drinking? Did I already say that? No, we're drinking the Cape May tan lines. Because why? We were just there. And Kelly McFarlane was with me. Some of you thought that was paddles in the video. No, it was Kelly McFarlane. She's a comedian in and of her own right. And sometimes she opens shows for me when I'm up there. This is a Mexican-style lager with sea salt and lime. And it's actually really good. So yay for Cape May. Oh, and my God. The fish, the band, P-H-I-S-H.

[00:03:15] They were performing, I think, for three nights in a row. And there were fish children everywhere. They're like mini deadheads. But here's what I'll say. The pot kids, much more well-behaved, polite. Two of them held a door open. I was like, whoa, look at this throwback. I kind of like it. Very pleasant. Like they even saw, I saw the band checking in. And their fans were just around.

[00:03:44] And they just waved at them. But they didn't like, they were just so polite. They were like, hi. And then they just watched them get out of a van. There were like 10 guys in a van. And I wouldn't know fish if they walked into my house and introduced themselves. I would still be like, now what do you all do? I didn't even know they were a Grateful Dead cover band until my friend Brian explained that. And then I don't really know anything they sing. But I will say their fan base is extremely polite.

[00:04:13] And they were very pleasant. So thumbs up for the fish children. The children. I can't say there probably wasn't anybody. 40 seemed to be about the oldest. That's a young person's thing. I think the dead is for my friends. Yep. Brian. The 55. Yeah, the 50s and up. And then I think fish took over for the children. I don't know any of the children. I don't either. We'll have to Google one. Yeah. To me it all sounds like I'm like nine and have a xylophone in my room. And I'm just going.

[00:04:46] But I also I'm not you know I don't I drink but I'm not a drug person. So I'm not I think if you're high maybe. So say some of my friends that it's a better. It's a different experience I should say than if you're not high. And I would take me too many drinks to get to that level. I'd just pass out. I'd have I need like a whole bottle of Jameson to understand the Grateful Dead. I know I don't I always get my make my friend Brian give me a t-shirt though because I do love their their whole theme.

[00:05:15] I like their merch anyway. That was so that's a shout out to everybody who came to the Borgata. And this lady Kathy Erio left this for me backstage. Some stuff makes it backstage other stuff. I don't know if it ever gets to me but this was very it's adorable. It's a mermaid ornament. I don't know somebody saw one once and she's holding it off. She's holding a pearl. Oh yeah. I love it. I'm going to have so many great ornaments.

[00:05:43] I'll do a video when I finally put up a tree this year because that was just great. So thank you. Shout out there. Some other termite scent. That was empty. This lady sent dog treats and I don't have a dog but I have a lot of dog visitors. Yes. But mustard will mustard picky though. Ron's dog my parents dog won't eat shit. I'll have to find somebody with a dog like a beagle or something that'll just inhale food. A lab something like that. Yeah.

[00:06:12] But it's a fancy dog bakery. Yeah. So thank you for that. And then this lady. I can't remember if this is the one. Oh this is from Heather. Look at the mini Crown Royal bags. And I have two sets of them. Oh this one. I'm getting confused because this lady also sent some. Look they say shanty bar and grill. Henderson, Nevada. We deliver. Not even an area code.

[00:06:41] It's so awesome. You guys have. There's so many uses for these things. I put my jewelry in it. I have my contact stuff in one. I have my lipsticks in the bigger one. It's very exciting. So thank you for that. And then there was. Oh some. Oh this is another favorite. I do have enough now you guys. So I've crossed a line. I can't eat as much hot sauce. More hot baby hot sauces. For the plane. Because I'm telling you if you're traveling. Trust me. They have nothing. There's nothing going on to eat or drink.

[00:07:10] You're not going to want to be on an airplane without your hot sauce. I don't know what you're going to put it on. The mini Crown Royal bags are from Adrian and Jim. Washington State. Yeah. And then the other ones were from Heather. And then I just. Maybe Paddles can have some. Paddles you can have some. Yes there's plenty now. Thank you. You couldn't have them in the beginning. Because I didn't know if I'd get more. And then I just got a card from Ashley. So sometimes I just get cards. Which is absolutely nice too. And I read them. And I thank you. And shout you termites out.

[00:07:41] A couple termites made their own shirts. And came to the show in Bogota. Yeah. That's what I was told. I couldn't see. Because it was dark. Felt safe though. I don't know. Half the people had masks on. Half didn't. You know. Yeah. I don't know what's going on out there. Because I have some big shows coming up. And if the bad termites are going to get us all in the trouble box again. I'm going to be really upset. And I'm going to be stuck with a shitload of t-shirts that say. Do you have any ranch? Okay. Yeah.

[00:08:10] Are they here yet? Oh Labor Day weekend. Okay great. All right. So what are we eating? All right. I'm going to tell you why I already got desperate and opened these. As you know. You cheated. I did cheat. Lay's are my favorite pages. Ruffles second though. Jalapeno Ranch. Just I'm doing the Lord's work saving you people money. Let me tell you what. Nice. They're great. Yeah. They taste a little bit like sour cream and onion. But they have a little kick.

[00:08:40] I like them. Thumbs up. A termite sent me. I know that's loud and irritating. I know that's loud and irritating. I know. Two ranches. Waterburgers. Jalapeno Ranch. I know. I still haven't been to one in my whole life. No I was going to go with Vic Henley. Another friend of mine who died. But I don't know. I think maybe we got drunk or something. I don't know. We didn't. It was the one in Corpus Christi.

[00:09:10] Oh it's already on there. And then I got this one too. The Twisted Ranch. Which is where? From where? St. Louis. Now I. Well I don't really even like. This is Buffalo. Garlic smash Buffalo ranch. I know I don't really like garlic. So that being said. I will try it anyway. Because I'm here to do work for you people. The Water. Now me and Vic were going to go. Corpus Christi I think is the mothership. Or was it Galveston? I don't know.

[00:09:42] Wow. Nice. It was really good. Yeah. The Whataburger one. A plus. You got to want hot though. Yeah. If you want regular ranch. And the garlic smash Buffalo. Wow. That's really good. And I hate garlic. Wow. How do you hate garlic? I don't know. I just don't like it. Ruins things. Wow. That's really really good. So if you see it.

[00:10:11] Twisted ranch garlic smash Buffalo. Highly recommend it. Jalapeno ranch. If you're in the mood for something hot. From Whataburger. Good for Whataburger. I'll have to try and get there out on the road. If the road continues. I hope so. Because we've sold so many tickets. Up next is Boston. Two shows in Boston at the Wilbur. Kelly will be doing those shows too. And Foxwoods. The casino. Love it there. One show there. That's in a couple weeks. And then the Ryman in Nashville.

[00:10:41] I mean it's 2,300 people. I don't know. I know I'm the safest one in the place. In a selfish, selfish manner. I'm the only one on stage. And if the opener came on stage during my act. I would be a little. There better be something you got to say. That's all I'm saying. Why the fuck are you out here? So I don't know. All right. Let's move on. But there's more. I got more termite stuff too. I just don't want to bore you guys with it.

[00:11:11] But a little bit every week. So if you've already sent something. And it's not here yet. It's probably here. There's something I've got to do. Moving on. Oh my God. This is so great. But first of all. We have an update. Not really an update. It's queen news. But it's not really a queen. It's a friend of a queen. Oh. We're expanding. Just this one time. Because it's also an update. Christine Mitvey. Who? Other Fleetwood Mac person.

[00:11:40] Stevie Nicks is. Right. I went to a Stevie Nicks one time in Vegas. And thankfully there were these really into it gay guys in front of me. Well, kind of in my row. But just a little ahead. Because some high roller person who had got free tickets. First of all. I heard her go. Now was this girl in Stevie. Was this girl in Fleetwood Mac? And I thought, oh lady. How do you not know? And you just came here? This is the problem sometimes with the high roller tickets. Like they'll just go to anything because they got a free ticket.

[00:12:11] And Stevie came out. And we all went crazy. And she, the lady, got up and tapped the guy on the shoulder. And said, could you please sit down? And he goes, ma'am, I have been the president of the Stevie Nicks fan club since the Wild Heart album. Circa whatever, 91. I spent a thousand dollars to get here and be here. If you think I'm sitting down, you're thinking wrong. And I was like, yeah! You do it!

[00:12:40] And him and his boyfriend stood the whole time. And I'm like, good for you too. Don't let this lady intimidate you. But Christine McVie, I always laughed because even, I've seen Fleetwood Mac a thousand times. And like Stevie and Lindsay are twirling and fighting. And she's screaming at him, I'll follow you down. Christine McVie always looks like she's at a sound check. It's just sort of like, I say you love me. Don't stop thinking about my brother.

[00:13:09] Anyway, Christine. Now, Christine is older than the rest of the gang. I think she's 78. Which then I try to picture my mom. Like, Vic, we're going on a world tour. Going on a world tour. Make sure you have enough contacts, okay? I know those are two weekers. Let's get it going. Get Dad's blood pressure medicine. You're all going. Yeah, she sold, here's the song she sold. Like she wrote, say you love me, little lies. I love little lies. Don't stop, overplayed.

[00:13:39] But I used to like it. You make love and fun. Think about me. Save me. I mean, she's got a lot going on. And she sold everything. I know there were the tax breaks on this. But I don't know. I was always taught the biggest mistake we could ever make was selling the rights to our stuff. But maybe when you're 78, you don't give a shit. And if you don't have any kids or whatever, who are you going to give it to anyway, I guess? Is there a line of thinking? I don't know.

[00:14:09] So that's just that. That was like a side queen. Not a real queen. A side queen. But it was also updating all the old people that are dumping their stuff. But see, they're going to look back someday and go, that wasn't enough. It wasn't enough money. Especially Christine McVie. She's got a million more than that. Just when you think she's like the sleeper cell on that one. She's got more hits than I can't even think of. Ah, queen news? Yep. Queen Dolly? Yeah. She never stops. No one.

[00:14:38] How great is this? Dolly Parton named a Forbes 2021 list of richest, America's richest self-made women. How great. Yep. Nice. There you go, America. You can come right out of them smoky mountains, get your ass onto Nashville, make something out of yourself. Come on. Of the newcomers added to the list this year was country icon Dolly Parton clocking in at $350 million. That's how much she's worth. Wow. And that's not counting the million she gives away.

[00:15:05] A million to find out the Moderna vaccine and her imagination library. I mean, she had a good quote one time, though, when she's like, as long as I got a bunch, I got a bunch. And if I give away a bunch, I still got a bunch. I'm like, right. And it's fun. It's fun to be able to do. I think anyway. Um, uh, and this is pretty cool. In a year when most of the music industry slowed down, the country singer and co-owner of Amusement Park Dollywood was busier than ever.

[00:15:35] She wrote a song that inspired her experience during the pandemic, released her first holiday album in 30 years. I did not know that. I did. Did I already say that on the show? I need to go get that. Well, it's not the holidays yet. No, you need to get it. And starred in a Netflix film, Christmas on the Square. Boy, I tried because I love Dolly, but I could not make it through. I didn't know. Just the hair and makeup. I don't notice hair and makeup unless it's appalling. And they had her dressed up like a hobo. But she really looked like Cindy Lauper looked like in the 80s. It was just clothes that were cut.

[00:16:04] Like it was terrible. I didn't make it through that. Arguably, arguably her most important contribution, a $1 million donation that helped fund Moderna's coronavirus research. They added, um, Forbes added their seventh annual list of American self-regulated women was bolstered by a soaring stock market, a flurry of IPOs, which lifted the fortunes of these

[00:16:26] 100 entrepreneurs, executives, and entertainers by 31% to a combined $118 billion. Number one on the list for the fourth consecutive year is roofing supply firm ABC's co-founder Diane Hendricks, whose fortune rose to an estimated $11 billion. Roofing? Roofing. Wow. Never heard this lady's name in my life. This is the great way to be rich. Yeah.

[00:16:55] Because if you're Oprah rich and famous, now you can't just go live normally. Everything's going to be a thing because you're too famous. But like, if you're this lady, I mean, she could be my UPS person. I wouldn't even know. Nobody knows Diane Hendricks, not the general public. And she's worth $11. So you can still scoot around. Well, they know now. Authors, too. They always have the good route on fame. Like John Grisham could walk in here and wouldn't know who the fuck he was. But if he needs to be John Grisham, he can be.

[00:17:27] Let's see. While the attraction lost month, Hollywood lost months of revenue at first. Once it reopened in June 2020, it limited capacity. And with the addition of hundreds of hand sanitizer stations, it became a go-to tourist attraction for the travelers in the region who wanted an outdoor vacation without the risk of flying. The drive-to staycation market is on fire. Ah! As it's been since last year. I have never been to Dollywood. I don't really want to. I love Dolly. But I'm sure it's fun. We're for a family.

[00:17:56] But I just picture it being hot. It's always hot. And I don't. There used to be a place in Missouri. Well, it's still there. Silver Dollar City in Missouri by Branson. And it was just like they would do. There was a lot of people doing things that we don't do anymore. Like there'd be a lady teaching you how to churn butter. I'm like, the leather guy. You want a belt? You want me to make you a belt? I'm like, no, I don't. And they didn't have many rides. They had like four or five. Six Flags was like a million times better.

[00:18:25] This was time traveling. Like, hey, let's pretend it's 1840 and I'll make you a belt and some butter. More Dolly news. This is crazy, too. Does this woman ever sleep? No. I know. She's probably like Clinton. I've always been kind of jealous of those people. They're like, I only need five hours of sleep at night. And then people. Right. Like, really? I need eight. Ten is excellent. Dolly Parton teams up with James Patterson on her first novel.

[00:18:54] Lady never stop. Here she comes again. Yeah, James Patterson. I thought he only wrote crime thrillers because my mom reads them all. She goes to the library. My mom still does that. She's a lady. Yeah. I'm not paying $27 for a book. I can go get it up there. Oh, my God. Country music star Dolly Parton has started it. We know what she's done. She's teamed up with writer James Patterson to pen Run, Rose, Run. But you got to say it like that. Run, Rose, Run.

[00:19:23] Which was fittingly set in Tennessee and tells the story of a singer who moves to Nashville hoping to make it big. Parton was born in Pittman, Tennessee. She was born in Pittman, Tennessee. And in 1946 moved to Nashville. Oh, she was born in 1946 and moved to Nashville in 1964 right after finishing high school. Her literary debut hit shelves in March. I can't be more excited. She also announced a new CD is being released in conjunction with the book. And it's based on the story's characters and their experiences. I mean, I just don't.

[00:19:53] I don't know how she does it. Good for James Patterson, too. Wow. He's been numb. He's won all kinds. He's had 19 consecutive New York Times bestsellers. Yeah, he's just churning it out. Good for him. Good for you, as Rocky LaForte would say. Good for you, Dolly. Good for you. Okay. That's all the news out of the ladies. I'm going to have to get more into it, but I do have a Brittany update. Update! Yes!

[00:20:20] Well, there's an employee, a housekeeper or something, saying that she smacked the phone out of her hand. Yeah. I didn't get into it enough. I will for the next week. But it's just... And then Brittany posted some more topless things. Like, I still think she should be free, but she's not helping herself. That's crazy. She's mad at it. But just till this is over. You know, the next date is September 29th. I heard it on headline news or some shit.

[00:20:50] Right in time for your birthday. Right in time for my birthday. Yeah. Update! Woo! Oh, this is a good one. Remember El Menchil? We all learned about El Menchil. He's El Chapo, who's in prison. He's El Chapo's protege. But he's much more elusive. And he didn't... Like El Chapo's kids got very braggadocious. And they were taking too many pictures and posting them on Instagram. And eventually that's how he got caught.

[00:21:19] Because they forgot to turn off their location while they're eating breakfast with Papa Chapo. Papa Chapo. So this is what's going on in Mexico. One of Mexico's most powerful drug cartels has threatened a prominent Mexican news anchor in a video message. In a video posted on Monday, a masked man claiming to be the leader of the Yulisco New Generation cartel, CJNG, threatens to track down and, quote, get Melino... Let me see if I can say this right. Melino. TV anchor.

[00:21:49] I can't say her name. Urestes is her last name. For her coverage of the cartel. He doesn't like her coverage of it. Yeah. She regularly covers cartel violence and the stealth-styled civilian militias formed to defend communities against organized crime in her nightly newscast. In the video, six armed men surround a masked man who claims to be the cartel leader. Nemiso Cervantes, also known as El Mencho.

[00:22:17] As a leader of the New Generation cartel, I'm directly addressing this lady. The only thing I say to you is that you need to be balanced. Balance. Not to lean on one side. Don't mess with businesses that aren't yours. I assure you that if you continue talking about me, wherever you are, I will get you. And I will make you eat your words, even if they accuse me of femicide because you don't know me.

[00:22:44] On her primetime show, the anchor said she'd entered into a federal witness program. No shit. In the wake of the scope. In the wake of the threat. The scope of which isn't clear. She also issued thanks to the support she said she received in the wake of the video. Our work will always stick to the truth and to inform you of reality in a country like ours. She went on to give her support to all the journalists, blah, blah, blah. So, like, this country, we're such pansies. You know, people are writing to news anchors. You look fat in that shirt.

[00:23:11] Like, you know, I think you're being one-sided. This poor lady had to go with it. She has a ruthless. El Mencho's way meaner than El Chapo, so they say. I mean, I don't know any of these people. But you are being, they're not kidding. They make good on their threats. Like, now how long has this lady got to disappear for? Ever. Yeah. Long memories. I mean, it is just, wow.

[00:23:42] There was a little bit more to it. But basically, they're just, it's crazy. Now, in this country, we're so, we're such pansies. Like, everybody's whining about, well, I don't like what you put on Twitter. How about this lady sitting at home going, fuck El Mencho's after me. El Mencho's coming for me. Because he doesn't think I was doing fair and balanced. What do you want me to say? This cartel, that cartel, you're all doing bad things. Everybody knows it. Update.

[00:24:12] Banksy confirmed he was behind the new artwork in Suffolk and Norfolk. Oh my God. So you guys have to go on Instagram. And I know some of you aren't on it. But you don't even have to actually be on it. If it's a famous person, you can just Google it and it'll come up anyway. So he has a video of himself. You don't ever see him. But he's in a van that looks like it's super old. And it's him running around doing painting. But I don't know how someone doesn't notice unless he's doing it at night. But the video is not at night. It's like a three minute video. It's great.

[00:24:41] So yeah, he confirmed that it's him. Cool. In a video on Instagram account, the artist is seen driving around in a camper van, stopping in various locations to work on the creations while wearing a hoodie to conceal his identity. Yeah. But still, if I saw your face, I'd know. Okay. Is it a white guy? Is it? Who? What? Well, especially if they're doing your house. Right on the side of your own building. Update.

[00:25:10] What's going on, Grand Prairie, Texas? You still scared of that, Cobra? You should be. Because it's still loose. No way! Yeah. Wait till you hear this. West and a butt. Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt. This is why I do like social media sometimes. For all of its shitty parts, sometimes it's really funny. West African band in Cobra, missing and on the loose, is in Texas, makes its debut on Twitter. Yep, the Cobra has its own Twitter account. And it's corny, but some of it's funny.

[00:25:39] Even though on many social media, on social media, many are cheering on the venomous cobra's escape, authorities warn that a bite from the West African banded cobra can be fatal if not treated immediately. Yeah? Fuck, yeah. Or how about the heart attack I'm going to have when I see it? It doesn't even need to bite me. Yeah. I know. And then there's reptile people that go, you don't need to be a friend. He's just dancing. So somebody created a... It's at Cobra Grand, if you want to follow it on Twitter, Grand Prairie Cobra.

[00:26:09] Like, here's one that he tweeted. My favorite author has always been William Snakespear. It's stupid, but it's funny. Hashtag Team Cobra. The snake, which can deliver... Just what it says in his bio, just a cobra visiting and seeing the sights of Grand Prairie, North Texas. There's all kinds of... The snake was reported missing. We know that by that guy.

[00:26:39] Anyway, but then the snake's owner, Trey Matt, doesn't believe the public is in any danger. Really, Trey? Yeah. Why do you... Why? Why? Here's why. He said that he thinks the snake is dead. Do ya? Why would it be dead? And he contacted immediately authorities after realizing the snake was missing because he wanted the community to feel safe. Well, clearly you would think that we perceive that we're in danger or you wouldn't care if we're safe. I mean, it's good you called. We should know. But why think it's dead?

[00:27:08] All it needs to do is eat a mouse or something and live for another... Snakes can live for a long time after one meal. I've seen the movie... Or any of you old enough to remember, there was a movie like in the 70s. It was just called... It was all S's. All S's. And it was about some snake thing. I don't know. My parents shouldn't have let me watch it. Because then for... Well, even to this day, I won't get in the bathtub until it's full. I have to turn the water off because I'm afraid a snake's going to come out. 1973 horror film.

[00:27:37] I was eight. Somehow I watched it. Strother Martin. Strother Martin. I don't even know who that is. Come on. Wow. You can't watch it anyway. It's not available anymore? Nobody cares. He wasn't supposed to have the snake where he had it anyway. You can see it on Amazon. Can you? Maybe I'll go watch it again. I swear to God, I think... No, I was only eight or seven or something. But I believe there was a scene in there where there was a lady in a bathtub and the water's

[00:28:07] running and a snake came out. And then that's why... Well, they're in toilets all the time on Twitter. Come on. It's all true. Update. Suck it up. Paddles. The cobra? No. Oh. Update! Yay! All right. You're going to hate it. But you're going to have to listen to it. No. Don't do it. Then close your own ears. No. No.

[00:28:36] Judge may unseal some mental health records in the Elizabeth Holmes case. No! Yeah. Shh. Get a hold of yourself. A federal judge in the former Theranos CEO is considering whether to unseal documents. Details about her psychological evaluation as part of a media request to make public portions of her case. Now, here's what she's going to do. I did not know this. I wondered what her defense was going to be. Are you going to the trial?

[00:29:05] I would love to go to the trial. No, I'm going to listen to the dropout thing. This is what she's going to try. She's going to try to blame the boyfriend, Balwani. That was her boyfriend then. She has a baby with somebody else. Not this guy. In an interview with CNBC, the former Wall Street Journal reporter who broke the Theranos scandal,

[00:29:31] Jim Carreyrou, said that Holmes' defense strategy may be to blame her ex-boyfriend. A large part of her defense now looks to be blaming Sonny, that's his first name, and basically saying to the jury that Sonny held her in his psychological grip. Oh no, you were way crazy before Sonny. As soon as you hear a lady talking like this and it doesn't matter, you're like, what's up, psycho? You know? Like, I know that ain't your voice. Stop. What are you doing? Oh, here's what we're going to need. How to get blood drops out of people.

[00:30:00] Her defense plans on making the case that he was the older boyfriend, 19 years older, who was really the puppeteer here. Oh, I don't think so. Especially if you've seen Sonny in action. Sonny's not the leader here. And that she was the puppet. Wrong. And obviously they're going to try it out, a psychologist to help make that case. We'll find out. I know, but I didn't never thought of that. Did that's going to be your strategy? You're going to, are you going to, you're going to say you did it, but you're going to

[00:30:29] admit guilt and then blame it on him? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I don't think that's going to work. So many, so many updates. Oh my God. Love this one. Cause I said it was going to happen. Sometimes it's fun to be right. Tim Tebow released by the Jaguars ending tight, tight end experience. Now a lot of people go, why, why do you care? First of all, I don't like Tim Tebow cause he brings up religion.

[00:30:59] And then he says he doesn't want to talk about religion in the interviews. Well, then you need to stop painting Bible quotes on your face because people are going to go, Hey, what's that on your face? Especially Catholics. Cause I don't know those numbers. John 18, four, nine. What the, what is that? What does that, what does that mean? Lewis wouldn't know. He's Jewish. He don't know. But, uh, I don't, Tim, I told you, he always says that he prays to God that, you know, he can be this professional athlete.

[00:31:27] Clearly God has said, no, you refuse to listen over and over and over. We've tried multiple sports. Uh, God has your calls marked as spam. You're painting my ass. I told you no. And he's still trying, but here's the thing that makes me mad. This is a spot someone else could have gotten to try. Some young person that has worked their ass off to get to this level and missed it by one. And why'd you miss the opportunity? Because Tim took it, you know, when he sold a shitload of jerseys.

[00:31:56] So I'm sure the Jaguars are happy about that. Cause isn't it always about the money? Probably. It wasn't a great camp for Tebow to say the least, but things truly went awry for him in the preseason matchup against the Cleveland Browns. When one of his attempted blocks went viral. Now I went and looked it up cause I hadn't seen it. But I mean, it would be like, you know what it'd be like? We would be like me doing it and pretending like, it's like I'm in the mix and I'm doing it.

[00:32:24] And then I go boom, but I don't really do nothing cause I don't want to get hurt. And it, yeah, it was, yeah. If you haven't had a chance. Um, yeah, he still sold the most jerseys. They'll probably still sell them in Florida. God knows they love the Florida folks love him because of the college career, which, you know, he was great in college, but college is very, very different. Um, yeah, college is very over. Google how old he is. He's gotta be like 30. He is an, he's an older turtle for sure.

[00:32:53] For, for sports. Yes. I mean, not in real life. He's not old. He's 34. Yeah. Stop it. His wife is 26. His wife is 26. I know they make Christian jewelry. I saw it on Instagram. Update. So many updates this week. The murder hornets are back. No. The state of Washington, please take cover. This is no joke.

[00:33:22] The thing is they don't hurt people and we've gone over this, but I won't read the whole thing. Um, but a report was submitted, uh, by a Whatcom County resident on August 11th. They confirmed the report as an Asian, Asian giant hornet murder hornet. There's the report included a photograph of an Asian giant hornet attacking a paper wasp nest in rural East area of Blaine about two miles from where the, where WSDA eradicated

[00:33:49] the first giant Asian hornet nest in the United States last October. But here's what you're supposed to do. If you have paper wasp nests on your property and live in the area, keep an eye on them and report any Asian giant hornet you see. Please note the directions they, direction they fly off to as well. Okay. Well, I can't do directions. So I'd just be like, it went left. I don't, from where I was standing, it went left. There's the, you decide.

[00:34:19] I don't know. I can only tell North, South, East, West, if I'm looking at the arch in St. Louis. And then I know that's East over there. But I need a landmark. Because when I first started driving downtown as a kid, my dad would go, now you're going to head North on Van Ryn and then you're going to go left or you're going to go East on Martin Luther King. I'm like, stop, stop, redo, stop. He doesn't understand how I can't understand. I go, I do understand it if I see the arch. Because then I know. Right. That way is East. That way is East.

[00:34:48] And this way is West. But without a landmark, if I'm in the middle of a bunch of buildings, I don't know. But that's what you're supposed to do, you guys. If you, because here's what, this is so crazy what they do. I've already said this, I'm sure, but it's a re, re, um, they destroy honeybee hives. And we do need the bees. A few hornets can just drive a hive in a matter of hours. The hornets enter a, quote, slaughter phase. Yeah. Where they kill the bees by decapitating them.

[00:35:17] They then defend the hive as their own, taking the brood to feed their own. Oh, God. Oh. They'll come into colonies and they will decapitate the bees at the hive. They can decimate an entire colony. University of Tennessee entomologist Jennifer so-and-so said. Yeah. So, you guys in Washington, you're, you know, you're the last line of defense. If it gets out of Washington, we're putting that, that's on you.

[00:35:47] That's on you. That's on you. And you know what? You're going to feel bad if all the bees are gone and we don't have flowers. And, you know, the whole chain continues, or at least what they'd say. I didn't pay attention to science. Update. See, I have so many updates. This is just a piece of advice. And what do we all remember? However, I am not a financial advisor. I am a lady with Whataburger, Jalapeno Ranch, and a Tan Lines New Jersey Proud beer. That beer's really good.

[00:36:16] And I love the can. That's why I picked it. Because I'm a sucker for cans. I'm the lady they try to market to. And there's a picture of me in the background in their boardroom and going, what lady, what will this, what will this lady buy? I don't know. This is just if you want to think about it. Oh, no. No. You know what I mean? This is a flying taxi company. No. Yep. It's up and running. Okay. It's called Joby Aviation. I'm going to buy some stock. It goes public.

[00:36:44] Tooting itself, touting itself as Uber of the air. Okay. Just saying. Maybe you might want to look into it. Made its debut Wednesday as a publicly traded company on the New York Stock Exchange, surging over 25% after the opening price of $10.62. So, see, it's not even that expensive. And for all of my super old friends who I cannot explain Bitcoin to one more time without them going, I give them, you want a short explanation or a long one? No, tell me the whole story. Okay.

[00:37:14] And then I'm done. They go, I still don't get it. Okay. Well, then we're, that's fine. Maybe you need a different teacher. I suck. Or maybe you're just not going to get it. And that's okay, too. But this is an alternative. If you don't want to go for Bitcoin, how about Joby? What makes Joby's air taxis better than traditional helicopters? They're electric and they're quieter. Otherwise, they accomplish the exact same thing as a helicopter that might carry four passengers and one pilot.

[00:37:41] You can go, oh, TSA free, too. Yeah. That's exciting. Trips of 150 miles or less. I don't know. Just go check it out. That's just a little tip. A little tip that I'm going to go look. I haven't bought it yet, but I'm going to go look because there's a few of them. And then there was this other article that you might want to consider. So this one, I think it does the vertical takeoff and landing. Like instead of, and it doesn't run as a car.

[00:38:09] It can't then go like a car. Right. I don't know. You don't need to. Oh my God. That's a news one. I can't do that. This one is so funny. I love it. I love it when people who put up with a lot of shit just won't do it anymore. That's why I love the show Snapped. But these women put up with a ton of shit until one day they just don't. Okay.

[00:38:36] A hundred years ago, we, I did a story on here about the dollar stores, whether it's dollar general, family dollar, whatever. They don't treat their employees. Well, they don't pay enough. They're super dangerous. That's the one I did about the Dane, the danger of them because a lot of them are in areas where there's no other stores, not the country ones. I'm never afraid of in those, but in the city one, sometimes I'm like, Oh no, this doesn't look real safe. This is in Nebraska though.

[00:39:02] So it's not like we're in, you know, a city with high or state with high crime. Family dollar employees at Nebraska store walk off job site, low pay and long shifts. Lincoln, which is the college town. I've been there a million times. I always have fun there. A family dollar reopened Monday after being forced to close when the entire staff fed over fed up over poor pay management, long hours, walked out all of them, which is probably

[00:39:31] only two, which is part of their complaints, which is understandable. They left a sign on the door. The assistant manager, Brianna Fowler, the store's only cashier left a farewell note. We all quit. Sorry for the inconvenience. She, um, the problem started three months ago, four months ago when the store lost all of its cashiers and its other assistant managers due to alleged issues with the manager.

[00:40:01] The working conditions were so bad because it was a never ended cycle of trying to play catch up. We had five employees max at all times. You can't run a whole store with five employees. We couldn't keep cashiers higher because they only made $10 an hour, $10 an hour. And you know how many, everybody always goes, well, those jobs are supposed to be for teenagers. What? Every industry job? There's no employees anywhere anymore. It's crazy. Even at the Borgata, I felt so bad for the girl at the coffee shop. There were two of them. That was it.

[00:40:29] There's a whole casino of people trying to get coffee at the same exact time. And she, they were just mean to her. And I thought, I walk out. I don't have, I don't have the constitution to deal with this. But yeah, they were only supposed to work up to 20 hours a week. They had them working 35 to 40. After Fowler's manager quit last week, she said she was left working 11 hour shifts, seven days a week.

[00:40:56] On top of that, Fowler, who's a mother of two, claimed that the air conditioning kept breaking and the bathroom hadn't been working for the past week, making her long shifts even more unbearable. Yes. Because you can't leave the store. What are you supposed to do? Just go out back? Like, so Dollar Tree owns Family Dollar. And they confirmed that the store finally had reopened, although they declined to comment. This is, this is just terrible. Yeah. Well, you know what, you guys?

[00:41:26] Yes. You have to pay $10 an hour. It's terrible. No wonder. And then on top of it, they don't have a toilet. I mean, come on, people. Who do you got to get a hold of to get the toilet fixed? People, I like it when people just go, no, I'm done. I won't do it. Because eventually it's going to make them pay you correctly or pay you more. It's happening out there on the road. I know, I won't say which hotels, but I know some are offering a lot more because some chains

[00:41:56] that I frequent, they're offering more because they can't keep anybody. And then they all say, anybody's sitting at home on unemployment. A lot of them found other gigs. Lewis said a shitload of people in New York, the restaurant people, went to the construction, any kind of construction gig they could get because that was open all through COVID. That's cool. And they probably won't come back. No. It's a better job. Yeah. This update. It's just a spirit, the airline.

[00:42:26] Oh, no. Don't get on a plane that on the plane they've painted bear fare. That's just some advice from me as a lady who flies every week. I know it's tempting if you're young and you don't have a lot of money, you look at the fare and go, fuck yeah. But think... Yeah. They canceled over 2,000 flights last week. Oh, my God. Epic meltdown. Causing some pilots to fly empty planes around the country while flight attendants were left stranded for days.

[00:42:53] If you can track it, if you can't track it and see it in the IT system where your crew members are going, then how are you supposed to schedule them to move anywhere? One flight attendant who was stranded in the Northeast for four days. It's always like being lost in space. Oh, my God. One pilot said Spirit's operational issues came down to the airline's lack of investment in infrastructure, which he said is evidenced by staffing shortages, antiquated phone lines. Don't even get me started on the phone. And then I feel really bad in airports sometimes because they'll be like those red phones.

[00:43:23] And the rest of us, you know, I'm on the Delta app. And you can just reschedule yourself on another flight. But, like, my parents would walk over and pick up that phone. Yeah. Stay in there. Vicki, you want to go get us some Cokes? I'll stay on hold. No, the gal said she'd be right back. Nobody's answering that phone. You guys, those are trick phones. Those are tricks. Don't do it. They're trying to run an airline of 167 airplanes on infrastructure that was designed for 50.

[00:43:53] Yeah. I don't. I wouldn't do it. I'd take a train first. The employees requested anonymity to speak freely about the situation. Oh, wow. They weren't getting enough sleep either. Some Spirit crew members flew more than the flight time maximum outlined within their employment contracts. The FAA mandates the pilots must have at least eight hours of rest within a 24-hour period. Most airlines have stricter policies due to union negotiations.

[00:44:22] Everybody, the pilots were still flying, which is nice of them. They probably could have just said, screw it. Yeah. The pilot told the insider that he was assigned a plane to Boston. Two flight attendants were missing, causing the flight to be canceled. A few minutes later, he walked by six flight attendants eating dinner in an airport restaurant who told him they were stranded with nowhere to go. They could have gone. They probably would have gone. They had been contacting the company all day and received little guidance.

[00:44:51] Can you imagine if you're a flight attendant and, like, just nobody's telling you what to do? You're just hanging out in the Boston airport. Oh, fuck. I don't know. Nobody will answer. Guess I'm staying in Boston. He then flew an empty plane to Boston, that pilot. Oh, my God. Yeah, he said he felt terrible because he saw the people waiting to go, and he knew it's 10 o'clock at night, and we're canceling a flight because we're missing two flight attendants. Not because the engines fell off the plane. Not because somebody got sick. Because Spirit mismanaged their staff for that flight.

[00:45:19] Last week, the CEO guy apologized. There's definitely some angry people. Right now, all I can say is we're very sorry for what happened. Yeah, your infrastructure's for 50, and you've got 167 planes. How many mechanics do you have then? Probably not enough. Right? Yep. That's all for updates. That's all for updates. Moving on to news. I don't know what to do first. Okay.

[00:45:48] This is a fun one because some of these are not very fun, but I like the stories. Sotheby's is going to auction 11 Picasso paintings with links to Steve Wynn at the Bellagio. Now, if you'd ever gone to Vegas in the last, say, decade, you could go in and see these Picassos, which I thought was very nice if Steve Wynn. Yeah. They have a museum.

[00:46:15] They have a museum.

[00:46:42] Steve Wynn actually walked by our comedians table. And then there was a manager guy with us, not a comedy manager, like a casino person. And Steve Wynn, there was a man that had his arm locked in Steve's arm. And they're walking by. And I go, oh. I go, I didn't know Steve Wynn was gay. And the manager guy, like, laughed and fell off his chair. He goes, he's not gay, Kathleen. He's going blind. I go, oh. Oh, my God. I go, he has a seeing eye person?

[00:47:11] He has a guide human? He said, well, he's not blind, blind, but he needs help. And I thought, oh, the irony. You built the most beautiful place in the world and you can't hardly see it. And then he has all this artwork he can't see right. Eleven Picassos to be sold have been long displayed at the Picasso-themed restaurant and museum at the Bellagio Hotel and Casino, which I always thought was weird to have it in the restaurant part, too. Like, just think grease and stuff. I don't think that's a good idea, but whatever. I'm not in charge of art.

[00:47:42] So, on October 23rd sale, any of you guys got some millions of dollars sitting around? Like, many, many millions hanging out that you got nothing to do with? Here's your opportunity to own a Picasso. By shutting the Picassos, the casino operator aims to make room and money to expand its contemporary art collection. Boo. Boo. The Picassos were originally picked out by Mr. Wynn, whom the industry sidelined

[00:48:09] after allegations of sexual misconduct emerged against him three years ago, which he has denied. It isn't clear whether Mr. Wynn's ties to the Picassos will help or hurt the artwork sale prices. Nobody cares. No. No. Art people. No. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. The company said it isn't seeking to distance itself from Mr. Wynn by selling off the Picassos, but it is aware that the sale could serve as a referendum on his taste. Oh.

[00:48:39] No. And on to collectors' willingness to buy art affiliated with the Shun mogul. No. Art people don't give a shit. No. The devil himself could have owned it, and they'd be like, 42 million! He'll still be yelling stuff up. Fire! Fire! Yeah. It's expected to bring in at least 70 million. I think it's going to bring in a lot more than that. Yeah. A lot more. So, this is a case. This next one.

[00:49:05] I always say, people that always say, well, you know, karma will make up for all this. Karma will come, whether it's some jackass person or whatever. And karma won't happen. And then I'm like, well, you know what karma needs? Karma needs to work a little faster. Karma. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's not very often you get to see it actually come round, round, round. Right. Well, here you go. Uh-oh. Yep.

[00:49:28] Now, this guy I'm going to tell you about was the bane of a lot of progressive Catholics' life, especially in St. Louis, where he was in charge of us for a while. Just a mean, mean old man. American Cardinal Raymond Burke, who staunch conservatives in the Catholic Church view as something of an anti-Pope Frank. He hates Frank. Frank demoted him. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:49:58] You bet your ass he did. Good for him. He's fighting for his life on a ventilator in a Wisconsin hospital after contracting what he often referred to as the Wuhan virus. Great. He was on a vacation from Rome where he lives. Now, hold on. This is how, ugh, the 73-year-old Cardinal has shown himself to be a COVID denier, publicly scoffing at Italy's strict lockdown measures during the height of the pandemic, and was even

[00:50:26] seen strolling around Rome mask-free when face coverings were mandated outside. He was the subject of a brief Italian news report that showcased Americans defying Italy's anti-COVID measures, telling the newspaper that closing Catholic churches and social distancing was ungodly. Wow. That's, I mean, yeah. Yeah. He's been one of Pope Francis's harshest critics, teaming up with Steve Bannon. Steve Bannon. So he's getting political, too. You're not supposed to be doing that on either side. Nope. You're not supposed to.

[00:50:54] The Catholic Church went apeshit with that, though, even putting it in bulletins and stuff, which is totally what you're not supposed to be doing. You shouldn't be getting your tax break if you're going to do that. Anyway, he was condemning Francis on issues as immigration and homosexuality. He also was also tapped to be the spiritual director of a failed venture by Steve Bannon to develop an alt-right academy in an ancient monastery at the foothills of Rome, which has been curtailed by the Italian government.

[00:51:24] Pope Benedict, you know, Benny and the Jets, still alive, the conservative one, himself a conservative, tapped Burke to be a cardinal in 2010, but Francis almost immediately demoted him from his high-ranking Vatican position as the head of Justice Department in 2014. He has since rallied conservatives to question the legitimacy of Francis's papacy, oh, stop, through the publication of dubia or doubts about what the Pope has preached. It just goes on.

[00:51:54] And he got all political. Yeah. He also pushed the platform to put... He also used his platform to push the conspiracy theories that the vaccines have a potential... The vaccines provide a potential vector for a kind of microchip needs to be placed under the skin of every person. Are you talking about the mark of the beast? Oh. Are we talking about the mark of the beast? So that at any moment, he or she can be controlled by this state.

[00:52:24] Oh, stop. If you're so worried about getting tracked, then you better throw out your phone. We're all being tracked. Who's going to sort through that pile of information? We can't even get TSA right. No. Yeah. He scoffed at continuing COVID precautions and scorned vaccine mandates. It's not known if he was vaccinated before contracting the virus, which would have helped him comply with Italy's increasingly harsh regulations that require vaccination proof. Yeah. I don't know how he got... I don't know that you can get on a plane in Italy.

[00:52:55] Can you get into the... I guess you can get into this country without a proof of vaccine. Clearly, he did. Yeah. Or did he was on some special secret Catholic jet? I don't know if he flew commercially. Did he fly commercially with COVID? Secret Catholic. God. He was admitted to the hospital with COVID-19, and he's being assisted by a ventilator. Doctors are encouraged. He asked us all to pray the rosary for him. Come on. Yet. I will not do it. No, I'll do it. I would not do it.

[00:53:24] I will not do it. I will not do it. I won't, because every single minute that guy's alive, the Catholic Church goes backwards. Now, maybe some people want it to. I don't know. But, you know, we're not going to get it right when we got these old farts. Super old turtles. Moving on. I really just felt... Thanks. Well, a lot of people won't even care about a Catholic news break right there, but I've been waiting for this guy to get his karma since the 90s.

[00:53:54] Wow. Because he was a cardinal in St. Louis, and he was just mean and cranky and crabby, and every time he tried to do something new or progressive, we're not doing that. You all need to go to St. Louis. Yeah. He doesn't sound like that. That sounded like Hartman. Pretty bad. Cartman. Yeah. Okay. This... This is crazy. Whatever you think about the NRA, okay?

[00:54:23] My dad was a member for years, and I said, why'd you quit? He goes, because I got one of their magazines, and it was showing assault rifles. And I'm like, what are we doing? Are we going to war? And I said, okay. Because he hunted. My dad hunted. But anyway, I don't really... I think the NRA was taking money from Russia, funneling it, and then... Because they don't make enough... Even if you have sponsors, Remington and the gun people, the membership is like 20 bucks. Yeah. I don't know where the money's coming from, if you just follow the money.

[00:54:52] But this is even... This is separate of that. And I only will pronounce his name like this. The head of the NRA, who still is the head, Wayne Lafayette. But I will only say it like that. Wayne Lafayette. And his wife, Susan... Sure, she's a treat. Secretly shipped animal trophies from Botswana to the U.S. And received thousands of dollars of taxidermy work for free.

[00:55:18] The episode represents a rare instance in which the gun group's embattled chief executive is captured on paper. You're not going to believe what... This... This... Forget about guns. This just makes me think you're like Ed Gein, the guy who made lamps out of human skin. Like you've crossed... They're crossing some lines here into psychopaths. Like there's something... Oh my God.

[00:55:45] He hunted elephants and turned them into stools? Stools? Like a stool that you would put in your house? And a trash can. Okay. But here's the thing. They were doing all this illegally. And they were getting it all for free. And then they're using secret names and shit to have it sent back to the United States. None of... Half of it you wouldn't even be able to do it. But the woman, Susan, the wife... I'll just read to you. It's kind of...

[00:56:14] It's a little bit long, but it's worth it. In early fall of 2013, an export company in Botswana prepared a shipment of animal parts for Wayne... Blah, blah, blah. The head of the national reflux and his wife, Susan, one of the business managers emailed the couple a list of trophies from their recent hunt and asked them to confirm it's accurate. One cape buffalo skull, two sheets of elephant skin, two elephant ears, four elephant tusks, and four front elephant feet.

[00:56:44] Once the inventory was confirmed... Oh, my God. Yeah. The email stated, we'll be able to start dipping and packing... The dipping and packing process. Ten days later, Susan wrote back with a request. The shipment should have no clear links to the... To the... To the... She told the shipping... Yeah. She told the shipping company to use the name of American Taxidermist as the cosignee for the items. And further requested that the company not use our names anywhere if at all possible.

[00:57:12] She noted that the couple also expected to receive, along with elephant trophies, an assortment of skulls and skins from warthogs, impalas, a zebra, and a hyena. What are you doing with all this? Like... Wow. I don't want an elephant's front paw as my trash can. No. It's bizarre.

[00:57:36] Once the animal parts arrived in the United States, the taxidermists would turn them into decorations for the couple's home in Virginia. And they could prepare the elephant skins so they could make personal accessories like handbags. The la... The la... Felt secrecy when needed. The email show because of a public uproar over an episode on the hunting show... Never heard of this. Under Wild Skies in which host Tony Macris had fatally shot an elephant. The NRA sponsored the program.

[00:58:05] The couple feared that the potential blowback of the details of their Botswana hunt became public. Footage of their safari, which was filmed for Under the Wild Skies and recently published by The Trace and The New Yorker, shown that Wayne had struggled to kill an elephant at close range. Wow. He can't even... They're probably holding the elephant and go, just shoot it. Right. And he still can't do it. While Susan felled hers with a single shot and cut off its tail in jubilation. Come on. Oh. You...

[00:58:34] This is getting close to just killing people. Like... Yeah, it's awful. I mean, I understand hunting. I understand you want to stuff a deer head or your moose head and put it on a wall. This is a different level. It's nasty. Yeah. Yeah. Susan leveraged the LaPierre status to secretly ship animal trophies from their safari to the United States with a couple received free taxidermy work.

[00:59:00] New York Attorney General, who has regulatory over the NRA, is currently seeking to dissolve the nonprofit for a range of alleged abuses. Yeah, that's the thing if you're in the NRA. Aren't you pissed he's spending all this money on himself? Right. I mean, come on. If you're really an NRA person and you want it to be what it's supposed to be, this ain't it. They say that gifts from contractors can't exceed $250.

[00:59:26] The shipping and taxidermy cost thousands and provided no benefit to the NRA, only to the LaPierre. And the complaint James' office alleges that the LaPierre also received improper benefits related to big game hunting trips in countries including Tanzania. There, I said it right. South Africa and Argentina. The Attorney General declined. Wow. A hyena became a rug.

[00:59:54] So I don't know how much trouble you get in for this, but I mean, who takes an elephant foot and makes it a trash can? Who would even think of it? I mean, first you'd have to see it somewhere. It's the kind of shit you'd see in a weird movie. So she put it all in writing. Don't tell anybody you did this. Don't put it in our name. Here's where you're going to mail it. We don't want to be charged.

[01:00:20] So maybe the LaPierre will finally get in some trouble for all these illegal things they're doing. Wayne, and he's not young. Google his age. Would you pass? He's 71. Oh, I thought he was older. Gosh, it seems like he's older. I have to go to a wedding next weekend. Me and my one cousin were joking that the Madigan's pretty good at having super spreader events.

[01:00:49] It's going to be 300 of us. I'm excited because it's my nephew, but I just, I don't know. We'll see. My parents are like, do you think we should go? No! I don't. But I know you will. Keep your mask on, jackalope. That's all I got for you. Let's see what else do I got. Oh my God, this is adorable. This one's too hard. I'm not going to do it. And then I have one.

[01:01:19] My last one's really good. This is really cute though. There's been a study done. Apes say hello and goodbye and judge each other's politeness. Apes. Yeah. It's a good little story. It's a happy story. Good. Apes say hello and goodbye and use politeness just like humans. Simeons use their equivalent of good manners to start and finish interactions like ground and play.

[01:01:49] Researches observe apes which started and finished interactions like they have gestures including touching each other, holding hands, or gazing at each other. Their way of greeting one another included touching each other. They already said that. The teams behind the amazing discovery were comparable, say these are comparable to humans starting a conversation with eye contact and a hello before wrapping up with, okay, sounds good, or goodbye. So the apes are like, okay, sounds good. I'll see you here in the jungle next Tuesday. No problem.

[01:02:19] They added that this behavior shows joint commitment when people share intentions and work together on a common goal and develop a mutual sense of obligation. This challenge is a long-held claim that quality is unique to humanity, that this quality is unique to humanity. See, it's not. Uh-huh. After witnessing two bonobos who were interrupted while grooming but then used gestures to resume the action with each other,

[01:02:48] the colleagues became curious to learn more about the joint commitment. They analyzed 1,242 interactions within a group of bonobos and chimpanzees and zoos, and they found that the apes did, in fact, frequently gaze and communicate each other to start nan interactions. So that's a happy little story, right? Yeah, I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that they say, okay, sounds good. Yeah. Peace out. Peace out. All right.

[01:03:19] This little story before my last one, because I've been waiting on this, too. I've been waiting on this for years. It's delicious. I haven't drank enough, but it's fresh and zesty. Says it on the can. Yay. Scotland, boom, may pursue money laundering investigation into Trump's golf courses. Whoa.

[01:03:46] Now, let's take politics aside for a moment, because I don't usually like to talk about politics in this, but I loved golf. My brother played in college. My parents still play golf. Everybody golfs, so I know a lot about golf. And when Trumpy started buying some of the world's most expensive exclusive golf course, it didn't really make any sense, because it was in the economic downturn, when the whole financial world collapsed. And golf courses were bankrupt.

[01:04:14] But he didn't have the money for this. And they asked Eric, the dumber one, Golf Digest, I believe it was, or whatever, Golf Digest, probably. There's two of them. I can't get them mixed up. But they said, where are you guys getting all this money to buy these magnificent golf courses all around the world? And Eric, on a recorder, said, oh, well, we get all our money from the Russians. Nice. Nice. Now, back then, nobody thought anything about it, because Donald wasn't running for president or nothing like that.

[01:04:44] But I remember my brother sending me the article going, here's how he's affording it. So then the Russians can take that money, and now it's laundered, and now it's in a society with a real economy. And they're doing it through him. That is my opinion. But Eric also said that. I mean, his own kid said it. So Scotland could pursue a McMafia investigation into former U.S. President Donald Trump's Scottish golf courses after a judge heard that there was real and substantial concerns about the

[01:05:13] Trump organization and its finances. Now, if I was the owner of some of these golf courses, whoever it was at the time, I mean, shit, the bank, to buy a house, the bank asked me to prove where I got the money I had in my account. And like some of them, I'm like, I don't know, it's probably my first communion money. I don't know. My grandma gave me a Honda on my 21st birthday. Like, how far? But how come nobody did this to begin with? Why didn't anybody check? Where is this man getting this money?

[01:05:41] How many are we being laundered through? But this judge is saying, OK, opposition lawmakers in the Scottish Parliament and campaigners have been pushing since January for an investigation and how Trump funded the all cash purchases. Really? Turnberry? Cash? Yeah, Turnberry is famous, very famous if you don't. And Trump International Golf Links in Aberdeenshire.

[01:06:05] Turnberry, the more expensive resort, cost more than $886 million in 2014. And Trump claimed to have spent another $150 million refurbishing it. Campaigners have argued that the purchases were suspicious because Trump previously financed his large sale purchases with debt before launching a $400 million cash spending spree to purchase both resorts.

[01:06:34] Where did you get it? I can't believe I get scrutinized. Well, here's $1,200 it's not accounted for. I don't know. If I got one, I got a video, I got a royal, yeah, I got four aces on video poker with a kicker. But nobody checked into this. This judge is granting, I grant permission for the petition to proceed without condition or restriction. The appeal was brought by the campaign group Avaz.

[01:07:01] This case is likely to be heard this year later in Scotland's High Court. She and then they said the criminal investigations into the Trump Organization have helped move this forward. Eric Trump, the one who spoke to Golf Digest, whatever, he said that the allegations made by the people bringing this up, this guy, his last name's Harvey, called him a national embarrassment. We'll see. We'll see, Eric. We'll see in the end.

[01:07:30] Because I just can't believe that normal people, if you go in to try to buy a house, that bank's going to want to know where every nickel came from ever since the financial collapse. And, yeah, before that they never even cared. But, yeah. Well, watch out, Trumpy. This is crazy. I did not know. This is embarrassing. Well, it's not embarrassing, but kind of. I never knew if the Trojan horse was a real thing or not. I did not take much Greek mythology in school. My brother is into it. He took shitloads.

[01:08:00] I didn't even thought about it. Well, I didn't know if it was like Noah's Ark. Like, well, it's in a story. But was it real? Well, it's in Kentucky now. Noah's Ark is in Kentucky. And everybody knows that. We got proof. So I didn't know if the Trojan horse was like just part of a story as an example or if they really did build this giant wooden horse. So, okay. I Wikipedia'd it.

[01:08:27] The Trojan horse was a wooden horse used by the Greeks during the Trojan War to enter the city of Troy and win the war. And I had heard they put soldiers in the horse. But I didn't know, was it really this giant, you know, how much of it's exact or just made up? You have to question the whole story. No. I mean, I know there was a war, but I didn't know if they built a giant. There's no Trojan horse in Homer's Iliad with the poem ending before the war concluded.

[01:08:58] But in a poem by Virgil, after a fruitless ten-year siege, the Greeks, at the behest of Odessus, constructed a huge wooden horse and hid a select force of men inside of it, including Odessus himself. The Greeks pretended to sail away. When the Trojans pulled the horse into their city as a victory trophy, that night the Greece force crept out of the horse and opened the gates for the rest of the Greek army, which had sailed back under cover of night. So they were tricksters.

[01:09:28] The Greeks entered the city and destroyed the city of Troy, ending noir. Metaphorically, when we know what it means, a Trojan horse. But so anyway, as a kid, I never thought about it very hard. But I can't call out of this. Why isn't this on the nightly news? I don't understand why we don't talk about things that actually matter. Exactly. Or that are super cool. So, archaeologists claim they've discovered the Trojan horse in Turkey. That's exactly where it kind of should be around there.

[01:09:57] Turkish archaeologists claim they found what they believe are pieces of the Trojan horse. According to a report by Newsit, Turkish archaeologists evacuating the site of the historical city of Troy on the hills of Hisarlik have unearthed a large wooden structure. Historians and archaeologists think what they have discovered are the remains of the legendary Trojan horse. It's awesome. Yeah, the evacuations brought to light dozens of fur planks and beams up to 49 feet long.

[01:10:27] Yeah. Yeah, the remnants were assembled in strange form, which led the experts to suspect they belonged to the Trojan horse. The wooden structure was inside the walls of the ancient city of Troy. So maybe they did do it exactly like they said. The Trojan horse is considered by most to have been a mythical structure. That's kind of what I thought. Or at least that's what I was taught. The horse is commonly associated with Homer's epic poems, the Iliad and the Odyssey. The classic poems tell the story of the Trojan War.

[01:10:57] We know all that. We know that. The structure that was found fits the description by Virgil, Augustus, and Smyrnius. I don't know who that guy is. I guess he was in charge of Smyrna. Vodka. Yeah, mm-hmm. So archaeologists have started to consider the fact that the discovery is indeed the remains of the Trojan horse.

[01:11:24] Another discovery supports the archaeologists' claims is a damaged bronze plate with the inscription, For their return home, the Greeks dedicate this offering to Athena. Smyrnius refers to the particular plate in his poem, Post-Homeric. I don't know. My brother would know. That plate was also found on the site. The two archaeologists leading the excavation, Boston University professors, good for you, two Americans. Christine, yay, old lady.

[01:11:53] And Chris Wilson say that they have a high level of confidence the destructor is indeed linked to the legendary horse. They say that all the tests performed up to now have confirmed their theory. The carbon dating test and other analysis is detected that the wooden pieces and other artifacts are from 12th or 11th centuries B.C. This matches the dates cited for the Trojan War by many historians. The assembly of the work also matches the description by many sources. I don't want to sound overconfident, but I'm pretty starting with the real thing. How cool is that?

[01:12:23] I know. I like it. Why do I have to be on weird websites to find this shit out? And then I think maybe it's not even true because I'm on a weird website. But come on, it's Boston University. Yeah. Hmm. How was your fantasy draft? The fantasy draft this year. Oh, my God. Who'd you get? Well, my friend Kathy, the one who picked All Saints last year. She's like, she was joking, but she's like, I'm drafting Drew Brees. I go, why not Archie Manning? He's alive.

[01:12:52] Yeah, he's alive, Kath. Why don't you try that? And her first pick, Kamala, what's his name? Kamara. Kamara. New Orleans running out. Well, you pick all your people, and then it gives you a score. It decides. The computer decides. I picked the people. Like, Lewis chickened out, and he let the computer pick his people. I'm like, no. He did attend, though, and was texting live things during the draft. There's only like eight of us.

[01:13:22] Who did Ron pick? Ron? Who did you pick? A lot of cowboys. I know. You guys don't understand the concept of privacy. When you're rooting on the weekend, you have two different lives. You have your life of your team. I am only fueled by hate on Sundays because I'm from St. Louis, and we lost the Rams and the Cardinals, so I am rooting for who's ever playing either one of those. How about Titans? You like the Titans? I like the Titans.

[01:13:48] I like Green Bay, but Aaron is a baby, and I don't know. He's just a whiny little thing, and he's so good, and I want it so badly for Green Bay because it's a wonderful town. Wisconsin's fun. It's, you know, and he pulls all this crap all summer. Just quit if you want to quit, or what is it you want? I never understood what he actually wanted. He was mad because they hired that other quarterback person without his permission. He's right. Yeah, I know.

[01:14:19] I love the Chiefs because they're Missouri. I got some good Chiefs. The computer gave me a B. Yeah. Who's your quarterback? Well, this league, you can have a lot of quarterbacks. What? Yeah. There's no, this isn't serious, but it's a lot more fun because if your team sucks, you still have a chance every week to fix it. Like, my brother-in-law's in a serious one, and if he already knows this, he's losing by mid-October. It's probably not going to change. And then you kind of lose interest.

[01:14:48] And this one, you can just monkey around with everything. And I got first round. So I'm Brady. Everybody made fun of me last year. He's getting old. I don't care. I don't care if he's 70. And I'm not a Patriots fan per se, but I know greatness when I see it. Because he's not a Patriot anymore. Tom's got at least two more good seasons, I feel. He made me so many points last year.

[01:15:19] Tom brought it. And Louis blew it every week. He's like, you can't believe you took him. You can't believe you fucking took time, baby. I said, Louis, I'm not in this for love and affection. I'm in this to win. And he's a winner. And I have Tua Tagetolioliolio. And I know I don't particularly like him, but he did score a lot of points last year. So I have three quarterbacks.

[01:15:49] Josh Allen. He'll be good. Yeah, Josh Allen. And you can have Patrick Mahomes. Patrick Mahomes, because one of the idiots traded him day one. She won a more wide receiver. God. I got to go check out Kathy's team, because without picking all the things, God knows what she really did. It's all to you, all you fantasy people. She had a backup defense. But like this league, like Matt, my brother-in-law, one of my brother-in-laws, they have like a lot.

[01:16:17] They all have to report to a bar. It's a live draft. Like it is crazy intense. And then the loser, I think, has to host a giant party. Or maybe it's the winner. I don't know. But I know that my sister gets put in charge of that, and then she's pissed off. It's bad enough I'm going to put up a decision. Now I have to host a goddamn party for all these people. I said, I don't think they're that hard to host. Just get two Yetis full of beer and leave the room. You're done. It's not that hard.

[01:16:45] But good luck preseason football starting. Good luck to all. One final shout out. See, because Colton Wong is just doing so good in Milwaukee. And I'm not going to let go of it. And I'm still hiding Fred Bird. It's one of the worst decisions the St. Louis Cardinals have made in my adult lifetime. And I'm not the only one who thinks that anymore. Because initially he was just doing okay. And Lou goes, see, I don't think he's doing it. I'm like, no. He's new up there. He has to make some friends. He's not comfortable.

[01:17:14] He's Hawaiian. He's probably not used to Wisconsin weather yet. But once he gets the hang of it, though, and he's just doing great. And the Brewers are in first place. Cardinals 11 games up. Orioles, I'm just going to say this because I send it to Lou a lot. But I haven't looked in like four days. I got to see it. They're so bad. So Baltimore Orioles. Oh, it almost came up. Walmart Orioles.

[01:17:42] The Orioles next game shouldn't be played is what that should say. The Orioles have quit. They are 36 games out of first place. Dead last, 36 games. They have won 38 games. They have lost 83. How do you continue? I'd fake COVID. I'd say I have it till. I have COVID and I check with my doctor. I'm going to have it till November. Sorry. God damn.

[01:18:12] Yeah, that's Lou's team right there for you. But Lewis is one of those people that roots for two teams all the time. So because he grew up in Baltimore, but then he's old enough to remember the Colts leaving Baltimore. So then he became a Washington Redskins at the time. Now football club fan. So he has two football teams, two baseball teams. It's kind of bullshit. But I will say on baseball, he kind of sticks closer to the Orioles. But if the Nationals are good, then he's going to be all in on that, which is bullshit.

[01:18:42] You can't have two teams. That's what I say. Yachty is going to stay a Cardinal. And I think for at least our talk of him one more year, because he shouldn't go out like this in such a shitty year. You should go get Colton back. By the way, Yachty tried to get Colton out and he didn't. And Yachty gets everybody out. And then he signed the base for him to my little Hawaiian brother. He signed the base. All right. That's enough sports talk. I know a lot of you don't care about sports. A lot of people.

[01:19:10] I'm now texting East Coast comedian friends because the hurricane is coming and they're not used to that. It's been 32 years. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God. It was so funny because when I was in Atlantic City, I was saying to my friend's brother, I'm like, well, if you guys want a wave runner, we were talking about wave runners. He goes, well, sometimes when there's a hurricane, there's just loose ones.

[01:19:35] And so I texted him today and I'm like, hey, funny enough, we were just talking about loose sea doos. You could probably go if you go lasso a couple on Tuesday. They'll be out there. You're good. In the waters off Jersey. All right, termites. Thanks for the stuff. Dogs will be happy. The ranch children will be happy. I'm happy with my kind of oil bags.