Episode 276: The Dry Generation, New Orleans is Sinking, & Dolly Takes On Buc-ee’s

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_02] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. Termites, welcome! Welcome from Queen Stevie, who still doesn't have any road dates up. Let's go Stevie! I don't know what you're doing out there in California, but it's time to get off your 78-year-old ass and get on the road. That's right. Kathleen misses you.

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_02] All the other old people are doing it. It's all the rage now. Don't quit, just keep going. So many things to write, so many things. Let's just start with one. We're drinking a Preds beer from the National Predators, which is an NHL team, because it is the Stanley Cup playoff starting tonight. And then the NBA playoff starting tomorrow night, I believe. Yes, Wednesday night? Wednesday. Whatever. This week. Yeah.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. So tonight, when this airs.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_02] Golden Knights, Vegas, versus Carolina in the hockey. I do love Carolina's emblem a lot, their logo of the hurricane flag. It's very cool. But I do see Vegas winning. They're bigger. There's just something there. My avalanche flamed out, not my avalanche, but my prediction of it. Your prediction. They got hurt. They had too many injuries. And then NBA, I don't know enough to speak on any of it, but watching that 7'4 man on San Antonio is...

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_02] Even the other basketball players look like tiny people compared to him.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_03] Mm-hmm.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_02] And he's a very handsome guy. Usually when you get that big... Wemben... I don't know. I call him Wemby.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_04] Wemby.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. And the French Open is going gangbusters. And my friend, Lorene, huge tennis fan. I'm a casual at best tennis fan. Okay. Just saying, these tennis players are fucking crazy. Yeah. There's a lot going on. I just keep senators shit when they start yelling and hollering or throwing rackets. I'm like, you don't see this in golf. No. Just saying. No. They are bad shit. And they're different crazy. Like, this one's crazy. Like, this one's got a temper.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_02] This one's feelings got hurt. This one is just mean and a machine. And the one guy, I feel so sorry for him. He had to go to the bathroom. I've always wondered what happened in tennis. Like, golf, they always have secret little bathrooms you can run if you... Secret toilets. They always have a golf cart. There's little secret bathrooms everywhere. Or they have a golf cart that will just take you right to a secret bathroom. This guy was screaming at the chair ump that he was going to shit in his pants. I know.

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_04] No.

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_02] And the chair up is like, you know, you have to finish the point. I'm like, what? This is not the rules. And he's like, I am going to shit in my pants. But with the French accent, it kind of sounded sexy. But he's screaming he has diarrhea. Look, I believe him. Nobody wants to scream on global television, I have diarrhea, and I'm going to shit my pants. It's a little embarrassing.

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_04] And he's wearing white shorts.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, white shorts, and you're going to shit on a clay court. You're just going to... Oh, wow! I know! They didn't let him go until after he finished the point. Gross. I would have served it and then just ran away and let him have the point. You go ahead. Anyway. So, it's a Preds beer in honor of I don't have a Carolina Hurricane beer and I don't have a Vegas beer. So, there you go. We'll make that happen. There's a hockey beer. What are we tasting here before we get to it? Doritos late night.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_02] Wait. How many artists and people are thinking of this shit? Powders. Loaded taco. Same new low price.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_04] It's for the children.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_02] I think it's for the kids. I can already tell you. Jacksonville, Tormacera. Nice. Jacksonville, Florida. Oh. Oh, your eyes are crossing. That has a lot of...

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_04] Everything.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_02] Pizza, like, taste. But you wouldn't expect from a taco. No, I would give this whole bag to my nephew, Xavier. And he would be like, thanks. Yeah, and he would eat the whole thing. They're good. I think they're for the children. I think they're for the kids. He's one of the children. Or maybe if you're totally hammered. Dill. Pickle cashews. Oh. Bainbridge, New York. Termite Michelle. Let's see. Platinum is the name of that brand.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_02] Nice. Pretty good. Yeah. Better than the shit snacks mix Southwest throws at your face.

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_04] Everything is.

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. Yeah. I'm saving these for the plane.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_04] Pickle is the thing.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_02] I know. Pickle's all the rage. Yeah. Well, I found pickle back to J-Mo 100 years ago in a comedy club. So good. Mm-hmm. Last one. Limited edition Hawaiian barbecue chips from Des Moines Termites. Craig and Vanessa. Hawaiian barbecue. Look at Des Moines getting fancy. Look at this Pringles can. They don't usually change. That was, this one. Yeah.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_04] It's a pretty color.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_02] Wow. All right. I don't know what, how, let me, let me cleanse my palate. Excuse me. Let's give them a fair chance. Welcome. Um, I don't know what Hawaiian barbecue is supposed to taste like. Probably sweet.

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_04] Very pineapple-y.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_02] Mm.

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, surprising.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_02] Excellent.

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_04] Nice.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_02] Wow.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_01] Okay.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_02] Well, yeah. Eight plus. All right. If you see these, get them. Lion barbecue.

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_03] It's an endorsement. Well, yeah.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_02] And it's a really weird color can. I've never seen aqua for Pringles. You'll lose them.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_04] You will never lose them on the boat.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_02] No.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_04] No. Those are great.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_02] Really good. And I have to take the boat out today. So, maybe I'll put those in the boat. And the can will keep them good.

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_04] Go for a boat ride.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_02] I am, because I promised my friends I'd take them for a boat ride tomorrow, and I should probably go see if my boat fucking works. That's probably a good idea.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_04] I haven't had it out. You haven't been home a lot.

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_02] No, I haven't. So, today is the day. Cool. Upcoming shows. June 26th and 27th. Knoxville. July 18th. Selbyville. July 25th. Niagara Falls. August 8th. Portland, Maine. August 21 and 22. My brother's birthday. Borgata. Atlantic City. Fun. Mm-hmm. These are all fun gigs. September 11th and 12th. San Antonio, Austin. Cool. Boom. Can't wait. I hope that movie's at the Elmo.

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_02] September 18 and 19. Tarrytown and Hershey. There we go. Not much on the weekend review. I will go shout out to my friend Dax. This made me laugh. He was golfing in Phoenix with just some lady. Like, he's got a sign. You know, you just, here, go play with these people. And, um, they were talking about the desert. He keeps sending me pictures of rattlesnakes on the course, too. Oh, God. And he's like, we moved from this tee box. Yeah. It was like five foot long. It was a huge rattlesnake.

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_02] But the, I don't know, he was playing with some lady named Dee Dee. And she said, well, you know what? Do you know Kathleen Madigan? And he was like, yeah. Like, she's one of my good friends. Mm-hmm. And so they sent the video. So I sent one back. Oh, fine. Yeah. That was downtown on a rooftop bar with one of my friends, Jesse. A wonderful, wonderful man from Oklahoma. Like a pioneer. Yeah. Yeah. I always get it confused. And I feel terrible. Like, Stormy Warren and those Oklahoma people. Some are cowboys.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_02] They're very specific about their college. Oklahoma State. And the other ones are Sooners.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_01] Mm-hmm.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_02] Which one, where's Reba from? Tulsa?

[00:07:53] No.

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_04] No. Norman. Norman. Norman is OSU. It's Oklahoma. All right. Wait. University of Oklahoma. I don't know. The red one. Right. Ricky Fowler. All the people that I know are cowboy ones. Ricky's cowboy.

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_02] That's Stillwater. Yeah, I can honestly say I've never been to Stillwater. I have. It's fun. Is it? Oh. Fun college town. More fun than Tulsa with the largest praying hands statue.

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_01] Mm-hmm.

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_02] Eskimo Joes. Where did I tour the Oral Roberts University? Google where that is. I think that's in Tulsa.

[00:08:28] Where? What?

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_02] Oral Roberts. He's an old preacher man. He's long dead. Mm-hmm. He's long dead, but he had. But it's in Tulsa. And did he build. The big praying hands. The big praying hands, yeah. The big praying hands, because Jesus or somebody told him to build 600 feet high.

[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_04] Private. Founded in 1963.

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_02] Wow.

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_02] It's only two years older than me.

[00:08:50] Yep.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_04] Undergrad tuition is $34,000. What? Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. 98%. I'm sorry. 98.9% acceptance rate.

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_02] Okay. Well, there you go.

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_04] If you're that 1%, whoo.

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_02] Before we call Holly Bobby, we're going to get through a few things. Sometimes I love the team email. Everybody's so smart. I'm very proud that everybody who emails, for the most part, is smart and funny. This is from, this is about FIFA. So the World Cup. Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. So my brother is waiting for his tickets that he bought in Atlanta, two of them.

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_02] It was supposed to be Ireland, then they lost, so now he doesn't want to go because it's two countries he doesn't care about. And then he wants to go to Dallas instead and take the youngest kid, Kevin. And he bought them off the FIFA website.

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_02] They are not in his Apple wallet yet, so he can't, everybody was supposed to get their tickets on Friday.

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_04] Last week, right?

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_02] The whole fucking country. Yep. Everybody who bought a ticket, they were supposed to end up in your Apple wallet. Okay. Because I said to Pat, maybe your wallet's just messed up. Did you check, is this the thing thing, or is it just you? Right. And he said, no. He goes, it's all my friends, blah, blah, blah. He looked it up online. As of yesterday, I don't know, he's golfing, so I don't know what the current, as of today, I'm not going to bother him, but still no tickets. So he can't resell tickets he doesn't have. Right.

[00:10:25] [SPEAKER_02] They don't want, this isn't what I think. Okay. FIFA, they're such gangsters. I don't know who's worse. I don't know who's worse. The international, the IOC, Olympic Committee, the NFL, or FIFA. Okay. I'm going to say the Olympic Committee is probably the most corrupt.

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_02] And just gangster, gangster. Well, what I think is these shitty matches, they don't want all of you flooding the market with the tickets you no longer want that you paid too much for, blah, blah, blah. So they're waiting and waiting and waiting until you've made, like, Patrick has two plane tickets to Dallas, but he has no hotel. He has nothing. So that's what we think is going on.

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_03] That's hard, yep.

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_02] It's just gangster bullshit. Just give me the goddamn tickets. I paid you. You know? Right. I just, well, this person, this is funny. This is from Miss Martha. Okay. Big fan, Missouri person. Kansas City is about to get absolutely destroyed by soccer fans from around the world. Sending you some basic info about the World Cup in Kansas City, because I can't wait to hear you make jokes about it. Um, uh, Kansas City, part one. Okay.

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_02] The unlikely capital of football, AKA soccer. And I refuse to say pitch. I don't know when we change it from soccer field to pitch, but I'm not going along with it. No. That is a Euro word. You keep it in Europe. Right. It's, it's a soccer field for Christ's sake. Anyway. Um, yeah. Uh, Kansas City is hosting six World Cup matches, including a quarterfinal on July 11th. It's also hosting four national team base camps.

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_02] So the teams that come around the world are being, your base camps are in different cities. Like Kansas City's got four, Seattle's got some, Dallas, and then we fly you respectively around to wherever your games are. Well, um, here's the teams that are in Kansas City. Okay. Argentina.

[00:12:22] [SPEAKER_04] Oh my God.

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_02] England, the Netherlands and Algeria.

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_02] They all chose Kansas City deliberately knowing its central location means they can save for the entire tournament rather than hopping between cities. Very smart. Yep. And you're probably going to have the least amount of fly time. So good idea. Each match venue is reachable from Kansas City in under four hours. Well thought out. They're up to a hundred thousand, uh, Argentine fans are expected. Fans known for traveling in enormous singing, dancing, fireworks, launching mobs that turn

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_02] an entire city center into open air carnivals. Totally. On June 15th at 6 p.m. the night before, uh, Argentina's opener against Algeria, thousands will gather at the Mill Creek foundation fountain for a bander. Rizzo. Wow. Banderozo. A mass flag waving rally. The kind Argentine fans have staged at the world cup for decades. And let's not forget the, the Dutch orange faithful.

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_02] They are arriving as a sea of bright orange and are amongst the most joyful and well traveled sport supporters in world football. England's fans will arrive in considerable numbers also though. Their reputation is somewhat more volatile.

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_03] Um, yeah, totally.

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_02] I mean, there was one world cup. I believe it was a world cup where they banned English fans. I don't know how you do that. You didn't let them buy tickets or whatever. And I was like, you know, you have a drinking problem.

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_01] Right.

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_02] When the world, the world decided you have a drinking problem and went, they're too drunk. They're too rowdy. And that it's, you know, a bazillion super white guys that are sunburnt and drunk. No, no, no. Well, the Dutch people apparently are a little more calmer. Um, here's the problem. A hundred thousand, a hundred thousand fans are coming, but they will not be staying in hotel. The Metro has roughly 36 to 40,000 hotel rooms.

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_02] In total, basic rooms for the night of the match are already over $400 with some Airbnb is listed at thousands per night. No. They, um, then it goes into what they're paying. Here's what they're going to do. They're camping.

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_04] Oh.

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_02] No. At the KOA? Yeah, at the KOA. No! A KOA campsite between Algeria and Argentina-based camps has seen an uptick in international bookings. What they don't know, because these people are from the middle, Kansas City and June is hot, humid, and prone to sudden severe storms. Yeah. And tornadoes. Mm-hmm. Like, this is, we're in it to win it.

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_02] Uh, one, uh, Argentine weather site called it meteorology. I can't say it. Mm-hmm.

[00:15:09] Meteorology.

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_02] Is the most, it's the most dangerous city of the World Cup for weather.

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_01] Okay.

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_02] Um, Kansas City is a lovely Midwestern city of barbecue and restaurants and wide roads. It has never seen anything like what is about to happen. That's funny. Argentina fans are going to love Missouri. Missouri may need a moment.

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_01] Yes. Yes.

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_02] This guy, this is a shorter one. I know that one was long, but I liked it. Um, this is from Robert.

[00:15:37] [SPEAKER_04] Uh. Wait, are you going to go up to Kansas City and just be around all of it?

[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_02] I wouldn't do that. No? No, I'm too old for all that shit. I'd go if I had tickets. If I lived in Kansas City, I would stalk StubHub till the day before. Okay. Because I think things are going to shake out. Today's June 1st or 2nd. We have 10 days.

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_03] Yep.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_02] Let it ride. True. Let it ride. See what falls out. Because the shittier, here's the problem. If you have, uh, Argentina is going to play, say, the Ivory Coast. Uh-huh. They are. Everybody thinks, oh, well, I don't know what, I don't know what they're saying. Their schedule is. But I know that it's Argentina and there's lame teams playing them. That means they're going to, everybody wants to see Messi. Right. They'll play him for a little bit and pull him. If at all. Right. You may not even need to play him. Uh-huh.

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_02] I mean, so until we get to rounds two and three, there's a lot of shit games in round one. They're all fun. Uh-huh. But they're not really competitive. Okay. This guy. Okay. He's a Philly guy, I think. Uh, I already read. You can tell. We entered the lottery for our chance. This is what my brother did. Mm-hmm. You pay 2,000 tickets to pay 2,000 for four tickets to see Ecuador play Ivory Coast and Philly. First of all, you can't pick your seats. I know that.

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_02] That's what I asked Patrick. You pick your area.

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_03] Stop it.

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_02] So it says lower bowl, middle bowl, upper whatever deck, which is a huge area in the stadium. So you have no idea how good or bad your seats are going to be. Say I say the lower bowl. Okay. Well, if I get 101, I'd be right in the middle. Right. You don't want to be in a corner. No. Right. It's just on in. Then it takes some months to send our tickets. Then we had to get parking. Roughly 200 to park a car for a few hours while we watched the game. I'm viewing this as a once-of-a-lifetime one-off thing, so I'm going for it.

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_02] But damn, FIFA makes the Russian mafia look like a bunch of patsies.

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_04] Patsies.

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_02] Patsies. I like it's old school.

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_04] Patsy.

[00:17:34] [SPEAKER_02] This is another data center one. Hold on. I'm going to save that one for next week. One more mail thing. It made me laugh. The Pope is doing 6-7 to impress the kids, and they fucking love it. Really? They get so excited.

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_03] It's a little late, but that's okay.

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_02] He's late. Everybody has said that. A nonsensical Gen Alpha meme has made its way to the head of the Catholic Church. What happened? Pope Leo recently performed the viral 6-7 open palm gesture at least twice, once for a group of thrilled young Catholic kids who taught him how to do it, and again a few days later when he motorcated past a crowd. Can you imagine? Those kids. Oh, my God. I've just seen the videos of, like, in fast food restaurants, and they go completely batshit when the order is 6-7.

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_02] A little queen news that we're going to call Holly Bobby.

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_02] Cher. Cher. Is something coming? Cher posted a mysterious tweet at exactly 9 a.m. This was yesterday. Okay. The scheduled timing and the fact that the tweet was written without capital letters suggest that it's probably the team teasing a new project. Yeah, I don't think. Cher does. She always writes in all caps. She does, yeah. Well, here's the tweet. I said yes to something I usually say no to. It was very sleek.

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_04] Oh. Oh. Maybe she's going to be in the Ryan Murphy thing.

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_02] American Horror Story? Well.

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_04] Who dropped out? We talked about it on the podcast. Or somebody said no.

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_02] I don't think anybody dropped out. Jessica Lange's coming back.

[00:19:13] Oh, she's so good.

[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_02] Sarah Paulson's back. Right. The girl with Down syndrome. Jamie, the actor.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_02] I can't think of her last name. She's back.

[00:19:21] [SPEAKER_04] Cool.

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, I think. What's her face? Oh, gosh. I can't think of. The Voodoo Queen.

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_04] Angela Bissette.

[00:19:29] [SPEAKER_02] She's back. Nice. Yeah.

[00:19:30] Okay.

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_02] Here's a little Dolly Queen update. Her song teller hotel has been delayed. I just saw it last night from the rooftop of Luke Bryan and Jason Aldean share a rooftop. I don't know. You just keep climbing up all these steps.

[00:19:44] [SPEAKER_03] And so does Post. And then I'm outside.

[00:19:46] [SPEAKER_02] And everybody's names are up there. I don't know who fucking owns what. I don't even care. But you could see it's not right. It won't be ready until fall. So, yeah. It's been delayed. I know. I've got a lot going on. It's still making. They're still hiring key people. If you want a job, get on down there. But guess what is opening? Dolly's Tennessee Travel Stop. Boom. She's going up against Buc-ee's. She's doing it. And I think she can win. Cool. Because I do love a Buc-ee's for fun. When does it open?

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_02] It's going to open June 24th. And she's going to have a...

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_04] Guess where you're going to be June 27th.

[00:20:21] [SPEAKER_02] In Knoxville.

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_02] Well, but this is... I don't know where this is. I've got to find out. I think it's around. Oh, it's off I-65.

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_04] Right.

[00:20:31] [SPEAKER_02] Okay.

[00:20:32] [SPEAKER_04] Okay. We're going to go.

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_02] One hour south of Nashville. And one hour northwest of Huntsville.

[00:20:38] Oh.

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_02] So nowhere near Knoxville. No. That's why I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm not going to be going that way. She's going to have live entertainment. Top that, Buc-ee's.

[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_04] That's cool.

[00:20:50] [SPEAKER_02] Well, I wish she would have... She's going to have a fresh cup of Dolly's Cup of Ambition Coffee. A full-service sit-down cafe and restaurant. Offerings from Dolly Barbecue. You know, why doesn't anybody do ice cream? Old-timey, like Baskin-Robbins. I now don't even have a sweet tooth. But sometimes when I'm at Buc-ee's, because it's hot. Yeah. It's usually summer. And I'm like, oh, an ice cream would be great.

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_04] Because nobody wants their kids to take it in the car. It's very messy.

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_02] Live music is at the heart of this. You can try to get the gig if you want to work at a gas station and play your music. Why not? There's a place to submit your information, and they'll get to you. Nice. Yeah. So that's exciting for Dolly. I hope she's able to go. All right. Before we get into updates, let's call Holly Bobby. The Holly Bobby. Because I've delayed him by quite a bit.

[00:21:45] [SPEAKER_04] Holly Bobby's very important.

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_02] Well, I told him, I want to understand this Liza Minnelli birthday party.

[00:21:51] What?

[00:21:52] [SPEAKER_01] What are you talking about?

[00:21:53] [SPEAKER_02] I'm not being invited. I just want to know. She's turning 80. They're doing something at Carnegie Hall.

[00:22:00] What's happening?

[00:22:07] [SPEAKER_02] Hello, Bobby. So great to hear from you.

[00:22:13] [SPEAKER_00] Hi, Paddles. Hi, Kathy.

[00:22:15] [SPEAKER_02] Hi, Bobby. Bonjour. Do you have the information for me that I want to know about this Liza Minnelli birthday badge?

[00:22:25] [SPEAKER_00] Yes. Okay. This is what I... I've done some research last night and this morning. Okay. So the book was a hit. And here's some interesting facts. It came out on her birthday. It was number one on the New York Times bestseller list for a few weeks. This is her memoir.

[00:22:39] [SPEAKER_02] This is back in March, right?

[00:22:41] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah. Yeah. Around her birthday. Her birthday's like on the 10th. No, the 12th. And it came out on the 10th. And the book is called Kids, Wait Till You Hear This.

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_02] No.

[00:22:51] [SPEAKER_00] Of course. That's something my grandpa would say.

[00:22:56] [SPEAKER_01] Exactly.

[00:22:56] [SPEAKER_02] It's a very old timey. And all of these people, everybody should take note. If you're going to write a memoir, try to do it before age 75. Right. Right. Right. You can't wait till you're 80. I mean, this sounds like it's doing fine, but you'd have a lot more people if it was 10 years ago.

[00:23:14] [SPEAKER_00] Right. Kathy, here's the distinction which she accomplished with this book. So not only was it number one on the New York Times bestseller list, it was number one on Apple Books and Apple Music. She was number one with all of her old time music and stuff. So she's the first artist to have a number one on Apple Books and the number one in music at the same time. Oh, wow. Liza.

[00:23:37] [SPEAKER_02] Wow. Wow. And so later in June, we're going to have a big party at Carnegie Hall. Is that true?

[00:23:44] [SPEAKER_00] Yes. I think it's tied to the book and like they're, you know, still promoting the book and stuff like that. But it's going to be June 25th. And it's Liza at 80, a celebration in song and dance.

[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_03] Wow.

[00:23:59] [SPEAKER_00] I don't think she'll be dancing. No.

[00:24:02] [SPEAKER_02] They're going to celebrate her.

[00:24:04] [SPEAKER_04] They're going to celebrate her.

[00:24:05] [SPEAKER_02] No, but you know there's 50 gay guys that's going to get weeded down to 20 that are shitting in their pants right now hoping they're the ones. Yep.

[00:24:12] [SPEAKER_03] Yep.

[00:24:14] You, Liza.

[00:24:18] [SPEAKER_03] There's no business like show business.

[00:24:22] [SPEAKER_02] I don't even know. So I love Liza Manley and I hate Broadway. So I just liked her in movies like in Arthur. And then my friend Chuck, who you know, Chuck Martin worked on Arrested Development and said she was wonderful. Oh, that's right. Like she's fun crazy. She's crazy. How would you not be crazy when your mother's Judy Garland? Judy Garland.

[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[00:24:42] [SPEAKER_02] But she, she like knew all of her lines perfectly. She acted great. And then, you know, she's just a batshit fun person. But I'd love to see who shows up. But then you sent me a list. I don't know any of these people. Are they all Broadway people?

[00:24:57] [SPEAKER_00] They're almost, yeah. I mean, you just said you hate Broadway. Yeah, right.

[00:25:02] [SPEAKER_02] But she's been in movies and TV shows. Doesn't she have friends that are famous that aren't Broadway people?

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_00] Well, Candace Bergen is coming. Okay. I think she's the superstar of the evening, you know. And Nicole Fosse, you know, the daughter of Bob Fosse, you know.

[00:25:19] [SPEAKER_02] Well, I forget.

[00:25:21] [SPEAKER_00] Fosse. Jazz. It's raw. He's coming. Susan Stroman. She's a film director. But like, I mean, Kristen Chenoweth is a big name. She's going.

[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_02] That's a big name.

[00:25:31] [SPEAKER_00] Yep.

[00:25:31] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah.

[00:25:32] [SPEAKER_00] We love her. And then the rest are like Broadway people that you probably don't know that have been, you know, that have won Tony Awards.

[00:25:38] [SPEAKER_02] No, I know. There's plenty of talented people. It's just not my thing. Me and Stevie Nicks will remain firm against musicals. I'm not doing it. Stevie hates them too. Totally. Made me feel good because every time I say it, people are like, how can you say that? It's weird. I just don't believe it. You know, I don't know. But, well, that's exciting. Do you have to be invited or can you buy a ticket?

[00:26:01] [SPEAKER_00] No, you can buy tickets. Hey, maybe we should meet up in New York, the three of us, and go see it.

[00:26:06] [SPEAKER_04] Yes. We'll totally drop you off, Holly Bobby.

[00:26:09] [SPEAKER_01] Hey, when I hang up with you both, I'm going to look at tickets and see what to do.

[00:26:14] [SPEAKER_02] I will drop you off and then I will go to the Canucks bar and watch what's left of the Stanley Cup if it's still on. And you could tell me, you could take little secret films on your phone and tell me how wonderful life is.

[00:26:26] [SPEAKER_04] Exactly.

[00:26:27] [SPEAKER_02] I wonder how long, how long is this evening supposed to last?

[00:26:30] [SPEAKER_04] Not long. She has scoliosis. Shut up. That's what it says here. Does it?

[00:26:37] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. She has scoliosis.

[00:26:39] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[00:26:39] [SPEAKER_02] You thought you made that up?

[00:26:40] [SPEAKER_04] No, I don't know anything about her.

[00:26:41] [SPEAKER_02] Well, there's something wrong with her. I mean, she was sideways in a wheelchair, like falling out of it when they were pushing her across the stage.

[00:26:47] [SPEAKER_04] I don't know she has scoliosis. I don't know where it was.

[00:26:50] [SPEAKER_00] It was at the Oscars with Lady Gaga. And Liza said she was pissed afterwards because she thought that they were just rolling her out there, you know, so that she didn't have to walk. And they were going to place her and preset her and then come back to her. And he just rolled her out on the stage.

[00:27:06] [SPEAKER_04] Somebody didn't read their notes. Where's Liza? I don't know.

[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_02] I left her out there. What was I supposed to do?

[00:27:13] [SPEAKER_01] Did you guys cover Queen News yet?

[00:27:16] [SPEAKER_02] We have Cher. Cher tweeted something cryptic about accepting a project that she never normally would. So I don't know what that is, though.

[00:27:25] [SPEAKER_00] Look for that. Okay.

[00:27:26] [SPEAKER_02] Okay. All right. And then Dolly's gas station, her famous truck stop thing's opening June 24th.

[00:27:32] [SPEAKER_00] Oh. Good. You saw that press release. I thought that was cute that she's opening a truck stop.

[00:27:37] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. And it's here, Holly Bobby. Well, it's here. It's only going to be an hour from my house. Come visit. Now, here's the thing. She bought an existing one and then revamped the whole thing. It was called the Tennessee Travel something, something. And she's like going up against Bucky's. But I think she'll win.

[00:27:55] [SPEAKER_00] I think so. I'd stop at Dolly's before Bucky's. And I like Bucky's.

[00:27:59] [SPEAKER_02] Me too. Yeah. Same feeling. Wonderful. Because also, she's going to have live entertainment.

[00:28:05] [SPEAKER_00] Of course she is. Okay. So what you're saying is you can drive an hour to go get Dolly's, truck stop. Yep. See a concert, take a shower, have dinner, and drive home. Yeah. Wonderful.

[00:28:15] [SPEAKER_02] Shower 42. Your shower is ready now. Thank you.

[00:28:20] [SPEAKER_00] It's a wonderful day. That sounds like a fun Saturday.

[00:28:23] [SPEAKER_02] You see that, doesn't it? Let's go get drunk at the gas station. We did it when we were kids. Why can't we do it again? Let's go smoke cigarettes out by a gas pump. See how that goes.

[00:28:34] [SPEAKER_00] So you didn't cover Taylor Swift in her new song?

[00:28:37] [SPEAKER_04] No. No. I know about this, but come on, Holly Bobby.

[00:28:41] [SPEAKER_00] She has a song called I Knew It, I Knew You.

[00:28:44] And it's in Toy Story 5.

[00:28:46] [SPEAKER_04] And it's this theme song to Toy Story 5 coming out in a couple weeks. So good.

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, have we heard it?

[00:28:53] [SPEAKER_00] I haven't heard it. I don't think they've released the track yet. Unreleased.

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_02] Okay. Wasn't she having a little busy summer getting her shit together for a big wedding? She's probably already married.

[00:29:03] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah. She has a big song and a big movie coming out, and then she's getting married.

[00:29:06] [SPEAKER_04] She's marrying a big man. Who does that?

[00:29:08] [SPEAKER_02] Well, who does that? That's that life. Right. You know? I can barely get the boat cover off. I don't know how these people do this shit. Yeah.

[00:29:18] [SPEAKER_00] Another one of our – she's not a queen in your world, but she is a queen in my world. But Madonna has the number one Billboard dance chart song in the country. Have you heard it?

[00:29:28] [SPEAKER_02] No. Have you?

[00:29:29] [SPEAKER_00] Of course I have. He contributed to the ratings.

[00:29:34] [SPEAKER_02] Do you like it?

[00:29:35] [SPEAKER_00] I love it. It's – this is the chorus that keeps playing over and over.

[00:29:41] I feel so free when I'm on the dance floor.

[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_00] I feel so free.

[00:29:49] [SPEAKER_02] I'm going to have to get with Bronson on this. I need to send Bronson down to the Abbey and film it. Is it like – is it dance electronica? That's where she lost me. Yeah. You lose me. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:30:02] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah. Yeah, it is. But it also – it's not kind of old school electronic dance music. You know? It really – I don't know. It really flows. It really hooks me. And, you know, I don't like that either. I don't like that.

[00:30:14] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. We're not dance floor people, Bobby.

[00:30:17] [SPEAKER_00] No, we're not. No. We're not getting on the dance floor. Even if she – even if Madonna says she feels so free, I don't feel free.

[00:30:23] I don't feel free.

[00:30:27] [SPEAKER_02] I don't feel free. At Patrick's – my brother's wedding, one of my aunts came up to me and said, oh, that Elaine from Seinfeld thing you did was hilarious. And I said, I don't know what you're talking about. They thought I was mimicking bad dancing. That was just me dancing. Yeah. I never even saw that episode of Seinfeld. I don't even know what they're talking about. But anyway – It wasn't a compliment. It wasn't a compliment. No, it sure wasn't. No. Horrible. No. Well, she thought I was doing a joke and whatever. Well, I'm happy for Madonna.

[00:30:56] [SPEAKER_02] That's got to feel good at 65 years old or whatever she is.

[00:30:59] [SPEAKER_00] She's – yeah. Yeah. I feel happy for her. And then the album comes out July 3rd. So – and that's got a track with Sabrina Carpenter on it, Bring Your Love. So –

[00:31:10] [SPEAKER_04] Wonderful.

[00:31:10] [SPEAKER_02] We'll see how that goes. Wonderful. These lyrics are mind-bogglingly hard. I feel free on the dance floor. Bring your love. Okay.

[00:31:19] [SPEAKER_04] All the children dance.

[00:31:21] [SPEAKER_01] Yay. It's working for them.

[00:31:24] [SPEAKER_02] Well, it's probably working for the older Abby crowd. Yes. For Madonna. Yeah. Maybe – well, hopefully the young guys will like it too.

[00:31:32] [SPEAKER_00] Okay. So you're going to call Bronson then for reals and tell them to go down to the Abby and shoot you some video?

[00:31:37] [SPEAKER_02] Yes.

[00:31:38] Okay.

[00:31:38] [SPEAKER_02] He's down there. I can't wait to see it. He likes to go – or he doesn't. Sometimes Bronson goes to Puerto Vallarta and then he films the women down there. Well, no. Some of them are drag queens, so they're dudes that are doing Cher. So I get it from two continents from Bronson. I get it.

[00:31:58] [SPEAKER_04] He's an international correspondent.

[00:31:59] [SPEAKER_02] I have international boots on the ground and drag queens. Mm-hmm. And speaking of drag queens, did you see there's a drag queen? I don't know why this baby laughed. So Patagonia, you know, the outdoor – Oh, yeah. There's a drag queen named Patty Gonia. Yep. And they're suing her for $1 for a trademark thing. Stop it. And wait till you see him, her, if you haven't. The outfit, the wig, the makeup.

[00:32:25] [SPEAKER_03] She's beautiful.

[00:32:26] [SPEAKER_02] And she's going to go up against all of Patagonia because she's Patty. Patty Gonia. Yeah. Get it? P-A-T-T-Y.

[00:32:33] [SPEAKER_04] And she's also an activist. Yes.

[00:32:35] [SPEAKER_02] She's an activist, Bob. Mm-hmm. We are not activists. No. But I've seen the outfit.

[00:32:41] [SPEAKER_01] And I saw her too.

[00:32:44] [SPEAKER_02] This is going to raise – this is going to raise her rates everywhere now. Yep. Good for her. Good for her.

[00:32:49] [SPEAKER_00] Good for her. All right. Can I tell you my Porta Vallarta story? Sure. Real quick before I go. Okay. So Mark's old coworkers, an older straight couple, they're from Orange County, California. You know, total South Orange County, suburbia, safe neighborhood, blah, blah, blah, right?

[00:33:08] [SPEAKER_03] Safe.

[00:33:08] [SPEAKER_00] So they decided that they were going to move to Porta Vallarta. Because they felt safer moving to Porta Vallarta.

[00:33:16] Okay.

[00:33:16] [SPEAKER_00] And they're kind of hippy-dippy. So Clark and I are like going, you're going to leave your townhouse in Lake Forest, California to move to Porta Vallarta to feel safer. Two weeks later, that drug lord was killed. Mencho. Mencho. Yes. Your cat's name.

[00:33:37] [SPEAKER_04] Ron called.

[00:33:39] [SPEAKER_00] And that's when they set the whole town on fire.

[00:33:43] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, my God.

[00:33:44] [SPEAKER_00] And they were on lockdown for a week. And Clark texted them and said, are you feeling safe? Slow down in Porta Vallarta. And they didn't text us for a couple days. And they said, I'm sorry. The cell towers were burning.

[00:34:01] [SPEAKER_04] They're burning. Oh, no.

[00:34:04] [SPEAKER_02] I know. It never off-puts people, though. Like that incident happened and it lasted like a week long. And then like, you know, Bronson will be there next Saturday. Like they just keep going back. Like it's like everybody goes, oh, yeah, but that's over there. Yeah. Like it's not happening here.

[00:34:18] [SPEAKER_04] They can't drive here.

[00:34:19] Right.

[00:34:20] [SPEAKER_00] Right. All right. Well, let me know if you go to the Dolly gas station. Okay. All right. We're going to wait for you, Bobby.

[00:34:27] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. I'll wait for you to come this summer. We'll make it an adventure. Sure.

[00:34:31] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah.

[00:34:31] [SPEAKER_02] We'll get drunk at a gas station for old timey's sake.

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_00] Okay. And then I'll check on Liza tickets and come back to you guys. Yeah. Wonderful.

[00:34:38] [SPEAKER_02] I want to see what they're going for.

[00:34:40] Okay.

[00:34:41] [SPEAKER_02] All right. All right. Okay. Talk to you. Bye. Bye, Bobby. Bobby makes me laugh. Bobby's so funny. I know. I am going to tell Bronson, though. Get down there.

[00:34:52] [SPEAKER_04] I've never heard Bobby sing.

[00:34:54] [SPEAKER_02] It's terrible. He's got a pretty good voice. It's all right. He and I don't dance. We sit at the bar. You sway. And watch people. And make fun of people.

[00:35:03] [SPEAKER_04] Judge over martinis. Update.

[00:35:08] [SPEAKER_02] Update. Washington, D.C. You get a baby sphere. Boom. Boom. 7,000 seater. That would be so great. Nice. Because, like, the sphere in Vegas is 17,000 seats, so it's quite large. Yeah. How great would it be to have a baby sphere? Awesome. Well, it's come. Oh, 6,000 seaters are. Yeah. It's building an equally massive entertainment destination at National Harbor, Maryland. Just outside D.C.

[00:35:36] [SPEAKER_02] 6,000 seat immersive venue will feature cutting edge LED technology, live performances, concerts, da, da, da.

[00:35:43] [SPEAKER_03] That's cool.

[00:35:43] [SPEAKER_02] Construction of the venue. It's going to generate 1.5 billion in annual economic impact once operational. Create nearly 5,000 jobs.

[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_04] Nice.

[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_02] Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't say when it's going to be finished, though. Well, just know it's being worked on. That's all you need to know. D.C. Oh, this one's a deep dive in me.

[00:36:09] [SPEAKER_04] You do.

[00:36:10] All right.

[00:36:12] [SPEAKER_04] It's going to break ground in 2027.

[00:36:15] [SPEAKER_02] Okay. So it'll probably take a couple years. Yeah. But so what? You're getting one. Right. I think Nashville might be on the radar for that, too. Yeah.

[00:36:23] [SPEAKER_04] Nice.

[00:36:25] [SPEAKER_02] I went to all the rooftop bars last night with Jesse, and I can see the new stadium from standing on the rooftop bars. It's looking good. It's looking cool. Yeah. There's a lot of glass for a tornado-ridden city. I don't know about all that. They clearly didn't see the Wizard of Oz. Nobody gives a shit.

[00:36:43] [SPEAKER_01] Nope.

[00:36:44] [SPEAKER_02] I have data center updates. So many of them. I'm whittling them down. We're going to do a few each week, so it does become overwhelming. A Kentucky man, proud of this guy. I don't know. His name's Tim, and he's older, 65 or older.

[00:36:59] [SPEAKER_04] Go, Tim.

[00:37:01] [SPEAKER_02] He turned down $8 million multiple times from a data center to refuse to sell his family land. Oh, nice. He owns 250 acres outside of a farmland outside of Maysville, Kentucky, an undisclosed AI company wanted to build a data center on his land. First they offered him four. He declined. Then they offered him eight. He declined. Again, the AI company told Tim to name his price. He wouldn't. The money can't buy happiness, he told his local station. Nice.

[00:37:31] [SPEAKER_02] Good. Good. Individuals need to start. Yay for Tim. Yay for Tim Gosner. I think his name is Gosner. Go Tim. Grocer. Grocer. That's great. New Jersey data center. Okay. There was a chaotic meeting, and they have called to ban all data centers. Now, does that work?

[00:37:50] [SPEAKER_04] In the state?

[00:37:52] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah.

[00:37:52] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:37:53] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know if it works, because in Missouri, we had a little uprising, and they're still fucking building it.

[00:37:59] [SPEAKER_03] Right.

[00:38:00] [SPEAKER_02] And I keep thinking of the lady who was very nice and wrote the email saying that in downtown areas, they're not that loud. That's cool, if that's true. But the videos I am seeing on Instagram, and I don't think they're AI. No. They're normal people filming the noises these things make. Like, your house just lost half its value. Yeah. I'm not sitting. I get mad when my psycho neighbor every Sunday morning mows the goddamn one. There could be tornadoes.

[00:38:29] [SPEAKER_02] Dude, come on. It's Sunday morning. Everybody gets to sleep in or go to church or whatever you're doing. But anyway, I can't imagine living next to this kind of noise, but if they could make those ones in San Francisco noise-free, how come? Maybe somebody knows the answer. How come? Are they big? Are they just a lot bigger?

[00:38:48] [SPEAKER_04] So they're just generating more noise? Nashville's in Davidson County. They had a giant meeting last night about data centers coming in.

[00:38:56] [SPEAKER_02] It doesn't even matter, though. They haven't disclosed why they're aware. We had no meetings about Elon's tunnel. No. And the mayor of Nashville is a Democrat.

[00:39:03] [SPEAKER_04] Right.

[00:39:04] [SPEAKER_02] It's not like he was hooked up, but the governor of Tennessee is more on the Elon page. But it doesn't matter. He just fucking did it. Yep. What am I going to do about it? What did I do? Went down and had drinks on a rooftop bar.

[00:39:19] [SPEAKER_04] Good for me. I'm going to go show Jesse Morgan Wallen's bar.

[00:39:24] [SPEAKER_02] Listen, Elon. I'm going to go get a giant Miller light and stare at drunk girls. Boo. Boo. It's Andover Township. Okay. The township will consider repealing two ordinances tied to potential data center development. Instead, the council will introduce a township-wide ban on data centers during a special meeting. People are starting to rise up.

[00:39:54] [SPEAKER_02] But is it too late? I don't know. I don't know. Does it even matter if we do? They have a recall petition going out in Missouri in that town to get rid of the mayor. Well, you know, it's fine. Okay.

[00:40:10] [SPEAKER_04] But if the contracts are signed, isn't that it?

[00:40:12] [SPEAKER_02] I think that's it. I would think. I don't know. True. All right. We're going to do it. This is a bit of a deep dive. Could hurt your heads a little bit. Okay. But this is why I'm doing the work of the Lord. And by the way, my friend Kay and others have chimed in that Sprite definitely helped their hangover faster. So as Kay said, thank you for doing the work of the Lord. Her hangover was cut in half.

[00:40:37] [SPEAKER_03] Happy Sunday.

[00:40:37] [SPEAKER_02] And it's not, you know, I just read and report back. But Sprite, try it. Now, in more work of the Lord. Verify. Because I think we should know about this, but it's also very taxing to keep reading all this. So I try to dumb it down so you guys don't have to do this.

[00:40:51] [SPEAKER_01] Mm-hmm.

[00:40:52] [SPEAKER_02] This, this may, okay. The first missing scientist, the body of a missing nuclear lab employee has been discovered 11 months after she mysteriously walked out of her home and vanished without a trace.

[00:41:04] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, man.

[00:41:05] [SPEAKER_02] She's 52 years old. She looks 32.

[00:41:07] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:41:08] [SPEAKER_02] She looks young. Yeah. Like she doesn't look like somebody who's, you know, old and sick of shit and is just going to walk off into the forest. Right. New Mexico State Police said that they positively identified the remains of Melissa Cassius, 54. Well, or 54 years old. Who was last seen alive on June 26, 2025. Okay. Her body was found in the McAfee Ridge area of the Carson National Forest approximately six miles from the last place she was seen walking before declared missing. Now, wait till you hear this. Okay.

[00:41:38] [SPEAKER_02] How freaky. And I need to hear from the husband. Also, by the way, side exit here. They found another human skeleton in Tucson that is not Nancy Guthrie. How many dead people did we bury in Tucson? Right. And nobody gives a shit. Nobody cares. No. No. We just keep finding our body every week. Well, we found another skull. So I was taking the dog for a walk. Came upon some bones. Turns out to be leg bones. Humans. That's a famer. Oh, my God. It's a famer. All right.

[00:42:07] [SPEAKER_02] Police said a hiker in the forest made the discovery and that a handgun was found alongside the body. Alongside the body. Her cause of death and when she died have yet to be determined. This is what happened. The circumstances surrounding her case were even more disturbing as the wife, and she's a wife and mother, wiped all records from her phones before leaving them and leaving them and her identification behind.

[00:42:37] [SPEAKER_02] So she factory reset her phone, left it at home, left her ID at home, and then went walking at her home last June. It remains unclear how long the body was in the forest for. It was discovered despite the part of being a—it's part of a large U.S. forest restoration program where crews have been working since December 2025.

[00:43:02] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[00:43:02] [SPEAKER_02] So why did it take so long? The New Mexico police say they're still investigating and they don't know anything about the gun. It could take days before it's answered. She was working. They were concerned about her disappearance. It was much part of a larger pattern about individuals who had access to adopt government research.

[00:43:24] [SPEAKER_02] He explained that her work at LANL may have made her a target for abduction since an administrative assistant often has the access to the same sensitive files as their supervisors have.

[00:43:35] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:43:36] [SPEAKER_02] Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is crazy, this part. The woman's family and private investigators have disputed how much access she really had, claiming that the LANL employee lost her security clearance due to financial troubles she and her husband were having. She vanished after dropping her husband off. He also works there at LANL. Whatever that— That's 70 miles from their house, which is weird.

[00:44:01] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[00:44:02] [SPEAKER_02] Anyway.

[00:44:03] [SPEAKER_04] That's a big commute.

[00:44:03] [SPEAKER_02] That's when her behavior became unusual, as she claimed she would need to return home after forgetting the badge needed to access the nuclear lab. According to her husband, a superintendent at the lab, she had the security badge with her when she dropped him off in the morning as she would have needed to get past security checkpoints. So you don't need to go home to get it. You have it.

[00:44:28] [SPEAKER_03] You have it.

[00:44:29] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. When she arrived back home, the couple's daughter, Sierra, reportedly told investigators her mother visited the teen's place of work to drop off a sandwich and then said she planned to work from home after forgetting the badge.

[00:44:46] [SPEAKER_04] That's weird.

[00:44:47] [SPEAKER_02] This whole thing is bizarre.

[00:44:49] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, it's all bizarre.

[00:44:49] [SPEAKER_02] She, despite what she reportedly told her husband and daughter, she returned home to drop off her work and personal phones, which the family would later find inside the house wiped clean.

[00:45:01] [SPEAKER_03] Wow.

[00:45:02] [SPEAKER_02] Weird. Yeah. And here's what's even weirder. I don't even know how to factory reset my—

[00:45:07] [SPEAKER_04] Your galaxy? No, I have no idea.

[00:45:09] [SPEAKER_02] My one nephew, the autistic one, he can reset anything, and he has to all of our devices when he's become—

[00:45:14] [SPEAKER_04] Put in his own stuff.

[00:45:15] [SPEAKER_02] When he's become mad. Yeah, my mom's like—I was looking at my mom because I pay for a lot of stuff, and I'm like, what's all this gambling you got going on here, Mom? I mean, I'm okay with it, but what the fuck is it? Ching, cash, something, checkers. She's like, I didn't buy any of that. It's Candy Crush, not Candy Crush. Candy Crush.

[00:45:34] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:45:35] [SPEAKER_02] Okay. Specifically, the device showed that someone performed a factory reset on both devices, clearing all records of whom Cassius may have been in contact with before Vantage. Vanishing.

[00:45:47] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:45:47] [SPEAKER_02] Surveillance cameras last spotted her walking alone eastward on stage such as roads such as— Three miles from her home.

[00:45:55] Wow.

[00:45:55] [SPEAKER_02] Why would you do all this? I don't know. Or did someone else do it?

[00:46:00] [SPEAKER_04] I think somebody else did it.

[00:46:01] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah.

[00:46:02] [SPEAKER_04] None of that makes any sense.

[00:46:03] [SPEAKER_02] Three other individuals in New Mexico in connection with—to U.S. nuclear facilities disappeared under identical circumstances over the last year. That's four people.

[00:46:13] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[00:46:14] [SPEAKER_02] Who's killing them and why?

[00:46:16] [SPEAKER_04] Right. Right.

[00:46:18] [SPEAKER_02] And then there was an old man, Anthony Chavez. He's 79. He worked at the lab until his retirement in 2017, although his role has not been made clear. He vanished without a trace after walking out of his house May 4, 2025, seven weeks before Cassius, the woman. That's crazy. A 79-year-old? Yeah. What are we doing? Meanwhile, Stephen Garcia, 48, vanished without a trace on August 28, 2025.

[00:46:43] [SPEAKER_02] He was last seen leaving his Albuquerque, New Mexico home on foot carrying only a handgun and no ID. That's what she had.

[00:46:50] Wow.

[00:46:51] [SPEAKER_02] What is going on?

[00:46:52] [SPEAKER_04] What's going on?

[00:46:53] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know. I'll stay on top of it, but here's what I know if you see somebody walking alone.

[00:47:01] [SPEAKER_03] Yes. Yeah.

[00:47:02] [SPEAKER_02] Try to kidnap them. Keep them safe. The goat. Wow.

[00:47:08] [SPEAKER_04] That's crazy.

[00:47:10] [SPEAKER_02] Yep.

[00:47:10] [SPEAKER_04] Holy shit, they found it.

[00:47:15] [SPEAKER_02] 72-million-year-old dinosaur eggs the size of small melons found in extraordinary discovery in France. Oh, wow. Size of a melon. Oh, my God. Should we bring them alive? Can we? They date back to 72 million years ago to the late such-and-such period. I can't pronounce it.

[00:47:33] [SPEAKER_03] Cool. That's cool.

[00:47:35] [SPEAKER_02] It was Spain, Portugal, and southern France.

[00:47:38] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:47:39] [SPEAKER_02] That's where this guy was walking around. Wow. It was a titanosaurus.

[00:47:44] Wow.

[00:47:45] [SPEAKER_02] It had an enormous long neck. It measured about 50 feet long and weighed between 15 and 20 tons.

[00:47:53] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[00:47:54] [SPEAKER_02] Researchers believe periodic flooding and river overflows helped preserve the eggs by covering them in sediment millions of years ago.

[00:48:01] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[00:48:02] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah.

[00:48:02] [SPEAKER_04] That's crazy.

[00:48:04] [SPEAKER_02] They always went back to the same spot to have their kids. That's cute. You don't think of a little dinosaur as being real sweet like that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to have my kids here. I want to go back to my house.

[00:48:13] [SPEAKER_04] This is a nice dirt pile. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:48:17] [SPEAKER_02] This is the biggest deposit in the world. There are millions of eggs, but to have this many in one place. And then the question is, can we? Do we do Jurassic Park? I say why not?

[00:48:27] [SPEAKER_04] Shit's a little weird anyway.

[00:48:31] [SPEAKER_02] Let's just add that to the pile. This is so exciting. Okay. I'm not a conspiracy person for the most part.

[00:48:37] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:48:39] [SPEAKER_02] My aren't conspiracies. Mine are mysteries that I want solved before I'm dead. I want to find Malaysian flight. My Malaysian flight. I want to find Amelia Earhart's plane. I want to find a Bigfoot. I want to find a Loch Ness Monster. That's a lot of points. Well, I'm not like asking aliens to come from other planets. They're here. Well, I. Yeah. They're here. Yeah. I think they're. Yeah. Killing people. You summoned them. I know. I hope they don't listen to this podcast.

[00:49:06] [SPEAKER_02] If I am found with just a handgun, of which I do own. Here's how you know I didn't do it. I don't know how to factory reset my own phone. So if somebody did that, it is not me. No. Pas moi. So Noah's Ark. Okay. Here's the thing. This is going to piss off Christian people, Bible people. I think. I don't know. Maybe not. As a Catholic. Or it'll open a dialogue. Let's open a dialogue. Let's open a constructive dialogue. Let's not.

[00:49:36] [SPEAKER_02] Okay. As a Catholic, like, I believe the Bible stories. Okay. But I do not take them literally all the way as much as, say, some people would.

[00:49:46] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:49:46] [SPEAKER_02] Like, when they say there was a flood, the earth flooded. To them back then, the earth was like the size of Maryland. True. They didn't know. You don't know how big the earth is because you can only go so far on foot or your donkey or whatever the fuck.

[00:50:02] [SPEAKER_03] Exactly.

[00:50:03] [SPEAKER_02] So when they say there was a Noah, was there a flood? Yes, I believe that. Was there a guy named Noah who built an ark? Sure. Did he really? This is where I branch off from the literal people. Did he really get to a very species of every single thing on earth? No, that would be impossible and put him on a boat. Did he take the good ones?

[00:50:22] [SPEAKER_04] I've seen it in the pop-up books.

[00:50:22] [SPEAKER_02] Well, those pop-up books that you saw in a Canadian dental office were lies. That's where this started. Write a letter. A Canadian dental office. Write a letter.

[00:50:33] [SPEAKER_04] The ark theory.

[00:50:34] [SPEAKER_02] Your form of Reader's Digest was bullshit. So, yes, I believe there's an ark. Yes, do I believe it? It's on Mount Arafat. I think it's called. It's in Turkey. That's where they keep saying that it is. Yes. They found it? And these stories were to teach you a lesson. It wasn't about let's get tied up in the details. That's what the Catholics taught to us. So don't judge me for what I'm just telling you what I was taught. I'm passing it along. Did these stories have a moral to them? Learn from the moral.

[00:51:04] [SPEAKER_02] Stop focusing on how long was the boat? How many feet long was the boat? Okay. How many lions did he have? Blah, blah, blah. True. Yep. Here's the article. Readers of the Lost Ark. Archaeologists could be one step closer to locating Noah's Ark final resting spot after noticing a peculiar feature on a 440-year-old world map called the Planisphere.

[00:51:28] [SPEAKER_04] The Planisphere? Yeah. I like it.

[00:51:30] [SPEAKER_02] There was a map that was 440 years old.

[00:51:32] [SPEAKER_04] Totally. Google that.

[00:51:33] [SPEAKER_02] Created in 1587 by Italian cartographer Urbano Monte. This sprawling opus consists of 60 hand-drawn streets that can be assembled into a foot-wide circle, making it the largest known early map of the world. The Planisphere. The Planisphere.

[00:51:52] I like it.

[00:51:52] [SPEAKER_02] It's housed, if you ever want to see it, at Stanford University's David Rumsey Map Center, featuring intricate illustrations and continents, far-off lands, and mythical monsters all arranged in a layout that places the North Pole at the center.

[00:52:06] [SPEAKER_04] Nice.

[00:52:06] [SPEAKER_02] Well, they say mythical monsters. I mean, the giant squid was a mythical monster until like 1987.

[00:52:12] [SPEAKER_04] True.

[00:52:13] [SPEAKER_02] And then they got one. Right. And they're like, these Japanese drawings of little fishermen in boats, and this giant octopus comes up and starts flicking them out of the boat. Mm-hmm. Fucking true.

[00:52:22] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[00:52:23] [SPEAKER_02] Right. Crazy. So mythical, it's only mythical until we prove it's not.

[00:52:28] [SPEAKER_03] Right.

[00:52:28] [SPEAKER_02] Anyway, they have on this map an alleged depiction of Noah's Ark resting in Turkey's Ararat. I said Ararat. Mountains. That's yes. The supposed resting of the place of the biblical lifeboat.

[00:52:42] Mm-hmm.

[00:52:42] [SPEAKER_02] Genesis 8-4 notably states the legendary vessel ended up on the mountains of Ararat following the 150-day great flood that inundated the earth. Mm.

[00:52:55] [SPEAKER_04] This is hard.

[00:52:56] [SPEAKER_02] No. They're doing it. They're getting all the high-tech stuff. I'm telling you, I believe 100% it's there. I don't know why we just don't start digging carefully. Not me. Gingerly. People who know what they're doing. Ginger digging. Yes. Mm-hmm. Got it. Well, we're moving on. Okay. We have some sports news briefly.

[00:53:17] Okay.

[00:53:17] [SPEAKER_02] NBA fans, good luck getting a Knicks ticket. Can you Google, I haven't kept up in two days, a Knicks ticket for tomorrow night? See what comes up on Ticketmaster or stuff up.

[00:53:38] [SPEAKER_04] Okay. How much? The upper, upper $3,200.

[00:53:45] [SPEAKER_02] What about like down by the court? If I want to sit next to Spike Lee, which I don't. What if I did?

[00:53:56] [SPEAKER_04] Those are in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. $102,000 for one.

[00:54:04] [SPEAKER_02] $102,000 for one ticket? Courtside. Mm-hmm. Yep.

[00:54:09] Yeah.

[00:54:10] [SPEAKER_02] I just can't.

[00:54:11] [SPEAKER_04] You get a special entrance according to this.

[00:54:13] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, you get a special entrance? Yeah, you get to go home. Oh, how sweet is that? It's a sweet door. I don't really care what goddamn door I walk in. I want to know how I got there and where did I get dropped off and where am I getting picked up? Let's see. Let's get on StubHub.

[00:54:23] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, my. This is crazy. The NBA is insane. I mean, the NFL is too, but.

[00:54:31] [SPEAKER_02] It's all crazy. Yeah.

[00:54:32] [SPEAKER_04] This is all nuts.

[00:54:33] [SPEAKER_02] It's all crazy. Wow. And I don't believe these are influencers for once. I think these are actual Knicks fans, but if you've got Spike Lee, who has a billion dollars, saying, I don't care what it costs, I'm going.

[00:54:44] [SPEAKER_04] Neither does Timothy.

[00:54:46] [SPEAKER_02] Ben Affleck. Chalamet.

[00:54:47] [SPEAKER_04] He don't care.

[00:54:48] [SPEAKER_02] Timothy Chalet, as my brother calls him. Exactly. Or Timothee Chardonnay. Okay. Timothy Chardonnay, as I like to call him.

[00:54:53] [SPEAKER_04] I like it. Okay. Courtside. Oh, those are center court. Okay. $14,792. $39,600.

[00:55:05] Oh, my God.

[00:55:06] [SPEAKER_04] Oh. Section 224 has got a hot one for $896.

[00:55:11] [SPEAKER_02] $896? Just one ticket? Yep. No friends. That's got my friend Michael Somerville written all over it. Oh, my God. Michael. Michael. I'm going to have to text him. Text him. Michael, get out of there right now. Right now. Right now.

[00:55:20] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, it's just an amazing deal.

[00:55:23] [SPEAKER_02] It certainly sounds like it compared to other things. Wow. It's crazy. Wow. All right. Well, we're moving on to news.

[00:55:31] [SPEAKER_04] And the U.S. Open. I mean, it's crazy, too.

[00:55:34] [SPEAKER_02] Well, the U.S. Open people, tennis is not really my thing, but that's on Labor Day, right? Yes. The U.S. Open? Mm-hmm. Well, I guess they opened up the gates for tickets for day-passed people. All I know is everybody online was going mental. Yep. They're very mad. They can't believe how much it costs. No. Just to—I don't understand. I don't know enough about tennis. I don't understand. Like, do you get assigned to court? Right.

[00:56:01] [SPEAKER_02] How do you—do you just go, like, the Masters and wander? Can you just wander from venue to venue? Like, hey, I'm on the Arthur Ashe court, and now—

[00:56:09] [SPEAKER_04] You have to have tickets in—

[00:56:11] [SPEAKER_02] That venue?

[00:56:12] [SPEAKER_04] The venue. But there's, like, general admission for certain passes. So you're not—you don't have a specific seat. It's kind of like the Masters when you—

[00:56:19] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, and you can come and go, like, we're at the driving range at the Masters? Right. Okay.

[00:56:24] [SPEAKER_04] But it's like the Masters when somebody's hitting, you know.

[00:56:26] [SPEAKER_02] Right, right, right, right, right. You've got to wait until the point's over. Okay. I have to shit in my pants. I'm going to shit in my pants. I'm going to shit on the court.

[00:56:34] [SPEAKER_04] How do you not believe that, man? That should be a meme for so many things.

[00:56:38] [SPEAKER_02] I'm going to shit on the court. Or just—I'm going to shit in my pants.

[00:56:44] [SPEAKER_04] So fun.

[00:56:45] [SPEAKER_02] And because I am French, I will say this with flair. I will say shit. Okay, we're moving on in news. Oh. Fun. This is crazy. It was the hottest day ever. Now, last week I talked about the mosquitoes in Iceland, correct? Mm-hmm. Okay. That shows you. It goes with my armadillo joke, but I'm not even kidding. And I don't even understand science. Hottest day ever recorded in Ireland in County Tipperary and Cary today. Ever recorded. Wow.

[00:57:15] [SPEAKER_02] Ever. What is 30 degrees Celsius in Fahrenheit? What is what? 30. Three zero? Yes.

[00:57:23] [SPEAKER_04] Let's see. There's always a decimal. It is—ding! 86. It's not bad.

[00:57:32] I know.

[00:57:32] [SPEAKER_04] It's a great day, actually.

[00:57:34] [SPEAKER_02] But there used to be a comedy festival in the town that my grandpa's family is actually from in Kilkenny, and it was called Cat Laughs. It was a really fun festival because you just—there's like four main streets, and you all get a bar, and you switch bars every night. So, like, I'd perform at Langdon's, and then I'd move to another bar, and we'd all switch around. Fun. But in the true word of festival, we all would end up in the same place at the end of the night. It wasn't spread out. It was walkable. It was fucking great.

[00:57:59] [SPEAKER_02] But one of the years I was there, it was unseasonably hot, and my brother was with me. Some of these Irish drunk guys, they are so translucent white. Like, you don't even need an x-ray to see what's inside of them. That's how white they are. The sun burns, and I'm like, look at them. And I don't—they call it sun cream over there. Sun cream. I'm like, I think he's missing the sun cream. The amount of burning—and they were jumping off the river bridge.

[00:58:28] [SPEAKER_02] They were just so excited. But there's also eels in that river. I'm like, oh! Gross. I'm not afraid of fish, but an eel? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Anyway, so just saying, you know, everybody's like, oh, there's no global warming. Well, it's the hottest day on record ever. Yeah, County Carlo, too. And then they show—you know, some of the beaches in Ireland, like, you go down there and there's, like, a cow. Yeah.

[00:58:54] [SPEAKER_02] They're more—I love that you can take dogs, but I love their beaches, but I love the mist. I would stay in the mist all the time. That's why we're supposed to be mist people. Right. That's why we're so white, because we don't do that. Here's great news if you're a female symphony conductor. Wow, that's a segue. Yeah. Okay. Hong Kong-born conductor Elim Chan, 39—39! Okay.

[00:59:20] [SPEAKER_02] She's stepping into one of the most prestigious positions in classical music, marking a major milestone in an industry long dominated by men. Nice. As the first female director of the San Francisco Symphony, she's opening the door wider for the next generation of women in classical music. It's groundbreaking. It's another ceiling broken, she said. I still have people in the audience that want to say hi to me. It's the first time I've seen a woman conductor, and they're very happy. That's awesome. Congratulations, Elim! She's adorable.

[00:59:47] [SPEAKER_04] Her mom will be so proud.

[00:59:48] [SPEAKER_02] 39. You know there's somebody my age sitting there with a violin going, what? What the actual hell are we—who's child is this? Who dis? Who dis? Who dis? We covered Tom Jones going on tour. He's 85. I just—

[01:00:06] [SPEAKER_04] I think he's coming to Nashville.

[01:00:08] [SPEAKER_02] I thought I printed out his cities. I was just—because I thought it was funny, but I didn't. I'll do it next time. Next week.

[01:00:15] [SPEAKER_03] Let's see.

[01:00:16] [SPEAKER_02] Tourons!

[01:00:17] Oh, my God.

[01:00:18] [SPEAKER_04] Tourons! He's going to Atlantic City. Dory's going to have to go. Oh, send Dory.

[01:00:23] [SPEAKER_02] I told her there's a new person for your mother to see since Johnny Mathis retired. Oh, God. This is so fabulous. You want to talk about dumb tourons? Yep. This is not just one. Okay. I never thought about this. Epstein's—Ebstein Island's billionaire owner is now battling zealous voyeurs. So a dude bought that island.

[01:00:47] [SPEAKER_04] Right, which I think is—

[01:00:48] [SPEAKER_02] It's called Little St. Jeff's, the notorious Caribbean hideaway of Jeffrey Epstein. This is what's happening. They're showing up on jet skis. Oh, my God. Yeah. Wave runners. Boats. One recent visitor—

[01:01:04] [SPEAKER_04] His children.

[01:01:04] [SPEAKER_02] You're trespassing. He has security. But this is the Touron bullshit. Right. One recent visitor was allegedly hog-tied naked. What? Would-be interlopers on jet skis have been chased away. Another apparently was bound with duct tape and assaulted in the presence of police officers. Epstein's been dead for almost seven years. If you believe that.

[01:01:27] [SPEAKER_04] He's not dead.

[01:01:27] [SPEAKER_02] I don't think he's dead. I don't—I never thought Kenneth Lay died. I mean, that's not even conspiracy. Kenneth Lay. Enron.

[01:01:33] [SPEAKER_04] I know.

[01:01:34] [SPEAKER_02] Enron guy. I know. It's bullshit. Even though he's sitting in Costa Rica somehow. Because he looks like every 65-year-old white guy on the planet.

[01:01:40] [SPEAKER_04] Totally.

[01:01:42] [SPEAKER_02] I don't think Jeffrey died.

[01:01:45] No.

[01:01:45] [SPEAKER_02] I think Jeffrey's long gone. But anyway. And that lady in that prison in Texas. This is kind of conspiracy-y. I will give somebody that. Okay. But not like my little friend Joe Rogan. He goes cray-cray on all this. By the way, I hired a window washing company and these guys were like 22 years old. They were adorable. Mm-hmm. And the one guy goes, I don't want to be weird, but I know who you are. I go, okay.

[01:02:14] [SPEAKER_02] He goes, I was just wondering if I could have a t-shirt. And I said, he goes, I'll pay you. I go, you can have all the t-shirts you want. Go out in the garage and look for your size in a box and take whatever the fuck you want. I do not care. He goes, I listened to you on Joe Rogan when it was back in Los Angeles. I'm like, have you been listening to Joe Rogan since you were four? How old are you? Like, I always just putz around here like, they don't know who I am. Right. I'm a 60-year-old lady that they think is- Hand him Gatorade's hair. Gatorade and beer.

[01:02:44] [SPEAKER_02] I'm like, I'm a golfer for a beer, but I don't even know if they're old enough to drink. I can't be held responsible. Are you guys 21 or not? They did such a great job. But like, he followed Joe Rogan since then. I mean, when I did it, it was in LA. And it was more conspiracy stuff like, can the government create weather? Because there are a lot of people online that says the government's controlling the weather. And then Joe went down to UCLA and got scientists. It was interesting. Yep.

[01:03:11] [SPEAKER_02] To see if, can you in fact make a tornado?

[01:03:14] [SPEAKER_03] Mm-hmm.

[01:03:15] [SPEAKER_02] True. Blah, blah.

[01:03:16] [SPEAKER_03] Yep.

[01:03:16] [SPEAKER_02] Anyway. Anyway, that's a sidetrack because I don't think Epstein's really dead. But anyway, they're saying he's been dead for seven years. And now a strange new drama is playing out on a private island that once was his, Little St. James. The new owner, distressed debt billionaire and Black Diamond founder, Stephen Deckoff, has been besieged by curiosity seekers and voyeurs. Wow. Many of the visitors believe Epstein is still alive. This lady does. Mm-hmm. Others are on a mission to fight, quote, monsters.

[01:03:45] [SPEAKER_02] They arrive on jet skis. They're developing drones to shoot footage. And they're risking arrest. Wow. His staff, in response, have occasionally taken matters into their own hands. The owners who have made and will continue. Yeah, I know. Mm-hmm. Um, uh, hold on. Oh. There's an anti-trafficking guy from Tennessee, and he was going to plant a flag bearing his organization's name, We, quote, Fight Monsters, on the island last month.

[01:04:14] [SPEAKER_02] He was restrained with duct tape when he tried to do this, blindfolded, and held in an underground bunker for several hours. Wow. Wow. Last month, police filed charges against him for trespassing. He is due to be arraigned and da-da-da-da. Um, so here's the thing, guys. Um, if you are so inclined to take your jet ski to Stevens Island now, just remember he has guys with duct tape. He has underground bunkers. And he has the right-

[01:04:42] [SPEAKER_02] A drone is one thing, which I don't think you should do anyway. It's not your property. It's not very nice. No, it's bullshit. My neighbor, there was a real estate guy once, and he had a drone because he wanted to do shots for the, you know, for Zillow or whatever. And my neighbor, Shane, came out with a shotgun. Oh, no. I know. I'm like, he likes me a lot. Like, we're buddies. He's a South Carolina guy, and he's not a crazy redneck, but he likes his privacy. Right. And he-

[01:05:11] [SPEAKER_01] Funny.

[01:05:11] [SPEAKER_02] He came up to the house with a shotgun, and he goes, Kathleen, you got a drone out there? I said, Stephen, I wouldn't know how to work a drone if the controls were in my hand. No, I don't have any drones. I have nothing. I have a fishing pole and boat keys. That's it. And he was like, well, fuck it. I'm taking it down.

[01:05:28] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, my God.

[01:05:29] [SPEAKER_02] It's flown over my house 10 times. I'm sick of it. And he walked out, and there's a poor kid in a shitty car.

[01:05:36] [SPEAKER_03] Yep.

[01:05:36] [SPEAKER_02] Like a black Honda old one. And he banged on the window with the shotgun. So you imagine you're this 20-something, right, and this guy. Yep. And he goes, yeah, your drone? He goes, because I'm going to shoot it down. Yeah. And the kid was like, oh, I'm just with a real estate company, and I was told to fly it around, and I lost control of it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And he didn't shoot the drone, and he didn't shoot the kid.

[01:06:03] Thank God.

[01:06:04] [SPEAKER_02] Because then my other neighbor's like, did you send Shane? I go, I'm not the boss of Shane. No. I don't know. I'm just glad he's got a shotgun. If shit goes down over here, and I'm going, he got it.

[01:06:14] [SPEAKER_04] Guard the cats. Guard the castle, Shane.

[01:06:17] [SPEAKER_02] Guard the castle. That's funny. Moving on. Sorry, I've been sidetracking a lot today. This makes me very sad, but it needs to be known, and we need to fix it. We need to call the Dutch, call the Netherlands immediately. We need help with learning how to control rising waters, and they know it better than anyone.

[01:06:35] [SPEAKER_04] It's amazing. Yes.

[01:06:36] [SPEAKER_02] Rising seas will swallow New Orleans. Relocation planning must start now. It is probably my top favorite city in America. I feel that it's sinking. Okay. So I keep going, because I want to go to the places. I feel Charleston, that water's a little too close to the edge, too. Agreed. Savannah, not as much as the river, but they're saying they've lost 2,000 square miles of wetlands.

[01:07:06] [SPEAKER_02] It's just coastal Louisiana faces sea level rise of around 10 to 23 feet. The impacts will be bleak. 75% of its remaining wetlands are set to be lost, and its shoreline could retreat inland up to 62 miles. No, thank you. This is why I have to go to LSU and be a student, because I'll be in Baton Rouge.

[01:07:27] [SPEAKER_04] They're waiting for you.

[01:07:27] [SPEAKER_02] Oh.

[01:07:29] They're waiting.

[01:07:29] [SPEAKER_02] The region has crossed the point of no return. This paper reported, they wrote a paper on it. That's crazy. It'll be surrounded by the Gulf of Mexico before the end of the century. Wow. They argue the city must seize the opportunity to develop strategies for relocation that can make it a model for places facing a similar fate. Rising seas are coming for coastal towns and cities all over the world from London. Yeah, I mean, New York, down by the financial district, when it floods.

[01:07:59] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. It's under.

[01:08:01] [SPEAKER_02] London, Bangkok, Shanghai. It's very, very sad, and I don't know why. They keep offering. The Dutch have offered a million for free. Listen, fools. You morons, we'll come over and teach you how to handle this. Right. Nah, we're good. Here's something more fun news.

[01:08:25] [SPEAKER_04] Fun news. I want to do this. Okay.

[01:08:28] [SPEAKER_02] This is in Bristol, England. I don't know where Bristol, England is, but if I ever find myself there, and you guys, this is worth the ticket price.

[01:08:42] [SPEAKER_04] Bristol's an area, I think.

[01:08:44] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know.

[01:08:44] [SPEAKER_04] There's Bristol City, too. Anyway.

[01:08:46] [SPEAKER_02] No, it's in the city of Bristol. All right. You get one night in this Airbnb. It's $1,000. Now, I know that's a lot. I don't know how many it sleeps. Okay. But it's Pablo Escobar's 727. His airplane.

[01:09:02] [SPEAKER_03] Shut up.

[01:09:03] [SPEAKER_02] And it is time capsule. They have kept it. The original 1980s style private jet interior. Walnut paneling. And the whole thing smells like cocaine. Joking. Coke doesn't smell. Walnut paneling. Gold details. Crystal features. A fully fitted cockpit. Two lounge areas. A king-size bed. Two single beds. Okay. So you could get four people. Yeah. So divide your $2.50 a piece. Bargain. Fun. It has three toilets, a shower, and a full kitchen.

[01:09:32] [SPEAKER_02] Outside, there's also a deck area with a hot tub and sauna while the aircraft sits around 32 feet off the ground to give guests the feelings of being boarding a serious luxury jet. That's hilarious. That is fun. Wow. It points to this guy, whoever.

[01:09:46] [SPEAKER_03] Who owns it?

[01:09:47] [SPEAKER_02] Ask. It's an individual. It's not in this article. I read like three articles on it. Again, doing the work of the Lord. Just trying to edit and get it down.

[01:09:54] [SPEAKER_04] Nice.

[01:09:57] [SPEAKER_02] $1,000 a night. It's pretty good. Well, yeah. Even if you just did it with a friend. $500 a piece. I mean, in New York.

[01:10:04] [SPEAKER_04] The influencers.

[01:10:05] [SPEAKER_02] I will not mention my sweetest, sweetest little dumb flower friend, Dwarf. Dwarf. He's like, Dwarf. Bless his heart. I need help with a hotel in New York. I'm like, I don't live there. I don't know. He's like, why are I go tickets or a hotel? He's not going for the next game. He's going for his kid or whatever. I'm like, Dwarf, it's the next playoff week.

[01:10:28] [SPEAKER_04] Right. Yes. And you have money.

[01:10:30] [SPEAKER_02] Rooms are going to be.

[01:10:31] I know.

[01:10:32] [SPEAKER_02] I know.

[01:10:33] [SPEAKER_04] Precious.

[01:10:34] [SPEAKER_02] He's so precious. We fight about it. All you do is sleep in a room. Why would you pay what you pay sometimes? Because I want where I'm at to be nice.

[01:10:41] [SPEAKER_04] I don't have bed bugs.

[01:10:42] [SPEAKER_02] At least, I don't have bed bugs, Brian. You and my brother are going to, well, my brothers have bed bugs.

[01:10:48] [SPEAKER_04] Totally.

[01:10:49] [SPEAKER_02] This is crazy to me. This is a crazy story.

[01:10:52] [SPEAKER_01] Okay.

[01:10:53] [SPEAKER_02] The Musée d'Orsay. It's my favorite art museum in the world.

[01:10:57] [SPEAKER_03] Is it really?

[01:10:58] [SPEAKER_02] Yes. And it's better than the Louvre. If you happen to be in Paris, if you care about, I don't care about those old timey Rembrandt. I know it's Rembrandt. I get it. But they all look the same after a while.

[01:11:10] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah.

[01:11:11] [SPEAKER_02] I like the newer guys, the Monets. They're not even new, but the Impressionists. Well, this is insane. I do not know how this will not go crazy. Artworks by Renoir, Degas, and Rodin that are believed to have been looted by the Nazis from their Jewish owners have gone on display at the Musée d'Orsay in Paris. The museum, one of the world's largest collections of Impressionist and post-Impressionist art,

[01:11:39] [SPEAKER_02] has this week taken a significant step in France's effort to reckon into this dark past, opening a permanent space for work thought to have been looted by the Nazis, but whose rightful owners have not been identified. Now, good. We should get all that shit back, and we should give it to the original Jewish owners, whoever they may have been. But how are you going to, you're going to put all these really expensive paintings out and then say, hey, man, if it's yours, let us know.

[01:12:06] [SPEAKER_02] How many freaks are going to come out of the woodwork and say, well, this was my grandma's, and I don't know how you prove that. All those records are destroyed. Yep. But the exhibition is called Who Owns These Works?

[01:12:21] [SPEAKER_03] What?

[01:12:22] [SPEAKER_02] I mean, I've seen shit on Craigslist go crazier than this worth nothing. It's like calling the front seat. It's a rotating section, a selection of 225 pieces that are currently housing me at 12 paintings and one sculpture. Wow. Rodin is the sculptor guy. 100,000 artworks were looted in France during the war. Yes, we should try to get it. I just don't know about opening that up to the general public.

[01:12:49] [SPEAKER_03] Right.

[01:12:50] [SPEAKER_02] If you had those artworks to begin with, odds are your family had a little bit of money or you wouldn't have, Monet was still worth a shit ton in 1939.

[01:13:00] [SPEAKER_01] Right.

[01:13:01] [SPEAKER_02] There has to be, your family had to have records. Some sort of something. Right. Unless that all got destroyed too, but then how are you going to prove it?

[01:13:11] [SPEAKER_04] True.

[01:13:11] [SPEAKER_02] I just think it's weird to let every Tom, Dick, and Harry walk in and go, yeah, it's my grandpa, Bob's. Really? Okay.

[01:13:21] Wow.

[01:13:21] [SPEAKER_02] Well, that's what they're doing.

[01:13:22] [SPEAKER_01] Uh-huh.

[01:13:23] [SPEAKER_02] Good for the French. And then I, I think. I like the name of it. Knowing the French though, they could go, I don't know, we put them up. We said if you want it, prove it. And they're trying.

[01:13:34] [SPEAKER_03] And they're failing.

[01:13:35] [SPEAKER_02] No one has proven it. No one. No one has proven it.

[01:13:39] [SPEAKER_04] Bye-bye.

[01:13:40] [SPEAKER_02] Bye-bye. Speaking of France, France bans Zin and other nicotine pouches.

[01:13:48] [SPEAKER_04] Really?

[01:13:49] [SPEAKER_02] Shocked.

[01:13:50] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[01:13:51] [SPEAKER_02] The children, the children love the Zin pouches. They love it. They love it. If you violate it, five years in prison. Wow. What? For nicotine?

[01:14:03] Oh.

[01:14:04] [SPEAKER_02] Let's simmer down now. That's a lot. I'm not saying it's good for you. No. And the children don't know. But it's better than vaping, I believe. Yeah. Now people are going to, don't send me emails. I'm just saying what I believe.

[01:14:18] [SPEAKER_04] Popcorn lung, baby.

[01:14:19] [SPEAKER_02] The popcorn lung from the vaping. I just, ooh.

[01:14:22] [SPEAKER_04] Crazy.

[01:14:24] [SPEAKER_02] And that's with me. I, you know, I've smoked everything, blah, blah, blah. I don't, I don't even care. But it's five years.

[01:14:29] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:14:29] [SPEAKER_02] A half a million dollar fine.

[01:14:32] [SPEAKER_04] That's insane.

[01:14:33] [SPEAKER_02] And I'm surprised that whoever owns these Zin pouches, I've never had one. I don't know. I know the kids.

[01:14:39] [SPEAKER_04] Pinky's into them, isn't he?

[01:14:41] [SPEAKER_02] Pinky Tito. Pinky Tito's old. He's mostly old school dip dip. He uses Zin when he has to be on good behavior in front of corporate people. Otherwise he's dipping. If it's me, he's dipping and spitting in a cup. Yeah. Because he knows I don't care. And I don't care. Bye. Just a cleaned up version of dipping. Got it. It's much more cultural, if you will. Yeah. Five years.

[01:15:10] [SPEAKER_04] That's crazy.

[01:15:12] [SPEAKER_02] Zin originated in Sweden. It's surged in popularity throughout Europe. I did see it a lot in Europe. Everywhere for sale. In France. And Amsterdam. And in Amsterdam, that's the least of the shit you can do.

[01:15:26] [SPEAKER_04] That's a downgrade.

[01:15:27] [SPEAKER_02] In fun. Nicotine pouches, also known as sachets, are small, bright, rectangle, filled with a powdered lace with nicotine, often flavored with other ingredients. Users place them. So France ain't kidding.

[01:15:40] [SPEAKER_04] Right.

[01:15:44] [SPEAKER_02] The ban, which took effect April 1st. It does not apply to cigs or vape. Okay. But what?

[01:15:52] [SPEAKER_04] Right.

[01:15:53] [SPEAKER_02] Well, you're never going to get the cigs from the French.

[01:15:55] [SPEAKER_04] No. No, no, no, no. No. But they look so cool when they're smoking.

[01:15:59] [SPEAKER_02] They look so cool when they smoke. So cool. I even will smoke when I'm over there. I won't smoke here. But over there at a cafe.

[01:16:07] [SPEAKER_04] With the rolled cigarettes. Everyone's smoking.

[01:16:09] [SPEAKER_02] I'm like, I love it. None of us care if we die tomorrow. This is so who's it. I don't care. I have a ham sandwich on the way. I always get a giant beer. And then I'm like, I'm going to go buy some of their freaky cigs that I, you know, and just sit here and smoke. Yeah. Because I can.

[01:16:27] [SPEAKER_01] Yep.

[01:16:27] [SPEAKER_02] Love it. I know it's old school. I know it's not healthy. Blah, blah. Please don't email. I only do it on vacation. I just think it's weird. Chewing tobacco and cigs and vape, not. I think Zen is the least dangerous.

[01:16:48] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[01:16:49] [SPEAKER_02] I'm not a doctor. Maybe you get lip cancer or mouth.

[01:16:51] [SPEAKER_04] We'll get into it. Yep. This is an ill-informed topic.

[01:16:55] [SPEAKER_02] I feel sorry for the children. Children. They're not allowed to have any fun. Uh-uh.

[01:16:59] No.

[01:17:00] [SPEAKER_04] Just Molly. Have all the Molly you want.

[01:17:03] Right.

[01:17:04] [SPEAKER_02] Get your Molly. Get your, uh.

[01:17:05] [SPEAKER_03] Get your Molly.

[01:17:07] [SPEAKER_02] Uh, hold on. Oh, speaking of the Gen Zers. And speaking of like. Speaking of Molly. Speaking of, um. Substance abuse. Um. As I open another beer. Everyone keeps asking why young people stop going out. As if Gen Z collectively woke up one morning. Downloaded a medication app. Bought a Stanley cup. Bought a Stanley cup. And decided bottle service.

[01:17:34] [SPEAKER_04] Stanley. Not the Stanley cup.

[01:17:35] [SPEAKER_02] Bought a Stanley. Oh, a Stanley cup. Yeah. I thought they meant the. I'm like, who? What does that have to do with anything? Haters. A Stanley cup. The water. Yeah, I get it. And decided bottle service was morally corrupt. Every month there's another think tank blaming. Uh. Another think tank piece blaming TikTok. Wellness culture. Dating acts. Ozempic. COVID-19. Sobriety. Or the death of the club culture. For why nightlife isn't what it used to be. But this guy. Whoever wrote this girl.

[01:18:05] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know. Man or woman who wrote this article. I can't even tell. Um. Nightlife didn't die. Because of people suddenly becoming boring. Nightlife is dying because a casual Friday night requires the financial planning of a wedding destination. Of a destination wedding. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. I cannot believe at my golf course. These old people. Like way older than me. Uh huh. Drink doubles.

[01:18:27] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[01:18:28] [SPEAKER_02] And that's like. So much. $32. Uh huh. And they'll drink four.

[01:18:33] [SPEAKER_04] They've had a lovely life.

[01:18:35] [SPEAKER_02] Fuck. Uh huh. Uh huh. You know. In a nice bar in New York. A cocktail is $27.

[01:18:41] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[01:18:41] [SPEAKER_02] You are going to run the kids out. Uh huh. Who's. I don't want to pay that.

[01:18:45] [SPEAKER_03] No.

[01:18:45] [SPEAKER_02] Thankfully I don't drink hard liquor like that. So it's never an issue. I'm just beer or wine. But you know. A wine is $22. Yes. It's ridiculous. But then I would also say. To the Gen Zers. Maybe you need some advice from Aunt Kat. And you have to figure out where to drink.

[01:19:03] [SPEAKER_04] Yes.

[01:19:04] [SPEAKER_02] You can't just walk into. The Westin Lounge. The St. Regis. The St. Regis. In the King Cole Bar. Uh huh. And think you're going to get a. $8 Bud Light. No. You're not.

[01:19:17] [SPEAKER_04] Well you can't get a $8 Bud Light.

[01:19:20] [SPEAKER_02] A vodka soda in Manhattan. Cost $27 before tip tax. And the emotional damage of watching the bartender turn on iPad. Towards you asking for a 25% tip.

[01:19:30] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:19:30] [SPEAKER_02] True. It's. Expensive. It sucks.

[01:19:34] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:19:35] [SPEAKER_02] This is. I would also say. If I had a bunch of Gen Zers. Where are you drinking? Let's figure out a better plan. Yeah. The Irish pubs in New York for example. Still. A beer there is a lot.

[01:19:49] [SPEAKER_04] Probably $15.

[01:19:50] Yeah.

[01:19:51] [SPEAKER_02] Well. That's not so bad. If you had 50 bucks then. Well. I don't know. I don't know. What the children make. Anymore.

[01:20:00] [SPEAKER_04] I don't know your shit.

[01:20:02] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know what they make. What is your salary? I could go ask all my nieces and nephews and I just. When I see them I don't care enough. What do you mean about these things? What time. Okay. It's time to get out of here. Yes. You have your things. I have many things. Let's do a grammar rule. Yes. Okay. We're not staying dumb. Nope. I'll tell you about what happened to Dolly Parton's Imagination Library next week when I do a little more research.

[01:20:31] Yeah.

[01:20:31] [SPEAKER_02] But you know what? Stay dumb. America. We're not staying dumb on this podcast. Nope.

[01:20:37] No.

[01:20:38] [SPEAKER_02] Did we do this one? The difference between between versus among. I can't remember and I didn't exit out.

[01:20:48] [SPEAKER_04] Try another one. We'll look.

[01:20:50] [SPEAKER_02] Okay. Pull. Pull.

[01:20:54] Pull.

[01:20:55] [SPEAKER_02] This one's always confusing. Okay. Lay versus lie. Yeah. I laid down. I lied down. I don't know. I never know what's right. Well, here's what it is.

[01:21:05] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[01:21:05] [SPEAKER_02] Lay, you put something down.

[01:21:08] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[01:21:09] [SPEAKER_02] Lie, you recline.

[01:21:12] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, that's hard.

[01:21:13] [SPEAKER_02] No. I lied down for a nap.

[01:21:16] [SPEAKER_04] I lied down.

[01:21:16] [SPEAKER_02] Sounds very British when I say it like that.

[01:21:18] [SPEAKER_04] I lied down.

[01:21:19] [SPEAKER_02] I lied down for a nap. The next thing I knew, Shane was at the front door of the show. Shot on. Threatening to shoot a 22-year-old real estate agent with a drone.

[01:21:32] [SPEAKER_01] Help me.

[01:21:34] [SPEAKER_02] Mm-hmm. So. Laid. Lied. If I set this, what about set? Or as my. Brother-in-law. Rural brother-in-law would say. Mm-hmm. Sit. Did you set that down?

[01:21:46] [SPEAKER_04] Yep.

[01:21:47] [SPEAKER_02] Sit. Yeah.

[01:21:47] [SPEAKER_04] We're going to set for a minute.

[01:21:48] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. Just set here.

[01:21:50] [SPEAKER_04] Set. Set here. Yeah. We're just setting.

[01:21:51] [SPEAKER_02] You mean sit, Matt? You mean what I mean sit? You mean sit? That's what I said. Sit. That's what I said. You said sit. Sit down. So. Lay versus lie. Lay is put something down. So I laid down my shotgun.

[01:22:07] [SPEAKER_03] Okay. Specifically.

[01:22:09] [SPEAKER_02] I took a nap. I lied down. I lied in the recliner. Okay. You probably don't need to say down. That's probably a Midwest thing. Mm-hmm. But see, I'd say I laid down. Right.

[01:22:18] [SPEAKER_04] Because you're going to lay up. It's wrong. No, lay up. It's wrong.

[01:22:22] [SPEAKER_02] Right. Let's get it together, people. God. There's another thing. Oh, man. I keep losing this one article. Hold on. I'm going to find it. Okay. Let's go over the Spanish we've learned.

[01:22:35] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[01:22:37] [SPEAKER_02] If I savagely, if I brutalize your language, I apologize in advance.

[01:22:42] [SPEAKER_04] You're actually getting a lot more compliments.

[01:22:44] [SPEAKER_02] Okay. Good. Damn, that pisses me off. Damn. I'll find it for next week. Okay. It's very exciting. In dorky land. We have learned. What do we know? This is if we're on vacation. Okay. Okay. Tienes alcohol? Do you have alcohol? Mm-hmm. Where is the bar? Donde esta la barra? Does the bar have food? ¿El barra sirve comida? Nice. Remember? Mm-hmm.

[01:23:14] [SPEAKER_02] What times does the kitchen close? ¿El que hora sirve de kitchen hora? That could be wrong, but that's how I wrote it. I like it. What time is check-in? ¿Qué hora es el check? How late is breakfast served? This is where I fuck it up real bad. ¿Hasta que hora si sirve el diseño? I like it. Yeah, but the last word's wrong. And today, well, last week we also learned where is the beach. ¿Donde esta la playa? We're getting very good at where it is. Yep. And then I thought, it's time for a compliment.

[01:23:44] [SPEAKER_04] Nice.

[01:23:45] [SPEAKER_02] Tell the guy I love this hotel. Me encanta este hotel.

[01:23:49] I like it.

[01:23:50] [SPEAKER_04] Yes. Oh, very complimentary.

[01:23:53] [SPEAKER_02] Nice. This is a great feel-good story.

[01:23:56] [SPEAKER_04] Teaching everybody to become nice tourists.

[01:23:58] [SPEAKER_02] Nice tourists, complimentary.

[01:24:00] [SPEAKER_04] A wonderful representation of America. Yeah.

[01:24:06] [SPEAKER_02] I want to do a segment because I read this whole thing. They were taking black history out of some school or whatever. And I thought, okay, fine. You'll take it out. I'm going to put it back in, motherfucker. And I have a great story about, it's about, well, they're all about black American inventors.

[01:24:24] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, cool.

[01:24:24] [SPEAKER_02] And what's the coolest of all is the guy I'm going to tell you about next week. Black guy invented the golf tee.

[01:24:31] [SPEAKER_03] Shut up.

[01:24:32] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. They didn't have tees before. They would take piles of sand and make a tee. And he's like, this is ridiculous. Like, your hands are getting filthy. Yeah. And there's sand ants and shit. Cool. I'll tell you about it. Here's the great news. They captured a picture of a red wolf. There's currently fewer than 35 left in North Carolina in the wild. They are a critically endangered species, but they found one, and it's beautiful.

[01:24:58] [SPEAKER_04] Nice.

[01:24:59] [SPEAKER_02] We'll put it in the schnotes.

[01:24:59] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[01:25:00] [SPEAKER_02] Here's feel-good. Giant sloths are no longer classified as endangered. You heard after a global population grew by 70% over the past decade.

[01:25:08] [SPEAKER_03] Nice.

[01:25:08] [SPEAKER_02] Years of habitat protection conservation programs and international cooperation are paying off proving that focused environmental efforts can make a real difference.

[01:25:18] [SPEAKER_04] That's fantastic.

[01:25:18] [SPEAKER_02] This is insane. There's a cat named Crean Puff.

[01:25:24] [SPEAKER_04] Crean Puff?

[01:25:25] [SPEAKER_02] Yep. Okay. He's real cute. He, she, when her, it looks like Kato, if Kato and Baby Cat had a baby. Crean Puff was born in Austin, Texas on August 3rd, 1967. She died August 6th, 2025, three days after her 38th birthday. Wow. She holds the Guinness World Record for the oldest cat ever documented. The average house cat lives about 15 years. Crean Puff lived more than twice as that. And her diet makes every veterinarian uncomfortable.

[01:25:56] [SPEAKER_02] Her owner, her owner, Jake Perry, fed her daily breakfast. She got a breakfast of bacon, eggs, turkey bacon, and coffee with heavy cream.

[01:26:08] [SPEAKER_03] Wow.

[01:26:08] [SPEAKER_02] My sister's cats love her coffee. Mine don't care. Coffee? Yeah. They go and drink out of her coffee cup.

[01:26:13] Wow.

[01:26:14] [SPEAKER_02] My cats could give a shit. Every few days, she also received an eyedropper of red wine. Perry credited her longevity not just to diet, but to mental stimulation. He converted a room of his house into a theater, and he ran nature and safari documentaries around the clock for the cats to watch. He previously owned Grandpa Rex Allen, who died at age 34, which had been the prior world record.

[01:26:40] [SPEAKER_02] Two cats, same owner, same unconventional diet, same house. Jake Perry has never been contacted by any major research institution, which remains one of the stranger oversights in the history of longevity. 38 years of bacon, eggs, coffee, heavy cream, red wine, and whatever Jake Perry was doing in Austin, Texas. The scientific community has no current explanation.

[01:27:02] [SPEAKER_03] It's cool.

[01:27:03] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. I was always told you to not give him alcohol. I wouldn't do that anyway. I don't need drunk cats.

[01:27:11] [SPEAKER_04] Drunk cats would be weird.

[01:27:12] [SPEAKER_02] There's enough. They do enough things. So that's about it.

[01:27:16] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, a lot of people ask what happened to Cato. Or to Blanco. Blanco.

[01:27:20] [SPEAKER_02] Blanco. So there were four kittens that showed up, and then I made arrangements to figure everything out for the four kittens. It all happened quite suddenly. And Blanco, I honestly, I don't know.

[01:27:34] Really?

[01:27:34] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. I think she ran away because she wasn't small enough to, like, I don't think a coyote got her or a fox or something. Or somebody stole her because she was long-haired. She's the only one out of the four that was long-haired, and she's beautiful. She really was stunning. Like, all I do is look at it.

[01:27:52] [SPEAKER_04] She may have been rehomed.

[01:27:53] [SPEAKER_02] She might have been rehomed, but as the universe balances itself out, when Blanco disappeared, Cedric appeared. Cedric appeared. The all-black cat who's doing wonderfully. Yeah, I don't know. Blanco was not terribly friendly. Like, I would, well, now, because I've had them a long time now. But in the beginning, I would have, like, lost my shit if baby cat had died.

[01:28:20] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, God, yeah.

[01:28:21] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah.

[01:28:22] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, she's a baby.

[01:28:23] [SPEAKER_02] But the others were very standoffish. They're feral. I mean, they were, were feral.

[01:28:27] [SPEAKER_03] Yep.

[01:28:27] [SPEAKER_02] Not that I would, I mean, I tried to help them, but. So that's why you see three in the picture and sometimes steady. So back to four. Cool. Yeah. All right, termites. I have to go to a wedding in St. Louis this weekend.

[01:28:41] [SPEAKER_04] What are you watching?

[01:28:42] Anything?

[01:28:43] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, well, I'm watching Dutton Ranch. It's cheesy. Whatever.

[01:28:47] [SPEAKER_03] I kind of like it.

[01:28:48] [SPEAKER_02] Well, the first episode was very Taylor Sheraton video, like VH1. I'm on a horse and music and all this shit. But it's gotten a lot better. I love Annette Benning. I love Ed Harris.

[01:28:59] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah, he's great.

[01:29:00] [SPEAKER_02] And I just read an article. They had to clear 3,400 rattlesnakes from the area where they're filming. They had six snake wranglers. Snake wranglers. No. Oh, I didn't do my quotes on my saint. What am I doing? Jesus. We have new quote books. Here's Miley Cyrus.

[01:29:18] [SPEAKER_04] So Dutton Ranch.

[01:29:19] [SPEAKER_02] Dutton Ranch. I like it. Okay. And then I tried to watch We Are Liars. I don't know how many of you. I think that's not even new. I don't know. Maybe it's new.

[01:29:27] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, I think so.

[01:29:28] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know. I'm going to give you guys one week, two weeks. I'll give you two to watch it.

[01:29:35] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[01:29:35] [SPEAKER_02] I will not blow the secrets now in case you haven't.

[01:29:38] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[01:29:40] [SPEAKER_02] It's good to have. You don't.

[01:29:43] [SPEAKER_03] I hated it. I loved it until the last episode.

[01:29:47] [SPEAKER_02] I love rich people. And this is about the Sinclair family. And they basically own an island like Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket. But I don't. The ending.

[01:29:59] Oh, my God.

[01:30:00] [SPEAKER_02] I just. I had to go back and rewatch it. I'm like, I get so lost in shit like that. I'm like, what?

[01:30:06] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[01:30:06] [SPEAKER_02] Who did what? That person wasn't real. This person is real.

[01:30:10] Anyway.

[01:30:12] [SPEAKER_02] Molly Cyrus. I would go see her if she was at the Sphere. Just because you're an artist, it doesn't give you an excuse to be an asshole. Good job, youngster. Good job.

[01:30:24] [SPEAKER_04] Quoted as Hannah Montana.

[01:30:27] [SPEAKER_02] You know, shit. She was probably mouthing off like that when she was eight.

[01:30:29] [SPEAKER_04] Fun.

[01:30:30] [SPEAKER_02] This is what would Keanu Reeves do. A personal philosophy and awe-inspiring advice from the patron saint of whoa. Keanu. This is a quote from him. So no matter how successful, kind, or handsome you are, you're no match for Jack Nicholson. Thanks, Keanu. We love you. All right, and I got a saint. Now we're out of here.

[01:31:00] [SPEAKER_04] That's awesome.

[01:31:03] [SPEAKER_02] This book has even crazier shit than the last one. The feast of the feast of the blessed Lidwina. Lidwina. An accident-prone virgin. She lived in 1433. She's the patron saint of ice skaters. Did they have ice skating in the 1400s? I guess they did. I don't know. Her name means friend of suffering, and Lidwina lived up to it.

[01:31:28] [SPEAKER_02] Like many a physically attractive female saint, she prayed to become less beautiful, and her prayers were answered. The Dutch maiden fell while skating and broke a rib, which pierced the flesh, resulting in an abscess that never healed and led to a series of unique symptoms. A fissure extruded from her brow to her nose, and her lower lip fell off her chin.

[01:31:53] [SPEAKER_02] She offered up her suffering for the sins of humanity, added to her misery by wearing a horsehair girdle, and she took to bed. Took to the bed. That was what we always used to say. The Italians, where I grew up, would say that their mother took to the bed. We're like, what the fuck? What does that mean? Like, she just never got up, pretty much. Yeah. She took to her bed for the next 33 years. Wow. Applying eel fat to her wounds.

[01:32:22] [SPEAKER_02] She once asked a visitor for the fat from one of his chickens. When he refused, she shouted, well, I hope the mice get your chickens. And they did that very night. Although a band of curiosity seekers once broke into Lidwina's room to marvel at her sores, her only constant companion was her guardian angel who escorted her to paradise and introduced her to various saints. Once in a church, a communion wafer descended from heaven and headed in her direction.

[01:32:51] [SPEAKER_02] When the parish priest refused to serve it to her, he incurred the wrath of townsfolks, and they chased him into the cemetery. Before she died, choking on her own phlegm, God saw it fit to add Lidwina's afflictions, headache, toothache, bed sores, and blindness. Those got added to the stigmata.

[01:33:12] Oh, God.

[01:33:13] [SPEAKER_02] Wow. Lidwina had a rough go of it.

[01:33:16] [SPEAKER_04] When did she die?

[01:33:17] [SPEAKER_02] How old? I don't know. It was in 1433. Yeah. She went to bed for 33 years and never got up. Yeah. So, yeah. All right. Yeah.

[01:33:28] Okay.

[01:33:28] [SPEAKER_02] Just imagine that. That's usually like your Friday send-off.

[01:33:32] [SPEAKER_04] She was 52.

[01:33:33] [SPEAKER_02] She was 52? Yep. All right.

[01:33:35] Mm-hmm.

[01:33:36] [SPEAKER_02] Well, figure skaters, there's your patron saint.

[01:33:38] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:33:44] [SPEAKER_02] Go for her.

[01:33:45] [SPEAKER_04] Go for you. Go for you, Lidwina. Go for you. Lidwina.

[01:33:47] [SPEAKER_02] Lidwina.

[01:33:48] [SPEAKER_04] Lidwina.

[01:33:49] [SPEAKER_02] All right. That's it.