Episode 272: RIP Spirit Airlines, Dissecting the Starbucks “Experience" & Golden Tempo Makes Kentucky Derby History

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_02] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:23] [SPEAKER_03] Termites, welcome! Welcome from Queen Stevie. So much news about Queen Stevie coming up, you can't even believe it. You can't even believe it. It's just mind-blowing. And more reason she's the queen. We'll be talking to Holly Bobby about the Met Gala where Stevie may or may not have attended. What are we drinking? Well, we're drinking. You know what, my mic could be a little louder, if you don't mind.

[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_03] Forty Gator Strong beer. This is from Termites Darren and Kareem. Here's the thing, it's 8%. Shut up! Michael Somerville, the beer monster was with me. Uh-oh. Yeah, and we threw him in the freezer. And yeah. Good times? He knew it was 8%. He went on to gamble. Yeah. So good for him.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_03] And what are we tasting? How about some pork rinds? So I kept seeing this Jay Lee's hot sauce. It was in the airport, it was everywhere. I guess it's, I don't know, it's an African-American dude, he looks like a military man. I guess it's hot sauce, so I bought two bottles of it. Oh, nice.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_04] And then Termites brought me some. Oh, wonderful. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Nice. They're very hot.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_03] Jay Lee's hot on anything. And it says put it on anything, it's hot sauce. Well, spicy barbecue sauce, but I bought the hot sauce one at the airport. Origins in Biloxi. It's from Biloxi. By James Lee III. If you're into pork rinds, these are great.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_04] Mm-hmm.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_03] I can't.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_04] It's Cajun hot sauce.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_03] I can't, okay. I can't say those are heart healthy.

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_04] What is on this show?

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_03] My God. Just to divert a little bit off track here. I was just laughing so funny, so hard with my sister-in-law. Because her dad's getting like a pacemaker and a valve and all this. All I hear about with the over 75 crowd is valves. Right. And Amy was like, she's like, I'm sitting in a waiting room with ancient people in Florida waiting for people who are even more ancient to get out of the hospital, get out of surgery.

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_03] And then, you know, Medicare is going broke, but we're putting valves in people that are 90. Nice. And she's like, I mean, if you want to fix things, I mean, I'm an accountant by trade. No more valves for people over 85. Like, Amy, she goes, no, I'm going to run for president on that. I'm like, you do that. I'll run as your vice president and say, we're not fixing your pacemakers either.

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_04] We're on it. So mean.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_03] But yes, it's been a big valve week. I don't know why. My uncle. A lot of valves. Her dad. Yeah. Fun. Fun. Uh, these are blackened ranch potato chips from New Orleans termites, Katie and Howard. Zaps. Nice. Are they from there? Well, this is Hanover, Pennsylvania again, these chips. But these guys brought them to me because they're blackened. They're bayou blackened. Oh, delicious.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_04] They're perfect. Oh. Oh. Surprising. They have a little tang at the end too. Last thing.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_03] Sunflower seeds. I'm a big fan. Here's the thing. Do you eat the whole shell? I do. And I spit it out like dip. Really?

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_04] Mm-hmm. Wow.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_03] Like I have dip in my mouth. Classy. Yeah, it's really fun in a car for the other passenger to watch. New Orleans termite, Gus. Big easy sunflower seed. And there's a... I like the name Gus. Gus is old school. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Dusty Slame named his new baby Sonny. I like it. Oh, I like it. Yeah, that's old school too.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_02] I should have named another one Gus.

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, these are really good. Sonny and Gus. Sonny and Gus. Yeah, be fun. Yeah. These are really good.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_04] Five stars. Five stars. Nice. And I don't know what they got. Oh, it's vinegar. That's what I'm tasting. I'm like, it's barbecue and vinegar. Nice.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_02] Wow. Which is also what? The Canadian all dressed that you don't like.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_03] It's the ketchup in that. I don't like ketchup that much. We love it up there. I know you guys are ketchup freaks. It's fine just a little bit. Totally. Like steak and shake. You don't need to go crazy and...

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_02] I don't put that much ketchup on the stuff.

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_04] But I do like it. I don't like the all dressed stuff. The ketchup here. Upcoming shows.

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_03] This weekend.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_04] Still touring.

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_03] Still going. Yeah, there's gonna be a little time off coming up. But... May 9th. The Venetian. What's not fun about Las Vegas? Holly Bobby is gonna come meet me there. Yay! I'm going to Piro's, the old, timey Italian restaurant. Oh, I have so much trouble. May 16th. Lake of the Ozarks. It's technically Camdenton. Burt Kreischer's show. I'm on it. I'm not the headliner. Just repeating that. Okay. Because my sister seems to think there's been some confusion.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_03] I'm like, look, it says the Burt Kreischer fully loaded tour. It doesn't... I'm just a comic on it. Every once in a while, it's fun to just be a comic on it. And guess what that means for a cat? No responsibility. Nope. June 26th...

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_02] Boat riding some fun.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_03] That's right. June 26th and 27th, Knoxville. It runs a makeup show from our big ice storm. Ooh, insco storm here. I'm like a mofo starting at about an hour. Because I was thinking about golfing with my neighbors. And we all decided, no. It's too crazy. And it's going to get crazier. Yeah. July 18th, Selbyville, Delaware. Yep. That's an outdoor gig. Only gig in my life I've ever worn sunglasses on. And I didn't want to look like a douchebag. But my eyes are too light to... I can't.

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_03] Not with my condis in. Can't do it. July 25th, Niagara Falls. Super duper fun. August 8th, Portland, Maine. I love going up to Maine in the summer. So fun. Nice. Go see my friend Peter Kausis. The golf guy. Mm-hmm.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_02] Golf man.

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_04] Yep. We're gonna... Wait. Where's the electric chair? You have to go get it. I will.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_03] All right. She's taking off for a minute. We need to go get something. We're gonna talk about that. First of all, I do want to say, this is how cool termites are. You guys, as fans. Some lady walked past me on a flight. I had already sat down. And she leaned in. It's probably, I don't know, 40 years old. And she goes, I'm a big fan. I'm not gonna bother you. But I just want to let you know, you're the reason I have tennis shoes on on this flight

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_03] and everyone traveling with me has tennis shoes on. And I laughed so hard. And I'm always willing to take a picture, whatever you want to do. I'll do it. But she just kept going. And I'm like, that is the awesomeness of a great fan. You're gonna throw it? Ready? Yeah. Ooh. Great. Delicate. Jesus.

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_03] Or something comfortable for you to run in that will not get, that's kind of flame retardant. You don't, you don't want your shoes burning to the wing if you're getting off the plane. You gotta get out. Or you're gonna slide down a giant slide. You don't want to land in heels. I see people in heels. And I'm like, you are this, I know. Or flip flops. The flip flops. Jesus. With the children. Are there Uggs? The children in their Uggs and their blanket. They have giant headphones on the newest and the boss. They have a blanket. And then like phone.

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_03] And Uggs and some weird high-waisted jeans or sweats. Which I have our crop top from Alo. Hello. And that's their traveling outfit. And I'm like, you don't understand. If that phone goes dead, you have nothing to do. And trust me, I just did it last weekend. I've spent hours on Southwest flying to different cities because we're running out of fucking gas. And I'm like, what? We're running out of gas. We just left Nashville. Well, I don't know. New Orleans, the weather's really bad.

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_03] We have to go to Pensacola. And this is why I don't like Southwest. Yes, I'm a snob when it comes to traveling because I have to do it every week of my life at least two or three times, if not more, depending on connecting flights. This is why I don't like Southwest. We were supposed to be going to New Orleans. We landed in Pensacola and people clapped. No, no, no, no. You do not clap when we land in the wrong city. No, don't encourage this shit behavior.

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_03] They didn't fill up the tank because the gas weighs too much. It costs too much money. So we could only circle around New Orleans once. And we're like, oh, shit, we're almost on empty. Going to Florida. And then I was like, and you can't get off in Pensacola. Oh, well, I had checked a bag, so I definitely can't. But if you hadn't checked a bag, no water, no service because it was turbulent the whole way, which it was. I will say sometimes I use that as an excuse, but this time it truly was a shit show of just...

[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_03] I feel like I'm in a Pinto from 1972. You young people won't know what that is. It's a car. It's a car. I don't know what you'd compare it to today. A Ford, no, a versus.

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_02] It's the spirit airlines of a...

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, and oh my God, we're going to talk about spirit, but do not clap when your airline lands in the wrong city. That's something I think we all need to agree upon. Yeah. And then the pilots are jokey, schmokey. No, I'm not in the mood for jokey, schmokey. No. I want to go to Biloxi. Right. You... Delta? Fuck that all up. Okay. So I pivot it. I'll go to New Orleans. I'll rent a car. By the way, if you ever rent a car in New Orleans, one of my favorite cities.

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_03] However, rental car? Get on the bus. We have a 25-minute ride. What? To the rental car place. Shut up. 25 minutes. We could just drive to Pensacola. Yeah. I just wanted to get off in Pensacola. Give me my stupid suitcase.

[00:10:32] Ugh.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_03] So, anyway. So you made it. I did make it. But, you know, hours later... And then they won't... There's no, like, water or soda or drinks. No service. So you took the water, you know, if I had a bottle of water, which I don't go through TSA with water, hopefully, some weeks, I forget. But, um, now you're forcing me to buy the $8 bottle of water. Uh-huh. If I want to take a bottle of water. Uh-huh. On South.

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_03] It just gets shittier by the day.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_03] And I still like traveling. But this kind of...

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_02] You have to get a Stanley.

[00:11:09] Yeah.

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_03] I don't think Delta people would clap. I'm not... I just think there's more experienced travelers. Is that a nice way to put it? Uh-huh. Experienced travelers on Delta. Ugh.

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_02] Do you write an email?

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_03] No. I don't write emails.

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_02] I know.

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_03] I never complain. I don't write comments on boards, unless it's people that might... Termite sitters want to ask a question or whatever. I'll do that. But I don't... I never write negative shit on stuff if I don't like it. I just move on. I don't. You're a defeatist. No. No? No. Because everything I'm seeing is free.

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_03] So if I don't like it... Well, I'm talking about online, but the Southwest, what am I going to say? You morons forgot to get gas? Yeah. I mean, I... You just take a business off. That's the... There's no customer service anymore. No. None of that's happening.

[00:11:58] [SPEAKER_04] No.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_03] We're going to... I have to call Bobby in five minutes, but...

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_03] Biloxi was great. The Beau Revage is wonderful.

[00:12:05] [SPEAKER_04] Do you feel that travel day requires a goat?

[00:12:08] [SPEAKER_03] This is how I felt when we landed in Pensacola, which it's also raining there. It was storming. And then when they clapped. A lot of them. And then there's this guy next to me. He's like this old guy in this weird suit, and he has a Bible that's the size of four Betty Crocker cookbooks. And he has a red Bic pen. I haven't seen a Bic pen in 20 years. And he's outlining... I'm like, when I... That's his travel Bible. I love the Bible. Don't get me wrong.

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_03] But when I see it on a plane... I know. I don't want emails. I just think, oh, we're all gonna die. That's what I think. Can you read something else for the next hour and not outline revelations in the end of the world? Could you do that? Jesus. Nah. But Biloxi is always worth the trip. The casino is so nice. Beau Revage. The showroom, you don't even... It's so nice. Because some casinos just kind of skimp on that, and they put out a bunch of chairs, and there you go.

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_03] Others build a real theater. And Biloxi did it. And the woman that was in charge of me there was so fun and so great. And then I went to Mary Mahoney's. The woman in charge is Sherry. And she's young, and she's just on it, and hip, and cool, and fun. And the whole experience is wonderful. You got your crab claws. Yeah. And then they were like, oh, you know, they did not have to at all pay for that rental car, and they just did that on their own. Oh, that's nice.

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_03] It was a nice gesture, but never in a million years would I have. I wouldn't have. I'm like, I got it. I'll get here. Don't worry about it. But just very nice little things like that. And then they'd give you... I had to get up like at 3.30 in the morning to get a car to go to the airport. Because you've got to start early, or as you will know, you will not make it. And the driver's like, yeah, we're going to pass a place on the left here called the Sugar Shack. You might want to take a look at that. It's fucking five to four. And I go, what's the Sugar Shack?

[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_03] And he's like, it's an African American home that is also an entertainment destination. Yeah. And I'm like, what? It's so... We go by it. It's like a 1960s ranch. Uh-huh. Like my Aunt Nan's house, right? On the way to the airport. On the... Five to four in the morning. And I mean, it might have been 4.15 by then, because it's a 20 minute ride. And we're almost to the airport. There must have been 50 cars in this person's front yard. No way.

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, just the front yard is a parking lot. It looked like they were letting people park there to go to a stadium. An event. An event. No. I am so fascinated. If any of you Biloxi people can tell me what is going on in there... At the Sugar Shack. At the Sugar Shack. Mm-hmm. Very near the Biloxi airport. Um... It's a known thing. I'm all in. That's funny. And then I went to the Half Shell Oyster House and had... If you've never had a char-grilled oyster where they put the Cajun seasoning and the Parmesan,

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_03] the pinko thing, whatever. I saw your video. Oh my God. It looks ridiculous. They just... Yes. And swung by for a little golf at Fallen Oak Golf Course, which is very fancy and very nice. Cool. And I love Southern golf. I love the trees. The moss. The moss. The moss. It's a swamp. And love every... Must have been a swamp person in my past life. All right. Before I get into anything, we're gonna call...

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_04] Swamp people are cool.

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_03] ...Holly Bobby because he's a busy person and I'm already 15 minutes late. We're getting low on candles. Because Chapo wouldn't leave the house. I know I don't have any candles. Who? I got Travis and Barry Manilow. Bad representation. Barry keeps pushing his shows. I'm worried about him. I'm worried about Dolly. We're... The 80-somethings are not on their best horse this week. No. Um... We'll get some more. Do you guys know the comedian Tom Papa? He's texting me, but...

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_03] He hates it when people won't shut their windows on morning flights. And I hate it too. So I sent him a picture. And he was like, I travel with three eye masks now. And I'm like... That's not enough. I'm gonna send him a really girly one. No. Because mine are satin. Mine are fancy. Oh, fancy. He's probably got the free one you get if you go on a long trip. The free eye mask. Yeah, I'm gonna ask for his address. I don't know if he listens to this podcast or not.

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_04] Get the ones with like the giant eyelashes. Yeah, exactly. Bonjour, Madame de Bels.

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_03] Oh! Oh, so we're not staying dumb in two languages. We're learning French and Spanish.

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_01] I'm mixing it up. Oh! Mixing it up. Nice.

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_03] Well, Holly Bobby, we're checking in. And I figured... Here's the thing. I don't usually pay any attention to the Met Gala. I don't really even understand it. What I do know of it is from downtown Abbey. What? Because when she fought the old opera house, they built the other opera house to compete with the thing. And that's what is currently the Met. Understood. The Metropolitan.

[00:17:11] [SPEAKER_02] Thank you.

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah, yeah. So, but I know the Met Gala was last night. And I put you in charge of telling us the highs and lows. I know my high... I only have one high because it was Stevie.

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_01] I knew you were gonna start there. I just knew it. Did you talk about it in Queen News or is this the...

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_03] We're just talking about it now. Yep. Because what I... Here's what I did love the most.

[00:17:35] Okay.

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_03] The Met Gala. Um, and you're gonna read the description of how you're supposed to dress for me. And if you still have that. Um, because you're... It's all about what you wear. And Stevie basically just wore her own clothes.

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_01] She did. I knew you were gonna say that because it was just like... I mean, Madonna showed up with a birdcage on her head. What?

[00:18:01] [SPEAKER_03] She came with her top hat. Yep. The jacket she wore on the Tux tour. And then a bigger skirt, but a version of the skirt she usually would wear anyway. Um, but I like the fuck you on that one. Mm-hmm. Oh, you're gonna tell me what I'm supposed to dress up like? Mm-hmm. You know what? I'm gonna wear whatever I want. Let me go get something out of the closet. Ah!

[00:18:19] [SPEAKER_01] That one she also sang with our hero. No, Duelites. No, Sabrina Carpenter.

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_03] Sabrina's wonderful. Yes, I know they sang Landslide. And I don't, as we all know, I don't know the song Espresso. Still haven't managed to listen to that. I don't know Sabrina Carpenter. I know she's very popular with the children and my nieces and all that. And they say she's better than Tate McRae, which really, to me, might as well just have said that all in Chinese, whatever. Um, and, um...

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_01] And you know I can't pick favorites because I gotta book them. You can't. No.

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_03] I did listen to Sabrina and Stevie, and she did a very nice job. She sang. I know, but is there anything spectacular? I'm not seeing it. Just saying. Uh-oh.

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_01] Kathy, Kathy, when we're still doing this podcast in 20 years, we're gonna be talking about Sabrina Carpenter.

[00:19:15] [SPEAKER_03] I don't think so. We're still gonna be talking about Karen Carpenter. Oh. Who was multi-talented and could play the drums and sadly died of anorexia for the children who don't know any of that. I'd go listen to Karen Carpenter.

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah, she makes me cry when I hear her music. It makes me cry all the time. Well... You know, superstar. You know?

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_03] Rainy days and Mondays. Rainy days.

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_01] And I'm in love with somebody that's not gonna love her back and it's just like, oh my God.

[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_03] Long ago, and oh so far away, I fell in love with you before the second show. Okay, that's enough. Um, alright, so... Exactly. We can't sing more than four seconds or Richard Carpenter will come after us. Nope. Um, so Stevie had a grand entrance. It was all great.

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_03] And her manager, who also sometimes is at my golf course, I saw her in the... Yeah, I know, right? I'm like, what are you doing out here? Happiness. Like, they're in the middle of nowhere. Like, you know, I'm by Nash. I'm 15 minutes from downtown Nashville, but still kinda in the country. Like... Right. Yeah. You've got problems. Um, but anyway. Um, and then...

[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_01] Do you know what the theme is? Oh, oh, you still have more in some...

[00:20:31] [SPEAKER_03] Well, I just wanna say the one thing. There's a picture of Stevie, Madonna, and Cher that is epic.

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_04] Uh-oh.

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_03] That was epic. Yeah. And Madonna looks relatively normal compared to what she is capable of doing. And Cher looked cool, but nothing outrageous.

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_01] No, and Cher doesn't need to do anything outrageous, because she's Cher, she's done it, she's been there, you know, she just needs to show up. And she looked fantastic. Yeah. Donna looked good, too. She did. She just did not like the headdress with the bird cage on her.

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_03] I gotta Google it.

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_01] I don't... I think that's...

[00:21:04] [SPEAKER_03] Was there... Well, it would only be awesome if there was an actual bird in it. Like... Like a macaw? Yeah, a parrot... Well, or... No, like a big... A big fucker, like a macaw. You know, those big giant parrots that cuss and stuff. Like, if it was cussing. Like, there's those ones in England, they had to hide them because they were cussing too much in front of their children. Um, it would just be funny to have a big, big parrot in your head going, fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

[00:21:34] [SPEAKER_01] All right. Well, so, um... Okay, I started... You know, I greeted you with some French. So, let me read to you what the Met Gala theme was and see if you understand this. Is this... Is this what it would have...

[00:21:47] [SPEAKER_03] Is this what it would have said had I gotten an invitation?

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_01] Yes. Okay. The 2026 Met Gala theme is Costume Art, which explores the centrality of the dress body as the common thread connecting all galleries in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The accompanying dress code, fashion is art, celebrates the relationship between garments and art focusing on silhouettes that explore, enhance, or conceal the form.

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_03] Oh my... What? I would have had to RSVP, I'm sorry, I don't understand what I'm supposed to do. So, therefore, I will not be attending. I don't get it. I don't understand.

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_01] I... I... I kind of don't get it either.

[00:22:33] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, if you... If you want to say... A theme should be pretty simple, I would think... That... Seriously, all joking aside, I do not understand. I can't put those words together in my head and make it work into what I'm supposed to do. I don't... If you say it's art, okay. Like, Stevie Nicks could have done a Magritte thing because she loves her top hat and he liked top hats and then no head. I get it. I get it. Or a Monet or something. But, like, what is that?

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_03] I don't...

[00:23:04] [SPEAKER_01] I guess fashion is art. I mean, look at, like... I mean, look what they created. I mean, if you look at some of those gowns and... And, you know, I mean, look at that bunny. I mean, that's kind of artistic. He... He dressed up as, like, a middle-aged white man.

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, I think he looks... I thought he looked like he was 90.

[00:23:23] [SPEAKER_01] Okay. I'm just kidding. Okay. You're being nice. Yeah. I was being kind. Yes. An old... An old white man. Yeah. I think it was like... I think it was a... A slap back at, like, all the protests from the Super... That's what I think his...

[00:23:39] [SPEAKER_03] Oh! Oh! See, you're so deep, Bobby. I didn't think any of that. I just thought, oh, he decided to go as an old man. That's weird.

[00:23:50] [SPEAKER_01] Well, that's why you have me, Kathy. Yeah.

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_03] Were there any other standouts or low points?

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_01] Well, Kylie Jenner went... You know, the Kardashian-Jenner family, they all kind of had the same thing. They, like, wore, like, fake, like, body plates, you know, that looked like they were nude with nipples. So, I don't know what their artistic statement was. Hmm. But, if you look at it, they all have, like, these, like, plastic or silicone upper body plates on. So, I don't know what the art is there.

[00:24:25] [SPEAKER_01] I'm going to have to dig deeper to see what they were trying to...

[00:24:27] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah, what are they trying to express?

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_01] I understand that. Yeah, but I did... Oh, here. I also... They did say that Bad Bunny used to date Kendall Jenner.

[00:24:37] [SPEAKER_03] I don't know any of these people. Like, they could be my UPS driver and I'd have no idea who they are. They're all Kardashians.

[00:24:42] [SPEAKER_01] Well, they... No, you would have spoken hot UPS driver.

[00:24:45] [SPEAKER_03] True that, yeah.

[00:24:46] [SPEAKER_04] What is that happening out here?

[00:24:50] [SPEAKER_03] Something along... There was something a long time ago about a sex tape and I don't know. I don't even... To me, they're just vapid, vacant people. I don't even understand.

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_01] But they're what... Kris Jenner, who's the matriarch of the country.

[00:25:02] [SPEAKER_03] Yes, I do. I know her. I know the mom. Okay.

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_01] And I have worked with her. I've worked with all the Kardashians and the Jenners. I will tell you this. Kris Jenner raised those kids to have manners. They always say thank you. They rank personalized thank you notes. Oh. They're polite. They're on time. They're professional. Okay. Oh. So, don't take that away from them.

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_03] I will not. And they make a lot of money. They're very good business people. I do know... I see the products they push and they get like a million dollars a tweet or whatever a post. Right.

[00:25:33] [SPEAKER_01] And we're talking too much about the Met Gala because we have to talk about the Elvis documentary. I watched it, but what about the Met Gala? So, Bad Bunny used to date Kendall Jenner, who is Kim Kardashian's sister.

[00:25:47] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_01] Kris Jenner's daughter. And he's a supermodel. Okay. And they all had an uncomfortable run in on the red carpet. Oh. So, they ran into each other. Oh. So, it's like, yeah, they used to date and you know, blah, blah, blah. And so, but I am surprised that they did recognize Bad Bunny because he didn't look like Bad Bunny.

[00:26:06] [SPEAKER_03] No, he sure did not. I didn't know who it was. I thought, you know who I thought it was? I thought it was the guy from the beer commercials that says I'm the most interesting man in the world. I did. I thought it was him and I thought, you know what? That's cool they invited him. He's also smoking hot. Because he's smoking hot and he's cool.

[00:26:22] [SPEAKER_01] I thought it was Colonel Sander.

[00:26:27] [SPEAKER_03] Well, his hair was pretty fluffy for sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. I don't always drink Doce. I do like Bud Light.

[00:26:38] [SPEAKER_01] Oh man, that's funny. It's funny. But I do, I was thinking about the termites this weekend because you might have seen my post that my nephew's first communion was this weekend in Santa Point, in the beach. Oh my God. I have some advice for the termites. I was sitting there and I'm supposed to be praying, you know, church, but I wasn't. I was drifting off. You're on your phone.

[00:27:04] [SPEAKER_01] And I was looking around and I was like, oh my God, these people that are here, the parents and the grandparents and stuff at this church, at this Catholic church. I'm like, these people are hot. This is where the termites, the single termites need to get off the apps, get baptized Catholic and go to church.

[00:27:26] [SPEAKER_03] To find a smoking hot person?

[00:27:30] [SPEAKER_05] Yes. Okay.

[00:27:31] [SPEAKER_03] Well, I'm going to look around because in two weeks I have to go to my nephew's graduation from a Catholic high school. So now I'm going to scan the crowd and see if there's smoking hot relatives of the people that are included. But I think maybe it's only parents and grandparents. I don't, I got to find all that out. I don't know, but I like it.

[00:27:49] [SPEAKER_00] We need to start a hashtag hot Catholics.

[00:27:52] [SPEAKER_03] Oh yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I'll start it.

[00:27:57] [SPEAKER_01] I'm giving a shout out to the Catholic church.

[00:27:59] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. The fucking hot people. All right. Did you watch the Elvis movie?

[00:28:03] [SPEAKER_01] I did. I watched it yesterday. I was mesmerized. Um, I can see where you, you might've got, you know, underwhelmed just because it was a little redundant. Yes. But thank you. I mean, I, well, I was mesmerized. I was like, how did they find this footage and the way that they edited it? Like, you know, I, I, I just loved it. Like, you know, from rehearsal to like stage performances back and forth and the songs. And, you know, I, I just loved it.

[00:28:33] [SPEAKER_01] What did you think?

[00:28:34] [SPEAKER_03] Like, well, I think I had heard a description of it saying it. And I kept hearing Vegas footage that had not been seen. So in my mind, I was hoping for more of seeing Vegas in the seventies, like actual Vegas. And they do show some of that. Like, I just like to see what does the showroom look like back then? What does backstage look like?

[00:29:00] [SPEAKER_03] Like, what is his, you know, what is his day look like for Elvis? If you're the performer person, like, and I, some of the songs that he's singing, his voice is wonderful. Everybody forgets that because he became, you know, Elvis, that guy, the hound dog guy, but his voice is so great. Some of the songs I think went on too long. Like we could have edited that. But I think for the children, especially, I do think it's worth whatever.

[00:29:29] [SPEAKER_03] I think I paid $24. I don't know. Maybe, maybe wait till it's 10. Yeah. Or free. Okay. Well, see, it's already been discounted. Good. I would give it a B. I, I was hoping for more backstage. I think I was hoping for more backstage glimpses into his, his life. And we got a lot of onstage performances, which is great if you're a super Elvis fan.

[00:29:58] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. You know? Yeah. But how many people back then in the 60s and 70s were, were talking to the camera or talking to their folks?

[00:30:04] [SPEAKER_03] That's the problem. They didn't have that. No, they, no, no, nobody was filming. Like there were a couple scenes of him in the car or the limo or whatever. And they're goofing around. Nobody was filming shit back then. So, I mean, I mean, God, I don't even comedy central a long time ago said we need a picture of you before age 10. I'm like, I don't think so, man.

[00:30:26] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, my mom might have like a school headshot, but like, I, they didn't know that, you know, there, there's no, like, we don't have what those guys have now. Like, and I don't care. I'm actually glad nothing I did was documented. Um, for course. Yeah. I mean, yeah, you know,

[00:30:47] [SPEAKER_01] Of course. But also she like, um, I do, there was one song where I was kind of like uncomfortable. You remember the song, Hulk salad, Annie, when he was singing that about how it would go out the fields and it would poke and that's all they lived on. And I was like, I was like, Ooh, this is a little, this is a little dicey.

[00:31:11] [SPEAKER_05] I think I, I think I shut it off before that.

[00:31:13] [SPEAKER_03] I don't, I don't remember that. Hulk salad.

[00:31:17] [SPEAKER_01] But I don't even know what, no, what's Hulk?

[00:31:21] [SPEAKER_03] I don't even know what that is.

[00:31:22] [SPEAKER_01] I think it's like some kind of weed or something. What is Hulk?

[00:31:25] [SPEAKER_03] Polk? Like James Polk, the president.

[00:31:28] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, what's Polk salad, Annie, about?

[00:31:30] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, Polk. P-O-L-K. Oh, Polk. Yeah.

[00:31:33] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[00:31:34] [SPEAKER_02] It's the lifestyle of a poor rural Southern girl in her family.

[00:31:36] [SPEAKER_03] It's a lifestyle of a poor rural Southern girl in her family.

[00:31:40] [SPEAKER_02] It's poke salad.

[00:31:41] [SPEAKER_03] It's poke salad. It's poke salad. Like tuna poke? Okay.

[00:31:43] [SPEAKER_02] No, that's fancy. A dish of cooked greens made from poke weed. That's weeds.

[00:31:50] [SPEAKER_04] See? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:31:53] [SPEAKER_01] All right. Hmm. Okay. My question to you, Katherine, is you're going to be in Vegas this week and they did do the Vegas concert at the International Ballroom, which is now the Westgate. Yes. And Antelope performed, right? Yes. I did find it a little uncomfortable how he went into the crowd and kissed all these people. Yeah, that was really weird.

[00:32:15] [SPEAKER_03] That was weird. He's full on making out with people. Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God. Like that would never be. And then one lady was so into the kiss that she started like trying to grab his clothes off. And I'm like, hey, hey, hey, where's the, um, we got security anywhere? I'm like, if not. So I'll.

[00:32:31] [SPEAKER_01] I was thinking, yeah, I was thinking you need to go into the audience.

[00:32:38] [SPEAKER_03] Just start kissing the termites, kissing everybody. You know, I'll say this before we go over because it made me laugh so hard. So in 19, it was either 76 or 77. My mom and dad went to Las Vegas on a pipe fitter junket when you just got to go with all the pipe fitter people, whatever. And somehow my dad got two tickets to Elvis, which was my mom's severe performer ever. And he was like, he was like me with Elvis. Like, yeah, he's good, you know, but like, I'm not going to die if I don't see him.

[00:33:07] [SPEAKER_03] Like he's anyway, they go, they come home. I have never heard two reviews that were more diabolically different. I said, I said to my mom, I go, well, how was Elvis? And she said, oh, he was wonderful. He's so handsome. And he sang every song and he threw out scarves to the crowd. And I would, I, my dad did not look like he was in agreement.

[00:33:33] [SPEAKER_03] And I go, dad, he goes, he is an overweight drug addict, clearly, who doesn't know the words to any of his songs anymore. Cause he's high as a goddamn kite. And I can't believe we paid for that. I'm like, wow, you two were in the same building and watched the same show. She gave it five stars. You're giving it negative stars. Cause he can't remember the words to it. And he goes, oh, he makes the audience sing. Cause he's a drug addict. He's on dope. And he can't remember the words.

[00:34:02] [SPEAKER_03] I'm like, okay, he's on dope.

[00:34:05] [SPEAKER_01] It's so funny that Jack said that because I kept thinking the same thing. I kept going. I think it's like, he started to sing love me tender when he was supposed to sing hell and dog. He made a mistake and he hit himself and slapped himself in the face. Yeah. And then he goes, I don't drink. I don't do. I don't drink. I don't smoke. And I'm just like, no, but you do.

[00:34:27] [SPEAKER_03] Right. But you just had eight hits of hydrocodone. And I understand lights are hot, but I'm always cold. So I never sweat on stage, but I do see if you're singing and all that, but he was like sweating when he walked out there. Like you haven't even done anything yet. And you're a sweat monster. Like what's going to happen? What's going to happen when you really get geared up? That's funny.

[00:34:53] [SPEAKER_01] And then they said he did three shows a day sometimes. Oh my God. 1100 shows in like a span of nine years. I'm just like, of course they had to keep him awake. Of course.

[00:35:03] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Because Colonel Parker is getting 50% of that is that asshole managers taking 50%. So Colonel Parker needs his ass out there.

[00:35:13] Yes.

[00:35:13] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. It's gross. All right. All right, Bobby. We'll talk to you next week. Well, I'll see you this week in Vegas. And, um, you know, we should go over. I want to see that, that theater in the daytime. I've only seen it at night. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go to the Westgate.

[00:35:30] [SPEAKER_04] Fun. Okay. All right. Adels, try to come with us, Adels. I'll try, Holly, Bobby. We'll see you. See you there. Bye. Bye. Bye. I love Bob. He's wonderful. I know. Um. You're his favorite sibling. I know. I wish Bob would have been one of my siblings. He's perfect.

[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_03] He's just perfect. Um, and it's nice to have somebody that you've known since you're 25 years old.

[00:35:57] [SPEAKER_02] True.

[00:35:57] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. And, and everything's exactly the same.

[00:36:00] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know anybody from 25.

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_03] Really?

[00:36:03] [SPEAKER_02] Mm-mm.

[00:36:04] [SPEAKER_03] I know quite a few. So that's a, well, I, well, my friend Jim, since I've been 15. My friend Dory. I know a lot. I was 28. I round down. Okay. Um. Thanks. All right. We're moving on into the actual rest of the podcast. Um, a couple things from the mailbox.

[00:36:21] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:36:21] [SPEAKER_03] Um, this is Anna. Hello, Anna. A lesbomite from Connecticut. Lesbomite. Um, she wanted to show us that there are good things about Southwest, which is very timely because I just said I couldn't handle my trip this week with them. Um. That's a lot. They have a new program where you can ship a case of wine for free. And she gave me all the, it's called sip and ship.

[00:36:46] [SPEAKER_04] Oh.

[00:36:46] [SPEAKER_03] So let's say you go to Napa or up where in Sonoma somewhere, you can check a free, you can check a case of wine for free when you fly from select cities on Southwest Airlines with sip and ship.

[00:36:58] [SPEAKER_04] Cool.

[00:36:59] [SPEAKER_03] Um, wine lovers, this one's for you. You can bring home a case of wine from your favorite wine country destination for free. No check, baggage fees or rapid rebard membership required. It's going to help save you $45. And listen to me, Territz. When you get off your flight, because Napa is very far away, very far away, you're going to need a case of wine to erase your brain from whatever just happened.

[00:37:22] [SPEAKER_04] Totally.

[00:37:25] [SPEAKER_03] You're going to need, please participate in the sip and ship. And Anna, I don't know where you found that, but that's a miracle because I've never heard of it. And I am up on the travel stuff because I have to be not because I want to be. Uh, thanks. Yes. One more thing from the mail. Um, termite Catherine. Um, uh, she's been a fan for a long time since last comic standing, not a sports fan, but she likes my little sports updates. I appreciate knowing that.

[00:37:53] [SPEAKER_03] Cause if you guys are not into it, I want to know I'm here to do the research all week for what you guys want. A lot of it's what I want, but a lot of it's free for you. Nice. She would like to, to, um, suggest, uh, Florence of Florence and the Machine, her real name's Florence, to be a queen. And I love Florence. I've seen her in St. Louis. I missed her in Nashville just last week. So sad. I had to work. I know, I know, I know. She's better outside. I love Florence, but Florence doesn't really do.

[00:38:23] [SPEAKER_03] She's very good youngster. She does her shows and she just doesn't create a lot of news, but I will always mention, um, she's in America right now. And if you could go see her, you should. Um, but yes. Um, she also said, I'm doing the work of the Lord with my quote, stray cats. Uh, my neighbors came over last night to eat dinner and Ceddie, um, Cedric, he lurked.

[00:38:49] [SPEAKER_04] Oh. Yeah.

[00:38:49] [SPEAKER_03] He came to a dinner party out on the deck.

[00:38:52] [SPEAKER_02] Does he, does he like men? Let him just review.

[00:38:55] [SPEAKER_03] He only likes everybody the same amount. It's six, it's six feet. He's COVID rules. Six feet away. Six feet away. See, see, he's a COVID cat. Six feet away. I think he's getting healthier though. He's bulking up. Nice. Yep. The amount he can eat is astonishing. And then I think, does he have a tapeworm? Cause he's just, I'm not going to get into it. I can't, it's too much to think about. Um, so that's a little team email stuff. Um, so much King and Queen news.

[00:39:21] [SPEAKER_04] Mm-hmm.

[00:39:24] [SPEAKER_03] Well, Queen Stevie, you could just go online and watch all the videos. She sang four songs. I'm guessing she charged Jeff Bezos five million bucks.

[00:39:34] [SPEAKER_00] Yes.

[00:39:35] [SPEAKER_03] Let's count it. One million per song. Yep. And then I'm going to need a little run and scratch.

[00:39:39] [SPEAKER_02] Mm-hmm.

[00:39:40] [SPEAKER_03] Cause I got some more skirts I gotta get.

[00:39:42] [SPEAKER_02] I got nine skirts on.

[00:39:43] [SPEAKER_03] And I'm going to need a sprinter band for, and, and, and playing the guitar, Waddy Wachtell for the children. He was, he's a guitar player who's probably also a hundred years old, but he was in the band Little Feet. You won't know that who that is if you're not older too, but you could go look it up if you felt so inclined. He's one of the greatest guitarist. He had a little problem with the law there a while back, 20 years ago. I don't even understand what happened there, but whatever. He's 78. 78. He'll be 79 in two weeks. In two weeks. Yeah.

[00:40:11] [SPEAKER_03] It was Waddy playing landslide. I'm like, oh my God, he made the trip. Good for him. His name is Robert.

[00:40:18] [SPEAKER_02] You know that?

[00:40:19] [SPEAKER_03] I did not know. Yeah. No.

[00:40:20] [SPEAKER_02] Robert Wachtell.

[00:40:21] [SPEAKER_03] I really liked the band Little Feet. Mm-hmm. Back in the day.

[00:40:24] [SPEAKER_02] Mm-hmm. He's got a new band called Sticky Fingers.

[00:40:26] [SPEAKER_03] Oh my God. These old people. Oh.

[00:40:29] [SPEAKER_04] What are you doing?

[00:40:33] [SPEAKER_03] Post Malone. A lot going on. A lot going on here with him and Jelly Belly. Yep. Jelly Roll. They're... You know, you can't hide it. Nope. Go on Ticketmaster, click, the stadium is 75% empty. What happened? Right. I think Jelly Roll's overexposed. I think he needs to just chill out for a while and not be heard from. He's at wrestling. He's on comedy shows. Okay. He's... I like... I've met him. He couldn't be a nicer human being in the time that I spent with him.

[00:41:02] [SPEAKER_03] Um, but I think he's sending out a lot of mixed messages. There's a lot of Jesus stuff and then MAGA stuff and then not. And then he says, no, I didn't. It's all people... I didn't say that? Idiot. It's on type. Yeah. We got you saying that. But is it... I don't think people understand. He's pissing everyone off in one way, shape or form.

[00:41:26] [SPEAKER_04] Who are you?

[00:41:26] [SPEAKER_03] So I don't think that's helping post. But I also think, just in general, and mark my words, termites, because they try to do it to me and I will not be bullied.

[00:41:36] [SPEAKER_02] Oh boy.

[00:41:37] [SPEAKER_03] I love saying that. At six years old. Stop bullying me. Stop it. Knock it off. I don't fall for that shit anymore. I have... I have enough money saved up that I don't need this shit. I will not be bullied into bigger venues. Right. That's what everybody wants. Yep. Hey, well you sold these shows up. Why don't you move? Up. Why don't I not? Why don't you just be happy that we sold the show up? Let's do it in the other one. Termites got to see me in a normal venue. Right. Like a normal...

[00:42:07] [SPEAKER_03] place. Yeah. Everybody jumping up their stadiums and arenas. I think a lot of people are going to get their asses handed to them. And I'm here to watch it. Boom, boom, boom. And Dusty Slay, my friend, the comedian... Oh, I did his podcast. Aaron, and it's called Public Figures. If you want to go... That's Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay, and Brian, my other friend. We'll put it in the schnotes. Yeah. And I love those guys. I had a blast in the middle of the day on a Monday. But...

[00:42:37] [SPEAKER_03] I forgot what I was saying. Oh, Dusty said... Here's the problem. Like, he went online because he likes Post Malone. And he's like, I don't want to pay $63 for a nosebleed seat.

[00:42:49] [SPEAKER_04] Right.

[00:42:50] [SPEAKER_03] Like, I'm paying $63 if you get two. Now we're up to $100 and, you know, with fees and all that horse shit. $175. Haven't bought a beer. Haven't parked. Haven't gotten anything to eat. Like, not for a shitty seat. Right. So, either lower all the ticket prices and say everybody can come. I try to keep my ticket prices. I'm 100% aware of what they are. Yep. Now there's a few venues I have no control. Casinos and stuff like that I don't control. But the theater ones, I have a say-so.

[00:43:20] [SPEAKER_03] Right. And I say do not put them over this amount. If you're seeing them online for crazy amounts, that is not me. That is not the correct website. If I have to have one more discussion. With your mother. With my mom.

[00:43:32] With my mom. With my mom. With my mom.

[00:43:34] [SPEAKER_03] Vicki. Do you know your tickets in Omaha, Nebraska are $800? Mom, that is so goddamn impossible. Look.

[00:43:42] [SPEAKER_02] No.

[00:43:43] [SPEAKER_03] Well, a friend of mine at golf went on, well, your friend went on some resale site and then it jumped to a different performer because it ain't me. Right. And maybe it's Kathy Griffin. I don't know. Maybe I, whatever. Um, so post, it's not going well.

[00:44:01] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:44:01] [SPEAKER_03] Um, Tom Brady attended the Kentucky Derby. We'll be talking about that later. Okay. He looked very handsome. Cher was at the Met Gala being so cool and so Cher. And like Bob said, she doesn't have to get dressed up anymore. Being Cher. She just wore a bunch of leather, black leather and looked great. Mm-hmm. And. Oh, Dolly. Yeah.

[00:44:20] [SPEAKER_02] Sad times.

[00:44:21] [SPEAKER_03] She, she put out a video. It's quite long. Mm-hmm. For that kind of video. Um, she's responding to treatment well. She looks great. The, whatever filter she used, I'm gonna start using that. I don't even know. And she's funny and she looks fine, but she's canceled the Vegas thing. Yeah. So even though against my Catholic guilt of spending that amount of money, I decided to do it. And since I forgot to have children, when I hear my siblings talking about what college

[00:44:51] [SPEAKER_03] is gonna cost, I'm like, well, I can go to Dolly Parton. Look what they're spending. I can go to Dolly Parton. Look at this money these little people are costing. I don't have any of those costs. And then I justified it in my Catholic guilt ridden self because Dolly usually gives all her money away. Right. So I'm just passing the money along. It was a ridiculous amount of money. I'm aware of, believe me, I am aware of it. But I guess I'll get the money back because she canceled. Yeah. So sad times. But she says she's still working on stuff. You know. Yeah.

[00:45:21] [SPEAKER_03] We'll just, hopefully, whatever she's saying, the treatments are going well. Good. Great. Um, we're moving on. I'm gonna save this one for next week because it's good.

[00:45:30] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:45:30] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Well, we've had a lot of King and Queen news and a lot of Holly Bobby so far. So we're moving into the other stuff. News. Update.

[00:45:39] Update. Yeah.

[00:45:40] [SPEAKER_04] Update. You forgot to.

[00:45:44] [SPEAKER_03] Well, by the way, I don't want to forget the what am I watching segment, but I haven't watched. I have nothing good. If anybody wants to send me shows that you love, I've just been watching hockey.

[00:45:55] [SPEAKER_04] Well, what about that?

[00:45:56] [SPEAKER_03] Hockey.

[00:45:57] Hockey.

[00:45:58] [SPEAKER_03] I love hockey playoffs. I love them. And they, oh my God, the other night, I was so tired when I got home from Biloxi. It was just a crazy fun weekend. But I was like, okay, I'll watch it. It was, um, oh gosh, no, I can't remember. The Wild. No. Oh yeah. Shit. It was The Wild and the Avalanche. And the Avalanche.

[00:46:22] [SPEAKER_02] I think it's the highest scoring first game ever.

[00:46:24] [SPEAKER_03] Highest scoring playoff game. I've never seen hockey go so crazy. The first period. Boom, boom, boom. Colorado. Three goals. And I'm like, oh, if you're a Minnesota person, this is a terrible position to be in. But then Minnesota. Boom, boom. Two right back. Now it's three, two. It goes on and on and on. And then it was like five, five, six, six. I couldn't turn it off, but I'm like struggling to stay awake. Nine, six was the final. Yeah. Fifteen goals.

[00:46:47] [SPEAKER_04] Fifteen goals.

[00:46:48] [SPEAKER_03] You know what? Youngsters in the locker room. We need to have a talk about defense. Yeah. Both of you. All teams. Everyone that was in the building tonight. Totally. We're going to sit down and learn about defense because, but I'm all for it. I'm like, fuck defense. This is the most exciting thing I've seen in a long time. Anyway, so I don't have any new shows to recommend because I don't have any. Um, update.

[00:47:13] [SPEAKER_02] You got a better one than that. Come on.

[00:47:15] [SPEAKER_03] Update.

[00:47:15] [SPEAKER_02] There you go.

[00:47:18] [SPEAKER_03] Um, a runaway Waymo in San Francisco. Oh no. Uh, there's a picture of the guy, uh, young enough. Um, he got, this is a giant mistake for the children, for the children. Well, this is probably for old people too. Um, don't put your shit in the trunk of a Waymo ever.

[00:47:40] [SPEAKER_04] I never thought of that.

[00:47:41] [SPEAKER_03] Well, he got dropped off and the Waymo took off with all of his shit in the trunk. Oh God. Yep. His luggage, his, he was, he was stranded without clothes, work materials, uh, everything.

[00:47:54] [SPEAKER_00] Work materials.

[00:47:56] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:47:57] [SPEAKER_03] Update. We have an update on Pablo Escobar's cocaine hippos. Now, if you listen to this podcast a lot, you will know we are keeping track of the hippos. What are we going to do? We're supposed to call the herd and then we're going to kill a bunch of them. Yep. Well, an Indian guy, Anant Ambini, the son of billionaire Mukesh Ambini, has offered to take in 80 hippos.

[00:48:24] [SPEAKER_04] Oh.

[00:48:25] [SPEAKER_03] He's a billionaire. They're living in Colombia. He would like them moved to India to be part of his wildlife sanctuary. Now, here's the thing. He's like relocated. Anant, this is the guy who wants to do it. I'm not sure Anant understands how much hippos will eat other, other nice things in your wildlife sanctuary. Right. What have you got? Do you have, yeah, I don't know what you got going on over there, but they are not friendly new residents. Um. They're not friendly.

[00:48:54] [SPEAKER_03] Ah, they, he's a, he's putting the offer. Okay. And he's willing to do it. Now, here's the next question. How do we get them over to India?

[00:49:06] [SPEAKER_04] Gotta call FedEx. It's gotta be a boat. A boat?

[00:49:10] FedEx.

[00:49:11] [SPEAKER_02] Can't fly 80 hippos? Well, you can. You just gotta do a couple times. FedEx, have you been to the Georgia Aquarium and seen how they transport whales?

[00:49:20] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah, I know, but there's 80. These animals, this is what he says, he's very sweet. They're living sentient beings, and if we have the capacity to save them through a safe and humane solution, we have the responsibility to try. Okay. Yeah, he's very cute. His wife is adorable. I like it. Yeah. Well, we'll see if, if Columbia accepts. Update! Red Lobsters, they're bringing endless shrimp back.

[00:49:45] [SPEAKER_02] Oh my God.

[00:49:46] [SPEAKER_03] It's already been, it's already been brought back. Now, this is that CEO that I like. Although, I went to Red Lobster the first time in years, and I did not have a good experience. And I'm rooting for you.

[00:49:58] [SPEAKER_04] Recently?

[00:49:59] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[00:49:59] [SPEAKER_04] Oh boy.

[00:50:00] [SPEAKER_03] A month ago, maybe. The biscuit was really dry.

[00:50:04] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, that's the best part. Oh!

[00:50:06] [SPEAKER_03] I know, I could make a better one at home. I don't feel like, I felt like we were, I was in a shift change and shit was kind of dirty.

[00:50:13] [SPEAKER_04] Gross! Oh!

[00:50:15] [SPEAKER_03] And, there was no one in there, except me and a bartender. And also, they took a lot of my favorites off the menu. Now, granted, I haven't been in there in 10, 15 years. Flounder, I'm sure. But, it's mostly just lobster and shrimp. What happened to the flounder? What happened to the, all gone.

[00:50:33] [SPEAKER_02] Shut up, you were the stuffed flounder lady? I love stuffed flounder.

[00:50:36] [SPEAKER_03] Stop it! Oh my God!

[00:50:38] [SPEAKER_02] I always wondered who ordered that.

[00:50:39] [SPEAKER_03] Me. Old people. I ordered it when I was young though.

[00:50:42] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[00:50:43] [SPEAKER_03] Took my grandpa every Tuesday. He loved it. Um, they're doing a six week run of it in Los Angeles. Damola, that's my guy. Damola, I don't know how you say it. I can't even begin to pronounce his last name. He's the CEO. That super smoking hot black guy. I love him. He is very cute. He's adorable. And I love that he does a lot of in-person videos and updates. So, I wish them well. If you're in LA and you want endless shrimp, it's back.

[00:51:09] [SPEAKER_04] Very enough.

[00:51:10] [SPEAKER_03] Update!

[00:51:13] Shut up.

[00:51:13] [SPEAKER_03] Again, if you listen to this podcast a lot, you know I am very anti the CEO of Starbucks, Brian Nichols. Brian. He's, he's everything you think a CEO in a movie would be. Totally. That's not good. Yeah. Versus Damola, the red lobster guy, everything you hope a CEO will be.

[00:51:37] [SPEAKER_04] Mm-hmm.

[00:51:38] [SPEAKER_03] This guy? No. Hipster cool. Brian, who has to have, he won't fly commercially from Orange County to Seattle, even though that's where your fucking job is. Uh-huh. Um, this shit, I mean, these people demand. It's just, and for what? You're not Einstein. No. I don't know why they pay CEOs so much. I really don't. I don't believe you're smarter than, say, my brother Joe. Or, or, no, I don't. No.

[00:52:04] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, he's fancy at those, Accenture and all that, but I don't, I don't think he's any less smart than this guy.

[00:52:11] [SPEAKER_05] Right.

[00:52:12] [SPEAKER_03] Right. And Joe ain't making, he's not a CEO, but he's making great money, but whatever. Brian Nichol is getting roasted for being out of touch after defending the company's $9 cup of coffee. Now, I just buy dark roast and it's not nine.

[00:52:27] [SPEAKER_02] A lot of money.

[00:52:28] [SPEAKER_03] It's like five. I think this is the children I see in fancy hotels that are on travel sports and they're 17 years old and they have Ugg slippers on and sweatpants and they are always holding a Starbucks drink that I cannot identify if there's colors in it. Yeah. There's a lot. Those might be $9. I don't know. But he said it reflects the premium experience offered to us customers. Here's the thing, Brian, I am mobile ordering. I want to go in, pick it up. I don't want to talk to anybody.

[00:52:57] [SPEAKER_03] I got to go to fucking work. I don't, I'm not here to make a friend. I have friends. I don't need, I mean, maybe young people are, and I like the kids that work there. I could never do it. I would, the last one day. All I would need to do is hear my sister's order and I quit. She always calls me in the car when she's going through, and she's like, oh, hold on, hold on. Can I get a, and then it's like 18 words. I go, oh my God, you are a pain in the ass. She's like, I know, right? But she does, she still does it.

[00:53:26] [SPEAKER_03] And a pub cup. And a pub cup for Buster. And Buster knows. He starts the high pitched whining as soon as you go in the drive through. He's so excited.

[00:53:37] [SPEAKER_04] That's great.

[00:53:39] [SPEAKER_03] But he's smart. He's an Australian Shepherd. Anyway, this is what he says. And people believe, well, this is a really affordable premium experience because they're saying like, well, it's less than $10 a person and I really get a quote premium experience. He keeps repeating that. Clearly, there's been some word salad buzzword meeting where we've decided that's what we're saying. Premium experience. Why not say elite? Everybody likes that too. Shallow, vacant, empty people like, oh, it's an elite experience.

[00:54:09] [SPEAKER_03] Regardless of where you're stationed in those income cohorts, we want to make that experience worth your while. And we know what's definitely something that drives the value is to be able to have a great seat, have a great moment of connection with a barista. Dude.

[00:54:25] [SPEAKER_02] I don't even understand.

[00:54:26] [SPEAKER_03] No. So he wants me to, you know, the kid that's got 9 million pins on their apron and they're adorable and friendly and they're like, Harris, here's your cup. I wrote on it. Okay, you didn't have to do that. Stop it. Listen, Mindy or whatever your name is.

[00:54:42] [SPEAKER_02] It's probably not Mindy.

[00:54:42] [SPEAKER_03] I'm so happy you're here. I could not do this job. I don't know how you have the patience. You haven't murdered at least 18 people today. Today. I would have killed 18 people. But I'm not, we're not going to be friends.

[00:54:55] [SPEAKER_02] Well, they're getting kind of lazy. A lot of just happy faces. Now they just put a heart. Just happy face.

[00:55:02] [SPEAKER_03] Boo. He said that the current economic situation with gas and food and stuff is high. It's not affecting the company's business or revenue.

[00:55:14] [SPEAKER_02] It's not. Not at all. Okay.

[00:55:16] [SPEAKER_03] There you go. There you go. It's doing very, really well with younger generations. We're doing really well with Gen Z and millennials and they had really strong performances across all income cohorts. Wow. I've never even heard it said like that.

[00:55:31] [SPEAKER_04] No, I don't even understand that.

[00:55:33] [SPEAKER_03] He thinks that we're there. I don't think the kids are either.

[00:55:39] [SPEAKER_04] Well, he also kicked us out.

[00:55:40] [SPEAKER_03] Young people, are you going in and being a friend?

[00:55:42] [SPEAKER_04] No.

[00:55:42] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, as someone who's working there, do you want to meet? You think you're going to be friends with them? No.

[00:55:50] Dude.

[00:55:51] [SPEAKER_04] I don't know. He kicked us out of the Starbucks. Remember?

[00:55:53] [SPEAKER_03] Well, yeah. First, you invited us all in with your couches and you're this and you're that. And there's, you know, ports everywhere to charge everything. And then you kicked us all out.

[00:56:03] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. Go away.

[00:56:04] [SPEAKER_03] And then, um, COVID you put some furniture back, but limited amounts. And it depends. There's nothing consistent.

[00:56:11] [SPEAKER_04] No.

[00:56:12] [SPEAKER_03] I go to a Starbucks. Honestly, I probably should be ashamed of this because I like gas station coffee. I should just not go anymore. But I don't know. It, it's a treat before the show. Yes. So, but also, I don't know. I feel like I could go to a hundred Starbucks on the road, maybe 200 this year, and none of them are the same. There is zero consistency. True.

[00:56:38] [SPEAKER_03] With the furniture, with the layout, with, so you don't feel like, I'll tell you what's consistent, Longhorn. Longhorn.

[00:56:47] [SPEAKER_04] For good or bad. Great chicken sandwich.

[00:56:50] [SPEAKER_03] It's a great road lunch spot, and every single city has one. And I go right in there, and there's never anyone at the bar. And me in the opening, I can sit down, get a chicken sandwich. They have the coldest ranch dressing. It's delicious. True. And every Longhorn is the same. Here's the only difference. Pointing this out as just something to notice. There's always a cow, a Longhorn cow. And he's right on the wall in the middle of the bar. Every single one.

[00:57:16] [SPEAKER_04] Yep.

[00:57:17] [SPEAKER_03] But they're different.

[00:57:18] [SPEAKER_04] Different Longhorn?

[00:57:19] [SPEAKER_03] Some are brown and white, some are black, some are, yep. So many things. Just something to notice on the road. It makes me happy to go in and go, what kind of cow am I going to get? What color's my cow? What color cow have you chosen? Okay. Moving on. We have some sports news at Kentucky Derby. Okay. Star sightings. Bill Belichick was there with his 24-year-old girlfriend. They looked crazy. He's 73. I think there's a 50, almost a 50-year age difference. Yeah.

[00:57:48] [SPEAKER_03] But maybe he's always wanted to live this life. And maybe she's just... Enabling all of it. Yeah. I don't know. Spend the money. Jordan. She says it's fine. He's still with her. That's an update, really. And the winner, it's Cherie or Sherry DeVoe. I don't know. First time ever female trainer has won the whole thing. And it was so fun to watch her get that excited. She's so cool. And she has worked extremely hard. Born in 1981. So how old does that make you?

[00:58:17] [SPEAKER_03] Uh... I can't do that. Uh-oh. Yeah. I can't. Let me see. 26 brings me back to 2000. 2000 minus 81.

[00:58:29] Uh...

[00:58:30] [SPEAKER_03] 19? Is that... Yeah, that's 19. So 26 plus 19. I don't even know you're... She's 45. She's 45. Jesus. I think. Wow. There's smoke in the room right now. This is waitress math. Smoke in the room. This is from being in restaurants for too long. I do waitress math. I base everything off 10%. Six carry the one, four, 19. 10% plus 5% is 15%. Yeah.

[00:58:51] [SPEAKER_00] She's 12. What?

[00:58:53] [SPEAKER_03] Well, she's a... She is a blast. And I'm so happy to see her horse, Golden Temple. He came all the way from last place. You can go online, watch a video. I thought he was getting smoked. I thought he was totally getting smoked. And then boom. Crazy. Yeah, and I thought there was one on the outside. I was thinking that guy. I'm like, watch that one, because I thought he was really gonna... And two brothers won. The jockeys. That was cool. And they don't make enough money. I read what they make, and it's bullshit, because the horse... The owner gets 3.5 million. Now that horse is gonna be worth a bazillion dollars. Yep.

[00:59:22] [SPEAKER_03] So he gets 10%. 350 grand for winning the Kentucky Derby. That's crazy. That's completely ridiculous. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, especially when you see how the... If you know... Like, I used to go to the track a lot with my dad. And these jockeys have very difficult lives. They're hurt all the time. They live... It's just that... If you finally win the Kentucky Derby, I think you should get a million bucks.

[00:59:43] [SPEAKER_02] You did say... Where'd you go? Oak Lawn?

[00:59:46] [SPEAKER_03] Oak Lawn is great.

[00:59:47] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, you said it's good.

[00:59:47] [SPEAKER_03] They treat everybody great. Yep. They have everything within their own thing. They have a church. They have a doctor. Like, these guys don't even need to... Yeah, it's awesome. Like, they keep...

[00:59:55] [SPEAKER_04] So even if you may or may not be legal, they will take care of you.

[00:59:58] [SPEAKER_03] They absolutely will do anything... That's awesome. Anything you need. Cool. Schools, everything. It's right there. Very cool. I like it. She started her horse training business in 2018 with eight horses. So she's been at this for a long time. Okay. She's won... Her horse racing career, her corral or however they call it, has won 297 races. Oh, wow. Yeah. Cool. Now, I don't know where those are. Well, she won a Breeders' Cup in 2024, so that's a big one. Okay.

[01:00:28] [SPEAKER_03] Her significant horses, I've never heard of them, but good for her. Finally, we get a woman up there, because there's a lot of women in horse racing that have a shit ton of money that are backing all this, but they just lay low. But to watch her get that excited, when you see Bob Baffert, the guy with the white, white hair and the sunglasses, and he's won everything like a million times, his horse wins and he's like, yep.

[01:00:50] Yep.

[01:00:50] [SPEAKER_03] He's just so used to it. Right. She was going absolutely apeshit. It was great.

[01:00:55] [SPEAKER_02] That's awesome.

[01:00:56] [SPEAKER_03] Um, well, this goes in. Holy shit, they found it. Oh, come on. Holy shit, they're looking for it.

[01:01:05] Oh, thank you.

[01:01:06] [SPEAKER_04] There's a new search.

[01:01:08] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, no.

[01:01:09] I love it.

[01:01:10] [SPEAKER_03] We're looking for the Ark of the Covenant again. No! The location of a chest believed to contain the Ten Commandments has long been a mystery, but archaeologists may be closer to finding the Ark of the Covenant. That's great. According to the Bible, the sacred relic was built by the Israelites shortly after fleeing Egypt around the 13th century. I feel like I'm in Catholic school reading from the podium. You are. Around the 13th century, with Moses placing the Ten Commandments inside.

[01:01:38] [SPEAKER_03] Historians believe the Ark was kept inside the Holy of Holies, the innermost chamber of Jerusalem's ancient temple before vanishing during the Babylonian sack of the city in 586 BC. Before Christ.

[01:01:53] Wow.

[01:01:54] [SPEAKER_04] For you children who don't know your religion. So, wow.

[01:01:57] [SPEAKER_03] Now, archaeologist Dr. Chris McKinney has proposed that the Ark could be hidden within underground spaces in the city of David just south of Jerusalem's Temple Mount.

[01:02:07] [SPEAKER_02] Nice.

[01:02:07] [SPEAKER_03] Well, and there's a lot of bombings and things going on. Now's a good time to try to dig shit up. It is. Now's a perfect time. It's free excavation. There's missiles coming, things. Yeah. They're going to scan underground spaces in the area using powerful technology designed to detect hidden cavities and buried metals deep beneath the surface. The method relies on muon detectors, M-U-O-N, I don't know what that word means. Okay.

[01:02:32] [SPEAKER_03] Instruments that track tiny subatomic particles created when cosmic rays from space strike Earth's atmosphere, allowing scientists to see deep underground and detect hidden chambers without digging. Wow. That whole paragraph sounded like the Met Gala invitation.

[01:02:48] [SPEAKER_05] It totally did.

[01:02:50] [SPEAKER_03] I don't even know what I'm talking about. Dibbidi-bobbidi-boo. So, the...

[01:02:56] [SPEAKER_04] Wee!

[01:02:57] [SPEAKER_03] For the land of Oz.

[01:02:59] [SPEAKER_04] Shit.

[01:03:02] [SPEAKER_03] So, I hope they find it. That would be astonishing.

[01:03:05] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:03:06] [SPEAKER_03] Okay. Reason... We're moving on to news. Reason number 9,546. I just made that number. Okay. I will not go on a cruise ship. We now have a cruise ship.

[01:03:22] God, I know.

[01:03:23] [SPEAKER_03] It's a Dutch cruise ship. It's... On America? It's over off the coast of Africa. I don't know. It says the MV Honduis off Praia Cape Verde. It's a cruise ship. It's not humongous. It doesn't look like a giant, you know, Royal Caribbean, but it's big. Three people are dead. A bunch are sick. Very sick.

[01:03:49] Uh-huh.

[01:03:49] [SPEAKER_03] With the Hantavirus. I'd never even heard of it. It's what Gene Hackman and his wife died of. Oh, God. It's from rats.

[01:03:56] [SPEAKER_04] Oh!

[01:03:57] [SPEAKER_03] Three are dead, and they won't let them dock.

[01:04:00] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, my God.

[01:04:00] [SPEAKER_03] No one can get off. Healthy or otherwise. None of you are allowed. I mean... That's crazy. Why would you put yourself in this situation? I don't know what they're gonna do. I don't know if these people will die. The ones that are super-duper sick.

[01:04:17] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[01:04:17] [SPEAKER_03] Um...

[01:04:19] [SPEAKER_04] That's crazy. No. Yeah, I just... I can't... I can't... I can't...

[01:04:26] Um...

[01:04:27] [SPEAKER_03] What... So, there's no plan. There's no plan. They're just sitting... Well, as of today, I have nothing. I'll have an update next week, but they're just floating around out there. Wow. I don't know. Ugh. How do we separate who's sick and who's not, and then say, okay, you guys are allowed on a dinghy? But they're thinking it could have gotten transferred from human to human, which is a huge problem, versus rat droppings to somehow to you, I don't... I don't know. It's in the food. Ugh.

[01:04:54] Right. Oh, God.

[01:04:55] [SPEAKER_04] Gross. It's horrible.

[01:04:58] Um...

[01:04:59] [SPEAKER_04] Everybody forgets.

[01:05:02] [SPEAKER_03] This is a great... This is a great piece of news, because I'd like this solved in my lifetime.

[01:05:08] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[01:05:09] [SPEAKER_03] I'd like to find a millionaire heart, and I'd like to find Bigfoot. A Bigfoot. Just one.

[01:05:16] [SPEAKER_02] A Bigfoot. Okay.

[01:05:17] [SPEAKER_03] Just one. And I don't... I just want to tag him and release him. Tag and release. Okay. I don't want anyone to kill it. I don't want it to be in a zoo. I want him...

[01:05:26] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, God, no.

[01:05:27] [SPEAKER_03] But, like, you know, the wolves we tag and keep... The sharks, and we keep track of them, and then we learn stuff. The fears... This Bigfoot shit is not going away in Ohio. Really? In the last 10 years, yeah. Uh...

[01:05:39] I...

[01:05:39] [SPEAKER_03] I do believe... I have two friends that are vets, and they agree it could be possible. And Jane Goodall. Um...

[01:05:46] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:05:46] [SPEAKER_03] She was in South America, and I think it was like, um... Conan O'Brien... It was a late night show. Stephen Colbert or somebody. And I mean, she's... Jane Goodall? Is she gonna fucking lie? No. And she asked the... She was in way, way, way in the jungle with the locals trying to take care of the, uh... The gorillas or whatever. Okay. Or the chimps or... I don't know. Something. A primate.

[01:06:09] [SPEAKER_02] She was a primate lady, yeah.

[01:06:10] [SPEAKER_03] And she asked the locals, have you ever heard of or seen... And then she basically described a Bigfoot. Like a seven foot or taller...

[01:06:21] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[01:06:22] [SPEAKER_03] Primate walking on two legs, blah, blah, blah. And they all were like, oh yeah. We kind of know exactly where they're at. Like if you're into that. Oh my God. Right.

[01:06:32] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[01:06:32] [SPEAKER_03] And that wasn't her mission that time. And she said she didn't want to do that. Well, she couldn't at the time.

[01:06:37] [SPEAKER_02] Okay.

[01:06:38] [SPEAKER_03] But she also didn't want to because she thought then people will start trying to hunt them. But that's Jane Goodall. So this just isn't crazy Kathleen, Aunt Kat, you know... Six beers into this going, I think there's a giant ape on my neighbor's property. Let's go see it. Which I'm capable of. This is all in Ohio. They have footprints. There are normal people saying I'm hearing this howling that I've never heard before. Okay. And there's been sightings.

[01:07:09] [SPEAKER_03] They say it's between six and ten feet tall. Wow. This guy... The problem with the Bigfoot group... There's only one. Well, one of the problems is they always designate the guy in charge as a quote enthusiast. Oh, yeah. You know, and then... No, I need my friend Dr. Kevin Fitzgerald, a veterinarian, to go out there and know what...

[01:07:34] [SPEAKER_03] This Mike Miller, co-founder of Ohio Night Stalkers Bigfoot Research Group... Okay. ...he's leading the charge. And this is in his first rodeo as the emergent expan on all things Sasquatch in Ohio, which ranks fourth... Wow. ...in Bigfoot's ideas. I would never imagine that. I would have said Canada, the Kokanee Valley, Oregon, Washington, Vermont, Maine.

[01:07:59] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah.

[01:08:00] [SPEAKER_03] I just do not... Ohio just seems crowded. Like, I mean, they've got Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Akron, Dayton, a lot of people there.

[01:08:07] [SPEAKER_04] Mm-hmm.

[01:08:08] [SPEAKER_03] I wouldn't think Bigfoot be hanging out. But, well, this was... This winter, because it was so bad, and they're thinking that the Bigfoots didn't know what to do, and now they're all active, because the snow, so much snow came that they couldn't, like, stay in a cave, or they had to, like, go do something. Okay. So, when the horrible, horrible winter ended, that's when the seasons started to change. That's when the Bigfoot sightings spiked up.

[01:08:37] [SPEAKER_03] It's northeast Ohio. Ohioans? Any of you? Termites? Have you seen a footprint? Have you heard a howling that you don't understand?

[01:08:44] [SPEAKER_04] Right.

[01:08:47] [SPEAKER_03] I want to know. Have you heard a howling?

[01:08:49] Oh, my God.

[01:08:50] [SPEAKER_03] Here's the TV. The claims that the howls, and they've recorded them, and they do not match any known animal in North America. Really? The recordings, yeah. Wow. Some of the screams paid higher than a baboon on the spectrograph, and that is evidence. I guess baboons are really loud. I don't know. There was a pair of hikers that recalled the beast turned with its shoulders rather than its neck. So, he's not...

[01:09:21] [SPEAKER_03] He's moving. Oh! Yeah. Got it. That is a very important detail, which hardcore Bigfooters will realize that that's pretty crazy. And the hiker said... Hardcore Bigfoot. The hiker who was still shaken told him, I know what I saw, but I don't know what I saw. Surprising no one perhaps Bigfoot. They've snapped a photo, and you can book in the show notes for that.

[01:09:43] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[01:09:43] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[01:09:45] [SPEAKER_04] You think there's more than one?

[01:09:46] [SPEAKER_03] Yes. Up there? I think they have like one kid, like gorillas, and there's probably a pack of 30.

[01:09:53] [SPEAKER_04] In Ohio.

[01:09:54] [SPEAKER_03] In Ohio somewhere.

[01:09:56] [SPEAKER_04] Waiting on football stuff.

[01:09:57] [SPEAKER_03] I don't know enough about North... I'm trying to picture North, East, Ohio. Let's see. Like... I mean, I know where Cleveland's at. I just don't know. Is it really woodsy? I don't know. Like, a bear can't hide in the Missouri State Park. We're all gonna eventually see him. I mean, it's just not that big.

[01:10:17] [SPEAKER_02] Well, have you been to Erie, Pennsylvania?

[01:10:19] [SPEAKER_03] I have been to Erie.

[01:10:20] [SPEAKER_02] Okay, so halfway between Cleveland and Erie.

[01:10:22] [SPEAKER_03] Okay.

[01:10:22] [SPEAKER_02] Wait, you said Northwest.

[01:10:24] [SPEAKER_03] Sorry.

[01:10:24] [SPEAKER_02] You said Northeast. Okay.

[01:10:27] [SPEAKER_04] So halfway between Cleveland and Erie is the border, which would be Northeast Pennsylvania. Oh, okay. By the lovely town of Ashtabula.

[01:10:37] [SPEAKER_03] Never heard of it.

[01:10:38] [SPEAKER_04] Love Ashtabula. Akron. That's kind of...

[01:10:42] [SPEAKER_03] Okay. Lower. Just not picturing tons and tons of woods, but all right. I assume there are. Moving on to crazy other news. An extraordinary rare, extraordinarily rare split colored lobster was caught on the East Coast. One in a 50 million fine. One in 50 million. He's half orange. Right down the middle. Oh, man. It's the craziest thing. Cool. Check the schnotes. And then this guy who wrote the article, Ben.

[01:11:11] [SPEAKER_03] I'm sure he was so happy with his lead sentence. They hit the lobstery. Hey. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Massachusetts fishing crew made the catch of a lifetime after nabbing a super rare split colored lobster off the case of Cape Cod off the coast. Nice. One in 50 million. You just gotta go look at the picture in case you missed it, cause you actually have a job and things to do. And I don't. So I'm here to do that.

[01:11:40] [SPEAKER_03] Um, this is getting weird. Okay. Um, we'll wait, I have one more animal thing. I have another one for my feel good, but it's great. But this, this made me very happy. It will probably not make some deer hunters happy if you're my brother, cause this is, my brother's biggest fear is, and he goes, don't tell, don't tell dad or Jimmy, all my uncles, don't tell him I said this cause they'll just make fun of me. Uh, he's afraid cause you go out deer hunting very early. It's dark. Uh huh. It's 5am.

[01:12:10] [SPEAKER_03] In Missouri anyway, in the woods. He's afraid that he's gonna climb a tree and then a mountain lion's gonna see him and wanna eat him and they can climb trees way better than my brother can. And then Patrick in his mind is gonna get nervous and drop his, uh, deer rifle and then the mountain lion will eat him. He's terrified of mountain lions. And we do have them in Missouri. They always say, oh, we don't have any. Well, no, with trail cams. Right. Yeah, we do. Right.

[01:12:38] [SPEAKER_03] Missouri Department of Conservation always wants to say we don't have stuff that we do to not freak people out. I get it. And I think most of the ones in Missouri are passing through. They're definitely passing through in Iowa. They're just coming either north or south. Uh huh. Well, for the first time in over a century. Oh my God. Research has documented evidence of cougars reproducing in Minnesota. Oh, wow. They're having babies. Meow.

[01:13:03] [SPEAKER_03] So any trail cam photo starting in October, because deer season is in November, I, all I do is Google search trail cam, uh, uh, photos of cougars, also known as mountain lion.

[01:13:15] [SPEAKER_04] Yep.

[01:13:15] [SPEAKER_03] Um, and then I send it to my brother and I just write meow. Meow. Meow.

[01:13:24] Meow.

[01:13:25] [SPEAKER_03] Meow. Meow. Looking at the footage and it was still surreal. We never anticipated seeing four cougars together in northern Minnesota. Wow. In total, we captured around four hours of footage of the cougar family. Um, they have, uh, little kittens. They're there. That's cool. Cougars were once native to Minnesota, but became locally extinct. Even in states with resident populations, cougars are rarely seen and avoid humans at all, almost at all, uh, any way they can.

[01:13:54] [SPEAKER_03] The new footage offers a glimpse into their life.

[01:13:56] [SPEAKER_02] Wow.

[01:13:57] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Meow.

[01:13:58] [SPEAKER_02] Meow.

[01:13:59] [SPEAKER_03] Meow. Um, okay. So next week, I'm going to do this next week. Okay. We're going to have a big talk on data centers. I know it sounds boring, but it, it's a, a giant thing and I'm going to go, uh, try to research the good points and the bad points. Okay. So far, I only know bad points and they are fucking bad.

[01:14:29] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. So sorry to cuss so much today. I don't know why. Um. You seep9-eyed. No, I'm a little tight. I'm a little tight. It was a crazy weekend. Um, this is a bit of travel advice. I'm telling you, termites should have done this up top, but if you can, if you have to fly anywhere, go to the app of the airline you're using and sign up for touchless entry.

[01:14:54] [SPEAKER_04] Yes. Yeah.

[01:14:55] [SPEAKER_03] It is a game changer. Save everything. It is. It's, it's, it's wonderful, but you have to do it by the airline. Yeah. So if you're, I don't even know on Southwest, I didn't even try. I have pre-check. I have it on Delta, like, uh, where we act like we're at home. Delta signed everybody up for it. Here you go. And? If you have status. Yeah. Um, but you could just go sign up yourself on your phone in the app. You got to download. So I don't know if Southwest even does, I don't know. I shouldn't be speaking out of turn, but I know Delta does it and I know American does it.

[01:15:24] [SPEAKER_03] So let's also talk about spirit airlines for a minute. All right. P they sent a big thing in saying they can't afford gas anymore. It's just too expensive. And we're closed. We're closed. And there were like a pic. There was a picture online of like 300 people in Detroit. It showed up and the flight was canceled and they're still sitting there. They think they're going to reschedule. Like, no, you do you not read the news at all? No.

[01:15:53] [SPEAKER_03] This gig is over at 3 a.m. That was on Saturday, like 3 a.m. Saturday night if you stayed up till midnight. Um, they're just gone. Yeah. And, and one side's blaming Biden cause he didn't let somebody merger. And then they put in their paperwork saying this is just about the price of gas because of global conflicts or however they want to phrase it. No, no one on spirit even knows or cares. Most likely.

[01:16:17] [SPEAKER_04] All right.

[01:16:18] [SPEAKER_03] Um, when I have like opening acts, I pay for their travel and all that stuff. And they'll submit a receipt. It's like you flew on spirit for $69. Don't do that. I will pay for you to fly on something that is stable and real. Yeah. This is, but they're, I have of them. Um, the youngsters are so nice. They're like, I was just trying to save us money. And then I don't mind it. I don't mind it. And I'm like, okay, you're going to mind it when you get to the airport and they're,

[01:16:47] [SPEAKER_03] they're no longer at the counter. Right. You're going to mind that they disappear, which they will someday. I kept saying it. I kept saying, I'm like, this is not a stable product. You shouldn't count on getting home that way. Other airlines are, but somebody wrote on Twitter, not me. Um, uh, this is, uh, what a great thing. Um, but how, if we cancel spirit airlines, how are carnival cruise people going to get to their cruises? True that. It's the same crowd.

[01:17:17] [SPEAKER_03] I mean, I don't, I can honestly say I'd never flew them. I didn't, I won't get on a yellow plane. I just, that's me. It doesn't mean anything. That was it. Well, I also, when I hear discount airline, I wonder where we're saving money. Is it on, is it on maintenance? True. Is it on cruise? Yep. You paying shitty salaries to pilots? Like when we're talking about a discount, I want that for soda.

[01:17:45] [SPEAKER_03] Hey, you can get three things of Diet Coke for the price of two, blah, blah, blah. I don't want a discount. I don't want it on eyeballs when they say discount LASIK surgery. My mom's like, oh, I found LASIK surgery. If you want to do that, there's a disc. She told me there's a discount in Tijuana. Mom, it's my eyes. Like there's just certain things where I'm not into the idea of discount. Other things, yes, I love a Costco run, whatever, but not on an airline. We're going up into the air.

[01:18:15] [SPEAKER_03] It's very dangerous.

[01:18:17] Ugh.

[01:18:18] [SPEAKER_03] Here's some great news.

[01:18:19] [SPEAKER_02] Here's the deal, Mom.

[01:18:20] [SPEAKER_03] So, RIP Spirit. Yep. When I landed in Nashville on Sunday, there was one Spirit airplane left at a gate, and I thought, well, come pick up your trash, motherfucker. Because here's the thing. What are we going to do? I have passed the airline graveyard in Arizona. It's halfway between Phoenix and Tucson, and there's just a shit ton of, it's like a ghost graveyard of airplanes. But somebody's got to get it out there.

[01:18:45] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, yeah.

[01:18:47] [SPEAKER_03] We got to fly it out there. I have fun of that. And then what are we flying to where? Phoenix and Tucson and towing it? It might have its own landing strip. I didn't really, I can't see, you can't see that much from the road. You just see a bunch of airplanes. Got it. But here's, I always remember my dad going, just remember, you fill up the whole back of the truck bed, the dump charge is $100. How much does it cost to dump the Spirit plane?

[01:19:11] [SPEAKER_05] Oh, my God. I never thought it was. Yeah.

[01:19:13] [SPEAKER_03] It's $100 to take my dad's tiny Chevy truck and fill it up the back and just go to the dump. What's that cost? Well, you know who's going to buy them? Southwest. Those planes?

[01:19:25] [SPEAKER_02] 737s. Yeah.

[01:19:27] [SPEAKER_03] Are they?

[01:19:27] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know. I just thrown that out there.

[01:19:29] [SPEAKER_03] I don't know what they are either. I've never been on one. I don't ever see anyone working at the counter here.

[01:19:35] [SPEAKER_04] They won't.

[01:19:36] [SPEAKER_03] In Nashville, and now they have a big counter space.

[01:19:39] [SPEAKER_04] You sent me that text. They had a-

[01:19:40] [SPEAKER_03] Who's taking all that? Somebody. Maybe Hooters Air will come back. Hooters Air. That was ridiculous. There was one called Midwest Air for a while, and it was awesome. Maybe Cape Air. Because they only flew in the Midwest, and there were only two seats on each side, but each seat was like a first class seat, and they served like food on plates. Oh, nice. With like silverware and stuff. I was like, this can't last. How are they making money? And it didn't. It did not last.

[01:20:11] [SPEAKER_03] Well, here's something you're going to get very excited about. Okay. Panels. I've been waiting all week to tell you how much you're going to be excited.

[01:20:19] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, I can't wait.

[01:20:20] [SPEAKER_03] The DOJ Department of Justice is recommending and doing it. They're bringing back firing squads in federal executions. And this is no doubt the funniest thing that has ever come backstage, and they told me to please bring this to paddles as a thank you for doing the podcast and getting a microphone. Here's what came backstage for you. That's so, I mean, it's so awesome. That's an electric chair. I freaked out. That's an electric chair. It's a baby electric chair. Where does one purchase this? I don't even know. I don't know.

[01:20:49] [SPEAKER_03] But it's never leaving this desk. It's got the little silver helmet, if you're not watching. It's ready to go. It's a chair. It's got the straps that actually work. Even for your feet. Even for your feet. Yep. It's going right there in the Hall of Fame of shit that came backstage. You should see the people that bring me the stuff that comes from the general ice. And they're like, um, what do you, do you want us to go through these? I'm like, no, nobody's sending anything dangerous. But you can go through them if you want. We're good. It's up to you.

[01:21:18] [SPEAKER_03] They're like, yeah, there's like some cat treats and an electric chair and a Bigfoot stuffed animal. I'm like, do you feel safe? That's right. Absolutely. Yes. So here's the thing. That's great. Thank you so much. President Donald Trump's administration plans to add firing squads, electrocution, and gas asphyxiation as alternative methods of executing people convicted of the gravest federal crimes it announced on Friday. The recommendation, bop, bop, bop, bop, boring, boring, boring, boring. Here's the thing.

[01:21:46] [SPEAKER_03] The lethal injections are not working properly. No. And my friend Chuck has a great joke about all that. But, um, uh, they, I couldn't be, they'd never find a vein. They never find veins on me. They'd have to get the best phlebotomist ever to come in and find my vein. And then it doesn't work. I always thought, I think Utah was one of the last states to have the firing squad if I remember correctly.

[01:22:12] [SPEAKER_03] And I always thought that's what I, if you can pick, and they do let them pick. Yep. I would choose that because in my mind, I thought this would be like an old French movie where I would be taken out to a stone wall in like a, um, you know, a squared off walled area. Uh-huh. And then I'd have a, I'd get to go outside one more time. I would have a, a eye mask on so you can't see. My hands would be tied, but I'd have a lit cigarette.

[01:22:41] [SPEAKER_04] You could feel the sun.

[01:22:42] [SPEAKER_03] I'd have a lit cigarette. You can't use your hands, but I can smoke without using my hands. That's how good I was at smoking.

[01:22:46] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[01:22:47] [SPEAKER_03] And I'd want one more cigarette just to say goodbye.

[01:22:50] [SPEAKER_04] Uh-huh.

[01:22:50] [SPEAKER_03] And then boom, boom. And I thought it'd be so dramatic. Oh my God. Right? Well, that's not even how they do it. You don't go outside. No. You don't go outside. No, they take you downstairs, basically a basement and blow your brains out. Oh my God. Yeah. Well, this is what you want.

[01:23:08] [SPEAKER_04] I'm into it. Yep.

[01:23:09] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. I'm not against the death penalty.

[01:23:13] [SPEAKER_04] Hmm.

[01:23:13] [SPEAKER_03] This is, I don't want any emails. I don't care what everybody thinks, but I would use it a lot less than you.

[01:23:24] [SPEAKER_04] Well.

[01:23:25] Well.

[01:23:25] [SPEAKER_04] I mean, everybody gets their trial, but the end result's the end result, you know?

[01:23:32] I don't know.

[01:23:33] [SPEAKER_03] Thou shall not kill. I have a problem with that with me. In Catholicism, it doesn't say thou shall not kill and then parentheses and et cetera.

[01:23:43] People who are killed.

[01:23:43] [SPEAKER_03] It doesn't say thou shall not kill. I know. It's all it says. So then I think, oh, maybe this isn't mine to do. Maybe I got to pay to feed this person. No, I don't agree with that. Until they're a hundred.

[01:23:54] [SPEAKER_04] No.

[01:23:55] [SPEAKER_03] Um. Sorry. Well, we're bringing it back.

[01:23:58] [SPEAKER_04] I don't agree. Nobody agrees. No, you and I can go through this at a bar and talk through why I'm right. All right. Yeah. Um, here's a weird thing. Okay.

[01:24:14] [SPEAKER_03] I'm going to save that for next week. Um, my little friend Banksy, my artist who I adore, is at it again. He put up a statue in central London. I saw it.

[01:24:25] [SPEAKER_04] Oh.

[01:24:25] [SPEAKER_03] It's a man walking with a flag and then the flag, the wind is blowing. So the flag literally drapes his face and he can't see. Mm-hmm. So what Banksy is saying is you're wrapping yourselves in patriotism and you're blinded by patriotism and a flag. Yes, yes. And he just, he just is so smart. Like whether you agree or disagree with him, it doesn't matter. He puts so much thought.

[01:24:49] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:24:49] [SPEAKER_03] I like a thinking, I like, I'm not into the esoteric, you know, very left field shit that I don't, I don't understand why Madonna has a birdcage on her head and no bird. I don't get it. Yeah. What is that? But this I get. No bird. I mean, if you're going to do it. Yeah. Do it. Um, or you could have put a white wing dove in that bird cage and then you could have come

[01:25:17] [SPEAKER_03] out when Stevie Nicks sang Edge at 17 and open the door of the birdcage and boom, a white wing dove flies out.

[01:25:25] [SPEAKER_02] That's a very Pisces thought. Huh? That's a Pisces thought. Let's get creative. Yeah.

[01:25:29] [SPEAKER_03] Give the birdcage to Sabrina Carpenter. Put it on her head.

[01:25:34] Sam.

[01:25:35] [SPEAKER_03] We could have done more with that.

[01:25:38] [SPEAKER_02] Put a white wing dove on your head.

[01:25:40] [SPEAKER_03] Um, yeah. Banksy himself went down there. That's great. Yeah. It's in the middle of some, uh, oh, it's by Trafalgar Square. That's their big like Times Square type deal. Awesome. It's very, oh man, I would still go over there immediately. That is just amazeballs. Good for him. Amazeballs. Um, he's blinded by patriotism. This is an odd little thing before we move on to, um, other quotes and all that. So, there's these teenagers.

[01:26:10] [SPEAKER_04] Okay. Yeah.

[01:26:11] [SPEAKER_03] And they are mobbing, well, Scientology centers. And they did it in New York. But then in LA, they hired, uh, Little people. Like 30 to 50 dwarves. Little people. Brad, my friend, who is a little person, says it's okay if I say dwarf.

[01:26:32] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[01:26:33] [SPEAKER_00] I think dwarf is clinical.

[01:26:36] [SPEAKER_03] Dwarf-ism is clinical. That's what I mean. Yes. Versus the old school midget. I don't even know what. I don't know. I just do what I'm asked. Um, a mob of rowdy teens stormed a Big Apple Scientology church on Saturday afternoon, trashing the property and injuring a security guard amid a nationwide rash of similar viral social media stunts. Now, here's the thing. I am not a fan of, you know, L. Ron Hubbard and his gang.

[01:27:03] [SPEAKER_03] And I still think that leader, David Miscavige's wife. Killed his wife. I don't even know that he killed her. I think even maybe worse, she's just being held captive. But they say she's not. This is another thing I shouldn't go into because it's just going to cause shit. But, but I don't think you should just go into someone's place and wreck it. No. For no good goddamn reason. Um, this guy said he's a security guard.

[01:27:30] [SPEAKER_03] I saw about 50 kids with masks and hoodies, all races, blacks, whites, Asians. They were all running. He's 58. He was a guard at the thing. They were running and laughing. They were breaking chairs and tables, throwing books on the ground and vandalizing the church. While the police did not address a motive for the attack, the Church of Scientology International believe is part of the recent viral trend. Oh. But this is a trend. Usually I see what the kids are trying to do or they wanted to do. I don't even understand.

[01:28:00] [SPEAKER_04] What this is.

[01:28:01] [SPEAKER_03] What's the thrill? Got it. What's the payoff? What's the kick? The video? I will say watching 30 to 50 dwarves storm it. It was a pretty crazy video. That's fun. Pretty fun. Yeah. I don't know, but I don't think you should do it. I don't like wrecking other people's stuff. And you know what? They're doing whatever they do. It's not your business. Not cool.

[01:28:24] [SPEAKER_04] Not cool.

[01:28:25] [SPEAKER_03] No. Not cool. But it's happening. So we'll keep tabs on that and see if it happens some more. If it's a thing or is it just a thing of the... This is what I don't understand about the social viral trending things with the children. Okay. It's like a thing for half a second and then gone. Right. And then if you get caught, like you're one of the kids who get arrested, people were arrested. Yep. What did you... Why? Why are you doing? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Totally.

[01:28:57] [SPEAKER_03] Also, I'm going to put this website in there. Okay. I love to look at snakes. I'm terrified of them. Oh, God, no. I know. No. Colorado. Shout out to Colorado. They have put a live camera on a mega den of rattlesnakes that is emerging. Oh, damn. And it's becoming active now because winter's kind of over, although apparently they're having snow in Denver today or yesterday.

[01:29:23] [SPEAKER_04] Mm-hmm.

[01:29:24] [SPEAKER_03] We're going to put the link in the thing and I can't stop watching it.

[01:29:29] [SPEAKER_04] You've watched it?

[01:29:30] [SPEAKER_03] Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Fascinating.

[01:29:33] [SPEAKER_04] I couldn't do it.

[01:29:34] [SPEAKER_03] Big ones, little ones, like... And they just kind of come out and they wake up. And you're like, oh.

[01:29:40] No.

[01:29:40] [SPEAKER_04] No.

[01:29:41] [SPEAKER_03] Well, that's what's going on out there. That's what's going on. That's what's going on. Feel good story.

[01:29:50] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, good.

[01:29:51] [SPEAKER_03] This is so great.

[01:29:51] [SPEAKER_04] Not about snakes. Oh.

[01:29:53] [SPEAKER_03] No. This is another Colorado one. We have two feel good stories. I have three, actually.

[01:30:00] [SPEAKER_04] Wonderful.

[01:30:01] [SPEAKER_03] This is great. Keeping with Colorado. Okay. Sticking on the Colorado theme. Colorado just opened the biggest wildlife overpass in North America. Now, I've only seen one of these in Banff, Canada, and it was the coolest thing I ever saw.

[01:30:14] [SPEAKER_04] They're cool.

[01:30:15] [SPEAKER_03] And it's... How did it take us this long to think about it? Because even if you don't care about the wildlife, if you're a cold-hearted little bastard, hitting a moose or an elk is going to ruin your car.

[01:30:27] [SPEAKER_04] Right.

[01:30:27] [SPEAKER_03] So how about being a selfish, cold-hearted bastard?

[01:30:30] [SPEAKER_04] You hit a moose, you'll probably die.

[01:30:31] [SPEAKER_03] You'll probably die. Mm-hmm. So why don't we create a way for them to get to the other side of the highways?

[01:30:36] [SPEAKER_04] Zzzzzz.

[01:30:37] [SPEAKER_03] Like, it's like Banff's is really big. Well, Colorado just opened the biggest one in North America.

[01:30:42] [SPEAKER_05] Oh, cool.

[01:30:42] [SPEAKER_03] Before it opened in December, the 18-mile stretch of I-25 between Castle Rock and Monument averaged one wildlife collision per day in migrations. I've been to both. I've been to Castle Rock. I know where it is. Every day? Yeah. Wow. In migration season. That's crazy. There's like a bazillion, they look like little antelopes. I don't know what they are, but down there. That's what I see. Elk, pronghorn, mule deer, black bears, mountain lions,

[01:31:11] [SPEAKER_03] all trying to cross six lanes of traffic to reach the 39,000 acres of habitat on the other side. The new overpass is almost an acre wide, covered in dirt, and seeded with native plants. It connects five underpasses and a fencing system. The fence funnels the animals in. That's how they know to go. They're like, okay, this is still dirt and it's the woods and we're good. And then they cross over all of it. Korea has built 120 of these.

[01:31:41] [SPEAKER_04] Wow.

[01:31:42] [SPEAKER_03] Yep. The Netherlands runs the densest network on Earth. The U.S. has roughly 50 wildlife crossings for 4 million miles of road. Every state with significant wildlife collisions could be building these, but most aren't. Wildlife collisions in the U.S. cause over $8 billion in vehicle damage, injuries, and lives. A single overpass paid for itself within a decade.

[01:32:03] [SPEAKER_04] Okay.

[01:32:03] [SPEAKER_03] If your state hasn't built one, ask why.

[01:32:06] [SPEAKER_04] That's crazy.

[01:32:07] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. Well, I mean, it depends on where you're at, obviously, but.

[01:32:10] [SPEAKER_04] I wouldn't think of Korea.

[01:32:12] [SPEAKER_03] I wouldn't either. And I assume they mean South Korea. Yeah. I don't think Kim Jong-un gives a shit. No, we're not.

[01:32:18] [SPEAKER_04] We're not looking in their backyard.

[01:32:22] [SPEAKER_03] This is great. So the Boston Marathon had just happened when I was up there. Okay. A couple weeks ago. So this lady is 82 years old, and she finished 130th.

[01:32:32] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, my God. Yeah. That's fantastic.

[01:32:37] [SPEAKER_03] Tamara Buckhannon. Buckhannon.

[01:32:39] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:32:40] [SPEAKER_03] Good for her.

[01:32:40] [SPEAKER_04] Good for her.

[01:32:41] [SPEAKER_03] This is my favorite story of the week. It's a feel-good story. Okay. Oh, we're not going to stay dumb. I have a new thing in Spanish. We're going to review what we learned. Okay. Well, let's do that before I do this story.

[01:32:53] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, okay. Great.

[01:32:53] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. What have we learned so far in Spanish, Terrence? Because we're not staying dumb, even though a lot of America would like to stay dumb. We're not. We're going to go through what we've learned before. I know it's tedious, but this is how you learn to be a good stand-up comic, do you? Repetition. You just keep doing it over and over and over and over.

[01:33:12] That's great.

[01:33:14] [SPEAKER_03] Here's our questions. These are things you're going to ask when you go on vacation. Do you have alcohol? Tienes alcohol.

[01:33:21] [SPEAKER_04] Alcohol.

[01:33:22] [SPEAKER_03] Now, my pronunciation is probably going to suck, but you get the drift. Where is the bar? Donde esta la barra? We learned that. And then we want to know what time does the kitchen close, right? Because you're going to go drinking, you're going to be hungry. A que hora sera de quichén hora? Got it?

[01:33:41] [SPEAKER_04] I like it.

[01:33:42] [SPEAKER_03] What time is check-in? Que hora? It's check-in. It's check. It's chicken. It's chicken.

[01:33:48] It's chicken.

[01:33:49] [SPEAKER_03] How late is breakfast served? This was a hard one for me. Okay. Hasta que hora si sirve el decenuno.

[01:33:57] [SPEAKER_05] I like it.

[01:33:58] [SPEAKER_03] I probably butchered that. Probably do your own thing on your phone. And today was, I wanted to know, what time does the band start?

[01:34:04] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, nice.

[01:34:05] [SPEAKER_03] Or the music. A que hora? Empieza.

[01:34:09] [SPEAKER_04] Empieza.

[01:34:10] See?

[01:34:11] [SPEAKER_03] I like it. Good job. In a few years, we'll be ready to go anywhere. So good. It's going to take a lot of podcasts, but we're going to do it. We're not staying dumb. No. America. America. We're not staying dumb. Don't do this. This is my other feel good. And I got to say, whether you care or do not care or like or do not like Ricky Gervais, I know people have strong opinions on him. I like him. But I understand other people don't feel that way.

[01:34:39] [SPEAKER_03] He's a big animal guy. Yep. Help the least of those who can't help themselves. 1,500 beagles have been busted out. That's my favorite dog. Buy a million. Beagles? Always.

[01:34:53] [SPEAKER_04] Cool.

[01:34:53] [SPEAKER_03] If I could have a dog, I love labs. I love anything houndy. I'm a hound. I like the hound group. Cool. And I like the hunting group. English setters, Irish setters, and all that. But a beagle, a little tiny beagle, I mean, they do run away a lot.

[01:35:11] [SPEAKER_04] They have, and they howl.

[01:35:13] [SPEAKER_03] But I love their howl because they're mouthy. And I like them because they're, I think because I'm short and I feel like they're small, but they're very, a big dog personality. They don't let their smallness affect their behavior at all. They act like they're eight foot tall. Anyway, it's always been my, we had someone when I was a kid.

[01:35:32] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:35:32] [SPEAKER_03] I had a couple when I was a little kid. Um, 1,500 beagles are being busted out of this Wisconsin dog breeding thing. Ricky Gervais has been a big, big proponent of, and there's a thing in LA, I can't think what it's called. Beagle Freedom, I think, that I send money to every now and then and stuff. Um, because they are the ones primarily used in testing labs because they're, and the reasons are horrible.

[01:35:57] [SPEAKER_05] Yeah.

[01:35:58] [SPEAKER_03] The reason they choose beagles is because they're friendly. They hardly ever bite, bite you. They won't bite back. You can torture them and they still like you and they're small so they fit. You can fit a hundred of them in cages versus a chocolate lab is going to be too big.

[01:36:15] [SPEAKER_04] Right.

[01:36:15] [SPEAKER_03] Um, so that's awful. All the things that's wonderful about the dog, you're using against the dog. And there's all these videos out now of them being freed. And it is the cutest thing ever. Makes you want to cry. I know. Big dog, a ranch rescue and the Center for a Humane Economy negotiated a confidential agreement to purchase the 1,500 dogs from an undisclosed price from Ridgeland Farms. You know, and I know we have to do animal testing, I guess. Another thing, don't email me. I don't know enough about it.

[01:36:44] [SPEAKER_03] But can we just stick to rats and mice? Like, do we have to do monkeys? And I don't know. I'd have to ask my vet friend, Kevin. Like, but beagles? Really? Beagles?

[01:36:58] [SPEAKER_04] I don't understand that one.

[01:36:59] [SPEAKER_03] No. No. So, it's great. And everybody wants to adopt them. And when they all get loose, there's all these videos of them.

[01:37:09] [SPEAKER_04] Yep.

[01:37:11] [SPEAKER_03] They all look so, so alike. I'm like, if you said, oh, I adopted Bob. Let's say it's a dog and you name it Bob. If you went back, you can't find Bob. There's 1,500 dogs. They all look exactly alike. And they're happy. Individually, close up, I'm like, oh, I get it. That one's got more black or brown or whatever. That's great. That's a great story. And thank you to Ricky DeVace for doing that. We got some thank yous. And then I'm going to do our quotes.

[01:37:37] [SPEAKER_00] Nice. You're a saint.

[01:37:40] [SPEAKER_03] And I saint. I got, I'm running out of saints, though. Truthfully.

[01:37:44] [SPEAKER_04] Okay. I know. Find another one. I know.

[01:37:48] [SPEAKER_03] Thank you for the raging Cajun beers from Lafayette, Termites, Colleen, and Richie. Oh, the LSU thing. And Sherry, the woman who was in charge of me in Biloxi, she's a big LSU fan. And I told her my whole fantasy about going back to school. That's from Juliet and Jonathan. Oh, for Cat's Kitchen, I got some cat-themed kitchen sponges. That'll be great. Nice. Oh, librarian, Termite Kathleen. Spelled like mine. That's great.

[01:38:14] [SPEAKER_03] She also threw in some really cool sea salt stuff. Termite teas, Bigfoot. My Bigfoot bookmarker. Love it. This is where the people bring this stuff. You're like, what's going on here? The termite t-shirts are very creative. And I did not know termites don't have eyes. What are we all going to do about that? They don't? Most of them don't. That's what I learned in Biloxi.

[01:38:38] I didn't know that.

[01:38:39] [SPEAKER_03] People think I'm not out there doing work. Here you go. That's from Termites. Rich, Chris, and their super smart daughter, Jules, who drew the termite. She made up the t-shirt.

[01:38:50] [SPEAKER_00] Those look cool.

[01:38:51] [SPEAKER_03] I know this is the kind of stuff, though, the security folks start taking out of the bags going, huh? I'm like, yeah, you don't get it. It's a thing. I get it. The Ghost River. It's not for you. The Ghost River gold mail was delicious. That was from Termites Dave and Roger. Sea salt chocolates from Connecticut Termites Carolina. Connie. Nice. Connie. I have so many Connies in my phone. Cousin Connie. I have a lot.

[01:39:18] [SPEAKER_03] I have an inordinate amount of Mike's and Connie's. Don't you have a Mike and Connie married? And my cousin Mike is married to Connie. Yes. Assorted the chips. Paradise Park Lager. Oh, that's the Ghost Machine Ale, too. That's Katie and Howard. Thank you. Last few. Water. Oh, the Madigan's Warfront bar t-shirt. It's very cool. That's from Marty. Guinness candle holder. I love it. I love anything Guinness. Nice.

[01:39:46] [SPEAKER_03] And my unicorn cat t-shirt's phenomenal. I saw that downstairs. It's from Heather, Gail, and Leslie, and Colleen, and Tracy. I know. Well, now when I open the suitcase, Baby Cat immediately. That's why I check a bag, because I'm bringing all this stuff home. Otherwise, I would never check a bag. Nice. Local mule mix, check mix from Deb, Denise, Betsy, and Da. So thank you guys for all that stuff. And Baby Cat was very happy. There were lots of. She's just a selfish little beast. She totally is. It's all about meh.

[01:40:15] [SPEAKER_04] It's all about her. Okay. Here's the saint.

[01:40:23] [SPEAKER_03] Well, we'll do this in honor of Dax, my drummer friend for Cheap Trick. Nice. Saint Cecilia. I had a great aunt, Cecilia. She was adorable. She was a lot of fun. It's a great name. Nobody uses it anymore. No. You don't hear Cecilia's anymore. It's like a Catholic. It was an old very Catholic name. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Cecilia was betrothed to Valerian, but secretly, she had promised herself to God.

[01:40:53] [SPEAKER_03] She told this to Valerian, saying there was an angel watching over her. Valera. By the way, she's in charge. Well, I'll tell you. Valerian asked to be shown the angel. Cecilia said he must be baptized first. Upon his return from the sacrament, he saw Cecilia praying with her angel beside her. The angel crowned the couple's heads with lilies and roses. Valerian refused to renounce his new faith and was executed by the Roman prefect.

[01:41:18] There's a lot going on there.

[01:41:19] [SPEAKER_03] Well, before the authorities found Cecilia, she had converted over 400 people. She, too, was put to death and buried alongside Valerian. It is said she sang with angelic harmonies and could play any instrument. She may, may. This is how I love Catholic history. She may have invented the organ. We're not sure. Back then, we don't have any Instagram. We got no, we don't have computers. We have no records of anything. Rumor has it.

[01:41:48] [SPEAKER_03] Word on the street is St. Cecilia. And so, therefore, she is in charge, her duties. By the way, she's from the late second century. They don't have exact dates. They don't got shit on this lady. You gotta do better. She's in charge of music and musicians.

[01:42:04] [SPEAKER_04] Oh, wow. Yeah. There you go. Yeah.

[01:42:09] [SPEAKER_03] Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. David Bowie. We're doing a quote from David Bowie. Oh, boy. This is, he was interviewed in 1975. I'm sorry, he was interviewed in 1983 by Rolling Stone. And I guess they asked him, you know, about the drugs you've done or whatever. He said, well, I have incredible losses of memory. Whole chunks of my life. I can't remember, for instance, any.

[01:42:38] [SPEAKER_03] Not a minute of 1975. The whole year. Shit, I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't even know where I was living or who with. The whole year.

[01:42:52] [SPEAKER_04] That's funny.

[01:42:53] [SPEAKER_03] And since Dolly isn't really up to par, we'll do a Dolly quote.

[01:42:58] [SPEAKER_04] So, um. You gotta get a Dolly prayer candle then. A lot of them. I know.

[01:43:06] [SPEAKER_03] There's little butterflies up here.

[01:43:08] What's happening up there?

[01:43:09] [SPEAKER_03] This is about her husband, Carl. She's very sad he died on March 3rd, I believe. And that was the anniversary. So she was thrilled that. I get it. That's too bad. She said, this is what, his pickup line. I was walking down the street to the laundromat and he stopped me and he said, hey, you're going to get sunburned out here. Well, he had to say something. That's great. He said it's a terrible pickup line. You get it.

[01:43:37] [SPEAKER_03] That's what he, but actually he probably thought that. He was like, listen, little super white person from Hillbilly Mountains where you don't get the sun because you're trapped in the smoky mountains where there's. Under the smoke. All right, termites. I will see you down the road. Vegas is going to be fun.

[01:43:53] [SPEAKER_02] What are you doing in Vegas besides heroes?

[01:43:56] [SPEAKER_03] Um, well, I'm going to watch hockey in the sports book because I'm very excited about it. I love the hockey playoffs.

[01:44:01] [SPEAKER_05] Oh, Holly Bobby's a fan.

[01:44:02] [SPEAKER_03] Holly Bobby's a fan of his Anaheim Ducks. Right. I know. I can't. I'm like, Bob, I can't go along with the Disney theme bullshit. I can't do it. It's sports for Christ's sake.

[01:44:12] [SPEAKER_02] Bob and Adam Rank.

[01:44:14] [SPEAKER_03] Adam Rank.

[01:44:15] [SPEAKER_02] Adam.

[01:44:15] [SPEAKER_03] How can you sit here seriously and go, I love the ducks. Yeah. Okay. I love ducks in a park. I want, I don't want my hockey team. No, I want them to be hurricanes or tigers or something. I'm all in with Buffalo.

[01:44:29] [SPEAKER_04] I love it.

[01:44:31] [SPEAKER_03] Buffalo. I'm, I'm secretly.

[01:44:33] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:44:33] [SPEAKER_03] Well, they're not playing Bob's Ducks yet, so I don't have to worry about that. But, um, yes, I want Buffalo.

[01:44:39] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah.

[01:44:39] [SPEAKER_03] Now I chose Colorado and Edmonton. Edmonton fizzled out. I still say Colorado. I don't know how you beat them. I hope Buffalo's young and scrappy and maybe they can just, I don't, well, they haven't even made it to that point yet. But I still got one team out of my two picks in the running and my heart is with Buffalo because they haven't won in so, so, so, so long.

[01:45:02] [SPEAKER_02] And they're about to play Montreal.

[01:45:04] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah. And I.

[01:45:05] [SPEAKER_02] Which is not a Canadian team.

[01:45:07] Oh, stop.

[01:45:09] [SPEAKER_03] This is, this is Canadian racism at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. No.

[01:45:13] [SPEAKER_02] They don't want to be part of Canada. Okay. I can't get on board.

[01:45:15] [SPEAKER_03] Some of them do.

[01:45:17] [SPEAKER_04] Five of them.

[01:45:19] [SPEAKER_03] All right.

[01:45:19] [SPEAKER_04] Maybe.

[01:45:20] [SPEAKER_03] Well, you know, that's a fight you all can have with a bunch of labette, labette, blue light. Which also left for Buffalo. Yeah.

[01:45:29] [SPEAKER_04] Can't even get that up there.

[01:45:30] [SPEAKER_03] No, you can't.

[01:45:31] [SPEAKER_04] Terrible situation.

[01:45:32] [SPEAKER_03] I'm going to go eat my sunflower seeds and watch a storm come in, which is probably one of my favorite things in life to do. So I'm very glad I'm home and I'm very glad baby cat is inside because princess will shit in her pants if there's thunder. I'm going to go order a Dolly prayer candle and take, and take my electric chair home. No, your electric chair is staying here. All right. I'll go get into the desk. You can take it home when there's a local execution from somebody who robbed a 7-Eleven.

[01:46:01] [SPEAKER_03] Well, fucking kill him.

[01:46:02] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. Oh my God. Me nice. What are you doing? I got to get out of here. Ready? I can't run over.

[01:46:11] [SPEAKER_03] Is that Stevie? Who is it?

[01:46:14] [SPEAKER_04] I got to get out of my cage.

[01:46:15] [SPEAKER_03] This is deteriorating. I didn't even. Oh, okay. You turn the sign on. I'm like, shit, I didn't even turn the sign on.

[01:46:20] [SPEAKER_02] I got you. Yeah.

[01:46:21] [SPEAKER_03] Ready? Jesus. Ready? My data rights.