Episode 222: Fireball Pop-Tarts, Blue Ghost Fireflies, & Augusta’s Green Jacket Mystery

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_01] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. Termites, welcome. Welcome. Stevie just announced new tour dates without that ball and chain Billy Joel.

[00:00:32] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah, people like him. I get it. It's just, I'd rather just see Stevie. Thank you, thank you. But I don't know, there may be one, one of those dates I can attend this summer. That would be great. I'd like to see her outside if possible, please. And I'd like it to rain when she sings Outside the Rain. Wow, that's specific. Yeah, I have a lot. Termites. So many things. What are we drinking? Irish Goodbye, it's called Irish Goodbye Irish Coffee Oat Lager from Tactical Brewing.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_01] From my friend Jen, who's a very important person at Gatorland, and also from Philly. Yeah. Originally from Philly. All is forgiven. No, I'm kidding. I don't want any shit from Philly people. They're violent. They rise up. Yeah, they go in attack mode very quickly. I've seen it at the games. Oh my God. Anyway, what are we eating?

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_01] Well, the Irish Goodbye, the can is crazy too. It's got like a skull and a leprechaun outfit. Yeah, it's a sleprechaun. It's a sleprechaun. Skeleton. It's a skeleton. I can't say it. No. What are we trying? How about some Hidden Valley Ranch peanuts? Yeah. Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Some Ashley and Derek. Orlando termites. Where was I? I was in Orlando.

[00:01:48] Nice.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_01] And then I drove across the state to St. Pete. My mom already had left, so I missed Vicky.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_02] Vicky didn't wait for you.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_01] In the transition. I don't give a shit. No. These are very good. I'm not tasting a lot of ranch though.

[00:02:07] Just a lot of peanut.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_01] A lot of peanut. A lot of peanut. Yeah. I like when they say the prices on here, because I cannot believe the prices of snacks anymore.

[00:02:18] Ooh, it's crazy.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_01] Well, I don't really grocery shop, so I don't know what's going on at the grocery store. Oh. I don't like it. It's always fucking cold.

[00:02:28] Oh.

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. That's why you go grocery shopping. Well, the Kroger by my house, yeah, I have to wear like a winter coat. All, and I'm just one of many of old people. I call it the old people Kroger, because it's small, it's a baby Kroger, and they just want to pick up their cat food or whatever. Yeah. Everybody's got hats and gloves on. I mean, can't we just turn on a tiny bit of heat?

[00:02:45] You all look like you're shoplifting.

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_01] Everybody looks like we're selling cocaine or shoplifting. One of the two, for sure. Classic. That's a classic potato chip. Pickle balls. Get it? Pickle balls. They're dill corn puffs.

[00:02:58] What? That's good.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_01] I know. They sent a bag for Piccadillo, too. Nice. Wow. Oh my God. Oh! Wow. I love it. Wow, that is an explosion of dill.

[00:03:11] I like it.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_01] It's from Apollo Beach Termite. Claudia, now I like, it's got to settle down. My eyes are watery. But once it settles down, they're really good. I'm going to pop one. I'm going to give the other bag a bunch of them to Pinky right before we start. Because pickleball is starting. Yay! Maybe not today. It's 20 mile an hour winds. Maybe tomorrow. And Pinky's got a lot going on. Maybe tomorrow. Yeah. I got to leave on Thursday. Where? For Napa.

[00:03:38] Sold out. Boom.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_01] Bull shows sold out. I know. Next time they said I could stay three nights. Eventually, maybe I'll just live in Napa and do comedy every night. Wouldn't that be something?

[00:03:47] Take some wine.

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_01] How much wine can I drink before dead? That would be the question. How many wine tastings can I attend and act like I'm interested, but I'm really not? I'm like, I don't care about this history of this wine. I don't care what kind of grape it is. Just give me the bottle and move on to those people that seem to give a shit about all this. Right. I would care if I was at a brewery.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah.

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_01] But the wine, you know, this is, I've been on so many of those things where they tell you all about it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's all I hear. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Just pour the wine. Thanks. Do you have any snacks? They never have good snacks. I would go on a brewery, like there's the bourbon trail. My brother's been on it a hundred times. I've been into some of those, but kind of by accident. My cousin, Mary goes all the time. Brandon.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_01] Brandon, he wants to go for his 40th birthday. My friend at Gatorland, Brandon. And I told him, he said either Vegas or the bourbon trail. I go, go to the bourbon trail. Cause there's a set. There's a chance you could lose a bunch of money in Vegas and then you're sad on your 40th birthday. That's not good. You save that as an off weekend for whenever and whatever happens happens and you can live with it. Wild card weekend. Yep. It would be Brandon's wild card weekend. Anyway, the wine. I just, I don't care about like, I mean, I like Napa. It's pretty. Yeah. Yeah. These are Guinness flavored sourdough pretzel pieces.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_01] Oh, that's from Julie and a Kermite, a kid termite Jackson. Wow. Yeah. Where'd they get these? I wonder Burlington, Vermont. It's the home of Benny. Benny Sanders. We're going to talk about a Papa. Do you, or do you not support the onesie showed up at Coachella? Wow.

[00:05:35] He's so good.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_01] I got to give him credit. I will not, I have never attended Coachella. We're going to talk about that today, but I sure as shit am not going at this age. No. Because I'm too, I'm smarter than that. And Bernie somehow got his ass out there at age 83. Yeah. And I don't even care if you arrived in a private jet. I do not care. It is still a pain in the ass. Mm-hmm. It's hot.

[00:05:59] Yeah.

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_01] I mean.

[00:06:00] It's on fire.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_01] Good for him. 83 years old. I'm sorry, I'm busy. I'm going to Coachella. I'm going to say hello to, I don't know her name's like Clario or something. That's the show he jumped on. Lady Gaga was too busy to visit.

[00:06:16] So funny.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_01] You go get them, Bernie.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_00] I support everyone.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_01] I support the onesie. He was so mad at him. Last thing, Coastal Crab Boil Kettle Chips from Orlando Termite. Jimmy. Let's see. Sometimes they put crabs in chips and it gets weird. Ooh, that one's burnt on that end. Mm-mm, it's burnt. No. That's fine. Awesome.

[00:06:42] You like?

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_01] Carolina Kettle. Mm. They're really good. And it does kind of taste like a crab boil. It's Old Bay. Oh, it's Old Bay seasoning? Yes. Tricks me every time.

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_02] I know.

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_01] I fall for it. I fall for it every time.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_02] Crab equal Old Bay.

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_01] Love it. Good job, Jimmy. Thank you. Well, here's the shows we're going to do. And this does not cover the winter. No. This is just till-

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_02] Are you tired yet?

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_01] I'm so tired. It's, yeah. You're mad. But the shows are so good and they're sold out and that I don't get yelled at. And it's just fun. Once you get out there, it's just the traveling part. Which, by the way, I'm going to start making videos advice from Ant Cat and I'm putting them on TikTok. Cause it's starting to be warm. Listen to me, America. America. I don't have a lot that I find very important as a public service announcement. Stop wearing flip flops to the fucking airport. Right.

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_01] Have you not seen the videos recently? People had to walk off the wing of an American. You need a proper tennis shoe. Cause shit's getting weird out there. A proper tennis shoe. You need a proper tennis shoe. Don't wear a onesie. You'll get thrown off even spirit. Wear shoes where you can run. There's too many crazy things happening. Doors are flying off planes. And then what are you going to- When I see people in flip flops, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to regret that. Those flip flops will melt as soon as they hit that. Right. Where are your parents?

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_01] Where are your grandparents? Wear a sensible shoe. It's not like it used to be where flying was 100% safe. This is a gamble. You don't know what's going to happen. You could land way out on a tarmac and have to walk four miles back to a thing. Yeah. That's a public service announcement. Anyway, heading to Napa and then Milwaukee to tape the Amazon special.

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_02] Yay.

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_01] Yay. Congratulations. Yes. I'm very excited. Super secret opener beyond time. June 7th, Ransomar- Aguacaliente just announced. Fun. Casino. Yeah. Rancho Mirage. That's the 20th. June 27th and 28th, Charlottesville and Bristol. My friend Karen is going to come do the show with me. She sometimes does the shows with Leanne Morgan. I have successfully stolen someone off of Leanne's shows. She probably doesn't know that. I'm proud of that.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_01] I love it when I could trick a really good opener and leaving that person for a minute. But I don't think Leanne had any shows, so I'm not stomping on any grounds. No shows. Yeah. And I wouldn't steal, I wouldn't try to, you know- You're all friends. Steal somebody. Yeah, we're all friends. It's just kind of, I just think, huh. Because when I hear my super good openers are open for other people, I'm like, what? I don't like to hear that. Yeah. Mm-mm-mm. August 16th, Cape Cod Melody 10th.

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00] Boom.

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_01] 11th, Terre Haute. 13th, Elizabeth, Indiana. Okay. And then there's a million things after that. Where's Elizabeth, Indiana? Elizabeth, Indiana is about an hour from Indianapolis. Nice. I will base myself out of Indianapolis because I need to get some St. Elmo's. Greatest shrimp cocktail on earth. It's going to be part of my travel series. I'll take care of a little business here. Before we move on, we have a new, I don't know, somebody saw one once t-shirt because they all sold out. Yep.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_01] And Greg, my most awesome graphic artist guy, changed the front. Nice. And then changed the back. Oh, it's an anchor.

[00:10:05] Oh, cool.

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_01] It's an anchor. And it says Madigan's Pupcast. And then on the back, it's the mermaid. So there you go. If you want a new one or you didn't get one the first time because they sold out, there you go. You can throw it here. Oh, baby cat.

[00:10:18] Oh.

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_01] Meow. Meow. She's out like a light. She always acts so traumatized because I'm gone for two goddamn days. Yeah. And Aubrey's over here and Avi was here. There's something, they have plenty of company. Um, also this is new to the podcast. This is yodeling pickle.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_00] What?

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_01] Yep. This came from Orlando termites, Lori and Sherita. I can't stop it. This is ridiculous. It stops when it stops. I'm sorry termites. I'm not responsible for how long this is.

[00:10:54] It's a good pickle.

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_01] Yep.

[00:10:55] Yep.

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_01] We'll need that. There might be celebratory things. That stays. That's staying. We'll need that. We might. Okay. Okay. We're moving on into serious things. I got a couple of them actually. I gave Aaron one. Aaron's got a little baby. So if I have an extra one or something, it goes home to the baby.

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_02] We'll need one.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_01] We'll need one. We'll need one. Let's talk about Orlando Gatorland. Okay. My friend's brand. All those videos you saw were real. Yeah. It's all safe. Immediately my phone blew up. Kathleen. It's from my sister. You are way too close to those alligators. Oh, hush your mouth. You're sitting in Missouri. You don't know what's going on down here. I have plenty of pretty. Aaron is amazing. These alligators know their names. He calls them and they come. What are their names? The one was, well, Homie D. Because he was found in a Home Depot parking lot in a pond.

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_01] But here's the thing about Gatorland too. I don't want to hear any shit about animal treatment or anything. Because all of those animals would be dead if it wasn't for Gatorland. Yes. They are taking the ones that are hurt or permanently disabled. Jawleen. Half her jaw was cut off by a propeller. She would be dead. She had a school. Yeah. Now, does she want to live like that? Apparently she was tootling all around her area. She has a friend, a turtle friend, a little white albino turtle friend. That sounds boring. Yeah.

[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_01] There's a couple panthers and some old lady kept them as pets and then surrendered them because now they can't go live in the wild. So they have a wonderful place. They get fed. They were napping together. They're so pretty. I know. The serval was an illegal thing that got confiscated. So all of their work they're doing. That is the tallest cat I've ever seen. I mean, even the Panthers are almost the same height. Like that thing, it was a pet though. So it was friendly. I mean, it came right up and you can pet it.

[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_01] And cause my friend Aubrey used to work at the Nashville and she said, and she loves cats, but she goes, the servals were assholes. Every time I'd walk by them, they were just hissing and stuff. And she's like, I'm like, fuck you too. And I'm like, um, and my friends, I got to go a little bit early and Jen and Brandon took me everywhere. And, and Jessica, she's the cat. She's in charge of the cats. There's a bobcat back there.

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_01] And like, she can actually get in the Panther cage and everything's fine. Cause whatever. Um, a capybara. Now see, these are giant rodents, not giant. There's the size of it. They're funny though. They play rough with each other, like chasing each other, but they come right up to you like a dog. Um, I guess there's a Disney movie that's made it made them super duper popular because now it's the most wanted, um, ticket within the park. Like you buy, it's only like 30, 35 bucks total to get in.

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. I could spend all day and now they're going to open a beer garden in the back. I'm like, Oh my God, I'm going to have to get my retirement job there. Even though I say about Florida and I mean it five times a day in Florida, I will go, I fucking hate Florida. And then there's another five times that day that I'm like, Oh, I love it here. I'm never leaving. I love it. It's a love, hate relationship. Um, the traffic's always weird and it's old people and then young people like going too fast, carrying the old people.

[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_01] It's just a mishmash, but just pure terror. But, um, so you pay that, but then you buy an additional ticket if you want like a special thing other than the alligator. So you want to, you want to do the capybara experience, right? Well, apparently, um, that thing's booked forever now cause it's some Disney movie. And then he, Brandon gives them Wednesdays off cause he's like, they need a day. The capybaras get Wednesdays off. But like this Australian family showed up and they're like, well, we're only here for that experience. And Brandon's like, what do you want me to do?

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_01] They, these guys need a break. They work every day. Um, the movie in Canto, the movie in Canto, Chispy, the name of the capybara. I'm probably not even saying that right. Oh, well, they're super friendly. Um, and then I motored on over to St. Uh, Pete beach and went to a place called crabby bills. It was a lot of fun and they have really good clam chowder.

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_01] I know you don't think of Florida and clam chowder. I do though. Anytime there's clam chowder, I'm totally tasting it. Um, and they have some good shrimp. One of my favorite things is clam chowder. Yes. I'm the lady that used to go down to the wharf in San Francisco still would. And I go to every single stall to try it. They give you a tiny taste and then I go circle back to the best. I know. Um, both shows were great. Thank you to everyone in Orlando who made it into universal.

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_01] It was like senior night or something. There were 20 million teenagers in the park. Good for them. I hope they graduated. I'm sure there's a couple of GED stuck in there. Good for you representing Ron white, but, um, that was hard to get in. It was hard for even for me. Like I had a pass at a gate thing, but then they're all these barricades were put up because of the children. And then I had to start all the way at the beginning.

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_01] And yeah, it was, if it was hard for me and I get the secret pass stuff, it had to be super hard for the general public. So much. I know. And I know a lot of you guys brought stuff and they wouldn't let it in cause it has to go through universal first. I didn't know that.

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_00] It's also, no, it's also good.

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_01] The kids. The kids. Oh, because of the children. Yeah. Well, we're not giving them our beer. There's no termite here. That's given away their beer.

[00:16:22] No.

[00:16:22] [SPEAKER_01] Ridiculous. Um, couple of things for the team email that made me laugh and then we will get into everything. We're starting with queen share some news. She's going to like, um, these people have seen me a bunch of times. They love the podcast. Um, they muled some spotted cow, they beer from Wisconsin. It's illegal. So I will not be saying their last names. In case the, I don't know if the government right now has time for that.

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_01] Um, they had, they drank one in my honor. Um, there's five lady termites consisting of two of the children or 25, a Wisconsin termite that made her family mule spotted cow to Florida and two germites in our fifties. Saw the Savannah bananas a while ago and thought of you. Apologies for the long message. So that was very sweet. That was Jody, Brie, Justine, Carly, and Nadia.

[00:17:16] Yay!

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_01] Boom! Like throwing a little Russian in at the end. How about that?

[00:17:20] Nadia.

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_01] I like all the Russian things. This one made me laugh. This is from Dana. I will not be saying last names. I had her. So we're talking about the children cheating, cheating at work and like, what's his face? Jamie diamond, not understanding what the children are actually doing when he's like, where is everybody? I don't understand why nobody is at the office. Grandpa, nobody's been in the office for five fucking years.

[00:17:42] No.

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_01] She said, I had to share my son's tech work sheet. One of the new things companies are doing, listen to this shit, is temporarily hiring four people for one position for 90 days. After the 90 days, they pick one person and hire them. It's kind of like a cage fight. Okay. I don't even know how that's legal, but you know what? They used to do it in Vegas to the lounge acts, to the bands. They'd make them play like a week for free. And then they'd get to a month of this and then they'd pick a band.

[00:18:11] Wow.

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. It's so mean. I know. My son was always late to work. He can't help himself. 40 days in and they let two people go. And now it was between my son and a kid and different kid. My son said the other kid was very good at his job and they were definitely going to hire that guy. Not only did they hire him, they also hired my son, but made him home office so they didn't have to yell at him for being late. This was not a position that existed prior to them meeting him.

[00:18:37] [SPEAKER_01] The entire time he worked there, yes, during the 90 days, he was using an AI program to input all of the data he was supposed to be hand entering. He got paid for eight hours, but setting up the AI spreadsheet for the day only took him an hour. These kids are ballsy and I say if I can work for an hour and spit out eight hours of work, go for it. Long live the children. Yes. Wow. Whatever. I mean, if you can do it and you guys aren't smart enough to tell me how to do it, I figured it out on my own.

[00:19:07] [SPEAKER_01] Then I just get to do that. That's how I feel about that. Moving on. Queen news. Cher's going to be so happy. Her son's wife has filed for divorce. Oh. And I'm sure she wants $6,000 a month. I'll bet you share it easily. Just 10. Here's 10. Here's 10. Get away from my kid. Although I don't know. I mean, he's 48. I can't.

[00:19:35] [SPEAKER_01] You know, how long is mom supposed to bail you out?

[00:19:39] If you share? Forever.

[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_01] If you share. Well, I guess that's a trade-off. Mm-hmm. Vicki Madigan's no share. I love when these parents are helping people that are 50. I'm like, I've been paying for my parents' fun shit since I've been like 35. Like, oh, you guys want some frequent flyer miles? I've got a million. Here, let me get you on Southwest as my companion freaks. Yeah. So they're splitting up. That's really all my queen news. Chapel very quiet. Very quiet. Not at Coachella.

[00:20:10] [SPEAKER_01] It's almost festival season. It is almost summer festival. Jelly Belly's rolling around Nashville doing his thing. Stevie, new tour dates. He was in the Preds game. He was in the Preds game. Yeah, that's a hockey team. Dolly quiet. For one week, she didn't make something. I know, it's amazing. Stevie, new tour dates. So if you're a Stevie fan, check it out. Tay Tay's hiding. Yeah, Tay Tay's hiding big time, right? Let's talk about Coachella. Okay. So I called gay headquarters.

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_01] My friend Bronson. My friend Bronson. And I go, am I missing something? What is with, because my friend Clark, research assistant Clark sent me, shit, where did this go? This is important because it's, this is the quote of the day. The LA Times did a story about Coachella and the Canadians canceling all kinds of things. And I have a big story about that next week. But this week, quote, Clark said, quote of the day in the LA Times regarding Canadians canceling trips to Palm Springs for Coachella.

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_01] For a gaggle of gays to say Gaga is not worth it, you know there's a problem. So I called gay headquarters and I said, am I missing something? I saw Lady Gaga 10 years ago. I liked it. It was with the, the songs, but I haven't really. Yeah. I haven't seen a new anything. I don't understand the resurgence. She had all their little monsters.

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_01] She still calls her fans little monsters. Yeah. Cause they're the disenfranchised people. And let me tell you what, when I saw the kids walking into that concert, there, she nailed it. She nailed it. What was I doing there? I like her songs. And I was like, I didn't understand. I was supposed to be a disenfranchised young person. Why can't I just be a middle-aged lady that likes, you know, in this world. I like that one. Tell me something. I like Lady Gaga.

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_01] And she's like a classically trained pianist. Like she's very, very, very, very talented. I just don't really understand this resurgence. And here's a little something else. Another reason in 59 years, I've never been to Coachella. I don't buy surprise tickets to anything. If I buy a ticket, here's three things I have to know. Well, who is it? Where's the parking? Well, four things. Is there an opener? And where's the, how's the bathroom situation? Those are my four deal breakers.

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_01] Well, not, I don't care if the opener is bad. I don't, I'll just, we'll go get beers or whatever. But you pay $650. And I was informed this by gay headquarters because I've never researched it. Um, you, wait, how much? $650. Oh my God. You have to buy a pass to the whole deal. Oh. Right. And you don't even know this is before they've announced the headliners. Oh. Now here's the thing versus Bonnaroo, which I prefer, but I'm not a desert person really at all. Um, no Bonnaroo. Um, no Bonnaroo. I feel comfortable.

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_01] I feel comfortable in the woods and the slop and, but the desert. No. Well, you're paying $650. Right. Bonnaroo's acts mostly there's like a bunch I like. The headliners at Coachella, they're all very, very, very different on purpose. But here's the thing. If I like Lady Gaga, odds are I'm not a big Travis Scott hooptie ha person. That crowd would be totally different. It would be totally different crowds.

[00:23:31] [SPEAKER_01] So you're paying $650 to probably only see one headliner you like. If you're the Travis Scott person, you don't give a shit about Post Malone singing a country song. No. Well, people do it and they have a payment plan. You can pay $49 a month till you have paid this ticket off. Till you die. Then you're going to go in the desert and you're going to die. And you have to think, you're going to have to think as you're dying, I spent $650. That's a minimum. Right. You're talking about the $12,000 tents and the fancy bullshit. Right.

[00:24:02] [SPEAKER_01] Well, it was chaos just trying to get in. But Bronson said they search a car too. And like they had packed a bunch of shit. He didn't know what was a lot of people I don't think know what's going on. And then you get there and it's 12 hour lines to get in. Why not just go see Lady Gaga at the Hollywood Bowl?

[00:24:19] Right.

[00:24:19] [SPEAKER_01] I, and Bronson really couldn't understand the resurgence either. It's just Lady Gaga, I guess forever. You're an icon. Yeah. Are you a legend now? I don't even, you're not even old enough for that. No. She's not.

[00:24:34] [SPEAKER_02] Donatella Versace.

[00:24:36] [SPEAKER_01] Donatella Versace. Donatella Versace. She was great. Uh huh. Yep.

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_01] The doors weren't even open when this line started. Oh my God. The, um, they said it was the worst in history comparing it to fire festival.

[00:25:13] Oh God.

[00:25:14] [SPEAKER_01] Which according to Billy is happening next month. Um, uh, somebody who said we're waiting nine hours to get inside this festival, no bathroom, no food likely won't be returning. Uh, for real, what's going on with the car, um, camping? Uh, there's also no porta potties anywhere in sight.

[00:25:31] [SPEAKER_00] Oh my God.

[00:25:32] [SPEAKER_01] So let's say you really have to go to the bathroom bathroom. Mm-hmm. You're just shitting in the desert. Oh! Like, just like a jet. You might as well be on the front lines. Just like a regular old rattlesnake or another desert creature. Regular rattlesnake. Um, uh, the food, crazy expensive. Um, here was some, here's some headliners. Lady Gaga. Now, if you like her, are you going to like green, green day? Green day?

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_00] I'd see green day. I saw green day. And all of those of them were great. Green day was great. A long time ago.

[00:26:02] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. I don't know. It's so, it's fine, but I mean.

[00:26:06] [SPEAKER_00] They go back to Europe.

[00:26:07] [SPEAKER_01] They're still cool! They're, whatever. Post Malone. I know this song. Megan the stallion, the stallion. I hate that she makes me say the, but I will. Yeah, she's going to do it forever. That was part of the star studded lineup. Um, Post Malone. Yeah, but he sang all of his songs in a country version and I guess it pissed people off.

[00:26:32] Wonderful.

[00:26:32] [SPEAKER_01] Who cares? I don't care. Yeah, that's great. A lemonade. Um, uh, she got out, this girl bought a lemonade. It was $17. Bronson said the mixed drinks are like $35. Oh God! Right! What? This girl goes, it's mostly ice, but it's so good. For $17? No, you should spit that shit on the ground. Um, $102 for some tacos that look, mmm, okay. Like you made them? Yeah, it does look like, um, oh, this girl said $102 worth of food.

[00:27:01] [SPEAKER_01] I'm not going to lie. They're not good. They're not good at all. The tortillas were like freezing, like cold. Yeah.

[00:27:10] Like, here my god.

[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_01] It's a miserable money trap. The fact that general admission is $600, you still have to pay for food, for the, uh, middle range food is making me irrationally angry. Whoa! Whoa, the children. Whoa, whoa.

[00:27:22] They're rising up.

[00:27:23] [SPEAKER_01] Yep. Um, Bernie got on stage with Claro. I do not know who that is. Who's Claro? I don't know. Google Claro. Is that Charlie X? I barely know who that is, and I only know because it's their aunt live.

[00:27:39] Oh, she looks like a sad child. She's 26.

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_01] She's 26? Uh-huh. Well... Born in August. Does she have hits? Claro? Well, my niece does know Claro. What condition does she have? What's wrong with her? She has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Oh, god.

[00:27:57] Yeah.

[00:27:58] [SPEAKER_01] Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis is not good. No. That's that. Hits? Does she have any hits? Pretty girl. Pretty girl. Mm-hmm. Okay. I'll go look her up.

[00:28:09] Okay.

[00:28:09] [SPEAKER_01] We're moving beyond Coachella. I don't get it. I don't like crowds like that.

[00:28:17] No.

[00:28:17] [SPEAKER_01] What? Munity is her successful debut album. Okay.

[00:28:27] Um...

[00:28:27] [SPEAKER_01] Another Buc-ee's is planned to open...

[00:28:29] [SPEAKER_00] We sound really old.

[00:28:31] [SPEAKER_01] I know. I know. I totally sound like my parents.

[00:28:34] [SPEAKER_00] Who is Kyro?

[00:28:35] [SPEAKER_01] Hello. I'm Mr. Sanders. I'm a senator from Vermont and I don't support the onesie that RFK Jr. put messages on for the babies.

[00:28:45] Like what?

[00:28:46] [SPEAKER_01] For tiny people. Tiny people.

[00:28:48] Tiny people.

[00:28:49] [SPEAKER_01] Also known as babies.

[00:28:51] Tiny people.

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_01] Another Buc-ee's is gonna open in Virginia only an hour from D.C. Boom! Yeah! And I passed the first one in Mississippi last weekend. It wasn't open yet, but it's gonna be open soon. And it's off Interstate 10 because I saw the sign and I got all excited and it was like, oh, not open yet. Updates? We're moving on to updates. Okay. Let's do a Harkle update.

[00:29:14] No, dog.

[00:29:15] [SPEAKER_01] Megan and Harry, what are you up to this week? Hmm? Hmm? I'll tell you what they're up to. Who are you deep up to? She went to New York to go see Gypsy. I've never seen it. I've never seen anything.

[00:29:30] Is it a band?

[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_01] No, it's a musical. No. Like a play. Okay. Or whatever. Like a musical.

[00:29:37] [SPEAKER_00] Well, that's just going downhill. People go on stage and run about.

[00:29:41] [SPEAKER_01] People come out and do things on stage. I'll go to a play in a hot minute before I'll go to a musical. I just, me and Queen Stevie hate musicals. I hate them. I hate them with an irrational amount of hate, but we've talked about that before, so I won't go down that. No, it's okay. She used four, three, four security vehicles to get her to this. Now here's what, this is why New Yorkers are so, and it was only a mile. Okay?

[00:30:10] Nobody cares.

[00:30:11] [SPEAKER_01] The three SUVs remained empty as the caravan drove through the busy New York streets. It was absolutely abnormal, totally over the top, and excessive. Taylor Swift only has two cars, her car that she's normally in, and a security car with her team. If she's going somewhere and she has a separate car on site with her team already there, but they don't travel together. Other A-listers that don't do this shit. But see? I'm talking about her. This is what she wants. It's working.

[00:30:38] [SPEAKER_01] Kim Kardashian, Jay-Z, Beyonce, and Rihanna all travel with one car and then they were a family, then they allot for two. But no one gets police escorts. Why are the taxpayers paying for this shit? Why? I don't understand why. Why? Harry, meanwhile...

[00:30:53] [SPEAKER_00] They haven't announced all their shit.

[00:30:54] [SPEAKER_01] Well, Harry's over in England, still bitching from the last bitch, because it's in an appellate court now, that he doesn't get enough police security when he's home. You quit! I would literally... You moved to America. I do not understand how you don't understand what the definition of quitting is. Let's get out an actual dictionary, Harry, and let's talk about you quitting your job. You quit your job. You didn't quit your life, but you quit your job. Right. So the taxpayers in England should no longer have to pay for your bullshit. Right.

[00:31:23] [SPEAKER_01] You want security because you feel like, first of all, believe me, no one wants to capture either one of you.

[00:31:29] [SPEAKER_00] I wish somebody would so this would go away.

[00:31:31] [SPEAKER_01] Well, they're not... Nobody wants to kidnap a pain in the ass.

[00:31:35] No.

[00:31:35] [SPEAKER_01] You kidnap nice people. You don't kidnap... Oh my God. I don't get that. I don't get that. I don't get that. I don't get that. I don't get that. I don't get that. I don't get that. I don't get that. Well, it's the cops. Who's paying the cops? The people of New York. Ugh. And they were running the lights too.

[00:31:59] Oh.

[00:31:59] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. Somebody's got to be paying for it.

[00:32:01] Wow.

[00:32:02] [SPEAKER_01] Most stars don't utilize NYPD services. It doesn't mean they can't, but they don't. She can't. Because you bring your own. It's like bringing your own hair and makeup person. She paid for it in her jam sales.

[00:32:12] Ugh.

[00:32:13] [SPEAKER_01] Her jam sales. Oh, she sent jam to King Charles. Oh. Oh. Oh, okay. You went on global TV and called me a racist and then sent me jelly? Fuck off. No, no, no, no, no. Jelly ain't going to fix that. You didn't specifically said me. You said the family. So really you threw everybody under the bus and you could have just thrown one person under the bus and said it was Camilla. She's a total racist. Say who did it. And they said, well, I don't know.

[00:32:42] [SPEAKER_01] There were family meetings. Those two would never last an hour in one of our family meetings. No. No. Everybody's feelings are hurt. Tough shit. Grow up. Man up. Go get a beer. I just, just go see a stupid thing. Oh, it's good.

[00:33:00] She wants attention.

[00:33:01] [SPEAKER_01] She wants attention.

[00:33:03] Yeah.

[00:33:03] [SPEAKER_01] And then he's over there bitching that he doesn't have security when he's in England. That's why he can't possibly bring his children and his wife back. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then he went to Ukraine with no security and walked right into the middle of a war zone. Yeah. To just get another clip. I'm sure they're like, why is he here? This is where I think it's weird they don't feel uncomfortable. Because like in Iraq and Afghanistan on those tours I did, they would, we would go to hospitals to visit people. But I was with like super famous people like Robin Williams and stuff like very famous.

[00:33:33] [SPEAKER_01] So I understood if it was just me and Lou, I'd have been like, they're not going to know who we are. Like, we're just bothering people. We are actively bothering people that are in pain or they're sad or what? We're not Taylor Swift. We're not Robin Williams. Like these two, he shows up in a war zone.

[00:33:53] Yeah.

[00:33:54] [SPEAKER_01] What the fuck? All you're doing is causing problems.

[00:33:56] [SPEAKER_00] I have, I have a fake couple license.

[00:33:59] I can help.

[00:33:59] [SPEAKER_01] This is after in 2003, the couple was extremely upset and shaken following what their rep describes as a near catastrophic car chase. And everybody in New York jumped their shit in it. You can't have a car chase in New York because the traffic doesn't even move fast enough to have a chase. It was a relentless pursuit. No, it didn't. It was all made up. The Harkles. Yeah. She sent him a sample box of her as ever products. The podcast is eating shit too. Her podcast has been, I forget what, Confessions of a Female Founder. Let's start with the title. You didn't find anything. You found it.

[00:34:29] [SPEAKER_01] You found a prince. And then you were dumb enough to let him quit being a prince. Yep. And now he's just hairy. He's hairy. He's hairline.

[00:34:36] That should be the name.

[00:34:39] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah.

[00:34:40] And he can bitch about everything.

[00:34:44] [SPEAKER_01] He's trying to look at it. Such a whiny little thing.

[00:34:46] Gross.

[00:34:47] [SPEAKER_01] What do you do for, just go do something for a living. Yeah. It turns out I don't think he does know how to fly a helicopter. He doesn't. I know. I think that was, he was like the co-pilot and he's not really the guy. Yeah, they put him in like a, you know, a flight suit. A jumpsuit. Yeah. Yeah. The update. So, uh, I hate April Fool's Day. I, there's so many things that I thought were true and they're just not, I just don't understand lying. I don't, I never liked pranks. It's not my thing.

[00:35:16] [SPEAKER_01] But I saw a thing that Mattress Mac was quitting and I thought maybe cause he had just had all that heart surgery that maybe he really was quitting. He's not, but he is closing one of his stores. And so help me God. And so help me God, if I didn't have shows and stuff, I would run on down here cause there was some awesome furniture in this thing. And it's 70% off. Why did he close it? Uh, because they've, they tore up the road outside and he doesn't get the traffic. There's others that are still open. Yeah. This is gallery furnitures closing.

[00:35:44] [SPEAKER_01] It's post Oak showroom after 16 years of hawking leather recliners and mattresses to gallery area patrons. Um, 70% massive blow up. 70% all of it's at all of its three locations. I mean, if I'm just saying, if you're in Texas or anywhere, go, go. I have, I have no vested interest in this. This is not an ad. I'm telling you, he's going to shut a 30,000 square foot store. The one at two, four, 11 post Oak.

[00:36:12] [SPEAKER_01] It's the smallest of the three chains location. And that's what they're so large. I mean, you could, and I like it and I hate shopping, but that was fun. Cause there's some crazy shit in there. Normal stuff, everything. Um, he said the traffic went down by half cause they tore up the road, the construction of the new uptown BRT line in post Oak. So just saying if you're a, if you're a Texas termite, get on over there, Louisiana. You can get over there in no time. Just get on the highway, get on over there.

[00:36:44] [SPEAKER_01] What are we watching? Well, I've started mob land and I love it. Helen Mirren Pierce Bronson. They play an Irish mob family that lives in England, London specifically, and they do very mobby things. They're going to start moving fentanyl and she walks around with a martini, which is probably the reason she shot, had somebody shot in the family room. Um, maybe lay off on those martinis before we decide if we're going to murder someone

[00:37:13] [SPEAKER_01] on a really good couch. I'm like, you're going to ruin that couch. There's going to be blood everywhere. Um, so highly recommend mob land. Um, mob land. Um, my friend Kay. Yeah. Um, she started that one after 1923. Um, because every, every Sunday I get home from the road and I want to watch it. I get a text of her saying if these assholes don't get to Montana in this episode, I'm like, I know they're never going to get to Montana. I know.

[00:37:44] [SPEAKER_01] Um, watching the masters. Oh, if you're not a golf termite, um, this is, we'll be quick and painless. Um, cause it's really the only sports going on right now, except the NBA playoffs. And I don't really follow the NBA cause St. Louis never had a team. So hockey playoffs are about to start. That'll be fun. My blues are a wild card. There are, there have caught fire at the end though. My little St. Louis blues have caught fire at the end. There's chances. There's hope. There's vested hope.

[00:38:12] All right.

[00:38:13] [SPEAKER_01] But I also don't know if I can afford another run like that. I was so tired by the end of it. And I spent all my money to go cause I'd never been to a Stanley cup final and I wanted to go. And I thought the blues hadn't done that in 50 years and they may not do it for another 50 and then I'll be dead. So now is my only time worth every penny. Um, so the masters Rory won. He got the monkey off his back because he was trying to go for the grand slam. It's the same tennis grandson.

[00:38:43] [SPEAKER_01] Everybody's you know, you gotta win all of them. And it'd been 11 years since he'd won, but he was on, uh, one of the holes on the back nine and he chunked a chip. I I've never seen anything that inexplicable and I don't want to brag, but I have friends with Peter Casas who used to be the CV CBS, uh, golf report. And I texted Peter and I'm like, what was that? And he goes, I have no words. Brain fart.

[00:39:10] [SPEAKER_01] I mean, this is a man who announced golf every day of his life. And he's like, I, I, I, all you had to do was get it to the middle of the green. Why are you shooting to the pin? You could have just flat out one. He's mental. Like he needed, he needs a sports shrink. And then we all need one from having to watch him. We all, that was the craziest ending to a masters. And I felt a little bit sorry for Justin Rose. Um, because he seems like a really nice dude and he, and he made a putt on 18.

[00:39:37] [SPEAKER_01] It was astonishingly great that did earn him the playoff spot. But then, you know, and he's getting older. He's 45, 44, 45, Rory's 34, 40, 35, 10 year difference. Justin, much like my game, it will fade with age. You just lose your PowerPoints. Yeah. That's why I'm going to work on my putting. I'm going to work on my putting and that's how I'm going to keep beating my friends. Oh, you think I lost some distance? Maybe so, but watch his putt.

[00:40:09] [SPEAKER_01] My putter.

[00:40:09] [SPEAKER_00] What do you have?

[00:40:12] [SPEAKER_01] Um, well, I can take a picture of it. Um, it's a, it was a gift from my friend, Peter Costas. Um, yeah, the, the, the head cover says tour players. There's only like, Oh yeah. The young guys are like, whose is this? I go shockingly. It's mine. You didn't see that one coming. Did you? Cause it's official. Like, yeah. Um, it's a Scotty Cameron and it's like a, it looks like, well, I call a spaceship. I don't know. It looks like, no, it's probably not called the spaceship.

[00:40:41] [SPEAKER_01] I don't know. It looks like fangs. It's like, it's, it's, it's like probably three inches. It's not a blade putter, not just a single blade. And it's right. It's like a rectangle that turns into fangs. Like it looks like a, I don't know.

[00:40:58] [SPEAKER_02] I don't know.

[00:41:00] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. Um, this guy, how about this shit? Um, this guy found a master's jacket in a thrift store.

[00:41:15] [SPEAKER_02] What? A real one?

[00:41:16] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. Um, this jacket's been presented since 1949 and it's your thing, right? And then you get to wear it around forever and ever and ever. Um, I did not know this, but at one time you, you leave one there and you get to take one with you. Arnold Palmer's jacket was stolen from the other side of the world. And sold quote sold for 3.6 million until FBI agents swarmed during the planned handoff.

[00:41:39] Oh wow.

[00:41:40] [SPEAKER_01] So if you work there, you could just, yeah, but don't because you're going to get caught. Um, uh, here we go. Hold on. In 1994, a golfer came across a jacket with a price tag of $5 in a Toronto thrift store. It turned out it was not a bad thing. He's in a thrift store. He finds it at finders keepers. Losers weepers. Um, I know I found it. Do you know how many thrift stores had to go to find it?

[00:42:10] [SPEAKER_01] Um, Toronto. I don't know how it made it up north. It turned out it was an authentic green jacket with the original owner's name, uh, cut out of the jacket. So we don't know you got to cut it cause they'll kill you. They will hunt you down and kill you if they found out you sold it. Um, still other tagging allowed experts to date it back to the early fifties, making it among the earliest in existence. I was going to say Phil Nicholson cause we were cash. Phil might've needed it for a gambling debt. Yeah. Or maybe he put it up as a collateral on a debt.

[00:42:39] [SPEAKER_01] Um, the club refused to answer questions about regarding the identity of the original owner. Well, cause you don't know, I guess you could narrow it down and say who got one in the fifties. Um, it's generated massive media attention, even appearing on the cover of golf international magazine in 2007, which featured model Jody kid wearing the jacket. Um, but hold on. Uh, eventually he was convinced to sell the jacket.

[00:43:05] [SPEAKER_01] Um, in 2017, more than two decades after it was purchased for five bucks, the thrift store green jacket sold for $139,348 and 80 cents. Wow. What cheap Jack straw through the 80 cents on the end? Right. Right. You know what I got? No, I've done my math. Let me see. It's going to be 139. Um, as the original owner of the green jacket, whether tournament winner or a club member cause club members get them too.

[00:43:31] True.

[00:43:31] [SPEAKER_01] But you, if you're that rich that you're a club member at Augusta, you're not selling your shit to a thrift store. I bet you somebody's wife did it. Oh, I bet he died and she probably didn't understand. And she probably just thought it was an ugly coat. Like, I mean, aside from St. Pat's day, when are we wearing this? Really, Bob? Let's get some shit out of this house. I could see my mom doing it. Jack, I threw all that out. My dad would be like, what?

[00:43:59] What? Threw out your green jacket.

[00:44:01] [SPEAKER_01] Threw out your green jacket. Here's the thing. I like this. Um, we don't know anything about the original owner. His identity has never surfaced, but we do know he was a size 42 regular. So we could find him like that. Right. Let's start looking for a 42 regular. Is that a common size? I don't even know. Um, here's a little something about the masters too. And then I'll show up. It was just interesting. People is a people story. So the masters over the years, cause sometimes I go to the practice rounds.

[00:44:30] [SPEAKER_01] I've never been to the real tournament, nor do I ever want to go. Cause I'm too short. No, Ron left. Ron white is six foot two, 230 pounds. He goes, yeah, they gave me a ticket on some Sunday and I couldn't see shit. I went and got on a plane and I was watching it at a Hooters in South Carolina before it was over. That's right. Good man. Yeah. I mean, it's just too hard, but the practice rounds are fun. Um, but anyway, uh, they have done a million. They're trying to expand parking. They're trying to buy more land. Well, there's a holdout.

[00:45:00] [SPEAKER_01] Elizabeth Thacker, she's 93 years old and she refuses to sell her home. Despite years of lucrative offers from Augusta, Nashville, there's one ranch house. No way. And they need it to complete this whole renovation thing. And Liz, Elizabeth, she's like, she hates golf. She, I don't know if she likes it or not. It's a 1900 square foot home from, uh, 1959 for decades. They watched as Augusta national transformed from a historic golf course into an empire over

[00:45:29] [SPEAKER_01] the past 10 years, the clubs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The hospitality is parking and maybe even a second course, which is what I think we should do with the old people. And I'll put myself in that category. If you are a past champion, you shouldn't get to play till your legs don't work anymore. No, because you're taking up a spot. You cannot fucking win. Everybody knows that if you're over 60, that's my rule. We're going to have a separate tournament for past winners. This is my idea. Nine holes.

[00:45:59] [SPEAKER_01] That's perfect. And then you're all back having your cocktails and guacamole later, but chips, I have chips and salsa, your egg salad sandwich, whatever you want, whatever, but to have people taking up spots. That's why my brother always says it's the easiest golf tournament to win because they let all the old guys come out there. Like they have a chance. You do not stop it over 60. You're in the special tournament. I got it all organized. A lot of free swag. You're going to love it.

[00:46:28] Here's your free shit.

[00:46:30] [SPEAKER_01] Here's a bunch of free shit. Get off that course or let them come. Let them play it on Monday past champion Monday because you know, and then they can play nine and then the pros can practice on the front nine of the back nine. Yeah. Um, so she's not doing it. The house is worth around 360, uh, 6,000 bucks. Um, and they've offered her apparently she, Oh, Oh, a smaller house.

[00:46:58] [SPEAKER_01] The Thacker's own down the street was sold to the club for 1.2 million. It was flattened within a week. Yeah.

[00:47:05] Yeah.

[00:47:06] [SPEAKER_00] They probably have a son. Will the kids sell it?

[00:47:11] [SPEAKER_01] I wouldn't trade my house for a membership. No, I would not. Not a house. You can admit. Would you? Yeah.

[00:47:20] [SPEAKER_02] Especially at Ranch and Augusta.

[00:47:22] [SPEAKER_01] You and Ron White and Jeff Foxworthy. Yeah. Good company. Um, all right. We're moving on. Can we talk about Gail King?

[00:47:33] [SPEAKER_00] Oh, I mean, I didn't understand any of that.

[00:47:37] [SPEAKER_01] I did notice it. I think we're promoting space travel for normal people for well for obviously rich people or star people, or here's the other thing. Um, the media, even Lester Holt, who I respect more than anyone in the media, cause he just gives you the news. Stop calling them astronauts. Right? No, you're not. So offensive. You're a rich person on a joy ride. Uh huh. And there's nothing wrong with that. Rich people do all kinds of crazy shit with their money. Uh huh.

[00:48:04] [SPEAKER_01] If that's what you want to do, or your stardom, your celebrity, um, you cannot call them astronauts. No. It's offensive to astronauts. There's a picture of Sally Ride. Like she had two degrees in physics. Yeah. Um, she's a, I mean, from Stanford. Right. She worked her ass off to be called an astronaut. Okay. And, I mean, I feel that way about the word comedian, and that's not even a serious thing. Ours is a jackass circus clown show.

[00:48:31] [SPEAKER_01] No, there's a lot of people on Netflix and a lot of people in the media being called comedians. And I'm like, okay, that's weird. Cause no comedian I know has ever heard of said comedian. They're not there. They're sketch people or YouTubers, or I don't know, but a comedian doesn't require what an astronaut flipping requires. I mean, it's so offensive to the astronauts. Um,

[00:48:56] [SPEAKER_02] Kathleen, have they fielded up the rocket?

[00:48:58] [SPEAKER_01] A lot of people called it the world's most expensive theme park.

[00:49:01] Um,

[00:49:03] [SPEAKER_01] Katy Perry.

[00:49:04] I mean.

[00:49:04] [SPEAKER_01] I did. And then the quote when she got out of it, I experienced love. What? What are you talking about? It's morning. I haven't finished my coffee. Stop it. What are you saying? I don't even watch CBS. I watch NBC, which is just, it's all disasterable in the morning. It's everybody on the today show has written a book and then they talk about it and they just interview each other. It's just such terrible, but I don't watch CBS.

[00:49:34] [SPEAKER_01] I will say I did turn it on. Cause I wanted, I love Nate, but there's always one or two in there that are awesome. But Michael Strahan's guy got to golf with Michael Strahan one time. He was the nicest man ever. And I was shocked because a man that large, it was for comic relief back in the day, a man that large went up to the tee box and just, he only hit it like 30 feet of ground dirt. And I was like, Oh, whoa, I didn't see that coming. Cause you're at this athlete and you're, yeah, you're so muscular and big.

[00:50:03] [SPEAKER_01] I expected that ball to go 350 yards. It went about 35. Yeah. I drew a further than him.

[00:50:11] Yep.

[00:50:12] [SPEAKER_01] Um, I don't really understand. Are, are we trying to get more people to sign up for this? I mean, what? Well, yeah, those two people that got stuck for a year. I mean, yeah, they know what it is. I just, um, they were up there for 12 minutes, but only like three was you.

[00:50:41] [SPEAKER_01] First of all, I will say I do think it's brave because I wouldn't get, I know a weekend of training. That's not even, I mean, yeah. Um, I, I wouldn't do it. No, no. Um, I don't care enough to see earth from up there. I trust you. I've seen the videos. I'm not, I, but I think that's because I was emotionally scarred from the challenger as a college student. I was in journalism, TV, radio.

[00:51:11] [SPEAKER_01] We had all the screen. We had all this super cool stuff and they were like, Oh, come on in the TV room. The challenger is going up. And then everybody in America had a story about one of their teachers was second place, but didn't get the gig. We all had a story. We had a story like that. Yeah. My high school. Well, they almost picked Mr. So-and-so, but rats. He did. Well, he should be real glad. And then watching that when it went and then it just exploded. I'm like, Oh, so they're all dead. Right.

[00:51:40] [SPEAKER_01] Is that the part that exploded? Yep. Yeah. I wouldn't get in this thing. Um, but I guess CBS mornings ratings are super bad, but here's what they don't get. One day ain't going to fix that one day. Oh, our ratings got good because you know, Kathleen and whomever else turned over. Um, CBS mornings draws fewer than 2 million viewers in each of the last weeks of Mark of March. That's not good. No, it's bad.

[00:52:09] [SPEAKER_01] Um, yep. So I don't know. Um, uh, I wouldn't know. And I don't, you can be, do you really care about being weightless and flying around? No. I don't care. I mean, not enough to risk my life. Mm-mm.

[00:52:25] [SPEAKER_02] I don't get it.

[00:52:27] [SPEAKER_01] I'd rather die at Coachella. I mean, if we're going to start thinking of ways for me to die, at least maybe I could see a headliner I loved. If it's Florence and the machine, I'll do it. I'll die. I'll go ahead and pay the $6.50 and I'll die. Um, holy shit, they found it. This is so great. People think this is a made up animal. It's not. It's called a jaguarundi.

[00:52:55] [SPEAKER_01] No, jackalopes are the ones that are kind of maybe made up. Um, scientists capture haunting trail cam footage of the elusive pair rarely seen in the wild together. It's two jaguarundis. Now they're the size of like a regular house cat, but their faces are kind of crazy looking. They look, but I'm obsessed because I'm obsessed with all, they were in Honduras. This is why trail cams are one of the greatest inventions in my life. They, you can keep cell phones and computers. I don't care about any of that, but trail cams the best.

[00:53:23] [SPEAKER_01] Um, they captured the rare jaguarundi in Honduras. These wild cats are native to central and South America are virtually unknown to scientists, given the species discreet nature, making this camera capture immensely valuable. The footage shows two up close walking and sitting in front of the camera. They're reportedly very few and they're seldom studied because their population is thought to be relatively stable as they are not threatened by the illegal fur tray. You wouldn't want their fur. No, it just looks like rough cat fur and they're classified that the, the, the, the, the,

[00:53:52] [SPEAKER_01] their status should be reviewed regularly. Literally they hunt at night. So it's, you don't really see them that much. Um, but go look at the picture of these things. It's they're, they're awesome looking and I would die if I saw one in the woods, but you probably wouldn't. Yeah. Um, moving on to news. Here's something that I, if I, this is the kind of shit I'm going to do when I'm retired because I think, well, I can't go to this. I got to work. I've never heard of this.

[00:54:20] [SPEAKER_01] This is rare blue ghost fireflies. Missouri people call them lightning bugs.

[00:54:26] Ghost fireflies?

[00:54:27] [SPEAKER_01] Blue. They're blue. We'll soon light up Western North Carolina. Here's how to see them. Um, one of mother nature's most spectacular nighttime shows is back and you're invited. Blue ghost fireflies will light up the mountains of Western North Carolina. Well, wait, I'll be in Bristol. Wait, that's, well, that's Eastern Tennessee. So I need Western Carolina. I'll be there. I wonder how long this is like, um, you can get front rows fan fans are offered front row

[00:54:56] [SPEAKER_01] seats in the beautiful pizza national forest. Um, it's a rare species of firefly or lightning bug. I vote lightning bug. That's what we call them as kids found only in the mountains of Southern Appalachia known for their tiny size and distinctive blue green lighting during mating season. The elusive blue ghost fireflies year yearly display is said to resemble a collection of fairies carrying blue candles through the forest. Ah, ah, ah.

[00:55:24] [SPEAKER_01] And then you play some Florence in the machine and the whole place just implodes with joy. Um, they're the only, uh, species of fireflies in North America that emits the blue light. Cause normally they're yellow. I mean, I grew up with only yellow. Maybe you could call it white. I don't know. Um, you can get the blue ghost firefly tours. They start with informative sessions at the cradle of forestry's outdoor amphitheater. Cool.

[00:55:51] [SPEAKER_01] And then following visitors are set out on a leisurely hike along a paved trail through the forest where they'll have the chance to observe these enchanting creatures up close. General admissions 55 bucks.

[00:56:01] Cool.

[00:56:01] [SPEAKER_01] It's a lot less than Coachella. Uh, kids tickets are 27 gates open at eight. That's right. You can keep on going on the schnotes. If you want more information now, see if I was retired, I'd be like, I'm totally driving there. Yeah. Um, right now. Um, I have some time off in May. Yeah. This is crazy.

[00:56:24] [SPEAKER_02] So you don't kill anybody in an airport.

[00:56:26] [SPEAKER_01] I'm going to kill somebody in an airport. I know I can't be around. And that's why I try not to work so much in the summer. I can't be around people who don't travel all the time. And I know that sounds snobby or whatever. It's just a rhythm. The rhythm in January. Perfect. Everybody flying is flying for work probably has to do it frequently. Once you get, I saw a lady. She at the national airport walk up and said, I don't know where I'm going and handed her ticket to the person to read it. Like, what did you do? Did someone buy you a surprise ticket? I don't even know how that happens.

[00:56:56] [SPEAKER_01] And the Delta ladies always, they see me, they know me. They're always guys too, but, but there's always an eye roll or eye rolling. And I'm like, yeah, there you go. A dude in Vegas. Well, Pahrumpf, close to Vegas. Pahrumpf? That's the name of the town. Yeah. Pahrumpf. Pahrumpf. I always said Pahrumpf. I don't know if you're supposed to say it that way. Someone will correct me.

[00:57:21] Sure.

[00:57:21] [SPEAKER_01] It's a town 65 miles west of Las Vegas. So it's an hour away. I've golfed out there. I think he had seven quote, emotional sport tigers.

[00:57:31] What?

[00:57:32] [SPEAKER_02] Mm-hmm.

[00:57:33] [SPEAKER_01] He's 71 years old.

[00:57:34] What? Yep.

[00:57:36] [SPEAKER_01] The authorities seized him. He claimed they were emotional support animals that he kept in his home. Um, he had been seen walking the wild animals on and off his desert property and posts on social media showed him allowing others to interact.

[00:57:50] Wow.

[00:57:51] [SPEAKER_00] Wow.

[00:57:53] [SPEAKER_01] Well, that would have been me. Are they tame? Can I pet that thing? Yeah. Oh shit. I needed my left hand. That's the one. He said he did not need the special contented animal permits because, because according to law site, he filed, he'd already been recognized by the county that these were recognized as his. Here's the thing. At a 70, he was, he's a veteran and he claims he has PSD. I don't know. That could all be true.

[00:58:21] [SPEAKER_01] Um, how are you affording to feed these guys?

[00:58:24] Right.

[00:58:25] [SPEAKER_01] I, if it wasn't for fans, there'd be weeks where I'm not buying the greenies because they're little pig children and I'll eat all of them in one sitting. They're all fat. No, baby cats, not fat. Uh, no, she's not.

[00:58:38] Yeah.

[00:58:40] [SPEAKER_01] They're just growing.

[00:58:42] [SPEAKER_02] They're still growing.

[00:58:45] [SPEAKER_01] They're gonna be growing until they're 20. Then they'll start shrinking. Um, how do you afford to feed seven tigers? I mean, even if you throw them a hamburger, that's not enough. You need like, I've saw, if you watch tiger King, you see what they eat is crazy. Um, there's a place in Arkansas that wants to take them and they're prepared. Like they actually have a thing, which is very, very lucky because a lot of time my friend kept Kevin, who's the vet says they just have to be put down because no zoos want them. Right.

[00:59:16] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. It's very sad. Um, uh, yeah, it's a paradise for them. Arkansas sanctuary hopes to keep a seized tigers. Um, and that, so good luck, Arkansas. Yeah. Here's a little something crazy. This just blows my mind. America's number one casual dining restaurant. Olive garden got pushed to the second place. Who do you think topped them?

[00:59:46] [SPEAKER_02] Chili's Chili's.

[00:59:50] [SPEAKER_01] Nay, nay. No.

[00:59:52] [SPEAKER_00] Longhorn.

[00:59:53] [SPEAKER_01] Not longhorn. No.

[00:59:56] [SPEAKER_00] Texas.

[00:59:58] [SPEAKER_01] Same. Same as longhorn. Texas roadhouse. Texas roadhouse. All I remember doing a bunch of shows in Canada with Lewis and we went in it and he is a foodie of all foodies, Lewis. He knows everything. He is very specific. He loves food. Like he just loves everything. We go into a Texas roadhouse in Canada. Just want to mark how far north we are. And he ordered the ribs. Oh, that's a bad idea.

[01:00:27] Oh, that's a bad idea.

[01:00:27] [SPEAKER_00] Bad idea.

[01:00:28] [SPEAKER_01] They were gross. Yeah. Because the barbecue sauce was so sweet. They might've just thrown Jolly Ranchers in it and melted candy in it. It was so sweet. And I thought, well, there's probably a lot of Canadians that haven't gone to the United States to go get like Kansas City or Texas or North Carolina barbecue. And they don't know. So they might think it's good. They don't know. Yeah. I can't believe this place. They saw a 14.7 increase in sales. My, maybe I'll have to go again on the road.

[01:00:56] [SPEAKER_01] I was, I always drive right by it because I'm like, no, I don't remember what I got. I was so obsessed with the fact he did that. I'm like, we are in Canada. Yeah. Barbecue doesn't connect here. Boo. Lou, you're just, oh my God. They've pulled in $5.5 billion.

[01:01:15] [SPEAKER_00] Wow.

[01:01:16] [SPEAKER_01] I know. Shocking. Here's. I know. Here's some shocking news.

[01:01:22] Mm-hmm.

[01:01:23] [SPEAKER_01] So the lady, Alyssa, and I swear to God, I'm not making up this last name. Heiner Schneid.

[01:01:29] Oh, it's your friend.

[01:01:30] [SPEAKER_01] Alyssa Heiner Schneid, who was responsible for the Bud Light disaster of sending Dylan or whatever, the transgender person and then the pictures and then Kid Rock is shooting machine guns. Yeah. And it got so out of hand. Mm-hmm.

[01:01:46] Quickly.

[01:01:47] [SPEAKER_01] She's been hired by Live Golf.

[01:01:49] Shut up. Yep.

[01:01:51] [SPEAKER_01] If you don't know what Live Golf is, it's Greg Norman's, uh, did a break off league with the Saudis and they paid everybody a billion dollars if you come and play and no one's watching. No. And I love how Greg Norman, he used to be a golfer in case you don't follow, he says, yeah, we're going to play golf differently. Oh no, I don't think so. I don't think so, Grandpa. Golf was established in 1457. Uh-huh. The year 1457. Uh-huh. There is no other golf. No. This is the golf we're playing until time runs out. Right.

[01:02:19] [SPEAKER_01] It's a team thing and there's music and everybody wears shorts. It's just, it's an exhibition. It's exhibition. I do not care for it. But anyway, they hired this woman. Who would do that? You can hire her something else, but not a marketing person. Talk about read the room, Bud Light.

[01:02:37] Right.

[01:02:41] [SPEAKER_01] They lost 26% of sales for her error. Uh-huh. And I told you they wouldn't fire her. Yeah. They just say she's been taking the time off or whatever, and then she pops up somewhere else. Live golf.

[01:02:53] Wow.

[01:02:54] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. She took an absence. Is that how the children quit now? You can't fire me. I'm taking a leave of absence. That's hilarious. Um, she said the brand was in decline. She just did what she had to do. She doesn't see anything bizarre about what Mulvaney was the name of the kid. Dylan, that's right. Um, and it just erupted into Bud Light. Yeah. For a while there was a two fraternity khaki wearing thing. I get it. Yeah.

[01:03:22] [SPEAKER_01] But you don't expand by going to the transgender person. You expand by calling Luke Bryan. Yeah. And go, hey, would you do an ad in your fishing boat? Right. We're going to go away from the, the fraternity guys. And we're going to go a little more outdoorsy.

[01:03:36] [SPEAKER_02] Right.

[01:03:38] And then we'll still support.

[01:03:39] [SPEAKER_01] That just shows you, I don't think Alyssa Heiner Schneid has drank nearly as much Bud Light as I have in my life. I guarantee you.

[01:03:47] No.

[01:03:48] [SPEAKER_01] Um, it's great that she's the, it's great that they do pride praise and stuff. Yeah. It's great that they support the thing. It was just a marketing, terrible idea. Yeah. Terrible ideas. Cause you don't fit with the plan here right now. That was what we're trying to do. Nothing against Dylan.

[01:04:03] No.

[01:04:04] [SPEAKER_01] And then I don't know if I would have wanted to be Dylan cause there was so much backlash. Um, you know, and Hey, I'm just holding the can. They gave me. Right. I didn't, I didn't think of all this shit. Um, yeah, she's been there for eight months. I just can't even, um, anyway, um, Bud Lights dug itself out with the shape. Oh, live golf. No, no.

[01:04:32] [SPEAKER_01] They had the Shane Gillis and the post Malone commercials there. They're clawing back, but it was a terrible error in judgment. Um, for what you're trying to sell for the product based with the clientele and read the room, read the room. She just, why would you hire her for beer anyway? You hire me for beer. You don't hire me for your fancy wine. I get it. I have a place. Everybody's got their thing.

[01:04:54] Right.

[01:04:57] [SPEAKER_01] Here's a little something. This, this is bizarre to me on Harriet, on Harriet Tubman day, a new effort to place the abolitionists on the $20 bill launches. I agree. Yeah. But I don't know why we're still talking about cash. Why are we talking about taking Andrew Jackson's picture off the $20 and putting her, she should be like the face of Venmo for a while. Everybody gets it for a while. Here, it's your year. And then we celebrate. Yes.

[01:05:25] [SPEAKER_01] Is she, was she a better human than Andrew Jackson? I believe so. He owned 800 slaves and I've toured his house. Little rednecky. Yeah. Compared to Thomas Jefferson. What, what, what, what? Thomas Jefferson just mic dropped on you, Andrew. That's true. It's going to be taken up again in Congress. This is what's wrong with old people governing us. Yes. We're not talking about cash anymore. No. Sometimes I find money going out of a lot of loves gas station, a lot of money on the ground, coins. And I mean, I, yeah, I find a lot.

[01:05:55] [SPEAKER_01] I, nickels. I found a nickel last weekend and I was like, I haven't seen a nickel in like 10 years. I don't know. No. What are we, why are we talking about this? She should get something, but we're moving on to the next thing.

[01:06:09] Yeah.

[01:06:10] [SPEAKER_01] Venmo PayPal. I don't know. Whatever cash.

[01:06:13] No.

[01:06:16] [SPEAKER_01] Or you get your picture put on the things in the store where you swipe your card. Yeah. I just can't even, this is, that's our, that's our government. Here's some good news. Pop tarts is to launching two new never seen before flavors. You want to guess? Pop tarts. I love pop tarts. Strawberry is my favorite. Um, mm.

[01:06:47] [SPEAKER_01] Two new flavors.

[01:06:48] [SPEAKER_02] Are they fruity?

[01:06:49] [SPEAKER_01] No. The one, the first one's not.

[01:06:51] Oh.

[01:06:52] [SPEAKER_01] Sweet.

[01:06:53] Oh.

[01:06:54] [SPEAKER_01] It sounds, it's not for me. Cinnamon whiskey. Cinnamon whiskey. That'd be great. A fireball pop tart. Oh my God. What if it really had fireball in it?

[01:07:03] Oh wow.

[01:07:03] [SPEAKER_01] Oh. Oh, let's do it. Oh. No. The first one, I'm out. Caramel coconut. Oh gross. Yeah. Yeah. But these are in association with Girl Scout cookies. So it, um, it's the, it's the chewy goodness of the caramel delights also known as Samoas depending on your region. I didn't know that. Stop it. Yeah. Um, oh, hold on. And the second one.

[01:07:30] [SPEAKER_01] And then there's a pop tarts frosted thin mint. Now I love thin mints, but in a pop tart. No. Um, this version features a cocoa flavored pastry crust filled with mint chocolate flavored filling in the top with a smooth chocolate frosting. Basically. Oh, so they're creating a thin mint in a breakfast form.

[01:07:51] Hmm.

[01:07:53] [SPEAKER_01] I don't know about that.

[01:07:55] No. No.

[01:07:56] [SPEAKER_01] I don't think so. Oh, this makes me laugh. Hold on.

[01:08:02] [SPEAKER_00] Okay. Fireball pop tarts though.

[01:08:06] [SPEAKER_01] Fireball pop tarts. I don't know why people aren't coming to us for ideas of things. Um, the post office is rising the price of stamps again. So I'm prepared for all old people. I know to lose their shit.

[01:08:20] [SPEAKER_02] All of your girlfriends.

[01:08:21] [SPEAKER_01] And I mean the post office, you know, I respect the post office. I love the post. I think they do a wonderful job, but I do think it's getting a little outdated.

[01:08:28] Yeah.

[01:08:29] [SPEAKER_01] People aren't, we're not getting bills in the mail anymore. If you're signing up online, it's a lot of ads, a lot of this and that. Um, they're going to go up from 73 cents to 78 cents. And that's going to take place.

[01:08:40] [SPEAKER_00] That's a nickel.

[01:08:41] [SPEAKER_01] That's a nickel that I found at Love's gas station on the ground. I'm telling you, look around on the ground at Love's. Well, cause it's good luck. If you find it with heads up, you can make wishes. And if it's a nickel, I call it five wishes, a dime, 10 wishes. That's right. Well, I just made that up. It's supposed to be one penny, one wish. And I didn't know until my Italian friends told me you can't pick it up if it's upside down. I'm like, you just crushed half my dreams.

[01:09:04] Wow.

[01:09:05] [SPEAKER_01] Yep. Um, I'm telling you when this is going to be in July. What is the stamp raise?

[01:09:13] [SPEAKER_00] So I'm still on pop.

[01:09:14] [SPEAKER_01] Oh, go get your stamps now and do what my friend Dusty Slay, very funny comedian. He said his economic plan for his household is based on forever stamps. Cause he's bought enough. That's great. Um, this is very big breaking news. Prada agrees to buy Versace. This is my sister's Ballywick. She loves fashion. She loves the fashion may. I don't care about any of that.

[01:09:43] [SPEAKER_01] Um, Prada spent 1.3 billion to balls to buy smaller rival Versace from Capri holdings on Thursday, including its debt and a move that unites two of the biggest names in Italian fashion. Italy just imploded. Um, Prada. I have nothing in my life. That's Versace or product except a pair of product sunglasses because I fell in love with them in Las Vegas in a sunglass store and I didn't have any sunglasses and I'd never spent that much. I think they were like three 50.

[01:10:13] [SPEAKER_01] I've never spent that much on glass cause I lose them.

[01:10:15] Yeah.

[01:10:16] [SPEAKER_01] These are $12 from Walgreens. Every time I go in and buy another eight pair cause I'm afraid they're going to quit making them cause they hold your hair back and they work as readers. But, um, yeah, I've never lost them, but I don't buy like I wouldn't. I don't know. Um, Prada is seeking to expand having defied a slowdown in luxury demand. Uh, while Versace has been operating at a loss for the last few quarters.

[01:10:36] Wow.

[01:10:37] [SPEAKER_01] Yep. Um, the merger strengthens Italy's hand in the luxury industry led by French conglomerates, the biggest being Louis Vuitton owner LVHM, which by the way, have we seen the children on the tick tock? I have in China blowing the whole lid off the global economy and the bullshit. Like now are they telling the truth? I'm not. I think so.

[01:11:03] [SPEAKER_01] Um, so they're saying we've all been told or it's been implied that if you go, so Louis Vuitton, if you want to go on comedy central and hear my story about my mother getting us arrested and then Louis Vuitton store, um, we'll put it in the show. Uh, very funny story about that. So when you go buy a real one, not the ones in the carts in New York or Chicago, not the knockoffs, the real one you're told is made in France or Italy, depending on who's bag this. Okay. So it's a Prada bag.

[01:11:33] [SPEAKER_01] We assume it's, it says made in Italy or it says made in France. Yeah. Well, these kids on tick tock because of the tariffs, this is, I don't think maybe the government has thought about these things probably should have canceled tick tock should have gotten that apple way before these, the children, the children are coming. You should always fear the children. There are these young people that are like, we make all those bags. Three fourths of the bag is completed in China.

[01:11:59] [SPEAKER_01] We then send it to Italy or France where they put the hardware on the zipper and the little gold thing that says Prada or whatever it might say. And they're like, well, we'll just put the hardware on here and sell them if you want. Like all, all, all bets off the secrets out. This is the thing you thought was made in Italy was not, it was made somewhat in tiny parts, tiny parts, the label, they sew it in the zippers better.

[01:12:24] [SPEAKER_01] Cause I did buy, well, as part of my story, a purse from my mom off one of the cards and it did look right. But then the zipper you're like, Oh, I see why this was a sale item for sure. Um, so go to tick tock, watch the videos. The kids are just blowing it up. A few more things. This is why I was born in the wrong decade. I sent to my brother.

[01:12:54] [SPEAKER_01] There was a hospital picture in world war two, world war one in France. And Mr. Siggy used to come and give cigarettes to patients. And it's a giant mascot and he's a cigarette. And I'm like, Oh my God, why was I not born when Mr. C was around? I would have. Yeah. He gave you a cigarette. Well, you know, you're, you're hurt in the war. Your legs don't feel good. Whatever. Here's the thing. And you got to smoke it in the hospital. Mr. Siggy visited every bed. Here's another reason. Maybe I should have just been born in France.

[01:13:23] [SPEAKER_01] Up until 1956, French children, uh, French schools regularly serve children, wine, cider, or beer with their lunch. And there's a picture of like a four year old holding up a really substantial glass of red wine. It's an idea that might be shocking today, but once was everyday life. Depending on the region, Susan, uh, students were allowed to have a half liter of alcohol a day.

[01:13:51] [SPEAKER_01] With wine being more common in the South and cider or beer in the North, a half liter. And this kid's eyes are already kind of crossed in this picture. Like it won't won't. This is probably the end of his or her leader. I came into it's a cute kid. I don't know. Yeah. I, I've missed my, um, here's a, um, here's a, um, here's a feel good. A feel good story. We got a feel good story. And then we're going to get to some other quotes and things. Thank you. I know. Isn't that crazy?

[01:14:21] [SPEAKER_01] Um, a half liter. I mean, to a child. Talk about that's why the French can hold their wine though. You start young, you've developed a tolerance. Okay. So I told you about the Capabrera. Okay. Well, there's a Capabrera cafe now in Florida. This is our feel good story. It's in St. Augustine, Florida. You can hang out with the it animals. You're going there. I am going there in December and I'm totally going to this place. Cool. Yes. Um, it's in the back of a real estate office building is what known as America's oldest cities.

[01:14:50] [SPEAKER_01] Capabreras are crawling into visitors' laps, munching on the corn on the cob and hunting for scratches, uh, hunting for scratches from humans. Um, they love being petted. Their hair though is very, um, rough. It's like horse hair. Yeah. It's not like a possum, which is the softest hair I've ever felt. And you wouldn't expect that because it looks like the hair on this thing. They opened their doors in October. Uh, they're near the Flagler college campus campus. Case you're wondering. Yeah. Somebody said the fur feels like straw, but they're super friendly.

[01:15:19] [SPEAKER_01] Like they play like a dog. They're fun. Yeah. All right. We're going to close that up. So I don't get confused. Um, um, thank yous. And we're going to do some quotes and a saint.

[01:15:34] Nice.

[01:15:35] [SPEAKER_01] Orlando. Greenies. Gator land swag. Yeah. Lots of greenies. Um, that's from Jen and her husband, Jimmy.

[01:15:40] Cool.

[01:15:41] [SPEAKER_01] Um, koozie. Great. Oh, the, oh, from my friend Jay Paul, who's a comedian. She gave me a Bigfoot shirt. It's very funny. Yeah. I mean, mark these off as I go. Um, the Bigfoot alien hat. Yep. That came back. Um, the humminger. Uh, um, oh, and Jesus loves sports betting. See, I have this t-shirt right here that says Jesus loves sports betting. Love it. Uh, yeah. Um, that's from, uh, mega term, mega termites. Melissa and Jean.

[01:16:11] Yeah.

[01:16:11] [SPEAKER_01] Gator jerky, hummington, uh, pet, the pick, uh, pet pickles rocks from Nancy. Oh, the, oh, the, uh, the pet pickle rocks. I get it. I saw them. Bucky's Florida mug. Uh, greenies. Lots of greenies. The cats are so happy. Julian Jackson, Korean, uh, cucumber lays. That's from, uh, Roberta and Antoinette. I haven't tried those yet. So some lady took this picture when my dad died, which by the, today is the anniversary of my dad's death.

[01:16:37] [SPEAKER_01] And my sister took her buster, the Australian giant enormous shepherd for a walk. And they were attacked by a German shepherd. And I said, see, dad is trying to tell you something and I don't know what it is, but nothing that bad has gone on in my day yet. No. So she took a picture that I posted me, my dad fishing and then put it in this wood.

[01:16:54] Wow.

[01:16:55] [SPEAKER_01] Isn't that amazing? Yeah. That's totally going in the Ozark house.

[01:16:58] Nice.

[01:16:59] [SPEAKER_01] Um, yeah. I don't even know how someone would do that. Actually was when you burn it in, but how would you, that's amazing. Cheers to Jack Lope. Cheers to Jack Lope. Cheers to Jack Lope. It's been a year and how he's out doing something fun. Um, maybe he thought it'd be funny to have the German shepherd from some guys. They're building a bunch of houses by their house. It was not on a leash or nothing. And Kate has been instructed to let the leash go. So Buster won't feel restrained. Right. And it didn't go.

[01:17:29] [SPEAKER_01] Kate was, my sister was petrified, which I would be too. It was a very big, and Buster can get nutty when approached by another giant male. So that's what my dad was up to this morning. Funny, Jack. Funny, Dad. Made me laugh. I need to call the other siblings and say Kate was almost eaten to death this morning. What happened to you? That wooden thing is from Kathy and Trudy. It's amazing. Oh, my, the homemade cookies, which I did share with the staff.

[01:17:58] [SPEAKER_01] They made it.

[01:18:00] Cool.

[01:18:00] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. Our bakery is called Carrie's Kitchen. They were delicious. Nice. Just a couple more things. Card of the PBS show, Reading Rainbow. Fun fact, Dr. Twyla Leagat created the show and her husband, Jeff. They were at the show.

[01:18:12] Oh, nice.

[01:18:13] [SPEAKER_01] I didn't know that. Or I would have said hi.

[01:18:15] Yeah.

[01:18:17] [SPEAKER_01] But there was a lot of people backstage. Sometimes it's. All my Gatorland people. Yeah. My comedian friend, Jay Paul.

[01:18:23] [SPEAKER_00] Sometimes all the people.

[01:18:26] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah, a lot of it gets open at home because it's too crazy at the show that night. The Florida Gator hat that who, who do I have that on? I have it on post. He seemed the most Florida. That's the national champ gear. That's from all of Melissa Emily too. He seems the most Florida E out of all these people. Maybe jelly roll. A wonderful other students. Oh, that's great. They're probably so happy. Um, Bloody Mary mix and tiny mermaid for the drinks. I don't know where that person found that tournament. It's just like the one in Atlantic city. Maybe other bars do it.

[01:18:54] [SPEAKER_01] That's from termite Pete Laurel. Uh, old St. Pete bourbon, Susan and Jay and the Savannah bananas. I love the Savannah bananas. You can't even get tickets to see them. They're so popular. Um, and they got the spotted cow and that's the girls I read up top. So thank you to everyone who brought stuff and all that. Um, it was amazing. And I'm sorry if you did and you couldn't get it in. Yeah. I didn't know that all that was going on. I don't know if I could have overridden the powers of universal anyway,

[01:19:22] [SPEAKER_01] but, um, here's the saint I've chosen. Um, this is, uh, St. Teresa. Um, she is in charge of missionaries, pilots, which I think we need a little help with now.

[01:19:39] Yeah.

[01:19:39] [SPEAKER_01] Crown stop at Nashville airport. Cause we didn't have enough people working.

[01:19:43] [SPEAKER_02] Mm hmm.

[01:19:44] [SPEAKER_01] Cause we've laid off too many people in the FAA. So help me God, I already made it home.

[01:19:48] Right.

[01:19:48] [SPEAKER_01] But if I'm flying over where I want to be and they say, we, we just don't have anybody in the tower. Oh, Oh, God. Um, this St. Teresa has got a lot on our plate. She's supposed to be missionaries, pilots, florists, and, uh, HIV AIDS and tuberculosis. She lived from 1873 to 1897. She was the youngest of five and followed her sisters into the Carmelite order at the 14. They let you become a nun back then 14.

[01:20:19] [SPEAKER_01] How about we just hang on for a couple more years before we make a life decision? Her health was very fragile, but she participated in, um, all the, um, practices except for fasting that were required in the order. The mother's spirit suggested you write down her experience in a book called the story of a soul. She died to, died of tuberculosis at the age of 24. I don't, nobody lived, none of these saints live past like 30. She has a strong following today because of her book, which is very innocent and filled with deep, a deep spiritual wisdom.

[01:20:47] [SPEAKER_01] She wrote after my death, I will let a fall. I will let a fall shower of roses. I will spend my heaven doing good on earth. She's got a lot going on. She's in charge of AIDS pilots. I mean, can we, we have new saints. Let's take somebody's chores off their plate. That little millennial guy. He'll give me computers and maybe he could do florists too. Just two, two bullshit. All the old ones got like 15 things.

[01:21:16] [SPEAKER_01] Cause there weren't enough saints back then. Okay, Kathleen, you're in charge of fishing. Furniture. What? What math? Taylor Swift. We haven't done a Tay Tay quote.

[01:21:28] [SPEAKER_00] Yay.

[01:21:29] [SPEAKER_01] I don't want, this is on heartache. I don't want anyone to wait four hours to text you back. And I don't want anyone to mess with your head. I want you to be happy because waiting four hours to text someone back is rude. It's not flirting. Damn right. Answer the text. Unless you told me you were in some sort of peril or, you know, place where you couldn't. Oh, let's do the cream.

[01:21:59] [SPEAKER_01] I thought I'd chosen. I did.

[01:22:02] Okay.

[01:22:04] [SPEAKER_01] This was on society.

[01:22:06] Okay.

[01:22:06] [SPEAKER_01] We should think about this now. Now is a good time for this quote.

[01:22:10] Hmm.

[01:22:11] [SPEAKER_00] The lessons from a peace process are clear. Whatever life throws at us, our individual responses will be all the stronger for working together and sharing the load. Oh, what a sense of occasion.

[01:22:25] [SPEAKER_02] I like it.

[01:22:28] [SPEAKER_01] All right, Turbites. I gotta go. I gotta go downtown and meet with my little friend who's gonna help me with what I'm wearing on a special.

[01:22:38] [SPEAKER_00] Are you excited?

[01:22:39] [SPEAKER_01] No.

[01:22:40] No?

[01:22:40] [SPEAKER_01] Well, about my clothes? Yeah. No, I don't. I don't. I'd rather just go out in my Converse tennis shoes and a pair of jeans, but you gotta step it up a little bit, I feel.

[01:22:50] Okay.

[01:22:50] [SPEAKER_01] So stepping it up. I'm happy I have help because I can't, I don't like it. I don't like anything about it. I don't like shopping. I don't like clothes. And I never use, because I just wear what I wear on stage 99% of the time, but if it's a special, I'm like, okay, I could try to look like I cleaned up a bit.

[01:23:08] [SPEAKER_02] And your opening act is always well dressed.

[01:23:11] [SPEAKER_01] My opening act is always well dressed. Yes. He definitely likes to spend some money on clothes, which is the one thing I just don't. No. My jeans are from Target. I'm not even kidding. And I love them. I love them. And they quit making them. They're a mid rise, skinny jean. And I think they were supposed to be crafts, but they fit me perfectly. So I went and bought every pair I could find in America.

[01:23:40] [SPEAKER_01] I would go to other cities. I remember being in San Jose and I'm like, I gotta check their Target and see if, because somebody canceled them. They canceled my pants. It's so upsetting.

[01:23:48] [SPEAKER_00] You're so short.

[01:23:50] [SPEAKER_01] That's how short I am. You give me a crop. Boom. No need to him. Fits perfectly. With a heel or without. All right, termites. Are you ready? I'll see you this weekend, Napa. What, what, what? I know where I'm going for breakfast. I don't know where to go for dinner though. Anybody who wants to email, I don't need fancy. I don't want white tablecloths and all that. But I did see a couple seafood ones on there that look pretty good. And maybe Italian, they would say, or people would say in the Midwest. Or are you going to have Italian?

[01:24:21] [SPEAKER_01] Or Mexican. Are you going to have Italian, Kathleen? Instead of ranch? Not going to have ranch? No.