Episode 214: Parental Beer Gardens, Serious Bowlers, & Teaching Gen Z Bar Etiquette

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on. Welcome, welcome to Stevie Queen, Stevie. Welcome to our next episode 214. How crazy is that?

[00:00:33] Here in Nashville, gonna get a little snow. Huge panic. Panic has ensued. Two to four inches. Holy Jesus, what are we gonna do? That needs to go. Oh yeah, this is how the news reacts. We're gonna be here at five o'clock, we're gonna tell you what's gonna happen in the weather. Snow! Y'all, now we ordered those snow plows two years ago and we're just having a problem getting them.

[00:01:00] They were COVID back, there's blaming COVID. I mean guys, what are we doing? Anyway, I laugh when it snows out. Snow is in the south because everybody just, I like that they just say, well, fuck it, we're closing. I mean, before anything even happens, there's no mist, there's no clouds, there's no, no, we're, we are closing. I like the, I like the running speed though. I fall right into it. I'm like, that's right.

[00:01:25] We shouldn't be doing anything ever. Bullshit. Let's stay home. Everybody, turn on your fireplace, do your work from your couch. What are we drinking? This, I don't know why this made me laugh so hard. It just says hold my beer, craft lager, Gulfstream, hold my beer. Get it? Florida. And I was in Florida because usually the beer holding goes between Alabama, Mississippi, Missouri, Florida. That's usually the triangle of redneck things that have gone on too far.

[00:01:52] And that was from termite Elizabeth that brought the hold my beer and that would, I want to get like a case of it. A hold my beer? Yeah, for Christmas presents. Oh. Yeah. I think they have an online deal. I wonder if they'll mail beer. Gulfstream brewing. Gulfstream brewing. Yes, yes, yes. What are we eating? Well, let's try this. Lays, this is a Canadian trick. I love it. You guys say all dressed. Yes. Tangy sweet. It's ketchup. No. That's all it is.

[00:02:22] Yes, it is. Mm-hmm. No. It is a mix of barbecue. I don't taste any vinegar. I taste ketchup and barbecue, which is fine, but I don't know why you say all dressed. That's a Canadian thing. It sounds fancy. It does sound fancy. It does sound fancy. Anything Lays does, though, for the most part, love it. Am I going to die?

[00:02:52] Some of these were deadly. If we move beyond. I think they should send out an alert when they say all those bad chips that could kill you are gone. Because there's a lot of us that are very loyal to ladies that are waiting for the green light again. Well, I just ate one. I wonder how many kill you. Because these came from Canada, they're fine. They're fine? Yeah. Was there a tariff on these potato chips? I think those chips are $84. $84. Well, they should be. They're that good. Yep. Move on the tariffs.

[00:03:21] That was from Marco Island Termite. Catherine brought those. And here's the thing. Marco Island, one of my favorite places on earth. It's like going to Florida, but you feel like you went to Hawaii. It's different somehow. Yep. But there's a Marriott on the beach there. It's like you're in Maui all of a sudden. Awesome. And then one of my favorite little restaurant bars in the whole, whole world is there. It's called the Snook Inn. And every time there's a hurricane, it gets wrecked and they rebuild it again. And as long as they keep that salad bar, they will never lose me as a customer.

[00:03:52] So, this is a Rolitas de Guava. Guava? Guava. I can't say any of this. It's a guava candy rolled with milk caramel spread. I don't know. This is from Miami Termites. Michelle and Aaron. I don't know. I'm not really a sweet person, but wow.

[00:04:22] Oh, my God. This is going. This is going to Vicki Madigan. It's just too much for me. There's sugar everywhere. Yeah. Taste it with the chip. Yeah. Chips and beer. Chips and beer. Chips and beer. Yeah. And then what is this? This little seasoning. What am I supposed to taste with this? It's right here. Everglades seasoning. Wow. Nice. It's great. Cool. It's from Termite Jody. There's the...

[00:04:51] This is delicious. What is this? Everglades seasoning. Everglades seasoning. All purpose. Yeah, it is. Chicken anything. Wow. I wouldn't put this on anything. I would eat it right out of this like I am. It's just a salt lick. It's so good. It does. Yeah. All right. Moving on. Upcoming shows. What a week it's going to be. Flying into Iowa. Davenport show there. And I know they'll come out even though it's going to be very cold.

[00:05:21] And then up to Minnesota. Florida. And two shows that are basically sold out. And that's... It holds 2,000. So 4,000 Minnesotites are going to drag their house out at these temperatures. And I can't wait to see you all. And I can't wait to see that casino. Now... You're taking merch? Yes. Taking merch. Yeah. As much as there's left. Which is quite a bit of random things. Random. So... The Mystic Lake Casino.

[00:05:51] If you know my act. A hundred years ago I wrote a joke. It just happened. I didn't write anything. But... I did a show with Roseanne. I was the opening act. Roseanne was headlining. Oh, wow. But I was a long... I couldn't remember how long ago. But I know long ago. I was thinking 15 years ago. Well, this casino, Roseanne goes... Kept saying to me, you sure you don't want some vodka? I'm like, no, Roseanne. It's not my thing. I don't really... I'm like a beer and wine girl. Or Jameson if I'm all fired up.

[00:06:19] And she's like, I think you're going to want to take a drink. But I couldn't figure out why she kept... Right. So then the show's over and I go out in the casino and I see this round bar, which looks like a video poker bar. It's heavenly. I see bottles that... It looks like a regular bar. And then I got up there and they were like, yeah, we don't serve alcohol at this casino. Right. Whoa. And they go, not anywhere on the reservation. And my old joke is, I said, how big is the reservation? And they said like 250 miles.

[00:06:47] And I never truly thought I was an alcoholic until they said that far away. And my toes started tingling or doing something weird. I just could not believe that. And then I was like, oh, that's why Roseanne, she brought her own. I guess she... I don't know if you can. I don't want to rat anybody out. Who cares? But anyway, I Googled it. They have alcohol. Started in 2012. So my memory of 15 years ago was probably right. It was probably 2010 when I opened for Roseanne.

[00:07:17] Are you going ice fishing? I am not going ice fishing because it's going to be like minus nine. I can't... I know the Minnesotites would take care of me as long as I dressed right. But they're just... That's a breaking point. Yeah. Zero for me. No, I'm just staying inside. Drinking. Well, watch fishing. I'll pretend I'm fishing. I'm not going. Anyway, then Morgantown, West Virginia. Then D.C. Then March 14th, Macon, Georgia. March 15th, South Carolina. We added a show.

[00:07:46] It's an early one. Five o'clock. Perfect for day drinking. March 21st, Fort Collins. 22nd, Colorado Springs. 28th, Virginia Beach. 29th, Charlotte. April 4th, New Orleans. April 5th, Pensacola. Boom! That's going to be a super fun little weekend with Michael Somerville. The Bear Monster. Yes, he was with me this weekend. The shows were great. It's so... The shows are on fire. Florida in the winter, though, the traffic with the old people.

[00:08:16] It's a lot. It's... It's a lot. And it's just Florida. Like, you think everything's fine, and then there's like an 18-car accident. Ambulances. And then I couldn't get to the airport. This part's closed. This part's closed. It... Florida has too many competing groups. Like, there's the old people, and they want to do their own thing. Yeah. And then there's like that kind of white trash element that just... It's last call for them. It's their last hope.

[00:08:45] Then there's rich people that have these giant yachts that you just go by, and I'm like, what is that? The Lady Mora has a helicopter on top. Yeah, yeah. There's two... There's... So, like, you go to the... I don't know. You go to a grocery store, and all those groups are in there. And it doesn't... Nothing's in sync. Which is not necessarily... It's fun to watch. It's great people watching. Yeah. Me and Michael sat at the beach bar, and people watched for like four hours. And it...

[00:09:13] I mean, you could almost tell. Like, these people are Midwestern. These people are Canadian. These people are whatever. But it was a great weekend, and then I took a beach walk. One and a half mile one way, one and a half mile home. And I had on a white t-shirt that says Dolly Parton. Yes. I'd use sunblock everywhere else. Well, even that didn't... What? SPF? 50. 50. SPF 50. Okay. And it never really totally works, but whatever.

[00:09:40] It's also very late in life to start thinking about skin care. I mean, you know, our parents didn't do it. No. My parents would take one zinc oxide stripe on my nose. That was it. That's the whole shebang. So I probably will never get skin cancer from the middle of my eyebrows to the tip of my nose, knock on wood. But then I got home, and I took off my shirt, and I was sunburnt through the shirt. What? Fire red. And I had a bra on. I had a bra and a t-shirt.

[00:10:09] Well, I wish it would have said Dolly. I don't know why the sunburn didn't... That would have been great. I don't know if I'm just getting older, or the sun is getting hotter. It's hotter. It's hotter. Yeah. Well, I was also on the sand by the water, so double boom boom. But still, it shouldn't go through your shirt. No. That's crazy. Not like that. No. There we go. My neighbors, Jebby, Jeff and Debbie, and their friends came to the show. That was super fun. Yeah. Jebby. All right.

[00:10:38] Let's move it on here into... I don't think there was anything else really to report. Wonderful weekend in Florida. Great to be in 80 degrees. How's the drive across? The drive across to Alligator Alley. Challenging. Really? They need another lane. Yeah, they do. At least this time, there wasn't construction, because if that... Yeah, that'll kill you on that thing. It should never be more than two hours, and then you never know. You never know. Moving on.

[00:11:08] Queen news. Oh, my God. How exciting is this? The Dolly Parton musical reveals the results of the search for the casting call. No! Can you imagine if you sent your tapes in, and then on the video, your name... These 15 people. Wow. They're invited to now attend in-person auditions and to be held in New York City. Oh, I freak out. Yeah. So great.

[00:11:32] And Lou's friend, one of Louis' friends, is a set designer, and he's coming to Nashville to work on that set here. Yeah. Nice. Here's who's getting invited. This is just... I'll just say their first names. It's where they're from that surprises me. Okay. Catherine from New York City. Makes sense. Okay. Perry from New York City. Elise, New York City. Okay. Alberta, Brown, Halifax. Yeah! You snuck a Canadian in. Yes. Yes.

[00:12:03] Annalise, New York City. Okay. Haley is from L.A. Kylie is from Richfield, Wisconsin. Wow. How are you going to drop that Wisconsin accent? I know. Maybe she doesn't have it, but I don't know how that floats in this other thing. Tasha is from Newport, Tennessee. Look at everybody. Nice. Solo, somebody solo, is from Milton, Georgia. And Kindred, another New York City person.

[00:12:31] See, I'd be intimidated by the New York City people because I'd think, well, they're probably for real, for real, and I'm for real. Yeah. But if I'm from a tiny town, I think it'd be intimidating. Nora's from Houston. Okay. Here's one. Kelly O'Brien from Old Mary Tring United Kingdom. Wow! Yeah, somebody from England. Good. Tricia, California. Cecilia, New York City. And Madeline, New York City. Wow, that'll be...

[00:13:00] I'm going to go on the website. You could go on and see their auditions. That's awesome. Yeah, I know. It's a great casting call to just throw it out there and let, you know, chips fall where they may, bring them to New York, pay for it. Yep. Other queen news. Chapel. Where's Chapel? She right here? Yeah. Okay, she mouthed off with her little notebook. It was very... That to me is very 20-something. I've been journaling. Oh!

[00:13:30] No, I like that she's very, very mouthy, and she read out of her journal notebook about them not getting insurance, and they don't get enough pay at the Grammys, and she didn't use her thing to plug her own shit. She was trying to get... Well, she put in 25 grand, and now all these other people have matched it. So she has started something. Nice! The industry has listened. Yeah, we'll see how long it lasts, but at least the mouth off kind of worked a little bit. Tay Tay and Tommy, quiet.

[00:13:59] Snoop was on the SNL music one. Yep. It was great. Yeah. Yeah. Jelly was on it. Love Jelly. I'm not sure about the Johnny Cash rendition. It was a little weird. And I'll tell you who else was weird. Miley Cyrus' version of... Yeah. I can't... I love Brittany Howard. I love Miley. Yeah. But that was weird. Yeah. And that song was so iconic, and then she got in all the trouble for ripping up the picture of the pole. I don't know. I think it deserved more than that. Cher.

[00:14:30] Should have been a closer. Oh! I mean, I like Lady Gaga. And then who was the... Somebody at the end, I'm like, oh, Jack White? Yeah. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. It should have been Cher. Cher killed it. She came out with that outfit on just probably 25 years ago. If I could turn back time. And she's actually singing. Yep. And her voice sounds better than before. Stevie, I wasn't there. So, she hasn't...

[00:14:58] I think Stevie's at home getting ready to go out with more Billy Joel dates. No, no, no, no, no. Boo. Boo. Boo. So, what were we watching? I watched some of the SNL thing. I had to fast forward. Just busy. But the music one... It was three hours. Three hours. I know. I know. I know. I know. And some of the sketches... That's always been my complaint about Saturday Night Live. Everything's funny, but it's too long. All the sketches could be cut by a solid two minutes. They just... Less is more.

[00:15:27] Less is more. Less is more. And they don't. Every single year. They just... It gets longer and longer. Eddie Murphy's impression of Tracy Morgan was one of the favorite... Made me laugh harder than... There were a million good moments, but it was awfully long. And the musical one, I think we could have done better. There's so many... Well, they had a special show, SNL, 50 Years of Musical Guests. The concert. Where are those people at? I don't...

[00:15:53] Like, a lot of them were not there that should have been there. Iconic people. I mean, I love Jelly Roll, but he's not iconic yet. Cher's iconic. And I don't know. We just didn't seem to have a lot. Maybe nobody wanted to go or do it. Maybe they weren't paying anything. Maybe they're old. They're old. Paul Simon is old. That was rough. That was... Paul McCartney. Oh, my Lord. Just sing the chorus.

[00:16:22] Play the piano. Look cute. You still look cute? Yeah. And then my sister goes, well, he didn't sing that many of the Beatles songs that were great. Anyway, I'm like, oh, you mean like Let It Be? She goes, okay, okay. I forgot about that one. And then I named like 12 more. She's like, all right, I get your point. I get your point. I go, who do you think sang them, Kate? It's either him or John. Right. Yeah, yeah. Or Yoko. Yeah, Yoko. Yoko.

[00:16:55] And he brings Yoko. And he's playing the electric card hard. Yeah. And she just starts screaming. And he even, his eyes were closed. Chuck Berry's and he went, oh! Like it was like painting him, like shooting him. Anyway. It is painful. So the SNL thing's worth a watch. I would tape it and then fast forward. Although you can't fast forward through the commercials on Peacock. Scamanda episode three. It just keeps, it's just, it just, I can't.

[00:17:25] So she's the one to fake cancer to her whole mega church and this and that. You can't question people's medical records. You got to prove it some other way that they're full of shit. And there's one reporter lady and a guy, I think he's a detective. And they're doing it. No, she doesn't make eye contact. And you can tell she's a complete narcissistic, crazy person. Yeah. Speaking of crazy people. Elizabeth Holmes is talking from prison.

[00:17:56] She said it's hell and torture. She's at a fancy, fancy prison where they have like yoga and shit. I mean, come on. My liver would love it if I got sentenced. It's surreal. People have never met me, believe so strongly about me. They don't understand who I am. It forces you a lot of time to question and belief and hoping the truth will prevail. I'm walking by faith and ultimately the truth.

[00:18:26] You've never told the truth. No. You don't know the truth. It's been hell and torture to be here. Well, yeah. Shut up. She said she's a different person. Oh, there are some things I would have done differently. So many of these women don't have anyone. Yeah. How about don't lie your ass off and say you have a machine that works that you don't? Right. How about stop with the lying? Fake it till you make it. And that's what they call it. Stop it. Humans are not made to be in cells.

[00:18:55] It goes far beyond my understanding. Well, then don't do something that endangers the general public. I'm trying really hard not to tear up right now. I'm trying to grow as every moment matters, as if one person's life can be touched trying to help them in a crisis. It matters. This will be my life's work. Shut up. Yeah. Yeah. It kills me that I have to put my family through the pain the way I do.

[00:19:23] But when I look back on my life, these angels have come into it. I can get through anything. No, you just sit your ass down and you need to think for a few more years at a minimum about what you've done. Yeah. It's terrible. Be quiet. Speaking of. Is this another update? This is an update? Wait. I have to find the other one. Wait. Well, here's an update. This is a quick one. Stop giving her a microphone. Stop giving her a microphone.

[00:19:53] Elizabeth Holmes. Elizabeth Holmes. I know. Why don't go interview these people? No. No. You sit there and you be quiet. They want an interview. They want attention. That's all they want. I'm very happy for Ozzy Osbourne. His tickets went on sale for his last show in Birmingham, England. Black Sabbath back together. Cool. It was sold out in 16 minutes, leaving fans super pissed. Every fan out there is pissed off about the Beyonce people were all pissed off because they couldn't get.

[00:20:22] One person did and showed the screenshots. She started out like 120th in line. And then it got to second. She was two away. Uh-oh. And it kicked her off. No. It was happening all over. Every, all fans. You got to just like somebody who there's not a rush to the ticket buy. But like if this is Ozzy's last show, everybody wants to go. The tickets started at $250. And then within that 16 minutes, they went up to $3,700. Oh!

[00:20:53] Wow. Once you get through the 100,000 person line. Wow. Now, if you're, you know, the biggest Ozzy fan ever and you want to spend almost $4,000, can't somebody film it? Won't it be on TV? Maybe. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. That's not the same. From a lady. No, it's not the same. Does live performances. Well, if it was, yeah. I mean, if it was Stevie.

[00:21:23] But I also have extra spending money because I don't have kids to put in college right now like all my siblings. Right. So technically, I would probably pay more than like say my sister would. But either one of my sisters. But yeah, it's, I wonder how many people this place seats. I don't know where the show is in Birmingham. Is it indoor? It should be outdoors. He has the coolest shirt on in this picture. He was really cute back in the day.

[00:21:52] Yes, he was cute. Speaking of crazy people. It's in. It's in. Villa Park. Oh, it's outside. Okay, it's in a park? Yep. Wow. How many does Villa Park hold or take? Guns N' Roses Tool and Jason Moa have also been added to the lineup. Guns N' Roses Tool and Jason Moa? Does he look like a wild man? Yeah, he looks like a Viking. Like a Viking person?

[00:22:22] Yeah, like a. Does he sing? I don't know. I thought he was an actor. I'm not sure about all that. Yeah, me neither. I'll get into it. This is a podcast where you learn nothing because we're not going to Google it. We're just going to sit here and go, I don't know. I have no. That's weird. I don't even know how to pronounce his name. Update. Meghan Markle. No. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:22:47] No, you got to keep up with it or you're going to fall behind in the fake royal newsletter. You're not going to be included? We've already talked about it, so I have to give updates. It's terrible. Her brand name that she wanted, her logo, American Riviera Orchard. Her lawyers, everybody, she fucked up. Everybody fucked up. It wasn't available. You can't trademark that.

[00:23:13] So she's now come out and said, well, she just didn't want to use it anymore because it would limit her to brands that were made up there. Okay, whatever bullshit story you want to give. Her new one is called As Ever. Oh! Two words. As ever? As ever. How does she be as if? As if. As if. Yeah. As ever is confusing. As ever.

[00:23:38] But I'm saying, okay, if I say it correctly, as ever, comma, and then you sign off. But who signs off like that? Nobody does. No. Well, she released a video. Yeah. And she said, I'm shocked we've kept this a secret for so long. In two weeks, my show is coming out, which I'm so excited for. This is not a secret. I already read this as ever two weeks ago. It's already been leaked everywhere. There's a lot of curiosity about my business.

[00:24:06] She thought American Riviera Orchard sounded so great. Blah, blah, blah. It's called As Ever. As ever essentially means it's always been as it's always been. And if you've followed me since 2014 with The Tig, that was— Well, no, I haven't. That was her blog. But also, what about Tig the Comedian? Yeah. Like, if I was Tig, I'd be like, hey, man, I was here before you. That's my name. I was famous before you were famous. I'm sorry. But I don't think you can trademark your own name, but Tig's name is Tig. Tig.

[00:24:34] I never even understood why that doesn't come up because Tig is popular. She's in all kinds of stuff. Yeah. And a friend. And then she said, I haven't been able to share these things for the past few years. She's saying the royal family wouldn't let her do it. Well, guess what? You're in the royal family. You don't go on TikTok. No. We don't do that. Nobody cares who you are. Nobody cares. Well, you know, she got mad because they wouldn't let her go on her platforms or whatever. Right.

[00:25:04] Well, there are conditions if you marry into this family. And here they are. Do you accept them or not? Yes or no? You don't have to. Nobody's got a gun to your head. Back in the day, there would have been a gun to your head. She's going to be selling a lot of jams. How much jam can a person eat? Like, I steal the little ones from hotels. Room service. Yeah. I always take them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, me and my mom, well, I steal everything. I don't steal.

[00:25:34] I take what is given. So when the kids come to this house, there's two drawers underneath the captain's bed that are filled with slippers from around the world. It could be a Marriott. It could be Four Seasons. Fancy. It could go down to the shittiest hotel that will give you a pair of slippers and a plastic thing. I steal those for the kids. They love them. Soap. And then the room service, if you get breakfast, they bring you a tiny little grape and strawberry.

[00:26:01] And that's all I need in my house for like a year. You're not a toast person? I love toast, but how much? Fucking. It's jelly or jam. I don't know. She thinks she's going to make a lot of money on this. I will totally say I'm wrong if I'm wrong. I don't see how jam and dog biscuits brings in a lot of money to pay those taxes in Santa Barbara. She said Netflix is partnering with her.

[00:26:25] These things will be sold for sale in the new Netflix stores that are in malls. They're going to be in giant malls in America. Two mega malls on the outskirts of Dallas and Philly. It's the Queen of Prussia. King of Prussia? That one. King of Prussia. I've been to that one. I don't think I've ever been to the Dallas one. Sometimes a large, large mall I find intimidating and claustrophobic. Yeah, it's too much. Too much. And I always think, do I really need anything in there? No. No.

[00:26:55] I don't. You don't like kids? Well, the kids are fine. I don't like it. Yeah, no lids. That's what. Oh, lids. Lids. Yeah, I love lids. That's a hat store. Yeah. Kids, by the way, do any kids go to school in America? Every airport. We're not to spring break yet. I know that for a fact. I have siblings that have kids in public schools. They're in Catholic schools. Nobody's on spring. There's just kids. Kids don't. I don't believe they attend school anymore. They don't. No. And these aren't even necessarily teams being flown around. No.

[00:27:24] These are just mom, dad. We're going. Yeah. Yeah. Her show, With Love Megan, will be on on March 4th. Here's what she's going to be selling. Jam, tea, coffee, wallpaper. What? How random. Pet shampoo, olive oil. A broken table. Yeah.

[00:27:54] And an old golf bag I found in my dad's closet. Stupid. Mm-hmm. I mean, this launch has already gone terribly. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. This guy said, I suspect American Riviera Orchard may end up less like Martha Stewart's empire and more like a boutique stand at a Santa Monica's farmer's market,

[00:28:23] swiftly abandoned when the next revenue-generating project comes along. Okay. Why would Netflix, this is where I go back to, though. Netflix, why'd you do the polo thing? Ted Sarandos, who's ever in charge of Netflix, I think him. It's buried. It's gone. Nobody watched it. Nobody liked it. I thought it was mean to the horses. And I'm not like an animal rights activist. I don't get up and act, act, I'm not an activist. I don't do activities based on that. But whatever.

[00:28:53] Nobody liked it for different reasons. I don't know what they're thinking. How many things need to flop? Do you realize, like, nobody gives a shit? Followed by more bad decisions. Oh, here's another one of your favorite people. No. Yeah. It's Anna Soakin. Anna Delvey. Whatever you want to call her. She was at the New York City Fashion Week.

[00:29:22] A trifecta of bullshit. Yeah. She was strutting her stuff down a runway. What? Yeah. She was there. Delvey, born Anna Soakin, 34, opened the Elena Velez show. She wore a brown leather pencil skirt dress from the brand with ruffled shoulder detailing. Her ankle monitor. She still has an ankle monitor. So I just know where to go. Was clearly visible. And she sported a stylish updo and nude pumps. Oh. Yeah. Wonderful. I mean, somebody's giving her a gig.

[00:29:52] Yeah. I just don't know. Cut her off. Why? Right. What? Common criminal. You're a thief and a liar. Why reward it? I do not understand rewarding this kind of behavior. Terrible. Right. Terrible. We hear about her. Well, ICE is in charge of her. Yes. She should have been deported back to Germany. Take care. Yes. And I don't know. Maybe she's got a good lawyer. Something. Flush the toilet. Yeah. Update. Hey.

[00:30:22] My lord, Kendrick Lamar caused quite a controversy. Well, now the NFL is considering, they're saying they're sorry. That it should have been, maybe, now that they think about it, it should have been Lil Wayne. And I'm like, if you think, you think Lil Wayne is going to sit any better with my neighbor, Bob, than Kendrick Lamar did, that you're missing the point. It's the rap.

[00:30:50] Now, I watched it 10 more times, and I really liked it. But I also have the time, because I don't have a real job, that I can sit here and watch Kendrick over and over. And I love his jeans so much, I can't quit staring at him. But like normal people, I think we have to decide, what was the Super Bowl halftime show? Is it to unite us all? Is it to educate? Nobody's defined what is the meaning of this. It's to sell Pepsi. It's to sell Pepsi and Doritos and give Peyton Manning more money.

[00:31:20] What are we doing, though? We need to define what we're doing. If it's to unite people, that didn't do it. So my idea was you put pop stars' names in a hat, rap stars' names in a hat, and country stars. And you pick one out of each hat. And you make those three do a show together. Oh, wow. That would be awesome. Now, if we're really just about uniting and not pissing anyone off, and I would love this, too.

[00:31:47] The entire halftime show is puppy races. What? Yep. Wiener dog races. I want golden retrievers. I want beagles. They'll run out of the stadium. And I want them to start in the end zone. Can you bet on them? And you can gamble. Perfect. They have numbers, like tiny horses, and their owners get to go down on the field. And then we'll have, like, the hound group. Just like the dog show, except it's races. Yeah. It's a sport. Yeah.

[00:32:15] I mean, nobody can get mad at that if we're going to get worried about people getting mad. Right. Like Kid Rock said, well, Kendrick Lamar was a DEI thing. Well, Kendrick might think Dolly is a DEI thing in his world. Yeah. It's all flippable. Just what you don't like, I don't like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I do think people should at least try, though, to try to get what he was doing. Yeah. It just takes me a hot minute because I don't really even know, I know old rap because I'm old.

[00:32:44] I don't know what the youngsters are doing. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. They sent an apology letter to Lil Wayne after he wasn't selected to perform. What? Yeah. Specifically. Well, and Kendrick did the best he can do. You shouldn't be slamming him. No. Jay-Z did it. I don't know. Kind of obsessed with his jacket, too. It's really fun. Very cool. A lot of messaging in that. This mistake, this same kind of mistake won't ever happen again.

[00:33:12] This is what happens when you give too much of a power responsibility to one person. Jay-Z. That's who they mean. There are many people in the NFL that want to see some changes. They didn't like this year's halftime show and the way it happened. The mistake has the NFL. I like it when people collaborate. So let's take Snoop and Jelly Roll or whatever and then put Dolly in. How fun would that be? Awesome. Yeah. Or make Stevie rap. Let's really mix it up. Oh, wow. Yes. Yeah. Welcome to the room.

[00:33:40] That I thought you guys would want to hear this because it makes me laugh. Like, I, as every year you get older, the Super Bowl halftime show becomes more of a thing and more of a thing and more of a thing, bigger and more expensive and more elaborate and people are fighting about it. But I don't think anybody ever fought about Prince. No. Everybody loved it. And it rained when he played Purple Rain. Well, I went all the way back to find out how this shit started.

[00:34:05] And I'm going to tell you who were the halftime shows up to this point. So this is what we went from. I don't know why I think this is so funny. So they started, I won't read them all because there's too many, but it started in 1967. The halftime show was University of Arizona and Grambling State Marching Band. What? Then for the next two more years, marching bands. 1970 was Carol Channing.

[00:34:35] I mean, I love Carol Channing. How does that work? Broadway lady. Hello, Dolly. Like 1971, a band, marching band. It's marching bands. It's all marching bands till, hold on. Oh, in 1979, we had a salute to the Caribbean with Kim Hamilton and various Caribbean bands.

[00:35:02] Oh my God, 1980, a salute to the big band era with Up With People. What? The group Up With People. I don't know that. A salute to the 60s was in 1982. That's fine. So far, we haven't had a performer. Well, Carol. But 1986, Beat of the Future. But they're not saying there weren't stars yet.

[00:35:31] Up With People to me look like the Manson family if they were singing. 1996, Diana Ross. Yep, I remember it. It was great. Yep. She was taken from the stadium in a helicopter. What? She is a queen queen. That's fantastic. 97, Blues Brothers Bash, Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman, and James Belushi. That was fun. Fun. Also featured James Brown and ZZ Top.

[00:36:01] See, let's mix it up. Great. Godfather of Soul and The Rock Guys. Here we go. 1998, Boys to Men, Queen Latifah, Martha Reeves. Cool. Fine. Yeah. Nobody's going to complain about that. Nope. 99, they went Salsa Swing. Gloria Estefan, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. And tap dancer Savion Glover. Wow. Wow. Never heard of him. Wow.

[00:36:28] 2001, Kings of Rock, Aerosmith, NSYNC, Britney Spears, and Mary J. Blige, and Nelly. Okay. NSYNC should not be a part of that. Well, it said Kings of Rock and Pop. I missed the pop part. So, I don't think. Well, I guess they're all pop. I know them all. I don't know. 2002, the Super Bowl I was at, St. Louis Rams were playing the New England Patriots. It was U2. That was, it wasn't, though, in person, it was weird. Yeah.

[00:36:56] And it wasn't like, it was weird. Because they thought everybody would fail. I don't know. Yeah. There was a lot of people scared of 9-11 and the Super Bowl followed that. So, that's why me and my siblings got cheap tickets. Because we were willing to die for the Rams. How about now? They weren't quite as willing to die for us. 2003, Shania Twain, No Doubt, and Sting. Okay.

[00:37:24] 2004, Janet Jackson, Kid Rock, P. Diddy, Nelly, and Justin Timberlake. Okay. That's a lot. Yep. 2005, Paul McCartney. That was the incident. Her boob fell out. Her nebble fell out. Mm-hmm. Yeah. This is when they start up in the ante. Right about this point. 2005, Paul McCartney. 2006, the Rolling Stones. So, then they just started getting individual performers, not a bunch of people, and they're not doing, like, themes. Right. We've cut all that out. No more bands. No.

[00:37:53] No more marching bands. 2007, Prince. 2008, Tom Petty. 2009, Brie Springsteen. 2010, The Who. Then, The Black Eyed Peas. 2012, Madonna. I don't really remember hers. I don't remember that. 2013, Beyonce. And then it just goes on with it. Nobody's really a surprise here. I won't keep boring you with this. But, I mean, we started with a marching band. Right. And then it's gotten ridiculous. Mm-hmm. And all the fighting and the money. And why did Jay-Z get the contract, Roger Goodell? Right. You want to explain that?

[00:38:23] He's got three more years on it, I think. Oh, I don't know. Yeah. They should let the fans vote. Let the fans vote in. I always think there's cheating involved. You know that. I say beagles. Beagles. Beagles and retrievers. Beagles and eagles. Yeah. And then have a cat race, and none of the cats will do anything anybody wants. And you could just pick the cutest cat. They should be represented. Or maybe have the cats be the judges at the end. Meow. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

[00:38:51] Holy shit, they found it. This is crazy. This is crazy. So 1,000 years ago, Leonardo da Vinci supposedly drew all these maps in tunnels somewhere, but they never could figure out where, and even if it was even true. Well, a recent study led by these archaeologist people uncovered a series of underground tunnels

[00:39:18] beneath Sephora's castle, some of which could have matched the secret routes drawn by da Vinci. So they found his maps, but they don't know where these tunnels are. Oh. Yeah. Okay. The research of blah, blah, blah, blah. Used cutting-edge technology. It's personal tunnels hidden beneath this historic fortress. Cool. Yeah. It's very cool.

[00:39:39] Historical accounts suggest that it was used as a secret passage to visit tombs. The tunnel may have served as an escape route in times of siege. Yeah. Were they still there in World War II? Right. Yeah. Do we have any Italianos running out? Tell us. Because you picked the wrong team. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Um. I get shirt. My Judd shirt. Mm-hmm.

[00:40:06] I bought this because it was the cheesiest thing I've ever seen. And I'm so proud of it because it's old school cheesy, which therefore to me makes it kind of cool. Yeah. And I get a lot of compliments on this one and my Rod Stewart one. But this one looks like a mall shot of now, of Mama and Y. And here's how happy they are as the Judds. And you know deep down, they just, I watch that reality show. There's just a seething anger beneath the surface of both of them going, I'm going to go out

[00:40:35] there and say I love you, but I don't. I don't. I hate you. Get your own bus. Get your own bus. Here's some good news. Little country singer Zach Bryant. Moving on to news? Yeah, I only had one. Holy shit, they found it. Okay. Yeah. Yep, news. Little country singer Zach Bryant, he just made history by selling out Michigan Stadium, also known, if you're a football fan, as the big house.

[00:41:03] He sold more than 112,000 tickets in 2.5 hours. Wow. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's awesome. He will need 110. Well, he's already got 112 to break George Strait's current U.S. concert record attendance. That's fantastic. Yeah. I mean, 2,000 standing room. Speaking of music, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has announced who their nominees are. Oh, cool.

[00:41:32] Well, you have to, they all won't make it. These are just the, um, yeah. Uh, pa-pa-pa. Hold on. They've, the Hall of Fame has announced its list of 14 performer nominees to be considered for its induction class. Among these are eight newcomers to the ballot, including Fish. I don't get it. I don't get it. But I don't get the Grateful Dead. No, I don't either. Dorf loves it. Yeah. I mean, he's a deadhead.

[00:42:01] And he likes Fish, too. Yeah. He'd go to any of it. I think they're similar. They are similar. Yeah. Fish, to me, are the younger version of the dead. Yeah. Like, yeah. They're dead part nine. And the Black Crows. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They're joined by Chubby Checker. He should definitely be in. Joe Cocker. Billy Idol. Mm-hmm. That's fantastic. Well, I like him in the commercials, too. Manna, Outkast, and... Who's Manna? Manna. M-A-N-A.

[00:42:30] Outkast, Bad Company, as first-timers. Other nominees are Mariah Carey, Joe Cocker, Joy Division, slash New Order. Cyndi Lauper. New Order. New Edition. Yeah. Cyndi Lauper. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oasis. They should be. Soundgarden. That wasn't my era. I don't know. I'd have to ask. Yeah. And the White Stripes. No. No. No. No.

[00:43:00] I don't think so, either. Name a hit. Not before Cyndi Lauper. No. Right. Exactly. Cyndi goes first, and then I'll talk to the... Well, no. Chubby Checker should go first. Well... He's like a king of rock and roll. No. Yes, he is. Listen, Canada. Canada, you don't get to comment on Chubby Checker. Mm-mm. Anne-Marie. Gordon Whitefoot. Terry Clark. Jan Arden. Terry Clark. Jan Arden. Gordon Lightfoot. Yeah. Anne, of course. Yeah.

[00:43:30] Well, I don't know. It's Google. Are there any Canadians? Say it. Do it. Do it. Spread your tiny wings and fly away. And take that snow back with you from wherever you can. See if there's any Canadians in the... Oh, Brian Adams. Rush should be. Rush is great.

[00:44:01] Yes. Who? Joni Mitchell. Joni Mitchell. Neil Young. Neil Young. How did we forget him? Leonard Cohn. Leonard Cohn, right. And the band. And the band. Mm-hmm. All right. Yeah. Well, that's good. Good times. As long as we're on the rock and roll thing. Sad news here. Chicago's Hard Rock Cafe will close and its giant flying V guitar will retire in March. Wow. I know. The River North location is the latest touristy destination to shutter in recent years.

[00:44:31] I'm kind of surprised. They all still do good. I mean, the big ones, I work. They're kind of updated. Not the new ones. You're talking about the casino. I'm talking about the casino. Hard Rock Casino, Wheatland. Hello. Hello. Love that place. Yes. After 40 years downtown, it's closing. Yeah. A statement from the parent company said the final day of service will be Saturday, March 29th. I would so go Friday or Saturday.

[00:44:59] I work on Fridays and Saturdays. I cannot go. But you'd have to go that week. No one is closing. All of the employees at the Chicago location will be offered outplacement support. The company says they're invited to apply for other positions. Casino locations in Rockford and Gary, Indiana remain open. Yeah. Love the Rock. I may know somebody who knows somebody at that Hard Rock in Rockford. It's a wonderful establishment. Mm-hmm. Hard Rock has enjoyed serving the Windy City for 40 years. We're grateful.

[00:45:30] Okay. So this is the part. There are about 320 Hard Rock cafes worldwide. The Chicago location helped establish River North as a nightlife hub when it opens a door. Blah, blah, blah. At the time, its neighbors were Planet Hollywood, Rainforest Cafe. Awful. I never understood that place. No. But I love the stuffed animal selection. But I'm not going there for that. No. Yeah. It's terrible.

[00:45:57] Following the 80s and 90s, fans in the 80s, 90s would collect Hard Rock. I just bought a Hard Rock T-shirt. It was. The what? The pins. People collect the pins. The pins. Oh. Yeah. I don't know. They're weird. They're weird. I got one that said San Antonio. Made me laugh. What? A Hard Rock TV. A Hard Rock Cafe shirt. Why? It looked throwback. I liked it. You bought one? Yeah, sure did. Yep. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So that's kind of weird.

[00:46:28] In the late 70s, in 2007, the pair sold off the company to the Seminole tribe of Florida. One of my favorite tribes. One of my favorite tribes. The Seminoles treat us great. Shout out to the Seminoles. And a better piece of news. Do you have a big dog? I don't either. I wish I did, though. I mean, I have many cats. Yes. And Chapo's so fat.

[00:46:56] I got to take his greenies away, but I'm waiting until springtime. He's going to go on a tiny diet. He looks like a panda bear. I know. He does look like a panda. He looks like one of the things the Chinese paint at their zoo to call it something else. It's a panda cat. It's a pat. So there's a new airline. It's called Retrieve Air. Get it? Retriever? Retrieve Air? Oh, God. I think it's adorable.

[00:47:22] This is designed specifically for dogs' travel needs and the answer pet parents have been dreaming of. The problem is personal for Benton Miller and the founder of Retrieve Air and his wife Whitney, who have long struggled to support with his two Labradors, Maple and Willow. For us, traveling with our pups met adventures in the mountains and trips back to Texas, and every time we looked into fly, we spent hours and hours and hours. So then they would drive, and he got pissed off about all that. Well, you need to get tired of it. So he found a Retrieve Air with the aim of creating a travel experience that puts pets first,

[00:47:51] including big dogs who are almost always forgotten. There's no extra charge for a larger dog, so you can have like a Dalmatian. I mean, a Great Dane. And he doesn't cost any more. No, I don't think. No. This is very similar. Well, yeah, but let's say this is $5,000 round trip.

[00:48:19] No, I mean, I understand that's a lot, but there's a lot of people that would pay $5,000. If you fly privately, every hour is $5,000. Right. So. Or more. Or more. Yeah. Plus, it's a lot simpler. You don't have all the TSA things. Once checked in, pets and their parents will travel side by side in a 30-seat regional jet. Now, see, that's the part you have to decide are you comfortable in a 30-seater regional jet.

[00:48:48] Like, there's no way my brother would get on that. He has a fear of flying. Not lately. Not meaning yesterday. They are operated by RVR Aviation, a licensed U.S. air carrier. In the air, flight attendants will make sure the dogs are cozy, safe, and provided with lots of waters and treats. Each flight attendant is specifically trained in canine behavior. That would be a great flight attendant job. Me, what? Just go to, there's a thing on Instagram.

[00:49:17] It's an account called Ruff and Puff, and it's a school bus in Canada of dogs. It's in Calgary. It's in Calgary. This guy goes and picks up at least 10 of them every day. They all know their seats. They're all very well behaved. Lots of doodle action going on there. It's a lot of doodles. And the problem with doodles is you don't know if you're getting the golden retriever or a poodle, and they're going to act very differently. But they have birthdays, and he gives them hats, and they have dog. It's a wonderful account. I send it to Lou twice a week, and then if I don't, he's like,

[00:49:46] I haven't received any of my Ruff and Puff videos. I'm like, I'm sorry, Louis. I was actually busy this week. But you could also go follow him, Lou, yourself on Instagram and not make me send him. I don't know. I'd much rather have a plane full of dogs and the people. Oh, yeah. That'd be so much fun. You can go all the way up to 150 pounds for your dog. Oh, wow. Mm-hmm. That's a tiny horse. And they all fall asleep, apparently. Mm-hmm. The flights are designed with plenty of extra leg room,

[00:50:14] so there's plenty of room for them to spread out. Nice. The average price of a flight will be $750. Oh, that's good. That's a lot. Yeah, well, it takes the whole private thing off. It takes the private thing off the table. And then, I don't know, for my mom's dog, it's 50 extra bucks for the Yorkie. So if you buy your plane, I don't know. It depends on how long you're going for it. How are you going to pay for your dog to get there or not anyway? Right. Right. Right.

[00:50:44] I don't think people ever like to leave this. Just look it up if you want. If you want to go fly. Speaking of flying, did you know? I don't know why this made me laugh. Air Canada installed a dance floor in 1972 for their transatlantic flights to attract more passengers who wanted to dance. Who thinks of that? I'm not getting on an airplane unless I can dance. Where am I supposed to dance? I've got to dance.

[00:51:16] That is so. I love it. Okay. Let's see. I'm the last of Gen X. Gen X. Y is the millennials. Gen Z. Jamie Dimion, the chief executive of J.P. Morgan. Yeah. He completely lost his shit on a phone call. And he has had it with the kids that won't come to work. He's super pissed.

[00:51:47] This is a call. So it was a group. It's like a group Zoom. But he's old. So he's on the phone while looking at the Zoom. Grandpa, you don't need the phone too. An employee asked whether he'd be open to giving managers discretion over their teams in office work. The employee said that because he works for a team across several countries in time zones five days a week in the office, it just doesn't make sense for him.

[00:52:17] And he said, I'm going to give you a complete answer. There is no, repeat, no chance that I will leave that up to managers. Zero. The abuse that took place is extraordinary. You may be a great manager, but I'm going to give you examples of how bad it got. Okay. And then he goes on and on about the workload, you know, the productivity going down.

[00:52:43] Listen, he goes, they also, he also says he's worried about their socialization. It's not up to you, Jamie, to be worried about your employees' personal life and whether they have a friend to get a beer with on a Friday. Who gives a shit? I just need you to work and do your job. He said they're left being, they're being left behind socially. These people this age, they don't seem to give a shit. So what do you care? You're not their parent or their partner or whatever.

[00:53:11] He said they're being left behind socially, ideas, meeting people. In fact, my guess is most of you live in communities a hell of a lot less diverse than this room. He's also, he said it's had all kinds of effects that are terrible. And you know, I'm right about this one. A lot of you were on fucking Zooms and you were doing the following, looking at your mail, sending texts to each other about what an asshole the other person is. Check, check, check. Usually I'm drawing a picture of a dog.

[00:53:41] That's usually what I'm, it's some sort of dog. The other person is not paying attention, not reading your stuff. And if you don't think that slows down efficiency, creativity creates rudeness. Well, it does. When I found out that people were doing that, you don't do that in my goddamn meetings. He's mad. If you're going to meet with me, you've got my attention. You've got my focus. I didn't bring my goddamn phone in. I'm not sending texts to people. It simply doesn't work. It doesn't work for creative. It slows down decision making.

[00:54:10] And don't give me this shit that work from home Fridays. I call a lot of people on Fridays and there's not a goddamn person you can get a hold of. He's so mad. He hates Fridays. Hey, dude, just relax. But I'm the lady that's voting for a three-day work week. Jamie is 68. Jamie is 68. Pawpaw is not having this bullshit. He's a Pisces. He's a Pisces. He's an angry Pisces. He's an angry Pisces. Wow, he has flipped his lid.

[00:54:41] He went to Harvard. He went to Harvard. He went to Harvard. Did he do good at Harvard? I don't know. He's so mad. I just love it. He goes, I'm not mad at you. Don't be mad at me. It's a free country. You can walk with your feet. But this company is going to set our own standards and do it our way. I've had it with this kind of stuff. I've been working seven days a goddamn week since COVID, and I come in, and where is everybody? They're here. They're there. The Zooms. The Zooms that don't show up.

[00:55:10] This is not how you run a company. Jamie made $39 million that we know of. Right. Mm-hmm. The asshole. And then another person, this is where I love the kids because, like, he'll go off on this Pawpaw speech, you know, goddamn, blah, blah, blah. And then they're like, okay, so, like, how much vacation do we get before we start?

[00:55:38] They blow off everything he said and then demand more. They triple down. Oh, my God. Hold on. I didn't know if there was anything else. Jamie needs to retire. Jamie's not going to be okay. No, he's going to have a stroke over this. He's very mad. Oh, my God. I'm going to give you an example of performance reviews. I'm not really quite sure what I'm saying.

[00:56:07] I get performance reviews for my operating committee, and, you know, they got longer and longer and longer, maybe six pages long. And it's because of legal and risk. They had to look at it, and risk had to look at it. And it's an official document. The regulators might see it. There might be litigation around it, and we've got to be careful. I get this thing, and I throw it in the goddamn garbage can. It's 100% bullshit. I literally can't stand it. I've said year after year, and I still get bullshit.

[00:56:37] People are taking hours to write reviews that are up 12% this year. So he doesn't like the performance reviews because he thinks they're bullshit, clearly. I just love that the kids are like, okay, so, like, what about personal days? Like, what if you have pets? Like, does that count like a kid? Because it should. Yeah.

[00:57:06] Did you eat breakfast? You seem crabby. Did you quit drinking coffee? It's not good for you anyway. You should switch to green tea. And as long as we're throwing Gen Z under the bus. Although I, but I applaud it. Because you know what? I don't think it should be five days at home, work from home. You should have to come into an office, I'd say, a couple days a week. Three. And then it's fun. You say three, I say two.

[00:57:34] Depends on what city you're in and is it easy to get to. What? Get around in. Yeah, well, I'm not of the old school. I'm not. I work to live. I don't live to work. I am aware of that. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. I could make more money, but why? I make good money. You do. Yeah. The only person that's going to care is Baby Cat. Yeah.

[00:58:05] This is, bartenders are throwing the Gen Zers under the bus. What? The great thing is they don't care. They don't care. He goes, they close tabs. This is their complaints. They close, and I bartended, so I do get these complaints. They close tabs between rounds. Oh, no. That's horrible. That don't. What are you guys doing? They'll come in in a group. It's usually like, you know, four or five of them or bigger, and they'll order like a couple of drinks for the whole group, and then they'll close out the tab. Then they'll hang out there for a good while, and then you start giving them looks like,

[00:58:34] hey, are you guys going to buy another drink? Then they'll come back and put up two empty drinks on the bar, take another round of those two drinks, and then, again, like, close it out. That's annoying. So many credit cards. They call them space vampires. It's actually a one-two punch that combines the two of the bartender's biggest pet peeves. Ephraim mentioned closing out and the problem of taking up room at the bar while purchasing very little. That space could be going to me. Yes. Yes.

[00:59:01] I will drink beer after beer after beer until I'm ready to go or the game ends or whatever. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that is annoying. It's also like video poker machines, people that are sitting at the bar just drinking and not playing that machine and there's no available machines. That's where it should be up to the bartender to go in a casino to go. If you're not going to play, you can't sit here. Some of them do that. Some casinos. Bar etiquette in high school should be taught. Yes, I agree. Yeah.

[00:59:31] Well, the vibes can sour other people's experience at the bar, especially if you're one of the unlucky patrons who wants to have a seat but has to settle for watching a group of friends nurse two beers. Ultimately, though, it's the bartenders who have to deal with the energy and the financial drain. They also say they're impersonal. They don't care about where they are, what's on the menu. They're not sitting there and, like, getting to know who I am or seeing how I make a martini. Okay, dude, that's a little too much about you. I don't care about your martini. No, you're not in that Tom Cruise movie.

[01:00:01] What was that thing? No, it wasn't. You know, where he threw cocktails. It was cocktails. Yeah. Yeah. I think when it comes to younger people, I feel like they have sort of lost this idea of appropriate social currencies and social transactions. Then they're blaming the lockdown. It's not COVID. No. It's just whatever. They just. That's a year and a half. Phones. I'd blame phones more. Yeah.

[01:00:31] Because before, if you didn't have a phone and you go in a bar and sit at a bar, somebody might start talking to you and you either got to talk back or you got to get up and leave because it's going to be weird. It's always weird. But instead, you just go on your phone and then everybody goes on their phone. Yeah. I don't know. It just made me laugh, though. They're getting. Jamie Dimion's ready to kill all of them. The bartenders hate you. Not a good week. But again, I don't think the kids care. No. In super great news, hip-hop star Nelly is bringing back a bowling alley where I grew up in Florissant, Missouri.

[01:01:00] And it used to be called Olympic Lanes. It's going to be called Dirty Bowling. Dirty Bowling. Get it? And our claim to fame, we have 12 wooden lanes that were used in the 1960 Tokyo Summer Olympics. What? Yep. We take bowling seriously. What? St. Louis does. Wait. It's the home of the greatest bowler ever, Dick Weber. We shipped them. We bought them and shipped them back from Tokyo. Wooden Lanes. Yes, from Tokyo. You called it from the front.

[01:01:34] I don't know why we care. I think because we're drinkers and it's just something you can do and you act like it's social and you acted like you kind of exercised, you know? But really, you're smoking and drinking and it's cold all winter. I was in a bowling league when I worked at Stuart Anderson's Cowder Company. No. But then some St. Louis people take it too seriously and I'd be like, shit, I got to work Monday night. I can't make it. And they'd go, well, you have to go pre-bowl. And I'm like, what? What do you mean? Go by yourself to the bowling alley

[01:02:04] and play two games and record your score. Of course it's ridiculous. I said I suck. Put 103. I don't care. Put 90. I don't. Yeah, they wanted me to pre-bowl. I did not do that. I just quit. I'm like, if you guys are going to be this serious, I'm out. I don't pre-bowl. I don't pre-bowl. It's not part of my gig. Are you a good bowler? Was I good? Are you good? No, I'm terrible. No, but no. Terrible. I don't know this about you.

[01:02:34] Well, I don't go anymore. I have other things to do. I know. But I don't know. It was something to do when you were a teenager. Yeah. Okay. Here's something sad. And this is my generation's thing. Quicksilver, Billabong, and Volcom to close stores nationwide. I loved a Quicksilver store. Everything was so soft and surfy and cool. And Billabong stuff was great. They're closing more than 100 stores throughout the country after their California-based operator liberated brands filed for Chapter 11.

[01:03:04] Oh, wow. And that sucked. I know they had brands like Roxy, cool stuff. Sad times. So maybe go check out their sales if you guys like their stuff. Although for women, the largest size is like a four. Yeah. They're not into- No. No. Not one bit. This is my feel-good stories. Hold on. I have more, though. Oh, I want to watch that documentary. You can't believe you're a bowler. I started watching- Well, I'm not a bowler anymore.

[01:03:32] It was something of my youth in my bartending days. Youthful bowling. Well, and then the bartender people, the restaurant people, it was something we could all do on Mondays. It was fun. Okay. Instead of just drink. It was fun. Like, I didn't have my own bowling ball. I wasn't that into it. I was going to say, shoes? No. No. I have no idea if you wear other people's shoes. It's kind of gross wearing other people's shoes. Yeah, it's correct. I know. I wish sometimes they sold bowling shoes as shoes. And then when they say- New. You have them?

[01:04:01] Yeah, you have to wear socks. Gross. Well, I'm sure people have come in there and not done that. Come on. Mm-hmm. Oh. There's a breathtaking village in Switzerland that will pay you to move there. Would you like to live in Switzerland? Not really. Yeah, I've been. Might go back to Canada. It's very- You want to go back to Canada? I don't know. I'll do this. I heard those borderlines are pretty long right now. Paddles. Tearing apart cars and shit. Looking for stuff. Hmm.

[01:04:32] Yep. If you want to live in Switzerland, I'm going to tell you how to do it. It's Albanian, Switzerland. A breathtaking village overlooking stunningly snow-capped mountains. Here's the problem for me. Too cold. It's far. It's- Well, I'm just saying in theory, I would go to a Scotland or an Irish island where it's wet cold. Yeah. But this is snow cold. Not a lot of golf. Not a lot of golf. And it was kind of boring.

[01:05:02] I went. Yes. They're very linear. Yeah. They don't have like an outstanding treat that I could- Like, even the Germans, if you went to like their beer halls and stuff, you got a vibe of this with the Germans. It's all fun until it turns. And that's a quick turn. Then it got weird and we invaded the world. What? Yeah. I liked Germany though, but Switzerland, I just- It's beautiful, but I just- I couldn't get a handle on what we're all doing. What are we doing? A lot of watch stores.

[01:05:32] Yeah. How many watches can I buy in a lifetime and care? I have two. It's facing depopulation with residents moving away in great numbers over the past few years with fewer than 250 residents left. There were just 243 in the village at the end of 2020. The town's economic success is in question. To clarify, the village is far from uninhabitable. It's nestled on a mountain slope at 4,265 feet above sea level, making it beautiful, clean, and filled with unbeatable scenery.

[01:06:02] Unfortunately though, it's not close to- It has a non-existent job market. So to combat that issue, the government's willing to pay you to move there. What? Yep. You can be paid $57,000 to move there, a family of four. Wow. Mm-hmm. To break it down, the Swiss government will pay $26,000 per adult and $10,000 per child. There are some requirements. Those willing to relocate must be under the age of 45 as well as a Swiss citizen.

[01:06:32] Well, now you put the Swiss bullshit in? Mm-hmm. I mean, that's on you that you got to open that up. Right. Right. Yeah. There's not enough people in Switzerland that are going to give a shit. They probably already like where they live. Right. Why am I going to go to this weird village? Yeah. Yeah. Be a little more open-minded, please. This is a- Hold on. All right. This is Kooky.

[01:06:59] Did I ever tell you I went to a Blink 182 concert one time? I went with my friend Scott. Scott- Did you go after Bowling? No. This is when I was in my 30s in Los Angeles. And Scott was in love with the drummer from Blink 182. Scott's totally gay. Uh-huh. And he begged me. I said, Scott, I don't care about their music. I don't know anything. And so I educated myself. I got their CD. I'm like, whatevs. It's okay. Mark.

[01:07:28] Who's Mark? He's the lead singer. Mark? Mark Hoppus. Well, he's the one I'm going to be talking about in a minute. Great. Anyway, the Blink 182 concert was somewhere at Universal up there. I don't know. Seemed like a pain in the ass. But we went, and I just didn't care about what I- I was bored. It was fine. I just wasn't- I didn't really care. Well, then I went outside.

[01:07:56] I was looking for the bathroom, and I saw a sign that said parental beer garden. And I'm like, yes! So I texted Scott. I'm like, have fun. I'm in the parental beer garden with the other parents. Me and Scott are the same age. I'm like, that's true. But the lead singer, a painting, he owns a Banksy. What? Painting. Wow. And he- Yep. It's going up for auction, and they think it's going to get $6.3 million.

[01:08:27] And the proceeds, some of the proceeds are going to help the victims of the LA fires. This one's called crude oil. I don't like- I like most Banksy's. This one, I don't- A little darker. I don't love it. How does he have a Banksy? He's the basis, it says. Oh. He's- I don't know. Maybe Blink 182 made a lot of money. Yeah. I guess. Maybe they're out of money. Well, I will update you on what- He's basically celebrating. Maybe, yeah.

[01:08:56] Well, he says he's giving it to fire people. Uh-huh. I mean, not fire. I mean, people that were victims of the fire. Yes. Yes. We're just going to talk about golf for one minute. Yes. So, Tiger and Rory tried to invent this indoor league. It's on. It's so bad. The ratings are terrible. I'm like, who's going to watch somebody play on a simulator? I don't even want to watch myself do it. I don't love it. But, terrible. It's not working.

[01:09:25] And Live Golf has lost so much money. They said it's staggering amounts. Live is the Saudi back league that stole a bunch of players from the PGA. And if you don't follow golf, just follow me here. PGA is the one that was established many, many years ago. Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer. And then we, boom, go all the way to Tiger Woods. Everything was running great. Should they have shared a little more revenue with the players? Probably. Probably is Jay Monahan completely full of shit and should not be paid and should be fired and not paid and made to pay money back.

[01:09:54] You have fucked this up so badly. Completely fucked up golf. And everybody I know agrees. Even if you disagree or agree with Live and taking Saudi money and this and that, it doesn't matter. Nobody watches Live. And they took John Rahm and Patrick Reed. Well, I shouldn't say they took them. They went. Dustin Johnson. So, somebody said, well, they took all the guys that were kind of assholes. I'm like, I don't care. You need them to be. If you're going to have angels, you've got to have devils.

[01:10:24] And to make it interesting to root against somebody, to root for somebody. They've lost somewhere between $244 million and $394 million. The Saudis do not care. But the thing is, nobody. Now golf, we're stuck. It's easy to bet on golf now because it's going to be the same top 10 guys basically every Sunday. Here's Scotty Scheffler. Here's Rory. Here's Hideki. The new kids on the block. I don't know who they are yet.

[01:10:54] But even Ron, my friend, Ron watches all golf. And he's just like, it just sucks. They've just torn it apart. I don't know where anybody's at anymore. I don't know half the people. Then you watch a PGA tournament, and I'm like, I don't even know eight out of ten of those people on that leaderboard. And it could be they took Answer, the Mexican guy. Yeah, he's great. But I also don't want to watch Liv because golf is not a team sport. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[01:11:23] For fun every now and next exhibition, yes. But golf, we had a sport established in 1497. That's the year. And then Greg Norman said, no, we're going to do golf differently. No, we're not. No, we're not, Greg. Just because you're still mad about the 1996 Masters, you choked. It's not like the PGA did that to you. You did that. You choked. Anyway. Thank you for that.

[01:11:50] They say that Trump is going to help them get golf back together. It's going to be a wonderful solution. I don't know. That was supposed to happen January 1st. It's almost March 1st. And none of that has happened. Feel good story? I think I already covered this, but it's happening in real time. Country star, music star Eric Church confirms he's donating 40 homes, 40 homes, to the victims

[01:12:17] of Hurricane Helene in Western North Carolina. He's building an entire neighborhood with a community center and hiking trails. The keys to the first homes will be handed out in June. Look at how fast he moves. Yeah. I'm going to save this one for next week. All right. I got some thank yous. I'm going to save that one. I like it. And then we're going to do our quotes and our saint. Have a good saint. Yay. Fort Lauderdale. Thanks.

[01:12:46] Oh, the catnip. Yeah. That was a good one. That was Boca Raton. Termite, Christy, and her tabby cats. And Katz Miller and Coltrane. And some beer. A lot of toys. A lot of toys. I know. It's great. Lurubia beer and Aaron. That's Termite Aaron. A guava candy. That's what I think I'm going to taste. Funky. The Funky Buddha Lager. Loved it. Termite Step. Yep. And great more cat toys from Termite Jody.

[01:13:15] Fat Orange Cat local beer. That was fun. That's cool. And when I have Michael, trust me, every single one of these beers are drank. And immediately, and then the guy was like, here's how you can make them even colder. Get a wet paper towel. Yeah. And put them around it and shove it. It worked. I'm not confident. Do what? Take a wet, like, just a paper towel from a paper towel. Yeah. Put it around the beer. Yeah. And then put that in the freezer. And it's wet. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Makes it colder faster. I know. Who knew? Right?

[01:13:43] Oh, my favorite golf balls. The pink soccer ball ones. Yay. Termite's Colleen. Mom and her daughter, Jess. Golf club bottle opener. Right. It's Kathleen with the same birthday. No way. Wow. Two Kathleen's. Yeah. Ear warmers. Sanibel fans. Sherry and Don. Cher and John. I'd say E on the end. I don't know. And some homemade jerky. I love jerky. And it got Greg and Margaret and candy and stuff. It was wonderful backstage.

[01:14:11] And I had promised what I thought was a couple termites, a couple free tickets, because there was a mix-up with some stuff. And then they got there, and there was four of them. And I'm like, oh, shit. Because every single seat. But here's the great thing about young people. I'm like, well, maybe they'll just want to sit on stage with me. And they were more excited about that. Because I said to the theater guy, there's really not a seat left out of 1,897.

[01:14:40] And he goes, Kathleen, there is absolutely nothing. And I go, can I get four folding chairs and put them side stage? Young people. That's where old people would be like, I don't know about all that. They were great. Did he give you a beer? Iowa people. Yeah. He gave me the beer when I got off stage. Yeah. They were adorable. It was fun to be able to. Is there anything more than that? I don't know what I really would have done. How to figure that out. I guess I could do up to eight, four and four.

[01:15:09] This saint is in charge of computers and computer users. Oh, that's busy. Saint Isadora of Seville. He lived from 560 to 636. Wow. He was from a family of saints. Born in Spain. Yeah. A period when the Goths tyrannized Europe. These tribes distrusted anyone with an education. Nevertheless, Isadora was educated by his very strict brother.

[01:15:36] And as an adult, he developed a representation form of government for all of Europe. Wow. Look at him. You look wonderful. He wrote an encyclopedia known as something too hard for me to say, which was the definitive source of knowledge in Western Europe until the 1400s. Wow. Wow. He wrote books on grammar, astronomy, history. He was brilliant, generous, and a forgiving man. Upon his deathbed, he left all of his belongings to the poor. So I guess because he wrote all the things that would have been what we consider Google now,

[01:16:06] he's Mr. Google. So if you're having a computer problem, you say your little shout out to Saint Isadora. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Two quotes. Let's do Cher since she just murdered it at the thing. This is about the guy.

[01:16:36] Remember she dated the bagel boy. Oh, yeah. Everybody called him the bagel boy. His name was Robert Camaliti. Yeah. Letty. Mm-hmm. He was possibly the one true love of my life. I hate the phrase toy boy. It's actually boy toy chair. Boy toy, yeah. But whatever. It's so demeaning. Nobody blinks an eyelid about Michael Douglas marrying Catherine Zeta-Jones. It's true. True that. It doesn't work the same. No. No. No. Nobody's even saying anything about Belichick. I mean. It's getting weird. It's bizarre. It's crazy.

[01:17:08] His ex-wife. What about his kids that are older than her? Wow, they all seem weird. I don't know. Um. Oh. Okay, this is Dolly discussing her relationship with God. If my attitude needs more adjusting, I'd visualize God holding me upside down and shaking all the negative stuff, fears, doubts, insecurities right out of me. Try it. Ask God to turn you upside down. Okay?

[01:17:37] Shake the negativity. Shake it. Jamie Demian's shaking it. Ugh. Goddamn pieces of shit. I don't know what kind of business I'm trying to run here. And you people, all you do is have questions about your vacation. Jamie needs to retire. Jamie needs to retire. And Jamie needs to calm down. And you know what? You make $39 million a year. Just be happy. You're sick. You're big. Yeah. Yeah. Calm down, Jamie. Calm down. Yeah. Calm down, Heidi. All right. Terramides. I got to go pack long underwear because I'm going where it's going to be.

[01:18:07] Negative nine. No, my plan for this weekend, my goal is to just get where I got to go. Because the weather is going to be dicey everywhere and it's stressful. But once I'm there, like once I get settled, Davenport should be fine. It's just I want to make sure I get to Minnesota fine. And then I'm there for two nights because it's awesome.

[01:18:33] Are you going to send your travels out on those social medias? Yes. I'm going to put out all kinds of videos of me freezing in different spots. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I have good long underwear for you. Well, a termite sent me a bunch of long underwear. I have to go try it on. Yeah. I have it from the Hudson Bay Company. You have the Hudson Bay Company? Is that supposed to be better than anything else that you can possibly purchase? I don't know, but it works. Everybody says on the team email, cuddle duds. I don't. Yeah.

[01:19:01] I have Eddie Bauer from the outlet mall circa 1994 that me and my mom bought. But shout out to Eddie Bauer. They still work. There's not a hole in them. It's amazing. It's amazing. They still keep me warm. They keep me warm. They're my thinnest ones. And then I think it's, I don't know the other, Bauer maybe or I don't know. Anyway, it doesn't matter. That's it, termites. You guys have a fun week. Stay warm. Stay warm.

[01:19:27] Stay safe if you're getting these giant snow stores. Yeah, send them videos. Put them on Instagram. Whatever. All right.