Episode 213: Dethroning JAWS, Painted Tigers, & Budweiser’s Famous Tiny Clydesdale

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:30] Oh my god, so many things. What are we drinking? I was reprimanded by a termite in a very friendly way that I don't talk about ciders enough because I'm not really a cider person. I'm a one-soda-wild cider person. It's not really my thing. But she brought me one to do it. This is black phillip, blood orange and cranberry hard cider. It is delicious, I will say. But you know, the ciders, it's like treat thing. You can't have four.

[00:00:57] Well, if I would have four McUltras, I can't. No. That was termite Jenna. And a very far of, because she said you've tasted liquor, other kinds of alcohol, but never, and it's true. Most of them I get, I send to my friend Tony. My friend Lorene's husband, Tony, he loves weird beers and like things you've never heard of. Well, you drink them with the staff.

[00:01:22] Well, I drink them with the staff and stuff, but I always bring one home and then Tony gets a beer box about once every three months and I try to time it with a sporting event. Oh? Yes, Lorene is appreciative. What are we eating? Well, since we were in Durham, Raleigh, Durham. How about some Carolina Classic Barbecue Chips from Termite Jennifer? Anything Carolina barbecue I'm in. Nice. I love it. What do you taste like? Vinegar? It's just like vinegar, barbecue.

[00:01:51] A lot going on after you eat it. Really? Yeah. I didn't even know my tongue had this many taste buds left. Wow. Yeah. Good. Grippies? Grippos. Grippos. Yeah. I like the bag too. Good packaging. Good. Oh, it's a Cincinnati icon. Huh. What? Yeah, they're made in Cincinnati. She brought them, but it says Carolina Classic Barbecue, so that counts. They're regional.

[00:02:21] Post Malone has new Oreos. Who cares about that? What? Yep, my dad would care. He would care. They actually look good. Oh, wow, you can smell the sweet. Yeah, I'm not a big sweet person, but. What are caramel? Well, they're caramel with shortbread flavoring. And one side is tan, and then the other side is the old dark Oreo color. Wow. Very open. They're really good. Really? They're almost better than real Oreos.

[00:02:51] Shut up. Wow. Well, no, now it's at me. Too sweet at the end for me. But. So is Post, though. So sweet at the end. So is Post. Another genre jumper. We'll be talking about that in a minute. I need some bullshit comments online about that. Well, yeah, I'd give them an A plus for what they're going for. Nice. Yeah. Yep. It's kind of strange. Post is into cookies. It's weird. I know. Cookies and beer.

[00:03:20] Cookies and beer. Yeah. Oh, and here, Reese's. I always love a Reese's. Red Velvet. Yes, for Valentine's Day. Which is coming up. Or as one of my friends has said wrong his entire life, Valentine's. We've covered that before, though. I need to call Bob on Valentine's. Tell him. Supposedly, it's Valentine's Day. These are Reese's Red Velvet Peanut Butter. Let's see. Mm. Mm.

[00:03:49] It just tastes like a regular Reese's. Okay. I think they just dyed the top. The top is pink. It's supposed to be red. That's the velvet. It's the velvet. I understand. It's the velvet. Thank you, Paddles, for sorting that out. They're the miniatures. They're good. Yeah. Yeah. It just tastes like a regular Reese's. Yep. All right. Shows before we get into what's been going on. This weekend, Fort Lauderdale and then Fort Myers.

[00:04:18] Then the 20th, Davenport, Iowa. So exciting. Then I'll be driving through the middle of the night to get to Minnesota. February 21st to 22nd, Prior Lake, Minnesota. March 7th, Morgantown. March 8th, Washington, D.C. That is sold out. But they always drop tickets at last minute. Macon, Georgia. That's on the 14th. The 15th, Charleston. We added a second show. We're doing our early bird one, 5 o'clock. Yep. Take your day drinking right on into the show. Perfect. March 21st, Fort Collins.

[00:04:48] Then 22nd, Colorado Springs. The 28th, Virginia Beach. The 29th, Charlotte. April 4th, New Orleans. Can't wait for that one. So fun. Yeah. I think that one sold out too. And Pensacola on April 5th. I've been to Pensacola forever. That'll be fun. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. So I was in Durham for two shows. Beautiful theater. The Carolina theater. And the seats are baby blue. Like, they sent them all the way to England to redo these seats. What? Yeah.

[00:05:18] It's crazy. They're beautiful. And I think it's supposed to represent Carolina blue as in Tar Heel blue as in where Louis Black went to school. True. As in. And then he taught me I'm supposed to hate Duke, but Dr. Ken went to Duke. I love Dr. Ken. And so I can't hate Duke. No. Can't hate Duke. I don't even know enough about either one of them to really give a shit. But I mean, I'll root for Louis' little team if I'm supposed to. Aaron Weber was the opener. What? Yeah. He's good. The staff there's great.

[00:05:47] Got to see my old friends Ray and Jerry. Really lose friends. But then my friends via that. And then I still lose friends. I do that a lot. And he doesn't know it. Or he's not really aware of how much I steal his friends. That we do secret things. All right. You told me you stayed in. I did. I stayed at a Westin that was out by the airport. And the Utah Hockey Club was there.

[00:06:14] And I can't believe how skinny a lot of those guys are. And some are very, some are quite short. Really? I mean, for professional hockey players, I don't know. Height doesn't matter. Height does not matter, clearly. How tall is Wayne Gretzky? Is he a shoddy? I should know that. You should know that. I should know that. You'd be kicked out of Canada. For not knowing that. I'd say that he's 5'9". He doesn't seem tall. 6'1". Yeah. Whoa. That's without skates. Whoa, without skates.

[00:06:43] Then you put skates, you're 7'8". It's crazy. Ovechkin, 6'3". Ovechkin, 6'3". Mm-hmm. Well, he's going to break your little. No. He's going to break his record. No. Yeah, he is. No, I've already made arrangements. I don't want it to happen either. And I feel like they're kind of cheating. They're totally cheating. Because Wayne Gretzky didn't know he was setting a record. So he played, they all played normally. Ovechkin, they just put him, he's a grandpa now. And they put him down there at the blue line right next to the net. And then they feed him the puck and boom, he's just got to break. But, I mean, he did score all these goals.

[00:07:13] I loved to go see him. I went to go see him play the Predators. But I saw what was going on. Yeah. And Pawpaw ain't out there that much. No. No. No. He's going to stand on the blue line. He's 39. On September 17th, he'll be 40. He's a Libra. No, he ain't.

[00:07:43] He's not a Libra. Nope. He's in with the Louis Black Virgo tribe. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't seem like a Virgo. Louis? No. Ovechkin. Ovechkin doesn't seem, no. Ovechkin seems like a Taurus or something that can be, or Scorpio, something that can be mildly violent when they want to. Yeah. He's a Virgo. Let's see what happens. I know it. Yeah, he's a Virgo. Yeah. That ends on September something, like 25th or something.

[00:08:14] Let's talk about the Super Bowl. I can't believe I got that excited for a game that was that awful. Even if I wasn't rooted for the Chiefs. Forget who the teams are. Yeah. Terrible. Just so boring. And so the first quarter, I decided to go up to the golf course because all the guys are up there. But then it was too loud. And I'm like, I can't hear the commercials. I can't hear. Yeah. But I wanted to see what numbers I got. I didn't win any squares. It's about gambling. I did. Yeah, it is kind of about gambling. I did. And then I thought, well, bullshit.

[00:08:42] I'm just going to go home and watch it because it was, it's so bad. I remember going to a Cardinal World Series game once we played the Red Sox and it was like the Cardinals were just broken. Like they didn't get a hit. Nothing. And we lost, I think three to nothing or two to nothing to the Red Sox. I mean, it was cold, but for baseball, like 50. But this football game, I mean, I did say on this podcast on the NFC side, I think it will be the Eagles. I'm pretty proud of that prediction.

[00:09:10] I did, however, think Andy Reid could out coach Sirianni and then Andy Reid with Patrick Mahomes. I didn't think there was just no offensive line. I mean, every play Patrick's on his ass every and we did not do that to Jalen. No. And I like Jalen. Everything he went through was bullshit to get where he got to be. So good for him. Um, he did tell Nick Saban to fuck off and not many people have the balls to do that. If you're not a football fan, that's an Alabama person.

[00:09:38] He's the coach of, uh, roll tide, roll tide. And Vic Henley, my late great friend, Vic Henley taught me I'm supposed to root against them. I'm only supposed to root for Auburn. And then I'm supposed to say war eagle. And I purposely add a S. I would add an S on it just to irritate Vic. I'm like war eagles. He's like, no, there ain't, there ain't a bunch of them. War eagle. I knew that. I knew that, but I just wanted to say, um, the game itself.

[00:10:06] And then even by halftime, I thought, well, he could go in and make some adjustments. Yeah. No, but I want a bunch of parlay bets. Cause I teased, I teased the, um, Kansas City had to score 21 or more for my parlays to turn out. And then at the end, they just let them score and score. And I thought, Oh, Vegas is going crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. And they ended up with 22 points. So that is not representative of what happened in that game though. Not at all.

[00:10:35] And my sister and my nephew, sister-in-law and nephew went to the Superbowl. What? Yeah. They went down there. Her people, she's got people, cousins and shit. And yeah, I don't know. They scrounged up two tickets. They were way up there, but they got in. Wow. Mm-hmm. Cool. Yeah. It's a family divided. Can we talk about Taylor? Can we talk about Taylor? Yes. I thought that was bullshit. Booing her. Listen, I am, as everybody knows, I'm not a Swifty.

[00:11:05] Did I go to a concert? I did. I wanted to see the production value. Thank you. I appreciate that. You're a Swifty. I'm just a, I know like five songs. You're nifty. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a 50. I'm a 50. I liked the show. Yeah. Except Bob kept saying his knees hurt. I'm like, how fucking old are we, Bob? Can we sit down? My knees hurt. I'm like, no, Grandpa. But then I was saying, what era are we in? I don't even know. And then there's like eight more to go. I'm like, okay, I'm with Bob. Let's sit down.

[00:11:34] My knees hurt too. Or let's go get some liquor. There's no line. The children don't care. Or let's just use the bathroom because we can. Because they flipped all the men's bathrooms into women's bathrooms. So there was just ample toilets everywhere. It kind of makes you just want to keep going to the bathroom because you can. I just don't see a reason to boo her. She's just a person at a game. She does a lot of good things. Well, and can we just discuss one minute? Because there were some shitty little comments, which I will, I don't necessarily block you.

[00:12:04] But Taylor, when she genre jumped, because I said Beyonce did. So did Post Malone. I don't think he should get an award. I don't think Dolly Parton should win Best Rock Album. Like, no. But Taylor was a teenager and came to Nashville to do country music and did her little thing and then went into pop and never came back. Right. You're allowed to switch when you're 16. Right. But when you're 50, do you not? Right. I mean, whatever.

[00:12:33] So I don't, I'm not like, I'd be really upset if they booed Stevie. Like, I take it personally. Like, I would be very upset. But Taylor, I don't feel that way about, but I just thought it was shitty. Yeah. Well, she does a lot of good stuff. Like, oh my God, she's giving food banks away that are worth bazillions of dollars. I don't even understand where the hate, unless it's because she's not, she's not in favor of Donald. And so Donald's people on his behalf, I think, probably booed her. They cheered him. Yeah, they cheered him. They booed her. But some people booed him. I heard it.

[00:13:04] It was hard to hear anything. Um, and then let's talk about the halftime show. Here's the thing. I don't know anything about Kendrick Lamar. So, but I watched with an open mind. He's adorable. And I loved his jeans. And I'm like, how he's gotta be a shorty. And I Googled, he's only five, five. And I'm like, if he can wear his jeans like that, why can't I? Well, no, the problem is I'm only barely five one. So I would just, I would look like a gremlin or some sort of hobbit in a robe.

[00:13:34] Like he, five, five, you could still do it, but it does make you look shorter. But maybe he doesn't care. He's as cute as the devil. Um, and then I was on, like, I watched it and I'm like, you know, I don't really know what just happened and I'm not really sure what he said. So I'm going to rewatch this. And then there are people, this lady on TikTok going, you guys don't understand. Like there's all this symbolism within the show.

[00:14:00] And I'm like, right, but I'm in a golf course and I've already had five McUltras and 14 chicken wings. I can't figure that out. I don't, what do you mean? That's the American flag when we're considering slave states were part of this. And then 40 acres and a mule. I knew that one. That's famous. Um, his, I thought his jacket said Florida, 40 acres and a mule.

[00:14:27] Well, Canadian termites might not understand it, but when black slaves were freed, they were promised that by the government and then never happened. Yeah. Well, like that's a big duh. I wouldn't have been waiting on that either. They're not going to do it. They say that shit like that. Anyway, there was all this symbolism stuff and his jacket actually said glory. I thought first, I thought it was a Florida Gator jacket. Well, and I wasn't the only one, so it wasn't the beer talking, but I'm like, huh. And then I thought, did he grow up in Florida?

[00:14:56] And I Googled it. Nope. Compton. Um, he doesn't drink. He doesn't smoke. He's a good kid. Um, I don't know how old he is. Uh, I know how tall he is. Um, then I went back, 37. All right. Good for him. Go for you. As Rocky in the Port would say, I went back and watched it a few more times and I liked it each more time that I watched it.

[00:15:26] He's a Gemini. Ooh. And then he had all these secret shout outs. This is the thing. I can't do hard on Super Bowl halftime. I can barely do hard when I'm supposed to do hard. Fuck. Right. I got things going on on my phone with the gambling and I'm supposed to know that that means this is before we had real states and other states. And I don't know any of that, but I did like it more each time I watched it. So it's been very educational for me. I've learned a lot in the last day.

[00:15:56] Um, uh, I don't know that they're going to let Jay-Z keep doing these kinds of things. Um, well, here's the thing. He doesn't get paid. Kendrick does it. He gets a SAG after scale, which is basically a thousand dollars. What? They don't get paid unless they happen to be union ones. And that's a whole different story, but they do pay for the performance. So all those dancers, all the sets, all the, and it's the greatest way to advertise whatever you got going on.

[00:16:23] Oh, and the symbolism that he's sitting on a 1985 car or 87. It's the year he was born. Well, how the fuck am I supposed to know that? You don't know how he is. Right. I had to Google all that, but yeah, it was hard. Um, I think if you were already a fan, it was probably super exciting. I loved Uncle Sam being, and it was kind of like, okay, then we're going to do it in your face. We have a black Uncle Sam and it's Samuel L. Jackson, who I do love. Black Uncle Sam. Yes. And I don't, um.

[00:16:52] He's so great. I, he, I didn't understand anything though. No. I didn't understand it while it was going on. And I'm not sure Superbowl halftime shows should be hard. No. The first Superbowl show ever? No. New Kids on the Block. New Kids on the Block. No. Yeah. That can't be the first halftime show ever. Yes. No, because Dolly did one. Superbowl. No.

[00:17:21] My younger sister loved them. Did New Kids on the Block have a person named Joey? Yeah. Yeah. That's the one she liked. I didn't like them. Mm. All right. Oh, I didn't. Well, I'm going to do who performed at all of them. That's a, that's interesting. Yeah. We just need something this year a little more that would unite. It's a shame John Denver's dead.

[00:17:49] Because every time we sing Country Roads, everybody. Ann Marie should do it. They're not going to let an elderly Canadian lady. Jan Arden could do it with her. Jan Arden could. And Terry Clark. And Terry Clark. Yeah. And I could have Harlan Williams. He could MC it. And he could come out and do five. When are they going to let a comedian do it? And who's going to be that person? Right. Never. It should be Bert Kreischer. Yes.

[00:18:18] Especially if Tampa makes it in. It should definitely be Bert. All right. I'm moving on. That, the halftime show. The game was just appalling. I mean, wonderful if you're an Eagle fan. Congratulations to the Eagles fans. I did think the Eagles were way better than anybody thought they were this year. And I do have the ultimate faith in Jalen Hurts. What? 19, say, that's what I'm saying. New kids on the block. Trumpeter Al Hurt. Trumpeter Al Hurt. Oh, God.

[00:18:48] Well, there was a thing, too. I think I've read it on this podcast. In the 50s, where they had a hot air balloon. And it wasn't. They were going to just let it go up and down the field. And then it flew away with a kid in it. And it landed in an icy river. Yeah, we talked about it. Okay. Yep. Ella Fitzgerald and Carol Channing. What year was that? 67?

[00:19:18] 72. What was 65? My birth. Oh, God. I'm older than the halftime shows. Holy shit. It should have been Earth, Wind, and Fire. Why not? Well, they probably weren't even a band by then. 65? Johnny Mathis. My dad would have loved it. And if you guys listen to this podcast enough, you know that I went to the farm where the

[00:19:48] Clydesdales live in, the Warm Springs Ranch. I went there at Christmas time with my nieces and nephews and sister and all that. And we met Jake, the horse that starred in the ad. Because he had just returned home from filming. He was out in Wyoming. Somewhere in Wyoming. And he's a shorty. And he's not too young. He's too short. And he'll never make the team. See? We get fucked all the time. Short people. We're invisible. No one cares about us. We are constantly run over.

[00:20:16] However, I am constantly having to buy expensive aisle seats if I want to attend something so I can take one step outside and see beyond the six-foot person in front of me. And sideline, taking my nephew down for the sideline was ridiculous. All I saw was people's backs. He got up there because he's little. And I'm like, well, I'm little. But they don't. I'm not a child. So nobody wants to let me go. Which is fine. I didn't care. I don't need to see the chiefs warm up. Whatever. But he was the star of the ad.

[00:20:46] And it was a wonderful ad. Because a lot of the other ads I didn't really. You cry a little bit. I cry every time. Every time. They are magical. I want to go work at Warm Springs Ranch. That's what I'm going to do. I bet they'll hire you. I bet they would hire me. Why not? I'll be the bartender in the VIP tent. I'm going to go live at the Lake of the Ozarks in that house that's almost ready. And then I'm going to retire and drive to Boonville every day. No. I only want to work three days a week.

[00:21:15] This is what old people come in with agendas. But unlike the young people, I have earned my right to say an agenda. And to come in and go, it's a take it or leave it deal. I can be here three days a week, eight hours a day. Great bartender. I'll work just for tips. Yeah. I don't even need your checks. Let's not do that. Cash only. Venmo me. How is your house? The house is great. What's your favorite stuff? The Ozark house.

[00:21:43] Well, my favorite thing is the builder, Mike. Well, and oh, here's the other thing. I have a tile guru named Kay. And I went in and brought a bunch of liquor because I find that to be very hard. I don't like picking shit out like that. She makes it so easy. And then I'm like, I'm not drinking alone. So she was like, okay. She had a glass of wine. No big deal.

[00:22:10] But she's an Iowa person that lives in Missouri now and has the greatest tile. Well, here's the problem for a Libra. You cannot put me in that store and expect me to make a decision. There's fucking, I don't know, like 20 bazillion. And I really, truly, at the end of the day, don't care. Just this house. I mean, I built it. I don't know. Little Doug would go, you want it like my bathroom? That's fine. Like, I just don't, I care about the layout a lot.

[00:22:39] That's where my Libra side comes in about I can't have weird walls. I need a giant open space. But once we've done that, would you like a waterfall over your island? I don't even know what that means. What the fuck does that mean? It means when the tile flows over and is the sidewall as well. I'm like, yeah. I thought it was a water treatment. No, it is not a water treatment. And then, as Doug, who built this house, said, you want one of them giant UFO showers.

[00:23:09] Yes, I want a giant UFO shower, whatever that means. So it was great to see Jake. Jake! Yeah, the shorty. He gets screwed all year. He can't be on a hitch. He's not big enough. Now he'll be there. But now he's a star. So see, short people, wait it out. Our times are coming. I feel it. Just wait it out. All right. I think that's all I got on that.

[00:23:37] The other ads I liked were the one with Catherine O'Hara. O'Hara. The pickleball one. Very funny. Because it's exactly what's happening to my brother. He's getting smoked by 60-year-olds every Monday. Funny. That one was funny. The seal one creeped me out. It's weird. It's weird. The other one where there are cowboy hats. The flesh. The flesh. Weird. No. The finance ones never are funny. No. You know, they don't even try. They just. Yeah.

[00:24:07] I don't know. I didn't really. There wasn't much else that I was like. I mean, the Post Malone one. With Shane. Fine. With Shane. Love Shane. Yeah. Fine. But funny, funny. And they're not writing them. They just show up and do whatever they're told. Peyton Manning's in there, too. Yeah. Peyton Manning. Yeah. Peyton Manning. I like Eli better. Just saying. Really? Mm-hmm. Can't say that to the season. He's quieter. He doesn't cause all the racket. Racket. Okay.

[00:24:37] Queen and King News. Who's here? Kitty. Stevie's been very quiet. And I hope she got to watch the Super Bowl. I don't know what she's doing. Cher. Very quiet. Jelly Belly. He's the first. This is from Research Assistant Bob. He joins America and Idol as the first ever artist in residence. He'll work closely with the Idol hopefuls, giving them firsthand advice on how to navigate the journey. Yeah. I didn't know we had those. I don't watch American Idol. Sorry.

[00:25:06] And I don't watch The Masked Singer. I should. It's my friend Ken. But I don't care. And what's the other one? There's another one. There's like on season five. The Voice. Yeah. I don't know. It's Kelsey Ballerini. It's Kelsey Ballerini. Well, I like that one song that she sings. It's a real sad little song. Very sad little number. She's happy now. She has a new boyfriend. Oh, she has a new boyfriend. Love it. Because that other one broke her heart. Well, good for her. Go for you. Bad divorce. Chapel. Dolly?

[00:25:36] Nothing. Chapel? Nothing. Tay Tay. Tom? By the way. Tom Brady, I think did do a very good job. He's improved. And you can have that level of excitement about the Super Bowl. It's just weird when he does it when it's the Jaguars and playing the Falcons. Yeah. Like, nobody cares. Whatever. But he did have on a $750,000 watch that everyone pointed out on social media. I'm like, Tom, really? It's also ugly. It's very ugly. Yeah.

[00:26:03] But, you know, with the guys, I think it's all about the bling and the whatever. But I don't know. Snoop's fine. Snoop was quiet. I didn't see anything out of Snoop. Snoop and Martha went to the Super Bowl together. Snoop and Martha went to the Super Bowl together? Well, that's adorable. Yeah. Her commercial was cute. Really cute. But it was a little too AI. You could tell. They should have just made her do it. Yeah. Try. Just try. She'd try. It'd be funnier. And then just give up. And say, I don't need to do this. I'm a billionaire. Because I have Skechers. Yeah.

[00:26:33] I have Skechers. I have a billion dollars. I have a new cat. Fuck off. Like, she doesn't need to be able to do a flip at 80 some odd years old. Yeah. Yeah. This is weird about the Vegas Super Bowl. I mean, the Super Bowl and Vegas. This is a very strange thing. Okay. I've never heard of this. I've been in Vegas for probably, over the years, three Super Bowls? Oh, fun. Just working at whatever, wherever I was working at. It also happened to be that weekend.

[00:27:03] And it's usually packed. And it's super fun. Like, if you want something different and fun to do on a Super Bowl, I would say go to Vegas. Because it's just all about it. And it's so, it's, you can hear in the casino. They turn that shit up. I mean, and now the sports screens are the size of houses and they're perfect. The city where everything is three times more expensive than everywhere else. Shocked that no one wants to come to it. So, that guy's being a little, you know, whatever.

[00:27:34] Vegas is practically empty with less than 48 hours until kickoff. High-ranking casino as the execs are baffled by the lack of Super Bowl tourism and people not coming in from different states. They're reportedly losing money multiple days this week. The strip is quieter than usual. Fremont Street, normally shoulder-to-shoulder, is eerily tamed. The crowd, not A-list. More like normies and budget travelers. I've never heard normies. Normies! I would be a normie. But, I mean, the hotel prices?

[00:28:02] Like, when I worked at the Mirage, my friend, Kana, who worked there, said, if you want to come back for the Super Bowl, I can get you a room. Because they were just impossible to get. And, you know, a regular room and here would be the rate. But the rate was not. My rate was different. But it was probably $250. But it could be up to $550 if, you know. Anyway, Caesars, $40. What? MGM Grand, $68. Oh, my God. I know. Whoa.

[00:28:31] The win was $188. It's usually $400. Yep. Yes, you can stay on the strip for two nights on Super Bowl weekend for under $150. Harrah's was like $16. Okay, I'm not doing that. No. What's behind the drop-off? Theories range from rising prices in Vegas and all-inclusive packages that aren't worth it to the economy, online sports betting, and a changing in political climate. Wow. I don't think politics has anything to do with it. No. No. Sports are sports. Yep.

[00:29:01] That's the beauty of it. Right. Mm-hmm. We're moving on. Update! That was loud. That was a good one. Sorry. Probably woke somebody's cat up. I just woke my own cat up. Blew my eardrums. Baby cat. This is specifically for you, paddles. Oh, boy. Buffy St. Marie. Oh, no. Oh, shit. I forgot to talk about what we're watching. I'll do that after update. Yeah. No, because it's so good. Okay.

[00:29:30] Buffy St. Marie. Uh-huh. She's the lady who said she was native and indigenous. It turns out she was a child of white people in Lake Buffalo or something. Yep. Not even Canadian. Huh? Not even Canadian. No. No. Well, her Order of Canada, that's the award, like the presidential medal. Yep. It was terminated by, quote, governor general. What's a governor general? It's a very high position in parliament. In parliament.

[00:29:59] Mm-hmm. Okay. It's important. I love that Canada, you kicked the Brits out, but you gave them one seat in parliament. You just can't ever just be, don't be nice. Just, no. Well, you'll give them one seat. No. Don't. Tell them to fucking go home. He's crying in blood for my sake. That's good. Well, she was anointed three decades ago, 1997. Federal government official publication posted the Friday, the notice Friday evening

[00:30:29] indicating that the governor general, Mary Simon, ordered the termination on January 3rd. The National Post first published a story. She's only the ninth person to be expelled from the Order of Canada. Nine people have? I want to know what the other eight did. Well, you, that's your job. You, you do the research on that one. Next week, I will. Next week? And we're going to find out who the Super Bowl performer was throughout the years. I know.

[00:31:26] All of the above. So I don't mind being dumped into the, that's fine. It's a great show. The investigation, which started in 2023, found that her birth certificate said she was born in 1941 in Massachusetts. Oh, I don't know why I said Buffalo. The document lists the baby and parents as white and includes a signature of an attending physician. Information CBC says it's corroborated by St. Marie's marriage certificate, a life insurance policy, and the United States census. It goes on and on.

[00:31:56] But she did benefit a lot from this fraudulent, but then she tries to say it doesn't matter. We're all just however you feel. You don't just get, no, because we're giving awards and money and all this shit based on that. Any Canadian can file a request to drop someone from the Order of Canada. You need to go on there and find somebody you don't like and drop them. I will, right? Get them dropped. No problem.

[00:32:26] That's fantastic. If the Deputy Secretary of Honors at Rideau Hall concludes there may be reasonable grounds for revoking the Honor, the complaint is sent to the Advisory Council, which makes a recommendation to the Governor General. The process could take more than a year. Buffy has not commented on this turn of events, which is a disaster. But she already got the money and the fame. And she's old. See how old she is. Google how old she is. Buffy.

[00:32:55] Buffy St. Marie. Well, she does. I don't know. Oh shit, she's 81. Oh, that's from 2022. She's 83. She's 83. She's about to be 84. She's about to be 84. Wow. Well, I'm sure financially she's probably fine. But for the history books, you got to do that. Older than Joni Mitchell. Oh my gosh. Okay. Before I do any updates, because I did do this out of order. Sorry.

[00:33:24] I was more with it today. I don't know what has happened to my brain. Episode two, Scamanda, Hulu. Great. Can't wait for Thursdays. I don't like this bullshit. I'm paying for Hulu. You show me all the episodes you have. Let me put a gun to your head. Well, it's on ABC too. I do not care. People that have ABC, feed them one a week. The Hulu people, we're paying for this shit. We're like rats with cocaine. Pay for it. Cocaine rats. Cocaine rats. Apple Cider Vinegar. Netflix.

[00:33:54] It's a show. It's about a lady in Australia, a young lady, who said she had brain cancer and all this shit. And then said she beat it by the whole wellness juicing craze. And that she didn't do any of that. Now, here's the crazy thing. It's sort of on the lines of Anna Delvey or Scamanda. It's another con artist. Belle Gibson. Belle Gibson is the woman's real name. Yes. It was all bullshit. The whole thing is bullshit.

[00:34:23] It's a great four or six episode show. You'll get suckered in. So clear your calendar. It's so everything about it. I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop. Then I even went down a further rabbit hole. And if you go to YouTube, she did an interview with 60 Minutes Australia that really sealed the deal of you're a psychopathic human and a pathological liar.

[00:34:52] Well, the lady that does the interview on 60 Minutes Australia, love this lady. Tara somebody. I don't know. But because unlike our people, Anderson Cooper, is this the way you feel? I get so frustrated with young people that go, well, my truth. No, you don't get your own. You do not get your own truth. Or unless we need to change the language, what wording we're using and change the language. There is a truth. There are facts. There are facts.

[00:35:22] Those facts represent the truth. If you tell me you were diagnosed with brain cancer and all this bullshit, show me one piece of proof. Anything. A hospital thing. Whatever. She didn't have any of that because none of it was fucking true. But this lady, she is a sociopath, a malignant artist. She's all of it. Like, she's so crazy. You just got to stop talking to her. I know Tara couldn't do that because she's doing an interview. She has to finish it. But, I mean, it's so fucking insane that you just go, okay. You're just so mentally ill.

[00:35:51] Like, I can't even deal. But there's no medication for that. There's no therapy for that. Like, she's a crazy person. Well, Tara, unlike our people, called her out on that and said, no, these are facts or they're not. It's not, you don't get, she doesn't even know how old she is. She was like, I feel, you don't get to feel your age. I would have, Tara kept it together. I would have lost my mind. I would have absolutely lost my mind and went, no.

[00:36:20] It's the same when Meghan Markle said, well, my truth, because Oprah started all that bullshit. You know, well, my truth. Okay, here's the thing. You went in a castle with a bunch of old white racist people. Not shocking. Did somebody say something? If so, who? And then let's do it. Instead of, well, you know. Oh, my truth. And I feel like these things were said. Oh, my God. This is, I feel like that Tara lady might have been a lawyer also, maybe, because her questions were so good.

[00:36:49] And you could just see the wheels spinning on this bell chick. So if you want to watch Apples of the Sider Vinegar and then go, go to 60 Minutes Australia. Oh, yeah. It really brings the whole thing in a giant. I'll put it in the schnotes. Yeah, we'll put it in the schnotes. It was so good. Because you watch the show first, though. Watch the show first, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. And then the 60 Minutes Australia, I don't know, we zoomed through the commercials. It's only like 35, 40 minutes. Easy peasy.

[00:37:16] But that's the newest thing that I swallowed up. And Scamanda, I have to wait till flipping Thursday. I can't. You can't do it. You can't give rats cocaine. No. And then take the cocaine away. It's just not nice. Update. Moving on. The Jets. I love it. I love it. So great. And I can't believe that it actually, this is what they should do. 100%. Aaron Rodgers flew from the West Coast to go to the meeting to meet with the Jets,

[00:37:45] which I'm sure he thought he was going to tell them what draft picks they needed to pick. And boom. Bombshell, Aaron. We don't want you anymore. Right. Gone. Yep. Now, now. And then here in Nashville, they're like, wouldn't it be great if the Titans? No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't want, no. He's a cancer in the locker room. He's old. He's, no. This is not how you build. Green Bay must feel better. Green Bay should feel better. Yeah.

[00:38:14] And Jordan Love is just fine. Yep. I would take him in a hot minute. He's just fine. Yep. Well, Aaron's not going to like either that the story came out like this. Because it's Super Bowl Sunday. They dropped you. You didn't say I'm walking. And I'm sure he'll reframe this because he's another one in the narcissist bucket. This will all get reframed. Yep. That he flew back there to tell them he was quitting, which is complete bullshit. Right. And every reporter that's worth a shit has already said no. Right.

[00:38:42] Speaking of sports, this is an update. This is going to make me want to lead a life of crime. Oh, good. Shohei Otani. Mm-hmm. Greatest. One of the greatest baseball players that's probably ever lived in my generation. He plays for the Dodgers if you don't follow baseball. Yeah. He's Japanese. Like his English isn't quite there yet. And he has Japanese interpreters and money guys. He's 30. He's 30. He's a cancer. He's 30? Shohei? Yeah. Huh. July 5th.

[00:39:12] I don't know why I thought he was younger. No. Okay. Yep. Well, his former interpreter. He looks 12. He stole $17 million from Shohei's bank account. Mm-hmm. Now, as everyone in the sports world first commented when this story comes out, why does your interpreter have access to your bank account? Right. Little weird. Because then I was like, maybe Shohei is telling him, hey, take some money, go bet on these games.

[00:39:40] Well, the whole, even if that was true, the MLM Major League Baseball is never going to let that come out. He's their new, he's the new Babe Ruth. We can't have him. And I'm not saying he did that. Right. But it's weird. Allegedly. That your interpreter, Hideki Matsuyama is a golfer. No. He's Japanese. He's my hero because he just says he doesn't speak English, so he never has to do any interviews, which I think is the smartest thing possible.

[00:40:06] But when he did win the Masters, they were like, there's these two old white guys sitting in a chair to interview Hideki, and then they're like, here's his interpreter, and it's an old white guy. Yeah. Like a Southern guy. Mm-hmm. Like, you know, he's talking like this, and then he hung up. Then he just goes straight, and I'm like, whoa, whoa. That was like judo. I did not see that coming. That was some Billy Jack shit right there. That's funny. Which, by the way, by Fred Rod White. What's Billy Jack?

[00:40:34] Billy Jack was a movie. Billy. And I accused Rod of having a Billy Jack hat. I'm like, what are you? I don't know what you're talking about. It's on YouTube. Billy Jack? Yeah. He's like a Vietnam vet, and he comes back. He's young still, and he's disgruntled, and he goes to a Native American reservation and hangs out with them because he likes them better than the white people, and there's a whole tiny town full of bigots. And eventually, he just beats them all up. It's just a wonderful 70s feel-good movie. Oh, good.

[00:41:04] Because you feel like you're beating up the right people, and Billy Jack's super cool, and he rides a motorcycle, and he doesn't put up with shit. I had a Billy Jack poster. Of course you did. Of course I did. And a mash poster. Oh, I had a Planet of the Apes trash can because they didn't make a Billy Jack trash can, but I accused Rod of having a Billy Jack hat, and he went completely crazy and said that it is not a Billy Jack. So then I went and found pictures of the hat online, and I still think it looks like that. Anyway, I don't know why.

[00:41:32] I'm just saying, so he stole $17 million, this interpreter. Thursday, he was sentenced to nearly, not all, nearly five years in prison. That's it? I mean, you're going to make a lot of people think. If I could steal $17 million and only, he doesn't even have to go all five years. Nearly. Right. And if good behavior, you'll get out probably six months before that. Crazy.

[00:42:01] And if you already spent it or you hit it, you've got to hide it. You've got to hide it. Well. He's supposed to pay $18 million back in restitution. He gambled it. I would just say I gambled it. I don't have it. Terrible gambler. Well, he's a terrible, yeah, he's a horrible gambler. Yeah, that's awful. And that Shohei, where's your money manager at that level? You have a money manager. Right. Why doesn't he know? Oh, shit. We're missing $17 million.

[00:42:34] Shohei, did you go to Las Vegas and bet on the St. Louis Cardinals? The guy said he's truly sorry for what he's done. He's prepared to be punished for it. Yeah, gambling debts and debts with an illegal bookmaker, in addition to $325,000 worth of baseball cards and his own dental bills. Oh, he got his teeth fixed. Oh, that's nice. Good for him. What am I going to do with $17 million? Well, I need a crown right back here, and I should get an implant.

[00:43:05] Here's another update. This is kind of sad. Oh. I know. No. It's a Banksy thing. So in London, it's a picture of a goat, like a mountain goat, and then there's rocks falling down. He's on top of the mountain, right? Well, they removed it from the building. Local residents have been left heartbroken after the iconic image of the goat perched on top of the wall was taken down by the workmen over the last week.

[00:43:29] The artwork had been sprayed to the side of a gun factory building near Kew Gardens last month, or last August. The building's owners decided to remove the art for refurbishment works essential for the long-term future of the property. So they're saying the building's falling apart. No. And you know what? I know it's not in a popular place, but these people are like, that's why people come here, though. Right. Like, I went, looked in Park City. It's part of the fun. You got to go find it. Yeah. It's not just sitting in a museum somewhere.

[00:44:00] Somebody said, it's not just an attraction here. It gives you a smile every time you go past. Every time I go past, there's this nice feeling that we see our Banksy here. The spray-painted goat has been one of the series of animals, another gorilla, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, they say they're going to bring it back. No, they're not. No, they're not. We all know that shit. Nope. Nobody believes you anymore. Mm-hmm. Holy shit, they found two really good ones. Yeah.

[00:44:26] Hidden trail cameras captured footage of South America's largest mammal once believed to be extinct. Oh. This reflects the importance of the protected. See, because I read a lot of these, and I find a lot, but I don't read them on the podcast because it's like some tiny lizard. Mm-hmm. It's always in some South American or Thailand. Yeah, like it just, yeah. Well, this is substantial. Okay. It's the South American taper.

[00:44:55] I had to Google how to say it. Yeah, T-A-P-I-R. T-A-P-I-R. It hasn't been spotted in over 100 years. Wow. They were sure they were gone. It was considered extinct in Brazil's coastal region. Scientists were happy to be proven wrong. It was a recording of a trail cam of a female South American taper and her calves. Wow. The taper, it's kind of ugly. Oh. It's not a cute little thing. He looks like a rhinoceros plus an anteater. He's just a hot mess. She's a hot mess. Yeah.

[00:45:25] They're not cute. It's known, though, as the gardener of the forest because the herbivore plays a vital role in the ecosystem, scattering seeds and fruits while eating fruits and leaves. Hunting, urbanization, deforestation led to the taper's decline and the inclusion on the endangered species list. Wow. It was last seen in the Costa Verde region in 1914. Whoa. Yep. That's why I love trail cams. Just crazy shits out there. That's fun.

[00:45:54] So yay for that. I mean, and it's a nice thing. It just gardens the forest. Right. Right. Good. We didn't kill them all. I like it. Here's a little stop if you're a surfer or a swimmer. The largest shark ever tagged by research. They've named it Contender swimming off North Florida. That sounds like a boxer. Yep. It's the largest male. O-Search. Spotted in Florida waters. They tagged it Contender. It's 13.8 feet long.

[00:46:24] Whoa. Females get bigger. Females can get up to 20. Isn't it? Yep. I didn't know that. The female sharks are the actual jaws. Oh, wow. Yeah. But this thing weighs 1,653 pounds. It's a true ocean giant. It was spotted about 45 miles off the coast of southern Georgia. Since then, Contender has swum about 168 miles moving further out to sea and swimming towards North Florida. Chomp. Chomp. Boom. Yep.

[00:46:53] Oh, he was swimming off the waters of St. Augustine. Oh. Yeah, they got him. Yeah, you should see the picture of it. We'll put it in the schnotes. Crazy. It's crazy. Um... Hey, now we see. Yeah. Up by Jacksonville. So it's North. Yeah. It's Narf. By Jarja. By Jarja. Uh... Here's a little... One more thing about the NFL. Okay. They're gonna play a game in Dublin. So fun. In 2025. Yep. It's gonna be...

[00:47:21] So they say, the Steelers and the Packers. Oh, that'd be fun. I would wanna go just to see if the Packers can drink... Fans can drink all the beer in Dublin. And they can. And then you put the Pittsburgh people on top of it, too. Yeah. And both fun... Yeah. Uh... Fan bases. Yeah, I like them both. Yep. Um... But I'd also just like to go... I like to go to Green Bay to see a Packers fan base. I like to go to a Pittsburgh game. A home game. Because my friend Bill Crawford always says he can take me right on the field. He's on the radio.

[00:47:51] Radio guy. Yeah. And I think I better do that before we die. Um... That's... That's where Roger Goodell, in the spirit of growing the game... It's bullshit. We're not growing the game. No. He just... No. He gets paid. He gets paid. Right. It's all pocketed. They're the mob. Um... Yeah. Let's talk about Santorini for a minute. Okay. Okay. The entire island has been... Moving on to news. Yeah, we're moving on to news. Okay. Um...

[00:48:19] The entire island has been evacuated for the most part. And I don't feel like anyone's really talking about it. Like, I'm finding it on TikTok. There are swarms and swarms and swarms of earthquakes. It's like the drones. And it's gonna... The drones have gone away on TikTok. What happened to that? Right. I don't know. Mm-hmm. Instagram's name. It's an earthquake swarm. This could last for months. This is what it says. So, when these people leave... Well... When are we supposed to come back? Right. It's like the Iceland thing.

[00:48:48] I don't understand where you expect people to just relocate to. Right. Jobs, families, old people, sick people, pets. This is crazy. They've declared... Greece's government has declared a state of emergency on the island of Santorini as earthquakes shake up the island multiple times a day and sometimes only minutes apart. The earthquake swarm is also affecting other nearby islands in the Aegean Sea.

[00:49:14] It began gradually with numerous very minor, meaning less than a three, and mostly earthquakes in late January. However, at the start of February, it's intensified. They became larger and more frequent. But, like, there could be, like, a ten. Wow. And then the island... I mean, the island only exists because of a volcano to begin with. Right. So... It's beautiful. Maybe Mother Nature's gonna take it back. Seven... Several thousand quakes have been recorded in the last two weeks. Wow.

[00:49:41] As many as 30 a day have been above a 4.0. You will feel that. Yeah. Yeah. Anything over a 4, you're gonna feel. It won't necessarily be terrifying, but... It's weird. Right. One time I thought I was hungover in L.A. and I just fell... I slipped or fell... It was an earthquake, but I was like, am I that hungover? Oh, my God. Usually a popular tourist destination. It's now virtually empty. Over the past week, some 11,000 holidaymakers and locals have left the island.

[00:50:10] And then there's pictures of the island. People... There are people still there. Not many, but, like, hospital people, it's all like that. Which, why? Because there ain't gonna... There's not gonna be anybody, probably. It's spooky as all get out. I just don't understand why this should be... This should be a lead on the news. All of the news. Yeah. I don't know. I guess the whole thing's just gonna be a giant earthquake, and then what? Yeah. Followed by... They also said there's, like, volcanic activity going on. Oh, God.

[00:50:40] Mm-hmm. That's gonna be fun. Yeah. Not really that much fun for everybody that's left behind. There's no global... I can't... I can't sit in my... No science. ...bars and explain to people that global warming doesn't mean it's always going to be warmer. How many drunks do I have to explain that to? And I flunk science. You are getting your information from a lady at a bar who flunked science, but I do know that. Right. I have some more Miller Lite. Here's a...

[00:51:10] Here's something I would love to go to. Okay. Ozzy Osbourne. Oh, boy. Final show of Black Sabbath. Oh! That's my white North County coming out. Okay. I love Ozzy Osbourne. You got it. You got it. But if you listen to Black Sabbath now, they were considered, like, death metal back then, and now they sound like John Denver compared to the actual death metal that's going on. You got to explain North County. North County, well, in St. Louis, the South County people make fun of us because they kind

[00:51:38] of think we're hardcore, like, white. I don't... We're not redneck. It'd be, like, street people. Street people. I guess. You got them street redneck. Yeah, we're a little harsh. Yeah. Baby shoe Madigan. Smoking, drinking. Yeah. That's where baby shoe Madigan side comes out. That's where... It's just an ongoing thing in St. Louis. Even if somebody's from South County, because then we call them more of the redneck key ones, it'll be your South County's coming out or your North County's coming out.

[00:52:04] But, you know, driving around in my Camaro listening to Crazy Train smoking cigarettes, yeah, that's my North County side. I like it. Ozzie admitted he can't walk as he prepares for his final show. A 76-year-old metal legend has been battling degenerative disorder Parkinson's disease since 2019 and the conditions affect his mobility, but he's determined to reunite with his band members. One last hometown show. Where? Birmingham, Alabama. What?

[00:52:33] Birmingham, as they said. What? I mean, England. Sorry, England. Yeah. Birmingham. Yeah. So you have to go back to his hometown. Tickets would probably be very hard to get. He said, I can't walk, but you know what I was thinking over the holidays? For all my complaining, I'm still alive. I may be moaning that I can't walk, but I look down the road and there's people that didn't do that half as much as me and didn't make it. That's true. That's nice. That's a good attitude.

[00:53:05] I mean, it sucks that you can't walk that good. Even on the last award show I saw him on, they put him out on his throne. Times have changed. Mama, I'm coming home. It's a great song. So great. Yeah. I don't know as many as a real Black Sabbath fan would know. No. For sure. More of a bandwagon top 10 hit lady on that one. The mixtape. Speaking of music. Yeah, the mixtape lady. If anybody cares, I'm sure you should care. This will be a fun night out.

[00:53:34] Kelly Clarkson announces new Las Vegas residency at the Coliseum at Caesars. Cool. Yeah. And you know what? She actually has a shitload of shows that actually is a residency. These people that do three nights. I mean, shit. Then I did a thousand residencies in Funny Bones and Improvs for 15 years. She's there like a hundred times in July, August, a bunch, and then November too. Fun. So if you're a Kelly fan, get your ass out there.

[00:54:05] Caesars. I haven't been in the Coliseum in a hot minute. I wonder if they've done any updating. It's fine. I think that's where Adele was. I think she made them make some upgrades. Remember the whole sound system fight? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was a thing. But she was probably right. And they don't want to spend the money. And you know what? You're a casino. You have all the money. Let's do it. You have all the money. You have all of Kathleen's money.

[00:54:33] This is hilarious to me. Controversial study shows rats prefer jazz to classical music when on drugs. Jazz to me. And I know it's because I don't get it. It sounds like eight people playing different songs at the same time. I can't. I don't get it. I don't love it. I don't. It makes. I always feel like somebody just got murdered. I appreciate it. Well, I appreciate Miles Davis. Yeah.

[00:55:03] Yeah, I get that it's difficult. Mm-hmm. But do I get it? No. Somebody dragged me once in Los Angeles to the Hollywood Bowl to see Miles Davis' Seasons of Spain. Oh. I wouldn't even know what that is. I didn't either. I had to Google it. Yeah. I was just looking forward to sitting outside and having a hot dog. And then, I mean, I was really struggling to stay awake. Mm-hmm. It was, it's, and he's from St. Louis. So I support Miles Davis.

[00:55:29] Rats prefer the sound of silence to Beethoven and Miles Davis, except when they are on drugs. They prefer the jazz. The results, these are the results of a, it's a study that was done before and then they redid it and it's still true. Scientists exposed 36 rats to Fur Elsie by Beethoven and Four, a brassy jazz standard by Miles Davis.

[00:55:55] The rats overwhelmingly preferred Beethoven to Davis, but they like silence the best. Me too, if those are my choices. Well, maybe Beethoven. It's a bad, I don't hate classical music, but in a second, they were given cocaine, the second experiment. Oh. And they played Miles Davis over a period of a few days. After that, the rodents preferred the jazz, even when the drug was out of their system.

[00:56:21] So maybe you need to learn it and immerse yourself. On cocaine. Well, yeah. Where am I going to get cocaine? The last time I was offered cocaine, it was called Stardust by a man at a gas station next to Graceland. Hey, Red, you want some Stardust? I'm like, let me look at my Urban Dictionary and see what you're offering. I Googled it. I'm like, oh, he's got the coke up. Yeah. I'm like, nope, just here for a diet coke and some gas. Just a bottle of coke. I'm good.

[00:56:50] Rats can be conditioned to like any music associated with their drug experience. Oh, wow. Yeah. Maybe I should ask my little friend Dorf if that's why you're a deadhead. Is it because you eat mushrooms? Probably. Maybe. Probably. I'm not on drugs at Stevie Nicks. No. I'm not on drugs at Chapel Rome. You're on endorphins. Just high. I just can't. High on drugs for Stevie. Animal rights groups did not approve of this because we gave the rats cocoa. They got the cocaine. Mm-hmm.

[00:57:21] I mean, I don't know. What about, don't they have like rat nip? Like they have cat nip? I call it cocaine. It's not cocaine. It's cat nip. They should have rat nip. Instead of making them, don't coke them up. If it could kill them. Well, I don't know. People are mad about the study. I think it's funny. And the picture they put on here, it's a rat and he's got a tiny saxophone. Oh. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

[00:57:49] Speaking of fancy music, a Stradivarius violin. Okay. There's only so many left in the world. Mm-hmm. It was made in 1714. Okay. It sold for $11.3 million at the auction. Whoa. Yeah. Cool. The master Lutherio Antonio Stradivari crafted the instrument in Cremona, Italy for his so-called golden period from 1700 to 1720. Oh, my God. It's one of the highest prices ever fetched for a musical interest, according to Sotheby's,

[00:58:19] which conducted the auction. Cool. The seller will use his money to establish a larger student scholarship fund in New England conservatory's history. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. They placed the initial value at $12 to $18 million. Bidding halted at $10. The final price includes the fees. Look at Sotheby's. Yeah. Ticket master. Stop it. Yeah. Stop it. I wonder what this guy's going to do with it. I don't know. That's awesome. Right.

[00:58:48] What if you don't even play it? I'd be afraid to play it. What if it broke? They're so pretty. Yeah. Well, there you go. $11 million if you want it. I'm good. Are they that much better? Are there any termites that play the violin? Is it worth it? Oh, my God. This is so great. The Chinese zoo people are at it again. Oh, my God. I saw this. Oh. They painted the dogs before it to look like panda bears.

[00:59:16] And I got to say, in comparison to what's occurring now, the pandas were pretty good. Yeah. And now they've painted dogs to look like tigers. Yeah. I mean, it's so bad. It's so bad. I kind of would want to go to see it. Like, they're not like a normal tiger orange. No. It looks like this orange. Yeah. It's way too orange. Tony the tiger orange. Yeah. It's obviously a dog.

[00:59:44] The animals at the Quinn Who Bay Forest Kingdom barely resembled the fierce feline, and viewers online were not so easily duped. Okay. Well, you can't. Somebody wrote, wait, isn't that just a dog? Yes, you're right. There's no reason to put a question mark. Mm-hmm. They definitely don't dare to bathe their dogs for fear of discoloration. A big tiger with a dog-like temper.

[01:00:08] Last year, the same zoo dyed its dogs to mimic that of pandas, even chafing their fluff to look like the bamboo-eating bears. When asked why the zoo does it, there are no panda bears at the zoo, and we wanted to do this as a result. When they faced the backlash, they said, it's fine. They won't do it anymore, but they've done it. I mean, my question is, why do you have dogs at a zoo to begin with? Right. It's a dog. It looks like a chow.

[01:00:38] They're all chows. It's a chow of some sort. Mm-hmm. You guys got to see the pictures. That's insane. Visitors demanded refunds. I wouldn't. You can keep my 28 bucks. They're in the... It's funny. They're in your video. You're not supposed... Oh, right. You're not supposed to, but you did it. Mm-hmm. This is a crazy little story. TJ...

[01:01:08] Okay, so the tariffs. Okay. Not getting political here. I'm just telling you about the economy. Canadians are getting political. Canadians are getting very political. I know, but there's still really funny videos. Great videos. Yeah. They still have a sense of humor about it. So... Oh, I was going to do this during my jazz rats cocaine story. I wonder if I did cocaine if I would like jazz then. Probably not. We could try it. We just can't film it. I don't know where to get cocaine anymore.

[01:01:36] If you work at a restaurant, you always know. Right. For 100 years when I worked in restaurants and bars, I always knew who had the coke. True. But I didn't. It wasn't my thing. I was just a beer lady. What is that? That's a sheep. You got a new one? It's a screaming sheep. Yeah. Cool. I haven't named it yet. I don't know. A screaming sheep. Yeah. Ready? Yep. Oh. There you go. Well, baby cat doesn't like it. She doesn't like it. No.

[01:02:06] Well, when I Googled tapers, they make this crazy ass noise. She went and she was sound asleep. She doesn't usually react to any noises. She doesn't care, but she cared about this. Anyway. So the tariffs. Yep. On all the incoming stuff, whatever, whatever, whatever. It's going to hurt most stores, but one store will not be affected. Happens to be one of my favorite stores. Clothing store? Dick's Sporting Goods.

[01:02:36] It is not Dick's Sporting Goods. No. Golf Galaxy. No, not Golf Galaxy. Okay. Their clothes aren't bad. The women's are bad. TJ Maxx. Oh, great. Yep. Nice. Here's the deal. U.S. retailers have been stockpiling clothing, furniture, and other goods to get ahead of Trump's tariffs kicking in and raising their costs. That's created a perfect scenario for TJ Maxx. And it's not because the company is selling all American goods.

[01:03:02] Tariffs are placed on imported goods designed to protect domestic manufacturers from foreign competition. Companies that import products may pay the taxes and typically pay pass their cost onto us, the consumer. Trump has enacted a 10% across the border Chinese tariff as of Tuesday morning. He also ordered 25% on Canadian goods, but he delayed that. But I think they went into action again, right? They did. Yep.

[01:03:29] TJ Maxx gains an advantage from the inventory pile because unlike most retailers, the company only imports a small percentage of its merchandise directly from factories overseas because they're not getting the brand. They're getting the extra. Yep. Yeah. TJ Maxx relies on buying mostly designer brands, excess merchandise from them. Much of it's already been imported and then selling it to customers from anywhere to $20,000, $60,000 below regular prices.

[01:03:54] And since the tariff is only paid once, TJ Maxx will not have to pay it because they're buying the overruns. Exactly. Yeah. So now you know. See what you've learned? Me doing the work of the Lord, you're going to go to TJ Maxx and know that you're not. This tariff has nothing to do with you. Right. Go get you whatever you want, TJ Maxx. Nobody here will ever see you. I'm still trying to manifest Big Lots becoming a total wine. And if it can't, can it become a TJ Maxx? I don't know why my little area gets skipped so much, but we do. I don't like it.

[01:04:24] You don't like TJ Maxx? No, I don't like Big Lots. No, Big Lots. I don't understand it. I don't get it. Another little thing. This kind of just made me sad. This is mostly for my Texas termites. Alamo Beer Company, a San Antonio-based brewer, has filed for Chapter 11 in the latest struggles for alcohol sellers. And it's the problem because the craft beer industry is in trouble because they think there's too many craft beers. It's a lot.

[01:04:51] But I did love everything the Alamo Beer Company put out. Loved it. It's not a tiny little place. I mean, it's not like, you know, some of my friends are like, I'm going to create a craft beer in my basement. Okay, well, no one's buying that. Right. They plan to recapitalize, restructure, and return stronger. It's been going on since 2003. Yeah, it's a great beer. Is that the one that had number of those?

[01:05:20] I don't know if it had the whole top that came off. I know what you're talking about. The whole lid of the thing just, I don't know. Those are cool. So, sorry about that, Texas. Maybe they will regroup. I don't know. But the problem is there's too many craft beers to choose from. So, I mean, God, the ones that termites you guys are bringing me, they're bazillions. They're all great.

[01:05:44] But, I mean, how much can you, you know, I don't know how much you can be expected to keep coming up with these things. There's only a certain amount everybody's going to buy. Unless you fall in love with that one craft beer and you go, this is my new beer. Otherwise, I think people are drinking, I don't know, regular, every day in the grocery store beers. Bud Light. Yeah. Bud Light, Miller Light, McUltra. I mean, those are all old A and B products.

[01:06:11] But I have a feel-good story that's very nice. Nice. Yes. And who knew? Because, I don't know, people don't really talk about Michael Jordan anymore. No? No. I never heard a lot of nice things. I just ignored it because he was so awesome to watch play. I just don't really want to know what they're doing. I only want to know if it's something good. If it's something bad, I'd prefer just not hear it.

[01:06:37] His son got in a little trouble because he said, I'm Michael Jordan's kid. A little drinky, a little drivey, maybe a little druggy there, too. Anyway, in good news, feel-good, Michael Jordan celebrates the opening of New North Carolina Health Clinic after $10 million donation. This is his third one. Wow. Okay. Good man.

[01:07:01] Yeah, and he was in attendance for the grand opening, and he looks like his old adorable self. He said he's truly inspired by the many powerful stories of the people who are now thriving thanks to the clinics. He celebrated the clinic. It'll include medical opportunities for individuals who are uninsured or underinsured. Everyone is worthy of access to equal quality health care. That's great.

[01:07:29] No matter where you live or if you have insurance, Jordan said. Truly inspired. Three now. That's amazing. That's crazy. You can just go in here without insurance and someone will help you. That's awesome. Yeah. That's really cool. Because before insurance was a thing, like I would say to my parents, well, if you didn't have medical insurance back in the 50s, they had life, fire, and home. Like car. Or, but medical, my dad said, well, they gave you a bill and you just paid it. Right. But the bill wasn't crazy. It was reasonable.

[01:07:58] It was a normal, or you made a payment plan. Right. I think Rocky Laporte, if he was telling me the truth, and I think he was, had one of his kids on layaway. What? Yeah, he didn't have any money. And like you pay, you pay a certain amount. And then as you're going along, you pay your money. And then when the kid's born, you got to pay the rest to get it out. And I'm like, I said, you probably should just leave it for a month. And then you get a one month year old. It's a lot easier than a newborn. That's crazy.

[01:08:27] Yeah, I got that one on layaway kit. I'm like, oh, okay. So that's a little feel good. Good for Michael. And they've provided more than 9,000 patients with visits last year. This is in Wilmington. Wilmington's one of my favorite cities in North Carolina. So cool. Yeah. And then I met some termites that were from there, and they invited me to their house and a restaurant. And I'm like, well, I'm kind of busy this weekend.

[01:08:57] But people don't know. I will show up just when you least expect it. And I'm going to knock on the door. And there's a lot of golf out there for me to collect when I'm retired. And I'm going to show up and go, well, Bob the termite told me I could totally golf here. So what happened to that? It better be true. Before we go to our quotes, and I found a funny saint one. Durham. Just a few shout outs from Tammy and Anthony. Grow a Bigfoot. I'll be doing that. Fun. Yep.

[01:09:26] And then there's Stevie Nicks Gold Dust Woman Candle from Carolyn. Excellent. So thank you. Very excited to go to Florida. How lucky am I that it's going to be nice out? You're going to have some fun. Warm. Who's your opener? Opener is the beer monster, Michael Somerville. Oh, boy. Yeah. He has a new baby. So he probably. Is already there? He might already be there. Yeah. And just paying for his own shit.

[01:09:52] And yeah, I'll get down there and I'll see him already in a chair by the pool. That's funny. This saint one made me laugh. Hold on. Okay. Okay. We're learning about saints for all you non-Catholics. That's my joke bothering Jesus from Netflix. When I say we're not allowed to contact Jesus directly, you have to contact the saint that's in charge of your problem. And then you deal with that level. Right. You don't keep going until something hasn't happened.

[01:10:24] Saint Lidwina. She lived from 1380 to 1433. Okay. Her feast day is April 14th. I loved feast days because we always got off. And I didn't even get, we were off school. I didn't even care whose feast it was. Nope. Here's who she's, this is. You should explain that to the non-Catholics. To the non-Catholics? What are feast days? Well, we celebrate that saint. Right. And that's called the feast day of, say, Saint Lidwina, who I'd never heard of. Most of these people I've never heard of.

[01:10:52] I only know the generics. It's fun though. Christopher's in travel and Anthony's for lost items. Mm-hmm. But I also think if you're Saint Anthony, you're like, wait. So for eternity, I just have to find people's fucking car keys? Could I get a better assignment? Like, no, no, no. Anything that's lost, you're in charge of. But it always worked, I gotta say. It would be like a panic. My parents couldn't find the car keys or something where we gotta go and we were the goddamn keys

[01:11:21] and then we'd just appraise it and then they'd show up. There it worked. I'm not against it. Well, Saint Lidwina, here's her assignment. Ice skaters and the chronically ill. Okay, let's hold up, Papa. Oh, wow. Let's hold up on that. One or the other. I can't be in charge of ice skating. Right. And everybody that's chronically ill? Everyone. Well, she accepted it. That's crazy. She was born in Holland. Lidwina is known as a Dutch mystic.

[01:11:51] She was chronically ill and bedridden most of her life. At 15, while ice skating, she fell and broke a rib. The rib never healed and festered for the rest of her life as she slowly became paralyzed. Whoa. Okay. Yeah. She is the first documented case of multiple sclerosis. She fasted in prayer for most of her life, escaping her physical suffering through her guardian angel who regularly visited her and took her on journeys that she said were to paradise. Mine does not visit. No. I'm going to have to have to speak with her. No.

[01:12:21] I don't even know my name of my guardian angel. That's terrible. In her lifetime, she was known in her village for her fasting and holiness. Her grave became a place of pilgrimage. In 1434, a chapel was built over it. That's insane. And the prayer you're supposed to say is, Holy Santa Lidwina, may I move with grace and poise as I glide upon this ice. That's hard. It's very northern. Maybe we could. Maybe. Yeah. No shit.

[01:12:51] That should be a Canadian saint. They should have given. Minnesota. Yeah. Minnesota. Well, she's Dutch. Pennsylvania. Yeah. All right. We're going to do a quote from Cher and then the Queen. Oh, wow. No, let's do the Queen first. You have to. Let's do the Queen. Okay. She's always so serious. Very.

[01:13:23] Not lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice, but I can do something else. I can give my heart and my devotion to these old islands and all the peoples of our brotherhood of nations. Oh, wow. Huh. Nice. Yeah. She's just saying I don't have any power anymore. True that. Sorry, dipshits. If you're looking for me to settle your argument, I ain't the lady. Later, get her. I need power. She's on the money.

[01:13:52] Uh, yeah, she is on the money. Um, okay. So Cher said this at a United Rally speech in 2017. I'm an elitist libtard whose grandmother picked cotton, whose mother sang in bars when she was eight years old during the depression. I want to tell you who I am so I can tell you what to believe. Oh. Huh. Okay. All right. Well, there you have it.

[01:14:22] Yeah, very intense. Cher. It's probably some political rally where she's getting all geared up and psyched up. Yeah. All right, termites. What are you going to do in Florida? In Florida? Mm-hmm. Here's the great thing. Okay. I, I'm going to go down there Thursday and then I'm going to just go outside and be outside because it's 80 something degrees. I haven't felt that. And it's right now raining. And this is going to be freezing rain sooner than later. It's not going to be good here.

[01:14:51] No, it's not going to be good here. It's not good in Missouri. The kids are already, they're already going to call off school. Like. Really? Yeah. Well, down here they'll do it a week in advance. Y'all, it's supposed to be snow next Friday. So we're just going to close starting now. And it's like the following, the previous Wednesday. Do it. Yeah. Snow, ice. Because then the following week I have to go to Davenport and Minneapolis. So I'm going to freeze my ass off. It's going to be fun. My friend, Dory, just went up there.

[01:15:21] She's up there for Marriott meetings. And it was nine when she landed in Minnesota. Nine. Yeah. So I love both of those gigs. I'm excited. But I am tired of wearing long underwear everywhere I go. You can't be in there. I'm going to go find shorts and a t-shirt. And I have a new floppy hat. And I'm just going to go by the pool. I don't know, big beach walk. Go look for a contender. He's not that far south, though, the shark. No. He's up north.

[01:15:52] I'm excited. Bojos are sold out. So, yeah, stay warm wherever you're at if you're in the cold areas. Because it's going to be a crazy week. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. I know. I didn't even really realize that. I was amazed when people bought tickets to Louis' show on Valentine's Day. Oh, wow. I'm like, you're really mad.

[01:16:19] Like, this is supposed to be a happy, fun, loving night out. And you bought tickets to Louis' book. No. Not happening. That's, yeah. That's more of a Ray Romano night, I'd say. Yeah. Somebody who talks about, yeah, relationship, love, loving his wife.