Episode 212: Garage Sale People, Super Bowl Gambling & The Hunt for La Pistolera

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on. Termites, welcome. Welcome from Stevie. It's Episode 212. How exciting is that? The pub is open. Yay!

[00:00:35] Well, so many things. So many fun things. Fun, fun, fun. What are we drinking? A little something from Long Island, Jones Beach. It's called Bathhouse Blonde and it's called Air Show. It's a delicious little beer. Yeah. The Beer Monster Michael Somerville was opening the shows this weekend. This coming weekend I believe it is Aaron Weber. Is that right? Aaron Weber was just on Jimmy Fallon last night. Very proud of him. Did a wonderful little job.

[00:01:02] He released a special. And he released a special on the YouTube. Uh huh. On the Magic YouTube. So if you want to go see A-A-R-O-N Aaron Weber and he will be with me this weekend in Durham. How exciting is that? We've added a second show. Yay! In Durham. That's a five o'clocker. We're trying something new. No, no, no. See if any... Oh, it's not. Oh, no. It's a separate day. It's a separate day. Right. That's South Carolina. Sorry if I freaked anybody out coming to Durham. What? No, those shows are at a normal time. I don't know.

[00:01:32] Eight. Eight. That's the normal time. But anyway, so that's what we're drinking and what are we tasting? Well, in Long Island, Huntington, New York. If you like... I never understand Long Island really with the rich houses because I don't even... You can't even see them. But like Huntington's a great little town. Yeah. And it's normal people. Like I love Tarrytown, but I felt like it was richer, like kind of very, very rich. And Huntington, I just feel like it's normal Joe Blows. Yeah.

[00:01:59] And all the guys that work there, guys and girls, um, backstage are so much fun. It's just like walking into a comedy club green room where there's fun people and you can't wait to see them. I haven't seen them in a year and a half. And all they want to do is talk about hockey. I want your blues, honey. Your blues, your blues are just not so good. I know. I know. And then Sean, the one guy goes, thank God for the uniforms, for the winner classic. They took that blue note. I never really... I'm like, oh my God, that's my favorite logo in sports. And he's just so happy that he took it off.

[00:02:28] But while I did let the boys get into this paint can of potato chips, yeah, this is all that's left. I let them get into it. How crazy is this? So it's a paint can of potato chips. Bonilla a la vista from Spain. Cool. Isn't that crazy? Who did it? Um, Termite Janine. Nice. Yeah. And, um, they're great. Cool. Yeah. And I love the packaging. Yeah. It must cost them a million dollars though. Maybe.

[00:02:56] Um, and then you have a paint can lid and it tells you when they expire. Not till 6, 24, 25. Excellent. I like it. Oh. Well done, Spain. You woke your cat up. Oh. Baby cat. The mascot, the mascot is sleeping and didn't like that noise. I'm so sorry. Princess. Princess Azura. Um, and we're also going to try these spicy loaded nachos Pringles. I love a Pringle. I know. And I always think of Mitch Hedberg because of his joke.

[00:03:25] Do you think Pringles initially, his intention was to make tennis balls? No. I like it. Maybe. Um, these are from Termite, uh, Germite. How about here? Oh, nice. Mmm. A B. B. Pretty good. Okay. They're hot. It does say spicy loaded nachos. And it does kind of taste like I was bitch that it just feels like they sprinkled powder on it.

[00:03:56] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Good. Kind of jalapeno heavy. Oh, but nonetheless. As many nachos as well. Um, shows. Where am I going? I'm only staying until the end of March because it would be too long and boring, but you can go on my website for a lot more. Uh, 7th and 8th, that's Durham. Um, 14th, February 14th, Fort Lauderdale. February 15th, Fort Myers. Um, my neighbors are coming to that. Um, February 20th, Davenport, Iowa.

[00:04:27] Well, I wanted to finish that chip. I liked it. 21 and 22, Minnesota, Mystic Lake. March 7th, Morgantown. March 8th, DC. March 14th, Macon, China. Yeah. On 15th, Charleston, two shows. That's the one that's 5 o'clock. Mm. Yeah. Um, 5 and 8th, I think. Yes. I don't know. I can't keep it straight. I voted for, the Termites voted for 7 or 730. That's what I'm gonna try to do more of. Um. 7's good.

[00:04:58] 7's good. Yeah. March, except on Fridays, people won't get home from work till 5. They go to dinner after. March 22nd, Colorado Springs. March 28th, Virginia Beach, Virginia. March 29th, do you support the onesie. March 29th, Charlotte, North Carolina. Yay. All right. So, Huntington, great time. Red Bank, New Jersey, adorable town. Mm-hmm. Great theater. I tried to go to the Dublin house in the day, but it was too packed. Saw a termite, but I had to fly by that termite to go find Michael,

[00:05:27] and then I felt bad like I should have gone back and I think they wanted a picture and I probably... You said it was crazy. Well, it was crazy in there, and I'm too short for situations like that. I just, I can't find Michael. He's tall enough that I can see him, but, you know, a lot going on in there. Nothing eventful though. It was a very wonderfully uneventful weekend compared to lately with the travel and everything just being psycho schmico. Yeah. Queen news.

[00:05:57] Let's see. Well, let's talk about fire aid, shall we? Stevie. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So I got... All the flights were delayed, whatever. And I got to Long Island late, a bit later than I thought, but fire aid was on. Uh-huh. I pulled it up. Pretty fancy. Just want to brag, I did that on YouTube on the TV. Nice! Yes. I'm proud of myself. And there were so many good performances, but then, I don't know, I guess the people

[00:06:27] that went, it was in two different places. It was better to watch it on TV. Yeah. Because if you're at the one place, you're not going to have a performer for like 15 minutes while the other place has a performer they're filming. Right. And then Stevie, great set list. Came out with Stand Back, Landslide, boom, Edge is 17. There you go. So good. No, I could have switched out Stand Back for something else I thought of, but... Oh, Rhiannon. Oh. But Stand Back hits a little harder with that, down, out of the gate. It was great.

[00:06:56] And then the stage, I think Stevie thought it was her own show, because she's like, the stage is moving and I have no idea why. Because we're turning you off, Stevie. But she's still smiling. Goodbye, everyone. Goodbye. I'm like, oh, wow. Nobody told. No. Nobody told Princess Stevie. No. No. Or once you're three to start, you gotta be quiet. Yeah. She just kept talking. I'm a lady from the Palisades. I have a magical house that didn't burn down. That got some mixed reviews on social media. Right.

[00:07:26] It was all wood. It would have set all of Los Angeles on fire, but it didn't burn. Oh, my goodness. They were scary. Yes, and it was great. Good for you. I'm trying to think who else at Fireade. I loved Earth, Wind, and Fire. Yeah. Yeah. Pink was good, but could have brought a little more pizazz there. Yep. The Foo Fighters. I thought. I thought. And then they played Nirvana and Joan Jett just came out and killed one song. And then just dropped her guitar like for some guitar tech to pick up.

[00:07:55] But you know what? She's over 60. You're allowed to do that. I'm done. She didn't throw it. Yeah. Yeah. She just like set it somewhere and just bye. I'm out. Yeah. Okay. Good for you. Yeah. As Rocky Laporte would say. Good for you, Joan. She showed up. Had a battle of the traffic. There was a lot of good people on it though. I think Earth, Wind, and Fire was my favorite though. There's like a hundred people on stage when Earth, Wind, and Fire was on stage. I don't know. I'm like, I can't imagine the green room and how do we split up this money? Oh shit.

[00:08:23] Well, my fourth cousin was over there banging a fake drum. Doesn't that? How much does he get? Yeah. Like, oh my God. There's a lot of foreign instruments. So if you can still go watch Fire 8, I think like on, yeah, I want to watch the whole thing because I didn't get to see. Amazon. Oh, Amazon. Okay. Oh, good. All right. And you can still donate. It's not all rich people, especially Altadena, very normal people. Yes, the Palisades do have quite a few rich people for sure, for sure.

[00:08:52] But there's also normal people there. Other Queen news. Dolly went down to Belmont, the university right here in Nashville. She got out of the car waving and smiling because they're going to be doing the musical at Belmont in July for like two and a half weeks before it goes to the Broadway. We should go. I'm going to go. Yeah. Even though, I don't know. I'm not really that interested because I already know Dolly's life. Like I've read everything. That's it.

[00:09:21] But she's not in it. It doesn't matter. Well. You have an hour and a half. I guess. Mm-hmm. It's right there. Yeah. It's not far from the house. This is what old age does. Well, where is it? Do I have parking? What's the parking situation? That's time. How many bathrooms do they have? Yes. So Dolly was doing that. Tom, CEO of the Chiefs, Lamar Hunt, Hunt's catch up.

[00:09:51] He wants our Clark Hunt. Clark. One of the Hunts. He wants him out because he's said negative things about the refs regarding the Chiefs. I don't think they're going to let him do the game. I know they are. Yeah. Everybody's saying it online anyway. Mm-hmm. Crybaby Ranch. Whatever. Get your room at Crybaby Ranch. People are already ready to cry about it. Super Bowl, I'm picking Chiefs by three. Boom. I said it. Boom. Right now, the betting line is one and a half. I'm upping that, Auntie. You should explain that to people who don't bet.

[00:10:20] For people who do not gamble, I'm sorry. Your life is like that. I think all of a sudden the world just becomes so much more colorful with Draft Kings on your phone. Oh, look. There's a tennis match. I don't know either one of these people and I'm betting $100 right now on the man that looks like a German vampire. There's a German player. He's got those fang teeth which are so sexy. It's like the David Bowie. I wish I had fangs. I think they're cool. These two teeth, what are they called?

[00:10:49] They're like, yeah, they're pointed. Incisors. They're not incisors. These are your canines. Okay. They're actually called your canines. I just had a cavity in one. Trust me. Of course. Yeah. Anyway, so the odds makers who are super duper mathematicians, they will tell you, they set a gambling line and they say, we think the Chiefs are going to win by one and a half points.

[00:11:15] And if you bet $100 on that and you get that right, you will make more than if you just bet the Chiefs to win. So when you bet the quote line, you're betting the same amount as if it was just an even Steven bet, but you're going to win a little bit more. Okay. I am placing the line at three. I think they're going to win by three or more. Okay. And it depends on what site you gamble on. But if it's a tie, it's a push, meaning nothing happens to your money. It just sits in your bank. It's fine. Kendrick Lamar is the halftime show.

[00:11:44] I do not understand that. Yeah. I mean, if we're talking about all of America, I can't tell you one thing. And I watched the Grammys and I still can't tell you what he sings. Now I know I'm the old white lady. I get it. Maybe the rap, that kind of rap isn't really, he's cute. He's adorable. He's adorable. But I mean, are there rappers I do know? Yes. Is he won't? No. Nothing will beat that. Snoop, Dr. Dre. Yeah. Snoop, Dr. Dre. That was, yeah. All the old guys. Yeah. But I'm old. So, you know, I don't know.

[00:12:14] Maybe it's for the children. Maybe. Is it for the children? All right. It's for the children. Tay Tay was at the Grammy. She didn't win one. It's bullshit. I got to put that. That was just whatever though. She's won them all. Chapel representing Missouri. Boom. Perfectly in a wizard hat. Full on drag. And then she's saying pink, but big, pink. Yeah. Pink pony club. But I'm like, really? Do we have to have hillbilly clowns?

[00:12:42] I mean, I know, I know it's Southern Missouri. I get it. But why do our clowns got to be like super hobo clowns? They're like hobo throwback hillbilly riding the rails clowns. Scary clowns. It was terrible. I didn't like that part, but I love her good enough. And she did a great job. Snoop. Nothing. Jelly Belly's out doing a show and at the waste management in Phoenix. Share. Very quiet. Who's this? Stevie. All right.

[00:13:12] We already covered Stevie. Let's talk about since I said, what are we watching? Fire aid. But let's talk about the Grammys. Yeah. I do not think Beyonce should win country album of the year. No. I don't like genre hopping. I have said it on this show before. There is a reason we have genres because people dedicate their life to one kind of music. And it's a, it has a history. It has everything.

[00:13:36] They moved to Nashville there or wherever country music is popular and dedicate their whole system to that. I mean, I don't know if, if genres don't matter, then why are we given awards for them? Exactly. Just stop it. We'll have five awards. Best album. Um, best singer, male, female, best record. Yep. Am I forgetting something? The Grammys will be 30 minutes. Probably. Yeah. The Grammys will be, no, half, less than a half hour. Yeah. No. And two commercials. Yeah.

[00:14:06] And there you go. I mean, are we going to let George Strait do a hip hop thing? And can he win? That would be fun. I'd pay to see that. I'd pay. Every time the hip hop artists, when they show George Strait, he's like, I don't even know. Like he did not understand Shaboozy. He didn't. And I get it. He's old school, old, old country. I just don't think it's fair to the people that move here. They're playing gigs downtown and Beyonce. Yeah, you can sing. But I don't like, I don't like genre hopping to me.

[00:14:35] It'd be like having standup comedy. And then you have comedic actors just thrown into, we're not doing the same shit. You guys do your thing. We do this thing. It's all, I don't know. I just thought, I don't know who should have gotten it. Chris Stapleton has won a lot. Lainey Wilson, she's the new hot thing. Yep. I mean. She didn't win. No. Nope. No, they all just sat there. Yeah. It was weird. Same smile on her. Billie Eilish, I will say, for the children. She's a little happier. Yeah.

[00:15:02] I don't know what's going on in the house, but this song was a little happier. In the basement. Yeah, her and Phineas Schminius in the basement doing God knows what. That was good. There were some good performances. I thought the show went. Janelle Monet. Janelle Monet doing the Michael Jackson thing was the craziest shit I've ever seen. I had to watch it three times. It's crazy. I loved every minute of it. And everybody in the place loved it. Yeah. It was just fantastic. That was cool. Yeah. So, go watch the Grammys if you didn't have a chance.

[00:15:31] And it's great when you can fast forward because I taped it on purpose. There are a shit, shit ton of commercials. I mean, it's brutal. Mm-hmm. So, also started, and I've been waiting a long time, Scamanda on Hulu. Oh, so good. If you've never listened to the podcast, you might want to go listen to the podcast first. Scamanda. It's about a lady in a town at a megachurch, a fairly well-off town in Northern California, who fakes that she has cancer. And this shit goes on for like a year and a half.

[00:16:00] And it's all megachurch involved. And they all believed her. And, I mean, I'm not blowing any surprises here. No. It wasn't true. And the lengths she goes to to make shit up, it's, I don't know how people like that walk to earth. I just, how can you lie to all these people? And she's got pictures of her in the hospital. My friend Kelly McFarlane, very funny comedian too, was the one who turned me on to that. Mm-hmm. And then, we'll put it in the show.

[00:16:28] It's, they're only releasing one episode a week. That is not good for the addicts. Well, I'm like, what? What? Where's two, three, or four? What the fuck? I gotta wait. It's the real lady. It's a documentary. The real lady. I don't know. I only got one episode because they put me in the time out trouble box because you can't do that to addicts. You've created a society of addicts. Yes.

[00:16:57] And now you're like taking the cocaine away. We're like rats in a cage and you give us the cocaine block and then you take it away. No. Not, not nice. Not nice at all. But anyway, episode one's just a setup. So you just gotta buckle in here. It's gonna get crazy, two, three, and four of how this lady, and the only, she only went to prison I think for five years, I think was the sentencing. I don't remember. And I'm like, I think you should go longer than that, for that. Because also. Like, I mean, you'd put her in the electric chair. I know.

[00:17:27] Oh yes. I admit it. Yes. About cancer. Right. People are trying to actually fundraise and do GoFundMes and then people are like, Oh, and I forgot to say, I put up a video. I got to golf with Ron. Ron came through Nashville.

[00:17:54] Bizarrely enough, it's 70 degrees and that should be some, something celebrated except it's February 4th. And to me, that kind of says tornadic a whole day. I'm just looking around going this whole thing could be wiped out with the blink of an eye today looks even crazier, like more tornadic, but I'm going golfing again with Pinky Tito. Yes. Pinky Tito and I are getting out there at one 30 boom. So cause then it's going to go back to freezing. Why is it 70 degrees two days in a row? I have no idea. Nicole is learning how to golf, but she's very athletic. So it won't take long. No.

[00:18:24] It's the people that aren't athletic where you're like, Oh fuck. This is not, there's just no natural anything going on there. And you're like, those are the people I go, you need to go get a lesson. And then somebody like Peter Costas will make them a tiny robot and they can follow those instructions and they have a very, very distinct swing. It's all very orderly and organized. Nicole played tennis and stuff. She could just get out there and crush it. She's awesome. You don't even need lessons. Just go. Keep playing. And, um, but it was wonderful to see Ron. He's back on the road.

[00:18:53] I welcomed him back to the road. Yeah. Turns out the old guys get a little tiny board at home. Yeah. And then they start to like it again and miss the road and he misses his golf. And so, uh, there's a video of me and him in the grand termite. What? He has a new dog. Yeah. Because, um, yeah, mustard passed away. Unfortunately. Um, this dog is named after me. It's Maddie. Yeah.

[00:19:20] And it's a, um, uh, shrunken golden doodle. Oh, like not mini medium. It's a perfect size, red hair. It's just dynamite. Love the dog. Um, it really is me. Yeah. And if it had glasses, it'd really be knocking it out of the park. If it was blind as a bat, that dog would. Um, but it was great to see him and we posted a little video and there you go. Um, all right, moving on.

[00:19:48] This is not technically a queen, but a queen number, number 14 in your programs. Number one in our hearts, Canadian Jan Arden. Yes. I apologize for the tariffs. I had nothing to do with that. We're, we're on pause anyway, for 30 days, Canada. We're, we're Jan. We, well, we can have a Canadian queen, but until Ann Murray dies, I don't, Jan would agree. Jan would agree. You can't, you can't, Jan doesn't get it until Ann dies. And that could be a long time.

[00:20:17] Cause Ann appears to be quite healthy. Dan Arden. Um, she had that big hit and sensitive. Well, I have, I have all her CDs and she writes, she's nice enough to write a song for the opening of my specials. Um, but she has a new CD. Well, it's a mixtape. It actually, you can actually buy the cassette if you want. Here's the song she redoes. One of us, Joan Osborne. Remember that one? What if God was one of us?

[00:20:48] Waterfalls, TLC. I didn't love it. Yeah. Jan does it better than me. She does it better? Yeah. Okay. Crazy by Seal. Wow, that's a hard one. Seal makes me nervous. I don't understand. His songs kind of make me, yeah. Nervous? I don't know. I just find them creepy. Okay. I mean, I get it. Right. I don't know. There she goes, the laws, the boxer, Simon and Garfunkel. Oh, cool. Yeah, right. The boys of summer, Don Henley. Breathe Me, who's Sia?

[00:21:19] Is that a singer? Who is that? Am I saying it right? Yes. Well, who is she? Who's Sia? How's this song go? I never heard it. Oh, I'm going to show it. How's it go? You don't know. No, I can't, but I'm laughing. You don't even know. Who's Sia? Missing, Everything But The Girl, Wicked Game, Chris Isaac, Show Me Love, Robin, and You Gotta Be, Desiree. Yeah. And then Jan's going on tour. If you want to go see Jan Arden, oh my gosh, it is so Canadian.

[00:21:49] Oh my God. There's like a million cities. That's so. BCBC, BCC, AB, AB, Saskatchewan, Saskatchewan, Saskatchewan. Oh my God. Yep. You certainly have a lot of land and there's going to be a lot of tariffs put on you paddles because you've been bad. Clearly, you are sending fentanyl over this border. You're probably mewling it. I'm going to track you. That's right. The whole fentanyl thing.

[00:22:18] I always blame it on who's buying it. We are. But I said this about Narcos. If we quit buying it, you can't, you go and blame El Chapo? Yeah. He's just selling a product, man. I mean, I know it's illegal and I know it's. Thank you. There's a lot of accidental fentanyl overdoses, which is very sad because people think they're doing something just not too bad and then it ends up killing them, which is awful. This is probably not a subject I should get too deep into, but I'm saying the tariffs. Yeah.

[00:22:48] My immediate concern is syrup, maple syrup. You'll be fine. It could be a lot more. I eat a lot of waffles. I know you do. Just saying. You love a waffle. Other Canadian goods? Well, you know who's going to be the saddest of all clowns? Who? Carrot Top, whose real name is Scott, who loves Crown Royal. Yeah. That's Canadian.

[00:23:14] Thank God my Aunt Peggy has passed on to the next life because all she drank was Canadian mist. She'd just be so sad. That's wonderful. 25% more slapped on that bottle. She'd be. Yeah. Could you just make me a little Canadian mist? Sure, Peg. That was her drink forever. So fine. All right. Update. I, I, do you or do you not support the onesie? I'm just going to throw that out there every now and then.

[00:23:44] I think mattress firm is a drug front. Everybody that listens to this podcast knows that. What? Mattress firm. That's the same way. All right. There's never a person in it. Nobody's buying a mattress. And there's bazillions of them. Mattress. What's really going on in there? Just saying. This is also how I feel about Barnes and Noble. Right. Now, I love books. Yeah. And I read a lot. And I like book books. I did get a Kindle back in the day. I hated it. Yeah. I hated it.

[00:24:13] I just, it wasn't the same. But then I think, yeah, I'm old. But what about the young people? Well, books are on the rebound now because of the tick tock. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. The kid, because the kids are posting their favorite books and then it's catching on. And then whoop to whoop. It's all good. Everybody's reading good. We need to read. Yes. We need to be a literate society. But Barnes and Noble has the highest price real estate in the highest price markets. And there's a bazillion people in there again with the lingering about, but I like that I can linger too.

[00:24:42] Um, and I usually do buy shit cause I don't go that often. I'll buy like three or four bucks. So boom, 30 bucks, 30 bucks. Boom. I am worth the rent today. But a lot of people are in there all the time just hanging out. I don't know how they make enough money to justify five floors in Manhattan. How can you pay for that? I mean, and then every city has a version of that. Chicago, they're on the miracle mile, wherever the highest rent is. That's where they're at.

[00:25:12] Yep. Well, they're opening 60 new stores in 2025. What? Yes. Wow. Yes. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. surprising revival for brick and mortar bookshops. Some of the new stores are in prime location. The DC flagship sits like a statement in some of Georgetown's most sought after real space. You're selling $30 books. Right. And coffee and chocolate in your little cafeteria cafe thing. Yep. Stay sharing.

[00:25:39] The latest book, book talk sensation fantasy romance novel. Onyx storm is the fastest selling adult novel in 20 years. New York times reported. Denver is fueling the romance bookstore. Denver has, I think it's called the tattered. Look it up. I love it. I go every time I'm there. The tattered shelf. No, that are covered. That bookstore is awesome. I've never heard of it.

[00:26:07] But there's only, I mean, they're just in Denver. It's not a chain. Uh-huh. Like, um, more than 20 romantic bookshops have opened nationwide in recent years. And more are on the way. Wow. The Bay Area, the Bay Area's oldest independent bookstore has filed for bankruptcy, citing increased operating costs and changes in customer buying habits. Of course. Well, I mean, that's a shit ton of stores. 60. That's a lot. That's crazy. Where are you all going? Some of them are, um... I like them.

[00:26:36] Some of them are also university bookstores. So they co-brand. Oh, they co-brand with the university? Vanderbilt does. Vanderbilt does. Vanderbilt does. Vanderbilt does. Oh, darling. Update! So, as part of doing the work of the Lord and research on behalf of all termites who have jobs and don't have time for this lollygag shit that I do have time for on the road sometimes,

[00:27:03] I went in a Starbucks and I said it was for here, and she gave me a real mug. Oh! Now... Nice. You can only get free refills if that's regular coffee, which is fine with me because that's usually what I just want. Mm-hmm. But if you're gonna get some fancy pants thing... Mm-hmm. No, but I got a mug. Yep. It was weird, but it's fine. Yep. But... Thank you for doing that. Yeah. I'm doing it as research. Right. So the attorney knows what to expect if you go in. Mm-hmm. Right. They want me to pretend I'm at home. For one hour.

[00:27:33] But there's a time limit. There should be. It makes me so mad. This is not your goddamn office. No. Anyway, this new CEO of Starbucks, we've talked about how much money he makes is ridiculous. Brian Nickel, and he won't stay in Seattle. He has to fly back to Orange County every other goddamn two minutes. The new Starbucks boss is counting on mugs and hugs to get customers to hang around longer. Nobody... Look, I am from a big family. We only hug each other if somebody died.

[00:28:03] Yeah. And that's even kind of barely. That's usually my dad would just give you a little pat on the back. It's all right, soldier. Buckle up. You're good. Yeah. I mean... I don't want strangers hugging me. I'm good. Like, I don't mind if it's fans and they're excited. Cause that's fine. Like, okay. Yay. Hoopty ha. But... Hoopty ha. Yeah. It's just like, I wouldn't... When I see my sister, I don't really... Well, maybe. Hug her? Kinda. Yeah. Do you miss her? No. Do I miss my sister? Yeah.

[00:28:33] Well... Well... Well... I talk to her 17 times every day. If you miss people, you... It's me again! I know, Kate. What's going on? You're not gonna believe this! It always starts with something dramatic. Oh. My. God. Yeah. I don't... No. It's like a Michael Palaszczuk joke. I love my son. I just haven't been away from him long enough to miss my son. Exactly.

[00:29:01] No, I don't miss my siblings. I talk to him too much. Okay. Yeah. So... That would make you wanna hug them. That would make me wanna hug them if I missed them? That's the human emotion. Yeah. Is that the human emotion that goes with that? Yeah. I don't really trust any of them. No. No. No. They're hugging me. They're putting some sign on my back. Yeah. Whatever. Whatever. He has decided he wants to enjoy... He wants all of us to enjoy a mug hug. He coined the phrase on the Coffee Giant's earning call this week, which where results

[00:29:30] will beat Wall Street expectations, they're hoping. They... He told analysts on the call he wanted to elevate the cafe experience for customers who wanted to sit in store, doing so without being bothered by cues of people waiting for their click and collect orders. Click and collect. What? Are you talking about online? He wants us to do that. He wants us to use your mobile app. Now you're irritated I'm coming in to get it? Right. If I can put it outside, I don't care.

[00:29:58] Why don't you get a little, you know, thing where I just... Jimmy John's, I just go in and grab it. Yeah. Well, it says Kate, because I use her... Or cat. Nobody can spell Kathleen. So, you don't want the mobile people lining up, but you want us to use the app. There's so many mixed messages in this. Yes. Yes. Cues. Also lines.

[00:30:27] When did we become British? Right. Cues. Um, he's introduced a pilot program using new algorithms to address the bottleneck for demand, freeing up baristas for moments of connections. No. No. I'm good. The children don't need to hug me. I don't want the children hugging me. We're all... Everybody's happy. Um, we call it a mug hug. That's dope. It's like, they like holding onto a ceramic mug and enjoying their moment in a cafe.

[00:30:57] And there's not all this congestion surrounding the counter. Those are called your customers, Jack Straw. Right. Hi. Yeah. Ordered this in the car. Coming in. Or throw it at me. Throw it out. Put it outside. That is fine. I don't need to go in. Yeah. Then you won't let me use the bathroom unless I have a code. Oh, my God. Oh, and handwritten notes on cups to better connect with customers. That doesn't... Every comedian has a joke about their name being spelled wrong. Every single comedian on earth. Yeah. Or getting the wrong one. It's like ridiculous.

[00:31:26] We don't... I don't know. We'll see, termites. We shall see. It's a lot more Kathleen. Well, nobody can spell Kathleen. No. No. The way it has been spelled is just really beyond the pill. You're no longer a comment. No, it's a dying name. Everybody went to Caitlin or whatever. Cassie. Yeah. Yeah. Cassie. Cassie. Whatever. Update! What are we going to do with the Utah Hockey Club?

[00:31:55] They don't have a name. They got shot down on Yetis. Yeah. Because they didn't think about it. Probably because they're not big drinkers. No. Just saying. You would have thought about your Yeti cooler thing if you were huge drinkers. Night one. Right. Night one, they set a record. They set a record for drinks because it was Boston people. Right. True. There was nothing funnier. Boston is like one of the oldest cities in America, very narrow streets and pub. There's a bar every two steps in Boston. That's why it's one of my favorite cities.

[00:32:25] Watching the Boston people in their jerseys walk around downtown Salt Lake. It was as if Elon had shot them to Mars. They were just like, cause they don't have, there's not bar, bar, bar, bar, bar. The streets are super duper wide in Salt Lake. It's very nice. It's very clean, but it's not very, it doesn't have what Boston has. And I don't even think they understood if this was a city. The look on their face was like, just get me in the arena where something is familiar. Right. Well, they're down to three names.

[00:32:55] It could be the Utah hockey club. Fine. Yeah. But it's kind of soccer-ish. And the Wasatch? Wasatch? That's the mountain range. That's the mountain range? Yeah. No. Wow. I think they got rid of those, didn't they? And the other one is the Mammoth. I think that's gonna win. They're letting people vote in the arena. Oh! You gotta buy a ticket. I don't know. I didn't, this article's like 18 pages long. It's a fan survey. Wow. I don't know.

[00:33:25] I wouldn't trust that, cause what if there are people from other towns that vote for the shitty name? Right. Opposing fans. Wow. I don't know. That's true. Yeah. They're nice. Um, oh yeah, it's the Wasatch, I don't know how you say it. Runs from the, it's a mountain range from Utah to Idaho border south and central Utah. Yep. Nobody's gonna know what that is, you guys, though.

[00:33:54] And who's afraid of a mountain range unless you're a pioneer? Nobody cares. That's not a scary thing. Mammoth is fine. I still think javelinas. You can't spell it. Little tiny, little tiny violent pigs. They can't spell them. They can't spell them. And then at halftime you can bring them out. They can't spell them. Violent pigs. These little, and they go in gangs. I was told that when I was walking to my casa one time somewhere in Phoenix, oh, be careful of the javelinas. And I thought he meant my flip flops. Oh. But those are javelinas.

[00:34:24] Javianas. Yeah. And then, um, Lewis was almost attacked by a gang of them. What? They ran him back in his little casa. Yeah. No, the desert is a weird place. I would go with javelinas. It's their low-hanging fruit. It's a great name. It's a great mascot. It's a great picture logo. You make it very realistic, not cartoony. Yeah, they're violent. They'll hurt you. That's what you want your team to be, something aggressive.

[00:34:53] They're highly aggressive. Well, white people need to learn how to spell and learn Spanish. They can't spell Kathleen. Well, white people cannot spell Kathleen, especially in the South. K-A-T-H-A-L-E-E-N-E. What? It's a lot of vowels. It's a lot of fucking vowels. K-A-T-H-A-Kath-A-L-E-N-E. L-E-E-N-E. They throw an extra E at three E's. Two A's. Kathleen.

[00:35:23] Anyway, update! This is terrifying. This is why I will never go in space. Not that anyone would invite me. To space? Yeah. No. One of NASA's stranded astronauts, these two people are still up there, has lost the ability to perform basic tasks after being stranded for eight months. Oh, wow. She's forgotten what it's like to walk. Oh. Can you imagine the atrophy?

[00:35:52] 230 days in microgravity. Wow. I mean, I've been over here long enough. Right now, I've been trying to remember what it's like to walk. I haven't walked. I haven't sat down. I haven't laid down. Oh, my God. God forbid that other astronaut that's with me. You just float? I would just be crying. Yeah. Not until you couldn't cry anymore. I would just be crying going, I knew this was going to happen. Why did I agree to this? I'm an idiot. God damn it. I would just be terrified. Terrified. Maybe these people have a different mindset.

[00:36:22] She's 59. Her crew. Right. Her crewmate, Barry. He's 62. They were only supposed to be up there. Eight. Barry. Barry Wilmore. They were supposed to spend eight days on the ISIS. ISIS? How do you say it? They embarked on their mission. They've been gone since June 5th. What? What? The Boeing capsule that took them was played by technical issues. The capsule has since returned to Earth empty, leaving the two astronauts stuck on the ISS

[00:36:51] until late March when they can catch a ride home on SpaceX Crew-9 spacecraft. I remember Elon said that. Elon's supposed to go get them. Yeah, he's going to get them. We'll see about that. He's very busy raiding the USAID department or whatever that is. Totally normal. It's so normal to have a billionaire just in there. Hacking things. I don't know. Maybe he's hacking things that need to be hacked, like cutting them. I don't know about that. But I just don't know that. No. He shouldn't be the one making that decision. Anyway. Elon.

[00:37:21] I think Elon's an alien, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I know what he talks about. Yeah. That's crazy. They're supposed to bring them home. I mean, you can't. They were supposed to. It was pushed back to late March, so that's when they're going to go get them. Late March. By that time, they'll have spent eight months. Oh, my God. That's insane. No. I would go crazy. Like, I'd go from crying to singing. Like, God forbid you're Barry. You're my crewmate. Yeah. You'd have to kill me.

[00:37:51] But I might be okay with that. No. I might be okay with that. No. No. Their muscles don't work anymore. That's horrible. Right. Oh, my God. And you've only got Barry to talk to. What if, even if you like Barry, over time, you're going to be like, Barry, we got nothing left to say. I know your whole life. I know what choices were good and bad. Yeah. Update. Barry. Hi, Barry.

[00:38:20] Do you or do you not support the onesie? Oh, Papa Bernie. This is my complaint. It's why I ended up building a house at Lake of the Ozarks, because I got so mad at Verbo, and all of my siblings, their houses are too crowded. Their places at the lake are overcrowded, and it's just nuts. So the whole time, my dad was really not doing good, which was like a two-year period.

[00:38:49] I had to rent condos, and my mom would go, I don't know why you stay here, because you have creepy dolls in the basement, Mom. And there's spiders down there, too, and I know you said you had the Spider-Man here, but you fucking, it didn't work. No. I'm not saying that. I'm going to go rent a condo, and I got so mad at VRBO. We've talked about that in the past, but I also think, so my sister has a condo at this fun place at the lake, and the whole dynamic has changed because of Verbo. We used to know everybody in the complex.

[00:39:14] It's a very old school, only three floors high, old school, wooden, Lake of the Ozarks, kind of a, you know, there's a pool, but ain't great, but it's a pool, and there's, it's fun. There's a fishing dock. Everything's fun. Well, now, because of VRBO, I mean, I don't know anybody in there anymore. Everything's rented. Everybody's way drunk, and I mean, I'm in support of all drinking. I mean, it's supportive.

[00:39:41] But this is like just a drunk fest, and then I get mad about the cleaning fees. I know I've talked about that. I won't go back into that. It's ridiculous. Right. It's ridiculous. You want me to pay $150 for the cleaning fee? Fine. But then don't leave me a list of 15 chores. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, here's everything you have to do. Well, guess who's really had it? Spain and Portugal. And funny enough, my sister and brother-in-law, they don't get to go to Europe often because it's expensive, and they got three kids.

[00:40:10] It's quite elitist. I know. You don't get to go to Europe. Yeah. No. Well, I could just go whatever I want because I forgot to have children. They're different. And so they went to Spain and Portugal this year, and they had a blast. And they did Vrbo because there's five of them, and my sister said two hotel rooms is two. I get it. I get it. But the Spain and Portugal people are like, I have no neighbors anymore.

[00:40:34] They don't know anyone because every rich person during COVID, anybody with money from Chicago or Nebraska or whatever, bought condos at the lake with the sole intention of renting them out. They never even fucking go. No. No. It's terrible. It's just, I don't know. This is just a little story. When her husband, who had cancer at the time, took a tumble in the couple six-floor flat last year, Maria frantically wondered who she could call to help lift him.

[00:41:02] In another building in another era, she might have dashed in a next-door neighbor. But it wasn't an option in her 11-unit building in central Lisbon where the tourist flats had been proliferated and turned long-term residents into a rarity. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. She resorted to calling the fire service. Welcome to my mom's world. But the moment stuck with her. I really miss it. We should be a social network, and the social network doesn't exist anymore.

[00:41:28] The 71-year-olds among them have been Europe's over-tourism problem in the most intimate ways, trading neighbors for a steady stream of suitcase-toting tourists in buildings and elevators and hallways and lobbies. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. They got to start cracking down on this, I think. I agree. But then, I don't know. I've used it in Gatlinburg, and I liked it. There's a cabin I like. Okay. But that's different because the cabin's by itself. Right.

[00:41:55] It's not part of like a condo complex or a thing where you hope you know your neighbors, you hope you like your neighbors, you hope we can all have fun here. I'm here. She said, I have no neighbors, even though I'm in the middle of a big city. It's like I live in a ghost place. There's plenty of people. I just don't know anyone. Oh. Yeah. That's too bad. She said, as the only owner who lives in the building, it's fallen on her to report

[00:42:23] rubbish left at the entrance or names scratched into the elevator door. I'm a pain, and I hate to do that. I didn't sign up for this. I don't know. What do you guys think? Termites? There's got to be a way to manage it better. Maybe say you can do it. You can rent it out six times a year or something. I don't know. Who's going to manage all that? Who's going to manage it? Right. And who's going to police it? Right. Nobody.

[00:42:53] Barcelona. It's terrible. People leave broken bottles around the building or urine or feces in the stairwell. Oh, God. Yep. They throw rubbish off the balcony. Somebody brought sex workers here and proceeded to have... Right. Because you can do anything you want in that condo and leave. Yep. It's crazy. At least at the Lake of the Ozarks, it's mostly kids. Like, I saw a bunch of Omaha girls. Drunker. Drunker than a drunk monkeys. And then I watched two of them fall down the stairs and I was horrified, but they popped

[00:43:23] right back up. They were fine. They were fine. They were fine. Moving on. Holy shit, they found it. Holy shit, they found it. This is so great. Why didn't this ever happen to me and my mom? A painting bought for less than $50 at a Minnesota yard sale is actually an undiscovered $15 million Van Gogh. What? And how bad do you feel if you sold it? Oh, yeah. My mom would have garage sales. It was the bane of our existence.

[00:43:52] Twice a year, spring and fall. First of all, garage sale people are... Well, she'd say it starts at 7 a.m., which I thought was already kind of early. I'm like, really, mom? She's like, no, you have to talk. They'd get there like at 5.30. They'd be in the driveway. Wait. Knocking on the door. They don't give a shit. Hey, is this 2795 Parker Road? Yeah. You know that. It's on the mailbox. You just want me to open the garage door right now because you woke me up. It's an intense thing.

[00:44:20] And then my mom would get mean. Like, she didn't understand. She's like, you don't know how they bargain. I'm like, just give up the nickel. Do it, mom. Do it. I'll cover the nickel. You're going to fight with this lady about whether it's 55 cents or 50 cents. And it's uncomfortable. I don't like being part of this. I'm the label lady. I'm going to label it all. And then I'm not going to be here for the bargaining. But somebody sold this. Can you imagine if you sold it? 50 bucks at a garage sale is a lot.

[00:44:50] So the person buying it either loved it or knew, hey, this could be something good. And I'm shocked. I don't think we ever sold anything for $50. And then I'd have to take my mom on Wednesday's garage sale. That's what we called it, garage sale. And it was horrifying to watch her barter with somebody where I was just like, mom, I don't want to brag. But I'm waiting tables right now. And I have $2. Right. Boom. We got it.

[00:45:19] Just get the fuck out of here. This is uncomfortable. We sold a set of hockey nets for 50 bucks. Hockey nets for 50 bucks? Two. Honey. Some of my dad's tools maybe when he was done with them. Yeah. Like things I don't know anything about. Like a drill. Yeah. Or some sort of table saw thing. I don't know. 50 bucks. The piece, this painting features a fisherman smoking a pipe while mending his net on a deserted beach. It certainly looks like a Van Gogh. Yeah.

[00:45:47] I mean, even if you love Van Gogh and you just wanted a painting that looked like one, you would have paid the 50 bucks. The unidentified buyer sold the work to LMI Group International, which has spent $300,000 and utilized around 30 experts in their quest to prove the painting's veracity. They sent their lawyers to verify the piece. And the former Met curator, the Wall Street Journal reports, the experts were encouraged what they found. The telltale reddish hair embedded in the paint.

[00:46:16] Ooh, his hair's in the paint. Oh, he was famed for his locks. Gross. Yeah. Why is your hair falling out on a painting? That's a little weird. I thought he was red. Yeah. He painted himself with red hair. I figured he did it for real. True. Yeah. Yeah. The other clue was the signature Elimar, which was inscribed in the bottom of the painting. While that's not his own name, the moniker was used in another verified Van Gogh painting.

[00:46:45] Experts from digital agency old common noted the similarity in the script in both signatures. It's widely accepted among scholars that the Dutch artist frequently did not sign his own name, so the lack of signature is not an issue. Hmm. Okay. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah, they're not saying who's crying in their garage right now, who sold it. True. Who's that person? They're not saying. No. Van Gogh was born in 1853 and shot himself to death in 1890.

[00:47:15] He was only 37. He used to check himself into the psych ward, which I appreciate. Yeah. If you know you're crazy. Hmm? I didn't know he committed suicide. Yep. Yep. And his brother tried everything. What are you going to do? That's too bad. This is not the first time a high-end artwork has been picked up from humble circumstances. A Washington, D.C. woman managed to find a 2,000-year-old Mayan vase at a thrift store, while a Texas woman picked up, we talked about this one, the Roman bus for $35.

[00:47:45] It's all out there, people. It's very cool. It's all out there if you want it. Go get it. Go get it. Speaking of art, this is kind of crazy. Yeah. Well, I went to the Louvre when I was 16. I paid to go on one of those school trips. It was $1,200. I was either going to do that or buy a Camaro. And it was all my bus and tables money. I saved all of it. And I just announced to my parents, I'm going to France on the school trip.

[00:48:15] And so back then, and then me and my cousin Mary backpacked. We would save up all of our waiting table money and just go for two weeks and backpack through different countries in Europe. Like we stayed in hostels and that whole thing. The Louvre, one of the greatest art museums in the world, and I love art. Mary was all in, so it was good. It used to have like 10 entrances. It was never a problem. And then they did that bullshit pyramid thing and everyone has to go through the pyramid.

[00:48:43] So we've taken what was probably 10 entrances into one because they want to funnel you through the bullshit gift store, which actually I want to go to that afterwards, guys. I don't want to. When you're inspired. When I'm inspired by what I saw. Right. Maybe I want a tiny Mona Lisa magnet. Maybe. Tiny. Those gift shops as a child on a school trip for a Libra were just the bane of my existence. I remember being in the Abraham Lincoln gift shop just flipping out going, I can't. I have $7.

[00:49:12] I can't make decisions like this. There's the pencil I want. I want the notebook. Oh my God. Oh, there's a Mary Todd Lincoln thing. I wanted it. I couldn't. I'm not good at decision making, tiny decisions. I'm good at big decisions. I'm not good at tiny decisions. Just buy me something in there and tell me it was the only thing they had left and it would go much faster. Well, the Mona Lisa is getting its own room under a 10 year renovation of the Louvre in Paris. It's about time. Well, it should.

[00:49:40] It should have gotten its own room because here's the other, this is what I always felt sorry for. So you're, when you go in the hall that the Mona Lisa's in, it's roped off and it's got the plastic glass, whatever over it. Well, there's about, I don't know, 20 other really great paintings in there. Nobody cares. No. You just got shafted. Yeah. If your painting ended up in her room. No one's going to see it. Nobody cares. Nope.

[00:50:06] President, French president, now the hottest looking man since Justin's quitting. Yes. Emmanuel Macron announced Tuesday that the Mona Lisa will get its own dedicated room inside the Louvre Museum under a major renovation expansive of the Paris landmark that will take up to 10 years. You know, how about go back to the way it was? What is it? You're not stopping anybody with soup and shit. We know that. It's not like you have good security now. Nope. Open up 10 doors. Yep. You used to. And there wasn't a problem.

[00:50:37] Um, it's going to get its own room. The Louvre's latest overall death bet dates back to the 80s when the glass pyramid was unveiled. So stupid. It doesn't match the anything and the motif. No. Oh, here's a glass pyramid. What? What does that have to do with anything that we are talking about in this museum? Nothing. None. Nope. Ugh. Now the museum is not up to international standards anymore. No. Um, because the ceilings and shit, they're like there, there's water coming through.

[00:51:07] It's, it's kind of falling apart. Okay. Um, somebody asked, I think the Dutch said they wanted it back, quote, in the meantime, until you fix your house. Wow. Um, last year, the Louvre received 8.7 million visitors over three quarters being foreigners, mostly from the United States, China, neighboring countries, Italy, blah, blah, blah. Nobody really cares. It's under protective glass. Um, it's in the museum's largest room, overcrowded with long, long, noisy lines of visitors eager to take a selfie.

[00:51:35] And then I never get close to it because I'm too short. Unless someone takes pity on me and treats me like a child. Oh, that's, no. Well, I saw it back in the day. There's other paintings I like way better. It's just a creepy looking lady. No. I don't get it. I never did get it. Because it's one of the most famous. It's just famous. It's part of the world. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But now with the selfie bullshit, that's the problem. Yeah. Everybody wants a selfie. Like before you'd look at it. All right. Lady smiling.

[00:52:05] Yeah. Move on. And you'd move on. Now. Yeah. Oh my gosh. The renovation is going to cost seven to 800 million euros over the next 10 years. Wow. Including half for the creation of a new entrance. Yeah. Let's get on that. That's crazy. It's only 23 bucks to get in. That's pretty good. Really good. That's really good. Yeah. Yeah. They have water leaks and damage. That's the problem.

[00:52:34] This is what you guys have. Get on it. They also have a lack of food offerings and restroom facilities. Okay. Well, maybe I don't need to have lunch at the Louvre. Maybe you don't need to do food at all. Right. Why are you doing that? Right. It's an art museum. I'm totally ready with that. Have lunch before you come or go. Seriously. It's an art museum. Well, let's go have lunch at the Louvre. Really? Are you going to stand in a two-hour line to go eat a croissant underground? I don't know. All right. That's the second one.

[00:53:05] Here's an idea. This is not about politics per se. This is about how do we limit crazy spending. Are we moving on to news? I'm moving on to news. Yeah. Sorry. I didn't announce that. Okay. Australia's introduced a new bill that would limit the total spending on a party by billionaires like Elon to just $20,000. This will ban billionaires from single-handedly buying elections in Australia. No, it won't. Because they're just going to think of different things to call it or they're going to loan me, quote, $20,000 and I'm going to give it to whoever they say I'm supposed to give it to.

[00:53:35] What you need to do is what Canada does and say each candidate gets a certain amount to spend. And however you raise it, I don't care. And then we manage it. But that includes radio, TV, social media, ad buys. Boom, boom, boom. So then it's more fair. But you know, nobody's listening. Nobody's listening to us, Paddles. Nobody. They should listen.

[00:54:01] Remember I was talking about moving on the Waymos in Phoenix, those driverless cars? Yep. Well, the Uber CEO says drivers have about 10 years left before they will be replaced completely. What? Yep. So if your Uber person has a side gig, hustle up. You got 10 years. You got 10 years. Ooh, money. Yep. Yeah, I know. I'm not getting in one. I won't do it. No. I mean, eventually I'll probably have to. That's how all the change happens in my life. Somebody absolutely forces me.

[00:54:31] Forces me. Phones. Phones? Yes, phones. Don't even get me started. Will you share some of that beer with me? Sure. I drank my Jones Beach. Oh, okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I don't understand why you... Well, I'm trying to settle in here. And yeah, split.

[00:54:58] This is a tragedy coming up. For you. Not my beer. So everybody knows, if you've listened to this podcast before, Byron Allen is a comedian, host of Comics Unleashed. But more importantly, he's the best businessman, probably that's business guy, strictly, that has walked earth. Okay. He got together a group to buy the Broncos. It didn't win. He owns the Weather Channel.

[00:55:29] He owns all these syndicated shows. He's like a genius when it comes to that kind of stuff. Mm-hmm. Well, here's... I've never seen Byron do anything where I was like, oh, I don't like that. I like Byron. Facing backlash over firing its meteorologist, Allen Media Group learns an important lesson. Take the local out of local TV at your own peril. Ooh! So get a load of this. Handing out pink slips that dozens of beloved small market local TV news weather casters

[00:55:58] would be ill-advised to do even in the best of times. But to do it in an unpredictable and dangerous weather disaster's tear across this country in this month from wildfires was particularly tone deaf. Whoa! And yet, that's what Byron's company did last week. They announced it would be getting rid of trusted local weather anchors in a cost-savings move. Now, here's what's sad. I love going to the smaller towns in turn. I watch their local news. I can't wait for it. Five o'clock. Yeah. I just want to see the weather people.

[00:56:27] Like Columbia, Missouri, they let the... Because that's where the University of Mizzou, the big one is. Mm-hmm. They let the students do it. And it's so great. That's great. Their clothes don't fit. Yeah. They have on their dad's suit. Yeah. They can't really follow the thing yet. It's wonderful. It's so entertaining. Some of them are shockingly good. Like a sports guy will come on and he's like, okay, so to round up the St. Louis Cardinals and Mizzou and Tigers. And I'm like, oh, okay, he's ready. But then there's other ones where you're like, oh. You're a freshman.

[00:56:57] Yeah. Wow. And then even forget about that. That's just the students doing it, which is entertaining to the very end. But say I saw a goodbye from Terre Haute, Indiana, and it's their local people. Yeah. You get attached to those people. Yeah. Yeah. I'm attached to the one in Nashville.

[00:57:34] Mm-hmm. Yeah. 11 at night. Yeah. They keep moving back local news and starting it. It's bullshit. That I would protest if I was them. But you can't. I mean, how much are you paying the weatherman? So this is what they're going to do instead. They're going to fire those people in small markets. So your local weather people are gone. Yeah. And it would get rid of your trusted local weather anchors in a cost-saving mood. The idea was to just feed the forecast from its weather channel hub in Atlanta to the company stations around the country.

[00:58:03] So you'll go to Atlanta. They'll specify it for you. Oh, okay. Wabash, Indiana. Here's your thing. Centralia, Missouri. It's just. Yeah. Yeah. They said it might move some of its local meteorologists to Atlanta. But for the most part, your local forecast would be handled by someone hundreds or even thousand miles away from the community served by the station. Who's going to quit? They're going to quit because they're going to have to do 700 local markets. And then they're going to get it wrong at some point. And then there's going to be.

[00:58:37] That's what they've done. They're sticking to it, too. They didn't see it coming, though, the backlash. Nope. They forgot how personally attached viewers are to their weathercasters. These are TV personalities or superstars in their local market. Yeah. Yeah. In your local market, those people still get treated like rock stars. It's very, very. Everybody's seen them on TV. Yes. It's sad. Are you in a small market, termites? Any of you? Have you seen this happen?

[00:59:07] Do you not support the onesie? Tell me if you've seen it happen. Are you sad? I'd be sad. That's too bad. I mean, it's fine going to Atlanta. I trust what they're saying, but I don't like the idea of it. No. You want your people. You want to know they drove to work in the snowstorm and got there. Right. And then I think, do they have to spend the night? Because we have 18 inches more snow coming. And then you're, yeah. I want to know. Yeah. We got a real life Yellowstone thing going on. What? Yeah. Wow.

[00:59:36] And he's kind of a famous person. Really? Yep. Homeowner's Blast tone deaf plan by Billionaire to build massive resort and rename the town as they insist it will destroy it. After already sparking fury to try to rename Wyoming City, Chicago Cubs owner Joe Ricketts has attracted fresh hate with his new ambitious proposal. Oh, no. You're coming from Chicago. Fresh hate. No.

[01:00:06] He's 83. You know what? How about you not pick a fight at 83? Right. How about you sit down with all your money and go to the Cubs games and eat hot dogs and be happy? Right. No. He's got to fuck with all this. That's terrible. Yep. He purchased 33 acres of land in the idyllic Granite Creek in Wyoming. Hmm. It's about an hour drive from Jackson in May. It's unclear how much he spent on the property, but it was last listed at a price of about $9 million.

[01:00:35] Whoa. On January 15th, it was revealed that the businessman is planning to develop the Safari Club, the existing ranch on the property, into a luxury resort called the Hawken. The Hawken? You're 83. What is wrong with people? Retire. Go have fun. All right. Maybe this is their idea of fun. The name was derived from the Hawken rifle, which is a muzzle-loading rifle that was widely used in the Rocky Mountains as the American West was being settled.

[01:01:03] In a statement, he said that the resort would showcase the unparalleled beauty and the wonder of the Yellowstone ecosystem. We aspire for the resort, blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to read their press release. Locals were not convinced by the flowery explanations, and they feared the Ritzy property would overtake the area's natural ecosystem. Probably. Right. Well, because here's the thing. We got to have an airport for the billionaires. It's the same thing as in Yellowstone. If you build it, they will come. Are you prepared for them to come? No, you're not prepared.

[01:01:33] B, do you want them to come? Probably not. If you're the locals. It's already a resort, but he's going to expand it, redo it. Oh, my gosh. His family fortune exceeds $4 billion. He'll tack on 22,000 square feet of a new development, including cabins, lodges, a nature center, and a spa. He plans to demolish the existing lodge and build a new prestigious building, complete with a gourmet restaurant, stylish bar, and cozy space for guests to mingle. See? No. Leave the old one. Right.

[01:02:03] Leave it. Right. And make it the, quote, original. Would you like to stay in the classic room, Ms. Madigan? Yes, I would. Would you like to go to the original fireplace in the giant Rocky bar? Yes. I would. I mean, what do you do? These people went out? Yes. Yeah. Agreed. I don't know. Oh, he also bought up a bunch of land in Bondurant, Wyoming, and he's going to rename it Little Jackson Hole. Oh, come on. Holy shit.

[01:02:33] Little Jackson Hole. Yeah. It's like the Gulf of America. I don't know. But see, what are the locals going to do? Your locals need to be Ted Turner. You need a rich guy to go up against a rich guy. Right. And there probably aren't enough of them. Nope. Terrible. This is crazy to me. Next story. Okay. And this is the children. The children? Mm-hmm. Okay. In a good way. Okay. The children. Good. How an iconic restaurant chain pulled off the best comeback of all time to become America's favorite.

[01:03:03] And I will still say, not my favorite. Not even close. Oh, okay. On the road, if I have, is it making it my top five? Nope. No. Chili's. Yeah. Chili's. Yeah. Only if I have to. Yes. Yes. And then I can kind of get the tacos and douse them with hot sauce and pretend I'm somewhere else. The service is fine. The burger's nothing.

[01:03:30] The burger, I always ask for extra well done and it's not. Yeah. I'm still afraid of mad cow disease. Oh my God, grandma. God. No, I just don't like the texture of uncooked. Like a medium rare hamburger would make me vomit. A medium rare prime rib? No, that's fine. Steak? Fine. It's hamburger. It's too. Yeah, whatever. Chili's has pulled off a remarkable comeback, which experts are hailing the best one of all time.

[01:03:56] The 49-year-old casual dining restaurant known for its baby back ribs and Tex-Mex menu. I'm not eating, I am not eating ribs at Chili's. There are so many places in America to get great ribs. It's sweet. It's like I made the sauce and I just went with sugar like this. And I love sugar, but no. The Jack Daniels ones is Fridays. Yeah, but that's, they're struggling.

[01:04:22] Other restaurant trains are filing while other ones are filing for bankruptcy and struggling to get people through the door. Foot traffic to Chili's increased 20%. Mm-hmm. Sales at the restaurants have been open for at least, yeah. Yeah. They've, a huge 31% growth last quarter. The stunning results drove parent company Brinker's stock up 16%. Analysts said the turnaround was one of the best of all kind. How has this, how has they done it? They updated it menu. They leaned, it should say lean, not lent. Lent.

[01:04:52] Heavily into social media and managed to build up a young audience without raising its prices. Wow. They've been on fire lately and have been significantly boosting traffic to its restaurant. There are a whole host of reasons for this, including improved menus, products, strong social media activity. It's the children. It's the children. Sorry about that. That's okay. Give some beer now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's affordable for the children. Mm-hmm.

[01:05:24] Wow. They spent $400 million on the new menu. Well, maybe I'll give it a try. Yeah. They have four core offerings. Burgers, chicken crispers, fajitas, and margaritas. I mean, if I'm going for fajitas and margaritas, I'm going to a Mexican restaurant. Right. The chicken crispers aren't bad. I've never had them. Yeah. I haven't had them. Instead of upping the prices, the chain, which has over 1,000 locations in the United States,

[01:05:47] offered deals including $6 margaritas and $10.99 Big Smasher Burger, which it claims has twice the amount of beef as a Big Mac. Gross. It's the children. This is what they like. The triple dipper. Triple dipper platter has taken social media by storm, with some videos from influencers such as Alexis Frost raking in hundreds of thousands of views. They love the triple dipper. I don't know. Yeah.

[01:06:16] For less than $20, a triple dipper allows customers to choose three appetizers. You can get mozzarella sticks. That's wonderful. I love a good mozzarella stick. Love it. And then my sister's like, who own yourselves? I do. Shut up. Burger bites, wings, or Southwestern egg rolls. No, I don't ever want to hear. No. That's the deal went viral, inspiring thousands of TikTok videos. They love it. The children can save you.

[01:06:45] Just know that if you're failing, you have to think about the children. Yeah, because the children can kill you off, too. They have power. They have buying power for this kind of stuff. They're not going to be in the Mercedes market just yet, but they will be in for your triple dipper. Yeah. That's my feel-good story. Hold on. This is another huge travel problem. Okay.

[01:07:14] This is crazy. So all of these cities that welcome cruise ships, they're now regretting it. Okay. But the problem is you gave cocaine to the rats. You gave the cocaine to the rats. And all the town folk that make their money on these people, if you take it away, if the cruise ship doesn't drop off their 5,000 people to come by your hooptie-la body, whatever you're selling, your trinkets.

[01:07:42] Well, Royal Caribbean may be adjusting its future travel. It's future heading towards Mexico is a hot topic. They're trying to ban them. They've banned. These are places, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Manzalano, Mexico. Here's a closer. There's a ban. American cruise ship and other major cruises just got banned from yet another port.

[01:08:11] Nice France wants to put a ban on it. I'm surprised they ever allowed it. Nice is fancy, pants, rich, hooptie-ha, get your yacht, you know. I mean, this is – Nice doesn't need it. Not Nice. But like Anchorage, Alaska, Galveston, Texas. Yeah, they all – yeah.

[01:08:35] Nice is cutting them out, and they're cutting out Norwegian, Coonard, Celebrity Cruise. Cunard. Cunard. Holland America. Over tourism. This is similar to Charleston, South Carolina. It ended its Carnival cruise line after a 14-year run. Carnival can no longer go to Charleston. Mm-hmm. That's crazy. Mm-hmm. Belfast, Maine. They're sick of it. I don't know where that is. I don't either.

[01:09:04] Banning cruises with more than 50 passengers. That's what they should do. Let the cruise ship come, but with a limited amount of people. Like you have to sign up for a time. So you still have customers. Yeah. But the town unanimously voted to ban them. That's crazy. Mm-hmm. I think. It's – I guess it's just over tourism. Wow. The two reasons, safety concerns, overcrowding. I've seen it happen. I've seen it happen like in Portland, Maine, I believe.

[01:09:33] You can tell like you're – so you'd be down – whatever little town it's in. Yeah. You're in a small to medium-sized city, seaport city. Yeah. Yeah. And then you go in a store and come out and shit, there's 3,000 people here. Yeah. It's bizarre how it flips. It's free. But I would think they – Belfast, Maine thinks it's going to have a surge in revenue because they've stopped this, which may be true. Oh. Right. I never thought about that. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe.

[01:10:02] Because people didn't want to visit because of that. Okay. South Carolina, San Juan, Puerto Rico, they're canceling Royal Caribbean. I mean, I don't – these cruise ships, they've gotten too big. They got too greedy. They've gotten too big. Every time they say this is – and we read it every time on this podcast. Here's the biggest one in the world. And two months later, there's a different one. They're like, well, that one's a tiny little thing. We got this guy coming. I don't know. Nice, France. They never needed it.

[01:10:31] I'm shocked they even ever allowed it. They're very fancy. And now, I mean, these things are so big. I think the biggest one I used to know was 5,000 seaters. But I bet you – Google what's the largest capacity on a cruise ship these days.

[01:11:02] Largest. AI says 7,600 people. 76 – 7,600 people. January 2024, Royal Caribbean. Royal Caribbean, January 2024. So a year ago. So I'm sure one's being built that's bigger right now. Yes. All right. This is a crazy story that involves my home state and your area of the world paddles.

[01:11:30] This is going to be the best dateline ever. Wanted for murder in Missouri and Mexico. Police say pistol-packing mama hid in Alberta for decades. What? Whoa. 55 years after the Missouri murderer known as Sharon Keene escaped from a Mexican prison, American authorities confirmed the fugitive hid for decades in a small Alberta town.

[01:11:59] On Thursday, Jackson County sheriffs confirmed that Keene, who was leaked to three murders in two countries, had been hiding out three hours south of Calgary in the town of Tabor. What? Do you know this town? Yeah, that's where all the corn is. Corn? Yeah. Well, she hid there for 49 years until her death in 2022 at the age of 81. She'd been living under the name of Deirdre Glavis in the sleepy prairie town of 9,000 residents known best for its corn crop.

[01:12:28] Way to go, Paddles. You got it right. Yeah, that's crazy. Do you ever go there for a reason? Would there be a reason to go to Tabor? For corn. Just for – You go pick corn. You go pick your own corn? Yeah. Like for fun? Yeah, it's fun. Fun? Yeah. Like ears of corn? You go on a cornfield? Yeah. Huh. Yeah. Okay. We did. And then you just go home? You just go home. They don't have like a beer garden or nothing? No. Huh. It's a good idea, though. Right.

[01:12:58] You got to make it fun. No, you bring your own beer. You bring – oh. Yeah. You bring your own beer? Okay. They're not licensed. It's unclear if anyone knew she was a fugitive on the run from both Mexican and Missouri police. The Mexicans in Missouri. I'm sure the Missouri cops were – yeah, I mean – Call the Mounties. Or if they just knew GLaBus is a bridge-playing local realtor. She was a local realtor and volunteer.

[01:13:24] Captain Rhonda Montgomery with the Jackson County Sheriff Department told reporters at a Kansas City news conference that the police received an anonymous tip in December 2023 from someone in Alberta. The courageous tipsters told police that she'd been living in Alberta under the name Deirdre Glabas. The police subpoenaed the funeral home in Tabor. In Canada, in certain circumstances, people can be fingerprinted after they die. What? Whoa. Gross.

[01:13:54] How long have you been in the ground? Oh. I don't want that job. No. No. No. Gross. The recently deceased 81-year-old was indeed the fugitive who disappeared in 1969 in the middle of serving a sentence for murder in Mexico while wanted in the 1960 slaying of her husband who was fatally shot in his bed. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, she's skinny. She looks mean. Mean? Yeah. Wow.

[01:14:24] The fatal shooting took place between 1960 – Shootings. It's widely believed she killed two other people. What? Go. Yeah, shoot your ass. The killings took place between 1960 and 64 and stretched from Independence, a satellite city of Kansas City. It's a suburb of Kansas City. It's also where the Mormons think Jesus Christ is returning. Just FYI.

[01:14:49] Satellite city of Kansas City to Mexico City where the press gave her a nickname, La Pistolera. I like it. Yeah. I like it. The female gunslinger. La Pistolera. Yeah. It's like Steuben Tiger. Baby cat is my Steuben Tiger. Steuben Tiger. Tiger of the living room. In 1964, she was a month away from a retrial for the 1960 murder of her husband when she skipped town.

[01:15:15] She headed to Mexico where within days she killed a man in the course of a robbery. What? Oh, my God. This lady don't give any shits. No. Although three years early she'd been acquitted by a Missouri jury in the death of Patricia Jones, the wife of her lover, police discovered the murder weapon used to kill Jones in her hotel room in Mexico City. Where's this lady originally from? Missouri. We messed that one up. Yeah.

[01:15:42] The Missouri police called her pistol-packing mama. I like Pistolera better. I like La Pistolera way better. She died in 2011, but the 90s, she and two other officers who were involved, this is the, not her, this is the investigator died. He and two other officers who were involved did an interview in Kansas City. They said they were the first ones on the scene when she had shot her husband in the head.

[01:16:10] She said she was in the bathroom getting ready for dinner and she heard her daughter say, Daddy, how's this thing work? Then she heard a shot and she ran in the bedroom and discovered her husband. She said that the little daughter had shot him. She's two and a half years old. What? She blamed. And then the Missouri cops were like, we bought it at the time. Oh my God. Oh, whole money everywhere. Oh.

[01:16:34] The grandson of the cop from back then said his grandfather would be flabbergasted to learn he'd managed to evade authorities in a small Canadian town. For somebody to be able to escape prison basically here, then escape to Mexico and be able to live a full life. I don't know if that's happened anywhere. He said from St. Louis. He said from his St. Louis home. To be wanted and murdered. How did she get into Canada? What is your ID? What is your identification? This is why I need a dateline. Right. I need to know how people do these things. Not that I ever intend on doing them.

[01:17:03] Just rest assured I don't intend. But it's not easy. People tell you. For the rest of her life, she lived as Dee Glavis, a realtor and volunteer. According to the obituary for her husband, the couple moved to the town in 1973 and owned the Tabor Martel. Oh, better clean your room. You better park where she tells you to park. They were working together as realtors. Or as they say in Lake of the Ozarks, spouses selling houses.

[01:17:33] She was quoted in the Lethbridge Herald in her role at the daycare center. That's fantastic. I got to show up. She had two husbands in Alberta and they both died. Maybe she got tired of that. She might be. She's like Pistolero. La Pistolero. Oh. Wow. The one husband died at 38 years old. Oh.

[01:17:59] He had a history of alcoholism and diabetes according to the findings of a fatality inquiry and was drinking the night he died. Still, I don't care. She poisoned him. She did something bad. Yeah, she did something bad. Whoops. I knocked that out of the way. He died of asphyxiation from the inhalation of gastric juices as a result of being in a diabetic coma. Then she married a guy named Willie L. He died at 79. She had children in at least two of her marriages, although details are sparse.

[01:18:29] Jesus. God. You can't just go into Canada. You can't just show up. You had to have paperwork. Right. How does this happen? We are still another country. She was on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. Stop it. Yep. They didn't get her. That was a great show. It was a great show. I loved it. I used to wait for it. I got so excited. And then they would go, found! No captured! Captured! Mm-hmm. That's an update. According, after her last husband's death, she used some insurance money to buy a

[01:18:58] new Ford Thunderbird convertible. Of course she did. Yep. And she promptly began an affair with car salesman Walter Jones. Walter refused to leave his wife. Oh! Three months after Walter refused, his wife was dead. Oh my god! Yep. How'd she kill these people? Shot him. She was acquitted. Of course she was. Uh-huh.

[01:19:26] And then she ran off to Mexico and then they caught her and she escaped. And then she said, how did you get to Canada? This is why I need the show. Okay. There's too many hard, hard things here. It's a lot going on. Right. It's not like she was in Kansas City and moved to St. Louis and lived in the summer. Okay. Well, you drove three and a half hours and they found the gun in her police room, in the Mexican room, hotel room. That's insane. Yeah.

[01:19:53] I wish somebody would, uh, see, we need to go to the town, interview the people that knew her in, in the, you get up there and go do that. You can, you know where you're going. You know where the corn's at. Jan, are you listening? Jan, could you run on down to Tabor for a day and do some local interviews? I'll set them up. I'll do the research. I got time. I got time. When I'm in one town for two days, I have hours. Um, um, all right.

[01:20:22] We're going to do the feel good story. Then just a couple, couple, a couple, a couple, uh, thank you. And then more quotes. We're going to do Stevie and the queen. I think it's time for some wisdom. Uh, this is great news for my nephew who's autistic and for all autistic parents, family members, and the autistic people. The first autism certified airline. This here's what it means for neurodivergent travelers.

[01:20:51] This has got to be a relief for everyone involved because you don't know if your autistic kid, some of them have meltdowns and you just hope it's not on the flight, but you don't know. And it's always very nerve wracking for everyone involved. Well, Emirates will soon make flying more accessible for autistic travelers and their families. The Dubai based airline is set to become the world's first commercial autism certified airline when the airline finishes training more than 30,000 cabin crew and ground staff members. How great is that? That's wonderful.

[01:21:18] Um, they're welcoming everyone, um, instead of it always being an issue. And I see it quite frequently flying because, um, my nephew, I can usually pretty much guess, okay, that kid's autistic and this could go good or it could go sideways. And there's no telling. I remember my brother saying a couple of times where there would be a meltdown on the plane. It's only funny in retrospect. It was not funny at the time, you know, and it was like a thing.

[01:21:46] Um, they'll hand, they'll in your air, you're going to get a neurodivergent, neurodiverse sensory products such as fidget toys to help with anxiety and stress on the ground. They'll have a sensory sensory guide to prepare travelers for the surroundings they'll encounter on their journey from sound levels to smells, delights to blah, blah, blah. It's just wonderful. That's great. Yeah. That finally, and then if you're with a bunch of autistic parents and kids too, you don't feel like odd man out. Right. You're like, oh, okay. Everybody's.

[01:22:15] And then if a different kid has a meltdown, you're already used to it. Right. And it's not going to be like a thing where it has become a thing. Here's another little thing. New York. Feel good. You can include your beloved pet in your wedding and it's now becoming more than just a novelty. It's now legally recognized in several states. Your dog can be your witness. 23 states along with New York City allow pets paw prints to serve as a valid witness signature on your marriage certificate thanks to self-solemizing laws.

[01:22:45] These unique provisions enable couples to marry without an efficient or traditional witness. What about cats? Baby cat. Baby cat has the cutest, cutest rabbit feet ever and her little toe prints would be adorable. You have nobody to marry. Well, I don't have anybody to marry, but we could go and just get her paw printed in some sort of cement or something. Okay. Yeah. I just don't like that the cats are always ignored.

[01:23:15] And I love dogs probably more than cats. Oh, did you hear that? Did you hear that, baby cat? I don't care. Well, they're more interactive. Cats are more interesting. Dogs are more interactive. Can't have a dog. Gone too much. Barely keep up with these. Thank you to my termites. And we're going to do the quotes. Huntington, New York. Elsie and Gail. Golf ball. Dried beef. Delicious. The boys got into that too, but I got some to take home. Popcorn pretzels. A lot of things from the New York fire department. That was great. And that was from termite Janine again.

[01:23:45] And the Spanish potato chip. And pickleball sweatshirt. It's very cool. Greenies. Boom. Baby cats are very happy. That's from termite Patty. And then Red Bank. The Weird New Jersey book. Very fascinating. We went through it. That was from Germite Raymond. Termites Michael and Elsie. Local beer. From Finn, Bitsy, Abby, Molly, and Paul. That's quite a germite. Wow. Okay. And this is funny. This came like immediately after the podcast. I don't know how people. Germites they call themselves because they're Jersey termites.

[01:24:15] They're Jersey termites? They're germites. They're germites? Oh, okay. This is a candle that says, do you or do you not support the onesie? I don't know how people make things this quickly. It makes me laugh so hard. Huge fan. Make me laugh. Love the podcast. Sue. Sue said it. It's holy shit. It's a beer koozie with baby cat on it. Awesome. How exciting is that? Great. I do not recall and I need an attorney. I'll be taking this on the road. I don't know what I'm going to put in here. Maybe my global entry card.

[01:24:44] Well, it needs something to go in there. You got socks. That's great. Bigfoot socks. Nice. And then just a little plaque. Do you or do you not support the onesie? Son of the onesie. Bernie, I think RFK is going to get confirmed so it didn't even matter if he supports the onesie but it still makes me laugh. We ordered more of the winter hats because they all sold out so fast.

[01:25:12] They say Madigan's Pubcast and they're super fun. So we got 20 more. 20 more. 20 more. That's all? 70. Oh, it's 70 today. It's going to be 35 tomorrow with a chance of frozen mix. Uh-oh. Mm-hmm. It's still global warming. Mm-hmm. Oh, Touch Up Podcast. My friends. It's on this week. It's on this week? And next week. Okay.

[01:25:38] So my friend Taryn, she's a makeup artist, and her friend Mari, she's a makeup artist as well, and they do hair. They do everything. They're so awesome. They live here in Nashville. They do all the cool stuff. And then she did mine for a headshot, and I became friends with them, and they have a podcast. I thought it, sometimes it is about hair and makeup, but other times it's just about talking and having fun. I haven't laughed that hard for two hours straight. If you guys are bored, I'll put it up on my socials and stuff.

[01:26:04] But we couldn't be more different people. Like, really, I'm like, wait, you don't get up and read the news or nothing? And Taryn's like, I'm like, what do you do? Like, I don't know what I would do if you took my phone away, and I can't see what's going on. I need to know what's going on. She's like, oh, no. Like, listen to music. We are, it was so, we laughed so hard. And wait till you hear us talk about science. Oh, my God. Three morons. What's an atom? I don't know. It's a molecule. Shut up. Uh-uh.

[01:26:35] Okay. No. Let's move on to the Queen before Stevie. There are long periods when life seems a small, dull, round, a petty business with no point, and then suddenly we're caught up in some great event, which gives us a glimpse of the solid and durable foundations of our existence. Well done. Yeah. She's right. Yeah. Life.

[01:27:04] Don't take it too seriously. Well, life seems stupid. Mm-hmm. Like, so we all did this all stuff for my dad for two years of all the, the, all the everybody my age is doing with older parents. And we're all just like, I can't wait to get back to my life. You know, this is all consuming and it's fine. I want to be able to do it. I'm glad I have to have to. But then when, when, when that person passes away, you're like, okay, what was I so anxious to do? It's just dumb shit. Golf. Play with the cat. Yeah. I want to play with the cat. Tell jokes. I mean, tell jokes.

[01:27:35] Yeah. Yeah. But then sometimes in a creative manner, give us a glimpse of the solid and durable foundations of our existence. Oh, yes. I got a saint for you before I do my last quote. Okay. This is a saint for musicians. Cool. Saint Cecilia. Nice. I had an aunt, Cecilia. A great aunt. Cecilia was betrothed to Valerian. Oh, how exotic. Sounds like Gandalf. Valerian. Yeah.

[01:28:05] But secretly she had promised herself to God. She told this to Valerian saying there was an angel watching over her. He asked to be shown the angel. He said, she said, you got to get baptized first. Upon his return from the sacrament, he saw Cecilia praying with her angel beside her. The angel crowned the couple's heads with lilies and roses. Valerian refused to renounce his new faith and was executed by the Roman prefect. Oh. Yep. He got shot for that. Was looking at an angel that important, Valerian?

[01:28:34] I'd have skipped it. Uh-huh. Before authorities found Cecilia, she had converted 400 people. She too was put to death and buried alongside Valerian. Valerian. It is said she sang with angelic harmonies and could play any instrument. She may have invented the organ. Wow. Yep. That's a busy life. Not really sure. She might have. Keep it going. Mm-hmm. Okay, let's go to Stevie. Oh, boy. And then we got to go.

[01:29:01] I've got to go put on some sort of golf pants to go meet Pinky Tito. And Nicole's coming. It's going to be very exciting. The sun's still not out, though. No. Better than 30 degrees. Hold on. Oh, hold on. I wouldn't like to be in movies. Movie people are strange.

[01:29:31] They live a different life than musicians do. I could not agree more. The actor people, they're a weird, weird breed. Like the musician people, I feel like we all are kind of leading a version of the same life on the road. Yeah. But we're road people. We're circus monkeys. True. I mean, the actor people. I may have already read that quote. I've got to start marking if I read them. Okay, Termines.

[01:30:00] Durham, here I come. Boom, boom. Barbecue. Barbecue, barbecue, barbecue, barbecue, barbecue. I'm so excited. So good. And I'll eat it all weekend. I know. Yeah. You'll bring me back some. I'll be a little healthy. I'll bring you back some. Thank you. Aaron Weber, be on the road. The following week is Michael Somerville again and so on and so on and so forth. That's Fort Lauderdale and Fort Myers. That's after that. We just dumped some tickets. Dumped. Tickets in Durham? We dumped the marketing comps? We're about to dump. We're about to. We're about to.

[01:30:30] About to dump some more. Fort Lauderdale. Fort Lauderdale. Just so you guys understand, there's a point where you've got to say, does anybody need these marketing comps? Does anybody want Kathleen? Do you have people? Blah, blah, blah. And then if we all go, no, they just put them up for sale. And that's true of every show. So just to know that, Termites, if there's something you really want to go see, always check in. Like the week beforehand, check every day. And you might just see all of a sudden, why? Shit. Why is there a whole row open and they're normal priced? Because those were the marketing comps. Doing the work of the Lord.

[01:30:59] Doing the work of the Lord. And before we go, one more question. Do you not support the onesie? Night, night, termites. Night, night. And the grand termite says night, termite.