Episode 211: A New Toll for Everest, Dolly’s Secret Song, & Idaho Brings Back Firing Squads

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on. Termites! Oh, wow, that sounded crazy. I know. Welcome. I have a cold. I can't help it. I'm sorry. Welcome from Stevie, who's been very quiet. Oh, well, what is the date? January. Their big concert for the fire. It's the 29th.

[00:00:38] It's tomorrow. Their concert, I think, the 30th. We talked about it here and I already forgot, but I think it's the 30th. You're on a lot of cold medicine. Yes, I'm on a lot of cold medicine so I can be healthy by New York. Yay. Yeah, I blame American Airlines. What? Yeah, I do. I don't get a cold on Delta. I don't get a cold on Delta. Just in general. Yeah, flying was ridiculous this past weekend. It was just, well, first, what am I drinking?

[00:01:03] I'm drinking a Bale Breaker Pilsner from Bale Breaker Brewing in where? Moxie, Washington. Nice! Yep. Not really sure where that's at, but probably by Spokane somewhere. I'll bring it up. Mm-hmm. This is the can. Interesting, right? It just says Pilsner. Very old school looking. I like it. Yeah, I like it. Mm-hmm. Simple, old school, golden white. Easy peasy. Mm-hmm. Well done. What are we eating? Well, I gotta admit, I've already had one of these. Really?

[00:01:33] Not just now. I mean, not before now. It's Sadie's Hatch Green Chili Ranch Tostada Chips from New Mexico Terminates CJ and Judy, and they are great. Nice! I wish it was sold everywhere. Sadie knows how to make a Tostada chip. And the green chili ranch, since 1954. Yeah, I'm gonna have to stock up on these. Next time I go to New Mexico, which is never. Never! No. No. No. They won't book me. No.

[00:02:03] I can't help it. Nope. I gotta be Gabriel Iglesias. You do it. That's the bottom line. Yep. You gotta come for him. We don't want to sound racist, but there's not enough white people, I guess. What's happening? I don't know. Then, how exciting is this? The Haribu Bear, I'm gonna have to give credit next week, because I... Oh! Look at the mailing thing. Oh, hang on. No, you taste it. I'll find it. These are from the mothership in Germany. Oh! Yeah. Yeah, this is crazy.

[00:02:33] These people, and it says, Golden Baren. Did you all... From Dan and Vicky. Dan and Vicky. Yep. Heribu Mach Kinderfro. Whoa! Did you also know if you have a cat in Germany, they call your cat the living room tiger, and the name for that is Steuben Tiger. Steuben Tiger! So I look at Baby Cat now, and I'm like, Liz, if it isn't the Steuben Tiger. She doesn't respond. No, I'm sure she doesn't. No. She's here right now. She loves to podcast.

[00:03:00] She likes to come up here every now and then, or when she knows I'm gonna put her out, she hides up here. Oh! Cause I don't have a door. A door where? Going up the steps. Oh, you can fix that. Oh, she could get over anything. Don't you? These are really good. Even a little bit better. Oh. Oh. Mit, 25% frukstuff. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Heribu gum. Wow. Nice. Really good.

[00:03:29] Wow. I'm saving these for the next flight. Thanks, Dan and Vicky. Huh? Thanks, Dan and Vicky. Bunt, Gwinnan. I don't know. That was starting to sound jazz. Yeah. Asian. One last thing. A Kit Kat. Asian Kit Kat bars. Samurai Termites, Beth and Lisa. Look at this. It's all Asian writing on the Kit Kat thing. Cool. But they... Well, it's a Kit... It's Nestle. It's just redone. Let's see if it tastes the same. Are they called Kit Kat? These are from 2023. Woo!

[00:04:01] No. Yeah, it's like dark chocolate inside. Is it? Yeah. Well, they're not bad. Yeah. My mom would love them. If you're a dark chocolate person... Yeah, we'll send them to Vicky. Not that I've eaten it. No. I like it. It's just different. It goes great with beer. Probably even go better with red wine. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:04:31] Upcoming shows. Are we ready, Termites? Huntington, New York. That's this weekend. We added a second show. That's the early one. No. Late. 930. Yeah, the first one sold out. But the second one, there's still tickets. Red Bank, New Jersey. Sold out. Boom. So, Durham, February 7th and 8th. Two nights. I can't wait. That's two full days of barbecue. Yeah. Are there still tickets? There are tickets, yes. Sorry if I'm coughing too loudly. Clearing my throat. February 14th, Fort Lauderdale. February 15th, Fort Myers. That's the one...

[00:05:01] Oh, no. My mom's going to see Lewis in Sarasota. And she's like, can I have tickets to see Lewis? And I said, yeah. I'll get you four tickets to see Lewis. Oh, well, her friend's already bought tickets. I go, well, I'll get you two more tickets. I go, well, I can't... I have to sit by them. I'm like, mom, you did this all wrong. I can't give you... We are assigned free tickets and they are good seats, but I can't move that seat to where

[00:05:28] your little pals bought their two seats and then buy the ticket next to them and just demand that seat. Yeah, move over. My God, how long have we been doing this? Come on. Madigans, get it together. By the way, I'm not getting political, but two things from... Well, let me finish this schedule. February 20th, the RFK thing. Oh, it's happening now. I have such a favorite moment from it, but hold on.

[00:05:55] February 21st and 22nd, Mystic Lake, that's in Minnesota, the casino, and they're going to take me ice fishing. Yeah! I was so excited. March 7th, Morgantown, West Virginia. March 8th, that's DC. I think that's sold out. March 14th, Macon, Ja-Ja. Nice. Charleston, so excited. March 15th. And then maybe sneak out the queue for a little coffee, coffee. March 21st, Fort Collins. March 22nd, Colorado Springs.

[00:06:24] And then there's a ton more and they're all on the website, so you guys can go... You added a show too. Where did I add a show? Cape Cod Melody Tent. Yeah. August something something. It's on the web. Is it on the website? Yeah. Also, my hat, this Madigan's Pubcast. Yep. Very new. Little snow cap or little hat as Americans, toque as Canadians would call it. Yes. Boom, available right now on the website. Yeah. It's quite warm. I love it. Because I'm freezing with this cold. There's 30.

[00:06:54] There's 30? We ordered 30. We ordered 30. Yep. All right. Well, go get them, termites. Just because... RFK. RFK. Just because it's on right now. I'm taping this late because I really didn't feel good yesterday. And I usually do it on Monday or Tuesday and here it is Wednesday, but whatever. Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders. So RFK. Okay. Well, first of all, Caroline Kennedy came out with this whole thing about him being

[00:07:23] a whack job. And whether you think so or not, I'm not getting into that. I'm just getting into the family dynamic of we have a cousin. I will not say his name. I made up a name on Twitter. I called him Cousin Mick. That is not his name. Everyone in the Madigan, McHugh, and Dempster families know the cousin. And it's that cousin. And when we say his name, we all go, oh, God. Like, what the fuck happened there? Or if it is a what the fuck, he was involved.

[00:07:54] It's cousin so and so. Well, she basically did a video saying he's that cousin. And if you're from a big family where you do a lot of things together and you live near one another, there's going to be that cousin. Well, he's it. And she's saying don't buy into this. Whatever. So today is the confirmation hearing and Bernie Sanders. So I guess RFK Jr. started some group and they have a website and they have onesies for babies that say like

[00:08:22] unvaxxed and proud. And it's all it. And the facts. So clearly, Bernie had had no idea what a onesie is. Right. Grandpa. No clue. He goes, these are onesies. These are tiny clothing for babies. Just to watch him say that. And then he was bombarding RFK Jr. with all these questions. He goes, do you or do you not support the onesie? That is the quote of the century.

[00:08:50] I can walk around this house saying it to myself and I make myself laugh. Just go, Kathleen, do you or do you not support the onesie? I have too much fun for one afternoon sitting there watching a hearing that I don't even really give a shit about. I should care because it involves Medicare and all that stuff. And I watch all that stuff happen with my dad. And it's a it works when it works and then when it doesn't, it just doesn't.

[00:09:20] But for the most part, it works. I don't think we should fuck with it too much. Medicare. Just saying. Yeah. Yeah. And don't forget, United States is the number one in world health care. That's why when foreign leaders get sick, they all get on a private jet and fly right here to the Mayo Clinic. So everybody seems to have forgotten we are doing some things right. I don't know how much. But anyway, let's move on to the weekend. Let's move on to. Well, I could have been arrested and I really kept my temper. Yeah. At the airport.

[00:09:53] Yeah. I you know. So I went to go get the real ID. It's supposed supposed to be on the way. Well, it's not here. And they give you a piece of paper with a barcode and they go, this is your license for now. Well, nobody's going to believe that shit. Good luck at the airport with that. I have a global entry card and I have a passport. So I brought them both. So I was leaving Phoenix on a red eye to get home for football. Yeah.

[00:10:18] And this mean TSA man goes, your global entry card. It doesn't read on my machine. Do you have any form of other form of identification? There's no one there, mind you. No one. It's empty. Like everything's closed. Yeah, it's it's 1130. Everything's closed. Can't even buy a bottle of water. It's closed. And I said, I do have another form of identification. But how come I got here on that? Right. It read on the machine in Nashville.

[00:10:48] It read on the machine in Spokane. It read. I just am curious. Never raised my voice. Never cussed. Cussed. I just really wanted to know. Right. Is it my card or is it the machine? And he goes, stand still and be quiet. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Irish. Like it's like that is like letting a chihuahua out of a cage like I can't and then try to rein myself in. And I'm the chihuahua going.

[00:11:17] I stay. First of all, I wasn't moving. Let's start. I'm standing here to code. Second of all, I asked a question. That's all I did was how come it doesn't work? Do you know if it's the machine or is it my card? I actually need to know. And then he's like, do you want a supervisor or do you want to pass and make your flight? Wow. So I now am told, I'm threatened by him that if I keep asking questions, he's going to make sure I don't make my flight. Wow. And I'm sorry, but I got a white football and had a lot of bets down.

[00:11:46] So I had a really, there was a lot going on in an Irish temper brain where I'm like, settle down, Smalls. You got to get home. You have too many bets on this to be stuck here in Phoenix for a whole nother day. But then I thought, well, my friend Heather would come back and get me and her mom's fun. And then I could just go and her kids are fun and they have a dog and I'll just go there and when Dax was coming home, I'll just go to their house and watch football. And then I'll just mouth off right now. Like the global entry card is supposed to be better than a driver's license.

[00:12:15] I had to give you like my eyeballs for that, like my actual eyes. I had an eye implant to get the global entry card. Oh, anyway, Spokane, tons of fun. The casino there, thumbs up, just thumbs up. Northern Quest, the Kalispell tribe. I've learned more about Native Americans from working in casinos than I did in my entire schooling. I just want to point that out. Like I, then I go Wikipedia, the tribe, and there's actually tribal members working there.

[00:12:44] It's all very, very interesting and fun and cool. And it's a, it's a very clean upscale, nice casino. So, um, yeah, thumbs up for that. And then Phoenix, uh, well Scottsdale technically. I got to see my friend Peter Costas and his wife Sandy. He's the golf guy. Yeah. Cause we've done charity things together. And, um, we went out to get Mexican food. Very nice. And I kept seeing the driverless cars. Waymo, big deal in Scottsdale area. Really?

[00:13:14] Everybody. I might, is it cause I'm old? I'm not getting in one. I've seen people get stuck. I, they get stuck. Yeah. People got stuck on a train track. One guy, the thing kept going in circles and couldn't get itself out of its own way. It just kept going in and he called, but I can't imagine what I'm supposed to call some 1-800 number. Hi, I'm in a white, uh, Honda that won't quit going in circles. You can't, he was going to miss his flight cause it just, it wasn't stopping. Wow. I don't know. I'm, I don't think I'm advanced enough as a human.

[00:13:42] I don't think I would. They took a driverless bus out of Scotland. None of them would get on it. I don't feel like asking the Irish to do it. No. Where's that driver? Fuck you. I'd go back to the bus. No. I'll sit here and wait for a ride and have another pint. Wait for a ride. Do you, or do you not support the onesie?

[00:14:11] And I love that he's like 87 years old. He just heard of that. Yeah. What is this called? It's tiny clothing for babies. Bernie, you have kids. Yeah. They're old. Yeah. Yeah. What else did you do in Scottsdale? Uh, Scottsdale. You went for brunch. I went for brunch at a place called Cala, I think it was called. It was really good. Who did you do? Cause I was like, oh shit, I went with Heather, my research assistant. Heather and her two kids and her mom, Karen, Dex's mom. It was very nice.

[00:14:40] Cause I was like, Ooh, I don't think I brought like fancy clothes, but it wasn't fancy. It was like casual, fun. Awesome. It was perfect. Yeah. And it was warm. It's been weeks since I've been warm. I still have my long underwear on at night in the desert though. Don't let that desert fool you. Listen, Midwest people. It's trickery. Yeah. In the day you think, Oh, this is good. And then at night you're like, Holy shit. Like going to the airport before my head almost exploded at TSA, stand still and be quiet. I don't think you can think of four words that would piss me off.

[00:15:10] No, especially since a not moving. Right. I haven't moved towards you. I didn't move by nothing. And I haven't, I'm so proud of myself when I don't cuss and I hadn't cussed. I didn't go, Oh shit. Like when the car didn't work. No, kept my little mouth shut. I kept my mouth shut till I got way out on the other side of TSA. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. And then I sat at the bar next to a lovely man from Arkansas who told me he got the better of them. It's a very long story.

[00:15:40] I won't go into it, but he was super nice and he knew all about Branson and Silver Dollar City. He was just a wonderful man. Yeah. Sometimes you sit next to cool people. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I got ordered a big hot pretzel and like two came and they were like, I mean like 18 Germans were going to show up and I go, you wouldn't happen to want a pretzel would you? And he actually ate it. Like a lot of people, a lot of people will be like, nah, nah. I go, no, I'm serious. I am not going to eat all this. He's like, well, I'm waiting on wings. I'm like, well, dude, I don't care. I don't, I don't care if you do or you don't just offering. Yeah.

[00:16:09] Here's some napkins. Super buttery. Yeah. Um, and then the football, the shows were great by the way, too. My friend shell who runs the, um, the casino talking stick. I love it. Oh, and my friend Ron was coming in his billboard is everywhere. So I took my picture in front of his picture and said, welcome back to the road. Cause all the, all of my old friends, they say they're going to retire and then they're bored. They're bored. And he's like, where are you?

[00:16:38] I'm like, where are you are working? Jack straw. He goes, where am I going there? He doesn't even know. I'm like, see, it says Ron white March 8th. That's you. You're going to need to be here. God. Um, that's a wonderful venue too. And so much fun. Um, it's everything about the casinos are fun. Yeah. The, the billboards, the crowds are great gambling.

[00:17:06] If I get there the night before, I did gamble the night before at the Spokane one and I won a jackpot and they, but they wouldn't accept my global entry card either. It was just a terrible travel day. Like nobody, God damn it. Do you know how hard this global entry, I had to go to a meeting with some person and go like that. Well, I was arrested when I was 21 cause I mowed off to a dog catcher. I mean, I did. I, well, I wasn't arrested. I had to turn myself in to be processed.

[00:17:35] Well, he didn't catch the dog and I don't think you can give me a ticket. If your only job, it says it on your fucking car, dog catcher. You didn't catch the dog. You just said, I saw your dog. And then my dad's lawyer side came out and my dad wasn't home. My mom, they weren't home. So I took over and I was 18. I was old enough to be arrested or whatever. And I was like, you cannot tell me you saw the dog's name was Smokey. You can't tell me you saw Smokey and you're going to give me a ticket based on an invisible product.

[00:18:04] You can smoke. He could be in the house for all I know. And I didn't know where Smokey was. And he did get out a lot and he would run over to the civic center cause the kids were over there. Like kids. So he would go over there and then he'd run back home. Little gray mutt thing, curly haired thing. And I just said, I'm not accepting your ticket because you don't have a dog. I declined. Decline this experience. I declined. I declined your existence. Well, that little rat bastard took a picture of my license plate.

[00:18:32] And then, and then, and my dad got a thing and he goes, did you have an encounter with a dog catcher? Cause there's, there's a warrant out for your arrest. And I said, well, then tell him it's a fugitive warrant. Cause I'm in Indiana at a comedy club in Indianapolis. And he said, well, I'll let him know. But I did have to go turn myself in. But anyway, that stuff expunges itself. My dad got rid of that, but that was a little lawyer bonus. I'm like, is this going to be on my record? Like I have a mug shot for mouth. It's always my mouth.

[00:19:01] It's always for mouthing off, but whatever. Yeah. That's all I've ever done in my whole life. But the meeting with the global entry people, we have to go through your whole life. And it's like, it's bullshit. And I mean, whatever, if you want it, I'll do it. But then the card fucking, you should have seen the ladies looking face and spoke at. She's like, what's this? I'm like, it's the only, do you want my Tennessee piece of paper? This guy handed me and went, here's your license.

[00:19:29] And I actually said to him, I go, dude, that ain't going to work. Nobody's going to, it's got a barcode. That's not really scannable. Anyway, enough of my whining. Enough of my grabbing. How are you arrested? If you want to try out Waymo, make sure you get your ass to Scottsdale. Because there's tons of them. And it's so creepy to see one like pull up in front of the hotel and there's no driver. It's fascinating. It's crazy. But it's also like, whoa, I don't know. I don't know.

[00:19:59] Football. Let's talk about it just for a minute. Everybody wants football. Everybody wants football. Well, the Redskins, I said earlier. Now call the commanders. Oh, sorry. Right. Commanders. Sorry. I can't. They're going to change your name again. It's terrible. You can't. You can't. The commanders. Right. Even Lewis hates it and he's the, and Andrew Hendrick, Andy Hendrickson, funny comedian. He was, um, he was with me all weekend, um, opening the show.

[00:20:27] He is the only second person on earth I've ever met that is a commanders fan. Yeah. I don't know. He grew up in Virginia. I don't either. Lewis and him. That's all I know. And then Lewis goes for the Orioles because Baltimore, he was a halfway Lewis grew up halfway between Baltimore and DC. And the only two Baltimore fans, Oriole fans I know. And I do not know her personally is Joan Jett is one and Lewis. I told Lewis, you should call. You'll be able to throw out the first pitch. There's no one else.

[00:20:57] There's no one else. There's no one else asking. You could probably just be a regular person to call without having any celebrity attachment to your name. Just say I'm a really good eye doctor. All right. Sure. Come on in. Yeah. Um, uh, they Jaden's great. They just, they, they're just not there yet. They're not sophisticated enough. I did say earlier in this podcast, if you pay attention, those Eagles are sneaky. Those Eagles are sneaky.

[00:21:22] I took them all the way in the, um, my NFC bracket, but I'm still getting, getting killed. I'm smoked out of that one. I am smoked. Um, but we're going to do Superbowl squares. We got all kinds of plans for that. And yeah, there's people complaining about people's names that they've chosen for their blocks. Yeah. Yeah. There's a super woke person that's very mad about, uh, a name that Lewis approved. Right. It has something to do with being Jewish.

[00:21:52] It's very funny. I think we're all going to go the worst you can think names to put like about ourselves though. Not about other people. I have to sign up. Is there any more squares? There's a lot of squares left. Yeah. Yeah. So yes, you can be, you can be them on the Madigan clan side. Yeah. We need to beat the McHugh's and the door.

[00:22:22] And Kansas city. You want to be baby seal clubber? Yeah. Okay. As a Canadian, but even that's very, we're editing that out. I can't deal with that male and you're not even, uh, uh, uh, what'd you call it? No, no, no, not cause I'm just going to say another slur. Uh, Inuit. No, you're not, you're not indigenous. No, no.

[00:22:55] Any whom the chiefs, let's talk about it. Now here's the thing. I'm so sick of the cry baby ranch whining. Everybody's saying it's rigged for the chiefs. And then Bill Burr's like, well, it's massage. All the words you want to use. If all you guys believe that, and I don't know, here's what I do know. I'm not confident enough to bet on that. So is it really happening or is it just, you think it's happening? Because here's the thing.

[00:23:24] So when you bet, if you say I bet the money line, that means you just made a bet on who is going to win. There's no point spreads involved. There's no strings attached. It's just, here's two teams who will win. That is called the money line. Had you bet the money line every week, the chiefs were 15 and two, you would have been bet $1,700 total. You only lost two games. I'm good at math when it comes to gambling. You that's $200. You would have $1,500 extra. Yeah.

[00:23:54] So all you mouthy people that are so certain that this is all rigged and fixed rigged massage, whatever the fuck you want to call it. Put your money where your mouth is. I wish I, I really do wish I was that confident. And I, I, I wouldn't have minded if Buffalo one, because I love the city of Buffalo. And I do understand everybody's tired. We all got tired of Tom Brady. We all get tired of a bit looking at Bill Belichick, but it get, you want people get to a throne and you naturally want to knock them off.

[00:24:23] But the whining, the whining. Oh my God. Yeah. Like it's got to stop. So, Oh, my brother's mad that they show Taylor so much. And he's like, Oh, they really, they don't except when they score. And here's the thing. Um, he's like, well, then the NFL is making money off that. How Pat? Right. Oh, we got into it. I go, he goes, advertise.

[00:24:49] I know advertisers don't care about teenagers and they don't care about little kids and they barely care about women. Trust me. I had to sit in, in these meetings. You know what they care about? 18 to 25 year old males. I, if that's what comedy century get, that's what comedy central cares about. That was their advertising. Boom. Because the today show women, probably 30 to 70 that the group of Tay Tay ones, because the buying power of that group isn't very substantial. They don't care.

[00:25:19] So it's not the advertising money. I said merch for sure. They made a lot of money on merch, but that's the chiefs really making that. That's not maybe the NFL too. I guess. I don't know how they split that up. Whatever. Yeah. All right. King and queen news. We're moving on. It's going to be the Eagles against the chiefs. And I say, my prediction is the chiefs are going to win and everybody's going to whine. Um, oh yeah. I bet my builder, Mike, he lost again.

[00:25:48] Mike needs to attend my gambling Ted talks. He doesn't, sometimes Mike doesn't, I don't think Mike understands spreads. Oh. Like I said, chiefs by three and I actually nailed it. It actually was three points. No. I said three or more. And then he wrote back, I'll take chiefs by one. Oh, Mike. Oh. No, Mike. Mike, you take the under the three. So it could be two or three times. Is it push? He needs to come to my, yeah, I can't do this to a man who doesn't have the information.

[00:26:17] So, um, um, I'm going to bet on the chiefs and I'm going to say the chiefs by five. Five. Weird, right? Interesting. It's a weird line. Why five? I don't know. I don't set my lines according to math. I set my lines according to feelings, feelings. Oh, good. So much. Yeah. I don't know if they can stop Saquon, but I just, Andy Reed brought, brought the Eagles

[00:26:44] a super bowl and I think he will take one with him on the way out. I think the chiefs. Chiefs. Yeah. What is the current line? I can't believe I had this Sunday. I have to sit here with no football three and a half. Yeah. Well then I'm going over. I'm going over. Uh, King and. Oh, well over. I can't, that's part of my Ted talk.

[00:27:14] I haven't organized it yet. No problem. Ted talk. Chapel Rowan. The Grammys are coming up this Sunday. No, my Ted talk for gambling. Yeah. Well, and then now I'm announcing Queen King news. Mm-hmm. The court. Who's here? Dolly. Yeah. Okay. So this is crazy. If you go to her hotel in, uh, Gatlinburg. Mm-hmm.

[00:27:43] Well, Sevierville. It's not really technically. It's technically in Sevierville. She has a time capsule. What? And you can see it. Yeah. It's like a. Oh, right. Yeah. It looks like the, um, what was it? Raiders of the Lost Ark. It looks like that. I didn't see that. Really? I'll put it in the show notes. Like a. You look really upset that I haven't seen that. Well, I was hoping you'd know, remember what it's called. The thing. Hang on. Um, the Ark. The Lost Ark.

[00:28:13] I don't think I really. It's in the title. I don't think I really ever watched it either. Uh. Honestly. I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's a golden box. Yeah. The Ark of the Covenant. Ark of the Covenant. Oh, yeah. That's the religious thing. Right. Okay. Or a golden box. Golden box. Why not? Dolly Parton is having a tough time keeping her secret song a secret on a recent episode of the Kelly Clarkson show. Shout out to my friend, Bob research assistant who works there.

[00:28:43] Uh, she confirmed that she recorded a tune that no one will be able to hear till 2024 when her dream box time capsule at Dollywood is finally opened. 2024. I'm sorry, 2045. Ah. Yeah. Yeah. I've written a song that nobody's gonna hear till I'm 99 years old. Oh. I saw the box and they tell you everything that's in it and that there's a song in there. Cool. Yeah, but now she's mad because she thinks it's too good to be locked up. She wants to write a shittier song and switch it out. And I'm like, but you can do that. You're Dolly. It's your golden box. It's your golden box.

[00:29:12] Yeah, you can do whatever you want. She goes, you have no idea how much it's bothered me. I want to dig that up so bad. I don't know whose damn idea it was. It was hers. It was all yours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so she's a little upset about that. Okay. Her on Broadway musical is going to open in Nashville, Tennessee at Belmont University this summer. Nice. Yes, I will be attending. I don't really know how much I care about a musical about Dolly's life because I feel like I know it. Right.

[00:29:42] Um, you know, we all kind of know the story, right? You've seen Coat of Many Colors. I've seen Coat of Many Colors. Yeah. Chapel's getting ready for the Grammys. I don't, Tay Tay's been nominated. I think she's, she's performing. She's going. Yeah. Then will Travis get to go? She's not going to go to Travis. No. No. He's got to go to his practice. He's got to practice. Yeah. Tommy Salami. Um, is he doing the Super Bowl? Oh, Lord. The world will explode. Oh my gosh. Snoop, quiet. Jelly.

[00:30:13] Um, Jelly's going to the waste management, a golf tournament. Cher, very quiet. Very quiet. Something's going on. Stevie's quiet too. Although somebody in Phoenix told me they saw her at the grocery store at a grocery store called AJ's, which I guess is high end. Nice. She does her own grocery store. I'm shocked that an assistant didn't run down there, but maybe they're used to seeing her because she's been there for so long. Yeah. She's been there for years and years and years. Yep. Um, I, yeah, well, who doesn't want to pick out their own tomatoes?

[00:30:43] I do. Yeah. That's why I don't trust the delivery bullshit update. This is so sad. Okay. It breaks my heart. The last four escape monkeys are captured in South Carolina after months on the loose. I know they had a taste of freedom. Um, yeah, they, they've got the last four. They tricked them with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Oh, they were tempted into can't buy peanut butter.

[00:31:11] They're all females made a break for it. We know the history. If you listen to this podcast. Yeah. Um, and that's sad cause they had two, they had two and a half months out of freedom. Maybe they're hungry. Well, they didn't like the blizzard. I'm sure they didn't. No, they didn't know how to deal with that. Um, yeah. So that's the end of that story. Sadly, I was hoping four would make a life on their own and just have a wonderful life of freedom. There's too many alligators.

[00:31:41] The Elliott monkeys stay high up in the trees. They don't, the alligators don't go by. No, no, no. They don't know. Update. Utah hockey club. Yeah. They're trying to find a name. Yeah. It shouldn't be this hard. I like their uniform so far. Yeah. I like them a lot. Um, and they have cheap beer at this place. So that's a, that's a plus. The first name they submitted was Yeti, the Utah Yetis. Well, the applications rejected. Right.

[00:32:10] Because people are saying we're going to confuse it with the brand of coolers. That's very established. Right. So Utah hockey clubs path to securing its official team name has gotten a bit harder. The United States patent and trademark already rejected six of the names that the team filed under intent to use applications back in April. Notably, the list include the Utah Yetis, Yeti and Yetis, which is known as a, as a fan and organization favorite. Where do they go from here? Blah, blah, blah.

[00:32:39] Um, it's not the end. They have three months to appeal. It's not going to win. Yeti is too much of a brand itself. Like you can't do that. Um, well, I mean, are you could do, um, Sasquatch, but because of the snow in Utah, they want to say Yeti. Right. You could do. The polygamous. The polygamous. Yeah. Seven wives. Yeah. The Utah seven wives. Exactly. Nope. I, I think nobody has taken Javelinas and it's there for the taken.

[00:33:08] Of course there are. You could Google that. It's, it's part desert. Well, no, no white people that don't speak English can spell Javelina. I would like to say that. Well, hockey fans are pretty white for sure. Yeah. Well, then there, we're going to educate some people. It's a J. It took me till I was 28 to learn all that because I was looking for La Jolla and all I saw was La Jolla.

[00:33:36] And I'm like, Oh, I've passed La Jolla, but I ain't seen no La Jolla. Fuck you. These directions are wrong. That's before there was a phones and I had to use a map. Google, are there Javelinas in Utah? It doesn't matter. Why not? Then you have the, you have that little mean pig as your guy. I don't care about white people spelling. I don't care. They need to learn. Catch up.

[00:34:02] Spanish is going to be the number one language in the whole globe within 40 years anyway. Utah. Javelinas. They are invasive. They travel in gangs. No, they gotta be out in Utah. No, they're out. Well, there's enough. They're encouraging.

[00:34:32] Hunting them. They're encouraging. Or something with skiing or I don't know, but you can't take something that already exists. Utah, you can do better. I feel it. Right to your congressman. Right to your congressman. Nobody knows who their congressmen are. Who's senator? There's a second senator from Vermont. I don't even know what his name is. And I'm like, this guy never gets any press because Bernie's the quote other senator from Vermont. Do you or do you not support the onesie? Answer my question.

[00:35:03] Tell me about the onesie. Trying to hear something about our rioters on January 6th. This is an update. Update. Boise woman guilty in a Capitol riot rejects Trump's pardon. What? Yeah. I didn't hear about that. Yeah. An older lady, Pam Hemphill. Yeah, I'm going to tell you what she did. Okay.

[00:35:32] It's nice to hear. When Jimmy Carter died, I think I got so sad because I'm like, there's just not a lot of good people left anymore. No. That do the right thing for the right reason. Nope. So every once in a while, this lady's 71 years old. Wow. She was nicknamed the MAGA Granny. She rejected her pardon. Accepting the pardon would be an insult to the Capitol Police officers, to the rule of law in our nation. She told the Idaho statesman. The criminals are trying to rewrite history by saying that it was not a riot and it wasn't an insurrection.

[00:36:01] I don't want to be part of their trying to rewrite anything of what happened that day. Okay. Yeah. Wow. She said it was absolutely both of those. She spent two months in jail and three months, she gets three years of probation and a $500 fine. Wow. She has clear memories of the day. Damn right, I did it. Yeah. She streamed much of what was happening that day. Then she eventually found herself in a dangerous situation as the crowd grew more violent.

[00:36:31] Wow. They stepped on me, threw me down, cut my knee, broke my glasses, stepped on my head. The officers pulled me up and put me behind them. So the officers helped her while the other ones, she's 71 years old, getting trampled. That's horrible. That's horrible. So, good for her. Yeah. Yeah. That's rare. Let's do another update. Yeah, it is close to the end of her life. She's sick too on top of it. Okay.

[00:37:01] Starbucks. Oh my. It has begun. Here we go. It has begun. First of all, the new chief CEO, Brian Nichol, Starbucks paid about $96 million for four months of work last year. One of the biggest compensation packages in corporate America. About 94% of his pay came from stock awards according to- Wait, that's his pay? Yeah. Oh! Right. Oh! This is crazy town. Wow. Yeah.

[00:37:30] He got a $5 million bonus after one month, his one month anniversary. That's crazy. Yeah. They paid more than $143,000 in housing expenses, half of which were tax-related payments. Also spent about $72 grand flying between his home in Southern California, Seattle, and $19,000 related to personal use of company aircraft. Oh. Oh. His annual package is valued to be at $113 million at the time of his hiring, with a large part tied to equity to replace awards from his prior employer, the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[00:38:01] Well, it started on Monday. Yes. So now if you go in and you don't buy something, this is where we're going to expect the coffee maker or barista people to also become bouncers. Mm-hmm. If you don't buy something, they got to bounce your ass out. But also, now they're writing your name back on the cup and they move the sugar and all that out there to make you feel welcome. A lot of mixed messages. Here's the, here's right. You know what?

[00:38:26] Everybody gets one of those old timey game, uh, sand things. We measure it when that sand is gone. You're gone. You're gone. You're gone. Um, but you know, who's going to make them go? How long until the fighting starts? It only started on Monday and here's the problem. Starbucks. You fed the feral cats. You, yeah, look at that. Look at that one. You think that one's leaving

[00:38:52] without purchase? She's got her own blanket, her own chair, scratching posts, electric toys. I mean, a heated house outside. God forbid she stays out for the night. Oh, Starbucks. You fed the cats and now the cats have encroached and now you're going to try to kick the feral cats out. And guess what? One of them will scratch your eyes out. It's just how it goes.

[00:39:21] You can't pick it up. Her name is Kato in this household. Um, holy shit. They stole it. Yeah. I switched it up a little bit because I can't believe people are this old school doing this. Four ancient gold artifacts were stolen from a Dutch museum in an overnight raid in the early hours of Saturday morning. This is his past Saturday. Thieves use explosives to blast their

[00:39:50] way into the Drent's museum in Asan, which was hosting an exhibit exhibition of priceless Romanian jewelry made of gold and silver. They left with three decanian spiral bracelets and the exhibit's central piece, the strikingly decorated helmet of Cotofensi, which was all crafted almost 2,500 years ago. You should see this thing they got away with. Romania's ministry of culture has promised to take all possible steps to recover the stolen items, which have been loaned to the

[00:40:19] Dutch museum from Buccaraz. The museum said they were intensely shocked by the burglary, which he said was the biggest incident in its 170 year history. They were called to the cops were called after reports of explosion at 345. So the 345 in the morning, these people took it like, who's still doing this? It's so old school. Yeah. Let's go steal the art, the jewels. Let's get to, we'll blow up the back door and then we'll run in. I can't believe people, and they, they did it.

[00:40:46] They got away with it. But then here's what, my next question, what did we do with this? Right. Can't put it on eBay. Can't put it on Craigslist. What are we doing? Oh yeah, it's true. A buyer already that sent them on the mission. What's that guy going to do? What's that guy, girl, woman? Just, just who the fuck specifically wants the strikingly decorated

[00:41:13] helmet of Cotto Fenesti? No one. Nobody knows that. Nobody knows that. No one knows that. No. Um, they also took four archaeological masterpieces. Um, three, oh yeah. Okay. That includes the helmet. Yeah. So I just, it makes me laugh that people are doing old school crimes

[00:41:39] like that. And I like it. Yeah. I like the title change. Good job. Well, also I do have a, holy shit, they found it. This is mostly, you just got to go look at it. Okay. Um, a full albino white deer in North Carolina. One in 30,000. Yep. Rare white deer was spotted on our side of the road in Greensboro, North Carolina, Saturday, January 19th, North Carolina, woman named Amanda captured this video of the albino deer described it as so special. You just got to go

[00:42:08] look at it. It's not, it's not a great story as much as is a fascinating video. It's she's the deer is so pretty. If they were all that, Oh my God, at Christmas, if they were all that color. Yeah. Yeah. Cause the tan ones kind of get lost in the mix. But if you had your yard that was still green and no snow and then white deer, cause well, I have like five a day. I have tiny herds.

[00:42:30] It's a herd. It's a herd. I do not feed them. I think there's a lot more now because they're building a subdivision right down the road and they cut down a bunch of trees and the woods. And I think now this is their woods. Yeah. It's getting smaller and smaller. That's why I put my Christmas tree out there. I give them a little, some extra brush over there. Yeah. They like it.

[00:42:57] Moving on to news. Moving on to news. Got a lot of great stories. Oh my gosh. When are people going to stop ripping off Bucky's? Bucky's. Bucky's lawyers are so busy. There's a gas station in Dallas. Yeah. And the, their logo. Yes. Um, they have a smiling dog placed neatly in a circle,

[00:43:24] just like the beaver, except it's a dog. It's adorable. It's called super fuels. That's the gas station, which has two convenience stores in Dallas and another in Irving first started using its friendly animal logo in late 2022 in it. A brown dog wearing a red cape is seen smiling in front of a blue background. Bucky says it mimics their own popular logo of a beaver in a red cape with a yellow. Yes, absolutely. I don't know. They're going to lose. And then what? Now you spent all that money

[00:43:52] on signage and you're going to lose. Right. Yep. Yep. I don't know how people, how much did that? And speaking of Bucky's, by the way, it made me laugh in Atlanta. Um, the Detroit Pistons were playing Atlanta and they all went into a Bucky's the whole team. Yeah. They got off the team bus. How fun would that be if you're in Bucky's and cause they're all enormous, like some five, six foot and it should. Yeah. It would have been completely, um, fun to see. Um, we're going

[00:44:21] to move on to a little travel news. God, lots of travel news. I really like your hat. Thank you. JetBlue. Yep. Oh boy. Do you or do you not support the onesie? JetBlue now accepts Venmo payments to book your flight. Are you kidding? Um, well, especially I'm bad at it. Kathleen, we received your pizza money.

[00:44:51] Yeah. Um, well shit. I thought I Venmo. Yeah. They can use, they're the first one to accept payments through the, um, purchases through the payment app. The option to pay for flights of Venmo will roll out on its mobile app in coming months. I don't know about this. Wow. I don't know. Would you do it? No. I wouldn't either. No. You got to use a credit

[00:45:16] card. Um, oftentimes you just for peer to peer. Yeah. It's to send your kid 30 bucks. It's not. Yeah. I don't know. I send a lot of gambling money that way. Well, not payments. I send my entry fees into like, if you buy a Superbowl square and then we make up funny things. Yeah. Um,

[00:45:46] I don't know what guess who's opening from Morgan Wallen in Seattle. I don't know. Miranda Lambert and Wilson. He's crazy. You can't have Ann Wilson, the queen of Seattle.

[00:46:13] No. Jesus go for, you have to let her headline. You just have to, you just have to go. That's my part of the show. And now here, please enjoy Ann Wilson. And although I don't know that his crowd, they're so young. She's still the queen of Seattle. Jesus in her hometown with nothing else. Holy Christ. Oh, wow. That's who's thinking all that. Oh, this is my favorite travel story.

[00:46:44] Spirit Airlines. We all know how I feel about spirit. They're revising their passenger conduct rules with new dress code restrictions. Really? Oh no, that's part of it. Yes. Well, I got to say, now here's my thoughts. Like I'm never offended. I'm never offended by anything. Sometimes I think it's

[00:47:13] gross. Like I was on a flight where it was all college football fans, young guys, and they had on the Tennessee checkered orange overalls. And some of them didn't have shirts on under the over. I'm like, well, listen, I know in that shitty little gym bag that you're ratting around here, like a little pig. I know you have a t-shirt on there. Put the, can you put the shirt on for the flight? It's just gross to me, but I'm not like offended. Some of the people that show up at spirit,

[00:47:38] I mean, these are crop tops with the tightest workout pants and you can literally see half their ass. I, again, you know what my initial thought is? You're going to be so cold on this plane. That's all I think is you're going to be freezing. How are you not cold? I'm cold standing here in a coat. Check. Well, here's what's happening. They've revised its contract of carriage. Oh, it's a contract of carriage to include updated guidelines for passengers, conduct,

[00:48:08] and attire, including detailed dress code, prohibiting provocative or inappropriate clothing. The changes are effective as of January 22nd. So last week, yeah, they provide, and then again, who's going to enforce this and how many fights are going to happen and how much bullshit you, you call yourself a discount airline. You did a dog whistle for everybody that's just going to show

[00:48:32] up for 58 bucks. Well, here you go. Right. Um, here's some, you can't wear see-through clothing, not adequately covered, exposed breasts, buttocks, or other private parts. Huh. That seems to be sexist. It's also tattoos or body art that is lewd, obscene, or offensive in nature. Come on. Let's define offensive to whom?

[00:49:00] Oh, here we go. Exactly. I don't find it offensive. You may find it offensive. I don't find it as, I don't think that's obscene. You think that's obscene. What, who, who is the cop of the, the moral police here? Right. You're also prohibited from being barefoot. They had to put that in writing. And the only reason you put things in writing is because somebody did it. That's the, the new dress code is part of the, oh wow. Here's reasons you can be, uh, denied boarding or removed

[00:49:30] disorderly, abusive or violent behavior that creates an unreasonable risk of offense or annoyance to others. Intoxication or drug use. Okay. I have seen a couple of people removed because of vaping because they think that it's doesn't smell and they think they can get away with it. To all my little vapor friends out there, everyone will know just cause you think you, you don't smell your strawberry cloud anymore because you live in your strawberry cloud. But the rest of us, like,

[00:49:57] I don't care about smoke. I don't care about any of that. But the flavored ones where I'm always like, Ooh, blueberry muffins for everyone. I don't care about it, but yeah, I'm just saying vapor kids be alert. They they'll know, um, behaviors perceived as a security threat or risk of harm to others, the airline or property. Contagious diseases, transmissible during the flights are just chicken pox. Who's going to decide if I have chicken pox? The Starbucks barista.

[00:50:25] The Starbucks barista. You know what you need is you need some nuns on these flights because the nuns told me, I, my mom tried to send us back twice early and they're like, no, you still have chicken pox. And I had to walk back home and go busted. Um, refusal or inability to fasten a seatbelt during the flight. Offensive odors and less caused by a disability. Inability. Inability to fasten a seat.

[00:50:51] Well, you're too drunk or you're too heavy. Yeah. Well, they probably don't have extensions on spirit because those are an extra dollar. They probably charge you. Oh, are you overweight? Do you want an extension? It's an extra $25. Did you check? Yes. When you checked in, when you, can you Venmo me

[00:51:09] $25 right now? Speaking of shit shows, as long as we're in the travel, um, I got a cold on American. I blame them. No, if I was on spirit, I'd probably have tuberculosis. It's on the, it's on the rise in Kansas right now. I saw a thing. Um, I know my mom used to work in a TB ward. We had, we had extra

[00:51:39] gotten rid of TB. Yeah. Tuberculosis was gone. It's back. That's right. Yeah. She worked on the TB ward forever. Um, this is who wants to buy a casino? Well, buy a casino. No. How about $5 billion? Do you have five, five billion for circus circus circus circus circus circus is so it is a

[00:52:06] dumpster fire. It's just gross. Like, and I go down there every now and then cause I know I'm going next time. So I'm working in Vegas in August. It's not been announced, whatever, but I know I am and I'm totally going over to circus circus. Um, and I'm going to take all the pictures because it's going to be gone. Um, it should be gone though. It should be wrecked. Here's what I didn't know. There's a few things interesting in this article. So if you've ever been to Vegas, it's on the main strip. It was, it does really have all the circus theme things in it. Also only casino in Las Vegas

[00:52:34] that has RV parking available in the back. So yeah. Um, it's officially up for grabs. Owner Phil Ruffin seems to think it's worth a cool five times what he paid in 2019. He's only owned it since then. Um, he owns treasure Island that needs a facelift something terrible. The what they don't even have the fight out in the boats anymore. The pirate fight. They don't, I haven't seen it in

[00:53:01] forever. The drag shows in senior frogs. It's really good. It's the RuPaul's. Yeah, it's fun. Um, it's a good brunch. Um, yeah, I liked it. Well, you should have made yourself a scrambled egg taco. I did. It was good back at the back bar. They got, you make yourself

[00:53:24] a breakfast taco. Well, I should have told you, um, he owns treasure Island and he also snags a circus circus from MGM, uh, in 2019 for 825 million. Now he claims it's worth 5 billion. Phil simmered on a little bit here. You might, maybe you'll get to, um, no, no, no, no, no,

[00:53:48] uh, circus surface often called rundown with questionable cleanliness in its rooms, but the diehard fans appreciate the affordable pros prices and throwback five. And honestly at $25 a night, that's what the church, are you kidding? No. What are you expecting? The Venetian? That's where I work. Just saying even motel six isn't hitting those rates. Personally, I wouldn't stay there or motel six, but as a Vegas local admit, it's fun to pop into the

[00:54:16] casino from now and then for the experience. It's 57 years old circus circus. Um, um, many think his valuation is absurd. I do too, except it has 127 acres. That is insane. Yeah. Um, it's a teardown. There's no fix in that. There's just no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[00:54:41] no. Um, people love the, the, the, here's what they do. Well, they have $2 beer, $2 hot dogs, $2 pop goes people love it. A guy can eat and drink for six bucks. Um, but I mean, is it really worth 5 billion? Probably not. He's poured a modest 30 million over the past five years, but any buyer would need to spend significantly new to build significantly more to build something new still with interest from buyers, blah, blah, blah. It's, I mean,

[00:55:10] 127 acres on the strip. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I'll have to call my friend, Ron. He'll know what it's worth. And the MGM by the way is undergoing a $300 million refurbishment of its rooms. Long overdue. May I add, I used to work down there a hundred years ago. Me and my mom stayed there. Um, I don't even know what it's like anymore. I have to ask my friend Michael Somerville. I think he still stays there. They're going to redesign 4,212 rooms and they're going to be done by December

[00:55:37] 2025. See, when you put your mind to it, yeah, shit can get done. Um, um, I remember in the beginning they put the big lion out front and then they had to move it because the, the Asian gamblers from Asian countries wouldn't walk in it because they thought it was bad feng shui to walk into the mouth of a lion and that you were going to get eaten. They moved the whole entire entrance to the back. So you went out through the lion's mouth. Cause like the third time I went, I'm like, Oh,

[00:56:07] where'd the lion go? Right. I thought it was awesome, but I didn't know the feng shui. Wow. Lion's taking the entrance to it. Uh, yeah. Um, hold on the all. Yeah. So there you go. If you want to see the redone MGM, you can get there on your way. Here's some breaking news. We'll get out of the, um, travel, uh,

[00:56:30] touristy thing for a hot minute. They're raising the price to climb Mount Everest for your permit fee by more than 35% making the world's tallest peak, more expensive for mountaineers. Okay. Here's the thing. Too many people are up there. Too many people are dying. Blah, blah, blah. But I don't want it to become just a rich person sport either. So if you keep doing what it should be is you should have

[00:56:57] to present like, I shouldn't be able to just buy my way into that. I'm, I will kill someone. I won't make it out. I won't make it to base camp. I mean, there's just no, I can't do the cold, but let's say, say you're a, uh, you think you're a good climber, but you're just average. You're going to end up hurting someone else or the Sherpa. The Sherpa has got to save your stupid ass that I'll never forget that socialite idiot. Um, then they had a drag her all the way down the mountain.

[00:57:23] Um, I think you should have to present resumes and like proof that you know what you're doing. I don't know how we do that. Maybe there's a test. You go to a mountain by you, whatever that is, the closest one to you. Well, well, no, it has to be a certain amount of feet. We set a standard

[00:57:45] and say, and it has to be cold. And yeah, um, uh, income from permanent fees and other spending by foreign climbers is a key source of revenue employment for cash strapped nation, um, home to the world's 14th, uh, 14 Hyatt mountains, including Mount Everest. A permit will cost 15 grand announcing a 36% rise in the 11,000 fee that's been in place for nearly a decade. That's too cheap.

[00:58:15] I mean, if you're going to do it once in your life, you save up all your money. I get it. And if you're really good at it, you submit your application, you submit, and then you do it. But these people that do it for fucking Instagram, right? Um, I don't know if this is, this isn't enough to just raise the price. Ain't going to do it. Rich people to a rich person, 11 grand, 15 grand. I don't give a shit. It's the same amount. Don't care. They're going. Yep. Um, the less popular

[00:58:43] September, November season, they rarely climb up above. They'll also increase that. So there, if you're planning on it, plan on climbing Everest, um, save up prices are going up. It's not going to be enough though to stop what they are. Uh, speaking of raising prices, Netflix. Yeah. The monthly rate spiking as high as 25 bucks after surge in new users. Are you going to do it people?

[00:59:11] Yes. Like me and Patrick were saying his streaming now, the amount of apps he's paying for, it's more than his old cable bill. What have we all done to ourselves? I don't even know what mine is. Mine's probably like a million dollars a month. Cause I still, I still have direct TV cause I like the format. And then I like YouTube for the football. So I bought that. And then I bought all the apps and I probably bought them twice. I'm going to get that thing. They advertise

[00:59:41] with those children go, Hey, do you see how many apps you have? Hey, whatever that one is. I'm like, I need that. See, I'm buying something else now to fix the problem. I could just sit down and try to figure out, but who wants to do that? That's a buzzkill. Not when the RFK junior hearing is on and Bernie's going to do you or do you, or do you not support the onesie?

[01:00:09] Netflix is lowest cost ad support tier will increase by a dollar from 699 to 799. The ad free tier is going to increase from 17. Uh, the increase is greater at 1799 up from 1549. And for the premium one without ads, you're going to go from 2299 to 2499. Additionally, these increases take effect in the subscribers next billing cycle. So it's a fairly immediate uptick. What do we say people?

[01:00:39] It's $2, but it's all the time. My special's on it. I can't yell at them. No, no, no, no. As my dad would say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[01:01:03] Hello. My name is Kathleen Medica. I'm the, there's many, but I'm the one. I'll send you a picture right now of me. I'll take a selfie. Ready? Here it is. Of bothering Jesus. This one's too hard right now. Yeah. We're going to do that as travel next week. Idaho. Let's talk about your violence for a

[01:01:24] moment. They're considering the archaic execution practice, uh, as a primary killing. They're, they're considering the firing squad as the primary method of killing prisoners after lethal injection fails. They can't find veins on people and it's going on and on and on. Nobody can ever find my vein. If I go to the doctor, except one specific lady named Kenya. So if I had to be killed by the

[01:01:52] government, I would have to demand that Kenya would come. Otherwise I I'm like, I need a butterfly needle. What are you doing? What? Come on. Come on. Do you have a kid's one? I don't have any veins. That's why I'm always cold. I have no circulation. Well, I always thought a firing squad would be better anyway than the electric chair. Yeah. Um, they keep failing at killing

[01:02:19] people. My friend Chuck's got a great joke about that. Um, yeah, I won't say it cause you may not want me to. He likes it. It's a great joke. Um, this is one of their representatives induced a bill on Tuesday that make Idaho the only state that makes a firing squad. It's primary mode of carrying out the death penalty. Uh huh. How do we feel about that? Um, it's because in 2024, February, a guy was

[01:02:48] scheduled to be executed by lethal injection, but medics failed to find a vein after eight attempts. What? Shit. I've gone through that. And then I say, I demand Kenya or I'm leaving. And then they do it. I'm leaving. He's still alive. That guy. Um, yeah. Four other states allow the firing squad, but none of them consider it their primary method. Yeah. I don't know which states it doesn't say.

[01:03:18] Um, Utah was the last state to use the firing squad. Uh, oh, he was strapped in a chair. Oh, Ronnie Gardner and shot to death in 2010. Uh huh. You got to choose back then between lethal injection and firing squad. If you're going to be shot, well, they probably don't want you running around a room and we got to shoot you like a duck in a video game. I mean, you know, well, I mean,

[01:03:45] come on. I know you love the death penalty. I think it should be up to the victim's family, whether you kill them or not. They should have to go to prison no matter what, but if you want to kill them, um, since Gardner was sentenced for the eight, this guy, he chose the firing squad and they said no lethal injection. Now they fucked that up. So now maybe they have to do it.

[01:04:08] Uh, the electric chair. Guess who's doing that? Tennessee as of 2020 fried a guy right in the electric chair. Yeah. What are we doing here? What about that Brian kid who probably killed those college kids? Is he going to get the death penalty? I know it goes on so long. Watch botch lethal

[01:04:34] injections. Well, I don't know. Idahoans. How do we feel about this? What Idaho? Idaho, Idaho. Um, this is kind of the cold medicines to you. So this is kind of sad. Um, Bloomingdale's has announced it will shut its flagship store in the struggling San Francisco center mall. It marks the end of the department stores chain for nearly two decades on market

[01:05:03] street. Bosses blame change changes in the retail landscape. Yeah. But it's also cause that area is getting crazy down there. Nobody wants to go shopping down there anymore. Myself included. It's too crazy. There's too many homeless people that are crazy. Like not, not your normal homeless people like crazy, crazy. It's going to close at the end of the March, leaving the embattled mall

[01:05:23] without its last major anchor tenant. So you know what I manifest? Sure. Downtown San Francisco. Why not? Well, there are a lot of ghost ships. Yeah. So I don't know if there's enough people. You just proposed another failing idea.

[01:05:46] Well, maybe it should be housing. I think they should take all malls and start with people like around my age and say, we're going to recreate cause we grew up in malls. We're love, we love them all. My age group. Yeah. And I want Tiffany to perform. Okay. I think I'm alone now. It doesn't seem to me

[01:06:11] anyone around now. We go live in the mall. You take the anchor stores, Dillard's, Bloomingdale's, whatever they were, famous bar, and you make those apartments for old people. And then we have a food court. He's following my fifties line of thinking here. And then we can walk like mall walkers. But, and then the stores that are in there, we replace them, the things that people, old people,

[01:06:36] like we want a Walgreens or a CVS, whatever, a drug store. There should be an urgent care hearing aid place. I got it. This is what we do with it. Creative. It's like a, not an old people housing. What do they call that? I don't know. Not a nursing home. Res it. I don't know.

[01:07:00] 50, 50 forward. There's one by my house called 50 forward. 50 forward. We're 50 and we're moving forward. We're doing, yeah. That looks fine. I'm not retired, but, but would I go live in a mall? And then you'd have all the people your own age. You can make friends, go to the food court. I love the food court. Who doesn't love a food court? New York fries. Yeah. Remember New York fries? Did you have New York fries?

[01:07:29] New York fries, but mostly I like the Chinese one. What was it? Panda Express. Panda Express. I still have them. Come on. And the Italian pizza one? It's great. Yeah, tomorrow. They have those in truck spots. It's great. I loved it. I loved everything about it. Nobody likes Panda Express. I love Panda Express. Oh my God. Love it. What are you talking about? The Kung Pao chicken? Stop. Stop it. That's not chicken.

[01:08:01] Gross. This is bad. Samaro. Speaking of things that have closed. There's so many food court. I'm going to go through the food court ones I loved for next week. All right. This is terrible news. Okay. Cracker Barrel closes its only location in the entire state after 15 years and employees found up when they showed up for work. Oh. Terrible. Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel. People were counting on that money. Terrible. This is terrible press for you. Terrible. Portland, Maine.

[01:08:31] Yep. Near the main mall. They said they arrived at work on January 22nd and were informed of the shutdown. There was also a sign posted outside the restaurant detailing the location's immediate cease of operations. The location's Google listing also notes that it was permanently closed. They said that they had to close after losses due to coronavirus and other changes. The fans are very mad. The employees will be helped finding jobs at other. There's not another one in the state, you guys. Right.

[01:09:01] I mean, I know those Northeast states are close, but still, you're not going to drive to Massachusetts to go work at Cracker Barrel. That is just some bullshit. I don't like it. That makes me not want to go. Somebody said I like their store, but the food wasn't good. Their breakfast is pretty good. Pretty good. Except for the toast, because it's on a grill. It's not a toaster. Every Cracker Barrel I'm going into with a toaster in my arms, I'm giving it as a donation. You're going to make some goddamn toast.

[01:09:29] I'll go in the bathroom and plug it in and make my own toast. I will bring Wonder white bread. That would be funny. Make it at the table. Yeah. Set it down. Set it down. Yep. And then no notice. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. So, sorry about that, you Cracker Barrel pooples. This is sweet, and this belongs to your nation. Oh. Canada's newest loonie. Would you like to tell the people what a loonie is? It's a $1 coin. It's a $1 coin. Yep.

[01:09:58] Would you use those frequently if you were in Canada? It's the only $1? There's no paper one? No. Yeah, that's good. We have a toonie. Never caught on here. We have a toonie. A loonie and a toonie? Mm-hmm. How about a goonie? Ah. Ah. Ah, no. Well, the newest one is so adorable. I can't wait to go back to Falls View Casino. It's a sleeping polar bear cub. Oh. With a dreamy star and moon design. That's the 2025 coin.

[01:10:28] It's a must-have for collectors and nature fans alike. Sounds like a care bear. It's adorable. It actually almost looks like a human, baby. Stop it. The picture of it. The $1 coin never caught on here. They tried it, the Susan B. Anthony dollar. Yeah. And then they tried another one. Somebody else. And the problem with the American one, though, is it was too much like a quarter. True. Same, like if you go to Ireland, it's a thickness to it. Yeah.

[01:10:55] Where it feels like I could hurt you if I threw at you really hard. The same with the Canadian one. Yeah. Yeah. The toonie's got a coin inside. The toonie's got a coin. Oh, I know that one. The coin inside the coin. Yeah. I'm trying to knock it out. It's in my bucket of coins. My mom gave me the Irish head to put my coins in. That's fun. Yeah. All right. This is... We're going to do one more story before the feel-good stories. Yeah. Two feel-good stories.

[01:11:23] Because I agree with... So, little sports thing here. Golf. PGA has been wrecked. Live golf is stupid. This TGL thing. Nobody gives a shit. Ratings are terrible. I don't want to watch people hit golf into a simulator in a simulator. I don't want to watch myself do that. I don't care. I don't even like doing them. For a minute, if it's cold out and there's nothing else to do, fine, I'll do it. But it was so slow last week.

[01:11:54] At Torrey Pines. Dottie Pepper. And I love that. Dottie Pepper's my age. And she's out there walking. She's a really good one. No, she... I don't think so. No? I don't think so. I think we're the same age. I'd say she's... 58, 59. Somewhere around there. 59. Told you. So, she's out there lugging all this equipment. She's got to walk for 18 holes. Good for her. She's in great shape. But the pace of play was so ridiculous. It was like 5 hours and 45 minutes to finish a round.

[01:12:24] And there are certain culprits out there on the PGA. Everybody knows who they are. Patrick Cantley. Brian Harmon. The list goes on and on and on. Of people that take way too long to hit a golf ball. Occasionally, they're called for slow... Well, she lost her shit. On it. She's a Leo. Yeah. Oh. She should meet my brother. They think very highly of themselves. Do you or do you not support the onesie?

[01:12:53] Daddy Pepper lost her shit on air, and I love it. I'm here for it. Yeah. Well, it's a golf loser shit, which means you've said anything negative. But with the shots. What's that? Harris English, Andrew Novak, and Aldridge Potgeiter took nearly three hours to play their first nine holes in the final round. Pepper had some thoughts on the subject as a player teed off as they teed off. That's way too long. Three hours. That's way... It should take two. Yes.

[01:13:23] You're an hour... It's really, if you're a pro, and I know it's golf, but it's a tournament, but still, hour 45. Me and Dorf do it in an hour 20. Well, you're both crazy. Well, we're crazy, but we're playing legitimately, but we're also in a card. Yes. Whatever. We're fast. We play fast. Yes. But we still play good. You're a pro. You should be able to play fast and be better than me. Yeah. Like, why can't you hit and play? If we can, if me and Dorf can play quickly... Right.

[01:13:52] Well, anyway, on the 10th hole. Also, it was super windy and cold, and there's nothing more confusing to me than being on the West Coast when you're... The sun is out, you're by the ocean... And you're freezing. And you're freezing, but it's 60. You should not be freezing. Right. But the wind coming off the water, it's cold. Yeah. She said, you know, Frank, I think we're starting to need a new world to talk about this pace of play issue.

[01:14:22] And it's respect. Respect for your fellow competitors. Respect for the fans. Respect for broadcast. For all of it. It's just gotta get better. I like it. Frank said, well said. The pace of play isn't getting any better. Her monologue shined a light, how it negatively impacts numerous aspects of the sport. It's terrible. It's awful. The final group, it took them five hours and 40 minutes. Wow. Yeah. No. Oh my gosh.

[01:14:51] Nobody gives a shit that much. No. No. They just don't. Two feel-good stories. Okay. Travis Kelsey has purchased a $3.3 million home in Kansas City to transform the property into a transitional living facility for homeless youth, providing a secure environment and essential resources to help them rebuild their lives. That's great. Good for Travis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sick of the whining. Crybaby Ranch. Yeah. Go sign up. Get a suite. He's a good dude. I know. A little bit of influence there, I think. Yeah.

[01:15:21] Maybe Tay-Tay's telling him. Think a little bit. Well, yeah. I don't. He's kind of a meathead. I don't think that he'd think like that. I think he'd think of something like, me buy you truck. Yeah. You good? You like truck? Me have truck. Me have truck. You have truck now, too. Me have cereal. Me nice man. You like Froot Loop? Me like Froot Loop. You gotta fight! Fight for your right to protect. I mean, that's what he knows. The Bills Mafia. You always have to give a shout out to the Bills fans. Yes.

[01:15:51] They create a $100,000 charity fundraiser to support the Ravens' tight end Mark Andrews. Oh, great. Once again, the Bills Mafia has created a positive out of a negative. Over the last few years, Bills community has come together to raise over $1,000 at the time of this Friday. That was a week ago. So, for Breakthrough TD1, a non-profit organization devoted to type 1 diabetes research and advocacy and a charity that Baltimore Ravens' tight end Andrews has supported in the past.

[01:16:18] Buffalo eliminated the Ravens in the divisional round of the playoffs on Sunday night. And thanks to the part, and Andrew's a brutal, he dropped the ball for the Ravens. It was brutal. I know he would have tied it. I can't even believe that that night, that man can't play football again until next August to erase that. Like comedy, if you have a bad show, there's another show tomorrow night. No big deal. And another one the next night. And another one. Oh, it's like fucking up in the World Series.

[01:16:47] It's going to be a whole other cycle until you can undo it. But anyway, he was the victim of online hate and vitriol for Ravens fans perceived as a game-losing play. In response, Bills fan Nichols Howard launched a GoFundMe to raise money for him. That's very nice. That's awesome. Yep. Good for the people of Buffalo. Boom. All right, we've got a couple thank yous. I have Jan Arden's mixtape that's coming out on the 31st.

[01:17:15] Jan Arden's mixtape album is coming out on the 31st. Yep. We love Jan. Go get that. Is it a 90s thing? I think. There's so many good ones. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. All right. A couple thank yous and a couple quotes. Spokane. Kettlehouse beer and the local coffee. Termite, Erica. She's from Montana. Yeah, I see that, Montana. Yeah. Wallace Brewing Black Lager. Oh, yeah, that was great. They're my cat socks. Grow a Bigfoot.

[01:17:45] Bigfoot. Idaho Tormone. It's Jackie Chan. Super cool. Oh, the backpack cooler. The green backpack. It's called Amante. Yeah, that is so. Michael Somerville is very jealous. Yeah. He's like, damn, they are nailing it. I'm like, I know. And then a book. And I can't. I'm going to start reading. Not chapters, but I'm going to start reading. It's called The Science of Motivating Young People. I can't wait. I just haven't felt good or I would have. That's from Eric and Allie. And that's God's deal.

[01:18:14] Oh, I got my St. Louis Cardinal golf balls. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Bigfoot hat. The golf balls from Mary Jo, Marty, the Bigfoot hat. This very cool tote bag that has patches of everything I like on it. That was from Ina. Oh, and the Ina Garner caramels. She made caramels. I know. I didn't know that. I didn't even know who she was until all this crazy Martha Stewart stuff. That's from Termite Heather. Local beer. Transplanted. Oh, from Table Rock. Yeah. Molly. Okay.

[01:18:43] My Dateline socks. And a new Keith Morrison sticker because I've switched joke book. So I'm so happy to have the Keith one because I was out. And then I go online and I'm like, can't you buy them? And then I forget. I don't know. Arizona Termite Maria. Focus. Yeah, I know. Focus. It's hard. The Tylenol cold. And then I thought, didn't I read all these articles? None of this shit works. Yeah. It's all in my house. Yeah. Yeah. I'll throw it out. Well, if this is just to really make us sleep, I'll rather just drink JMO.

[01:19:13] Whoa, yeah. Why not? Yeah, old school. Multiple long underwear options from Marina. Thank you. I'll figure out which because. Everybody's saying Cuddle Duds. Cuddle Duds, it seems to be the resounding. Yeah. The real arable bears. Those are from Dan and Vicky. Nice. Captain Cook Hawaii. Yeah. Game day Oreos. I'm going to be tasting those. Super Bowl week. That's from Bernie. Cool. Bigfoot book. The Possum Lady book. I got to get into that before I can even explain it, but I got that done.

[01:19:43] Thank you. And I'm going to. It looks. It's a lady who channels squirrels and possums like dead ones. What? I don't know. I know. I know. And I took a lot of meds. Somebody made a book. Yeah. There's a book about it. So lots of greenies, baby cat, and then we're going to be so happy. By the way, Cedric got in the house. I saw that. Well, I think I can catch him, take him to the vet and try to untrain wreck him. That's what I'm going to do. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:20:13] Just so he can at least be healthier. But knowing that he'll come in the house now. Well, I left the door open. That's why. And then he was on the couch with the cocaine banana spinning around. And I'm like, oh, fuck. He could have fleas. I don't know. He could have everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. So. But if I can get him in, if he's going to be that bold, I could trick him into a cage. Anyway, that's my plan. And a pickleball calendar from an unknown termite. Yeah, there was no.

[01:20:43] No thing? No. Okay. I've added a little tiny thing because this made me laugh. I got sent the little book of saints. I love it. Nice. If you're not Catholic, we have a patron saint for everything. This is all covered in my special bothering Jesus. And you're supposed to contact that saint. You have to pay two more dollars on Netflix to see it. You're going to have to pay two more dollars to see that special on Netflix. But if you hurry up and do it right now. Yeah, do it. Run. Go. Yes.

[01:21:13] In Catholicism, you're taught. If you pray to your saint, they'll help you out a little bit. A little extra help. And they've all been designated a certain area of expertise. So here's who. This is for small business owners, innkeepers, horses. What? I know. I didn't make up this religion. Okay. And tailors. Interesting. Yeah. Who's the saint?

[01:21:40] Saint Martin Caballero. Okay. And Saint Martin of Tours. You have two. Or is that? Oh, no. I see. It's their name. Saint Martin. It's Saint Martin of Tours. Yes. He was Hungarian born at the age of 10 to his parents' home. Horror. He attended a Christian church. Christianity had become legalized in Rome in 13 AD. Like his father. Martin. This is the kind of shit I'm being told all day in a Catholic school. And I'm like, huh? Whoa.

[01:22:11] What? Do what? What did Martin do? Do what? Do what, Martin? He served in the Roman army. One day while he was out riding with Calvary, he came across a beggar who was barely clothed. He ripped his cloak in half, wrapped it around the beggar to warm him up. That night, Christ came to him, wrapped in the cloak. Martin left the army to become a Christian monk and later the bishop of Tours, France. Oh, Tours, France. I get it. It is said he cured lepers with a kiss and raised people from the dead. He was a man of compassion and simplicity, giving to all those in need.

[01:22:41] So there you go. If you're a small business owner and you need some help, your shout out is St. Martin, if you believe in Catholicism. Now, from there, we're going to move on to a quote from Snoop Dogg. Do you or do you not support the onesie? It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard said in a hearing.

[01:23:12] Snoop. Ain't nothing stopping me. I've been doing this shit before I had a record deal, homie. Muhammad Ali is the greatest of all time. I'm the greatest of my time. Wow, I like it. Yeah. I like it. And a little quote from Cher. Grandpa. This sends us off. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

[01:23:42] Oh, this was on Twitter in 2018. Some guy said to me, don't you think you're too old to sing rock and roll? I said, I don't know. You better check with Miss Jagger. Whoa! Whoa! Mic drop. Cher. Mic drop. Okay, termites. Oh, baby cat. Do you know it's over? Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't like to come down after this. She likes to stay up here. I don't know what she does. Secret things. I gotta go. Yeah.

[01:24:12] I have to go deal with her litter box. Gross. I know. If it gets full, she just comes out and literally screams at me. Mwah! Mwah! From the room. Full? Gross. Well, like, I don't know. Sometimes they all come in here and use it. I don't know. It's happening. Not really in charge. There's a lot of things going on here. A lot of things going on. What are you doing this weekend? Yep, yep. I'm going to Huntington for two shows. No. And then I'm going to Red Bank, which I haven't been to in a long time, and it's such a wonderful theater. It's so—Huntington's great, too. It's like a hard rock kind of type place.

[01:24:41] It's just fun. Like, there's a bar in the back. I like it when it's, like, fun. Yeah. The vibe of the place. It's very, like, yay, fun. Both bigs are fun. And so—and the both of the people, the guys that run Huntington and Paramount, a bunch of brothers, Irish—little Irish clan. It just— Yeah. They're just wonderful. They always want me to come in summer, and I want to come in summer, too, to golf, because they have, like, golden—they know how to get on all the good courses and all that, and I think they would totally do that. Who's your opener?

[01:25:11] But my opener is the beer monster, Michael Somerville. Whoa. Yes. There you go. And his dad or somebody—his dad and his brother, I think, are coming to one of the shows. What? Yeah. I always like it when it's someone else's family. You feel the pressure for a minute. Hot, yeah. I don't even feel it anymore when my family comes, but I used to. All right, termites. That's it. Are you ready? I know you're not feeling good. Yeah, it's just annoying. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a cold. And you know what? That's what happens when you don't stay on Delta. Oh!

[01:25:43] Don't forget. That is available. One, two, one, two, nine-nine termites.