Episode 209: Retiring Girl Scout Cookies, Manifesting Mindy, & North Korea Bans Hot Dogs

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on. Termites, welcome to Episode 209 with Stevie. I wonder if Stevie's house is alright in the Palisades. I think she has one in the Palisades.

[00:00:35] She has an assistant who's probably my age, so yes, I would define that as old. Somebody interviewed her assistant in a car. It was the strangest thing I've ever seen. Like, how did you find Stevie Nicks' assistant? And she was just a normal lady. On Facebook. Yeah. Well, before we get to all that, that's Stevie. I don't think anything bad's happened to Stevie herself, so I'm not even sure there's a house in the Palisades.

[00:01:00] I think she wrote that in a song though or something. Something all the way to Point Doom. I don't know. Doom? Doom. Point Doom. It's like a thing, yeah. But, I know. Anyway. What are we drinking? A little Labatt Lou Light in honor of who? The Buffalo Bills winning! I don't think the Buffalo Bills have enough to get to the end. No. I love the Buffalo Bills. I love Buffalo. St. Gabriel's is one of my, Gabriel's Gate. Gabriel's Gate? Yeah, it's not, it's Gabriel's Gate. It's one of my favorite bars in the United States of America.

[00:01:29] However, you can't get to the red zone that many times and not capitalize on it. That is not gonna win you a Super Bowl. Nope. And now we have a different pool for you football. My brother has created the playoff pool, and I was doing so good till Washington fucking won. I can't believe they were. I like Jaden, but I also just didn't see that coming. I bet a lot of money against him. And yeah, I made some DraftKings bets, but I'm still ahead in DraftKings.

[00:01:58] It doesn't even matter. I just sprinkle my hundred. Boom, boom, boom. Um, we will get to that. So we are drinking Labatt Blue Light. Wonderful Labatt Blue, a little too much for me. Labatt Blue Light, the perfect. Tastes like a foreign beer in a good way, but it's light. So shout out to that. What are we eating? Well, let's try some Publix limited edition buffalo style chicken dip chips.

[00:02:27] So you could just go to the party and you don't have to bring the dip. It's already in the chip. Nice. Yeah. How about that? Um, no. No. Terrible. Just get some buffalo dip and bring some dip. Okay. Bring regular chips and buffalo dip. Every time they try to combine all this stuff, it just tastes like powder. Powder? Yeah. Like they sprinkled some weird... That's terrible. Yeah. Not good.

[00:02:57] No. How about some off-road Joe's retro jalapeno chips from New Jersey? Sure, why not? I've got till March to eat this whole bag. Oh. They're the hard chips. Kettle. Yeah. Kettle. Hard chips. They're alright. Yeah. Wow. B minus. Yeah. I'd rather just have a regular kettle chip. It gets confusing. Alright, last thing.

[00:03:27] This is Hidden Valley Ranch spicy taco secret sauce. I had Taco Bell the other day because their commercial inspired me. You know whose commercial does not inspire me? Burger King. I will absolutely not eat there now just because I can't. I can't. And it's going to go on until football's over. Yep. Mm-hmm. It's pretty good. Yeah. It is a zesty taco sauce. Looks like a weird male.

[00:03:56] Kind of looks like Thousand Island dressing. Yeah. Um, my mom's favorite which I found completely disgusting but she loves it. She likes French. Yeah. She's weird. Weird. She always picks a weird thing. And then my dad would ask like a certain 18 year old server if he could have Roquefort and then their eyes would just cross. Dad, nobody knows what you're talking about. Uh-uh. Could he have Roquefort with Waverly Wafer crackers? It's specifically, it had to be Waverly Wafer or he was going to have nothing to do. Don't bring a fancy cracker to this table.

[00:04:26] Okay. God, can you imagine that kid, a 21, 18, 21 year old. I don't know, some old man told me I have to, I can't bring any crazy crackers. Roquefort. Roquefort. Ooh, it's hard to, yeah. Um, all right. So, upcoming shows, are we ready? Yeah. Omaha. Now, by the way, a person named Jody emailed a team email and wants to bring some Runzas backstage. I'm all about it.

[00:04:53] I'm going to email you back on how to do that because there is a comedian, he's now, he's in charge of this, it comes out. My friend Mark Gross, who's from Nebraska. And my whole life, all I've had to hear about is Runzas from Mark. Runzas? Runzas, it's a German sandwich. Yeah. And I've never had one. All right. So, pfft, this weekend. We're doing it. We're doing it. Good. Omaha. Yes, you can bring that to the theater and I will figure out how to get it backstage. Yes. It'll be so exciting because it'll be hot. Yeah. Who's the opener? Palisak? Michael Palisak? Yeah.

[00:05:22] Oh, Paul. That would be fun to watch. Yeah. We just need two. One for me and Michael. Yeah. Well, Michael eats too. Really? Let's not. I've never seen anyone. Michael Palisak, very funny comedian. And he goes on the road with me sometimes. First of all, I've never seen anybody eat that much and remain thin. Yeah. Well, I mean, he's in good shape. Like, he's not skinny. He's just like in perfect shape. He can get Uber Eats. He will get Uber Eats if he is sent to hell. Somehow Uber Eats will show up and go, delivery for Michael Palisak.

[00:05:52] Like, I don't even know how to get backstage at my own shows. I can't remember what fucking door I came in. And then I'm like, Michael, how did you get food here? Like, this place is, we could be in the middle of a college campus. There's 18 barricades and parking spots. And anyway, so. The taco shows up. Actually, we need three sandwiches if you can, because he'll eat two and then I'll get back there and there won't be any left. And then he'll go, oh, did you want that one? Yes, Michael. You need to have a conversation with your own person. No, it's fine.

[00:06:20] I almost killed him when he drank my milk out of the refrigerator, though. That was for breakfast the next day. And I came back and somehow he got fucking cereal. Why did you get cereal at a casino? How did you do that? He's. He's. I know. He's very crafty. January 18th, Cedar Falls. This Friday is Omaha. Then Cedar Falls. Then Spokane, Washington. Then Scottsdale. Yes. I think. I think they're sold out. I don't know. They do dump tickets at the last minute though. So go check if you still want to come.

[00:06:50] Huntington. Two shows. We added a second show at 930. February 1st, Red Bank, New Jersey. Great. Yeah. 7th and 8th, Durham, Carolina. So excited. That's two whole days of barbecue. Which Carolina is it? Which. It's North Carolina. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Their barbecue is my favorite in the whole country. We've established that. February 14th, Fort Lauderdale. Then Fort Myers. Then Davenport, Iowa. Then Prior Lake, Minnesota, which is really Minneapolis, which is Mystic Lake Casino. Yeah. Two shows. Boom. Look at that.

[00:07:20] Morgantown, West Virginia. March 7th. March 8th, Washington DC. The Warner. Fun to say. March 14th, Mike and Georgia. March 15th, Charleston, South Carolina added a second show in Charleston. Early show. Early show. A five o'clocker. That's a little early for me, but that's where it fit. Yeah. It's going to be fun. Uh huh. And then the rest of the 2025 shows are on the day drinking. The day drinking tour are on my website.

[00:07:49] Let's move into this. Nice. The business of the day. Let's just start with the fires. It's very upsetting in California. It's awful. I understand nobody cares about celebrity douchebags in their $25 million mansions. It's very hard to be empathetic. I'm empathetic towards our animals. Uh huh. I'm not that empathetic when it's your third and fourth home. Right. Now, there's plenty of people that live in the Palisades and especially Altadena that are not celebrities. They're just normal people. Yeah. You're mailman.

[00:08:18] You're, well, I should, postal carrier. Mark. Yeah, I know. I said mailman though. Whatever. Normal jobs, normal people. Yeah. And it happens so fast. Yeah. And people I know, their house is burnt down and they're not rich and famous people. They're just normal people. And it's a mess. It's a giant mess. And I don't understand what the conspiracy people. Now's the time to shut up. Yeah. Now's yeah. Knock it off. Mel Gibson was on implying all kinds of shit.

[00:08:44] Okay, Mel, if you really believed all that before this week, then why'd you stay? Right. And then my brother called and he goes, Oh, did you hear this one? That there's tunnels in Pacific Palisades. This is one going around and that that's where the sex trafficking for the elite, you know, all these invisible enemies, the global elite, whoever that is. Yeah. And that they had to burn it all down because they need a new smart city for the Olympics.

[00:09:11] I'm like, you know, I, yes. And they had a cover up because the PD thing is going to expose and then Trump's going to expose people. None of it makes any sense. None of it's logical. That's what bothers me. Like I'm open to hearing crazy shit, but it needs to be a logical argument or I'm not, I'm done listening to it. I'm going to go back to my chicken wings and I'm going to go back to, um, Steven A. Smith and Santa Thorpe, Santa Thorpe, Santa Thorpe, this is crazy this morning.

[00:09:38] He's crazy cause Mike McCarthy's getting fired from the Cowboys. They're all the breaking news. They're all the crazy morning. I love that show. Um, I'm sick of the people with the theories cause now's not the time. Y'all, everybody says, Oh no, no, it's not the time to talk about control after a shooting. Yeah. Well, now is not the time to talk about conspiracy theories that you don't even have a grip on. No. And we got to, can we talk about Harry and Megan? What are you doing? What are you doing?

[00:10:06] Well, we're touring it as what you're not Royal. You're not a government official. They were in blocked off zones. I just, I do not even get out of the way. Well, just right. Get out of the way. And if that was my property and I turn it on and Megan and Harry are going in an area I'm not allowed to go into. Right. Yeah. It's going to piss you off. I just, it's just, I, I don't, I, I'm kind of glad I don't want to play it.

[00:10:33] Like, uh, I don't have to go to LA anytime soon because I think I already know how LA can be and it's just going to be crazy. And I feel, I feel super sorry to like, I have friends that are in safe zones, but they're in between fires. Like in studio city, the Valley, my nephew, Joey, he, I go, are you? And his wife, are you okay? He's like, yeah, man, I'm at Burbank getting on a plane to Japan. I go, please tell me, please tell me you're not on Southwest.

[00:11:04] Oh, these thoughts will there be till you 20 somethings get to Tokyo. It's no problem. We're going to go through Minneapolis, Des Moines, St. Louis, Buffalo, Buffalo, Paris. I mean, I don't know. He's, he's away. So a lot of people, he just left anyway. Cause his friends had passes or some whatever 20 somethings do. I don't know, but like I have friends that are sitting there and they're up all night

[00:11:28] because if it just goes crazy and it's going to go crazy again, and then very, very, very much too bad. And then, so we have fire on the West coast and then we had snow and ice in Nashville. Yay. But it really wasn't a thing. Um, Southerners, Souther, Southerners just panic. I was so happy to meet this guy from Michigan at Lowe's cause I go, do you have any salt? I just want my steps and you know, I want the cats to be able to not. Yeah, whatever.

[00:11:55] And he, he goes, uh, yeah, I have salt. Can I ask where you're from? I said, well, I'm from St. Louis. He goes, Oh, I'm from Michigan. And none of these Pete Southerners believe me that salt works cause they have a thing called ass melt down here. I've never heard it till I moved here. Ass melt. It does have an extra element than salt. So salt melts your snow. Ass melt, melts your snow, but then your water won't re-freeze. It's got a little antifreeze in it.

[00:12:23] Now I'm not saying that ain't smart, but you know, right. They will not accept that salt will also melt your snow. And he's like, yeah, I'm from Michigan. And I just can't convince these people cause they were out of ass melt. But he had a shit ton of salt. I'm like, yeah, you know what? Don't you be shoving science down their throats. Nope. Mr. Michigan. Science is regional. We don't believe in that down here. You just shut your mouth and get some more ass melt ordered. Thank you. Ass melt. Which is actually what happens. Ass melt. Ass melt.

[00:12:53] But the weather channel was down on Broadway. Anyway, my hero, Jim Cantore, who I've never gotten to meet. Um, we've tweeted back and forth a lot, but, uh, my friend, Stormy Warren, who was the big DJ on Sirius Radio. And now he's on Garth Brooks, his app, the six, one, five, whatever country country DJ person that like I used to go on a show and I'm like, I don't really fit into this, but I think he just wanted comedians as a break. Yeah. Cause he interviews country person after country person after singer, singer, singer, singer. Well, I'm friends with Stormy. Yeah.

[00:13:22] But then Stormy was friends, is friends with Jim and they were texting me pictures of themselves downtown. And he's like, Jim loves you, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, great. Tell him I'll bring him a surprise tomorrow. So I got in the big truck and drove right down with 10 tiny shots of fireball. Nice. And his producer guy, this guy is so nice, Steve, he goes, nobody ever brings us good stuff like this. I mean, they bring us nice stuff, but this is just the best. And I said, it doesn't seem like there weren't that many idiots.

[00:13:50] He goes, Oh no, snow storms. Fine. Weather chance. He goes for me, the hurricane crowds. Cause they're wound up. I go, snow makes people calm down and it stay home. Especially Southerners. They're just like, we're closing everything. I'm like, it's not even raining or snowing. Then we have school is going to be closed Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Monday. It's just going to be closed a lot. Just settle in. But I like that. I like that running speed. I'm down with it. Fuck it. Close it. Who cares?

[00:14:21] Everybody needs to calm down. But hurricanes rev people up. Yeah. And then the crazy start showing up to get behind Jim on camera. I saw in North Carolina or one of South Carolina hurricane and Jim Cantore was broadcasting and some drunk college kid who basically just had on a pair of tighty whiteys ran in front of him and kicked him so hard in the crotch that Jim like completely halfway fell over. But then he just kept talking about the hurricane. He did not even acknowledge the fact that it's a human being, a college kid. Anyway, so. Was he cool?

[00:14:50] Oh, he's great. Yeah. He was so fun. I hung out down there for a while and then they had to go over to Titan Stadium to do something, something. I don't know what. What did you do? I went to bootleggers. I'm already downtown. Come on. It's time for one shot of moonshine and one Miller Lite. Boom. Say hi to my little bartender friend and maybe slide on over to Trisha's and get some chicken figures. That's right.

[00:15:21] So, very sorry for everybody in Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. And, you know, hopefully this next one won't be as bad. They said it's crazy winds again, but ah, and the snowstorm here was nothing. I mean, it's very pretty. It was like five inches of heart of heavy, wet snow. Great snowman. But the streets were just kind of melting. Yeah. Like it wasn't, I think. They put the ice melt down. The ice melt was everywhere. It looks like glass when it's all put out because it's blue because it's got the antifreeze

[00:15:50] in it. Mm-hmm. That's right. Ass. Um, football. Oh my God. It's just before I did the pop kick. It's literally breaking news right now. Mike McCarthy would not be returning to the Cowboys. So great. I mean, Pittsburgh got trounced. Finally, finally, I just want to say it won't be a loud football talk. This playoff talk. I love my Pittsburgh friends. I love Pittsburgh. I love the museums. I love the sandwich. The Provani brothers.

[00:16:20] I just don't understand the delusion. It's levels of with my Pittsburgh, specifically the Steelers. They're very rational about the pirates. They get it. The penguins, they sound like normal people. Nobody thinks about the pirates. I think about the pirates. Not really. Yes, I think about the pirates. No, I really think about the pirates. And I think about the penguins because that's still Mario, isn't it? Yes. Yes. Did he retire yet? Yes. Yeah. Lemieux. Lemieux. And Sidney Crosby.

[00:16:49] And Sidney Crosby, right. The penguins are good. Mario retired like 10 years ago. Mario retired. Well, there you go. But now he's like in charge of it. Now he's doing stuff there. So he's still employed by the penguins. So you just shut your mouth. Paddles, I was right. I think he's doing that. I think hopefully this will bring the end to their delusion in Pittsburgh. God love them. That Mike Tomlin, as Stephen A. Smith says, hasn't won a playoff game in nine years. Nine. Nine. Nine.

[00:17:19] And Russell Wilson is not your answer. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. He's wonderful to have as a backup. Even though he's older, he's still good enough. Mm-hmm. I'll take him as a backup. But hopefully that will end that. I cannot believe the commanders, that's Washington, are moving on. And then tonight, because I'm doing this on a Monday, it's the Rams against, oh, Skull the Vikings! Come on!

[00:17:47] My comedian friend Nick Schwartzen says he can't watch those things or he has diarrhea. Um, if you want to follow somebody ridiculously silly on Instagram and stupid, every time he tweets, he posts something, my friend Chuck, a comedian will just send it and go, he's 50. I love it. Nick. Nick used to walk, there's only one, as far as I'm concerned, normal, uh, fun sports bar in West Hollywood and it was called Barney's Beanery.

[00:18:14] They have pitchers of beers and just normal, like you feel like you could be anywhere in the Midwest or the East Coast. And, um, he would walk around West Hollywood with his Viking helmet on with the horns and shit. But it would be like a Wednesday. I'm like, Nick, there's no game. Are you drunk? He's like, no, I just want to show my support. Skull, skull. I know a lot of comedians that are Viking fans and they've been extremely disappointed over the years. So maybe this is their time. I don't see it though. Sam Darnold's no Lamar. I got on one, one ticket.

[00:18:44] I got Baltimore going all the way. And then I got, uh, the chiefs. Cause I don't think you can discount Patrick Mahomes. No under any, I know they haven't played in 21 days. I'm not excited about that. I was thinking about going on Sunday, but now the game's on Saturday. I got to work anyway. So I'm not going and thank God because Sunday it's going to be like one degree. It's another one of those freak days. And then I thought, well, maybe I should fly out of Minneapolis. Negative nine. Nope. Not driving into that. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

[00:19:12] Um, so I don't know what we're going to do with Mike McCarthy. I don't know who's going to hire him. Um, lions and chiefs. Well, who's going to win? Well, no, you're not going to win. No, you have to choose for the pick them pool. Then they overthink shit. That's the problem when, when, and it was really, um, uh, Baker Mayfield's fault. They lost. He fumbled the ball.

[00:19:41] I mean, you can't, I want to think Baker got better and then shit like this happens. And I'm like, well, you're still the guy from Cleveland. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Um, the Rams Vikings. Uh, well, you can't say won't root for the Rams. They're having a tough time. Um, but I'd like to see the Vikings move on and the national playoffs for college, Notre Dame against Iowa state as a Catholic. I got to go with Notre Dame. Yeah. I have to, even though I'm not very excited about that game.

[00:20:11] Cause there's no sec teams. So to me, yeah. Yeah. Eh. Eh. On behalf of my friend, Michael Somerville and on behalf of my friend, Aaron Weber, I will root for Notre Dame. And on behalf of the Catholic church. Pfft. On behalf of the Catholic church, the tuition they're charging. I'm sure is ridiculous. Um, all right, let's move on some King and Queen news. Well, I think Tommy's going to get for sure fired. He's going to get fired.

[00:20:37] And then my friend Clark research assistant said, is Tommy going to be ruined removed as one of the Kings of this court? And the answer is yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. The ramifications are long and wide and wide ranging at like tentacles. Tommy, he was so bad this past weekend. He called the Eagles, the Phillies twice. You can't know. And then he got people's names wrong and I will always love them. Um, I will always love you.

[00:21:05] That's how he would say, but you can't. Did he? Yeah. Yeah. Sneaky like that. Sneaky like that. He's gorgeous. He's wonderful. I'd take him as my quarterback now, but, um, he is the goat, but here's the thing. Goats can't, you can't be goaded everything. Announcing even some guy tweeted me. I'm with Kathleen. Can he take an edible? He was still too. It was better. His hyperness was better, but it now you're getting names wrong.

[00:21:33] Then he couldn't remember who beat who for this thing. Like, I wouldn't know that, but I don't claim to be an announcer. Um, I just think they're going to politely say, oh, that 375 million. We're going to need 300 back and we'll give you 75 million for this year. And because you're an owner of the Raiders, we're going to say that's why. Cause it is true. He can't do any pregame interviews. He can't do anything. He can't go into locker rooms cause he's an owner of a flipping team. It's the perfect exit strategy. It's wonderful. Yeah.

[00:22:01] So that was my Tommy news. Terrible performance. Um, oh shit. Okay. So I saw this whole list. Maybe I can still, if I can read it. Here's how much Amazon. Well, let's see. Google and meta have given $0 so far to the fires. Tay Tay gave 10 million. Yeah. You know, that's the other thing. Let me just say this about conspiracy people. On one hand, they say the government doesn't fuck.

[00:22:31] This is where I, my brain, my Libra brain doesn't like the, a lot. The there's no logic. Yeah. You say the government doesn't function. Whoever it may be this time it's all blue people and you guys elected them. So, okay. Some didn't, but most did Gavin Newsom and all that. Um, you say government doesn't function and the, the, the, the fire hydrant and water and all these problems. Okay. Let's say all of that is a hundred percent true. Yeah.

[00:22:59] But then you're saying that somehow there's a group of invisible people called the, they, they, they always say they. And then I want to go, who specifically, who is that? Yeah. That you're accusing of this. Right. That they started all the fires and then there's tunnels down there. And then Hillary's down there eating babies. Both can't be true either. Eating babies. I know. Yeah. So crazy. Other conspiracies sound, they all have to do with sex too.

[00:23:28] Well, there is a lot of sex going on in the conspiracy world. I don't know. Like why? I don't know. I think who's ever thinking of it might be a perv. There's a lot of pervs then. There might be. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's weird that you're always talking about child sex trafficking or underage, whatever you want to call that. Um, I don't know, but I'm, I won't keep talking about it cause now is not the time. Um, um, but Tay Tay did give $10 million already. I know. And you know, she'll get more. Yeah.

[00:23:58] Um, shares Malibu mansion did not get, it's unbelievable, but she's, but see on top of the hill, usually the embers from all those years when I live there, uh, I'd watch them on TV. I was fascinated cause we don't, when I first moved to LA, I was like 20, whatever, five to six years old. I turned on the TV and they go, well, it's fire and award season. And I'm like, never heard of those. I'm used to fall and spring. What is fire and award me fire?

[00:24:28] Do you get awards for your fire? What the fuck does that even? I didn't know that meant the golden gloves, the Academy Awards. They call it the award season in Los Angeles. Um, but the fires. So like there'd be a fire and I could see it. And I was with my friend, Jim, he's from Rhode Island, but he'd live there longer than I was, I was like, that fire is right there. Mm-hmm . Now, granted say it's in Santa Monica and you're in Hermosa Beach, you got a 20 mile, 15 mile baby. Uh, he's like, ah, no, I won't get down here.

[00:24:51] You just get very used to in LA areas and going, it never ever hops or jumps. Um, but Malibu, a shit ton burned down, share $75 million mansion. Boom. Right on top of that hill. Paris Hilton's gone. Paris Hilton's is gone. Mm-hmm . Well, last I checked, there's 800 million hotel rooms called Hilton. I'm sure she'll be fine. I mean, I don't want anybody's shit to get destroyed, blah, blah, blah.

[00:25:21] I'll be mean. I'm just saying there are people that this situation is devastating to. And then there's people that it's mildly inconvenient are just sad. It's sad. Yes. Yeah. Those are my favorite tennis shoes. Like, I mean, somebody said where's somebody actually said, I feel bad for Paris. Where's she going to stay? Hilton. Hilton. I mean, they're not just rich people. They own hotels. They own beds. They own bedrooms. They own. She'll be just fine.

[00:25:52] Trust us. She will be just fine. Um, jelly rolls quiet. Stevie quiet. Uh, Dolly quiet. Yeah. She'll probably donate money. It's the new year though. It's been a slow start to a new year. Yeah. It's been a crazy start to a new year, which when you think of all the shit that's already happened in two weeks, it's, it's a, Snoop's leaving the voice. Snoop's leaving the voice. He should. He's sick of Reba.

[00:26:21] Is he sick of Reba? I don't know. That's another thing. Yeah. It wouldn't take much. I wouldn't think. It's a lot of attention. It's a lot of, I know, I know. Maybe. I don't know. Um, I don't know anything about her really. Just as a fan, a person. I do love, uh, that's the night that the lights went down in Georgia. You love fancy. I love fancy. Fancy don't. It's all about making your kid be a stripper just to make some money. It's such a crazy song that we celebrate. Here's your one chance fancy don't let me down. Yeah. Whoa.

[00:26:51] Get after it. Yeah. You get on that pole. You get on that pole tour. My brother one time in the Ozarks had a person that worked for him and he said, he said to her, um, so, Hey, uh, how's it going with your daughter? And she goes, Oh good. She's out working the pole. Patrick didn't know what that meant. Like, yep. Tri-state area. There's regional dancers. She was in the tri-state area, Missouri, Illinois, and I think Kansas. Yep. Working the pole.

[00:27:22] Good money. Cash money. Cash money. Cash money. What are we watching? Well, what I did watch, cause I'm a history freak. Uh huh. I love a presidential funeral. I know. Cause I like to see all the people. I like to see the, the behavior. My favorite thing of Jimmy Carter's funeral was George W. Bush and I miss him by a million. Forget about what you think about politics.

[00:27:47] His personality made me laugh every time he was, he was, he was laughing in church. Like you're not supposed to, I feel like he's always been that guy that I'm sure his mother and father, cause they were pretty strict seeming. We're just like, what do we fucking do with that? Right? Look at that. Look at that middle kid. Look at him. He's pointing at people. Oh, boom, boom. Got you. Gotcha. I just missed him. And Laura looks exactly the same. She just looks like a, um, a crazy happy puppet. Yeah.

[00:28:15] She smiles and then her head turns and nothing changes. And then her head turns back to the middle. She still looks perfectly normal. Um, everybody hilly, Billy, uh, billet Hillary, uh, came in and she was having, she only said hello to the bushes. It got very catty, very, very catty. Kamala and Doug. Oh, Doug did, but Kamala didn't. Yes, he did. He turned around and did a how you, how you doing deal. But she didn't. That's a little juvenile.

[00:28:44] You gotta get over it. You gotta get over it. You can't be a sore loser. Obama's talking to him. And I'm sorry. You just, you're the one who said, I wasn't even Obama set by Donald. I mean, if you're all the shit Donald has said about him, you weren't born here, blah, blah, blah, you know, Obama was like, whatever. And the biggest mic drop is Michelle Obama didn't even go. No. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Um, it was Dan Quayle. Uh huh. Kind of missed Dan too. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:14] Great golfer. In case you ever wondered, what does he spend his time doing? Yeah, he's like a scratch golfer. You've never missed Al Gore. No, Al Gore. So boring. And you know what, Al? The only thing that made you fun was Tipper and you fucked it up. Where'd she go? Let's see Tipper. Is she even alive? She lives in Nashville. She lives in Nashville. No. Oh. Did she have breast cancer? She did live in Nashville. I don't know. I know she played the drums. She made him fun. Yes. He's so not fun. Um, she's 76. Yeah.

[00:29:45] All right. Well, good. She's still alive. Lives in Nashville. Mm-hmm. Well, we gotta get Tipper down on Broadway playing some drums. Do a sit-in. Yeah. Give her the name Tipper by her. Not because she's a good tipper. It's from a lullaby. Her name is Mary. And then watching, uh, his grandson, Jimmy Carter's grandson, was very funny. He told very funny stories. Yeah, that was good.

[00:30:11] Gerald Ford's son was also very well-spoken and looks just like Gerald. Very well-spoken. I had never seen the man. And then, um, oh, somebody else's kid. Oh, shit. Walter Mondale. I forgot about Walter Mondale. Yeah, his kid. Looks just like him, too. Really? It's crazy. Yeah, it's like they haven't even- and then Amy Carter was sitting there and I thought that was the worst thing ever because she's two years younger than me and I remember when she was in the White House.

[00:30:39] Thank God it was before social media because she wasn't- she was a child that wasn't- unfortunately at the time, about age 10 or 12, whatever we were at the time, she looked a little like sissy space-sick in the movie Carrie. Oh, no. Yeah. There were just a million horrible comments and that's before social media. And I'm like, you know, you can't do that to a 10 year old. No. Hopefully they just screened her from all that. I don't know. Yeah. But it was fun to see her- She probably is listening.

[00:31:11] Yeah, right. And it was wonderful to hear about Jimmy's life. Yeah. Nuclear engineer. Smart. Smart. Did all the right things. Probably not the best president, I think everybody could agree, as we talked about before. He just said shit people don't want to hear. No. And it's kind of still a popularity contest. Yeah. He was right about some and wrong about others. But anyway, that was super fun to watch. Good deal. And the finale, I'm trying to think if there's anybody else crazy there.

[00:31:43] Um, it's just fun to see all the older people. Bill Clinton's got a, literally, somebody needs to tell him to shut his mouth. Like it hangs open like an old goat. He just sits there and goes, like, dude, get your jaw up. What is the matter with you? Like, Biden looked lost. I think he fell asleep twice. I think Trump, he fell asleep once though. And I'm not, some of the people were very boring. I admit it. There was one, he was a Southern, I, it's very rare.

[00:32:09] You see an old Southern man with sounds exactly like Jimmy Carter, the same exact accent. And he's Jewish. You just, yeah, it's not common. And it was fascinating cause he sounded just like him, but I don't know. He, he was okay, but I could see maybe if I was gunning sneak in a nap or maybe during one of the songs. Right there. Yeah. Right. Found my spot.

[00:32:35] Um, well, and then Garth and Trisha had to sing together. They sang imagine that's their song. They sing it at funerals, but Jimmy Carter heard him sing it and then asked him to sing it at his funeral. So they agreed. I don't know how all that's going with Garth being accused of things. And is, is Trisha on board or not? I don't know. I don't know these people. They didn't look too thrilled.

[00:33:02] She looked like I'll do this cause I made a promise or maybe they were just sad. See, I'm just sitting here making shit up now. That's the reason you're all listening to this podcast. Oh, cause we're willing to make things up. Yeah. Well, I'm just, but I'm not making up. And then this was the craziest thing. This, uh, African American lady, I don't know, forties, fifties, got up to sing amazing grace and she's a soprano. And then they put on TV, she's a Delta flight attendant.

[00:33:32] I'm like, you guys will put the video in the, in the shows. I mean, this was opera. Like you pay to go see, like, why is this lady also a flight attendant? Like I texted my friend, Laura, I'm like, can you sing too? Like, is this a thing? Holy shit. Like this is crazy. Um, I can't believe Jimmy Carter heard her sing somewhere in Atlanta, probably a Delta hoopty ha thing. And, um, he asked her if you would do it.

[00:34:00] I just can't believe you can have that much talent and you're still on the road 250 nights a year as a flight attendant. Like, why aren't you in the opera? Right. A real one or all of them or, or, or something. So yeah. Yeah. Um, this is this lady's name. A Delta flight attendant shared a stirring rendition of amazing grace at Jimmy Carter state funeral. It was amazing. It was nothing short of amazing. Um, that song was written in 1772.

[00:34:30] It's a favorite hymn of president Carter's in 2017. He heard Phyllis Adams, a Delta flight attendant singing at a Carter center at the Carter center in Atlanta. He asked her, she'd be willing to sing that song at his funeral. And she agreed. Well, you know, I never hear somebody sing something and think, can you do that at my funeral? No, not yet. No fingers crossed. Um, yeah, it was just, I've never seen just a person off the bench. Hey, can anybody here sing?

[00:34:59] Phyllis can. Phyllis sounds like a Tito. By the way, there was a medical emergency. My sister and the twins were taking my mom down to Florida and there was a medical emergency and they said, ring your bell. Now my mom was a nurse for 50 years. Whoa. During the civil war, she, she rang her bell and Kate goes, I almost shit. I'm like, what are you doing? And my mom's like, well, nobody else is ringing their bell. And I am a nurse.

[00:35:29] It was somebody was having, but my mom's also kind of a hard ass and somebody was having a seizure. My mom goes, Oh, but it wasn't a grand mall. I'm like, Oh, so you got to have a good seizure for my mom to give a shit. It's gotta be a grand. I go, don't people have grand mall seizures, have medicine? Well, they should. She'll get, thankfully somebody else also finally rang a bell and it was a cardiologist and they helped. But I'm this, I would trust my mom. I trust my mom way more in an emergency than I do in day to day life.

[00:36:00] Oh, she's very good at emergencies. Yeah. Lift her own devices to spin around. I don't know about all that, but, and the older people, they kind of cut right to the chase. No bullshit. They don't become panicky. They're not alarmed. No, they're hard, hard ass. Yep. Just bite the bullet. Here's a stick. Chew on it for a while. You're fine. Here's a stick. You're too many tongues.

[00:36:29] Speaking of Meghan Markle. Mm-hmm. Oh, God. Her show with love, Meghan, will now not be on January 15th. It will be delayed until March 6th. Fourth? Hold on. She's gotta get her shit together. Because of the fires, they thought it might seem tone deaf to do a lifestyle thing where she's walking around picking raspberries off somebody else's property. No one's gonna watch it. I don't know. People might. No. She's being hit with copyright claims over the show already.

[00:36:59] Um, because it has similarities to other programs and celebrity projects including Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop website, Martha Stewart's books and TV shows, and Pippa Middleton's party planning book Celebrate. Oh! I'm gonna do my own book. Don't fuck with Pippa. And it's just gonna be fattening Midwest shit that's just gonna say, you know, this is not healthy and it wasn't meant to be. Um, she also has been, she's being accused of borrowing ideas from Emma's Kitchen, a YouTube cooking show hosted by Emma Weemuth. Borrowing?

[00:37:29] The Marchionist of Bath. Oh! What's a Marchionist? What's a Marchionist? Google that. Marchionist. Like lioness except marchiness. As well as a 2000 recipe from a, she took a recipe from a 2018 U.S. lifestyle magazine. Hello. It's a... What's a Marchionist? Yes. A woman holding the rank of Marquess. Yes. Like Marquis? Like the Marquis de Sade. Marquis. Oh. Yeah.

[00:37:59] Uh, well, it's trouble down the pike. But anyway, it's being postponed. So, there you go. Um, update! Okay. I just saw the funniest. The story is about Tic Tac, and I just saw the funniest Tic Tac. Uh-huh. It's a lady like my age. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Because Tic Tac, that's what I love about it. And, um, to whichever Chinese spy has been assigned me, I will always love you.

[00:38:28] I hope you've enjoyed the pictures of the cats. Right. All 97,000. I don't know if you noticed there was an additional cat about five months ago named Cedric. Mm-hmm. Um, there's a lady like my age, and she's got a winter coat on, and she's got two bags full of shit, and it's her walking into a home, and she says, me walking into my new Chinese foster parents so I can keep my Tic Tac. My new Chinese foster family's house. That's great. That's great.

[00:38:58] So, here's where we're at, termites. If you care about the Tic Tac. I do care. I like it. Yeah. And I finally just learned how to post old videos. God damn it. And every time I learn something, it expires. Yeah. Or goes away. Yeah. Or changes. Never forget when I finally did it on, uh, what was the one? Before Facebook. MySpace. MySpace. Mm-hmm. As soon as I posted a video, and I do- You had to do code and stuff. It's crazy. No, you just had to do the URL and then move it from YouTube over to the MySpace thing,

[00:39:28] and then my nephews walk by me doing it on the computer, and they're like, yeah, nobody does that anymore. I can't. I'm like, what? I just learned this. What are you talking about? They're like, yeah, everybody's moved over to Facebook. Yeah. I'm like, oh, okay. Anyway. Tic Tac's fate in the United States is now up to the hands of the Supreme Court, and things are not looking good for the app. The Supreme Court on Friday heard oral arguments over the law that could ban Tic Tac in the United States.

[00:39:55] The law signed by President Joe Biden in April requires Tic Tac to be sold off from its Chinese-based parent company, ByteDance, or face a U.S. ban. The hearing did not seem to go well for Tic Tac. Well, you know what the lawyer should have done? Acted out their arguments in 30-second videos. How funny would that have been? It'd be great. It'd be hilarious. It's making it more than likely that the ban will go into effect starting on January 19th.

[00:40:21] Most of the justices appear to uphold the law, lobbying tough questions at Tic Tac lawyers and its users about the relevance of their arguments that the law violates the First Amendment. First of all, I'm just not seeing Judge Sotomayor or what's-his-face, the uptight one. I don't see Brett Kavanaugh on Tic Tac. They don't probably enjoy the fruits of Tic Tac. So they're going to be negative anyway.

[00:40:51] There are a lot of lingering questions how the ban would work in practice, but there's no precedent for the U.S. government blocking a major social media platform. And how much of the government plans to enter to enforce it remains unclear. Even Tic Tac attorney Noel Francisco seemed uncertain on how the ban would go down. On January 19th, as I understand it, we shut it down. Beyond being unavailable in app stores. So if you don't have it yet, get it now because it's just going to disappear.

[00:41:19] But I mean, they just have to pay a fine if you offer it. What's the fine? You know, is it affordable? Right. Tic Tac will not suddenly disappear from existing users' phones. But what's going to happen, they're not going to give you updates anymore and eventually it won't work. Because that's what happens to all of my computers on a regular basis. And trust me, they're not kidding. When they keep saying, hey Kathleen, would you like to do an update?

[00:41:48] No, no, no. And then eventually it doesn't work. All of my galleries started going away in my phone. All my pictures started disappearing one at a time. It's because I didn't update it. No, I haven't updated my phone. It's still sitting down there. I've had for three weeks. It's in a bag that says T-Mobile. I'll help you. True. I need to do it before the 19th. We'll do it today. All right. I don't like to do it on football days. Because I'm checking my stats and stuff. And there's a football game tonight.

[00:42:18] All right. Well, DraftKings, I want to do live betting? Come on. Now we get to the root of the problem. Here's how it's going to work. Technically, TikTok could take its ball and go home, blocking access to the app for American users itself as a way of rebuking the United States government and strengthening its bargaining position with the support of the millions of newly irate people bereft of their beloved TikTok. They're right. Yeah. Take it away. You'll see. Wait till the children come for you.

[00:42:49] People don't understand the power of the children. Pitch force and fire. They don't get mad about much. Pitch force and fire. Pitch force and knives. Pitch force and knives. Knives and pitch force. Knives and they'll come. But it's but given how hard it's fought to avoid a ban, it's more likely U.S. government will have to act to enforce the law. It is widely expected the U.S. government will force app store generators like Google and Apple to remove TikTok from their platforms. This would be New Year's. I mean, New Year's won't be able to download it.

[00:43:16] TikTok's existing American users could still use app on their phones, but they won't be able to update it via the app stores, meaning the company won't be able to fix bugs or security holes. I don't really care about that. No. I don't care about security. Okay. Yeah. You're saying that on the live mic. Well, people are banking online. Our whole lives are online. Like we can't you can't act like. I don't know. As soon as banking went online, I'm like, okay, so we're just we're just trusting this. Yeah. This whole thing.

[00:43:46] Like nobody can break in and steal all your money. I guess not. Not so far. Eventually, the app will be difficult, if not impossible to use. It's potentially vulnerabilities will become known in the app and half of hackers will take advantage of those opportunities to compromise your account on the device. Could you get around a band and then they go into all that? You don't need to know. Trump promises to save tick tock, but is added uncertainty to how a band would would unfold. Shocking. Yeah. So I don't know.

[00:44:18] It's going to be weird. You don't want the children coming for you, though. I know that. No. No, you don't want that. No. No. Well, I had to. This. I didn't know these existed. An extremely rare yellow cardinal flies into a Michigan backyard. Say hello to Donovan. Oh!

[00:44:47] They named it. Nice. Now I'm going to be obsessed with finding a yellow cardinal. I did not know they existed, and I would almost say it's prettier than the red ones. Really? Yep. Just before Christmas, two backyard birders. Is that what they call bird watching people? Burgers? In Michigan, we're in for the ultimate surprise. Burgers! A yellow northern cardinal. Oh, maybe they're only up north. Arlene and John McDaniel spotted the incredibly rare bird in the backyard in Bath, Michigan, near East Lansing. I really couldn't believe it.

[00:45:17] We get a lot of cardinals. There's always a lot here. The males are just stunningly beautiful red, and the females are more orangey. But we saw this yellow one that really made it distinctive other than its beak is also yellow. Oh, wow. So they started taking pictures of it. Oh, my God. They named the bird Donovan in an homage to the folk musician, the guy who wrote Mellow Yellow. Stop it. Oh, come on. It was a hit in the 60s, because everybody's doing weird psychedelics. I don't know.

[00:45:47] They are literally one in a million. That's, what, one in 10 million? You can't go look for it, then. Well, no, I'm not going to go look for it, but I have cardinal feeders all around here. I'll just keep an eye out. One of them's got a camera on it. The one has a camera on it. It's very fancy. So maybe I don't have to look. Maybe it'll just do it. These people have been, quote, birding for 30 years and have never seen one. So I don't know how many. Yeah. Bird people are.

[00:46:13] I wonder if it's only, I know bird people are their own breed for sure. I don't know if it's, is it only in the north? The north? Well, it's called the Northern Yellow Cardinal. Huh. Holy shit, they fire. Dinosaur tracks dating back 166 million years are discovered in England. Whoa! Yep. A worker digging up clay in southern England limestone quarry noticed unusual bumps that led to the discovery of a dinosaur highway. Whoa!

[00:46:43] And nearly 200 tracks that date back 166 million years. The extraordinary team made a find of more than 100 people that were excavating the Dewar's Farm quarry in Oxfordshire. Oxfordshire. Oxfordshire. Um, four sets of the tracks that make up the highway show paths taken by gigantic long-necked herbivores called sauropods thought to be Cediosaurus, a dinosaur that grew up to eight, 60 feet in length.

[00:47:12] Whoa! Holy shit. A fifth set belonged to Megalosaurus, a ferocious nine-meter predator that left a distinctive triple-claw print and was the first dinosaur to be scientifically named two centuries ago. That's amazing. That is amazing. Because I'm not sure you'd know what you were looking at. You know? What? The last Northern Cardinal that was yellow was spotted in Alabama. The last Northern Cardinal was spotted in Alabama? Yeah, but in the snow. All right, well great. Then maybe Tennessee or Missouri can have one.

[00:47:42] Not that you're a dinosaur. I could tell you drifted on my dinosaur thing. That's all right. You don't need to know what's going on. I'll go to the Smithsonian D.C. by myself. And you know what? When we go to the dinosaur part, I'll take a video for you if it's allowed. We're moving on to news. This is upsetting on one level. Okay. And on the other level, I understand we have to progress.

[00:48:12] Girl Scouts are retiring two cookie flavors. Oh. What? Don't worry. Thin Mints are safe! Boom! Those are my favorite by a million. Oh, so good. The two soon-to-be-departed cookie flavors leaving the Girl Scout lineup may not even be ones you've heard of unless there's a Girl Scout in your family. They sneak in new flavors, but they don't put them everywhere. Yeah, some of them are gross. Some are nuts. That's more things. Awful. Well, that's what you're losing. Oh, really?

[00:48:40] At the close of 2025 cookie season, two beloved cookie flavors, Girl Scouts, S'mores, and Toast Yay! That's actually the name. Toast dash yay. Toast yay! Toast yay! What is that? I don't know. It looks like toast. It's shaped like toast, the cookie. Named by a child. Well, I just, I've never thought S'mores, I don't like them, and I am the last one to be cautious or careful. But I never understood why anyone thought this was a good idea to give us kids a bunch

[00:49:09] of sticks, fire, and then a marshmallow that's gonna get so fucking hot that when you touch it, the insides will adhese to your, like, Gorilla Glue to your fingers, and you're burning your hands. I mean, I love fire, so I was in favor of, yeah, let's have S'mores. I didn't really want the S'mores. I just wanted the fire. Right. Fire, fire, fire! Fire! Fire! But, I never tasted either one of these flavors. They're based on the classic campfire snack. They were introduced in the 2017 season. Toast yay!

[00:49:37] Inspired by French toast flavor, and stamped with the Scout logo, popped into existence in 2021. Oh, well that was a COVID deal. Yeah. Nobody knew about it. No. We routinely reevaluate our cookie lineup to make room for new innovations. This continuing toast yay, and S'mores may lead to something new and more delicious. I'm open to it. Well, somebody's gonna eat a trombo. Yeah, this is what I'm gonna say. Well, somebody's sad about it. Uh-oh.

[00:50:08] Oh no, it broke. Oh no! Baby Cat, did you do... Oh! Oh! Oh! Two flavors gone. It's gone. Um... Yeah. Toast yay. Toast yay. That's gotta be a misprint. It's gone. Well, you could go get a box this year if you want. Yep. But then they're gonna be gone. Bye. Speaking of food... We need to get some toast yay's then. Toast yay's, yeah. Um...

[00:50:33] The kids up at the Kroger, the grocery store, they usually hang out in front of there. I'll go find them. I saw you saw the Wienermobile. Saw the Wienermobile at Kroger. Yep. It was a mini one though. Not mini, but like half the size of an enormous one. And then people were like, go get a whistle. And I didn't even know what that meant. Well, Google it. See what... What did they give away for you? They were giving away coupons. I knew that. For hot dogs. But I...

[00:51:02] I was already done shopping. I didn't need to go back in. And I wasn't going back in for it. Cause it was before the snowstorm. And everybody's crazy. Everybody's crazy. Everybody's crazy. You get a free... Yep, you get one. Is it in the shape of a Wienermobile? It's called a Wiener whistle. A Wiener whistle. Oh, okay. Well shit, I wish I'd have known. 1951. That's when they invented it, 1951? The Wiener whistle? Also featured in air.

[00:51:32] The 64 World's Fair. Yeah. In a vending machine you could buy... They should put those back in there. I'd do it. Yeah. I'll put it in the snow. Speaking of hot dogs, little fatty Kim Jong-un in North Korea, he's banned hot dogs. What? You know that fat little fucker's eaten tons of them. He's allegedly trying his best to expunge any Western influence from North Korea. The influence also extends to food, including every American's favorite, the hot dog. Well, that's not my favorite.

[00:52:01] Why is there a reason to live if you can't have a hot dog? He's recently been on a tear banning all kinds of delicious treats, fearing that they represent values unaligned with the North Korean way of life. But considering the North Korean way of life seems to include a lot of starvation, the ban seems a little counterintuitive. But hey, why feed the people when you can allegedly ban hot dogs for being, quote, too American? Hot dogs have been gaining traction in the South Korean culinary scene for some time now.

[00:52:28] The hot dog is a symbol of Westernization to him, so he's allegedly decreed that the serving or selling of hot dogs is now classified as an act of treason. Whoa! And let me just shout out, if there's any North Koreans listening, he doesn't seem to fuck around when it comes to life. He seems pretty serious. If there's anybody been a guy who keeps his bad promises, I would say he's probably one of them. I would be terrified of him, that fat, he's waddling up his fat little arms. Give me a hot dog.

[00:52:59] Dastardly hot dog eaters or sellers faced arrest and potential hard labor service. Hard labor? Hard labor? Yeah. Free no matter. Hold on, he's banned some other things, too. He's not very bad. He does not seem like a good time Charlie. No. You know what he likes? His cigs. He's a chain smoker. He loves cigs. And he loves action movies. Every time you get some sort of dictator type, really they're all just sitting in their house watching Rambo.

[00:53:28] It's always amazing how many, Sylvester Stallone, they love Scarface. Yeah. And they just sit there and smoke cigs and eat whatever they want. Lobster. What's his face? Lobster. Yeah. The Syrian guy, Assad. Yeah. You know, a bazillion cars. Yeah. Just, you know, gathering shit. And you're just gonna... Kim Jong probably won't get run out. No. But Assad the whole time, you should have been thinking, uh oh. Yeah. They're coming. Yeah. He made it out, but with what? Right.

[00:53:58] Hot dogs. This would not be the first food, Kim Jong on his ban for being food eaten by the enemy. Okay. I'm gonna try to say this. The enemy. Tio Bucky is a delicious South Korean dish made up of rice cake served in a soupy sauce of Korean chili pepper. That sounds horrible. Banned.

[00:54:21] Buddha Jigae, a.k.a. army based stew, is a delicious if extremely unhealthy dish that fuses ramen and Kimi-chi with spam and American cheese, among other ingredients, to create the perfect meal after you've had a few drinks. So it's a hangover, Drunky the Clown food. In addition to labeling hot dogs as treasonous, there are reports that anyone seeking a divorce in North Korea will be punished with a sentence up to a labor camp for one to six months. Wow. That's great.

[00:54:51] I speak for all of us advice when I say that it's every human's inalienable right to celebrate their legal separation from their shitty spouse by gorging on hot dogs. Ha ha ha ha. Kim Jong, you fat little monster. Why does he even... I don't understand. It's just another... Like a whim. I don't know what... I mean, trying to make sense of what these... He's bored. He's sitting up there waddling around in his little onesie suit. Ha ha ha. I don't know.

[00:55:20] Oh, let's have another parade. We just had one yesterday, dude. Okay? We can't... We're not gonna do it again. Well, how about a parade honoring me again? No, we're not. No, no. We gotta figure out something else to do. Then fine, I'm banning divorce. That's what I'm gonna do at breakfast. Ha ha ha ha. God. What do you even care? Exactly. I don't even know how he knows. Well, anyway. He's married, isn't he? Kim Jong-un is married. Yeah. Yes. And I think... To a K-pop.

[00:55:48] He has a sister, they always say, and she's real pretty. She's really pretty. Yeah. He just looks like... Yeah. He's a little chubster rolling around. He's roly-poly. Yeah. He's a little roly-poly. He hates K-pop? Oh, right. Cause South Koreans are killing it with the K-pop. Mm-hmm. I'm surprised he hasn't developed his own kind of K-pop. I mean if... Yeah, Northern K- Cause if the South Koreans are good, I'm sure the North Koreans are good too.

[00:56:18] Yeah. Or he should shoot bullets. Yeah. You just shoot at their feet and boy, you watch them dance. This is horrible. He's a dick. What'd you do today? I created some ideas for Kim Jong-un to torture people. But boy, if you could get in one of those boy bands, your life would probably be pretty awesome. Totally. We all know how I love Mark Zuckerberg. Oh no. Don't. Don't love him at all. Meta.

[00:56:46] I love how we've transitioned too. It's still Facebook. Just stop it. It's getting rid of fact checkers. He acknowledged more harmful content will appear on the platforms right now. Now, you know, okay. You've already got my parents believing that there's great white sharks, megalodons in the Hudson River in New York. You already aren't fact checking. No. I know because it's always a picture where my parents would send it to me and go, we're not sure about this.

[00:57:13] Well, they have learned now to start their thing with, we're not sure this is real, but we had to teach them all that. Don't go swimming. Yeah. Bigfoot was not in Dillard's. Mom, I don't know why you would think that's even possible. That Dillard's is closed by your house. Anyway, in a number of sweeping changes that will significantly alter the way that post videos and other content are moderated online. Meta will adjust its content review. Now, this is also after he just went down to Mar-a-Lago and dropped a million dollars into Trump's campaign.

[00:57:43] And then I think he said, hey, do you mind if I just turn off all that? Like, can you make sure that's cool? And Trump won't care. No. At this point, I don't know if anyone should care. Maybe if it becomes completely ludicrous, everybody will quit. That's if you just let it go to its worst degree, its umpteenth degree, maybe people will go, I'm kind of sick of this. I'm getting a little sick of Twitter. I'm not in, I loved it in the beginning.

[00:58:12] 2009 is when I signed up for God's sakes. There was so much funny stuff and sports stuff, entertainment stuff. And now I just feel like it's massive fighting. It is good though for updates like with the fire thing. If you hit search and you put like Encino fire, it's specific to Encino. It's like, and that, that is hard to do anymore. But anyway, here's the rest of this one. Medical justice content review policies on Facebook and Instagram, getting rid of fact checkers and replacing them with user generated community notes.

[00:58:42] So we're going to edit it. All of us. We're just going to say that's not true. All right. Yeah, that's totally true. The changes come just before Donald Trump is set to take office. Trump and other Republicans have lambasted Zuckerberg in matter for what they considering the censorship of right wing voices. So he's saying, oh, great. I'll let everybody on. If they were doing that, I don't know. Were they? Fact checkers have been too politically biased and destroyed more trust than they've created.

[00:59:11] Zuckerberg, who by the way, now looks like a 70s drug dealer. He let his hair grow crazy curly and he's wearing like weird jewelry. And it ended up his like button shirt is not buttoned enough. Like, I don't know what's happening over there. I'm like, oh, what's up, Frank from Scarface? Frank. Come on, Frank. Come on, Frank. It was a great movie. Frank, you're going to go to La Clownie or not?

[00:59:39] Anyway, what started as a movement to be more inclusive has increasingly been used to shut down opinions and shut down out people with different voices that have gone too far. I don't know. My right wing friends seem to post what they like. I'd have to ask them. Do you feel like you've gotten censored? Or maybe it's the crazy conspiracy shit that we don't need floating around and making people angry over shit that's plausible or not plausible or just nobody knows. Let's not get all riled up about shit.

[01:00:06] We have enough shit to get riled up about that we do know more or less adding. The announcement comes amid a broader ideological shift to the right within Meta's top ranks and as Zuckerberg seeks to improve his relationship with Trump before he takes office later this month. Just one day earlier, Meta announced that Trump ally and UFC CEO Dana White would join its board. UFC guy. Along with two other new directors, Meta also said it'll donate $1 million to his inaugural fund

[01:00:36] because the inaugural fund, nobody's saying it's being paid privately, which means anybody who makes a donation, nobody will know who did that. Right. And then Trumpy will owe them a favor or whatever. Right. So far the entertainment is Carrie Underpants. Carrie Underwood. One way to remind your career. Carrie Underwood. She just got Trump by Lainey Wilson. Literally. And I don't mean Trump as in Donald. I mean. What? Yeah. Literally. Literally. Yeah. Anyway.

[01:01:06] He wants us to be Wikipedia and do all the work and like who gives a shit. Right. So, I mean, I don't know. I don't trust anything I see on Facebook. I don't even look at Facebook. No. I have it because of work. Yes. And then, um, I do, I mean, my own Instagram, that's me. Twitter, that's me. Facebook, it's me, but I can't monitor all those comments. That's all I do all goddamn day.

[01:01:35] I mean, I can't sit there and, um, yeah. Anyway. Did you know that Henry Ford's nephew created the first Wiener Mobile? Did you know that Henry Ford? Well, good. Somebody fun. Because let me tell you what, if you watch that PBS thing on Henry Ford, the old man, he's not a fun person at all. Didn't even believe his own son had stomach cancer. And then the kid died and he's like, the guy was like 45, but he was like, well, shit, guess I should have believed him. Who doesn't believe your kid?

[01:02:05] College interns are called hotdoggers? I like it. They are taking applications for drivers again. I'm too old. You're too old. No, I'm not. Yeah, there's a whole list of requirements. Ageism? Yeah. Maybe they just know that we're, we're not as on spot as we used to be and they don't want us driving their goddamn Wiener mobile around. Come on. All we gotta do is give up dogs. They have a right to say that. No. You gotta drive it.

[01:02:35] Do you trust us? You know what I would give? You charge a child. Here's what I would give $20 million for. Yeah. To watch my mom drive it. It would never leave the parking lot. It would just keep going. It would go in circles and then she'd go in reverse for no reason whatsoever. And then she'd just keep going in left turns because she, she, right turns, whatever she's decided she won't do or will do because of UPS. It would never go anywhere, but it would be a great Instagram video. Let's try it. Let's make your, let's.

[01:03:06] I'm gonna, let's make, no, I'm gonna fill out an application on her behalf. Yeah. She's 83. Do it. Um, wait, this is funny. So for you guys who do not play fantasy football, usually in your fantasy football league, whoever loses, you have, you can make them and we all get to vote. Do something ridiculous. The craziest shit I ever saw was it was a league in Nebraska or Kansas. This was on ESPN and they made the loser.

[01:03:35] The loser had to get a tattoo of their choosing. Shut up. So these guys all got together and this was like this big farm guy, like a beefy strong. They made him now you as the loser get to pick where the tattoo goes. Yeah. So you can hide it, you know, and they made him get, um, Tatiana from frozen. It could be little, but you still have to do it. And he did it. And he was like, yeah, well, I don't know. It kind of makes me laugh.

[01:04:04] I have like, well, this guy, here's one in Nashville fantasy football, loser doomed to spend all day at Jason Aldean's bar. Yeah. Sometimes you're in a bar. I wouldn't choose Jason Aldean. No, but, um, when it comes to fantasy football, sometimes it's not so much about winning. It's more about not losing these days. The punishments are finishing in a league seem to be more motivating than the actual prize money. They kind of are.

[01:04:33] You just don't want to lose anything but losing as winners and losers of fantasy are determined all over the country. One hand is served out as punishment at Jason Aldean's kitchen and rooftop bar in Nashville. At least they let him have fun. Um, he goes by stone Titan on Twitter where he documented the entire ordeal. My fantasy football punishment is arrived punishment. Stay. Listen to this. He had to stay at Jason Aldean's on Broadway from open to close. That's 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

[01:05:03] Rules. A beer removes 30 minutes. Oh, a shot of rumple rumple mint. They mean that takes an hour away. I hope somebody drove him and picked him up. No leaving the bar for any reason. It's in all caps. Uh, so a beer takes off 30 minutes and a shot takes off an hour. Okay. I don't like rumple mints. Let that be. I wish they made a shot of anything.

[01:05:32] Why does it have to be rumple mints? The man gave updates through his experience. It turns out he did not opt to drink beer at any point throughout the day, but he did give the rumple mint shots given to the heat. In fact, he had 13 shots. Oh, God. Oh, well, he's there. What's 10 to 3 p.m. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. What do you mean? It doesn't close at 3 p.m. He mean, they mean 3 a.m. It's 10 a.m.

[01:05:58] No, it closes at the bars close down here at 2, right? That's a misfriend, but whatever. He was there forever. He was able to knock 13 hours off his stay, but he didn't provide any updates as to how his stomach felt later. Um, okay. Yeah. He knocked off a lot of hours. Um, his tab, not including food at the end of his stay, total of 169 bucks based on the timestamps on his bill.

[01:06:27] He closed out at about 7 p.m. Since the bar opened at 10 a.m. That's it. That means he spent nine hours at Jason Aldean's bar. I hope the band was good, which is probably a good thing since he needed to spread those shots out. He also made sure to send updates to his followers and let them know he got home safely. That's good. He tweeted, you see you next year, buddy. Under these circumstances, I certainly hope not. He responded with a crying, laughing emoji.

[01:06:57] It's a good sport. Good for him. Good for you. As Rocky Laporte would say, good for you. Lewis would never get a tattoo. No, because then he can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery and that would make him cry. What? You can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery if you have a tattoo. I mean, I guess you can if you don't mind breaking the rule. Cool. Right. But, no. I will never get a tattoo. I have a couple. You have a couple? It hurts sort of a one.

[01:07:26] Good for you. I, my nieces put those fade on ones on, you know, they last for like three showers. The lick them ones? Do you stick them, you just pull them off a thing and stick them on you and then wet them and you know, it's like old school. Yeah, they put dolphins all over me. They were like three and I just let them do it. Like, was this last week? That would be weird now. Yeah. No. They were little and they were just like, yeah, they got so excited that these tattoos could

[01:07:55] just go on people, any people. Oh, the whole family had like a hundred tattoos for three showers and then it was gone. Wow. Here's two feel good stories. Do you guys know what a, a, a, a Martin is? A pine Martin? It's a bird, isn't it? No, it's not a bird. It's, um, it's like a weasel. Yeah. But it's really cute. A trapper, um, accidentally caught a pine Martin in his bobcat trap set in northern Minnesota

[01:08:23] and he weaned him back to health and let him go. Oh. Isn't that nice? Oh, that's nice. Uh huh. It's also illegal. And out of sea, out of season, pine Martin was in the trap and appeared to be dead. As required by the law, he called the conservation department officer to report the illegal catch. He, he, he called me almost in tears saying he had a pine Martin in his bobcat set and he didn't want the animal to die. As I was on the phone with him, he said, oh, hold on. The eyes just moved. The next thing I know he hung up.

[01:08:49] The man called Pratcher back a few minutes later to say he revived the animal. He described to me a great deal how he actually put his lips on the nose and blew air into it. Oh. Yeah. Wow. That's a nice guy. He put it into his all-terrain vehicle. They're really cute. It kind of looks like a, well, a weasel is the best thing I can say. They have little tiny heads like a cat, but almost got stuffed animal-y. Are they cute? They're very cute. Yeah.

[01:09:14] He was so unsettled by the incident, he decided to collect all of the 10 bobcat traps he'd set in the area. They didn't release his name. He did not want to be interviewed. Minnesota sells licenses for people to trap bobcats for their pelt. What are we making bobcat pelts into? Uh, I don't know. Uh, I've never, there's no such thing as a bobcat coat, I don't think. Yes, boy.

[01:09:41] Bobcats are so cool, I just hate for them to be killed for, no, not a lot of money. I mean, if they're not that valuable. They're just awesome to see out in the wild. Hats, scarves, and muffs. Hats, scarves, and muffs. And they're usually in Asia. Usually in Asia? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh, but that's a sweet story. Yeah. Good for that guy.

[01:10:05] And then, this one sounds like my ultimate, this is so great this happened. Okay. Bar guest staff, and the staff, at Britain's highest bob, meaning the highest in the mountains where the snow comes in England, which I'm sure compared to Canada is not quite that high. But for them, it's high. Yeah. Um, they were rescued after being snowed in for five days, and they all vowed to remain in touch, um, back to reality. So they got stranded at this bar.

[01:10:35] Cool. And, uh, guests snowed in together for five days at Britain's highest pub, have swapped phone numbers, and vowed to keep in touch. Freddie Swift, 39, was traveling with his partner, boss, and friends when he became stuck at the Tan Hill located, the Tan Hill Inn, located in North Yorkshire, which is about 1700 feet above sea level. They were, they were part of a group of 23 guests and six staff members who were stuck at the pub for five days. And you see this pub, and you're like, yes, I would like to be stuck there for five days.

[01:11:04] Yes, the only thing we have to do is drink and play cards. How fun is that? Um, relieved workers included the inn's housekeeper, Babs Phillips, 51, who missed the birth of her new granddaughter. Well, you'll catch up, no problem. It was nice being stuck at Snowden, back to reality, but there's people everywhere in London. Um, it's nice to be, it was nice to be stuck and snowed in, back to reality. There's people everywhere in London. It was a great experience and a great adventure, but obviously we need to get back to reality.

[01:11:32] But it was a bit of a shock, to be honest. Um, they, they were told on Tuesday they were going to get rescued, but to make it a speedy exit, I guess the ice was melting. I mean, free freezing. It was so bendy and windy and obviously underneath the snow, there's ice. So we just had to be ready to take it slowly. Um, it took them nine hours to get back to civilization. Um, yeah, they had everything on the menu. They chicken fajitas. They went through most of the starters, Yorkshire pudding, which was a lot of the

[01:12:02] special fish and chips, pub classics, working through their menu being for there for days. That'd be so fun. Um, yeah, it took them nine hours to get back down. They had to go super slow. We're going to close this out. I have no thank yous cause I didn't go on the road and, um, oh yeah, I got to show this. Boom. So this t-shirt is now available online. And what does it say on the back?

[01:12:31] Nobody manifest like Mindy. And then it has Madigan's pub cast on the front and it's like sixties. Fine. Like supposed to be hippie. Cool. I want to make it in long sleeve. Turn around. Does anybody care about that? I think it'd be really cool. It's short sleeve for now. It's supposed to be a, uh, Oh shit. Whoa. Oh, did you see the earthquake that just happened that I just did with the t-shirt? I did that. That's my fault.

[01:12:56] Um, yeah, so I don't get, so I just have to, um, just do quotes and then that's it termites. I gotta move on. I gotta move on. I gotta go. I'm going to go eat a cheeseburger. Nice. For lunch. Yeah. At my biker bar. Yeah. It's never crowded in the day. No. And it's never really crowded in the winter. No. It's a good time of year. The biker folks aren't really out. Who are you going for tonight? Tonight?

[01:13:25] I want Minnesota to win. Mm-hmm. My betting brain. Uh-oh. Says the Rams will win. No! I'm just saying, do I want Minnesota? Yes. So usually when I want a team to win and I'm not sure they're gonna win, I don't bet on who wins. I bet on over-unders. I bet on individual touchdowns. That's what's great about DraftKings. It's so much better than like old school Vegas where you had to stand there and look at some giant board. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You just go, Justin Jefferson, touchdown. Yes.

[01:13:54] And then I'll parlay that. Parlay as we know means I combine it with one more thing. Both have to come true to win the bet. And then I'll say it's gonna be over... Tonight I would say over 42 for sure. Really? They're both good offenses. Yep. And I don't know how much I trust their defenses. True. Yep. Let's get a quote from Stevie. Okay.

[01:14:24] Hold on, I'm just looking. Give me a time. One more second. Wow, there's a lot. Okay. That's a good one. I wouldn't like to be in movies. Movie people are strange. They live a different life than musicians do. Movie people are strange.

[01:14:51] Now, I would agree, Lewis and I always talk about this, that really good actor people scare us. Like I wouldn't want to be married to one. No. Like let's say, let's say you're married to Nicole Kidman. Okay. And I know from seeing your work that you're capable of turning into any kind of personality at any given moment. True. You can cry on command. You can... So I don't... How do I know that's real? It would be freakish. Yeah.

[01:15:21] Yeah. Stand up comics are weird, but we're not like deep like that. We're not emotional. No. You guys all together are... We are the circus of misfit toys. Yeah. The actor people are the beautiful ones. You know, they're like, we're not. We're just the normal people. Well, they might not be beautiful. Well, a lot of them are. They might not. They might be weird. Oh. No.

[01:15:52] The Queen on life. According Queen Elizabeth. Thank God. The world is not the most pleasant place. Eventually, your parents leave you and nobody is going out of their way to protect you. No! Unconditionally, you need to learn to stand up for yourself and what you believe and sometimes, pardon my language, kick some ass.

[01:16:21] Well, she, the irony is, you have a whole country protecting you unconditionally. Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah. But, it's a good grandma quote. Ah. I like it. As a Canadian, I am nice. As a Canadian. I know, I'm not into the royal schmoyle anything. Royal schmoyle. No. Yeah. Bippity-boppity-boo. Bippity-boppity-boo. Episode 209. So that's it. I will see you in Omaha. I will see you in Cedar Falls. Are you excited?

[01:16:51] What are you going to do in Omaha? Are you going to go see Warren Buffett's house? I've already seen Warren Buffett's house. I don't need to drive by Grandpa's again. It's so boring. Yeah. Yeah. He's a boring guy. Yeah. He's weird. Very wealthy. There's nothing, it's not, it just looks like a, it's in a neighborhood, there's nicer houses in the neighborhood. Yeah. It also looks a little sad, like it needs a little updating, but Warren, Warren seems kind of spectrum-y. And I say that in all the ways that you would mean that.

[01:17:21] Like every day he methodically goes, and my nephew's autistic, so I know these patterns, and he goes and gets his breakfast at the same McDonald's and he won't bet on a stock. I mean, it just goes on and on and on. They're not very super hyped up about change. No. So it looks like the house should have been updated quite some time ago. Yes. It looks like a grandma and grandpa house. Okay. Which is fine. Yeah. But no, I've seen it a million times. What am I going to do? Oh, I don't know. You're going to have anything fun planned?

[01:17:50] I don't have anything fun planned because I was waiting to see how cold it's going to be, but it's going to be fine. What about that spaghetti place you're talking about? The spaghetti, old spaghetti house downtown. Yeah, it's wonderful. They have an old school salad bar. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Spaghetti factory, the old spaghetti factory. It's in downtown, the old party town of Omaha. It's got a very cool old town. I'll probably go there for a fantastic lunch and watch Michael Palasek eat the entire salad bar. Nothing. I can't. Just watching him eat makes me happy.

[01:18:19] I'm like, who can do this? I don't know. I got a couple friends there. We'll see what they're doing. And then just know on Sunday in the Midwest, it's going to be below zero everywhere. All right. It's going to be terrible. Ready? Go to the next day.