Episode 208: Chernobyl’s Super Dogs, Pony Beers, & The Big Tipping Debate

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:24] Welcome, termites. Welcome. You've been very quiet. To episode 208 of the podcast. That's a lot. It's a lot. Tell your friends. We need more viewers or listeners or whatever you want to call it. YouTube. Followers.

[00:00:41] People. I really haven't put any work into advertising this either, so maybe it's on me, not on you guys. But yeah.

[00:00:51] Breaking news. Breaking news. Oh, there's new t-shirts that say nobody manifests like Mindy. When will they be available on the website?

[00:01:02] Friday. Okay, Friday. You hear that, termites? I've also been interrupted by some breaking news of a fire in California and I'm a little terrified for my little friends out there.

[00:01:11] Yeah. Because the winds are going to be like that in Lahaina and Hawaii. Yeah. And my friend Drew took a video going down Hollywood Boulevard and there's no cars.

[00:01:19] And I'm like, what? Where's the traffic? I said, are they freaked out? He said, yeah, the wind. And then because Drew is my favorite geeky friend, he sent me the pilot report from the private airport where he spins around in a plane.

[00:01:33] Very proud of Drew. He took flying lessons like at age 58 and he's a pilot now just for fun. Yeah. He's a really in real life, a money manager, a finance guy. Yeah. But.

[00:01:43] And he, yeah, yes, he did win the fantasy football league. Very sad. It was bullshit though. Hurricane Khan. It's my cousin, Connie. She should have won. She was dominating all year. That's how the playoffs go though. It's just like real football. The wild cards, these sneaky little people get in. They do not fucking belong there.

[00:02:01] The NFC should have at least four extra teams over the AFC South. It's ridiculous. You know, the Titans still have a chance. No, they don't. They're two and four teens. Stop talking.

[00:02:14] Dumbest team. Here's my award for the year. New England Patriots. You had the number one draft pick all for next year. All you had to do was lose your game. That's all you had to do is lose. And they fucking won. Yeah. Oh, I finished seventh. I was terrible. And I did pretty good all year.

[00:02:30] Well, then people started getting hurt. You know, how am I supposed to manage all this? I have a job too. This is my only job. And then the pick them pool. I won. Boom. Most wins overall. Uh, one 84.

[00:02:43] I tied though. I had to split it with some guy, Derek. And he's not even a relative. I don't know who Derek is, but Derek, congratulations. And then Lou's like, what about second place? I'm like, there's no money after me and Derek split it. Lewis, don't you worry about that.

[00:02:57] But yeah, Lewis is scrounging around for seconds and thirds and all those scraps. Um, uh, it was a great football weekend though. And here, this is what I love. What do I love? Like Stephen A. Smith to be fascinated and consume with Jerry Jones's behavior of the Dallas Cowboys.

[00:03:14] They asked him, Hey, do you think you'd let anybody else ever have a say so in any of this? He goes, no, no, I didn't buy a team. I bought an occupation to which Shannon Sharper.

[00:03:25] Somebody goes, well, that's the first time I ever heard anybody say they bought a job. Who does that? Who does that? I'm like, exactly. Shannon, who does that? You're right. Um, and then, uh, Jerry went on to say it's his occupation.

[00:03:37] It's he bought it when he was a young man to do for the rest of his life. Well, he's like 83 now. Pawpaw, sit down and enjoy the game.

[00:03:46] Here's it. Go to your night night. Here's some beers. Here's some popcorn. Enjoy the game. Let one of your square headed children. There's 9 million of them. Just let one of them.

[00:03:54] Then the Chicago, sorry to go off on football so soon. If you hate football, bear with me. I'm almost there, but it's getting heated because we're getting into the end of the year.

[00:04:02] Um, so they call it black Monday after the regular season when everybody gets fired, they fire, everybody's getting fired and more people should have been fired.

[00:04:11] I'm a little disappointed with the amount of people that got fired. Well, uh, they, the Chicago bears want to speak to Mike McCarthy, who's the coach of the Dallas Cowboys, but you have to get permission to do that.

[00:04:22] You can't do the sneaky under the table thing. Like a lot of the comedians do when we switch agents. So what, what, what? I would never do that. I'm not sneaky town. I can't do it too Catholic.

[00:04:31] Like I, I feel like I'll get caught. I wouldn't do it anyway, but anyway, the bears have asked for permission to speak to my, my car.

[00:04:38] The Jerry won't answer the phone.

[00:04:47] He's so juvenile new phone.

[00:04:49] Who it is? Wow. Why you got a three one two area code? What's that? What's that?

[00:04:53] Chicago? Click.

[00:04:57] Why would you want Mike McCarthy?

[00:04:58] Such an asshole.

[00:05:00] I love it though. I just love it.

[00:05:02] If I feel so bad for my friends, like Ron white,

[00:05:05] and there's a million comics that are cowboy fans.

[00:05:08] And this is what you're stuck with till this man dies.

[00:05:10] And I don't think he smokes. And I don't think he drinks.

[00:05:13] He could live to, he could be there when he's 89.

[00:05:16] The Ford lady in Detroit was like 104.

[00:05:18] I'll never forget. I was working in Detroit once.

[00:05:20] And so they go, uh, Mrs. Ford is going to have a press conference.

[00:05:24] I'm like the wait, the real one.

[00:05:27] No, no, no way.

[00:05:30] And I was supposed to go with the other comic.

[00:05:31] We were going to go eat lunch.

[00:05:32] I'm like, I can't leave.

[00:05:33] No, there's going to be 104 year old woman talking football out here in a minute.

[00:05:37] And what's wrong with the team and how she's going to fix it.

[00:05:39] I refuse to miss it.

[00:05:41] And thankfully the other comic was a football person too.

[00:05:44] It was like, no way.

[00:05:45] I go, swear to God, turn on the local news.

[00:05:47] It's busting everywhere.

[00:05:48] This is years ago in Detroit.

[00:05:49] I'm sure she's dead by now.

[00:05:51] Um, but yeah, it was a crazy weekend of football and it's freezing outside.

[00:05:57] So I didn't feel guilty staying inside.

[00:05:59] Not one bit.

[00:06:00] What are we drinking in honor of, um, Wisconsin?

[00:06:04] Why not?

[00:06:05] A Wisconsin termite Chuck sent me some Miller life, uh, stubbies.

[00:06:09] I love a stubby.

[00:06:10] And when this arrives with a bloody Mary, it's like somebody gave me a pony when I was seven.

[00:06:15] Like, I, like a horse.

[00:06:17] Like, I'm so excited.

[00:06:19] Don't you call those ponies?

[00:06:20] They, they are called pony beers.

[00:06:21] Yeah.

[00:06:22] Um, and they come all brands used to have them.

[00:06:25] I don't know anymore about the pony beers, but I, I, I just love a little Miller cause it's

[00:06:29] very fat.

[00:06:30] The fat little bottle.

[00:06:31] It's adorable.

[00:06:32] Um, so that's what we're drinking.

[00:06:35] Nice.

[00:06:35] Yeah.

[00:06:36] What are we going to be trying here?

[00:06:37] Well, I already did.

[00:06:38] I'll tell you the truth.

[00:06:39] Pringles.

[00:06:40] It's our last of our mingle series.

[00:06:42] Oh.

[00:06:42] Pringles, mingles, cheddar and sour cream.

[00:06:44] Crisp.

[00:06:45] Nice.

[00:06:45] And they're great.

[00:06:47] A plus.

[00:06:48] Are those your favorite?

[00:06:49] Mm-hmm.

[00:06:50] Yeah.

[00:06:50] They're really good.

[00:06:51] They taste like Cheetos.

[00:06:53] Truth be told.

[00:06:54] Yeah.

[00:06:54] But I love a Cheeto.

[00:06:55] That's why I like them.

[00:06:55] So there you go.

[00:06:57] And then.

[00:06:58] How about your pint was?

[00:07:00] My pint glass.

[00:07:00] This is from a termite.

[00:07:02] It says, keep calm and manifest like Mindy.

[00:07:06] Well, this lady is manifesting big lots to become total wine.

[00:07:10] I saw that.

[00:07:11] And then a termite wrote to me.

[00:07:12] It said, it was on Twitter, I think, that I think it was a she, I don't know, he, she,

[00:07:18] whomever.

[00:07:18] Somebody works at Total Wine as like a side gig and loves it.

[00:07:21] And I'm like, I think I would too.

[00:07:22] Yes.

[00:07:23] I'd even just be a stock person.

[00:07:25] I just want to see the beers that are coming in.

[00:07:26] The weird beers and the weird wines.

[00:07:28] Yeah.

[00:07:29] But the checkout's fun too.

[00:07:30] But like you'd be better at that.

[00:07:32] You're more social like that.

[00:07:33] I get weird one-on-one.

[00:07:35] Sometimes.

[00:07:37] I'm better in front of 10,000 people than I am in front of two.

[00:07:41] What she meant was.

[00:07:42] Yeah.

[00:07:42] Yeah.

[00:07:43] Right.

[00:07:43] No, that's my mom.

[00:07:44] My mom sometimes can be very socially awkward.

[00:07:47] Sometimes.

[00:07:48] Yeah.

[00:07:48] Yeah.

[00:07:49] Like at golf, I just go behind her and go, what she meant was.

[00:07:52] I'm just trying to clean it up.

[00:07:53] Nice.

[00:07:55] Tato's.

[00:07:55] Favorite Irish treat.

[00:07:57] Tato's.

[00:07:57] I love Tato's.

[00:07:58] And when I get so excited to stop for gas in Ireland, because every gas station has Tato's.

[00:08:02] Nice.

[00:08:04] They're so good.

[00:08:05] And then I have to mule them home.

[00:08:07] You mule home chips?

[00:08:08] I do.

[00:08:09] That's why at customs, if they ever open my bag, I just wait there and laugh.

[00:08:13] I'm like, you think you're going to find something here that matters, dude?

[00:08:16] You're going to find a 79-cent bag of potato chips.

[00:08:19] And you're going to find like 50 of them.

[00:08:21] Nice.

[00:08:21] Because I'm hoping half don't get smashed.

[00:08:24] Tato's, all I can say plus, but you got to get the salt and vinegar.

[00:08:27] Yeah.

[00:08:28] Now, here's a little something.

[00:08:29] Let's Google this.

[00:08:31] Paddles.

[00:08:32] Zaxby's.

[00:08:32] The restaurant.

[00:08:34] Is that just a Southern thing?

[00:08:36] I do not remember those in Missouri growing up.

[00:08:39] And I don't, I don't think I've ever seen them on the East Coast.

[00:08:43] Or the West Coast.

[00:08:46] Well.

[00:08:47] South.

[00:08:47] South.

[00:08:48] Just the South?

[00:08:49] Wait.

[00:08:54] California does.

[00:08:56] Wait.

[00:08:57] California, Florida, Georgia.

[00:08:58] New York.

[00:08:59] The state of New York?

[00:09:01] Yeah.

[00:09:01] Wow.

[00:09:02] North Carolina?

[00:09:03] Oh.

[00:09:04] I count that.

[00:09:04] Utah.

[00:09:05] Utah.

[00:09:06] Virginia.

[00:09:07] Virginia's the South.

[00:09:09] Hello.

[00:09:11] It's the South.

[00:09:13] Well, I'd never been to Zaxby's.

[00:09:15] Where'd you go?

[00:09:16] Yeah, there's one right by my house.

[00:09:18] Nice.

[00:09:18] And I always think, I should try that.

[00:09:20] But I just never have time.

[00:09:21] I'm always like running around.

[00:09:23] Well, I had time this week.

[00:09:25] So, I went through the drive-thru and got their chicken fingers.

[00:09:28] Yeah.

[00:09:29] Now, I do love Popeye's.

[00:09:31] But if you're not into hot and spicy.

[00:09:32] And sometimes Popeye's overcooks.

[00:09:34] Zaxby's are perfect.

[00:09:35] Really?

[00:09:35] Can't believe I missed out my whole life.

[00:09:37] This is a Zaxby sauce I'm eating.

[00:09:39] It comes with a.

[00:09:40] Zax sauce.

[00:09:41] Zax sauce.

[00:09:42] It's great.

[00:09:43] Yeah.

[00:09:43] It's like a mix of honey mustard.

[00:09:47] And.

[00:09:48] I don't know.

[00:09:50] A little hotter than honey mustard.

[00:09:53] It's delicious.

[00:09:54] Nice.

[00:09:54] A plus to Zaxby's.

[00:09:56] If you ever need a bunch of chicken wings for a party.

[00:09:59] Fly through the drive-thru.

[00:10:00] And I'm not being paid to say that by anyone on earth.

[00:10:03] Not being paid for anything.

[00:10:05] I did get some free pickleball things.

[00:10:08] So, I'll be discussing next week.

[00:10:09] Nice.

[00:10:09] From a company that I'm excited about.

[00:10:11] Upcoming shows before we get going here.

[00:10:14] Omaha.

[00:10:15] January 17th.

[00:10:16] Sold up.

[00:10:17] January 18th.

[00:10:18] Cedar Falls, Iowa.

[00:10:19] You can get.

[00:10:20] Tickets.

[00:10:21] Okay.

[00:10:22] Well.

[00:10:23] January 23rd.

[00:10:23] Spokane, Washington.

[00:10:24] I believe that sold out.

[00:10:25] January 25th.

[00:10:26] Scottsdale, Arizona.

[00:10:27] I think it's standing room only.

[00:10:28] But.

[00:10:29] You guys can do it.

[00:10:30] I'm no Tay Tay.

[00:10:31] I ain't gonna be up there four hours.

[00:10:33] Your knees can handle an hour and a half.

[00:10:34] Maybe an hour forty.

[00:10:35] Oh, maybe.

[00:10:37] Um.

[00:10:38] Tickets.

[00:10:38] No, there's.

[00:10:39] I don't know.

[00:10:40] They might.

[00:10:40] It's a casino.

[00:10:41] They always release tickets.

[00:10:42] Just check every day.

[00:10:43] January 31st.

[00:10:44] Uh.

[00:10:45] Huntington, New York.

[00:10:46] Second show added.

[00:10:47] Same night.

[00:10:48] Boom.

[00:10:48] Yeah.

[00:10:49] February 1st.

[00:10:50] Red Bank, New Jersey.

[00:10:51] February 7th and 8th.

[00:10:52] Durham.

[00:10:53] Two shows, two nights.

[00:10:55] Perfect.

[00:10:55] Which is my favorite.

[00:10:56] Yeah, that's my favorite thing.

[00:10:57] Yep.

[00:10:58] Uh.

[00:10:58] February 14th.

[00:10:59] Fort Lauderdale.

[00:11:00] February 15th.

[00:11:01] Fort Myers.

[00:11:02] February 20th.

[00:11:03] Davenport, Iowa.

[00:11:04] Oh my God.

[00:11:06] I gotta get new long underwear.

[00:11:08] My Eddie Bowers have worn out and they're from the outlet mall like 20 years ago and I love

[00:11:13] them.

[00:11:13] No, me and my mom went and she's like, why are you buying long underwear?

[00:11:16] We don't live anywhere.

[00:11:17] We're calling that long underwear.

[00:11:18] I'm like, you just shut up lady.

[00:11:20] You don't know about my circulation and you don't know where I go or what I do.

[00:11:23] Yes.

[00:11:24] I'm going to fucking Minnesota in February.

[00:11:27] Try Carhartt.

[00:11:29] Carhartt?

[00:11:29] Oh, Carhartt.

[00:11:31] They're long underwear.

[00:11:32] Well, the problem, Eddie Bowers was perfectly thin so I can wear them under jeans and stuff.

[00:11:36] I have another pair from somewhere else.

[00:11:39] They're too thick.

[00:11:40] I mean, they're good if I'm going to go sleigh riding.

[00:11:42] Who says that?

[00:11:44] Exactly.

[00:11:47] I would not, I would not sleigh ride anymore, but I will go in a tube, which is actually probably

[00:11:53] more dangerous.

[00:11:54] Yeah.

[00:11:55] Yeah.

[00:11:55] Yeah.

[00:11:55] Yeah.

[00:11:56] I'm going to take, it's supposed to snow here on Friday.

[00:11:58] I'm going to take baby cat out.

[00:11:59] Yeah.

[00:12:01] She'll hate you.

[00:12:02] This is a toboggan.

[00:12:04] We are children of the 1800s.

[00:12:07] March 7th, Morgantown, West Virginia.

[00:12:10] That's going to be so fun.

[00:12:11] D.C., March 8th.

[00:12:13] That's pretty much sold out to Warner, but they might drop tickets.

[00:12:15] I don't know what happens, how all that works.

[00:12:17] My cops, I haven't dropped those, so those will be dropped.

[00:12:22] Charleston, we added an early show on March 15th.

[00:12:26] Boom.

[00:12:26] Yep.

[00:12:27] And then the rest of them are on the thing.

[00:12:29] So, let's get going here.

[00:12:32] I'm trying to think if there's anything else in football that I laugh so hard at.

[00:12:37] Like, some of the losses were just so, in Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, where

[00:12:47] my termites at.

[00:12:49] I love your city.

[00:12:50] I love Bill Crawford.

[00:12:52] He's on the radio in Pittsburgh every morning.

[00:12:54] He's a friend of mine.

[00:12:55] He's a very funny comedian.

[00:12:58] Bill is, by a million, the most delusional fan I've ever met.

[00:13:06] Like, people in certain cities, they just know.

[00:13:11] My friend Tommy, he knows the Bears are questionable and probably most likely will suck, but he likes

[00:13:17] to go.

[00:13:17] But he'll admit that.

[00:13:18] My Pittsburgh friends, and it's not just Bill.

[00:13:21] It's all of them.

[00:13:23] That accounts, oh, what's his name?

[00:13:27] Billy, Billy Gardell.

[00:13:29] I could throw a pile of these guys on the same pile.

[00:13:32] The Steelers could be three and 12, and they're like, no, it's coming around this week.

[00:13:38] Like, what the fuck are you talking?

[00:13:39] Russell Wilson is 37.

[00:13:42] The answer's no.

[00:13:43] He's not your golden child.

[00:13:45] Mike Tomlin, the coach, he hasn't been in the playoffs in nine years.

[00:13:48] Nine.

[00:13:49] Hey, guys, I know you love him, but oh my God, if you suggest anything like, hey, maybe you.

[00:13:54] What?

[00:13:55] What?

[00:13:56] Well, you know, people get tired in situations.

[00:13:58] Not saying he wasn't good.

[00:13:59] He got you a Super Bowl.

[00:14:00] Bah, bah, bah.

[00:14:01] Maybe it's time.

[00:14:02] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:14:04] Well, Pittsburgh.

[00:14:07] Oh my God.

[00:14:07] There was a server at the Pittsburgh Improv.

[00:14:10] This is back when I was in the club, so 100 years ago.

[00:14:15] She was like, hey, do you guys want to see after the show?

[00:14:18] The people had left.

[00:14:19] It's just the staff and me sitting there cleaning or drinking or whatever, smoking cigs.

[00:14:23] And she's like, do you guys want to see my new tattoo?

[00:14:26] And we were like, okay.

[00:14:27] Well, she ran up on stage.

[00:14:29] The stage light was still on, whipped down her pants, and the left side of her ass cheek

[00:14:34] was a Steelers helmet, and it said Cower Power.

[00:14:37] Shut up.

[00:14:37] After Bill Cower, the coach.

[00:14:39] And I just, I was like, Tiffany, you know.

[00:14:43] That's forever.

[00:14:45] Like, he won't be forever.

[00:14:47] Bill will get old, hopefully.

[00:14:49] Quit.

[00:14:50] Retire.

[00:14:51] Why on your ass?

[00:14:54] I, there's questions you just don't ask the children.

[00:14:57] She was so happy about it.

[00:14:59] And I was just like, what if he retires?

[00:15:01] I don't care.

[00:15:01] I love him.

[00:15:02] I'll love him forever.

[00:15:03] Okay.

[00:15:03] Oh, there you go.

[00:15:04] There's your reason.

[00:15:05] Okay.

[00:15:06] Anyway, all right.

[00:15:07] That's enough of football.

[00:15:08] I'm sorry to bore the people who don't like football.

[00:15:11] Big week.

[00:15:12] Jimmy Carter died.

[00:15:14] My fellow Libra.

[00:15:15] Yeah.

[00:15:15] Yeah.

[00:15:16] Very sad.

[00:15:17] I was, this is how bad grade school was back in the day.

[00:15:21] I remember the first thing I ever had to vote in.

[00:15:24] And I was like in second grade and they made you say Nixon or McGovern.

[00:15:29] That's who was running for president.

[00:15:30] And I said McGovern because I knew my dad would say that.

[00:15:33] And I'm supposed to do that.

[00:15:35] And they gave you a sticker of the elephant for Republican or the donkey for Democrat.

[00:15:40] And I had to wear the donkey.

[00:15:42] And I got on the bus and I was the only donkey.

[00:15:44] Everyone else was an elephant.

[00:15:45] I was the only one who voted for McGovern.

[00:15:48] Well, look how that turned out.

[00:15:49] Huh?

[00:15:50] What do you say now?

[00:15:51] Nixon folk.

[00:15:53] But the next one, it was Carter against Reagan, I think.

[00:16:00] And I was a, I was a Carter person.

[00:16:03] Yeah.

[00:16:04] No, he won.

[00:16:05] I forget who he beat.

[00:16:07] I don't know.

[00:16:08] But you know, the presidency, nobody wants to hear what Jimmy Carter had to say.

[00:16:13] He's like, look, we're going to run out of oil.

[00:16:15] Why don't we come up with a different plan?

[00:16:17] Boo!

[00:16:18] Ford.

[00:16:20] Ford.

[00:16:20] Oh, right.

[00:16:21] Gerald Ford.

[00:16:21] Yeah.

[00:16:22] Gerald was clumsier than I was.

[00:16:24] I mean, there was nothing funnier than watching Gerald try to get out of an airplane.

[00:16:27] Oh, my God.

[00:16:27] He would just fall down like 18 flights of steps.

[00:16:30] But he sprung, he was a football player.

[00:16:31] He's a good athlete.

[00:16:32] He would just spring right back up.

[00:16:33] Yeah.

[00:16:34] But extremely clumsy when it came to that kind of shit.

[00:16:36] But I like Gerald Ford, too.

[00:16:38] Great movie.

[00:16:39] Yeah.

[00:16:40] And Betty Ford.

[00:16:43] Good times.

[00:16:46] Jimmy Carter was just, first of all, old school Baptist.

[00:16:51] When would you ever see a pro-choice Baptist anymore?

[00:16:55] Never.

[00:16:56] He was very pro-choice.

[00:16:57] It's a very strange thing if you go look it all up.

[00:17:00] But I think I just fell for his accent.

[00:17:03] I'm a sucker for a Southern accent.

[00:17:06] Well, I'm very excited to be the president.

[00:17:08] He was very funny, too.

[00:17:10] And he signed a book for me because I met him at The Tonight Show once.

[00:17:13] It was the most exciting thing to meet a president and probably the highlight of anything, anyone

[00:17:19] I've met, anybody, show I've ever done.

[00:17:22] I couldn't believe it.

[00:17:23] I couldn't believe it was the real president.

[00:17:25] Yeah.

[00:17:26] And he was very nice.

[00:17:27] He wrote a lot of books.

[00:17:29] So I knew he was going to be there.

[00:17:30] They send you the list or whatever.

[00:17:32] And so I bought one of his books.

[00:17:34] I wasn't even sure what I bought.

[00:17:35] It's something about Palestine, honestly.

[00:17:37] What?

[00:17:38] I never read the book.

[00:17:39] I don't want to mess it up.

[00:17:40] Like, it's a signature.

[00:17:41] It says that Kathleen, he spelled it correctly.

[00:17:43] I didn't even have to tell him how.

[00:17:44] Usually Southerners go K-A-T-H-A-L-E-N-E.

[00:17:48] Do what?

[00:17:50] You just added two vowels.

[00:17:53] It's the way Foxworthy says my name.

[00:17:56] Jeff, he always goes, Kathleen, Maddie.

[00:17:58] Jeff, there's no fucking second A.

[00:18:01] Or say it like the average.

[00:18:02] Kathleen, just drop off the H if you want.

[00:18:04] I don't give you drop letters.

[00:18:06] But anyway, very sad.

[00:18:09] So I'll be watching.

[00:18:09] I love a presidential funeral to see the history in action.

[00:18:13] And that'll be on Thursday.

[00:18:17] And he had a wonderful life.

[00:18:19] He just, as a president, Americans aren't going to listen to that shit.

[00:18:24] He said, set your thermostats lower in the winter to save on heat and all that.

[00:18:30] And if you're cold, you put a sweater on.

[00:18:32] Boo!

[00:18:33] Boo!

[00:18:34] America doesn't want that.

[00:18:35] You know what?

[00:18:36] You need to conserve on gas.

[00:18:37] The speed limit's 55.

[00:18:38] Boo!

[00:18:40] Nobody wants to do that shit.

[00:18:41] He just didn't understand.

[00:18:43] Maybe implement those things, but don't say them out loud.

[00:18:46] Like, I don't think he understood why everybody wouldn't have been for the greater good.

[00:18:52] That's not American.

[00:18:54] Right.

[00:18:54] The Americans are selfish little pigs.

[00:18:56] We're little piglets and we want our own stuff.

[00:18:58] And we don't want to be told the trough closes at eight.

[00:19:00] Nope.

[00:19:01] Nope.

[00:19:03] You should have had a make America more fun.

[00:19:06] Yeah.

[00:19:07] Well, honestly, Trump stole the make America great again from Reagan.

[00:19:11] That was Reagan's slogan.

[00:19:12] What?

[00:19:13] Absolutely.

[00:19:14] Google it.

[00:19:15] Yeah.

[00:19:15] Google it.

[00:19:15] I don't know why nobody's ever really called him out on that for hacking a slogan, but maybe

[00:19:21] they thought, who cares, it weren't.

[00:19:23] Well, it is.

[00:19:24] I know.

[00:19:25] It's Ronald Reagan's flipping thing.

[00:19:28] Wow.

[00:19:29] Right.

[00:19:30] Reagan didn't know how to do merch because he was popular.

[00:19:33] Yeah.

[00:19:34] He could have done all kinds of merch.

[00:19:35] I think ours should be.

[00:19:37] I like make moonshine great again.

[00:19:40] That's my favorite hat that I got in the Ozarks.

[00:19:43] New Year's Eve.

[00:19:44] I hope you guys had fun.

[00:19:45] Went downtown.

[00:19:46] Tiny bar review.

[00:19:48] I'm going to do one video, I think, for everybody coming to Nashville with my favorites.

[00:19:53] Right.

[00:19:55] And then I don't have to type it to people because they'll hit me up on Twitter or Instagram

[00:19:59] and I feel the need to respond to that.

[00:20:00] But I'm.

[00:20:01] Late to you.

[00:20:02] Yep.

[00:20:03] Yep.

[00:20:03] Here's a link.

[00:20:04] Yeah.

[00:20:04] Um, to my YouTube video.

[00:20:06] Uh, went to Luke Combs's new bar.

[00:20:08] Yep.

[00:20:09] I.

[00:20:10] It's a mini venue.

[00:20:12] It's like Garth's.

[00:20:13] It's huge.

[00:20:13] Standing room only.

[00:20:14] You can fit a thousand people in there.

[00:20:16] Whoa.

[00:20:16] No question about it.

[00:20:18] Gigantic dance floor.

[00:20:19] Gigantic stage.

[00:20:20] Millions of dollars with a sound and light.

[00:20:22] I can, you can look at those lights that I know from theaters, what those things go.

[00:20:25] Amazeballs.

[00:20:26] But I still prefer the Morgan Wallen approach.

[00:20:30] Four floors.

[00:20:31] Thousand square feet of floor.

[00:20:33] You cannot hear the band on the next floor.

[00:20:35] The soundproofing is amazing.

[00:20:36] It's amazing.

[00:20:37] And if you don't like the band on floor one, go to floor two.

[00:20:40] You don't like that?

[00:20:40] Boom, boom, boom, boom.

[00:20:41] And every bar then feels cozy and fun.

[00:20:44] And the top is half indoor, half outdoor.

[00:20:47] Great on a beautiful day.

[00:20:49] Luke Combs is what I think they envision themselves like Garth and Luke.

[00:20:53] They picture it.

[00:20:54] And I like Luke a lot.

[00:20:55] But they picture themselves on stage.

[00:20:57] And there being, of course, a thousand people will show up.

[00:21:00] It's Luke Combs.

[00:21:01] But are you picturing a Wednesday at two o'clock?

[00:21:04] It's going to be cavernous and vacuous.

[00:21:07] And I did like the band.

[00:21:12] And then I told my sister I found jobs for the twins.

[00:21:16] There were these girls that were young and they give them these silver sparkly boots

[00:21:20] and they go out and start the line dancing and entice people to get up and line dance.

[00:21:24] Which I don't know how to do, so I did not participate.

[00:21:27] I know how to square dance, but so far I haven't been invited to a hoedown.

[00:21:33] Nobody's invited me to a hoedown in my adult life.

[00:21:37] Somebody's doing them somewhere.

[00:21:39] School of the Osage, Missouri.

[00:21:40] We learned how to square dance.

[00:21:41] And we had a dance called Punga Harjo.

[00:21:44] I don't even know what that means.

[00:21:45] Yep, Punga Harjo.

[00:21:47] Punga Harjo.

[00:21:49] That was our school dance in the Ozarks.

[00:21:51] Don't ask any questions.

[00:21:54] I went to the Music City Bowl with my cousins.

[00:21:57] That was Iowa against Missouri.

[00:21:59] So I texted Tom Arnold and said, you're the only famous person I know.

[00:22:04] He's the only person I know that went to school there.

[00:22:06] Period.

[00:22:07] Famous or not.

[00:22:07] At Iowa?

[00:22:08] Yeah.

[00:22:09] George Kittle.

[00:22:10] But I don't know George Kittle.

[00:22:12] He's a famous player, but I don't know him.

[00:22:17] But Tom Arnold said people ask him if they know me, and it gives him street cred that I'm a normal person, and he can say that he's my friend.

[00:22:25] I'm like, well, I haven't gone off the rails quite as much as you, Tom.

[00:22:29] But I do love Tom.

[00:22:30] I love me.

[00:22:30] Love, love, love, love, love Tom Arnold.

[00:22:32] Anyway.

[00:22:34] And then I had some moonshine at Bootleggers.

[00:22:36] Went to Nudie's.

[00:22:40] Like, Nudie's.

[00:22:41] That's what I'm going to put my video.

[00:22:42] You got to go to Nudie's.

[00:22:43] And my cousins like that the best.

[00:22:45] It's an old time saloon.

[00:22:46] Like, it goes way back.

[00:22:47] Narrow saloon, hardwood floors.

[00:22:50] It's just.

[00:22:50] Always a good band.

[00:22:52] Yeah.

[00:22:52] And losers used to be called Swingin' Doors.

[00:22:54] Okay.

[00:22:54] That's enough of that.

[00:22:55] I'll make a different video.

[00:22:56] But.

[00:22:57] We'll do it in parts.

[00:22:57] We'll do it in parts.

[00:22:58] Yes.

[00:22:59] Moving on.

[00:22:59] All right.

[00:23:00] Queen News.

[00:23:02] Where are my drag queens at?

[00:23:03] I think drag queens can try too.

[00:23:06] It's your last chance.

[00:23:07] You want to get on Broadway as Dolly Parton?

[00:23:09] You've got limited.

[00:23:11] It ends January 12th.

[00:23:13] Holy shit.

[00:23:14] Get your video in.

[00:23:15] Yep.

[00:23:16] It's just a video.

[00:23:17] Go to dollymusical.com.

[00:23:19] Upload your submission.

[00:23:21] I would give anything to have a bottle of wine and watch the submissions.

[00:23:28] Give me five hours in a room.

[00:23:30] Be great.

[00:23:31] Um.

[00:23:32] Yep.

[00:23:34] You got to do a video.

[00:23:35] By January 12th.

[00:23:36] You got to tag.

[00:23:37] Hashtag.

[00:23:38] Search for Dolly.

[00:23:39] And then fill out the application.

[00:23:42] And you're on your way.

[00:23:43] So there you go.

[00:23:45] That's it.

[00:23:45] That's.

[00:23:46] But.

[00:23:46] Everybody's been very quiet because it's the holidays.

[00:23:49] Um.

[00:23:49] Tay Tay's quiet.

[00:23:51] Tay Tay.

[00:23:52] Tay.

[00:23:53] Well.

[00:23:53] She is spending a lot of time in Nashville because it's closer to Kansas City and her

[00:23:57] mama's here.

[00:23:59] She's on the other side of the lake from me.

[00:24:01] That's the side where there's like families.

[00:24:03] And I'm on the side with like um.

[00:24:07] Old people.

[00:24:09] And.

[00:24:11] Mexican.

[00:24:12] Guatemalans.

[00:24:13] Mexicans.

[00:24:14] Yeah.

[00:24:15] Yeah.

[00:24:16] I don't know why this side of the lake didn't take off like that side of the lake.

[00:24:19] But I'm glad it didn't.

[00:24:22] Yeah.

[00:24:23] Keith and Nicole.

[00:24:23] They already live here.

[00:24:24] But how could she ever live anywhere?

[00:24:26] She's in every show on television I watch.

[00:24:28] And she's wonderful in all of them.

[00:24:30] Fabulous.

[00:24:31] And then he's out.

[00:24:32] One of my cousins says.

[00:24:33] Yeah.

[00:24:34] But does he even go out on tour?

[00:24:35] And then on the Bridgestone Arena.

[00:24:36] It's like.

[00:24:36] Keith Urban.

[00:24:37] Live.

[00:24:37] Like wah wah wah.

[00:24:38] Here's all his tour dates.

[00:24:39] I'm like yeah he's gone too.

[00:24:41] Jelly Roll is purchasing a farm.

[00:24:44] He already lives here.

[00:24:45] In Nashville.

[00:24:46] And Tom Brady did better.

[00:24:48] Now it was his last game.

[00:24:50] But he did calm down.

[00:24:52] There is promise for the future.

[00:24:53] But I don't think it's going to happen anyway.

[00:24:55] Because.

[00:24:57] Of owning part of the Raiders.

[00:25:00] It's ridiculous.

[00:25:03] Yeah.

[00:25:03] I think they're going to go.

[00:25:04] Look Tommy Slami.

[00:25:05] What do we owe you?

[00:25:07] This was supposed to be $375 million.

[00:25:09] How about you just take 10 and get out?

[00:25:12] And.

[00:25:13] You go talk to Giselle.

[00:25:15] 10.

[00:25:15] I love that she's pregnant with the Jiu Jitsu guys.

[00:25:18] Kid.

[00:25:19] So like that kid.

[00:25:20] Well.

[00:25:21] It's half siblings.

[00:25:23] Their dad is Tom Brady.

[00:25:25] Right.

[00:25:26] And then they go so.

[00:25:26] And who's your dad?

[00:25:28] My dad's a guy from the strip mall.

[00:25:30] Teaching karate.

[00:25:33] I'm sorry.

[00:25:34] Jiu Jitsu.

[00:25:35] Jiu Jiu Jitsu.

[00:25:37] I can't even say it right.

[00:25:42] It's like.

[00:25:44] Anyway.

[00:25:45] So really there's no king or queen news.

[00:25:47] It's fascinating.

[00:25:49] Cher.

[00:25:50] Very quiet.

[00:25:51] Stevie quiet.

[00:25:52] It's good.

[00:25:53] Everybody went to your calm.

[00:25:54] Go to your go.

[00:25:55] Go calm down.

[00:25:56] Everybody went and calmed down.

[00:25:57] Including myself.

[00:25:57] Stevie's from.

[00:25:58] The money from.

[00:25:59] Stevie's from.

[00:26:00] Stevie's getting our royalties from.

[00:26:02] Maybe this Christmas.

[00:26:04] Nah.

[00:26:05] Splitting.

[00:26:05] Splitting it with Jason.

[00:26:07] Kelsey.

[00:26:08] Kelsey who.

[00:26:08] Let's talk about.

[00:26:09] He has a late night show on ESPN.

[00:26:11] I have never seen anything so horrible in my life.

[00:26:14] And I tried.

[00:26:15] And I like Jason.

[00:26:16] I like the wife.

[00:26:17] I like the whole shebang.

[00:26:19] I like Philly.

[00:26:20] It is so bad.

[00:26:22] You should watch it for 10 minutes.

[00:26:24] If you can make it that long.

[00:26:25] It's the production.

[00:26:26] The production's horrible.

[00:26:28] He does what he can.

[00:26:29] Yeah.

[00:26:30] But it should.

[00:26:30] You don't make him like a late.

[00:26:32] It's a terrible idea.

[00:26:33] You put him in a bar.

[00:26:34] Yeah.

[00:26:34] And then we go from there.

[00:26:35] We don't put him on a late night set.

[00:26:37] He's got on construction boots and muddy jeans.

[00:26:41] None of it makes sense.

[00:26:42] It was so.

[00:26:43] So bad.

[00:26:44] So there's what not to watch this week.

[00:26:47] Since we're talking about all that.

[00:26:49] What are you watching?

[00:26:50] Here's what you got to go watch.

[00:26:51] Now it's just coincidental.

[00:26:54] These are both Irish shows.

[00:26:55] Okay.

[00:26:56] Say Nothing, which I believe was on Hulu.

[00:27:00] I read the book a while back.

[00:27:04] It's on Hulu.

[00:27:04] It's about Jerry Adams and the IRA.

[00:27:07] And it is wonderfully done.

[00:27:09] It is just.

[00:27:10] That's not a word.

[00:27:11] It's wonderful.

[00:27:12] The acting is great.

[00:27:15] And you know.

[00:27:17] Whatever your opinions are about the IRA.

[00:27:21] The acting is great.

[00:27:22] It's all true.

[00:27:24] And it really.

[00:27:25] Leaves a bad taste in your mouth about Jerry.

[00:27:28] Not because of the terrorism.

[00:27:29] But because he denied it.

[00:27:32] Yeah.

[00:27:32] I mean you may have to.

[00:27:34] But then they said.

[00:27:35] Oh Jerry won.

[00:27:36] Did he?

[00:27:36] What did he win?

[00:27:38] Northern Ireland is still controlled by the British.

[00:27:40] Right.

[00:27:40] Okay.

[00:27:41] So we owe.

[00:27:41] They give you a seat in Parliament.

[00:27:43] Here you go.

[00:27:44] The Sinn Féin party.

[00:27:45] I won't get into it.

[00:27:46] Because people have too strong of opinions.

[00:27:48] The other one that is not political at all.

[00:27:50] Is Bad Sisters.

[00:27:52] And it is so good.

[00:27:53] So good.

[00:27:53] Even at moments where I go.

[00:27:55] It's about five Irish.

[00:27:56] Four Irish sisters.

[00:27:58] Four.

[00:27:58] And the youngest one is Bono's kid.

[00:28:01] Yeah.

[00:28:01] I did not know that.

[00:28:02] And she's great.

[00:28:03] Yeah.

[00:28:03] I didn't even know she was an actor person.

[00:28:08] It's.

[00:28:09] Even when the situations become a little bit unbelievable.

[00:28:14] We're like okay.

[00:28:16] I think we may have jumped a shark.

[00:28:17] The acting and writing is so good.

[00:28:18] I don't even care.

[00:28:19] Right.

[00:28:19] I don't even care what they're saying.

[00:28:21] It doesn't matter.

[00:28:22] It's totally.

[00:28:23] I forgot what Bad Sisters was on though.

[00:28:26] Apple TV.

[00:28:26] Apple TV.

[00:28:27] Yeah.

[00:28:28] And Landman.

[00:28:29] I can't say enough.

[00:28:31] I love it.

[00:28:32] Carrie was on.

[00:28:33] Did you watch it?

[00:28:33] Oh my God.

[00:28:34] Jerry Jones was on it.

[00:28:35] Oh my God.

[00:28:35] That's what I wanted to say.

[00:28:36] I was like.

[00:28:37] Oh.

[00:28:38] Oh.

[00:28:39] The.

[00:28:39] One of the oil guys has a heart attack.

[00:28:41] He ends up at the hospital.

[00:28:42] And then Jerry comes to give him a pep talk about life.

[00:28:44] He was wonderful.

[00:28:46] Yeah.

[00:28:47] Jerry.

[00:28:47] This is what you should have done with your life.

[00:28:49] He even cried on command.

[00:28:51] Like I'm like.

[00:28:52] Oh my God.

[00:28:52] He gave a wonderful speech.

[00:28:54] Yes.

[00:28:54] It was totally believable.

[00:28:56] And then Billy Bob Thornton comes in the scene.

[00:28:59] And I thought.

[00:28:59] Oh this will rattle Jerry.

[00:29:00] Uh huh.

[00:29:01] Because now there's another.

[00:29:03] Another person in there.

[00:29:03] Not at all.

[00:29:04] It was seamless.

[00:29:06] He was absolutely.

[00:29:08] Wonderful.

[00:29:09] He's great.

[00:29:09] And I'm like.

[00:29:10] Landman is so good.

[00:29:11] I love every single person.

[00:29:13] In the cast.

[00:29:15] Demi Moore looks weird.

[00:29:16] Demi Moore does look strange.

[00:29:18] Yeah.

[00:29:18] But you know what.

[00:29:19] That's what happens when.

[00:29:20] When we.

[00:29:21] Women get old.

[00:29:21] You have a choice.

[00:29:22] You can look old.

[00:29:23] Or weird.

[00:29:24] Those are your choices.

[00:29:25] Old or weird.

[00:29:26] Weird.

[00:29:27] I haven't made up my mind.

[00:29:28] I think I'm just going to go old.

[00:29:29] Yeah.

[00:29:30] I don't go anywhere where it's going to matter.

[00:29:31] No.

[00:29:32] Where I'm not going to show up at.

[00:29:33] You know.

[00:29:34] The Academy Awards.

[00:29:35] And go.

[00:29:35] Gosh.

[00:29:36] Kathleen looks 69.

[00:29:37] Well Kathleen.

[00:29:38] You know.

[00:29:38] When I'm 69.

[00:29:39] I'm going to look 69.

[00:29:40] Most likely.

[00:29:42] The only thing I would like to do.

[00:29:43] Is get my front tooth fixed.

[00:29:44] But that's not really a vanity thing.

[00:29:46] It's just.

[00:29:46] Yeah.

[00:29:47] I've never noticed it.

[00:29:48] Yeah.

[00:29:49] It's a little wonky.

[00:29:51] What does that mean?

[00:29:52] I don't know.

[00:29:53] It just.

[00:29:54] It sticks out more than the other one.

[00:29:56] You never noticed it.

[00:29:57] It's not even.

[00:29:58] But I'm too old for braces.

[00:29:59] Who gives a shit?

[00:30:00] Braces?

[00:30:01] Oh my god.

[00:30:02] Well that's the only way you can fix it.

[00:30:03] I asked my dentist.

[00:30:04] If there's one.

[00:30:06] No.

[00:30:07] I'm not doing that shit all day.

[00:30:09] You got to keep it in all day.

[00:30:10] Yeah.

[00:30:11] And then.

[00:30:11] How can I do this?

[00:30:14] I'm not doing it.

[00:30:15] I'd rather just have them whitened.

[00:30:18] Get me around.

[00:30:19] Yeah.

[00:30:19] All right.

[00:30:22] Update.

[00:30:24] Yeah.

[00:30:25] It's a fat tongue thing.

[00:30:27] Like my friend Ronan.

[00:30:28] Ronan's got.

[00:30:28] Is having a lisp the new black.

[00:30:30] By the way.

[00:30:31] Every commercial they have a lisp.

[00:30:33] Every.

[00:30:33] Ronan.

[00:30:34] And I said to Ronan.

[00:30:35] Have you always had a lisp?

[00:30:36] Ronan.

[00:30:36] And he's like.

[00:30:37] Yeah.

[00:30:37] My parents were really mad about it.

[00:30:39] Like they tried to fix it.

[00:30:40] A blind chin.

[00:30:40] I just didn't care.

[00:30:42] No.

[00:30:43] No.

[00:30:43] Ronan Harshberg.

[00:30:44] Very funny comedian.

[00:30:46] His tour was called.

[00:30:47] Fat Jew with a lisp.

[00:30:49] That's what he called his tour.

[00:30:50] Oh.

[00:30:51] Yep.

[00:30:51] Made me laugh.

[00:30:52] Very literal.

[00:30:53] Very literal.

[00:30:55] Because he usually has a chubby problem.

[00:30:58] It goes back and forth.

[00:30:59] Anyway.

[00:31:00] Update.

[00:31:03] What do I say?

[00:31:05] Wrong.

[00:31:06] Oh shit.

[00:31:08] Malaysia Airlines.

[00:31:10] The search is back on.

[00:31:11] For flight 370.

[00:31:13] This is so great.

[00:31:14] It's a no fine fee contract.

[00:31:16] This is what they're doing.

[00:31:18] I'm not going to read you the history of Malaysian flight.

[00:31:20] Just know it's a plane that disappeared.

[00:31:22] If you don't know anything more than that.

[00:31:23] Please go watch my special bothering Jesus on Netflix.

[00:31:25] And you'll hear.

[00:31:26] I can take.

[00:31:26] I'll go.

[00:31:27] I take you through it.

[00:31:28] It's the longest joke I've ever written in my life.

[00:31:29] It's not even written.

[00:31:30] It's just a joke.

[00:31:31] It's a story.

[00:31:32] Whatever.

[00:31:36] 227 people and 12 crew members.

[00:31:38] Passengers and 12 members.

[00:31:39] Disappeared without a trace.

[00:31:41] It's going to resume the flight.

[00:31:43] What?

[00:31:44] Uh huh.

[00:31:45] The country has agreed to a no fine no fee contract.

[00:31:49] With Texas robotics company Ocean Infinity.

[00:31:51] To use its underwater search equipment.

[00:31:53] In an area.

[00:31:54] In an undisclosed area of the Indian Ocean.

[00:31:58] Now.

[00:31:58] I did not know this until all this started.

[00:32:00] 10 years ago.

[00:32:01] The Indian Ocean.

[00:32:03] Is one of the most dangerous places in the world.

[00:32:06] There's rogue waves all the time.

[00:32:08] The real waves are crazy.

[00:32:09] It's very difficult.

[00:32:11] The government will pay.

[00:32:13] Ocean Infinity.

[00:32:14] 70 million dollars.

[00:32:16] If it finds significant wreckage.

[00:32:18] Of the lost plane.

[00:32:19] But it won't pay a cent.

[00:32:20] If they come up empty.

[00:32:22] So no fine.

[00:32:22] No fee.

[00:32:24] Yep.

[00:32:26] Have pieces of the plane been recovered?

[00:32:28] Yes.

[00:32:28] Pieces of washed ashore.

[00:32:29] Off the coast of Africa.

[00:32:30] And on some islands.

[00:32:31] In the Indian Ocean.

[00:32:32] But the main wreck.

[00:32:32] And the bodies.

[00:32:33] And the occupants have never been recovered.

[00:32:35] Yeah.

[00:32:35] Pieces of the quote.

[00:32:36] Plane were found by the same guy.

[00:32:39] Who quote.

[00:32:40] Walked that.

[00:32:40] I didn't believe anything that dude said.

[00:32:43] Not a word of it.

[00:32:45] They've searched many other times.

[00:32:47] They already paid the family out.

[00:32:48] I hope those families didn't take the check.

[00:32:50] Don't take the check.

[00:32:51] That's advice from the daughter of a lawyer.

[00:32:52] Who would tell you don't ever take the check.

[00:32:54] I'm very.

[00:32:55] No.

[00:32:55] So.

[00:32:55] Very excited.

[00:32:57] To announce.

[00:32:59] That on A&E.

[00:33:01] Starting.

[00:33:02] January.

[00:33:03] Not sure which day.

[00:33:05] There's going to be a new show on A&E.

[00:33:07] A&E.

[00:33:07] Called Ozark Law.

[00:33:09] And it's going to follow.

[00:33:10] What?

[00:33:10] Lake of the Ozarks Cops.

[00:33:12] Yep.

[00:33:13] Where I'm building my little cabin.

[00:33:16] And these are probably people I went to high school with.

[00:33:20] And.

[00:33:20] And it was in the summertime.

[00:33:22] So in the wintertime.

[00:33:23] There's only 5,000 people.

[00:33:25] In the summer.

[00:33:26] It swells to 150,000 people.

[00:33:28] And everyone.

[00:33:30] Not everyone.

[00:33:31] I'd say a good 50% of the people are hammered.

[00:33:33] Yep.

[00:33:34] Yep.

[00:33:34] Probably 50%.

[00:33:35] All the time.

[00:33:35] And then there's always that 10% on fentanyl.

[00:33:38] Which is why we have to have the billboard that says.

[00:33:40] Fentanyl.

[00:33:41] Real or fake?

[00:33:42] Well.

[00:33:42] Why are we even talking about.

[00:33:43] Is fentanyl real or fake?

[00:33:45] Just fentanyl is bad.

[00:33:46] Just stop it.

[00:33:47] Whoa.

[00:33:47] Oh.

[00:33:48] It hit my crystal ball.

[00:33:48] Anyway.

[00:33:50] It's a 10 episode series called Ozark Law.

[00:33:52] It features the Osage Beach.

[00:33:54] That is where my house is.

[00:33:56] And Lake Ozark Police Departments.

[00:33:58] I can't wait.

[00:34:00] Mm-hmm.

[00:34:01] Well.

[00:34:02] This is not Water Patrol.

[00:34:03] So I don't know that they're going to be.

[00:34:05] Um.

[00:34:06] On the lake.

[00:34:08] But.

[00:34:09] Huh?

[00:34:11] Well.

[00:34:11] It's going to be great.

[00:34:12] Yeah.

[00:34:12] Um.

[00:34:13] Update.

[00:34:13] Right.

[00:34:16] My fascination with the hundred million dollars Netflix has had decided to pay pay Harry and

[00:34:23] Megan.

[00:34:26] Horrible.

[00:34:27] I watched the trailer.

[00:34:29] It's her lifestyle show.

[00:34:30] I've given this a lot of thought.

[00:34:33] Why did I watch Martha Stewart?

[00:34:36] And I liked it.

[00:34:37] And I'll never do a thing Martha Stewart does.

[00:34:40] I'm not a homemaker person.

[00:34:43] I don't do crafts.

[00:34:44] I actually hate them.

[00:34:46] I hate them.

[00:34:48] As much as I hate musicals.

[00:34:50] Yeah.

[00:34:50] When they would break that shit out in art class.

[00:34:52] I'd be like.

[00:34:53] Oh god damn it.

[00:34:54] There's just glue everywhere.

[00:34:56] And my fingers are stuck together.

[00:34:58] And my thing always collapsed.

[00:34:59] Yeah.

[00:34:59] And you should change your bread house.

[00:35:01] It's like an earthquake.

[00:35:02] I'm just not good at it.

[00:35:04] Now I can draw and I can paint.

[00:35:06] I like that part.

[00:35:07] It's the crafts.

[00:35:08] I like art.

[00:35:09] I don't like crafts.

[00:35:11] However.

[00:35:11] However.

[00:35:12] I mean define a craft.

[00:35:13] Did you knit?

[00:35:14] I know how to crochet.

[00:35:15] My grandma taught me how.

[00:35:16] What?

[00:35:17] Yeah.

[00:35:17] And when I had 57 snow days in fifth grade.

[00:35:19] I crocheted every single relative of a scarf.

[00:35:21] I had nothing to do.

[00:35:24] Now here's the thing.

[00:35:25] Because I suck at math.

[00:35:26] They're never really straight.

[00:35:28] They're like.

[00:35:29] But hey.

[00:35:30] They're warm.

[00:35:31] I use different colors.

[00:35:32] That's straight.

[00:35:33] No.

[00:35:34] Like some lines went long.

[00:35:35] Whoa.

[00:35:36] I went too far on that one.

[00:35:38] I don't know how to keep them straight.

[00:35:39] But I like to call my scarves artsy.

[00:35:42] It's a feeling.

[00:35:43] It's a feeling.

[00:35:44] Don't have to worry about linear lines.

[00:35:47] It's all scrubbled up on your neck anyway.

[00:35:49] Who's going to fucking know?

[00:35:50] Except you.

[00:35:52] Anyway.

[00:35:52] I'm cussing too much.

[00:35:55] I would watch Martha Stewart.

[00:35:56] I used to do a joke in my act.

[00:35:58] One day I watched her for at least 30 minutes build a hammock for a cat.

[00:36:05] I didn't even have a cat at the time.

[00:36:07] I was just.

[00:36:09] Here's why I would watch Martha.

[00:36:11] I think.

[00:36:11] Because I believed.

[00:36:13] I did not know she was not.

[00:36:14] I thought she came from money.

[00:36:16] She earned all of her money.

[00:36:17] I did not know that.

[00:36:18] So when I was watching it.

[00:36:19] I thought she was.

[00:36:20] This is what the Midwest people.

[00:36:22] I think we were told to think.

[00:36:24] And I believed it.

[00:36:25] That she's a rich lady from Connecticut.

[00:36:28] And this is what rich people do.

[00:36:30] Like in the Hamptons or wherever rich people go.

[00:36:33] And so it's like seeing into a secret world.

[00:36:37] I will listen to Martha do it.

[00:36:39] Now as it turns out she did not grow up rich.

[00:36:41] But she did cater all those parties.

[00:36:43] Like she does know that scene.

[00:36:44] It's just fascinating to me.

[00:36:46] I'm never going to make her weird.

[00:36:47] I'm never going to do any of it.

[00:36:48] Period.

[00:36:49] Period.

[00:36:50] But me and my friend Scott Kennedy.

[00:36:51] He loved her show too.

[00:36:53] We would watch it.

[00:36:56] Meghan Markle.

[00:36:57] I am not interested.

[00:36:59] What world are you from?

[00:37:00] Like what?

[00:37:01] Why are you talking to me?

[00:37:02] Like why should I watch you?

[00:37:04] I know why I'm supposed to be watching Martha.

[00:37:06] I get it.

[00:37:07] Or if it's a famous chef.

[00:37:09] If it's Wolfgang Puck.

[00:37:10] Okay.

[00:37:11] I get it.

[00:37:11] I get it.

[00:37:12] Meghan.

[00:37:13] No.

[00:37:14] The trailer is so bad.

[00:37:16] It's on.

[00:37:16] It's on YouTube.

[00:37:17] It's in the schnitz.

[00:37:18] I am shocked that Netflix did not turn off the comments.

[00:37:22] They're so bad.

[00:37:24] One lady wrote, I'm actually going to renew my Netflix subscription as long as they don't

[00:37:30] turn off these comments.

[00:37:31] This is the most entertainment I've had in two weeks.

[00:37:35] It's.

[00:37:36] People hate her.

[00:37:38] Hate her.

[00:37:39] Well, it's because it's tone deaf.

[00:37:41] Yes.

[00:37:41] First of all, you were not rich.

[00:37:45] Now you are rich.

[00:37:47] Right.

[00:37:47] In right now in California, eggs are $9 a dozen.

[00:37:51] Nobody wants to really kind of hear about you're so rich.

[00:37:55] You're putting flowers in ice cubes.

[00:37:58] What?

[00:37:59] That's an episode.

[00:37:59] Who's got.

[00:38:00] Well, listen to the listen to this review.

[00:38:03] Now, this is very catty on my part, but I.

[00:38:06] I, this is everything I thought though.

[00:38:09] So in the trailer, she walks around with a wooden, I'll call it a wooden picnic basket.

[00:38:16] Not, not made.

[00:38:17] It's a fruit.

[00:38:19] What's like what you would place a carrot in if you were rich and went to a.

[00:38:26] No, what do they call it though?

[00:38:27] Not a food market.

[00:38:28] Farmer's market.

[00:38:29] Farmer's market.

[00:38:30] Right.

[00:38:30] Right.

[00:38:31] Which also who the fuck has the time for that?

[00:38:33] I would love to go to a farmer.

[00:38:34] There's one in Nashville.

[00:38:35] It's great.

[00:38:36] It's just too far from the house.

[00:38:37] I don't have time to remember on Thursday.

[00:38:40] I'll just go to the grocery store.

[00:38:42] Right.

[00:38:42] It's right there.

[00:38:42] Same shit.

[00:38:44] I mean, I'd like to support the local farmers and all that.

[00:38:47] You get it.

[00:38:48] All right.

[00:38:49] It's free.

[00:38:50] If you got time.

[00:38:51] Right.

[00:38:51] If you don't, if you have a job, you don't have time for any of this shit.

[00:38:54] No.

[00:38:55] Okay.

[00:38:56] Imagine you're about to host dinner for your friends.

[00:38:58] How would you go about it?

[00:38:59] It's simple.

[00:39:00] I'm reading it.

[00:39:02] You start in the lush, veridant garden that abuts your estate, strolling through rows

[00:39:07] of ripe, juicy berries, gathering tomatoes, squash blossoms.

[00:39:11] What's a squash blossom?

[00:39:13] Anyway.

[00:39:13] And jewel-toed lettuce leaves in a dainty wicker basket.

[00:39:18] Then you stop by an apiary and collect, is that how you say that?

[00:39:22] Apiary.

[00:39:23] Apiary.

[00:39:24] See, I would think there's apes in there.

[00:39:26] There should be.

[00:39:27] There's not.

[00:39:28] No.

[00:39:28] And collect fresh honey.

[00:39:29] It's where bees live.

[00:39:31] Which, by the way, the whole beehive thing, honey thing that she features in this clip,

[00:39:36] that was Kate Middleton's thing.

[00:39:39] So you just totally hacked that idea.

[00:39:41] And then there's some rich.

[00:39:42] She did that on purpose.

[00:39:43] Oh, she did it on purpose.

[00:39:44] Yeah.

[00:39:45] There's some rich lady of color who's married into royalty somewhere in Europe, has her

[00:39:49] own show.

[00:39:50] A bunch of it's been hacked from that, too.

[00:39:53] Make sure—this is what you're supposed to—okay, sorry, I diverted.

[00:39:56] Make sure you have roughly seven acres worth of edible flowers on hand to decorate the elaborate

[00:40:00] salads, donuts, and beverages you will be served to all your guests, all of who are

[00:40:04] fabulously wealthy and famous celebrities.

[00:40:06] I don't even know why I'm telling you this.

[00:40:07] It's so obvious.

[00:40:08] Also, your husband is a prince.

[00:40:10] If this wasn't all immediately evident to you, wow, embarrassing!

[00:40:14] But don't worry.

[00:40:15] This week, the trailer dropped for Megan the Duchess of Sex and Sex's Netflix show, With

[00:40:19] Love, Megan, which premieres on January 15th.

[00:40:22] That's the name of it?

[00:40:22] It's called With Love, Megan, which premieres on January 15th.

[00:40:27] According to Netflix, the series was produced by the Duchess.

[00:40:30] That's the other thing.

[00:40:31] You said the royal family is such pieces of shit.

[00:40:33] Why are you keeping a title?

[00:40:35] Right.

[00:40:35] Don't you want to not be them?

[00:40:37] Right.

[00:40:37] Or do you want to be them?

[00:40:40] I think it's a take it or leave it situation.

[00:40:42] You in, you out.

[00:40:43] Yep.

[00:40:46] New phone, who dis?

[00:40:49] The series, it reimagines the genre of lifestyle programming.

[00:40:55] Blending practical how-tos.

[00:40:57] I didn't see anything practical in that whole thing.

[00:40:59] And my neighbor does not have seven acres of anything.

[00:41:05] Matter of fact, his boat trailer is on my lot.

[00:41:09] So if I wanted to go traipsing around for fruit, again, I'd have to walk to the grocery

[00:41:14] store or get a ride with Miss Dizzy because she's a hydrocephalic and rides around on

[00:41:19] a fucking four-wheeler deal.

[00:41:22] She could, yeah.

[00:41:24] A lot going on in the cove.

[00:41:25] There's a lot going on in this cove.

[00:41:26] And I'm like, oh my God, like, I know it's terrible, but as kids, we used to call them

[00:41:30] waterheads.

[00:41:31] My mom, that's a term.

[00:41:33] Like, they have too much fluid on the brain.

[00:41:35] They got to hit.

[00:41:35] And she fell over up at the top of the thing.

[00:41:38] And I got her up.

[00:41:39] And I'm like, you're all right.

[00:41:40] Like, she's old.

[00:41:41] She's like, oh, I'm a hydrocephalic.

[00:41:44] I'm like, I've never met one in my whole life.

[00:41:46] Oh my God.

[00:41:47] My mom used to tell me about this for the babies.

[00:41:50] But this lady's like 65, 70.

[00:41:52] And she goes, I just haven't had my brain drained in a while.

[00:41:55] I get so dizzy.

[00:41:57] That's why they call me Miss Dizzy.

[00:41:58] I'm like, I'll drive you home.

[00:42:00] Shut up.

[00:42:01] So thank God you only live up that hill.

[00:42:05] Anyway, anyway.

[00:42:07] So I would have nowhere to walk to get all these things.

[00:42:09] This is not their property.

[00:42:11] It's not their house they're filming in.

[00:42:12] It's someone else's.

[00:42:13] That's fine.

[00:42:15] I don't mind a set.

[00:42:16] You're blending practical how-tos and candid conversations with friends, new and old.

[00:42:22] We're not in the pursuit of perfection, Megan says, assures us somewhere deep in a farmhouse

[00:42:29] kitchen the size of a small airplane hangar.

[00:42:32] We're in the pursuit of joy.

[00:42:35] She's also standing in front of a Thermador stove and range.

[00:42:38] They could set you back anywhere at $12,000 to $16,000.

[00:42:41] Exactly.

[00:42:42] I won't go on and on.

[00:42:43] Yeah.

[00:42:44] But it's just-

[00:42:45] Awful.

[00:42:46] It's tone deaf.

[00:42:47] Yep.

[00:42:48] I don't know who's feeding her these ideas.

[00:42:50] I'm starting to think that her and him can't be told anything, and they're just going to

[00:42:54] do what they do.

[00:42:55] She's the CEO of this company that can't get a goddamn trademark because she couldn't find

[00:42:59] anybody that either wants to do it anymore or she thinks she's now your what's-his-face

[00:43:05] Dick Cheney, where you're just like, well, I interviewed everybody.

[00:43:08] I'm the most awesome.

[00:43:10] I mean, I tried.

[00:43:13] Anyway, I can't wait to watch just to see.

[00:43:15] And I don't understand why Ted, the guy in charge at Netflix, doesn't get in trouble

[00:43:20] for giving these people $100 million.

[00:43:21] And out of the things they've produced, nothing has been a hit except when they ratted out the

[00:43:25] royal family, that Oprah deal.

[00:43:27] Right.

[00:43:28] Polo?

[00:43:29] Failure.

[00:43:30] Invictus Games?

[00:43:31] Eh.

[00:43:31] It's only got a limited audience.

[00:43:32] There's only a certain amount of people that are going to be into that.

[00:43:35] And now this.

[00:43:36] So three out of four.

[00:43:37] Yeah.

[00:43:39] Nine-nine.

[00:43:39] Nine-nine.

[00:43:41] Update!

[00:43:41] The world's oldest person, Tomika Itoka, died at age 116.

[00:43:48] Yeah, she's Asian.

[00:43:50] Well, she is.

[00:43:52] That's how you would say her name, I think.

[00:43:53] I'm trying to do a Japanese pronunciation.

[00:43:56] Tomika Itoka.

[00:43:59] I like it.

[00:44:00] I like it.

[00:44:01] I love Japanese names.

[00:44:03] I love all the golfers.

[00:44:07] Hideki Matsuyama.

[00:44:09] They just sound awesome.

[00:44:11] Uh, Royal.

[00:44:13] Oh, what's his name?

[00:44:14] Kid.

[00:44:15] Izakaya.

[00:44:16] Izakaya.

[00:44:17] Yeah, like the restaurant.

[00:44:18] Anyway, she died in a nursing home.

[00:44:21] She looked great, though.

[00:44:24] I mean, just really great.

[00:44:26] She became the oldest person after the lady in Spain, who we've talked about, died in August

[00:44:30] this year at 117.

[00:44:32] Uh-huh.

[00:44:32] So, she was born in 1908, six years before World War I, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

[00:44:37] blah, blah, blah.

[00:44:37] You get the idea.

[00:44:38] Well, we have a new, um...

[00:44:40] Post-oldest.

[00:44:41] Well, we have the next oldest lady.

[00:44:42] Okay.

[00:44:43] I think I got it confused in the paperwork here.

[00:44:46] She is.

[00:44:48] Uh, no.

[00:44:50] The new oldest lady.

[00:44:52] A soccer-loving nun from Brazil.

[00:44:54] Stop it.

[00:44:55] Yep.

[00:44:55] Yes.

[00:44:56] Yes.

[00:44:56] She's nearly 117.

[00:44:58] Oh!

[00:44:59] Yep.

[00:45:01] Um, after the death of that lady, she became...

[00:45:05] Sister Ina Canabaro was so skinny growing up that people didn't think she'd survive.

[00:45:10] And back then, you probably just didn't.

[00:45:11] They're like, ah, poor little fuckers got rickets.

[00:45:14] Boom.

[00:45:15] You did.

[00:45:16] You did.

[00:45:17] Yep.

[00:45:17] Um, um, pfft.

[00:45:20] They didn't think she'd survive childhood.

[00:45:21] She did.

[00:45:22] Um, secret to longevity, her Catholic faith.

[00:45:25] Nice Catholic.

[00:45:26] Well done.

[00:45:27] I'm young, pretty, and friendly.

[00:45:28] All good, positive qualities that you have to have.

[00:45:31] The Teresa Nunn tells the visitors to her retirement home in the southern Brazil city

[00:45:35] of Porto Alegre.

[00:45:37] Her nephew spends time with her every Sunday and sends voice messages between visits to

[00:45:41] keep her spirits up.

[00:45:42] How old's the nephew?

[00:45:44] Whoa.

[00:45:45] 90.

[00:45:45] I know.

[00:45:48] Um, she was born in 1908.

[00:45:50] Large family in southern Brazil.

[00:45:52] Uh, she loves soccer.

[00:45:55] She was a lifelong teacher.

[00:45:57] Um, oh, she was also the beloved creator of two marching bands at schools in sister cities

[00:46:02] straddling the border between Uruguay and Brazil.

[00:46:05] Nice.

[00:46:05] Yeah, look at her go.

[00:46:07] Um, so there, that's our new oldest person.

[00:46:09] Perfect.

[00:46:10] Yep.

[00:46:10] Giddy up.

[00:46:11] Boom.

[00:46:12] Um, we're gonna save that one more guys.

[00:46:15] Holy shit, they found it.

[00:46:16] Oh.

[00:46:17] We're moving on to holy shit, they found it.

[00:46:20] These are crazy.

[00:46:22] And I think it'll help these people.

[00:46:23] Yeah.

[00:46:24] It's probably not the way to go about it.

[00:46:26] Astonishing photographs show uncontacted Amazon tribe for the first time and the ingenious

[00:46:30] technique they have used to protect themselves from the outside world.

[00:46:33] Wow.

[00:46:33] Astonishing photographs captured from the deep within the Brazilian rainforest show an uncontacted

[00:46:40] Amazon tribe for the first time and submerged.

[00:46:42] The images taken on automatic cameras appear to show the Massaco tribe arming themselves with

[00:46:48] machetes and axes before they, that were left behind by the Brazilian National Indigenous

[00:46:52] People's Foundation.

[00:46:54] That, whatever.

[00:46:55] Um, so these people are trying to protect those people and I guess they left their stuff

[00:47:01] behind, the machetes and axes.

[00:47:03] Um, uh, their, their beliefs, social structure and language remain a mystery, but the new

[00:47:09] photographs show that their community is thriving.

[00:47:12] Despite constant pressures from miners, ranchers, drug traffickers, illegal encroachment, the population

[00:47:18] has doubled since the 1990s.

[00:47:20] Wow.

[00:47:20] Wow.

[00:47:20] There's 250 of them.

[00:47:22] Cool.

[00:47:22] That's great.

[00:47:23] Yeah.

[00:47:24] 61 confirmed groups living in the Amazon.

[00:47:26] Um, uh, they look, I don't know.

[00:47:30] They have haircuts and stuff.

[00:47:32] Cool.

[00:47:32] I mean, they look normal.

[00:47:34] They just.

[00:47:35] Haircuts?

[00:47:36] Well, it's not like they don't look like cavemen.

[00:47:39] Like, it's, they don't have beards.

[00:47:41] No.

[00:47:41] No.

[00:47:42] I mean, they don't really have clothes either.

[00:47:45] Yeah, there's that.

[00:47:46] They're, they're shaving or they don't grow facial hair.

[00:47:48] I don't know.

[00:47:49] That's for a doctor to determine, not me.

[00:47:51] No.

[00:47:52] No.

[00:47:52] No.

[00:47:52] I'm just a lady with a Miller pony.

[00:47:55] Um.

[00:47:56] Night, night.

[00:47:57] They have tried to deter unwelcome visitors by planting thousands of camouflage foot and

[00:48:02] tire piercing solid wood spikes in the ground.

[00:48:05] What?

[00:48:09] It also revealed that the tribe hunts for food using three meter long bows and relocates

[00:48:13] their villages from season to season, which is what we should do.

[00:48:17] Yes.

[00:48:17] It's what the Indians did.

[00:48:20] So, Sedona and Arizona, you don't stay in Phoenix in the summer.

[00:48:23] You go up to Sedona and then come down in the winter.

[00:48:25] Like the nomadic people nailed the weather.

[00:48:28] We try to control the weather.

[00:48:29] I'm living right here.

[00:48:30] God damn it.

[00:48:31] I don't care if it's 127 degrees.

[00:48:32] I'm going to get an air conditioner.

[00:48:34] There's a mess.

[00:48:34] These people are smarter.

[00:48:35] Yeah.

[00:48:35] Yeah.

[00:48:37] Maybe I'll talk my family into let's be in nomads.

[00:48:40] Anyway, they, um, they, they found them.

[00:48:43] This one makes me laugh.

[00:48:44] I don't know why.

[00:48:45] I think cause I wouldn't know what it was.

[00:48:47] This guy found a giant jaw.

[00:48:50] Scotchtown, New York.

[00:48:51] Scholars jaw.

[00:48:53] You should see the size of it.

[00:48:55] Scholars are hailing the discovery of a fossilized mastodon jaw discovered by a man who spotted

[00:49:01] two giant teeth while gardening in his upstate New York home this year.

[00:49:04] The jaw and some other bone fragments were found in late September in his backyard, uh,

[00:49:09] 70 miles Northwest of New York city.

[00:49:12] Uh, he doesn't want to be identified.

[00:49:15] The owner of the backyard.

[00:49:16] The teeth on this thing.

[00:49:18] Like I wouldn't even know that was a tooth.

[00:49:20] Like it's like a giant rock, but they're in a row.

[00:49:23] So you might go, huh?

[00:49:25] But I wouldn't think he thought the teeth were baseballs at first.

[00:49:29] He picked them up and realized they were teeth.

[00:49:31] While the jaws, the star of the show, the additional toe and rib fragments offer valuable contacts.

[00:49:36] We're also hoping for further explore the immediate air and see if there were any additional

[00:49:39] bones.

[00:49:41] Yeah.

[00:49:41] The Albany state museum.

[00:49:42] So the jaw was the first complete mastodon jaw found in New York in 11 years.

[00:49:46] There have been more than 150 fossils from the extinct elephant relative found in the

[00:49:51] state.

[00:49:51] That's crazy.

[00:49:52] Yeah.

[00:49:53] Yeah.

[00:49:54] Give it to the museum.

[00:49:55] Yeah.

[00:49:56] New York.

[00:49:58] Moving on to news.

[00:50:02] Well, let's just talk about two guys that I give them credit, but you got to think shit

[00:50:06] through more than this.

[00:50:07] Okay.

[00:50:08] Two Oregon men died from exposure in a forest after they went to look for Bigfoot.

[00:50:11] I saw that.

[00:50:12] I know.

[00:50:13] You know, Bigfoot will be out in the spring.

[00:50:16] Yeah.

[00:50:16] You don't need to go in the snow.

[00:50:18] No.

[00:50:18] No.

[00:50:18] But maybe they think they can find prints better.

[00:50:21] Right.

[00:50:21] Track them better.

[00:50:22] Mm-hmm.

[00:50:22] They were found dead.

[00:50:24] 59 and a 37-year-old.

[00:50:26] They died from exposure.

[00:50:27] The weather and the men's lack of preparedness led to the office to draw that conclusion.

[00:50:33] Sasquatch is a folkloric beast.

[00:50:35] Says you.

[00:50:38] Folkloric beast.

[00:50:40] I like that term.

[00:50:42] Thought to roam the forest, particularly in the Pacific Northwest.

[00:50:45] They were found in a heavily wooded area of the Gifford Pinot National Forest, which

[00:50:50] is about 150 miles northeast of Portland.

[00:50:54] They were reported at 1 a.m. on Christmas Day after they failed to return from a Christmas

[00:50:58] Eve outing.

[00:50:59] Why did you do that?

[00:51:00] I don't know.

[00:51:01] That's dumb.

[00:51:02] I mean, well, if you're going to do it, I picture people in the Northwest to know what

[00:51:09] they're doing outside.

[00:51:10] They're outdoorsy people.

[00:51:11] They hate their family.

[00:51:11] There's a REI store on every corner.

[00:51:14] There's an Alpine shop that I don't know.

[00:51:17] How do you not know?

[00:51:18] I don't know.

[00:51:19] Maybe they weren't originally from there.

[00:51:21] Oregon.

[00:51:22] What's going on there?

[00:51:23] Like the Santa Claus.

[00:51:26] Santa Claus and Bigfoot.

[00:51:27] Why not?

[00:51:27] Right.

[00:51:28] New York.

[00:51:30] Let's talk about this toll.

[00:51:32] Oh.

[00:51:33] Yeah, I don't like it.

[00:51:34] I don't understand it.

[00:51:36] So London, Google London congestion toll.

[00:51:42] London was going to try it.

[00:51:43] I don't know if they did.

[00:51:44] I can't really remember.

[00:51:46] Where they charge you to come into the city at certain hours money because they want to

[00:51:53] stop the traffic nonsense.

[00:51:55] Did London implemented it?

[00:51:57] 15 pounds.

[00:51:58] 15 pounds a day.

[00:52:02] If paid in advance.

[00:52:03] Yep.

[00:52:03] Oh my God.

[00:52:04] 17 pounds.

[00:52:06] 17.50, otherwise pounds.

[00:52:08] They're still using pounds?

[00:52:09] Oh yeah, they didn't join the EU.

[00:52:11] No.

[00:52:13] 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.

[00:52:14] All day.

[00:52:14] All day.

[00:52:15] Mm-hmm.

[00:52:16] Fuck off.

[00:52:18] 20 bucks a.m.

[00:52:19] I mean, basically that's $20.

[00:52:21] I don't know the exchange rate at the moment, but.

[00:52:23] A lot.

[00:52:24] New York City's new congestion pricing toll for drivers entering the city of Manhattan

[00:52:28] began on Sunday, meaning people will pay $9 to access the busiest part of the Big Apple

[00:52:32] during peak hours.

[00:52:33] The toll is meant to reduce traffic gridlock in a densely packed city while also raising money

[00:52:39] to help fix its ailing public transit infrastructure.

[00:52:41] Okay.

[00:52:42] Bullshit.

[00:52:43] Yeah.

[00:52:43] Because every toll thing, I've only seen it every now and then where they'll go, oh,

[00:52:51] well, Lake of the Ozarks.

[00:52:52] We did it.

[00:52:53] Right.

[00:52:53] We had a toll bridge.

[00:52:54] We paid for the bridge.

[00:52:55] Mm-hmm.

[00:52:55] And they took it off.

[00:52:56] Nice.

[00:52:56] Yeah.

[00:52:57] That never happens, though.

[00:52:58] No.

[00:52:59] So all these tolls in Chicago and Manhattan, and where's the money?

[00:53:03] Ah, pfft.

[00:53:03] Right.

[00:53:03] Who's stealing the money?

[00:53:04] Yeah.

[00:53:05] Because nothing's getting fixed.

[00:53:06] Nope.

[00:53:06] So now we're going to do this.

[00:53:07] Once they implement it, they'll never take it off.

[00:53:09] Nope.

[00:53:10] We've been studying this issue for five years, and it only takes about five minutes if you're

[00:53:13] in Midtown.

[00:53:14] Yes, the traffic is ridiculous in New York City, but I'm not thinking, I don't know that this,

[00:53:19] where are the people supposed to park now?

[00:53:22] Let's say you have a job in Midtown, somewhere in Manhattan.

[00:53:25] Yeah.

[00:53:26] Well, I don't know.

[00:53:26] A lot of people use public transportation, but the people that are driving, I don't know.

[00:53:30] I just, New Yorkers, what do you guys say?

[00:53:33] They took it down to $9.

[00:53:35] The original plan was $15.

[00:53:37] The rich people have drivers.

[00:53:39] Of course, darling, Martha Stewart didn't drive into Manhattan.

[00:53:41] Yes, she had a driver.

[00:53:42] She had a driver.

[00:53:43] Yes.

[00:53:44] I don't know.

[00:53:45] The time of day, it applies from 5 a.m. to 9 p.m.

[00:53:49] Why don't you say all day?

[00:53:50] The only time you can go is after 9 at night.

[00:53:53] That's going to get the Broadway traffic.

[00:53:56] The what?

[00:53:57] It's going to affect Broadway?

[00:54:00] The Broadway traffic of people going to see the shows?

[00:54:02] Yeah.

[00:54:03] Yeah.

[00:54:04] Well, I don't think anybody's going to say necessarily no over the $9 except people that do it every day.

[00:54:09] Once in a while, buses and trucks, $14.40.

[00:54:13] And then how much are we going to tack on if I get an Uber or a town car from one of the New York airports into town?

[00:54:21] Right.

[00:54:22] Well, they're going to say it's $20.

[00:54:24] And I'm going to go, yeah, but I read it's $9.

[00:54:26] Well, yeah, but we do $11 because we have to do it.

[00:54:29] But it's always an answer like that makes no sense.

[00:54:33] All right.

[00:54:35] The dogs living near Chernobyl.

[00:54:38] I am fascinated with the zone.

[00:54:40] I've watched every documentary.

[00:54:44] What do they call it?

[00:54:44] The no-go zone or something like that.

[00:54:46] And those old ladies, the babushkas, they just walked back and said, fuck you.

[00:54:50] We're living here.

[00:54:51] And they're fine.

[00:54:53] Just grab a jug of vodka.

[00:54:54] We're going back into the forest.

[00:54:56] We don't care.

[00:54:56] This is our house.

[00:54:58] Well, the dogs living near the site have mutated to develop a new superpower.

[00:55:01] They are immune to radiation, heavy metals, and pollution.

[00:55:06] That's crazy.

[00:55:07] Wow.

[00:55:07] When you see the pictures of the dogs, though, they still look like dogs and they're cute,

[00:55:13] but they are weird.

[00:55:15] Well, I mean, it's not like a mutation where it doesn't look like a dog.

[00:55:19] It just looks like a breed, a mutt you've never seen.

[00:55:22] Put it that way.

[00:55:23] Three heads.

[00:55:24] No, see, sometimes I'm like, do you have an extra tail?

[00:55:28] Turn around.

[00:55:29] Come on.

[00:55:29] Come on.

[00:55:30] They took blood samples from 116 stray dogs living in the exclusion zone.

[00:55:36] That's what they call it.

[00:55:36] Finding two different populations that were both genetically distinct from other dogs in

[00:55:40] the surrounding areas.

[00:55:41] Oh, my God.

[00:55:42] Yep.

[00:55:43] They've adapted.

[00:55:44] Well, why not go get some blood samples from those babushka ladies?

[00:55:47] Right.

[00:55:48] I'm sure they've adapted, too.

[00:55:50] Maybe this is how we cure cancer or something.

[00:55:52] You have to go live in the exclusion zone for a while.

[00:55:54] You never know.

[00:55:56] The babushka ladies.

[00:55:57] Yeah, shoot.

[00:55:57] They're not going to like it.

[00:55:58] They'll like it if you bring them a check.

[00:56:00] Yeah.

[00:56:00] And they can, they spend that.

[00:56:02] But I'm like, where's your store?

[00:56:03] Right.

[00:56:03] And then there's young people that go deliver them food and stuff.

[00:56:06] That's nice.

[00:56:06] Like, these two dogs are very cute.

[00:56:08] If I had to say what they are, shepherdy.

[00:56:12] They look like a shepherd mix with a lab, maybe.

[00:56:16] They're cute.

[00:56:17] Shepherdy.

[00:56:18] But how about that?

[00:56:20] Oh, and then this thing.

[00:56:21] Cool.

[00:56:22] He looks like a tiny healer mixed with a Boston Terrier.

[00:56:27] It's great, though.

[00:56:27] They survived because they shot a bunch.

[00:56:29] They shot most of them.

[00:56:32] I was very sad.

[00:56:33] You don't want to watch that show.

[00:56:34] It's very sad.

[00:56:35] They shot most of them, but the smart ones got away.

[00:56:38] That's a terrible thing.

[00:56:39] I know.

[00:56:40] Terrible.

[00:56:43] This is crazy.

[00:56:46] Declassified CIA documents from 1983 studies suggest reincarnation is real.

[00:56:53] I totally believe in reincarnation.

[00:56:54] Not everybody.

[00:56:55] I don't care what the CIA says.

[00:56:56] You don't care what the CIA says?

[00:56:59] Well, what if they're hiding documents from us?

[00:57:01] Consciousness never dies.

[00:57:03] I think when you see these kids on, and they were before Instagram and TikTok and all that,

[00:57:09] where they just can tell you about their whole other life.

[00:57:12] Like there's one kid who swears he died in 9-11, and he describes the entire thing.

[00:57:16] And he's like four.

[00:57:18] I just don't believe all these parents would put those kids up to all that.

[00:57:21] There's too many of them.

[00:57:22] Yeah.

[00:57:22] If it was just one or two, you'd be like, well, did the parents feed them all that?

[00:57:25] Do they?

[00:57:25] And this is before viral shit.

[00:57:27] This is before you could make money.

[00:57:32] These people spent, it was a commission to evaluate the Monroe Institute Gateway Experience.

[00:57:38] It was a secretive project, now available to anyone with $1,200 or $1,100.

[00:57:43] You can spend the eight-week program, according to the Institute's website, takes you from the

[00:57:47] physical waking state through deep relaxation and ultimately into unexplored dimensions of

[00:57:52] your consciousness.

[00:57:53] Is it?

[00:57:54] Yeah.

[00:57:55] Aaron Rodgers, you don't need to go to do your Hiawatha.

[00:57:59] God, I watched that too.

[00:58:01] Enigma.

[00:58:02] Good?

[00:58:03] No, it's not good.

[00:58:04] I'm just fascinated with not liking Aaron Rodgers.

[00:58:07] And it just, it re-infoil, he's so, it's all so juvenile.

[00:58:11] It's like shit that you think in college, you know, or high school where you're like, yeah,

[00:58:17] man, what if, and, you know, exploring new ideas.

[00:58:20] Like, that shit should have been covered when you were 20.

[00:58:22] I don't know.

[00:58:23] Maybe he didn't have time.

[00:58:25] He was too busy practicing football.

[00:58:27] Mm-hmm.

[00:58:32] So, I know.

[00:58:33] There have been rumors that the Titans won him.

[00:58:35] Well, of course they do.

[00:58:36] Right.

[00:58:38] There was a while, way back in the day, where Kansas City, the Chiefs would sign anybody.

[00:58:42] It didn't matter.

[00:58:43] They could, they're like, oh, you kid, we got Joe Montana.

[00:58:47] He's 59.

[00:58:49] So?

[00:58:50] We got Marcus Allen.

[00:58:52] He's awesome.

[00:58:52] I'm like, guys, this is not the right direction.

[00:58:54] You need to build a team.

[00:58:56] You don't just start, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:59:03] I don't want this one.

[00:59:05] Tipping.

[00:59:06] Termites.

[00:59:07] Do we think tipping's gone too far?

[00:59:09] Yes.

[00:59:09] Yes, I do too.

[00:59:10] And this comes from a lady who worked at a tip job for 10 years of my life.

[00:59:16] So, I'm all for tipping.

[00:59:17] Yeah.

[00:59:18] And I call them my angel bombs.

[00:59:19] Yeah.

[00:59:20] I, no matter what the bill is, I throw it on our heart hours sometimes.

[00:59:23] Just during the holidays and stuff, just to, because when I was waiting tables, if somebody

[00:59:26] would have done that for me, it'd be great.

[00:59:27] And right now, for me, it's easy to do and just change their day.

[00:59:32] Yeah.

[00:59:32] Won't change, probably won't change their week, but it'll change that day.

[00:59:34] Boom.

[00:59:36] So, the Marriott, and I'm shocked because I wouldn't see them allowing this.

[00:59:42] The LaSalle Hotel in Bryan, Texas completed a two-year, $6 million renovation, and the

[00:59:47] tribute portfolio property reopened in September.

[00:59:51] The hotel says a little something different, something I've never seen before.

[00:59:54] They asked guests to tip the front desk agent checking them in.

[00:59:58] I'm like, what?

[00:59:59] What is this, like Vegas now at an Elvis show?

[01:00:02] My dad would slide him a 50.

[01:00:04] Hey, you think me and the little lady a little closer?

[01:00:07] I'm like, Dad, it's so embarrassing.

[01:00:10] I don't want to see Elvis.

[01:00:12] Mom wants to see Elvis.

[01:00:13] Right.

[01:00:14] That's the only person who cares.

[01:00:16] Yeah.

[01:00:17] I mean, you're supposed to, I mean, a long time ago, tipping housekeeping was a bigger deal

[01:00:24] than it is these days.

[01:00:25] I don't think most people think of it.

[01:00:26] I still do.

[01:00:27] Yeah.

[01:00:28] But then I think they probably thought I just left $20.

[01:00:31] Like, yeah, they think I just got drunk and left money.

[01:00:33] Right.

[01:00:33] I probably don't even know what the fight is.

[01:00:35] But anyway, I don't think you should be tipping front desk people.

[01:00:39] Love you guys to death.

[01:00:40] Yeah.

[01:00:40] But then is this going to be a tip war?

[01:00:41] Yeah.

[01:00:42] Hey, can I get a corner room?

[01:00:43] What about a hundo, Michael?

[01:00:45] Hmm?

[01:00:46] Hmm?

[01:00:46] Hmm?

[01:00:46] Hmm.

[01:00:47] Um, at most hotels, the QR code tipping is encouragement is, uh, is limited to housekeeping.

[01:00:54] Not so at the LaSalle, according to a reader who stayed there.

[01:00:56] The report that they were given a slip of paper pushing tipping along with their key when

[01:01:01] they checked in, along with their elite breakfast vouchers.

[01:01:04] Hmm.

[01:01:06] It is weird for a Marriott.

[01:01:08] I don't know.

[01:01:09] The tipping on everything.

[01:01:10] It's tipping on everything now.

[01:01:12] Oh.

[01:01:13] Yeah.

[01:01:14] They encourage it.

[01:01:15] They encourage it.

[01:01:15] Yeah.

[01:01:16] That is not a good thing.

[01:01:18] Especially the front desk, because they're in charge of the rooms.

[01:01:21] So now if you're turning it into Vegas 1965.

[01:01:24] Yeah.

[01:01:25] Oh my God.

[01:01:25] There's QR codes on the key.

[01:01:27] On the key packet.

[01:01:28] Right.

[01:01:28] Yeah.

[01:01:32] Um, this story.

[01:01:35] This, I just think everything now, when I go to check out, it says, you want a tip.

[01:01:40] You know?

[01:01:42] And I don't know.

[01:01:44] Starbucks does it, right?

[01:01:46] Yeah.

[01:01:47] I tip them.

[01:01:48] I'll tip the kids.

[01:01:50] But, because they are working their asses off.

[01:01:52] And I would not work there for more than five minutes.

[01:01:55] Recommend $5.

[01:01:56] They recommend $5 to the front desk?

[01:01:58] Just pay them more.

[01:02:00] Well, why don't you just put a big fishbowl and say, we want to drink at happy hour together.

[01:02:04] I would throw five bucks in that.

[01:02:06] Right.

[01:02:06] And then I don't feel like I'm tipping so-and-so to get me in a room earlier than I should.

[01:02:12] Let's say I show up at two o'clock and check in until three or four.

[01:02:16] Hey, but how about I slide you out?

[01:02:19] I don't want to get into all that.

[01:02:20] No.

[01:02:21] No.

[01:02:21] No, no, no.

[01:02:23] This is crazy to me.

[01:02:25] I don't know how people pull this shit off.

[01:02:27] I really don't.

[01:02:29] What?

[01:02:34] What?

[01:02:34] The dynasty.

[01:02:35] The Rothschild.

[01:02:37] The eccentric millionaire killed in a Los Angeles house fire last week was likely an imposter posing as a member of the ultra-wealthy Rothschild banking family, according to a new report.

[01:02:47] The mystery man, who went by William D. Rothschild, 87 years old, found dead in his shard Hollywood Hills abode last month, had assumed the prestigious identity despite having no ties to the Jewish dynasty.

[01:03:00] My brother is not a Rothschild, as far as I know.

[01:03:03] Richard Kaufman, 78, of Oregon, told the paper.

[01:03:06] It's odd because I thought he died years ago.

[01:03:08] How do you just walk into an L.A. mansion and have the confidence?

[01:03:14] I'm going to pull this off.

[01:03:17] I'm a Rothschild.

[01:03:18] I'm going to live here.

[01:03:19] Yeah.

[01:03:19] What's their last name?

[01:03:21] Walton?

[01:03:22] Walmart?

[01:03:22] Sure.

[01:03:23] I'm one of them.

[01:03:23] No problem.

[01:03:24] Just give them a call.

[01:03:25] Born in Colorado, this guy, William Alfred Kaufman, he inexplicably changed his name to William D. Rothschild in 1985 and fooled friends and neighbors for years, complete with a flashy collection of Ferraris and Jaguars.

[01:03:37] How do you do that?

[01:03:39] I don't know.

[01:03:39] I need to see a documentary on William Alfred Kaufman.

[01:03:42] I'll find you one.

[01:03:43] There's got to be one.

[01:03:44] That's crazy.

[01:03:44] Um, uh, Richard, his brother said that this guy, William disappeared in the sixties or 17 and sometimes quote played fast and loose with the truth.

[01:03:57] How old time is that?

[01:03:59] I could see him taking the Rothschild name.

[01:04:01] My brother was kind of a mysterious character when I knew him.

[01:04:04] My family's not Jewish, he said, and there's no William in the billionaire's family official genealogy.

[01:04:09] There is no William.

[01:04:11] He didn't even bother to copycat.

[01:04:13] A name.

[01:04:13] A name that was real.

[01:04:15] A name that was real.

[01:04:16] The real Rothschilds, who were originally from Frankfurt, Germany, have long dealt with imposters trying to boost their financial status by assuming their legal name.

[01:04:22] How many homes do you have that you don't know there's an 87-year-old freak living in the L.A. Hollywood Hills one?

[01:04:31] Wow.

[01:04:32] The Klan dominated the European banking world largely in the 18th and 19th centuries and was once thought to have garnered the largest private fortune on the planet.

[01:04:40] That's right.

[01:04:41] In 1985, name change documents.

[01:04:44] Do Rothschild, who grew up in Salem, Oregon, and attended the University of Oregon, wrote that he wanted to take my family name that I prefer to Kaufman.

[01:04:52] So he just made that up.

[01:04:53] Wow.

[01:04:53] Right.

[01:04:55] I'm Kathleen L'Oreal.

[01:04:56] I don't know if anybody has noticed, but yeah, just French has a little more flair than my Irish bar name of Madigan.

[01:05:05] I'm going to go to L'Oreal.

[01:05:07] Yeah.

[01:05:07] Wow.

[01:05:08] It would simplify my life greatly, taking the name from my mother's.

[01:05:12] He wrote this in a legal filing, so you're in trouble for that.

[01:05:14] Yeah.

[01:05:15] And they granted it.

[01:05:16] One neighbor who knew de Rothschild for years said he came off as genuinely educated and very polite.

[01:05:21] He carried himself like I think a Rothschild would.

[01:05:23] How would you know?

[01:05:25] The money is there, whether it's his or not.

[01:05:30] Right.

[01:05:30] Did he just go into the house and literally back in the 80s start writing checks for Ferraris and they worked?

[01:05:36] Right.

[01:05:36] Well, what kind of family leaves blank checkbook?

[01:05:39] I mean, how did you?

[01:05:40] Or were the cars there?

[01:05:42] This is why I need to see a documentary.

[01:05:43] Yes.

[01:05:44] His money.

[01:05:48] Yeah.

[01:05:50] Unbelievable.

[01:05:52] Yeah.

[01:05:52] He did it.

[01:05:53] He lived there for a long time.

[01:05:56] Yeah.

[01:05:57] Mm-hmm.

[01:05:58] Here's a funny story.

[01:06:00] And then I have a feel-good story.

[01:06:02] And then I have a couple thank yous.

[01:06:05] 132 escaped hamsters wreaked havoc on a plane for four days.

[01:06:10] Four days?

[01:06:11] Four days.

[01:06:12] I thought it was a...

[01:06:13] No.

[01:06:14] Oh.

[01:06:15] Because they were going to eat...

[01:06:16] They're eating the plane.

[01:06:17] Oh, my God.

[01:06:18] I had hamsters as a kid.

[01:06:19] I love them.

[01:06:20] Oh, yeah?

[01:06:20] Yeah.

[01:06:21] They're more fun than gerbils.

[01:06:22] I had those too.

[01:06:23] The gerbils...

[01:06:23] Yeah.

[01:06:24] Gerbils are a little too small.

[01:06:26] Air Portugal flight was grounded for four days after 132 hamsters escaped from their transport

[01:06:33] cages in the plane's cargo hold.

[01:06:36] With all the time it's taken to sort out the issue, you'd think the hamsters were armed

[01:06:39] and had taken hostages.

[01:06:40] But no.

[01:06:41] The issue is actually much sillier than that.

[01:06:43] The hamsters are very small, you see, and have infested every part of the plane.

[01:06:47] If you're wondering what maniac was transporting 132 hamsters, it's because the flight was being

[01:06:52] used as kind of a Noah's Ark in a sense.

[01:06:54] It was transporting not just 132 hamsters, but several different types of animals like

[01:06:58] ferrets and birds as the animals were cargo intended for a pet store.

[01:07:04] It wasn't a normal passenger flight where somebody had 132 hamsters in a suitcase and

[01:07:08] chewed their way out.

[01:07:09] So these were being brought on purpose.

[01:07:12] Okay.

[01:07:12] Especially that.

[01:07:14] Right.

[01:07:14] You're bringing them on purpose.

[01:07:16] How did you not shut the cage?

[01:07:20] It's like the monkeys in South Carolina.

[01:07:22] Who forgot to close the door?

[01:07:23] Right.

[01:07:25] That is not to say that the hamsters didn't chew their way out of their enclosure because

[01:07:29] that's exactly what they did.

[01:07:31] The baggage handlers noticed that the hamster's cage contained a severe lack of hamsters upon

[01:07:37] inspection.

[01:07:38] They saw that the hamsters chewed through the cages, allowing them to slip out and scatter among

[01:07:43] the Airbus 320's cargo hold.

[01:07:45] If they could chew through their cages, they could probably chew through vital plane components

[01:07:49] and electrical wiring.

[01:07:51] Yeah.

[01:07:51] Oh.

[01:07:52] I told you, pack rats.

[01:07:53] So the airport decided to ground the aircraft.

[01:07:56] The next four days were spent with maintenance crews searching every tiny square inch of

[01:07:59] the plane to find the escaped hamsters.

[01:08:01] This was apparently next to impossible since the hamsters were so small and nimble they could

[01:08:05] fit much.

[01:08:06] Oh my God.

[01:08:06] A hamster too.

[01:08:07] If it wants to like go under a door, they just, they're mostly fur.

[01:08:11] There's not much there.

[01:08:12] They can do it.

[01:08:13] They can get in and out of anything.

[01:08:14] That's crazy.

[01:08:15] It took a week, but nearly, but all 132 hamsters were eventually found.

[01:08:21] The plane was cleared for takeoff and returned to Lisbon hamster free.

[01:08:25] Unbelievable.

[01:08:26] Yeah.

[01:08:26] They're really cute.

[01:08:28] They're really cute.

[01:08:29] They're very cute.

[01:08:29] Like a back rat.

[01:08:30] Yeah.

[01:08:31] Yeah.

[01:08:32] Tiny little hands, tiny, tiny hands.

[01:08:35] This is a wonderful feel good story.

[01:08:38] While fishing on a lake, these two guys discovered 38 lost hunting dogs in the water and decided

[01:08:45] to rescue all of them.

[01:08:47] My favorite kind of dog.

[01:08:49] Be, beagles.

[01:08:50] Maybe.

[01:08:51] No.

[01:08:51] Here's why though.

[01:08:52] It's their fault.

[01:08:54] Yeah.

[01:08:55] Yeah.

[01:08:56] This is what happened.

[01:08:58] No, they just run.

[01:09:00] You can't.

[01:09:01] They're, yeah, they're hard.

[01:09:03] Not long after they set out on the water, the group spotted something unusual about two

[01:09:07] kilometers from the shore.

[01:09:08] To their astonishment, dozens of dogs were paddling aimlessly, visibly disoriented and

[01:09:14] unable to find their way back to dry land.

[01:09:16] Many of the animals were wearing, by the way, this is in Arkansas.

[01:09:20] Sorry.

[01:09:22] Oh no.

[01:09:22] One guy, Bob's from Arkansas and the other guy's from Tennessee, but they're not, I don't

[01:09:27] know where, whatever lake this is.

[01:09:28] Anyway, many animals were wearing radio collars and bore bright markings on their fur indicating

[01:09:34] they were hunting dogs.

[01:09:35] Realizing the dire situation, Bob, Brad, and Georgia quickly sprang into action.

[01:09:40] They were lost.

[01:09:40] They had their heads.

[01:09:41] They were bobbing above the water, but there's no way they could see the shore.

[01:09:45] I know.

[01:09:46] But the fish, that's a feel good story.

[01:09:48] All right.

[01:09:48] Don't get sad.

[01:09:49] The fishermen steered the boat towards the distressed animals and began pulling them on board one

[01:09:53] by one.

[01:09:54] The dogs, clearly exhausted and frightened, swam in all directions, making the task even

[01:09:58] more, in all different directions, making the task even more challenging.

[01:10:01] Despite this, the trio managed to load 27 dogs on their boat and transport them safely to

[01:10:06] shore.

[01:10:06] After ensuring the first group was out of harm's way, they returned to the remaining 11 dogs,

[01:10:11] completing their rescue mission.

[01:10:12] The entire ordeal took nearly an hour, during which time the dogs had been stranded, unable

[01:10:17] to navigate back to land.

[01:10:18] The dogs were part of a, quote, fox run, a traditionally hunting activity which trained

[01:10:24] dogs to track foxes.

[01:10:26] But on this occasion, this is why you got to think hard about a beagle.

[01:10:31] On this occasion, the hounds had been distracted by a deer that dashed into the lake.

[01:10:36] Driven by instinct, they followed the deer into open waters, losing sight of the shore and in

[01:10:40] the process.

[01:10:41] Their owners, lacking boats, were powerless to retrieve them and were deeply grateful

[01:10:46] when they learned in the rescue.

[01:10:47] We saved every dog, Bob humbly remarked.

[01:10:50] For him, it was a fishing trip he would never forget.

[01:10:52] A day not defined by fish, but by bravery and compassion.

[01:10:57] Thanks to the quick thinking, selfless all 38 dogs survived the ordeal.

[01:11:01] It's Granada Lake.

[01:11:03] Don't know where that's at.

[01:11:04] Yeah, it doesn't really say.

[01:11:07] Mississippi.

[01:11:08] Yep.

[01:11:09] I found it.

[01:11:09] It was at the beginning, Kathleen.

[01:11:11] That's why you didn't do that well in school sometimes, because you didn't read the goddamn

[01:11:14] first part, did you?

[01:11:15] Nope.

[01:11:15] Nope.

[01:11:16] Nope.

[01:11:17] Um.

[01:11:17] Book a heart.

[01:11:18] Okay.

[01:11:18] I got a few thank yous.

[01:11:20] I've made it too hot up here.

[01:11:23] Super hot.

[01:11:24] I know.

[01:11:25] I thought you were.

[01:11:28] Well, I was cold initially.

[01:11:29] It's cold outside.

[01:11:30] Yeah.

[01:11:31] My nobody manifests like Mindy Pineclad.

[01:11:34] That's from Termites, Amy Kelly and Marie from Prosper, Texas.

[01:11:38] Uh, okay.

[01:11:39] I'm going to do this one late.

[01:11:40] A baby cat notebook downstairs is great.

[01:11:42] From Claudia, Apollo Beach, Florida.

[01:11:44] Greenies.

[01:11:46] Chapo's getting so fat.

[01:11:47] He's getting huge.

[01:11:48] Well, I feel bad because sometimes I'm gone for three days and I mean, Aubrey comes over

[01:11:52] and feeds them, but they don't get as many treats when I'm not here.

[01:11:55] It's the night overtreat.

[01:11:56] Well, somebody on Twitter sent me a picture of care for those greenies and a picture of

[01:12:00] his cat before greenies and after.

[01:12:02] Yeah.

[01:12:03] It's good though.

[01:12:03] He's fat for the winter.

[01:12:05] And a bear.

[01:12:06] I know.

[01:12:06] He's huge.

[01:12:07] Uh, the loud cup from Termite Judy and a dolly t-shirt from Shannon.

[01:12:12] So thank you for all that.

[01:12:13] But this is what I love and I'm going to do it on Instagram.

[01:12:16] This teacher, Pauline from West Haven, Connecticut, uh, made her elementary class draw portraits

[01:12:22] of me.

[01:12:22] They took pictures off the internet.

[01:12:23] I mean, this kid obviously noticed there's something wrong with my front tooth and did

[01:12:30] a really good job.

[01:12:31] And I'm supposed to pick a winner.

[01:12:33] Um, I have pearls in that one.

[01:12:36] I know they're so funny.

[01:12:37] Um, this kid really likes blue.

[01:12:40] Yeah.

[01:12:40] Like, whoa, whoa dog.

[01:12:42] Or there it's like my nephew Jack.

[01:12:44] He just doesn't want to do the assignment.

[01:12:45] Yeah.

[01:12:46] He doesn't like art.

[01:12:47] Yeah.

[01:12:48] Uh, what do you call a cow with no legs?

[01:12:53] Ground beef.

[01:12:54] Ha ha.

[01:12:56] And then there's a picture of me like I'm saying it.

[01:12:58] Yeah.

[01:12:58] Oh, this one did really good.

[01:12:59] She got my outfit.

[01:13:00] Perfect.

[01:13:01] I'm going to vote.

[01:13:02] He or she, I don't know this.

[01:13:04] Wow.

[01:13:05] Here I'm a stick person and I just say hi.

[01:13:08] Hi.

[01:13:08] Yeah.

[01:13:08] I'm going to go through these.

[01:13:09] Oh, wow.

[01:13:10] This one actually is good.

[01:13:12] Wow.

[01:13:12] Yeah.

[01:13:12] I don't know.

[01:13:13] I'll, I'm going to have to vote.

[01:13:15] I'm going to say what I like about all of them though.

[01:13:17] So the kids don't feel not that everybody gets a trophy.

[01:13:20] Everybody is getting a trophy.

[01:13:21] Everybody's getting a trophy.

[01:13:22] If I was in charge, everybody, everybody that did any kind of art would get a trophy because

[01:13:26] we only reward, you know, the smart kids.

[01:13:29] It was just bullshit.

[01:13:30] Um, let's do a quote.

[01:13:37] Snowing on Friday.

[01:13:37] Can't wait.

[01:13:39] Let's do a Snoop Dogg quote.

[01:13:41] Okay.

[01:13:42] His are always good.

[01:13:49] Here's a good one.

[01:13:50] This is Snoop on squashing the East West Coast beefs interview with Jonathan Goldspin magazine.

[01:13:57] I could get that East West Coast bullshit stop, get the most powerful rappers from the

[01:14:01] East and we get a peace treaty going.

[01:14:03] We could get into the studio together and show the world the black man can pull together

[01:14:07] for peace and then we can move on and make some money.

[01:14:10] Boom.

[01:14:11] Little did he know in 1997, he'd be Martha Stewart's best friend.

[01:14:15] So great.

[01:14:15] I didn't see it coming up.

[01:14:17] No.

[01:14:17] Dolly.

[01:14:18] I'm running out of dollies.

[01:14:20] He's busy.

[01:14:21] Reacting on her distinctive look in an interview with the Times.

[01:14:25] I'm comfortable in my own skin no matter how far it's stretched.

[01:14:29] Oh, there we go.

[01:14:31] You got two choices.

[01:14:32] Look old or look weird.

[01:14:34] It's the best.

[01:14:37] All right, termites.

[01:14:39] Happy New Year.

[01:14:40] Happy New Year.

[01:14:41] 2025.

[01:14:43] Yeah.

[01:14:44] This is how I felt about 2024.

[01:14:47] And it wasn't even mine.

[01:14:49] It was just everything, everything, everything.

[01:14:51] So hopefully 2025.

[01:14:52] I'm just, I actually.

[01:14:53] You have to manifest.

[01:14:54] I'm going to manifest.

[01:14:55] A good 2025.

[01:14:56] A good 2025.

[01:14:57] I just want it to be a little more relaxing.

[01:14:59] I'm not shooting high.

[01:15:00] I'm not asking for a lot.

[01:15:02] Just not so nutty.

[01:15:05] Maybe not quite as many old people falling.

[01:15:09] A lot of old.

[01:15:10] A lot of my friends.

[01:15:11] A lot of old people falling a lot.

[01:15:12] Yeah.

[01:15:13] Maybe not so much falling.

[01:15:15] That's not asking too much out of the powers that be.

[01:15:18] Who's ever in charge?

[01:15:19] All right.

[01:15:21] It's time to go get some extra.

[01:15:22] Bye.

[01:15:22] Bye.