Episode 205: The End of the ERAs, Notre Dame’s Christmas Bells, & A Texas Nun’s Secret Affair

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:26] Welcome from Queen Stevie. Queen Stevie's adding new dates next year with Billy Joel.

[00:00:31] I know, I don't want to go see Billy Joel. And then I only get to see Stevie for a 50-minute set. No. Stevie, don't do it. You don't need the money. You don't need the money. Remind yourself, you can be at a wonderful amphitheater all by yourself.

[00:00:46] 10,000 seats and you don't need to be in an arena.

[00:00:50] That's right. With yours truly, Row 5 on the aisle, because I'm a shawty, shawty, shawty, have to be on the aisle.

[00:01:00] Yeah, well, there you go, Stevie. I just saw the dates. I'm like, no, this is not a good combination. My friend Little Dorf had the best idea ever. It should be Stevie and the Heartbreakers.

[00:01:09] Since Tom Petty died, you take the Heartbreakers out and then they sing her songs and his songs.

[00:01:15] And she sounds enough like him. And Mike Campbell, the guitar player, sounds exactly like Tom Petty.

[00:01:20] So he sings Tom's part. Stevie, I mean, her Free Fallin' is really good.

[00:01:27] Free Fallin'.

[00:01:28] And then she does the other one too where she, what is that song?

[00:01:32] All the vampires live in the valley.

[00:01:37] That's Free Fallin', right.

[00:01:37] Let's do some.

[00:01:38] Moves me down. Venture Boulevard.

[00:01:45] Stop dragging my heart around. There's so many. Don't need to be with Billy Joel. I'm going to start that. Let's start that.

[00:01:51] Billy can do his own thing. I would do Billy for like just a piano set.

[00:01:56] But the arena thing, I don't know.

[00:01:59] I didn't like it when he did the Uptown Girl. He lost me on that. He fell in love and then he went crazy and wrote a whole album about how hot Chrissy Brinkley was.

[00:02:06] We all know that, Billy. Everybody knows that. You can't believe you got her.

[00:02:10] She's a super violent girl.

[00:02:11] Well, she is gorgeous. And you know, Billy's a normal looking dude, but he's not like smoking hot.

[00:02:17] Oh my gosh. So many things.

[00:02:19] First of all, please welcome to the podcast, Martha on the Mantle.

[00:02:24] Yes, yes. They're very hard to get.

[00:02:27] And I found one at the exact time Amazon.

[00:02:29] And look, she comes with a champagne bottle and Christmas presents and a fur coat.

[00:02:34] And I have Snoop downstairs and I'm seating them next to one another on the mantel.

[00:02:38] So it's Martha and Snoop.

[00:02:41] Snoop's upside. Oh, here he is. Well, he needs to go on the mantel.

[00:02:45] Well, he needs to sit by Martha.

[00:02:47] And then they have to have the disco ball in between them.

[00:02:49] And I have to have all this done before company comes.

[00:02:52] How am I going to get all that done?

[00:02:53] And then we'll see how many.

[00:02:54] I don't know if I was if this was me, if this was Martha.

[00:02:57] I'd be like, could we fix my doll so I don't look like a dude?

[00:03:02] She just it's a little masculine looking.

[00:03:05] She kind of looks like a drag Martha.

[00:03:07] Like a drag Martha.

[00:03:08] Yeah. Yeah.

[00:03:10] Yeah.

[00:03:11] I don't know.

[00:03:12] The set up's cute.

[00:03:13] The box is worth like 30 bucks.

[00:03:15] Just the box.

[00:03:16] This is like a test for they should have said of making the essay.

[00:03:20] Instead of making me sit through an essay.

[00:03:22] They should have just handed this and goes Kathleen.

[00:03:24] Open this box and start a stopwatch.

[00:03:26] I'm like, fuck, fuck.

[00:03:28] I can't follow this.

[00:03:29] I'm pushing on this and nothing.

[00:03:31] I don't know.

[00:03:32] It's a wonderful box.

[00:03:34] It is like a Rubik's cube.

[00:03:35] I never solve that either.

[00:03:37] My one brother could do it like 18 times a day.

[00:03:39] And then he'd go there.

[00:03:40] And I'm like, oh, I never did get it.

[00:03:45] And then I became obsessed with doing it because I can be obsessive like that.

[00:03:49] And those are the kind of things you shouldn't give somebody who's not good with like that kind of thinking.

[00:03:54] Like, no, can't do it.

[00:03:57] Nope.

[00:03:57] Anyway, episode 205.

[00:03:59] So many things.

[00:04:01] So many things.

[00:04:03] We'll start with what I'm drinking.

[00:04:04] I'm drinking.

[00:04:05] So backstage, this was at Parks Casino, which is such a wonderful place.

[00:04:12] And they have their own betting app, Bet Parks, P-A-R-X.

[00:04:16] But it's all over the country.

[00:04:17] It's not just.

[00:04:18] And that casino, I was talking to the guys in depth about this.

[00:04:22] They set the odds for all kinds of casinos in the country.

[00:04:26] There's like 10 little children up there that are really good at math, probably super nerds, but they also like sports.

[00:04:31] So that takes a little bit of their nerd card away.

[00:04:34] Yeah.

[00:04:34] A little social.

[00:04:36] But they're probably the people at the bar on their phone the whole time doing the odds.

[00:04:39] But that's okay.

[00:04:40] Somebody needs to do it.

[00:04:43] Somebody, the Bitchin' Kitty.

[00:04:45] I'm trying.

[00:04:46] Oh, this came from Mary and Diane.

[00:04:48] And it was all cat beers.

[00:04:50] This is Bitchin' Kitty.

[00:04:51] This looks like a Maine Coon.

[00:04:52] It's Honest Abe's Tabby.

[00:04:53] It's awesome.

[00:04:54] It's American ale.

[00:04:55] It's a delicious beer.

[00:04:56] I like the name.

[00:04:57] Yeah.

[00:04:58] And then I'm also drinking Millennial Termite.

[00:05:02] Sam brought me some Dutch eggnog.

[00:05:05] Oh, cool.

[00:05:05] Yeah, from Wawa.

[00:05:07] And then, well, no, I got Wawa eggnog.

[00:05:09] I didn't bring that up.

[00:05:10] But this is the Pennsylvania Dutch, which is so funny because this is what my dad used to say.

[00:05:15] It's racist, for the record.

[00:05:17] Before I say it, I'll just announce it.

[00:05:18] Well, it's the scrubby Dutch in St. Louis.

[00:05:21] But, like, who still talks about Dutch people?

[00:05:23] Everybody is talking about Dutch.

[00:05:26] It's a gnome thing.

[00:05:27] I didn't know about it.

[00:05:28] But then my dad would just say these sweeping statements about, like, the entire neighborhood.

[00:05:32] They're just linear people.

[00:05:33] They like a clean porch.

[00:05:35] What?

[00:05:35] What?

[00:05:36] I'm like, nine.

[00:05:37] I'm like, how come everybody's outside sweeping?

[00:05:39] Because they're Dutch.

[00:05:41] Oh, okay.

[00:05:42] All right.

[00:05:42] It's linear.

[00:05:43] Yeah, what's linear, Dad?

[00:05:45] They just want everything organized.

[00:05:46] They're very much into organization.

[00:05:48] I'm like, okay.

[00:05:49] He's just decided.

[00:05:50] But apparently all of St. Louis had decided that, not just all people my dad's age anyway.

[00:05:55] It's Pennsylvania Dutch.

[00:05:56] I'd trust anything from the middle of Pennsylvania because that's the Amish, the Dutch, Lancaster,

[00:06:02] great city, great downtown.

[00:06:05] It's made with real dairy cream, rum, brandy, and blended whiskey.

[00:06:08] Let me tell you what.

[00:06:09] It is flip.

[00:06:10] There's not many egg knives I don't like, but these two, Evan Williams and this one, take

[00:06:16] the cake.

[00:06:16] Well, 500 liters.

[00:06:19] Evan Williams is 74% alcohol.

[00:06:22] 4% milk.

[00:06:24] Cream.

[00:06:25] 1% eggnog.

[00:06:26] I mean, nutmeg.

[00:06:28] Capital where?

[00:06:29] Connecticut.

[00:06:30] We've learned that.

[00:06:30] It's great.

[00:06:31] What are we going to try?

[00:06:32] We're going to try some Zerbies, Italian hoagie kettle chips from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania,

[00:06:38] from Termites Judith and Brian.

[00:06:40] Man, so much stuff came backstage at parks, at casino, and there was a youngster.

[00:06:47] He's the sweetest kid ever, Kevin.

[00:06:49] And I could tell, I go, do you like beer?

[00:06:51] He's like, I love beer.

[00:06:52] I go, this is going to be a great night for you because I don't take it all home.

[00:06:56] I take a lot home.

[00:06:57] But I'm going to, yep, you just stick around with Mama Termite.

[00:07:00] I'm old enough to be your grandmother.

[00:07:01] You stick around me like a catch and I got beer.

[00:07:04] Don't go far, Kevin.

[00:07:07] He was like, he reminded me of my nephews.

[00:07:10] Oh, these are really good.

[00:07:12] Nice.

[00:07:12] Trust anything they do in mid-Pennsylvania.

[00:07:16] Italian hoagie?

[00:07:17] Yeah.

[00:07:18] They're Italian hoagie potato chips.

[00:07:20] Nice.

[00:07:21] Yeah.

[00:07:21] They got zest to them.

[00:07:22] Oh, okay.

[00:07:23] Yeah.

[00:07:23] Wonderful.

[00:07:24] As a hoagie should.

[00:07:25] I'd give that.

[00:07:25] Yeah, it tastes like a hoagie.

[00:07:27] Nice.

[00:07:27] Which, by the way, in Shippensburg, I had the best stromboli at a place, unassuming,

[00:07:37] Arugals.

[00:07:38] It's a sports bar.

[00:07:39] It's just a sports bar.

[00:07:40] There was one guy in there too.

[00:07:43] So I went in the night before and got a stromboli.

[00:07:46] My sister-in-law makes them a Christmas.

[00:07:48] She's from Philly.

[00:07:49] My sister-in-law, Ellie.

[00:07:50] And they are wonderful.

[00:07:51] Hard to beat.

[00:07:53] This sports bar didn't beat it, but tied it.

[00:07:58] Tied it for a...

[00:07:59] It's real nice and what...

[00:08:01] But there was this guy in this Miami Dolphins jacket, which nothing about Pennsylvania says

[00:08:07] Dolphins.

[00:08:08] Or Miami.

[00:08:09] Or Miami.

[00:08:10] Like if you have a Steelers thing on, yeah.

[00:08:12] Eagles.

[00:08:13] Yeah.

[00:08:13] Maybe even there were a few Raven things in there.

[00:08:17] But Miami?

[00:08:18] And he was there the night before and that he was there and he looked a little rough

[00:08:22] around the edges.

[00:08:23] A little worn and torn.

[00:08:25] And then I went in the next day with Michael, the opening act, because I wanted him to taste

[00:08:29] his stromboli and I wanted the exact one I had the night before.

[00:08:32] And the guy was there again.

[00:08:33] I go, fuck, he's here again.

[00:08:34] But I thought he's saying that about me too.

[00:08:36] Right?

[00:08:36] Look at that lady.

[00:08:37] She's here again.

[00:08:38] But at least I don't have on the wrong check.

[00:08:41] I don't know.

[00:08:41] I mean, obviously he could have some loyalties.

[00:08:44] I get it.

[00:08:44] It's just usually in Eagles country or Steelers country, you do not see anything that varies.

[00:08:50] No.

[00:08:51] They are very, anyway.

[00:08:55] These are unique.

[00:08:56] Now we're going to get to it.

[00:08:58] Snacks.

[00:08:58] Extra dark charred splits from Redding, Pennsylvania.

[00:09:03] I've been to Redding.

[00:09:05] Yeah.

[00:09:06] It's nice.

[00:09:08] Oh.

[00:09:09] The Dutch are really good at pretzels.

[00:09:11] Let's throw that into the racist bucket.

[00:09:13] My dad already started it.

[00:09:14] Just a sweeping statement.

[00:09:15] All Dutch people.

[00:09:17] Oh, wow.

[00:09:18] Nice.

[00:09:19] Yeah.

[00:09:19] They're like extra burnt.

[00:09:21] Unknowing in a good way.

[00:09:22] They stay extra dark.

[00:09:24] They are.

[00:09:25] Wow.

[00:09:26] I didn't know you could demand that.

[00:09:28] I'd like my pretzels extra well done.

[00:09:30] Thank you.

[00:09:31] They're all good.

[00:09:32] Yeah.

[00:09:33] A plus.

[00:09:33] You can dip them in the hot sauce.

[00:09:34] That needs beer.

[00:09:36] Yeah.

[00:09:37] Oh, I forgot the hot sauce.

[00:09:38] That's Arugo's Everything Hot Sauce from Germite Ryan.

[00:09:43] Germite Ryan.

[00:09:44] Gay termite.

[00:09:46] Yeah.

[00:09:47] Somebody wrote OG termite.

[00:09:49] Does that mean old gay termite?

[00:09:51] I don't know either.

[00:09:52] They didn't explain it.

[00:09:55] Yeah.

[00:09:56] Oh.

[00:09:56] Wow.

[00:09:57] Very hot.

[00:09:59] Awesome on everything hot sauce.

[00:10:00] It is awesome on everything hot.

[00:10:02] Yeah.

[00:10:02] It kind of tastes like wing sauce.

[00:10:05] In a good way.

[00:10:07] Tastes like buffalo.

[00:10:08] Because wings are included.

[00:10:10] Wings.

[00:10:11] Well, of course.

[00:10:12] Yeah.

[00:10:13] Of course it should go on wings.

[00:10:14] But it tastes primarily like more like a wing sauce than a hot sauce.

[00:10:18] Oh, no shit.

[00:10:19] I know.

[00:10:21] All right.

[00:10:22] So that's that.

[00:10:24] One announcement.

[00:10:25] I started putting clips out.

[00:10:27] I hope you guys are liking them on TikTok and Instagram and wherever else they'll allow me.

[00:10:33] If somebody else owns the special, here's a good problem to have.

[00:10:38] Because the boys that helped me, they're like, Kathleen, how many specials do you have?

[00:10:41] I'm like, I don't know.

[00:10:43] Let me go try and count.

[00:10:45] And then they're like, which ones do you own outright?

[00:10:47] I'm like, I got to get in the filing cabinet for that shit.

[00:10:50] I don't know.

[00:10:51] Yes.

[00:10:52] A filing cabinet.

[00:10:52] Like a proper old person.

[00:10:54] I have files that have things.

[00:10:56] And here's the bothering Jesus special.

[00:10:57] This one.

[00:10:58] I don't know.

[00:10:59] But I put a lot of.

[00:11:00] I'm doing that in case you guys want to see old.

[00:11:02] Well, they're not old.

[00:11:03] Well, a lot of them are old right now because I can't get the newer ones up because I don't

[00:11:08] have full ownership until the lease runs out.

[00:11:11] It's like they've leased a car and I get it back.

[00:11:14] Yep.

[00:11:14] But there's a, you know, there's a time period.

[00:11:17] There's a term limit on their own.

[00:11:19] Well, they're not owning.

[00:11:20] They don't own it.

[00:11:21] So one thing I would tell younger comics and musicians, if possible, even though I don't

[00:11:25] know shit about music, I'm just throwing this out there.

[00:11:28] Own your own stuff.

[00:11:29] Yep.

[00:11:30] Just even if the devil comes to you with way more money than you have right now, which

[00:11:35] is why we all do it because we're like young and poor.

[00:11:39] And then somebody offers you all this shit and you're like, all right.

[00:11:42] And then I knew it.

[00:11:43] Like I should have had my dad read that contract.

[00:11:44] He's a lawyer.

[00:11:45] But I purposely hid it from him because I knew he'd rain on my parade.

[00:11:49] I knew he would.

[00:11:50] I know.

[00:11:50] I just knew he's a buzzkill.

[00:11:52] He has a no fun Charlie when it comes to contracts.

[00:11:54] He will just pick this fucker apart and then I won't get to do it.

[00:11:57] CD.

[00:11:58] And then sad things will ensue.

[00:12:00] Yep.

[00:12:01] So I didn't tell him.

[00:12:02] And now I wish I had.

[00:12:03] That's my bad.

[00:12:05] Upcoming shows before we go any further.

[00:12:07] So TikTok, if you want to see old jokes.

[00:12:09] Yeah.

[00:12:09] That's where I started.

[00:12:10] By the way, I started the religious war, the holy war between Catholics and Christians

[00:12:14] accidentally.

[00:12:15] I mean, well, here's the thing.

[00:12:17] The Catholics don't care.

[00:12:18] We're not even involved.

[00:12:19] This is now just a fighting amongst Christians.

[00:12:21] I don't know.

[00:12:22] But this person wrote this.

[00:12:23] These come to the team email.

[00:12:25] Made me laugh.

[00:12:25] This is from Amy.

[00:12:26] I love the infighting ant cat started in the greater Roman Catholics umbrella tree.

[00:12:31] And then paddles.

[00:12:33] Terrible Catholic.

[00:12:34] You're a terrible Catholic.

[00:12:35] I don't know what's going on in Canada, but those are some bullshit rules of Catholicism

[00:12:39] up there.

[00:12:39] We don't have a lot of.

[00:12:41] I know you don't have a lot of people, but there's books to not the Bible.

[00:12:45] Other books that tell you how to some of the shit you come up with.

[00:12:47] You're like, I've never even heard of that.

[00:12:49] Do you ask me what is a Roman Catholic?

[00:12:51] Yeah.

[00:12:52] First, you have to read survival.

[00:12:55] Survival books.

[00:12:55] Right.

[00:12:56] What to do when a grizzly is coming your way.

[00:12:57] I know there's priorities in Canada.

[00:12:59] There are priorities.

[00:13:00] Is a moose as friendly as he looks?

[00:13:02] Let's talk about that.

[00:13:03] Hmm.

[00:13:04] How about the town elf?

[00:13:05] Can we touch him?

[00:13:06] But I had to ask that.

[00:13:07] I'm like, could I pet a moose?

[00:13:09] And you're like, no, you're not going to do that.

[00:13:13] I just want to ask you.

[00:13:14] I can't hear thoughts on my theory about religion.

[00:13:16] Just to stir the pot.

[00:13:18] This is Amy's theory.

[00:13:19] If the devil is as horrible as religion claims him to be, wouldn't it make more sense for

[00:13:23] the devil to be responsible for creating organized religion due to all the fighting and hate

[00:13:27] it is perpetuated by religions for a deity that may or may not exist?

[00:13:33] That's the other thing.

[00:13:34] All of this fighting is over something that's invisible.

[00:13:37] I'm just throwing that as a Catholic.

[00:13:38] We just don't take our stuff seriously.

[00:13:41] Now, I don't know if that's good or bad.

[00:13:43] Some people do.

[00:13:44] Some people do.

[00:13:44] And those are called priests and nuns.

[00:13:46] That's people who take it seriously.

[00:13:49] Old people.

[00:13:50] My mom.

[00:13:50] My mom.

[00:13:51] My grandma's took it very...

[00:13:52] My mom's mom walked to church every single day of her life.

[00:13:57] Never learned how to drive a car.

[00:13:58] Didn't matter.

[00:13:59] St. Bernadette's was right down the street.

[00:14:01] She walked every single day.

[00:14:03] Yeah.

[00:14:04] But if I had 10 kids, I would too.

[00:14:06] I would just walk the other way and go, I'm going to be gone for an hour.

[00:14:08] Fend for yourselves.

[00:14:09] Anyway.

[00:14:10] So Amy said, if I was the devil, that's what I would do to spread as much hate and intolerance

[00:14:14] as possible.

[00:14:16] Also, why are Catholics more susceptible to demonic possession?

[00:14:21] I don't know, Amy.

[00:14:22] But I know that I snuck an Ouija board in my house when I was 10 and then I accidentally

[00:14:27] saw The Exorcist, even though I wasn't supposed to watch it.

[00:14:30] My parents left.

[00:14:30] And I threw that Ouija board all the way down a mountain because it scared the living shit

[00:14:34] out of me and I will never do it again.

[00:14:36] Maybe because we've been taught it's real.

[00:14:39] I don't know.

[00:14:41] Don't let me start another fight.

[00:14:42] I could start another fight.

[00:14:44] I don't know the answer.

[00:14:45] They're Christians.

[00:14:46] Do we believe in?

[00:14:46] Do you guys believe in?

[00:14:47] Well, I think I'm Christian.

[00:14:49] They don't.

[00:14:50] But anyway.

[00:14:52] Do...

[00:14:52] All the Southerners.

[00:14:54] In the South.

[00:14:55] The Southern Catholics agree with me?

[00:14:57] Yeah.

[00:14:58] Yeah.

[00:14:58] Yeah.

[00:14:59] Totally.

[00:14:59] Well, it's 2,000 years old.

[00:15:01] It's not like Scientology.

[00:15:02] We didn't make it up in 1950.

[00:15:04] Right.

[00:15:04] Jesus.

[00:15:05] Or whatever.

[00:15:07] I don't know.

[00:15:08] Do Christians believe in demonic possession?

[00:15:12] Put that in Google.

[00:15:13] Let's see.

[00:15:14] Well, then I'll get off religion.

[00:15:15] I know what it does is people get crazy.

[00:15:18] You want to start a fight.

[00:15:20] Oh.

[00:15:21] It wasn't even a fight.

[00:15:22] I didn't even...

[00:15:22] It was just a joke.

[00:15:25] The Bible includes the concept of demonic...

[00:15:30] All right.

[00:15:31] It was practiced by early Christians.

[00:15:32] It was practiced by early Christians.

[00:15:34] They mean us.

[00:15:35] Jesus cast it out.

[00:15:36] Jesus cast it out all the demons?

[00:15:38] Yeah.

[00:15:39] That's what his job was.

[00:15:40] That's what his job was.

[00:15:41] Well, St. Patrick did the same with the snakes in Ireland.

[00:15:44] So everybody's good.

[00:15:46] I'll put this in the schnows.

[00:15:48] Fight over it.

[00:15:50] And then there was one other team email.

[00:15:51] I like it.

[00:15:52] Saw this about Loch Ness.

[00:15:53] I mean, who doesn't mean...

[00:15:54] Who doesn't love a good Nessie fact on a Monday?

[00:15:58] And then the man sent me a...

[00:16:00] This is from...

[00:16:01] I don't...

[00:16:02] Oh.

[00:16:03] I'm no Bob and Clark, but I love science.

[00:16:05] Anaheim Research Assistant Emily.

[00:16:07] It's Emily.

[00:16:08] It's not a...

[00:16:09] Did you know that Loch Ness holds more water than all the lakes, rivers, canals, and reservoirs

[00:16:13] in the whole of England and Wales combined?

[00:16:15] The deepest point of Loch Ness is 126 fathoms.

[00:16:19] What's a fathom?

[00:16:21] What?

[00:16:22] What is...

[00:16:23] A fathom?

[00:16:26] Which is...

[00:16:29] In feet, not meters.

[00:16:31] We're not doing Canadian math today, paddles.

[00:16:33] We're doing American math.

[00:16:35] What is a fathom?

[00:16:37] It's twice the average depth of the North Sea.

[00:16:40] That's how deep Loch Ness is.

[00:16:41] A distance from...

[00:16:48] A middle finger...

[00:16:51] To the other of the other?

[00:16:52] Yeah.

[00:16:53] Well, whose arms?

[00:16:55] This is dumb.

[00:16:56] The name comes from old English...

[00:16:57] Old English fathom meaning.

[00:17:00] Outstretched arms.

[00:17:00] Outstretched arms.

[00:17:01] Yeah.

[00:17:01] Well, whose goddamn arms?

[00:17:03] This is a stupid way to measure something.

[00:17:05] Why don't we take a baby and then it would only be a foot?

[00:17:09] Testimary equals...

[00:17:10] Oh, it equals six feet?

[00:17:12] Okay.

[00:17:12] So, 126 fathoms.

[00:17:14] Yeah.

[00:17:15] 126 times 6...

[00:17:17] Oh, my God.

[00:17:17] ...6, 3 is 12, is 15, is 6, is 7.

[00:17:22] It's 756 feet deep.

[00:17:24] You're welcome.

[00:17:24] That's probably wrong.

[00:17:25] This is where you'll find the Loch Ness Monster chilling on most days.

[00:17:29] Emily agrees with me.

[00:17:30] The Loch Ness Monster is chilling in the 756 feet.

[00:17:35] It was really fast.

[00:17:36] Yeah.

[00:17:36] Yeah, sometimes I got it.

[00:17:37] I can't explain it.

[00:17:38] This morning.

[00:17:39] Sometimes I don't.

[00:17:40] No, it happened on testing a lot.

[00:17:42] They should have just handed me this box and went, nope.

[00:17:44] Nope.

[00:17:45] She can't open a box.

[00:17:47] God, I get so frustrated.

[00:17:49] Then I just take a knife and start cutting it.

[00:17:50] No.

[00:17:51] Well, I didn't destroy this box because it's pretty.

[00:17:53] It's a twist tie.

[00:17:54] Got a knife going.

[00:17:56] Well, yeah, things got to happen that way.

[00:17:58] That's how things got to happen.

[00:18:00] Upcoming shows.

[00:18:01] Oh, God.

[00:18:02] Ha ha.

[00:18:03] January 17th, Omaha, Nebraska.

[00:18:05] I think that's sold out.

[00:18:05] January 18th, Cedar Falls, Iowa.

[00:18:07] We're picking up speed there.

[00:18:09] Good way to go, Iones.

[00:18:10] January 23rd, Spokane, Washington.

[00:18:12] Casino gig.

[00:18:13] Love it.

[00:18:13] But 26th, 25th of January.

[00:18:17] Hi, baby cat.

[00:18:20] Scottsdale, Arizona.

[00:18:21] The casino talking stick.

[00:18:23] Gorgeous.

[00:18:23] January 21st, Huntington.

[00:18:25] Two shows in New York.

[00:18:26] Two shows.

[00:18:27] We added one because the first one sold out so fast.

[00:18:29] Same night.

[00:18:30] Two shows.

[00:18:31] February 1st, Red Bank, New Jersey.

[00:18:32] Always a hit.

[00:18:33] All comics love that place.

[00:18:35] Somebody should go film a special there.

[00:18:36] I wonder if anybody has.

[00:18:37] Because we all like it.

[00:18:38] And then there's some we all hate.

[00:18:40] But I won't mention those.

[00:18:41] That's nice.

[00:18:42] I'm not here to be a hater today.

[00:18:43] I'm here to start tiny little, tiny little wars.

[00:18:46] Tiny wars.

[00:18:47] Tiny fights.

[00:18:49] Tiny fights.

[00:18:50] Tiny holiday fights.

[00:18:51] February 14th.

[00:18:53] Oh, my gosh.

[00:18:54] On Valentine's.

[00:18:55] Or as a friend of mine who shall remain a name says, Valentine's.

[00:18:59] Still.

[00:19:00] He's 50.

[00:19:00] I know.

[00:19:01] I don't know.

[00:19:02] He's 55 at least.

[00:19:06] That person also says supposedly.

[00:19:08] So then sometimes our mutual friend, me and that friend, make fun of that friend.

[00:19:13] And I will call my friend that says it correctly.

[00:19:17] Maybe in the summer.

[00:19:18] It doesn't have to be anywhere near anything.

[00:19:20] And I just go, just want to let you know, supposedly it's Valentine's Day.

[00:19:23] And then I hang up.

[00:19:27] February 15th.

[00:19:28] Fort Myers.

[00:19:28] I can't believe I'm doing a show on Valentine's Day.

[00:19:32] Fort Lauderdale.

[00:19:34] February 15th.

[00:19:35] Fort Myers.

[00:19:36] February 20th.

[00:19:37] Davenport, Iowa.

[00:19:39] What a lovely time to be in Iowa.

[00:19:40] That is beautiful.

[00:19:41] February.

[00:19:42] Yeah.

[00:19:42] Well, maybe everybody will be cold and sick of it and they'll come inside.

[00:19:45] Yeah.

[00:19:46] So Shippingsburg.

[00:19:47] Great little sports bar.

[00:19:49] Go to our Arugos.

[00:19:50] If you look, get the Italian, the regular old school classic Italian stromboli.

[00:19:55] So good.

[00:19:56] Well, yeah, I added.

[00:19:58] No, I think it came with pepperoni.

[00:20:00] I had to add it.

[00:20:01] You told me in a video.

[00:20:02] Well, Michael will remember.

[00:20:03] He went with me.

[00:20:05] Parks Casino.

[00:20:06] So fun.

[00:20:06] It's outside of Philly.

[00:20:08] About a half hour.

[00:20:09] I was at the Philly airport.

[00:20:10] Boom.

[00:20:11] Before you even knew it.

[00:20:12] And let me tell you what, if you're from Philly and you don't live at that Marriott at the

[00:20:15] airport, you don't know what you're missing.

[00:20:17] It's so great.

[00:20:19] You put your rental car right over here.

[00:20:20] You get to walk.

[00:20:21] No shuttle.

[00:20:21] Boom.

[00:20:22] Walk right back to the Marriott.

[00:20:23] Boom.

[00:20:24] Walk to the airport.

[00:20:25] Boom.

[00:20:26] Sometimes you'll see professional football players in there because they stay there.

[00:20:30] That's where they stay, I think.

[00:20:31] Well, I've seen a lot.

[00:20:32] Let's just put it that way.

[00:20:33] I don't know.

[00:20:33] It's their sequester hotel.

[00:20:35] It's their sequester hotel.

[00:20:36] You want to get some autographs?

[00:20:37] Maybe some selfies down at the bar?

[00:20:39] Yeah.

[00:20:40] Why not?

[00:20:40] At the bar.

[00:20:40] Like at the bar.

[00:20:41] Oh, look.

[00:20:42] It's Saquon Barkley.

[00:20:43] Oh, yeah.

[00:20:44] Speaking of football, Aaron Rodgers and the Jets are officially eliminated.

[00:20:48] Yay!

[00:20:49] Yay!

[00:20:50] Yay!

[00:20:51] Go home now, Paw Paw.

[00:20:53] I don't know what he's going to do.

[00:20:54] And then he's like, well, you know, if they don't want me back, they just don't

[00:20:57] know what I'm bringing to the table.

[00:20:58] Oh, I saw what you brought to the table.

[00:20:59] I saw all year long, every game, because I have the YouTube and a

[00:21:03] bell ticket.

[00:21:04] And I live to watch the Cowboys eat shit and then Aaron Rodgers throw passes

[00:21:10] into the ground.

[00:21:11] And it's, oh, my God.

[00:21:13] Oh, my God.

[00:21:14] I will not make this complicated for non-sports people.

[00:21:19] Jerry Jones.

[00:21:20] Okay.

[00:21:20] I love Stephen A. Smith.

[00:21:21] I know he can be a lot.

[00:21:23] I get it.

[00:21:23] For people that want to complain about him.

[00:21:26] But I like him because his hatred of the Cowboys is unnatural.

[00:21:30] And I do know he is friends with Jerry Jones.

[00:21:32] Or so they say, you know, I don't know the man.

[00:21:34] But but it's gone.

[00:21:36] He has been saying for a year now that Jerry Jones, like Biden, is slipping and it's noticeable

[00:21:42] and this and that.

[00:21:44] And then he'll start his show.

[00:21:45] It's called First Take.

[00:21:46] Wait.

[00:21:46] He usually has on a giant cowboy hat.

[00:21:48] It's always after they lost and they haven't won really at all this year.

[00:21:50] So he just turns around and goes.

[00:21:51] They've never lost.

[00:21:52] They've never won at home.

[00:21:53] They've never won at home since last Christmas.

[00:21:54] And people in Dallas are still can't wait to shell out that PSO money.

[00:21:59] Well, how do I buy more seats for this shit show?

[00:22:02] I St. Louis people don't have that kind of I don't know whether to applaud that or not.

[00:22:07] But that kind of behavior is going to continue letting him do that kind of behavior.

[00:22:12] But he's crazy anyway.

[00:22:13] It doesn't matter.

[00:22:13] Jerry Jones has become this monolith of narcissism that is completely out of control,

[00:22:20] completely out of control.

[00:22:22] But he's likable.

[00:22:23] I mean, I get it.

[00:22:24] It's like some narcissists are super duper likable.

[00:22:28] And none of his children will say anything.

[00:22:31] They're all like 70 now.

[00:22:32] And none of them will say nothing.

[00:22:33] They just sit there and, you know, it's like they're terrified of him.

[00:22:36] Just, you know what?

[00:22:37] Do what they did with Bob Hope.

[00:22:38] Just tell him he has an interview and have a guy with a microphone ask questions and

[00:22:43] tell him, oh, that was ESPN.

[00:22:44] He doesn't fucking know.

[00:22:46] He's crazy.

[00:22:47] This is the craziest statement I have ever heard, ever.

[00:22:51] Ever.

[00:22:52] And Stephen A.

[00:22:53] Smith lost his mind.

[00:22:55] Rightly so.

[00:22:56] I couldn't.

[00:22:57] I had to rewind it three times to go, did he actually just propose that?

[00:23:04] So the Bengals were going to punt.

[00:23:07] Yep.

[00:23:08] And then the Cowboys blocked the punt.

[00:23:11] Yep.

[00:23:11] Which is ideal.

[00:23:12] Which is what you practice all year long.

[00:23:15] Well done, gentlemen.

[00:23:17] That's what we were going for.

[00:23:18] And the game is on the line.

[00:23:19] It's tied.

[00:23:20] It's very late in the day here.

[00:23:23] Well, the ball, when it got blocked, hit the ground and ricocheted and it went backwards

[00:23:31] behind.

[00:23:32] Well, I shouldn't say backwards.

[00:23:33] It went behind the line of scrimmage.

[00:23:36] Now, if you're a cowboy, don't touch that ball.

[00:23:39] Right.

[00:23:39] Everybody knows that.

[00:23:41] Kathleen Madigan, a five foot tall woman, knows that.

[00:23:44] Never played football.

[00:23:45] Never attended a practice.

[00:23:46] Never.

[00:23:47] Never.

[00:23:47] My brothers didn't play.

[00:23:48] And I know that.

[00:23:51] Well, a cowboy touched it and he didn't grab it.

[00:23:54] He just hit it and he tried to grab it.

[00:23:56] And then a Bengal got it.

[00:23:57] And so now it's the Bengals ball.

[00:24:00] Jerry said, I don't know what to do if this is your father.

[00:24:05] I, I, I, what I say is you use the Bob Hope thing.

[00:24:08] Let he signs autographs.

[00:24:09] He goes early.

[00:24:10] He loves it.

[00:24:11] He loves the attention.

[00:24:12] He's got selfies.

[00:24:13] It's all about Jerry.

[00:24:14] That's fine.

[00:24:15] Let Papa do that and tell him he's got more fans.

[00:24:18] Can't talk to the press right now.

[00:24:19] You have so many fans, so many fans, dad.

[00:24:21] And then you just lead dad.

[00:24:22] You how people always act like, well, I don't know what to do.

[00:24:25] Trick him.

[00:24:26] He's an old man who's losing his mind.

[00:24:28] It can't be this hard.

[00:24:30] That's on you.

[00:24:30] If you can't figure out how to trick Papa Jones.

[00:24:34] So Jerry comes on and he goes, well, you know, I wish, uh, I don't want us to block

[00:24:40] punts anymore.

[00:24:41] What?

[00:24:43] I had, we hadn't blocked that punt.

[00:24:46] Okay.

[00:24:46] Let's not do interceptions anymore.

[00:24:48] Let's let them catch it.

[00:24:49] And then punch that ball out and hope that there's a guy right.

[00:24:51] What are you talking about?

[00:24:53] Stephen A. Smith.

[00:24:54] If you don't watch first day, go, go find it somewhere and watch the episode.

[00:24:58] Watch Tuesday morning's episode.

[00:25:00] And all of them were like, yeah, I don't even know what that means.

[00:25:04] Like he wishes they hadn't blocked it because then if the man had punted it and it had not

[00:25:09] been blocked, the Cowboys would have had to start probably at their own 20 with the black

[00:25:13] punt.

[00:25:14] Had the guy not touched it, you would have had the ball on the Bengals 30.

[00:25:17] Which is a lot further.

[00:25:19] It's a lot further away from scoring.

[00:25:22] Well, if you don't know football, it's much more to your advantage to, to, to, to block

[00:25:29] the punt than to not block the punt.

[00:25:32] I mean, holy shit show.

[00:25:35] I just, I, I can't.

[00:25:38] I'm so sad that the rest of the games mean nothing because I want them to mean something

[00:25:42] because I want to watch this.

[00:25:44] And it's, I like Dallas people.

[00:25:46] I, Ron says the stadium is awesome.

[00:25:48] I've never been.

[00:25:49] I've been in.

[00:25:49] Um, is it awesome?

[00:25:51] Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[00:25:52] But I bet SoFi got, is even better, right?

[00:25:54] Better.

[00:25:54] Yeah.

[00:25:54] Because it was built 10 years later or something, maybe even 20 years later.

[00:25:58] I don't know.

[00:25:58] Jerry's church is falling.

[00:26:00] Jerry's church is falling.

[00:26:01] Yeah.

[00:26:02] Because Jerry, I don't, the only thing you can do, you can't depose your father.

[00:26:08] You can't take him down like a dictator, but you can trick him and say, dad, we've got

[00:26:14] a lot of serious interviews for you and get a microphone.

[00:26:16] How hard is it to find tape and write ESPN on it?

[00:26:20] Right.

[00:26:20] A wireless microphone, just tape.

[00:26:22] I mean, you don't even, it doesn't even need to look fucking real.

[00:26:25] It can look kind of real and just go.

[00:26:27] So Jerry, what are your opinions on?

[00:26:29] And then, so there's the real press gaggle.

[00:26:32] And then we have a fake one and then we do that.

[00:26:34] And then it stops all this shit, but he can stay happy because he does love it.

[00:26:40] I mean, he loves, he just doesn't see big picture anymore.

[00:26:44] And when I see his children who are full grown adults, 60 years old, maybe one of the grandchildren

[00:26:54] can say something like if he's like seven or eight, grandpa, you're crazy now you have to

[00:26:59] stop.

[00:26:59] Like something like that.

[00:27:00] Maybe you could feed the line to the child, go here next time you see grandpa, this is

[00:27:04] what you're going to say.

[00:27:04] Okay.

[00:27:05] We're all on board.

[00:27:06] You won't get in trouble.

[00:27:07] All you hear is Charlotte yelling, play Thunderstruck.

[00:27:09] Yeah.

[00:27:09] I know the daughter.

[00:27:11] She's in charge of the cheerleaders.

[00:27:12] Could have, it couldn't be more.

[00:27:14] Yeah.

[00:27:19] I watched the whole Dallas Cowboy cheerleader thing.

[00:27:22] I loved every minute of it.

[00:27:23] There was a shorty from Missouri trying to make it.

[00:27:25] She made it too.

[00:27:25] I'm like, oh no.

[00:27:27] When they lined them all up, I'm like, she's me.

[00:27:29] You're the shoddy shod.

[00:27:30] Nobody's going to pick you.

[00:27:32] Hey, Kathleen, do a high kick.

[00:27:33] It goes like one foot in the air.

[00:27:35] That's as long.

[00:27:35] That's the length of my leg.

[00:27:37] Sorry.

[00:27:38] Can't do a high kick.

[00:27:39] Not going to be a rocket.

[00:27:40] And I'm not going to be a, um, yeah.

[00:27:42] Whatever.

[00:27:44] Play Thunderstruck.

[00:27:45] I know.

[00:27:46] And there's still people showing up.

[00:27:48] Meanwhile, at the Titans game, not a soul showed up, nor should they have.

[00:27:52] I mean, ridiculous.

[00:27:53] Um, and it was kind of rainy.

[00:27:55] Cause I thought about going, if I had made it home in time, I don't know how some of

[00:27:58] these teams, the Panthers, their tickets are the stub hub fee, like 80 cents.

[00:28:03] Your beer's going to cost more than your ticket.

[00:28:05] Thank God for TV revenue sharing.

[00:28:07] That's all I have to say about that.

[00:28:09] All right.

[00:28:09] That's a football wrap.

[00:28:11] And I didn't even make the playoffs in the one league.

[00:28:13] I'm in the consolation league.

[00:28:15] Yeah.

[00:28:16] But I'm still going to participate.

[00:28:17] I still give a shit.

[00:28:18] Um, the other league I'm going to win outright and I might, I might win the pick them pool.

[00:28:23] I have 129 wins.

[00:28:24] What?

[00:28:25] Yep.

[00:28:26] Closest person to me.

[00:28:27] Some guy named Derek.

[00:28:28] He has 128.

[00:28:30] I don't know who Derek is, but I'm Derek.

[00:28:32] I'm coming for you.

[00:28:33] Are you related to him?

[00:28:34] No, I'm not related to him.

[00:28:36] There's like 37 people.

[00:28:37] I'm probably related to 25.

[00:28:41] There's 12 stragglers.

[00:28:42] Lewis being one of them in the pick them pool.

[00:28:44] Lewis is not going to win.

[00:28:46] Um, yeah, no, they're friends of my brother's and, um, yeah, I don't, I know some of my brother's

[00:28:54] friends, but in the league that I'm still in.

[00:28:59] Oh, some of my nephews.

[00:29:01] Yeah.

[00:29:01] They're evil.

[00:29:03] Yeah.

[00:29:03] They're evil.

[00:29:04] They're evil because they have a lot of free time at their quote jobs and they know way

[00:29:10] too much to have a job.

[00:29:11] I'm like, what are you really doing all day in the basement?

[00:29:14] Podcast.

[00:29:15] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:15] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:16] Yes.

[00:29:17] P.S.

[00:29:17] They're listening.

[00:29:18] Anyway, let's move on.

[00:29:19] Queen and King news.

[00:29:21] Well, first of all, did you see Snoop?

[00:29:24] I don't watch the voice, but I saw, um, oh, what'd you call it?

[00:29:30] A clip?

[00:29:30] Well, I Googled it because I saw a clip of it on the today show, which I cannot watch anymore.

[00:29:34] I just can't.

[00:29:35] I can't.

[00:29:36] I can't do Savannah and I can't do Hoda.

[00:29:38] I can't.

[00:29:38] Hoda's always smiling no matter what it's about.

[00:29:40] Right.

[00:29:41] Oh, so all of your children died in a car accident.

[00:29:44] Oh, I know, but she's smiling.

[00:29:46] No, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:29:49] And Savannah, they just plug-y their own product.

[00:29:51] She's written a book.

[00:29:53] She loves everybody.

[00:29:53] Anyway, and she's a lawyer.

[00:29:55] She is not an idiot.

[00:29:57] She is a lawyer.

[00:29:58] Yeah.

[00:29:58] No, I know.

[00:29:59] I Googled it because she seems sometimes not so smart.

[00:30:03] And then other times she does.

[00:30:04] So it's confusing.

[00:30:05] I know.

[00:30:06] They've all written books.

[00:30:07] Al Roker wrote a cookbook.

[00:30:09] I just can't stop it.

[00:30:11] It's all NBC self-promotion.

[00:30:12] However, it was on.

[00:30:14] And Snoop and Sting.

[00:30:16] Sting, who never ages, looks exactly the same.

[00:30:20] It's a great song.

[00:30:21] It's very good.

[00:30:24] Put it in the schnotes.

[00:30:25] Yeah, I loved it.

[00:30:26] I can't wait to go get it.

[00:30:29] Download it.

[00:30:30] Get it.

[00:30:30] Get it.

[00:30:31] Tay Tay is finished.

[00:30:34] Yay.

[00:30:34] Yay.

[00:30:36] Good job.

[00:30:36] In Canada.

[00:30:37] She gave $197 million in bonuses to the Era Tour's performer crew on top of their salaries.

[00:30:45] That's fantastic.

[00:30:45] It is fantastic.

[00:30:46] And then people go, oh, well, it's tax deductible.

[00:30:48] You still have to give it away.

[00:30:49] And you still have to earn it.

[00:30:51] Make it.

[00:30:51] You got to make it.

[00:30:52] Yeah.

[00:30:52] You could do nothing.

[00:30:55] Let's find out how many bonuses Stevie and Billy are giving out.

[00:30:59] Hmm?

[00:30:59] Hmm?

[00:31:00] Hmm?

[00:31:01] Um, this goes from truck drivers, caterers, instrument techs, merch team, lighting, sound production,

[00:31:07] assistants, carpenters, dancers, keep on hair, makeup, wardrobe, blah, blah, blah.

[00:31:12] Keeps going.

[00:31:13] Everybody.

[00:31:14] Basically.

[00:31:14] Do you have a friend on the sound team?

[00:31:16] I do have a friend on the sound team.

[00:31:17] He's probably very excited.

[00:31:19] Yeah.

[00:31:19] And, um, and he's finally home.

[00:31:22] Yes.

[00:31:22] Yes.

[00:31:22] He's been gone forever.

[00:31:23] As long as Tay Tay has.

[00:31:25] Mm-hmm.

[00:31:26] But when it's gone too long, she gives them money to buy tickets for their, for a friend

[00:31:31] or spouse or whatever to come over.

[00:31:33] Oh, that's great.

[00:31:34] It's very nice.

[00:31:35] She's a wonderful person.

[00:31:36] She's a wonderful person.

[00:31:37] Yeah.

[00:31:37] So we, so we know from what we know.

[00:31:39] Yeah.

[00:31:41] Um, that's all the shows.

[00:31:43] 149.

[00:31:44] God.

[00:31:44] Yep.

[00:31:45] 10 million people attended the Eras tour.

[00:31:48] I was one of them.

[00:31:50] Me too.

[00:31:51] Thank you.

[00:31:51] Didn't even know what era I was in.

[00:31:53] Thank you.

[00:31:53] Never knew.

[00:31:54] Never knew.

[00:31:55] Never knew.

[00:31:56] Bob just kept asking if he could sit down because his knees hurt.

[00:32:01] Sure.

[00:32:02] This is why Stevie's concerts are an hour and a half.

[00:32:06] Because everybody's old.

[00:32:07] Unless they brought their grandkid or their kid.

[00:32:09] And we want to sit down after an hour and a half.

[00:32:11] We're tired now.

[00:32:13] Um, $2 billion in total tickets.

[00:32:17] $2 billion in a bunch of numbers.

[00:32:19] Best-selling tour of all time.

[00:32:21] Double the gross ticket sales of any other concert and tour history.

[00:32:24] No one can beat this.

[00:32:25] No.

[00:32:26] No one will have the energy.

[00:32:27] What?

[00:32:29] 149 shows.

[00:32:30] Wow.

[00:32:31] Yeah.

[00:32:31] And then she's got this book.

[00:32:34] That's 600 hours.

[00:32:36] 600 hours on stage.

[00:32:37] 600 hours on stage?

[00:32:38] Yeah.

[00:32:39] Uh, she sold 814 copies in the first two days of the book.

[00:32:44] It's a target, I think.

[00:32:46] Yeah.

[00:32:48] Um, she's up for six more golden gramophones at the award show, including album of the year

[00:32:54] for TTPD.

[00:32:56] That's a gramophones.

[00:32:57] Well, it says gramophones.

[00:32:59] I didn't know what it was.

[00:33:00] That's a Grammy?

[00:33:01] Yes.

[00:33:02] Oh.

[00:33:02] Grammy.

[00:33:03] Great.

[00:33:04] Good for her.

[00:33:04] Gramophones.

[00:33:05] Old.

[00:33:05] Good for her.

[00:33:07] Anything O-phone.

[00:33:08] Anything that ends in O-phone.

[00:33:11] Speaking of phone, you got a new one.

[00:33:13] I do have a new phone.

[00:33:14] It hasn't been transferred yet, though.

[00:33:15] I'm too afraid.

[00:33:16] Is it an iPhone?

[00:33:17] No, it's not an iPhone.

[00:33:19] No.

[00:33:21] Is it?

[00:33:22] So, oh my God, this is so funny.

[00:33:24] Speaking of my phone.

[00:33:25] So, I pay for my mom's phone.

[00:33:28] She has T-Mobile.

[00:33:29] It is an iPhone.

[00:33:31] We are on T-Mobile.

[00:33:32] She's like my...

[00:33:33] I'm sorry.

[00:33:34] She's my plus one, right?

[00:33:36] And then my dad was my plus two, blah, blah, blah.

[00:33:38] She has somebody, I'm guessing my brother Joe and his wife Amy gave my mom an iWatch.

[00:33:47] Okay.

[00:33:48] So, it doesn't communicate with Androids.

[00:33:53] Sometimes, when I call her, she'll answer on her iWatch, which is astonishing.

[00:33:57] I didn't know she could do that.

[00:33:59] But she can't hear me because it's an Android.

[00:34:02] So, she just yells at her arm until I hang up.

[00:34:07] And then you hear her arm.

[00:34:08] Like, she's getting out of there.

[00:34:09] Oh, I can hear her.

[00:34:11] Hello?

[00:34:12] Hello?

[00:34:12] And then it's bashing like she's getting out of a car.

[00:34:14] And then the dog.

[00:34:15] Rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr.

[00:34:16] I can hear the fucking dog.

[00:34:18] And this...

[00:34:19] Kathleen, this must be you.

[00:34:21] Because I can't hear you.

[00:34:23] Hello?

[00:34:24] Hello?

[00:34:24] And I could just see her.

[00:34:26] She could be out in public just yelling at her arm.

[00:34:29] And people are like, anyway, speaking of new phones.

[00:34:32] Back to the queen news.

[00:34:33] Back to the queen news.

[00:34:35] Sorry.

[00:34:35] Highly, easily distractible today.

[00:34:39] Cher says her next album is probably her last.

[00:34:42] What?

[00:34:43] There's no reason to quit if you can still sing.

[00:34:45] I think the road can be hard.

[00:34:47] But I don't think there can't have another.

[00:34:48] And her house is on fire right now in Malibu.

[00:34:51] Well, it's not on fire, but she's been evacuated.

[00:34:53] Terrible.

[00:34:53] And if there's anybody in Malibu, we need to get out alive at Cher.

[00:34:57] Yes.

[00:34:57] There's a lot of people that can be left up there that don't care about.

[00:35:00] And you femper yourself.

[00:35:01] But we need all the help we can to get Cher out of there safely.

[00:35:04] Thank you.

[00:35:05] Thank you, fireman.

[00:35:08] That's what she says.

[00:35:09] Okay.

[00:35:09] So that's my Cher news.

[00:35:12] Chapel, nothing.

[00:35:13] Tom Brady was terrible this weekend.

[00:35:15] I don't think he's...

[00:35:17] He was really hoarse.

[00:35:19] And he's so excited.

[00:35:20] Every single play.

[00:35:21] I'm like, talk, just talk normal.

[00:35:22] Is this how he does breakfast with his children?

[00:35:25] Holy Christ.

[00:35:26] I would never get out of bed.

[00:35:27] I'd hide from him.

[00:35:27] I'm like, if that, you know, crazy dictator's in the kitchen.

[00:35:30] Okay, breakfast.

[00:35:31] We have three choices.

[00:35:32] French toast.

[00:35:33] Not very, uh, not very nutritious, but it'll get you going for a hot 10 minutes.

[00:35:38] How about some Cheerios?

[00:35:39] Oh, high sugar.

[00:35:40] High sugar.

[00:35:41] All fake.

[00:35:42] Not really any kind of wheat.

[00:35:44] Probably not.

[00:35:45] Or eggs.

[00:35:46] I don't know.

[00:35:47] Cholesterol.

[00:35:48] Like, every single word doesn't need to be that crazy.

[00:35:52] Doesn't mean I don't love Tom.

[00:35:53] I think Tom's out anyway because he bought some of the Raiders.

[00:35:55] I think they're going to work that out.

[00:35:57] Well, he was hoarse.

[00:35:59] Yeah.

[00:36:00] Jelly turned 40.

[00:36:01] Jelly turned 40.

[00:36:02] A party in Nashville.

[00:36:03] I was invited to go down to Zaney's, but I wasn't home yet, so I couldn't go.

[00:36:08] So anyway, happy birthday, Jelly Belly.

[00:36:09] Um, Tay Tay, Dolly.

[00:36:11] Here's the Dolly news.

[00:36:12] Who's over here?

[00:36:14] Oh, Queen Stevie.

[00:36:16] We already talked about that.

[00:36:16] Dolly.

[00:36:17] Dolly's right there.

[00:36:18] Yeah, right here.

[00:36:20] Would you like to be, play Dolly on Broadway?

[00:36:22] No.

[00:36:23] The musical's coming out.

[00:36:25] I have a friend that would.

[00:36:27] I don't know anybody that could do it.

[00:36:29] No.

[00:36:30] Like, out of all of my comedian friends, and I know a bunch of Dolly drag queens,

[00:36:35] you'd have to really be able to act and for real sing.

[00:36:41] Kristen Chenoweth?

[00:36:43] Tiny blonde.

[00:36:44] She is a tiny blonde.

[00:36:46] Yeah.

[00:36:46] That voice down.

[00:36:47] Yeah, that voice a little bit high.

[00:36:49] Ooh, shoo, buddy.

[00:36:51] Yeah.

[00:36:53] By the way, I still haven't seen Wicked.

[00:36:54] Probably won't, because I haven't even seen The Wizard of Oz.

[00:36:57] But my friend Nicole went and said, that movie's three hours long.

[00:37:00] Oh, no, no, no.

[00:37:01] I can't.

[00:37:02] Yeah.

[00:37:02] Oh, God.

[00:37:03] I probably wouldn't go anyway, but hearing that sealed the deal.

[00:37:07] Three hours, unless we're doing all of World War I or all of World War II,

[00:37:11] I'm in for your three hours.

[00:37:12] It has to be.

[00:37:13] There's so much happened.

[00:37:14] Yeah.

[00:37:14] Or it could be five hours.

[00:37:15] I would sit there for five for World War I or World War II or the Civil War.

[00:37:18] Yep.

[00:37:18] Any kind of war.

[00:37:20] Three hours.

[00:37:21] Just so you know, that movie's three hours long.

[00:37:24] So they're going to do a Broadway show.

[00:37:25] Here's what you need to be able to do.

[00:37:27] Okay.

[00:37:28] To be Dolly.

[00:37:29] You have until midnight, January 12th, to send in an audition.

[00:37:35] Yep.

[00:37:35] Okay?

[00:37:36] You got to record a one-minute video of themselves singing their favorite part and song

[00:37:41] and post it to social media with the tag, search for Dolly.

[00:37:44] This is going to be fantastic.

[00:37:46] Yes.

[00:37:47] Oh, my God.

[00:37:48] You also have to complete an application form on the musical site.

[00:37:54] Oh.

[00:37:55] They're looking for performers of all ages to portray a partner at different stages of her

[00:38:00] incredible life.

[00:38:01] So we're not just picking one.

[00:38:03] Yeah.

[00:38:03] Get a young Dolly.

[00:38:05] Childhood.

[00:38:05] Childhood Dolly.

[00:38:06] Right.

[00:38:07] Oh, God.

[00:38:08] I forget.

[00:38:09] We start all the way in.

[00:38:10] Coat of many colors.

[00:38:10] In Sevierville.

[00:38:11] Hello?

[00:38:12] Sevierville.

[00:38:13] Coat of many colors.

[00:38:14] Just, yeah.

[00:38:16] Dolly's hometown, by the way, just makes up its own road signs.

[00:38:19] Yeah.

[00:38:19] In Sevierville, me and Vic Henley were going through this holler.

[00:38:22] And there was a sign that says, GPS is wrong.

[00:38:25] Wrong.

[00:38:26] Wrong.

[00:38:26] The government doesn't write that.

[00:38:28] Come on now.

[00:38:30] Some hillbilly got tired of truckers cutting through there.

[00:38:32] And I don't blame them.

[00:38:33] And they got kids running through the holler just like barefoot and just chomping on a stick.

[00:38:37] And they don't need goddamn semis coming through.

[00:38:40] I get it.

[00:38:41] Anyway.

[00:38:42] GPS.

[00:38:43] Wrong.

[00:38:44] Wrong.

[00:38:44] And Vic's like, that's not real.

[00:38:46] That can't be real.

[00:38:47] I said, no, that's not even proper English.

[00:38:49] Somebody.

[00:38:50] But the sign looked perfectly like a stop.

[00:38:52] It was very.

[00:38:53] They spent money.

[00:38:53] I mean, it looked real.

[00:38:55] Yeah.

[00:38:55] I'm like, plus it doesn't have reflectors on it.

[00:38:58] So I know it's not real.

[00:39:01] Yeah.

[00:39:02] If you pass the online audition, you will then be invited to New York for a formal audition process.

[00:39:11] Yep.

[00:39:12] And her brother David died.

[00:39:13] David was the second oldest of the 11 part and kids.

[00:39:16] His living brothers and sisters.

[00:39:17] There's 11 of them?

[00:39:18] Yeah.

[00:39:19] Yep.

[00:39:20] There's a lot left, though.

[00:39:22] Willa Dean, Coy, Dolly, Robert Jr., Stella, Cassie, Frida, Rachel, and three siblings.

[00:39:29] Oh, no.

[00:39:30] Three have already died.

[00:39:30] Randy, Larry, and Floyd.

[00:39:33] There you go.

[00:39:33] That's the queen news.

[00:39:34] Update!

[00:39:38] Oh, God.

[00:39:40] Oh, Missouri.

[00:39:42] Little update from my home state.

[00:39:44] Last week, we talked about Buc-ee's being ripped off and cloned in Mexico called Luckies with a raccoon.

[00:39:51] Well, Buc-ee's has sued a Missouri liquor store, Duckies, over a trade market.

[00:39:57] Go on.

[00:39:58] God.

[00:39:58] God.

[00:39:59] Now, look.

[00:40:00] I've been in probably every small town in Missouri.

[00:40:03] I've never seen a Duckies.

[00:40:06] It's spelled the same way.

[00:40:08] Yeah, it's spelled the same way.

[00:40:09] They don't have the dash after the C, and they use the K.

[00:40:12] They didn't do D-U-C, like duckies.

[00:40:14] They use the K.

[00:40:15] Okay.

[00:40:18] They have the same kind of logo.

[00:40:21] They have hoodies, koozies, beanies.

[00:40:25] Yeah.

[00:40:26] But I'm trying to figure it out.

[00:40:27] I didn't see where this one.

[00:40:29] Can you go?

[00:40:30] Where is...

[00:40:30] I don't know.

[00:40:31] Google where is Duckies in Missouri.

[00:40:33] I bet it's down by me somewhere.

[00:40:35] That's where all suspicious things happen.

[00:40:39] Is it D-U-K-E-E-S?

[00:40:43] Same spelling.

[00:40:44] Same spelling.

[00:40:45] But they didn't put the dash.

[00:40:48] Duckies.

[00:40:53] You mean Ducky?

[00:40:54] Nope.

[00:40:54] No, I mean Duckies.

[00:40:56] Oh, wait.

[00:40:57] I found it.

[00:40:58] It's in Kimberling City, Missouri.

[00:41:00] Mm-hmm.

[00:41:01] Never heard of it.

[00:41:02] I don't know where that's at.

[00:41:10] 42 degrees there.

[00:41:11] 42 degrees in Kimberling?

[00:41:13] It's by Table Rock.

[00:41:14] Oh, it's by Table Rock.

[00:41:15] That's Branson.

[00:41:15] It's in Branson somewhere then.

[00:41:17] Oh, Kimberling City is where that lady that tried to sell the flipping Graceland live is from.

[00:41:23] Yeah.

[00:41:24] There's a lot of shit going on.

[00:41:24] Wow.

[00:41:25] Kimberling City, you got a lot of fraud going on.

[00:41:27] You're trying to sell Graceland and act like you own it, and then you're creating Duckies?

[00:41:32] 20 minutes from Silver Dollar City.

[00:41:33] 20 minutes from Silver Dollar City, where I used to go as a child.

[00:41:36] I never loved it, though.

[00:41:38] Yeah, it had some rides, but it was mostly like a, let's go back to how pioneer people lived.

[00:41:44] There'd be like a leather worker guy making a belt.

[00:41:47] You know, if I'm 10, I don't give a shit where a belt came from.

[00:41:50] People churning cream to make butter, teaching you how to do that.

[00:41:54] I'm like, yeah, we don't need to do that anymore.

[00:41:55] No.

[00:41:56] No, no, no, no.

[00:41:57] But they had some good rides, but I think they've done more things to Silver Dollar City.

[00:42:02] They must have since I was a kid.

[00:42:04] What a shitty shit happening.

[00:42:06] It's been a very long time.

[00:42:08] This is fascinating.

[00:42:10] Update.

[00:42:11] Update.

[00:42:12] Notre Dame, or if you'd like to be like a TV announcer, Notre Dame.

[00:42:18] Or like you're in French class, Notre Dame.

[00:42:21] Has reopened, which makes me so, so, so, so, so happy.

[00:42:24] I can't think of a more beautiful building in the world that I've ever seen.

[00:42:27] Ever.

[00:42:27] Ever, ever, ever.

[00:42:28] It's amazing.

[00:42:29] And to watch it on fire that day was the saddest thing I've ever seen.

[00:42:33] Terrible.

[00:42:33] Well, it's reopened.

[00:42:35] All the bigwigs got to go.

[00:42:38] Trumpasaurus was there.

[00:42:41] President Trumpasaurus.

[00:42:42] Jill Biden, they sat, I forget who was in between them.

[00:42:46] Macron.

[00:42:47] Oh, right.

[00:42:48] Macron.

[00:42:48] Emmanuel.

[00:42:49] Emmanuel Macron with his cougar wife.

[00:42:51] Rawr!

[00:42:52] Rawr!

[00:42:53] Rawr!

[00:42:58] Rawr!

[00:42:59] Emmanuel is a hottie.

[00:43:01] But he's, he's a shoddy though.

[00:43:03] Doesn't matter.

[00:43:03] He's a little French guy.

[00:43:04] He's hot.

[00:43:05] Yeah.

[00:43:06] He is cute.

[00:43:07] Justin Trudeau is better looking though.

[00:43:08] Smoking hot.

[00:43:09] If we're going to be total sexist and just go through them all.

[00:43:12] Why not?

[00:43:13] He's the hottest.

[00:43:14] Justin, by a million.

[00:43:16] A million.

[00:43:18] And he knows it.

[00:43:19] Um, update.

[00:43:21] So Notre Dame has opened.

[00:43:23] Get the, get a load of this.

[00:43:24] I had no idea.

[00:43:25] Selma Hayek, who I loved in Frida.

[00:43:29] Oh, it was the greatest performance ever.

[00:43:31] Um, uh, she attends the reopening with French billionaire husband.

[00:43:38] He donated over $113 million to restore it.

[00:43:42] Yes.

[00:43:44] He is French fashion magnet, Francois Henri Pinot.

[00:43:48] Wonderful.

[00:43:49] Yeah.

[00:43:50] Good pronunciation.

[00:43:50] So much better than your Japanese.

[00:43:51] It's so much better than my English.

[00:43:53] Cause I had to pay attention to the Kathleen.

[00:43:55] How do we, well you had to take a fake name in French class.

[00:43:57] I don't, I don't remember.

[00:43:59] Your name?

[00:44:00] You don't remember?

[00:44:00] No.

[00:44:01] Probably Marie.

[00:44:02] I think it was Marie Paul.

[00:44:04] Marie.

[00:44:04] Marie Paul.

[00:44:05] I wanted it to be two names just to fuck with people.

[00:44:08] Anyway, Francois Henri Pinot donated over $113 million to restore Notre Dame Cathedral

[00:44:13] after it was ravaged by a fire in 2019.

[00:44:15] The power couple was one of the more than 1,500 guests, including Jill Biden,

[00:44:21] president-elect Donald Trump.

[00:44:22] Um, I, they didn't show many other world leaders.

[00:44:27] I don't know.

[00:44:27] Did the Pope show up?

[00:44:28] Pinot's father, Francois.

[00:44:31] The Pope did not show up.

[00:44:32] The Pope has a giant bruise on his chin.

[00:44:34] He clearly fell somewhere.

[00:44:36] He's 87.

[00:44:37] Mitch McConnell also fell at lunch and broke his wrist and cut his face.

[00:44:41] Like, I mean.

[00:44:42] Yep.

[00:44:43] A lot of old people falling.

[00:44:44] Anyway, Pinot's father, Francois, who has a net worth over $21 billion,

[00:44:51] founded the $22 billion French luxury group Caring,

[00:44:56] which owns brands as Yves Saint Laurent, Alexander McQueen, and Gucci.

[00:45:01] Wow.

[00:45:01] Now Pinot, who has a net worth of $7 billion, runs the company,

[00:45:05] which also owns the auction house Christie's.

[00:45:08] Shut up.

[00:45:09] Look at Selma Hayek.

[00:45:10] Wow.

[00:45:11] With all the talent in the world.

[00:45:12] And then still marrying money up.

[00:45:15] Money up.

[00:45:16] The Pinals, one of the three richest families in France,

[00:45:21] pledged their donation along with the other two families

[00:45:23] who own LVMH Group and L'Oreal.

[00:45:27] But we already talked about that lady.

[00:45:28] That's a mic drop.

[00:45:29] That is a mic drop.

[00:45:30] Boom.

[00:45:31] But if you have $21 billion, you could have given more than $113 million.

[00:45:35] Say thank you.

[00:45:36] We can say thank you and walk on.

[00:45:37] But I would have been like, come on.

[00:45:39] Can I get $115?

[00:45:40] I'll say it.

[00:45:41] Come on.

[00:45:44] We would say.

[00:45:45] Merci.

[00:45:46] Merci.

[00:45:49] Yeah.

[00:45:50] Hayek, 58 years old, a native of Mexico, and Pinot met in 2006 at a gallo

[00:45:57] at the Palazzo Grassi in Venice, Italy.

[00:46:01] That's just a wonderful.

[00:46:02] Who knew?

[00:46:03] That's fantastic.

[00:46:04] Good for you, Selma.

[00:46:05] That's a miracle.

[00:46:05] They got married in 2009.

[00:46:08] They have a 17-year-old daughter, Valentina Paloma.

[00:46:11] Who also has all the money.

[00:46:14] She never signed a prenup when they got hitched once in a Paris City Hall ceremony in Paris,

[00:46:20] and then a star-studded Suawei in Venice where she wore a $434,000 Balenciaga gown.

[00:46:29] Good for you.

[00:46:30] Good girl.

[00:46:31] Update.

[00:46:34] We have a lot.

[00:46:35] We have some trouble here.

[00:46:38] Trouble.

[00:46:39] Trouble for me because I just learned how to do things on TikTok.

[00:46:43] Uh-oh.

[00:46:43] The appeals court upholds the TikTok ban, declining to block the law that would force the sale,

[00:46:48] and we got a clock ticking on this for January.

[00:46:51] They are not getting it.

[00:46:52] Well, I don't think they're going to ban TikTok, but the children will uprise.

[00:46:58] Yes.

[00:46:58] Yes.

[00:46:59] The children will come for you, and I will be with them.

[00:47:03] I'll be their cash leader.

[00:47:04] I'll finance it.

[00:47:06] Yeah.

[00:47:09] If the Chinese parent company doesn't sell its stake in the app,

[00:47:12] dealing another setback to the widely popular video sharing service in its battle with the federal government,

[00:47:18] this is an appeals court.

[00:47:20] Now, they can still go to the Supreme Court.

[00:47:21] They haven't done that yet.

[00:47:23] Yeah.

[00:47:24] January 19th.

[00:47:26] Oh.

[00:47:27] Right.

[00:47:28] Huh.

[00:47:28] Are we experiencing our last month of TikTok on Earth?

[00:47:31] No.

[00:47:31] I don't think so either, but they're going to have to go to the Supreme Court,

[00:47:34] and then Donald's going to have to make some calls because he's in favor of it.

[00:47:38] TikTok.

[00:47:41] I don't know.

[00:47:42] They're so mad that the Chinese own it.

[00:47:45] I mean, I do jokes about it in my act.

[00:47:47] What is in my phone that you give a shit about?

[00:47:51] Here's what I'm going to say.

[00:47:53] Matter of fact, not only can you go in my phone,

[00:47:55] if you could answer my emails, that'd be great.

[00:47:57] And if you could somehow figure out how to get Sherry's Berries from Stop Stalking Me and Email,

[00:48:01] that'd be even super, super, duper great.

[00:48:03] I'll help you.

[00:48:04] For Christmas, I'll help you with that.

[00:48:06] Hi, it's Sherry Berries.

[00:48:07] I bought, like, chocolate-covered strawberries.

[00:48:10] It was, like, 15 years ago.

[00:48:12] Why?

[00:48:12] As a present to somebody who did something nice.

[00:48:15] I don't remember why.

[00:48:16] Berries?

[00:48:16] It was a work.

[00:48:18] Chocolate-covered strawberries are great.

[00:48:20] I don't want to plug Sherry's Berries again, but they are good.

[00:48:23] Just saying.

[00:48:23] They are good.

[00:48:25] Always give liquor.

[00:48:27] Well, nah, you don't know if some people drink.

[00:48:30] Okay.

[00:48:31] Nah, it was a work thing.

[00:48:32] I didn't know if they drank or not.

[00:48:33] No, we can't.

[00:48:33] So you can't be.

[00:48:36] Shoot, I'm missing my fig story.

[00:48:38] I'll find it.

[00:48:39] This is crazy.

[00:48:40] Holy shit, they found it.

[00:48:41] We're moving on.

[00:48:47] There's a little glitch in my mic today.

[00:48:48] I don't know why.

[00:48:49] Sorry if that's bothering anyone.

[00:48:51] I can't.

[00:48:51] Okay.

[00:48:52] Largest collection of Roman coins ever found called the most miraculous discovery in the last hundred years.

[00:48:59] Whoa!

[00:48:59] Whoa!

[00:49:03] Builders were stunned when they stumbled across one of the largest hordes of Roman coins ever found in Britain, worth more than $126,000.

[00:49:11] Well, you think it'd be worth more than that?

[00:49:13] Yeah.

[00:49:14] A total of 1,368 Iron Age and Roman coins dating back to the reign of Nero.

[00:49:19] Whoa!

[00:49:20] Everybody's favorite clown were dug up on a building site near Worcester.

[00:49:27] Worcestershire.

[00:49:28] Worcestershire sauce.

[00:49:30] Shire.

[00:49:31] It's always hard to say.

[00:49:32] Worcester.

[00:49:33] In the Midwest, we just call it Worcester.

[00:49:34] Worcester.

[00:49:36] Worcester.

[00:49:43] Worcester.

[00:49:44] Silver denarii.

[00:49:45] Minted in Rome and dating back from the time of the Roman Republic in 157 BC up to Nero's reign between AD 54 and AD 68.

[00:49:56] Nero.

[00:49:57] Always good for a show on the History Channel.

[00:49:59] Yeah.

[00:49:59] So there you go.

[00:50:00] Look at them.

[00:50:01] I think that should be worth a lot more money.

[00:50:03] I don't understand that.

[00:50:04] Okay.

[00:50:06] I lost my Irish fig story.

[00:50:08] I'll find it.

[00:50:08] I may have lost it.

[00:50:10] The fermented fig?

[00:50:11] It's a 2,000-year-old fig.

[00:50:12] Yeah.

[00:50:13] Well, this is crazy.

[00:50:14] Crazy talk.

[00:50:16] Here it is.

[00:50:17] Do people care?

[00:50:18] Well, they're going to have to care for the next minute and 20 seconds while I read this.

[00:50:22] Okay.

[00:50:22] It's crazy.

[00:50:23] It looks like a giant cauliflower.

[00:50:24] Like, who would even know that's a fig?

[00:50:26] I don't even know what a fig...

[00:50:27] How do they know?

[00:50:28] The discovery of a fig dating back 2,000 years during archaeological dig in North Dublin has been described as incredibly rare.

[00:50:36] A charged fragment of fig fruit was uncovered during an excavation on a headline in Droma between so-and-so and so, where there was an important trading post with the Roman Empire.

[00:50:50] Those Romans really roamed around.

[00:50:51] I'll tell you.

[00:50:52] They got everywhere.

[00:50:53] They got everywhere.

[00:50:55] They also have...

[00:50:56] They found a whole bunch of stuff, but I don't understand.

[00:50:58] What does this fig mean?

[00:51:00] Why does this guy know this was a fig?

[00:51:05] It's charring.

[00:51:07] It was charred.

[00:51:10] Fruits like figs and almonds are typically associated with the Roman Empire, but to find them here in Ireland from the Iron Age is a huge revelation.

[00:51:17] This is one of the most exciting finds we've had in years.

[00:51:19] It shows the extent of trade and communication between people during that period.

[00:51:23] At its peak, the Roman Empire controlled vast territories across Europe, Western Asia, and North Africa.

[00:51:28] Trade networks introduced new foods such as herbs, spices, almonds, fruits, grapes, and figs and dates.

[00:51:37] So there you go.

[00:51:38] Super rare.

[00:51:39] Super rare.

[00:51:41] He's got a picture of it.

[00:51:42] We'll put it in the show.

[00:51:43] It's a crazy-looking thing.

[00:51:44] All right, let's move on to news.

[00:51:46] Okay.

[00:51:47] Let's just talk about for a moment, shall we?

[00:51:51] UnitedHealthcare guy.

[00:51:53] Well, there are so many thoughts on the United thing.

[00:51:56] I do think—I don't think we should ever do vigilante justice.

[00:52:01] I know you do.

[00:52:03] You agree with me, right?

[00:52:05] Ultimate death penalty.

[00:52:06] It's the ultimate death penalty because there's no jury or judge or nothing, right?

[00:52:09] Yeah.

[00:52:09] But I haven't read a ton about—I know he's a rich kid from Baltimore, private schools, blah, blah, blah.

[00:52:16] That's shocking.

[00:52:18] Well, but then apparently he had some surgery and is in all kinds of pain.

[00:52:21] Here's what I do know.

[00:52:23] Everybody hates UnitedHealth.

[00:52:24] Yeah.

[00:52:25] And you can put me on that list, too.

[00:52:27] Yeah.

[00:52:27] Because for a serious—for a moment—and if you guys want to send me insurance—this is what I do like.

[00:52:31] Huh.

[00:52:32] Okay.

[00:52:33] I'll be back up for a minute.

[00:52:34] I hate UnitedHealthcare, and I will explain why.

[00:52:36] Um, but Blue Cross, Blue Anthem, Blue Cross, whatever they call themselves these days, the day that this happened—

[00:52:46] Uh-huh.

[00:52:46] And they found the deny—the bullets that had the message about deny and depose and delay—

[00:52:51] Yeah.

[00:52:52] Put out a thing saying, oh, well, from here in New York, Connecticut, and Missouri—I don't know why they just picked us three—

[00:52:59] Um, we won't pay for your anesthesia if it goes over during the surgery.

[00:53:04] It's crazy.

[00:53:06] It's a piece of paper that says, if my colonoscopy, um, takes longer than—

[00:53:11] 28.

[00:53:12] —what it's allotted, I have to pay for that anesthesiologist just to stay and to keep giving it—

[00:53:18] because there are—they're just going to turn it off.

[00:53:20] Right.

[00:53:20] And then, what then?

[00:53:22] I wake up and beat the shit out of everybody?

[00:53:24] Right.

[00:53:25] You get a hole.

[00:53:26] Well, you're going to be in pain.

[00:53:27] Yeah.

[00:53:28] I mean, you wake up halfway through a surgery.

[00:53:30] That's not going to be fun for anybody.

[00:53:31] Not the person on the table, not the people—doctors, nobody.

[00:53:34] No.

[00:53:34] Nobody.

[00:53:34] Not fun.

[00:53:34] But they face so much backlash after announcing that, that they've now decided maybe they won't

[00:53:42] do that.

[00:53:42] So I'm thinking, maybe public pressure—so if you guys want to send me an insurance story

[00:53:47] once a week, I'll read it.

[00:53:48] Maybe public pressure can work.

[00:53:50] I've never seen an insurance company reverse a decision like that.

[00:53:53] Yeah.

[00:53:53] But they just did it because everybody—it was—I mean, not only is it ridiculous, it

[00:53:59] was funny, too, because people were posting funny memes and all this shit.

[00:54:03] So UnitedHealthcare.

[00:54:05] Now—

[00:54:05] Your company is—

[00:54:07] This is—yes.

[00:54:08] So far, Cigna, I have not had a problem with.

[00:54:11] That's—they're fine.

[00:54:12] Thank you for the insurance.

[00:54:13] So far, so good.

[00:54:14] I appreciate it.

[00:54:23] You could do that.

[00:54:24] Your dad had it?

[00:54:26] He had United because he—when he was an appellate court judge, he was a state of Missouri, and

[00:54:30] that's what they gave you.

[00:54:31] And so it just continued.

[00:54:33] Whatever.

[00:54:34] They did good on the emergency situation.

[00:54:37] But for long-term care or what are we going to do, rehab care and all this shit, they denied

[00:54:42] every single claim.

[00:54:43] And then the girls that worked at the place—I shouldn't say girls, young women—said, look,

[00:54:48] they're going to deny everything.

[00:54:49] You have to just keep doing it.

[00:54:50] It's like a game that everyone knows.

[00:54:52] And now there's a lawsuit against UnitedHealth that they were using AI to deny those claims.

[00:54:57] They're not even reading them.

[00:54:59] Wow.

[00:54:59] I mean—and I thought, you know what?

[00:55:04] We—there's seven of us kids.

[00:55:05] My mom's here.

[00:55:07] We still have their money.

[00:55:09] Like, we have enough money that—well, first of all, she was a nurse.

[00:55:14] Second of all, the women that worked at the place told us all this.

[00:55:17] But, like, if you didn't know that, you'd get denied and go, shit.

[00:55:21] I have to figure it out.

[00:55:22] And then we said, what happens?

[00:55:23] Yeah.

[00:55:24] Like, what—so we could afford—while all this is going on, too, somebody's got to pay

[00:55:28] the bill.

[00:55:28] So we were paying this week, next week, whatever.

[00:55:31] Yep.

[00:55:31] And it's not cheap.

[00:55:33] $2,500 a week plus therapy.

[00:55:34] That's an extra $250 every bump.

[00:55:36] Well, there's a shit ton of people who cannot afford that.

[00:55:39] Right.

[00:55:39] My parents are lucky.

[00:55:40] All seven of us have a job.

[00:55:42] All seven of us do well.

[00:55:44] We can do this.

[00:55:45] But he had been paying into UnitedHealth.

[00:55:47] We should at least try.

[00:55:48] Right.

[00:55:49] But for the people that don't have the money—so I said, what would have happened to him if

[00:55:52] we didn't—there was a wonderful lady who worked at the place, Lisa, from Chicago.

[00:55:56] She goes, well, he'd have to go home.

[00:55:59] I go, oh.

[00:56:00] So you would just tell people—she goes, well, I don't want to say, you know.

[00:56:04] Yeah.

[00:56:05] But yeah.

[00:56:06] So then you go home, and let's say you're heading towards hospice.

[00:56:10] You're going to go home and die in pain because you're not getting any meds from the hospice

[00:56:13] person who's your little morphine angel.

[00:56:16] That's what's going on there.

[00:56:19] And UnitedHealthcare doesn't care.

[00:56:21] So everybody hates them.

[00:56:23] That's clear.

[00:56:24] I didn't see anybody online, and I read tons of them.

[00:56:27] I didn't see anybody applauding it.

[00:56:29] Does that mean this guy should walk up and kill his men?

[00:56:31] No.

[00:56:31] No.

[00:56:32] No, I don't agree with that.

[00:56:33] As much as you—I mean, when they would deny—and it took them like fucking five days.

[00:56:39] Yeah.

[00:56:40] Or—and this is time of the essence situation.

[00:56:43] We don't have lollygagging time here.

[00:56:46] Right.

[00:56:47] Well, he got caught at a McDonald's, and the Yelp comments about McDonald's being snitches

[00:56:55] are some of the funniest things I've ever read.

[00:56:57] And then Burger King tweeted out, Burger King don't snitch.

[00:57:03] I don't understand why anyone is at McDonald's Taco Bell's into it.

[00:57:07] Like, why—just a couple weeks ago, McDonald's hamburgers or whichever, a quarter pound, one

[00:57:13] of them, killed like four people and sent 80 to a hospital.

[00:57:15] I don't even understand why anyone's at a McDonald's right now.

[00:57:18] At least give them a few months—

[00:57:20] I love it.

[00:57:21] Well, this guy loved the hash browns.

[00:57:23] I do like them.

[00:57:24] But I'm not risking it.

[00:57:25] There you go.

[00:57:27] And then they said he had a fake ID.

[00:57:29] But I was like, why would you need an ID at McDonald's?

[00:57:32] But that's what he presented to the cops.

[00:57:34] You know some old person.

[00:57:35] I'll bet you $100 million is—because old people go to McDonald's for breakfast.

[00:57:40] They like to sit there with their coffee.

[00:57:41] My mom does it.

[00:57:43] And then they talk about people, and they gossip.

[00:57:45] And I bet you they were like, that's him.

[00:57:48] They probably had a hard paper.

[00:57:50] They probably had a hard paper what?

[00:57:52] Like a piece of paper.

[00:57:53] A paper.

[00:57:54] Oh, yeah.

[00:57:54] They probably had an actual newspaper.

[00:57:56] Yeah.

[00:57:56] Right.

[00:57:56] You say today, he's on the—there he is.

[00:57:58] Mm-hmm.

[00:58:00] The Altoona Daily!

[00:58:01] I made that up.

[00:58:02] It is Altoona, though.

[00:58:04] He had a mask on.

[00:58:06] He had a mask on for a lot of it.

[00:58:09] Apparently, he had some surgeries and was in a lot of pain.

[00:58:11] I don't really know all of his motives.

[00:58:13] And then he had a manifesto.

[00:58:14] Anytime I hear manifesto, I'm like, wah-wah-wah.

[00:58:18] But I think it made everybody pay attention to insurance companies denying everything.

[00:58:23] Yeah.

[00:58:24] Deny, deny, deny.

[00:58:24] I said, how many times are they going to deny this?

[00:58:26] And we'll—is this stupid?

[00:58:28] She goes, they're hoping to wear you out.

[00:58:29] This is what a lady who works at the rehab facility told me.

[00:58:34] She goes, they want to wear you out.

[00:58:36] And then that gets my Irish up.

[00:58:37] I'm like, well, then I'm not giving up.

[00:58:40] If you would have just said, eh, they're going to say no, no matter what.

[00:58:42] I wouldn't have went, meh.

[00:58:43] But then sometimes they do pay.

[00:58:45] We never got to that spot.

[00:58:47] I bet we were denied, oh, I don't know, six times.

[00:58:54] Right?

[00:58:55] That's horrible.

[00:58:55] And there was nothing to deny.

[00:58:57] I mean, it's not like we were making shit up.

[00:59:00] No.

[00:59:00] Yeah.

[00:59:01] That's terrible.

[00:59:02] So, I don't know.

[00:59:05] I know a lot of people were applauding it.

[00:59:07] But it's also people get to this point because no one's paying attention.

[00:59:11] Right.

[00:59:12] And no one will do anything about it because every politician walking around is taking money from these people.

[00:59:17] And then they got to back them.

[00:59:18] And this is why we need campaign contribution limits.

[00:59:22] And let's get back to that.

[00:59:23] Right.

[00:59:24] Right?

[00:59:24] Campaign finance.

[00:59:24] But this isn't a hard show, so we're going to move on.

[00:59:27] No.

[00:59:27] The AI thing is very disturbing, though.

[00:59:30] Yes.

[00:59:31] Very, very disturbing.

[00:59:33] All right.

[00:59:35] Good news for my Bitcoin friends.

[00:59:37] Yay!

[00:59:37] Virgin Voyages is now accepting Bitcoin for cruise payments.

[00:59:41] Yay!

[00:59:41] Now, you'll never see me on a cruise unless I've been kidnapped.

[00:59:44] But good for Virgin and good for the Bitcoin.

[00:59:47] And then, you know, people go, isn't it all dark money?

[00:59:50] Probably.

[00:59:50] I have no idea.

[00:59:52] I put a bet on it like a casino bet years ago.

[00:59:54] And I'm not explaining it to drunk old people anymore who then tell me I'm full of shit.

[00:59:57] Well, this is a great conversation.

[00:59:59] You asked me a question.

[01:00:00] I answered it.

[01:00:01] And then you told me I'm drunk and full of shit.

[01:00:02] Like, really, you're drunk and full of shit.

[01:00:05] You're just climbing.

[01:00:07] Mine's climbing.

[01:00:09] Speaking of Paris, as we were.

[01:00:12] This just blows my mind.

[01:00:14] A woman who sneaked onto a Paris flight bypassed security checkpoints by jumping into different security lines.

[01:00:20] This is what TSA is saying.

[01:00:22] Hmm.

[01:00:23] Okay.

[01:00:24] I have clear, which is you have to give them your.

[01:00:29] They take a picture of your eyes.

[01:00:30] As the machine always says, I'm going to take a picture of your eyes.

[01:00:34] I'm like, did they hire Arnold Schwarzenegger to do this announcement?

[01:00:37] And then there's another one that says, I'm going to take a picture of your eyes.

[01:00:41] It's real sexy.

[01:00:42] Right.

[01:00:42] And I like to get Arnold though.

[01:00:44] I'm going to take a picture of your eyes.

[01:00:46] But I'm too short usually for that one.

[01:00:48] So I go finger.

[01:00:49] But anyway, I have clear.

[01:00:50] I have TSA pre-check.

[01:00:51] I have everything you can pay for, everything you can do because I have to do it every single week of my life.

[01:00:55] And half the time it don't work.

[01:00:58] And then they keep changing the thing.

[01:01:00] You should see what they have in store for you at LAX if you're going to use clear in the Delta area.

[01:01:04] Pah.

[01:01:05] Katie, bar the door, prepare for almost physical fighting.

[01:01:09] Oh my gosh.

[01:01:10] Almost.

[01:01:10] The lines are too.

[01:01:12] I can't explain it.

[01:01:13] This lady though, she's a Russian.

[01:01:17] When I think all this crap, I've given you fingerprints.

[01:01:21] All these things my father would have said, don't ever give anyone.

[01:01:23] I did it.

[01:01:24] I didn't even tell my dad.

[01:01:25] My everything.

[01:01:28] Probably DNA.

[01:01:29] That's where I'd stop.

[01:01:31] Just because I might want to commit a crime when I'm old.

[01:01:33] I don't need to be in a DNA base.

[01:01:35] Right.

[01:01:36] Right.

[01:01:36] Cheek swab.

[01:01:37] I mean, shit.

[01:01:37] That will come.

[01:01:39] And then I'll just have to get to the airport four hours earlier and stand in the regular line because I'm not doing that.

[01:01:44] A Russian woman who stowed away on a flight from New York was able to sneak through security after she went through the lane reserve for airline flight crews.

[01:01:55] I've seen a picture of this woman.

[01:01:56] She is not dressed like a flight crew person.

[01:01:59] No.

[01:01:59] At all.

[01:02:00] No.

[01:02:00] Nobody noticed?

[01:02:02] No.

[01:02:03] A TSA spokesperson says the 57 woman first bypassed an airport terminal employee in charge of the line for known crew member checkpoint at JFK's International Terminal 4 main checkpoint.

[01:02:14] She then joined the line for standard TSA screening.

[01:02:17] It was at that point the woman then bypassed stations where her ID and boarding pass would have been checked.

[01:02:22] What do you mean you bypassed them?

[01:02:25] I mean, I understand what the word bypass means, but nobody noticed?

[01:02:30] No.

[01:02:32] No.

[01:02:33] She was able to elude security checks and make her way onto the flight.

[01:02:36] See, this is where crazy people boggle my mind because I would be so terrified.

[01:02:42] Well, I'd be terrified of all of it because I'm a rule follower.

[01:02:45] Too much Catholic school.

[01:02:46] I can't.

[01:02:47] This is breaking every rule.

[01:02:48] All of them.

[01:02:49] But also, let's say you have the guts to do what she did and you get to the gate area.

[01:02:54] How do I know there's going to be a seat?

[01:02:56] Right.

[01:02:57] And how do I know what seat I sit in isn't already spoken for?

[01:03:01] Then that person comes up with the boarding pass.

[01:03:03] Then, as I've seen happen a million times on flight when two people got booked in the same seat, the flight attendant comes over and says,

[01:03:09] hey, ma'am, let me see your boarding pass and you don't have one.

[01:03:12] Well, that never happened.

[01:03:14] She made it to Paris.

[01:03:15] True.

[01:03:16] So, whoever, she just lucked out.

[01:03:20] I mean, yeah, you could go online and look at a seat map.

[01:03:24] That's helpful.

[01:03:26] And say, look, this middle seat in the back is totally empty.

[01:03:30] Then act really confident.

[01:03:33] I would start crying at my own behavior on the way to the airport.

[01:03:37] Like, I would just go, I can't do this.

[01:03:39] This is crazy.

[01:03:40] This is stupid.

[01:03:43] Once the woman proceeded to the gate, she placed herself in the middle of what appeared to be a family traveling together.

[01:03:48] And that family didn't think that was weird?

[01:03:49] Yeah, it's strange.

[01:03:50] Yeah.

[01:03:51] Hey, who's the 57-year-old crazy legs with the Russian accent?

[01:03:54] Right.

[01:03:55] We're from Baltimore?

[01:03:57] Who's that lady?

[01:03:59] Arrow.

[01:03:59] Arrow.

[01:04:00] They think that a contributing factor may have been the massive holiday crowds, weekend crowds.

[01:04:05] Well, LAX, it's so just close together and claustrophobic.

[01:04:11] I could see somebody weaseling their way through.

[01:04:15] It's too fucking confusing.

[01:04:17] And then they're like, oh, if you have TSA, there's some lady with a paddle.

[01:04:21] Like, we're on a cruise ship.

[01:04:22] She's got a paddle.

[01:04:23] Clear.

[01:04:24] Clear.

[01:04:24] What is this?

[01:04:26] It's 2024, guys.

[01:04:27] Let's get some lanes going on and go, this is clear.

[01:04:30] This is TSA pre-check.

[01:04:31] And then they have TSA with clear.

[01:04:34] Clear with TSA.

[01:04:35] Who has clear and not TSA pre-check?

[01:04:39] Nobody.

[01:04:40] I guess somebody.

[01:04:41] Because there's a line for it.

[01:04:43] But shit, the clear, I think, costs more than...

[01:04:46] I don't remember what I paid.

[01:04:49] It's free with Delta?

[01:04:51] Well, yeah.

[01:04:53] I mean, I have to go to these meetings and say I haven't committed crimes.

[01:04:56] I have to attend meetings.

[01:04:57] You have to...

[01:04:58] TSA, you have to attend a meeting in person.

[01:05:00] Shut up.

[01:05:00] I'm serious.

[01:05:01] What?

[01:05:02] Yes, I had to go to LAX.

[01:05:03] And you have to go to the TSA office and then swear that you haven't committed crimes.

[01:05:07] They take your fingerprints.

[01:05:08] It's a thing.

[01:05:09] It's like being booked.

[01:05:09] I had so much fun that day.

[01:05:11] Yeah.

[01:05:12] I had so much fun because he was like, have you committed any crimes in the last 10 years?

[01:05:16] I go, do I look like I'm capable?

[01:05:18] Oh, my God.

[01:05:19] But I just kept answering with nonsense.

[01:05:21] But finally, he laughed.

[01:05:22] I'm like, dude, you've got all my records.

[01:05:24] I don't...

[01:05:25] I'm the daughter of a lawyer.

[01:05:27] I know you're not asking any question.

[01:05:28] You already know the goddamn answer to.

[01:05:30] So let's stop this play.

[01:05:32] Here's my left finger.

[01:05:34] Here, you can have that.

[01:05:35] No, I'll give you my right one.

[01:05:36] I'm left-handed.

[01:05:37] Here's my right middle finger.

[01:05:39] Here.

[01:05:40] Now, here's what's weird.

[01:05:42] She flew all the way to Paris.

[01:05:44] And then when they landed, they arrested her.

[01:05:47] How did they know after the flight took off, Crazy Legs is a stowaway?

[01:05:56] Because of the seat count.

[01:05:57] The seat count?

[01:05:58] We have to do it.

[01:05:59] It's a big fight.

[01:05:59] Yeah, but why didn't they do that seat count before we took off?

[01:06:02] Southwest does.

[01:06:03] I think somebody said we have X amount of people.

[01:06:06] Maybe she was in the bathroom.

[01:06:07] The state agents manifested.

[01:06:11] So they had taken off and they should have landed.

[01:06:16] They should have landed before they left America.

[01:06:18] They shouldn't have taken off.

[01:06:20] Because they would assume it's a terrorist.

[01:06:22] Oh, they'd assume she was a terrorist.

[01:06:24] I would assume she was crazy.

[01:06:26] I don't think of 57-year-old women...

[01:06:29] I'm not saying they're not terrorists,

[01:06:30] but it's not often that you see that on the news.

[01:06:33] I would think...

[01:06:34] And the way she's dressed, I just go cray-cray.

[01:06:38] Just cray-cray.

[01:06:39] Okay.

[01:06:42] A man who was on the plane Saturday told CNN

[01:06:44] that the woman was sitting across from him on the aisle

[01:06:46] and his family.

[01:06:47] She kept saying,

[01:06:47] I do not want to go back to USA.

[01:06:49] This is my Russian accent.

[01:06:51] Only a judge can make me go back to USA.

[01:06:53] Oh, okay.

[01:06:53] Right.

[01:06:55] The airline is conducting an exhaustive investigation

[01:06:59] of what may have occurred.

[01:07:01] Okay, I can tell you from the Nashville airport,

[01:07:04] I'm not the transportation secretary.

[01:07:07] Pete Buttigieg is.

[01:07:08] And I don't really think when it comes to the airport,

[01:07:10] he's doing a good job.

[01:07:11] Everybody thinks he's really smart.

[01:07:12] He's very smart.

[01:07:13] He's very well-spoken, blah, blah, blah.

[01:07:14] I can look.

[01:07:16] There's one main thing at Nashville now.

[01:07:18] Everybody goes to the same main thing,

[01:07:20] which sucks because I liked it

[01:07:21] when you had your own little areas.

[01:07:23] But whatever.

[01:07:24] It is such a mess that it's like,

[01:07:28] it would be like walking in to your kid's bedroom

[01:07:31] and going, clean this shit up.

[01:07:33] Yes.

[01:07:34] Start with the floor.

[01:07:35] Yeah.

[01:07:35] And I would go in and go,

[01:07:36] clean this mess up, Nashville.

[01:07:38] Start here.

[01:07:39] We have two lanes down there that aren't ever open.

[01:07:41] Like security deals.

[01:07:43] Right.

[01:07:43] Like with the machines.

[01:07:44] Fine.

[01:07:45] Those are now for clear people.

[01:07:47] Right.

[01:07:47] We're going to organize this.

[01:07:49] It's just chaos.

[01:07:51] Ridiculous.

[01:07:52] But anyway, she did it.

[01:07:54] Go for you.

[01:07:55] Go for you.

[01:07:57] Go for you, lady.

[01:07:58] Go for you.

[01:07:59] Where is she now, Paris?

[01:08:01] She's supposed to have been flown back to the United States.

[01:08:04] I don't know.

[01:08:04] And then Delta said they wouldn't fly her.

[01:08:06] Delta said they're not going to fly her.

[01:08:07] Yes, you are, Delta.

[01:08:08] Oh, yes, you are.

[01:08:09] Wait, wait, wait till you get a call from the United States.

[01:08:11] Yes, you are, Delta.

[01:08:12] You're going to bring that little nut child back here.

[01:08:17] Speaking of airlines,

[01:08:18] I have two more airline announcements for you travelers.

[01:08:21] Air Canada.

[01:08:22] This is your people.

[01:08:23] Paddles.

[01:08:25] What about my friend Jan Arden?

[01:08:27] She flies on Air Canada.

[01:08:30] They're going to start charging you for carry-on bags.

[01:08:34] What?

[01:08:35] The new policy begins January 3rd.

[01:08:38] President.

[01:08:38] Yeah.

[01:08:39] Uh-huh.

[01:08:42] Yeah.

[01:08:43] That's terrible.

[01:08:44] Well, what if you already paid to check?

[01:08:45] On January 21st,

[01:08:47] the airline will also charge low fare flyers

[01:08:49] for changing their seats automatically assigned to check-in.

[01:08:52] Oh, God, they're charging you for that.

[01:08:55] Air Canada's carry-on policies

[01:08:57] following the footsteps of budget air carriers

[01:08:59] that charge an additional cost for carry-on bags larger.

[01:09:02] Isn't Air Canada owned by the government?

[01:09:05] Partially?

[01:09:06] Everything in Canada is partially.

[01:09:07] Partially owned by the government?

[01:09:09] Yeah.

[01:09:09] Well, then Justin needs to step in here.

[01:09:11] Justin's in trouble.

[01:09:14] Frontier Airlines has faced criticism

[01:09:16] for incentivizing gate agents

[01:09:18] to catch customers

[01:09:19] as tempting to smuggle carry-on baggage

[01:09:21] and evading fees.

[01:09:22] Although CEO Barry Bifle

[01:09:24] doubled down on his policy last week.

[01:09:26] These are shoplifters.

[01:09:27] These are the people stealing.

[01:09:29] It's not equitable to everyone who follows the rules.

[01:09:31] Oh, yeah, but you're forgetting your rule is dumb,

[01:09:33] Barry Bifle.

[01:09:34] Right.

[01:09:35] Jeez, pinching every penny.

[01:09:37] Why not just add an extra 10 bucks

[01:09:39] to just add it all?

[01:09:42] Just go onto the ticket and don't tell people.

[01:09:44] No one's traveling with no luggage.

[01:09:45] Right.

[01:09:46] Nobody.

[01:09:46] Whenever I see somebody in an airport

[01:09:49] with just a pillow,

[01:09:50] I think they're either the richest person

[01:09:53] I've ever seen

[01:09:53] or the poorest person I've ever seen.

[01:09:55] Or they're going home.

[01:09:56] But there's nothing in between.

[01:09:57] Or they're crazy

[01:09:58] and they've been sent home.

[01:10:00] Yeah.

[01:10:00] Or someone has beckoned them home

[01:10:02] and they were like,

[01:10:03] well, I guess I gotta go.

[01:10:04] Sometimes my friend Ron White

[01:10:06] in an airport looks homeless.

[01:10:08] Yes.

[01:10:08] He's just got his man purse.

[01:10:10] And a dog.

[01:10:10] And a dog.

[01:10:11] Nothing else.

[01:10:12] No luggage.

[01:10:13] No nothing.

[01:10:13] And I'm like,

[01:10:14] where's your stuff?

[01:10:15] Right.

[01:10:16] And he's like,

[01:10:17] it'll be there when I get there, Maddie.

[01:10:19] Right.

[01:10:19] I got a shirt there

[01:10:20] and a shirt here.

[01:10:22] Okay.

[01:10:22] A shirt.

[01:10:24] So many shirts.

[01:10:28] So Frontier Airlines,

[01:10:29] they're going to offer

[01:10:30] a first class now

[01:10:31] if you're interested.

[01:10:32] Oh, I'm sure it's going to be great.

[01:10:33] Well, you know,

[01:10:35] here's what I've,

[01:10:36] I used to fly them a lot

[01:10:37] out west

[01:10:38] because they're good

[01:10:39] in Denver

[01:10:40] and all that.

[01:10:41] And if you have to go to,

[01:10:42] I like the planes

[01:10:44] because every,

[01:10:44] every tail wing

[01:10:46] has a different animal on it

[01:10:48] and I get excited

[01:10:49] to see what animal

[01:10:50] I'm flying with,

[01:10:51] whether it's a wolf

[01:10:51] or a rabbit

[01:10:52] or I know.

[01:10:54] The basics.

[01:10:55] I'm a sucker for that.

[01:10:57] It's the reason I have Geico

[01:10:58] because I like the lizard.

[01:11:00] You have Geico?

[01:11:00] Yeah, I love it.

[01:11:01] It's wonderful.

[01:11:03] Don't even,

[01:11:04] yeah,

[01:11:04] one time I was in car accident,

[01:11:06] took all the pictures,

[01:11:07] set up,

[01:11:07] got a check.

[01:11:08] Well, that's all you need.

[01:11:10] Nobody bitched.

[01:11:11] Very biteful.

[01:11:13] Nah, CEO.

[01:11:15] People are going to start

[01:11:16] getting mad at these CEOs.

[01:11:17] All CEOs.

[01:11:18] That guy,

[01:11:18] that UnitedHealthcare guy

[01:11:19] was making $10 million a year.

[01:11:21] That's not even probably

[01:11:22] counting bonuses.

[01:11:23] And how many people

[01:11:24] went home and had to die in pain

[01:11:26] because of his bullshit?

[01:11:27] Yes.

[01:11:28] Just saying.

[01:11:29] Yep.

[01:11:30] How many people

[01:11:31] are not going to get

[01:11:32] to bring their luggage on

[01:11:33] because of Barry Bifle?

[01:11:34] Now, see,

[01:11:34] one is way worse than the other,

[01:11:36] but I'm just saying.

[01:11:37] It's a bad name.

[01:11:38] Barry Bifle.

[01:11:39] Bifle.

[01:11:39] B-I-F-F-L-E.

[01:11:41] Bifle?

[01:11:41] Bifle?

[01:11:42] Barry Bifle?

[01:11:43] Yeah.

[01:11:44] But he's going to,

[01:11:45] they're charging too.

[01:11:47] I mean,

[01:11:47] it also makes me wonder,

[01:11:49] how much money

[01:11:50] are you guys not making?

[01:11:53] Like,

[01:11:53] how much does your business plan suck

[01:11:55] that you go,

[01:11:57] fuck,

[01:11:57] I don't know.

[01:11:58] Let's charge people with a purse.

[01:12:00] Charge them $30

[01:12:01] to bring their purse on.

[01:12:03] Because they're any,

[01:12:04] $30.

[01:12:04] Yeah,

[01:12:05] why not?

[01:12:05] Anything that doesn't fit

[01:12:06] under the seat,

[01:12:07] but then that also takes

[01:12:07] leg room away from tall people.

[01:12:09] My feet never make it

[01:12:10] to under the seat,

[01:12:10] so I don't know what that's a lot.

[01:12:11] Like,

[01:12:12] I would offer my spot

[01:12:13] to somebody who had long legs

[01:12:14] and go,

[01:12:15] you want me to put your shit over here

[01:12:16] because my legs are never

[01:12:17] going to make it.

[01:12:18] But,

[01:12:19] well,

[01:12:19] I don't usually have anything

[01:12:20] under the seat

[01:12:20] because I have my one rolly bag

[01:12:22] and it goes up top.

[01:12:24] It's very Canadian to go,

[01:12:26] well,

[01:12:26] I always feel bad

[01:12:27] for tall people in planes.

[01:12:28] It's not right.

[01:12:30] And the seats aren't built

[01:12:31] for short people either though.

[01:12:32] My back hits it

[01:12:33] in very weird places.

[01:12:35] Like,

[01:12:35] they should have,

[01:12:35] why don't we get roller seats?

[01:12:37] Like,

[01:12:37] they have,

[01:12:37] you know,

[01:12:38] my feet don't,

[01:12:39] yeah,

[01:12:39] it's a mess.

[01:12:41] Can I borrow your,

[01:12:42] your check bag?

[01:12:46] Yeah,

[01:12:46] sometimes I do that.

[01:12:49] I need a footstep.

[01:12:52] Gwyneth Paltrow's company,

[01:12:53] Goop,

[01:12:54] ends 2024

[01:12:55] with lawsuits

[01:12:56] and layoffs.

[01:12:57] Gwyneth's going down.

[01:12:58] Lawsuits?

[01:12:59] Lawsuits,

[01:12:59] people,

[01:13:00] I don't know.

[01:13:01] I didn't,

[01:13:01] the whole article

[01:13:02] is so boring.

[01:13:03] How many vaginal products

[01:13:05] can you sell

[01:13:05] that are kivetchy?

[01:13:06] And then eventually

[01:13:07] people are like,

[01:13:08] I don't want your weird shit.

[01:13:10] It's a vaginal product.

[01:13:12] Why are you calling it

[01:13:12] a goop?

[01:13:14] It's gross.

[01:13:14] I know.

[01:13:15] There's already

[01:13:16] a product called goop.

[01:13:17] My dad used to use it

[01:13:18] for Google.

[01:13:20] It's like a lubricant.

[01:13:21] It's a lubricant

[01:13:22] for like tools

[01:13:23] and chainsaws.

[01:13:25] And he had a giant towel

[01:13:28] that he would scoop

[01:13:29] the goop out.

[01:13:30] Gross.

[01:13:30] No,

[01:13:31] I mean,

[01:13:31] he had a,

[01:13:32] if he needed to,

[01:13:33] like a table saw,

[01:13:35] he would use it

[01:13:35] for stuff like that.

[01:13:37] Oh,

[01:13:38] it's a brand of a goop.

[01:13:39] It's adhesives

[01:13:40] and sealants.

[01:13:42] Amazing.

[01:13:43] Amazing goop.

[01:13:44] Oh,

[01:13:44] is that,

[01:13:44] that's an infomercial.

[01:13:45] Yeah.

[01:13:46] When goop does it.

[01:13:47] Yeah.

[01:13:48] Didn't she Google that?

[01:13:49] How do you not know

[01:13:50] there's already a goop?

[01:13:52] Not amazing.

[01:13:53] Well,

[01:13:53] I guess it wasn't

[01:13:54] that amazing.

[01:13:55] Nope.

[01:14:00] I mean the products.

[01:14:01] A baseball cap

[01:14:02] with built-in

[01:14:03] red light therapy

[01:14:04] in 2000,

[01:14:06] a vibrator

[01:14:06] that plays

[01:14:07] your favorite song

[01:14:08] for $159.

[01:14:09] What?

[01:14:11] What?

[01:14:12] Stimulated hair growth

[01:14:13] and rejuvenated scalp

[01:14:14] priced at $449.

[01:14:17] Dude,

[01:14:18] if you could really

[01:14:19] stimulate hair growth

[01:14:20] and rejuvenate the scalp,

[01:14:21] we wouldn't have

[01:14:22] bald people.

[01:14:23] Don't tell me

[01:14:23] that your $450 product

[01:14:25] is going to cure baldness.

[01:14:26] I don't believe it.

[01:14:28] So that one's going down

[01:14:29] and guess who else

[01:14:30] is going down?

[01:14:31] Well,

[01:14:31] in more ways than one.

[01:14:33] How a California pot company

[01:14:35] went from $575 million

[01:14:36] in cash

[01:14:37] to a death spiral.

[01:14:38] This is Jay-Z's

[01:14:39] flashy launch

[01:14:40] of his pot company.

[01:14:42] This is a bad,

[01:14:43] bad,

[01:14:44] bad year for Jay-Z.

[01:14:45] Bad year.

[01:14:45] Yep.

[01:14:46] Yep.

[01:14:46] But I always said

[01:14:48] the pot stuff,

[01:14:50] he had a joint.

[01:14:52] His was

[01:14:53] exclusive,

[01:14:54] elite,

[01:14:55] if you will,

[01:14:55] all that bullshit.

[01:14:56] A joint was $50

[01:14:57] and it came in a fancy box.

[01:14:58] 50 bucks?

[01:14:59] 50 bucks.

[01:14:59] A normal joint's five.

[01:15:01] I checked with my weed people.

[01:15:03] All my weed friends.

[01:15:04] How much is street weed?

[01:15:05] Yeah.

[01:15:05] I don't engage in the pot.

[01:15:08] Don't care.

[01:15:08] Just puts me to sleep.

[01:15:09] But his legal name

[01:15:11] is Sean Carter.

[01:15:13] Rolled out his monogram line

[01:15:14] of luxury joints

[01:15:15] and cannabis flowers

[01:15:15] with a photo shoot

[01:15:16] at the infamous

[01:15:17] Frank Sinatra house

[01:15:18] in Palm Springs.

[01:15:19] Models elegantly smoke joints

[01:15:20] in front of the mid-century

[01:15:22] pool furniture

[01:15:23] as if the brand

[01:15:24] had been around

[01:15:25] glowing profiles

[01:15:26] in GQ,

[01:15:27] Vogue,

[01:15:28] and Vanity Fair

[01:15:29] soon followed.

[01:15:30] Four years later,

[01:15:32] this celebrity

[01:15:32] cannabis brand

[01:15:33] has already disappeared.

[01:15:36] 570 million bucks

[01:15:39] to make...

[01:15:40] 50 bucks!

[01:15:41] To make...

[01:15:41] Yeah.

[01:15:45] One guy said too,

[01:15:46] who's a super pop person,

[01:15:48] he told San Francisco

[01:15:49] that the parent company

[01:15:49] was spending

[01:15:50] mind-boggling amounts

[01:15:51] during its brief time

[01:15:52] and that Jay-Z's

[01:15:53] pricey monogram products

[01:15:55] failed to live up

[01:15:55] to the hype.

[01:15:57] One said they didn't

[01:15:58] even stay lit.

[01:15:59] I mean,

[01:16:00] that's like a basic.

[01:16:01] Yeah.

[01:16:02] Like, you need your joint

[01:16:03] to stay lit.

[01:16:03] Well,

[01:16:04] that's going down too.

[01:16:06] Yeah,

[01:16:07] that's just in business news.

[01:16:08] Did you enjoy

[01:16:09] the restaurant Chi-Chi's?

[01:16:11] We had a...

[01:16:12] Did you have them

[01:16:13] in Canada?

[01:16:14] Yeah.

[01:16:15] I don't...

[01:16:15] I think on the road

[01:16:16] I went to some,

[01:16:17] but I don't remember

[01:16:18] them being around

[01:16:18] like growing up.

[01:16:20] The margarita?

[01:16:21] That's because

[01:16:22] all Canadians

[01:16:23] and Midwest people

[01:16:23] think any margarita

[01:16:25] is fancy

[01:16:26] and exciting

[01:16:27] because it's different

[01:16:28] than beer

[01:16:29] or wine.

[01:16:30] Like,

[01:16:31] whoa,

[01:16:31] what is this craziness

[01:16:33] you created in the back?

[01:16:34] And they had those little thin...

[01:16:35] The thin chips

[01:16:36] are better than the thick ones.

[01:16:38] I agree.

[01:16:38] Well,

[01:16:39] it's making a comeback.

[01:16:40] 20 years

[01:16:40] after its last restaurant closed.

[01:16:43] Yeah.

[01:16:44] Hormel Foods,

[01:16:45] the current owner,

[01:16:46] announced it's letting

[01:16:48] Michael McDermott,

[01:16:49] the son's chair

[01:16:50] chain's co-founder,

[01:16:51] use the fabled name

[01:16:52] to reopen restaurants

[01:16:53] in 2025.

[01:16:55] Specific locations,

[01:16:55] menu items,

[01:16:56] and designs

[01:16:57] weren't immediately released.

[01:16:58] It was started

[01:16:58] in Minnesota.

[01:16:59] Chi-Chi's was started

[01:17:00] in Minnesota in 1975

[01:17:01] by Marno McDermott

[01:17:03] and Green Bay Packer

[01:17:04] players Max McGee.

[01:17:06] I'm not taking

[01:17:07] two Irishmen.

[01:17:11] Ours was

[01:17:11] Casa Galar.

[01:17:13] So I don't really...

[01:17:14] A lardo?

[01:17:15] Casa Galar.

[01:17:16] What does that even mean?

[01:17:17] I don't know.

[01:17:18] It was just a Mexican restaurant

[01:17:19] where we had baby showers

[01:17:20] after working at the restaurant.

[01:17:21] Baby showers.

[01:17:22] And we would just get drunk there.

[01:17:23] Yeah.

[01:17:24] The food,

[01:17:25] we thought it was great.

[01:17:25] First time I had ever

[01:17:26] had a chimichanga in my life.

[01:17:27] I was probably 20.

[01:17:29] We didn't have Mexican food.

[01:17:32] No.

[01:17:34] Outback Steakhouse

[01:17:35] out bought Chi-Chi's

[01:17:37] and a $40 million deal

[01:17:38] and closed the remaining restaurants.

[01:17:40] There was only one left.

[01:17:41] And, um...

[01:17:43] Oh, here's why.

[01:17:44] The chain closed in 2004

[01:17:46] following a hepatitis A outbreak

[01:17:48] at a Pittsburgh area location

[01:17:49] traced to green onions

[01:17:50] served in its complimentary salsa

[01:17:52] sickening 650 people

[01:17:54] and resulting in four deaths

[01:17:55] in several hundred lawsuits.

[01:17:57] Wow.

[01:17:58] I was not paying attention

[01:18:00] in 2004,

[01:18:01] but I don't really know Chi-Chi's.

[01:18:02] Gallardo means

[01:18:03] a dashing person.

[01:18:06] Gallardo means

[01:18:07] a dashing person

[01:18:08] or thing that is very stylish.

[01:18:09] Yeah.

[01:18:09] Oh.

[01:18:10] Well, it was the House of Style

[01:18:11] right there in North County,

[01:18:13] St. Louis.

[01:18:14] Wonderful.

[01:18:14] Who knew?

[01:18:15] Right down the road.

[01:18:16] It's a stylish Mexican place.

[01:18:17] Stylish Mexican place.

[01:18:21] The revival of Chi-Chi's

[01:18:23] comes with other nostalgic changes

[01:18:24] that are facing mixed results.

[01:18:26] Chili's has repeatedly

[01:18:27] reported strong earnings this year,

[01:18:29] while Red Lobster and TGI Fridays

[01:18:31] both fly off for bankruptcy.

[01:18:32] We know this because we do this

[01:18:33] on this podcast.

[01:18:35] I don't know.

[01:18:35] I don't think of Minnesota

[01:18:36] and Mexican

[01:18:37] and I don't think of

[01:18:38] two Irish guys

[01:18:39] actual names begin with Mick

[01:18:41] becoming aficionados

[01:18:43] in Mexican food.

[01:18:45] No.

[01:18:46] Especially when I know

[01:18:47] a million Mexican comedians

[01:18:49] that could probably

[01:18:49] kick their ass

[01:18:50] with just what they make

[01:18:51] for lunch by themselves.

[01:18:53] Right.

[01:18:53] Yeah.

[01:18:54] Nashville.

[01:18:56] There is not very good

[01:18:57] Mexican in Nashville.

[01:18:59] Not that I have found.

[01:19:01] And then they open up

[01:19:02] places to try to be cool

[01:19:05] and they're too hip.

[01:19:07] Like the food's too weird.

[01:19:09] Yeah.

[01:19:10] Like, okay,

[01:19:11] it's kind of Mexican.

[01:19:12] Yeah.

[01:19:12] But then you put

[01:19:13] all this other shit in it.

[01:19:14] I just want old school.

[01:19:16] Kobe beef.

[01:19:16] There were a bunch

[01:19:18] of Mexican guys

[01:19:19] that helped build a porch

[01:19:22] onto the side of my house

[01:19:24] and I asked them,

[01:19:25] where do you guys

[01:19:26] get good Mexican food?

[01:19:27] And he's like,

[01:19:28] at my house.

[01:19:29] I'm like,

[01:19:29] I know,

[01:19:30] Angel.

[01:19:31] I figured that.

[01:19:31] He goes,

[01:19:32] Dad,

[01:19:32] I don't know.

[01:19:33] You just have to come

[01:19:34] to my house.

[01:19:34] My wife will make you

[01:19:35] anything you want.

[01:19:36] And I'm like,

[01:19:36] okay,

[01:19:37] well,

[01:19:37] let's say I didn't

[01:19:38] make it over to your house.

[01:19:39] Is there a second

[01:19:39] location you enjoy?

[01:19:41] Not really.

[01:19:44] Okay.

[01:19:46] All right.

[01:19:47] Australia is trying

[01:19:48] to ban social media

[01:19:49] for people under

[01:19:50] the age of 16.

[01:19:53] Yep.

[01:19:53] Good luck.

[01:19:55] Well,

[01:19:56] whatever their version

[01:19:57] of the Senate

[01:19:58] passed it.

[01:19:59] Parliament.

[01:20:00] Is that what?

[01:20:01] They have a parliament?

[01:20:03] Australia approved

[01:20:04] the ban

[01:20:05] on last Thursday

[01:20:07] after a motive debate

[01:20:08] that has gripped

[01:20:09] the nation,

[01:20:09] setting a benchmark

[01:20:10] through jurisdictions

[01:20:11] around the world

[01:20:12] with one of the toughest,

[01:20:13] Here's the thing.

[01:20:15] You can't.

[01:20:17] We're making sure

[01:20:18] that moms and dads

[01:20:19] have a different

[01:20:19] conversation today

[01:20:20] than in future days.

[01:20:23] Okay.

[01:20:23] I don't think

[01:20:24] you can do it.

[01:20:26] The children

[01:20:26] will outsmart you.

[01:20:28] When are old people

[01:20:29] going to realize

[01:20:29] the children

[01:20:30] will find a way?

[01:20:32] Right.

[01:20:32] And you're just

[01:20:33] going to make it

[01:20:34] more elusive then

[01:20:34] and more exciting.

[01:20:36] Yep.

[01:20:36] Because then,

[01:20:37] you know,

[01:20:37] who's going to be

[01:20:37] the first one

[01:20:38] to figure it out?

[01:20:39] Mindy,

[01:20:39] probably because

[01:20:40] nobody manifests

[01:20:41] like Mindy.

[01:20:41] So Mindy will

[01:20:42] figure it out.

[01:20:43] She'll manifest it.

[01:20:44] She will manifest

[01:20:45] TikTok right back

[01:20:46] on her phone.

[01:20:47] And then all the kids

[01:20:47] will want to go

[01:20:48] to Mindy's house

[01:20:49] because then,

[01:20:49] you know,

[01:20:50] it's just,

[01:20:50] I don't think,

[01:20:52] I don't know,

[01:20:53] is there a way

[01:20:53] to put settings

[01:20:54] on those phones?

[01:20:55] Maybe.

[01:20:56] Yeah,

[01:20:57] there's child settings.

[01:20:59] Child settings?

[01:21:00] Yeah.

[01:21:00] I don't know.

[01:21:01] I'm glad

[01:21:01] kids when it comes

[01:21:03] to all this shit.

[01:21:06] Is it TikTok?

[01:21:07] I mean,

[01:21:09] you either have it

[01:21:09] or you don't.

[01:21:10] To even say

[01:21:11] we're going to put

[01:21:11] settings on it.

[01:21:13] Yeah.

[01:21:13] I don't think

[01:21:14] it's going to work

[01:21:15] and I don't think

[01:21:16] they're going to ban it here

[01:21:17] and I don't understand

[01:21:18] why China makes

[01:21:19] 90% of the crap

[01:21:20] that's probably

[01:21:20] sitting on this desk

[01:21:21] why they're so mad

[01:21:22] that China owns TikTok.

[01:21:25] They're afraid

[01:21:25] they're going to get

[01:21:26] into my Android

[01:21:26] and like I say on stage,

[01:21:27] you go right ahead

[01:21:28] and I don't know

[01:21:29] who's going to get a hold

[01:21:30] of my assignment,

[01:21:30] who gets Kathleen's phone,

[01:21:32] but I hope

[01:21:33] that person enjoys cats

[01:21:34] because you're going

[01:21:35] to have to plow

[01:21:35] through 2,700 pictures

[01:21:37] of my cats

[01:21:43] so it's very confusing

[01:21:44] in the beginning.

[01:21:45] People are like,

[01:21:45] honey,

[01:21:45] tell them a pie.

[01:21:46] Well,

[01:21:46] you'll get the hang of it.

[01:21:47] You keep going on there

[01:21:48] and searching

[01:21:49] who's ever got my phone.

[01:21:52] The government

[01:21:52] is telling us

[01:21:53] nothing to do.

[01:21:59] Here's,

[01:21:59] I don't know

[01:22:00] if this is a feel good story.

[01:22:01] I'm trying to find if,

[01:22:02] well,

[01:22:03] I have two stories.

[01:22:05] Two stories about nuns.

[01:22:07] Nun stories.

[01:22:08] Nun stories.

[01:22:09] I like it.

[01:22:09] Throwback

[01:22:10] because there's not many nuns left.

[01:22:11] I talk a lot about this

[01:22:12] in my act.

[01:22:13] Catholic nun arrested

[01:22:14] among 25 arrested

[01:22:16] in a mob bust

[01:22:17] in Northern Italy.

[01:22:18] She's part of the mob.

[01:22:20] Yay.

[01:22:21] A Catholic nun

[01:22:22] with the Sisters of Charity Institute

[01:22:24] for you people

[01:22:25] who are not Catholic.

[01:22:26] I'm not Christian.

[01:22:29] Nuns have different orders.

[01:22:31] They're named

[01:22:31] after different people.

[01:22:32] We know that in Canada.

[01:22:33] You know that in Canada?

[01:22:34] Mm-hmm.

[01:22:34] Yeah,

[01:22:35] but sometimes I'll say things

[01:22:36] and you'll go,

[01:22:37] I don't know what that is.

[01:22:38] I'm honest.

[01:22:39] So one time

[01:22:40] my brother dated this girl.

[01:22:42] Priests have orders too.

[01:22:43] Like you're a Jesuit priest

[01:22:45] or a Franciscan,

[01:22:46] like there's categories, right?

[01:22:48] My brother was dating a girl

[01:22:49] who was in Catholic high school.

[01:22:51] Okay.

[01:22:52] College maybe even.

[01:22:53] I don't know.

[01:22:54] I will not say her name

[01:22:55] but it was something very Irish.

[01:22:56] We'll call her Katie.

[01:22:58] My dad said,

[01:23:00] Katie,

[01:23:01] what order of priest

[01:23:03] are at your school?

[01:23:04] And she goes,

[01:23:05] oh,

[01:23:07] coaches?

[01:23:08] What?

[01:23:10] She was trying to think

[01:23:11] of like their other jobs

[01:23:13] and so she came up with

[01:23:14] they also coach things

[01:23:16] and my dad goes,

[01:23:17] oh,

[01:23:18] okay.

[01:23:20] Well,

[01:23:20] we all just went.

[01:23:21] I busted out laughing

[01:23:23] and I said,

[01:23:24] Katie,

[01:23:24] that's not an order.

[01:23:26] Like coaches,

[01:23:27] that's like,

[01:23:28] I,

[01:23:28] anyway,

[01:23:29] it's funny if you're Catholic.

[01:23:30] Anyway,

[01:23:31] a Catholic nun

[01:23:32] with the Sisters of Charity Institute,

[01:23:34] Milan,

[01:23:34] was among 25 people

[01:23:35] arrested early Thursday morning

[01:23:36] for a litany of mafia-related crimes

[01:23:38] including aiding and abetting extortion,

[01:23:40] drug trafficking,

[01:23:41] receiving stolen goods,

[01:23:42] tax crimes,

[01:23:43] and money laundering.

[01:23:44] Well,

[01:23:44] I think we all learned

[01:23:44] from the sound of music.

[01:23:45] If you want to get shit done,

[01:23:47] go to the convent

[01:23:48] and tell them.

[01:23:49] Yeah.

[01:23:49] Maybe so.

[01:23:50] Sister Anna Donnelly,

[01:23:52] 57,

[01:23:52] was among prison inmates

[01:23:55] as Sister Kalina

[01:23:57] when she volunteered

[01:23:58] at several prisons

[01:23:59] in and around

[01:24:00] Brescia,

[01:24:01] the city in the northern region

[01:24:03] of such and such

[01:24:03] where anti-mafia police

[01:24:06] blessings and comfort.

[01:24:08] She's accused of being

[01:24:09] an intermediary,

[01:24:11] exploiting the very

[01:24:12] spiritual role

[01:24:12] she carried out.

[01:24:13] Maybe she wasn't even

[01:24:14] a real nun,

[01:24:15] are we sure?

[01:24:16] Maybe she's dressed like a nun.

[01:24:17] Oh!

[01:24:18] Huh?

[01:24:19] Conspiracy!

[01:24:19] Huh?

[01:24:20] What?

[01:24:20] She carried orders,

[01:24:21] directives,

[01:24:22] morale,

[01:24:22] and material aid

[01:24:23] to associates

[01:24:24] receiving in turn

[01:24:25] from the prisoners

[01:24:25] useful information

[01:24:26] to better plan

[01:24:27] criminal strategies.

[01:24:28] According to prosecutors,

[01:24:29] a total of 1.9 million cash

[01:24:31] was sequestered

[01:24:31] in the operation

[01:24:32] carried out

[01:24:32] by 300 anti-mafia

[01:24:35] officers

[01:24:35] and special police dogs

[01:24:36] to sniff out drugs

[01:24:37] in several cash locations.

[01:24:39] Yeah.

[01:24:41] As Rocky Laporte would say,

[01:24:43] well,

[01:24:43] good for you.

[01:24:43] It worked for a while.

[01:24:45] Yeah,

[01:24:45] good for you.

[01:24:46] Here's one.

[01:24:47] Speaking of nuns,

[01:24:49] you know what's a good idea?

[01:24:50] Rome.

[01:24:51] Hello?

[01:24:52] The Pope?

[01:24:53] When we're running

[01:24:54] out of nuns,

[01:24:55] you should kick out

[01:24:56] the ones we have left.

[01:24:57] For sure you should do that.

[01:24:58] Why?

[01:24:59] Texas nuns are expelled

[01:25:00] by the Vatican.

[01:25:01] This is where my mom

[01:25:02] will defend this Pope.

[01:25:03] I go,

[01:25:03] is he better than the last guy?

[01:25:04] Yes.

[01:25:05] But does that mean,

[01:25:06] is he really paying attention?

[01:25:08] Yeah.

[01:25:08] Because one lady

[01:25:10] in a wheelchair

[01:25:11] had an online

[01:25:12] sexual relationship

[01:25:14] with some old priest

[01:25:15] in a different state.

[01:25:17] Okay?

[01:25:18] All right.

[01:25:19] Well,

[01:25:19] just because

[01:25:21] Sister Sheila

[01:25:22] over here

[01:25:23] is getting it on

[01:25:25] at night

[01:25:25] at midnight online,

[01:25:26] why do the rest of us

[01:25:27] got to kick out?

[01:25:28] And my immediate thought

[01:25:29] was because my mom

[01:25:30] Did they kick out the priest?

[01:25:32] I don't know yet.

[01:25:33] I gotta read it.

[01:25:35] No,

[01:25:35] I don't know.

[01:25:35] Yeah,

[01:25:36] he probably got suspended.

[01:25:37] They suspend them.

[01:25:38] They don't really care.

[01:25:38] They don't care about the nuns.

[01:25:40] Here's the problem.

[01:25:40] The nuns,

[01:25:41] the old convents,

[01:25:42] when there were tons of nuns,

[01:25:43] they looked like the ones

[01:25:44] in Sound of Music.

[01:25:45] They're beautiful,

[01:25:46] gothic buildings

[01:25:46] on very valuable land.

[01:25:48] Right.

[01:25:48] And I thought,

[01:25:49] oh,

[01:25:49] they just used this

[01:25:50] as an excuse.

[01:25:51] Boom.

[01:25:51] Booed them out.

[01:25:52] We sell it.

[01:25:53] Boom.

[01:25:53] Well,

[01:25:53] here's the story.

[01:25:55] Average.

[01:25:56] The average age

[01:25:57] of a Catholic nun

[01:25:58] in the world?

[01:25:59] 81.

[01:26:00] 81.

[01:26:00] Oh my God.

[01:26:01] And that's counting

[01:26:02] the Filipinos

[01:26:02] who sign up young.

[01:26:04] Yep.

[01:26:04] And as of 2022?

[01:26:06] As of 2022?

[01:26:08] 42,000 Catholic nuns.

[01:26:11] 42,000 Catholic nuns

[01:26:12] in the United States.

[01:26:13] I think that's a high number.

[01:26:14] Oh.

[01:26:16] Cool.

[01:26:16] That's according to Google?

[01:26:18] Yeah.

[01:26:18] Well,

[01:26:19] the Vatican has expelled

[01:26:20] a group of nuns

[01:26:21] amid a year-long dispute

[01:26:23] between the sisters

[01:26:24] and Fort Worth Bishop

[01:26:26] Michael Olson

[01:26:27] after he accused

[01:26:29] their reverend mother

[01:26:30] of breaking her chastity vows

[01:26:32] with an online love affair.

[01:26:34] You know,

[01:26:35] does that count?

[01:26:36] Let them go.

[01:26:37] Yes.

[01:26:38] Come on.

[01:26:39] Olson recorded

[01:26:40] in April 2023

[01:26:42] his interrogation

[01:26:43] of Mother Superior

[01:26:45] Teresa Agnes Gerlach

[01:26:47] in her Arlington Convent,

[01:26:49] which she seemed to admit

[01:26:50] a consensual

[01:26:51] long-distance

[01:26:51] phone romance

[01:26:53] with Father Philip Johnson,

[01:26:55] a retired priest

[01:26:56] from the diocese

[01:26:57] in Raleigh, North Carolina.

[01:26:59] Wow.

[01:27:00] The bishop claimed

[01:27:00] that by engaging

[01:27:01] in sexting relationships,

[01:27:03] she committed sins

[01:27:04] of adultery

[01:27:04] in violation

[01:27:05] of the Sixth Commandment

[01:27:06] and her vows of chastity.

[01:27:07] Is this all we got to do today?

[01:27:10] Go after the lady?

[01:27:11] Yeah.

[01:27:12] Ugh.

[01:27:13] By October,

[01:27:14] the Catholic leader

[01:27:14] assigned to oversee the nuns

[01:27:16] dismissed the religious order.

[01:27:18] The whole order.

[01:27:19] There's only five of them,

[01:27:20] but still.

[01:27:21] On November 28th,

[01:27:26] the Institutes of Consecrated Life

[01:27:28] and Societies of Life,

[01:27:31] a group within the Catholic Church

[01:27:32] that oversees the matters,

[01:27:34] issued a decree of suppression.

[01:27:36] I don't even understand.

[01:27:37] This means

[01:27:38] that the monastery

[01:27:39] is extinct

[01:27:39] and no longer recognized

[01:27:41] by the Catholic Church

[01:27:42] and the women

[01:27:42] who live in the convent

[01:27:43] are neither nuns

[01:27:44] nor Carmelites

[01:27:45] despite their continued

[01:27:46] self-public

[01:27:47] or continued public

[01:27:48] self-identification

[01:27:49] to the contrary.

[01:27:50] Olsen wrote,

[01:27:51] see, we got,

[01:27:51] so we got to get a thing

[01:27:52] going against this Olsen guy.

[01:27:53] Yeah.

[01:27:54] Yeah, and then somebody

[01:27:55] tell the Pope

[01:27:56] what's going on.

[01:27:56] Fort Worth to the Pope

[01:27:57] is like saying Mars.

[01:27:59] Right.

[01:27:59] He's 87 years old

[01:28:01] sitting there

[01:28:01] and he's never,

[01:28:02] you know,

[01:28:02] yeah, he's not

[01:28:03] getting out a lot.

[01:28:04] Yes.

[01:28:06] Olsen then warned Catholics

[01:28:07] that it would be gravely wrong

[01:28:09] and would do harm

[01:28:10] to the church

[01:28:11] by attending services

[01:28:12] at the monastery.

[01:28:13] The actions of the former nuns

[01:28:15] have perpetrated

[01:28:15] a deep wound

[01:28:16] in the body of Christ.

[01:28:17] Come on.

[01:28:18] I will ask all of you

[01:28:19] to join me

[01:28:19] praying for healing,

[01:28:20] reconciliation.

[01:28:21] Why are you kicking

[01:28:21] the other ones out?

[01:28:22] This lady,

[01:28:23] honestly,

[01:28:23] in the wheelchair

[01:28:24] does not look that old.

[01:28:25] Mother Teresa Agnes.

[01:28:27] She actually looks very sweet.

[01:28:29] But the nuns

[01:28:30] have shrugged off

[01:28:31] the Vatican's decree.

[01:28:32] Good for them.

[01:28:33] Right.

[01:28:34] After,

[01:28:35] after them,

[01:28:37] with the Vatican,

[01:28:38] with the Society

[01:28:39] of St. Pius X,

[01:28:40] the Roman Catholic

[01:28:41] priestly,

[01:28:42] they have accordingly,

[01:28:43] they have repeatedly

[01:28:44] accused Olsen

[01:28:45] of wanting to gain

[01:28:46] control of their

[01:28:47] 72-acre,

[01:28:49] $3.8 million

[01:28:51] Arlington property.

[01:28:52] Can you imagine

[01:28:52] having 72 acres

[01:28:54] in Arlington, Texas

[01:28:55] right now?

[01:28:55] Oh my God.

[01:28:56] Jerry Jones

[01:28:57] would kill for a parking lot.

[01:28:58] Jerry will buy it.

[01:28:59] Go tell him.

[01:29:00] Tell him there's interviews

[01:29:01] over there

[01:29:02] and people want to talk to him.

[01:29:03] Jerry,

[01:29:04] Jerry,

[01:29:04] come over here.

[01:29:05] What do you like?

[01:29:06] You like these 72 acres?

[01:29:07] Have a fake ESPN truck.

[01:29:09] Come on in, Jerry.

[01:29:10] We're doing a podcast.

[01:29:12] The nuns even sued

[01:29:13] the Fort Worth

[01:29:14] Diocese and Bishop Olsen

[01:29:15] in 2003

[01:29:16] for $1 million

[01:29:16] for alleged violations

[01:29:18] of privacy

[01:29:18] and harming the physical

[01:29:19] and emotional

[01:29:19] well-being of the sisters.

[01:29:21] Yeah.

[01:29:22] She said,

[01:29:22] yeah,

[01:29:23] I made a Harley,

[01:29:23] I made a terrible mistake,

[01:29:24] but not everybody

[01:29:25] should be,

[01:29:26] oh,

[01:29:26] look at him.

[01:29:30] He's super chubby.

[01:29:34] Yeah,

[01:29:34] he shouldn't wear that

[01:29:35] priest color.

[01:29:36] He gives him like another neck.

[01:29:37] Yeah,

[01:29:38] it's too tight.

[01:29:40] Glasses.

[01:29:40] And he just,

[01:29:41] I don't know.

[01:29:42] It's not about what,

[01:29:43] you know what I mean?

[01:29:43] It's just like,

[01:29:44] uh,

[01:29:46] the vows we have professed

[01:29:47] by God cannot be dismissed

[01:29:48] or taken away.

[01:29:49] The nun said,

[01:29:50] by virtue of them,

[01:29:50] we belong to him

[01:29:51] and we are his.

[01:29:52] Given that we pray every day

[01:29:53] for the Holy Father,

[01:29:54] Pope Francis

[01:29:54] and our,

[01:29:55] our,

[01:29:55] our,

[01:29:56] and Michael Olsen,

[01:29:57] any claim that we have

[01:29:57] departed from the Catholic faith

[01:29:59] is ridiculous.

[01:30:00] Faith is ridiculous.

[01:30:02] Yeah.

[01:30:03] Stay.

[01:30:04] He's probably got a secret

[01:30:05] relationship too.

[01:30:06] Oh,

[01:30:07] he's got a secret relationship.

[01:30:08] I know he does.

[01:30:10] Um,

[01:30:11] there,

[01:30:11] you just can't say

[01:30:12] you're not a nun anymore

[01:30:13] or maybe they think they can.

[01:30:14] I don't know.

[01:30:15] Everybody in Texas,

[01:30:16] we gotta get on,

[01:30:16] uh,

[01:30:17] Mother Agnes's side

[01:30:19] on this one.

[01:30:19] So maybe she stayed up

[01:30:21] and had a little wine

[01:30:22] and got online,

[01:30:24] found herself

[01:30:25] a nice little boyfriend.

[01:30:26] He's Catholic.

[01:30:27] Yeah,

[01:30:28] he's Catholic.

[01:30:28] What else do you want?

[01:30:30] Come on.

[01:30:30] There seem to be

[01:30:31] sort of age appropriate.

[01:30:33] We should do a t-shirt.

[01:30:35] Support.

[01:30:36] Yeah.

[01:30:36] Free Mama A.

[01:30:38] Do a t-shirt.

[01:30:39] Free Mama A.

[01:30:40] All right.

[01:30:40] I don't really have

[01:30:41] a feel good story.

[01:30:43] Um,

[01:30:46] well.

[01:30:47] Who do you want

[01:30:48] to do your quotes?

[01:30:49] I gotta do,

[01:30:50] uh,

[01:30:50] my thank yous

[01:30:51] and then I'll do quotes.

[01:30:52] Oh,

[01:30:52] well,

[01:30:53] we have to do,

[01:30:54] uh,

[01:30:54] Cher cause she's on fire.

[01:30:56] So that's sad.

[01:30:57] How about Tay Tay?

[01:30:57] Cause she's done.

[01:30:58] And Tay Tay cause she's done.

[01:30:59] We'll do those too.

[01:31:00] And I gotta find my original paper.

[01:31:01] Oh,

[01:31:01] here we go.

[01:31:03] So you're gonna throw it?

[01:31:05] Yeah.

[01:31:05] Tay Tay.

[01:31:08] Cher.

[01:31:10] Frida's too dark.

[01:31:11] Yeah.

[01:31:11] It's all sad.

[01:31:12] She had a hard life.

[01:31:14] Okay.

[01:31:14] Um,

[01:31:16] the white cheddar puffs.

[01:31:17] This is shipping from Lynn.

[01:31:18] Ben Salem.

[01:31:19] So many things.

[01:31:20] Oh,

[01:31:20] greenies.

[01:31:20] The cats love them.

[01:31:22] Yeah,

[01:31:22] they do.

[01:31:23] Um,

[01:31:24] uh,

[01:31:25] the long sleeve,

[01:31:26] uh,

[01:31:26] t-shirts.

[01:31:27] And this is from,

[01:31:27] uh,

[01:31:27] tremendous,

[01:31:28] Justin,

[01:31:28] uh,

[01:31:29] finance gym.

[01:31:30] I don't really know what that is.

[01:31:31] Oh,

[01:31:32] fiance.

[01:31:33] Well,

[01:31:33] that's what you typed.

[01:31:35] You type finance.

[01:31:36] I thought he's a money guy.

[01:31:38] Congratulations,

[01:31:38] Jim.

[01:31:39] You've become a money guy under my rule.

[01:31:41] And you're also a fiance.

[01:31:43] Yep.

[01:31:43] Giant bottle of Jameson from termite Tara.

[01:31:46] Um,

[01:31:47] uh,

[01:31:47] pop up paper doll.

[01:31:49] So it was funny from Nancy local snacks,

[01:31:51] uh,

[01:31:51] cat knit,

[01:31:52] more treats.

[01:31:52] Well,

[01:31:53] the Jackalope koozie is very fun.

[01:31:54] Reminds me of my dad.

[01:31:55] All right.

[01:31:56] Judith and Brian,

[01:31:57] uh,

[01:31:57] free will beer and a homemade crocheted hat for baby cat.

[01:32:02] Um,

[01:32:02] Oh,

[01:32:02] I know my feel good story.

[01:32:04] Soon as I finish.

[01:32:05] Yep.

[01:32:05] These are going to go on baby cat for some Instagram videos.

[01:32:07] Nice.

[01:32:08] She will not.

[01:32:09] Like it,

[01:32:10] but you know,

[01:32:11] we're trying to make money online here.

[01:32:12] Baby cat,

[01:32:13] you're just an actor in this house and you're not even in the union.

[01:32:16] She hasn't paid her union dues.

[01:32:19] You're not after or sag.

[01:32:21] You're just a scab who walked onto the set.

[01:32:23] You're going to wear this goddamn hat.

[01:32:25] It's going to be cute as all get out.

[01:32:27] Um,

[01:32:29] Guinness chocolates.

[01:32:30] Those were delicious.

[01:32:31] That's term.

[01:32:31] Philly termite,

[01:32:32] Sue Cape May beer.

[01:32:33] That's where my brother got married.

[01:32:35] What?

[01:32:36] Cape May.

[01:32:36] Um,

[01:32:37] from Diane,

[01:32:37] uh,

[01:32:39] Danny,

[01:32:40] uh,

[01:32:40] Kelly and Jess and golf balls,

[01:32:43] big orange ones.

[01:32:44] Right.

[01:32:45] Yeah.

[01:32:45] Uh,

[01:32:46] big foot Christmas order,

[01:32:47] Philly termites,

[01:32:48] Mary and Diane.

[01:32:48] And then UPS,

[01:32:49] uh,

[01:32:50] there's this pickleball belt.

[01:32:52] Uh,

[01:32:52] I think I'm going to give it to pinky.

[01:32:54] Well,

[01:32:54] I might,

[01:32:55] I might use it myself.

[01:32:56] It's got Velcro on the back.

[01:32:58] So if you don't have pockets,

[01:32:59] you can just put the ball right there on your back.

[01:33:01] Yeah.

[01:33:01] It sticks right there.

[01:33:02] Yeah.

[01:33:03] That's from termite law.

[01:33:05] Um,

[01:33:06] sea salt,

[01:33:07] chocolate potato chips,

[01:33:08] Bucky's chips,

[01:33:08] and a beer sign that was very cool from Tammy and Shannon.

[01:33:12] Last ones,

[01:33:13] hair boo bears and Joss mints,

[01:33:14] Darlene,

[01:33:15] Lawrence,

[01:33:15] Kansas,

[01:33:16] Lawrence.

[01:33:17] I've been there.

[01:33:18] Um,

[01:33:18] cat toys.

[01:33:19] Oh,

[01:33:19] my 73 year old,

[01:33:20] um,

[01:33:21] termite.

[01:33:21] I wanted to read you that.

[01:33:22] This is a feel good story.

[01:33:24] Yeah.

[01:33:24] It's a very nice card.

[01:33:25] I will not say her last name.

[01:33:26] I'll just say her first name is Libby.

[01:33:28] She sent me a picture of her and her cat.

[01:33:29] Oh,

[01:33:30] I know it's the cutest all orange,

[01:33:32] which means it kind of crazy.

[01:33:33] My sister's orange cat.

[01:33:35] I've never heard a cat talk that much when she's on the phone because Kate's not paying attention to Coco.

[01:33:41] No,

[01:33:41] no,

[01:33:42] no.

[01:33:42] I go put her on the phone.

[01:33:43] So I put baby cat on the phone.

[01:33:44] I said,

[01:33:45] say hi to your cousin Coco.

[01:33:47] Yeah.

[01:33:47] But baby cat's not a big talker.

[01:33:49] The orange ones are super fun.

[01:33:51] Sometimes I wish four orange ones had showed up,

[01:33:53] but they didn't.

[01:33:54] I got gray.

[01:33:56] She said,

[01:33:56] I'm from Portland,

[01:33:57] Oregon,

[01:33:57] 73 year old fan and termite.

[01:33:59] I love you.

[01:33:59] Never miss a podcast.

[01:34:00] Last year I had a serious infection,

[01:34:03] uh,

[01:34:03] had surgery.

[01:34:04] It was in a rehab center.

[01:34:05] She had to learn everything again,

[01:34:06] able to watch it on YouTube.

[01:34:08] Uh,

[01:34:08] like see humor.

[01:34:09] So sorry about my dad.

[01:34:10] Uh,

[01:34:11] she,

[01:34:11] so she adopted an orange,

[01:34:13] this orange cat,

[01:34:13] uh,

[01:34:14] at the shelter.

[01:34:15] Uh,

[01:34:15] then she named him Banksy cause he's elusive.

[01:34:18] Oh,

[01:34:18] yeah.

[01:34:19] Very funny.

[01:34:20] Um,

[01:34:22] she said,

[01:34:22] just want to say this old lady loves you.

[01:34:24] How nice is that?

[01:34:25] Um,

[01:34:25] so boom,

[01:34:26] Libby shout out.

[01:34:27] And maybe since I do have the address that I kept,

[01:34:30] I will send a little prize package out to Libby.

[01:34:32] Yeah.

[01:34:33] But that was very,

[01:34:34] very sweet.

[01:34:35] Um,

[01:34:36] I was invited to a wedding.

[01:34:39] This is so funny.

[01:34:41] I wouldn't read these if they weren't that funny.

[01:34:43] I wouldn't bore you guys.

[01:34:43] It's Jessica and James.

[01:34:44] Um,

[01:34:45] I won't say where,

[01:34:46] but it's March 29.

[01:34:47] Um,

[01:34:48] no ball gowns needed.

[01:34:50] It's not our first marriage.

[01:34:51] So it's gonna be super chill at the local VFW hall.

[01:34:53] You're right.

[01:34:53] Yes.

[01:34:54] Uh,

[01:34:54] that's exactly what I would like drinking beer,

[01:34:56] barbecue,

[01:34:56] and listen to 90s covers.

[01:34:58] Great.

[01:34:58] Understand if you can't,

[01:34:59] but if you don't,

[01:35:00] you're invited to paddles,

[01:35:02] have a fat,

[01:35:02] a fantastic new year.

[01:35:03] Yeah.

[01:35:04] It's very March 29th to 2025.

[01:35:06] I don't know what I'll be doing.

[01:35:08] Well,

[01:35:08] I do know,

[01:35:09] but not right now.

[01:35:10] It's in a book written somewhere.

[01:35:11] Um,

[01:35:12] maybe I'll go.

[01:35:15] Maybe I'll go.

[01:35:16] I love a VFW hall,

[01:35:18] especially when they make spaghetti on Fridays.

[01:35:20] Um,

[01:35:21] spaghetti on Fridays.

[01:35:23] Well,

[01:35:23] that's yeah.

[01:35:24] It's for the Catholic non-Christians lent.

[01:35:26] They'd have spaghetti on Fridays.

[01:35:29] Um,

[01:35:29] so we talked about the snow flocking machine and I got it.

[01:35:33] You're not on EP.

[01:35:35] This is what I'm supposed to attach to a vacuum.

[01:35:38] Now I know some of you can't see this,

[01:35:40] but there's a lady dressed like she's from the fifties.

[01:35:43] Super happy.

[01:35:43] She's a pilgrim.

[01:35:44] And she's got,

[01:35:45] she has a wonderful dress on and tiny pumps.

[01:35:48] Cause this is exactly what you'd wear in your house to snow flock.

[01:35:51] And she has a vacuum hose hooked up to this machine.

[01:35:56] It's fire retardant,

[01:35:58] easy one-step flock operation prevents needle shedding stays on 30 days or more.

[01:36:04] Um,

[01:36:06] there's six tablets.

[01:36:07] You can have all kinds of colors.

[01:36:09] You can have red,

[01:36:10] blue,

[01:36:10] yellow coloring tablets.

[01:36:11] Give the choice of silver,

[01:36:13] blue,

[01:36:13] frost pink,

[01:36:14] or any other color.

[01:36:15] And it stays on for more than 30 days.

[01:36:17] It can be removed with water.

[01:36:18] Um,

[01:36:20] it goes on.

[01:36:21] There's a plastic jar included in this.

[01:36:23] It's part of the kit.

[01:36:24] It has many everyday uses and may be used for years.

[01:36:26] Just to now this box is even so old.

[01:36:30] Jesus,

[01:36:31] I'm going to do it.

[01:36:33] You say,

[01:36:34] don't do it.

[01:36:34] Cause it's going to ruin a $500 vacuum,

[01:36:38] but I've had that vacuum for 10 years.

[01:36:40] So maybe I'll just time for a new vacuum.

[01:36:43] This is the spray gun.

[01:36:44] I'm going to take this apart for next week.

[01:36:47] It's too much.

[01:36:49] It may be used for many years.

[01:36:51] Easy to do it yourself.

[01:36:52] Beautifully flock decorations.

[01:36:56] It was on eBay.

[01:36:57] Cause nobody wants it anymore.

[01:36:59] Oh,

[01:36:59] $5 originally.

[01:37:01] It was 60 bucks.

[01:37:02] To flock,

[01:37:03] assemble kit,

[01:37:04] fill jar with water,

[01:37:05] hook up to any attachment type vacuum cleaner,

[01:37:08] and spray it on.

[01:37:13] This is going to be horrible.

[01:37:15] It was a general mills thing.

[01:37:16] It was made in Minneapolis.

[01:37:18] Stencils on the bottom for decorating windows and mirrors.

[01:37:22] See the other side of the box.

[01:37:23] All right.

[01:37:25] Oh,

[01:37:26] Oh,

[01:37:26] I'm supposed to cut these out and then flock cardboard.

[01:37:31] Stencil.

[01:37:33] Oh yeah.

[01:37:34] It's a bell and a wreath.

[01:37:36] You want to do it on your wreath?

[01:37:38] On the window.

[01:37:39] Oh,

[01:37:40] flock it.

[01:37:40] Flock the window.

[01:37:41] Well,

[01:37:42] that sounds like a lot of shit to get off.

[01:37:44] I don't know.

[01:37:44] I'm going to take these pieces out though.

[01:37:46] And I might try it.

[01:37:48] It depends on,

[01:37:48] I'm not sure if this product,

[01:37:50] the flocking stuff.

[01:37:51] 50 years old.

[01:37:52] It's 50 years old.

[01:37:53] I know it might not really.

[01:37:55] Yeah.

[01:37:55] Maybe I don't ruin the vacuum.

[01:37:56] Maybe I go buy a cheap vacuum.

[01:37:58] Here we go.

[01:37:59] This is the answer.

[01:38:01] I go get a cheap ass vacuum at Walmart or target.

[01:38:05] Like,

[01:38:06] they probably make a tiny.

[01:38:07] What if I did it through the dust buster?

[01:38:09] I have two.

[01:38:10] I could ruin one.

[01:38:12] No,

[01:38:12] I'm going to go buy a cheap vacuum.

[01:38:14] That's what I'm going to do.

[01:38:17] Now I know I'm 60 bucks in.

[01:38:19] You got to go all the way.

[01:38:20] You can't stop now.

[01:38:21] What does Cher have to say?

[01:38:24] At first,

[01:38:24] all I wanted was to be famous.

[01:38:26] Then I realized that fame had nothing to do with talent.

[01:38:28] I felt that I didn't do anything quite well enough.

[01:38:31] Then I was one of those people who was famous,

[01:38:32] but not very talented.

[01:38:34] So I said,

[01:38:35] okay,

[01:38:35] I'll be the Dinah Shore of the seventies on TV all the time.

[01:38:38] And nobody knows why.

[01:38:43] Okay.

[01:38:44] Good for her.

[01:38:46] Well done.

[01:38:46] Yeah.

[01:38:47] She always said that she didn't think she did anything good enough.

[01:38:50] Like she,

[01:38:51] she was pretty,

[01:38:51] but not pretty enough.

[01:38:52] She's a good singer,

[01:38:53] but not like Barbara Streisand.

[01:38:55] But I think her voice is great.

[01:38:56] I love her.

[01:38:57] I love it.

[01:38:58] All there's love.

[01:38:58] How deep it is.

[01:39:00] DJ playing a Christmas.

[01:39:02] My friend Bronson always sends me videos of them playing Cher at the Abbey,

[01:39:05] the gay bar in West Hollywood.

[01:39:06] And I,

[01:39:07] every time he sends it,

[01:39:08] I'm like,

[01:39:08] I wish I was right there.

[01:39:10] Yeah.

[01:39:10] But it's always Cher.

[01:39:12] And then there's gay guys dancing underneath an oil painting of Elizabeth Taylor

[01:39:15] because she went there one night and had a cocktail and they took a

[01:39:18] picture and then painted a beautiful,

[01:39:21] enormous oil painting.

[01:39:22] It is so fun to walk in a bar and just see Elizabeth Taylor with a

[01:39:25] martini.

[01:39:26] It's fantastic.

[01:39:27] Well done.

[01:39:29] Okay.

[01:39:30] Let's say something from Tay Tay.

[01:39:31] And then I,

[01:39:32] I gotta get going.

[01:39:34] Um,

[01:39:38] go to the end.

[01:39:40] Yeah.

[01:39:41] Well,

[01:39:42] all right.

[01:39:45] Well,

[01:39:45] I'll see the last one.

[01:39:46] Yeah.

[01:39:46] Oh,

[01:39:48] how appropriate,

[01:39:49] how appropriate.

[01:39:51] Well,

[01:39:52] this is from liner notes,

[01:39:54] 2010.

[01:39:54] There's a time,

[01:39:55] time for silence.

[01:39:57] And there's a time for waiting your turn.

[01:39:59] But if you know how you feel and you so clearly know what you need to say,

[01:40:05] you'll know it.

[01:40:06] I don't think you should wait.

[01:40:08] I think you should speak now.

[01:40:13] I don't even know what that meant.

[01:40:16] But go for you.

[01:40:17] Tay Tay.

[01:40:17] Oh,

[01:40:18] Martha champagne fell down.

[01:40:19] Oh,

[01:40:19] Jesus.

[01:40:23] I don't know which era you're talking about.

[01:40:26] I don't know what era I could tell you the Stevie Nicks.

[01:40:29] Eras.

[01:40:30] Bella Donna wild heart.

[01:40:32] It's the greatest thing I ever saw.

[01:40:34] Some two gay guys.

[01:40:35] I went to Vegas and this lady who was a high roller.

[01:40:38] That's why some of us don't like Vegas shows because some other people are high rollers and they just show up.

[01:40:42] They don't really know what we do or whatever.

[01:40:44] It's just free.

[01:40:45] This lady goes,

[01:40:46] Oh,

[01:40:46] was this girl in Fleetwood Mac?

[01:40:48] Oh my God.

[01:40:49] I almost turned around,

[01:40:50] punched her in the face,

[01:40:51] but I thought,

[01:40:51] all right,

[01:40:52] she's a high roller rich person and doesn't even know what she's here to see.

[01:40:56] Well,

[01:40:56] Stevie came out and we all stood up and I'm short.

[01:40:59] So I don't really bother anybody even when I'm standing,

[01:41:01] but those guys were pretty tall and she tapped on on the back and said,

[01:41:05] excuse me,

[01:41:06] sir.

[01:41:06] Could you sit down?

[01:41:07] He whipped around in ultimate gay guy fashion and goes,

[01:41:10] I don't think you understand.

[01:41:12] I have been the president of the Stevie Nicks wild heart fan club in Northern California since 1982.

[01:41:16] And no,

[01:41:17] I will not be sitting down.

[01:41:18] And I was like,

[01:41:19] Oh,

[01:41:20] mic drop.

[01:41:21] He quoted the album.

[01:41:22] He quoted the year.

[01:41:23] Done.

[01:41:24] It's not sitting down.

[01:41:25] It shut her up.

[01:41:26] Oh,

[01:41:27] yeah.

[01:41:27] I'm like,

[01:41:27] we're not going to sit down.

[01:41:28] No,

[01:41:29] it's at your 17.

[01:41:30] Never sat down.

[01:41:31] No,

[01:41:32] no,

[01:41:32] no,

[01:41:33] you're not supposed to sit down unless you're my friend,

[01:41:35] Bob and your knees hurt.

[01:41:36] And Tay Tay does go on too long for us.

[01:41:38] People,

[01:41:38] our age.

[01:41:39] I can't bounce for four hours.

[01:41:41] Four hours.

[01:41:41] I can't.

[01:41:42] I did.

[01:41:42] Yeah.

[01:41:43] I felt it.

[01:41:43] You can.

[01:41:44] I felt it for days.

[01:41:45] For days.

[01:41:46] Jesus Christ.

[01:41:47] Well,

[01:41:47] congratulations to everybody that had anything to do with that.

[01:41:50] That was a feat that will not be topped.

[01:41:51] I don't think in my lifetime.

[01:41:53] Doubt it.

[01:41:54] Who else would have the wherewithal?

[01:41:56] Bruce Springsteen is too old.

[01:41:57] Like he likes to do long shows,

[01:41:59] but he's too old.

[01:42:00] Mm hmm.

[01:42:02] All right.

[01:42:04] Termites.

[01:42:06] It's the holidays.

[01:42:07] Yep.

[01:42:08] Time for some flocking.

[01:42:10] Time to go buy a cheap vacuum.

[01:42:12] Here we go.

[01:42:12] Yep.

[01:42:12] There's gotta be a vacuum under six.

[01:42:14] No,

[01:42:14] if I can find a vacuum for 40,

[01:42:16] then I'm only in for a hundo,

[01:42:17] but I think I'll probably have to spend a hundo.

[01:42:20] No,

[01:42:20] no,

[01:42:20] probably 60 bucks.

[01:42:23] A cheap.

[01:42:23] Just want to.

[01:42:24] No,

[01:42:25] I'm not going to Goodwill.

[01:42:26] Somebody might need that vacuum at Goodwill.

[01:42:28] I'm going to go to,

[01:42:28] I have to go to target anyway.

[01:42:31] I'm just going to get the cheapest vacuum to have.

[01:42:36] And then I'm going to do those.

[01:42:37] I'm going to do,

[01:42:38] I'm going to do a flocking out in the driveway.

[01:42:40] Oh God.

[01:42:41] And I'm going to film it for Instagram and the TikTok.