Episode 201: Airport Trash Pandas, Team Building Cults, & Ranch Fixes Everything

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:25] Welcome!

[00:00:26] Whoa, Steve's fine. Oh shit, it broke. Oh well, I have another one. That's how resourceful this pubcast is.

[00:00:37] You have another Stevie doll?

[00:00:39] I do have another Stevie doll. A fan sent one. I bought one and then a termite sent one. Yeah, just in case for these kind of things. Welcome.

[00:00:46] Awesome. Stevie's been doing, oh, well, no. We have some Queen news on Stevie, we'll get to that. But there's Stevie. Sit down Stevie.

[00:00:55] She may have to go, I don't know. I'll have to get the new one out.

[00:00:59] Um, fire tonight. Episode 201. How crazy is that? I don't feel like I had the proper time to celebrate 200.

[00:01:08] You had a bit of a week.

[00:01:09] Too busy, too busy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Work, work, work. Boo, boo, boo.

[00:01:14] Boo. Um, what are we drinking? Let's start there. This is a honey rye ale from Crosstown Brewing in Memphis from Atlanta.

[00:01:24] Termite Steve and Danielle who came to the Ryman.

[00:01:26] Fun.

[00:01:27] Many, many beers brought back at the Ryman and I may or may not have given to them to the staff who were immensely appreciative, but most of it I took home.

[00:01:36] It was quite a party, though.

[00:01:37] Well, it was a big party. It was kind of crazy, ridiculous, like, I, yeah, I can't even, I don't know.

[00:01:45] A lot going on.

[00:01:46] Yeah.

[00:01:47] Yeah.

[00:01:47] A lot going on.

[00:01:48] Um, all right, we're drinking that and then I'm going to taste this. This is, I love moonshine, but everybody needs to know when you come to Nashville, if you go to my favorite bars like Bootleggers and you order moonshine, it's so good.

[00:02:00] It doesn't take, I mean, real, uh, pure moonshine tastes like, you know, it's moonshine. It's like, tastes like gasoline, but when they put the flavors in them, it's just delicious.

[00:02:09] It's amazing.

[00:02:10] Don't ever do more than two in a three hour period.

[00:02:16] So in your mind, you can have one every hour and a half, but don't ever go over three, but don't go over two.

[00:02:22] That's aggressive.

[00:02:23] It's aggressive, but I mean, I see what goes on downtown Nashville and everybody's being aggressive, for lack of a better word.

[00:02:31] Not aggressive. Everybody's very nice and it always feels safe, but the drinking, the drinkers go a little cuckoo town.

[00:02:36] And I'm saying, watch yourself on the moonshine because it's delicious.

[00:02:40] So this person brought me apple pie. Who brought this?

[00:02:44] From Cannon County Termites, Jennifer, her husband, Teddy, and their cat, Houdini.

[00:02:48] Great name for a cat.

[00:02:49] Nice.

[00:02:49] Yeah.

[00:02:50] Cool.

[00:02:50] I should have thought of better names than my, oh gosh, I can't get open.

[00:02:57] Oh, got it.

[00:02:58] Nice.

[00:02:59] Got it.

[00:02:59] That's my pickleball strength.

[00:03:03] Me and Picky dominated last night.

[00:03:05] Did you?

[00:03:05] Yeah, it's getting a little chilly out there though.

[00:03:09] I ordered water and I'm not going to do a lot of this because I have to drive the boat later.

[00:03:14] What?

[00:03:15] I have to take the boat on a final boat ride.

[00:03:18] It's cold.

[00:03:19] It's chilly.

[00:03:19] I'm bundled.

[00:03:20] I'm Canadian bundling up.

[00:03:23] It's got to be done before the boat guy comes to winterize it.

[00:03:26] I got to make sure.

[00:03:26] I haven't been in here.

[00:03:28] All right, here we go.

[00:03:28] This is apple pie moonshine.

[00:03:33] See, it's delicious.

[00:03:35] Tastes like apple pie.

[00:03:36] I want some.

[00:03:37] Yeah.

[00:03:37] Yeah.

[00:03:38] And look at that tiny flask.

[00:03:39] Once I empty that, that's going everywhere.

[00:03:41] Boom.

[00:03:41] Yeah.

[00:03:42] Yeah.

[00:03:42] Right.

[00:03:42] Yeah.

[00:03:43] All right.

[00:03:44] Good job.

[00:03:45] Thank you, termites.

[00:03:46] And then I'm drinking a Bloody Mary with Shine Girl Vodka, which is Daniel, it's Daniel

[00:03:51] Parton, which is Dolly Parton's niece.

[00:03:53] Not only is she a pilot, that girl, this girl is unbelievable.

[00:03:57] She's got all of the Dolly get up and go.

[00:03:58] She also has her own liquor company and this is the vodka.

[00:04:02] It's amazing.

[00:04:02] Yeah.

[00:04:03] I didn't even know where you could buy that.

[00:04:05] That's from Sevierville Termites, Carol and Judy.

[00:04:07] Nice.

[00:04:08] So thank you.

[00:04:09] What are we going to eat?

[00:04:10] We have three things.

[00:04:11] Wait, taste your vodka.

[00:04:12] Well, it's in a Bloody Mary.

[00:04:13] Well, it's in a Bloody Mary, but hey, I can't really totally tell the difference.

[00:04:18] I'm not.

[00:04:18] I feel by Moonshine with a Bloody Mary chaser.

[00:04:22] It's great.

[00:04:23] Nice.

[00:04:23] Yeah.

[00:04:24] Good job, Daniel.

[00:04:26] Yeah, this kid is very successful.

[00:04:28] She's probably 40, if I say kid.

[00:04:31] Aw, Shine Girl.

[00:04:31] She's probably 50.

[00:04:33] No.

[00:04:35] It's her niece.

[00:04:36] It's a cool...

[00:04:38] Yeah, she signed it.

[00:04:41] 100% neutral spirit distilled from Karn.

[00:04:44] It's from Karn.

[00:04:45] It's Karn vodka.

[00:04:47] Yeah.

[00:04:47] Well, I had potato vodka.

[00:04:49] Pure potato vodka in Afghanistan.

[00:04:52] This is how I know I'm not a raging alcoholic.

[00:04:55] No way.

[00:04:56] Took one drink and went, no.

[00:04:57] How old?

[00:04:58] She was born in 1976.

[00:05:00] 1976.

[00:05:00] Oh, she's 48.

[00:05:01] 48.

[00:05:02] See, I said 40.

[00:05:04] You said 50.

[00:05:04] Well, you win.

[00:05:06] Yep.

[00:05:06] You win the over-under.

[00:05:08] We'll explain that.

[00:05:10] Huckleberry gummies.

[00:05:11] These are wild.

[00:05:11] These are from Montana.

[00:05:14] From Bridget and Kai.

[00:05:16] Did they come all the way to the Ryman?

[00:05:17] No.

[00:05:18] Oh, my God.

[00:05:20] God.

[00:05:22] That's why I've never called in sick.

[00:05:26] Right.

[00:05:26] Because I think...

[00:05:27] Well, people flew...

[00:05:28] It's not like when I had a real job.

[00:05:30] Nobody flew in to see me make a magazine.

[00:05:33] I mean...

[00:05:34] No.

[00:05:34] All right.

[00:05:35] I'm going to do it.

[00:05:35] These are gummy bears.

[00:05:36] Huckleberry.

[00:05:37] You can smell the huckleberry when you open the thing.

[00:05:40] I can smell it.

[00:05:40] Yeah.

[00:05:41] They're very gummy.

[00:05:44] Well, I do like huckleberry.

[00:05:46] Yeah.

[00:05:46] Jelly.

[00:05:47] They're good.

[00:05:48] Good.

[00:05:48] You just got to have some...

[00:05:49] The official berry of Montana.

[00:05:51] Is it?

[00:05:52] No.

[00:05:53] I don't know.

[00:05:53] You just made that up?

[00:05:54] It's a lot.

[00:05:54] Just because you're Canadian?

[00:05:55] You think you can make northern facts up about this goddamn country?

[00:06:01] They're good.

[00:06:02] They're very good.

[00:06:03] Well done.

[00:06:04] We're going to go for another one of Clark's Korean Lay's potato chips.

[00:06:08] Research.

[00:06:09] Assistant Clark.

[00:06:10] This flavor is cucumber.

[00:06:12] You better show Bob that, too.

[00:06:13] Bob, Bob.

[00:06:14] Yeah, but Clark made a special trip to the Korean grocery store for this.

[00:06:17] I don't believe Bob went.

[00:06:19] Yeah, he did.

[00:06:20] Mm.

[00:06:20] Yeah.

[00:06:21] Did he?

[00:06:21] Yeah.

[00:06:21] All right.

[00:06:22] Well, then I'll give him a shout-out, too.

[00:06:24] Uh-huh.

[00:06:26] Cucumber chips.

[00:06:28] Wow.

[00:06:30] Now, if you love cucumbers...

[00:06:33] Then eat a cucumber.

[00:06:34] Then they're great.

[00:06:35] But I just have a cucumber with ranch on it.

[00:06:37] Yeah.

[00:06:38] Yeah.

[00:06:39] I never thought of ranch.

[00:06:40] Yeah.

[00:06:40] Ranch on cucumbers?

[00:06:42] No, on those chips.

[00:06:43] Well, yeah, you could dip these in ranch.

[00:06:45] Totally.

[00:06:46] You just sounded so Midwest.

[00:06:48] Right.

[00:06:48] Ranch fixes everything.

[00:06:49] If you have something horrible, ranch will fix it.

[00:06:52] These are not for me, but I still like the Italian meat one.

[00:06:57] But the bag's pretty.

[00:06:58] And if you want to feel like you're eating something healthy when you're not,

[00:07:04] here's a cucumber, but it's really a potato chip.

[00:07:07] They really are brave on their flavors, this Korean company.

[00:07:11] Jesus Christ.

[00:07:12] Wow.

[00:07:13] Who would think to put them together?

[00:07:15] I wouldn't.

[00:07:16] It's for...

[00:07:17] Last thing, then we're going to get to it.

[00:07:19] It's for vegetables.

[00:07:19] Homemade potato chips.

[00:07:20] These are gibbles.

[00:07:21] They came from Hagerstown.

[00:07:23] Turn right.

[00:07:24] Tracy.

[00:07:25] Okay.

[00:07:26] Sorry I didn't pre-open these.

[00:07:27] That's usually my job.

[00:07:29] But I failed.

[00:07:30] Because I know that noise.

[00:07:31] Oh, man.

[00:07:32] It's annoying.

[00:07:33] I know.

[00:07:34] Just go.

[00:07:35] God.

[00:07:35] This podcast is free.

[00:07:37] That's all I got to say.

[00:07:38] It's too early for that.

[00:07:39] I cannot.

[00:07:39] Look at all the work I've done.

[00:07:41] Got this shitty guy.

[00:07:42] It's nine o'clock in the morning.

[00:07:43] I don't know.

[00:07:44] It's early.

[00:07:46] Oh.

[00:07:48] These gibbles are really good.

[00:07:49] Where are these made?

[00:07:52] Oh, they're best nibbled on by.

[00:07:54] How cute is that?

[00:07:55] Oh.

[00:07:56] They're very fresh because they expire on Christmas.

[00:07:59] I better get to eating.

[00:08:00] Kids are eating.

[00:08:01] Oh.

[00:08:03] Chambersburg, Pennsylvania.

[00:08:04] Nice.

[00:08:05] American family owned and operated.

[00:08:07] Made in the USA.

[00:08:08] Come on, America.

[00:08:09] Let's do it.

[00:08:10] We can do it.

[00:08:17] Regarding the election, I'll say congratulations to all my friends who like Trump.

[00:08:21] I would just like to point out that Christy Noem has been, he's going to order the head

[00:08:29] of the Portland Home Security or some check.

[00:08:32] Now, here's the thing.

[00:08:34] Christy shot her own dog.

[00:08:35] That caused a big problem.

[00:08:37] Yeah.

[00:08:37] And you know what?

[00:08:38] If you did do that, probably don't write it in your bio.

[00:08:40] I'm just saying, leave that out.

[00:08:42] Some things are private.

[00:08:43] Some things are private.

[00:08:45] But my favorite is, and this isn't talking down.

[00:08:48] This is just shit.

[00:08:49] I don't know how you got a GED even if you have one.

[00:08:52] She thought Texas was part of the original 13 colonies.

[00:08:58] I mean, what are we doing?

[00:09:01] Yeah.

[00:09:02] They have it on film.

[00:09:03] I don't know.

[00:09:04] You know what?

[00:09:05] Has she ever been to the Alamo?

[00:09:12] I would.

[00:09:13] When somebody says something like that, you just go, yeah, I totally remember that.

[00:09:17] And move on.

[00:09:18] Just move on.

[00:09:19] All right.

[00:09:20] You know what?

[00:09:21] She's pretty.

[00:09:22] That'll get you somewhere.

[00:09:24] Okay.

[00:09:24] No, Pinky Tito is very excited.

[00:09:27] My Trump friends are very excited, which is great.

[00:09:30] You know what?

[00:09:31] Everybody wants a big change.

[00:09:32] We're going to get one.

[00:09:33] We'll see what happens.

[00:09:34] Yeah.

[00:09:35] Yeah.

[00:09:35] Okay.

[00:09:36] I'm just going to sit back and watch a movie.

[00:09:37] All of my California friends are in severe freakout.

[00:09:40] I'm like, mm.

[00:09:42] That's what Bloody Mary moonshine is for.

[00:09:45] Listen, we live in a state in Tennessee and Missouri because now the Ozarks makes their

[00:09:50] own moonshine.

[00:09:50] Right.

[00:09:51] And the Missouri Ozarks.

[00:09:52] I'm surrounded by moonshine.

[00:09:53] I don't really, if I wanted to, I don't have to give any shits about what's going on anywhere

[00:09:59] other than these two states.

[00:10:01] Right.

[00:10:01] Yeah.

[00:10:02] I just become provincial.

[00:10:03] Other than this house, actually.

[00:10:05] Other.

[00:10:05] All right.

[00:10:05] Right.

[00:10:06] I did it during COVID.

[00:10:08] Okay.

[00:10:09] You and Baby Cat in your liquor room.

[00:10:11] Me and Baby Cat hide in the liquor room.

[00:10:13] Chapel comes in occasionally.

[00:10:14] Jumps in my lap.

[00:10:16] Nice.

[00:10:17] Cedric, the visitor who now just basically lives here.

[00:10:20] Did you adopt him?

[00:10:21] Well, he comes over for breakfast, dinner, and he has a late night snack before I take

[00:10:27] it in because of the raccoons.

[00:10:29] Or I'll put it back out for him because he's late.

[00:10:32] Where does he go?

[00:10:33] Yeah.

[00:10:33] I don't know where the fuck he goes.

[00:10:35] I don't know where he came from.

[00:10:36] He's definitely a woods guy.

[00:10:38] He's kind of battered, but I can't get close.

[00:10:41] Eventually I will.

[00:10:42] And I'll take him to a vet eventually.

[00:10:43] But for now, we're just going to let him enjoy being Cedric.

[00:10:46] Okay.

[00:10:47] Yeah.

[00:10:47] Hanging out by the pool.

[00:10:48] I like it.

[00:10:49] Yeah.

[00:10:49] Um, this is the Madigan's, uh, podcast, Baby Cat hoodie.

[00:10:53] Never done a hoodie before.

[00:10:54] Never done a hoodie.

[00:10:55] If you want, are these online?

[00:10:57] Yeah, they're online.

[00:10:58] I didn't look.

[00:10:58] We only did a limited run.

[00:11:00] Limited run.

[00:11:00] There's Baby Cat.

[00:11:01] If you can see it, if you're on YouTube.

[00:11:04] So that's your winter wear.

[00:11:05] It's so soft.

[00:11:06] It's a nice weight.

[00:11:07] I know I brag about it, but I mean it.

[00:11:09] I do not skimp on merch.

[00:11:11] No.

[00:11:11] I hate it.

[00:11:12] Okay.

[00:11:12] Look at this judge shirt I'm wearing.

[00:11:14] Where did you get that?

[00:11:16] Oh my God.

[00:11:18] I got it at a Winona show because I thought Brian Dorff, Little Dorff, told me it was going

[00:11:24] to be a tribute to the Judds.

[00:11:26] So I thought there'd be all these home movies and, well, we drove, wasn't that far, an hour

[00:11:32] to, to, to the original one where her and Mama.

[00:11:37] I just know stories about them because my friend Lorene used to produce the Bob Hope

[00:11:41] show, his specials, and the Judds were on them.

[00:11:46] They're just, they make me laugh.

[00:11:47] The, the mama, mama and daughter fighting makes me laugh.

[00:11:51] But this shirt is so, I wonder if this is the original one they redid it.

[00:11:56] Probably.

[00:11:56] It looks like 80s, doesn't it?

[00:11:58] Those are bangs.

[00:11:58] The bangs.

[00:11:59] The hair.

[00:12:02] But, but like, this is a good shirt.

[00:12:04] I would give the Judds credit.

[00:12:05] It's a, it's a cozy long sleeve.

[00:12:07] I don't like it when I go and buy a shirt that then feels like cardboard.

[00:12:12] No.

[00:12:12] And you spent, you don't, you know, it's 35 bucks, 40 bucks.

[00:12:15] It's 50 sometimes.

[00:12:17] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:17] What concert did I just go to?

[00:12:20] Cindy Lauper.

[00:12:20] Right.

[00:12:21] Cindy Lauper.

[00:12:21] See, I don't even remember.

[00:12:22] It was only a week ago.

[00:12:24] You've got a lot going on.

[00:12:25] Cindy didn't have a lot of merch.

[00:12:27] No?

[00:12:27] Well, it's her last thing out.

[00:12:29] I think she doesn't give a shit.

[00:12:30] But, merch is a pain in the ass.

[00:12:32] Yeah.

[00:12:32] You've got to be dedicated.

[00:12:33] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:34] I'm partially dedicated.

[00:12:36] Anyway.

[00:12:37] So, that's that.

[00:12:38] You're going to tell Boston what you're doing for them?

[00:12:39] Boston?

[00:12:41] What are you doing for Boston?

[00:12:42] I made a special shirt for Boston.

[00:12:43] Ah!

[00:12:44] Yes.

[00:12:45] That deserves a go.

[00:12:46] Because there's two, well, right.

[00:12:47] It deserves, wait, we have a new, oh, wait.

[00:12:51] Here's the thing.

[00:12:52] We have a new, but this doesn't really fit this thing, but we have a new.

[00:12:58] It's Mr. Bill from Saturday Night Live.

[00:13:00] A hundred years ago.

[00:13:00] For the children, you'll have to look it up.

[00:13:02] I can't explain it.

[00:13:03] And then, um, a Bigfoot caller.

[00:13:06] What is that?

[00:13:07] I blow into it.

[00:13:08] Ready?

[00:13:08] And I'm going to call Bigfoot.

[00:13:12] Yes.

[00:13:13] Guess who hates it?

[00:13:14] Baby Cat.

[00:13:14] She just gave me a shitty look.

[00:13:16] She does not like it.

[00:13:17] Nope.

[00:13:17] Nope.

[00:13:19] So, uh, the Bigfoot is from Carol and Judy and then Mr. Bill Dallas from Jennifer and

[00:13:23] Teddy.

[00:13:23] So thank you guys.

[00:13:24] Uh, upcoming shows.

[00:13:25] Bassin?

[00:13:26] Yeah.

[00:13:26] November 15th and 16th.

[00:13:28] This weekend.

[00:13:28] Uh, this weekend.

[00:13:29] I think there are tickets left for both shows.

[00:13:31] Not many.

[00:13:32] You just dumped them.

[00:13:33] You just dumped your tickets.

[00:13:34] I dumped mine, too.

[00:13:35] Yeah.

[00:13:35] The ones, yeah.

[00:13:37] Because I get secret ones.

[00:13:38] And then if I'm not going to use them, I put them back in stock.

[00:13:41] And, uh, there, the tickets, there's not a bad seat at the Wilbur.

[00:13:45] So if you look on the seat map and go, oh, I don't want, it's fine.

[00:13:48] I promise you.

[00:13:49] It's small enough, but yet big enough.

[00:13:52] It's perfect.

[00:13:53] Come get a t-shirt.

[00:13:53] Yes.

[00:13:55] And my friend Taylor, who's in charge of the whole thing, makes everything so easy.

[00:13:58] I don't have to think about shit.

[00:14:00] I just go in there, tell Joe Kelly McFarlane will be opening.

[00:14:02] Yay!

[00:14:03] Yes.

[00:14:04] Fun.

[00:14:04] Then Riverside, November 23rd, Riverside, California.

[00:14:07] Uh, December 6th, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania.

[00:14:10] December 7th, Ben Salem.

[00:14:12] That's Parks Casino.

[00:14:13] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:14] Uh, January 17th, Omaha.

[00:14:16] Omaha-ha-ha-ha.

[00:14:17] January 18th.

[00:14:18] It's going to be so fun to be in Cedar Falls, Iowa in January.

[00:14:23] No.

[00:14:23] I'm not getting out of long underwear, even when I go to bed.

[00:14:26] I'm going to have long underwear on the whole time.

[00:14:28] Cedar Falls, Iowa.

[00:14:30] 23rd, uh, Spokane, basically, the Casino Airway Heights.

[00:14:33] Washington, the 25th, Arizona.

[00:14:36] Getting warmer.

[00:14:37] Getting warmer.

[00:14:38] And then all the 2025 dates are on the website for, uh, the day drinking tour.

[00:14:43] So, let's move on to, um, before I get to the Queen News.

[00:14:49] The Ryman, for you people asking, uh, the comedian that went first.

[00:14:53] Aaron Weber.

[00:14:54] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:54] A-A-R-O-N.

[00:14:56] Put it in the schnotes.

[00:14:57] Put it in the schnotes.

[00:14:58] Yeah.

[00:14:58] Very funny.

[00:14:59] He crushed it.

[00:15:00] It was great.

[00:15:02] One night.

[00:15:02] Mm-hmm.

[00:15:03] Yeah.

[00:15:05] Lots of people backstage.

[00:15:06] I saw your pictures.

[00:15:07] It was a little pretty.

[00:15:08] It was a little overwhelming.

[00:15:10] And then the, the, the, the people, the staff at the Ryman, it's a historical place if you've

[00:15:15] never heard of it.

[00:15:15] It used to be where the Grand Ole Opry used to be.

[00:15:18] Then they moved it out into, like, this giant strip mall.

[00:15:22] And I feel bad because sometimes I think old people are buying a ticket to go to the Grand

[00:15:25] Ole Opry.

[00:15:25] And then they end up downtown.

[00:15:27] They end up in the Burbs, not downtown.

[00:15:28] They do bus them down there.

[00:15:30] But, like, that's where I would plan my escape.

[00:15:33] Right.

[00:15:33] I'd be like, oh, shit.

[00:15:34] We could have been down here.

[00:15:35] Where's the moonshine?

[00:15:36] Right.

[00:15:37] Yeah.

[00:15:38] But the actual Ryman itself, 1892.

[00:15:40] Here's what's crazy is I, if I stand on the stage and have one of the kids run up to

[00:15:47] the top and then I just talk without a mic, they can hear me the exact same way as they

[00:15:50] can with a mic.

[00:15:51] That's how good the acoustics were built back then because they didn't have microphones.

[00:15:54] Yeah.

[00:15:55] It's crazy.

[00:15:56] It's just one of the best gigs of the year because it's historical.

[00:15:58] The staff there, they do a show every goddamn night.

[00:16:02] I mean, they can do anything.

[00:16:03] Yeah.

[00:16:04] And they're all nice.

[00:16:04] But one of the kids brought back, like, this girl's like, here's 20 posters.

[00:16:09] They all have special instructions.

[00:16:10] Do you sign?

[00:16:11] I go, yep, just leave them there.

[00:16:12] I could, whoever wrote it, I couldn't really read the handwriting and I thought it said happy

[00:16:17] anniversary.

[00:16:17] So I signed.

[00:16:20] I fucked up a bunch of posters and then I was like, oh.

[00:16:25] Happy anniversary.

[00:16:25] Okay.

[00:16:26] Well, I thought it was the Ryman's anniversary or something.

[00:16:28] I'm like, I don't know.

[00:16:29] What year is it?

[00:16:30] I don't, I have no idea.

[00:16:32] People ask for a lot weirder than that to be signed.

[00:16:34] So I just do whatever I'm told.

[00:16:36] And then I was like, sorry, I just ruined a bunch of your posters if you want.

[00:16:40] Your posters.

[00:16:40] Yeah.

[00:16:41] Saving for the anniversary.

[00:16:42] It was a great night.

[00:16:46] Also.

[00:16:46] How was the show?

[00:16:47] The show.

[00:16:48] The show was phenomenal.

[00:16:49] The crowd is so great there.

[00:16:50] I mean, I've been there to see a bunch of shows.

[00:16:53] I've never seen a shitty night.

[00:16:54] It's just the vibe of the place.

[00:16:56] Yeah, it's cool.

[00:16:57] I would say though, if your back hurts, those pews can get weird after an hour and a half.

[00:17:01] That's why I think me and Aaron did an hour 45 together.

[00:17:04] Yeah, they're the two of us.

[00:17:06] Past two hours, your ass is going to hurt if you're over the age of 40.

[00:17:09] You're standing up.

[00:17:10] Yep.

[00:17:11] Well, you should be standing up.

[00:17:12] Well, not for comedy.

[00:17:13] But like, yeah, I mean, I got to see Anita Baker there.

[00:17:16] How crazy is that?

[00:17:18] Country people, I don't really know.

[00:17:20] I've seen them.

[00:17:22] Tanya Tucker.

[00:17:23] Saw Tanya Tucker there.

[00:17:25] I had to go, yeah, I'll go to anything at the Ryman.

[00:17:26] I don't care.

[00:17:27] Brenda Lee.

[00:17:28] Remember that?

[00:17:29] Brenda Lee.

[00:17:29] Brenda Lee?

[00:17:30] I thought she was a lady from Poltergeist.

[00:17:31] I'm like, why is the lady from Poltergeist?

[00:17:33] I can't.

[00:17:34] Come to the light, Mary Ann.

[00:17:35] That's who I thought it was.

[00:17:36] And it was some lady, Brenda Lee.

[00:17:38] She's literally like four foot five.

[00:17:40] But her hair is another foot.

[00:17:43] And then, yeah, she was part of Tanya's.

[00:17:45] But she sang a Christmas song and it wasn't even close to Christmas.

[00:17:48] I'm like, what is her famous song?

[00:17:51] Rocking around the Christmas tree.

[00:17:53] Okay.

[00:17:55] Also, if you Midwest people care, there's a podcast called Cripescast with my friend

[00:18:02] Charlie Brennan?

[00:18:04] Barron's.

[00:18:04] Barron's.

[00:18:05] I always say it wrong.

[00:18:06] There's a Charlie Brennan somewhere else.

[00:18:08] And it was super fun.

[00:18:10] It's kind of Midwest centric.

[00:18:12] Yeah.

[00:18:12] So if you're not from the Midwest, I don't know that you would care as much.

[00:18:16] I liked it.

[00:18:16] But if you are interested in that, I'm going to keep posting clips if I can get them from

[00:18:21] Charlie because it was a really fun night.

[00:18:24] Let's move on.

[00:18:25] Queen and King.

[00:18:26] Was there anything else?

[00:18:28] The Chiefs barely won.

[00:18:29] We'll talk football for a second.

[00:18:30] Yeah.

[00:18:31] Jamar Chase got 55 points in fantasy football.

[00:18:34] I...

[00:18:35] And I have them in one league.

[00:18:37] And the other, I do not.

[00:18:39] Lewis fucking beat me last night.

[00:18:41] No!

[00:18:41] No!

[00:18:42] By the skin of his teeth.

[00:18:43] Because the Detroit Lions did not play their best game.

[00:18:46] I have Jerry Goff.

[00:18:47] He threw five interceptions.

[00:18:48] I just kept watching my points go negative, negative.

[00:18:51] I'm like, you are a quarterback.

[00:18:52] Right.

[00:18:52] You can't go negative.

[00:18:54] Well, he got it to the positive side, but it wasn't good.

[00:18:57] And then Lewis barely beat me, though.

[00:18:59] But I'm sinking in the rankings.

[00:19:01] But I'm winning in the other one.

[00:19:03] Dominating.

[00:19:03] I have, like, so many points.

[00:19:05] It's ridiculous.

[00:19:08] Cowboys lost again.

[00:19:10] Jerry Jones.

[00:19:11] I didn't care.

[00:19:12] Just down there sucking the life out of the room with his theories and ideas.

[00:19:16] Now the players are mouthing off in the locker room.

[00:19:20] And then they're blaming the media.

[00:19:21] Dude, we filmed it.

[00:19:22] Right.

[00:19:22] You can't blame the media if it's on film.

[00:19:24] You can say, look, it didn't come out how I meant.

[00:19:27] Right.

[00:19:28] But I...

[00:19:29] Yeah, it's that Micah Parsons.

[00:19:31] And I don't even disagree with what he said.

[00:19:33] No.

[00:19:33] But just own it.

[00:19:34] Say you said it.

[00:19:35] What did your boyfriend say?

[00:19:36] My boyfriend, Stephen A. Smith?

[00:19:38] What did he say about Micah?

[00:19:39] Yeah.

[00:19:40] I don't know.

[00:19:40] I forgot.

[00:19:42] He just said he's telling the truth.

[00:19:43] It's all truthfulness.

[00:19:44] It's truthfulness.

[00:19:45] Yeah.

[00:19:45] He's telling the truth.

[00:19:46] It's truthfulness.

[00:19:47] Mm-hmm.

[00:19:48] Mm-hmm.

[00:19:48] Yeah.

[00:19:50] So, Cowboys, I don't even know what to say.

[00:19:51] I can't even believe.

[00:19:53] But it's like you pointed out.

[00:19:55] If they're going to play the Eagles next weekend.

[00:19:58] Mm-hmm.

[00:19:58] So, way back when the schedule came out in August, people probably went, yeah, I want

[00:20:05] to go see Cowboys-Eagles, a rivalry, same division, all that.

[00:20:09] Because I can't believe people are still attending.

[00:20:11] Especially, Cowboy tickets are very expensive.

[00:20:13] They are not like Titans tickets.

[00:20:15] Every week they call me.

[00:20:16] Yeah.

[00:20:16] Yeah.

[00:20:17] Kathleen, what's it going to take you to get season tickets?

[00:20:19] Hi, Matt.

[00:20:19] I know it's you.

[00:20:20] Here's the thing, Matt.

[00:20:22] Is there a new quarterback yet?

[00:20:23] Matt, what are you going to pay me to come down there and act like I give a shit?

[00:20:26] I will wear a Titans jersey.

[00:20:28] I have one.

[00:20:29] I will do it.

[00:20:30] But what are you giving me, Matt?

[00:20:32] Hot dog?

[00:20:32] Free hot dog?

[00:20:33] Hmm?

[00:20:34] Hmm?

[00:20:34] For a free hot dog.

[00:20:35] How about a free beer every quarter?

[00:20:37] Hmm?

[00:20:38] Hmm?

[00:20:38] A moonshine every quarter.

[00:20:39] Yeah.

[00:20:40] How about a shot?

[00:20:40] Just one shot of moonshine from Old Smoky Distillery.

[00:20:44] How about that?

[00:20:45] Totally.

[00:20:45] Well, so that was a football.

[00:20:49] It's just a mess.

[00:20:50] The Cowboys are a complete mess.

[00:20:53] Miami didn't look that great.

[00:20:54] No?

[00:20:55] Where are you in your fantasy?

[00:20:56] Scattered.

[00:20:57] I'm in seventh out of eighth place in one and first in another.

[00:21:02] I dropped.

[00:21:03] I know.

[00:21:03] I was dominating my cousin Mike's wife, Hurricane Khan.

[00:21:07] That's her name.

[00:21:10] Hurricane Connie.

[00:21:11] It's her first year playing.

[00:21:13] And she's winning?

[00:21:13] She's winning.

[00:21:14] She's dominating.

[00:21:15] She wants to go to every game now.

[00:21:17] She's all in.

[00:21:18] Some people get in and go, oh, this is too time consuming.

[00:21:21] But it's really not.

[00:21:22] You just got to pay attention on Tuesday and then have fun on the weekend.

[00:21:24] Tuesday's a trading day.

[00:21:26] Tuesday's where you got to go get the good people that other people are dropping.

[00:21:29] And now Mike has his dream wife.

[00:21:30] Yep.

[00:21:31] And I just gave my cousin Mike the greatest present ever.

[00:21:34] Exactly.

[00:21:35] Because now your wife will never get mad at you again for watching all your football.

[00:21:38] And she's going to be the one saying, let's get that NFL package on YouTube and let's get,

[00:21:43] sign me up.

[00:21:44] I don't care if it's eight grand.

[00:21:45] I need to see the goddamn Jaguars play the Panthers in Munich.

[00:21:50] What?

[00:21:50] Exactly.

[00:21:52] Huh?

[00:21:53] Queen news.

[00:21:55] Oh, my God.

[00:21:57] Chapel Rhone.

[00:21:59] This is just so great.

[00:22:01] So she's from a little town.

[00:22:03] The biggest little town by her.

[00:22:06] Well, I guess I call it a medium town from Missouri to Springfield, Missouri.

[00:22:09] And I do love Springfield.

[00:22:10] Well, my mom had breast cancer.

[00:22:11] She had to have radiation there every day for six weeks.

[00:22:14] So we all took a week driving her down there.

[00:22:16] And I really got to know it.

[00:22:18] Like, I didn't really know.

[00:22:19] Honestly, St. Louis people look at Springfield and go, I don't know, kind of Christian-y.

[00:22:24] Christian-y.

[00:22:25] Yeah, a little uptight.

[00:22:28] Christian-y, not for us.

[00:22:30] That's how we would view that.

[00:22:33] But I got to find really cool.

[00:22:35] It's much hipper than people think.

[00:22:37] But anyway, she, Chapel said, hello.

[00:22:40] This is off Instagram, I think.

[00:22:42] I signed a limited number of Rolling Stones covers for my hometown Springfield, Missouri,

[00:22:47] queer charity event.

[00:22:48] And online bidding starts.

[00:22:50] I know.

[00:22:51] I'm like, wow.

[00:22:52] Springfield has really progressed.

[00:22:54] I don't think this would have been loud news before.

[00:22:58] Online bidding starts November 13th at 6.

[00:23:00] 100% protease.

[00:23:02] Go to local gay charities initiatives.

[00:23:05] Good for her.

[00:23:07] Yeah, because she's still, she has good penmanship, too.

[00:23:12] Yeah, I judge on that.

[00:23:14] It's very legible.

[00:23:15] Maybe she went to Catholic school.

[00:23:16] I don't think she went to Catholic school.

[00:23:18] No.

[00:23:18] No, I think if you Wikipedia it, it's, there are some Catholic schools down there now, too.

[00:23:23] Before, there would have never been.

[00:23:25] It was like Southern Baptist or Pentecost, Assembly of God, all the stuff where the Catholics

[00:23:29] and the Jews are like, do what?

[00:23:31] No.

[00:23:32] Right.

[00:23:32] You just made that religion up an hour ago.

[00:23:34] Come on.

[00:23:35] Get with something with history, for God's sake.

[00:23:37] No.

[00:23:39] All right.

[00:23:39] I'm going to put this over here.

[00:23:41] Making a little mess of myself.

[00:23:42] There's too much shit on this desk this week.

[00:23:44] I apologize if I'm scattered.

[00:23:46] What's going on here?

[00:23:46] And I don't even have a good reason to be scattered.

[00:23:48] I had a relatively good night's sleep until about, I don't know, 2.30 a.m.

[00:23:53] Baby Cat decided to get on the top of the bed and just, boom, pounce me.

[00:23:58] Meow.

[00:23:58] That's fun.

[00:23:59] But she announces she's coming in.

[00:24:00] It's like the roadrunner.

[00:24:01] Meow, meow.

[00:24:02] Meow, meow.

[00:24:03] And that means we're all up.

[00:24:04] And she wants nothing.

[00:24:06] No.

[00:24:07] I read on somewhere that if they are yours, they view you as the primary hunter of their gang.

[00:24:15] Yeah.

[00:24:15] That's the wrong word, but whatever it's called.

[00:24:17] And if you sleep too long, they think you've died.

[00:24:20] What?

[00:24:20] Yeah.

[00:24:21] They want you, just make sure you're still good.

[00:24:23] Do you think her brain's that big to come up with that?

[00:24:26] Yeah, I do think her brain's that big.

[00:24:27] I don't think so.

[00:24:28] I do.

[00:24:29] I don't know what I'll look.

[00:24:29] I do.

[00:24:30] I think she has instinctive things.

[00:24:33] Okay.

[00:24:34] It's not really a thought.

[00:24:35] It's just how she feels.

[00:24:37] Okay.

[00:24:37] My main hunter is dead.

[00:24:40] So let's make sure she's not.

[00:24:42] And then she bombs me.

[00:24:45] Okay.

[00:24:47] Stevie, Queen Stevie.

[00:24:49] That was a little chap.

[00:24:50] I have more chapel too.

[00:24:51] Queen Stevie has done a Christmas song with Jason Kelsey.

[00:24:54] I saw that.

[00:24:55] Now here's the thing.

[00:24:56] I'm getting a little Kelsey'd out.

[00:24:57] A lot of Kelsey.

[00:24:58] A lot of Kelsey.

[00:24:59] A lot of the Mannings.

[00:25:00] But the Manning, Eli's my favorite because he's low key.

[00:25:03] Yeah.

[00:25:03] Peyton, I mean, how many commercials can you do?

[00:25:06] They have a thing in LA, well, in show business called a Q rating where they present you to

[00:25:11] focus groups and then they rank you and all this crap.

[00:25:14] He must have a Q rating of a million.

[00:25:16] It's like a hundred questions.

[00:25:17] Do you trust this person?

[00:25:18] Would you loan this person money?

[00:25:19] Do you believe what they say?

[00:25:21] And then, you know, if you get a 10 out of 10, like you're, that's a Q rating.

[00:25:24] Right.

[00:25:25] It's also based on popularity.

[00:25:26] But his must be a million because they hire him for everything.

[00:25:28] I'm just a little Peyton out and I'm a little Kelsey'd out.

[00:25:31] I'm never Eli'd out because Eli doesn't do that much.

[00:25:33] He just does his football Monday night as Manning cast and it's fine.

[00:25:39] But anyway, I don't really know why Stevie hooked up with Jason, but he can sing.

[00:25:44] It's a good little song.

[00:25:45] It's a great song.

[00:25:45] Yeah, I liked it.

[00:25:46] Yeah.

[00:25:47] And I thought, oh no, is Stevie going to be weird again?

[00:25:51] You know, Christmas, like, uh-oh, uh-oh.

[00:25:54] I hope somebody reined it in.

[00:25:55] It's really cute.

[00:25:56] The video is really cute too.

[00:25:58] Well done, Queen Stevie.

[00:26:00] He was totally starstruck.

[00:26:01] Yeah, I know.

[00:26:02] He was like, and I wouldn't think a guy his age would care that much about

[00:26:07] Stevie Nicks.

[00:26:08] Yeah.

[00:26:09] Well, like my brother would kind of care.

[00:26:13] My younger brother.

[00:26:15] My older brother's might.

[00:26:16] Jason Kelsey's 37.

[00:26:18] He's 37.

[00:26:20] I just wouldn't think he'd care as much as he clearly was enamored.

[00:26:23] She's a rock star.

[00:26:24] I understand.

[00:26:25] So is Grace Slick.

[00:26:27] Nobody gives a shit.

[00:26:28] Oh, you cannot put those two in the same.

[00:26:30] Come on.

[00:26:31] Go ask Alice.

[00:26:34] Go ahead.

[00:26:35] Ask Alice.

[00:26:36] She'll tell you.

[00:26:37] That's an old one for you children.

[00:26:39] I always forget if it was Jefferson Starship or Jefferson Airplane.

[00:26:43] Were they the same band and changed their name?

[00:26:44] No.

[00:26:45] Well, Google which one was Grace with.

[00:26:47] I didn't know she was part of either.

[00:26:49] What?

[00:26:50] I don't know who Alice is.

[00:26:51] Who's Alice?

[00:26:52] What?

[00:26:52] You don't know Go Ask Alice?

[00:26:54] Is that a song?

[00:26:55] Yes.

[00:26:56] It's a drug song.

[00:26:57] A drunk song?

[00:26:58] Drug.

[00:26:59] Drug.

[00:26:59] Drug.

[00:27:07] Slick.

[00:27:08] I think it was Starship.

[00:27:10] Grace Slick.

[00:27:11] Jefferson Airplane.

[00:27:12] Oh, I was wrong.

[00:27:13] And Jefferson Starship, which then became Starship.

[00:27:15] See?

[00:27:16] So airplane, Starship, whatever.

[00:27:18] What's Google their biggest hit?

[00:27:19] Whose?

[00:27:21] Just Grace Slick.

[00:27:22] Hot Tuna.

[00:27:23] Hot Tuna?

[00:27:24] I don't know that one.

[00:27:25] Yeah, we'll see.

[00:27:26] Do Go Ask Alice.

[00:27:28] I think that was the chorus.

[00:27:30] I don't really know now that I think about it.

[00:27:32] Go Ask Alice.

[00:27:32] It is Go Ask Alice.

[00:27:33] Jefferson Airplane.

[00:27:33] Jefferson Airplane.

[00:27:35] Wow, there's a rabbit dancing in the video.

[00:27:36] Mm-hmm.

[00:27:37] What the?

[00:27:38] This is ridiculous.

[00:27:39] It's crazy, druggy.

[00:27:41] I mean, I like it.

[00:27:42] It's insane.

[00:27:43] Yeah, there's a rabbit in the video dancing.

[00:27:45] It's really weird.

[00:27:47] It's kind of like that Tom Petty one.

[00:27:49] You listen to her?

[00:27:51] Yeah, I listened.

[00:27:52] I loved Grace.

[00:27:54] Her voice is phenomenal.

[00:27:56] No, I mean, this song?

[00:27:57] I mean, heart's more normal.

[00:27:59] Yeah, heart's more normal.

[00:28:02] Go Ask Alice.

[00:28:04] Okay, we got it.

[00:28:07] All right, we're not going to do that.

[00:28:09] No.

[00:28:09] Grammy Awards.

[00:28:10] This is some queen news, and we're moving on to, holy shit, they found it in some updates.

[00:28:16] Cowboy Carter was roundly snubbed.

[00:28:20] Well.

[00:28:21] Well, it's the Country Music Association Awards.

[00:28:23] I am not a fan of genre jumping.

[00:28:25] No.

[00:28:26] I don't care if it's white or black.

[00:28:27] I don't care who's doing it.

[00:28:28] Don't love it.

[00:28:29] No.

[00:28:29] But I did like a couple of those songs.

[00:28:34] But are the Grammys going to put her in that category?

[00:28:37] No.

[00:28:37] Clearly not.

[00:28:38] No.

[00:28:43] The Texas Hold'em song was good.

[00:28:45] Yeah, I liked it.

[00:28:46] But Chapel got a shit ton of nominations.

[00:28:51] Do you think she'll show up?

[00:28:52] Sabrina.

[00:28:53] Chapel?

[00:28:54] Yeah, she'll show up.

[00:28:56] Missouri's fucking going.

[00:28:57] Oh, I hope so.

[00:29:00] My mental health won't let me do that.

[00:29:02] I've never been to the Grammys.

[00:29:03] I have been to the Academy Awards, and you could not pay me to ever go again.

[00:29:08] Because my friend was one of the writers for one of the hosts, and he's like, I need a date.

[00:29:12] I'm like, fine.

[00:29:13] I'll go.

[00:29:13] I didn't realize he was going to be backstage all night, and I'm going to be sitting in some fucked up balcony watching horribly long speeches that are so boring.

[00:29:20] The problem with the Academy Awards is nobody does anything.

[00:29:23] Like, at least at the Grammys, you get to see all those performances.

[00:29:26] I've been to a lot of Grammys, and they are fun.

[00:29:27] They would be fun.

[00:29:28] They are fun.

[00:29:29] Academy Awards, as soon as I found out if I got locked out at the bar, I was locked out of the deal.

[00:29:34] Well, if you got up to go get a drink, when they allow you to get up, you can't go back in until they let you back in.

[00:29:40] It's like a thing.

[00:29:41] They have seat fillers and stuff.

[00:29:43] So I just locked myself out.

[00:29:44] Okay.

[00:29:45] Yeah.

[00:29:45] I said to the bartender, it's going to be weird to you if I sit here for a very long time because I can't go back in there.

[00:29:49] I'm so goddamn bored.

[00:29:50] I'm losing my mind.

[00:29:51] I'm losing my mind.

[00:29:52] I didn't see fillers.

[00:29:53] It was so boring.

[00:29:55] Yeah.

[00:29:55] Sabrina Carpenter, whose Tay-Tay was Tay-Pay.

[00:29:58] Canadian.

[00:29:59] She continued.

[00:30:00] Oh, she's a Canadian.

[00:30:01] Yes.

[00:30:01] Sabrina Carpenter.

[00:30:02] She continues her stellar year with six nods, as do Chapel and Swift, who finish her record-breaking Eras Tour next month.

[00:30:10] Yep.

[00:30:10] I think they'll give them to Chapel because she's new.

[00:30:12] Tay-Tay's had so many.

[00:30:13] Tay-Tay's fine with that.

[00:30:14] Right.

[00:30:15] Tay-Tay don't care.

[00:30:15] No.

[00:30:15] What do you care?

[00:30:16] No.

[00:30:17] I have comedy awards.

[00:30:18] You know where they're at?

[00:30:19] I don't.

[00:30:20] They're somewhere.

[00:30:21] Somewhere.

[00:30:22] I don't need a trophy.

[00:30:23] You don't want a trophy?

[00:30:25] No, I don't want a trophy.

[00:30:26] Okay.

[00:30:27] No, I'd rather have something if you're going to give me something usable.

[00:30:31] All right.

[00:30:31] A dozen golf balls.

[00:30:33] Great.

[00:30:34] Yeah, for your performance.

[00:30:35] I like the ones that are painted like pink soccer balls.

[00:30:40] Thank you.

[00:30:40] Those are hard to find.

[00:30:41] I know.

[00:30:42] They're very hard to find because they're out of thing.

[00:30:44] So that was the Queen news on that.

[00:30:46] Good.

[00:30:46] But congratulations to Tay-Tay and Chappell.

[00:30:50] Nice.

[00:30:51] Tommy Salami did nothing new this weekend.

[00:30:53] He still won't calm down.

[00:30:54] I need to have a private talk with him.

[00:30:56] He's too crazed.

[00:30:58] I think he's getting better.

[00:30:59] I like it.

[00:31:01] I love Tommy Salami.

[00:31:03] No, I think he's...

[00:31:05] And they all freak out when he goes on the field.

[00:31:07] Yeah.

[00:31:08] Well, who wouldn't freak out?

[00:31:09] He's the most beautiful man on earth.

[00:31:11] And he's the best quarterback probably that ever lived.

[00:31:14] And, well, Patrick might surpass him.

[00:31:16] I think he will.

[00:31:18] Yeah, Mahomes.

[00:31:19] Yeah, because Mahomes got Andy Reid too.

[00:31:21] You can't beat the Walrus.

[00:31:22] You can't.

[00:31:23] You cannot beat the Walrus.

[00:31:25] You can't.

[00:31:26] He's too smart.

[00:31:27] More than Belichick?

[00:31:29] By a million, Andy's better than Belichick.

[00:31:32] Belichick was only good because he had Tom.

[00:31:34] We saw the end of that.

[00:31:35] Tom goes down to Tampa, keeps on winning.

[00:31:37] Bill Belichick, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose.

[00:31:40] Andy has won without Patrick.

[00:31:41] Patrick has won without Andy.

[00:31:43] They're the perfect combination.

[00:31:44] You sound like you're talking about a boy band.

[00:31:46] Well, whatever works.

[00:31:48] You realize this is airing before your Boston shows.

[00:31:51] This is airing before my Boston shows.

[00:31:53] But I think the Patriots know too.

[00:31:55] My Patriots fans, friends that are fans, know that Tommy was the key.

[00:32:00] He was.

[00:32:00] Do you want Belichick back?

[00:32:02] The answer is no.

[00:32:02] They would say no.

[00:32:03] You want somebody younger?

[00:32:04] He's busy.

[00:32:05] He's very busy with a 24-year-old girlfriend.

[00:32:07] He's 75 years old.

[00:32:08] I mean, okay.

[00:32:09] Don't judge.

[00:32:10] Don't judge.

[00:32:11] Don't judge.

[00:32:12] Don't judge.

[00:32:12] That Halloween picture was horrifying.

[00:32:14] I will say she's making him younger.

[00:32:16] He's out doing funny Halloween pictures.

[00:32:18] Who would ever think Bill Belichick, the crabbiest, crankiest man on earth, he pretended

[00:32:23] he caught a mermaid.

[00:32:24] And they're dressed up there at the real ocean.

[00:32:27] I'm like, Jesus.

[00:32:29] This is, he is having the best time of his life.

[00:32:32] That he is willing to.

[00:32:35] I mean, if you would have said, how much do you think it would cost to get Bill Belichick

[00:32:37] to pretend he's catching a mermaid and put on fishing gear and go down when it's chilly

[00:32:41] too.

[00:32:42] It's not a nice day.

[00:32:43] And I would have said, you can't.

[00:32:45] There's not enough money on earth.

[00:32:47] Update.

[00:32:48] We're moving on.

[00:32:49] Oh no.

[00:32:49] I got to say, what are we watching?

[00:32:51] So my cousin Mary told me to watch this.

[00:32:54] If you're into it, there's a movie on Amazon.

[00:32:56] You pay for it.

[00:32:57] I don't, whatever it costs.

[00:32:58] It's called Lee with Kate Winslet.

[00:33:01] And she plays a World War II photographer.

[00:33:03] Nice.

[00:33:03] And it's based on a real lady.

[00:33:05] Is it good?

[00:33:06] It's bananas great.

[00:33:08] Oh, cool.

[00:33:08] Now, it's not an uplifting, fun movie.

[00:33:11] She makes it all the way to Hitler's lair.

[00:33:15] And she ends up, sadly, in the concentration camps, photographing all that.

[00:33:20] But it's just a crazy story because there were no women allowed to do any of that.

[00:33:23] And she just kept getting through it somehow.

[00:33:26] So that was a little movie for a rainy day.

[00:33:28] Lee.

[00:33:29] I started Yellowstone.

[00:33:31] Oh, Lee.

[00:33:31] Lee Miller.

[00:33:32] Lee Miller, who was a real person.

[00:33:34] Yeah.

[00:33:34] I just like Kate Winslet in anything.

[00:33:36] She never fucks up.

[00:33:39] Yellowstone, I only watched the beginning and then I fell asleep because I watched the one

[00:33:42] from last season because I wanted to remember.

[00:33:44] I don't like it when they have all these gaps and it's too long.

[00:33:47] And I'm like, I don't even remember this show.

[00:33:48] Who are you people?

[00:33:50] Right.

[00:33:51] So then I got to go back and watch it anyway.

[00:33:53] So I don't have a review yet.

[00:33:55] I don't know.

[00:33:56] I only saw that Kevin Costner is either committed suicide or been murdered.

[00:34:02] You're going to hate episode one.

[00:34:03] I'm going to hate episode one?

[00:34:04] Yeah.

[00:34:05] You're going to hate it.

[00:34:06] Well, Kevin shouldn't have left.

[00:34:08] No.

[00:34:09] And I think he's realizing that.

[00:34:11] Your horizon idea is not panning out.

[00:34:14] It's bad.

[00:34:14] Also, if you want quirky, I think it was on HBO.

[00:34:19] It's called Somebody Somewhere.

[00:34:21] And it's...

[00:34:22] Oh, is it good?

[00:34:22] I don't know how to describe it.

[00:34:24] It's definitely an acquired taste.

[00:34:26] Yeah.

[00:34:26] But it's about Manhattan, Kansas, which is the home of K-State.

[00:34:31] It's about just...

[00:34:32] Kansas State.

[00:34:33] I mean, Kansas State.

[00:34:34] And it's about living in a small town in Kansas.

[00:34:37] And maybe it's just because I've spent so much time in those towns doing one-nighters and all.

[00:34:42] And we in Missouri constantly make fun of their purple uniforms and their little...

[00:34:51] All of their stuff.

[00:34:52] We have always made fun of our whole lives in good spirits.

[00:34:57] We're not being mean about it.

[00:34:58] But this thing just nails the quirkiness of a small Midwest town.

[00:35:05] Like in the South, that town would be very Christian-y.

[00:35:09] In Kansas, it's just kind of whatever.

[00:35:12] Not that.

[00:35:14] Some of the episodes get a little too far out for me.

[00:35:17] But I'm sticking...

[00:35:17] I still like it.

[00:35:19] So there's a lady, Bridget, somebody who's the star of it.

[00:35:22] And she's like a cabaret person in New York.

[00:35:25] I had never heard of it.

[00:35:26] I'll watch it.

[00:35:27] I had never heard of it either.

[00:35:28] I don't...

[00:35:29] Oh, no.

[00:35:29] I read about it.

[00:35:30] And then I'm like, okay, a small Midwestern town.

[00:35:32] I'm in.

[00:35:33] I want to see the quirkiness.

[00:35:34] Okay.

[00:35:35] Update!

[00:35:38] This is so funny.

[00:35:39] So Martha Stewart.

[00:35:42] If you haven't seen Martha, you have to.

[00:35:43] It's so great.

[00:35:44] It's so good.

[00:35:44] I just love the way she talks.

[00:35:46] Everything's so uptight.

[00:35:48] It's sort of like Andy Warhol.

[00:35:50] It is.

[00:35:50] Yeah.

[00:35:51] It's sort of like that.

[00:35:52] It's a good thing.

[00:35:53] It's a good thing.

[00:35:55] It's a good thing.

[00:35:58] Long, long, long, long, long time ago.

[00:36:00] He was the producer of Rosie O'Donnell's show.

[00:36:03] Oh.

[00:36:04] And then if that wasn't enough, it was a handful.

[00:36:07] He went on to do Martha Stewart after that.

[00:36:10] Oh, my God.

[00:36:11] I said, how's Martha?

[00:36:14] He had nothing but good things to say.

[00:36:15] He said, yeah, she wants her shit done right.

[00:36:18] But if you're on time and you do your shit, you won't hear any problems.

[00:36:21] But if you fuck up.

[00:36:23] Yeah, she just kind of rules with an iron fist.

[00:36:25] But hey, you know, I don't care what mood somebody in.

[00:36:29] Just pick one and be that most of the time, please.

[00:36:31] You know, she was very predictable.

[00:36:33] Gotcha.

[00:36:36] So this is what she said in the documentary on Netflix.

[00:36:40] There was this New York Post lady.

[00:36:42] This is when she's in all the trouble and the trial is going on about whether she's going to go to jail or not.

[00:36:47] She said, was this jail there looking so smug?

[00:36:51] She'd written horrible things during the entire trial.

[00:36:53] She is dead now.

[00:36:55] Thank goodness.

[00:36:56] Well, guess what?

[00:36:57] The lady's not dead.

[00:36:59] No.

[00:36:59] No, she's not.

[00:37:02] She fires back in a fiery column that she said Martha's petty and abusive.

[00:37:08] I'm like, well, yeah, you don't know.

[00:37:10] You only know what you heard.

[00:37:12] Did you work for her?

[00:37:12] You don't know.

[00:37:15] But this is what she would write.

[00:37:17] She described Martha's outfit.

[00:37:19] This is in a New York Post article.

[00:37:22] Dun colored.

[00:37:23] I don't even know what dun means.

[00:37:25] D-U-N.

[00:37:26] Dun colored?

[00:37:27] Is that like bland?

[00:37:30] Stim by.

[00:37:31] Dun.

[00:37:32] Oh, it's an adjective meaning dull grayish brown.

[00:37:35] Dull grayish brown.

[00:37:36] See, I picked bland.

[00:37:37] I'm close.

[00:37:37] So the contacts one, I would have got that right on the SAT.

[00:37:40] Yeah, like the coats of mice and donkeys.

[00:37:44] Oh.

[00:37:44] Okay.

[00:37:45] Dun colored spike heels in a shapeless smock, looking like a gardener who moonlights as a dominatrix.

[00:37:51] Oh!

[00:37:52] Oh!

[00:37:54] She accused Stuart of playing the victim during her trial, a carefully scripted pose.

[00:37:59] In a statement, the alive lady said, I should be flattered.

[00:38:03] I lived in her head all these years.

[00:38:05] And that she's a faithful post reader.

[00:38:10] Hey, Martha, you gloated about the death of this columnist, but I'm alive.

[00:38:15] And then there's an expletive.

[00:38:17] I guess fuck, but they won't say what she said.

[00:38:19] We can say it on this podcast.

[00:38:21] We can say anything we want.

[00:38:22] Fuck.

[00:38:22] Yeah, I'm old enough.

[00:38:24] I'm old enough.

[00:38:25] Two decades later, she's still fantasizing about my grisly demise.

[00:38:30] I made an uncredited cameo appearance in the new Netflix, blah, blah, blah.

[00:38:34] So she's just saying.

[00:38:36] She said that she thought Martha appeared petty and abusive, and she's an obsessive, compulsive person that is so mean.

[00:38:47] I don't think so.

[00:38:48] Well, she said she feels pity for her.

[00:38:52] Nobody cares.

[00:38:53] Right.

[00:38:54] That's the thing.

[00:38:57] Martha said, oh, she's alive?

[00:39:00] Well, you know, the post is my favorite newspaper.

[00:39:04] Just to, I guess, to just say who gives a shit.

[00:39:07] That's great.

[00:39:10] Yeah.

[00:39:11] She's still worth $550 million.

[00:39:13] Martha's still worth $550 million?

[00:39:15] Yeah.

[00:39:15] Well, then you can't bitch about losing the billion.

[00:39:17] Yeah.

[00:39:17] No.

[00:39:18] No.

[00:39:18] No.

[00:39:21] Update!

[00:39:25] This is a problem.

[00:39:27] Okay.

[00:39:27] And I read about this like 10 years ago about how you really shouldn't buy gift cards because shit tons of them go unused.

[00:39:38] People just don't.

[00:39:39] I can tell you right now I've got probably 30 in my office drawer because I can't walk around with them on my wallet all the time.

[00:39:48] You should.

[00:39:49] And then I forget they're there.

[00:39:50] Yeah.

[00:39:50] Well, I have to think ahead.

[00:39:52] Hey, am I going to be going to...

[00:39:53] Target.

[00:39:56] Target's one I would keep in there all the time.

[00:39:58] But like specific restaurants.

[00:40:01] Shula's.

[00:40:02] Don Shula's Steakhouse.

[00:40:03] There was one in Detroit.

[00:40:04] There was one in Miami.

[00:40:05] Fancy.

[00:40:05] It was fancy.

[00:40:06] Yeah.

[00:40:07] I got a Longhorn one.

[00:40:08] Longhorn?

[00:40:09] Nothing wrong with a Longhorn?

[00:40:11] I don't have a Shula's one.

[00:40:12] So Fridays, TGI Fridays is bankruptcy process moving forward.

[00:40:18] Some of the beleaguered chains restaurants are afraid they'll be stuck handling nearly $50 million is out there.

[00:40:25] $50 million.

[00:40:26] Oh my God.

[00:40:27] In gift cards.

[00:40:28] If you're a card holder, you may want to use your card sooner than later.

[00:40:31] Yeah.

[00:40:31] So you aren't stuck holding something worth a fraction of its stated value.

[00:40:35] See how they can do that?

[00:40:36] Wow.

[00:40:37] That's complete bullshit.

[00:40:39] Go use it.

[00:40:39] Otherwise, you could end up in line for repayment with a bunch of other creditors.

[00:40:42] You'll be lucky.

[00:40:43] And you'll be lucky, frankly, to get pennies on the dollar for it.

[00:40:47] Bullshit.

[00:40:47] Yeah.

[00:40:49] That's why we're doing the work of the Lord and you're listening to this podcast so you understand.

[00:40:55] Get out there, man.

[00:40:57] Check your wallet.

[00:40:58] Check your little Christmas drawer on your desk and see if anybody gave you those.

[00:41:01] You have a Christmas drawer?

[00:41:02] Well, it's just where the gift certificates are.

[00:41:05] Wow.

[00:41:05] Yeah.

[00:41:05] Somebody bought me a round of golf at Kiowa a long time ago.

[00:41:07] I fucking forgot.

[00:41:08] I should have used it.

[00:41:09] I know.

[00:41:10] Oh.

[00:41:10] Yeah, but I made Lou pay that day anyway.

[00:41:17] Lou, you always say you don't know what to get for me for a birthday?

[00:41:20] Go in there and pay for that.

[00:41:22] I have two shirts on the thing and I need my round paid for.

[00:41:25] It should be $5 million.

[00:41:27] We're splitting a cart, so you just pay all that too.

[00:41:30] I'll buy you some chicken salad.

[00:41:32] Yep.

[00:41:33] I'm going to buy barbecue after this.

[00:41:35] Okay?

[00:41:36] Okay.

[00:41:38] Funny.

[00:41:40] There's 49.7 million outstanding gift cards that were raised by more than 60 TGI franchises,

[00:41:47] Friday's Champs Franchises, not included in the bankruptcy.

[00:41:50] How do you not include that in the bankruptcy hearing?

[00:41:52] Right.

[00:41:52] We're sorting our shit out, guys.

[00:41:54] Uh-huh.

[00:41:55] What if these 49 million people, even if they only have a dollar each, which is impossible.

[00:42:01] You're never going to have a gift card for a dollar.

[00:42:03] No.

[00:42:05] Oh, wait.

[00:42:06] It's 50 million in gift cards.

[00:42:07] But it's still $50 million.

[00:42:09] Where's the money coming from?

[00:42:10] It won't.

[00:42:11] Go eat those potato skins, termites.

[00:42:13] Get out there.

[00:42:14] They are good.

[00:42:15] Just remember their ranch dressing is super cold.

[00:42:17] If you like super cold ranch, it's the coldest I've ever had.

[00:42:20] You know, there's one over here.

[00:42:21] We should go for lunch.

[00:42:22] Oh, maybe I will go for lunch.

[00:42:23] Yeah.

[00:42:24] Yeah.

[00:42:25] It's because you're with their final throttle.

[00:42:28] A lot of people throw away gift cards, too, because they don't check the back.

[00:42:31] Yeah.

[00:42:31] Like, is it still good?

[00:42:33] I think they're supposed to be good forever for the life of the company.

[00:42:36] There's not supposed to be expiration dates.

[00:42:38] I read a story a long time ago.

[00:42:39] No, I can't remember.

[00:42:40] You should go check out your drawer, then.

[00:42:42] Go check your drawer.

[00:42:43] Check your drawer.

[00:42:44] I'm going to check mine.

[00:42:45] Yeah.

[00:42:46] Check for Red Lobster, too.

[00:42:47] Yeah.

[00:42:48] Right.

[00:42:49] Delicious.

[00:42:51] And there's other ones I'll be telling you about later in the podcast.

[00:42:54] Holy shit.

[00:42:55] This is from Clark.

[00:42:56] Research Assistant Clark.

[00:42:58] Holy shit, they didn't find it.

[00:43:01] And this is very disappointing, if you're me.

[00:43:04] Well, as a child, when I was a little kid, I guess because my dad was into it, I was obsessed

[00:43:11] with, like, mysteries.

[00:43:13] But they're not conspiracy things.

[00:43:15] Like, where did Amelia Earhart's plane go?

[00:43:17] Where did she go down?

[00:43:18] Did she end up on that island where they found her son in freckle cream?

[00:43:21] Freckle cream.

[00:43:22] Did she not end up there?

[00:43:23] Did some other person that had super white freckled skin show up there with some freckle

[00:43:28] cream?

[00:43:29] Anyway, they thought they found it.

[00:43:31] And it's just a pile of rocks.

[00:43:33] No.

[00:43:33] I know.

[00:43:34] Womp womp.

[00:43:35] A sea expedition crew thought it had found the long-lost aircraft, but a promising image

[00:43:39] fell short of hopes.

[00:43:40] I saw the image, too.

[00:43:42] It looks exactly like a plane.

[00:43:43] I get why the guy was fired up.

[00:43:45] When Tony Romeo and his crew saw the bright yellow shape resembling a cross on their computer,

[00:43:50] they thought they'd answer one of the greatest mysteries of the 21st century.

[00:43:53] Surely the grainy image had to be Amelia Earhart's long-lost plane, 16,000 feet beneath the surface

[00:43:58] of the Pacific Ocean.

[00:43:59] But after a second expedition, he announced that it was a lot less than they'd hoped.

[00:44:03] It was just a bunch of rocks.

[00:44:05] I'm super disappointed.

[00:44:07] So sad.

[00:44:08] That's sad.

[00:44:08] I know, because these people work really hard to try to find this shit.

[00:44:12] I know.

[00:44:12] The Malaysian air, you know my obsession.

[00:44:15] They might, by the way, breaking news, restart.

[00:44:19] Government of Malaysia says that these guys have come up with enough proof that they think

[00:44:23] they know where it's at that they might.

[00:44:24] But the reason I didn't print out that article is because it's a might.

[00:44:28] Right.

[00:44:28] I don't believe the Malaysian government.

[00:44:30] Holy shit, they might find it.

[00:44:31] They might find it.

[00:44:34] This is a good holy shit they found it.

[00:44:36] Nobody should believe it.

[00:44:37] I think this is from Heather.

[00:44:38] Heather.

[00:44:39] Who is it?

[00:44:39] Research assistant.

[00:44:41] Yeah, it's a little ways back.

[00:44:42] She sent her a little while ago.

[00:44:43] I just couldn't get to everything.

[00:44:45] You've been a little busy.

[00:44:46] I've been busy.

[00:44:47] Busy, busy, busy, busy.

[00:44:48] With the help of LIDAR technology and locals from various indigenous groups, a group of archaeologists

[00:44:55] managed to trace out the existence of the colony that is now covered deep in the forest.

[00:45:00] They found an entire city in the Amazon rainforest.

[00:45:02] What?

[00:45:03] Yep.

[00:45:03] Cool.

[00:45:04] The locals kept telling them, hey, man, this is the other thing the locals should

[00:45:08] do.

[00:45:08] The locals, if they have the manpower, should go cut down the shit and then keep that city

[00:45:14] like frozen and threaten to destroy that too.

[00:45:18] As you blackmail, you blackmail the globe.

[00:45:21] Uh-huh.

[00:45:23] Well, everybody wants it.

[00:45:24] I know.

[00:45:25] To say I'm going to set it on fire.

[00:45:29] I mean, that's how the mob would handle it.

[00:45:32] It was abandoned.

[00:45:34] It was abandoned and the forest took over and the stone blocks were removed.

[00:45:37] We were able to identify the layout of the streets of the city.

[00:45:40] They had streets.

[00:45:41] I mean, this isn't like a jungle town.

[00:45:45] I want to tell you.

[00:45:46] Okay.

[00:45:46] It is understood that the Portuguese people established a settlement inside the Amazon

[00:45:51] rainforest somewhere around the 16th century when explorer Pedro Alvarez Cabral conquered

[00:45:56] the land.

[00:45:57] 16th century.

[00:45:58] Amazing.

[00:45:59] Mm-hmm.

[00:46:00] They have, um, it's an immense urban sprawl.

[00:46:03] So these people had the whole thing going on.

[00:46:06] Cool.

[00:46:06] Uh, the government never knew about it.

[00:46:09] The scientific community never knew about it.

[00:46:10] That really puts an exclamation point behind the statement that, no, we have not found everything

[00:46:15] and yet there's a lot more to be discovered.

[00:46:17] That makes me happy because that means we haven't discovered everything on earth.

[00:46:21] Unfailingly, everywhere this work is done, there's more settlements.

[00:46:24] Da-da-da-da-da.

[00:46:25] The locals kept telling them, though, you're missing it, man.

[00:46:30] It's in a, uh...

[00:46:31] Go back.

[00:46:32] Yeah.

[00:46:33] You, you, well, you don't know where to go.

[00:46:34] Right.

[00:46:35] In the forest.

[00:46:35] And then, you know, you're sissy white people that fall apart after two days in the forest

[00:46:41] because, you know, a giant snake falls out of the tree on your head and you'll go, bleh,

[00:46:44] and run away.

[00:46:45] I would.

[00:46:46] I would, too.

[00:46:47] Yeah.

[00:46:47] Yeah, I would.

[00:46:47] Um, they're going to bring it back.

[00:46:50] It's called the Amazonian Revelata Project.

[00:46:54] This is, they have 6,000 clay mounds.

[00:46:57] The roads were 33 feet wide and ran for up to 6 to 12 miles.

[00:47:01] Wow.

[00:47:01] In the 16th century, these people were not fucking around.

[00:47:04] It's huge.

[00:47:04] But 10,000 people lived there.

[00:47:06] Maybe as many as 15 or 30,000.

[00:47:08] And it's zenith.

[00:47:10] Oh, you never heard that word used to type.

[00:47:12] It's zenith.

[00:47:13] I'm going to start saying that more often.

[00:47:15] You've got to bring that back.

[00:47:17] This is equivalent to the estimated population of the Roman era London.

[00:47:21] So it would be the same size as London was at the time.

[00:47:23] The metropologist in November.

[00:47:25] The discovery ends the argument whether the ancient Amazon city was livable

[00:47:29] and adds evidence to such as, um, such as pyramids and earthworks discovered in the last 20 years.

[00:47:36] That's great.

[00:47:37] They vanished.

[00:47:38] 30,000 people vanished between 300 and 600 CE.

[00:47:45] That's weird.

[00:47:46] That's crazy.

[00:47:47] I think sometimes, though, I think just like even some weird disease.

[00:47:52] Yeah.

[00:47:52] There's not.

[00:47:53] Kind of a plague or something.

[00:47:54] Right.

[00:47:55] And then boom, they're all out.

[00:47:56] Um, okay, we're moving on.

[00:48:00] This is my favorite story in a long time.

[00:48:03] Really?

[00:48:04] Yep.

[00:48:04] Can't wait.

[00:48:05] Yep.

[00:48:05] Do you think it needs a goat or something?

[00:48:07] Oh, yeah, I think it definitely needs this.

[00:48:16] 43 monkeys escape from a South Carolina research facility.

[00:48:21] That's so crazy.

[00:48:21] I'm on Team Monkey.

[00:48:23] I want it to start.

[00:48:24] You want to see, you want Armageddon?

[00:48:27] You want the rapture?

[00:48:30] I say, as a Catholic who hasn't really read anything in detail about the rapture, this

[00:48:37] is how it starts.

[00:48:38] It starts with monkeys.

[00:48:40] The rapture starts with monkeys?

[00:48:42] Because it becomes Planet of the Apes.

[00:48:43] Oh, my God.

[00:48:44] One of my favorite movies as a child.

[00:48:45] What?

[00:48:46] Yes, I had the Planet of the Apes trash can.

[00:48:48] What?

[00:48:49] Yep.

[00:48:49] I sure did.

[00:48:50] I had a Sean Cassidy trash can and a Planet of the Apes trash can.

[00:48:54] You had a lot of trash.

[00:48:55] I had a lot of trash cans in my room, and I didn't really have any trash either.

[00:48:58] I was 10.

[00:48:59] How much trash am I generating as a 10-year-old who's not allowed to take anything, quote,

[00:49:03] upstairs?

[00:49:05] I couldn't even take Kool-Aid or nothing.

[00:49:07] Prisoner.

[00:49:08] My mom was a prisoner.

[00:49:09] Keep that Kool-Aid down here.

[00:49:12] Was it red?

[00:49:13] You're not taking those ding-dongs upstairs.

[00:49:15] Ding-dongs?

[00:49:16] I love ding-dongs.

[00:49:17] Yeah, I never got them, though.

[00:49:18] Why?

[00:49:19] In Canada, did you get fucked on ding-dongs, too?

[00:49:22] Oh, yeah, ding-dongs.

[00:49:26] Would you like a Twinkie?

[00:49:28] No?

[00:49:28] I want a ding-dong.

[00:49:31] We had wagon wheels.

[00:49:33] Wagon wheels?

[00:49:34] Mm-hmm.

[00:49:34] I don't know that I know what that is.

[00:49:35] The wagon wheel is like a moon pie, but better.

[00:49:40] A moon pie, but better?

[00:49:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:49:42] I didn't really like moon pies.

[00:49:44] You'll like a wagon wheel.

[00:49:45] You need to think I will?

[00:49:46] Yeah, there's like a jam thing, and I'm agreeing.

[00:49:49] Oh, no.

[00:49:50] Yeah.

[00:49:51] Well, the monkeys are out.

[00:49:53] Now, an update to my update.

[00:49:56] This is news.

[00:49:57] We moved on to news.

[00:49:58] The, like, 20 have been captured.

[00:50:01] Oh.

[00:50:02] Mm-hmm.

[00:50:02] But that means there's still a bunch of them out there.

[00:50:06] A bunch.

[00:50:06] Do the math.

[00:50:09] 23.

[00:50:10] There's 23 out there.

[00:50:11] There's like six.

[00:50:12] Now, here's the thing.

[00:50:15] They're rhesus macaws.

[00:50:16] They're little.

[00:50:17] They're like six pounds, because I had a talk with baby cat.

[00:50:19] What?

[00:50:20] If one makes it here to Tennessee, I don't want you to overreact.

[00:50:24] You're five pounds.

[00:50:27] You got it.

[00:50:28] The monkey's only six.

[00:50:29] You got this.

[00:50:30] You're definitely, as she sleeps under the coffee table right now, definitely not as smart

[00:50:34] as this monkey, but that's okay.

[00:50:36] No.

[00:50:36] No.

[00:50:36] Dumb people win fights all the time.

[00:50:39] You can do it.

[00:50:40] You can do it, baby cat.

[00:50:41] Meow.

[00:50:43] But here's what's crazy.

[00:50:44] They told everybody, oh, well, these monkeys haven't been researched on yet.

[00:50:50] What?

[00:50:51] But, well, they're new arrivals.

[00:50:53] But then they said, lock your windows and doors.

[00:50:57] Okay.

[00:50:57] Yeah.

[00:50:58] Well, if this little six-pound rhesus monkey, if he's not fucked up, well, there are other

[00:51:05] reasons to be a bit afraid.

[00:51:08] Oh, God.

[00:51:09] Yeah.

[00:51:11] Police in Yemisee, Beaufort County said that the rhesus macaw primates escaped from Alpha

[00:51:19] Genesis, a business that provides non-human primates products and bio-search services.

[00:51:25] Mm-hmm.

[00:51:26] It's a group of very young females.

[00:51:28] They've never been used for testing.

[00:51:29] Well, I'm thinking maybe they're lying about that.

[00:51:32] Says who?

[00:51:33] Right.

[00:51:34] Right.

[00:51:35] The spokesperson confirmed that the animals are too young to carry disease.

[00:51:38] Well.

[00:51:39] Who says?

[00:51:40] Who do we not?

[00:51:41] Right.

[00:51:41] Well, if so, then why can't they just come in and sit on the couch and I'll call the cops?

[00:51:45] Right.

[00:51:46] You would just wait here, little monkey.

[00:51:48] Give them a, I don't know, what would I give them, a banana or, I don't know.

[00:51:52] A golf club.

[00:51:53] I have those mints from restaurants.

[00:51:55] Give them some chocolate.

[00:52:00] Moonshine.

[00:52:01] Moonshine.

[00:52:01] Apple moonshine.

[00:52:02] I'd probably love it.

[00:52:03] You'd probably love it.

[00:52:05] Alpha Genesis currently have the eyes on the primates and are working to entice them with food.

[00:52:10] They can't catch them.

[00:52:10] No.

[00:52:11] And you know what they're doing?

[00:52:12] The ones that are still free are going back to the facility in the woods at night and cooing for the others to escape.

[00:52:19] This is how it starts.

[00:52:21] They're smart.

[00:52:22] That's freakish.

[00:52:23] It is freakish.

[00:52:25] Think if you work there.

[00:52:26] Cooing monkeys.

[00:52:27] Yeah.

[00:52:28] Ooh, ew.

[00:52:29] They want them out.

[00:52:30] Wow.

[00:52:31] Yeah.

[00:52:32] Traps have also been set up and offers using thermal imaging cameras.

[00:52:37] Thermal imaging works good if you're looking for the boss in Canmore in Canada because he's huge.

[00:52:43] He's a grizzly.

[00:52:44] He's out.

[00:52:44] But to find a six to nine pound animal in the South Carolina woods, which is like kind of swampy, very swampy.

[00:52:55] Mm-hmm.

[00:53:06] Well, here's what this lady's doing.

[00:53:08] Both of those.

[00:53:09] Right.

[00:53:09] Yeah, I'm calling 911, but we're going to have a little social interaction with said monkey.

[00:53:14] I'm not letting that moment go.

[00:53:16] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:53:18] We're going to do Instagram photos.

[00:53:19] We're going to do TikTok videos.

[00:53:22] He doesn't know, but you just became my little actor.

[00:53:25] That's right.

[00:53:26] Me, baby.

[00:53:26] The company works with monkeys to carry out clinical trials, including on brain disease disorder treatments,

[00:53:32] and says one of the largest and most comprehensive,

[00:53:34] it is one of the most largest and comprehensive non-human primate facilities designed specifically for monkeys in the United States.

[00:53:42] They did not respond to NBC overnight for a comment.

[00:53:46] The company secured a federal contract to run a colony of 3,500 monkeys on Morgan Island off the coast of South Carolina,

[00:53:55] also known as Monkey Island.

[00:53:57] Oh, my God.

[00:53:58] Why have I never heard of that?

[00:53:59] Exactly.

[00:54:00] I got to deep dive that.

[00:54:05] Well, here's the thing.

[00:54:06] There's still 20 of them out there.

[00:54:09] Let's do it.

[00:54:11] I'm rooting for...

[00:54:11] 23 of them.

[00:54:12] Oh, 23, right.

[00:54:13] Yeah.

[00:54:14] According to your math.

[00:54:15] Yeah.

[00:54:16] Well, it changes every day, too.

[00:54:18] Your math?

[00:54:19] Well, my math changes every day, yeah, but these figures actually keep changing, too.

[00:54:23] Speaking of crazy animal, what the fuck?

[00:54:25] A raccoon drops from the ceiling at LaGuardia Airport and goes on the run.

[00:54:29] I, you know, I guess, and I'm just thinking there's a lot of...

[00:54:33] Holes?

[00:54:34] People in the New York airport that wouldn't know nature's little bandit.

[00:54:38] He's not going to hurt you.

[00:54:39] They're big, too.

[00:54:40] They can be very big.

[00:54:42] Yeah.

[00:54:42] In West Hollywood, when I lived there for a little while, there was one that would come

[00:54:46] every night to the top of the garage.

[00:54:47] If I grilled out, I grilled a hamburger so he could smell it.

[00:54:50] But it was the size of a panda bear.

[00:54:54] Because I think it just went up and down the alley and ate Chinese food that got thrown

[00:54:58] out.

[00:54:58] Then it went to Italian food that got thrown out.

[00:55:01] It was a trash panda.

[00:55:02] He ate out of every trash can.

[00:55:04] Wow.

[00:55:04] Yeah.

[00:55:05] He was huge.

[00:55:05] Sometimes he'd be dangling from the tree.

[00:55:07] And I'm like, okay, buddy.

[00:55:09] I gave him a hamburger.

[00:55:10] I know you're not supposed to, but it already lives in the city.

[00:55:12] It's already fucked up.

[00:55:13] Like, yeah.

[00:55:14] Did you name it?

[00:55:15] I never did name it.

[00:55:17] No.

[00:55:17] No.

[00:55:18] Just Nature's Bandit.

[00:55:19] Okay.

[00:55:20] It looks like they have a mask on.

[00:55:21] Travelers at LaGuardia Airport got quite the wake-up call Monday morning when a raccoon

[00:55:25] fell from the ceiling at the gate before they boarded the plane.

[00:55:28] By the way, guess whose gate it was?

[00:55:31] Spirit!

[00:55:32] No!

[00:55:34] They also...

[00:55:35] Spirit just can't even catch a break.

[00:55:37] I'm not getting on the plane because I feel like they buy used planes from shitty company.

[00:55:41] Like, I feel like that yellow paint's just to cover up Fun Jet or whatever the fuck

[00:55:44] they bought.

[00:55:45] It got shot at going into Haiti.

[00:55:47] What?

[00:55:48] Oh, there's bullet holes all over the plane.

[00:55:49] And then...

[00:55:50] That's not their fault.

[00:55:52] You know?

[00:55:53] Why did this...

[00:55:54] Port-au-Prince, why did they decide to just start firing its...

[00:55:56] But if you're...

[00:55:57] You already bought a discount seat on a discount airline.

[00:56:00] Now we're getting shot at?

[00:56:01] I mean, come on.

[00:56:02] I feel like Delta would shoot back.

[00:56:04] And I feel like Spirit doesn't even know how.

[00:56:08] But this was at a Spirit Airlines gate.

[00:56:11] Like, this raccoon could have fallen anywhere in LaGuardia.

[00:56:14] Delta, Delta, Delta.

[00:56:15] Nope.

[00:56:16] Nope.

[00:56:17] Social media shows the chaotic critter scene at Spirit Airlines gate where a raccoon could

[00:56:21] be seen clinging onto a cable that is hanging from a ceiling.

[00:56:25] Eventually, he loses his grip.

[00:56:27] It confused travelers can be heard screeching as it runs across the floor.

[00:56:30] It's not a rat.

[00:56:32] No.

[00:56:32] No, they don't really bite.

[00:56:35] They're on my porch every night.

[00:56:37] The thing is, they can be obstinate, though.

[00:56:40] The children.

[00:56:41] The teenage raccoons.

[00:56:42] They don't get...

[00:56:43] I could go out there, like...

[00:56:45] And poke them with shit.

[00:56:46] And they're like, no.

[00:56:47] We're saying.

[00:56:47] They know the food is there.

[00:56:49] They sound like Cartman.

[00:56:50] Yeah, they do.

[00:56:51] No.

[00:56:51] We're not leaving.

[00:56:52] The adults scoot away real quick when I shoo them off.

[00:56:55] But those teenage ones are little bastards.

[00:56:59] To ensure a positive experience for our LGA guests, we immediately notified the facilities

[00:57:05] teams that are addressing the matter with a professional wildlife control company.

[00:57:08] You don't need that.

[00:57:09] But if you ever tried to cage a raccoon, there was one out at the farm one time.

[00:57:12] My dad was very concerned that it was like half nutty, maybe rabid.

[00:57:16] And then he did cage it.

[00:57:17] And I've never seen anything react like that.

[00:57:20] Really?

[00:57:21] Oh, it was the most violent.

[00:57:22] Yeah.

[00:57:23] I'm like, Dad, just let it out.

[00:57:24] Just let it back out.

[00:57:25] This is a bad idea.

[00:57:26] You really, truly, Dad, do not know what you're doing.

[00:57:29] I know you fantasize that you do, but you don't.

[00:57:33] This was at 8 o'clock in the morning.

[00:57:35] The raccoon was safely located and released outside with no further sightings report.

[00:57:40] And there were no injuries reported.

[00:57:42] It's just Spirit can't catch a break.

[00:57:45] No.

[00:57:46] Somebody tell me how this is happening.

[00:57:48] I can't believe they shot at it.

[00:57:51] Spirit.

[00:57:52] They shot at Spirit Airlines.

[00:57:53] Yeah.

[00:57:54] Why?

[00:57:54] Why are you?

[00:57:56] Shooting at that plane.

[00:57:58] Right.

[00:57:58] I don't know.

[00:57:59] They didn't have an explanation.

[00:58:01] Because you can see it from space.

[00:58:02] Well, why do you...

[00:58:05] If you're going into Port-au-Prince, though, I'm not sure that those would be tourists.

[00:58:09] No.

[00:58:10] Those might just be Haitians.

[00:58:11] Is there like a government person on there?

[00:58:13] Somebody wanted to kill?

[00:58:17] I don't know.

[00:58:17] But if your government is flying Spirit, we need to re-talk about your government's success.

[00:58:21] Jesus.

[00:58:23] Haiti's got problems.

[00:58:27] I don't understand this.

[00:58:28] Okay.

[00:58:29] Barnes & Noble is on track to open 60 locations this year.

[00:58:32] What?

[00:58:33] Brand new.

[00:58:35] I've always said it was a drug front because...

[00:58:38] Or some sort of gambling front.

[00:58:40] Something where you're laundering money.

[00:58:42] Yeah.

[00:58:42] Now, I don't know that.

[00:58:43] Don't anybody sue me.

[00:58:44] It's just my opinion because they always have the most costly real estate, whether it's in

[00:58:49] New York City, downtown Chicago.

[00:58:51] Yeah.

[00:58:51] And they have like four floors.

[00:58:54] There's plenty of people in there, but even if...

[00:58:58] Coffee shop.

[00:58:59] Donuts.

[00:58:59] Somebody's making bread.

[00:59:00] But like, even if all of us bought one book.

[00:59:04] Yeah.

[00:59:04] A hardback.

[00:59:05] You're not paying that rent.

[00:59:07] No.

[00:59:08] No.

[00:59:08] How are you paying the rent?

[00:59:09] Right.

[00:59:09] I don't know.

[00:59:11] Here we come.

[00:59:12] The golden age of wandering around the mall with your crush.

[00:59:14] Your crush.

[00:59:15] How old is Maddie Merritt who wrote this?

[00:59:18] Your crush.

[00:59:19] Is finally returning.

[00:59:20] A refreshed Barnes & Noble will open 12 new locations this month, which puts the chain on

[00:59:25] track to hit a goal of 60 planned openings this year.

[00:59:28] Wow.

[00:59:29] And don't get me wrong.

[00:59:29] I do love one.

[00:59:30] I love a Barnes & Noble.

[00:59:32] Right.

[00:59:32] It just never made sense to me.

[00:59:34] The bookseller, which was on the verge of bankruptcy just six years ago, is copying

[00:59:38] the indie bookstore model and ditching its one-size-fits-all attitude to claw its way

[00:59:43] back to the top.

[00:59:44] Amazon crushed Barnes & Noble, which scrambled to try and win back customers by expanding its

[00:59:50] offerings and sinking $1 billion into a Kindle knockoff.

[00:59:55] Oh.

[00:59:56] You gotta make it go for an iPhone.

[00:59:57] I had a Kindle.

[00:59:58] Nobody cares about the Kindle.

[01:00:00] It's somewhere in the office.

[01:00:01] And then I think I should keep it because maybe it'll be worth something on like eBay.

[01:00:05] It will never be worth anything.

[01:00:06] No?

[01:00:07] No.

[01:00:08] My mom still uses hers.

[01:00:10] I didn't like it.

[01:00:10] As it turns out, I like a book.

[01:00:12] Yeah.

[01:00:12] But then I thought, well, maybe I'm just old and the kids, the children, they'll skip.

[01:00:16] But I think they like books too.

[01:00:18] Yeah, they like books.

[01:00:19] Yep.

[01:00:19] A billion dollars for a Kindle knockoff.

[01:00:22] Jesus.

[01:00:23] Jesus.

[01:00:23] In 2019, a hedge fund bought the chain, often the kiss of death for an ailing retailer.

[01:00:27] But instead of stripping it for parts, it handed the reins over to British bookstore turnaround

[01:00:32] legend James Daunt.

[01:00:33] In addition to snapping up cheap retail space, well, maybe the new ones are going to be somewhere

[01:00:39] cheap.

[01:00:39] But the old ones aren't.

[01:00:41] No.

[01:00:41] Downtown Manhattan.

[01:00:42] Downtown Chicago.

[01:00:44] Everywhere you went.

[01:00:45] Union Square.

[01:00:46] Yeah.

[01:00:46] In addition to, he immediately worked to undo everything.

[01:00:50] Daunt ended publisher deals that accepted payments for featuring books.

[01:00:53] Oh, I didn't know they did that.

[01:00:56] Hmm.

[01:00:57] Hmm.

[01:00:58] And let individual locations build displays and organize stores to best fit their communities.

[01:01:03] Last week, the chain took over the historic 1919 Noel, Noel, State Street Bank building

[01:01:10] in Chicago.

[01:01:11] And on Wednesday, okay, you're taking over an old building, 1919.

[01:01:14] The expenses.

[01:01:15] Yeah.

[01:01:16] It returned to the three-story Georgetown.

[01:01:18] Georgetown, D.C.

[01:01:19] I mean, come on.

[01:01:21] It's mine.

[01:01:22] Three-story located.

[01:01:24] It returned to its three-story Georgetown location where it closed 13 years ago.

[01:01:29] Wow.

[01:01:30] I mean, I guess I'm happy for them.

[01:01:31] It just, it doesn't make sense.

[01:01:32] And I love books.

[01:01:33] So, yay for books.

[01:01:36] I don't know.

[01:01:37] Here's one that I don't really even, these people, this is because they didn't hire me out

[01:01:40] of college.

[01:01:42] The vitamin, and I always used to call it the shoppy.

[01:01:45] The shoppy.

[01:01:46] The shoppy.

[01:01:46] The shoppy.

[01:01:47] Because they chose to spell it S-H-O-P-P-E.

[01:01:51] How about E-E?

[01:01:53] No.

[01:01:54] S-H-O.

[01:01:54] Vitamin Shop owner files for bankruptcy.

[01:01:57] Franchise Group, which also owns Pet Supplies Plus and Buddy's Home Furnishings will shut

[01:02:02] down America.

[01:02:03] Buddy's Home Furnishings?

[01:02:04] Yeah.

[01:02:05] It's another one of those weird, yeah.

[01:02:07] Okay.

[01:02:08] It's under the banner of American, okay, Vitamin Shop.

[01:02:12] I thought it was like a medical store.

[01:02:13] I tried to get a job there out of college to do public relations for them, write their

[01:02:18] press releases and all that.

[01:02:19] They did not hire me.

[01:02:20] And see what happens?

[01:02:22] Vitamin Shoppy.

[01:02:23] It took a hot minute.

[01:02:25] Yeah.

[01:02:25] You know, 40 years.

[01:02:26] But fuck you.

[01:02:27] That's a fuck you.

[01:02:29] But he really, boy, it's not a fuck you.

[01:02:31] It's not really a fuck you because I didn't really want to work there.

[01:02:34] No.

[01:02:34] I did not have an interview in the Vitamin Store.

[01:02:37] It was like at an office thing.

[01:02:39] I was going to say that.

[01:02:39] Yeah, and I was only 23.

[01:02:41] Like, well, I don't know.

[01:02:42] I don't know.

[01:02:44] I'm sure you had a good attitude.

[01:02:45] I didn't.

[01:02:46] A great, a shining attitude.

[01:02:48] Now, my attitudes in job interviews were terrible in retrospect.

[01:02:53] Well, it was because none of it made sense to me.

[01:02:55] I got it.

[01:02:56] What do you think some of your best qualities are?

[01:02:58] I'm like, why would you ask me something like that?

[01:03:01] Isn't it your job to judge me and to find out?

[01:03:05] Isn't this the game we're playing?

[01:03:07] Hire me and find out.

[01:03:08] Like, you want me to sit here and brag on shit that I'm not that confident in?

[01:03:12] 23 years old.

[01:03:13] 22.

[01:03:14] Yeah.

[01:03:15] Want me to lie?

[01:03:16] I hate getting up early.

[01:03:17] Let's start with the shit I hate.

[01:03:19] And then see if there's anything left that would fit.

[01:03:21] I don't want to work five days.

[01:03:22] Yeah.

[01:03:28] Is that work in your Ballywick?

[01:03:31] I'm glad.

[01:03:31] That's why I'm glad the children are doing it now.

[01:03:33] They just won't do shit.

[01:03:34] And then they'll do shit they want to do.

[01:03:35] And that's that.

[01:03:37] But have you guys even ever been in?

[01:03:39] Vitamin Shoppe, to me, looked more pharmaceutical medical than, say, GNC in the mall.

[01:03:44] Yeah.

[01:03:44] That looked fun.

[01:03:45] And, like, here's a giant thing of powder.

[01:03:48] If you eat this, you're going to gain 17 pounds of muscle mass.

[01:03:51] 13!

[01:03:52] Ah!

[01:03:53] Yeah.

[01:03:55] Yeah.

[01:03:55] So that's it.

[01:03:56] No more Vitamin Shoppe.

[01:03:57] But I couldn't even tell you where one is right now.

[01:04:00] No.

[01:04:00] I don't know.

[01:04:01] I know there was one in St. Louis, but it was, like, in a...

[01:04:05] It wasn't...

[01:04:05] They weren't in fun places, either.

[01:04:07] They were stand-alones.

[01:04:09] So it wasn't, like, in the mall where GNC, you're like, oh, let's go do this.

[01:04:19] They're in bad areas?

[01:04:23] Oh, there's one in Franklin.

[01:04:25] Franklin's very fancy in Nashville.

[01:04:26] It's closing.

[01:04:27] It's closing.

[01:04:30] They didn't have enough of the country stars coming about.

[01:04:34] No, no, no, no.

[01:04:36] Speaking of the children who won't do things when they don't want to, good for you children,

[01:04:41] there's a big surge about getting workers back to the office,

[01:04:44] and I'm going to tell you who's throwing the hammer down.

[01:04:46] Yeah.

[01:04:46] So if you're working from home, there's a very funny meme.

[01:04:50] It's probably been out there forever, but I just recently saw it.

[01:04:53] Where the dog...

[01:04:54] Somebody's dog is looking at him, a work-from-home person,

[01:04:57] and the dog's like, this has been the greatest four years of our lives.

[01:05:00] I love you being here all the time.

[01:05:02] I just love it.

[01:05:03] And then there's a video of a cat going, when are you returning to work?

[01:05:07] This is my house during the day.

[01:05:09] I thought we'd establish this.

[01:05:11] I'm not into a roommate.

[01:05:13] It's total.

[01:05:14] Baby cat gets mad when you leave.

[01:05:16] Baby cat's attached.

[01:05:18] Yeah.

[01:05:18] The other two could give a shit, as long as there's food up.

[01:05:21] Amazon sent shockwaves through its ranks in corporate America Monday when CEO Andrew Jassy

[01:05:26] told workers they will be expected to return to the office five days a week, starting in January.

[01:05:32] Now, see, Iceland, this is where I would go, do you read?

[01:05:37] Look what Iceland did.

[01:05:38] Everybody's happier.

[01:05:39] Productivity has increased.

[01:05:40] Yep.

[01:05:42] Quit working us to the bone.

[01:05:44] The decision represents one of the most stringent return to office policies from a major corporation

[01:05:49] since the pandemic, when offices were suddenly shuttered and many employees shifted to remote

[01:05:54] work.

[01:05:54] Amazon's move is unusual for a business in the tech industry, which has largely embraced

[01:05:59] remote and hybrid work arrangements.

[01:06:01] Wow.

[01:06:02] So it's not just, they always say it's to design, it's improve the company work culture.

[01:06:09] You know what?

[01:06:10] You know what you should do to improve the work culture?

[01:06:13] Have some free happy hours.

[01:06:15] Yes.

[01:06:16] Right.

[01:06:16] Yeah.

[01:06:17] So I would picture it at a brewery.

[01:06:19] I always go to Fat Tire.

[01:06:21] By the way, Fat Tire, could you reach out?

[01:06:23] My hoodie that I've had for 10 years has a hole in it and I can't find it anywhere online.

[01:06:28] Thank you.

[01:06:28] If anybody from Fat Tire can hook Mama Termite up.

[01:06:31] It's very old.

[01:06:32] You probably don't even make it anymore, but it's a thin hoodie, like a spring summer hoodie.

[01:06:36] And I love it.

[01:06:37] It's got a little bicycle right here.

[01:06:38] If you need more information, hit the team email.

[01:06:41] I tried to buy it.

[01:06:42] I mean, I tried.

[01:06:43] I looked everywhere online.

[01:06:44] I can't find it.

[01:06:45] Anyway, so like if you said all Amazon people who live in Fort Collins, we've rented out Fat Tire Brewery.

[01:06:54] You can bring your dogs.

[01:06:57] There's outdoor picnic tables.

[01:06:58] There's cornhole.

[01:06:59] There's inside.

[01:07:00] There's a brewery.

[01:07:01] There's bunches of beer.

[01:07:02] And say, and you have to, I know because my lawyer dad, you got to limit it to say, we the company.

[01:07:09] Four.

[01:07:09] Four?

[01:07:10] Got no paddles.

[01:07:12] You can't buy four drinks for employees.

[01:07:14] They're drunk.

[01:07:15] That's drunk driving.

[01:07:16] Get them out of the Uber.

[01:07:17] Well, maybe not in Canada.

[01:07:19] Four, you all think you can do that.

[01:07:21] We're heartier.

[01:07:22] You are heartier beer drinkers for sure.

[01:07:25] I'm not advocating drinking and driving.

[01:07:26] Please don't send an email.

[01:07:27] No.

[01:07:27] But I'm saying as the company, I know because my dad had a bunch of these lawsuits from company.

[01:07:32] It's always the Christmas party that gets fucked up.

[01:07:36] And there's always four guys with giant name tags.

[01:07:39] Hi, I'm Dale from Omaha.

[01:07:41] Oh, Dale.

[01:07:42] You're going to wish you hadn't worn that after your behavior tomorrow night.

[01:07:46] Last night.

[01:07:46] Everybody knows today it was Dale.

[01:07:48] Meet Fran from HR.

[01:07:49] No, you tell them, look, one drink is on us and here's the free appetizers.

[01:07:56] Hot pretzels, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[01:07:57] That's how you grow your company's culture.

[01:08:00] Right.

[01:08:01] You don't just make them work more.

[01:08:03] No.

[01:08:04] Nobody likes that.

[01:08:05] I know.

[01:08:06] I'm a little too opinionated on this because I really side with the people that are not type A.

[01:08:11] I'm type B minus.

[01:08:14] Yeah.

[01:08:14] You're a solid B.

[01:08:16] Meh.

[01:08:17] Yeah.

[01:08:18] On the weekends.

[01:08:20] Well, I work hard sometimes.

[01:08:22] Here's who else is doing it.

[01:08:24] Disney.

[01:08:25] Mm-hmm.

[01:08:26] They're mandating people work four days a week in the office, typically Monday to Thursday.

[01:08:31] Okay.

[01:08:31] I still don't like the five-day work week, but at least you get Friday at home.

[01:08:35] Right.

[01:08:37] JP Morgan, staunch advocate of in-person work and once blasted remote work as a policy that

[01:08:44] does not work for younger people.

[01:08:45] It doesn't work for those who want to hustle.

[01:08:48] That is bullshit.

[01:08:49] Hustle.

[01:08:50] Because look, as much as I tease the children and make fun of the children, my publicist,

[01:08:53] Katie, is so good that until I actually met her in person, I thought she was like 55.

[01:09:01] Oh.

[01:09:01] She's 31.

[01:09:03] And I mean 55 based on I've never seen a photo.

[01:09:06] Mm-hmm.

[01:09:07] She's so competent.

[01:09:09] Yep.

[01:09:09] And so on it and gives a shit and never missed it.

[01:09:12] If anybody fucks it up, it's me.

[01:09:13] It's never her.

[01:09:14] Nope.

[01:09:15] So there are, to just throw that younger people under the bus like that,

[01:09:20] it doesn't work for those who want to hustle.

[01:09:21] Some people, if you're kind of type A to begin with, you're working from home, you're going

[01:09:26] to get more out of me.

[01:09:27] Right.

[01:09:27] Because I'm happier.

[01:09:28] And I have a better attitude.

[01:09:29] You don't want my attitude to go south on you.

[01:09:31] That's the problem.

[01:09:32] That's where.

[01:09:33] Irish.

[01:09:34] Yeah.

[01:09:34] And then I get Irish mad and then I have an Irish standoff.

[01:09:37] Even if you don't know we're in one, I will.

[01:09:39] Yep.

[01:09:40] Right.

[01:09:40] I just broke a long-term stand, like something stupid where I was like, I'm never going to

[01:09:45] buy that again.

[01:09:46] They don't give a shit.

[01:09:47] They don't even know you.

[01:09:48] They don't know me.

[01:09:50] He was the first one.

[01:09:51] Jamie Dimion.

[01:09:53] I can't even look at his face when he's in front of Congress.

[01:09:56] Starbucks.

[01:09:58] The new CEO, who we already know is striking out.

[01:10:01] Yeah.

[01:10:01] Some guy sent me a thing on Twitter.

[01:10:03] He said, speaking of Starbucks, because you talk about it all, I told them my name was

[01:10:07] Mark with a C and they wrote Kark.

[01:10:13] And I thought, well, the kid did take you literally.

[01:10:17] Whoever made that and wrote that.

[01:10:19] Kark.

[01:10:20] C-A-R-K.

[01:10:22] Not even a thought.

[01:10:24] No.

[01:10:25] Oh, it's Mark with a C?

[01:10:26] So you're Kark.

[01:10:27] Okay.

[01:10:33] JP Morgan, they people are showing up three times a week.

[01:10:36] That's plenty.

[01:10:40] Team building.

[01:10:42] Stop it.

[01:10:43] I know.

[01:10:44] One of my brothers a long time ago worked for Arthur Anderson.

[01:10:47] They don't exist anymore.

[01:10:49] So I can speak freely.

[01:10:50] It's a consulting firm.

[01:10:52] And they go, oh, we're having a team building exercise on Saturday and we're going to go

[01:11:00] on sailboats in Illinois.

[01:11:02] I go.

[01:11:04] What?

[01:11:05] Where?

[01:11:06] They found some lake.

[01:11:09] Lake?

[01:11:09] Lake?

[01:11:09] No.

[01:11:10] No.

[01:11:11] It was a tiny lake.

[01:11:12] Okay.

[01:11:12] And I said, do you have to go?

[01:11:15] Yeah.

[01:11:15] Yeah.

[01:11:16] Bullshit.

[01:11:17] What?

[01:11:17] It's Saturday.

[01:11:18] Yeah.

[01:11:19] Well, you're not a good teammate if you don't show up.

[01:11:21] Oh my God.

[01:11:21] It was that kind of bullshit.

[01:11:22] It's a cult.

[01:11:23] I go, this is not a job.

[01:11:25] This is a cult.

[01:11:25] You have joined a cult.

[01:11:27] Are you willing to do it?

[01:11:28] And you're not allowed to date anybody within the whole infrastructure.

[01:11:31] So therefore, we're going to keep these people single.

[01:11:34] This is what we do in a cult.

[01:11:35] We keep them single.

[01:11:36] We keep them focused on the prize, eyes on the prize.

[01:11:39] And then we do fun things because a lot of them, I mean, it is consulting, not throwing

[01:11:43] all consultants under the bus.

[01:11:44] Just many are nerdish.

[01:11:46] So they're not going to find their own super social activity sometimes.

[01:11:50] And so we'll provide them with fun.

[01:11:54] Right.

[01:11:54] But then to make them.

[01:11:56] Structured fun.

[01:11:57] I'm sorry.

[01:11:57] I've gone way too long on this podcast.

[01:11:59] Structured fun.

[01:12:00] Structured fun.

[01:12:01] Starbucks.

[01:12:03] Everybody's got to get back there.

[01:12:05] X.

[01:12:06] I'm not calling it that.

[01:12:07] That's a part of my Irish standup.

[01:12:09] Twitter.

[01:12:09] I know.

[01:12:10] So many people are quitting Twitter.

[01:12:12] Yeah.

[01:12:13] It's sad.

[01:12:13] After the election, it was crazy.

[01:12:14] I know.

[01:12:15] Why quit?

[01:12:16] Well, I mean, I get why.

[01:12:18] It's probably bad.

[01:12:21] But I don't know.

[01:12:22] I'm going down with the ship.

[01:12:24] Everybody says threads.

[01:12:25] Everybody says...

[01:12:26] Threads or blue sky.

[01:12:27] Termites.

[01:12:28] Anybody voting on any of that?

[01:12:29] Mm-hmm.

[01:12:30] Or maybe fuck it.

[01:12:31] Just TikTok it away.

[01:12:33] Mm-hmm.

[01:12:33] Give all my shit to the Chinese.

[01:12:35] It's a Viking funeral.

[01:12:37] Yeah.

[01:12:38] I don't care.

[01:12:40] Elon Musk.

[01:12:41] I know he's going to make everybody go back.

[01:12:43] He did that with the Tesla people during the pandemic.

[01:12:46] Did?

[01:12:46] Oh, my God.

[01:12:47] Yeah.

[01:12:48] They all had to...

[01:12:48] That was before a vaccine or anything.

[01:12:50] They all had to go back to work or they were fired.

[01:12:52] Oh, my God.

[01:12:53] Oh, yeah.

[01:12:54] In 2020, all people were expected to return back full time.

[01:12:57] He would interpret a failure to show up as a resignation from the company.

[01:13:00] Well, yeah.

[01:13:01] Yeah.

[01:13:01] That's how you figure I quit when I don't show up.

[01:13:04] Uh-huh.

[01:13:04] Zoom.

[01:13:06] Zoom is making people...

[01:13:07] That's...

[01:13:07] Isn't that the ultimate irony?

[01:13:09] Zoom is making people physically come back, and all you're doing is providing us a way

[01:13:14] to not have to be with one another.

[01:13:16] Mm-hmm.

[01:13:16] Yeah.

[01:13:17] Dumb.

[01:13:18] Yeah.

[01:13:18] They told their workers who live near a company to report to their desk at least two times

[01:13:23] a week.

[01:13:23] That's manageable.

[01:13:24] Yeah.

[01:13:25] That's fine.

[01:13:26] Yeah.

[01:13:26] Okay.

[01:13:27] A couple times a week.

[01:13:29] Speaking of breweries where you can bring your dog, this makes me very sad.

[01:13:34] Molson Coors closing historic beloved line in Kugel's Brewery in Chippewa Wall Falls.

[01:13:38] Oh.

[01:13:38] Yeah.

[01:13:39] So, my cousin Mike lives up there, and it's by Eau Claire, and I did a gig there, and it's

[01:13:46] very sad.

[01:13:47] It's after more than 150 years of operating in the western Wisconsin town, a company parent,

[01:13:52] Molson Coors, centralizes brewing operations in Milwaukee.

[01:13:55] So, they're going to move it to Milwaukee, and I get it.

[01:13:57] That's where they're...

[01:13:58] But, come on.

[01:13:59] It's been going on for 150.

[01:14:00] You can't afford to keep the little guy going?

[01:14:02] Yeah.

[01:14:03] Well, it's never easy.

[01:14:04] These choices are made, which must thought and consideration to the position Molson

[01:14:07] Coors for continued success in Wisconsin and beyond.

[01:14:10] Brian Earhart, the company's chief supply chain officer, said in statement, the Line Lodge and

[01:14:16] Attach Pilot Brewery will remain open.

[01:14:18] Well, that's good.

[01:14:19] The Line Lodge?

[01:14:19] The Line Lodge.

[01:14:20] Yeah.

[01:14:31] I like it.

[01:14:34] The Line and Kugel family sold to Miller in 1988.

[01:14:39] Goes on and on.

[01:14:41] Sad.

[01:14:42] That was sent by Devin.

[01:14:44] Termite Devin.

[01:14:45] Devin?

[01:14:45] Termite Devin?

[01:14:46] Yeah.

[01:14:46] Yeah.

[01:14:47] I've been there.

[01:14:48] Me and my cousin Mary went.

[01:14:49] Last time I had a gig up that way, we went to go see her son Mike.

[01:14:52] Cool.

[01:14:52] Yeah.

[01:14:53] Too bad.

[01:14:53] Too sad.

[01:14:55] All right.

[01:14:56] Okay.

[01:14:57] I'm going to wrap this up in a little minute.

[01:15:01] This is freakish and awesome, I guess.

[01:15:05] I don't know.

[01:15:06] I want you guys to go look in the schnotes.

[01:15:09] A mysterious wyote dog caught on camera and even experts are puzzled.

[01:15:16] A wyote?

[01:15:17] That's what they named it.

[01:15:19] A wyote?

[01:15:19] Because they can't tell if it's a wolf or a coyote or a dog.

[01:15:24] A mysterious canine-like creature caught on camera in the Midwest wilds has experts scratching

[01:15:29] their head and scrambling to identify the baffling beast.

[01:15:33] To us, the animal eyes look coyote-esque, but it has some dog-like aspects to its appearance,

[01:15:39] especially its ears.

[01:15:40] The Voyager's Wolf Project, a conservative organization in northern Minnesota said.

[01:15:46] It's crazy because his ears are rounded, kind of like a dog, not a coyote, not the pointed

[01:15:54] ears, and possibly some wolf-like.

[01:15:56] Its legs are very long, like a wolf, and then it's got all the fur around its face like

[01:16:01] a wolf like a coyote wouldn't have that much, at least the ones I've seen, but they were

[01:16:06] in Griffith Park in Los Angeles, and I don't know about that.

[01:16:08] Rounded ears.

[01:16:09] Mm-hmm.

[01:16:13] It has a robust snout that is bigger than most local coyotes.

[01:16:17] It looks like a dog snout.

[01:16:19] It doesn't look like a coyote.

[01:16:21] Like, coyotes are longer and skinnier.

[01:16:22] What do you think it is?

[01:16:27] I think it's a wolf-dog.

[01:16:30] Oh, it's a log.

[01:16:31] It's a log.

[01:16:32] It's not a coyote, it's a log.

[01:16:33] Or it's a dow.

[01:16:37] It's eyes are much more rounded than like a wolf or a coyote, which makes me think dog.

[01:16:43] Yeah.

[01:16:43] And his nose isn't as skinny and long as a coyote, which makes me think dog.

[01:16:49] But his body?

[01:16:51] Wolfie.

[01:16:52] Wolfie.

[01:16:53] Yeah, I'm ruling out coyote on this one.

[01:16:55] I'm going wolf-dog.

[01:16:56] Got it.

[01:16:57] The project.

[01:16:59] They had discovered footage of the adorable unidentified park visitor last winter.

[01:17:04] It's up in Minnesota.

[01:17:06] Oh, he's really handsome here.

[01:17:08] A separate post showed a typical wolf and coyote in the era, neither of which look like this animal.

[01:17:12] And they fucking don't.

[01:17:13] Wow.

[01:17:14] Yeah, somebody got dirty and nasty and said, I'm not having sex with any of you people.

[01:17:20] And then he went, I'm going to go over here and get with that one.

[01:17:22] The cockapoo.

[01:17:23] Yeah, that's right.

[01:17:25] The canine doesn't look like any other coyote we've observed in the area.

[01:17:29] Noting there was no way they were to look at a purebred wolf either.

[01:17:35] No, it's definitely not a purebred wolf.

[01:17:36] Its ears are too weird.

[01:17:38] It looked more like an eastern coyote that live in eastern North America.

[01:17:42] I don't know what that would look like.

[01:17:45] But we'll put the picture up.

[01:17:47] To us, but still the ears just look real funny to us.

[01:17:51] The organization joked that their guest of honor may be the elusive coyote dog, a pretend hybrid vol three.

[01:17:59] Ultimately, we'll never know for sure because the animal just passed through our area in the winter

[01:18:02] and we haven't seen it on any of their trail cams since so we cannot get a genetic sampling to tell blah, blah, blah.

[01:18:12] Somebody wrote, I believe this is the North American cutie patootie.

[01:18:17] I like it.

[01:18:19] What I can tell you is that he's most definitely the household pet of Bigfoot.

[01:18:25] So funny, funny, funny.

[01:18:27] Go look at it if you want though.

[01:18:28] And then we have a feel good story.

[01:18:31] Oh, well, wait.

[01:18:32] Do we have time?

[01:18:33] Do I have time for this?

[01:18:34] We got time.

[01:18:35] Okay.

[01:18:36] Because I'm going to go next year, so I need to know this.

[01:18:40] Okay.

[01:18:42] I have only been to Italy once and I want to go to Pompeii.

[01:18:46] Well, it's limiting its visitors to protect ancient city from over-tourism.

[01:18:52] Oh.

[01:18:53] Now I know it's an expensive trip, so maybe a lot of termites aren't going.

[01:18:56] But if anybody is.

[01:18:57] But I also think this is good.

[01:18:59] They need to start doing this shit.

[01:19:00] It's all getting out of hand.

[01:19:03] Pompeii to limit visitor numbers to 20,000 a day and introduce personalized tickets from next week in an effort.

[01:19:09] Oh, from next week.

[01:19:10] In an effort to cope with over-tourism and protect the World Heritage Site.

[01:19:14] This summer, a record 4 million people visited the ancient remains of the Roman city, which was buried under Ashen Rock after the eruption.

[01:19:19] Mount Vesuvius, we know all that.

[01:19:23] Tickets to the park will be personalized from November 15th to include names of visitors.

[01:19:27] A maximum of 20,000 will be released a day with specific time slots during the summer.

[01:19:33] Now, my friend Nancy went and she said, if you are thinking about it, get the morning slots because it gets very hot.

[01:19:43] Oh, it does?

[01:19:44] Very, very, very hot.

[01:19:45] I can see that.

[01:19:46] Yeah.

[01:19:48] But there's other...

[01:19:49] This is like Greece with limiting the amount of people.

[01:19:54] It's getting too crazy.

[01:19:56] It's getting nuts.

[01:19:57] In April, Venice became the world's first large tourist city to charge people to enter as part of a trial aimed at dissuading day-trippers, blah, blah, blah.

[01:20:06] We went over that on this show a long time ago.

[01:20:08] But speaking of Europe and a feel-good story...

[01:20:11] Oh, my back hurts.

[01:20:13] The pickleball was intense last night.

[01:20:15] Was it good?

[01:20:15] Yeah, it was great.

[01:20:16] It was the first time we ever played like we knew what the fuck we were doing.

[01:20:19] Really?

[01:20:20] Yeah.

[01:20:20] And we cussed a little too much.

[01:20:21] We got some evil eyes from...

[01:20:23] There was a four-pack over there.

[01:20:25] Oh.

[01:20:26] Yeah.

[01:20:26] Not good.

[01:20:27] They had church things on their gym bag.

[01:20:29] So, unfortunately, I didn't see that until after.

[01:20:32] I went, God damn it!

[01:20:34] Come on, Pinky!

[01:20:36] Pinky?

[01:20:38] I wouldn't have done that if I had known it was going to...

[01:20:41] That's all right.

[01:20:41] Yeah.

[01:20:43] This makes me so happy because in the whole world, as far as what I think is pretty, I think Paris is the prettiest big city.

[01:20:52] Big city of all.

[01:20:54] It's beautiful.

[01:20:55] A lot of high rises, so the sun is everywhere.

[01:20:57] The architecture day.

[01:20:58] Well, and I've been here a couple times when we backpacked through Europe with my cousin Mary.

[01:21:05] The Notre Dame bells have ringed out in Paris for the first time since the 2019 fire.

[01:21:14] Wow.

[01:21:15] I remember that.

[01:21:16] That was so disturbing.

[01:21:18] The bells of Notre Dame in Paris rang out together for Friday's first time since 2019 fire.

[01:21:25] The sound of the eight bells in Notre Dame's northern belfry came a month before the cathedral.

[01:21:29] It's going to reopen following five years of painstaking restoration work in the wake of the blaze.

[01:21:34] This is beautiful, important, and a symbolic step.

[01:21:36] You know who gave the money?

[01:21:37] How much do we remember from this podcast?

[01:21:39] The Chanel lady.

[01:21:41] No.

[01:21:42] No?

[01:21:43] Come on.

[01:21:43] The richest lady in the world.

[01:21:45] Oh, L'Oreal.

[01:21:47] Yep.

[01:21:48] Betancourt.

[01:21:48] That lady was like, fix it, bitches.

[01:21:52] Oh, yeah.

[01:21:53] It was great.

[01:21:54] That's fantastic.

[01:21:55] It's wonderful for her.

[01:21:55] Yeah, there's good people.

[01:21:56] Oh.

[01:21:57] President Emmanuel Macron quickly set the ambitious goal to rule Notre Dame within five years

[01:22:02] to make it even more beautiful than before.

[01:22:04] So 250 companies and hundreds of experts were mobilized for a restoration costing hundreds

[01:22:09] of millions of euros.

[01:22:12] Shortly before 9.30 in the morning on Friday, the bells sounded one by one until all eight

[01:22:18] charmed in harmony for about five minutes.

[01:22:21] That's fantastic.

[01:22:21] Each bell had already been sound checked individually on Thursday.

[01:22:25] Oh.

[01:22:26] Sound checked?

[01:22:27] Yeah.

[01:22:28] Wow.

[01:22:29] So that's great.

[01:22:30] The heaviest bell, called Gabriel, weighs over four tons and the lightest, Jean-Marie,

[01:22:35] 800 kilograms, which means nothing to an American.

[01:22:37] More.

[01:22:39] A week of ceremonies is set to mark Notre Dame's reopening December 7th and 8th.

[01:22:44] Very exciting.

[01:22:45] Nice.

[01:22:47] It's expected to welcome 14 to 15 million visitors annually after reopening, compared

[01:22:55] to 12 million in 2017 before the fire.

[01:22:58] That's awesome.

[01:22:59] Yep.

[01:22:59] Yay.

[01:23:00] Yay.

[01:23:00] Very cool.

[01:23:02] Let me finish with a couple things and we'll get to some quotes and some thank yous for

[01:23:06] things at the Ryman, the Temptation Cat Treats.

[01:23:09] Now here's the thing.

[01:23:10] This guy, it made me laugh, R.D.

[01:23:13] I don't know if that's a matter of a matter of a matter of a matter of a matter of a matter

[01:23:14] that the cats are spoiled.

[01:23:16] Then they are because they will only eat greenies.

[01:23:20] However, they will eat Temptations.

[01:23:22] I do forget to add that in.

[01:23:24] Yeah.

[01:23:24] The other stuff, I've tried everything.

[01:23:26] They will scoot.

[01:23:28] They flick around it.

[01:23:29] What?

[01:23:30] And they just leave me with a bowl of trash.

[01:23:31] They're not feral.

[01:23:33] They're not.

[01:23:34] Well, even if they lived outside.

[01:23:36] That was from Alabama termite.

[01:23:39] Bigfoot.

[01:23:39] Fishing t-shirt.

[01:23:41] Springfield, Illinois.

[01:23:42] Oh, germites.

[01:23:44] Nice.

[01:23:44] Lynn and Beverly.

[01:23:45] Bison bites.

[01:23:47] Oh, the pickleball coffee mug is very funny.

[01:23:49] Cool.

[01:23:49] It said these are the tears of my opponent or something like that.

[01:23:52] It was very funny.

[01:23:54] It just says Bridget and Kia, one of the children.

[01:23:57] Nice.

[01:23:57] Good job, children.

[01:23:59] And then I got some stuff from the Dolly Parton exhibit from Sean who lives here, which

[01:24:03] was great.

[01:24:04] That's fun.

[01:24:04] Yeah.

[01:24:04] I got my Lake of the Ozarks shot glass and magnet.

[01:24:07] Nice.

[01:24:08] Osage River popcorn.

[01:24:09] Calvin's, termites Calvin, Jody, Dave, and Tammy.

[01:24:12] Cool.

[01:24:12] Thank you.

[01:24:13] Nice.

[01:24:13] And then from UPS, I got Tracy from Hagerstown, Maryland.

[01:24:18] Sent the Flying Boxcars AA baseball t-shirt.

[01:24:23] Cool.

[01:24:24] And I'm going to go buy everything they have because it's a girl's shirt.

[01:24:27] Oh, nice.

[01:24:27] Yeah.

[01:24:28] It's very cute.

[01:24:29] Like, it's cut for like-

[01:24:30] Purple or something.

[01:24:30] It's purple.

[01:24:31] Yeah.

[01:24:31] Yeah.

[01:24:32] So, loved it.

[01:24:33] So, thank you for that.

[01:24:34] Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[01:24:36] And it's time for some quotes.

[01:24:39] I got my eye on that moonshine.

[01:24:41] Nice.

[01:24:42] Oh, you can have some.

[01:24:44] This is my little Tropicana souvenir glass that Bob and Clark, they were cleaning out Bob's

[01:24:49] mom's basement or something, and he found that.

[01:24:52] Las Vegas Tropicana.

[01:24:53] I like it.

[01:24:54] I love it.

[01:24:54] Yeah.

[01:24:55] I didn't get any souvenirs from there.

[01:24:56] I have a chip.

[01:24:58] A craps chip.

[01:25:00] That was their thing.

[01:25:01] I know.

[01:25:01] They had real live birds everywhere.

[01:25:03] I hope so.

[01:25:04] It's covered in them.

[01:25:05] Yeah, that was the whole thing.

[01:25:06] You've gone to the tropics.

[01:25:07] Hello?

[01:25:08] Tropicana.

[01:25:09] Yeah.

[01:25:11] Nobody felt like that at the craps table.

[01:25:12] You could go to me.

[01:25:14] I picked Frida.

[01:25:15] She's a little dark.

[01:25:17] I picked Frida and then Cher to offset Frida.

[01:25:20] Frida.

[01:25:21] It was one of the greatest movies.

[01:25:23] Selma Hayek was fantastic.

[01:25:24] It was great.

[01:25:25] I want to go to the Blue House in Mexico City.

[01:25:30] Oh, no.

[01:25:31] That one's too sad.

[01:25:33] Oh.

[01:25:33] Yeah, she has a lot of sad ones.

[01:25:40] Maybe we don't do these.

[01:25:43] There's various bad self-esteem.

[01:25:45] Yeah.

[01:25:45] Yeah.

[01:25:48] Well, I know, but I...

[01:25:49] You know her art.

[01:25:50] I know her art.

[01:25:52] It's crazy.

[01:25:52] Guts and fun.

[01:25:53] I love it.

[01:25:54] Monkeys.

[01:25:55] She has a lot of monkeys.

[01:25:56] Monkeys.

[01:25:56] She loved monkeys.

[01:25:57] She had monkeys.

[01:25:58] Yeah.

[01:25:58] At her house.

[01:25:59] Casa Azul.

[01:26:03] I can't...

[01:26:04] These are just...

[01:26:07] I'm going to do two from Cher.

[01:26:09] These are too dark and depressing.

[01:26:10] This is for fun.

[01:26:12] This place is a fun zone.

[01:26:13] We can't go from Notre Dame.

[01:26:14] I mean, we learn things, but we learn them in a fun way.

[01:26:16] Yeah.

[01:26:17] Notre Dame.

[01:26:17] Talk shit about the vitamin shoppy.

[01:26:27] Okay.

[01:26:28] I had...

[01:26:28] This is to IMDB.

[01:26:30] Oh, that's like the...

[01:26:32] It's a show business thing.

[01:26:33] Yeah.

[01:26:33] I haven't a clue why I've lasted so long.

[01:26:35] There's no reason at all.

[01:26:37] There are so many people more talented than me.

[01:26:39] I think it's just luck.

[01:26:40] All right.

[01:26:41] Good for you.

[01:26:43] Oh, my God.

[01:26:44] This makes me laugh because moving from L.A. to Tennessee or back to Missouri,

[01:26:51] Tennessee is...

[01:26:52] Missouri doesn't have a Southern vibe.

[01:26:53] Missouri is more Midwest.

[01:26:55] Tennessee is Southern.

[01:26:56] I had only been here a week, and I had already been called Precious six times.

[01:26:59] And I'm like, you know what?

[01:27:00] You're not.

[01:27:01] It's adorable that you think that because you don't know me yet.

[01:27:04] No.

[01:27:05] I am a lot of things.

[01:27:07] No.

[01:27:07] Precious has never come up.

[01:27:08] I am not a...

[01:27:09] What were those things?

[01:27:11] Hummel?

[01:27:11] Precious moments.

[01:27:12] Precious moments.

[01:27:13] Mm-hmm.

[01:27:14] Anyway, Cher said, I'm serious about my work, but I don't take myself seriously.

[01:27:19] I'm not precious, you know?

[01:27:21] So...

[01:27:22] Good girl.

[01:27:22] But these people down here would be like, Kathleen, Kathleen.

[01:27:26] There was sort of extra A in there.

[01:27:28] Kathleen, you're just precious.

[01:27:30] And I think, no, you just say that because I'm short.

[01:27:32] Right.

[01:27:33] And you don't know me yet.

[01:27:34] I'm a pocket pal.

[01:27:34] Once I start talking, you're going to want to retract that.

[01:27:37] She's naughty.

[01:27:39] Kathleen, you certainly speak your mind, don't you?

[01:27:41] I like an opinionated part.

[01:27:42] They always find the positive.

[01:27:44] Always just give the Southerners an extra five minutes.

[01:27:47] Uh-huh.

[01:27:47] And that's the thing, though.

[01:27:49] If you're not truly Southern, patience is your friend down here.

[01:27:53] Patience is your friend.

[01:27:54] Because you're like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

[01:27:55] Could you just answer the question?

[01:27:57] Thank you.

[01:27:58] Sex.

[01:27:58] Sex.

[01:27:59] Sex.

[01:28:00] All right, termites.

[01:28:01] What do you do in Boston?

[01:28:03] In Boston?

[01:28:03] Uh-huh.

[01:28:04] Well, I'm going to go to a bunch of my favorite pubs.

[01:28:06] I'm going to eat a bunch of clam chowder.

[01:28:08] Uh-huh.

[01:28:08] And I'm going to get a bunch of Guinness.

[01:28:10] Nice.

[01:28:11] And I'm going to go walk by the water because I'm sure it's getting chilly the way I like it.

[01:28:14] And then the water gets all jazzed up and crazy.

[01:28:18] And might take a ferry ride just to be out there.

[01:28:21] Cool.

[01:28:21] Yep.

[01:28:21] I've been known to do it.

[01:28:23] I don't even care where it's going.

[01:28:24] I just go down and buy any ferry ticket as long as it's not too far because I got to get back.

[01:28:28] I don't know.

[01:28:29] Go out on a boat, I hope.

[01:28:32] Might be too long.

[01:28:33] I haven't checked the weather yet.

[01:28:34] It didn't look too bad.

[01:28:36] All right, termites.

[01:28:37] That's it.