Episode 199: Parlay Betting For Beginners, Bloody Mary Bars, & Halloween’s Prettiest Witch

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan, welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:24] Termites, episode 199.

[00:00:27] There's a lot of Stevie updates today. Queen news. I'm gonna try not to read the whole theater whole voice but there's a couple I'm going to do in her voice.

[00:00:40] Wow, termites, fire. 199. I know it'll be two hundo.

[00:00:49] What a weekend. It was great. Let's just start with, well what are we drinking before I get to work?

[00:00:55] Well, I went to Spartanburg, South Carolina and then Wilming to North Carolina. Drove the entire state of North Carolina and it was lovely.

[00:01:03] No bad construction, just driving like you used to say, let's go out and take a drive. Who does that anymore, right?

[00:01:09] Because of traffic. Well, you can in North Carolina. This is a Chilsner with lime. It's a Pilsner beer and this was brought by, it's from South Carolina.

[00:01:18] It was brought by Krista and Bill to the Spartanburg show. And here's what I love about this beer. On the back, it says,

[00:01:28] it's got lime in it. It's a German Pilsner with waves of zesty lime, floral hops, biscuit malt crash over your palate.

[00:01:39] Wow. Biscuity malt crash over your palate. Pears well with, nobody ever pears beer. Coconut shrimp.

[00:01:48] Nice. No. I don't like coconut. No. Potato chips, sure. Black and fish tacos and Linsner cookies.

[00:01:56] But who bothers to put that on their can? Nobody. I like, I don't know. What's a Linsner cookie? Google it.

[00:02:02] Probably something from there. So cheers to you guys for bringing that to Spartanburg.

[00:02:09] I'm also drinking a Bloody Mary. A Vienna cookie? Like a little biscuit?

[00:02:19] They also have them at Williams-Sonoma. They have them at Williams-Sonoma? They sell food there?

[00:02:23] Yeah. They're short fried cookies.

[00:02:26] Oh. Well, I haven't been at Williams-Sonoma in probably 30 years.

[00:02:30] You don't cook.

[00:02:31] I don't cook and I don't need anything in there.

[00:02:33] No.

[00:02:33] No. Uber Eats does all that. I don't need to do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:02:38] This is Dirty Girl Vodka brought to me by termites Lisa, Ned, Aaron, and Marshall from Augusta, Georgia.

[00:02:43] Nice.

[00:02:43] Which I do work sometimes. Have to be patient on cities like that, though, because it's usually a three-year turnaround.

[00:02:49] It's not a two-year.

[00:02:50] No.

[00:02:50] Dead Town's too small.

[00:02:51] Right.

[00:02:52] Right. So, anyway, they brought this Dirty Girl Vodka.

[00:02:55] Delicious.

[00:02:56] So, I thought, oh, yeah.

[00:02:59] Nice.

[00:02:59] Why not have two drinks since I'm off today?

[00:03:03] I have pickleball, but I think I can squeeze a nap in.

[00:03:05] I have pickleball.

[00:03:08] I have to do real work tomorrow. I have to go on the Nashville show with Carol on TV, so I have to look TV ready.

[00:03:15] Good day, Nashville.

[00:03:15] Good day, Nashville. And then on my friends Big D and Bubba's Radio Deal. I don't have to look nice for that,

[00:03:20] but I already look nice because I've been on the color television.

[00:03:24] Nice.

[00:03:25] Yeah.

[00:03:25] The color TV.

[00:03:26] She's fun. Her show's a lot of fun. Some of those local shows in certain towns, yeah, not so...

[00:03:31] Well, they're always just a little...

[00:03:34] They're uptight.

[00:03:35] But Carol's not uptight.

[00:03:36] No.

[00:03:36] It's mostly musicians and comedy and cooking, and it's fun.

[00:03:40] Yeah.

[00:03:40] I watch it, actually, and normally I would turn those things off.

[00:03:43] Maybe you can cook.

[00:03:44] Oh, as soon as they were like, oh, the cooking segment, I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:03:50] I will eat whatever that lady made, though. It looks really good.

[00:03:53] Okay, this...

[00:03:55] So the Carolinas, if you listen to this podcast, you know I love North Carolina barbecue sauce

[00:04:00] more than anything because it's mostly vinegar. South Carolina, they go with a lot of mustard

[00:04:05] vinegar, just as good. I'd probably, if I had to choose, it would have gone to my head,

[00:04:10] go North Carolina. But what I like to do is mix the South Carolina with the North Carolina.

[00:04:15] Oh, my God.

[00:04:15] Yes, and then you get what is called a Carolina crack sauce.

[00:04:20] What?

[00:04:20] Yeah, that's what they call this. It's Hampton Acres, and I hadn't tasted it, so I bought it.

[00:04:26] I went to Max's speed shop to get barbecue with Kelly.

[00:04:29] You got that from a termite.

[00:04:30] This came from a termite.

[00:04:32] Yeah. Oh, right. No, I bought my own Max's stuff.

[00:04:40] Mustardy delicious.

[00:04:41] It's from Seltzer, South Carolina. It doesn't say on here.

[00:04:46] Oh.

[00:04:47] Yeah.

[00:04:47] I failed.

[00:04:48] Thank you.

[00:04:49] Yeah.

[00:04:49] Paddles.

[00:04:51] Act like my dad. Don't have a question. You don't know the answer to.

[00:04:56] I do not recall.

[00:04:57] You do not recall because you did this. God, I love it.

[00:05:01] This is, I haven't had breakfast. I haven't had breakfast, and I don't even care.

[00:05:07] In honor of my research, it's just in Bob and Clark. We have another one from the Korean

[00:05:11] crazy store.

[00:05:12] Nice.

[00:05:12] Lay's potato chips. I'm a little afraid to eat this one.

[00:05:15] What is it?

[00:05:16] Spicy crayfish flavor.

[00:05:17] Oh.

[00:05:18] Here we go.

[00:05:20] Sorry about the noise.

[00:05:22] Sorry, I usually...

[00:05:23] Jesus Christ.

[00:05:25] Hold on.

[00:05:26] I was trying to do it fast.

[00:05:30] God damn it. I should have done this beforehand.

[00:05:33] Oh, my God.

[00:05:34] No. No. I won't give up.

[00:05:36] No.

[00:05:37] Here we go.

[00:05:38] That was easy.

[00:05:39] Adjust your headphones.

[00:05:40] Yeah.

[00:05:41] Did I run you all off with that noise?

[00:05:43] Probably.

[00:05:48] Yeah, there's a little picture.

[00:05:49] Looks like a crawfish to me, but...

[00:05:51] It is a crawfish.

[00:05:52] But it says crayfish.

[00:05:53] That's how you spell it.

[00:05:54] That's how you spell crawfish?

[00:05:56] Over there.

[00:05:57] Over there?

[00:05:57] Mm-hmm.

[00:05:58] Let me Google it.

[00:05:58] They don't even have the same letters.

[00:06:00] You don't know what you're talking about.

[00:06:01] You're just throwing lies out there already, and we just started.

[00:06:05] Five minutes in, you've lied twice.

[00:06:06] That's so crayfish.

[00:06:16] No.

[00:06:18] Clark, let's stick with that spicy Italian meat.

[00:06:21] Yeah, that's gross.

[00:06:22] Let's say it's like if shrimp sat out.

[00:06:25] Oh!

[00:06:25] Yeah.

[00:06:26] Oh!

[00:06:28] It's...

[00:06:28] Well, I don't know.

[00:06:30] Maybe the Koreans like it.

[00:06:32] A crayfish.

[00:06:33] A crayfish.

[00:06:34] It's a decapod crustacean.

[00:06:36] A decapod crustacean?

[00:06:37] Yep.

[00:06:38] Now Google crawfish.

[00:06:39] There's such a thing as crawfish.

[00:06:41] You're just lying.

[00:06:41] A lying machine over there.

[00:06:43] You can always have crawfish.

[00:06:44] Crawfish is with a W.

[00:06:47] Right.

[00:06:48] They're in the South.

[00:06:49] A crawfish broil.

[00:06:51] Where are you?

[00:06:51] Boil.

[00:06:52] Broil.

[00:06:53] Boil.

[00:06:54] This bag of potato chips.

[00:06:56] Oh.

[00:06:56] It's the same thing.

[00:06:57] It's the same thing?

[00:06:58] Mm-hmm.

[00:06:59] Oh.

[00:06:59] They just...

[00:07:02] In Louisiana, that's where I eat it.

[00:07:04] Great.

[00:07:04] Yeah.

[00:07:05] I haven't been to any outside of there.

[00:07:08] People...

[00:07:08] People...

[00:07:12] Crawdads.

[00:07:12] Well, as a kid, I said we're going to catch crawdads.

[00:07:14] I didn't know those were the same things as crawfish.

[00:07:16] They have those in Missouri.

[00:07:18] Crawdads?

[00:07:18] Yes.

[00:07:18] Every creek.

[00:07:20] Every creek.

[00:07:21] I would spend hours.

[00:07:23] I'd have buckets of them.

[00:07:24] I've never seen them on a menu.

[00:07:26] No.

[00:07:26] I've never seen a crawdad on a menu.

[00:07:28] My parents never said you could eat them.

[00:07:29] I would just catch them.

[00:07:30] They're hard to catch.

[00:07:32] It became like a competition.

[00:07:33] What'd you do with them?

[00:07:34] I watched them in a bucket for a while and then threw them back.

[00:07:38] That's what happens when you don't have cable or iPhones.

[00:07:41] Hey, Kathleen, what'd you do all day?

[00:07:42] Ah, I caught some crawdads that were super hard to catch with my cousin Mike in the creek

[00:07:47] that I'm sure is being polluted by Monsanto, but we're supposed to all act like our hands

[00:07:51] aren't green when we're done.

[00:07:52] We're good.

[00:07:53] And then I watched them crawl around in the bucket until I thought they need to go back

[00:07:57] in the water.

[00:07:58] Wow.

[00:07:58] And then I set them free.

[00:08:00] That's hilarious.

[00:08:00] This bag of potato chips, this is brought from Claudia from Apollo Beach, Florida, and

[00:08:05] I don't even know where that is, and I know where a lot of things are in Florida, but

[00:08:08] wherever this is, Claudia brought the funniest bag of potato chips.

[00:08:11] It's called Keo's, and it's from Ireland, and there's a family on the front of the potato

[00:08:18] chip bag.

[00:08:19] There's sour cream and shamrock, and then...

[00:08:23] Did you just say sour cream and shamrock?

[00:08:25] I said, yeah, sour cream and shamrock.

[00:08:28] Okay.

[00:08:28] Real ingredients, real taste.

[00:08:30] Here's what I love.

[00:08:32] Why not call us on the farm phone for a chat about our chips, and then there's a phone number.

[00:08:38] I'm supposed to call them and tell them how I feel about their potato chips.

[00:08:41] How nice is that?

[00:08:43] Wow.

[00:08:43] It's outside of Dublin.

[00:08:44] Yeah, in Ireland.

[00:08:46] This bag, there's a QR code, and you can trace this bag to the potato field it came

[00:08:54] from.

[00:08:54] Stop it.

[00:08:55] Yep, and even meet the person who cooked them.

[00:08:57] Or you can just scan the code and visit the SPUD page of our website.

[00:09:02] Cool.

[00:09:03] I just like that they want me to call and talk about, call their farm.

[00:09:06] You're supposed to call the family farm.

[00:09:08] That's pretty cool.

[00:09:09] That's pretty cool.

[00:09:10] I like it.

[00:09:11] Well, here we go.

[00:09:12] Oh, yeah.

[00:09:13] They're thick.

[00:09:14] Wow, that's like a whole goddamn potato.

[00:09:16] That's like the skin of a potato.

[00:09:20] Wow.

[00:09:22] I'm just going to call them and say, well done, and hang up.

[00:09:26] Yep.

[00:09:26] Well done.

[00:09:27] Pair with a Bloody Mary.

[00:09:29] Pairs well with anything.

[00:09:31] Yeah.

[00:09:32] Really good.

[00:09:33] Nice.

[00:09:33] What a crazy...

[00:09:34] It's very funny.

[00:09:35] Small batch.

[00:09:36] They act like it's whiskey.

[00:09:39] Contains real shamrocks.

[00:09:40] Am I eating grass?

[00:09:43] Hmm.

[00:09:44] And then there's these really cute guys on the front.

[00:09:46] Well, one looks like George Bush Sr.

[00:09:47] He's not very...

[00:09:48] He's old.

[00:09:49] And then this one's cute.

[00:09:51] He's so cute.

[00:09:51] That one's cute.

[00:09:52] This one's cute.

[00:09:53] There's like...

[00:09:54] Yeah.

[00:09:54] Well, they're all cute.

[00:09:55] Whatever.

[00:09:56] Nice.

[00:09:56] All right.

[00:09:58] Moving on.

[00:09:59] Let me get rid of some of this stuff.

[00:10:01] Okay.

[00:10:02] Upcoming shows.

[00:10:04] Well, here we have it.

[00:10:05] November 9th.

[00:10:06] That would be not this Saturday, next Saturday.

[00:10:08] The Ryman.

[00:10:10] Boom.

[00:10:10] I'm so excited.

[00:10:12] If you've ever heard of the Hatch Print Show.

[00:10:15] Hatch Show Print.

[00:10:16] Hatch Show Print.

[00:10:17] Or that.

[00:10:17] Yeah.

[00:10:18] Or Crawfish or Crawdad.

[00:10:19] Crayfish.

[00:10:20] Or Crayfish.

[00:10:20] Yeah.

[00:10:22] They make...

[00:10:23] It's a famous thing to get a poster.

[00:10:26] And you can go...

[00:10:27] If you come to Nashville, you can go to the print shop and watch them do it.

[00:10:30] And you can buy...

[00:10:30] They have all kinds of old posters out that are in alphabetical.

[00:10:33] Or you can buy a poster of somebody you like that performed at the Ryman.

[00:10:36] Cool.

[00:10:36] But when you perform at the Ryman, they make you a poster.

[00:10:41] Well, if you're the performer person.

[00:10:42] Right.

[00:10:43] And it's kind of like a little bit of a surprise.

[00:10:45] And it's fun.

[00:10:46] Nice.

[00:10:46] Yeah.

[00:10:47] And then it's like a little historic piece thing.

[00:10:49] And all my friends are going to come.

[00:10:52] And there you have it.

[00:10:53] That's the 9th.

[00:10:55] So...

[00:10:55] Then...

[00:10:56] Then we're moving on to where...

[00:10:58] Bastard!

[00:10:58] Bastard!

[00:10:59] Where Kelly McFarlane's from.

[00:11:01] She's so funny.

[00:11:02] Funny.

[00:11:02] She did...

[00:11:03] She just does...

[00:11:04] She's just funny.

[00:11:06] Even her new shit, I laugh my ass off.

[00:11:08] She was with you this weekend.

[00:11:09] I know.

[00:11:10] She's coming to Boston to do those shows.

[00:11:14] But she was with me this weekend.

[00:11:17] El Cajon...

[00:11:17] Nashville is the Ryman.

[00:11:19] And it is Aaron Weber.

[00:11:20] Nice!

[00:11:21] It is going to be opening.

[00:11:22] He's very funny too.

[00:11:23] Cool.

[00:11:23] November 22nd, 23rd.

[00:11:25] El Cajon and Riverside.

[00:11:27] Fun.

[00:11:27] Yeah.

[00:11:28] Always fun.

[00:11:29] November...

[00:11:29] December 6th.

[00:11:31] Shippenburg...

[00:11:31] Shippensburg, Pennsylvania.

[00:11:34] And then Ben Salem, which is Parks Casino.

[00:11:36] And then all the 2025 dates are on the website.

[00:11:41] And there's a million of them.

[00:11:43] New tour name.

[00:11:44] New tour name is Day Drinking.

[00:11:47] So that's what's going on in 2025.

[00:11:49] If you want to see all those shows, we're adding shows.

[00:11:51] Very happy about that.

[00:11:53] We're going to add a show in Minnesota.

[00:11:55] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[00:11:56] Whoa!

[00:11:56] The casino.

[00:11:57] And then we're going to add a show somewhere else.

[00:12:00] I forgot.

[00:12:01] Fort Lauderdale.

[00:12:01] Fort Lauderdale.

[00:12:02] That's right.

[00:12:03] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:04] You added a second show.

[00:12:05] I'm going to add a Thursday night.

[00:12:06] You added a Long Island show.

[00:12:08] And added a second show in Huntington, New York.

[00:12:10] Way to go, Long Island termites.

[00:12:12] That's the way to show up early and get those tickets.

[00:12:14] And then we know.

[00:12:14] Can we sell another one?

[00:12:15] Boom, yes, we can.

[00:12:17] Yep.

[00:12:19] Just some shout-outs about this weekend.

[00:12:21] Everybody in Spartanburg, you have to stop apologizing to me about the venue.

[00:12:27] First of all, you guys, you would not even believe some of the places I performed to get to this point 35 years later.

[00:12:36] So as long as there's not chicken wire surrounding the stage, I'm usually happy.

[00:12:39] Because that happened at a one-nighter in Kansas where I'm like, wow, I'm actually an animal.

[00:12:44] I'm a caged animal.

[00:12:46] That's funny.

[00:12:46] It was fine.

[00:12:47] It's like this big, it's like a concrete, it kind of feels like a fallout shelter.

[00:12:52] But they're trying really hard and they made it as nice as possible.

[00:12:55] I was fine with it.

[00:12:56] Yeah.

[00:12:56] But everybody was like, well, this is embarrassing, right?

[00:12:59] I'm like, no, stop saying that.

[00:13:01] It would also be super good for music because it's kind of big and I had a wonderful time.

[00:13:07] The crowd was crazy great.

[00:13:10] And the staff was crazy great.

[00:13:11] Everybody was super friendly.

[00:13:13] I wish I could have stayed.

[00:13:15] I didn't have enough time in the city to go see Spartanburg more.

[00:13:20] But Wilmington, thumbs up there too.

[00:13:23] I want to go back.

[00:13:24] I didn't want to leave.

[00:13:25] There's river barges that have fish bar, taco bars down there and great beer.

[00:13:30] And the downtown is great.

[00:13:32] And it's North Carolina, but they still have Southern food like Jambalaya and all that good stuff.

[00:13:36] And there's also the ocean.

[00:13:38] The beach is right there.

[00:13:39] So I was trying to tell my brother, this is where he always wants a Thanksgiving trip and they go east for her side of the family.

[00:13:47] Like take the kids to Wilmington.

[00:13:48] You can rent a beach house.

[00:13:49] You can have the beach or the river.

[00:13:51] You can rent houseboats on the river.

[00:13:53] The whole place was just, I'd never been there, I realized.

[00:13:56] And I've been everywhere.

[00:13:57] Yeah.

[00:13:58] It was wonderful.

[00:13:59] Where did you eat?

[00:14:00] And somebody's.

[00:14:01] I ate at a place called Ann Bonnie's.

[00:14:03] Me and Kelly went down there.

[00:14:04] It's on the river and it's a floating barge.

[00:14:06] And I had a thing called a sea dog.

[00:14:09] It looked great.

[00:14:10] I took a video of it.

[00:14:11] It's pieces of fried cod.

[00:14:14] But it's like in the shape of a hot dog, like long.

[00:14:17] And then they put this Cajun sauce all over it.

[00:14:19] So it's like a fried fish sandwich.

[00:14:20] But it just, yeah, lightly fried.

[00:14:22] Fried.

[00:14:22] I always like to emphasize lightly fried.

[00:14:24] To make myself feel better about that.

[00:14:26] It's healthy.

[00:14:28] Yeah, we could have split it though.

[00:14:29] Sandwich is huge.

[00:14:31] Fun.

[00:14:32] The whole place was fun.

[00:14:34] Downtown, everything.

[00:14:35] Moving on.

[00:14:37] I have crackers everywhere.

[00:14:38] Totally worth it.

[00:14:40] I just, this just is information.

[00:14:43] Okay.

[00:14:44] This came to the team email, I think.

[00:14:47] It's from Kevin.

[00:14:48] Kevin.

[00:14:51] He's a trucker.

[00:14:52] And I always said, I wonder if those showers at Loves are nice.

[00:14:55] Because I stop at Loves all the time.

[00:14:56] If there's no Buc-ee's, I go to Loves.

[00:14:59] Loves showers are super clean, well stocked.

[00:15:01] And I'd say the best of all truck shop chains.

[00:15:03] Chains.

[00:15:04] However, I've always found that most showers for truckers are well maintained.

[00:15:06] Most likely than the average trucker's own home.

[00:15:10] There you go.

[00:15:11] Love listening to you while I'm cruising.

[00:15:14] Flamingo dude.

[00:15:15] A.K.A.

[00:15:15] Kevin.

[00:15:16] All right.

[00:15:16] Well, thanks for that.

[00:15:17] Now I know.

[00:15:18] My mystery's been solved.

[00:15:19] And now I know you guys are sitting at home going, can't wait to get to Loves and take

[00:15:23] a shower.

[00:15:23] I mean, this water pressure in this house is just not what I was hoping for.

[00:15:27] That's good for them.

[00:15:29] Now you know.

[00:15:30] Do you have to be a trucker to use it?

[00:15:33] The average person.

[00:15:34] It would be weird if I just went and asked for a shower, right?

[00:15:37] You're sitting out in your DMC.

[00:15:40] Sitting out in a rented Yukon.

[00:15:43] Hey, you mind if I take a shower?

[00:15:45] Just feeling a little grungy.

[00:15:47] Yeah.

[00:15:47] I stopped in an old courtyard and I'm not sure how that went.

[00:15:53] Oh my God.

[00:15:54] I almost forgot too.

[00:15:57] So drove to Raleigh to fly out because it was more flights than in Wilmington.

[00:16:02] Two hour drive.

[00:16:03] No big deal.

[00:16:04] There's a brand new Westin by the airport.

[00:16:06] And then there was this shop.

[00:16:08] Kelly and I, we were kind of hungry, but I'm like, well, it's midnight.

[00:16:12] You know, don't need to be eating at night.

[00:16:13] It was like, oh, like the angel sang.

[00:16:17] And I'm like, what is that?

[00:16:18] And it was right next to the gas station.

[00:16:19] We had to get gas anyway for the road guard.

[00:16:22] It was called the Galleria.

[00:16:25] It was crazy.

[00:16:27] It's like a wah-wah times a million.

[00:16:29] Dare I say, better than a Buc-ee's.

[00:16:32] I know.

[00:16:33] Oh.

[00:16:34] Well, and then in the back, I saw this little sign.

[00:16:36] It was like a little billboard thing that said, oh, want to enjoy the games?

[00:16:40] Come to our back bar.

[00:16:41] They had a whole sports bar back there.

[00:16:43] It was open at midnight.

[00:16:44] You build your own sandwiches on the computer.

[00:16:46] Boom.

[00:16:46] Your sandwiches are out.

[00:16:47] It was the most futuristic thing I've ever seen.

[00:16:50] Ever.

[00:16:50] Ever, ever, ever.

[00:16:51] I got to tell Lou, congratulations.

[00:16:53] He's a Raleigh-Durham guy when he's not in New York.

[00:16:55] And he'd never get out of there.

[00:16:58] There's so many choices.

[00:17:00] So that was all great.

[00:17:01] Wow.

[00:17:02] Yeah.

[00:17:03] All right.

[00:17:04] Moving on.

[00:17:05] Some Queen news.

[00:17:08] Chapel.

[00:17:09] Little southern Missouri.

[00:17:11] Chapel Roan opened up a can of whoop-ass on somebody, and I'm here for it.

[00:17:16] She confronted a photographer who yelled at her at a Grammy party tonight at Olivia Rodrigo's Guts tour movie premiere.

[00:17:25] So she's all dressed up, and she's on the purple carpet.

[00:17:29] It's a purple one for some reason.

[00:17:30] Nice.

[00:17:30] She looks adorable and funky, and I spy somebody, and she just immediately became inflamed.

[00:17:37] This is what I like about the 20-somethings.

[00:17:39] See, I would have been like, there's that asshole that was mean to me at the party, son of a bitch.

[00:17:45] I hope you fall backwards.

[00:17:46] Like, I would be thinking things, but I would never say it.

[00:17:50] She just walked out.

[00:17:51] She goes, you.

[00:17:52] You.

[00:17:53] No.

[00:17:53] No, no, not you.

[00:17:54] You.

[00:17:55] You were mean to me at the Grammy party.

[00:17:57] Oh, she just went off.

[00:17:58] And you can't really hear what the person or the accused is responding with.

[00:18:07] But I could tell she got, and then some lady comes and grabs her arm and is like, all right, let's get out of here.

[00:18:12] Like, you said your piece.

[00:18:14] But good for the children.

[00:18:15] That's funny.

[00:18:16] They just walk right up.

[00:18:17] I remember exactly what you did.

[00:18:19] No.

[00:18:19] No.

[00:18:21] Oh, my God.

[00:18:22] Stevie.

[00:18:23] No.

[00:18:23] No.

[00:18:26] Stevie did an interview with Rolling Stone.

[00:18:28] And because I do the work of the Lord, I'm not going to read you the entire thing.

[00:18:32] I just pulled out some quotes that I thought made me kind of laugh.

[00:18:35] And the reporter was kind of, that's a young person, I suppose.

[00:18:39] Angie.

[00:18:40] Somebody.

[00:18:40] It's a good story.

[00:18:41] She wrote a good story.

[00:18:43] Yeah.

[00:18:44] Let me see.

[00:18:45] I.

[00:18:46] She talked about being on Saturday Night Live and all that.

[00:18:51] Did she like it?

[00:18:52] She.

[00:18:54] Did Stevie like it?

[00:18:55] Yeah.

[00:18:55] Yeah.

[00:18:56] She said she was very nervous.

[00:18:57] And then she goes, oh, because she was on CBS Sunday morning, too.

[00:19:03] Hi.

[00:19:04] I'm Jane Pauley.

[00:19:07] Jane, just because everybody watching this is old doesn't mean you have to talk so slowly.

[00:19:11] No.

[00:19:11] Let's.

[00:19:11] Can we get some Adderall going?

[00:19:14] Let's chit chat.

[00:19:15] Come on, Jane.

[00:19:16] But if you just sink into it, it's like you're being told a story.

[00:19:22] Right.

[00:19:22] From an old aunt who's your friend.

[00:19:24] Like, I like Jane Pauley.

[00:19:26] It's just the show itself.

[00:19:27] But anyway, she was on that, too.

[00:19:31] And this girl, the reporter, said, where should I sit in the interview?

[00:19:36] And Stevie said, you're good right there as long as you don't think you have COVID.

[00:19:40] And the girl said, no, I don't.

[00:19:42] And Stevie said, well, thank goodness.

[00:19:45] Well, thank goodness.

[00:19:47] We're done touring for a while so I can go home and not have this mask on all the time.

[00:19:50] As a singer with asthma, I fucking hate the mask.

[00:19:53] But I wear them.

[00:19:54] People give you dirty looks.

[00:19:56] I dare anybody give me a dirty look.

[00:19:58] I would just say, hey, you know what?

[00:20:00] I'm Stevie Nicks.

[00:20:01] And if I get sick, the entire thing goes down.

[00:20:04] Forty families are out of work.

[00:20:05] So that's why I have a mask on, asshole.

[00:20:08] Whoa!

[00:20:09] Boom!

[00:20:12] She clearly has gotten a lot of dirty looks.

[00:20:15] She can stop with I'm Stevie Nicks.

[00:20:16] Well, she could stop with I'm Stevie Nicks.

[00:20:18] But I like that she's just like, asshole.

[00:20:21] It's just so.

[00:20:24] She thinks she's going to live to be about 95.

[00:20:27] Okay.

[00:20:28] Well, but she doesn't want to.

[00:20:30] She said, I'll probably live to be hatefully 95 years old.

[00:20:33] I don't.

[00:20:34] I have no want to be that old, honestly.

[00:20:36] I mean, I'll have an electric scooter and I'll be raging and I will keep dancing, but I'm not looking forward to it, really.

[00:20:42] I think it's too old.

[00:20:43] My mom died at 84 and my dad died at 80, but I'm a younger person at 76 and they were at 76.

[00:20:49] So I figure 88, 89.

[00:20:52] That's when she'd like to die.

[00:20:53] Well, that only gives you 12, 13 more years.

[00:20:58] I guess these old people are.

[00:20:59] I mean, I've done the retirement numbers.

[00:21:01] I haven't done the death numbers on myself yet, but I've done the.

[00:21:07] Well, would your parents start getting crazy sick and all this shit and all my friends?

[00:21:11] It's you start thinking about that like shit.

[00:21:13] And then, you know, okay.

[00:21:18] Okay.

[00:21:19] She's not on the Internet.

[00:21:25] No, Stevie's not on the Internet.

[00:21:27] But this is when, you know, you're super rich.

[00:21:29] She doesn't even go on the Internet.

[00:21:31] Well, her stuff's on there, but she didn't put it up there.

[00:21:34] Right.

[00:21:34] There's some kid running her website.

[00:21:36] Yeah.

[00:21:38] Here, Stevie, here's this URL.

[00:21:39] Could you please post this?

[00:21:41] And now I'm going to need a vertical version for TikTok.

[00:21:44] And then I'm going to need a horizontal one for the facial book.

[00:21:49] Please follow me on TikTok, by the way.

[00:21:51] Official Kathleen Madigan.

[00:21:52] My Mormon joke got a million cranks.

[00:21:54] I can't believe it.

[00:21:55] We got to do it again.

[00:21:55] I just put up my hunting joke.

[00:21:57] Next week, I'm going to put up my voting jokes.

[00:21:59] They're old.

[00:22:00] A lot of, I found all the old stuff.

[00:22:01] And then the children helped me.

[00:22:02] So now they're ready.

[00:22:03] Ask termites if they like to see the jokes.

[00:22:05] Termites, do you like to see the jokes?

[00:22:07] Or do you like to just see videos of me being a normal, regular jackass?

[00:22:10] Like those are usually my videos.

[00:22:12] Me just doing something stupid or seeing something stupid.

[00:22:14] Or a mix.

[00:22:15] Sometimes just some drinks.

[00:22:16] Yeah.

[00:22:17] Yeah.

[00:22:17] Anyway, Stevie does not participate herself in the Internet.

[00:22:22] But that also is when you're so rich.

[00:22:26] How can you not?

[00:22:27] What she has is a live Internet.

[00:22:30] It's called her assistant.

[00:22:31] Right.

[00:22:32] Whoever this person is, is the one with all the information.

[00:22:35] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:36] Which is fine.

[00:22:37] If she doesn't want to, it's probably healthy.

[00:22:40] Probably.

[00:22:40] I mean, the times, like I go to Ireland, my phone doesn't work.

[00:22:43] But I don't care.

[00:22:44] Right.

[00:22:44] I just have to.

[00:22:45] Right.

[00:22:46] Because you can't have a full staff of people.

[00:22:48] I wouldn't want it anyway.

[00:22:49] But anyway, she said, this is about her song.

[00:22:54] She goes, I'm not looking for this to be a hit record.

[00:22:57] I don't care.

[00:22:58] I mean, all the people that are my age, we gave up on hit records long ago.

[00:23:02] Long time ago.

[00:23:02] With everything streaming, it's like 300,000 plays.

[00:23:05] And I'm like, what is that?

[00:23:08] She doesn't know streaming.

[00:23:10] I don't know how to maneuver myself around that.

[00:23:14] I'm not interested in it in any way because I'm the only person that isn't always on a phone.

[00:23:20] And then the girl said, is there internet on your phone?

[00:23:23] No.

[00:23:24] It's just a camera.

[00:23:25] Oh.

[00:23:26] She has a flip phone.

[00:23:27] That's nice.

[00:23:27] No, she has an iPhone.

[00:23:28] Stop it.

[00:23:29] But they didn't connect it.

[00:23:30] She disabled Safari.

[00:23:32] She just, or they just didn't.

[00:23:34] Oh, right.

[00:23:34] It comes on an iPhone.

[00:23:35] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:36] Well, you have to sign up.

[00:23:38] It comes on a Galaxy.

[00:23:39] It comes on my Galaxy.

[00:23:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:41] Did it?

[00:23:42] Yeah.

[00:23:42] Did I sign up?

[00:23:43] Well, I don't know.

[00:23:45] Probably.

[00:23:46] You got to enter your passwords and stuff.

[00:23:50] Not for the internet, you know.

[00:23:51] Not for the internet, you know?

[00:23:53] Oh, good to know.

[00:23:54] Maybe I'll go get a new phone.

[00:23:55] I'm afraid to trade that phone in because it has pictures and videos of my dad.

[00:23:58] I'm afraid it won't transfer right.

[00:24:00] We'll figure that out.

[00:24:01] I'm going to keep this phone forever.

[00:24:03] But it's already getting old and beat to shit.

[00:24:08] So they were talking about Chapel Rowan.

[00:24:10] And the kids with the social media and being abused online.

[00:24:16] And the girl said, I'm sure you're glad Fleetwood Mac didn't have to endure social media.

[00:24:19] She goes, it would have been terrible.

[00:24:21] We never had terrible paparazzi.

[00:24:23] Our fans always honored us and treated us with care.

[00:24:25] Nobody chased us down.

[00:24:27] It was all fun.

[00:24:28] It was never terrorizing.

[00:24:29] It was never stalking.

[00:24:30] It was never weird.

[00:24:31] I couldn't live like that.

[00:24:33] And then she's very proud of Chapel Rowan.

[00:24:36] She said, they'll burn her out if that's what they want to do because there's always somebody to replace you.

[00:24:40] It must make them all fearful.

[00:24:42] That's why it's good that Chapel just said, well, go ahead.

[00:24:46] Replace me.

[00:24:47] I'm canceling because I'm not going to drop dead for all you people.

[00:24:52] I'm tired.

[00:24:57] You know, there's ways around tired, guys.

[00:25:00] You know, get up.

[00:25:02] Make a body merry.

[00:25:03] Have a whole new perspective on the day.

[00:25:04] You don't just go, that's it.

[00:25:05] I'm going back to bed and I won't be bothered.

[00:25:09] Please send baby cat in at your own leisure.

[00:25:14] She loves Taylor Swift.

[00:25:15] I'm just, there's a couple other quotes that we'll move on.

[00:25:18] It's a really good interview, though.

[00:25:19] She loves the Kelsey's, too.

[00:25:21] Yeah, she bought Travis Kelsey a cashmere blanket because a long time ago, Don Henley introduced her to cashmere blankets.

[00:25:26] It's the first time she learned how to spend real money.

[00:25:29] And now she buys everybody one.

[00:25:33] This is an epic, epic statement.

[00:25:40] So, they had a celebration of life for Christine McVie at Nobu, which is this sushi restaurant in Malibu.

[00:25:47] I've never even been in it.

[00:25:48] It's very fancy, hard to get a table.

[00:25:50] This is about her and Lindsay.

[00:25:52] So, the girl says, woman, I shouldn't think of her.

[00:25:55] Did you see Lindsay at the celebration of life?

[00:25:58] She said, well, Christine threw down a hurricane on top of Nobu, which is where we had it.

[00:26:03] It almost blew the whole place away.

[00:26:04] Honest to God, it tore the entire deck down.

[00:26:06] It was all decorated.

[00:26:07] It was kind of crazy.

[00:26:08] We all felt like she was there.

[00:26:10] The only time I've spoken to Lindsay was there for about three minutes.

[00:26:13] I dealt with Lindsay for as long as I could.

[00:26:15] You could not say I did not give him more than 300 million chances.

[00:26:19] And then you say, do you regret it, how it happened?

[00:26:22] She goes, no.

[00:26:23] It should have happened that way.

[00:26:24] It happened one night, not planned, at a Music Cares benefit.

[00:26:28] I didn't even tell anybody.

[00:26:29] I just thought, that's it.

[00:26:31] I'm done.

[00:26:32] He wasn't nice to anybody.

[00:26:33] He wasn't nice to me or Harry Styles.

[00:26:35] And I could hear my mom say, I'm sure he didn't even fucking know.

[00:26:40] Who's Harry Styles?

[00:26:41] He looks 12.

[00:26:43] I think he's 25.

[00:26:45] Yeah.

[00:26:45] Are you our assistant?

[00:26:48] Give me some water.

[00:26:50] So she's talking about the problems between her and Lindsay.

[00:26:54] And the reporter lady says, for what it's worth, I think you're a much larger icon than Lindsay.

[00:27:00] And Stevie goes, this is just a mic drop.

[00:27:03] Well, that was one of the problems, wasn't it?

[00:27:10] Suck it, suck it, suck it.

[00:27:12] Yeah, that's the problem.

[00:27:13] Um, Lindsay thinks he's a genius.

[00:27:16] And he probably is.

[00:27:18] I mean, I can play the guitar, but I've never seen anybody play the guitar like Lindsay Buckingham.

[00:27:22] Truly.

[00:27:23] I know there's other people, Allman brother people.

[00:27:25] Ron White will have this fight with me until the day is done.

[00:27:27] But I would put Lindsay in the top five.

[00:27:29] You also shouldn't have to tell people that you're an icon.

[00:27:33] Well, right.

[00:27:34] Stevie doesn't.

[00:27:35] But then Lindsay, you know, Lindsay actually works theater as I work.

[00:27:38] Like $1,500, $1,700, maybe $2,500.

[00:27:42] Stevie's selling out the Bridgestone.

[00:27:43] Clearly the general public has voted for Stevie.

[00:27:46] Right.

[00:27:46] And he doesn't like it.

[00:27:47] And he's a whiny, whiny little creature.

[00:27:50] And I think, you know, he does.

[00:27:52] He, I don't think he thinks Stevie's that talented.

[00:27:54] That she's more like a Kvechi thing.

[00:27:57] That like, she's got a hook.

[00:27:58] Well, she does.

[00:27:59] She'll die out eventually.

[00:28:00] She's a pretty witch.

[00:28:01] And we all like her songs.

[00:28:03] Pretty witch.

[00:28:03] She's a pretty witch.

[00:28:04] She's a good witch.

[00:28:05] Right, Stevie?

[00:28:06] That's right.

[00:28:07] Yeah.

[00:28:07] Yeah.

[00:28:08] He could not accept second place.

[00:28:10] Christine was fine with it.

[00:28:11] John McVie was fine with it.

[00:28:12] McFleet was fine with it.

[00:28:14] Lindsay, nay nay.

[00:28:15] Nice.

[00:28:18] Here's the one thing.

[00:28:19] Is there anything proud of your career that people may not expect?

[00:28:23] Well, it's a silly thing to say.

[00:28:26] But I do my own nails.

[00:28:30] Why would I use anyone else when I'm the best manicurist in the world?

[00:28:34] Okay.

[00:28:35] Okay.

[00:28:36] Point taken.

[00:28:37] Thank you.

[00:28:39] The prettiest witch.

[00:28:40] I like it.

[00:28:40] Yeah.

[00:28:42] So that's queen news.

[00:28:44] Stevie, I think, is going to go quiet now because she's off tour.

[00:28:48] She's tired.

[00:28:49] She's tired.

[00:28:50] Go home.

[00:28:51] She's going to call some people back.

[00:28:52] She hasn't called in two years.

[00:28:53] I mean, you know what?

[00:28:55] Look, there are times when I tell people, hey, man, traveling a lot this weekend.

[00:29:00] Can I call you Monday?

[00:29:01] Right.

[00:29:01] I never say, well, I'm booked every weekend for the next two years, which I have been.

[00:29:05] Can I call you in two years?

[00:29:06] Two years?

[00:29:07] Jesus.

[00:29:08] No, Kathleen, don't bother.

[00:29:09] That's what they should say.

[00:29:10] That's what I would tell myself.

[00:29:12] We're good.

[00:29:14] I'll call you in the spring.

[00:29:15] You know what?

[00:29:17] Send a pigeon with a note.

[00:29:18] It'll get here faster.

[00:29:20] It's funny, though.

[00:29:21] I think when she's on the road, that's just it.

[00:29:23] Oh, then they said to her, how was Saturday night like?

[00:29:26] She goes, well, the rehearsal's on Thursday.

[00:29:27] This is before it happened.

[00:29:30] And I mean, they say we're supposed to be there at 1130 in the morning.

[00:29:33] I don't even go to bed till eight or nine in the morning.

[00:29:35] So I don't know.

[00:29:36] I'm going to have to train myself to go to bed at midnight.

[00:29:39] Oh, wow.

[00:29:40] Okay.

[00:29:41] Or, or, or send one of those children assistant down to Walgreens and get a thing called Tylenol

[00:29:47] Sleepy Time.

[00:29:49] I would recommend for a woman your height and weight, which is probably the same foot, five

[00:29:53] foot tall, bite it in half, guaranteed four hours.

[00:29:57] Boom.

[00:29:58] And you're fine.

[00:29:59] And it's not prescription.

[00:30:00] No.

[00:30:00] It's just sitting there.

[00:30:01] Or, like a lot of the old people that I know, get into some gummies.

[00:30:06] Right.

[00:30:06] I can't, I don't know how to regulate myself.

[00:30:09] I'm terrified.

[00:30:09] And then I think, what if I fuck up tonight's sleep?

[00:30:11] I know Tylenol PM, the sleepy time one.

[00:30:13] PMs are hardcore.

[00:30:15] I can't do that.

[00:30:15] No.

[00:30:16] Scrub your liver.

[00:30:17] This is an update.

[00:30:18] Hey, hang on.

[00:30:20] Tay Tay?

[00:30:20] Jelly Roll?

[00:30:21] Well, Jelly Roll is an update.

[00:30:23] Okay.

[00:30:24] Because I only have one update.

[00:30:25] I feel like I'm sliding.

[00:30:27] Well, even, sorry, before I get that.

[00:30:29] Tay Tay.

[00:30:30] New Orleans.

[00:30:30] Hello.

[00:30:31] Tay Tay in New Orleans.

[00:30:33] And the woman who helps me with my cats, Aubrey.

[00:30:36] And she's young.

[00:30:37] And her and her friends went down there.

[00:30:39] I just can't even imagine how much fun.

[00:30:41] And then today they come home and I'm like, oh God, it's probably such a sad day at the

[00:30:45] New Orleans airport.

[00:30:46] And they're probably so tired.

[00:30:47] And they've spent all their money.

[00:30:49] There's just no money left.

[00:30:50] No, I know.

[00:30:51] Because sometimes I feel like, because Aubrey's young, she's going to go with these people

[00:30:57] friends and she may not know how much.

[00:30:59] So baby cat Venmo's her some drink money on the side.

[00:31:03] Nice.

[00:31:03] Yeah.

[00:31:04] Baby cat says, go to this bar.

[00:31:05] And then they go.

[00:31:10] It's so fun.

[00:31:11] Because old people, you tell them what to do something in a city.

[00:31:14] Everybody asks me, oh, I'm going here.

[00:31:15] What should I do?

[00:31:16] And I tell them, oh, well, and I take time.

[00:31:17] Here's what I would do.

[00:31:18] I've been there a hundred times.

[00:31:20] Here's the fun stuff.

[00:31:21] Then they don't do anything.

[00:31:22] Right.

[00:31:22] Young people.

[00:31:23] Here's the roadmap.

[00:31:24] Here's $300.

[00:31:25] Go drinking.

[00:31:26] Here's where I think you definitely should go.

[00:31:28] And then they send a picture.

[00:31:29] We made it.

[00:31:33] Anyway, she went to the New Orleans one.

[00:31:36] So that was very exciting.

[00:31:39] I didn't see any celebrity pictures.

[00:31:41] That would have been my choice to go to New Orleans.

[00:31:43] Yeah.

[00:31:44] Because, well, it's my favorite city, period, end of story.

[00:31:47] And then you get the witches on top of it.

[00:31:50] And then Bourbon Street actually remains safe after midnight because it's just the Tate people.

[00:31:55] And it's Halloween weekend.

[00:31:56] And it's Halloween weekend.

[00:31:58] I saw it in Wilmington.

[00:32:00] I'm like, why is that lady dressed like an angel?

[00:32:01] I'm like, oh, right.

[00:32:03] Halloween's, but it's not till Thursday.

[00:32:06] No Dolly news.

[00:32:07] Who's that?

[00:32:08] Stevie.

[00:32:09] That's Stevie.

[00:32:10] Okay.

[00:32:11] Tommy, he's got to calm down.

[00:32:13] I listened to him again.

[00:32:14] And can we set through it on football?

[00:32:16] And I have bullshit in my way.

[00:32:18] I'll get to the real stuff.

[00:32:20] The Cowboys lost.

[00:32:21] And the Jets lost.

[00:32:24] Nothing makes me happier than Monday morning waiting for Stephen A. Smith in a cowboy hat to go,

[00:32:31] Howdy!

[00:32:32] And a picture of Jerry Jones just bewildered in his box.

[00:32:36] How the fuck did this happen?

[00:32:38] You, Jerry, you.

[00:32:40] Aaron Rodgers, what?

[00:32:42] Nobody in the whole family and friends pick them.

[00:32:45] Liverpool took New England.

[00:32:46] No, not one person.

[00:32:48] Including me.

[00:32:48] I did not.

[00:32:49] I was like, ugh.

[00:32:51] I don't like Aaron Rodgers, but I think the Jets are going to win.

[00:32:53] How can they?

[00:32:54] The Patriots are 1-6.

[00:32:56] Watching.

[00:32:58] And then I thought, oh, Christ.

[00:33:00] Do they have to fly home with Jerry?

[00:33:02] He probably has his own jet.

[00:33:03] He probably doesn't fly on the team plane.

[00:33:05] Oh, he's kind of so.

[00:33:05] Oh, he is.

[00:33:06] Yeah, but he's also so overly involved.

[00:33:08] He might be on the team plane and then sit next to everybody and tell them what they fucking did wrong.

[00:33:13] I feel terrible for Devontae Adams for buying into that shit.

[00:33:18] Aaron Rodgers fucked you over once.

[00:33:20] Do not fall for it again.

[00:33:21] And he did.

[00:33:22] He went straight up horrible.

[00:33:24] Horrible.

[00:33:25] And then he's mean to reporters.

[00:33:26] Aaron is.

[00:33:27] Horrible.

[00:33:27] I saw it this morning.

[00:33:28] I'm like, you know what?

[00:33:30] And my fantasy team, well, we got, I was cheated on by the San Francisco 49ers and I don't like it.

[00:33:36] And it was a big thing all over.

[00:33:38] And then I'll shut up because this is too inside football for people who don't know football.

[00:33:41] But I'm super proud.

[00:33:43] Shout out to my cousin Connie, Mike's wife, who beat me and a year ago had no idea how to play.

[00:33:48] I've created another addict in my TED Talk of how to become an addict.

[00:33:53] I've gotten Connie addicted to fantasy football because Mike's like,

[00:33:58] Con's really into this now.

[00:33:59] I kind of like it.

[00:34:00] She'll watch all the games.

[00:34:01] I'm like, right.

[00:34:02] That's why fantasy football fun.

[00:34:03] You can watch all the games.

[00:34:05] So the 49ers, and they're known for this.

[00:34:09] I have a running back.

[00:34:10] His last name is Mason.

[00:34:11] He's great.

[00:34:13] Well, he was a little questionable, but they said he's playing.

[00:34:17] Well, he played two plays.

[00:34:18] That's the minimum amount you can play to be active.

[00:34:22] And then they said he's hurt.

[00:34:24] I mean, the social media stuff, people in Vegas going, they think he was hurt beforehand.

[00:34:31] But Shanahan just doesn't.

[00:34:34] Give a shit?

[00:34:35] No, he doesn't care?

[00:34:36] No.

[00:34:36] Like, I could have replaced him.

[00:34:39] And I maybe could have beaten Connie.

[00:34:40] I was still pretty far behind.

[00:34:42] If it was close, I'd have been super duper pissed.

[00:34:43] But people in Vegas are betting, you know, parlays that have thousands of dollars involved,

[00:34:49] and you were lying like he was hurt, and you knew he wasn't going to fucking play.

[00:34:52] That is terrible.

[00:34:53] I'm cussing too much.

[00:34:54] I'm sorry.

[00:34:54] I get too angry about cheating and fantasy football.

[00:34:57] When it comes to gambling.

[00:34:58] When it comes to gambling.

[00:35:00] And before I get to—

[00:35:02] You should just quickly explain a parlay.

[00:35:04] A parlay bet?

[00:35:05] These are my TED Talks.

[00:35:07] I'm going to teach everybody how to become a little bit addicted to things that I don't

[00:35:10] think are that dangerous.

[00:35:11] Perfect.

[00:35:11] Right.

[00:35:13] Tiny cigars.

[00:35:14] Like, people—things like that.

[00:35:15] Tiny cigars.

[00:35:15] Tiny cigars.

[00:35:16] Tiny gambling.

[00:35:17] Tiny everything.

[00:35:18] Just in moderation.

[00:35:19] Tiny Bloody Mary's.

[00:35:21] Tiny Bloody Mary's.

[00:35:22] This is a shoddy, shoddy, shoddy.

[00:35:24] So good.

[00:35:24] It's got Charleston mix in it.

[00:35:26] Oh, my gosh.

[00:35:26] So spicy.

[00:35:27] And then I could literally—I actually sat at a bar and licked the salt off the side.

[00:35:31] Nice.

[00:35:31] Uh-huh.

[00:35:32] It was so good.

[00:35:32] It was at that Anne Bonny's place in Wilmington.

[00:35:35] Nice.

[00:35:36] They put the—that red salt on the outside, whatever.

[00:35:40] That tahine.

[00:35:41] I don't know what it is.

[00:35:42] No, it was Old Bay.

[00:35:44] It was Old Bay.

[00:35:45] That's right.

[00:35:45] And then he dumped a bottle of it in.

[00:35:47] I'm sure it's like all sodium.

[00:35:49] But anyway, before I go—oh, the parlay.

[00:35:54] Uh-huh.

[00:35:54] So a parlay is when you have more than one bet within a bet.

[00:36:00] Okay.

[00:36:00] So if you say, okay—and you're usually going to make more money on parlays because it's

[00:36:05] more complicated.

[00:36:06] So you could say, like, everybody knew the Lions were going to beat the Titans.

[00:36:10] Uh-huh.

[00:36:10] Tighten up, bitches.

[00:36:11] I can't wait to get the call from the guy today trying to sell me season tickets.

[00:36:15] Matt.

[00:36:17] Hey.

[00:36:17] Hey, Miss Kathleen.

[00:36:18] Hey, Matt.

[00:36:19] Did the Titans go get a quarterback that's capable?

[00:36:22] Well, we have the—

[00:36:23] Matt, stop.

[00:36:24] We're going to do this.

[00:36:25] I feel sorry.

[00:36:26] Sorry.

[00:36:26] It's the worst job in the world to have to try to sell season tickets to a game—team

[00:36:30] that can't win a game.

[00:36:33] Yeah.

[00:36:34] Anyway, so let's say you knew the Lions are going to beat this.

[00:36:38] So if you bet straight up on that, everybody knows that.

[00:36:41] So you're not going to win that much money.

[00:36:42] You'll bet $100 to only win $40.

[00:36:44] That risk doesn't seem worth it.

[00:36:46] Because of the odds.

[00:36:47] Because of the odds.

[00:36:48] So if you include another bet, and like on DraftKings or FanDuel, you can almost choose

[00:36:53] anything you want.

[00:36:54] You will say, I think Detroit's going to win.

[00:36:57] And I think for the Ravens, Derrick Henry will score a touchdown.

[00:37:01] And then for San Francisco, Brock Purdy will throw a touchdown.

[00:37:05] And then the Dodgers will win.

[00:37:08] And the Dodgers.

[00:37:08] You can mix anything up.

[00:37:10] So that's called when you mix up a bunch of bets, that's a parlay.

[00:37:14] So you can have a two-way parlay, three-way parlay, sometimes 12-way parlays.

[00:37:18] I've heard stories about people winning 13-way parlays.

[00:37:22] So your $50 bet would end up paying like $250 versus if you just bet on a guaranteed thing

[00:37:28] like the Lions are going to smoke the Titans.

[00:37:30] And they did.

[00:37:31] Right.

[00:37:32] By like $100,000 to, I don't know, literally like a college score.

[00:37:36] It was 52 to some shit.

[00:37:38] And then they raise the score at the end because the Lions don't care.

[00:37:41] The Lions are basically in the locker room at this point going, okay, bye-bye.

[00:37:45] You guys were fun.

[00:37:46] I got two friends on that team.

[00:37:47] I just want to say hi.

[00:37:48] Okay, we're leaving now.

[00:37:51] Anyway, there's your little parlay bets.

[00:37:54] And if you're in a state that allows gambling on your phone, sometimes you'll get,

[00:37:59] on DraftKings, they present you with parlay ideas.

[00:38:01] I'm like, oh, I never thought about this.

[00:38:04] Yes, I'll do that for $25.

[00:38:07] Yes.

[00:38:08] There's a comedian friend of mine.

[00:38:10] All he does is $5 parlays.

[00:38:11] And they're crazy.

[00:38:12] They include like golf.

[00:38:13] And then he'll send me his thing.

[00:38:15] And it's so complicated.

[00:38:16] I'm like, Chris, I wish you well.

[00:38:19] Please let me know.

[00:38:20] If this is a winning ticket, please send it.

[00:38:22] And then I'll look at it more closely.

[00:38:23] But I can't.

[00:38:24] It's too much to follow.

[00:38:25] All right.

[00:38:26] So before I go on to updates and news, I did watch, and I think this is worth it, HBO.

[00:38:33] It's called I'm Not a Monster.

[00:38:36] Okay.

[00:38:36] And it's a true crime deal about this lady in Minnesota.

[00:38:41] And I'm not giving away any secrets here.

[00:38:43] She murdered her husband.

[00:38:44] Mm-hmm.

[00:38:45] And then she murders another person.

[00:38:47] Okay.

[00:38:48] In a different state.

[00:38:50] And here's the thing.

[00:38:52] She's blaming it on mental illness.

[00:38:54] Okay.

[00:38:55] Fine enough.

[00:38:56] Yeah.

[00:38:56] But her behavior afterwards says to me, not mentally ill.

[00:39:02] Worth a watch, though.

[00:39:03] Mm-hmm.

[00:39:03] Because she's in it.

[00:39:04] It's really her.

[00:39:05] In it to win it.

[00:39:06] Lois Reese?

[00:39:07] Rice.

[00:39:07] Lois Reese or Rice.

[00:39:09] I don't remember how they pronounce it.

[00:39:12] But I also watched The Woman of the Hour.

[00:39:15] That was about the serial killer that was on the dating game.

[00:39:19] I already knew the story, so I didn't think the show was that good.

[00:39:23] But I was super happy my friend Pete Holmes played the boyfriend.

[00:39:26] Cool.

[00:39:26] He was not the serial killer.

[00:39:28] Mm-hmm.

[00:39:29] I was very happy to see him pop up on the screen.

[00:39:31] I'm like, yay, Pete Holmes.

[00:39:32] You should get more stuff than he gets.

[00:39:35] I don't know.

[00:39:37] I just thought it was kind of flat.

[00:39:39] Yeah.

[00:39:39] Not Pete.

[00:39:40] He was great.

[00:39:41] And the girl who plays the girl who gets away from him.

[00:39:43] Hannah something.

[00:39:44] Yeah.

[00:39:45] She's a great little actor.

[00:39:47] Uh-huh.

[00:39:47] And the serial killer guy was good.

[00:39:49] It's just the story.

[00:39:50] Maybe because I already knew it.

[00:39:51] Yeah.

[00:39:51] If you're a younger termite.

[00:39:53] Watch it.

[00:39:54] Eremite.

[00:39:55] Or one of the children.

[00:39:56] A chermite.

[00:39:57] If you're one of the children termites.

[00:39:58] That's a termite.

[00:39:59] The chermites.

[00:40:01] The chermites.

[00:40:01] The chermites.

[00:40:02] You should go watch.

[00:40:03] Because it's crazy what happened in the 70s.

[00:40:05] And it's also crazy that no one took women at all.

[00:40:09] I mean they barely take us seriously now when it comes to stalking and bullshit.

[00:40:13] Right.

[00:40:13] Well ma'am he has permission to stand on the street across your house and stare at you all day.

[00:40:18] Because it's public property.

[00:40:19] Like oh no no he tried to kill me twice.

[00:40:21] That one.

[00:40:21] That guy right there.

[00:40:22] Well when he does kill you let us know and we'll really crack down on him.

[00:40:26] I mean but the 70s.

[00:40:29] I mean multiple women went to the cops and were like hey.

[00:40:33] And they're like you know what sweetheart have a seat.

[00:40:36] It was just all so condescending and they didn't take us seriously.

[00:40:39] And then you know he ended up killing they estimate like 140 130 women total.

[00:40:45] He got nailed for seven.

[00:40:46] But yeah.

[00:40:48] And he just died.

[00:40:48] I saw I looked it up.

[00:40:50] He died in prison like 2021 I think.

[00:40:53] So far.

[00:40:54] Yeah.

[00:40:54] And he lived a long time.

[00:40:55] So.

[00:40:56] Put it in the schnoads.

[00:40:58] HBO.

[00:40:58] I'm not a monster.

[00:41:00] And then I'm going to talk about a podcast next week.

[00:41:02] I'm not going to do it this week because I've already goofed off too much.

[00:41:05] Not really getting to the.

[00:41:07] So Jelly Roll is back on Twitter.

[00:41:11] He was off for a day.

[00:41:13] I wonder how he feels.

[00:41:14] I don't know.

[00:41:15] I think his little team of people said Jelly Belly look we understand it's toxic.

[00:41:21] Yeah.

[00:41:21] But he this is why this is a reason he got so much shit because he was backstage at that

[00:41:27] Rock and Roll Hall of Fame deal.

[00:41:29] He caught a little bit of shit for his performing of Mama I'm Coming Home.

[00:41:32] But I didn't realize this.

[00:41:34] People were giving him shit because he's in a picture with a ton of people.

[00:41:39] I mean Wolfgang Van Halen all these other people there.

[00:41:41] And I get it when you're backstage just at the Ryman deal I did.

[00:41:44] There was a great little photographer Jared.

[00:41:47] But they're running around taking pictures the whole time.

[00:41:49] I don't know who I'm standing by.

[00:41:51] Half the time I don't.

[00:41:52] I'm in a picture with people I don't know.

[00:41:54] Well he was in a picture with Jack Black.

[00:41:55] I didn't know Jack Black is a problem.

[00:41:58] I don't know this.

[00:41:59] Oh well.

[00:42:00] He's part of the you know the baby eater.

[00:42:02] The evil people.

[00:42:04] The conspiracy shit on TikTok.

[00:42:06] Yes.

[00:42:07] I don't know.

[00:42:07] Maybe he has.

[00:42:08] The baby eaters.

[00:42:09] Yeah you know they say Hillary Clinton and all these people eat babies.

[00:42:15] They support child trafficking.

[00:42:17] What?

[00:42:18] Yeah.

[00:42:18] Jack Black.

[00:42:19] Well that's what these people say.

[00:42:21] Right?

[00:42:21] He's a part of the Red Shoe Club.

[00:42:23] That's according to some satanic panic level conspiracy theorists.

[00:42:27] Global elites wear red shoes to signify they're part of the club that hunts children for sport.

[00:42:32] I mean I cannot even go on.

[00:42:33] Come on.

[00:42:34] I can't do it.

[00:42:35] But that's what ran him off.

[00:42:37] Part of it.

[00:42:37] And I get it.

[00:42:38] It's crazy.

[00:42:39] It is fucking crazy.

[00:42:41] And why would you spend one minute of your day doing this?

[00:42:43] The Red Shoe Club.

[00:42:44] We gotta get into that sometime.

[00:42:45] Well I didn't like it when Pope Benedict wore red Pradas.

[00:42:49] I mean the movie The Devil Wears Prada had just come out.

[00:42:52] Jesus.

[00:42:52] At least care about the perception of what you're doing.

[00:42:56] And you have red Pradas on.

[00:42:57] I know you're in Italy and oh the Prada guy is right down the alley.

[00:43:02] But I mean just because the Prada people say we'll make you some shoes.

[00:43:05] Fucking great.

[00:43:06] How about not red?

[00:43:07] Right.

[00:43:08] Because the devil wears Prada.

[00:43:10] How about.

[00:43:11] I don't know.

[00:43:11] Nobody would have noticed the Pope's shoes if they weren't red.

[00:43:14] No.

[00:43:14] Just make me a nice little brown driving shoe.

[00:43:16] That's what Pope should say.

[00:43:18] Even I drive the Pope Mobile on Fridays.

[00:43:20] Come on man.

[00:43:23] So Jelly Roll is back.

[00:43:25] Okay.

[00:43:25] Which makes me happy.

[00:43:26] You can't let these people run you off.

[00:43:28] I'm staying till it's over.

[00:43:31] Even though it's Elon's thing.

[00:43:33] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:33] I'm staying.

[00:43:34] Because I have friends on here now.

[00:43:36] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:36] What about Conchi Gonzalez?

[00:43:38] Yeah.

[00:43:38] I mean I have people that I've met through Twitter that have been wonderful people.

[00:43:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:41] Normal fans or just people.

[00:43:44] Whatever.

[00:43:45] Nice.

[00:43:46] Okay.

[00:43:46] So this is Jelly Roll had a show in Little Rock.

[00:43:49] It was an act of kindness has gone a long way at Gus's World famous fried chicken in Little Rock.

[00:43:55] The business was packed on Tuesday after singer Jelly Roll announced on his social media that he'd be covering everybody's meal that day.

[00:44:03] Where?

[00:44:04] At Gus's Fried Chicken in Little Rock.

[00:44:05] Fantastic.

[00:44:06] Yeah.

[00:44:07] The general manager said every table was filled.

[00:44:09] The line was down the hall out the door and to the stop sign down there.

[00:44:13] He said the crowd caught him by surprise.

[00:44:15] I saw the post and then literally it was like 30 minutes.

[00:44:18] It didn't take.

[00:44:19] I would have warned him.

[00:44:21] That's the thing Jelly Belly.

[00:44:22] Yeah.

[00:44:22] You got to call him and go look I'm giving free food out all day.

[00:44:25] You better have the food.

[00:44:26] I mean shit this guy wasn't ready for that.

[00:44:29] They served 400 people.

[00:44:31] The bill was $19,000.

[00:44:33] He left a tip of $7,500.

[00:44:36] Wow.

[00:44:36] Yay.

[00:44:38] It's because he used to eat there when he worked some other venue there and he loved it and it was his favorite.

[00:44:44] That's awesome.

[00:44:45] Isn't that nice?

[00:44:45] Nice.

[00:44:48] Everybody said thank you and there you go.

[00:44:50] So there's an update.

[00:44:51] Jelly Belly's back on.

[00:44:52] The Twitter.

[00:44:53] I'm not calling it X.

[00:44:55] No.

[00:44:55] No.

[00:44:56] Nobody is.

[00:44:56] Nobody's calling it X.

[00:44:57] No.

[00:44:59] I did not have any holy shit they found it this week.

[00:45:02] Okay.

[00:45:03] But I'll get on it for next week for sure.

[00:45:06] I have a couple in text.

[00:45:08] Well Heather, my research assistant, has sent me a bunch but I got to go back to my text and find them.

[00:45:12] Okay.

[00:45:13] Okay.

[00:45:14] Here's a little something to give everybody hope.

[00:45:16] Lois White, a 95-year-old in Kansas, is dominating a pickleball.

[00:45:22] What?

[00:45:23] That's right.

[00:45:24] She can hold her own against all ages.

[00:45:27] When her husband died more than 30 years ago, she started playing pickleball to stay busy.

[00:45:30] She now plays every Tuesday and Thursday and she credits her with the one activity that has kept her sharp all these years.

[00:45:36] And Lois looks phenomenal.

[00:45:38] Wow.

[00:45:39] Yeah.

[00:45:39] Like a normal Midwest grandma, but you know, normal.

[00:45:45] All right.

[00:45:46] A little more, this is more economic news than football news, but it is football.

[00:45:51] So sorry if I've been talking too much about football.

[00:45:54] The Browns, Cleveland, honk, honk, Cleveland.

[00:45:59] The Browns announced plans to move from their lakefront stadium.

[00:46:03] They've been there since 1999.

[00:46:05] They're going to a dome in the suburbs.

[00:46:08] Wow.

[00:46:08] Oh, yes.

[00:46:10] I know, but I have such mixed feelings about this.

[00:46:14] Cleveland's already kind of hurting.

[00:46:16] Downtown Cleveland is hurting.

[00:46:17] There's that one super cool area and then I always like my bar in the flats, the Harbor Inn.

[00:46:22] But there's not much down by the stadium that I could find.

[00:46:26] But when you take the game out of downtown, this is any city.

[00:46:33] That means it's six Sundays a year, usually.

[00:46:37] All of that business will be gone.

[00:46:39] Right.

[00:46:40] Right.

[00:46:40] The fans, they forget the ESPN teams fly in.

[00:46:43] It's CBS teams fly in.

[00:46:45] They stay at the Ritz.

[00:46:47] They stay at the Westin.

[00:46:48] They stay.

[00:46:48] Then they go to the steakhouses.

[00:46:50] And then it's just a ripple effect.

[00:46:54] See, I would vote, no, let's fix the downtown area down by there.

[00:47:00] Okay.

[00:47:00] Like the St. Louis Cardinals did not move out of downtown.

[00:47:03] Instead, they created this thing called Ballpark Village.

[00:47:05] Which is awesome.

[00:47:05] It's awesome.

[00:47:06] It is all baseball all the time.

[00:47:08] It's fun.

[00:47:09] There's bars.

[00:47:09] It creates like this whole atmosphere.

[00:47:11] I hate to see teams leave downtowns because I hate to see our downtowns dying.

[00:47:16] Cleveland is already, and St. Louis is the same.

[00:47:18] I'm not throwing any shade.

[00:47:20] They're struggling.

[00:47:21] Right.

[00:47:21] Big time.

[00:47:23] But that's the team announced it.

[00:47:25] They're going.

[00:47:26] And then, yeah, I don't know.

[00:47:28] I think Cleveland could do a lot with their waterfront too.

[00:47:31] That's what I would do if I was in Cleveland.

[00:47:32] It's right there on the water and everybody forgets that.

[00:47:34] That's very cool.

[00:47:35] Why don't we get a bunch of awesome.

[00:47:36] Around the Hall of Fame.

[00:47:38] Yeah.

[00:47:38] The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is down there.

[00:47:40] Right.

[00:47:43] So the lease expires in 2028.

[00:47:46] Wow.

[00:47:47] Yeah.

[00:47:48] And then they're going to move to Brook Park.

[00:47:49] I had to Google it.

[00:47:50] It's about 16 minutes from central downtown Cleveland.

[00:47:53] I'm sure my Cleveland termites know exactly what I'm talking about.

[00:47:56] I'm a little rough around the edges, so I already apologize if I've said something wrong.

[00:48:01] But they're going to build a $2.4 billion facility, an entertainment complex, 12 miles.

[00:48:07] Oh, it's south of downtown.

[00:48:09] 12 miles?

[00:48:09] I Googled it.

[00:48:10] It said 15.

[00:48:10] Maybe it's because I went from my bar.

[00:48:12] Oh.

[00:48:13] I Googled it from my bar.

[00:48:16] As you should.

[00:48:18] I don't know.

[00:48:19] There's already an infrastructure.

[00:48:20] I just think it's sad.

[00:48:21] In downtown Cleveland.

[00:48:22] Right.

[00:48:23] And downtown Cleveland still has a chance.

[00:48:25] It has.

[00:48:25] Downtown St.

[00:48:26] Louis still has a chance.

[00:48:27] But we can't have big things leaving like this.

[00:48:29] That's why I was glad the Bears said we're staying downtown.

[00:48:31] Right.

[00:48:32] Because they could very easily move out.

[00:48:34] To Schaumburg.

[00:48:34] To Schaumburg or somewhere where there's a funny bone comedy club in your neighborhood.

[00:48:38] Right.

[00:48:39] They could easily move out and be fine.

[00:48:43] But Cleveland.

[00:48:45] And then I think this is how the rich get richer.

[00:48:47] Because all those NFL owners knew that.

[00:48:48] So you go find out where Brook Park is and start buying all the shit around where it's going to be.

[00:48:52] Right.

[00:48:53] Right.

[00:48:54] Right.

[00:48:54] Right.

[00:49:10] San Francisco.

[00:49:11] And they show the Golden Gate Bridge.

[00:49:12] You're so fucking far away from this Golden Gate Bridge or Fisherman's World.

[00:49:15] You're right now in the airport.

[00:49:16] Right.

[00:49:16] They show New York.

[00:49:17] And they're like, oh, here's Times Square.

[00:49:20] Oh, my God.

[00:49:21] It's going to take you two hours to get back to Times Square.

[00:49:23] Why don't you show what's really around where we're at?

[00:49:25] Do that.

[00:49:25] It'd be more interesting.

[00:49:27] Yeah.

[00:49:28] There's a few loading docks.

[00:49:29] Isn't that cool?

[00:49:32] Here's a little something that's coming up for all you cheaters.

[00:49:36] Who boards are playing before they're supposed to?

[00:49:38] Huh?

[00:49:39] Ha, ha, ha.

[00:49:40] Charmite?

[00:49:40] I don't know.

[00:49:41] American Airlines has a new boarding technology that audibly shames line cutters.

[00:49:48] What?

[00:49:48] I love that.

[00:49:50] That's funny.

[00:49:51] The only person that people that don't have this problem is Southwest because they do group boarding.

[00:49:55] But they're going to be switching over to this.

[00:49:59] We're in news.

[00:50:00] We're in news.

[00:50:00] Okay.

[00:50:01] Great.

[00:50:02] They have a new thing.

[00:50:03] Get a load of this.

[00:50:04] I can't wait for this to start.

[00:50:06] Occasionally I fly American.

[00:50:07] Not often.

[00:50:08] But I do.

[00:50:10] I'm fancy on them too.

[00:50:12] I forget what it's called.

[00:50:13] What is it called?

[00:50:14] Platinum.

[00:50:15] Platinum.

[00:50:17] Platinum.

[00:50:21] I'm a platinum.

[00:50:21] The technology which is being tested at the Albuquerque International Sunport Airport in New Mexico, Tucson International, and Ronald Reagan.

[00:50:33] So it's being tested at three.

[00:50:36] So if you go to board, they'll say group one.

[00:50:39] And I always see people that I know are full of shit.

[00:50:42] I don't even care anymore.

[00:50:43] I'm too tired to fight about it and shit.

[00:50:45] I'm like, whatever.

[00:50:47] But it's kind of shitty.

[00:50:49] It's shitty.

[00:50:50] Yeah.

[00:50:50] They're nervous.

[00:50:51] They're usually the nervous people.

[00:50:52] And they're nervous their bag ain't going to get a spot.

[00:50:54] And it may not.

[00:50:55] Their nervousness is not unwarranted.

[00:50:57] But, you know, you didn't whatever.

[00:51:00] That's why you need to check our bag.

[00:51:03] Here's what happens.

[00:51:04] What?

[00:51:04] Say they call group one and you're really group four.

[00:51:06] And you scan your phone.

[00:51:08] Yeah.

[00:51:09] An audible sound blares if a passenger tries to scan a ticket ahead of their assigned group.

[00:51:16] Now, what the fun part is to decide what the sound should be.

[00:51:22] Or, or, I mean, there's so many choices that are so fun.

[00:51:28] Oh, my God.

[00:51:29] That's fun.

[00:51:30] And then what happens is an American Airlines said that a gate agent politely lets the customer know they're unable to accept the pass

[00:51:38] and asks the customer to rejoin the line when their boarding group is called.

[00:51:42] In some instances where a customer may be able to board out of order, like when traveling with a companion or of a higher status,

[00:51:49] the agent has a quick way to override the alert and accept the pass.

[00:51:53] It's in a trial phase.

[00:51:55] They say they've been pleased with the results so far.

[00:51:58] Here's the thing, American.

[00:52:00] All you got to do is threaten people you have that.

[00:52:02] Right.

[00:52:03] Just say on the thing, if you board and it's not your group.

[00:52:06] An alarm will sound.

[00:52:07] There's going to be an alarm and you're going to be arrested.

[00:52:10] People wouldn't do it.

[00:52:11] You don't have to actually do your threats.

[00:52:14] It's fun to watch.

[00:52:15] It's like terrorism.

[00:52:17] Just say you're going to do it and just don't because you're just going to fuck people up.

[00:52:22] Anyway, this is a little sad.

[00:52:29] But I have feel good news at the end, so don't lose hope, termites.

[00:52:31] But everybody should know this.

[00:52:33] So the biggest grizzly bear in Banff is the boss.

[00:52:36] We've talked about the boss many times on this podcast.

[00:52:38] As far as we know, the boss is doing fine this year.

[00:52:41] We wait every year to see if the boss, well, yeah.

[00:52:47] A grizzly bear that delighted the Grand Teton National Park visitors for decades has been killed by a vehicle.

[00:52:55] Oh.

[00:52:56] I know.

[00:52:57] And every year they'd wait to see how many cubs she had.

[00:52:59] The boss is a boy, but this is a girl.

[00:53:02] Famous grizzly bear, beloved for decades by countless tourists, biologists, and professional wildlife photographers, is dead after being struck by a vehicle in western Wyoming.

[00:53:12] Grizzly bear number 399 died Tuesday in Ba-ba-ba-ba Park.

[00:53:16] She was 28.

[00:53:16] Today, she's the oldest known reproducing female grizzly in the Yellowstone ecosystem.

[00:53:21] Each spring, we waited to see her when she'd emerged from her den to see how many cubs she had birthed over the winter.

[00:53:26] Oh.

[00:53:27] Yeah.

[00:53:28] And one of the cubs is missing.

[00:53:32] They didn't find a dead cub, though, so they have hope.

[00:53:36] There's probably some influencer that found it and is doing a photo shoot with it right now.

[00:53:40] Don't give up hope.

[00:53:41] One of the children are probably like, oh, my God, it's so cute.

[00:53:44] Oh, my God.

[00:53:45] Here you go.

[00:53:45] I'm going to go so viral.

[00:53:47] Oh, my God.

[00:53:48] Give me that bear.

[00:53:48] I need a cubby.

[00:53:49] I'm taking it home.

[00:53:50] I mean, it's fine.

[00:53:51] It's fine.

[00:53:51] It can eat the dog food.

[00:53:53] It's fine.

[00:53:56] There was a cub with her when she got hit.

[00:53:59] They don't believe it's hurt, but they don't know where it's at.

[00:54:02] The driver was unharmed.

[00:54:03] Wouldn't that be awful if you hit it?

[00:54:05] Yes.

[00:54:05] Yeah.

[00:54:06] That'll really screw up your car, too.

[00:54:07] Now, who's going to be?

[00:54:08] Well, yeah, it will screw up your car.

[00:54:09] Who's going to be the next biggest one?

[00:54:11] That's what we need to know.

[00:54:12] Number two.

[00:54:13] Right.

[00:54:13] There's got to be who's number 400 or 398.

[00:54:17] Right.

[00:54:19] We have...

[00:54:20] There's two good things here.

[00:54:21] Well, it's a sad thing, but it's time.

[00:54:24] This is time.

[00:54:25] America's oldest person dies at age 115.

[00:54:29] After living through 20 presidents as tributes pour in for an extraordinary woman, Elizabeth

[00:54:35] Frances was living with her 95-year-old daughter and 69-year-old granddaughter when she died

[00:54:41] on Tuesday.

[00:54:41] She looks fabulous.

[00:54:43] She got a happy birthday tear on.

[00:54:46] She was born in 1909.

[00:54:48] She lived through 20 presidents, including Howard Taft.

[00:54:52] Wow.

[00:54:53] What else was Howard Taft known for being?

[00:54:56] Taffy.

[00:54:57] Super Taffy.

[00:54:58] Fattest president ever.

[00:54:59] What?

[00:55:00] Yeah.

[00:55:00] He was.

[00:55:02] Wow.

[00:55:02] Don't ask me how I know these strange things.

[00:55:04] Very weird.

[00:55:04] Google it.

[00:55:05] Yeah.

[00:55:05] For the children.

[00:55:06] Put it in the snow.

[00:55:07] If you put in fatty president, fattest president, fatty fat stain, it's Taff.

[00:55:13] You're right.

[00:55:13] It is.

[00:55:14] I know.

[00:55:15] She was the third oldest person in the world at the time of her death.

[00:55:18] Wow.

[00:55:18] She lived in Houston.

[00:55:20] Houston.

[00:55:20] She was an icon, cherished member of the community.

[00:55:23] She lived through two world wars, two plagues, and witnessed a rapid rise of technology.

[00:55:29] Her secrets along life was faith in God and fresh food from her garden.

[00:55:34] She never smoked or drank, didn't need glasses.

[00:55:37] That is so weird to me.

[00:55:38] Like, my dad never needed.

[00:55:39] My dad had glasses when he was like in his 30s to drive.

[00:55:42] He would put on glasses if we were driving somewhere.

[00:55:45] And then, I don't know, when I was like 40, I needed reading.

[00:55:48] I have all kinds of glasses.

[00:55:50] I'm nearsighted.

[00:55:51] I'm farsighted.

[00:55:52] I'm just blind.

[00:55:53] They're usually two pairs on my face or my head.

[00:55:55] I have contacts.

[00:55:57] I have everything you could possibly have.

[00:56:00] I don't know.

[00:56:01] When I was like 40, I go, where are your reading glasses?

[00:56:03] He's like, I don't need them.

[00:56:04] I'm like, what?

[00:56:06] I thought everybody did.

[00:56:07] I just thought everybody.

[00:56:08] No.

[00:56:08] No.

[00:56:09] He never needed them his entire life.

[00:56:11] Wow.

[00:56:11] So neither did this lady.

[00:56:13] She moved to Houston when she was 11.

[00:56:15] She was raised by her aunt.

[00:56:17] She was an active member of her church.

[00:56:22] Yeah.

[00:56:23] And she doesn't have hardly any wrinkles.

[00:56:26] But that's why no drinking, no smoky.

[00:56:28] You're going to still look good.

[00:56:29] Note to the children, don't do what I can't do.

[00:56:33] Now, at the same time, there's a woman who's celebrating her 150th birthday,

[00:56:38] 105th birthday.

[00:56:39] And this is my spirit animal.

[00:56:40] Her secret to long life is pints of Guinness and never getting married.

[00:56:46] Boom!

[00:56:47] Childless cat lady drinking some Guinness right here.

[00:56:51] Nice.

[00:56:52] I'm not really.

[00:56:53] Her name's Kathleen.

[00:56:55] What?

[00:56:56] With a K.

[00:56:57] Wow.

[00:56:57] See?

[00:56:57] My spirit animal.

[00:56:58] There you go.

[00:56:59] She wanted to stay single.

[00:57:03] Sheltonham.

[00:57:03] She must be British.

[00:57:04] Mm-hmm.

[00:57:06] 105th birthday.

[00:57:07] She celebrated with a cold pint of Guinness.

[00:57:09] That's awesome.

[00:57:09] Uh-huh.

[00:57:10] Kathleen Hennings.

[00:57:11] That's kind of an Irish name.

[00:57:13] Credited a long life to the Irish lager.

[00:57:14] She marked a milestone with Loveland and her favorite drink at Care UK.

[00:57:19] Yeah, it's in the UK.

[00:57:20] She's in a care home.

[00:57:22] But she's very happy.

[00:57:24] Drink Guinness and don't marry.

[00:57:26] She grew up in a borough of Brixen where she became.

[00:57:31] She was an accountant.

[00:57:33] She liked going to the opera house and ballets.

[00:57:37] Okay.

[00:57:37] We're not 100% spirit animals.

[00:57:39] Oh, she looks fine.

[00:57:40] Jesus.

[00:57:41] For 105, I'll take it.

[00:57:42] And you know what?

[00:57:43] We could do something with her hair.

[00:57:44] Somebody could do a little effort there.

[00:57:46] She'd look even better.

[00:57:47] She looks great.

[00:57:48] That's funny.

[00:57:50] Yeah, she's got a full pint.

[00:57:52] Note to Louis Black.

[00:57:54] Tiny pints.

[00:57:54] Tiny pints.

[00:57:55] Yeah.

[00:57:56] What's he doing?

[00:57:56] We go all the way to Ireland.

[00:57:58] He goes, can I have a half pint?

[00:57:59] God damn, Louis.

[00:58:00] Boom.

[00:58:01] This is the best.

[00:58:02] Yeah.

[00:58:04] She lived out in the countryside.

[00:58:05] She has a dachshund.

[00:58:07] I love dachshunds.

[00:58:07] Great.

[00:58:08] Named Rusty.

[00:58:10] That's it.

[00:58:11] We drank Guinness at home all the time.

[00:58:12] We liked it.

[00:58:13] I still do.

[00:58:14] I was introduced to Guinness in my late teens by my parents who drank it regularly at home.

[00:58:18] My older brother, Charlie, also drank Guinness at home.

[00:58:21] So it became the drink at family mealtimes.

[00:58:23] Good job.

[00:58:24] Great.

[00:58:24] You don't even need food if you have Guinness.

[00:58:26] Jesus.

[00:58:27] Yeah.

[00:58:28] So there you go.

[00:58:29] There's some hope for you drinkers.

[00:58:31] See, this podcast has everything.

[00:58:33] This sounds disgusting to me.

[00:58:35] But I'm going to tell you pickle lovers if you want to do it.

[00:58:37] It's a limited time only.

[00:58:39] Jimmy John's unveils a new sandwich where instead of bread on each side,

[00:58:42] you have a pickle.

[00:58:44] Yep.

[00:58:45] Yep.

[00:58:46] It's giant pickles instead of bread.

[00:58:50] Ooh.

[00:58:51] It's called the Pickle Witch.

[00:58:53] It's a limited time.

[00:58:57] It has all the fresh flavors.

[00:58:58] I'm not going to read all their PR bullshit,

[00:59:00] but it's a jumbo kosher dill pickle gutted filled with salami,

[00:59:05] provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, syrup.

[00:59:07] Oh, God.

[00:59:08] That's the Vito Pickle Witch.

[00:59:10] And then they have the Turkey Pickle Witch,

[00:59:12] which is filled with turkey, provolone cheese, lettuce, onion.

[00:59:15] Yes.

[00:59:16] I don't know.

[00:59:17] If you're a freaky fast reward member,

[00:59:21] you'll get 50% off your Pickle Witch.

[00:59:24] It's available November 3rd in honor of National Sandwich Day.

[00:59:29] Yeah.

[00:59:30] That's Sunday because I think the election is the 5th, which is Tuesday.

[00:59:34] It's coming.

[00:59:40] I like going on the day of voting,

[00:59:42] so I'm going to go on the day of voting,

[00:59:44] and then I'm going to do something that has nothing to do with the television

[00:59:48] till 8 o'clock at night.

[00:59:50] Golf.

[00:59:51] Golf or fishing.

[00:59:52] I don't know.

[00:59:53] I might just take the boat out and never come back.

[00:59:57] Okay.

[00:59:58] What happened to Kathleen?

[01:00:00] I don't know.

[01:00:01] I saw her leave in her bass boat on Election Day.

[01:00:05] She never came back.

[01:00:06] Maybe she kept going to Canada.

[01:00:09] Hi.

[01:00:09] I swear to God I'm not trying to get any illegal turtles.

[01:00:12] I just got to get out of this country.

[01:00:14] Can't take it anymore.

[01:00:15] Can't take it.

[01:00:16] Somebody put on Twitter,

[01:00:17] or if you need an emotional support Canadian

[01:00:20] to deal with the politics of the United States,

[01:00:23] please hold.

[01:00:24] Our lines are increasingly busy,

[01:00:26] but you will be connected to a Canadian.

[01:00:30] I'll be yours.

[01:00:31] I already have one right here.

[01:00:33] Right here in this office.

[01:00:35] I blame myself for this.

[01:00:37] It's a sad day in America.

[01:00:39] 150 Denny's restaurants are closing.

[01:00:43] I told Bob and Clark,

[01:00:44] we're all to blame.

[01:00:46] When was the last time you had a Grand Slam breakfast?

[01:00:47] I haven't been in it forever.

[01:00:50] How about a moon over Miami?

[01:00:52] Moon over Miami.

[01:00:53] Remember that?

[01:00:54] I remember that.

[01:00:54] Yeah.

[01:00:56] Denny's is good day or night.

[01:00:58] Yeah.

[01:00:59] And it's better than Waffle House sometimes

[01:01:01] because it has more tables.

[01:01:03] I mean, food's just as good.

[01:01:05] More choices at Denny's.

[01:01:07] Waffle House, limited choices.

[01:01:09] True.

[01:01:09] Yep.

[01:01:10] You've got to be in the Waffles.

[01:01:11] They're going to close 150 over the next year,

[01:01:14] and the 71-year-old diner

[01:01:15] is mulling a major change to its 24-7 operations.

[01:01:19] That could be part of the problem, too.

[01:01:20] Yeah.

[01:01:21] After COVID, they realize,

[01:01:23] well, we don't really have to do 24 hours a day.

[01:01:26] No.

[01:01:26] 23.

[01:01:26] But it is something when you're young you liked

[01:01:28] because when the bars would close,

[01:01:30] you knew it was open.

[01:01:32] Maybe that's why I haven't been

[01:01:33] because I don't stay until the bars close.

[01:01:34] You're a day drinker now.

[01:01:35] I'm a day drinker.

[01:01:37] Yeah.

[01:01:37] Such a better schedule.

[01:01:43] Wow.

[01:01:44] They're going to close the underperforming ones

[01:01:46] in shitty neighborhoods.

[01:01:48] But usually these are signs.

[01:01:50] Yeah.

[01:01:50] You know, unless you have a really good,

[01:01:53] like, idea slash manager person to go,

[01:01:56] okay, we're going to cut these shitty ones,

[01:01:58] and here's what we're going to do

[01:01:59] to make the old ones seem new again.

[01:02:02] Yeah.

[01:02:03] How are we going to get people back in

[01:02:04] and go, yeah, Denny's.

[01:02:05] What about Denny's?

[01:02:06] Yeah.

[01:02:06] Like, I'm a perfect target for that.

[01:02:08] I just don't hear about it.

[01:02:10] And then I forget about it.

[01:02:11] And then I go, well, you know,

[01:02:14] I don't go to IHOP that much.

[01:02:16] IHOP's more like if you have kids, I think.

[01:02:18] I don't ever crave any kind of flavored pancake.

[01:02:21] And honestly, the one by this house is a little dirty.

[01:02:25] Pretty gross.

[01:02:25] It's gross.

[01:02:26] This is a great story.

[01:02:28] This one really made me laugh.

[01:02:29] There's one I have to do.

[01:02:31] Two.

[01:02:32] Oh, my God.

[01:02:33] By the way, this isn't even political.

[01:02:35] This is just the downfall of a human being.

[01:02:39] Rudy Giuliani must give control of luxury apartments

[01:02:41] and Manhattan apartment to Georgia election workers

[01:02:44] that he, what do you call it, slandered.

[01:02:47] I would love to see a bunch of Georgia election workers

[01:02:50] go to the penthouse and have like a week-long party.

[01:02:53] Like, they not even know how to use the key cards or nothing.

[01:02:56] Just all of a sudden, you own it.

[01:02:57] Here you go.

[01:02:57] You guys all own it.

[01:02:58] All seven of you.

[01:02:59] I don't know how many there are.

[01:03:05] Because mayor and 9-11 to, his daughter was somewhere going.

[01:03:11] I wish he would have never gotten involved with the Trump thing

[01:03:14] because then it led to another thing and another thing and another thing.

[01:03:17] I mean, he's going to die like with nothing.

[01:03:20] And it's all because he just can't stop fucking talking.

[01:03:23] It's everything my dad would say.

[01:03:24] Just keep your mouth shut.

[01:03:26] People can't do it.

[01:03:27] They can't do it.

[01:03:28] No, they can't.

[01:03:28] And speaking of election, and then I'm not going to get political.

[01:03:32] This is just something you guys should know.

[01:03:34] Yeah.

[01:03:34] If you're out there and you're thinking about stealing somebody's election sign,

[01:03:37] some lady in Missouri put Apple trackers in hers.

[01:03:40] What?

[01:03:41] AirPods?

[01:03:42] Yeah.

[01:03:43] She had Harris-Waltz signs.

[01:03:45] Southern Missouri is probably going to be more Trumpasaurus than Harrisaurus.

[01:03:50] And they got mad and started stealing signs.

[01:03:53] Well, she went without a cop.

[01:03:56] Oh, my God.

[01:03:56] I would never, ever.

[01:03:58] First of all, Missouri is a high firearm state.

[01:04:00] A lot of people have guns.

[01:04:02] Always remember that.

[01:04:03] When you're in road rage, I always just go, they fucking have a gun.

[01:04:06] They're armed.

[01:04:07] Yeah.

[01:04:07] Mom?

[01:04:08] Mom?

[01:04:09] Keep your mouth shut.

[01:04:11] Well, this lady, she let them, because they'd been stealing the signs, she got mad.

[01:04:15] So she went and got the tracker things and put them in the signs.

[01:04:18] Air tags.

[01:04:19] Air tags, right.

[01:04:20] You only got to do it in a few of them.

[01:04:21] You'll find all of them, right?

[01:04:23] Right.

[01:04:23] She didn't have to put it in every sign.

[01:04:25] And tracked it to some guy's trunk.

[01:04:28] In his garage at home.

[01:04:29] And went and rang the doorbell.

[01:04:31] Oh, this is where you got to have the cops go with you.

[01:04:34] You can't.

[01:04:35] And she said, I know you have my signs.

[01:04:37] They're in the trunk of your car.

[01:04:37] I need you to open the garage.

[01:04:38] And he did become very befuddled.

[01:04:41] The whole video was online.

[01:04:42] And I'm like, this is so dangerous.

[01:04:44] Like, oh, my God.

[01:04:45] And then the wife came out.

[01:04:47] She's like, we don't have to do it.

[01:04:48] And then a fight.

[01:04:49] You know a fight's going to happen.

[01:04:50] But just know, if you're thinking about stealing signs, some smart people have put air tags in them.

[01:04:59] Yeah.

[01:04:59] You're going to get busted.

[01:05:00] Either team.

[01:05:01] Or throw the signs out somewhere and act like you didn't do it.

[01:05:05] I mean, I don't want to help criminals.

[01:05:06] I'm giving them ideas now.

[01:05:07] That's probably not the smartest thing.

[01:05:08] There's a big flag on your street.

[01:05:10] I passed.

[01:05:11] A flag?

[01:05:12] A Trumpy flag.

[01:05:13] He's covered in blood.

[01:05:15] A Trumpy flag.

[01:05:16] Oh, it's the fight flag.

[01:05:17] It says take it back.

[01:05:18] I know the house.

[01:05:19] It says take it back or fight, fight, fight.

[01:05:21] It's spelled incorrectly, though.

[01:05:24] Yeah.

[01:05:25] I.

[01:05:26] Yeah.

[01:05:27] Okay.

[01:05:30] Moving on.

[01:05:31] Moving on.

[01:05:32] Whatever will be, will be.

[01:05:34] Exactly.

[01:05:34] Whatever's supposed to be, is supposed to be.

[01:05:38] Okay, I listened to a podcast a long time ago about Abercrombie and Fitch.

[01:05:42] Because their CEOs apparently were.

[01:05:46] Dirty birds.

[01:05:47] They were super dirty birds.

[01:05:48] And the whole thing was like a sex trafficking thing.

[01:05:52] But what would.

[01:05:53] Like the story.

[01:05:54] It's not funny.

[01:05:56] I mean, it's not.

[01:05:57] I'll just say it's not funny.

[01:05:59] However, every time I would.

[01:06:02] In my life, I've probably been in an Abercrombie and Fitch.

[01:06:06] Maybe a lot.

[01:06:07] Like just because it's there at like even in L.A.

[01:06:09] There was one at the Grove.

[01:06:10] But rewind to St. Louis.

[01:06:12] You know, the mall there.

[01:06:15] But I always felt like I didn't like the music.

[01:06:17] I thought it sounded like devil club music.

[01:06:19] And I'm not even a religious person per se.

[01:06:22] But it sounded kind of satanic.

[01:06:24] But I also felt like if you're going to play this kind of music and I come in here and all

[01:06:29] these pictures on these walls are all basically naked people.

[01:06:33] Somebody needs to come up with a tray and go, would you like a jello shot?

[01:06:36] Because I felt like I was in a nightclub.

[01:06:38] Like, where's your jello shots?

[01:06:40] Where's your baby Guinnesses?

[01:06:41] Let's really get this fucker going.

[01:06:43] If we're going to do it, do it.

[01:06:44] I think in my entire life, maybe I bought a t-shirt.

[01:06:48] Maybe.

[01:06:49] I doubt it.

[01:06:51] I didn't like the way this store was set up.

[01:06:53] It was too dark.

[01:06:55] I didn't like, well, anyway.

[01:06:56] It smelled like cologne.

[01:06:58] Yeah, it smelled weird.

[01:06:59] And then I thought, well, maybe it's for the kids.

[01:07:02] But even my nieces and nephews didn't really.

[01:07:05] I don't know.

[01:07:05] But I listened to this podcast episode after episode after episode.

[01:07:10] And I just finally got so bored with it.

[01:07:11] Because I'm like, I feel like a lot of you people kind of knew this was going on.

[01:07:19] Some didn't.

[01:07:21] I didn't really see the clear.

[01:07:23] The crimes were vague.

[01:07:27] Well, the CEO was finally arrested.

[01:07:30] And he, I don't even think he's the CEO anymore.

[01:07:33] Former.

[01:07:33] Now he's not even, his name is Mike Jeffries.

[01:07:35] They were arrested Tuesday as part of a criminal investigation to the alleged sex trafficking of more than a dozen victims.

[01:07:41] Wow.

[01:07:42] Yeah.

[01:07:44] Him and his partner and Jim Jacobson.

[01:07:47] Are there still, Google, are there still Abercrombie and bitches?

[01:07:50] Do they exist?

[01:07:51] I think it was.

[01:07:52] Well, the one in L.A. was there until I left, which 10 years ago or whatever.

[01:08:00] They paid dozens.

[01:08:02] Yeah, they do.

[01:08:03] They exist?

[01:08:03] Yeah, they're experiencing a comeback.

[01:08:05] They're experiencing a comeback.

[01:08:06] Yeah.

[01:08:06] How many stores do they have?

[01:08:08] You know why?

[01:08:08] Because they have a lot of crop tops.

[01:08:09] My nieces love a crop top.

[01:08:12] Oh my God.

[01:08:12] Everything's crop.

[01:08:13] Everything's crop.

[01:08:14] Everything's crop.

[01:08:17] 194 stores?

[01:08:19] 247 globally.

[01:08:20] 247 globally.

[01:08:21] Jesus Christ.

[01:08:22] There's a lot.

[01:08:23] And online.

[01:08:24] They paid dozens of men to travel around the world to engage in sex acts over a seven-year period.

[01:08:29] But see, I think if I accept the money, I don't understand.

[01:08:37] Well, you're recruited.

[01:08:38] You're hired.

[01:08:38] You're, I don't know.

[01:08:40] I mean, I guess if you're an employee and you feel pressure to do it, then I think there's a crime there probably.

[01:08:46] I don't really understand.

[01:08:48] Me and Kelly were talking about, we're like, we don't really understand the laws of sex trafficking.

[01:08:57] I do know you can't take people over a state line without their consent.

[01:09:00] I only know weird things like that.

[01:09:03] And I only know that because of some people in St. Louis that did it that were famous.

[01:09:12] I don't know.

[01:09:13] But they've been arrested.

[01:09:14] And if everything I did here in the podcast is true, I hope they do go to prison.

[01:09:19] Because no matter what, they were lying and twisting the truth and then tricking people into the gig.

[01:09:26] Like, hey, get in this van.

[01:09:27] And we're going out to the Hamptons for a shindig.

[01:09:30] And maybe if you're young, you're like, oh, okay, it's just a party.

[01:09:33] And then the van drops you off and you're at this fucked up P. Diddy type freak off.

[01:09:37] And now how do you get home?

[01:09:38] You can't get an Uber to come.

[01:09:41] No.

[01:09:42] Or you might get fired.

[01:09:43] I mean, I see where the pressure could come from, but I don't know.

[01:09:46] Oh, no.

[01:09:47] Where's my feel good story?

[01:09:50] Wait.

[01:09:51] Oh, okay.

[01:09:53] I'm going to have to use this one as my feel good story.

[01:09:56] You're going to round it up as a feel good.

[01:09:58] It is a feel good, though.

[01:09:59] Yeah.

[01:10:00] Because it's hilarious.

[01:10:02] Leave it to a Wisconsin dad.

[01:10:05] So funny.

[01:10:08] A Wisconsin dad drunkenly buys 14 tickets to the Alabama football game,

[01:10:14] but instead ended up at the Alabama, the band concert.

[01:10:22] 14.

[01:10:24] Oh, Wisconsin.

[01:10:26] I said, oh, buy before you drink.

[01:10:29] Come on.

[01:10:30] I support your drinking.

[01:10:31] But if we got shit to do that's on a computer, we do it before we start drinking.

[01:10:35] That's a rule to live by.

[01:10:37] Oh, my God.

[01:10:38] Got to read that fine print.

[01:10:40] That's right.

[01:10:40] A Wisconsin dad's hilariously drunken blunder is making waves after he mistakenly bought 14 tickets to see Alabama,

[01:10:48] not the football team, but the iconic country band.

[01:10:51] In a video shared by his daughter, the dad originally told the family they'd be attending the Alabama football game.

[01:10:58] However, instead of walking into a stadium filled with crimson clad fans,

[01:11:02] they found themselves in an entirely different event, an Alabama concert.

[01:11:05] The dad, who had, quote, been over-served during a trip to Vegas,

[01:11:09] thought he was purchasing tickets to the Wisconsin Badger Alabama game that took place in Madison on September 14th.

[01:11:15] He ended up with tickets to the Alabama concert held a month later.

[01:11:18] The daughter hilariously captioned the video,

[01:11:22] How hammered was my dad when he got his tickets to the, quote, Alabama game?

[01:11:28] Despite the mix-up, the family still enjoyed a great show as the legendary Alabama band put on a memorable performance,

[01:11:34] complete with their hit song Dixieland Delight.

[01:11:37] While the dad may have been off by both the event and the date,

[01:11:40] his mistake will surely go down as a classic dad move.

[01:11:43] Here's the thing, Dad.

[01:11:44] You clicked on all kinds of shit that was wrong.

[01:11:47] It's not a one-click deal.

[01:11:48] You clicked on the wrong event, the wrong venue, the wrong date.

[01:11:56] What you did get was your credit card info correctly.

[01:11:59] And that's hard when you're hammered, especially my Amex,

[01:12:02] because a lot of the numbers repeat themselves.

[01:12:04] Yeah, I've tried it.

[01:12:06] It's probably stored in his phone.

[01:12:07] Apple Pay.

[01:12:08] You think he has Apple Pay?

[01:12:09] Well, us people on Androids don't have that.

[01:12:13] It's your fallback.

[01:12:14] And I did read a fun article about the favorite Halloween candy by State.

[01:12:19] Oh, cool.

[01:12:20] Here's the 10 most popular since Halloween is upon us.

[01:12:24] Yes.

[01:12:24] Number one, M&M's.

[01:12:26] Fine.

[01:12:27] Yep.

[01:12:27] Love them.

[01:12:28] Number two, Reese's Cups.

[01:12:29] Sure, love them.

[01:12:30] Mm-hmm.

[01:12:30] Number three, Sour Patch Kids.

[01:12:32] Boo.

[01:12:33] I think those are more for kids.

[01:12:35] They are.

[01:12:35] Four, Skittles.

[01:12:36] Nope, they're going to tear your crowns off.

[01:12:38] For anybody that has crowns, you and I both know that.

[01:12:41] Starbursts?

[01:12:41] Fuck no.

[01:12:43] That'll pull everything out of your mouth you paid thousands of dollars for.

[01:12:45] Can't do it.

[01:12:46] Uh-huh.

[01:12:46] Six, Hot Tamales.

[01:12:47] Never liked them.

[01:12:48] Seven, Candy Corn.

[01:12:49] Love it.

[01:12:50] It's Louis' most hated thing on earth.

[01:12:52] Why?

[01:12:53] When he's dead.

[01:12:53] I have to think, but I don't understand it.

[01:12:55] When Louis dies, if he doesn't outlive me, which he might, and if we get him a burial

[01:13:02] place, I want people to take Candy Corn there like they take golf balls to Bobby Jones' gravesite.

[01:13:07] Let's put it there.

[01:13:08] Eight, Hershey Kisses.

[01:13:09] Love them.

[01:13:10] Nine, Hershey.

[01:13:10] Anything Hershey I'm in.

[01:13:12] Yep.

[01:13:12] And ten, Butterfinger.

[01:13:13] Love a Butterfinger.

[01:13:14] Mm-hmm.

[01:13:14] Where's my Snickers?

[01:13:16] That's my absolute favorite.

[01:13:18] Yeah, I like a Snickers.

[01:13:20] I love a Three Musketeers and it's throwback and everybody forgets about them.

[01:13:23] I don't think I've ever had one.

[01:13:25] Really?

[01:13:26] A Three Musketeers?

[01:13:27] Three Musketeers.

[01:13:28] Oh my God.

[01:13:29] They're like a Snickers without the nuts or the caramel.

[01:13:32] It's just malt, whatever the fake thing is in the middle.

[01:13:35] I don't know.

[01:13:36] Got it.

[01:13:36] Kentucky.

[01:13:38] Tennessee.

[01:13:39] They claim Snickers.

[01:13:41] Top candy.

[01:13:42] I'm in the right state.

[01:13:43] Yay!

[01:13:43] Then Tootsie Pops.

[01:13:45] How throwback.

[01:13:47] My home state of Missouri, I'm enjoyed.

[01:13:50] Boo!

[01:13:51] It's got coconut.

[01:13:52] Boo!

[01:13:53] Yeah, that's gross.

[01:13:54] Milky Way?

[01:13:54] Good.

[01:13:55] Yeah.

[01:13:55] Milky Way tastes like a Three Musketeers.

[01:13:57] They're very similar.

[01:13:58] Yeah.

[01:13:58] Third place, Hot Tamales.

[01:14:00] Mm-hmm.

[01:14:01] Yeah.

[01:14:01] I'm going to tell you in the schnotes where this article is.

[01:14:03] You can see your state.

[01:14:05] Let me see if there's anybody super weird.

[01:14:08] Oh, Georgia likes Jolly Ranchers?

[01:14:11] That's number one.

[01:14:12] Hmm.

[01:14:12] Yeah.

[01:14:13] And Swedish Fish is too?

[01:14:15] Oh.

[01:14:16] That's the weirdest one I've seen.

[01:14:18] Swedish Fish?

[01:14:19] Gross.

[01:14:19] Yeah.

[01:14:20] Oh.

[01:14:20] And they like Reese's Cups with third.

[01:14:22] That's normal.

[01:14:22] Yeah.

[01:14:23] Ohio Blow Pops.

[01:14:24] Really?

[01:14:27] I did love them as a kid, but that gum, you realize as an adult, lasts literally one and

[01:14:32] a half second.

[01:14:32] Yeah.

[01:14:33] Twix?

[01:14:33] I love a Twix.

[01:14:34] Twix are good.

[01:14:35] Yeah.

[01:14:36] Yeah.

[01:14:37] Well, I'll put it where I found it.

[01:14:38] You can go look it up.

[01:14:40] Oh, it was on the Weather Channel.

[01:14:42] Oh, how odd.

[01:14:43] I don't know how I found this.

[01:14:45] Anyway.

[01:14:46] Great.

[01:14:47] All right, termites.

[01:14:47] I got to do some thank you, some quotes, and then we'll get out of here.

[01:14:50] Next.

[01:14:52] My termite shout-out, Spartanburg.

[01:14:54] Oh, we got a new Snoop candle.

[01:14:56] Where's Snoop?

[01:14:56] Did I light him?

[01:14:57] Yeah.

[01:14:57] Yeah.

[01:14:58] Snoop's been everywhere again this week on NBC.

[01:15:01] So fun.

[01:15:01] He's just a wonderful person.

[01:15:03] George Kittle's doing well, too.

[01:15:04] All my candle people.

[01:15:06] George Kittle got me tons of points.

[01:15:07] Tons.

[01:15:07] He kept me alive.

[01:15:08] I didn't win.

[01:15:11] Travis had a great game.

[01:15:13] See?

[01:15:14] You let her go do her little show in New Orleans.

[01:15:16] You fucking focus on this playbook, monkey.

[01:15:19] You get out there.

[01:15:19] It was tight end day.

[01:15:20] It was tight end day.

[01:15:21] I know.

[01:15:22] Morata Tay Tay.

[01:15:23] That came from Krista, Bill, and their cat, Chloe and Mamu.

[01:15:29] My cat and Mamu.

[01:15:30] I got Greenies, Augusta, Augusta Beer, Lisa and Ned.

[01:15:34] Thank you.

[01:15:36] This one was good.

[01:15:37] The people kept, the kids kept, there's a kid that worked at the Spartanburg venue, Taylor.

[01:15:41] And I'm like, Taylor, if you stay nearby, there's going to be some extra beer for you.

[01:15:45] He was so excited.

[01:15:46] It's so exciting when you find a person who actually loves beer.

[01:15:49] Yeah.

[01:15:50] And you're like, you're not going to believe it.

[01:15:52] People bring me.

[01:15:52] Yeah.

[01:15:53] And I'm willing to share.

[01:15:54] Sit back and have a beer.

[01:15:57] Oh my God.

[01:15:58] These armored cow seltzers came back.

[01:15:59] Those from Eric and Michelle.

[01:16:01] They were amazing.

[01:16:02] The kid couldn't even believe it.

[01:16:03] He's like, this is really heavy.

[01:16:04] And some of the termites actually put like ice in a cooler.

[01:16:07] So it's cold when it gets back there.

[01:16:09] And then I'm like, should I return this ice block?

[01:16:11] I thought I should.

[01:16:12] They probably cost him 20 bucks.

[01:16:15] Meemaw's cheese straws.

[01:16:17] Sherry.

[01:16:17] The college t-shirt, which I love.

[01:16:19] Oh, and where's that hat?

[01:16:21] Oh, that's from the Live Nation guy.

[01:16:23] Cool.

[01:16:23] And I went because he told me to go to Beacon in Spartanburg.

[01:16:27] It was so fun.

[01:16:29] And I got a great t-shirt and a hat.

[01:16:30] It was very awesome.

[01:16:32] Some crunch popcorn from Michelle.

[01:16:35] And oh, the ginger ale.

[01:16:37] Everybody loves it.

[01:16:38] The children love ginger ale.

[01:16:40] It's easy.

[01:16:40] A ranch ornament.

[01:16:41] It's funny.

[01:16:42] Andrea and her nephew Matthew.

[01:16:44] He's one of the children.

[01:16:45] Right.

[01:16:46] Yeah.

[01:16:47] And then the lady who works there, she said I was her grandbaby's favorite person.

[01:16:52] And I'm like, well, then you bring that grandbaby backstage.

[01:16:54] We'll get a picture made.

[01:16:55] And then she came backstage, but she looked like someone I knew.

[01:16:58] And I thought, oh, fuck, I know this person.

[01:16:59] But now I don't know that I know this person.

[01:17:01] And then she was like, you don't know me.

[01:17:03] I'm like, whoo.

[01:17:05] Because I thought I did.

[01:17:06] And I didn't know.

[01:17:08] She looks like someone I know.

[01:17:10] She looks like one of my stars.

[01:17:13] She does look like Leanne Morgan's daughter.

[01:17:15] Yeah.

[01:17:17] Wilmington.

[01:17:18] I got the catfishing toy.

[01:17:20] Baby cat's too tired to see if she's truly interested.

[01:17:22] I can't tell yet.

[01:17:23] She's so nervous when I'm gone that when I get home, Mondays are just, she's out.

[01:17:30] Really?

[01:17:30] Because she can fully relax.

[01:17:31] I'm back.

[01:17:32] So then she doesn't really do anything on Mondays.

[01:17:36] She's made that quite clear.

[01:17:37] Are you going to be one of those people that travels with a cat?

[01:17:39] I would love to travel with a baby cat.

[01:17:41] And she would be fine with it because she'd be good in hotels.

[01:17:43] Come on.

[01:17:44] But then I'd have to have a tiny litter box.

[01:17:45] Yeah, I'm not going to go crazy.

[01:17:46] I'm never going to be those people.

[01:17:48] I feel like you might.

[01:17:50] I'd like to.

[01:17:51] If I was Stevie and I had a private jet, she has Lily, that Chinese hairless dog that goes everywhere with it.

[01:17:56] Oh, my God.

[01:17:56] Oh, my God, too.

[01:17:57] The reporter said.

[01:17:58] So I guess she went to Stevie's hotel room in New York.

[01:18:03] I don't know where.

[01:18:03] She went to some hotel room.

[01:18:05] Probably New York.

[01:18:05] At some point, Stevie took her in her bedroom, the sweet part of the bedroom, to introduce her to the Stevie Barbie.

[01:18:12] Now, if you're one of the children, you're probably like, oh, this is weird.

[01:18:16] But it's funny.

[01:18:18] She travels with it.

[01:18:20] Unbelievable.

[01:18:21] She loves it.

[01:18:22] Termite Sandra brought some awesome beer.

[01:18:24] The Calamity Jane beer, which I brought all six home.

[01:18:27] I was not going to give that to the children because I had it at Aunt Bonnie's that day.

[01:18:32] Oh, cool.

[01:18:32] Or Andy Bonnie.

[01:18:33] No.

[01:18:34] Aunt.

[01:18:34] No.

[01:18:34] Aunt.

[01:18:35] Aunt Bonnie's.

[01:18:36] I keep wanting to say Aunt.

[01:18:37] I brought, thank you for those six cans of that I brought at home, Claudia.

[01:18:40] Mermaid Ring.

[01:18:41] Will you be sharing it with me?

[01:18:43] You can have some, yeah.

[01:18:44] Shannon and Erin.

[01:18:45] I got the rosé.

[01:18:46] And I got a manifesting.

[01:18:48] So like when I sat on Southwest, I sat next to those young people and they were like, nobody manifest like Mindy.

[01:18:53] And I laughed for two more hours.

[01:18:56] And my brain just went to so many places.

[01:18:58] I think people really like that.

[01:18:59] I know, but it's not even really a joke.

[01:19:01] It's just something I really heard.

[01:19:02] But it is, people made me t-shirts with it that says it on it.

[01:19:05] Maybe you should do a t-shirt.

[01:19:06] Nobody manifest like Mindy.

[01:19:08] It's just manifesting has become such a word.

[01:19:11] Like it's part of the cool kid club words now.

[01:19:14] But you know, you need to sit with yourself and manifest.

[01:19:17] Oh my God.

[01:19:18] That used to just be called daydreaming.

[01:19:21] That's what we used to call it, I guess.

[01:19:23] But I think daydreaming, we're not concentrating hard enough.

[01:19:27] True.

[01:19:30] Me being the Pope to.

[01:19:32] Your Halloween costume.

[01:19:34] Yeah, to just what toy am I going to get for baby cat next.

[01:19:37] She got me a manifesting coloring book.

[01:19:40] Nice.

[01:19:40] That's Debbie.

[01:19:42] And then I got some Buckeye Blitz peanut popcorn from Joe and Chris.

[01:19:46] And that was from Columbus.

[01:19:47] It was in the mail.

[01:19:48] Nice.

[01:19:49] Yeah, okay.

[01:19:49] So that was all great.

[01:19:51] Now we're going to do some quotes.

[01:19:52] This week I've chosen Cher.

[01:19:56] We've had no votes today.

[01:19:58] Oh.

[01:19:59] Well, this is how I felt about the San Francisco 49ers bullshitting about whether my running back was injured or not.

[01:20:09] This is how I felt losing to Connie, who just learned how to play this year.

[01:20:14] My, oh, it's broken.

[01:20:23] 14 points behind.

[01:20:25] And this is how I felt in the other league where I only need two points by Najee to win tonight.

[01:20:32] Yeah, that's right.

[01:20:33] Let's go Najee.

[01:20:34] Let's go Steelers.

[01:20:35] Boom, boom, boom.

[01:20:36] After Pickleball.

[01:20:37] Coming after you, Jimmy.

[01:20:39] Cousin Jimmy.

[01:20:41] These McHugh boys, you got to watch out for them.

[01:20:44] We're going to do a quote by Cher.

[01:20:46] I think because I'm in a kind of a snappy mode today.

[01:20:51] Cher.

[01:20:54] A guy said, what do you do with Cher?

[01:20:57] She's too old to be young and she's too young to be old.

[01:21:00] I can't go the other way.

[01:21:01] So I'll have to wait till I'm old enough to be old.

[01:21:05] Oh.

[01:21:09] Nobody dislikes my age more than me.

[01:21:11] I can't help it.

[01:21:12] I've been here this long.

[01:21:16] And we're going to have one for Snoop to send everybody for a fun Halloween week.

[01:21:25] What am I going to be for Halloween is.

[01:21:27] Going to do for Halloween.

[01:21:28] Oh, well, one of my bartender friends, a youngster, Riley in the Delta Club goes, what are you going to be for Halloween?

[01:21:36] And I looked at her and I said this with no feeling behind it.

[01:21:40] I went, Riley, I haven't thought about that question since I was nine.

[01:21:45] I have had a job since I was 11.

[01:21:49] I thought we were done.

[01:21:51] When, you know, it switched into becoming a kid's holiday to.

[01:21:55] I don't have.

[01:21:57] I don't know.

[01:21:57] My brain doesn't work like that.

[01:21:58] We talked about that last time, though.

[01:22:00] But what am I going to do?

[01:22:02] I'm going to have to go to the lake bar and hide from the children.

[01:22:05] I'm going to put out a self-serve thing.

[01:22:06] Oh, my God.

[01:22:07] But I can see him on the ring doorbell and I'm going to yell at him, too.

[01:22:10] I can speak through that.

[01:22:11] I scared the shit out of my friend Dorff one time.

[01:22:13] I told him, go get my golf clubs off the porch and put it in the garage.

[01:22:16] And he didn't know.

[01:22:17] He's not good with technology.

[01:22:19] And he was on the porch.

[01:22:21] I was in like Seattle or somewhere, but I saw the ring come up.

[01:22:24] And I go, back the fuck up, motherfucker.

[01:22:26] And he goes, oh, shit.

[01:22:28] Oh, shit.

[01:22:28] And then he stood there and he goes, and I go, hello.

[01:22:31] And he goes, Maddie?

[01:22:33] Maddie?

[01:22:33] But he thought I was physically there.

[01:22:35] Like, you think I would really at this age be hiding behind a bush dwarf to scare you?

[01:22:40] No, I just wanted to fuck.

[01:22:41] But I'm going to tell the kids, I'm going to say, take what you want, but don't be a

[01:22:45] piggy pig.

[01:22:45] Right.

[01:22:46] And then I'll be on the ring doorbell and I'm going to sit at the bar and watch them.

[01:22:49] And know who's bad.

[01:22:50] And I'm going to, if they go for too many, I'm like, do you not think you crossed the

[01:22:53] pig line?

[01:22:55] Put one back.

[01:22:56] Put one back.

[01:22:57] The pig line.

[01:22:58] Yeah.

[01:23:00] It was funny.

[01:23:07] This is what Snoop said regarding the legalization of marijuana.

[01:23:12] I don't understand how selling weed could go from being the most hated, the most vicious

[01:23:17] thing that you could do to now everybody's capitalizing off of it and they're leaning

[01:23:21] towards a demographic that can prosper off it.

[01:23:24] I went to jail for it and it's still on my criminal record.

[01:23:28] It should be expunged.

[01:23:30] I agree.

[01:23:30] Yep.

[01:23:31] Yep.

[01:23:31] That should all be expunged.

[01:23:32] That would be another thing on my platform if I'm the president.

[01:23:35] If you were arrested for weed, all is forgiven.

[01:23:38] Go back to, go back to weed, you know, cause every, every bougie person in the world now

[01:23:43] has their favorite edible.

[01:23:44] I mean, now it's fine.

[01:23:45] I never had a problem with weed though.

[01:23:47] And I'm not a weed person.

[01:23:50] What?

[01:23:51] The gummies.

[01:23:52] Yeah.

[01:23:53] I, it's just so much easier to take a Tylenol, sleepy night night.

[01:23:56] Cause I know what's going to happen.

[01:23:59] Well, like Ronald give me gummies and he's like, nah, what you need to do is have two

[01:24:04] beers and they need a quarter of this.

[01:24:06] Wait, 30.

[01:24:07] It's too fucking hard.

[01:24:08] There's so much math involved.

[01:24:09] I can't, I can't, I don't know.

[01:24:12] But what I will say is that all of the super, I think it was, I don't know.

[01:24:20] Oh, what was her name?

[01:24:21] There was some Senator from Texas, a Christian right person.

[01:24:26] They all went crazy over weed being legalized.

[01:24:28] Yeah.

[01:24:28] Well, it got legalized and I went, you know what?

[01:24:30] It's not going to, there's got to, not going to be say a new crop of potential weed people,

[01:24:36] 18 year olds, right?

[01:24:37] Right.

[01:24:37] They're either going to get weed and like it and smoke it and they become weed people

[01:24:40] or not.

[01:24:41] Right.

[01:24:41] Like I'm a not just, I've tried it a million times.

[01:24:44] I just fall asleep.

[01:24:45] It's a waste of weed on me.

[01:24:47] There are some people who just chemically can't get with the program.

[01:24:49] I'm a drinker, not a drugger.

[01:24:51] Okay.

[01:24:53] Well, they made it sound like if you allow legalized weed, the whole country is just

[01:24:57] going to be high as shit, car wrecks everywhere.

[01:24:58] We're all just, and then we're all going to go, that was my old joke that it's a gateway

[01:25:02] drug.

[01:25:03] Then we're all just going to go to heroin and then, or whatever, you know, I can't even

[01:25:07] trank or whatever, crocodile, whatever.

[01:25:10] No, there's trank.

[01:25:12] Oh my God.

[01:25:13] Google it.

[01:25:14] They always say it's on the streets of Philadelphia in mass.

[01:25:19] Trank people look like zombies and they flail.

[01:25:24] Yeah.

[01:25:25] Kind of fascinated with street drugs.

[01:25:26] But anyway, here's the thing.

[01:25:29] You're awake today.

[01:25:30] The states where it's legal, like Missouri, this is what's confusing because I'm bi-state.

[01:25:36] I'm a bi-statal person.

[01:25:37] I'm a bi-lake-l person.

[01:25:38] I'm Lake of the Ozarks and I'm old Hickory Lake.

[01:25:40] Tennessee, weed, not legal.

[01:25:43] Gambling on your phone, totes legal.

[01:25:45] Encouraged.

[01:25:46] Encouraged, advertised, and very legal.

[01:25:49] So you can be a gambling addict, but you can't be high.

[01:25:52] Now that's, if I got to take one or the other, Missouri, weed legal.

[01:25:57] Gambling on your phone, not legal.

[01:25:59] So you can be high as shit, but we don't want you gambling.

[01:26:02] So your cousins are calling you to place vets.

[01:26:04] Oh, my cousins are driving to state lines.

[01:26:06] You know how many people drive to the closest Kansas or Illinois cell tower to gamble?

[01:26:11] Poor Mattress Mac.

[01:26:12] He's got to drive to Louisiana to get to a bed in.

[01:26:14] But then I'm like, you know what?

[01:26:15] You guys need to go.

[01:26:17] Here's what the people, when gambling's not allowed in your state, there's like a bar in Illinois, Fast Eddie's.

[01:26:22] You got to go to like Fast Eddie's, make friends, and then have them be your liaison.

[01:26:28] You don't need to get in a car and drive to a cell tower.

[01:26:31] But anyway.

[01:26:32] They all made it sound.

[01:26:33] So all these weed stores open in Missouri.

[01:26:35] And this is the same in every state because I check when I go.

[01:26:38] They're down to like two.

[01:26:42] Weed stores?

[01:26:42] Yeah.

[01:26:43] So like, let's say Seven opened in a small to medium-sized town.

[01:26:48] Because, and every comic I knew was like, yeah, we got to get some money.

[01:26:52] We had to open a weed.

[01:26:53] I'm like, you're not going to get, the only new weed people you're going to get is 18 somethings that haven't tried it or not.

[01:26:59] But that's going to be the case.

[01:27:00] All of my pop friends still use their weed guy.

[01:27:03] There's not a pop friend I had that goes to those stores.

[01:27:05] No.

[01:27:06] No, they still have Johnny the weed guy.

[01:27:07] And until Johnny's dead, they're not going to switch because they trust Johnny.

[01:27:11] And they know what they're getting.

[01:27:13] It was just a big thing that they all claimed was going to cause all this bullshit and all these problems.

[01:27:19] Not only did it not do that, they're not even self-sustainable.

[01:27:23] Like each town's going to end up with the proper amount that it should have had for the proper amount of weed people that were already there.

[01:27:29] It's like saying liquor stores.

[01:27:31] How many can we have?

[01:27:32] Depends on the drinking town.

[01:27:34] Not Salt Lake City.

[01:27:37] Not Salt Lake.

[01:27:38] No, I know.

[01:27:39] Can't.

[01:27:40] You should run for office.

[01:27:42] Well, I...

[01:27:42] There's a week to go.

[01:27:43] There's a week to go.

[01:27:44] I'm trying to get on.

[01:27:46] Maybe I can get in some of those spots where they kicked RFK off.

[01:27:49] Right in.

[01:27:49] For eating bears in Central Park or whatever the fuck he did.

[01:27:53] You know, episode 200 comes out the day after the election.

[01:27:56] You hope what?

[01:27:58] Episode 200.

[01:27:59] Episode 200.

[01:28:00] Well, I don't think we're going to know the day after the election.

[01:28:02] I don't think we're going to know for like a week.

[01:28:04] Yeah.

[01:28:05] And if there is going to be a Civil War, I need to know what my uniform is.

[01:28:09] Nobody has told me what colors.

[01:28:10] Are we going to go back to gray and navy?

[01:28:12] Right.

[01:28:12] Or what were the Civil War colors?

[01:28:14] The grays and the blues?

[01:28:15] Well, you'd have to have both.

[01:28:16] Because...

[01:28:17] Well, I'd have to have both.

[01:28:18] Because...

[01:28:19] Yeah.

[01:28:19] Missouri.

[01:28:20] North.

[01:28:20] Are we doing north and south?

[01:28:22] Or are we doing...

[01:28:23] I don't know.

[01:28:24] Are we doing different categorizations?

[01:28:27] I don't know.

[01:28:27] Like, are we doing Harris versus Trump?

[01:28:30] What's our Civil War?

[01:28:31] I don't know.

[01:28:31] I don't even define the teams.

[01:28:32] I don't know how you expect to start a proper war or a league.

[01:28:35] No.

[01:28:35] If you don't have any rules, you don't have a commissioner.

[01:28:37] No.

[01:28:38] Who likes the death penalty?

[01:28:41] Well, we could start with the death penalty and that would be your team.

[01:28:44] Yeah.

[01:28:45] And we'll give you a jersey with a skull and bones on it.

[01:28:47] And I would be...

[01:28:49] And a red flag.

[01:28:50] Death penalties should be up to the victims' families.

[01:28:53] I'm a little more judicial, a little more Libra.

[01:28:55] Let's make this a little more fair.

[01:28:57] I love gambling.

[01:28:58] Gambling, yes.

[01:28:59] Everybody could be...

[01:29:00] Weed, yes.

[01:29:02] Yes.

[01:29:02] I don't care.

[01:29:03] You want to be high all day?

[01:29:04] You do that.

[01:29:05] Yeah.

[01:29:08] Yeah.

[01:29:09] That's a start.

[01:29:09] That's my platform.

[01:29:10] I'd like to raise the speed limit, too.

[01:29:12] Raise the speed limit.

[01:29:13] We're raising the speed limit.

[01:29:14] Drive at your own risk.

[01:29:15] Okay.

[01:29:16] I also think people my height and my sister's height should not be allowed to buy giant SUVs.

[01:29:22] There's going to be a sign that says you must be this tall to purchase this vehicle.

[01:29:28] And you can call it shortism, heightism, whatever.

[01:29:31] It's a safety issue.

[01:29:33] And I'm one of the ones that would not benefit from this law.

[01:29:36] That shows you my fairness.

[01:29:38] I would say, no, Kathleen, you can't drive the Yukon.

[01:29:43] No.

[01:29:43] No.

[01:29:43] I can't.

[01:29:44] If you can't see the end of the hood, shouldn't be driving it.

[01:29:46] Right.

[01:29:47] I would say that.

[01:29:49] That's a new one, too.

[01:29:50] That's coming out.

[01:29:50] There's going to be a sign, just like the roller coaster at six legs.

[01:29:53] You got to be this tall to buy this car.

[01:29:55] Yep.

[01:29:56] Those are just a few things, anyway.

[01:29:58] All right, Terrence.

[01:29:58] I have to go because I have to have a call at 1 o'clock.

[01:30:02] Okay.

[01:30:02] And it is 1 o'clock.

[01:30:04] Oh.

[01:30:04] Yeah.

[01:30:05] He'll wait.

[01:30:05] Are you going to?

[01:30:08] Got to get some lunch before pickleball.

[01:30:10] Hot chicken.

[01:30:10] Hot chicken.

[01:30:11] Hot chicken.

[01:30:12] Party fall.

[01:30:12] Party fall.

[01:30:13] Hot chicken.

[01:30:13] Hot chicken.

[01:30:14] Good.

[01:30:15] I can play pickleball.

[01:30:16] Very excited.

[01:30:17] It's a beautiful day.

[01:30:18] It's going to be 70 degrees.

[01:30:19] Oh.

[01:30:20] Yep.

[01:30:21] That's why I'm kicking these cats out.

[01:30:22] You get out there while it's nice.

[01:30:23] You can come in here in winter when it's cold.

[01:30:25] She just lay there all day.

[01:30:26] Nice.

[01:30:27] Happy Halloween week.

[01:30:28] Happy Halloween, which is my grandpa's birthday.

[01:30:31] Nice.

[01:30:31] And this year he would be, well, 120.

[01:30:35] Wow.

[01:30:35] Yeah.

[01:30:36] Nice.

[01:30:36] Yep.

[01:30:37] He was born in 1904.

[01:30:38] Cool.

[01:30:38] Mm-hmm.

[01:30:39] Same year as the St. Louis World's Fair.

[01:30:40] So many things going on.

[01:30:43] Word of the Lord.

[01:30:43] Ready?

[01:30:44] That's it.

[01:30:45] That's it.