Episode 196: Monster Hurricanes, Irish Moonshine, & The Rise of Doomsday Preppers

[00:00:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_01]: To episode 196, Queen Stevie has a new song.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_02]: It's, you know...

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_02]: It's moving!

[00:00:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, you know...

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_02]: It's motivating!

[00:00:36] [SPEAKER_02]: It's, uh, you know, it's good for her. She took a little stance. It's a, it's a, um, her, she's very upset about if Roe v. Wade gets overturned. She wanted to write an anthem.

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's the good news, she's old enough that all the backlash she may or may not get...

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_02]: She won't hear.

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't matter. I personally have one billion dollars. I don't care. It doesn't matter what I say, people will still come to my shows.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I need to teach the younger people. Hello, chapel. Here's the thing. Whoa!

[00:01:05] Whoa!

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think though, sometimes you maybe should wait till you're at Stevie's level.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:01:10] Before...

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_05]: Before you kiss people.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, the children.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, or you gotta have a plan. Or you gotta have a thick skin. Or you gotta, I don't know.

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_02]: But we'll get into all that. First of all, Tormats, what are we drinking?

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, this is a lovely beer. Mm-hmm.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the Ocean Course at Kiowa Island. Nice.

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_02]: That's only like a twice in a lifetime course you're gonna play because it's very expensive.

[00:01:32] [SPEAKER_02]: But, uh, Lewis paid for it for my birthday.

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice! Yay!

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_02]: And I didn't know they had their own beer. The American Pale Ale from Kiowa. I love Kiowa.

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_02]: I just love the swamp. I love any swamp. New Orleans, Savannah.

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Did you golf every day?

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Did you golf every day?

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_02]: We golfed every day. Yeah, we did.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, I think I, in a past life, must have lived in a southern city that was a swamp.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Cause those are my favorites by a million.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought you. Mm-hmm.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_03]: Who won?

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God, I beat him.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Our whole goal with Lewis at the Ocean Course is to keep him under like 120.

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God!

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he did fine. He did great.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Explain that for people who don't golf.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, um, par would be 72.

[00:02:12] Oh shit.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so it's uh, and then I was worried cause you have to walk, you can't take a cart.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_02]: But he did great. I mean, not that he can't walk, but like sometimes he'll tuck her out cause he's not like walking eight miles.

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_02]: He's not like walking eight miles a day in New York City.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's clearly not a gym guy.

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_02]: So Lewis has never been in a gym in his life.

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_02]: And then some doctor told him maybe you could start doing that.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_02]: He went to the front desk at the Sunset Marquee and asked the young girl working there if they had a levitator.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_02]: A levitator.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_02]: He meant a Stairmaster.

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_02]: He meant like the elliptical is what he really meant.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_02]: He meant the elliptical and he couldn't, I'm like, Lou, a levitator would be like from The Exorcist.

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_02]: That's levitating.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_02]: And the girl was like, yeah, no, we don't have those.

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_02]: And he went back to his room and then we gave up.

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_02]: He was like, well, they didn't have a levitator.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm out.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, yep.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm done.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, wow.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_02]: So easy to quit when you just made up a machine that doesn't exist, Lewis.

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, we had a blast.

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_02]: If Kia was just, if you can ever go, I wouldn't want to live on my right there in Kia.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_02]: It was, it's second and third monstrous homes and all that.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_02]: But the beach is flat.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Walkable.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Water's not like Florida pretty.

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Just FYI.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I remember my mom and dad had to go for a golf tournament for Patrick.

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_02]: And my dad goes, we went to the beach.

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, why'd we even go there?

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like sitting on the goddamn Mississippi.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_02]: He was so mad.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_02]: The water was brown.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, yeah, but it's got a swampy feel and there's shrimp boats.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_02]: The shrimp boats are bad.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_02]: And my friend Drew went out in the ocean and it takes a long time to get out to where you

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_02]: can act, you know, the water's up to your waist because it's very, it's flat.

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's crazy because I know there's sharks there.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_02]: And I said, well, if I don't see you at, um, dinner.

[00:03:52] You're great.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm not swimming out to get your body parts.

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_02]: If they float up, I'll pick one up and send it back to Amy.

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's his arm.

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Any age is stupid, but anyway, locked out with the weather.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_02]: It was just great.

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_02]: So thanks for the birthday wishes too.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll get to some of that later in the show.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_02]: But, um, yeah, my little friend Rick was there and his wife sent me some stuff.

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_02]: It was a very, very nice and very, we didn't run into hardly any douche bags and it can get

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_02]: a little douchey out there.

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_02]: The food is great.

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Carolina barbecue at the one spot.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_02]: It kind of got you trapped out there though.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_02]: There's nowhere else to really go.

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_02]: So I treat it as five-star camping.

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Bring your own wine.

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I brought a bottle of red breast in case Lewis decided he was going to do all that.

[00:04:40] Mm-hmm.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Or Drew.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Irish whiskey.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Delicious.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Red breast is the best.

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, Jameson, Jameson for a daily thing.

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Red breast is a treat.

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a treat.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_02]: That's right.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_02]: This beer, an easy drinkable ale for a challenging course.

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I like it.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_02]: We took videos.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Speaking of videos, I've never posted a video of my standup on TikTok.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I just haven't gotten around to it.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_02]: And I don't know what the fuck, I don't even know how this is possible because I'm

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_02]: going to go to Salt Lake.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I posted my Mormon temple joke.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_02]: It's an old joke, but it's funny, I guess.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_02]: It's funny.

[00:05:17] I like it.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_02]: True.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_02]: True.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Everything I say happened pretty much exactly as is.

[00:05:21] Mm-hmm.

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't, 650,000 people have watched this video.

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I woke up in the morning and went, what the, that can't be right.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Like my normal TikTok videos of me just being a jackass.

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_02]: 4,000.

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Whatever.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't really engage on TikTok.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I clearly, I have missed the boat.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_02]: You have.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_02]: By about a decade.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, nothing new on that.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_02]: As soon as I learned MySpace, they told me it was closed.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Look, I just found out what a URL is.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_02]: My nephews were like, yeah, nobody's doing that.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_02]: So if you want to follow me on TikTok, at Kathleen Madigan, I don't even know what

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_02]: my name is.

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's me.

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_02]: You can find me.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Just put comedian.

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_02]: We'll put it in the schnotes.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I guess there's a lot of people that have toured the Mormon temple.

[00:06:08] Yeah.

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Or there's a lot.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_02]: It's bizarre.

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_02]: It's very strange.

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Why would.

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_04]: And then there were a lot of ex-Mormons that were saying bang on.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_02]: The ex-Mormons.

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I mean, I'm just telling the truth about that versus the Vatican.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_02]: And the Mormons could take some advice from me and make some more money.

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_02]: We know how to do it.

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_02]: We are a cash machine.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_02]: The Vatican knows.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I said to my sister, I can't believe this video.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Tell the girls, the twins to go on their TikToks.

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_02]: And I could hear the one twin in the background goes, I already saw it.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_02]: And my sister goes, did you comment?

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_02]: She goes, no.

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I go, oh, Emily, I like all of yours.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_02]: She goes, I gave you a like.

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I got.

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I might have to redo your will.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I gave you a like.

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_01]: You had 10 seconds of my time.

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_02]: They went to get their driver's license.

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_02]: This is why 16-year-old girls are so funny.

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_02]: And because they're twins, they just consult each other.

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_02]: The thing on said eye color.

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_02]: And they both stopped and looked at each other and goes, what do you think we should put?

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_02]: What do you mean?

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_02]: My sister goes, sometimes he cannot believe these are my own goddamn children.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_02]: And they had this whole conversation.

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, sometimes they're ice blue.

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_02]: But I think they're green.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Like at night, they're green.

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_02]: So should we put our like a seafoam blue?

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Like they're pulling colors like out of Lowe's in the paint section.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_02]: These weird names.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I said, why don't you should put red?

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_02]: That way if you're drunk, you can just say no.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I naturally, naturally my eyes are red.

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a weird condition.

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they, Kate goes, it was like a tent.

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_02]: And then the people at the place started getting involved.

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_02]: She goes, the old mean crabby lady who I didn't think would be nice to anybody goes,

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_02]: well, give me a look girls.

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to say they're blue.

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh no.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_02]: They are so fucking blue.

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_02]: They're the bluest of all blue eyes.

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_02]: And they have decided that they change a lot.

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Because at what time you would get pulled over by a cop.

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_02]: What, what top do I have on?

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Because sometimes my eyes change with our tops.

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Right, Claire?

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, to be 16.

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, to be 16.

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_02]: But my mom's very happy because now they can drive them around everywhere.

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_02]: She can, the girls would drive her everywhere.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_02]: And she says they're better drivers than her.

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Not hard.

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_04]: Not hard on that one.

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_04]: Not hard.

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I've seen her jump medians and I don't even think she knew it.

[00:08:23] What?

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Whatever.

[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a tiny little car.

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I, that's all I can think.

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a tiny car.

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_02]: She won't, somebody might kill her, but she was not going to kill other people.

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_05]: Right.

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_02]: She, I prefer not to drive.

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I get it, mom.

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_02]: That's why women are easier to hand over their keys in old age.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want my keys right now.

[00:08:43] No?

[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I hate driving.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Gotcha.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I hate it.

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_02]: It's just stressful.

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_02]: People are assholes.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_02]: It's much easier to ride around.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_02]: All right.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_02]: What are we eating?

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Snyder's.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_02]: One of my favorite kind of pretzels.

[00:08:55] [SPEAKER_02]: These, oh, this is from Rick and Kiwa and his wife, um, Lee.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_02]: She's a, she's a termite.

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, yeah, I don't think Rick is.

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I think he just likes my standup.

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_02]: But anyway, she was playing bridge so she couldn't come over and say hi.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_02]: She brought.

[00:09:10] Sorry, Kat.

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_02]: We made her a video.

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm busy.

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I walked to the pro shop, but there were like 18 people from the state of Missouri

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_02]: and the Lake of the Ozarks.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_02]: It was crazy.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I go, oh, I'm, I'm actually building a house at Lake of the Ozarks.

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, they're like, what mile marker?

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like three.

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, oh my God, we're at five.

[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I like, ah.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_02]: It's okay.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_02]: And then the kid behind the thing is from Macon, Missouri.

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I go, that's where the guy building my house is from.

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Macon, Missouri.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, a lot of people, a lot of Missouri people making it to Kiwa.

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_02]: These are hot buffalo wing pretzels.

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God.

[00:09:42] What?

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Big flavor.

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_03]: Big flavor.

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_03]: That's what it says on the pack.

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, no, no, no, it keeps going.

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate the effort.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Now I know.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Saves me the money.

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't have to go buy them.

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_02]: There you go.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Work of the Lord.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Everybody's doing the work of the Lord.

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_04]: You should taste the pie first.

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, the pie.

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_02]: This is from, um, Termite Steve in New York.

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Brooklyn.

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_02]: From a Brooklyn bakery.

[00:10:13] Yeah.

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I never make it to Brooklyn.

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00]: He came to the, uh.

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I always get, right in Manhattan, I get stuck.

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_02]: He came to the town hall show.

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, the town hall show.

[00:10:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, that.

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_02]: That was fun.

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Um.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Surprising.

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Little bites.

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_02]: It's very rich.

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_02]: What kind of?

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_02]: The Betty Bakery.

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_02]: This is chocolate caramel.

[00:10:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Cocoa nibs and sea salt.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I would recommend that.

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_02]: If you live in Brooklyn, get on down to the Betty Bakery.

[00:10:41] Nice.

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_02]: That's really good.

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_02]: With coffee, that would be outstanding.

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_02]: A plus.

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_02]: With coffee.

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it doesn't go so well with ocean beer.

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_02]: These go well with ocean beer.

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_02]: And these are Hal's.

[00:10:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Um.

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_02]: These are from Long Island Termites.

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Claire and Mike and their new puppy Madigan.

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_02]: They named it.

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Isn't that adorable?

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Which in Gaelic actually means little dog.

[00:11:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_02]: How did they know I was going to turn out like this?

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_02]: You are a little dog.

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I think the whole clan looked like that.

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_02]: And they went, I don't know, they're tiny and mouthy.

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_02]: They bark a lot.

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's why I like beagles.

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_02]: I see myself in a beagle.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_02]: It ain't the smartest dog in the pack, but it's fucking fun.

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Howling all the time.

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I always got something to say.

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Hal's New York Kettle Chips.

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Sea salt and vinegar.

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Always my favorite.

[00:11:29] [SPEAKER_04]: A plus.

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_02]: A plus.

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Well done.

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_02]: If I can't have Lay's.

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_02]: These, oh, gluten free.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I can send them to my sister.

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God.

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_02]: You just send open products to your family.

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, she'll eat them.

[00:11:42] [SPEAKER_02]: She doesn't care if it's open.

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a joke book.

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_02]: The kids, I put it, I make a kid's box.

[00:11:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, once a month.

[00:11:48] Okay.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_02]: All right.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Where are we going?

[00:11:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, well this weekend, by the time you hear this, I'll be on my way to Salt Lake.

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:11:56] Jesus.

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_02]: No, sorry.

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Troy.

[00:11:58] Troy.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_02]: First.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Where are you, right?

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I posted the joke too soon, probably.

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, no.

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know TikTok would do all that.

[00:12:06] [SPEAKER_02]: You haven't been to Troy yet.

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_02]: No, I'm going to Troy, New York, October 11th.

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_02]: That one's pretty much sold out, sold out.

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_02]: And then Burlington, Vermont.

[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I want to see the leaves.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_02]: How lucky is this?

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm going away from all the bullshit.

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_02]: The shout out to all my friends in Florida, Les McCurdy, everybody else.

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I hope you guys, I hope it isn't as bad as they say it's going to be, but.

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_04]: Your friend Billy is staying.

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_02]: My friend Billy.

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Billy, do you listen to this?

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Probably not.

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_02]: He does.

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Does he?

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Dear God.

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_02]: You've, I know you're Canadian, but you've been here long enough to get, get the vibe.

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_02]: In Florida.

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_02]: He's the equipment manager for the Toronto Blue Jays.

[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_02]: He's staying.

[00:12:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Dude.

[00:12:44] [SPEAKER_02]: His friend's got a generator.

[00:12:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:12:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I get it.

[00:12:46] [SPEAKER_02]: But the rest of it's a shit show.

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I got stuck in one.

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_02]: And.

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_02]: You've been having a lot of whiskey.

[00:12:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, if you're a weather person, it's kind of, I hate to use the word exciting, but it's like interesting to see it all coming.

[00:13:01] [SPEAKER_02]: But then it's the aftermath.

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_02]: The air conditioning is out.

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Even if your generator, there's, dude, stores not open.

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, there's just shit everywhere that it's a nightmare.

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_02]: But thankfully I think Jackalow, my dad's looking out for me.

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Perfect weather in Kiowa.

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Now going to Troy and Burlington in the fall where it's going to be beautiful.

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Wonderful.

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_02]: And then buzzing out to Salt Lake.

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:13:21] [SPEAKER_02]: My research assistants, Bob and Clark will be meeting me.

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_02]: For fun.

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Cool.

[00:13:27] [SPEAKER_02]: And we're going to go up to Park City because I've never been there.

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, fun.

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I've never been to Park City, but I'm not a skier.

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_02]: It's pretty.

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but.

[00:13:34] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a great time here.

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_02]: What if you're not a skier?

[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like Aspen.

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I just walk around.

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_02]: This is what I do in Aspen.

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I walk around and look in store windows and go, who the fuck pays $5,000 for ski boots?

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Or not, they're not even ski boots.

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_02]: They're apreski.

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Apreski.

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I guess those rich people don't care about me.

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, October 25th, Spartanburg, South Carolina, Wilmington, North Carolina.

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I hope all my North Carolina pals.

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Very disturbing.

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to talk about that with some Queen news.

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Asheville.

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I work there at least once every 18 months at the orange peel, blah, blah, blah.

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_02]: It's crazy.

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Then Nashville.

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Nashville, November 9th at the Ryman.

[00:14:16] It's going to be fun.

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be super fun.

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Lots of surprises.

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Lots of surprises.

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe I'll see if Jelly Roll's home.

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, Jelly, want to come over?

[00:14:25] [SPEAKER_02]: He would.

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_02]: He's so nice.

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, what would you like me to do, Kathleen?

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, what is it that you're known for?

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Let me get my papers out.

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Jelly Roll.

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_02]: What's your real name?

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_02]: And what is it that people know you for?

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, then I would like you to do that.

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Go out for three and a half minutes and do what people know you for.

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_02]: It's weird.

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Music and comedy are they ever get on the same gigs, which sucks because I'd like to meet more of those people.

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I just meet the same goddamn hundred comedians over and over and over and over and over and over.

[00:14:58] [SPEAKER_02]: November 15th and 16th, Boston, the Wilbur.

[00:15:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Boom.

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_02]: I will be at the Black Rose having clam chowder.

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Boom.

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I love it when I have two nights in one city.

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_02]: It's so much easier, especially I'm a hundred years old.

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on.

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Make it easy.

[00:15:11] [SPEAKER_02]: November 22nd, El Cajon, California.

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_02]: That show always sells out and I don't even can't even believe I can sell tickets there.

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_02]: November 23rd, Riverside.

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_02]: That's a great one, too.

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_02]: So and then it goes on and on and on.

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_02]: If you want the rest of my life, you can go on KathleenMadigan.com and see where I'm going.

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_02]: We're already starting in the fall of 2025.

[00:15:34] Yeah.

[00:15:35] [SPEAKER_04]: It's requested.

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Crab in my style.

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, don't even book gigs in the South till we know about college football schedules.

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, yeah, that's not something L.A. is super familiar with.

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Nope.

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_02]: We cannot work in Georgia if Georgia is playing Alabama on Saturday at any time.

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't care if the game's at goddamn eight in the morning.

[00:15:53] [SPEAKER_02]: They'll be drunk all day.

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't care if it's eight at night.

[00:15:55] [SPEAKER_02]: They'll be drunk all day as and they're they're occupied.

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, so, uh, we did Foxwoods.

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_02]: That was great.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Michael Somerville was with me town hall.

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I was supposed to be on good day New York and I got bumped because the mayor did terrible

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_02]: things.

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_02]: That was funny.

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_02]: And I watched the whole thing on the plane up there because it was breaking news everywhere

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_02]: that the mayor of New York was in all this trouble.

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Never even occurred to me.

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh shit, I bet I'll be bumped.

[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_02]: But at least they bought me the night before so I didn't get all ready and get down there.

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_02]: That that kind of bumping ain't cool.

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I've done it a million times on Letterman.

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_02]: You get ready.

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_02]: You're nervous all day.

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, not for good day New York.

[00:16:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I wouldn't be nervous.

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_02]: But Letterman, you and then you get there and you're bumped.

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_02]: And I got bumped so many times.

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_02]: One time I was in an L the elevator within the theater and Steve Martin was in it.

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_02]: And I couldn't believe I was looking at Steve Martin.

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_02]: He's one of the smartest people like actual a genius people use that word and I find it

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_02]: to be overused.

[00:16:46] [SPEAKER_02]: He is he can paint.

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_02]: He can write books.

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_02]: He can play the banjo like nobody's business.

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_02]: And he goes, hello.

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, what's your name?

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I said, I'm the lady that you're going to bump.

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, well, I go, I'm just a comedian.

[00:17:01] [SPEAKER_02]: You don't, you should not know who I am.

[00:17:04] [SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, I know you're doing your bluegrass deal tonight with your band and I'm going to

[00:17:09] [SPEAKER_02]: get bumped.

[00:17:09] [SPEAKER_02]: And he goes, well, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen.

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Young lady.

[00:17:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, that nice.

[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I said, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_02]: I get paid anyway.

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I still get $849.

[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_02]: So if you bump me, I'm really going to make $1,700 because I'll get tomorrow night.

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_02]: They already promised me the next time.

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_02]: So, yeah.

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_02]: So he felt good about bump.

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_02]: So, uh, town hall was great.

[00:17:27] [SPEAKER_02]: And I got to meet, um, a producer and a writer.

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_02]: One of the big ones for chimp crazy.

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_02]: And I have a secret, secret, secret, top secret knowledge of what is going on currently with

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Tanya.

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm not saying it's a hundred percent for sure, but I believe she may have gotten

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_02]: some chumps.

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, breaking news.

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I have sources.

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_02]: In the Ozarks?

[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_02]: In the Ozarks.

[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God.

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Now that all the tourists are gone.

[00:18:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Now it's just the locals at the bar.

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_02]: We all know what the fuck's going on.

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Cause somebody works at the feed store and somebody sees which.

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Everyone's a tire buyer.

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I said may or may not.

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Can't be sued.

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_02]: What's his name?

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Tanya, leave me alone.

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I do not know the name.

[00:18:15] No, his name.

[00:18:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, his name is Evan wise.

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_02]: And he told me, I said, how did she not know you're filming when she shuts the computer

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_02]: lid and just lied in a deposition under oath.

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_02]: And then says, now all we got to do is hide Tonka.

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_02]: He's like, we, the cameras are rolling.

[00:18:35] [SPEAKER_02]: We told her, don't say anything you don't want to say that won't be on TV.

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_02]: He said it was just as confusing on our end.

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_04]: It was so crazy.

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_04]: She starts bawling and then she just stops.

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_02]: He was so interesting to hang out with.

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_04]: How did you meet him?

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I met him from, there's a young comedian, Liz.

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_02]: And I don't know if I want to say me, me, me, me, me.

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if I'm saying it right.

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Her special is great.

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I've watched a bunch of her videos and it's her boyfriend.

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, cool.

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_02]: She wanted, I gave her tickets to the show cause she said she liked all my jokes and

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_02]: all that.

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_02]: And then she couldn't come cause like a good kid, she was working.

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_04]: She got a standup special on YouTube.

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_02]: She's got a shit ton on YouTube.

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:19:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's M E I L E.

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Last name.

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just not sure how, if I'm pronouncing it right, which is usually never the case.

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I also did.

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_02]: She's funny.

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Speaking of funny women, two of my favorite comedians who just happen to be women, Jackie

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Cation and Laurie Kilmartin.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_02]: And they have a podcast called the Jackie and Laurie show.

[00:19:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Jackie is the queen of all nerds.

[00:19:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I find it.

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't even understand sometimes what she's talking about.

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_02]: And I laugh because it's like super nerd land.

[00:19:41] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like advanced nerd.

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:19:43] [SPEAKER_02]: And she's very proud of that.

[00:19:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:19:44] [SPEAKER_02]: And then Laurie is more like me.

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Just not a nerd.

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_02]: But they, they are.

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_02]: So I did there.

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_02]: If you want to go online, we'll put that in the notes and you can, it's just a fun little

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_02]: conversation that was, you know, all that.

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Cool.

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Moving on to queen.

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Then we're going to talk a little tiny bit about football.

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_02]: If you don't like sports, you can.

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_04]: Everybody likes the football stuff.

[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Queen dues.

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Chap, chapel.

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Midwest princess, queen of Missouri.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, well, she, she, this is what I love about the children.

[00:20:19] [SPEAKER_02]: She got online and said that she thought all politicians suck and she didn't want to vote

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_02]: for anybody.

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_02]: That's normal.

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_02]: No problem.

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_02]: But then I don't think she understood the backlash.

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_02]: And then she made another video saying, you know, well, of course, obviously a fucking

[00:20:35] [SPEAKER_02]: body.

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_02]: She got, there's a lot going on in Southern, a lot of mouth in Southern Missouri.

[00:20:40] [SPEAKER_02]: They're mouthy.

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_02]: My friend Heidi just be right up that same alley and, um, and Danielle.

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:20:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, but then she canceled some shows cause she got overwhelmed.

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_02]: This is what I like about the younger people though.

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_02]: At her age, it would not have entered my mind that I could do that.

[00:21:00] [SPEAKER_05]: No.

[00:21:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Like if somebody said, well, Kathleen, why don't you cancel them?

[00:21:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, cause it's fucking work.

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:21:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, unless I am so sick that I cannot get off a couch, it literally would not have

[00:21:12] [SPEAKER_02]: entered my brain.

[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm glad if they get upset, you know, there's a reason people my age smoked every cigarette

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_02]: on earth and drank every drink we could ever drink because we just had to do a lot of shit

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_02]: we didn't want to do, but it wouldn't occur to me that I couldn't do it.

[00:21:26] Nope.

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_02]: These ones just go, no, no, then I, good for her.

[00:21:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, but this is where the kids have to learn on their own on social media.

[00:21:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I think of her aunt, the one who, who texted me, who wrote to me and I'm sure she's down

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_02]: there in Southern Missouri and going, what is she doing?

[00:21:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Like they have to learn on their own though.

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_02]: If you're going to put something like that on social media or just don't look at social

[00:21:52] [SPEAKER_02]: media, which is very, very difficult.

[00:21:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I get it.

[00:21:55] [SPEAKER_02]: But like back in the day before social media, let's say Cindy Lauper would have mouthed off

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_02]: about something one way or the other.

[00:22:03] [SPEAKER_02]: She would have never known the backlash.

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Nope.

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_02]: So fuck it.

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Say what you want to say.

[00:22:08] [SPEAKER_02]: And then, then either don't look at, that would be my advice.

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Say what you want to say, but then promise yourself you won't look at social media or

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_02]: do say nothing, say nothing.

[00:22:18] [SPEAKER_02]: That's the other option, but she's a mouthy one.

[00:22:21] [SPEAKER_02]: That's why I like her.

[00:22:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Great.

[00:22:22] [SPEAKER_02]: And then she just sold out Austin city limits.

[00:22:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I've never seen that many people in an aerial view for one performer.

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sure it's happened, but recently.

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_04]: No, I think it was bigger than the central park.

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Bigger than, Oh my God.

[00:22:36] [SPEAKER_02]: For.

[00:22:37] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I think that would freak me out.

[00:22:40] Yeah.

[00:22:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Like the most people I've ever been probably in arena show or something, 20,000 people,

[00:22:45] [SPEAKER_02]: but I'm not the show there.

[00:22:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm all of a show.

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like a benefit or fundraiser or radio promo show where there's like five comedians

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_02]: on it.

[00:22:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, I, I can see how these kids get weirded out.

[00:22:59] Yeah.

[00:23:00] [SPEAKER_02]: You know, probably 10 years ago, she's in Southern Missouri going to dairy queen.

[00:23:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, literally.

[00:23:08] [SPEAKER_02]: And then it's this like, holy shit.

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I, yeah, it's a lot.

[00:23:13] [SPEAKER_02]: So, um, thumbs up to the, to chapel.

[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, Dolly queen Dolly.

[00:23:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, so sad.

[00:23:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, but it was a, so she got it.

[00:23:25] [SPEAKER_02]: She got up in the morning, got herself all dialed up.

[00:23:29] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm sure at age 78, it takes a hot minute.

[00:23:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, dressed in the cutest dress heels that I couldn't wear now for five inch heels.

[00:23:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Somebody drove her ass up the mountain to the town where she's go get, they used to

[00:23:45] [SPEAKER_02]: get down to work up there.

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like called a new, I forget the Newport.

[00:23:50] [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's a little mountain town because of all the hurricane that hit there.

[00:23:55] [SPEAKER_02]: She pops out of an SUV.

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, she gets, she just takes, she's in a Walmart parking lot, takes the microphone.

[00:24:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's the thing people don't even get.

[00:24:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Just her doing that makes people so happy.

[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_02]: They can't fucking believe that Dolly, she showed up.

[00:24:10] [SPEAKER_02]: She's got a little microphone.

[00:24:12] [SPEAKER_02]: She's going, Helene, Helene, Helene, Helene.

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, how fortunate that totally rhymes with Jolene.

[00:24:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Like what are the fucking odds that the hurricane who destroyed her hometown will pop up?

[00:24:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Part of her hometown.

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Is Gatlinburg is not as bad and Sevierville aren't as bad as the actual mountain towns,

[00:24:33] [SPEAKER_02]: which is weird because you think it would have all drained down to them.

[00:24:37] [SPEAKER_02]: She going to donate $1 million out of her own pocketbook.

[00:24:40] [SPEAKER_02]: And then Dollywood's going to match that.

[00:24:43] [SPEAKER_02]: So her corporation, which is really her, who's all kidding her.

[00:24:47] [SPEAKER_02]: She's given $2 million.

[00:24:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I have like a double tax right off.

[00:24:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's right.

[00:24:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to get two tax right off.

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_02]: But you still got to give the money.

[00:24:56] [SPEAKER_02]: She shows up.

[00:24:56] [SPEAKER_02]: She shows up.

[00:24:57] [SPEAKER_02]: She gave a big speech.

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_02]: She took questions.

[00:25:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, then the guy, oh, the, uh, Walmart guy, he was actually pretty nice.

[00:25:06] [SPEAKER_02]: A middle-aged guy.

[00:25:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, she was going to go give him the mic.

[00:25:09] [SPEAKER_02]: She goes, you're just so handsome.

[00:25:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, Oh, we can't sound like your, yes.

[00:25:15] [SPEAKER_02]: It was made me laugh though.

[00:25:17] [SPEAKER_01]: So Queen Dolly doing the right thing.

[00:25:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Tommy had his fourth week of broadcasting.

[00:25:25] [SPEAKER_02]: This is how some of his reviews are going.

[00:25:31] [SPEAKER_02]: They're calling him Captain Obvious.

[00:25:32] [SPEAKER_02]: I think he's doing fine.

[00:25:34] [SPEAKER_02]: It's just going to take a hot minute.

[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_04]: Everybody's weird their first season.

[00:25:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:25:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, and what's his faces?

[00:25:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Half of them are still weird.

[00:25:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Would you take Tom Brady over Chris Collinsworth?

[00:25:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[00:25:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Would you take him over Al Michaels?

[00:25:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[00:25:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, Tommy's doing fine.

[00:25:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Snoop.

[00:25:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Was it the pit stealer game?

[00:25:56] [SPEAKER_02]: It was great.

[00:25:58] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, how does a kid from Southern California?

[00:26:00] [SPEAKER_02]: And he was like, yeah, but back in the day, there weren't that many teams.

[00:26:03] [SPEAKER_02]: In the seventies.

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_02]: He felt like Pittsburgh represented him.

[00:26:06] [SPEAKER_02]: He wanted to meet mean Joe green.

[00:26:08] [SPEAKER_02]: That's all he wanted.

[00:26:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:26:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, Tay Tay was at the chiefs game.

[00:26:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:26:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Chiefs destroyed, dominated.

[00:26:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I have an ongoing bet with my builder, Mike.

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Mike should stop gambling with me.

[00:26:22] [SPEAKER_02]: It was a case of beer every time.

[00:26:23] [SPEAKER_02]: He's up to four cases.

[00:26:25] [SPEAKER_02]: He's lost four in a row.

[00:26:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, Mike, at this point, you're going to need the Clydesdales.

[00:26:29] [SPEAKER_02]: And I don't know how you're going to procure that because they're not cheap.

[00:26:33] [SPEAKER_02]: You can't just rent them on a dime on a phone call.

[00:26:35] [SPEAKER_02]: You need money and a plan.

[00:26:37] [SPEAKER_02]: And you're going to have to have a truck first.

[00:26:39] [SPEAKER_02]: And I said, you're welcome to bring your wife.

[00:26:41] [SPEAKER_02]: You can sit on the dock and drink all this beer with me.

[00:26:44] [SPEAKER_02]: But yeah, I said the chiefs would win by seven or more.

[00:26:48] [SPEAKER_02]: And they did.

[00:26:48] Wow.

[00:26:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Jelly Belly.

[00:26:50] [SPEAKER_02]: He's been out everywhere.

[00:26:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Everywhere.

[00:26:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Doing good things.

[00:26:53] [SPEAKER_02]: And who's a queen Stevie.

[00:26:55] [SPEAKER_02]: We already talked about that.

[00:26:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:26:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, right.

[00:27:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Queen Stevie's doing SNL.

[00:27:03] [SPEAKER_02]: And my friend Laura, who does stuff there.

[00:27:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't really, I don't want to stay because I don't want to get her in trouble.

[00:27:09] [SPEAKER_02]: But Laura could have maybe gotten me a ticket.

[00:27:15] [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm on my turn.

[00:27:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I have to work.

[00:27:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I have to work.

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll be on Burlington Vermont.

[00:27:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, you think you're going to be in Salt Lake.

[00:27:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:27:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought it was going to be, it's a lot, much longer flight to Salt Lake.

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I need every single Catholic in Salt Lake.

[00:27:31] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I need to show up at Kingsbury Hall.

[00:27:34] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:27:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not even going to tell you, but you're going to find out anyway.

[00:27:37] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a dry campus.

[00:27:38] [SPEAKER_02]: They know that.

[00:27:41] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a dry campus.

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Fuck.

[00:27:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I told my agent who is a wonder woman.

[00:27:48] [SPEAKER_02]: She really is a wonder woman.

[00:27:50] [SPEAKER_02]: How did this get past me, Heidi?

[00:27:52] Mm-hmm.

[00:27:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to blame you and me.

[00:27:55] [SPEAKER_02]: She's Catholic.

[00:27:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, where's a pre-party?

[00:28:00] Mm-hmm.

[00:28:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Am I allowed to bring alcohol in?

[00:28:02] [SPEAKER_02]: I haven't found these things out.

[00:28:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Nope.

[00:28:04] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:28:04] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:28:07] You can't even bring it on.

[00:28:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's where everybody plays, they say, and it's very nice.

[00:28:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:28:13] [SPEAKER_02]: So go get your drinks on.

[00:28:15] Yeah.

[00:28:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:28:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on over.

[00:28:19] [SPEAKER_04]: What do you think Stevie's going to do on us now?

[00:28:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I think Stevie's going to sing her new song, Lighthouse.

[00:28:25] [SPEAKER_02]: And it's pretty good once it gets going, but it's a little slow out of the gate.

[00:28:30] Yeah.

[00:28:30] I like the chorus.

[00:28:32] [SPEAKER_02]: I think she'll just be the musical guest.

[00:28:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't think they're going to put her in sketches.

[00:28:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I hope not.

[00:28:37] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:28:37] No.

[00:28:38] [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, no, as my dad would say.

[00:28:40] [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:28:41] [SPEAKER_02]: She's a witch.

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, she could be a Halloween witch.

[00:28:43] [SPEAKER_02]: They could do a Halloween sketch.

[00:28:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:28:46] [SPEAKER_02]: See?

[00:28:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Why am I not on their writing team?

[00:28:48] [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to use Stevie as the good witch.

[00:28:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:28:50] [SPEAKER_02]: And then somebody else is the bad witch.

[00:28:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:28:54] [SPEAKER_02]: So there you go.

[00:28:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what the answer is, but that's caught up on the football talk.

[00:29:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Then we're going to move on to updates.

[00:29:02] [SPEAKER_02]: I have a lot of updates.

[00:29:03] [SPEAKER_02]: A shit ton.

[00:29:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:29:04] [SPEAKER_02]: And they're all juicy.

[00:29:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Jimmy Johnson.

[00:29:08] No.

[00:29:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, no.

[00:29:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry.

[00:29:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Jimmy Johns.

[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_02]: No, not Jimmy Johnson.

[00:29:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know why.

[00:29:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Why don't even, why did I write that down?

[00:29:16] I have no idea.

[00:29:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, Jerry Jones is what I meant.

[00:29:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[00:29:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I know.

[00:29:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I also made up that I had a radio phone right at nine o'clock this morning and I'm texting

[00:29:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Katie, the publicist going, is anybody, um, set all this up or?

[00:29:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_02]: She's like, um, no crazy legs.

[00:29:33] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not till Friday.

[00:29:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, oh, sorry.

[00:29:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:29:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Haven't even been drinking.

[00:29:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, Jerry Jones landed his helicopter on the goddamn practice field of the Cowboys.

[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_02]: This is why the Cowboys will never win the Super Bowl.

[00:29:48] [SPEAKER_02]: It's all about Jerry.

[00:29:49] [SPEAKER_02]: 24 hours about Jerry.

[00:29:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Now, if I'm a young player, I'm probably like, that's kind of cool for a minute.

[00:29:56] [SPEAKER_02]: And then it's like, what is your square bobble headed Russian doll self doing here?

[00:30:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Get go home.

[00:30:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:30:02] [SPEAKER_02]: We will take care of this.

[00:30:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[00:30:05] [SPEAKER_02]: On the same note.

[00:30:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I've fallen to second place in one of my leagues in my other league.

[00:30:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, with the, I'm crawling up.

[00:30:15] [SPEAKER_02]: My friend drew is in first place.

[00:30:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I know.

[00:30:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Cause he sent a text basking in the glory.

[00:30:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I'm always amused by drew, but he killed me cause he had a tight end out of nowhere.

[00:30:30] [SPEAKER_02]: They got like a thousand points.

[00:30:32] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I have a lot of chiefs that are getting hurt.

[00:30:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I had Rashi rice.

[00:30:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, well, and I said, my God, I wake up on Tuesday morning and go, what am I going to

[00:30:41] [SPEAKER_02]: do with this mess?

[00:30:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Think if this was real.

[00:30:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Like if you're really Andy Reed and then you're like, well, I got to go get people.

[00:30:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I got to go start shopping.

[00:30:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Like who's available.

[00:30:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Who wants to be a chief?

[00:30:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Everybody wants to be a chief.

[00:30:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Why wouldn't you want to be a chief?

[00:30:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I hope they get Devante Adams.

[00:30:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, that would be, that would be the nail in the coffin.

[00:31:00] [SPEAKER_02]: But he wants to either go to New Orleans.

[00:31:02] [SPEAKER_02]: I wouldn't do that.

[00:31:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Or the jets.

[00:31:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I definitely wouldn't do the jets.

[00:31:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Definitely.

[00:31:07] [SPEAKER_02]: New Orleans, it'll use to be fun city.

[00:31:08] Buffalo.

[00:31:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Buffalo.

[00:31:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Go to Buffalo.

[00:31:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Colonial.

[00:31:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Josh Allen's fine.

[00:31:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:31:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, then this morning, breaking news, uh, the jets have fired their head coach.

[00:31:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Why?

[00:31:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Because princess Aaron doesn't like him.

[00:31:23] [SPEAKER_02]: This is what the problem is when you hire Aaron.

[00:31:26] [SPEAKER_02]: It's the same as LeBron.

[00:31:27] [SPEAKER_02]: At some point, when you have the 40 year old that thinks they're the fucking smartest

[00:31:31] [SPEAKER_02]: person in the room, what do you think is going to happen to that coach?

[00:31:34] [SPEAKER_02]: You're going to have to hire a coach that is willing to be second place.

[00:31:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Or as I like to say it, somebody's little bitch.

[00:31:40] [SPEAKER_02]: And Mike McCarthy puts up with Jerry Jones's bullshit for whatever reasons.

[00:31:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sure there are reason enough for him.

[00:31:47] [SPEAKER_02]: But are you really the coach?

[00:31:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Or is Jerry the coach?

[00:31:51] [SPEAKER_02]: And if you're at the jets, are you really the coach?

[00:31:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Or is Aaron the coach?

[00:31:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Aaron's the coach.

[00:31:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Aaron is LeBron.

[00:31:57] [SPEAKER_02]: He's pushing him, physically pushing him on the sidelines.

[00:31:59] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, yeah.

[00:32:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:32:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I feel very bad for jets fans that bought PSLs to buy season tickets.

[00:32:06] [SPEAKER_02]: And it is a shit show.

[00:32:07] [SPEAKER_03]: It is.

[00:32:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Now they got to go find a coach.

[00:32:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Aaron will probably just say, don't we don't even need one.

[00:32:12] [SPEAKER_02]: It gets down to, I'm just, you're crazy now.

[00:32:13] [SPEAKER_02]: You're going to be your own attorney at your own murder trial.

[00:32:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, stop it.

[00:32:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Not coachable.

[00:32:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Not coachable.

[00:32:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:32:20] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:32:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's what I've been watching.

[00:32:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I also was watching Godless on Netflix, speaking of things I was watching.

[00:32:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, you said that was good.

[00:32:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I like it.

[00:32:28] [SPEAKER_02]: It's the lady from Downton Abbey and she's British and she has a wonderful American accent.

[00:32:32] [SPEAKER_02]: And then Jeff Daniels is in it.

[00:32:36] [SPEAKER_02]: He plays a bad guy.

[00:32:37] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a Yellowstone typey thing.

[00:32:39] [SPEAKER_02]: And then it was in 2019.

[00:32:42] [SPEAKER_02]: There's only one season.

[00:32:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know why there's, I think it got in the COVID mix up.

[00:32:46] [SPEAKER_02]: But, um, so that's it.

[00:32:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Updates.

[00:32:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's get it rolling.

[00:32:53] [SPEAKER_02]: And Adelvey was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars.

[00:32:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[00:32:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Your little friend.

[00:32:59] [SPEAKER_02]: And they, when they asked her, what did you learn from Dancing with the Stars?

[00:33:02] [SPEAKER_02]: She said, absolutely nothing.

[00:33:04] [SPEAKER_02]: You know, she's such a little asshole.

[00:33:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't.

[00:33:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, then convicted fraudster.

[00:33:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Stop using that term.

[00:33:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Just stop it.

[00:33:13] Yeah.

[00:33:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, I kind of got talked into doing this.

[00:33:17] [SPEAKER_02]: No, you didn't.

[00:33:17] [SPEAKER_02]: No, you didn't.

[00:33:18] [SPEAKER_02]: You, you begged.

[00:33:20] Mm-hmm.

[00:33:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I got the permission from the ice and then it was kind of too late to back out.

[00:33:24] Fuck.

[00:33:24] [SPEAKER_02]: No, you thought you were going to go the whole way and be a star.

[00:33:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:33:27] [SPEAKER_02]: And then, um.

[00:33:28] [SPEAKER_02]: You wanted the mirror ball.

[00:33:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh.

[00:33:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Whoopi Goldberg said it was ridiculous and I agree with Whoopi on that.

[00:33:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:33:36] I love it.

[00:33:36] [SPEAKER_02]: She said, I think back to all the families who've had family members arrested by ice who've gone

[00:33:39] [SPEAKER_02]: to the courts to get their dad or their brother and their mother.

[00:33:42] [SPEAKER_02]: And this woman, they gave her permission to go do this.

[00:33:45] Right.

[00:33:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Now, should I think there's a reason?

[00:33:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Is there a two-tiered system with ice?

[00:33:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Of course there is.

[00:33:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Of course there is.

[00:33:50] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a two-tiered system with everything.

[00:33:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Um.

[00:33:54] [SPEAKER_02]: She goes, well, while you're entitled to your own opinion, she should at least get your facts

[00:33:58] [SPEAKER_02]: straight.

[00:33:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I served my time and paid everyone back in full three years ago.

[00:34:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Looking forward to your on-air correction.

[00:34:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[00:34:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[00:34:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[00:34:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Because they had said she still owed people money.

[00:34:08] [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, God.

[00:34:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:34:10] [SPEAKER_02]: But she also said, this is this one.

[00:34:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I do not watch Dancing with the Stars.

[00:34:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Termite, you can fill me in.

[00:34:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Did she suck?

[00:34:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't really know.

[00:34:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I think Tori Spelling got eliminated too.

[00:34:20] [SPEAKER_02]: It was in the same week.

[00:34:21] [SPEAKER_02]: And that's the only reason I would know those things.

[00:34:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Tori Spelling is on this?

[00:34:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:34:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Dancing with the Stars.

[00:34:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes I can't, I swear to God, I do not know who's a dancer and who's a star.

[00:34:29] [SPEAKER_02]: We're so fucking out of people that like, I don't know.

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I liked that other show, So You Think You Can Dance, I think, where they, but those

[00:34:39] [SPEAKER_02]: weren't, yeah, they're real dancers.

[00:34:40] [SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't famous people.

[00:34:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Aaron Andrews was good on Dancing with the Stars.

[00:34:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Aaron Andrews was on Dancing with the Stars?

[00:34:46] [SPEAKER_02]: She did great.

[00:34:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I like Aaron Andrews.

[00:34:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:34:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but I mean, I listened to her podcast, but I'm not sure all dialed up that I would

[00:34:54] [SPEAKER_02]: know the difference between her and just a pretty dancer.

[00:34:56] [SPEAKER_04]: That's a compliment.

[00:34:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:34:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:35:01] [SPEAKER_02]: But you know, you don't have to listen to me.

[00:35:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a hundred.

[00:35:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:35:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm watching Jane Pauly because it goes slowly.

[00:35:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Hello.

[00:35:10] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[00:35:11] [SPEAKER_01]: No, it's CBS Sunday morning because Lewis put it on my recorder.

[00:35:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I can't get it off.

[00:35:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I can't get it off, but now I leave it on just to amuse and I have to watch it

[00:35:18] [SPEAKER_01]: to be able to talk to him about it.

[00:35:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm Jane Pauly.

[00:35:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Jane Pauly.

[00:35:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:35:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:35:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, uh, speaking of which, by the way, speaking of people of Jane Pauly's era, my friend, Connie

[00:35:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Chong, who I can't even believe I could say is my friend has written a book and I bought

[00:35:36] [SPEAKER_02]: it at the airport and she was on, I don't know what show.

[00:35:39] [SPEAKER_02]: It was one of those morning shows and she looks fabulous.

[00:35:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, I met her at a charity function.

[00:35:46] [SPEAKER_02]: What was it for cystic fibrosis?

[00:35:49] [SPEAKER_02]: We, every Louis and I did it every year for 20 years and it's like a three day event of

[00:35:53] [SPEAKER_02]: golf and drinking and comedy and all that shit.

[00:35:58] [SPEAKER_04]: She was a guest host on good morning America.

[00:36:01] [SPEAKER_02]: She won't.

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:36:03] [SPEAKER_02]: And she's not young and she looks fantastic.

[00:36:06] [SPEAKER_02]: She could do the news again right now, but her and I got into some red wine and she's

[00:36:11] [SPEAKER_02]: married to Mari Povich, right?

[00:36:13] [SPEAKER_02]: He's cool.

[00:36:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Mari was really cool.

[00:36:15] [SPEAKER_02]: He goes, none of these rich people know who I am.

[00:36:18] [SPEAKER_02]: He goes, you want to see something fantastic?

[00:36:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Come with me.

[00:36:20] [SPEAKER_02]: We walked into the kitchen.

[00:36:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Everybody went crazy.

[00:36:23] [SPEAKER_02]: The people, all the cooks and dishwashers are like, oh, no way.

[00:36:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Ah, he took a picture with every single one of them.

[00:36:29] [SPEAKER_02]: He's like, that's where my fans are.

[00:36:31] [SPEAKER_02]: They're in the kitchen.

[00:36:33] [SPEAKER_02]: And Connie just walks around and nobody even notices her.

[00:36:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, that's fucking Connie Chung.

[00:36:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I love her.

[00:36:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I ended up drinking with her all this red wine and Mari kept coming over and going

[00:36:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Con, you know, that's enough of that.

[00:36:46] [SPEAKER_02]: She's like, just go away, Mari.

[00:36:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Kathleen and I are having so much fun.

[00:36:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, exactly.

[00:36:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Get away, Mari.

[00:36:53] [SPEAKER_02]: We're having, I never meet like, it's always at a charity or a party.

[00:36:56] [SPEAKER_02]: It's always a fundraiser thing.

[00:36:57] [SPEAKER_02]: But I texted her.

[00:36:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, I woke up and saw you on the show.

[00:37:00] [SPEAKER_02]: She texted right back.

[00:37:02] [SPEAKER_02]: I said, I'm going to be in New York if you want to come to the show.

[00:37:04] [SPEAKER_02]: She's going on a book tour.

[00:37:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Mari's going.

[00:37:06] [SPEAKER_02]: She's, she said she's dragging the ball and chain.

[00:37:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I said, yeah, but he's a good substitute.

[00:37:10] [SPEAKER_02]: If you don't feel like going to your own book signing, send him.

[00:37:13] [SPEAKER_02]: She goes, I said a good second string.

[00:37:15] [SPEAKER_02]: She goes, adequate replacement.

[00:37:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my God.

[00:37:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, anyway.

[00:37:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Speaking to NBC news, Anna Dovey said, I feel that the show so obviously used me to drive up the ratings and they never had any plans to give me a chance to grow and only cared about exploiting me for attention.

[00:37:35] [SPEAKER_02]: She's a victim again, people.

[00:37:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Stop engaging.

[00:37:39] Oh, my God.

[00:37:40] [SPEAKER_02]: She called the show predatory.

[00:37:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, God.

[00:37:44] [SPEAKER_02]: It's predatory to make me feel inadequate and stupid while all I did was get progressively better and you choose to disregard that.

[00:37:51] [SPEAKER_02]: God, there's a spot for everybody.

[00:37:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Jesus.

[00:37:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Jesus.

[00:37:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, ice.

[00:37:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, guy got questions.

[00:37:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Ice.

[00:37:59] [SPEAKER_02]: I had to go spend $3,500 to get the guy who did, uh, uh, repairs on my house.

[00:38:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, Ramon out of a ice holding cell in Palm Springs, me and my friend Ron put together the money cause he got drunk when Mexico won the world cup and he shot a gun in the air.

[00:38:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, who has it?

[00:38:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, that's not a reason to deport him.

[00:38:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on.

[00:38:24] [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm saying ice.

[00:38:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:38:26] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what you did to my handyman who had five kids in this country.

[00:38:32] [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I know.

[00:38:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to get political.

[00:38:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just saying, why is she still here?

[00:38:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Good for you.

[00:38:39] [SPEAKER_02]: You went to prison for what you did.

[00:38:40] [SPEAKER_02]: You should have.

[00:38:40] [SPEAKER_02]: And now it's time to go home to Germany or whatever country you're lying about that you're from.

[00:38:47] [SPEAKER_04]: She'll be like a country in a Hallmark movie.

[00:38:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:38:50] [SPEAKER_02]: No, she's one of those made up Hallmark countries.

[00:38:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Blanclovia.

[00:38:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:38:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Blanclovia.

[00:38:56] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a wonderful prince who's a widow and has a 10 year old daughter who's dying for a mother.

[00:39:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[00:39:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Moving on to Miller Lite.

[00:39:06] [SPEAKER_02]: You're mixing.

[00:39:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I just mixed those.

[00:39:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:39:08] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't need a comment about that.

[00:39:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, update.

[00:39:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Update.

[00:39:14] [SPEAKER_02]: This is from my dad learning from my dad.

[00:39:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I keep telling everybody at Netflix, Ted Sarandos, Sarandos, however you say your name.

[00:39:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Sarandos.

[00:39:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Sarandos.

[00:39:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I think there's a D.

[00:39:27] Okay.

[00:39:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure.

[00:39:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, pay the baby reindeer lady.

[00:39:32] [SPEAKER_02]: I know.

[00:39:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Pay the lady.

[00:39:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:39:34] [SPEAKER_02]: You don't get it.

[00:39:36] [SPEAKER_02]: You're not listening.

[00:39:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Nope.

[00:39:38] [SPEAKER_02]: You're.

[00:39:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I know they have shit tons of money, but why just piss away money?

[00:39:42] Exactly.

[00:39:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Pay the lady.

[00:39:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, a judge says the case will go forward.

[00:39:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:39:48] [SPEAKER_02]: They tried to put up a thing saying, because they said it was a true story, blah, blah, blah.

[00:39:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I want to redo this though, because it's exactly.

[00:39:55] [SPEAKER_04]: They're going to end up paying more.

[00:39:57] [SPEAKER_04]: And because they're going to make an example of them.

[00:40:00] [SPEAKER_02]: You know?

[00:40:00] [SPEAKER_02]: This is, this is exactly what we've been saying.

[00:40:03] Okay.

[00:40:04] [SPEAKER_02]: The judge, it's Sarandos, here it is.

[00:40:08] [SPEAKER_02]: He recently dismissed the debate.

[00:40:10] [SPEAKER_02]: He, and he said it's, blah, blah, blah.

[00:40:13] [SPEAKER_02]: He's defending it.

[00:40:14] Okay.

[00:40:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, here's what the judge had to say.

[00:40:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Judge Klausner.

[00:40:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:40:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Defendants argue that a reasonable person would not understand that Martha is, in fact,

[00:40:24] [SPEAKER_02]: actual, is actual fact plaintiff.

[00:40:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Such that any statements about Martha would be plaintiff, he wrote about the Jessica Gunning

[00:40:32] [SPEAKER_02]: portrayed character and how much she is or isn't based on Fiona Harvey.

[00:40:36] Right.

[00:40:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:40:37] [SPEAKER_02]: In particular, defendants argue that the similarities between Martha and the plaintiff are so broad

[00:40:42] [SPEAKER_02]: that a reasonable person would not be able to identify her.

[00:40:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, the court disagrees.

[00:40:46] [SPEAKER_02]: This is not the typical case where a plaintiff happens to be one of a hundred people, of hundreds

[00:40:51] [SPEAKER_02]: of people that match a fictional character's broad characteristics, the federal judge goes

[00:40:55] [SPEAKER_02]: on to say.

[00:40:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Rather, this is what I've been saying.

[00:40:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Martha and plaintiff have specific similarities that few others could claim to share.

[00:41:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Specifically, Martha and plaintiff are both Scottish lawyers living in London, 20 years

[00:41:07] [SPEAKER_02]: older than Donnie Gad, whatever, accused of stalking a lawyer in a newspaper who communicated

[00:41:12] [SPEAKER_02]: with Danny Gad on social media.

[00:41:14] [SPEAKER_02]: While there may be numerous Scottish lawyers living in London of the same approximate age

[00:41:18] [SPEAKER_02]: as plaintiff, it's very likely that only plaintiff has been accused of stalking a lawyer in a newspaper article

[00:41:25] [SPEAKER_02]: while also communicating with him, Gad, on social media.

[00:41:29] [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.

[00:41:31] [SPEAKER_02]: So he goes on to say how it can...

[00:41:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's the thing.

[00:41:35] [SPEAKER_02]: And we've been waiting to find this out.

[00:41:37] [SPEAKER_02]: She never went to jail.

[00:41:38] What?

[00:41:39] Nope.

[00:41:40] Oh.

[00:41:40] [SPEAKER_02]: You know, we couldn't...

[00:41:41] Oh.

[00:41:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[00:41:43] [SPEAKER_02]: You said this is a true story.

[00:41:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Um...

[00:41:47] There...

[00:41:48] [SPEAKER_02]: You were so stupid.

[00:41:50] [SPEAKER_02]: He doesn't even mention that she's chubby.

[00:41:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Because I know that's a hot water...

[00:41:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:41:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:41:57] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a hot topic that you don't probably don't want to get...

[00:41:59] [SPEAKER_02]: He probably didn't want to put that, but just making her super skinny...

[00:42:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:42:05] [SPEAKER_02]: ...would have thrown people off.

[00:42:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.

[00:42:07] [SPEAKER_02]: And went, uh, well, no, that girl...

[00:42:09] [SPEAKER_04]: She looks the same.

[00:42:09] [SPEAKER_02]: She looks identical.

[00:42:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:42:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, they took no care.

[00:42:15] [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm pissed that he got all those awards.

[00:42:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm pissed he got all those awards, too.

[00:42:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:42:18] [SPEAKER_02]: And he got another deal.

[00:42:19] [SPEAKER_02]: It won't pan out.

[00:42:20] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:42:20] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the guy with the one idea.

[00:42:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I guarantee it.

[00:42:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I guarantee it.

[00:42:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:42:25] [SPEAKER_04]: And it's half made up.

[00:42:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:42:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Um...

[00:42:28] [SPEAKER_02]: She did not go to jail.

[00:42:30] [SPEAKER_02]: She was not found guilty.

[00:42:31] [SPEAKER_02]: He got a harassment, um, charge against her.

[00:42:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:42:36] [SPEAKER_02]: But that was it.

[00:42:37] Yeah.

[00:42:39] [SPEAKER_02]: If you said I went to jail and was convicted of stalking and I fucking didn't...

[00:42:43] Yeah.

[00:42:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, yeah.

[00:42:44] Right.

[00:42:45] [SPEAKER_02]: That is...

[00:42:46] [SPEAKER_02]: That's gonna cause some problems.

[00:42:48] [SPEAKER_02]: And you're gonna owe me a shit ton of money.

[00:42:49] [SPEAKER_02]: They're so stupid.

[00:42:51] Uh-huh.

[00:42:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe they were gonna try this one deal to see if they could get over the hump.

[00:42:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Um...

[00:42:56] It's ridiculous.

[00:42:56] [SPEAKER_02]: If they could stop it, and then they don't have to negotiate.

[00:42:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe now they'll negotiate.

[00:43:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe now they'll go, okay.

[00:43:03] Right.

[00:43:03] [SPEAKER_02]: You know.

[00:43:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Update!

[00:43:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I said, thank you to Chris from Canada, who's clearly an Oilers fan.

[00:43:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Cause on Twitter his thing has oiler in it.

[00:43:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Could be...

[00:43:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Could be a woman I never thought about.

[00:43:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Chris...

[00:43:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Chris as in Chris Kringle.

[00:43:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:43:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Just to tell all the turbines.

[00:43:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:43:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Cause the Big Arch sandwich from McDonald's is coming to America.

[00:43:26] [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.

[00:43:26] [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.

[00:43:26] [SPEAKER_02]: This is why I love Canadians too.

[00:43:28] [SPEAKER_02]: This is a very fair and balanced review of a sandwich.

[00:43:32] [SPEAKER_02]: It's just facts.

[00:43:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I like it.

[00:43:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I tried a McDonald's, Canada, hashtag Big Arch just for you Kathleen Madigan.

[00:43:39] [SPEAKER_02]: See?

[00:43:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Doing the work of the Lord.

[00:43:40] [SPEAKER_02]: This is what we need to keep this thing going.

[00:43:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:43:43] [SPEAKER_02]: It was...

[00:43:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Dot, dot, dot.

[00:43:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Fine?

[00:43:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Question mark?

[00:43:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Super filling.

[00:43:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[00:43:48] [SPEAKER_02]: See?

[00:43:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:43:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Questionable thing?

[00:43:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice thing?

[00:43:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:43:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Kind of a bad thing.

[00:43:52] [SPEAKER_02]: The sauce I liked.

[00:43:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Crispy onions I don't know about.

[00:43:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Patties and cheese?

[00:43:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Excellent.

[00:43:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll stick with my usual McDouble dressed like a Mac.

[00:44:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I wonder if I can get it dressed like an Arch.

[00:44:05] [SPEAKER_02]: His McDouble.

[00:44:06] His McDouble.

[00:44:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Dressed for Americans means whatever you want on it.

[00:44:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:44:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Good job.

[00:44:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Update!

[00:44:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Good job, Chris.

[00:44:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for trying the sandwich.

[00:44:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Pink Floyd just got $400 million from Sony for the rights to their song.

[00:44:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[00:44:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:44:22] [SPEAKER_04]: You only know one.

[00:44:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Huh?

[00:44:25] [SPEAKER_02]: The wall!

[00:44:26] [SPEAKER_01]: I know.

[00:44:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I passed out in a car.

[00:44:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even go into the concert.

[00:44:31] [SPEAKER_02]: No, seriously, Pink Floyd.

[00:44:33] [SPEAKER_02]: It's the first time I ever tried to smoke pot.

[00:44:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god.

[00:44:35] [SPEAKER_02]: And I don't work well with pot.

[00:44:37] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:44:37] [SPEAKER_02]: No, it's like an elephant gun.

[00:44:38] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like an elephant dart.

[00:44:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I just fell asleep in the back seat.

[00:44:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't really care though.

[00:44:42] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I only know that one song.

[00:44:43] [SPEAKER_02]: We don't need no education.

[00:44:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, just the sentence, we don't need no education.

[00:44:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if they meant to write it like that.

[00:44:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Like saying, yes, you do.

[00:44:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, you do need an education or you wouldn't have written that sentence.

[00:44:54] [SPEAKER_02]: But maybe that's why they wrote it.

[00:44:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, the irony.

[00:44:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:44:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Whatever.

[00:44:59] [SPEAKER_02]: They got $400 million.

[00:45:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Congratulations to them.

[00:45:01] Wow.

[00:45:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Update!

[00:45:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, the children.

[00:45:08] [SPEAKER_02]: These two look 21 if that.

[00:45:12] [SPEAKER_02]: That's to just stop oil children.

[00:45:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[00:45:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, they've been sentenced.

[00:45:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Good.

[00:45:17] [SPEAKER_02]: They're going to jail.

[00:45:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Two of them.

[00:45:21] I just don't get a believe it.

[00:45:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Wait till you see what happened after this though.

[00:45:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, Phoebe Plummer.

[00:45:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, here they are.

[00:45:27] [SPEAKER_02]: 23 and Anna Holland, 22 have been jailed at the Southwark Crown Court for two years and

[00:45:33] [SPEAKER_02]: 20 months respectively, respectively after being convicted of criminal activity when they

[00:45:37] [SPEAKER_02]: threw tomato soup over the iconic painting in 2022.

[00:45:41] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a Van Gogh painting called Poets and Lovers who completed in 1888.

[00:45:45] [SPEAKER_02]: And you're going to, yeah.

[00:45:47] [SPEAKER_04]: It makes me so mad.

[00:45:48] [SPEAKER_02]: It's worth up to 90 cents.

[00:45:49] [SPEAKER_02]: It was covered by glass, but the soup acted as a paint stripper to its frame and caused

[00:45:54] [SPEAKER_02]: $13,000 worth of damage.

[00:45:56] [SPEAKER_02]: They denied damaging it.

[00:45:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, why did you do it if you weren't going to damage it?

[00:46:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:46:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Of course you are.

[00:46:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, yeah.

[00:46:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Hold on.

[00:46:07] [SPEAKER_02]: They've already been in jail for two years and 20, two years.

[00:46:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[00:46:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Is this worth this?

[00:46:12] No.

[00:46:12] [SPEAKER_00]: No.

[00:46:13] [SPEAKER_00]: It's just not effective.

[00:46:15] No.

[00:46:16] [SPEAKER_02]: This is where like an older person needs to go into the children, perhaps a lawyer and

[00:46:21] [SPEAKER_02]: say, guys, you're not doing anything but hurting things that are valuable to all of

[00:46:26] [SPEAKER_02]: society.

[00:46:27] [SPEAKER_02]: You know, famous words of art and yourself.

[00:46:30] [SPEAKER_02]: It's history.

[00:46:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:46:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, um, uh, in July, um, five just stop oil activists were handed jail sentences ranging

[00:46:40] [SPEAKER_02]: from four to five years for conspiracy to cause public nuisance when they tried to recruit

[00:46:44] [SPEAKER_02]: volunteers to prefer.

[00:46:45] [SPEAKER_02]: These girls were given two more years.

[00:46:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's a little long.

[00:46:49] I don't.

[00:46:50] [SPEAKER_02]: I do.

[00:46:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Set an example.

[00:46:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Set an example.

[00:46:53] [SPEAKER_02]: God, Canada brings a hammer down.

[00:46:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.

[00:46:55] [SPEAKER_04]: It's not the death penalty.

[00:46:56] [SPEAKER_02]: The death penalty.

[00:46:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Jesus Christ.

[00:46:59] [SPEAKER_02]: It's soup.

[00:47:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Jesus Christ.

[00:47:03] [SPEAKER_04]: Um, that would be extreme.

[00:47:04] The death penalty.

[00:47:05] [SPEAKER_02]: The one, the girl said of her sentencing, I don't think that action like this fits the

[00:47:09] [SPEAKER_02]: black and white letter of the law.

[00:47:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:47:11] [SPEAKER_02]: You want the law change to fit your crime?

[00:47:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:47:14] [SPEAKER_02]: You want the law to adapt to your specific, not happening Phoebe.

[00:47:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Nope.

[00:47:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Phoebe.

[00:47:21] [SPEAKER_02]: God.

[00:47:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes morality is different from the law, different from justice, different from

[00:47:25] [SPEAKER_02]: . . .

[00:47:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Go write a paper on that.

[00:47:27] [SPEAKER_02]: You got two years.

[00:47:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's a pencil and a legal pad.

[00:47:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:47:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Send it to somebody who gives a shit.

[00:47:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Nobody cares.

[00:47:35] [SPEAKER_03]: Oh my God.

[00:47:37] [SPEAKER_02]: God.

[00:47:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[00:47:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:47:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Just hours after the news broke, cause I have this, this is, um, Lee on Twitter posted

[00:47:46] [SPEAKER_02]: this and it's true.

[00:47:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Un-fucking-believable.

[00:47:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Just Stop Oil have thrown soup over two, this is minutes after this came out.

[00:47:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:47:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Over, uh, two Van Gogh paintings.

[00:47:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Again, just hours after previous dipshits had been jailed for the same thing.

[00:48:01] [SPEAKER_02]: These arrogant narcissists can join their criminal mates in prison.

[00:48:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.

[00:48:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Absolute wankers.

[00:48:05] [SPEAKER_02]: This is clearly a British person, right?

[00:48:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Wankers.

[00:48:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Wankers.

[00:48:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.

[00:48:09] [SPEAKER_03]: Just Stop Oil wankers.

[00:48:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Just stop.

[00:48:14] [SPEAKER_02]: And you know what?

[00:48:15] [SPEAKER_02]: We can't just stop oil right now, you guys.

[00:48:17] [SPEAKER_02]: The whole world is dependent upon it.

[00:48:20] [SPEAKER_02]: We have to have a plan.

[00:48:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe you could get involved in the planning committee.

[00:48:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe, maybe, I don't know what it's going to be.

[00:48:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Run for office.

[00:48:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I flunked science.

[00:48:26] [SPEAKER_04]: Run for office.

[00:48:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Somebody told me potatoes could run stuff.

[00:48:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's get on that.

[00:48:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:48:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:48:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Google it.

[00:48:33] Okay.

[00:48:34] What?

[00:48:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I heard it.

[00:48:36] [SPEAKER_02]: That's kind of shit I say at a bar.

[00:48:37] [SPEAKER_02]: At a bar.

[00:48:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I heard potatoes could run stuff.

[00:48:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's throw it out there.

[00:48:40] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:48:43] [SPEAKER_04]: No.

[00:48:44] [SPEAKER_04]: That'll stop the hurricanes.

[00:48:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Potatoes.

[00:48:46] [SPEAKER_02]: And then my friend Mark will tell me a conspiracy theory about potatoes.

[00:48:50] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I'll be like, Mark, shut up.

[00:48:51] [SPEAKER_02]: We're two idiots sitting at a bar with 13 chicken wings.

[00:48:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Who's going to eat the 13th one?

[00:48:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Who's eating the last...

[00:48:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:48:58] [SPEAKER_02]: That's my pickleball battle, Pinky Tito.

[00:49:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he couldn't play the other night.

[00:49:03] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:49:03] [SPEAKER_02]: What happened?

[00:49:04] [SPEAKER_02]: His dog's sick.

[00:49:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Very sad.

[00:49:06] [SPEAKER_03]: Update!

[00:49:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Moving on.

[00:49:11] [SPEAKER_02]: So Sam Brakeman-Fried, who we've talked a lot about on this podcast, another fraudster

[00:49:16] [SPEAKER_02]: who basically just stole billions of dollars from people who invested in his crypto exchange.

[00:49:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:49:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank God I did do my research on my crypto exchanges before I gave crypto any money.

[00:49:26] [SPEAKER_02]: And I am with Coinbase.

[00:49:27] Well done.

[00:49:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.

[00:49:29] [SPEAKER_04]: It's very secure.

[00:49:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:49:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I've doubled my money.

[00:49:32] Nice.

[00:49:33] [SPEAKER_02]: At one point it was tripled.

[00:49:34] Really?

[00:49:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I don't know when I'm going to cash out.

[00:49:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to wait to see you after the election.

[00:49:39] Okay.

[00:49:40] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know how to be affected.

[00:49:41] Excellent.

[00:49:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, Sam Brakeman-Fried's girlfriend was sentenced to two years in her role for the

[00:49:52] [SPEAKER_02]: crypto fraud.

[00:49:52] [SPEAKER_02]: You know.

[00:49:53] [SPEAKER_02]: He got 25 years.

[00:49:54] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's rich enough like Elizabeth Holmes and the parents are rich.

[00:49:58] [SPEAKER_02]: It'll probably go down to 12.

[00:49:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:49:59] [SPEAKER_02]: She's already knocked two years off for good behavior.

[00:50:01] [SPEAKER_02]: What's good behavior?

[00:50:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:50:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Not doing bad shit?

[00:50:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:50:04] [SPEAKER_02]: That should be the expectation.

[00:50:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:50:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Show me that you've actually did somehow progressed something in this prison.

[00:50:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:50:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Did you teach a class?

[00:50:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:50:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Did you?

[00:50:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Really?

[00:50:15] [SPEAKER_02]: No, he's a narcissist.

[00:50:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, she is too, but...

[00:50:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[00:50:19] [SPEAKER_02]: She's crazy.

[00:50:20] [SPEAKER_02]: She did a plea deal, but she cooperated big time with the government to get him.

[00:50:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[00:50:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so that's why she only got two years.

[00:50:25] [SPEAKER_02]: So she'll be out in a year.

[00:50:27] [SPEAKER_02]: So she was not in love.

[00:50:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't worry.

[00:50:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Was she in love?

[00:50:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:50:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know who's capable of love anymore.

[00:50:34] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, that's a big statement.

[00:50:36] [SPEAKER_02]: There's just a lot of people using each other.

[00:50:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:50:38] [SPEAKER_02]: For different weird reasons.

[00:50:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Why?

[00:50:40] [SPEAKER_02]: She was facing a maximum sentence of 55 times when she was given.

[00:50:44] [SPEAKER_02]: She was facing 110 years.

[00:50:45] [SPEAKER_02]: That's how much she cooperated.

[00:50:46] Uh-huh.

[00:50:46] [SPEAKER_02]: That's a big deal.

[00:50:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Cool for you.

[00:50:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:50:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Caroline.

[00:50:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:50:50] [SPEAKER_02]: But you ran on it.

[00:50:52] Mm-hmm.

[00:50:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Dude, sometimes the partners of these people are going,

[00:50:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I had no idea what he'd be doing on the computer all day.

[00:50:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Really?

[00:50:58] [SPEAKER_02]: You didn't notice that all of a sudden you have 17 homes?

[00:51:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:51:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Globally?

[00:51:01] [SPEAKER_02]: And a private jet?

[00:51:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I wouldn't even get on it.

[00:51:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I would have been the worst mob wife ever.

[00:51:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Cause I'd have been, show me what's in the trunk.

[00:51:08] [SPEAKER_02]: You're mouthy.

[00:51:08] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not getting, no, yeah, I'm too mouthy.

[00:51:10] [SPEAKER_02]: You can't have an Irish, no.

[00:51:12] [SPEAKER_02]: The Irish women are not, or a Mexican woman.

[00:51:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Nope.

[00:51:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Nope.

[00:51:16] [SPEAKER_02]: What the fuck is in the trunk?

[00:51:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:51:19] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not getting in the car.

[00:51:20] [SPEAKER_02]: What's in the trunk?

[00:51:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Until you show me what's in the trunk.

[00:51:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Why is there blood and you said you hit a deer and there's no deer?

[00:51:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Why, what is that?

[00:51:26] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:51:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Cause I don't want to be part and parcel.

[00:51:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to aid and abet.

[00:51:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:51:30] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:51:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Not that they would ever, you know, I don't really know any mobsters.

[00:51:36] [SPEAKER_02]: My dad did.

[00:51:37] [SPEAKER_02]: My grandpa did.

[00:51:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:51:39] [SPEAKER_02]: They, my grandpa was the oldie new safe crackers.

[00:51:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Whoa.

[00:51:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:51:42] [SPEAKER_02]: This one guy had been to prison twice.

[00:51:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Little whitey.

[00:51:45] [SPEAKER_02]: His name was.

[00:51:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Little whitey.

[00:51:47] [SPEAKER_05]: Wow.

[00:51:47] [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.

[00:51:47] [SPEAKER_02]: He was really fucking good at it.

[00:51:49] [SPEAKER_02]: He could bust any bank safe back in the day when it was like, yeah, that was his job.

[00:51:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Safe crackers.

[00:51:56] Safe crackers.

[00:51:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:51:57] [SPEAKER_02]: You never know it when you see those little old men in lawn chairs smoking a cig.

[00:52:01] [SPEAKER_02]: That guy was been to prison twice.

[00:52:03] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's here.

[00:52:04] [SPEAKER_02]: He is in the backyard at my grandpa's.

[00:52:05] [SPEAKER_02]: What's up little whitey?

[00:52:07] [SPEAKER_02]: And he made moonshine.

[00:52:08] [SPEAKER_02]: He had it in his trunk.

[00:52:09] [SPEAKER_02]: My dad goes, whatever you do, do not drink anything in his trunk.

[00:52:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, what?

[00:52:12] [SPEAKER_02]: What are you talking about?

[00:52:14] [SPEAKER_02]: He brought it to my grandpa's wake.

[00:52:15] [SPEAKER_02]: He was out in the parking lot with the, with the moonshine.

[00:52:17] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, yeah, I got something.

[00:52:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I really like, I remember you when you were little and.

[00:52:21] [SPEAKER_03]: Irish moonshine.

[00:52:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:52:22] [SPEAKER_02]: And like little whitey, I ain't drinking any of this shit.

[00:52:25] [SPEAKER_02]: This is not how I'm going to die.

[00:52:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Great news is we're already at a funeral parlor if I do die.

[00:52:29] [SPEAKER_02]: You just put me right back in there.

[00:52:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Update.

[00:52:34] [SPEAKER_02]: The American horror story for house in New Orleans sold.

[00:52:38] [SPEAKER_03]: Whoa.

[00:52:38] [SPEAKER_02]: They won't say how much.

[00:52:39] [SPEAKER_02]: It was listed for 4.5 million.

[00:52:42] [SPEAKER_02]: It was built in 1856.

[00:52:45] [SPEAKER_02]: It's asking price.

[00:52:46] [SPEAKER_02]: They lowered it.

[00:52:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, prior to closing, it was asking 3.988 million, but the final sale, somebody bought

[00:52:51] [SPEAKER_02]: it.

[00:52:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't wait to walk by next time.

[00:52:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Next time I'm down there and go see if anybody's actually living in it.

[00:52:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I would be terrified.

[00:52:59] You're going to be there in the spring.

[00:53:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I know I'm going to be in New Orleans at the joy theater.

[00:53:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[00:53:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Joy theater.

[00:53:04] Nice.

[00:53:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, update.

[00:53:07] [SPEAKER_02]: And then we're done with updates.

[00:53:08] [SPEAKER_02]: This is so great.

[00:53:10] Okay.

[00:53:11] [SPEAKER_02]: So one of the best podcasts I've ever listened to compliments of my podcast research beagle

[00:53:16] [SPEAKER_02]: and friend and very funny comedian Kelly McFarlane, a queen.

[00:53:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I would say she's a princess of the Northeast.

[00:53:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:53:25] [SPEAKER_02]: This is a Midwest princess.

[00:53:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Kelly is the Northeast princess.

[00:53:28] [SPEAKER_02]: She's a, she always tells me.

[00:53:31] [SPEAKER_02]: They prefer, um, they prefer new England princess.

[00:53:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:53:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:53:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:53:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:53:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Midwest people never understood any of that.

[00:53:39] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[00:53:40] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't understand the new England Patriots.

[00:53:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought, Oh, they all share a team.

[00:53:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't understand.

[00:53:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought all those States are so little.

[00:53:46] [SPEAKER_02]: They just get one team and that includes Delaware and Vermont.

[00:53:49] [SPEAKER_02]: I just put it all.

[00:53:50] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't understand.

[00:53:51] [SPEAKER_02]: It was mostly Boston.

[00:53:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I think she actually, the queen of new England.

[00:53:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I think so.

[00:53:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:53:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't think of anybody else that's doing it right now.

[00:53:59] [SPEAKER_02]: That's funnier, but I also haven't seen a lot of people.

[00:54:01] [SPEAKER_02]: So I don't know.

[00:54:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:54:03] [SPEAKER_04]: Submission's open.

[00:54:05] [SPEAKER_02]: So she tells me what podcasts to listen to when there's long road drives ahead.

[00:54:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm hmm.

[00:54:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Scamanda.

[00:54:12] Oh, so good.

[00:54:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Like Amanda, except scam in front of it.

[00:54:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Scamanda.

[00:54:16] [SPEAKER_02]: We'll put it in the schnotes.

[00:54:17] [SPEAKER_02]: This lady faked to a whole town that she had cancer numerous times.

[00:54:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Stole all this money.

[00:54:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, um, Scamanda docu-series based on podcasts set for fall at ABC.

[00:54:30] [SPEAKER_02]: But, but then when I hear ABC, I'm like old school network.

[00:54:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:54:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I'd rather it be Amazon or Netflix, but you would always rather it be Amazon.

[00:54:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I would always rather the last special Amazon gave me.

[00:54:49] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought they probably just looked at my account and went, she'll just spend it all back with us.

[00:54:53] [SPEAKER_02]: And it's not like I don't get Dave Chappelle money.

[00:54:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I get enough to do what I need to do and then spend some advertising money and call it an ad.

[00:55:00] [SPEAKER_02]: That's basically it.

[00:55:01] [SPEAKER_02]: But in a great way, they're great to work with.

[00:55:03] [SPEAKER_02]: But I bet they do look at my account and go, she loves us.

[00:55:06] [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.

[00:55:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:55:07] [SPEAKER_02]: And I pay for prime.

[00:55:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.

[00:55:10] Good girl.

[00:55:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, Scamanda tells the story of Amanda Riley, a wife, a mother, blogger, and Christian.

[00:55:16] [SPEAKER_02]: It's the Christian part because she tricks the churches.

[00:55:18] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not just local fundraisers and shit whose tragic cancer tale captivates thousands.

[00:55:24] [SPEAKER_02]: But Amanda had a secret that she's dying to keep.

[00:55:26] [SPEAKER_02]: And after an anonymous tip to an investigative reporter, her own words may prove to be her downfall.

[00:55:38] [SPEAKER_02]: This is, oh, I got it too.

[00:55:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Holy shit, they found it.

[00:55:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Why are these news things in the way of my holy shit, they found it?

[00:55:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:55:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Cause I got quite a few.

[00:55:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I gotta save a couple, I think.

[00:55:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Holy shit, they found it.

[00:55:49] [SPEAKER_02]: This is amazeballs.

[00:55:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, this is in White Plains.

[00:55:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I assume that's White Plains in New York.

[00:55:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:55:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:56:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, right.

[00:56:01] [SPEAKER_04]: And her, um, husband can.

[00:56:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Right, there's an airport there.

[00:56:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:56:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even know that.

[00:56:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:56:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Is that North Dakota?

[00:56:11] [SPEAKER_04]: No, it's an airport.

[00:56:13] [SPEAKER_02]: And it's public.

[00:56:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, is it private?

[00:56:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Bless her.

[00:56:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Why have I never heard of it?

[00:56:17] [SPEAKER_04]: Bless her.

[00:56:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Some people have a cluttered attic, basement or garage.

[00:56:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Others have boxes of paper from high school or college it should be gone through

[00:56:25] [SPEAKER_02]: to sift memories from amid the junk.

[00:56:28] [SPEAKER_02]: So they've got nothing on an old house in Edmonton, North Carolina.

[00:56:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Once the home of the state's governor after the Revolutionary War, where two of our nation's

[00:56:38] [SPEAKER_02]: founding documents were found decades apart.

[00:56:41] [SPEAKER_02]: In 19...

[00:56:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Wait, wait.

[00:56:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Wait.

[00:56:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's where the story's coming out of.

[00:56:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, okay.

[00:56:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:56:47] [SPEAKER_04]: It's written out there, but...

[00:56:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's a White Plains document dealer, says the site.

[00:56:53] [SPEAKER_02]: You gotta...

[00:56:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:56:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Slow down, paddles.

[00:56:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm trying to help.

[00:56:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm trying to be like Jane Pauly and give you a nice CBS Sunday morning story.

[00:57:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Ooh!

[00:57:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I know.

[00:57:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I know.

[00:57:02] [SPEAKER_02]: It's gotta go faster.

[00:57:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I love that.

[00:57:03] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I would say to CBS.

[00:57:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Or, like I do with the cats, I would put catnip in everybody who's gonna do a story on

[00:57:10] [SPEAKER_02]: CBS Sunday morning and they wouldn't know it, and then all of a sudden everything would

[00:57:13] [SPEAKER_02]: get a little zippier.

[00:57:15] Coca!

[00:57:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Coca!

[00:57:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's get this show, this whole fucking hour could have been done in 12 minutes.

[00:57:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's go!

[00:57:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god.

[00:57:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god.

[00:57:24] [SPEAKER_02]: In 1983, a copy of the Declaration of Independence was found at Hayes Farm.

[00:57:30] [SPEAKER_02]: It sold for $412,000.

[00:57:33] [SPEAKER_02]: You would think it would be more than that.

[00:57:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not gonna go through the Constitution's history.

[00:57:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I just can't.

[00:57:38] [SPEAKER_02]: It's too hard.

[00:57:39] What is she not?

[00:57:40] [SPEAKER_02]: It's too hard.

[00:57:42] [SPEAKER_02]: These people found a copy of the original Constitution in their home.

[00:57:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, what do you, what do you, what do you want to get for that?

[00:57:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, that's crazy.

[00:57:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Where is the, I just want to see the story part.

[00:57:57] [SPEAKER_02]: See, first, a bit of history.

[00:57:58] [SPEAKER_02]: That's exactly how CBS Sunday morning would do it.

[00:58:00] [SPEAKER_02]: We're all like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[00:58:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[00:58:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, anyway, they found a copy.

[00:58:06] [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.

[00:58:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Signed Constitution to hit the auction block.

[00:58:10] Okay.

[00:58:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I will let you know as an update, termites.

[00:58:14] [SPEAKER_02]: This, these people, painting found by junk dealers in cellar is an original Picasso.

[00:58:21] What?

[00:58:22] [SPEAKER_02]: A painting that was found by a junk dealer while he was cleaning out the cellar of a home in Capri, Italy.

[00:58:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[00:58:28] [SPEAKER_02]: And was regularly just decried by his wife as horrible, the lady hated the painting, is an original portrait by Pablo Picasso, Italian experts have claimed.

[00:58:36] [SPEAKER_02]: He stumbled upon that cross of painting in 1962.

[00:58:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Luigi La Russa took the rolled up canvas home with him to Pompeii, uh, Pompeii.

[00:58:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[00:58:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Where he hung it in a cheap frame on the living room wall for the next few decades.

[00:58:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, no.

[00:58:51] [SPEAKER_02]: The portrait now believed to be by its owners to be, which is now believed to be by its owners a distorted image of Dora Marr, a French photographer and painter who was Picasso's mistress and muse.

[00:59:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, but La Russa didn't know who he was.

[00:59:05] [SPEAKER_02]: It was only much later when his son, Andrea, started to ask him questions and study in an encyclopedia of art history given to him by his aunt.

[00:59:13] [SPEAKER_02]: The family eventually sought the team of experts and they were all like, yeah, this lady, there's a picture of a lady sitting below it.

[00:59:20] [SPEAKER_02]: She's the one that thought it was too ugly to even hang up in the house and then told people isn't that the ugliest shit you've ever seen when they would come to the house.

[00:59:28] Oh, my God.

[00:59:30] [SPEAKER_02]: The guy, the son is 60 years old.

[00:59:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Good for him.

[00:59:37] [SPEAKER_02]: His mom didn't want to keep it.

[00:59:38] [SPEAKER_02]: She just kept saying it was horrible.

[00:59:39] [SPEAKER_02]: It's ugly as shit.

[00:59:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, he contacted the Picasso foundation in Italy several times, but he said it showed no interest in examining his claims.

[00:59:50] [SPEAKER_02]: They thought it was fake.

[00:59:51] [SPEAKER_02]: The foundation has the ultimate word and now they have to admit that.

[00:59:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Picasso didn't die till 1973.

[00:59:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Isn't that crazy?

[00:59:58] [SPEAKER_02]: He produced more than 14,000 works in his life.

[01:00:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I wonder how many are still missing.

[01:00:06] [SPEAKER_02]: An Antonio Banderas movie.

[01:00:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Didn't he play Picasso?

[01:00:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I think he did play Picasso.

[01:00:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:00:10] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't think, I think it was on like, um.

[01:00:12] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a good movie.

[01:00:13] [SPEAKER_02]: But it was on like, not, what, PBS.

[01:00:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I think it was on PBS.

[01:00:19] [SPEAKER_02]: I think.

[01:00:25] [SPEAKER_02]: We're moving on to news.

[01:00:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Well.

[01:00:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Genius.

[01:00:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Genius.

[01:00:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they did Einstein too.

[01:00:40] [SPEAKER_02]: And Jeffrey Rush played Einstein and he was fucking great.

[01:00:44] Where can you find it?

[01:00:45] [SPEAKER_02]: PBS.

[01:00:47] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a Nat Geo.

[01:00:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, a Nat Geo thing.

[01:00:49] [SPEAKER_02]: I love those things.

[01:00:50] [SPEAKER_04]: It's available on.

[01:00:54] [SPEAKER_04]: It's on.

[01:00:55] [SPEAKER_03]: It's on.

[01:00:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's a headline for you.

[01:00:59] [SPEAKER_04]: Are we moving on to news?

[01:01:00] [SPEAKER_02]: We're in news.

[01:01:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:01:01] [SPEAKER_02]: My daughter would have been dead by now when a monkey attack in UP.

[01:01:07] What?

[01:01:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Just listen.

[01:01:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[01:01:10] [SPEAKER_02]: These monkeys stopped a rape of a six year old girl.

[01:01:14] What?

[01:01:15] Yeah.

[01:01:16] [SPEAKER_02]: A guy was going to rape a six year old girl.

[01:01:17] [SPEAKER_02]: A man?

[01:01:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God.

[01:01:18] [SPEAKER_02]: A man.

[01:01:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:01:19] [SPEAKER_02]: The monkeys weren't going to rape her.

[01:01:20] No.

[01:01:21] [SPEAKER_02]: But this is a termite sent this to me saying, see, sometimes monkeys are good.

[01:01:26] Okay.

[01:01:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:01:27] [SPEAKER_02]: A troop of monkeys.

[01:01:29] [SPEAKER_02]: This is in Bagpat.

[01:01:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know where that is.

[01:01:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it's India.

[01:01:35] [SPEAKER_02]: India.

[01:01:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:01:36] [SPEAKER_02]: A troop of monkeys intervened to save a six year old girl from a rape attempt.

[01:01:39] I thought you meant the UP.

[01:01:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:01:41] [SPEAKER_02]: The upper peninsula of Michigan.

[01:01:42] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a pack of monkeys and there was a girl that was outside when it was four degrees

[01:01:47] [SPEAKER_02]: and...

[01:01:47] [SPEAKER_02]: We need a geography lesson.

[01:01:49] [SPEAKER_02]: We do.

[01:01:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Today's bad on geography.

[01:01:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:01:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know where it's bag fat.

[01:01:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:02:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:02:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:02:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:02:19] [SPEAKER_02]: When a few monkeys aggressively rushed at him, forcing him to leave the minor and flee.

[01:02:23] [SPEAKER_02]: See?

[01:02:24] [SPEAKER_02]: They're not all bad gangs of monkeys.

[01:02:26] [SPEAKER_02]: If you feed them, now they are going to dominate.

[01:02:30] Yeah.

[01:02:30] [SPEAKER_02]: As I would say, the cats here dominate.

[01:02:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:02:33] [SPEAKER_02]: And now Cedric.

[01:02:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Cedric's here every day now.

[01:02:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh no.

[01:02:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I know.

[01:02:37] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:02:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to capture him though because there's something wrong with his eyes.

[01:02:40] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to take him up to Curtis.

[01:02:42] [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to need more greenies.

[01:02:43] [SPEAKER_02]: And he loves greenies and he likes wet food and they don't.

[01:02:47] [SPEAKER_02]: So it's good.

[01:02:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I have all this wet food that I bought and they won't eat it.

[01:02:50] He's starving.

[01:02:51] That's why.

[01:02:51] [SPEAKER_02]: He is starving.

[01:02:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I know.

[01:02:52] [SPEAKER_02]: But he has a nice house and then he lounges on pool furniture.

[01:02:56] Wow.

[01:02:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:02:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I forgot.

[01:02:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I got home the other night and he was just patiently sitting by the door.

[01:03:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, can I have some food?

[01:03:03] [SPEAKER_02]: So food?

[01:03:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, just praying for...

[01:03:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, oh my God, this is hard.

[01:03:06] [SPEAKER_02]: But he won't.

[01:03:06] [SPEAKER_02]: You can't get near him right now.

[01:03:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Please don't send me cat advice.

[01:03:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm working on it.

[01:03:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Just it's a work in progress, people.

[01:03:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm doing what I can.

[01:03:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Doing the work of the Lord, one cat at a time.

[01:03:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Aubrey will do it.

[01:03:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[01:03:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Aubrey will make friends with him faster than I will.

[01:03:20] Yep.

[01:03:21] [SPEAKER_02]: She's a wonderful person and also the person who takes care of the cats when I walk.

[01:03:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, uh, my daughter would be dead by now if the monkeys had not intervened.

[01:03:30] [SPEAKER_02]: We hear about incidents.

[01:03:32] [SPEAKER_02]: We heard about the incident involving monkeys and we're investigating into the matters.

[01:03:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, the parents are very grateful to the monkeys.

[01:03:38] [SPEAKER_02]: So you should feed them a shit ton as a present for saying thank you.

[01:03:42] [SPEAKER_02]: My kid didn't get raped.

[01:03:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Speaking of animals, scientists are trying to learn about cat pain and they have cats

[01:03:50] [SPEAKER_02]: wearing adorable crocheted hats.

[01:03:52] [SPEAKER_02]: And first of all, yes, they're so cute.

[01:03:55] [SPEAKER_02]: They have these little crocheted hats.

[01:03:57] [SPEAKER_02]: They have room for their ears to pop out.

[01:03:58] [SPEAKER_02]: And then they have like things on them, you know, like those sensors.

[01:04:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:04:03] [SPEAKER_02]: A termite scent is.

[01:04:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Google cats and hats and you'll be met with them.

[01:04:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, you're going to be met with a long list of kittens donning baseball caps, bonnets,

[01:04:11] [SPEAKER_02]: bowlers, tiaras, and you name it.

[01:04:13] [SPEAKER_02]: But the first of its kind study out of the University of Montreal fitted cats with a specifically

[01:04:18] [SPEAKER_02]: crocheted electrode containing cap to assess levels of stress and pain caused by the chronic

[01:04:22] [SPEAKER_02]: condition osteoarthritis.

[01:04:25] [SPEAKER_02]: That guy said that right.

[01:04:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:04:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Additionally, the cap will allow researchers to better understand how their feline subjects

[01:04:30] [SPEAKER_02]: responded to soothing elements, uh, introduced to ease their discomfort.

[01:04:34] [SPEAKER_02]: 25% of cats worldwide have it.

[01:04:37] [SPEAKER_02]: It increases with age.

[01:04:38] [SPEAKER_02]: It's arthritis basically.

[01:04:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, currently treatments other than non-steroid animal anti-inflammatory drugs are limited.

[01:04:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Most of those treatments also cause negative side effects.

[01:04:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Thus must be used with caution to analyze what occurs naturally, uh, occurs neurologically

[01:04:55] [SPEAKER_02]: in cats with the condition scientists use the test and a little crocheted hat and then

[01:04:59] [SPEAKER_02]: they can work on it.

[01:05:00] [SPEAKER_02]: So good for science.

[01:05:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's find a drug that's not a steroid if possible because there are a lot of side

[01:05:06] [SPEAKER_02]: effects.

[01:05:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, here's a shout out to crazy people.

[01:05:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God.

[01:05:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Mirka.

[01:05:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Mirka.

[01:05:17] [SPEAKER_02]: First of all, go back to my old joke.

[01:05:21] [SPEAKER_02]: If the end of the world happens, my mom says we're all meeting at the cabin and I do

[01:05:25] [SPEAKER_02]: a joke about that.

[01:05:26] The cabin?

[01:05:27] [SPEAKER_02]: We have a hunting cabin in Missouri out in Decay.

[01:05:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm won't.

[01:05:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Doesn't matter where.

[01:05:32] [SPEAKER_02]: It's in the woods.

[01:05:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:05:34] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a little meth-y.

[01:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: The cabin?

[01:05:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, the cabin's not meth-y.

[01:05:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Getting to the cabin is a tad meth-y.

[01:05:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't know that I'd spend the night out there by myself.

[01:05:43] [SPEAKER_00]: We make meth in our cabin.

[01:05:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, there's people out there on a gravel road doing weird shit.

[01:05:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I know that.

[01:05:49] [SPEAKER_02]: And I know.

[01:05:50] [SPEAKER_02]: And then there's Donald the donkey man.

[01:05:52] [SPEAKER_02]: He sells donkeys.

[01:05:53] [SPEAKER_02]: He's real nice.

[01:05:54] [SPEAKER_02]: The girls love him.

[01:05:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[01:05:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:05:57] [SPEAKER_02]: He'll let you come and that is donkeys and all that.

[01:06:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, I don't want to survive the end of the world.

[01:06:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay?

[01:06:06] Okay.

[01:06:06] [SPEAKER_02]: If there's a doomsday event, I just want to go with the group.

[01:06:10] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to be left behind.

[01:06:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I've never heard a scenario where it sounds fun.

[01:06:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:06:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, the doomsday crowd.

[01:06:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, because my mom always used to say if there's going to be an event where the world's

[01:06:25] [SPEAKER_02]: going to end, we're all going to meet.

[01:06:27] [SPEAKER_02]: And then what?

[01:06:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Lived in the hunting cabin forever with all nine of us?

[01:06:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:06:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Plus all their flipping kids now?

[01:06:34] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:06:35] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:06:35] [SPEAKER_02]: What a horrible one.

[01:06:36] [SPEAKER_02]: And then, no.

[01:06:37] [SPEAKER_02]: You could think that through, Mom.

[01:06:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[01:06:40] [SPEAKER_02]: And then who are they?

[01:06:41] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:06:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Just no.

[01:06:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, Costco.

[01:06:45] [SPEAKER_02]: This is how...

[01:06:45] [SPEAKER_02]: So there used to be a show called Doomsday Preppers.

[01:06:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:06:48] [SPEAKER_02]: And what was amazing to me is those people always found a partner.

[01:06:51] Mm-hmm.

[01:06:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Whether they married him or not, I don't know.

[01:06:53] [SPEAKER_02]: They always had a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

[01:06:55] [SPEAKER_02]: They always had a partner of some sort.

[01:06:56] [SPEAKER_02]: How did you even find that person?

[01:06:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, what did you put on Bumble?

[01:07:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:07:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Interest?

[01:07:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Preparing for the end of the world?

[01:07:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, fuck me too.

[01:07:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I love hoarding canned goods.

[01:07:06] [SPEAKER_02]: This is so great.

[01:07:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's get together.

[01:07:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Where do you shop for your space food that's only going to last two years?

[01:07:12] Oh, my God.

[01:07:13] Oh, man.

[01:07:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, this is how many of them there are now.

[01:07:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Costco is expanding its Doomsday line with a new product after the gold, after gold bar demand

[01:07:26] [SPEAKER_02]: exploded with customers spending $200 million in a month buying gold bars.

[01:07:35] [SPEAKER_02]: This is me and my dad used to talk about this shit when we would go fishing.

[01:07:39] [SPEAKER_02]: We like logical things.

[01:07:41] [SPEAKER_02]: The logic of this, what are you going to do with your gold bar?

[01:07:45] [SPEAKER_02]: How's it going to help you live?

[01:07:47] [SPEAKER_02]: You're going to have to find someone who will give you something for your gold bar.

[01:07:50] [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to get down to the barter and trade system.

[01:07:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I think you'd be better off with chickens.

[01:07:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Like if you're going to start hoarding shit, animals that produce food.

[01:08:00] [SPEAKER_02]: And instead of, oh, I got gold bars and 18,000 cans of tomato soup.

[01:08:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, you're going to run out of that.

[01:08:06] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not going to make more soup.

[01:08:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Guess what that chicken will do?

[01:08:09] [SPEAKER_02]: There's going to...

[01:08:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on now.

[01:08:13] [SPEAKER_02]: The wholesale realtor is now selling bars of platinum

[01:08:16] [SPEAKER_02]: after their one ounce gold bar sold out in a few hours when they went on sale last year.

[01:08:20] [SPEAKER_02]: So now they have a platinum bar that's...

[01:08:25] [SPEAKER_02]: That can't be right.

[01:08:26] [SPEAKER_04]: This sounds like a Tucker Carlson thing.

[01:08:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, Newsmax and Tucker...

[01:08:31] [SPEAKER_02]: They're the same ones who told them there's going to be a dock worker strike.

[01:08:34] [SPEAKER_02]: And my sister, Mary Ellen, was in a Costco or a Sam's or whatever and was like,

[01:08:38] [SPEAKER_02]: uh-oh, I guess they're all afraid of the dock worker.

[01:08:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Everything was gone.

[01:08:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Because of...

[01:08:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Who's pushing this narrative?

[01:08:44] [SPEAKER_02]: They're not going to let a dock worker strike go on and on and on.

[01:08:47] [SPEAKER_02]: They're going to say, look, just keep working.

[01:08:50] [SPEAKER_02]: We'll figure this out by January.

[01:08:51] [SPEAKER_02]: And they did.

[01:08:52] [SPEAKER_02]: That's exactly what they did.

[01:08:53] [SPEAKER_02]: But the panic that...

[01:08:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I don't see it.

[01:08:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know where...

[01:08:58] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not on the Weather Channel.

[01:08:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Nobody's saying this shit on the Weather Channel.

[01:09:01] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I like.

[01:09:02] [SPEAKER_02]: And nobody's saying it on ESPN.

[01:09:04] [SPEAKER_02]: And nobody's saying it on my local news.

[01:09:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Because I can't watch the rest of them anymore.

[01:09:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Any of them.

[01:09:09] [SPEAKER_02]: But I do have a feeling when it's a panic thing, I do think that's Newsmax or Tucker.

[01:09:15] [SPEAKER_02]: And that's because I know my friend Mark tells me everything Tucker says.

[01:09:18] [SPEAKER_02]: And I...

[01:09:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I know we have to just get it out of the way.

[01:09:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Mark, what did Tucker say this week?

[01:09:24] [SPEAKER_02]: What bothers you the most?

[01:09:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Out of the 15 things bugging you, let's narrow it down.

[01:09:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Serve the ball, Mark.

[01:09:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[01:09:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[01:09:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Serve the ball, Pinky.

[01:09:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Pinky Tito, that's your ball.

[01:09:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not getting that.

[01:09:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Um...

[01:09:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh...

[01:09:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Described as 999.5 platinum, this bar.

[01:09:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[01:09:44] [SPEAKER_02]: It costs $1,089.99.

[01:09:47] Oh, my God.

[01:09:48] [SPEAKER_02]: What are you going to do with this?

[01:09:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Correct.

[01:09:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Even if the world ends?

[01:09:51] It's bizarre.

[01:09:51] [SPEAKER_02]: What if it's aliens that ruin everything?

[01:09:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Are you going to...

[01:09:54] [SPEAKER_02]: And they come and take over.

[01:09:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Are you going to hand them over your fucking Costco platinum bar and go...

[01:10:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Give me your platinum card.

[01:10:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I do not want your platinum.

[01:10:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.

[01:10:05] [SPEAKER_02]: My alien voice is also my Stevie voice.

[01:10:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Stevie voice.

[01:10:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:10:08] [SPEAKER_05]: I know.

[01:10:08] Yeah.

[01:10:09] [SPEAKER_02]: So far, the bar is only sold online.

[01:10:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Delivery is currently unavailable in multiple U.S. locations, including Louisiana and Nevada.

[01:10:21] [SPEAKER_02]: The rollout of the precious metals has been a hit with Costco shoppers since the store

[01:10:25] [SPEAKER_02]: first had trouble keeping the beloved gold bars on the shelves.

[01:10:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:10:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Do you know how much I would fucking kill my mom if she came home from Costco with a gold

[01:10:34] [SPEAKER_02]: bar?

[01:10:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:10:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Because when people get older...

[01:10:36] [SPEAKER_02]: And no money for...

[01:10:37] [SPEAKER_02]: She hasn't gone down any of those roads, but she did tell me the other day when I walked

[01:10:41] [SPEAKER_02]: in, she goes, I want a free Gucci bag online.

[01:10:44] Whoa.

[01:10:45] [SPEAKER_02]: No, you didn't, Mom.

[01:10:46] [SPEAKER_00]: No, you didn't.

[01:10:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Did you give him a credit card?

[01:10:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I did.

[01:10:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Was that bad?

[01:10:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Why'd you give him a credit card?

[01:10:51] [SPEAKER_02]: It was free.

[01:10:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Shipping?

[01:10:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Hmm.

[01:10:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I said, Mom, you're smarter than that.

[01:10:56] [SPEAKER_02]: She goes, well, I entered the contest four times and I didn't win.

[01:11:00] [SPEAKER_02]: So when I did win...

[01:11:02] [SPEAKER_02]: But she's not to this level.

[01:11:04] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:11:05] [SPEAKER_02]: The retailer, Costco, started selling silver coins after the gold bar sales topped at

[01:11:11] [SPEAKER_02]: $1 million profit in the first fiscal quarter.

[01:11:14] Oh, my God.

[01:11:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Wells Fargo estimated that Costco sold up to $200 million per month in precious metals.

[01:11:21] Right.

[01:11:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Precious metals might be an extremely popular as doomsday preppers are stocking up on the

[01:11:26] [SPEAKER_02]: assets.

[01:11:27] [SPEAKER_02]: The goods are thought to be valuable as they could be used for bartering in a post-apocalyptic

[01:11:31] [SPEAKER_02]: world.

[01:11:37] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:11:38] [SPEAKER_04]: No.

[01:11:39] [SPEAKER_02]: If you want to be a doomsday prepper, let's think this through, guys.

[01:11:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Chickens.

[01:11:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, let's get on some real shit.

[01:11:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Cows.

[01:11:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Cows.

[01:11:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Milk.

[01:11:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but cows are expensive to feed and stuff.

[01:11:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Chickens are cheap.

[01:11:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Start with the chickens.

[01:11:52] I don't know.

[01:11:52] There's only...

[01:11:52] [SPEAKER_02]: You have eggs every day.

[01:11:53] Yeah.

[01:11:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but you have eggs every day.

[01:11:55] [SPEAKER_02]: You can eat.

[01:11:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't die.

[01:11:56] High protein.

[01:11:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:11:59] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I don't know where you're getting your toast.

[01:12:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:12:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm stuck on that.

[01:12:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:12:03] [SPEAKER_02]: You're going to have to get yeast.

[01:12:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Stock up on yeast to make bread.

[01:12:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[01:12:08] Since a woman doesn't cook.

[01:12:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't cook.

[01:12:10] [SPEAKER_02]: I know you need yeast for that because I follow my friend Tom Papa, comedian who makes

[01:12:14] [SPEAKER_02]: bread online.

[01:12:14] [SPEAKER_02]: You can trade with Tom.

[01:12:15] [SPEAKER_02]: He has a wonderful channel.

[01:12:16] [SPEAKER_02]: It makes me wish I could make bread.

[01:12:18] [SPEAKER_02]: But then I think, why would I do that if Tom would just give it to me?

[01:12:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:12:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:12:21] Yeah.

[01:12:22] [SPEAKER_02]: It's delicious.

[01:12:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Jonathan Rose, the CEO of Genesis Gold Group, told us this earlier that 11 millionaires

[01:12:29] [SPEAKER_02]: were hoarding gold to prepare for the end of the day.

[01:12:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, and so are the elites.

[01:12:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Who are these elites?

[01:12:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:12:35] [SPEAKER_02]: To really believe that Barack Obama is hoarding gold bars?

[01:12:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:12:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I think he has enough shit to not worry...

[01:12:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Whoever they're calling me.

[01:12:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I made that up.

[01:12:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know who they're calling.

[01:12:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Elon.

[01:12:48] Oh my...

[01:12:54] [SPEAKER_02]: You could also break them up as candy bars later.

[01:12:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Like a candy bar, you could break it if you don't want to give somebody your whole...

[01:12:59] [SPEAKER_02]: The alien that you think...

[01:13:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Or after the nuclear fucking explosion, you think you're going to come up to me and go,

[01:13:06] [SPEAKER_02]: would you like part of my platinum bar from Costco?

[01:13:09] [SPEAKER_02]: No!

[01:13:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Get off my property or I'm going to shoot you.

[01:13:11] [SPEAKER_02]: That's how that's going.

[01:13:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Do you have anything to offer me?

[01:13:15] [SPEAKER_04]: No.

[01:13:16] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:13:16] I am a glock owner.

[01:13:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Can I eat it?

[01:13:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Is it medicine?

[01:13:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Medicine?

[01:13:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe I'll hoard some medicine.

[01:13:22] Your mom does.

[01:13:23] [SPEAKER_02]: My mom hoards a lot.

[01:13:25] [SPEAKER_02]: And it's in weird places.

[01:13:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Like I'll go...

[01:13:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I went to go look at some point for one of my dad's golf shirts.

[01:13:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[01:13:31] [SPEAKER_02]: And I just moved the clothes and I'm like, whoa.

[01:13:34] [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, wow.

[01:13:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Whoa.

[01:13:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Whoa.

[01:13:36] [SPEAKER_02]: She's very nervous that at the end of life she might not get the medicine she needs for whatever

[01:13:41] [SPEAKER_02]: pain she's anticipating.

[01:13:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.

[01:13:44] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, hmm.

[01:13:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:13:46] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to take all that.

[01:13:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:13:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:13:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Um, they also have doomsday meal prep kits.

[01:13:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Stop it.

[01:13:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:13:53] [SPEAKER_02]: But you're going to run out of those.

[01:13:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:13:55] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the craziest shit I've ever...

[01:13:57] [SPEAKER_02]: The logic...

[01:13:58] [SPEAKER_02]: It's so illogical it blows a Libra's mind.

[01:14:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't...

[01:14:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't even...

[01:14:02] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't even think I could attend the meeting.

[01:14:03] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:14:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Because I can't keep my mouth shut and I would have something...

[01:14:06] [SPEAKER_02]: A thought on every one of these.

[01:14:08] [SPEAKER_02]: And then Lewis would sum it up better.

[01:14:10] [SPEAKER_02]: That's why Lou and I can work well together where I'd be going, fucking you're going to

[01:14:13] [SPEAKER_02]: run out of your stupid kits, you jackasses.

[01:14:16] [SPEAKER_02]: And then what?

[01:14:17] [SPEAKER_02]: What are you going to eat?

[01:14:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Your platinum bar?

[01:14:18] [SPEAKER_02]: And like, I'd be...

[01:14:19] [SPEAKER_02]: And then he'd be like, um, um, um, everyone here, none of this will work.

[01:14:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, he's a better summer upper.

[01:14:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I'd be like, you're an...

[01:14:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I would just go crazy.

[01:14:29] [SPEAKER_02]: The meal...

[01:14:30] [SPEAKER_02]: They have meal buckets that cost under $100.

[01:14:33] [SPEAKER_02]: They're set to last 25 years.

[01:14:34] [SPEAKER_01]: A meal bucket?

[01:14:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[01:14:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Will last 25 years?

[01:14:37] [SPEAKER_02]: It comes with 150 servings of easy to prepare meals that you just need water to make.

[01:14:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Where are you getting your water?

[01:14:43] Right.

[01:14:43] [SPEAKER_02]: It's the end of the world.

[01:14:44] [SPEAKER_02]: You go...

[01:14:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:14:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I know the world.

[01:14:45] [SPEAKER_02]: It's all contaminated.

[01:14:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:14:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:14:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Radioactive.

[01:14:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:14:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Radioactive meal kits.

[01:14:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I gotta get to Costco and see this shit for myself.

[01:14:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I think my Costco membership is still good.

[01:14:56] [SPEAKER_02]: It is.

[01:14:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I gotta check.

[01:14:58] [SPEAKER_02]: They have a...

[01:14:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, when you sign up...

[01:15:00] [SPEAKER_03]: You can use mine.

[01:15:01] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.

[01:15:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Nobody checks.

[01:15:03] [SPEAKER_02]: You can use anybody's.

[01:15:04] [SPEAKER_03]: Do you have radioactive meal kits?

[01:15:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:15:06] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[01:15:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I...

[01:15:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm here to buy the platinum bar.

[01:15:10] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna trade it with an alien.

[01:15:19] [SPEAKER_02]: When they decide to come and take us for food.

[01:15:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna hide in a cave with my platinum bar.

[01:15:23] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I'm gonna go, hey, come here, wonky zonk.

[01:15:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna trade you this if you don't take me.

[01:15:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Leave me in the cave.

[01:15:30] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I will have nothing except my meal kits, which I've got at Costco.

[01:15:33] [SPEAKER_02]: But those are only the last 25 years.

[01:15:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I could live longer than that.

[01:15:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Probably not.

[01:15:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I did smoke.

[01:15:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Security to customer service.

[01:15:42] [SPEAKER_02]: God damn.

[01:15:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I would love to ask one of the people checking people out to see if I get any eye rolling.

[01:15:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Like out of the employees.

[01:15:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Because you know, some of them are like, what?

[01:15:54] [SPEAKER_05]: That's crazy.

[01:15:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, how long are you planning on living?

[01:15:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:15:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Now, as a financial advisor, that would be my brother's first question.

[01:16:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Whenever I say to him, Patrick, how much money do I need to retire?

[01:16:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, Drew will say it too.

[01:16:08] [SPEAKER_02]: He's a financial advisor.

[01:16:09] [SPEAKER_02]: They'll all go, well, that depends on how you want to live in your retirement.

[01:16:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, stop.

[01:16:14] [SPEAKER_02]: But then they all go, let's do some math on you and figure out how long you're going to live.

[01:16:19] [SPEAKER_02]: That's where you should start.

[01:16:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:16:21] [SPEAKER_02]: So we're doing a 20-year budget or a 25-year deal.

[01:16:24] [SPEAKER_02]: But if you're talking about the end of the world, your life expectancy, I'm sure, just got cut in half.

[01:16:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[01:16:31] [SPEAKER_02]: You don't have medicine.

[01:16:31] [SPEAKER_02]: You don't have doctors.

[01:16:32] [SPEAKER_02]: You don't have, you have nothing.

[01:16:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's, ready for the nerds to unite?

[01:16:38] Huh?

[01:16:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Rareest Pokemon card sold for $360,000 at Sotheby's.

[01:16:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Are you kidding?

[01:16:44] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:16:45] Who cares about Pokemon?

[01:16:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Who cares about Pokemon?

[01:16:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:16:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't understand it.

[01:16:50] [SPEAKER_02]: I never did understand it.

[01:16:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I know it's a Japanese thing.

[01:16:53] Huh?

[01:16:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's the information.

[01:16:55] Thank you.

[01:16:56] [SPEAKER_02]: You're welcome.

[01:16:57] [SPEAKER_02]: One of the rarest and most high-discouved Pokemon cards in the world fetched $360,000 at a Sotheby's auction on Tuesday in New York.

[01:17:04] [SPEAKER_02]: The Japanese 1988 Pokemon Illustrated holographic card depicting the iconic franchise cartoon character Pikachu.

[01:17:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I have heard of Pikachu.

[01:17:13] [SPEAKER_02]: He's the little yellow thing.

[01:17:14] [SPEAKER_02]: He is the yellow thing?

[01:17:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:17:16] [SPEAKER_02]: It's only one of 39 official copies.

[01:17:18] [SPEAKER_02]: In addition, the card put up for auction this time is the only one that has been signed by Takumi Akabani, one of the three founders of the trading card game.

[01:17:29] [SPEAKER_02]: The seller and successful builder have not been disclosed.

[01:17:32] [SPEAKER_04]: Wait, Pokemon's, it's a card, it's a game?

[01:17:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Pokemon?

[01:17:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Is it a game?

[01:17:38] I thought it was a cartoon.

[01:17:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if this was an alien asking me.

[01:17:42] [SPEAKER_02]: I'd go, yeah.

[01:17:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:17:43] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like a nerd thing.

[01:17:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:17:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll get into it.

[01:17:48] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a trading card game.

[01:17:49] [SPEAKER_02]: I think they trade the cards, like baseball cards.

[01:17:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Huh.

[01:17:52] [SPEAKER_02]: You collect them and then trade them.

[01:17:55] [SPEAKER_04]: We have those in Canada.

[01:17:57] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[01:17:57] [SPEAKER_02]: They're called hockey cards.

[01:17:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Hockey cards in Canada.

[01:17:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:17:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:18:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I got a Gretzky 1958.

[01:18:02] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[01:18:03] [SPEAKER_02]: He didn't play hockey in 1958.

[01:18:05] [SPEAKER_02]: That's a fake.

[01:18:06] [SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't even born.

[01:18:06] Yeah.

[01:18:07] [SPEAKER_02]: The cards were given out as an award of winners of a 1998 drawing contest by, oh, this is the

[01:18:15] [SPEAKER_02]: only a limited amount, of the Japanese magazine Koro Koro comic.

[01:18:20] [SPEAKER_02]: One of them, considered to be the best preserved card in the world, was purchased for $5,275,000

[01:18:26] [SPEAKER_02]: in 2021.

[01:18:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Whoa.

[01:18:28] [SPEAKER_02]: That was the most expensive card ever, according to the Guinness World Book of Records.

[01:18:31] [SPEAKER_02]: And here's a picture of it.

[01:18:33] I like it.

[01:18:34] [SPEAKER_02]: And the guy signed it, but I don't read Japanese, so I don't know if that's really his signature.

[01:18:39] [SPEAKER_02]: What are you going to do with that?

[01:18:39] [SPEAKER_02]: It could say fuck face.

[01:18:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's talk about Elon for a minute.

[01:18:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's talk about it.

[01:18:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Shall we?

[01:18:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Elon, oh my God.

[01:18:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Him jumping up and down at the Trump rally on stage.

[01:18:55] [SPEAKER_02]: What is wrong with you?

[01:18:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, and get a longer t-shirt.

[01:19:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I do not need to see the white belly.

[01:19:02] [SPEAKER_02]: A lot going on there.

[01:19:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Elon, this is what I do not understand.

[01:19:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I mean, I have my theories, but.

[01:19:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Elon paid $44 billion for Twitter.

[01:19:10] [SPEAKER_02]: A major investment firm says it's now worth less than $10 billion.

[01:19:15] [SPEAKER_02]: I think he broke it to wreck it.

[01:19:17] Yeah.

[01:19:18] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I think of that Florence and the Machine song.

[01:19:19] [SPEAKER_02]: I build a ship to wreck.

[01:19:21] Yeah.

[01:19:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[01:19:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Fidelity investment.

[01:19:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Proud to say I've had a Fidelity account since my dad told me about mutual funds when

[01:19:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I was 18.

[01:19:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I like Fidelity.

[01:19:31] [SPEAKER_02]: They slashed the value of its stake in acts, the social media platform formerly known as

[01:19:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Twitter.

[01:19:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Revealing a sharp decline since billionaire, tech mogul, Elon Musk acquisition.

[01:19:41] [SPEAKER_02]: There's so many conspiracy things and shit on there now that I never used to see.

[01:19:45] Yeah.

[01:19:46] [SPEAKER_02]: And I don't even know if you would call them right wing or left wing.

[01:19:50] [SPEAKER_02]: They're just, it's crazy shit.

[01:19:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:19:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Crazy.

[01:19:53] [SPEAKER_02]: People have lost their minds.

[01:19:54] [SPEAKER_02]: People have lost their minds.

[01:19:56] I think.

[01:19:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't even get in.

[01:19:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not even going to because it'll open Pandora's box.

[01:20:01] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:20:02] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:20:02] [SPEAKER_02]: But anyway, yeah, it's worth less than 10 billion.

[01:20:07] [SPEAKER_02]: So what are we doing with this then?

[01:20:11] [SPEAKER_02]: The eight largest investors in the platform have collectively lost 24 billion.

[01:20:17] Jesus.

[01:20:18] [SPEAKER_02]: 24 billion since he bought it.

[01:20:20] [SPEAKER_04]: I think they think he's like a sublime.

[01:20:22] [SPEAKER_02]: They think he's so smart that he can't go wrong.

[01:20:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:20:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I would have said, I don't know.

[01:20:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Meanwhile, Tesla's been blowing up.

[01:20:30] [SPEAKER_02]: They told everybody in Florida, if you have a Tesla or any kind of electrical vehicle,

[01:20:36] [SPEAKER_02]: you have to get it out of the garage because salt water.

[01:20:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Now, maybe this is something just online.

[01:20:42] [SPEAKER_02]: It's bullshit.

[01:20:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:20:43] [SPEAKER_02]: But there were videos attached.

[01:20:46] [SPEAKER_02]: The salt water hits the battery and it catches on fire.

[01:20:50] Wow.

[01:20:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:20:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, salt will corrode it.

[01:20:54] [SPEAKER_02]: But I don't understand why the fire part.

[01:20:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't get that.

[01:20:57] [SPEAKER_04]: We'll have to Google that.

[01:20:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:21:02] [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to do.

[01:21:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't really have a.

[01:21:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I do have a feel good story.

[01:21:07] [SPEAKER_02]: What do I got going?

[01:21:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:21:10] [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to save these for next week.

[01:21:11] Okay.

[01:21:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's a little something going on in Arkansas.

[01:21:16] Oh, boy.

[01:21:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Home of Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

[01:21:18] [SPEAKER_05]: Brace yourself.

[01:21:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I used to work at a club there in Little Rock.

[01:21:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I liked it.

[01:21:25] [SPEAKER_02]: It's called the Comedy House.

[01:21:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I like Arkansas.

[01:21:29] [SPEAKER_02]: They're my southern neighbor in Missouri.

[01:21:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I just don't get it.

[01:21:33] [SPEAKER_02]: I think they never had industry, so they don't have a shit ton of jobs like a city that had industry.

[01:21:38] [SPEAKER_02]: If you do it historically.

[01:21:41] [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of mountains.

[01:21:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Like the Ozark Mountains are beautiful.

[01:21:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, and the Ozark Mountains go from Missouri all the way down to Arkansas.

[01:21:45] [SPEAKER_02]: They get better as you go down to Arkansas.

[01:21:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Way better.

[01:21:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Like they're mountain range, but it's a lot of mountain stuff.

[01:21:50] [SPEAKER_02]: And therefore, we come to this story.

[01:21:53] [SPEAKER_02]: How to cook a squirrel.

[01:21:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Professional chefs.

[01:22:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[01:22:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[01:22:02] [SPEAKER_02]: We're having a whole goddamn festival about it.

[01:22:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[01:22:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my God.

[01:22:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[01:22:07] [SPEAKER_04]: A termite said that.

[01:22:08] [SPEAKER_02]: I know.

[01:22:10] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the eater guide to the heartland.

[01:22:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, God.

[01:22:13] [SPEAKER_02]: You know, don't make it sound like we're all doing this.

[01:22:15] [SPEAKER_02]: This is specifically mostly Arkansas.

[01:22:17] [SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot of rounding.

[01:22:19] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[01:22:20] Wow.

[01:22:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Sarah Huckabee Sanders, their governor, by the way, has the lowest rating of any governor.

[01:22:25] [SPEAKER_02]: But what I like is when she talks, I feel like she's biting the air where she's like,

[01:22:29] [SPEAKER_02]: ah, Phil, lock, lock in Arkansas.

[01:22:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, no.

[01:22:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Wait.

[01:22:36] [SPEAKER_02]: And then she's just bite the air.

[01:22:38] [SPEAKER_02]: This is from-

[01:22:38] [SPEAKER_02]: We want normal.

[01:22:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Nancy.

[01:22:42] Yeah.

[01:22:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, Nancy.

[01:22:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Professional chefs and amateur cooks compete for Arkansas Pride in the annual World

[01:22:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Champion Squirrel cook-off.

[01:22:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Come on.

[01:22:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:22:54] [SPEAKER_04]: It's just a single squirrel they're cooking?

[01:22:56] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I don't think it matters.

[01:22:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I think.

[01:22:59] [SPEAKER_04]: I say it.

[01:22:59] Yeah.

[01:23:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, and when you say you're hunting squirrel, I mean, I can do that off the deck.

[01:23:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't.

[01:23:05] [SPEAKER_02]: And I won't.

[01:23:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I think they're adorable.

[01:23:07] [SPEAKER_04]: I saw your snake video.

[01:23:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[01:23:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.

[01:23:09] [SPEAKER_02]: The cats brought up a snake.

[01:23:10] [SPEAKER_02]: God.

[01:23:11] [SPEAKER_02]: It was a baby garter snake.

[01:23:12] [SPEAKER_02]: It was no harm, no foul.

[01:23:13] [SPEAKER_02]: But I don't want it on the porch because it could get in the house.

[01:23:15] [SPEAKER_02]: And I don't want snakes in the house.

[01:23:17] [SPEAKER_02]: That's not an unreal.

[01:23:18] [SPEAKER_02]: And then all the snake people go, I'll leave it.

[01:23:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I know it's a good snake.

[01:23:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I get it.

[01:23:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I get it.

[01:23:22] [SPEAKER_02]: But its mom is somewhere.

[01:23:24] Oh, God.

[01:23:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:23:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I am leaving.

[01:23:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to see it in the pool.

[01:23:28] [SPEAKER_02]: And then the cats brought it up fully alive as the best present ever.

[01:23:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Chapo looked like, can you even fucking believe I did this?

[01:23:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Lady, you don't know what I went through.

[01:23:38] [SPEAKER_02]: And at first I thought it was a skink, like a lizard deal.

[01:23:41] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, oh, shit.

[01:23:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Snake.

[01:23:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Snake.

[01:23:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:23:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I got it out.

[01:23:46] [SPEAKER_02]: It went away.

[01:23:47] [SPEAKER_02]: It's safe in the woods.

[01:23:48] [SPEAKER_02]: So it'll be around to eat bad things.

[01:23:50] [SPEAKER_02]: God.

[01:23:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:23:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Ugh.

[01:23:54] [SPEAKER_02]: They have squirrel ravioli.

[01:23:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on.

[01:23:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm serious.

[01:24:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Squirrels can be whole, halved, or quartered, but they must start out cold and bagged.

[01:24:04] [SPEAKER_02]: They can't be marinated in anything more than a salt brine.

[01:24:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on.

[01:24:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Most competitors are pretty outdoorsy, plucking their squirrel straight from a tree with a shotgun

[01:24:11] [SPEAKER_02]: or a .22 rifle.

[01:24:12] [SPEAKER_04]: A .22?

[01:24:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:24:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Hi, squirrel.

[01:24:16] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:24:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's one bullet.

[01:24:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, the problem is the shotgun, I think there's a thousand pellets coming at them.

[01:24:26] [SPEAKER_02]: How am I supposed to eat that if it has pellets all in it?

[01:24:29] [SPEAKER_04]: It's already tenderized.

[01:24:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Those lacking name to harvest their own squirrels or source them, they're allowed to supplement

[01:24:37] [SPEAKER_02]: their stock with critters donated.

[01:24:39] [SPEAKER_02]: So there's people just shooting squirrels and donating.

[01:24:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on.

[01:24:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[01:24:42] [SPEAKER_02]: You get three hours to assemble your squirrel dish.

[01:24:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Official award points for texture and taste, the percentage of squirrel meat versus other

[01:24:55] [SPEAKER_02]: proteins in the main dishes, as well as the squirrel-based side dishes.

[01:24:59] What?

[01:25:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they're side dishes.

[01:25:01] Oh my God.

[01:25:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it goes on and on.

[01:25:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes it's gamey.

[01:25:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I've eaten it.

[01:25:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I've never eaten squirrel.

[01:25:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I've tasted squirrel.

[01:25:08] No.

[01:25:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:25:14] [SPEAKER_02]: It's sort of basic.

[01:25:16] [SPEAKER_04]: Come on.

[01:25:17] [SPEAKER_04]: Do you eat squirrel?

[01:25:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[01:25:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, Lewis will eat anything.

[01:25:25] [SPEAKER_04]: Lewis, I bet, has not eaten squirrel.

[01:25:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, he has.

[01:25:28] [SPEAKER_02]: He wants to taste everything on earth before he's dead or it's dead.

[01:25:33] Okay.

[01:25:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:25:34] [SPEAKER_02]: He eats weird shit when he can.

[01:25:36] It's crazy.

[01:25:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:25:37] [SPEAKER_02]: He's the first one where it says, you know, baby buffalo on the menu.

[01:25:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh yeah, I have to taste it.

[01:25:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, stop.

[01:25:44] [SPEAKER_02]: No, I made that up.

[01:25:45] [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm...

[01:25:45] [SPEAKER_05]: Nobody's killing buffalo.

[01:25:46] [SPEAKER_05]: I love it.

[01:25:47] [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of people are just coming out there to get a story.

[01:25:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes you have to get out of your bubble.

[01:25:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Get out into the...

[01:25:54] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a deeply unserious event.

[01:25:56] [SPEAKER_02]: The whole thing emerged from a joke.

[01:25:57] [SPEAKER_02]: That's fun.

[01:25:58] [SPEAKER_02]: It's...

[01:25:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:26:01] [SPEAKER_02]: They're not serious, but they are doing it.

[01:26:03] [SPEAKER_02]: The first cook-off was held in Bentonville, Arkansas.

[01:26:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Home of what?

[01:26:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Walmart.

[01:26:09] [SPEAKER_02]: It was hastily thrown together in time for filming.

[01:26:12] [SPEAKER_02]: 24 teams from multiple states showed up to present dishes like squirrel fried rice and

[01:26:17] [SPEAKER_02]: squirrel gumbo.

[01:26:18] [SPEAKER_02]: See, you can put anything in gumbo and trick people.

[01:26:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I've had alligator gumbo and I didn't know it was alligator.

[01:26:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Like...

[01:26:24] [SPEAKER_02]: It's the room.

[01:26:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I know.

[01:26:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:26:26] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[01:26:27] [SPEAKER_04]: A little chewy, but that's okay.

[01:26:28] [SPEAKER_02]: The town continued to host the event for years before it relocated in 2023 to the

[01:26:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Ozark Highlands Nature Center in Springdale, the new venue, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[01:26:37] [SPEAKER_02]: So there you go.

[01:26:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Arkansas.

[01:26:39] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what you got going on for the weekend.

[01:26:42] [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to go through some thank yous and then some quotes and then we're done.

[01:26:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Foxwoods.

[01:26:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I got some good sour ale.

[01:26:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[01:26:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Susie.

[01:26:52] [SPEAKER_02]: ESPN producer Susie.

[01:26:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[01:26:54] [SPEAKER_02]: That's great.

[01:26:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Greenies.

[01:26:55] [SPEAKER_02]: So glad I was out.

[01:26:57] [SPEAKER_02]: These little fucking cats.

[01:26:58] [SPEAKER_02]: So somebody gave me these things.

[01:27:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I think Bob and Clark may have done it.

[01:27:02] [SPEAKER_02]: There were little star treats.

[01:27:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Any other kind of treat.

[01:27:05] [SPEAKER_02]: They will eat around those to get the greenies.

[01:27:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Not feral.

[01:27:09] Not feral.

[01:27:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if they're feral or not.

[01:27:12] [SPEAKER_02]: They're not feral.

[01:27:13] [SPEAKER_02]: It's crazy.

[01:27:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Kind of.

[01:27:14] [SPEAKER_02]: They still have their hunting skills.

[01:27:15] [SPEAKER_02]: What are you doing?

[01:27:16] [SPEAKER_02]: They have their hunting skills.

[01:27:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:27:19] [SPEAKER_02]: So the greenies are their favorite.

[01:27:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Any other kind of treat.

[01:27:22] [SPEAKER_02]: They literally will just not eat it.

[01:27:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, you know, you guys are awfully picky for people that are just hanging out here.

[01:27:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I got some bears and stuff from Vicky, Pam, and Paul.

[01:27:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I got a shark course crew and a shark Yeti cup that's Jaws.

[01:27:40] Cool.

[01:27:40] Yeah.

[01:27:41] [SPEAKER_02]: New York town hall.

[01:27:42] [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of stuff came.

[01:27:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Termite teas from the Germites.

[01:27:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Jason and husband.

[01:27:47] [SPEAKER_02]: My fire hoodie.

[01:27:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I have it right here.

[01:27:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Look at this.

[01:27:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, shit.

[01:27:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm dropping stuff.

[01:27:54] [SPEAKER_02]: This is so great.

[01:27:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Fire.

[01:27:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Look.

[01:27:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Fire.

[01:27:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Fire.

[01:27:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:28:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Who's that from?

[01:28:02] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to say.

[01:28:03] [SPEAKER_02]: That's from Madison Termite.

[01:28:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, Wisconsin.

[01:28:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Jesse, an artist.

[01:28:09] [SPEAKER_02]: And her mom, Kiki.

[01:28:09] [SPEAKER_02]: And her daughter, Nina.

[01:28:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Who's the children?

[01:28:14] [SPEAKER_02]: My Swifty friendship bracelets.

[01:28:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Melanie and her husband, Ron.

[01:28:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's one where there's a Pinky Tito one in there.

[01:28:23] [SPEAKER_02]: It's so funny.

[01:28:23] [SPEAKER_02]: It says you got this Pinky Tito.

[01:28:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I know.

[01:28:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I went through them all.

[01:28:26] [SPEAKER_02]: They're very funny.

[01:28:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Hang on a second.

[01:28:27] [SPEAKER_04]: You got to show the other t-shirt.

[01:28:29] [SPEAKER_04]: That's from Jason.

[01:28:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I hadn't gotten to that yet.

[01:28:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you said it first.

[01:28:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I did.

[01:28:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.

[01:28:34] [SPEAKER_02]: He came up to the stage and then he said, I hope I didn't scare you.

[01:28:36] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:28:37] [SPEAKER_02]: He came up with a bag.

[01:28:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I know he's not going to.

[01:28:39] [SPEAKER_02]: And he looked like a rocker guy.

[01:28:41] [SPEAKER_02]: That's cool.

[01:28:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I'm glad.

[01:28:54] [SPEAKER_02]: But he just looks super cool.

[01:28:55] [SPEAKER_02]: He looked like, I don't know, like he could be in a cool band.

[01:28:58] [SPEAKER_02]: That's funny.

[01:28:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so that was cool.

[01:28:59] [SPEAKER_04]: That's a cool shirt.

[01:29:00] [SPEAKER_04]: I like mine too.

[01:29:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I like it.

[01:29:01] [SPEAKER_02]: It's very cool.

[01:29:02] [SPEAKER_02]: It took me a hot second to see what it really meant.

[01:29:04] [SPEAKER_02]: This is a Bigfoot thing.

[01:29:06] [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to start incorporating this about stories.

[01:29:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's how I feel about the squirrel cook-off.

[01:29:16] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a Bigfoot haul.

[01:29:18] [SPEAKER_02]: It's emergency Bigfoot.

[01:29:19] [SPEAKER_02]: That's terrible.

[01:29:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's from Patrick and Ace, New York City.

[01:29:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Beer Candle, Allen and Kay, Jersey Termites, Jack's Abbey,

[01:29:27] [SPEAKER_02]: which was my favorite beer backstage that night.

[01:29:29] Nice.

[01:29:29] Cool.

[01:29:30] [SPEAKER_02]: The sour one was interesting, but I don't think I could have a lot.

[01:29:33] [SPEAKER_02]: But I liked it.

[01:29:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Sours are weird.

[01:29:35] [SPEAKER_02]: That's Steve.

[01:29:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Local Pumpkin Owls, Lawrence.

[01:29:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Greenies.

[01:29:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure who did.

[01:29:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, Lawrence, I think brought those too.

[01:29:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Dolly Parton Coffee Table Book.

[01:29:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Did I say that right?

[01:29:46] [SPEAKER_02]: That's cool.

[01:29:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:29:47] [SPEAKER_02]: It weighs 400 miles.

[01:29:48] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a gold mite.

[01:29:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, a gold mite.

[01:29:50] [SPEAKER_02]: A gay ulter mite.

[01:29:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[01:29:52] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a gold mite.

[01:29:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I like it.

[01:29:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Congratulations.

[01:29:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he named himself.

[01:29:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Chug McCormick mayonnaise.

[01:29:58] [SPEAKER_02]: That's from Steve.

[01:29:59] [SPEAKER_02]: And then mayonnaise from Steve in Brooklyn.

[01:30:02] [SPEAKER_02]: And then UPS, and then we're almost done.

[01:30:04] [SPEAKER_02]: This is a baby owl and a teacup,

[01:30:06] [SPEAKER_02]: which used to be a joke of mine about CNN.

[01:30:08] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't believe how you guys remember certain lines from certain jokes.

[01:30:11] [SPEAKER_02]: That's funny.

[01:30:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Some of the lines I go, I forgot I even said that.

[01:30:14] [SPEAKER_02]: But then other lines I'm like, yeah, I thought it was a good line.

[01:30:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Right?

[01:30:17] [SPEAKER_02]: But this one was a baby owl and a teacup.

[01:30:19] [SPEAKER_02]: And how the fuck did you even make this?

[01:30:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Have you?

[01:30:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Have you?

[01:30:24] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:30:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm, no.

[01:30:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought about naming it Lewis.

[01:30:28] [SPEAKER_04]: That's perfect.

[01:30:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:30:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure it's a Lewis.

[01:30:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:30:32] [SPEAKER_02]: But I like it.

[01:30:33] [SPEAKER_02]: We'll sit on it.

[01:30:34] [SPEAKER_02]: That's from Susan.

[01:30:35] [SPEAKER_02]: And then, oh, I'm sorry.

[01:30:36] [SPEAKER_02]: The Jaws term aside to Tumblr is from Janine.

[01:30:39] Nice.

[01:30:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:30:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Not from, that was a different Tumblr.

[01:30:42] [SPEAKER_02]: The Yeti.

[01:30:42] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a lot.

[01:30:42] [SPEAKER_02]: The Yeti one.

[01:30:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Because Yetis are expensive.

[01:30:44] [SPEAKER_02]: They are.

[01:30:44] [SPEAKER_02]: You guys don't have to buy me Yetis.

[01:30:46] [SPEAKER_02]: That's crazy.

[01:30:46] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:30:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't spend your money.

[01:30:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Wrong.

[01:30:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't spend your money.

[01:30:49] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I'm glad I got it.

[01:30:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't get me wrong.

[01:30:51] [SPEAKER_02]: But I feel bad.

[01:30:53] [SPEAKER_02]: My birthday toilet paper from Kathleen and Eric.

[01:30:56] [SPEAKER_02]: And boom, chicka popcorn from Susan.

[01:30:58] [SPEAKER_02]: So, that was all the birthday.

[01:31:01] [SPEAKER_02]: And then this lady.

[01:31:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:31:03] [SPEAKER_02]: See this cat with the, it's a cat shooting laser out of its paws at a birthday cake.

[01:31:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I actually have bought this card for my nieces.

[01:31:10] [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, no way.

[01:31:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I did.

[01:31:12] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, this is for my Amanda.

[01:31:14] [SPEAKER_02]: And then the coolest stickers.

[01:31:15] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a funky one, a Banksy one.

[01:31:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know how people find this shit.

[01:31:18] [SPEAKER_02]: It's so great because I need a new.

[01:31:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I don't know.

[01:31:21] [SPEAKER_02]: But if I put in Stevie Nicks sticker, they have a Rembrandt painting, the C one.

[01:31:27] [SPEAKER_02]: And they said, I hope you have the best birthday ever.

[01:31:30] [SPEAKER_02]: And these stickers are great because I have to have a new joke book because the red one is full.

[01:31:36] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I get super anal and crazy.

[01:31:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:31:39] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I'm going to read some more birthday cards next week.

[01:31:43] [SPEAKER_02]: So, I got a rosary from the Pope.

[01:31:45] [SPEAKER_02]: So, my friend, Jesuit priest friend, his sister Carolyn came to New York.

[01:31:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Unfortunately, it was a shit show backstage.

[01:31:53] [SPEAKER_02]: So, I couldn't get everybody back there that I wanted to say hi to.

[01:31:55] [SPEAKER_02]: But next time, because there will be a next time for sure.

[01:31:59] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a patron saint of cats.

[01:32:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Did you know that?

[01:32:01] No.

[01:32:01] [SPEAKER_02]: These earrings are St. Gertrude.

[01:32:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I love it when people know they're saints.

[01:32:06] [SPEAKER_02]: And St. Lawrence, the patron saint of comedians.

[01:32:08] [SPEAKER_02]: St. Lawrence was martyred by being burned on the gridiron.

[01:32:11] [SPEAKER_02]: At one point, he looked at his tormentors and said, you can turn me over now.

[01:32:15] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm done on this side.

[01:32:16] [SPEAKER_02]: That's why he's a patron saint of comedians.

[01:32:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

[01:32:20] [SPEAKER_02]: And then a Pope Francis rosary, which is great.

[01:32:25] [SPEAKER_02]: So, that was very, very nice.

[01:32:26] [SPEAKER_02]: And we'll get to the rest of this stuff next week.

[01:32:29] [SPEAKER_02]: But let's do a couple quotes.

[01:32:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's do Snoop Dogg.

[01:32:34] [SPEAKER_02]: And since Dolly was queening out, we'll do Dolly this week.

[01:32:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:32:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's do Dolly first.

[01:32:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Since she's given a million dollars.

[01:32:41] [SPEAKER_02]: She's crazy, Paul.

[01:32:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I never felt I belonged.

[01:32:48] [SPEAKER_02]: This is to discussing her early career in 1977 with Rolling Stone.

[01:32:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Never felt I belonged in my whole life, even as a kid.

[01:32:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I was just different.

[01:32:56] [SPEAKER_02]: So, I never really found my place until I moved to Nashville and got in the music business.

[01:33:00] [SPEAKER_02]: That was my real place, so I fit in.

[01:33:02] [SPEAKER_02]: So, what is the moral for the children?

[01:33:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Go where you fit in.

[01:33:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[01:33:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't stay where it's awkward.

[01:33:08] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:33:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Move on.

[01:33:09] [SPEAKER_02]: You can always go back home if you get sad.

[01:33:12] [SPEAKER_02]: You can always go back home if you feel like you're going to start crying.

[01:33:15] [SPEAKER_02]: You can get in the car and go back home.

[01:33:16] [SPEAKER_05]: Go back home.

[01:33:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Snoop is single-handedly saving NBC.

[01:33:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Now he's on, which one is it?

[01:33:33] [SPEAKER_02]: The Voice?

[01:33:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:33:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't watch him.

[01:33:35] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm not sure Reba loves the competition for the...

[01:33:44] [SPEAKER_02]: They put this fact in here.

[01:33:46] [SPEAKER_02]: It makes me laugh.

[01:33:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Snoop's reported IQ, which is indicative of a talented genius.

[01:33:51] [SPEAKER_02]: It's 147 is his IQ.

[01:33:52] [SPEAKER_02]: If accurate, we must assume it is considering all of his music and business savvy.

[01:33:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Snoop is much, much cleverer than the average dog, which has an IQ of 100.

[01:34:03] [SPEAKER_05]: All right.

[01:34:11] [SPEAKER_02]: That's good enough for now.

[01:34:13] [SPEAKER_02]: All right.

[01:34:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Turn right.

[01:34:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm off to Troy.

[01:34:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to go see where they filmed the Gilded Age.

[01:34:20] [SPEAKER_02]: That'd be fun.

[01:34:21] [SPEAKER_02]: And Burlington.

[01:34:25] Burlington?

[01:34:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Burlington, Vermont.

[01:34:27] Not Salt Lake.

[01:34:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Salt Lake will be the week after that.

[01:34:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[01:34:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, I had my weeks a little confused because this Mormon joke has gone so crazy on TikTok.

[01:34:36] [SPEAKER_02]: And then my sister goes, did you do something?

[01:34:39] [SPEAKER_02]: What do you think I could do to make that happen?

[01:34:42] [SPEAKER_02]: What do you think is in my power?

[01:34:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I popped a beer?

[01:34:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I called China.

[01:34:47] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:34:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know how it happened.

[01:34:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, let's get some more jokes going.

[01:34:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to get...

[01:34:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I have.

[01:34:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I did it all summer long.

[01:34:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Good.

[01:34:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I took all the specials I have.

[01:34:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I can't do all of them because some people own some of the other ones.

[01:34:58] [SPEAKER_02]: But I took the ones that I could.

[01:35:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Nice.

[01:35:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Which I think was five.

[01:35:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:35:02] [SPEAKER_02]: It takes me about 10 hours to do it.

[01:35:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Whoa.

[01:35:05] [SPEAKER_02]: And I had to do it three times.

[01:35:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:35:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Spotify, TikTok, and Sirius Radio.

[01:35:11] [SPEAKER_02]: And they're all different times.

[01:35:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[01:35:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.

[01:35:12] [SPEAKER_02]: So that's 30 hours apiece.

[01:35:15] [SPEAKER_02]: It's 150 hours.

[01:35:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Work of the Lord.

[01:35:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Work of the Lord.

[01:35:19] [SPEAKER_02]: I could have made the children do it, but I don't want the children to do it.

[01:35:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Because sometimes the children, as well-meaning as they may be, they don't understand where

[01:35:26] [SPEAKER_02]: the joke really starts and stops.

[01:35:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Most of the time they do, but sometimes it's just off.

[01:35:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:35:31] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, if I do it, then I know what we're doing here.

[01:35:35] [SPEAKER_02]: You got it.

[01:35:35] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I feel like this is done forever now.

[01:35:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:35:40] [SPEAKER_02]: So I have a lot more specials.

[01:35:41] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I'm going to get into some old DVDs and chop those up for the Tooker Talker and

[01:35:47] [SPEAKER_02]: whatever.

[01:35:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Something to look for?

[01:35:49] [SPEAKER_02]: So, well, it's a winter chore.

[01:35:51] [SPEAKER_02]: It's too nice out right now.

[01:35:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't be inside doing things.

[01:35:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I need to be out playing pickleball or golfing.

[01:35:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:35:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:35:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Or hiking.

[01:35:57] [SPEAKER_02]: There's fall hikes that need to be had.

[01:36:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[01:36:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Or a kayak ride.

[01:36:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, nice.

[01:36:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:36:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Down to Burgess Falls or something like.

[01:36:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:36:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:36:11] [SPEAKER_02]: And maybe a benefit.

[01:36:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[01:36:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I've been asked to do these benefit things.

[01:36:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I want to do those for, well, it started out with the North Carolina people and now it's

[01:36:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Florida too.

[01:36:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't know.

[01:36:20] [SPEAKER_02]: And then I always think of these benefits.

[01:36:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Does this really do stuff?

[01:36:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[01:36:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I hope so.

[01:36:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it does.

[01:36:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I'm always going to show up.

[01:36:27] [SPEAKER_02]: The ones that you do.

[01:36:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I hope so.

[01:36:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Because I do know the people involved.

[01:36:30] [SPEAKER_02]: So I don't, none of them are stealing nothing.

[01:36:32] [SPEAKER_02]: I know that.

[01:36:33] [SPEAKER_02]: I just, and I never know what the chain of events, like where's the money actually go?

[01:36:36] [SPEAKER_02]: So I just, I'm too not educated on all that.

[01:36:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I just assume that it goes somewhere where it helps.

[01:36:45] [SPEAKER_02]: So stay safe, Flora.

[01:36:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a little pals.

[01:36:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Billy.

[01:37:06] [SPEAKER_02]: God.

[01:37:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry.

[01:37:06] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the way it ends.

[01:37:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll send this to your family after I put it on my TikTok.

[01:37:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Mama needs some money.

[01:37:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Mama needs a new driver.

[01:37:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Mama needs a new putter.

[01:37:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on.

[01:37:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Go film yourself in 175 miles an hour, please.

[01:37:25] [SPEAKER_02]: All right.

[01:37:25] [SPEAKER_02]: That's it.

[01:37:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Are we ready?

[01:37:27] Hi.

[01:37:27] Hi.

[01:37:28] Hi.

[01:37:28] Hi.