Episode 188: Gold For Snoop & Martha, Venice’s Tourist Tax, & Moose Lodge Beer Specials

[00:00:01] Hey everybody it's me Kathleen Madigan welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on. Termites! Welcome, welcome everybody. I think Stevie's gone. I think Queen Stevie's going back to United States. Goodbye. Goodbye everyone. She'll remain here

[00:00:36] though welcoming everyone. The cats, the UPS man, welcome. How much would that guy freak out if I open the door like this and went, welcome. Maybe I'll just leave her packages way out in the yard. Oh termites so many things episode 188

[00:00:53] welcome, welcome. A month? That's all she takes off is one month for Stevie? Grand Rapids and Hershey? Oh Hershey's that makeup show I think. So's Grand

[00:01:05] Rapids? It's your birthday week, do you want to go? It's my birthday week? No. Have you not seen her enough? I've seen Stevie enough this year I think so. I've seen her enough like if something happened and she never went on the road I'd be like

[00:01:19] okay well that's fine I saw it. I did, I was good. I'm not one of the Tay Tay people that go every show if you can afford it and I could afford it but that's because Stevie's tickets aren't crazy. They're normal gather tickets. So what are we

[00:01:34] drinking? Well I have a Bloody Mary back for no reason than I was just craving one. Well it's afternoon, it's really hot out. I'm like you know I need a little burst of something and then I've got my beer. I've got from Cincinnati

[00:01:50] Taft's Brewing Company Frisch's. I'm sure I'm not pronouncing it right. Frisch's. It's Big Boy. Bob's Big Boy. Same thing. Right. Yeah I would drink one. Like I wouldn't take a boat full. I wouldn't take a

[00:02:07] cooler and go yeah I've got a hundred of these. No I wouldn't but it's different. It's a little maybe like a little dessert ale if you will. Yeah I do. Yeah and I usually don't vote for throwing fruit in my beer. I don't like Blue Moon

[00:02:21] because of that. I don't. I don't like it. I know it's too I don't know it doesn't taste like beer anymore. Wine? Lime in my beer? Not particularly. No I'll have it in a margarita. Oh in a Corona? Yeah but that's just cuz it's summer and it's hot

[00:02:44] and it just goes. Bud Light Lime? No that's Dorf's thing. He loves them. I know there's always six in my beer fridge for if a little Dorf happens to stop by because he gets so sad if you don't have lime. I'm like first of all freak it's a

[00:02:58] summer beer. That's it and it'll be January. You got any Bud Light Lime? No Ryan cuz it's wintertime. Nobody has all that but I do. I always have six for him. What are we eating? Well we're gonna start out with Cincinnati Bearcat

[00:03:14] barbecue. Now their big thing is and I'm gonna make I brought some home I'm gonna make it next to Skyline Chili. That's their thing and I went through the drive-thru and I also got a can of it. I'm gonna make it next week and see if

[00:03:27] it tastes the same when you make it at home. These are oh my god these are barbecue potato chips. What what the hell is in these? Grippos? Oh no no no no no

[00:03:43] it's my dad what is that? No no no no no no. The two most famous Bearcats I would believe to be Jason and Travis Kelsey. Yeah yeah since oh wow I gotta get some beer.

[00:03:57] Those are the potato chips look they just like that strawberry in them. This looks way more promising. Mr. B biscuits and gravy potato chips. Oh Andy Drew and Carrie brought me those termites so much stuff came backstage it was it was

[00:04:14] amazing yeah. Biscuits and gravy Mr. B make a wish West Virginia. Oh well these are good way to go West Virginia. Yeah people forget how close it is to Ohio yeah because I went to Marietta Ohio never been there and I said it on stage

[00:04:40] it's like a perfect little Hallmark town with a little bit of meth. It's not at dangerous levels yet. Well I would say the meth people are creeping they're creeping yeah but the rest of its intact as a Hallmark village it was just the

[00:04:59] cutest little town ever and then they closed the street for where the theater was so the people could party in the street. They had a hot dog cart yeah the guy sent me a hot dog again he knows I like hot dogs yeah I would have gone out

[00:05:12] and got one but I didn't know how to get out the front. Those are good. Oh man Stacey and Scott from Sunset Valley Dairy Farms she made these cookies I've never seen anything this intricate it has my punchlines on it I do not recall

[00:05:29] any need an attorney if you're not looking at these I'll post pictures in his notes then there's one of the Amazon special the front of that yeah there's the podcast one the Loch Ness Monster my mom's all-star pills look at

[00:05:42] this one I know some of you can't see it if you're not watching and Bigfoot it was amazing I gave Michael he Michael loves cookies so I gave Michael Palastak was the opener people have been asking who that was and then there's

[00:05:53] their hat from it says because they're the dairy it says from the titty to the city you can have it yeah I'm keeping the cookies the ones that I kept okay well I'm gonna tell you where we're going and then we're gonna get this show

[00:06:12] on the road August 10th coming up this weekend Niagara Falls Ontario August 24th Hampton Beach New Hampshire oh then Labor Day weekend the Venetian the Friday and Saturday night August 30th and 31st September 6 Terrytown Denver 7th Wilmington Delaware 13th Columbus Ohio a sub 14th Lexington Kentucky 19th September

[00:06:38] Oklahoma City September 21st Dallas Texas yeah Dallas is almost sold out I don't know about oklahoma I don't really look at we get these thing calls tickets counts often like I feel like they come every seven seconds from the children

[00:06:53] and I'm like you know we yeah it's nice they do it but whatever it's supposed to keep me informed as you tell well I've read it lately well Dallas is great I don't know September 27th the Foxwoods Casino

[00:07:05] it's never 28th New York City Town Hall what what the 11th October 11th Troy New York which is by the way I believe I'm right where they're filming the Gilded Age yeah now I want to go to those streets and see those houses yeah all

[00:07:23] there's a lot of those upstate New York towns and have the coolest old houses and if you watch the Gilded Age boom that's where they film a lot of it how great is that yeah October 12 Burlington Vermont I like

[00:07:35] anytime I'm in Vermont because I never got to go there when I started comedy because it's too far to drive no weren't enough clubs there so it's a state I don't know much about October 19th Salt Lake City Utah October 25th Spartanburg

[00:07:49] South Carolina October 26th Wilmington North Carolina then November 1st and 2nd off to Canada adults Edmonton first up then Calgary yeah this wonderful wonderful little schedule all right let's set this over here so Marietta

[00:08:07] was a blast I would did not see that coming and I didn't know why didn't know what to expect I went to the little brewing company and then I took a video of the street and all that I posted it on Instagram with them and some of the

[00:08:20] children were asking me what a moose lodge is because well because there was a moose lodge right next to the brewery the Marietta Brewing Company and I thought well I guess some of the youngsters probably and then I thought

[00:08:32] do I really know that I know what an elk sludge is and a moose lodge but why are they different and what first of all if you want to join you got to have an invitation of another moose or elk has to ask you and it's $55 sometimes 60 no

[00:08:50] more for life for life yeah yes now they both equally were racist so I'm just gonna throw that out there but they don't do that anymore but equally the yeah now I remember the elk sludge like in Missouri I heard of the moose lodges

[00:09:11] but I didn't know really what and what's weird is it the mooses the moose were founded in Mooseheart Illinois yeah and st. Louis was one of their cities that they first once so here's what they are in case you ever passed one up because

[00:09:26] all of my comedian friends in Redondo Beach when we all lived in Hermosa oh gosh Daniel I can't think of his last name Tosh yeah he's the one who decided we should all become Elks because beer is

[00:09:41] beer was like five bucks and so he I said well you go first Daniel you're you know you're the good-looking white guy you go down there to see what's going on in there see if it's even any fun and everybody did we all joined the lawyer

[00:09:57] order of moose is a fraternal and service organization founded in 1888 and headquartered in Moose Illinois yes moose moose heart sorry Mooseheart Illinois yeah I've never heard of that it was founded in the spring of 88 by dr. Henry John Henry Wilson originally intended purely as a men's social club

[00:10:20] lodges were founded in Cincinnati st. Louis Crawfordsville and Frankfort Indiana the early order was not prosperous he was dissatisfied and left the order of moose before the turn of the century back in night isn't even in

[00:10:37] 1906 they only had two left and then they did home they got the racial discrimination thing thrown at him yeah he had to clean all that up oh my god up until 1994 a moose lodge in Hagerstown Maryland denied membership

[00:10:53] based on race I know but now it's they say that you don't you that's all you know over and done with and when the youngsters ask what they are I I don't know clubs like a VFW Hall yeah but they won't know what probably not been in

[00:11:10] one of those either a meeting place well I don't know what do you know it's a weird place they all seem to have a liquor license it's not a bar yeah up until the 70s membership was restricted to white people yeah just white Bob

[00:11:28] probably not women either they're not even getting into that we're not even going to discuss that like but yeah there's a lot of so you're just supposed to go there and I guess have some beers the moose lodge it in Marietta looked

[00:11:42] like a lot of fun a social club if you will the Elks Elks order of Elks EOK s well I'm telling you that's what it says the revenue for the moose lodges in 2020 was 55 million dollars yeah their expenses were 57 million so somebody

[00:12:05] fucked up on the beer there two bucks a beer well you got to raise that to four you guys you can't have a two million dollar deficit they get a 200 million dollar endowment from who they have a heart 50 employees 500 volunteers they

[00:12:22] try to do good organization things for the town fundraisers you know think of you know hallmark right what are the hallmark town folk do when things get sad and depressed and they're gonna close god damn it we have to have a sale

[00:12:38] the show come on the Elks they were found in 1868 there was social club in New York City their headquartered in Chicago at the Elks National Veterans Memorial headquarters overlooking Lincoln Park near Lake Michigan this was originally

[00:13:00] conceived as a memorial oh they even give their coordinates here's if you want to maybe a member here's your requirements you have to be a citizen United States who will pledge allegiance to the flag and salute our flag that's

[00:13:11] fine over age 21 yes I am a believer in God then they specify a candidate will never be asked to define or qualify their belief well then just say yes right the god of whom thunder thunder Thor oh you have to be of good character well

[00:13:29] I'll decide that neither directly or indirectly participating in the activities of any group or organization supporting or adhering to beliefs or tenets advocating the overthrow over the government of the United States well you

[00:13:46] could be racist back then but we you get you're not don't you're not pulling a January 6 all the traitor children you're out you can't do it they had their problems of course with all that so but so they were mostly a

[00:14:02] social club that was the whole thing it members primarily joined the Elks to be provided with entertainment liquor and food at reasonable rates how about beer at reasonable rates geez yeah oh they had a big one in Toledo Ohio

[00:14:17] they had a huge carnival Wow Wow it's like the Shriners Wow yeah they do charitable things you just go there and really drink beer and probably have fundraisers or whatever the town needs I guess I don't know if you're an Elk I'm

[00:14:41] gonna go try to join one I don't know they said I looked it up online I looked up the price and you can join if you're a single woman I guess before I had to

[00:14:49] come with my yeah what about childless cat ladies for a long time they've been criticized for excluding blacks Jews Italians women atheists and others well who's left who do you like just I mean yeah we just like white guys oh they

[00:15:15] even barred membership to both Bolsheviks right that's so so yeah but there's some notable here was some presidents who were Elks for Warren Harding Franklin Roosevelt Harry Truman what what's Missouri what what he was part of Lodge 26 in Missouri yeah shout out Dwight Eisenhower

[00:15:40] John F. Kennedy he was in the Boston Oh trick Harry Truman was in the Kansas City one John F. Kennedy was in the Boston Massachusetts Lodge 9 Gerald Ford of course Grand Rapids he was in Michigan Lodge 48 a lot of governors and then I

[00:16:00] don't know these people then one vice president never even heard of this guy his guy is this guy's we had a vice president named Albin W Barkley Albin a B a LB and Albin Barkley it sounds like some sort of feed at the feed store no

[00:16:18] no I got to pick up some Barkley some Alvin Barkley let me move some of this so there you go termites you know if you're young go down there cuz you can get cheap beer just tell them you love America salute the flag you know get

[00:16:34] yourself a $2 long neck where else could you beat the prices and then you'll meet some old people maybe they'll help you with a job or you never know old people got all kinds of shit going on go talk to the old people they have good shit

[00:16:46] going on whenever we learn something today yep moose Elks it says Elks E L K s what Elks what do you think is plural for elk Elksy DC what's Canadian just elk we're allowed to say Elks well you need to take the reins up there and

[00:17:13] start saying what's the proper thing cuz that's the proper thing yeah Elks or Elks it's again or again but not really that's different but you know what I mean Cincinnati to let me tell you the Taft Theatre there it's so awesome

[00:17:34] and downtown I really want to thank the people who came well in both but Cincinnati I don't know I would have been like oh man Luke Holmes was down there the Hall of Fame Reds baseball game thing I mean it was so crowded that

[00:17:52] parking was 50 bucks I know I mean it was crazy I said Michael the opener I'm like you better leave early dude you have no idea what's going on down here right now it is a shit show of proportions I that so extra extra shout

[00:18:07] out to everybody who did that cuz that was just crazy the shows were great both of them I mean so funny and I thought well I'm gonna say this is a hallmark town with a little bit of meth and if they laugh then I know they have a

[00:18:18] really good sense of humor and if they take it personally I'll just move on from those kind of jokes and they laugh their asses off it is it's just a little methy I think kovat let some of the meth ease crawl into these towns but it's

[00:18:30] still not overrun by the meth ease well West Virginia is right there and I'll be going to Morgantown West Virginia so let's not throw all of West Virginia under the bus I'll never forget I did this snow I did a ski resort once in

[00:18:46] West Virginia me and my friend Scott Kennedy I did comedy on at this ski resort it was called snowshoe West Virginia yeah it was super fun and they called it the only upside-down ski resort in the world because all the

[00:18:57] condos and stuff are at the top of the mountain instead of the bottom cuz Scott dipped like he loved his tobacco dip right and he's like well if you need anything cigs or anything this is the last stop before we get up there we

[00:19:11] don't come back down I'm like what do you mean we don't come back down we're gonna be up there for a week he's like we're not this is it so yeah he had like

[00:19:19] 12 cans of dip I'm like how much of that shit do you eat all day holy Christ but the crowd on like Wednesday it was like a Tuesday through Sunday gig and on there was a guy he's probably still there named Roy who called himself the

[00:19:33] director of fun he would ski around in a rabbit outfit all day and then at night he was the MC for the comedy show I swear to God he had a giant rat it wasn't even Easter I don't I don't know that's probably the only thing you could

[00:19:48] find I don't know but the crowd the crowds like Tuesday and Wednesday weren't the super sharpest and Roy goes yeah sometimes during the week they're not real with it but you know on the weekends to be great everybody from

[00:20:03] Cincinnati comes I'm like oh you think just over there is gonna I'm just waiting on Ohio boy can we raise the IQ in this town in this club and get some Ohio folks in it I don't know why that made me laugh so hard I'm like you just

[00:20:17] threw a whole state under a bus director fun yeah he was yeah mm-hmm I know I was like that makes sense if it was Easter no a pink bunny rabbit suit and he was

[00:20:32] tall so all right so Queen news well what for just for this week this lady gets to be a queen this is not somebody I I've ever even talked about I honestly did not know she was still alive there is an old old lady golfer her name's

[00:20:51] Joanne Karner she's Australian her nickname is big mama well but she's not you know she's not fat or nothing she's just a like a bigger lady yeah I don't know um she's an 85 year old smoker chain smokes somebody asked her did she

[00:21:11] think she was gonna go to try and qualify for the US Women's Senior Open in Pittsburgh so she got her ass to Pittsburgh somehow this year and somebody said um are you gonna go hit the range after your round she's like no I'll be

[00:21:26] at the bar if anyone needs and she still got her cigs she said she tried to quit she can't well 85 years old I sent this to Lou because Lou happens to be up in Portland Maine with our friend Peter and Sandy and Peter's giving Lou golf

[00:21:41] lessons and I said I don't care how many lessons you take I want you to know there's an 85 year old lady who chain smokes and she just shot 80 twice 80 she's 85 she shoots below her age that's amazing well if you don't golf

[00:21:59] par is 72 so that was only 8 over par and just smokes the whole time she has won 43 events on tour 43 tournaments um she's still out there puffing this year from 121 woman field the only a top 50 players will she did not make the cut

[00:22:24] but well she was like 15 over between the two days or whatever but like the leaders were like it wasn't that great like two under the youngsters she joked because there's a lot of stairs in the locker room at this place called Fox

[00:22:41] Chapel she said she might quit smoking this week just because of the stairs just for that she's trying to quit to improve her distance off the and she's trying to she's still aiming to improve her distance off the tee she could

[00:22:52] still hit it 210 off the tee which is by the for the record how about how far I hit it 210 the youngster children the children they can hit it like 300 the girls yeah like it's amazing um she's she it I sent her Lewis the video of her

[00:23:09] swing and I said Lewis you're not even close do you know how far you tell Peter you want to be able to be Joanne Karner who's 85 and chain smokes and drinks she got a lesson last week to help she's the oldest player to ever compete in a USGA

[00:23:27] championship she shot her age or better six times at the US senior open she uses a golf cart without walking with walking hills to get give it too difficult giving her COPD she's out there with COPD get out there Lewis so

[00:23:41] congratulations to her that's a wonderful story and for those of us who have smoked or if you people still smoking there's a little hope for you mm-hmm Queen News Taytay it's the children the children again gluing themselves to my

[00:24:02] god protesters block Taylor Swift motorcade as they glue themselves to the ground they attempted to block Taylor Swift from entering the stadium ahead of her show in Warsaw first of all children what you don't understand is

[00:24:15] the money that Taytay has she could land a helicopter on top of her town car and leave that way there's no you're not gonna stop Taytay it's not and you know

[00:24:25] what yes she uses a private jet but look at what she does for a city when she gets there now is that worth the price of the carbon footprint I vote yes is that

[00:24:33] worth the fuel yes would she be able to fly on a regular plane and not get mob no so you know some people I give a pass to um I don't give it to Harry and Meghan no the activists cited concern over her private use just usage as

[00:24:50] motivation noting that the richest 1% of the people in the world billionaires like Taylor are responsible for co2 emissions as the poorest two-thirds of humanity about 5 billion people according to the statement okay but she

[00:25:04] does a lot of good when she gets there that's why I would tell the children there's a lot of other rich people that maybe shouldn't be flying around in these private jets go glue yourselves to their road yeah well I won't get his

[00:25:15] money we can't afford the super-rich that's what they said they glued themselves to the concrete eventually they were removed safely well why do that just ripped her asses up rip their jeans off this is this was in Poland I

[00:25:32] mean well the children this is not how you're gonna be successful that's all okay they said they didn't want to do her harm they just wanted a bubble but well whatever you've been arrested have fun with the rest of your day I hope you

[00:25:50] bill money update oh I don't have no wait I do have only yeah cuz Stevie's coming back and no I have King news cuz Snoop has been killing it in the Olympics I read he's making 500 million 500,000 a day worth it worth it it's

[00:26:11] been the highlight of the Olympics that mean aside from the athletes but as far as the extracurricular shit goes Snoop and then him and Martha Stewart riding around in a golf cart and I said you know the average person because there's just

[00:26:24] preconceived notion about people if you looked at Snoop and Martha and said which one of those was in prison more recently most people would not probably say the 83 year old Martha Stewart no they look so adorable their little

[00:26:36] outfit or equestrian outfits and then he broadcast it what is it dressage or dressage I don't understand any of it I think it's ridiculous that this horse has to do all this bullshit I don't get it like here's the thing when people go

[00:26:50] oh no the horses love it well then how come they don't do it in the wild you don't see them here's the wild ponies of Arizona and they're just hopping left and right woohoo if it was something that's natural to them they would do it

[00:27:03] on their own they don't I just think it's very strange and he was great he was he's just been a wonderful and then when the gymnast all saw him in the thing they went crazy I know and Flavor Flav supporting the whole women's water

[00:27:16] it's amazing so they've been those things and he's 65 I think we talked about that last week that's been wonderful and his outfits are I don't even know how they planned all that and I think he's gonna be in a different ones

[00:27:31] for different events yeah he shows up at the pool in a different outfit and then he shows up over here he's he's an amazing person so it's flavor Flav Flavor Flav's outfits aren't quite as good I would say no it well they always

[00:27:43] look sort of um it's the clock looks a little childish all right well you can like it I don't dislike it you just can't look his whole look is just not as smooth as snoops put it that way um and then that's it

[00:28:01] Taytay's doing her shows Oh jelly roll did summer slam is that wrestling I don't I don't care for wrestling I did as a kid oh he was in did he wrestle he wrestled he threw somebody Wow all right well I didn't I just saw that he was put

[00:28:23] up a video that he was there and I was having I was having a lot of fun in Cincinnati and there were people and things to do and things to stare at and I just kind of missed that one and I was watching Snoop sorry Jelly Belly

[00:28:38] he's out on the road somewhere having fun he's got his own little tour going on Luke Holmes it was 8080 I don't know 80,000 people there mm-hmm crazy that's a lot of merch they saw a lot of shit I don't update moving on baby friend

[00:29:01] Richard Gad he's the guy who wrote it and he's the one that's in it as being stalked and I've said since this all has fallen apart I think he's full of shit I think Fiona is a stalker I think the real lady Martha her real the name is

[00:29:18] Fiona I think she absolutely is a stalker but I think he went way way beyond exaggerations and wrote whatever he wanted this is just my opinion Netflix didn't check it all out they just did it and they wrote the most

[00:29:31] dangerous words ever this is a true story period well now I don't know if Richard Gad is going to be sued or Netflix I think it will be Netflix well she does she thinks it should be both I don't necessarily disagree she doesn't

[00:29:49] sound crazy when you hear interviewed like by Piers Morgan I don't like to promote him but whatever it's the only place I could see it she doesn't sound crazy and she has a lawyer oh so they say I don't know she's gonna win there

[00:30:04] there's no way she's not gonna win and I hope it's for like a hundred million but even if it's that Netflix won't care fine what's it take what it will she take to settle 50 million hundred million it's still worth it look at all

[00:30:17] the press this thing got he now says that it is based on his emotional truth no no no no we can't nope there's one kind of truth and the truth is based on facts are these facts or are these how you felt because those are feelings

[00:30:35] Richard there's a difference between feelings and facts I cannot believe that they're letting him talk that the lawyers are letting him go on shows and shit and say all this stuff out I mean how loud she's doing for a hundred

[00:30:50] seventy million in damages and I think her name's Fiona Harvey he's saying it's the emotional truth as he remembered it oh my god can you believe it the series is emotionally true to his own life and not intended to be a beat-for-beat

[00:31:05] recounting well bullshit in the show you do a beat for you do exactly that he also initially in 2014 thought she was harmless and then after receiving thousands of emails but we know the story but this is his new thing that it

[00:31:21] it's now an emotional truth I didn't even know that was a thing um well he created a note oh he is not among the defendants it's Netflix well Richard a gad has the right to tell they needed a fact-checked it yeah anybody could write

[00:31:38] anything and say this happened to me in Netflix if you don't go check it out and then you air it and it's the person I mean no oh my god emotionally true I the shit people can come up with my truth is a bullshit statement because

[00:31:57] there is a truth and this is why I can't stand states that have no-fault divorces like no it's somebody's goddamn fault just because a judge got tired of you people bitching and tired of listening to it because it's so boring well then

[00:32:10] he did that and I saw him playing with his lady some judge in these states that have it I think they went you know what we're not doing this anymore 50-50 nobody's fault get out of here just get out we're moving on to adoptions or

[00:32:24] crimes or whatever else is on the docket today we're not listening it's somebody's fault because there's facts and we got to find the facts and sometimes when you can't find the facts you go okay we'll never know the truth but we do

[00:32:36] know the truth in that one it's just bump word salad garbage update five of the just stop oil protesters jailed for climbing gantries to block the m25 that's the big highway over there they were trying to cause gridlock that's

[00:32:57] what their whole thing was yeah if they got hit they would sue or and then they'd call an ambulance with taxpayers dollars right how about that they each got two years George Simison and Teresa Higginson two years Paula Bell 22 months

[00:33:19] Gail and Paul so-and-so 20 for the protest in 2022 now it's a long time you want to go to prison for that for two years yeah they're not kidding that yeah they were the just stop oil people look I'm sorry I had to do this but I

[00:33:36] really we really have no other options they don't listen to the scientists they didn't listen to kids so we had to disrupt cause disruption or to communicate the seriousness of humanity's predicament everybody knows a deal well not everybody anybody is paying attention knows it there's just

[00:33:54] nothing we can do about it until somebody comes up with the alternative form that's easy-peasy and ready to go you know yeah I don't even know enough to talk that much on it but I know you can't cause this kind of shit on a

[00:34:06] highway what if people are pregnant and going to hospital have a baby what if I got my dad stroking out in a car like you do they don't even think of that shit it's just all about them like and what they want people to hear and what

[00:34:18] they feel should be done but you're not thinking about society no like what are you doing I'm never running for office oh my god I couldn't even stay awake when I was a journalism student I had to go to these um meetings in downtown

[00:34:32] st. Louis about who was gonna get the cable TV contracts I fell asleep so many times I couldn't even write this story like anything like that politics or school board meetings or can be yeah I'm just in the back on anybody want to go

[00:34:48] get a smoke let's get out of here no I got some whiskey in the car up day Wisconsin man charged with fleeing to Ireland to avoid prison term for his capital riot roll yep he fled to Ireland and sought asylum to avoid a prison

[00:35:04] sentence for joining the mobs attack over three years ago this is what this guy thought would be a good idea the filing charges Paul Kovac Kovac Kovac with defying court orders to surrender and serve three but he only had to go to

[00:35:19] prison for three months and he fucking panicked it ran away three months I was in last comic standing longer than that man up I was in a reality prison house with a couple comedians I didn't even like um he he he's 56 years old he was

[00:35:42] arrested last month after he voluntarily returned for the United States from Ireland he's serving a sentence at a federal prison in Chicago is now scheduled to be released on September 8th I mean it's barely half the summer yeah

[00:35:54] grow up Paul a conviction on a new misdemeanor could lead to more time behind bars yeah you're gonna get in trouble because you ran away dumb shit yeah he said he decided to withdraw his asylum claim and returned to the United

[00:36:06] States because he felt homesick yeah he took videos as he ran through the Capitol here we go oh he uploaded them on to use on YouTube page holy god treason against the United States is about to be committed these were the

[00:36:22] titles of his videos God Almighty he called himself a political prisoner inside his luggage they found documents related to his asylum request the affidavit didn't say what the Irish government had acted upon his request

[00:36:36] yet yeah well he's back now you're gonna be in prison longer because you ran away super stupid super stupid the update I can't if there's not a new narcos I'm gonna cry and they better be working on it right now I know they're filming the

[00:36:56] guild the Gilded Age that made me happy El Chapo son that's Joaquin Guzman Lopez he denied having any deal with the United States he just happened to bring along El Mayo the 76 year old drug kingpin of the century I mean come on is

[00:37:19] this what we're telling him to say hey here's the thing Joaquin you're not gonna admit that we had a little download deal why not just say the deal and then let the other people know hey these deals are available don't be hush

[00:37:30] hush about it say it if you want the rest of I find the whole thing so stupid though El Chapo has eight kids a bunch of them are boys oh well the girls can lead too I mean there's female narcos so okay go ahead you've got

[00:37:45] Joaquin you got seven more and then how about the cousins it never stops no there's my point we're the ones buying the drugs they are like terrorites except to us do good things for the world yeah not bad things yeah and Dolly

[00:38:00] my queen has done nothing in sharing either very quiet shares memoirs coming out I know that it's hot yeah not everybody's being real productive that's for sure I just think you should let it be known if you're into this I mean

[00:38:15] we're the ones buying the drugs if we quit buying them they got they have no customers we need to stop doing the drugs I don't necessarily blame the salesman because we'd figure you know what you if you don't get that from them

[00:38:26] they're gonna make it here now we've got meth labs blowing up and the next thing you know your your Hallmark town is blown to pieces blowing this shit yep let's let them make it you take the risk on that fentanyl

[00:38:37] lab we don't want to do that he's saying he has if so how did he get it how did he get the old man then if he if there wasn't a deal why would he do that

[00:38:49] right he's claiming not guilty he showed up in the El Paso courtroom the old man did too he's 76 he pleaded not guilty to all of his charges I don't know I mean I don't think they should be doing what they're doing but I think that's

[00:39:10] Mexico's area yeah you know we're worth that whole show Narcos I'm like why are we there I don't I don't even it just seems like a fruitless thing even if you do it there's an after El Chapo there's another one there's eight more of his

[00:39:27] own kids that's just his kids imagine the ones that want the gig that aren't even their cousins first cousin second cousins holy Jesus all right oh well let's talk about what we're watching because I think I I did not care about

[00:39:46] NSYNC or Backstreet Boys I'm too old I know you cared paddles yeah who did you like better Backstreet Boys or NSYNC NSYNC okay that deaf leopard that is not the category we're dealing in on this Jeopardy episode paddles it's not

[00:40:05] favorite rock bands of all time it's boy bands and then you had to explain all this to me so Justin was Timberlake was in NSYNC is that correct yes and then my sister liked a guy once because he looked like Joey from New Kids on

[00:40:22] the Block okay tell me one song who sings bye bye bye bye baby that one oh that's NSYNC what did the Backstreet Boys sing tell me one thing I wanted that way okay I know that tell me why and what about New Kids what do they think

[00:40:51] Hangin' Tough okay my younger sister liked all of them all of them I was working I've been working in a restaurant since I was 15 I know it's 13 really I never paid attention to this shit anyway on Netflix right now it's

[00:41:15] called Dirty Pop and it's the story of Lou Pearlman who was the creator of manager everything of these of these boy band things right not of New Kids on the Block right he realized after New Kids on the Block he should start

[00:41:33] creating them and then he did this factory in Florida where he and these boys really can sing it is amazing like when you see him I always thought it was all just you know auto-tuned or whatever and they're just cute and then you put

[00:41:43] the right combo we need the blonde kid we need you know whatever the dark-haired kid above above well it's the story of Lou Pearlman this is how out of out of reach I am on this first of all I thought for sure he was a pervert like

[00:41:57] and everybody's like no well I just thought he got in trouble for it I mean I wasn't judging him I just thought I heard that and I also thought he stole tons of money from them and that that's why he had ever going to prison and that

[00:42:15] is not why he ended up going to prison this show is really good it's all yeah it's three one-hour episodes I learned a shit ton he created a Ponzi scheme he was a Bernie Madoff and he was using the bands as a cover which is really crazy

[00:42:32] to go that far and I mean he had private jets he had this giant mansion on Orlin he had everything right there teenagers they have no say but I mean they got their parents to give him money it was a whole he created millions of

[00:42:47] forged documents like who has the time for that like you're supposed to be managing these boy bands and flying all over the globe and hanging out with all these famous people well worth a watch on Netflix even if you don't really I

[00:42:59] don't really care about NSYNC or any of those I was just curious as to what I knew the guy went to jail and I knew he died in jail but I didn't know what

[00:43:08] exactly he did and so I watch it and I'm giving five stars and short they didn't make it longer than it needed to be the other one that I just absolutely love and binge the entire thing Vikings Valhalla oh and I'm gonna cry they say

[00:43:24] there's no season four yeah but then how am I gonna know what happened to leaf Erickson you making me google that you're gonna make me go look it up some of its historically accurate no but I mean that I want to see leaf make it to

[00:43:37] America by accident and what happens to free I say freed out like from Apple it's not free that's for free free yes Freddie's it's too hard anyway if you liked the other Vikings it was just as good it was great loved it loved it so

[00:43:55] there's my two top go get it on that Vikings Valhalla I also think was on Netflix I think but you should really see the other Vikings first you don't have to it's not critical and it's not necessary but it makes it more fun I

[00:44:12] think holy shit they found it this is really cool a message in a bottle found at a Jersey Shore could be the oldest ever and included an unbelievable extra discovery a message in a bottle found in the sand at Ocean City New Jersey can be

[00:44:31] the oldest ever discovered Amy Smith Murphy 49 years old was strolling through the Corsons Inlet State Park over the fourth of July when she discovered an antiquated green cork bottle containing what appeared to be a business card from 1876 and a handwritten note yeah she said she

[00:44:48] believes that the bottle which bears the words bar and brother Philadelphia a business from the mid 1800s was tossed into the water about a hundred and forty six years ago or ten years before the message holding container found in

[00:44:59] us that's ten years before the message containing holder was found in Australia in 2018 that currently holds the Guinness Book of Records so this won't be ten years older than that she was talking to that she said she applied to

[00:45:18] have the bottle vetted by the Guinness World Book of Records one of the papers inside the bottle appeared to be a business card for William G and J Clem a pair of brothers William and John Clem who ran a gentleman's furnishing goods

[00:45:30] company in Philadelphia until 1881 according to the Philadelphia Inquirer's newspaper archives another paper inside contained a reference to a yacht called the Neptune which was docked in Atlantic City in the late 1800s and captioned by Samuel Gale Gale may have lived in Atlantic City in in the late 1800s

[00:45:50] according to their own research she said the bottle also considered something else a bit more unsettling the smell that came out of it was unbelievable describing the odor is the bay smell times a million we were not prepared for

[00:46:03] that yeah I bet that would be really gross the discovery occurred months before a million multi-million dollar beach fill was performed in the Ocean City area which according to experts may have caused the bottle to break free

[00:46:12] from the ocean floor they dredge things up said Steve so-and-so some of them just got stirred up and float around in the ocean I think that's what happened in her case those ocean currents can do some amazing things she shared her

[00:46:25] adventures in the uncovering the bottle on posting tic-tacs videos of her family gently using toothpicks to pull the decaying papers out of the container yeah it's been really fun she said Guinness World Records did not return

[00:46:42] any of the requests for a comment they seem kind of snobby yeah yeah and I mean who's really in charge and really I'm surprised well she's 49 but young people do they even care about the Guinness World Book of Records anymore children

[00:47:02] what do we say do you care sometimes I'm surprised the children care about the Olympics you don't care about the summer if that's because you're Canadian I love the gymnastics I like track and field we've talked about there's stuff I like

[00:47:17] I don't the fake kayaking is a ridiculous we don't need to do that we're doing the surfing from Tahiti you take the kayaking and put it in Colorado or put it in Banff where there's a real river um I want bears and shit let's get

[00:47:33] outside bitches come on go in Banff where there might be a grizzly at the end of your little tricky waterfall just with a big old salmon in his mouth you better have salmon in your kayak to trick him I mean it's kind of fun to

[00:47:48] watch cuz it's super aggressive but I'd rather go down what's the river in Banff where it gets all gnarly when you can more yeah let's see people if we can do surfing from Hawaii we don't have to do kayaking in a fake swimming pool the

[00:48:07] shoot is cool I like when they shoot him blast him I don't well and I do a joke in my act some of these badminton I mean here's the thing how did you first know

[00:48:17] you were good at that like it's not something that's put I don't know maybe in Asia it's played a lot more in public like here here you'd have to go why didn't they got I didn't know I was any good at badminton and then I went to

[00:48:32] this family reunion and I just smoked everybody came down to me and my aunt Nan and I just blasted her doors off and it's just so I don't know I can't count that are you an Aerosmith fan people after Def Leppard I liked devil ever

[00:48:57] they were fine um Aerosmith I like them too I know I'm a no on Bon Jovi the lyrics are so basic they make my brain want to explode in 50,000 pieces well the Jersey termites can comment on they want I like Bruce Springsteen

[00:49:16] doesn't mean it has nothing to do with them personally just a band just a band from there I couldn't his lyrics he's cute cute as a devil yeah mm-hmm oh I think he's cute with the short hair Jim now that's great I think he's even cuter

[00:49:33] yeah I don't know who wrote those songs but the lyrics could have used just an upgrade maybe we could get to you know a 21 year old Aerosmith cancels tour retires from live performing and heartbreaking move after Steven Tyler

[00:49:49] suffers both suffered vocal injury very sad all the bands are getting old yeah yeah his vocal cords were left injured and bloodied after show in 2023 and he learned later that he had fractured fractured his larynx I didn't know you

[00:50:08] could fracture a larynx or fracture it for that matter yeah Dax I'll know they posted a statement on Instagram on Friday featuring the unfortunate news that there be no more future performances yeah the band was they were

[00:50:24] oh my god they were set out playing 40 dates across the United States they were supposed to go in September attention all older bands there are 40 open gigs 40 I repeat 40 open arenas can you sell a minimum of 10,000 tickets if so please

[00:50:42] send in your form to old band fallout.com it was 1970 when a spark of inspiration became Aerosmith blah blah blah what's been around there and then they continued we always wanted to continue blowing your mind Steven's

[00:51:00] voice is an instrument like no other he spent months tightly working to get it back but it can't be that's too bad so if you saw him last time I know my friend Ron saw him in Vegas he went twice he liked it so much best fans on

[00:51:15] the planet they say play our music loud and now you've made our dreams come true if you bought tickets I'll be automatically refunded those who purchased tickets from seat geek seat geek StubHub and others will have to

[00:51:27] contact those sellers that's when it gets hairy if you I know people like when I had a postpone the ones because of my dad if you if you if you bought them from anywhere other than the site my well if you go to my site it takes you

[00:51:42] to the official link of where the theater tickets are if you don't like my sister go why are tickets $450 in Omaha what they're not no well that's what Holly said well well and I've been tricked I got tricked um at a New York

[00:52:03] the Banksy thing cuz I I thought I hit the thing that was the thing I get being tricked too but if you don't go to the person's official whether it's the band or the comedian or whatever their site will lead you to the one that's a

[00:52:14] fish one otherwise you're on geek seat geek that's okay StubHub is okay until you know you start trying to get the money back for the thing and the thing I don't know I did a master's practice well oh yeah then my dad was sick and I

[00:52:31] couldn't go and I got him off StubHub it was a mess if you can get him off the real site if you can't just know it's gonna be weird yeah it's gonna be weird

[00:52:41] he's 76 years old by the way yeah he's still very cute yeah yeah but that's it so if this was your thing um it's over still summertime so guess what we're gonna talk about vacationing a little

[00:53:12] bit more yep this is I want to go I know I haven't had enough time off this year but I have plans for next year I want to go to places that I think are going to

[00:53:27] sink that's my thing and I'm really serious I think the water's rising in the United States I just had on the weather channel my favorite channel downstairs and Charleston and Savannah they're Savannah they're warning the

[00:53:42] worst rain event in a thousand years Charleston is at the level of the Bay if you're in downtown Charles we keep walking I mean they're gonna get this much rain as they get in a month in a day like I knew I want like I'm afraid

[00:53:56] Charleston New Orleans Venice being one I think it's gonna sink like not literally sink but it's not gonna be as accessible in I don't know 20 years I mean I'll probably be dead by then but I'd like to go before I'm dead or it

[00:54:15] sinks that's my bucket list or they're dead I want to go see the polar bears it's their dad I'm dead or it sunk a lot of things on my bucket list well Venice

[00:54:29] is one of them that's pretty easy to do the tour so they that Venice is so overcrowded with tourists they don't they've they're fucking banging their heads in walls so they came up with a tourist tax it didn't work now they're

[00:54:45] limiting tour groups yeah here's the new idea Venice's tax pilot program to combat over tourism didn't deter enough travelers the tax was raised the tax raised 2.2 million dollars over two months in tourist that continued to pour in Venice recently set a 25 person

[00:55:03] cap on tourist group and banned loudspeakers for tours okay okay plus I have phones on if you need to hear that shit we don't need I don't know if you'll look to your right PS my cousin has a restaurant to the left

[00:55:19] spaghetti that's $8 if you come between 4 and 7 and tourists have been a stuffed themselves through narrow bridges and mobs they scramble to stop grounds of people posing for selfies in front of canal they've sacrificed even having an inch of personal space just to be in

[00:55:38] public and so do locals over tourism plagues the historic city that wasn't built to serve millions of people each year this is the problem wait do you see the next one that's why in April Venice just introduced a tourist tax pilot

[00:55:51] program daytrippers could purchase tickets for five euros or about five dollars and forty cents online at boost at the city's entry points well that's not enough no I mean I don't mean to be an asshole but if you made it all the

[00:56:06] way to Venice you have ten if you got five you got ten Oh 25 what if they're young people they might not have 25 me and my cousin Mary backpacked when we were at 17 18 19 we didn't always have that save up that's what killer bees

[00:56:25] would say he's all community you could be so mean um you could you got fined if you didn't pay it between 50 and 300 euros or about 54 to 324 dollars the trial fee enacted on 29 peak days was meant to deter did deter tourists

[00:56:48] rather than raise money well no they all paid it because you made it too cheap but not everyone thought it was a good idea many locals thought the fee went against basic travel freedoms and was too low to yes to deter tourists

[00:57:01] and 500 people 500 people protested the tax on on one day the ticket is a failure as demonstrated so they've now enacted another rule to mitigate over tourism setting a 25 person cap on tourist groups Jesus how big were these

[00:57:18] groups to begin with really you mean like somebody would bring 50 people from Ireland or you know tourists oh oh if you're in a group of 26 or more you could face a fine from 27 bucks at 500 who's gonna do that though that's the

[00:57:38] thing enforcing it it's like an HOA who's gonna really enforce that shit nobody the cap does not apply to children under two and anyone under two and anyone traveling for educational purposes such as a field trip they also

[00:57:52] ban loudspeakers for tour groups to avoid disrupting other pedestrians yeah these rules apply to three nearby islands as well Burano Murano and Torcello from Venice and other hotspots like Amsterdam and Barcelona over tourism seems to be getting worse this year as locals protest visitors and

[00:58:12] government block views of popular sites travelers can help mitigate the issue by visiting oh I'm supposed to go to lesser-known countries that actually want tourists okay well who's that no sorry you got the reputation Greece got

[00:58:31] super ugly this summer they call it the worst season ever on quote Instagram island well it's like the bachelorette party I ran into out in the in the in the hillbilly land I had to go down dirt road gravel roads I saw Confederate

[00:58:46] place I saw flags I didn't even couldn't identify those are more terrifying where I'm like wow why is there a Cobra holding a bush light what the fuck is that flag yeah and it's on top of the Confederate flag it ranks above the state of

[00:58:59] Tennessee above but these instead these girls from Salt Lake City found the same kayaking River I did and I asked the one well the first one I asked I paddled up and I was like how'd you guys find this place you from Salt Lake City and the

[00:59:14] girl goes oh I don't know I'm just here as an invite I don't even know where I'm at I'm like that's a wonderful I wish one day of my life had been that thought

[00:59:24] free as yours is right now I'm gonna try to get I'd have to eat like a whole box of somebody's edibles they were not Mormons no they jumped right out of that van as rule breakers and white claws white claws yeah he cuts the thing said

[00:59:36] no alcohol but I had beer but I didn't want to be the first one to go hey but I also had a roll-up Yeti cooler and these dipshits forgot a cooler so they've just

[00:59:49] got boxes of white claw in their kayak getting hot and then they drank it all I'm like hot hot mango white claws delicious so this is about the island this is an island in Greece there's a volcano waiting to blow on Santorini and

[01:00:11] it's not the world-famous caldera the dazzling whitewash houses do blue dome churches and azure skies and seas of these uniquely stunning great island Creek Island put a reported 3.4 million visitors this year far outnumbering Santorini's 20,000 people live there that's it 3.4 million people are

[01:00:35] bopping it as many as 17,000 cruise ship passengers surge under the island that's the thing we got to stop with the cruise ships and you know how you stop it without permission you get to go out and wreck their peer wreck wreck the

[01:00:51] pier then they I know we're in a park fuck their parking fuck up their parking if the children can glue themselves to concrete because it a day I can fuck up a beer because a cruise ship parking but then a lot of people say well we need

[01:01:02] the cruise ships cuz that's our money but that was your deal with the devil and then you became dependent on your crack dealer the cruise ship and now you're because it's going on in Alaska too and then what was the town I read

[01:01:12] about where they're thinking about they're gonna have a town meeting about we well it's too late sorry Stevie she's fine just kind of new hat as many as 17,000 cruise ship passengers on peak days in high season

[01:01:26] heading straight to hot spots such as the capital feet and the town of somewhere else on the northern tip renowned for its renowned for its spectacular sunsets it's even their nickname Instagram Island because if it's perfectly saturated no

[01:01:40] filter splendor yep they put a visitor cap he's proposed the mayor Nikos Zorzos what a great name I am Nikos Zorzos has proposed a cap on cruise ship passengers down to 8,000 a day it's a move back by the Prime Minister

[01:01:59] they're gonna try to get it through next year anti-tourism projects have been a political flashpoint in Europe this summer with demonstrations taking place in Spain we've talked about that the Netherlands and beyond Lewis said Amsterdam was so bonkers crazy he couldn't even believe it he was very

[01:02:14] upset about it yeah because he is used to he's a little hippie so he's been going there forever and he loves it and it wasn't that crowded and now it's crowded yeah weed was legal it's the a lot of it is the cruise ships sorry to

[01:02:33] say but then the little tiny little places get dependent upon them I just go when it's not summer but I know people with kids like my sister they have to go in summer when else are they gonna go unless you take the kids out of

[01:02:48] school for a week and I think if they're getting good grades fuck it take them out of school right I ain't do I would not do what my sister did this summer I I mean it's too crowded in the mid to late 20th century Santorini was a

[01:03:02] was still a sleepy town where residents could got around on donkeys and call it cultivated tomatoes and vineyards for wine now the islands outdated infrastructures under severe pressure with the main port under particular strain unless they want a very long steep walk the cable car is the only

[01:03:20] option for cruise ship passengers to get from the old point to the city centers it's absolutely normal that you're gonna have a giant line if the cruise ships are coming all together the hotels are now more or less under 30% of normal

[01:03:32] season oh they got it you gotta stop it and I blame them the cruise ships and then figure out I also blame Instagram and I love Instagram but that's how those girls from Salt Lake City though I paddled up to numerous girls in that

[01:03:50] group trying to get information and the one was finally like oh we just found this on insta and I go okay but like I've seen a real borrella's on Instagram and I want to go there Aurora borealis or that I've seen both of them I've

[01:04:08] seen it the way you said and the way I say it and everybody wants to go there because we've all seen it it means northern lights of course it does it means large it means Elks it means Elks here's another aura borealis here we go

[01:04:32] here's something that ain't working travel wise I don't understand why it worked the first time sorry about that banging lagging Formula One sales Vegas hotel prices by half MGM executive says yep this tickets aren't selling they're

[01:04:51] not selling as well this time around hotel rates are half of what they were in 2023 well also Vegas you guys treated everybody like shit the races at 2 in the morning it got delayed because of rain then you kicked all the people that

[01:05:03] waited patiently then you kicked them out well normal people not the I mean everybody who spent a shit ton of money doing it but these aren't the the famous people there's regular people that bought a ticket and they got treated like

[01:05:15] dog shit I don't know why they would want to go back room rates at the big three meaning in this case Aria Cosmo and Bellagio their prices are going down because nobody wants to go right I well I wouldn't want to go to begin with but

[01:05:32] then seeing what a shit show the last one was yeah I can't even imagine voluntarily going yeah I'm gonna go to that no I can't in a bit of very stupid news movie God I don't watch American Idol anymore I watched like the first

[01:05:51] three four seasons after Kelly Clarkson I don't remember what season was she okay so then you only watch one season way to go with that math I didn't watch after I saw the first one so I watched one well Katy Perry this is now season

[01:06:17] 23 American Idol yeah I didn't like it when they were mean to Fantasia I don't know three or four yeah what's his face Simon didn't like her cuz she mild off at him but I liked what she said she was right he just didn't like it yeah

[01:06:35] they treat her like shit she has been on Broadway I don't know what she's doing at the moment but um yeah her voice was insane I mean great so it's crazy well Katy Perry I guess has been a judge recently she's leaving and her

[01:06:53] replacement is the one and only Carrie underpants also known as Carrie Underwood and I think Carrie is taking the gig she got well she's got to bump it up because Lainey Wilson's taking over every award show where it used to be

[01:07:10] Carrie underpants Carrie underpants go all the CMAs all those things and because I'm in Nashville half the time I am it is in my face and I'm like ooh I don't know enough about any of it I can't even tell you what Carrie underpants things

[01:07:23] except Jesus take the wheel cuz I'd make the whole song makes me laugh and I don't think that was the intent of the song it's not supposed to be funny but then me and me no it doesn't work for the Catholic cuz all the Catholics we

[01:07:37] always have a million jokes well what if he'd been drinking nobody thought about what if Donald would Jesus taking the wheel if he's been drinking like you got to ask in the car who has had how many drinks and then we'll decide who's

[01:07:47] taking the wheel like stuff like that but anyway that's the only song I know I know she's popular she does her little shit big show at resorts that casino that's all the way down at the end of the strip um I don't know I think it's

[01:08:02] because they have deemed Lainey Wilson the new queen of country for the moment for the children for the youngsters Lainey I don't know enough of it I really couldn't tell you this is good news if you that's all I got just want

[01:08:22] to let you know carry on her past gonna be the new judge if anybody cares I don't you can't even tell the difference between that between American Idol America's Got Talent I don't know the American Horror Story is way better I

[01:08:34] wish I wish it would join in with that show and then you could just actually have people do crazy things Spirit Airlines as far as summer travel this one's footage children or for people they're on budget and a tight tight

[01:08:47] budget for flying and you end up on spirit they're revamping its fare options in a major departure and it's usual no frills offering the low-cost is said it will start selling an array of premium tickets which will come with bigger perks

[01:09:02] such as well it's so you could get a bigger seat how what priority check-in snacks and Wi-Fi but see here's the thing they'll all just say they have Wi-Fi and even Delta half the time it doesn't fucking work no and then they'll

[01:09:21] go yeah well they all have a story about their plane and why it doesn't work it's not consistent I feel sorry for people with jobs like I don't really have a job I don't I can write if I think something I need to write down I

[01:09:33] can just write it on a bar napkin where all my shit is located that's my file but if you're trying to do real work and you have to fly all day some days I mean

[01:09:42] I've been out gone you know six hours total in the air and no Wi-Fi anywhere nope they will also sell tickets which come with checked bag included wrapping in a key perk which it used to make customers pay for the airline known for

[01:10:02] its rock-bottom ticket prices but charging travelers for a host of ad on fees there was this funny thing on Instagram where it's this fake video but it seems pretty real and they're mocking Spirit Airlines and they're like yeah

[01:10:14] this is the pilot a lot of airlines like to go around storms but here at spirit we just go right in them we just go straight through them now for those

[01:10:25] of you who would like to avoid the storm we have an add-on fee and you can if you want us to avoid the storm we'll see if you look you can Venmo the pilot like to

[01:10:35] charge you to go around this door anyway they'll introduce these new fares in August it comes as the struggling air carry aims to increase revenue and pressure from larger rivals who are increasingly catching in catching in on

[01:10:49] premium options so it is nice to know that if spirit is your best option you can upgrade yourself a little tiny bit I don't count the snacks as an upgrade and they don't count the Wi-Fi because half time doesn't work work it would not give

[01:11:05] details about the pricing breakdown of each fare you'll be able to book new fares which are called go big go comfy go savvy and go starting on August 16th the go big includes a big front seat snacks and drinks okay thanks thanks

[01:11:20] thanks thanks thanks one carry-on bag and one check bag among other perks the big front seat features in enhanced comfort with wider seats I wonder how they did all this on the sneaky how'd you just replace all these seats and still

[01:11:37] keep all these planes flying in the middle of the night yeah spirit you can see right where they painted over fun jet where'd you get these planes hmm hmm hmm do you go get that one out of the Everglades what was that like smile fun

[01:11:56] times or whatever the crash in the Everglades oh my god oh you get additional seat cushioning well it's like Southwest now you basically sitting on an IKEA piece of plywood that they've put some sort of fabric over so

[01:12:11] I think what they do is they downgrade all the seats and then they put the other ones back the way they used to be in charge of more for that that's my opinion the go fair will offer one personal item on board allow customers

[01:12:24] to buy check bags seat selection and Wi-Fi there they're making it there and this is what Southwest is gonna have to do you got to start figuring out how to make more money than your basic fare and you've already pimped every other

[01:12:37] thing out you did the check back Ryan air which is the southwest of Europe particularly Ireland they were gonna charge for the bathroom I don't think they did I don't Google it giglet I don't think they did I think the people

[01:12:52] got too pissed they did in 2010 did they take it away one hour or less you had a one euro oh my god is that worth it no oh you got a pee right now I'm gonna

[01:13:16] need 82 cents do you have it no well then just wet your pants here's a little something for summertime speaking of vacationing and getting out that getting out and about if you see purple paint while you're hiking do you know what

[01:13:32] that means paddles on a tree you better run for your life if you see purple paint there are 19 states I didn't know this where if you see purple paint on trees or fence posts while out walking you should leave immediately that's

[01:13:46] because the purple paint denotes private property in these areas which means you are trespassing and could open yourself up to criminal prosecution what I'm a little more afraid of homemade unidentified flags right then I am of

[01:13:59] purple paint but I guess I they could probably shoot me yeah I'm more afraid of getting shot than arrested I can deal with that what's more in a country where citizens have a constitutional right to own guns disregarding these

[01:14:12] markings could put your life in serious danger states that have the purple paint laws well here's everybody that should pay attention I've been in the woods a zillion billion times I've never seen purple paint on a tree never Alabama

[01:14:26] Arkansas Florida Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Missouri oh never seen it New Hampshire North Carolina Pennsylvania South Carolina Tennessee never seen it Texas West Virginia and West Virginia important to note though to North Carolina Virginia West Virginia purple paint is not for

[01:14:48] dissuading criminal trespassers it's solely to use to notify people that they are not allowed to fish or hunt in the marked area they thought this they thought the paint was more effective than putting up signs that could be

[01:14:59] stolen or defaced yeah but I could take an axe and take your purple paint if I'm hiking with an axe I just ax your tree apart well if you're pissed you're pissed you'll do anything you can Kentucky is the most recent state to

[01:15:14] allow landowners use for a Democratic governor Andy Beshear signed the bill 118 in April it's unclear why called purple became that color well I mean I wouldn't want to see red I would red and blue mix America America Idaho Montana

[01:15:31] Nevada rely on orange paint to alert trespassers well yeah we should get together on this can't we have a state meeting it's easy we're not gonna argue let's just pick a color pick a color out of a box I didn't know that though and

[01:15:48] I've hiked a million places yeah God that but then you're like if you got on a trail I mean I'm not hiking off trails so maybe these people are hiking off trails like when my brothers and they all go hunting they're just hiking in

[01:16:03] the I thought they knew where they're going maybe they don't I don't know okay this one's good we're gonna we're gonna talk about Harry and Meghan in a minute but first we're gonna talk about do you have a favorite fast food for breakfast

[01:16:22] and egg McMuffin huh well America does not agree with you we're trying to find the best breakfast sandwich in America and these people did a survey this includes everything Starbucks um I like it's fattening so I don't do it often

[01:16:49] but at McDonald's I will go for the bacon egg and cheese on the biscuit yeah I feel like that thing an egg McMuffin comes on my teeth don't meet right so I don't have a very good bite and it's like spongy what is that thing an English

[01:17:06] muffin yeah I don't it's very spongy the biscuits delicious just even a plain biscuit I could throw out the rest of this shit it's good a crumpet god I'll never forget I was at some fancy golf course in South Carolina with Lewis and

[01:17:25] this eight-year-old came into the breakfast buffet and goes mommy I don't want a crumpet I'm like I didn't even know what one was I was 50 fuck you you little rat bastard okay um I'm sure he was a nice child I just didn't see that

[01:17:40] part of him yeah bitch it about a crumpet Luke couldn't stop laughing crumpet Jesus Christ doesn't he see there's other things here at the buffet stop so this is America's best breakfast sandwich in a new poll McDonald's

[01:17:57] Dunkin Donuts and Wendy's often buy for the best oh I don't know is Wendy's good I never had their breakfast well a little-known chain has beat them all it's called Biscuitville I know now here's the weird thing I have seen those

[01:18:17] on the road North Carolina but I didn't know what they were so I didn't know and then I thought I did kind of see a breakfast deal but was already lunchtime I'm like well not well it's never too late for a biscuit but I don't know I

[01:18:33] just wasn't I thought I was thinking of a cheeseburger Del Taco came in second breakfast Jack-in-the-box came in third when last year's runner-up McDonald's slipped to fourth paddles get up there you're letting you're letting the Ronald

[01:18:49] down you're letting him down who doesn't love a delectable biscuit based breakfast with locations here's where they're at Virginia North Carolina South Carolina okay good to know Biscuitville's fresh baked biscuits can be enjoyed under number some simple egg bacon egg or cheese or fried biscuits fried chicken

[01:19:09] biscuits to more elaborate breakfast sandwiches like their spicy chicken and jalapeno pimento cheese biscuit why bother getting up because that's gonna put you right back to bed here's a whole tablespoon of pimento cheese because it's so good you're gonna be tempted to eat it all and then it's

[01:19:30] gonna sit there like a hot rock in your stomach yeah then so Biscuitville if you're in one of the termites I know I have North Carolina termites yeah you guys report in tell me what to get cuz I'm coming to North Carolina and South

[01:19:47] Carolina not too far away oh they don't know that yet did I not say that am I not supposed to say that out loud well I didn't say where just somewhere in those states I know I'm coming well somewhere in 2025 I'm gonna find biscuit with

[01:20:05] breakfast platters and sides of grits all the upgrades oh wow it's no wonder folks return again and again again the North Carolina breakfast staple dates back to 1966 in Burlington they had two stores under the banner of Mountain

[01:20:20] Brook fresh bread and milk nine years later the first actual Biscuitville open in 1975 in Daniel Dan Danville Virginia and North Carolina locations afterwards there now more than 50 of them Wow Wow I'm gonna see if they have lunch and

[01:20:35] stuff this year KFC and Del Taco were something of dark horses neither of them appeared in the top previous top ten but this time around only they made the list but they soared to the top Taco Bell it will expand its use of artificial

[01:20:47] intelligence voice tolerant technology it is drive-thru I don't care um I mean it'll be faster that's good I guess well does Biscuitville have lunch spam they sell spam like I can spam oh yeah I don't know what all that just breakfast

[01:21:19] steak and cheese is that a breakfast item English muffins okay I can look at all this later but we're moving on congratulations Biscuitville congratulations North South Carolina and Virginia boom damn I was just in

[01:21:33] Virginia shit well I'm trying to think of the places I can say out loud that I'm going where's that list again it's gotta be yeah Spartanburg South Carolina I'm going there well I'm gonna go get some there yeah Wilmington North

[01:21:52] Carolina I know I said two of them all right October it's Biscuitville time let's talk about Harry and Megan everyone who listens to this podcast probably knows my feelings on Megan and Harry I believe they're gonna become

[01:22:06] what was his name his great-uncle was it Edward Wallace Simpson yeah you can't quit you can quit but you're not gonna be what you used to be no one won't care about you after a while cuz you're no longer royal well they were on so I

[01:22:31] went through my TV like recording things that are on permanent record like what do I record on that well for some reason CBS Sunday morning was on there and I called Lewis I go did you set my TV to permanently record CBS Sunday morning

[01:22:48] it's like Jane Pauly I mean it's nice but it's he goes yes because I like to talk about it and you always say you don't watch it he fucking set my God anything so now I get home from the road and I will watch it if there's something

[01:23:02] that seems like to catch my eye but it's the way they tell the stories I think Lou finds it comforting because it's old-timey and there is a place for that where Jane Pauly ago today we have a story it's all very well she had Harry

[01:23:18] and Megan on because now they've come up with an idea that they're gonna do and it's for parents a parent's network if a parent loses a child or a child becomes negatively affected from social media they're gonna have this network

[01:23:31] but really all they did was like open up yeah and meanwhile they have the biggest bullying the Sussex squad anytime something is written about them the Sussex squad comes to the defense they're clearly a paid but a paid shit

[01:23:44] ton of bots and people that then attack the royal family and attack it's a game you can watch it all unfold on but Harry was not into it I watched the segment he looked completely disengaged she how many ideas how much shit can you

[01:24:00] throw it a wall and nothing sticks the American River or orchard thing they sent out a jar of jelly to 50 people and only two posted it the Spotify deal got nixed think some but the lead guy called them quote fucking grifters kicked them off

[01:24:15] 150 grand boom million gone so then a new one supposed to be on lemonada oh I guess that's how you say it or a lemonade uh if you're in the Midwest it's a podcast network they've decided to join up but the thing is okay but

[01:24:30] what are you gonna talk about I have a job of reporting dumb shit and I love it this is the work of the Lord this is why I get up every day and pour beer into the baby cat brewery Kensington Maryland glass I have uh you know what

[01:24:45] do you to do except bitch and then she started the victim shit again on the job about being suicidal that that that that all those things are worthy to talk about right time right place but you've already talked about him we got to move

[01:24:56] on now I don't know who's advising them I would go no no no no more victim shit we're not I don't believe it either and I think he's just a spoiled little brat and he's been pissy and moany for and bitchy unless he gets exactly what he

[01:25:11] wants then he's happy pants run around the globe dress up like a Nazi for Halloween whatever you're gonna do Harry I don't know I just cannot believe but then the ultimate are you shit me so that was bad and I don't and she didn't

[01:25:25] like it cuz so they had parents who sadly their kids have been affected and some committed suicide from social media stuff bullying and all that but they're only like oh look to be about 20 people are yeah and Jane goes I love that Jane

[01:25:41] she's 73 years old and maybe because it's Sunday morning I'd be tired too her eyes are kind of half closed a lot and she's just like well it's a modest beginning what you've started I thought Meg is I just went wow I'm like you just

[01:26:01] basically call this a failure and and then somehow she works that back to her own suicide attempt like thoughts she didn't attempt suicide but her that she was so suicidal that one day because nobody was being nice to her in the

[01:26:15] magic kingdom or whatever they call but now they say they won't go back to England because they can't have security right grandpa Charles grandpa Chuck says nene on the security we're not providing it you're not royal anymore

[01:26:32] you're just people coming back here I also think it's bizarre that they are so convinced everyone wants to kill them the more you say that the more I want you know people might go you know what these two need I'm rubbing my back like a cat

[01:26:43] I have a terrible itch I know I feel like one of the cats rubbing against a child this cat lady here um the never this is the crazy thing they're gonna go to Colombia what the country on a royal on a tour what are you touring as you're

[01:27:01] no longer royal dipshits the dipshit tour the ex-royal dipshit so you think Columbia's safer than England I mean and they said you know they quit being royal it was their own decision they were told they would lose security they had a year

[01:27:20] to change their minds during that year they lost their security and could have changed their minds but no they did not change your mind does he think it's his father's job to coddle him oh yes he does yes he's made that quite clear um so

[01:27:31] they're heading to the country of Colombia to go on some and see if you go out of the United States you don't have to have the paperwork to show who paid for everything these people pay for it right who's paying for your your $20,000

[01:27:46] room at the hoop de ha hotel and yeah I just I don't I can't believe like Jane Pauly I don't expect somebody who's 73 year old three years old to know this but Megan and Harry have a million people online that are that are bots

[01:28:04] clear an army of bullying things so you'd have to be got to call him out on this and go what about but nobody unless you have a job like mine you would have to be involved in social media or you're younger and this is your past

[01:28:16] time you would not know that and then know to call him out on their bullshit and go what's bullying come on let's look at the sausage squad omid hoop de ha whatever that guy's name is yeah they're going to crime-ridden

[01:28:29] Colombia despite the bust up with the royal family over UK security Colombian vice president Francia Marquez confirmed the news Thursday that police who announced Harry and Megan the Duke duck and Duchess Duke the duck the duck and the

[01:28:43] duck is of suckers have kindly accepted my invitation to visit our beautiful country I mean you know I'd like to go to Bogota but you know I would think about it a little bit yeah they're gonna take part in a number of activities

[01:29:01] related to this important topic as cyber bullying online expect a an impact of threats of mental mental health they have no there I don't know who's advising them we could no no we're not doing victim sharing more stop with the

[01:29:18] victim shit we're gonna do something proactive that's positive and fun this whole sad clown shit gotta stop because you guys have abused it it's a worthwhile cause bullying online is worthwhile but not with not you two

[01:29:31] doing it no moving on but I don't think either one of them would listen anybody I'm sure they've fired a hundred and thousand fifty people who had good ideas of hey man why don't you try this you know what she let she has a beagle

[01:29:44] why don't you call that guy that's in charge of the beagle freedom project in California and make it global right how fun would that who doesn't like a picture of a beagle I love beagles I would do it if I had the time go do that

[01:29:57] go save all the beagles from the labs that they're torturing them in what upbeat well it's because this is how old I am I screenshot I screenshot ice cream I know well the rest of my font isn't like that I'd like to show this this is proof this

[01:30:23] I had a screen I screenshot my Instagram because I wanted to read this story and I it was too it's a three-parter I screenshot that and printed this out yeah well cuz you told me I can't have my phone on during this so I could read

[01:30:42] it off the phone but you say no this is why mattress Mac is one of my favorite people of all time and do not email about me about the fact that he is supportive supported Republican candidates I realize he has done that

[01:30:54] that's his prerogative but the stuff he does for good for the city of Houston and the state of Texas and he is still on Centerpointe's ass the electric people in Texas he won't let it go there's a million videos of him going

[01:31:07] that man better step down he's still yelling at the CEO and he goes what you've created is a big giant disaster blah blah anyway he he posted this I don't know where this is not about the Texas grid failing my daughter Elizabeth

[01:31:23] dr. Liz OCD launched her podcast today this is another huge day for me another huge milestone for her I remember when Elizabeth was 12 years old and we noticed a serious OCD symptoms she was exhibiting I remember when she was 15

[01:31:37] years old bawling crying begging us not to leave her at a residential inpatient clinic I remember the experts telling us to give up on her and that her level of OCD she would never live a normal life but I didn't give up her mother

[01:31:51] didn't give up her siblings didn't give up and she didn't give up we celebrated when she graduated high school then we celebrated her PhD then we celebrated when she started her own practice and when she became a nationwide advocate

[01:32:02] for OCD awareness and treatment we celebrated when she became the head of Houston's OCD Institute's one of the premier treatment centers for anxiety and OCD related disorders in the world I asked you to celebrate and listen as she

[01:32:17] has a new podcast so all your termites with OCD or anxiety it's gonna be on Spotify and Apple where we get your things it's called anxiety society yeah so good for him yes I can't be hard to picture up a teenager with OCD like that

[01:32:41] like I know for and he's very open about it Howie Mandel yeah his is really bad yeah like he takes a black light to hotels he told me about it I would never I can't even imagine what you see and then he

[01:32:55] calls down for towels extra extra towels and then he sounds like a serial killer cuz they're like why does this freak 150 towels who is he murdered up there and like he does jokes about it so he laughs about it but it's all very very

[01:33:06] real but I don't know that I've ever seen a kid a teenager like that like my my nephew has autism can be OCD ish but that's not the like dominating no yeah so anyway that's amazing good for him yeah he didn't labor this is just a

[01:33:27] couple cards I got that made me laugh this kid drew me a card he's 12 and it's Bigfoot walking by a tree and then there's the moon and his parents were like yeah he made you this card I'm gonna post it in the office it makes me

[01:33:40] laugh I don't know why yeah it's adorable it's just silly this one made me laugh because somebody made me a Snoop Dogg magnet she made this at work and that's what I like to know that you termites you don't do work while you're

[01:33:53] there let's do fun shit something that makes people laugh then a Bigfoot can opener that bottle opener that her friend makes and then there's a Missouri I looked it up too it's called the sales tax token and it's green and plastic

[01:34:07] well they don't use them anymore but back in the day so if you're they had tenths of tax like a tenth of a cent so you'd have to get two cents and then get change and shit and they made up these token things yeah and then a dolly

[01:34:26] bookmark so that was great and then I have to do my thank yous then we're gonna do quotes and we're gonna get on on your termite huh oh yeah this is a

[01:34:35] hair guy I love it it's a it's a oh yeah it's a fan look it's the Haribo bear he's flying in a jet I don't know why he's flying candy candy fan yeah and it came with hair oh forgot about the goat Marietta I already covered the

[01:35:01] dairy farms saying Veronica from Logan Ohio thank you for the beer and the napkins mark and Amanda local treats oh but I got an FBO coin like one of those ones the soldiers would give you in Iraq or something there challenge coins yeah

[01:35:17] I don't know if that's what the FBI calls them to but now I have an FBI one yeah they're hard to come by that's Scott and Christie and Canton Ohio chocolates Ben Higgies those are from Maren Mike and Jenny the mom she's gonna

[01:35:33] get them mm-hmm the Cincinnati germites Travis Michael girl might rare Haribo bears chips beers and all kinds of fun stuff lager of the lakes beer I'm gonna try that next time and a tiny big foot Ellen

[01:35:52] Laurie and Michelle big foot bottle over did that Michelle oh it's that's from Michelle who gave me that stuff that's why I love the Snoop Dogg thing local be on Apple Apple butter is Apple butter a big thing now I feel like it is in the

[01:36:04] South well Ohio's not South yeah that's Rick Brenda Jen Liz sisters and their parents pubcap friendship bracelets I wore mine on stage that night yeah and there was one that said Queen on it that the colors are super awesome I had that

[01:36:21] one on stage too I wore it on stage Indianapolis termites Samantha and Tina firecracker Baker cookies oh my god no that's those cookies that I already talked about that have my jokes on no different ones okay Becky and Mark well

[01:36:33] that's a problem when I'm Michael Palasek he's a beer monster and a sugar monster like there I have to actually say to him and it doesn't make me mad it amuses me Michael when I come back here this all can't be eaten oh okay sorry man I'm

[01:36:51] like no you can eat half of everything but you have to leave me half and the shock top pets a pretzel beer from Cheryl Shelley Monty and Marie so much stuff came backstage if I missed that I'm sorry but we tried to get it all

[01:37:03] back and sort it all out it was just and then I do leave some for the staff and they're always so excited I just go well they come back we open some beers cuz if

[01:37:12] it comes backstage before the show I can throw it in the fridge and then it's usually kind of cold but as some people actually bring coolers and give me the ice it's amazing let's do a Tay Tay quote before we get out of here this is

[01:37:35] an interview with Vogue in 2019 I can now recognize and diagnose toxic messages being sent to me by society by culture about my body I'm a woman I'm not a coat hanger okay not quite as inspirational as Dolly

[01:37:56] chill while angry there all right you're allowed to be angry let it out God this is on discussing the power of dreams in a 1990 1977 interview with Rolling Stone I ain't near where I'm going my dreams are too far to stop now

[01:38:18] because I ain't the greatest at what I do but I become greater because I believe that's inspirational I'm just gonna lay on my couch and believe and I'm just gonna grow in power and ticket sales and the next thing you know people are

[01:38:35] gonna be gluing themselves to the road to not let me in god damn it Kathleen what did Kathleen rent this week a Ford Expedition eight-cylinder you bet your ass I did is that her in a Nissan yep yep hey but look I got a lot of luggage

[01:38:55] and probably an opener act the opening act with all their bullshit in the back seat this is an economy Michael sometimes this is just a piece of information if you're traveling some of the people I should say support I

[01:39:11] shouldn't say opening acts because there are there are headliners in their own right just you know they're in clubs and stuff but Michael is so thrifty some of the guys know the road a lot better than the others and some are more sad

[01:39:21] road savvy and others not so good at it flexibility is the number one thing you just have to just roll with it and some people I just don't think can handle all that but anyway Michael rents and it's in the Nashville Airport the

[01:39:34] company's it's new ish it's called si XT 6 rental car and for a cheaper amount they give you a surprise car because every time he'd like show up at a gig I'm like what's that car Michael who do you rent from never seen such strange things

[01:39:50] I go show up in a Hummer and then a tiny little Chevy veal or some shit and then on the next one it'll be yeah because he called me once he goes hey those smoky

[01:39:59] mountains can get an electric car through there I go Mike no Michael no you maybe you could because there's a Bucky's and they have electric charging stations but I just pay the amount I'll pay I'll pay it just go get a real goddamn car don't

[01:40:13] let's not deal with oh hey my my Chevy Cheetos crunch broke down and no but then sometimes he'll have a truck like a cool truck or a Jeep yeah yeah so termites if you're on a budget surprise car I did not know Michael said it's

[01:40:31] cheaper if it's not his name is Mike Michael Palastak and you can look him up online tell me he's full of shit but that's what he told me it seems to work for him all right off I'm going to Canada I'm going to the cake to get their

[01:40:47] I can't wait to do the show I always love the Canadian crowds and it's been a hot minute since I've been up there so I am lugging t-shirts up there and I hate

[01:40:59] merch I'm doing this is an act of love because they don't get to see me that much and they wait and then I still had the baby cat shirts that you all knew I had before JD fans and then these people were like wow their timing was

[01:41:12] spectacular I'm like no I already had the shirts he's just a dumbass who helped me sell more by slamming my cat and me yeah it was never meant as a political it was just a picture of baby cat that's all um all right termites we'll see you

[01:41:26] down the road ready