Episode 183: Fourth of July Fun, Alien Monoliths, & Taylor & Stevie Unite In Dublin

[00:00:01] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. Termites! Episode 183. Fire and...

[00:00:29] Welcome. Welcome. So much Stevie news, so much breaking news. Oh my god, it's enough to make your head explode. The queens are meeting up on the road. Oh, that deserves a goat scream. Somebody wrote they don't like the goat. Well, tough shit, I like it.

[00:00:46] This is how I feel about Stevie being a Tay-Tay sculptor. All right. What is going on? Let's start with what are we drinking. Back from Maine. And in case you guys didn't know it, Maine is a little slap happy over the amount of blueberries there.

[00:01:02] It is in everything that is handed to me. Even the breakfast. I was like, do you guys have any jelly for toast? And she brought, but it was like real blueberry things. I don't know. Holy shit. I mean, what about your whole head goes...

[00:01:19] I mean, it's good. It's very good. And my friend Peter said his mom wouldn't even, because he's from Maine, she would not make a pie unless the blueberries were from Maine.

[00:01:28] Because I said in the winter where you get, you could either freeze them or they'd be in the grocery store. But they're from South America somewhere and she'd be like, nope, we're just not having pie.

[00:01:36] Wow. I know. So I'm drinking a blueberry Bar Harbor ale by the Atlantic Brewing Company. And I'm not a huge blueberry person. I'd be more of a strawberry person. If anybody would care about any of that, and they don't. But it's a good beer.

[00:01:54] And it's a good little change up if you just want something other than the norm. And that was brought by Termites, Bob, Corinthia and Diana. A lot of stuff came backstage.

[00:02:07] Most of it made it with me back. Some of it was left behind for the staff and a glorious revelation. There's so... I love that the theaters love comedy because it's in and out.

[00:02:19] There's no load in a band shit. There's no load out. There's two people, me and Kelly. That's it. Here we are, me and whomever. It was Kelly McFarland this weekend. She was so great.

[00:02:30] And we had a medical emergency during the show. Yeah. But she handled it like a champ. I was sitting side stage watching her and she looked over at me like, and I'm like, well, pause.

[00:02:42] You pause and say, let's take care of it. And then you have to reset. But the reset's weird. I mean, I'm glad everybody and everybody behaved. The crowd was wonderful.

[00:02:50] Shout out to everybody. Just let that go on. Stay in your seats unless you're in the row where it's happening. Then get your ass up and get out of the way. The guy was fine. Yeah. It wasn't like... The ushers always tell you what happened. Yeah, I know.

[00:03:08] I don't even need to know. Just let me know the man's okay. But I tracked him down because I felt bad because he came into the show. And he's going to come to, I hope, Hampton Beach. I gave him tickets for there.

[00:03:20] Nice. Or he can come to Boston. And then he feels like, well, he got not really a free ticket. He already paid for one, but whatever. You feel better. Yeah. It was just, you know, weird.

[00:03:32] What are we eating? Well, right now I have Surf Sweet Gummy Bears from Melissa. Organic fruity bears. No, it's the blueberries I spun. Oh, oh, oh. Thank you, Melissa. These are good, but they have that sugar on the outside like a thing.

[00:03:51] I don't know. What are those called? Sugar candies? All right, Grandma. Do you have any sugar candies? I don't know. These are interesting. My mom will love it. They're organic. My mom will love it. And we're going to taste some chocolate covered blueberries.

[00:04:18] This is a venture. Oh, they're blue. Holy shit. They look like blueberries. If you like blueberries, I found the treat for you. Wilbur's of Maine. Oh my gosh. Yeah. You got to like blueberries. They're fine. They're fine. They're good for what they are.

[00:04:43] If that's your thing, probably wouldn't be doing that a lot. Yeah, it just it's so I like blueberry muffins. Love them. Yeah. And in the hotel, they're like triple stacked because they have a lot. Well, this is Allagash White, which is one of my favorite beers.

[00:05:05] Beer brittle. This can't be bad. There can't be. Oh my God. It's so thick. Jesus. Jesus. My God. Oh, but by trade off won't wreck my crowns. That's my judgment now. Will this wreck my crowns? I didn't pay all this money. Oh, wow. Yeah.

[00:05:25] I wish my dad was alive. He loved peanut brittle. Who gave it to you? He would love this. Trish and Kathy from Rockland, Maine. There's a lobster festival there. There's a lobster festival. Yes, I know there's a lobster festival and they're very excited about it.

[00:05:40] And they would like me to come. And I would like to come too because I love any kind of lobster anything. Let me move this around. That's really good. That's an A plus and it won't break your teeth. Hello, people over 40.

[00:05:52] This will not break your teeth. I promise. Because if anybody's teeth can be broken. Jesus. I know. When I look at my parents, they just, you know, as you get older. Well, they didn't really take care of their teeth. But that generation didn't.

[00:06:07] And mine, some people's parents did. Mine didn't. You just don't want to lose them all by the end. But you also don't want to hang on to like three. Sometimes when my mom smiles on the bottom, I'm like, that is horrifying. Put your fucking teeth in.

[00:06:22] I can't. What she because she's got a good old chin. She gets her hillbilly on. I'm like, oh, my God, put your teeth back in. What are you doing? At one point he in the hospital, he sneezed or something and his teeth flew out.

[00:06:35] And then she laughed so hard, her teeth flew out. And I'm like, get me out of here. Till you two get your shit together. I can't even watch all this. All right. Where are we going on the road?

[00:06:45] Then we're going to get on to all this, this real show. Also, I have a can of Jersey's sarcasm. I would like to thank I think at the end, Fran for mulling this all the way from New Jersey up to Maine. Are down up, up. It's up.

[00:06:59] I never know where I'm at. Maine is almost the top. I understand that Maine is north of Boston because I flew into Boston and drove to Maine. So I get it that it's north. But like, I don't know where New Hampshire's at really. Vermont. I went through it.

[00:07:17] Well, I missed the sign. You just have your pitch of a liquor store. I just follow the I know I don't like the liquor laws on the East Coast. I just wanted to get some beers and I go to the liquor store.

[00:07:27] And this giant thing is this liquor warehouse. No, we don't have beer. I said to the girl and she could give a shit. I could tell the purple hair, the beard. She's just whatever lady. And she don't care about me. And that's fine. She shouldn't.

[00:07:41] But I'm like, where can I get beer? I guess the gas station. Ah, ah, ah. Like why can't the Midwest you go buy everything anywhere? The South too. We don't have these weird separations. It's like communistic. That's my that's my political statement. It's communistic.

[00:08:00] What kind of communist god damn nation am I living in? Why can't be a priest? And is this a government store? I don't even know on in Seattle or somewhere in Washington. I think they were government run. I'm like, well, this is bullshit.

[00:08:12] Why would you ever have a sale? You won't. And if you advertise one, it's a lie. There's enough things to complain about in politics. But I think that's why I could win probably six place. My thing is liquor laws. Let's talk about it.

[00:08:27] Let's talk about liquor laws in your state and the bullshit. Why is it that in Nashville, Tennessee at the airport? I can get a drink anywhere I want at 6 a.m. New York on a Sunday noon, I believe maybe 10. Boston 10. Well, what if I want a mimosa?

[00:08:42] The answer is a hot no. But yet you could go to like Tulsa or St. Louis. I mean, yeah, sure. But New York is a city never sleeps. You're asleep on Sundays. OK, shows coming up. We added a second show in Boston. So that's Saturday, November 16th.

[00:08:59] And I'll already be there Friday the 15th, July 19th and 20th. I think Friday sold out Saturday because we added that. I think he has tickets. That's July 19th and 20 Borgata. It's going to be so great. It's going to be epic.

[00:09:15] And the Olympics will have started so I can see gymnastics on a giant screen. July 26 San Antonio. July 27th, Austin. August 2nd, Marietta, Ohio. I know I've messed that up a couple of times. August 3rd, Cincinnati, Ohio. Let's go Cincinnati. August 10th, Niagara Falls.

[00:09:37] I'm so excited to have a beer on that lower deck and watch the ships go up. That's Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canadian side. I'll be in the red boat, not the blue boat representing Canada. August 24th, Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. I remember being there. It was lovely.

[00:09:55] I know I was just in New Hampshire last weekend. I would have said nope, I wasn't. I didn't know I drove through it. I guess I did. August 30th and 31st, that's Labor Day weekend, the Venetian. Let's go, let's go, LA people fly on out.

[00:10:09] Phoenix, you know what? It's not hot enough in Phoenix. Fly to Vegas. The weather, I can't even. They say it's going to be 130 in Death Valley on Monday, which is the highest temperature ever recorded. And you know what? I'm not a scientist.

[00:10:26] As we all know, what do we know about this lady? Flunk science every year, repeatedly. Just to prove I was right the year before, I flunked it again. These temperatures, this hurricane burl, it's now a cat six. It doesn't even exist.

[00:10:42] Then when people write like about Death Valley, oh, I'm so worried. It's summer. Okay, if you can't even acknowledge because of your political whatever that the weather is more extreme. Now, I don't know what did it. I'm not saying we did it. I don't know what did it.

[00:10:59] And maybe it's, I sometimes think it's too late. But then my brother pointed out during COVID, everything kind of chilled. But yeah, but then you got to have the Chinese agreeing. You got to have everyone in a billion people in India. And I just don't see it.

[00:11:12] So, you know, enjoy the heat. That's all I got. September 6th, Terry Towns, September 7th, Wilmington, Delaware. September 13th, Columbus, Ohio. Yeah, my whole funny bone days. That was one of the first cities I sold out shows in Columbus. Always has a soft spot in my heart.

[00:11:28] September 14th, Lexington, Kentucky. September 19th, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Can't wait to go see that brick town thing. September 21st, Dallas, Texas. Come on, Dallas. The 27th, Foxwoods. Always have a great time. September 28th, in the city of Manhattan. I will be at Town Hall. Great gig.

[00:11:51] Yeah, I think my cousins are coming up for that. October 11th and 12th, Troy, New York, Burlington, Vermont. See, I'll be in Vermont and I won't even know where I'm at. Yeah. Well, you know, as a Midwest person, I don't know. I just don't understand those tiny states.

[00:12:10] I like them and I have a good time wherever I go, but you know, I don't know where I'm at. That's why I could be abducted, be no problem. So Portland, Maine. Show was great. I got to see my friend Peter Costas.

[00:12:24] If you're a golf person, if you wanted a children, he, gosh, I don't even know, probably 35 years broadcasting for CBS. And then I met him through the cystic fibrosis stuff, the chair and his wife, Sandy. Just wonderful people.

[00:12:36] And you go golfing with Peter and I'm sure there's a million things he wants to say about my swing. And he's very sweet. And he only says it if you ask. And then his teaching is wonderful because he just gives you one or two things.

[00:12:47] But on like the second green, I said to his wife, I really like your hat. And he goes, he kind of rolled his eyes. And I'm like, what? And I'm a good golfer. And so Sandy, it's not like he's out with two women who he

[00:13:00] goes, I'm going to write a whole book about things men would never say on a golf course to one another. He goes, and I'm opening with that one. I really like your hat. I'm like, what if you liked another guy's hat? He goes, it doesn't know.

[00:13:12] He couldn't even explain it. And I'm just like, no, it doesn't enter the realm. And I'm like, well, what if you like their shoes? Yeah, we made a video about it. He has a YouTube series with Gary McCord. If you're a golfer, if you're not a golfer,

[00:13:23] just ignore all this. But he's a wonderful person. It was great to see him again. And he's from Maine. I mean, who the hell is from Maine? Kelly McFarland, who is a funny headliner in her own right. She opened, she's from Maine. Stephen King.

[00:13:39] One of the funniest comedians in the United States, aside from Kelly. He's a friend. He's from Maine. Very funny. Follow him on Instagram. He's so odd. They're just odd. Everything up there is odd, but they like being weird. And Portland is a wonderful city.

[00:13:59] I don't know why it wasn't more crowded. Now the weather can turn. But, and get like chilly, but I don't care. Just act like you're in Ireland. Who cares? I'd rather it be chilly. I don't need all that sun. Yeah. Does it make it too much noise?

[00:14:17] A little bit. I took a tour. You take a tiny boat, a very tiny boat. And you go out to these rock islands and there's seals everywhere. It was awesome. Their lobster rolls were awesome. Portland Lobster Company, that's my shout out downtown. Their chowder is great.

[00:14:35] It's just an outdoor deal. You order up at the counter and get a number and then they bring it in. Live music the whole time from the minute they open. It's awesome. And the state theater is just wonderful. And everybody that works there is wonderful. Like no bullshit.

[00:14:51] And then Peter and Sandy brought friends back and nobody was like, get out of here. Which does happen. Well sometimes they're like, we're done. Is security still here? I'm like, what if I was a band? This would take another three fucking hours.

[00:15:05] You know, I just want to sit here for 30 minutes and have a drink. They were so accommodating. There's some theaters, I won't mention names, but they're all great. Do I have the Dolly Parton pan? Oh. It's my fault. You forgot, Paddles. Next week. Next week.

[00:15:27] I'm going to teach you guys about the benefits of cast iron. Which in case you're wondering, I had no idea. But now that I've read it, I get it. I went back down to get your Tato's. Then you told me to stop eating the Tato's.

[00:15:37] You went and got them and then you stopped. Well you can have some, just not the whole time. What? All right, I'll put this aside. This will not happen this week. This will happen next week. Moving on to Queen News and King News. Yay!

[00:15:53] So Tay Tay was in London and Dublin, as we know. This is from the mayor. And I know like some of you may not be Taylor Swift fans. Some of the older folks may just be like rolling eyes.

[00:16:05] But you have to listen to what this person is doing. Forget about the music. Just as a humanitarian stuff. And I know people bitch about the president and the private jet. Everybody, all the earth people, or what are they called? Climate people bitch about the climate kids.

[00:16:21] They bitch about the jet. But she's also traveling with a shit ton of people. It's not like she, whatever. She does pay back. The mayor of London confirms that Taylor Swift her eight shows at Wembley will generate north of $700 million in revenue for the city.

[00:16:35] She will also become the first act to sell out the venue for eight shows at a grand total of 750,000 attendees. She's expected to be honored with the highest, the Order of the Companions of Honor, which is the highest award awarded to civilians in the United Kingdom

[00:16:54] for their contributions to the arts. Well. No, you get a medal. The Brits are big on medals. Here's your medal. They all act like I just ran a 50 yard dash in 10 seconds. Like I feel like they're medal happy. There's some guy making medals in London that's super happy.

[00:17:13] I don't know if his whole family is still doing business. Probably not as good as Bert's medal. Bert's medal was Bert Kreischer's and Leanne's medal. The two bears. Yeah, I'm going to put that by my bed just in case some stranger comes in.

[00:17:27] I'm going to whack the shit out of him and then I'm going to say that medal actually murdered an intruder. Don't even need a gun. Why? Because I have Bert's medal. Taylor Swift, this is another one, has donated enough money to help people in need.

[00:17:45] She's done more for this city. Wait, she's done this for every city she's toured in the UK, meaning she's done more than the government has in 14 years to eradicate food poverty. Yeah. I mean, you can't, even if you don't like her songs or whatever.

[00:18:01] But then I was following on TikTok Queen Stevie, welcome. She's over in Europe. She's going to do a show in Hyde Park and as it was, Stevie showed up at Dublin night three. Yeah. She had a mask on and all that. She's older.

[00:18:19] She doesn't want to get COVID because she said she'll end up on a ventilator for sure. I don't know who told her that, but maybe that's maybe not, maybe not hopefully the case. And then I thought, is Stevie going to go on stage

[00:18:35] and sing the song where Tay-Tay's lyric is you look like Stevie Nicks at 75? She dedicated it to her. Clara Bow is the song. I mean, kids were just losing their shit because she hadn't sang it out loud or whatever in forever. And then Travis Kelsey,

[00:18:53] who was at a wedding in California for Clyde Edwards Hilari, one of my fantasy players. Fantasy, fantasy. I love Clyde. Well, he went to his wedding and then surprised Tay-Tay and she was on stage and saw him and oh my God, it's such a love story.

[00:19:13] Where does she go next? Amsterdam. Oh right, Amsterdam. And then where? I don't know. Google it. Giggle it. Queen Stevie did not perform though. I was hoping she'd join her. She's in Amsterdam all weekend. All weekend. Okay. And then she's in Zurich and Milan. Zurich and Milan. Zurich.

[00:19:46] I don't know about that. Milan. Milan, I don't know. Zurich and Geneva. Zurich's kind of boring. I just thought Switzerland was boring. How many watches can I look at? It's very state. Yeah, and there's like a rich vibe but I'm not in it.

[00:20:08] I don't know, people are like doing secret things. Me and Luke have said like there's secret things going on here, right? There has to be. Why the fuck would Tina Turner have moved here? Chocolate? You want chocolate? I'm not into it. We took the tram up to Zermatt.

[00:20:26] I'm like, yeah, we're on top of a mountain. I could do this in Colorado. I mean, it's cute. There's a little village. Well, we don't ski and then the people that were dressed up for skiing like my ski outfit would have looked

[00:20:40] like some hillbilly overall piece of shit compared to what... It's like the world's wealthiest. I don't know. The Swiss, yeah. Like some cities, Lou will go, is there anything secret going on here? No, Lou, what you see is what you get. I did agree with him though.

[00:20:58] Geneva and Zurich and then we took the deal up to Zermatt because I'd heard of it and I don't know. All right, other Queen news. Dolly will take care of Cher's Macquia. Tanya's Macquia, she's out at festivals. Snoop has Skechers. He's teamed up with... And they're so cool.

[00:21:18] But then I look at him and I think, what am I, nine? But also he's wearing them. They're super cool. If you want to go look at Snoop's tennis shoes and then they have the slip-on but they still have the tennis shoe ties.

[00:21:32] But I don't like the lack of control over that. I need to be able to tie a shoe tighter. Didn't he have the... Do something with the Olympics. Yeah, I got this. He ran, so he's all in on the Olympic thing, right? He's 52 years old. Is he only 52?

[00:21:48] Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, he's 52 and he ran a 200 meter exhibition race against Trinidadian former Olympic medalist Atul Bolden and then a bunch of other people. Snoop Dogg came in dead last as one would expect. Excellent. He's so skinny too. He probably just looks like a weird giraffe

[00:22:12] trying to make it to the end. He entered 34.44 seconds on the clock. He said it ain't bad for a 52 year old and he went to go pose with his time on the clock. Oh my gosh, I like it. Yeah. He went on to give his unvarnished commentary

[00:22:30] of the men's 3,000 meter steeplechase seemingly warming up to giving remarks on the Olympic events next month. Yeah, he said about somebody in the steeplechase, that's a cold trick right there. I like that one. Tip and top. Yeah, I'm sure the people that actually know how to do that

[00:22:47] were going to be appalled by what's going to be said. I like it. It's like somebody engulfed purposely hitting a draw and him going, whoa, that's wicked lift. Wicked lift. All right, update. Update. Just in case. Okay, update. The white buffalo that we talked about. Very magical.

[00:23:11] Well, it hasn't been seen since its birth on June 4th. The birth of the white buffalo in the wild, which fulfilled the Lakota prophecy that portends better times was first recorded in Yellowstone history as a landmark event, blah, blah, blah. It's an extraordinary occurrence.

[00:23:32] We know only white buffaloes, only every one in 1 million, but it's also a warning. It's not just a good time Charlie thing. It's saying they named her, and somehow I missed this, Walkin Gill, which means return sacred in Lakota. Whether she's alive is still unknown.

[00:23:49] We will be tracking this, termites. Okay. Each spring about one in five calves die shortly after birth due to natural hazards, but park officials declined to directly respond to questions about whether officials believe it has died. Why won't you tell us the truth? Right.

[00:24:05] They confirmed its birth after reviewing blah, blah, blah. Well, the Native American leaders had a ceremony this week to honor the buffalo and give it the name. Where is it? Right. I saw it on the news. Can we get some cameras out there? Right. Anything? Update! Moving on.

[00:24:26] Just saying. Well, I'll keep tracking it, but so baby, friend, dear, you guys know I'm obsessed with this because I cannot believe that all of this occurred and they gave that guy Richard Gad, HBO gave him another name. I'm going to watch another series. What? HBO or Netflix?

[00:24:46] HBO. Wow, nobody learns. But so if you go to YouTube, I watched a video of the female lawyer she supposedly stalked and this woman, I don't know, probably mid-50s, is a lawyer. It's again with Piers Morgan. I know a lot of people don't love him,

[00:25:08] but it's the only place I can watch it, and she is 1,000% stable. This woman, the lawyer, and not even hysterical. She's very lawyer-like, super smart, super here's the facts, no hysteria, no nothing. And she's like the real life Martha, this one that we see, Fiona,

[00:25:30] she said she absolutely did all of this. Well, then, well, she didn't know about the Richard part, but she knows what she did to her. And then the politician, George Galloway, I've seen him a few times. Everywhere I turned, she was there.

[00:25:44] He's also on YouTube if you want to go see it. He's a politician and broadcaster. And he said, he watched the interview with her. He said I was riveted. It took me right back to the 1980s when stalking was up close and personal.

[00:25:58] There were no emails and texting. You either had to phone someone. So she was stalking before technology, like landline. You either, this guy said you either had to phone someone on their landline or turn up at their door. That's real stalking. That's what she did to me.

[00:26:17] Yeah, I know. Thank you. He called her an obsessive woman. Everywhere I turned, she was there. At first I thought she fancied me. Oh, how arrogant of you. Hey, who's this fucker? I keep seeing on my back porch. Guess he likes me. Hey, I'm totes cute.

[00:26:37] I'm a 90s if you're going to stay. I need some cat treats. Thanks. It turned out she fancied my job. She was relentless and physical up close stalker of mine. I'm ready to testify. When asked how much she stalked him, he said everywhere I turned, she was there.

[00:26:55] She called me hundreds of times and she showed up hundreds of times. How do people make a living when you, where do you get the time? I mean, I don't want the time to stalk anyone. I don't want to be the one that he'd take this tree out

[00:27:11] from the back of the cove. I would like to stalk him and say, you said you would do a, and then if I keep showing up, maybe, maybe it'll float out on its own. But I don't. Anyways, that is a sidebar. Does anyone have a chainsaw?

[00:27:27] I know who has a chainsaw and I'm going to call him. You are not allowed to do it. I'm not doing it. No, no. I'm too clumsy. My joke nickname is Grace. I mean, there's a reason. It's because I wasn't graceful. So she says he's full of shit

[00:27:49] and they're brutal lives. She says everybody's full of shit. But if you're interested in more baby reindeer stuff, go on YouTube. I know about Piers Morgan, but that's where they're all going. So I think it is totally worth it. By the way, too,

[00:28:04] I forgot Tay Tay's cat, Meredith, died. That's sad. As a person who really likes cats, love dogs too, love dogs. Would love to have a dog. Can't, but I can have a cat. Meredith was really cute. Too real pretty. Yeah, maybe, this is very sad.

[00:28:22] She's still got Benjamin, who's I think prettier, but who's judging? That's why Travie had to come back. But yeah, yeah, heart, I love you. Pablo update. I'm going to be doing havoc in the Colombian jungle. The plan we had, the plans we had,

[00:28:44] which we go over on this podcast at least, I don't know, once every couple months. None of it's working. None of it's working. We should put the hippos against the monkeys. The hippos against the monkeys. Yeah, let the gang of monkeys from Thailand get down there.

[00:29:00] They'll outsmart them. But the hippos are very, very dangerous. They're just, it's wreaking, they've multiplied now. We're not going the right direction. We're supposed to be weeding them out. No, but listen to this piece of information. A lot of this article stuff you guys already know,

[00:29:17] but Colombian scientists are sounding the alarm about the impacts on the region's ecosystem. For example, a single hippo produces up to 20 pounds of feces a day. What? Yeah. The dung provide nutrients for fish populations in rivers, but in recent years, perhaps as a consequent of warming temperature,

[00:29:40] water-intensive agriculture and increasing drought, the dung has accumulated to toxic level, stagnating in pools, killing off the aquatic life that once benefited from it. That's crazy. If I lived in Colombia, I would be worried, Rebecca Lewison says at San Diego State. This system is not a system

[00:29:59] that has evolved to support a mega herbivore. So we're going to keep track of the hippos. And I don't think any plan that those people have is working. No, no, no. Speaking of this is not really an update. Well, it's sort of what we're watching.

[00:30:19] We're kind of that's all my updates. But what we're watching, first of all, I know I'm skipping around a little bit. I watched the Celine Dion documentary. It's very sad that she has this stiff person syndrome. Seems like a lot of the day is kind of OK.

[00:30:38] But then when it's not OK, it's not OK at all. But I think Celine, she does like herself a lot. There were just moments where I was very bored of what they were covering. Like, here's her warehouse of shoes. Who does this? Who the fuck saves?

[00:30:58] Well, I don't know. I have one pair of Cole Haan boots that I'm saving till I'm dead to give. Well, I was going to give it to the twins, but they're taller than me now and they wear like an eight. They're my favorite shoes. One thing, one,

[00:31:14] they have a zipper up the front, wonderful black, cool, like sort of biker boots, but not because they're Cole Haan. So we kind of, right. And at the time it took all my money to buy them. They were like, I don't know, $270 for me at the time,

[00:31:31] whenever that was 10 years ago, that was like a lot of way, a lot of money, especially for a pair of boots. But they've lasted till now and they look great and people still go, where'd you get those? And they never made them again. Now anyway,

[00:31:50] it's a dumb story, but Celine has a whole warehouse. I don't get it. It's not about her family or more of the town she grew up in. But then it's not about Celine. Well, it would still be about Celine. You make the siblings talk about her.

[00:32:06] We're doing an homage to Celine. Maybe they don't like her. They may not like her. I don't know. It's sad that she has this thing and her voice is great. No matter what, I would like to see her once,

[00:32:22] but I don't know that she's ever going to sing again. And I don't blame her. She's got a show. A little freaky. But she has enough money. But see, this is where the Irish part of me comes in. I'm like, you have a shit ton of money.

[00:32:36] Most of the time you're doing pretty okay. Who cares about work? Enjoy your life. Oh, I could think of a million things to do. Go golfing with Peter. Yeah, I'm going back to Maine. Going to go golf with Peter again. Peter, get us a tee time on Tuesday.

[00:32:54] I don't know. Fishing, I don't know. There's just so many things I also like rather than being on stage. But she's been on stage since she was whatever, five though. So maybe life without it just seems incomprehensible. I don't know.

[00:33:11] I don't think many men would like the documentary. No. Lewis won't watch it. I'm like, come on, Lou. Put in a little work here. You're not supposed to be a research termite when you're not doing the work here, Lou. You're not putting the work in.

[00:33:27] And then I asked him, so I watched this. And this ties into something that's happening right now. It's called the very royal crisis. Yes, it's on Amazon. It's 10 days. And it's called a very royal crisis, 10 days of abdication. So it's when Prince Harry's great uncle, Edward,

[00:33:48] quit and set out. He was king for 10 months and he thought he could bring his American ho-ho treat. She'd been divorced twice. And like, did you not read the fucking rules? Like, I don't get... You're the head of the Church of England.

[00:34:04] I mean, your mother is sitting over there with a hard no. She is not budging. She's not... This is whacked that you think you could do it. Now, whether I agree with it or not, totally different situation. But I do know these are the rules.

[00:34:19] And they're not going to change for you. But he was a spoiled little brat. And I think he thought, I'm going to tell him... First of all, she's American, strike one, Wallace Simpson. Strike two. And then he realizes, oh shit,

[00:34:33] they're really not going to let me do this. I saw her as a sort of a grifter chick. And then when he said, well, I'll give up the throne for you, she did the fake, oh no, don't do that. Well, he quit.

[00:34:49] And then they show you how he got ousted. And speaking of that, Prince Harry should go read or watch this show about what happens when you quit the royal family. Now, the weird thing is you're still a person in that family.

[00:35:04] I would love a British lawyer to explain to me, do you get the money? Now, I know Harry. I don't even know, why do I call him Prince Harry? What's his last name? No, I looked it up. Let's say I was a bouncer at a club

[00:35:18] and the list had been submitted for people to get backstage. I'm not going, he's Montbatten. Montbatten. So let's say I'm at a nightclub and I have a list of people that are allowed backstage. Prince Harry ain't working for me. I need to know your last name.

[00:35:39] The surname switched from Montbatten, Windsor to Sussex. Oh, to Sussex. So he's Prince Sussex, no, he's Harry Sussex? That's the thing. Because of Charles' coronation. Oh, because of Charles' coronation. You're in America. You're not a prince of anything here. Nothing, that's Disney shit. We don't have any here.

[00:36:01] And Megan, you're not a duchess of what, Montecito? Santa Barbara? I mean, stop. They're never going to. Miss Royal California? It's so ridiculous that Americans go along with it. Hi, are you Prince? There's no prince. He's a prince.

[00:36:26] He was a prince in another nation far away, in a land far away. He's not a prince here. His name is Harry Montbatten. That's the name I'm putting on the get backstage list. Harry Montbatten.

[00:36:35] Everybody else has to show an ID that says your goddamn last name on it. Well. The only reason he has Sussex as a last name is because of the kids. Because of the kids, so they can be. Stop.

[00:36:47] He wants all of it, but he doesn't want to do it. Well, bullshit. And so did his great uncle. And look how that turned out. They ended up grifting for the rest of their lives, chain-smoking cigs, and it all ended poorly.

[00:36:59] Because now I don't necessarily agree with the rules. Well, I don't like any of it. No. He's an Irish person. He's an Irish person, I have to not particularly fan of the royal family. It doesn't mean I don't like all English people or all British people,

[00:37:11] but there's some funny comedians that I'm friends with. But their behavior, let's say, over the last 2,000 years has been short of impeccable. Yes. Yeah. It's been mercurially bad in some places. They're no longer in the picture. But anyway, so he needs to get a job.

[00:37:27] He needs to get a job. And he needs to get a job. And he needs to get a job. And he needs to go watch this, because this is what his life's going to turn into. I just want to live long enough to see it,

[00:37:39] to go, total mistake. Yes. Total mistake. Totally. Live within it, make it work for you, stay. Hold like the beagles. Hold, hold, don't release the hounds. Nope. Well, anyway, now ESPN has decided to give him the Pat Tillman Award. Oh my God, I saw that.

[00:38:01] And there's all this hoopla about it. First of all, Pat Tillman was an American who quit being an Arizona Cardinal to go fight after 9-11. And he ended up dying. And that's what the award... His mother has come out against Prince Harry. These things, not saying this one

[00:38:17] because I don't know it personally, but you can donate enough money that you are highly considered. They're saying Serena Williams was pushing for it too at the SB committee for who's going to get this award. First of all, he's not American. Pat was pretty all-American.

[00:38:31] Second of all, he was called Bunker Harry. I'm not sure he can actually fly a helicopter. Somebody needs to prove that to me because they said, eh, yeah, he couldn't, he couldn't. Then he gets on TV and says that, oh, we just randomly killed a bunch of,

[00:38:43] I think it was Afghan, Afghans or... Yeah, Afghans. So he is now endangered. Like what, they just, he just flies around and picks up awards that they donated for? This is, it's ridiculous. He's a moron. I vote with the mom.

[00:39:01] I don't really have harsh opinions on here, but... He's spoiled. And if he does show up, I'm not calling him Prince. That's my Irish bullshit. That's where I throw it on a hammer. Fine, he can have the trophy, but I'm not calling him Prince.

[00:39:15] I'm calling him Harry Sussex and I need a license that says it or I'm not letting him backstage because we have security back here. Fuck you. I just, Termites, what do you think? Do we get, the Invictus Games. They said, oh, we have founded the Invictus.

[00:39:31] It was in America first. It was called American Warriors or Wounded Warrior. I did stuff for Wounded Warriors, so I don't think that, I think it was called American Warriors. We already had those kinds of games. He saw it, went home, got a meeting with grandma,

[00:39:45] the queen, and said, can I do it over here? And then, but also he didn't really, in the beginning, so he didn't found Invictus. He expanded on what the Americans did, but he also has a crew of everyone doing it. Like a staff. Like points for that.

[00:40:01] Yeah, I'll give you points for that. You expanded it, but I'm sure there's some, like the mom said, how many people that don't get the spotlight have worked their asses off for veterans that maybe could use the spotlight and maybe it could help more normal people

[00:40:17] just say, well, I'll pitch in instead of, oh, you know, Harry Sussex got it instead of Prince Harry. Why is anyone in this country referring to these people like this? You are not. Are you a prince? No. No. Are you like a Disney prince? Excellent.

[00:40:40] As Jiminy Glick would say. The Disney princes. Oh, are you a Disney princess? Are you Tatiana from Frozen? Oh God. Anyway, ESPN's defending it. It's terrible. The last thing, I have a lot of entertainment stuff this week that I want to talk about. Kevin Costner's Horizon

[00:41:01] is a giant box office disaster and he mortgaged his land to pay for it. Whoa. People are using words like another water world. Water world. That's the biggest disaster. Footed children, footed children who don't want to be caught up. Water World was a movie,

[00:41:20] I don't know, 20 years ago, whatever. And it was, it cost like a billion dollars and it was like the dumbest thing ever made. Was he involved in that? Yes, Kevin Costner was, that's why it became like a verb. Yeah. It's like you pulled a water world.

[00:41:35] Once your thing becomes a verb. Anyway, it grossed a paltry $11 million. It cost $100 to make. He put in $30 million of his own. Are you kidding? Sorry, $38 million of his own money. It's the first of a four part series. What? In a movie theater.

[00:41:57] The second entry hits theaters in August. What? Yeah, it's a four parter in a movie theater. I never even heard of that. I can't imagine leaving a movie going, wait, I got to come back? No, no, no, I don't like that. Jaws was over.

[00:42:14] If you want to make another Jaws where it attacks the family, then great, do it. Oh my God. What? And I like Kevin Costner and I loved Yellowstone. I love 1923, I love 1883, I love anything pioneer-y. I'm in. But like I would watch this at home. Yeah. Wow.

[00:42:38] He plans to devote $100 million of his own cash. Quote, I've mortgaged 10 acres on the water in Santa Barbara where I was going to build my last house. Well, how's Tulsa sound? Lots of Tulsa. How about Nashville? You want to come to old Hickory Lake? There's water here.

[00:42:57] How about Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri? Yeah. Wow. He said it has thrown my accountant into a quote fucking conniption fit. I love the word conniption. You never hear it anymore. But it's my life and I believe in the idea and the story.

[00:43:15] The Sprawling Tale, which is distributed by Warner Brothers. Warner Brothers is still being mean to me. Yeah. Well, get to me. It stars Costner, Sienna Miller, Luke Wilson, Sam Worthington and Jenna Malone among many others. Wow. Reviews have been scathing. They've called it an embarrassing, poorly told mess.

[00:43:38] I cannot fathom committing another 450 minutes of my life to this bloated ego trip. I think he likes dressing up like a cowboy. I do too. I think he's really into it. And I think there's like a lot of my older friends who are like 10 years older than me.

[00:43:53] The dudes that I that if I go have drinks at the golf course or I was in a drink with, they all secretly have this fantasy. Yeah. Yeah. They want to go out to some ranch and ride a horse and pretend they can do shit and they can't.

[00:44:06] I'm like, wow. It's got a. It's all hard. And all of your guys' backs hurts. Who are you kidding? You all have bad knees. You're all waiting on another knee replacement. I'm like, the films holds a 40 percent critic score. Part two will be released August 16th.

[00:44:23] Part three and four don't have release dates. Maybe we don't make them. Maybe Kevin has a helpful hamster here. Save your Santa Barbara home and bail on this bullshit. Yeah. Or is it too late? If he's going to throw in another 100 million,

[00:44:39] you're not going to be living by Jim Nance in Santa Barbara. I'll tell you that. So many people are going to be like, you're not going to live in Santa Barbara. I'll tell you that. So much money. Yeah. Just go ride down Yellowstone Ranch.

[00:44:57] Well, isn't he just rich enough to. I don't know. Do you want to pretend you're a cowboy? But maybe it's the camera he likes. Just go get go to Montana. There's all those ranches you can you can buy your own ranch. Yeah. Costner's Dude Ranch. Right. Like 20 acres.

[00:45:18] Like, what do you want? I think it's I think it's a vanity project that's gone extremely awry. I would love to be on the set going, OK, what are we doing today? Really? Really? Well, I bet that's not cheap. OK, wow.

[00:45:39] Where else should we should we let's go on Zillow and find Kevin another home because I don't think it's going to be on the water. And wow, we're going to teach Kevin how to rope a cow. It really does undermine how hard the actual cowboys work.

[00:45:57] It makes it seems like, you know, like it's all fun and games and I look cool on a horse and here's my hat and I hang it here at night and then I sit down and drink whiskey and look out at my ranch. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

[00:46:14] I mean, I'm open to it. Put it in the email box. Let me know. What? Oh, yeah. No, I think. No, lost continent. Unlike anything found today, discovered off the coast of Australia, a continent. Oh, shit. This is why when people go Atlantis

[00:46:42] didn't exist, I'm sure it did. We just haven't found it. We're in a operating casino. A landmass which was once home to a half million people is discovered off has been discovered off the coast of northern Australia. The now submerged continental shelf was a vast habitable landscape

[00:46:59] for the past 65000 years, covering around two hundred and forty two thousand miles, an area bigger than New Zealand. So where those people go. Right. The humans who live there spoke similar languages and created the best examples of rock art to those living in the surrounding areas.

[00:47:21] The regions which were once connected by the shelf still exist, meaning Western Arnhem land. This is too hard. But it split off and it cut Tasmania off from the mainland. I've never been to Tasmania, but I do know that the Australian comedians, when they want to make

[00:47:41] fun of people, they use that like Americans would say somewhere in the South, like Mississippi or Alabama. The Australians. Yeah. New Zealand and Tasmania is the ultimate punchline. Well, yeah, that's all I know. I'm not saying I agree. And their devil is very famous. The Tasmanian devil. Right.

[00:48:00] Love that cartoon. They were thought these. So this whole thing, this submerged shelf was thought to be environmentally unproductive, so largely ignored by original indigenous communities. Well, yeah, it's hard. But I mean, there's a whole continent they found. That's pretty amazing. And here's a little holy shit.

[00:48:21] They found it. This is getting weirder and weirder. Last latest monolith found in Colorado. These monoliths and they're not little. They're 10 feet high. It's just a silver thing. It's a mirrored thing. So it reflects the sky. Another strange one. This one more reminiscent of the movie 2001 Space Oddity

[00:48:44] appeared earlier this week in Colorado, northwest of Fort Collins. Now, there's also been another one since this article in Vegas of somewhere in Nevada. Right. So who's driving these things up there? And what is the point? I'm not saying it's aliens. Not going to jump right to that.

[00:49:01] I'm just saying it's weird. It's rectangular and reflective. That's a way better way of saying it than me going, you know, it's like mirrors and shit. This one's eight foot tall, the one in Colorado. The other one they just found is 10 foot tall. It appeared on private property.

[00:49:19] See, that's weird. Who's driving on my property at night erecting monoliths and coming from the sky? Listen, I'm the first one to believe in Bigfoot, Loch Ness, aliens. Yes, I believe in all of it. But what what is the point? Are these markers? Let's say there are aliens.

[00:49:37] I am open to it, but I've seen no proof of it and I don't understand. I mean, I still am the top child of a lawyer. I need some sort of facts. Right. The monolith is on private property owned by Robin Laurie. Good for them.

[00:49:57] Good for Robin Loi. They kept getting weird questions. Somebody else said it's been there for a while. The one in Colorado, the one in Vegas or Nevada. I don't know if they keep coming, though. What what what is the point? Is this just is this just to

[00:50:11] freak people out? Maybe. Right. But who's got that kind of free time? I don't understand. Well, I mean, I know where my free time goes. I watched House Hunters in Maine last night. I totally. But I don't have this kind of time. She said maybe aliens trying

[00:50:30] to enhance our communication. There's been a lot of guesses. The first one appeared in November 2020 in Utah. We talked about that here. That was 10 to 12 foot long had been there at a place in 2016. It was removed. Then another one appeared in Romania. Oh, so it's global.

[00:50:48] Wow. And multiple ones have appeared in California before the year's end. Also in December 2020, a similar sculpture similar to what I found in Utah was found on the Isle of Wight off the southern coast of England. Then in March 2024, another monolith appeared in Wales. Wow.

[00:51:06] Yeah. It was also 10 foot tall. I don't get it. What's going on, termites? Do we have any move on termites? Move on. I joined it when I was 16. I know. Mutual UFO something. It's free. All right. It was like ten dollars. I don't know. But move on.

[00:51:24] It's about UFO believers. I had a card and everything. That's the kind of shit I would hope and get all excited about. My dad would just go, OK. And yes, Kathleen, I don't know why you wasted your money on that. Don't you say I wasted my money.

[00:51:40] I'm going to be the first one with that newsletter in the mailbox saying we got an alien and you're not going to know, dad. You know, and I'm not going to fucking tell you for making fun of me. There's going to be alien things

[00:51:50] happening and you're not going to know about it. Do you love Walgreens? Moving on to news termites. I like their point system. I like their point system way better than CBS. The coupons come out and then you read it. And I have 11 minutes to act on these 11.

[00:52:11] Do you want to go get some mascara right now? Right now. And it's like, I'm not going to come back here for at least two weeks. Like, I'm not going to. And then it's just people have Instagram, Tick-Tock videos that are hilarious. But yes, I do like that.

[00:52:25] Their pharmacy is fine. They text. It's good. Well, they're going to shut about eighty seven hundred. A significant number of those shut about 2,000. This also Dwayne Reed is under the Walgreens flag. I'm not an East Coaster. I know Dwayne Reed from being in

[00:52:39] New York City and all that. That's Lou's go to. He loves Dwayne Reed. He loves that. They're going to shut about 2,000 stores. So hope that your wags if you're it's such a pain in the ass if you have to switch. They have eighty seven hundred

[00:52:55] stores in United States are going to close by 2000. They also operate Dwayne Reed. They cut its profits. I mean, they cut its profit forecast for the fiscal year as a shopper continue to continues to cut spending in stores. Well, I don't know about the idea of a drugstore

[00:53:12] being a store anymore. I think maybe we're over that because it's all on Amazon. I still like going in. I love it. This is where I turn into an old lady. Well, I like when they have the Valentine's aisle or there's stuff for the kids. It's fun.

[00:53:29] It's I think it's my old old road days when we made no money as comedians. It was something to do. Let's go see what's going on at Walgreens. You know, I like that about Target. And then I had time to like read greeting cards and go,

[00:53:42] that's not funny. That is funny. Like, I don't know. It's something to do. I think old people think, you know, like if my mom goes, it's going to be a thing. Yeah. Should be in there for good half hour. Oh, yeah. But I don't think younger people, whatever

[00:53:59] is in there except for the medication. So I think it's going to turn into more like a drive through. Pick it up place, not like we don't do we need the brick and mortar whole store? Yes. I don't know. Well, I like it.

[00:54:17] But young people would be like, no. Well, my nieces like it. But then they can also go. We're just going to go on all top. They like all top. For like their makeup. I don't think they would buy it. I get walgreens. Closures will focus on stores that

[00:54:36] are profitable, are too close to each other. Well, that is weird. I have pulled up in America in a million towns and there's a Walgreens on competing corners and then there's two CVSs. It's like tic-tac-toe and it's all the same people. I don't understand all that.

[00:54:48] Oh, it's an Illinois based company. Yeah, they're all touch Chicago. Oh, they their sales are declining. Lackluster deals and high prices. See who's looking for a deal, though? Old people. They look they used to look at the thing. My mom would. I mean, yeah. Norm, no.

[00:55:09] Well, I mean, what are you selling that I need a discount on? Or if you are, the old people are keeping track and that's the only people. That's what I think is going to happen. So check your local Walgreens if you don't think it's me. And if you

[00:55:21] have a chance, switch your meds to somewhere else before they before that gets weird. Switch your meds. Switch your meds. I'm here. Helpful hamster. This podcast isn't all just playing games. It's information is real. ESPN releases a statement. The pope's been very busy this week.

[00:55:41] This is not just Catholic news. Well, kind of. He formally approved the canonization of the first ever millennial saint. Teen Carlos Acutis. He was the Internet guy. We talked about him on the podcast. The pope. He flew through with flying colors at the meeting. Fourteen yeses.

[00:55:58] Boom, he's on his way. They call him a millennial because he was 15 when he died, but he died a while back. So technically he would have been a millennial because I'm like, why are you calling him a millennial? I thought he died just now when I

[00:56:09] first read the article. But no, he died a while back. So he was born in 1991. So, yeah. Oh, wealthy Italian parents. And then he moved to northern Italy and then he became super good on the Web. And then he passed the Catholic message on everywhere you could

[00:56:26] do it. And then he died at the age of 15 of leukemia. His body still lies in an open tomb in Assisi in Central. I'm going to tell my sisters that right now with Matt and the kids, I'm going to tell her you need to

[00:56:38] go to Assisi and see Carlos. Yeah. He's wearing blue jeans and Nike sneakers in case you're wondering how to identify him. Very cool. Right. Oh, before before he died, he said, I'm happy to die because I live my life without wasting even a minute on it of anything

[00:56:55] unpleasant to God. Along with him, the canonizations of 14 other people were approved, including 11 people who were killed in Syria in 1860 during that's where we're at during the Syrian civil war, which saw thousands of Christians. Also, this is not just I don't have a Catholic

[00:57:16] segment. It just happened to come up. The Vatican bans tattoos and body piercings for St. Peter's Basilica workers. Now what? So they're not going to have anybody under the age of 40 working there. Right. Well, what if I have a body piercing, but I'm not wearing an

[00:57:37] earring in it? What I like Pope Francis, but he's the one who tries to be liberal and then they all fight him on it. Like he's he's more lax today's goal. Like just let it go. We're glad we'd be glad we have members for God's sake. Right.

[00:57:52] Yeah, they're doing it to maintain decorum. Now, I said that to Lewis. I called him and we were laughing about it. But you think that sounds too strict. And I am super loosey goosey. Like, I don't give a shit what people do or blah, blah, blah.

[00:58:09] But when you see the local news in like Lake of the Ozarks or even Nashville, the fact that we let the cat out of the bag and said, y'all can wear whatever you want. There are some earrings that are taking place on the local news

[00:58:24] where I'm just like, oh, wow. Giant parrots. And they're hitting the microphone. Y'all, y'all, it's going to be a hot day out there and there's just parrots flying everywhere. I'm like, oh, my God. But the problem is because we OK that I can't go in and go, Susie,

[00:58:42] your parrots are a little distracting. And could you tone it down? Do you have tiny parrots? Do you have how about an eastern bluebird? Do you have an eastern bluebird? How about a tiny cardinal? I mean, the shit some of these women show up in and I think

[00:58:56] it's hilarious, but it also doesn't, you know, make the news. I I don't know, I do understand the decorum. You are the news and it's supposed to be serious, you know, and you've got it's Halloween, y'all. Giant pumpkins just hitting the mics and y'all get out there

[00:59:15] on walking the dog. Whether it does make me laugh. So I would keep it. But I can also understand if you don't put a rule the walking the dog. Well, you know, do I want a person in St. Peter's Basilica at the gift store checking people

[00:59:29] out with like, you know, I don't know, face piercings, facial tattoo. I mean, I don't even know how you go to Thanksgiving after that. But Jelly Roll has them and I love Jelly Roll Post Malone. I don't know. I wouldn't have done it. And I do.

[00:59:47] I am constantly amused by what the women on my local news is, meaning Missouri and Tennessee show up with. But the problem is now we can't say shit. Some of the clothing and I feel bad because they have to pay for their own clothes is bullshit.

[01:00:03] I can't come up with something every day to wear on the five o'clock fucking news. I can't do it. Well, just be this. How you like this hoodie? You guys good with this guy's got a little cat hair on it. Don't mind that. And yeah, guys get sued.

[01:00:16] Then it's easy. Right. The dude show up in suits and then they have wacky tennis shoes on and they think they're cool. The new regulations published this weekend applies to roughly 170 lay employees of the Fabrica di San Pietro in charge of the department in charge of the Basilica.

[01:00:34] Father Enzo Fortuna, head of communications for the Basilica, said that it codifies norms that have been in place in the past in a different form. However, he denied that Italian press reports indicating that lay people in unmarried relationships were also banned from working. So they're not.

[01:00:55] The regulation states that staff must have an exemplary religious and moral conduct, including private and family life in conformity with the doctrine of the church. Well, I mean, we need to do it. You want somebody to work in a gift shop and I got to go through all

[01:01:12] this. Here's why I like Pope Francis. In the scheme of all things, he's angered some conservatives by repeatedly saying that the Catholic Church should focus on mercy and forgiveness rather than the strict enforcement of its rules. Yeah, I'm with you, Frank. I'm with Pope Frank, as my dad

[01:01:32] used to call. Here's some. Are you kidding me? I've seen the videos. You guys got to go watch this. There's a girl in China. She's seven foot three. And she's the world's tallest girl. And she's dominating the basketball court. Watching her play would be like me

[01:01:55] watching me at five foot one playing against a bunch of two year olds. And I have a ball that in my hand is the size of a softball, maybe an apple. And then I walk up to the basket and I just go bonk.

[01:02:08] And there's nothing you can all do about it. You can jump on me even if you did. They could be like two year olds and I just go move my thigh and they fall off. This girl. Oh, wait. OK. The future of sports is always on

[01:02:25] display in international contests from world soccer showing off its newest young stars like Spain's Laminia Mall to the FIB summer basketball tournaments to the upcoming Olympics. Discovering future stars is a thrilling part of sports fandom. The next big international prospect might be hitting your television

[01:02:43] soon after her breakout performance at the FIBA under 18 Women's Asia Cup. Chinese Center. And I'm sure I'm saying this wrong. Apologies to all the Chinese people. I can only do what I can do here with a limited amount of resources and I'm doing the work of the Lord.

[01:03:01] I'm open to take a Chinese. OK, so if something starts with a Z in Chinese, should I say it? No. Yes. You sure? You're not sure. This podcast is not educational. Remember, I flunk science. I've never. My niece, Sienna, she took Chinese. I'll call Sienna. I'll text Sienna.

[01:03:23] Well, this. Do you say it? Only the Z's? Well, if it's the lead off letter. Is it like Jesper where I don't say the J? Yep. Say it. Very similar to the C initial. The Z initial sounds very similar to an English DZ DZ sound. What?

[01:03:47] It sounds similar to an English DZ? DZ. DZ. ZZang? Yeah, that's it. Yeah. There's an H. I read Z-Hang. That's what I read. Z-Hang. Z-Z-U. That's her name. How about we just call her ZZ for now until I can text my niece,

[01:04:10] Sienna, and ask her how to pronounce this. ZZ-Tall. ZZ-Super-Tall. She stands at seven foot three. She's impressing during the tournament. It's simply unfathomable that there are people that walk this tall among us. She had 36 points, 13 rebounds and four blocks in a win over New Zealand in the tournament

[01:04:30] on Tuesday. These highlights are comical. She's so much bigger and stronger than everyone else on the court and pretty much has a good touch as an interior scorer too. She's only getting better. That's going to make, that'll bury some Caitlin Clark news.

[01:04:46] If that lady shows up, holy shit. I want to know what people think about this. Yeah, because I'm getting extremely irritated. How am I supposed to say Zang Z-H-U? What? Zongzhu Li? Zongzhu Li. Nobody cares except you and me. I have to move on.

[01:05:21] We'll get a beer and practice later. Yeah. Zongzhu Li? TikTok's the best for it. I learned how to cuss from that one lady. I learned how to cuss in Chinese from a girl on TikTok. It's so funny. Yeah. So here's what are we feeling about

[01:05:34] Airbnb's and VRBO's people? I'm sick of them because when my dad was sick and I had to go back so much and then we all have places at the lake, but you know, everyone's sharing and then I'm like, OK, bring

[01:05:46] the kids all bug out of this one and go over here. Well, you know, this Airbnb crap of so at the in the Ozarks in the winter, you can get one for 125. But so 125. So I'd bop in for three nights. Right. 125, 125. Do that math. That's 375. Cleaning fee was 150.

[01:06:08] Bo-yo-yoing. Yeah. There's a big fuck you for that. But also that's fine, except you make me clean it. I got to strip beds. They have to. Tiles have to be in the bathtub. Don't forget the trash, by the way, which I walked all the way up and was

[01:06:20] locked because it's winter. Well, where that where the fuck. So I had to drive it to like Starbucks. I hate to say I did that, but I did it because my mom's like don't you dare talk to my son. And then I thought I can totally out

[01:06:31] fox my mom. Right. No. She would Hawkeye in on me in the trash. Let's focus on it. And I'm like, shit. So now I got to drive this trash in a rental car up to the thing. I don't know. I'm sick of it.

[01:06:43] Problematic. It's I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the one lady in the Ozarks. I won't use a name because everybody and we all had to share stuff. And they're all you're single. You make you make money. You go. So I rented a place. It's fine.

[01:07:01] She locked me out. Yeah, it was 10 to 10. And I was supposed to get out by 10. I was getting out and the door was locked in my luggage is in there. Yeah. I'd taken one bag down. I had another bag. I did have my phone, but she wasn't answering.

[01:07:18] I mean, she's not the front desk. And then I'm like, I have a flight. I got to go. I got to drive three hours to St. Louis or Kansas City wherever I was going. One of the two. I don't know. Wealthy now. It's hard to feel sorry

[01:07:30] for wealthy second home Cape Cod owners. But they after the pandemic boom, they're not getting the rent anymore. The shoreline ones are offered for upward of fifteen hundred a night. However, some rentals are admitting they had to slash their prices due to summer season due to a

[01:07:47] fall off in interest. Wow. They said during the pandemic they could book their homes three times over and you were greedy little pigs when you did it, weren't you? Yeah. I have a problem. I'm hung up on the cleaning fee and I'm cleaning.

[01:08:01] Yeah. It's one or the other. I'll clean it. No problem. But don't charge me one night stay. And I didn't even use the other bedroom. And I have to strip that thing. I have to strip a bed I didn't use. Well, per the eighteen thousand

[01:08:16] instructions and I got to turn off water. I mean, we're in the Ozarks. It's a summer place. Winterize. And well, you know, I go. But this is too. It's a summer place. It's definitely slower. This this is all in Cape Cod. There's a modest house.

[01:08:33] It's on the ocean. It's 15. These people need to go to the panhandle. This is what somebody wrote. And I totally agree with Mia Makia. What a crazy name. Mia Makia. Maybe that's one name. Mia Makia. I know people are sick of having to

[01:08:48] strip their own beds and do the dishes, take their trash out and everything else the owners make them do before they leave on top of the ridiculous cleaning fees. 100 percent agree. And if there was one hotel at the Ozarks, it was was

[01:09:02] just better than what we have so far. I would. But some areas, it's just not really a thing like the hotels aren't a thing. It used to be resorts, family resorts like, you know, Ozark fishing resorts. And those are kind of gone and now it's all condo.

[01:09:18] So I'm just going to build a house there. Now we that. Fuck all of you. So this was during covid. It all went crazy. But now they can't feel anything and they're all super upset about it. Well, I have friends who bought

[01:09:33] a house in Florida and I'm not sure that they're excited about that. Right. But my brother as a financial advisor, Patrick will tell anybody that walks in his office goes, oh, we're just going to buy the end quote, rent it out. They say it like a throwaway.

[01:09:47] Yeah. We're just going to rent it out. It is not quite so simple anymore. Don't count on that. You can hope for it. And it's bonus money. But they say it's across the board. Nationwide. Oh, this one for nine hundred seventy. But how many people

[01:10:05] does he you know, how many people can go in here? How can we split it up? And then also, I don't know. Cities like Nashville, everybody's selling shit to be an Airbnb and I don't want to live next door to one. Exactly. Oh, the condos, the Ozarks.

[01:10:19] And like my sister said, I don't even know who's in this place anymore. And I used to know. And you've got two teenage girls and they're going to the pool at eleven o'clock at night. What if there's like weirdos up there? You know?

[01:10:30] And then the girls are like, yeah, we know how to take care of ourselves. What is she talking about? Like, does she think we're dumb enough to like get in a car with people we don't know? I'm like, I think she's saying I think she's totally insulting your

[01:10:44] intelligence. I don't know. Are you guys done with it? Are you fed up with it? I am. Comments are. Well, if you're renting yours out, do you feel good about that? Right. I wouldn't if my cleaning fee is equal to one night. Now, if this is fifteen hundred

[01:11:05] dollars, but I guarantee you that clean fee ain't one fifty. I'm sure it's four fifty. I wonder if that's if they said like if the owner of sex, the cleaning fee and that's how they make more money. I don't know who sets the cleaning

[01:11:19] fee. I thought VRBO and them did all that, but I don't think so. I think I'm completely wrong about that. Somebody does anybody know? Here's a nice story. A hundred and four year old has been a professional lobster woman since she was eight.

[01:11:38] This is this lady. We report on her every year. Just so you all know, she had a birthday. Virginia Oliver. She's worked in the family business since she was eight. She gets up at 3 a.m. thrice a week. Who wrote this to start her shift?

[01:11:52] She says she's going to do the job till she dies. She goes out thick fog, stormy seas, heavy traffic. Haven't stopped the centurion from stepping aboard her son, Max's boat three times a week. Well, she considers the only danger she faced were an occasional cut

[01:12:11] while she banded lobster claws together. Yeah, they said she was born in 1920. The 19th Amendment let us vote that year. Women. Oh, they have a documentary. The Lobster Lady released in 2020 when it started out with lobstering. No women ever went. She has never experienced sexism in

[01:12:34] the job and said the lobster, the lobster men were very friendly. Yeah. She goes to bed at nine o'clock before. Well, shit. If I had to get up at three, I'd be in bed at six. Yeah. She that's what she goes to bed at

[01:12:49] nine. So she gets enough sleep. Good for you. Yeah. Let's hope she makes it to. She still likes a lobster roll as long as it's toasted. I agree. I agree if it's not. I like the lobster rolls in Maine. I could use a little more mayo. Just saying.

[01:13:09] I know it's not purist, but I would probably I loved them. But I also like just a little more mayo and celery. I'm a chowder. There are chowders perfect. I'm a chowder monster and I would weigh seven thousand bazillion pounds if I live there all the time,

[01:13:28] because that's all I want. I'm a chowder monster. I'm a chowder monster. I'm a chowder monster. And I don't know how I would eat that. I don't know how I would eat it all the time because that's all I would eat. And then the people up there say

[01:13:39] they don't tire of it either. Yeah. Because I'm like, I know this sounds hacky, but I really know I ate clam chowder in the airport at nine o'clock on Sunday morning. I saw legal seafoods and I'm like, I'm doing it. And I was like, oh, shit, it's

[01:13:52] open, but they're serving breakfast. And I go, is there any way I could? And the girl's like, sure, I'll go heat one up for you. How nice was that? I'm a big fan of old people canceling concerts. So, you know, buy your tickets carefully. Neil Young has canceled

[01:14:05] his whole tour. So I don't know how you feel about that. Neil Young is 78 years old. You know, for the children. Yeah. I've been a miner for a heart of gold. He's Canadian. He's a Canadian icon. Well, he's sick. Somebody's sick in the band.

[01:14:22] He pissed on Leonard Skinner a long time ago. Yeah, him and Leonard Skinner got into it. Southern man don't need any more. This is this is a great, great. Well, let's do two more and then I'm going to tell you how to keep

[01:14:40] the dog safe on Fourth of July. Yes. Well, as best you can with the noise. And I did buy a couple fireworks. But at the fireworks, the redneck want to go to. I bought the kids packages just like little tanks and stuff. It's not going to hurt.

[01:14:53] It's not going to freak animals out. I got the pooping dog. I got the chicken laying an egg. I get all the all the stuff for the little kids, but which is you, but I is it? Yeah, it's partially me. Yeah, I want it.

[01:15:06] I really like the videos for TikTok. Because the most inane thing I could ever post will get more views than anything I thought was super smart. Yeah. Want to see this dog? Tick tocks all about dumb ass. And I'm not I'm there for it. Seattle Mariners.

[01:15:23] Now I need to be a Mariners fan. Whoa. Whoa. Who's calling me? I kept that on because I needed the name of that show. Seattle Mariners fans grab free hot dogs drop from the sky. Oh, fine. Oh, I saw this. I love a hot dog.

[01:15:40] And I know like my healthy friends would say, don't have a hot dog. It's not like I have one every day. It's maybe at the golf course every now and then. And at a ballgame. But boy, how great would it be

[01:15:53] if you looked up and they came in tiny, tiny parachutes? They were playing the Oakland A's. It's just so fantastic. They they just dumped a whole plane. Hot dogs from heaven. They call it hot dogs from heaven. How exciting would that be? That would be super exciting.

[01:16:12] Here's a crazy story before we do tell you how to keep your dogs like less anxious during the fireworks. This is Missouri. Missouri's finest. Lebanon, Missouri, not far from Lake of the Ozarks. Just a shit kick and a drop down the road. This lady, she's 41. She's a nurse.

[01:16:32] Oh, I'm sorry. No, not this. I don't understand. Forget I said that. Deputies in the Cleve County, Missouri, arrested a woman accused of spiking her husband's Mountain Dew with Roundup. She didn't even bother to Google. Oh, it smells terrible. And first of all, you know, Roundup, Michelle Peters, 47.

[01:16:58] She faces first degree domestic assault and armed criminal action. Oh, my gosh. Here's a picture. She looks like a yoga mom. She doesn't look nothing crazy. She added Roundup product to her husband's Mountain Dew. Patrick and I have ongoing jokes about Mountain Dew.

[01:17:17] And yeah, who's going to get a Mountain Dew on several occasions? She did it a bunch of times in May and June. She also spiked his drink with an incesticide. The man began to suspect something wrong with his drink after he started feeling ill. The victim provided surveillance

[01:17:32] videos to law enforcement that indicated Peter was tampering with the Mountain Dew in the garage refrigerator. Went right out to the garage fridge and went, fuck him. Yeah, she forgot she had her own ring. Oh, my God. She you know why she did it? Pay attention, men.

[01:17:52] He didn't show enough appreciation for the 50th birthday party she planned for him. I'm just going, fuck you. I'm gonna kill you. Fuck you. Yeah. You know what he you know what he loves? He loves his Mountain Dew. I'm gonna go fix him to get me some Roundup.

[01:18:14] I'm gonna put it right on in there. Can you imagine what it would do to the ice? Oh, my God. I like that this guy drank it a few times, though, before he caught on to, hey, something weird is in my Roundup. Man, normally the Mountain Dew gives

[01:18:29] me a picker-upper. So this is an article on how to keep your dog calm during fireworks display. There's a picture of a wonderful Basset Hound. Anything in the hound group is my favorite. Here's the first one. I don't necessarily love this piece of advice. Don't communicate your stress.

[01:18:51] If they feel that you're upset, they will pick up and then energy will feed their stress. You can't your dog can't tell if you're angry or frightened. He just knows giving off the vibe and something isn't right. Number two, act calm. Talk calmly to your dog.

[01:19:03] If you oh, this is if you're out taking him for a walk. Why would you do that? Keep your dog indoors. I don't know why people close the curtains and close the windows. The sights of flashes in the sky could make the dog anxious.

[01:19:16] Closing the windows and doors can act as a barrier. Turn on dog TV. Dog TV dot com. When you turn on ambient noise. Well, baby cat likes Eurocup soccer. She loves Ronaldo. And Nickelodeon and my friend, Aubrey, who comes over when I'm

[01:19:34] gone, leaves a lot of she loves Nickelodeon, according to Aubrey. Don't turn. You don't want to turn up your television to an ear shattering level, but you can turn it on to help calm, relax your pup and distract. Tire your puppy out.

[01:19:47] That's probably a good idea on the fourth. Get out of town. Where are you going to go where there's no right. Oh, another tip is make sure your dog is not able to escape and dash off into the night. What? I don't know. I tried. I tried.

[01:20:09] I tried. And all of the fireworks that I purchased for little kids actually now, even at the Redneck tent have noise ratings. Yeah. They'll say super loud, moderate, whatever, because people are starting to be a little more conscious of that. And that's good, though.

[01:20:25] Right. We can't the odds of stopping fireworks displays slim to none. So we'll work within it. And mine are all no noise. Minor daytimes. I like it. I love a daytime parachute. I love it. Even as an adult, I will fucking run in those woods and get ticks

[01:20:42] and triggers all day long to rescue my soldier. It's patriotic. And I really love the nighttime parachutes because but then I'm always afraid I'm going to catch somebody's house. Oh, there's spectacular. You see a little guy. He should be glow in the dark. I plan to get Norman.

[01:21:03] And the lady bugs, the lady bugs, they burnt my driveway and sort of the tanks. They don't get any more love from me. Shout outs. And then we're going to do our quotes from Tay-Tay. Move on. Ryan and Ben in Portland, Maine brought the Moose pint glasses.

[01:21:21] Very adorable. Maine stickers. I already threw some on my calendar book. Melissa brought the local sour beer cat treats. They love any kind of cat treat. They literally go through my suitcase when I get home. They're tiny little pictures. Oh, the Jersey sarcasm. That's from Fran from Saddlebrook,

[01:21:40] New Jersey. The kitty can't cope snack. Cat pit. Catnip snack. Mario and Indy. They the catnip. I mean, the banana, the cocaine banana. Yeah. Some a termite sent me one. And then there's a rainbow too. They they tore it apart. Yeah. And the rainbow, they ate

[01:22:00] through it and then it poof. This catnip flew all over the family room. It's in the carpet. And then it was just a crazy narcos party. The cats were like, BAM! They're jumping off the fireplace. I'm like, oh, simmer the fuck down.

[01:22:14] But they so I had to go online and replace the banana. Yeah. There was a cocaine uprising. Yeah. They were looking at me like, you know, you're our El Chapo. Right. Bob, Corinthian and Diana brought local beer, Maine popcorn and Maine camp. Maine camp is a thing.

[01:22:34] Yeah. Like people from the Midwest, we would say, oh, you're going to your Lake place. That could mean a trailer. It could mean a spot. They they always say, oh, well, we're going to camp. But I think they mean they're camping. They're not.

[01:22:48] No, it's a spot they have. I know they brought the seasoning. So that's awesome. And then UPS. I got to know what was done. This one almost made me cry because it's a jackalope thing. I'll take it on the road for dad. Yes. There's a deer that keeps

[01:23:04] showing up. And I think maybe it's a sign from my dad. But then I'm like, if it's a girl deer or so, maybe he's transitioning in the next life. Maybe he wants to be a female deer because people are less likely to shoot that one. Right.

[01:23:16] My mom goes, don't say that. I'm like, Jesus, mom, track with me. I like the jackalope bag. Thank you. Let me. I said one from the city of Chicago once to one of my nieces or nephew. I used to send postcards. Now you can't even find them.

[01:23:34] But it said jackalope going down Michigan Avenue. And they were like, is that real? Oh, my God. Who are your parents? Who are your parents? The Vegas. Oh, El Cortez hotel hats from Dana and Ron in Vegas and Dana. Sorry. They said they own it.

[01:23:52] I guess I believe them. Yeah, that's fantastic. I'm good. They said I could have free drinks. I'm going Labor Day weekend. Watch out, Dana and Ron, because I can drink. Oh, my God. These are the Spanish hairboots. Look, I know it's hairboat, whatever. It's too late for

[01:24:09] me now. Hostos de Oro, El Original, desde 1922. So much better than your Mandarin. Yep. Right. It's way better than my Mandarin. The Cher T-shirt, I love. Unknown termite. No note? I don't know who did that. The hairboot wears it from Amy in Prosper, Texas. OK.

[01:24:34] And picnic shoestring potatoes. I love them. You can send a million. I don't expect you to. But that's from Claudia and Apollo, Apollo Beach, Florida. And then this book. This is a funny little letter. And then we'll have a funny postcard

[01:24:49] and I'll get to my quotes and be done. But this one, this made me laugh. Hi, Kathleen. I thought you might enjoy the enclosed book. On the podcast, you've often championed women whose accomplishments have gone unrecognized. This book is about Jerry Mock, a suburban housewife who in 1964

[01:25:03] was the first woman to fly solo across the world. What? Right. How come this lady, Jerry Mock? And she's probably rolling over in a grave going, fuck Amelia Earhart. I did shit. She could also get Coteri's award. Right. This letter is from Dan. My wife, Vicky, retired.

[01:25:22] Enjoyed you. You hear my words still? I got invited to their 50th wedding anniversary party. I'm not gonna say where, but it's in Montana at a bar that I sound like I would really like. And now I'm working in New York. And he said, you never know.

[01:25:35] It's right. Free beer and tacos. In Montana. Yeah. So that's great. I'm gonna read that book. I read a lot on planes, especially lately. Delta. Could you stop sending regional jets that have no TV, no nothing, no fun? And then the Wi-Fi sucks. I never trashed Delta.

[01:25:52] But I've had three really bad flights. Yes. This is just a postcard. Nobody does this anymore. And it's of Wayne Newton. It made me laugh so hard. Wayne Newton Theater. Here he is by a ranch. He looks like he's at Yellowstone. Mom, a termite. Happy summer.

[01:26:08] I had to Google if Wayne Newton was still alive. Yes, I do it all the time. He is much like your Vegas bit about people you thought were dead. My household from Humboldt County wanted to send something to you and the family for your dad.

[01:26:25] Much love from California. Humboldt County. I watched a thing about the marijuana trade up there and it looks a little questionable. I felt very up there. Reading California. I just read it's going to be like one hundred twenty two degrees and then some I don't know who but

[01:26:46] are a self-proclaimed nermite, a nerd termite. It's Madigan's podcast. It's got a little checklist. They made it on this little printout piece of paper. Updates front page pub news. What to watch this week. It's great. It's just great. And really smart people.

[01:27:03] I'm going to get in that peanut butter and then here's our quotes and now we're out of here. You guys have a good Fourth of July. Happy Canada Day to all the Canadaites. The Canites. This. Oh, Tay Tay said this is in the Miss Americana

[01:27:25] documentary, which I did enjoy. She said, I want to wear pink and tell you how I feel about politics and I don't think that those things have to cancel each other out. Mic drop. I feel like, though, I always wear the same thing on stage.

[01:27:41] I don't want people to pay any attention to my clothes because I think you'll pay more attention to what I'm saying. If my clothes are neither here nor there. Oh, she has jeans and a T-shirt on. Great. Then we don't think about it. Dolly. Let's see.

[01:27:57] Promise I'll bring her cast iron. You will bring it next week. So heavy. On realness in an interview with Elle magazine. I'm totally real as a writer and as a professional, as a human being. A rhinestone shines just as good as a diamond.

[01:28:20] Well, here's another one on plastic surgery in Southern Living. If they ask. This is on plastic surgery. If they ask me, I just say, yeah, whatever. And I ain't done yet. OK. All right. What am I doing for the fourth? I'm going to go.

[01:28:39] Well, a bunch of places. Hopscotch around and drinking other people's booze. Yep. Hopefully all from a kayak. That's my plan. I'm just going to rock up to various docks and say, do you any alcohol? Nope. I can't even get a B-U-I in a kayak because it's not motorized.

[01:28:59] I'm the motor. And if this motor gives out. As I would say, have a good fourth and have a good weekend off for people that get Friday off for the nine to fiver, Monday through Fridays. At least I thought it was a rip off

[01:29:15] on Wednesday because then it was too confusing. I also think it's a rip off for working people and nine fivers when it's a Friday or Saturday. You would have it all. You get to take the one before or after. I don't know. And then it gets complicated.

[01:29:26] Because if it's Saturday, then you get Friday. Sunday, Monday. Oh, is that how that works? Yeah. I didn't last long enough in corporate America. I said a year and a half. I must have been off that fourth and not bitched about it or I remember

[01:29:40] you can't play with fire in corporate America. You can't do any of this in corporate America. No, I just worked and drank while I did it. And I ate Tato's. By the way, Tato's, the Irish chips, I love so much. They have a mascot. Mr. Tato danced with

[01:29:57] Tay Tay on stage. No. Yeah. That would have gotten me more excited than Taylor Swift. Mr. Tato. Well, it's like seeing Bucky. Crazy. All right, termites. Know what to go watch. Go have fun. Hope it doesn't rain. It's going to apparently pour here.

[01:30:16] I don't know if that's true or not. I don't trust him anymore. They're always off, like badly off though lately. I do like the weather people per se, but forecasts have been bad. A lot of rounding up. Well, we didn't see them. So you promised.

[01:30:32] But we did see a little bit of rain for it. He'd make up. Oh, my God. You could've been out all day. Stop covering your ass. Just say we fucked up or whatever. Blame somebody else. Before the July. Yeah, USA. Yeah, USA. Happy Canada Day. Yeah. No.

[01:30:52] You're welcome. All right. That's.