Episode 176: Zombie Cicadas, Midwest Orangutans & The Original Harry Potter

[00:00:01] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigans Pubcast.

[00:00:11] You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:17] Termites!

[00:00:25] Yeah, episode 176, welcome.

[00:00:28] Look, there's a little fire to make Stevie look even witchier.

[00:00:31] Welcome, welcome.

[00:00:34] Um...

[00:00:36] Here we are!

[00:00:37] What are we drinking?

[00:00:39] Well, I've been in Nashville so I have chicken scratch.

[00:00:41] There's giant billboards for this if you come to Nashville.

[00:00:44] It's a little Harper's Brewery and it's worth it.

[00:00:46] Yeah, it's not a session beer.

[00:00:48] You can't have six in a boat.

[00:00:50] You shouldn't have six in a boat if you're not...

[00:00:52] Well, you can't be driving the boat.

[00:00:54] Yeah, it's bad.

[00:00:55] But if you were to have six beers in a boat, if you were,

[00:00:59] um, it's delicious, but you probably only want like two.

[00:01:03] Because it kind of tastes like it's got a lot of butter in it.

[00:01:06] But if you see one, grab one if you're a beer person.

[00:01:09] Delicious.

[00:01:10] What are we eating?

[00:01:12] Because last week I forgot.

[00:01:14] So, um, we're going to start...

[00:01:16] I'm going to settle an argument.

[00:01:18] So there's these really cool...

[00:01:20] I don't know if you call it gas stations or...

[00:01:22] Up in Maine, sometimes they have live music.

[00:01:24] I don't know what to call it.

[00:01:26] You go in there, there's...

[00:01:27] Northeast.

[00:01:28] Yeah, they're in the Northeast.

[00:01:29] Um, Hannaford, the one in Maine though I went in had a musician.

[00:01:32] Like someone playing a guitar.

[00:01:33] It was really crazy.

[00:01:34] Connecticut.

[00:01:35] Yeah.

[00:01:36] Um, well they make their own Cheez-Its.

[00:01:38] Kind of.

[00:01:39] And this is from Aiden in Maine.

[00:01:42] He wants to know if I like these better because his wife likes Cheez-Its better.

[00:01:45] Here we go.

[00:01:46] These are white cheddar though.

[00:01:47] I don't know if that's a fair comparison.

[00:01:50] Oh, too much for me, Aiden.

[00:01:53] I'm your wife.

[00:01:56] Well, it settles down after a minute.

[00:01:59] The cheddar settles?

[00:02:01] I wonder if this is how rich people feel about caviar and I'm doing it with Cheez-Its.

[00:02:05] Well, it settles down.

[00:02:06] Give it a minute.

[00:02:07] It does settle down.

[00:02:09] It hits you pretty hard out of the gate.

[00:02:11] No.

[00:02:12] No?

[00:02:13] They're fine.

[00:02:14] Yeah?

[00:02:15] Yeah.

[00:02:16] I like them, but I'd rather have a real Cheez-It.

[00:02:19] Do they pair well with beer?

[00:02:21] They will pair well with beer because it sort of tastes like a little bit of a pretzel too.

[00:02:24] Nice!

[00:02:25] Yeah.

[00:02:26] Um, then this made me laugh.

[00:02:29] In Detroit, I didn't have time to do this.

[00:02:31] Stephanie Allison brought this licorice and they said it was made by old-time Italian mobsters.

[00:02:35] I don't really understand.

[00:02:36] What?

[00:02:37] I don't know.

[00:02:38] It says, old-fashioned red licorice, made special since 1930.

[00:02:41] I do like red.

[00:02:42] I hate black for the record.

[00:02:44] Termites don't ever say.

[00:02:45] Um.

[00:02:48] That's aggressive, buddy.

[00:02:50] Well, I try to avoid red crowns with licorice.

[00:02:53] Yeah.

[00:02:54] Trying to bite in one spot.

[00:02:58] It's alright.

[00:02:59] It's sweet.

[00:03:00] You know.

[00:03:01] Yeah?

[00:03:02] It's good.

[00:03:03] Okay.

[00:03:04] I only like the one that bounced, but I can't think of any other.

[00:03:07] Twizzlers.

[00:03:08] Yeah, these.

[00:03:09] Yeah.

[00:03:10] The one in Walgreens.

[00:03:11] Right.

[00:03:12] That one.

[00:03:13] This one's good.

[00:03:14] They gave it a good run.

[00:03:15] Good?

[00:03:16] It's somewhere between old school and new school.

[00:03:18] Okay.

[00:03:19] So that's my review.

[00:03:20] Cool.

[00:03:21] Alright.

[00:03:22] Next, before we get to Queen and King news, a lot of Queen news.

[00:03:25] A lot of Queen news.

[00:03:26] Nice.

[00:03:27] Mm-hmm.

[00:03:29] Um.

[00:03:31] This is smoky Serbian baked peanuts.

[00:03:34] Who knew the Serbs were doing this?

[00:03:36] Wow.

[00:03:37] Alright.

[00:03:38] This is from, um, uh, hold on.

[00:03:41] The Termite Jamie.

[00:03:42] Let's see.

[00:03:43] Okay.

[00:03:44] It doesn't look like a peanut.

[00:03:45] It looks like a Cheeto.

[00:03:46] Yeah.

[00:03:47] No, like a cheese puff.

[00:03:48] Cheese puff.

[00:03:51] Wow.

[00:03:52] Surprisingly delicious.

[00:03:53] They're really good.

[00:03:54] Really?

[00:03:55] Wow.

[00:03:56] Now I'm gonna be searching for these on the internet.

[00:03:57] Seriously?

[00:03:58] I don't know how this is gonna consume my afternoon.

[00:03:59] How do I get smoky original fresh baked peanuts?

[00:04:02] This is not a peanut though.

[00:04:04] It's a puffed peanut.

[00:04:05] It's a puff.

[00:04:06] It's a peanut puff.

[00:04:08] They're really good though.

[00:04:10] Yeah.

[00:04:11] Well done, Jamie.

[00:04:12] Last one.

[00:04:13] Um, uh, check these off as I do them or I'll forget.

[00:04:17] Oh, yeah, okay.

[00:04:18] One more and then we're moving on.

[00:04:20] Picard's ranch potato chip covered peanuts.

[00:04:23] God, the children will put ranch on anything.

[00:04:26] They will.

[00:04:27] I saw a recipe on Instagram of this chicken shit you make in a crock pot and then you

[00:04:32] just dump ranch.

[00:04:33] And then you leave it in there.

[00:04:35] And apparently the ranch, you put some other stuff, I don't know.

[00:04:38] I'm totally gonna do it.

[00:04:39] I can do anything in a crock pot.

[00:04:41] You can.

[00:04:42] I can.

[00:04:43] Wing ding ranch and sriracha flavored peanuts.

[00:04:49] Too confusing.

[00:04:50] Yeah.

[00:04:51] When you have the palate of a nine year old, I can't have all this going on.

[00:04:55] No.

[00:04:56] Um, they are from, oh, they're from a Canadian.

[00:05:01] I want what I call a Canadian termite.

[00:05:04] Oh.

[00:05:05] Canadite.

[00:05:06] No.

[00:05:07] I don't know.

[00:05:08] We'll have to vote.

[00:05:09] We'll let them do it.

[00:05:10] Canadian termites.

[00:05:11] Anyway, it's from Kitchener and Waterloo.

[00:05:14] They're from Kendra and Sarah.

[00:05:16] Nice.

[00:05:17] From Waterloo, Ontario.

[00:05:20] From Kitchener.

[00:05:22] I don't know.

[00:05:23] They're pretty good.

[00:05:24] Yeah?

[00:05:25] I'd eat them at a ball game.

[00:05:27] You know?

[00:05:28] Specifically.

[00:05:29] Yeah.

[00:05:30] If you could get a bag of these, you'd be good for the game.

[00:05:33] Some beers and this goes really great with beer.

[00:05:35] Well done.

[00:05:36] And your nine year old palate.

[00:05:37] Yeah.

[00:05:38] Um, all right.

[00:05:40] That.

[00:05:41] And then I forgot who sent me this.

[00:05:44] I'll do it at the end.

[00:05:46] If I have it.

[00:05:47] I don't remember, but it's Mr. Bill from Saturday Night Live.

[00:05:49] Hey, Steve!

[00:05:51] Oh, no.

[00:05:53] It still makes me laugh.

[00:05:54] It's been, what, 150 years since that was on?

[00:05:56] Yeah.

[00:05:57] Still makes me laugh.

[00:05:58] Good for them.

[00:05:59] All right, moving on.

[00:06:00] Termites.

[00:06:01] So, well, I'm going to do the upcoming shows because I think it's better if I do those

[00:06:04] at the top and then I got some thank yous for stuff in the post office box and I was

[00:06:07] in a lot of trouble because I haven't been there in a while.

[00:06:10] I had to take a little shit for that.

[00:06:12] You got fined.

[00:06:13] I did it.

[00:06:14] I got a fine.

[00:06:15] You got fined?

[00:06:16] I know.

[00:06:17] A fucking fine.

[00:06:18] Really?

[00:06:19] Yeah, you did.

[00:06:20] Really?

[00:06:21] $14.

[00:06:22] $14.

[00:06:23] I'm sorry.

[00:06:24] It's like Walgreens stalking me.

[00:06:25] We have your medicine ready.

[00:06:26] Get here within an hour or we're throwing this shit back.

[00:06:28] All right, don't threaten.

[00:06:29] Don't threaten.

[00:06:30] I'm coming, Walgreens!

[00:06:31] I do like the texting, though.

[00:06:38] So, we're just moving on then.

[00:06:41] Oh, no, but the shows.

[00:06:42] I'm going to do the shows.

[00:06:43] Here's where we're going.

[00:06:45] That peanut got me.

[00:06:48] Sorry.

[00:06:49] June 8th.

[00:06:50] West Hampton, New York.

[00:06:52] June 16th.

[00:06:53] Charles Todd.

[00:06:54] You know what I want to do before I go to West Hampton?

[00:06:56] I can't even believe this is possible.

[00:06:58] Jessica Lange is in a play in New York.

[00:07:01] I don't go to plays and I definitely don't go to musicals

[00:07:04] unless my friend Marklyn Baker is in them,

[00:07:06] I will go to support it.

[00:07:07] But I drew the line at Music Man.

[00:07:09] I'm like, Mark, I love you.

[00:07:11] Mark is Louis' friend and Marklyn Baker, if you remember,

[00:07:14] was Perfect Strangers.

[00:07:15] That's where Sparky Marky got famous off that.

[00:07:18] But he's a wonderful actor.

[00:07:19] He's been in a million movies and he was in My Favorite Year.

[00:07:23] I only know two actors in my whole life, Amy Aquino,

[00:07:26] who by the way one of her neighbors sent me a very funny.

[00:07:30] Apparently Amy is talking to them about plastics too.

[00:07:34] But the lady likes the advice.

[00:07:36] So it's fine, but I'm never home.

[00:07:39] Amy will come to this house and like she reset my dishwasher

[00:07:43] and the dishes aren't clean.

[00:07:44] I mean, I don't know how much water we're saving or whatever.

[00:07:48] And then the dryer, she reset that.

[00:07:50] And like the clothes aren't fucking dry, Amy.

[00:07:52] I'm never here.

[00:07:53] I'm not abusing water.

[00:07:55] If I'm a problem, you have to call Marriott

[00:07:58] and talk to my gay grandparents

[00:08:00] because they're the ones that I'm using their water,

[00:08:03] their everything.

[00:08:04] I am not.

[00:08:05] Amy has very good solutions though

[00:08:07] and she's right about everything.

[00:08:08] It's just too late for this lady.

[00:08:14] Anyway, so I only know two actors.

[00:08:16] Amy and Mark.

[00:08:17] And Mark, you know, Lou's like, well, don't you want to go?

[00:08:21] He was in Music Man with Hugh Jackman.

[00:08:23] And I said, Louis, I'm going to tell you this one more time.

[00:08:26] You call me when Jaws is a musical.

[00:08:29] Then I'm coming.

[00:08:31] Maybe Scarface the musical.

[00:08:35] I mean, it had to be something I was interested in to begin with.

[00:08:38] But I've seen Mark in a lot.

[00:08:39] He's always great.

[00:08:40] And he will admit that he had a man crush on Hugh Jackman.

[00:08:45] And then he got divorced like six months later.

[00:08:47] I sent Sparky Marky a text.

[00:08:49] I said, now's your chance.

[00:08:50] But Mark's not even gay.

[00:08:51] I'm like, I don't know how you overcome that.

[00:08:53] But he's available!

[00:08:57] But anyway, I went to one play in my life

[00:09:00] because Sally Field was in it.

[00:09:01] And it was the man who wrote Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

[00:09:04] So I thought the play would be great.

[00:09:05] I couldn't believe I could see Sally Field live in person.

[00:09:09] She's a movie star to me.

[00:09:10] I couldn't believe she was going to come out on the stage

[00:09:12] for an hour and a half.

[00:09:13] And she did.

[00:09:14] The play was ridiculous.

[00:09:15] I cannot believe the same man who wrote Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf,

[00:09:19] which I think is the best writing that's ever been done,

[00:09:21] ever on anything, ever, ever.

[00:09:24] This play was called The Goat.

[00:09:26] And it was how her husband fell in love with a goat.

[00:09:28] I'm like, oh, I can't buy this premise.

[00:09:31] This is fucking crazy.

[00:09:33] And it went on for, I'm like,

[00:09:34] I know people have sex with goats, but falling in love is different.

[00:09:37] You don't tell me you fell in love with it.

[00:09:39] Just say, I got weird and had sex with the goat in the back.

[00:09:42] Okay, that's really weird.

[00:09:44] I don't know how to deal with that, but don't tell me you're in love anyway.

[00:09:48] The play was stupid.

[00:09:49] Maybe it's a pretty goat.

[00:09:51] Well, I love all goats, but I don't fall in love with the goat.

[00:09:54] I love, I really love goats in pajamas.

[00:09:57] I follow every single account on Instagram.

[00:09:59] And then my friends Amy and Andrew have goats.

[00:10:01] And then my friend Emily at the UPS thing,

[00:10:04] who's always tired of seeing my ass,

[00:10:06] she has a baby goat that wears pajamas.

[00:10:08] There's a lot of people in Nashville that have goats.

[00:10:11] Many more than in LA.

[00:10:13] And I can also count in Nashville on any guy

[00:10:16] that comes over to work at this house,

[00:10:18] at some point he will tell me he lived off the grid.

[00:10:20] They've all done it.

[00:10:21] They love it.

[00:10:22] They can't wait to get back to living off the grid.

[00:10:25] 150 watts.

[00:10:26] Yeah, 150 watts.

[00:10:27] There's no need for all that.

[00:10:28] I'm like, yeah, but your blow dryer doesn't work.

[00:10:30] You do need the 220.

[00:10:32] I know you think you can live.

[00:10:34] Anyway, Jessica Lange is in a play in New York.

[00:10:37] And I love, love, love Jessica Lange.

[00:10:39] So I would like to do that before I go out

[00:10:41] to the Hamptons, darling, to do my little show.

[00:10:43] But I have to see if I can do that.

[00:10:45] June 16th, Charlestown, West Virginia.

[00:10:47] June 29th, Portland, Maine.

[00:10:48] Yay, yay.

[00:10:49] I might go see my friend Peter Kostas before that

[00:10:52] and his wife Sandy.

[00:10:53] Because they're up in Maine.

[00:10:55] Yeah, he's a Maine guy.

[00:10:56] If you guys know golf, Peter Kostas, CBS,

[00:10:59] the announcer for Forever and Ever.

[00:11:01] I think he's the only person I know

[00:11:03] that I've ever heard of being great at golf

[00:11:06] and you're from Maine.

[00:11:08] It's very difficult.

[00:11:09] And really, he was a football player.

[00:11:11] A lot of people probably don't know that.

[00:11:13] Yeah, you heard his name.

[00:11:14] Anyway, July 26th, San Antonio.

[00:11:17] Rosarios, I can't wait.

[00:11:19] There's no really not great Mexican food in Nashville.

[00:11:22] There's probably a couple spots that they'll brag about,

[00:11:24] but not really.

[00:11:25] Not like Texas.

[00:11:27] July 27th, Austin, Texas.

[00:11:29] Hello, Matt Salrencho.

[00:11:31] Margatinis.

[00:11:32] And yes, I also have shows.

[00:11:33] I'm just telling you where I'm going to go eat.

[00:11:35] Right.

[00:11:36] And maybe Tater Salad Mr. Rum will be home, I don't know.

[00:11:40] August 2nd, Marietta, Ohio.

[00:11:42] August 3rd, Cincinnati, Ohio.

[00:11:44] Time for a little Skyline Chili.

[00:11:46] That's how I feel about Skyline Chili.

[00:11:49] Ah!

[00:11:51] They brag about it.

[00:11:53] They love it.

[00:11:54] I do like it.

[00:11:55] I like it.

[00:11:56] Their Chili Mac and stuff.

[00:11:57] It's got cumin in it.

[00:11:58] Oh, is that it?

[00:11:59] That's the red flag warning.

[00:12:01] Yep, a lot of people, it's acquired taste.

[00:12:04] August 10th, Niagara Falls, Ontario.

[00:12:06] Boom!

[00:12:07] I'll be done drinking beers by the waterfall.

[00:12:10] August 24th, Hampton Beach, New Hampshire.

[00:12:13] I did it last time.

[00:12:14] It's one of the craziest venues.

[00:12:16] One of the best clubs.

[00:12:17] It's like a giant club.

[00:12:18] It's super cool.

[00:12:19] And everybody that ever performed there,

[00:12:20] it's crazy seeing the shit on the walls.

[00:12:22] I took a video last time.

[00:12:24] August 30th and 31st, the Venetian.

[00:12:27] That's Labor Day weekend.

[00:12:28] That'd be fun.

[00:12:29] Yeah.

[00:12:30] September 6th, Tarrytown.

[00:12:32] Not so hot.

[00:12:33] November 7th, Wilmington, Delaware.

[00:12:36] That's always a good gig.

[00:12:38] They're always very, very nice there.

[00:12:40] There's an old Southern lady that's in charge

[00:12:42] of the meet and greet.

[00:12:44] I don't do meet and greets for the record.

[00:12:45] People always ask.

[00:12:46] I don't do it.

[00:12:47] I don't feel comfortable charging people to meet me.

[00:12:49] I like to view myself as a leprechaun.

[00:12:51] I'm out in your town.

[00:12:52] If you know what I do and what I think,

[00:12:54] you will find me.

[00:12:55] I am findable.

[00:12:56] I will take selfies or whatever you want.

[00:12:57] Sit down, have a beer.

[00:12:58] It happens all the time.

[00:12:59] But their meet and greets are for their...

[00:13:02] Donors.

[00:13:03] Donor people, yeah.

[00:13:04] And they're always fast and they're super nice.

[00:13:06] So moving into king and queen news.

[00:13:09] Nice.

[00:13:10] Just posted a video.

[00:13:11] I did the viral walk for my friend Bert Kreischer

[00:13:14] and his wife Leanne and Tom Segura.

[00:13:16] Two bears, 5K walk.

[00:13:18] Already did it this morning.

[00:13:19] Nice.

[00:13:20] Jelly Roll.

[00:13:21] I did it virtually in Nashville.

[00:13:22] I did it alone.

[00:13:23] Nothing happened except I saw two snakes.

[00:13:26] The snakes are out, people.

[00:13:27] The snakes are out.

[00:13:28] But Jelly Roll is doing it in LA.

[00:13:32] So good for him because he's losing weight

[00:13:34] and he's doing all kinds of walking.

[00:13:35] And I guess, I don't know, he knows Bert.

[00:13:37] Well, they all know everybody.

[00:13:38] Bunny's doing it too.

[00:13:40] Who?

[00:13:41] Bunny, his wife.

[00:13:42] Oh, Bunny's doing it?

[00:13:43] She's going to do a bunny hop.

[00:13:44] Do the whole thing.

[00:13:45] She should bunny hop.

[00:13:46] She should hop the whole way.

[00:13:47] That'd be fucking hilarious.

[00:13:52] Queen news.

[00:13:53] Gotta do it.

[00:13:54] Gotta start with Tanya.

[00:13:55] Gotta do it.

[00:13:56] Oh my God.

[00:13:58] So my friend Delaney got me a VIP pass,

[00:14:02] but it didn't really, I mean, that was great.

[00:14:04] But the action, so I go down there.

[00:14:07] I'd already saw on Instagram.

[00:14:09] She already walked in the bar, pulled up in a convertible,

[00:14:12] got out with her dog.

[00:14:13] She has a bulldog.

[00:14:14] So all these people were lining up and down Broadway

[00:14:16] and I'm like, why?

[00:14:18] What are they waiting for?

[00:14:19] She's already in the building.

[00:14:20] She's in the bar.

[00:14:22] Nudie's, which is one of my favorites.

[00:14:25] It gets overlooked because it doesn't have Garth's name

[00:14:28] or whatever.

[00:14:30] It's actually Garth's.

[00:14:31] And I don't think she would care if I said it.

[00:14:34] I'm friends with Hillary Williams,

[00:14:36] Hank Williams Jr.'s daughter,

[00:14:38] and I hadn't seen her in forever and I walked in the bar

[00:14:40] and there she was.

[00:14:41] But I also noticed behind her, I said,

[00:14:44] Hillary, is it ever weird that like right now

[00:14:46] you're sitting below your grandfather's suit

[00:14:48] that's in a glass case?

[00:14:50] Like this is big Hank Williams Sr., it's his clothes.

[00:14:53] And she's like, it's weird.

[00:14:55] It's always weird.

[00:14:56] But they're all so nice and they're all so normal

[00:14:59] and they have jobs and they don't, it's just,

[00:15:02] and I go, did your dad just open a bar two doors out?

[00:15:05] She's like, he did but it's hard to get him down here anymore.

[00:15:09] He just thinks it's too crowded.

[00:15:11] I said, I agree.

[00:15:12] He needs to come day drinking in the day.

[00:15:14] Come in the day.

[00:15:15] That's when any, as soon as I see somebody under the age of 40,

[00:15:18] I leave.

[00:15:19] I'm done with downtown.

[00:15:20] Three o'clock, four o'clock, I don't care, I'm out.

[00:15:23] It's so much, I don't know, in the day.

[00:15:25] But anyway, all these people are lined up on Broadway

[00:15:28] and I don't know what they're waiting for.

[00:15:30] Broadway's the main street.

[00:15:31] It's the main street in Nashville where all the honky-tonks,

[00:15:33] it's always the scene you see in, you know,

[00:15:35] the rest of downtown looks like a normal downtown

[00:15:37] just for the record.

[00:15:38] I think people think it's all like that.

[00:15:39] It's sort of like New Orleans.

[00:15:40] You have the Fritz Quarter

[00:15:41] and then the rest of it's just normal buildings.

[00:15:43] I wish the whole thing was like that but time took over

[00:15:47] and somebody goes, no, she's going to ride her horse in.

[00:15:50] And I'm like, nah, because she has horses.

[00:15:53] I know she does and she's into it.

[00:15:55] Well, sure as shit.

[00:15:57] There she was at the top of the street and I'm like, oh my God.

[00:16:01] Like I kind of know all this is happening

[00:16:04] but imagine you're just a couple in your 50s from Indiana

[00:16:08] and you go day drinking and you're kind of half shit-faced

[00:16:10] and then you walk out of the bar to go to the next bar

[00:16:12] and you're like, is that a horse?

[00:16:15] And then you're like, wait, is that Tanya Tucker on the horse?

[00:16:19] Yes, she rode it all the way down.

[00:16:21] It was epic, epic and the horse was magnificent.

[00:16:24] It was like a Clydesdale if it was all black.

[00:16:26] It had all the fur on its feet.

[00:16:28] I don't know what kind of horse it is but a very, very tall horse too.

[00:16:31] Like she's way too short for all that.

[00:16:33] Like you need people to throw you up like riders up

[00:16:35] and just throw Tanya and hope she doesn't break a hip.

[00:16:39] And then she passed the bar up.

[00:16:41] She forgot to stop at the bar where she has a bar

[00:16:44] and she brought the horse back around.

[00:16:46] She came in, went right up to the stage

[00:16:48] and if you go look on my Instagram, the video is a very small stage.

[00:16:51] It is a true honky-tonk.

[00:16:53] Message to Garth Brooks. Message to Garth.

[00:16:58] Garth has a lot more space to deal with, I get it.

[00:17:00] But nudies, that is how you're going to feel like a real old honky-tonk.

[00:17:04] And she got right up on stage, sang three songs, sounded great.

[00:17:07] Then this other man came up and he was like a country Tom Jones.

[00:17:11] I know he was older, I get it.

[00:17:13] But I'm like, I kind of have a crush on this guy.

[00:17:17] He sang so good. T...

[00:17:19] Graham Brown.

[00:17:20] T. Graham Brown.

[00:17:21] They sang that song, Don't Go Out With Him.

[00:17:25] It's an old country song but he was great.

[00:17:27] And then Tanya goes, I'm going to the bar.

[00:17:29] Presley, you do it.

[00:17:30] Well she has a daughter who looks exactly like her and sounds just as good.

[00:17:34] And I thought, damn, I wish I had a kid that could do my act

[00:17:38] and I'd go, I'm out of here for 25 minutes.

[00:17:40] You tell the jokes.

[00:17:41] And she went to the bar and bartended and passed out tequila shots.

[00:17:46] And then after all that, it was on and off for like an hour.

[00:17:50] The place was packed in a fun way.

[00:17:52] Oh, and I saw my flight attendant friend.

[00:17:55] The one who gave me the screwdrivers, Laura, and her friend, they walked by

[00:17:58] and I'm like, I know those people.

[00:18:01] But for a minute I couldn't...

[00:18:02] And then I'm like, oh my God, it's my Delta crew.

[00:18:05] That's a friend.

[00:18:06] Yeah, so I went and found them and they're like, we only came down here

[00:18:09] because you said this was happening.

[00:18:10] I go, oh, it's fucking happening.

[00:18:13] It's crazy town.

[00:18:14] It was so much fun.

[00:18:16] And then I went up to the...

[00:18:18] You could go upstairs with your little VIP deal.

[00:18:21] But I mean, I think everybody in the room had one.

[00:18:23] That's the great thing about Nashville.

[00:18:25] It's never really exclusive.

[00:18:26] All you got to do is call somebody

[00:18:28] and you'll know somebody who knows somebody and it's fine.

[00:18:31] Nobody gives a shit.

[00:18:32] And I walked up the steps and this younger man was like, I'm a big fan.

[00:18:36] I go, thanks, man.

[00:18:37] But there were all these tall people pushing me up the stairs.

[00:18:40] So when I got back up there, I go, hey, I didn't mean to blow you off.

[00:18:43] I just felt like the heat coming from the big people.

[00:18:47] I was being trampled going upstairs.

[00:18:51] Who gets trampled going upstairs?

[00:18:53] You get trampled going downstairs, not up.

[00:18:55] But I just felt like there were these moose, giant people behind me.

[00:18:59] And he goes, oh no, that's okay.

[00:19:00] Well, it turned out to be her son, Grayson.

[00:19:03] And he was so cute.

[00:19:04] And I go, you were adorable as a 12 year old in the reality show.

[00:19:09] He's like, oh, you did not watch that.

[00:19:10] I go, oh, I watched it when it happened.

[00:19:12] And then I watched it again on YouTube.

[00:19:14] And I think it's wonderful your mother let goats in the house.

[00:19:17] It's great. It's just great.

[00:19:19] And then he's like, come meet my mom.

[00:19:20] And I was like, I don't normally, I don't.

[00:19:24] Like my friend Dax has said, do you want to go to the meet and greet of heart?

[00:19:28] And I do, but I don't.

[00:19:29] And I'm just like, nah, I'll pay.

[00:19:32] I'm good. Let's just leave things like, yeah.

[00:19:34] But Tanya, I'm like, well, she's right there.

[00:19:37] So just, you know, drinking her tequila.

[00:19:39] Where's my blueberry vape pen as advertised?

[00:19:43] And I'm totally with her on all of those things.

[00:19:46] She looked great. She was very cool. Very nice.

[00:19:48] I said, I'm going to get out of here.

[00:19:49] This whole place a little fucking crazy.

[00:19:51] She's like, I know, right?

[00:19:53] This is fucking crazy.

[00:19:56] Like, yeah, but it's Tanya Tucker.

[00:19:58] But I don't think she realizes that, especially in Nashville.

[00:20:00] They all just go, hi, hi, hi.

[00:20:02] Cause they all know each other.

[00:20:03] They've all known each other since they're four.

[00:20:05] But anyway, the tequila was very good and I'm not a tequila person.

[00:20:10] But I have done a tequila tasting two in my life.

[00:20:13] And as you get better in tequila, more expensive, it tastes like scotch.

[00:20:17] To which I said to my friend, then why wouldn't I just drink scotch?

[00:20:20] Louis drank scotch for a good 15 years.

[00:20:22] That was all he drank and Glen left.

[00:20:24] And then I would drink some of his, but I only like a sip or two.

[00:20:26] I don't want a whole order of it.

[00:20:29] No. Her tequila is very thick.

[00:20:33] It's not something I would dump to make a margarita.

[00:20:36] I mean, you'd have a killer margarita batch, but again,

[00:20:38] not if 50 people are coming over.

[00:20:40] Nope, I'm not doing that.

[00:20:41] I'm not giving you the good shit.

[00:20:42] I'm going to put the bad shit in the margaritas

[00:20:44] and you won't even know the difference after you have to.

[00:20:48] But anyway, it was just a wonderful, wonderful afternoon.

[00:20:51] And then we toddled over me and Delaney to Eric Church's bar

[00:20:56] where Morgan threw the chair off.

[00:21:00] And I went to the rooftop.

[00:21:02] You can consider me your personal travel advisor for Nashville.

[00:21:05] If you termites ever want to come or have any questions.

[00:21:07] But anyway, so I got to the rooftop and I'm like, holy shit.

[00:21:11] That rooftop bar, there's a ton on Broadway,

[00:21:14] but that one, the wall was very high

[00:21:17] and it wasn't just built because of Morgan.

[00:21:19] That's how it was when he threw the chair.

[00:21:21] So not only did he throw a chair off, he had to hoist it.

[00:21:26] I mean, I couldn't see over the thing.

[00:21:27] I had to climb up on a rail, which is super not dangerous,

[00:21:32] but I wanted to see over.

[00:21:34] I'm surprised no security didn't grab me,

[00:21:35] but I wasn't even drunk like at all.

[00:21:38] I just, yeah, they probably didn't see me.

[00:21:40] Yeah.

[00:21:41] Nobody notices when you're five foot one.

[00:21:43] I can fucking do anything if you think about it.

[00:21:45] I should just start robbing banks and shit.

[00:21:47] I don't know.

[00:21:48] The small troll person came in and demanded money,

[00:21:53] but I was shocked at how high.

[00:21:55] And then they put up a sign that said,

[00:21:57] don't even think about it.

[00:21:58] You're not Morgan Walling, which is pretty funny.

[00:22:02] But Eric Church has a Carolina barbecue floor in there.

[00:22:05] I did not have time to stop.

[00:22:06] I want to go back.

[00:22:07] And then he has a mini Ryman in there as a performing space.

[00:22:11] My little friend Doris trying to get tickets to that.

[00:22:13] I don't really know Eric Church's music.

[00:22:14] I would have to go listen to it.

[00:22:15] He's really good.

[00:22:16] Is he?

[00:22:17] Yeah.

[00:22:18] Yeah, I don't know anything about him, but,

[00:22:20] and then I toddled on over to see the Morgan Waller concert

[00:22:24] at Nissan Stadium.

[00:22:25] Now anyone under 40 would tell you,

[00:22:28] it's the best show I've ever seen.

[00:22:30] Oh my God.

[00:22:32] Well, right, but you've only seen two.

[00:22:34] That's what I want to say to the people in their twenties.

[00:22:36] And most of them were filming themselves watching Morgan,

[00:22:40] which is fine.

[00:22:41] I know that's what the kids do.

[00:22:42] His voice sounded great.

[00:22:43] Everything's set.

[00:22:44] But then they have a video of him coming from the balls of the

[00:22:47] Bridgestone, I mean of the Nissan Stadium.

[00:22:49] And I'm sitting there and he,

[00:22:51] every city he goes to,

[00:22:52] he gets a little posse of guys that are famous or whatever.

[00:22:55] And they're his little posse that come out with him through

[00:22:58] this video.

[00:22:59] It's happening in real time.

[00:23:01] Well, I'm like, okay,

[00:23:03] that's DeAndre Hopkins, the football,

[00:23:05] the football player.

[00:23:06] And then I'm like, is that Theo Vaughn?

[00:23:08] It sure as shit.

[00:23:09] It was Theo Vaughn who's a friend of mine.

[00:23:11] But I'm like, look at you guys just bopping around like rock

[00:23:14] stars.

[00:23:15] Like I'm out here with a normal ticket,

[00:23:17] like a normal goddamn human being.

[00:23:19] And there's Theo.

[00:23:20] I mean, I don't want to do all that.

[00:23:22] That's the other thing.

[00:23:23] Like I don't care to do all of it,

[00:23:25] but it did make me laugh.

[00:23:27] I would love to see you rap in a tunnel with Morgan Wellington.

[00:23:29] Well, they're all bouncing around and like shoulder bumping

[00:23:32] and missing high fives.

[00:23:34] I'm like, are you guys already hammered?

[00:23:36] I don't think they were, but it seemed that way.

[00:23:38] I just, the concerts,

[00:23:39] this did not apply to Taylor.

[00:23:41] In stadiums, a lot can get lost.

[00:23:44] Elton John was great, but I'm old.

[00:23:46] Tay-Tay, I'm old, but she's not.

[00:23:49] Her production was to a T.

[00:23:51] Morgan's, I felt like some people showed up for rehearsal

[00:23:53] and some people didn't.

[00:23:55] A lot going on on the screens.

[00:23:57] The kids don't seem to mind.

[00:23:59] I prefer focus.

[00:24:00] If you go to Elton John,

[00:24:02] there's a big screen behind him, two here,

[00:24:04] maybe two on the sides if they feel like spending the money.

[00:24:06] But it's the same video most of the time.

[00:24:07] It brings focus in.

[00:24:09] This was boi-o-yo-yo-yoing,

[00:24:11] but then I thought, well, maybe the kids,

[00:24:13] they are boi-o-yo-yo-yoing.

[00:24:15] Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe.

[00:24:17] I think if they saw the same thing for more than four seconds,

[00:24:19] they'd be like, ah!

[00:24:21] And throw the phone down.

[00:24:23] So if you like his music, he played everything.

[00:24:25] So there you go.

[00:24:27] All right, moving on.

[00:24:29] I don't have any.

[00:24:31] Snoop was at the Kentucky Derby, I think with Martha Stewart.

[00:24:33] I saw a lot of Martha.

[00:24:35] I did not see a lot of Snoop.

[00:24:37] Oh, he was bartending.

[00:24:39] She was making the appetizers.

[00:24:41] Oh, of course she was.

[00:24:43] She looked great.

[00:24:45] Yeah.

[00:24:46] She's like 80-something.

[00:24:48] And when she had to go, rotters up.

[00:24:50] It's so inappropriate, it's hilarious.

[00:24:52] And you could tell she had no idea what she was doing.

[00:24:54] She's just saying whatever they told her to say.

[00:24:56] And, you know, welcome to the infield.

[00:24:58] And then Tay-Tay's going to Europe.

[00:25:00] If any of you termites want to get on down over to Europe,

[00:25:02] have at it.

[00:25:04] I will not be attending the Kentucky Derby.

[00:25:05] But I will not be attending any of that.

[00:25:07] She, I don't even know if she's.

[00:25:09] Yeah, I don't know if she's going to Ireland,

[00:25:11] but I'm not going anyway.

[00:25:13] She's not going where I'm going.

[00:25:15] I guarantee you that she's not going to do the Dingle Peninsula with me.

[00:25:17] No, she's not going to get in a rental car and risk her life

[00:25:19] going to the Dingle Peninsula.

[00:25:21] Anyway, update.

[00:25:26] Bill that would make first cousin marriage illegal

[00:25:28] in Tennessee passes, but not without a fight.

[00:25:32] I'm like, I'm not going to go to Ireland.

[00:25:34] I'm not going to go to Ireland.

[00:25:35] I'm not going to go to Ireland.

[00:25:40] I'm not going to go to Ireland.

[00:25:42] I'll be here for a while, but not without a fight.

[00:25:44] Oh, my God.

[00:25:47] The bill, as amended by

[00:25:49] Representative Gino, so

[00:25:51] and so Republican from Brentwood

[00:25:53] would prove that's this

[00:25:55] fancy part, by the way,

[00:25:57] it would prohibit first cousin

[00:25:59] marriage unless parties to the marriage

[00:26:01] received counseling from a genetic counselor

[00:26:03] licensed by a board of medical

[00:26:05] examiners.

[00:26:06] How many people have a cousin they think is

[00:26:08] a good idea?

[00:26:10] Well, yeah, I don't know.

[00:26:12] But there were people

[00:26:17] arguing for it,

[00:26:20] saying that why not?

[00:26:26] So he's saying, what if

[00:26:28] you were gay and wanted to marry

[00:26:30] for? Well, that's not what they're

[00:26:31] talking about.

[00:26:33] You know, it's confusing

[00:26:35] genetically.

[00:26:40] It's about having kids.

[00:26:42] It's about having kids.

[00:26:44] And I'm like, you know, I

[00:26:46] think we went over this like a

[00:26:48] hundred years ago.

[00:26:49] I thought some of these issues I

[00:26:50] thought we had already settled.

[00:26:52] I'm like, could we just not have

[00:26:54] sex with your first cousin,

[00:26:55] please?

[00:26:56] Could you not do that?

[00:26:58] Yeah.

[00:26:59] I mean, in certain situations, it

[00:27:01] probably wouldn't matter.

[00:27:04] This guy, this guy was really mad.

[00:27:07] I'm going to move to table that

[00:27:08] amendment that would allow first

[00:27:10] cousins to marry.

[00:27:11] I think we got to go to Governor

[00:27:12] Bill Lee's desk to be signed.

[00:27:14] Governor Bill Lee.

[00:27:17] I don't know about him.

[00:27:20] He's too.

[00:27:22] Well, here's my complaint about

[00:27:24] any politician left or right.

[00:27:26] If you're going to wear a flannel

[00:27:27] shirt, I need to believe you

[00:27:29] actually wear that.

[00:27:30] I don't.

[00:27:32] He's too square,

[00:27:34] too polished, too.

[00:27:36] And then that down homie accent

[00:27:37] comes out like just P.K.

[00:27:39] Ivy from Alabama.

[00:27:40] If you've seen my act, you know

[00:27:41] my feelings about K.

[00:27:42] Just be K and go, I don't give

[00:27:44] a shit how y'all feel.

[00:27:46] But where your little suit, little

[00:27:47] suit.

[00:27:48] You know, she doesn't come out in

[00:27:49] her Walmart outfit.

[00:27:51] She comes out a little suit.

[00:27:52] I'm a governor.

[00:27:53] I'm the governor of Alabama.

[00:27:55] I'm obsessed with K.

[00:27:57] Update.

[00:28:00] The gold watch, I told you guys,

[00:28:02] I think I told you.

[00:28:03] I may have forgotten.

[00:28:05] So the world's richest passenger

[00:28:06] aboard the Titanic,

[00:28:08] John Jacob Astor.

[00:28:10] You've seen the movies and all

[00:28:11] that. He's featured prominently

[00:28:12] in those.

[00:28:13] They found his pocket watch.

[00:28:15] Well, a long time ago, but they

[00:28:16] put it up for auction.

[00:28:18] A gold watch worn by John Jacob

[00:28:19] Astor, a member of the Astor

[00:28:20] family and the richest man.

[00:28:22] It sold for one point four

[00:28:24] eight million dollars.

[00:28:28] Sold for 10 times its expected

[00:28:31] auction price.

[00:28:32] Wow.

[00:28:33] Yeah.

[00:28:34] It's more Titanic memorabilia.

[00:28:36] And I don't know if it works.

[00:28:37] Let's see.

[00:28:39] Oh, they also

[00:28:42] they auctioned off the

[00:28:44] Valise that held the violin

[00:28:46] famously played by the band

[00:28:47] leaders. The ship sank

[00:28:49] and a pocket pocketbook that

[00:28:51] documents the Titanic scheduled

[00:28:53] voyages.

[00:28:54] The Valise sold

[00:28:56] for three hundred sixty thousand

[00:28:57] dollars and the violin itself sold

[00:28:59] for nearly one point seven million

[00:29:00] at the time.

[00:29:02] Yeah, I don't know if the watch

[00:29:03] works.

[00:29:05] They don't say it's a gold pocket

[00:29:06] watch.

[00:29:09] He was one of the 1500

[00:29:11] people who died on the Titanic.

[00:29:12] His pregnant wife, Madeline,

[00:29:14] survived.

[00:29:15] Maybe he gave it to her.

[00:29:17] Huh.

[00:29:18] It doesn't say.

[00:29:19] After the recovery of his body,

[00:29:20] those possessions went to his son

[00:29:22] Vincent Astor, who completely

[00:29:23] restored the watch so that it

[00:29:24] worked. There's our answer.

[00:29:26] Read the whole story, Kathleen.

[00:29:27] Don't be like you're in school and

[00:29:28] just say, whatever.

[00:29:30] Who gives a shit?

[00:29:32] In 1935, Vincent gave the watch

[00:29:34] as a christening gift to the

[00:29:35] infant son of William

[00:29:37] Dobbin, Jacob Astor's

[00:29:39] executive secretary.

[00:29:41] Hmm.

[00:29:43] That family kept it until the

[00:29:44] 1990s when it went up for auction.

[00:29:47] So there you go.

[00:29:48] It's been displayed in several

[00:29:49] museums.

[00:29:51] Yeah. Well, there you go.

[00:29:53] Would you pay for that?

[00:29:54] That's something I wouldn't buy.

[00:29:56] But out of all the shit they

[00:29:57] auction off.

[00:29:59] Do you want Michael Jordan's

[00:30:00] stinky shoes or do you want this?

[00:30:02] I'll take that.

[00:30:04] Stink shoe.

[00:30:05] He's got stink shoe.

[00:30:06] I don't want you basketball shoes

[00:30:07] that were worn.

[00:30:08] No.

[00:30:10] Update.

[00:30:14] Did you guys go watch

[00:30:17] Baby Reindeer?

[00:30:18] Yes. Like I said,

[00:30:20] terrifying, isn't it?

[00:30:22] I'm going to go back to people

[00:30:23] don't take stalking seriously

[00:30:25] because when it when it goes too

[00:30:26] far, it's too late.

[00:30:28] You know, then they go, oh, look,

[00:30:30] this little actress, the actor is

[00:30:31] dead. You know, the one that got

[00:30:32] stabbed in her doorway.

[00:30:34] Blah, blah, blah.

[00:30:35] Well, this is crazy.

[00:30:37] And then you think, I don't know,

[00:30:38] maybe.

[00:30:39] But I don't have a problem

[00:30:40] exposing the stalker because she's

[00:30:42] going to get out.

[00:30:43] People need to know.

[00:30:45] And I don't even think she should

[00:30:46] have went to prison.

[00:30:47] I think she should have gone to a

[00:30:48] mental institution.

[00:30:50] Yes. And stay for quite some time

[00:30:51] until licensed professionals

[00:30:53] can say she's over it.

[00:30:55] Because her stalking wasn't just

[00:30:56] stalking. It could get crazy

[00:30:58] mean at times.

[00:30:59] Crazy mean.

[00:31:01] Well, listen to this.

[00:31:02] Something about the woman on our

[00:31:03] television screen made if

[00:31:05] you if you didn't watch it, you

[00:31:06] know, if you didn't watch it, fast

[00:31:07] forward through this.

[00:31:08] But if you did remember in Baby

[00:31:09] Reindeer, that lady was a lawyer.

[00:31:12] And that was all 100 percent

[00:31:14] true. Like she went through law

[00:31:15] school, upper middle class family,

[00:31:16] middle, upper middle class,

[00:31:17] whatever.

[00:31:20] Something on television screen made

[00:31:22] Laura Ray feel uneasy.

[00:31:24] The lawyer and widow of labor

[00:31:26] MP was relaxing at home,

[00:31:27] captivated by the opening minutes

[00:31:29] of the Netflix sensation Baby

[00:31:30] Reindeer, particularly by the

[00:31:32] character who was stalking a

[00:31:34] struggling comedian.

[00:31:37] What was it about Martha that

[00:31:38] seemed familiar?

[00:31:39] The raucous, maybe the raucous

[00:31:40] laugh that seemed just a big

[00:31:41] too bit bit bit too long

[00:31:44] or the way she clutched her

[00:31:45] handbag to the size to the side

[00:31:47] when time when timidly

[00:31:49] entering a pub.

[00:31:50] Whatever it was about this curly

[00:31:52] haired Scott, she's Scottish.

[00:31:54] She reminded Laura of something

[00:31:55] for from her past.

[00:31:56] Then the realization came like an

[00:31:58] electric jolt and Laura slumped

[00:32:00] back on her sofa, open mouth

[00:32:02] for she too knew Martha

[00:32:04] are the real rather the real

[00:32:06] Martha, who more

[00:32:08] than a quarter of a century early

[00:32:09] ended up up

[00:32:11] ended Laura's happy life with

[00:32:13] a relentless five year harassment

[00:32:15] campaign campaign.

[00:32:16] It was so fierce that at one stage

[00:32:17] Laura was forced to

[00:32:19] issue her staff at her Glasgow

[00:32:21] law firm with panic alarms.

[00:32:24] Wow.

[00:32:26] In one scene from

[00:32:28] the drama, Martha flips from

[00:32:29] exuberance to screaming rage

[00:32:31] in an instant that put it beyond

[00:32:33] doubt. I've seen her do it, says

[00:32:34] Laura baby reindeer, which has

[00:32:36] been watched by 13 million viewers

[00:32:37] in just two weeks, topping

[00:32:39] Netflix.

[00:32:40] But one day Martha walks into the

[00:32:42] pub. He takes pity, gives her tea.

[00:32:43] We know all that.

[00:32:44] If you saw it, she

[00:32:46] and then it's all about him

[00:32:47] getting all the emails

[00:32:49] and the series

[00:32:51] hints at her previous history

[00:32:53] of stalking

[00:32:55] the character, the struggling

[00:32:57] comedian seen Googling and finding

[00:32:58] newspaper articles.

[00:33:00] Well, that was all true.

[00:33:01] But for Laura, the lawyer, they

[00:33:03] call him a barrister, referred to

[00:33:04] in fake headlines, a shocking

[00:33:05] recognition of the woman who

[00:33:07] terrorized her and her family and

[00:33:08] her severely disabled son.

[00:33:10] Frankly was Frank was almost

[00:33:11] instant.

[00:33:12] She said they didn't change

[00:33:13] enough.

[00:33:15] It was way too similar.

[00:33:19] She said, well, but while Martha

[00:33:21] may be keen to Martha's real mad

[00:33:23] about it in jail now because she

[00:33:24] said she'd been bullied

[00:33:27] in jail, she made a death threat

[00:33:28] against her husband.

[00:33:29] The final straw.

[00:33:30] She also upended the whole law

[00:33:31] office like throwing things.

[00:33:33] I can't even imagine throwing

[00:33:34] something in an office like and

[00:33:35] then thinking you're not going to

[00:33:36] get fired.

[00:33:37] This is what I'm saying.

[00:33:38] You're not connected to reality.

[00:33:40] Right.

[00:33:43] The final straw came in 2002 when

[00:33:44] the woman falsely accused the

[00:33:45] couple of assaulting Frankie,

[00:33:47] then years for years, four years

[00:33:48] old, who was born with a rare

[00:33:50] chromosomal disorder.

[00:33:52] I know Martha by her real name,

[00:33:53] but my jaw dropped watching the

[00:33:55] series.

[00:33:56] She called social services.

[00:33:58] Yeah.

[00:33:59] And they came.

[00:34:00] Thankfully, they believed this

[00:34:01] lawyer lady, Laura and her

[00:34:03] husband.

[00:34:04] And they're like, no, she

[00:34:06] didn't. But to accuse somebody

[00:34:07] that if let's say social services

[00:34:09] didn't believe you'd lose your

[00:34:10] kid.

[00:34:11] Right.

[00:34:12] That's crazy.

[00:34:14] She said she felt sorry for it,

[00:34:15] too.

[00:34:16] That's why she hired everybody.

[00:34:17] That's why she hired her.

[00:34:19] Once she started with us at the

[00:34:20] law firm, she was rude to me.

[00:34:22] She said, well, I'm not going to

[00:34:23] fire you.

[00:34:24] Once she started with us at the

[00:34:25] law firm, she was rude to

[00:34:26] everyone. Once she threw

[00:34:28] a book across the room and

[00:34:30] hit a member of staff on the

[00:34:31] head.

[00:34:32] One day she manned a phone line

[00:34:34] and we discovered she was

[00:34:35] recommending rival solicitors.

[00:34:38] I mean, this shit.

[00:34:39] Could you imagine going, this

[00:34:41] law firm's terrible.

[00:34:42] You should call.

[00:34:43] You should call. They haven't

[00:34:44] won a case in 50 years.

[00:34:45] I mean, I don't even know how

[00:34:46] the lights are on.

[00:34:47] I don't even understand.

[00:34:48] Like, what do you do?

[00:34:50] She also shouted at one of the

[00:34:51] secretaries, Karen, and

[00:34:52] she demanded she drop everything

[00:34:53] else she was doing and instead

[00:34:55] do something for her.

[00:34:56] She began threatening and

[00:34:57] screaming like a baby reindeer

[00:34:59] when she goes from quite

[00:35:00] pleasant to shouting, don't

[00:35:01] speak to me like that.

[00:35:03] Whoa.

[00:35:04] She did the same in my office

[00:35:05] and I told her we're a

[00:35:06] business.

[00:35:07] I can't have that kind of

[00:35:08] behavior.

[00:35:09] I fired her after a week.

[00:35:10] She was furious and threatened

[00:35:11] that she'd do this, that and

[00:35:12] the other to me.

[00:35:13] Then she ran from my room

[00:35:15] screaming saying she was not

[00:35:16] going to leave and she was

[00:35:17] calling the law society.

[00:35:18] She was saying everyone in the

[00:35:19] legal world disliked her.

[00:35:20] She was saying everyone in the

[00:35:21] legal world disliked me and that

[00:35:22] my staff were useless.

[00:35:24] Then she started shouting,

[00:35:26] Jimmy Ray will rule the day.

[00:35:28] That's her husband.

[00:35:30] The girls in the office were

[00:35:31] shaking and upset.

[00:35:33] They thought she was going to

[00:35:34] attack everybody.

[00:35:35] Eventually, she was threatened

[00:35:36] out but was later spotted

[00:35:38] circling the office in her car.

[00:35:42] I just like I mean,

[00:35:45] she left a shit ton of messages

[00:35:47] on her answering machine.

[00:35:51] She kept turning up to

[00:35:52] lectures this lady was doing

[00:35:55] and she'd be given a lecture and

[00:35:56] then she'd just see her because

[00:35:58] she'd say I have a question.

[00:36:00] It was fucking her.

[00:36:02] Oh my God.

[00:36:06] They finally got her out of

[00:36:07] there but I guess that's when

[00:36:08] maybe she moved on to the

[00:36:09] bartender.

[00:36:12] She claimed that she told social

[00:36:13] services that we hit our son and

[00:36:15] I was forced to explain the

[00:36:16] background.

[00:36:17] Thankfully, they believed me

[00:36:18] but it was just dreadful and I

[00:36:19] was absolutely furious.

[00:36:21] I mean, I don't I just think

[00:36:23] it's a lot more dangerous.

[00:36:25] Yes.

[00:36:26] Than the law.

[00:36:27] And then if it's online,

[00:36:29] the cops don't have time for that.

[00:36:31] And then like the guy takes his

[00:36:32] phone and says look she's email me

[00:36:33] 80 times today.

[00:36:35] Well, I the poor cop is like

[00:36:38] dude did she threaten you in any

[00:36:40] of these emails?

[00:36:41] No.

[00:36:42] She's like I like chocolate.

[00:36:43] The next one is rabbits rabbits

[00:36:45] like they're crazy but they're not

[00:36:47] threatening.

[00:36:48] Right.

[00:36:49] And then if you're the cop what

[00:36:50] are you supposed to I can't help

[00:36:52] it if you had an affair or you

[00:36:54] you did something to start

[00:36:56] this.

[00:36:57] Right.

[00:36:58] But we can't end it.

[00:37:00] It's just there's just no loss and

[00:37:01] they don't have time for.

[00:37:02] She likes you.

[00:37:05] Hey baby reindeer.

[00:37:09] Moving on.

[00:37:10] Holy shit they found it.

[00:37:12] This is crazy.

[00:37:14] I'm so glad I wasn't a caveman.

[00:37:16] A caveman.

[00:37:18] Because the animals are so large

[00:37:20] and I'm nearsighted.

[00:37:21] I could have never left a cave.

[00:37:22] I'd just be walking into giant

[00:37:24] dinosaurs and going oh fuck like

[00:37:27] yeah being trampled again.

[00:37:29] Fossil vertebrae on earth in a mine

[00:37:31] in western India are the remains of

[00:37:32] one of the largest snakes that

[00:37:34] ever lived.

[00:37:35] The monster estimated

[00:37:37] up to 15 meters

[00:37:39] in length.

[00:37:40] That's longer than a T-Rex.

[00:37:42] Oh my God.

[00:37:44] They've recovered seven twenty

[00:37:45] seven vertebrae from the snake

[00:37:46] including a few

[00:37:48] still in the same position they

[00:37:49] would have been the rat child was

[00:37:50] alive.

[00:37:51] Oh my God.

[00:37:52] They said the snake named Vesca

[00:37:54] Indicus would have looked like

[00:37:56] a large python

[00:37:58] and would not have been venomous.

[00:38:00] Well it doesn't need venom.

[00:38:02] I would have seen it and had a heart

[00:38:03] attack and then it could eat me.

[00:38:05] Like I'm not going to live to the

[00:38:06] point.

[00:38:07] And what if people always act like

[00:38:08] oh they're not venomous so it

[00:38:09] doesn't matter.

[00:38:10] A snake can still bite you.

[00:38:12] Right.

[00:38:13] I mean any snake can bite you like

[00:38:14] and I'm sure.

[00:38:16] Oh my God.

[00:38:17] It was a slow moving predator

[00:38:19] that would subdue its prey through

[00:38:21] constriction like anacondas and

[00:38:22] pythons.

[00:38:23] He lived in a marshy swamp at the

[00:38:24] coast at a time when global

[00:38:26] temperatures were higher than

[00:38:27] today.

[00:38:29] How long is 15 meters.

[00:38:31] Come on Canada.

[00:38:32] How long is 15 meters.

[00:38:34] Feet.

[00:38:36] Yeah.

[00:38:37] I didn't pay attention when we had

[00:38:38] metric class.

[00:38:39] For like an hour like 50 50 50.

[00:38:43] Holy shit.

[00:38:45] You imagine.

[00:38:48] Holy shit they found Michigan

[00:38:50] researchers discover eerie 1909

[00:38:54] shipwreck at the bottom of Lake

[00:38:56] Superior.

[00:38:58] The Great Lakes scare me.

[00:39:00] What.

[00:39:01] Yeah they do.

[00:39:02] They scare me because I can't see

[00:39:04] the other side.

[00:39:05] OK.

[00:39:06] And if I'm in a lake I expect to

[00:39:07] see land wherever I'm at.

[00:39:09] If I'm in the ocean I expect to

[00:39:11] not see land wherever I'm at.

[00:39:13] So the lakes to me are more like

[00:39:15] the ocean and sometimes in

[00:39:17] downtown Chicago Lake Michigan

[00:39:19] which by the way my sister and

[00:39:20] her friends went they were like

[00:39:21] 25 and she's like oh my God

[00:39:25] did you know there's a lake here.

[00:39:27] I go yeah I've heard of that.

[00:39:29] Yeah.

[00:39:30] I.

[00:39:31] Yep.

[00:39:32] Kate I have which you went to

[00:39:33] private school and you're done

[00:39:35] now and you didn't pick that one

[00:39:37] up.

[00:39:38] Which one of you which one of you

[00:39:39] child geniuses saw that like

[00:39:44] you and your friends.

[00:39:46] I like God you guys.

[00:39:48] That's a lake out there.

[00:39:51] Maybe they were younger.

[00:39:52] I don't know but it was shocking.

[00:39:54] Anyway so I feel like there's all

[00:39:57] these major shipwrecks because

[00:39:58] those I feel like Lake Superior

[00:40:02] like they can turn in a minute

[00:40:04] and then they turn into an ocean.

[00:40:06] Yes.

[00:40:07] It's flat.

[00:40:08] There's no mountains to block it

[00:40:10] in the wind can just stir up

[00:40:13] crazy shit.

[00:40:14] I would have been terrified back

[00:40:15] in the day terrified now but more

[00:40:17] terrified then because they didn't

[00:40:19] have the equipment or the weather

[00:40:21] or any of that which any historians

[00:40:24] in Michigan recently announced a

[00:40:25] shipwreck dating back to more than

[00:40:26] a century has been discovered at

[00:40:27] the bottom of Lake Superior the

[00:40:29] Adele shores and they have a

[00:40:30] picture of Adele Adela Adela a

[00:40:33] wooden steamship built in 1894 was

[00:40:36] carrying salt good job to Duluth

[00:40:39] Minnesota when it suddenly

[00:40:40] mysteriously disappeared on May

[00:40:42] 1st 1909 none of the ship's 14

[00:40:44] sailors were ever heard from again

[00:40:46] oh that's sad the vessel's name

[00:40:48] came up came from the company that

[00:40:50] built it which was shores lumber

[00:40:51] company and the owner's daughter

[00:40:53] who was named Adela the ship was

[00:40:56] spotted in the summer of 2021

[00:40:58] thanks to GLSH's side scan sonar

[00:41:02] system researchers found the

[00:41:04] remains of the ship's boiler its

[00:41:06] cargo haul its port bow and more

[00:41:08] on the bottom although the debris

[00:41:10] was found there was no signs of

[00:41:11] the sailors remains well yeah I

[00:41:13] wouldn't think at this point um

[00:41:16] no way we're a hundred years past

[00:41:18] that um the weather was often a

[00:41:21] prime factor back then lakes

[00:41:23] create their own microclimates and

[00:41:24] conditions can change extremely

[00:41:26] quickly that's why I would be

[00:41:27] afraid weather reporting was not

[00:41:28] as accurate as today it's still

[00:41:30] not that good no it's supposed to

[00:41:32] be thunderstorming here right now

[00:41:34] and it's just not um yeah reduced

[00:41:38] visibility caused problems to the

[00:41:40] vessel collisions were not uncommon

[00:41:42] they were formed there were far

[00:41:43] more ships operating to way more

[00:41:45] back then um the Adela shore sank

[00:41:48] two times before the fatal

[00:41:49] incident it already sank twice wow

[00:41:53] the ice caused a ship to sink

[00:41:55] twice it docks oh that's how they

[00:41:57] retrieved it but a storm most

[00:41:58] likely caused the final shipwreck

[00:42:00] um they would have been sailing

[00:42:01] blind through low visibility

[00:42:03] situation sometimes leading to

[00:42:04] collision there are more than

[00:42:06] six thousand to ten thousand

[00:42:08] shipwrecks in the Great Lakes many

[00:42:09] have been discovered not been

[00:42:11] discovered yet but officials have

[00:42:12] found 12 in the past three years

[00:42:14] that's kind of cool yeah like maybe

[00:42:16] we can find them all now right um

[00:42:18] people will often ask us why we

[00:42:20] wait so long to release shipwrecks

[00:42:22] that we find every one of these

[00:42:24] stories is important and it

[00:42:25] deserves to be told with the

[00:42:26] utmost honor and respect that's nice

[00:42:29] and then they try to contact the

[00:42:31] people um that their relatives

[00:42:34] were on it if they have the um

[00:42:36] manifest who went yeah last holy

[00:42:39] shit they found it

[00:42:41] breathtaking new paintings found

[00:42:42] in Pompeii every day is another

[00:42:45] just Pompeii is just revealing

[00:42:48] itself and these people in this

[00:42:50] painting have a dog with them but

[00:42:53] it also looks like it could be a

[00:42:55] tiger maybe they had a pet tiger

[00:42:58] or there was a tiger dog a tog if

[00:43:00] you will maybe there was a cross

[00:43:02] breed they found the frescoes are

[00:43:04] the most finest to be found in the

[00:43:05] ruins of the ancient site um I

[00:43:08] wonder if you can go see them it's

[00:43:10] in the room it's in a it's a mosaic

[00:43:12] floor to also they found the floor

[00:43:15] the third a third of the lost city

[00:43:17] still has to be cleared of volcanic

[00:43:19] debris a third they've only gotten

[00:43:22] to two thirds yeah the current dig

[00:43:26] the biggest in this generation is

[00:43:27] underlying Pompeii's position as the

[00:43:29] world's premier window on the people

[00:43:31] and the culture of the Roman Empire

[00:43:32] um oh wow yeah this has got a private

[00:43:39] residence a garden or shrine a stable

[00:43:41] skeletons millstones an atrium this is

[00:43:44] a rich person holy Christ I mean to

[00:43:47] have all that um I'm seeing if that's

[00:43:51] a tiger or a dog whatever um those

[00:43:56] people put a pet in their fresco yeah

[00:43:59] and I'll put the pictures up you guys

[00:44:01] and go look but it is worth it is worth

[00:44:04] the look moving on to news I want to go

[00:44:08] to Pompeii really bad news where my

[00:44:11] Harry Potter people where you at my

[00:44:14] bartender friend Brandi in Las Vegas

[00:44:17] um she's she's it she loves a hair

[00:44:21] yeah my sister-in-law Ellie loves

[00:44:23] Harry Potter um Aaron Weber comedian

[00:44:27] Aaron Weber loves Harry Potter because

[00:44:29] when we did Orlando the hard rock he was

[00:44:32] like hey do you want to go to the

[00:44:33] Harry Potter thing with me I'm like

[00:44:35] Harry Potter land I'm like love you

[00:44:39] Aaron would love to spend the afternoon

[00:44:41] with you but I I liked I took my

[00:44:43] nephews to the movie fine yeah I liked it

[00:44:48] and then though I used to do a joke of

[00:44:50] my act it was true though they were like

[00:44:51] 10 or whatever and they're like we like

[00:44:53] the books a whole lot better I go well

[00:44:54] that's what you get for reading I didn't

[00:44:56] read the book and I thought the movie

[00:44:57] was perfectly acceptable highly

[00:44:59] entertaining I wish I had that broom to

[00:45:01] fry around on in the ball and play that

[00:45:03] game anyway this is kind of crazy the

[00:45:07] original Harry Potter cover drawing is

[00:45:09] set to smash auction records it's

[00:45:12] expected it's a watercolor here's what's

[00:45:15] weird to me it looks like a cartoon and

[00:45:18] the whole idea of Harry Potter is that

[00:45:20] it's real it's not animated it's it's

[00:45:23] not fantasy I'm supposed to believe it's

[00:45:25] real so I don't think they ended up

[00:45:27] using this one they did not but I would

[00:45:30] have been hard no it also looks like the

[00:45:33] where's Waldo person I and it says a

[00:45:36] picture of the train they think it's

[00:45:38] gonna go for $600,000 I say I'm

[00:45:41] predicting termites well over a million I

[00:45:44] think they're underestimating how much

[00:45:46] Harry Potter people like Harry Potter

[00:45:48] shit it's a thing it's a big thing the

[00:45:51] priciest ever Harry Potter item ever to

[00:45:54] come to auction the original watercolor

[00:45:56] drawing for the first installment of

[00:45:58] blockbuster series goes on sale at

[00:46:00] Sotheby's beginning at six beginning

[00:46:02] bearing a high estimate of $6,000 the

[00:46:05] image served as a cover for a book that

[00:46:07] would go to sell on sell in excess of 120

[00:46:09] million copies placing in one of the

[00:46:11] world's best-selling books can be

[00:46:12] translated into h5 languages blah blah

[00:46:14] blah the same work sold at Sotheby's

[00:46:17] fetching $101 that was back before this

[00:46:22] how many of them are there um they're

[00:46:26] saying this is the original one um what's

[00:46:29] her face is happy about it the artist no

[00:46:32] not her the artist is happy yeah I I'm

[00:46:40] just saying termite you heard her here

[00:46:41] first it's gonna go for more than

[00:46:43] $600,000 that's my prediction because I

[00:46:46] don't think they are estimating how much

[00:46:50] people are into it yeah this is my

[00:46:55] favorite story of the week okay I just

[00:46:58] think it's amazing I've told you about

[00:47:00] the gangs of monkeys in Thailand if you

[00:47:02] listen to this podcast you are up to

[00:47:04] speed on monkey games monkey game

[00:47:07] monkey game gangs gangs well get a load

[00:47:11] of this it's it goes back I know I've

[00:47:13] said it on this podcast but Lewis and I

[00:47:18] one night watched oh shit now I'm not

[00:47:21] gonna be thinking of the name of the

[00:47:22] monkey shines if you've never seen that

[00:47:24] movie do yourself a favor and it's gonna

[00:47:28] freak you out how smart monkeys are and

[00:47:30] the monkey is helping this guy who

[00:47:31] becomes a quadriplegic and then the

[00:47:33] monkey turns bad then the monkey takes

[00:47:36] over his life and monkey is injecting

[00:47:39] him with drugs I'm serious and then

[00:47:41] halfway through the movie the man is

[00:47:43] playing the quadriplegic Lou goes oh

[00:47:45] yeah I know him we went to theater

[00:47:47] school I'm like you fuck you know you

[00:47:48] know that guy in the TV and you just

[00:47:51] told me this now we're 45 minutes in

[00:47:53] there he's like yeah he's a really nice

[00:47:55] guy I go don't blow it now I already

[00:47:56] believe he's a quadriplegic don't tell

[00:47:58] me that you know he's running around

[00:48:00] playing basketball you're gonna ruin

[00:48:01] the movie for me Lou but anyway you if

[00:48:03] you watch monkey shines you will see

[00:48:05] what can happen it's not a documentary

[00:48:08] I mean it's made up but I guess this is

[00:48:09] how this is how I know it's possible

[00:48:11] fearless monkey gang tear down anti

[00:48:15] monkey posters in terrifying town

[00:48:18] uprising what yep they put up posters of

[00:48:22] them saying they're bad and they

[00:48:24] fucking tore him down this is why I

[00:48:28] will never have a pet monkey because

[00:48:30] even if it looks at you this is the main

[00:48:32] reason they're smarter than us and

[00:48:34] they're smarter than you think and then

[00:48:35] it has a look in its eye like it's

[00:48:36] really sweet and BAM it's gonna inject

[00:48:38] you with heroin or something a bold of a

[00:48:41] group of bold monkeys have started

[00:48:44] tearing down a staggering 30 posters

[00:48:48] protesting ape tourism in the tourist

[00:48:51] hotspot of Lop Buri Thailand in a

[00:48:54] bizarre act of defiance if you shouldn't

[00:49:02] be if you think you shouldn't be afraid

[00:49:04] of them these guys you're wrong a gang

[00:49:07] of monkeys have taken action after

[00:49:08] posters appeared protesting their

[00:49:10] presence they didn't like it fuck you

[00:49:13] it's our house I live in Thailand don't

[00:49:17] you put up a poster saying I don't live

[00:49:18] here Lop Buri Thailand is known for its

[00:49:22] rich history but it has another draw for

[00:49:24] visitors in this city monkeys freely

[00:49:26] roam the streets rubbing shoulders with

[00:49:28] the town's human inhabitants but these

[00:49:30] gangs they ganged up say the bloods in

[00:49:32] the crypts we'll call them that right and

[00:49:34] then the fighting got so crazy that the

[00:49:36] locals couldn't even go outside they

[00:49:37] were terrified right um there is no

[00:49:40] peaceful coexistence however with

[00:49:42] primate attacks increasingly common

[00:49:44] tensions between man and monkey is an

[00:49:46] all-time high and what and some want to

[00:49:48] see the primates gone for good that's

[00:49:51] when the movie starts yep one group even

[00:49:56] put up signs protesting against the

[00:49:58] monkeys living there on April 21st but

[00:50:01] an apparent counter protest was launched

[00:50:03] at about 6 p.m. the next day when the

[00:50:05] primate population would typically turn

[00:50:08] in for the night they're supposed to be

[00:50:09] going to their night night but however

[00:50:12] on this evening an army of animals took

[00:50:15] to the streets and bit by bit tore down

[00:50:18] and destroyed more than 30 of the

[00:50:19] posters local outlet such and such some

[00:50:27] newspaper I can't pronounce it reported

[00:50:29] fed up locals put up signs showing their

[00:50:31] dissatisfaction with the Thai Department

[00:50:33] of National Parks and monkey tourism the

[00:50:35] banners called called on officials to

[00:50:37] catch the monkeys and release them back

[00:50:39] into the wild other put questions other

[00:50:42] posters question whether low period

[00:50:44] obviously a little brewery drew in

[00:50:46] tourists to experience the city's history

[00:50:48] or just to look at the monkeys the city

[00:50:51] relies on monkey tourism is a

[00:50:52] significant source of income and even

[00:50:55] host an annual monkey buffet festival on

[00:50:58] the last Sunday in November it's called

[00:51:00] mixed messages yeah Thailand what no the

[00:51:05] monkeys get fed they have a giant buffet

[00:51:07] of fruits everything they ever want we've

[00:51:09] discussed this on this podcast battles

[00:51:11] the monkey buffet yes this sees a bank

[00:51:15] they have a bank with a fruit laid out

[00:51:17] among the ruins of proper angst I'm not

[00:51:20] temple to show the appreciation for the

[00:51:22] monkeys well which is it folks right

[00:51:26] don't confuse them they immediately go

[00:51:29] to anger however the last few years the

[00:51:32] monkeys have going rambunctious two years

[00:51:34] ago this is what we talked about a

[00:51:36] primate turf war brought lot buried to a

[00:51:39] sand still as monkeys defended on the

[00:51:41] city center in search of food the hungry

[00:51:43] primates had gone with food and were used

[00:51:45] as they were used as kovat restrictions

[00:51:48] stop tourists from visiting so then the

[00:51:50] tourists aren't feeding them then they're

[00:51:52] mad therefore so a joint task force

[00:51:55] remember they removed them and they got

[00:51:59] put in a facility well I think Thailand

[00:52:05] you guys need to decide what you're doing

[00:52:06] with your monkeys and I would say keep

[00:52:09] them tourists are coming yeah I love that

[00:52:13] they toured on the posters fuck you I'm

[00:52:15] not welcome but that means they looked at

[00:52:18] the poster and understood that it was bad

[00:52:21] yeah I don't know if they understood what

[00:52:23] it meant but they understood this isn't a

[00:52:25] cute picture of me you took a selfie like

[00:52:28] dingy when they're behind the idiot from

[00:52:30] America go come here little monkey and

[00:52:32] that thing's just gonna go and you want

[00:52:33] him in here I wouldn't get near him

[00:52:35] crazy um Burger King we're moving on

[00:52:41] have you guys been in any of the fast

[00:52:43] foods that are automated now where

[00:52:45] there's no people I've been in McDonald's

[00:52:48] at Kentucky yeah it didn't work out

[00:52:50] right but I don't know if it's because

[00:52:52] they didn't have enough employees or

[00:52:55] because it's Kentucky or because maybe

[00:52:58] it's user error maybe I didn't do it

[00:52:59] right but I have been into others to do

[00:53:02] it and Banff Canada met like four years

[00:53:05] ago they had a McDonald's one it worked

[00:53:08] fine um I probably just got into a bum

[00:53:11] one but by 2028 Burger King is starting

[00:53:15] now they're gonna overhaul 6,000 Burger

[00:53:19] Kings where you're gonna walk in and

[00:53:22] you're not gonna see a person you're

[00:53:24] just gonna see screens and then your

[00:53:26] food comes out through a thing you don't

[00:53:28] unless it's a shake or something that

[00:53:30] could spill you don't see a person at

[00:53:32] least in the ones I've been in I'm not

[00:53:35] against it no the kids don't want to work

[00:53:39] there yeah it doesn't pay enough um

[00:53:42] they're gonna revamp outlets and cut

[00:53:44] costs and with kiosks potentially leading

[00:53:47] to fewer staff yeah and lower wage

[00:53:49] expenses yeah I guess it's time you know

[00:53:52] when people complain I'm like well the

[00:53:55] blacksmiths weren't happy when the car

[00:53:57] came I mean you know stuff comes and do

[00:54:00] we really need a person to do that like

[00:54:02] I'm not about cutting jobs I want to keep

[00:54:04] jobs but these jobs are low paying and a

[00:54:06] lot of people don't want them so I will

[00:54:09] right there's some people make it's

[00:54:10] like that thing in the Raleigh Airport

[00:54:12] where the anything just pops out

[00:54:13] somebody made it um there's people back

[00:54:16] there and if you're an antisocial person

[00:54:19] this is way better right um they have

[00:54:22] they have plans for 85 to 90 percent of

[00:54:25] its 7,000 outlets in the US it's quietly

[00:54:28] announced it would roll out self-service

[00:54:30] kiosks but it was scant on the details

[00:54:32] and did not provide the number at the

[00:54:33] time I'm not against it yeah it's gonna

[00:54:39] take a hot minute they're gonna spend 2.2

[00:54:42] billion doing it yeah but they must have

[00:54:44] done the math um yeah California is

[00:54:49] already doing it so that's in here if

[00:54:51] you're in California go in tell me what

[00:54:53] you think termites are you in favor or

[00:54:54] not um I don't know at some point they're

[00:55:00] just gonna say we're doing it so just

[00:55:03] accept it is it any though would that now

[00:55:06] they have AI drive-thrus I saw it on

[00:55:09] tic-tac and I think it was real I don't

[00:55:11] think it was a bullshit tic-tac video um

[00:55:14] yeah I don't remember AI with McDonald's

[00:55:22] here's some bullshit moving on I'm still

[00:55:27] in favor of the monkeys so great they

[00:55:29] looked at the poster and went this is

[00:55:31] not good this poster is not saying nice

[00:55:34] things about me call Bob call Tom call

[00:55:38] call Sherry and Elaine and we're

[00:55:40] tearing them all down tonight everyone

[00:55:42] we can get our little goddamn tiny

[00:55:44] primate paws on we are ripping them

[00:55:45] apart so so Greece apparently I've never

[00:55:52] been I'd like to go at some point I

[00:55:56] suppose there these summer places in

[00:55:59] Europe are so crowded because Lewis went

[00:56:02] last year and then I was thinking about

[00:56:05] um after Ireland maybe going somewhere

[00:56:08] but then he well I'm going in May to

[00:56:12] Ireland because there's fewer people

[00:56:13] there but still Europe like Lou was

[00:56:16] there in June and he said it was crazy

[00:56:18] like Amsterdam was so crazy he couldn't

[00:56:21] well also grandpa Lou if you're

[00:56:25] listening I'm sorry but you have to get

[00:56:27] those tickets online beforehand he

[00:56:29] thought you could still just like you

[00:56:31] used to be able to yeah just walk up get

[00:56:33] a ticket to museum you would think you

[00:56:35] could just go in well now it's all

[00:56:36] bullshit so I guess the places in Greece

[00:56:39] on the main tourist attractions are

[00:56:41] hyper hyper hyper packed so they're

[00:56:45] gonna offer private tours of the

[00:56:46] Acropolis five thousand bucks what yeah

[00:56:50] so we're gonna make that elitist like

[00:56:54] look I'm not Bernie Sanders I'm not a

[00:56:55] socialist but you should figure out how

[00:56:57] to manage your tickets put them online

[00:57:00] first-come first-serve well they'll be

[00:57:07] taken up time and space yeah so this is

[00:57:09] what it's talking about and then is all

[00:57:11] you know is everybody gonna end up doing

[00:57:13] this where there's only a small amount

[00:57:15] of time yeah you know for regular people

[00:57:18] Jackie and Malcolm Love stood amidst a

[00:57:20] bit of tourist in the heart of Athens

[00:57:22] taking in the Acropolis with a mixture

[00:57:24] of awe and admiration the Greeks capital

[00:57:26] greatest classic site was truly

[00:57:28] magnificent they said but the crowds had

[00:57:30] been such even in April that they

[00:57:32] preferred to experience it from a

[00:57:34] distance we did not go with all those

[00:57:36] people Jackie said looking up at the

[00:57:38] money we didn't think it was the best

[00:57:39] thing to do did we she said nudging her

[00:57:41] husband he was probably like I'm going

[00:57:42] and she was like no okay you're right the

[00:57:46] couple of a bomb she said we wouldn't

[00:57:50] pay the $5,000 for the private tour crazy

[00:57:54] prices certainly not for people like us

[00:57:56] it's the biggest attraction in Greece it

[00:57:58] gets more than 22,000 visitors a day

[00:58:00] forcing authorities to introduce tough

[00:58:03] controls including including a time slot

[00:58:05] yes control your tickets Disney World

[00:58:08] Disneyland me and Bob my friend Bob were

[00:58:10] talking about this like at some point

[00:58:12] they there's just an unlimited amount of

[00:58:14] people that could come in no they've had

[00:58:16] problems with this in both of those so

[00:58:18] how many tickets decide how many are we

[00:58:21] selling total max and then make it

[00:58:24] available instead of going well use too

[00:58:26] many people here let's just charge them

[00:58:28] five grand that'll weed out the crowd

[00:58:30] well it sure will but it's not very nice

[00:58:32] especially when people come all the way

[00:58:33] over there to do that this year officials

[00:58:37] have gone a step further allowing a

[00:58:38] scheme that allows sites here to beat

[00:58:40] the crowd experience the masterpiece on

[00:58:42] an exclusive basis the initiative

[00:58:44] foresees up to four groups of five

[00:58:46] people being guided by an expert between

[00:58:48] seven and nine and eight to ten so it's

[00:58:51] before opening and closing but those

[00:58:54] times could be open to us to everyone

[00:58:58] yes extend the hours to avoid thousands

[00:59:02] of self selfie snap and maybe there's no

[00:59:05] one way in or out I've never been it

[00:59:09] would well the Coliseum like I'm trying

[00:59:11] to think like Rome was really crowded

[00:59:13] but the Coliseum there's really only a

[00:59:15] few ways in legally in the Vatican

[00:59:19] there's only one way in I don't know

[00:59:22] about the Acropolis maybe it's just such

[00:59:23] a free-for-all they can't control it but

[00:59:27] they're still selling tickets so they

[00:59:28] must right be counting people we've had

[00:59:32] requests from tour operators operators

[00:59:34] for a very long time right of course they

[00:59:37] want to do it that's how they're gonna

[00:59:38] make a shit ton of money yeah I don't

[00:59:42] know oh you also get a replica of a coin

[00:59:46] at your souvenir for your five grand

[00:59:48] you could get it some car yeah leave in

[00:59:51] there I don't know I say I vote no I

[00:59:56] vote no one marrying your first cousin

[00:59:58] these are my votes today I vote yes on

[01:00:00] the monkeys in Thailand keep the monkeys

[01:00:03] stop with the evil posters put up nice

[01:00:06] pictures of them maybe you can sway them

[01:00:09] maybe oil paintings tiny little oil

[01:00:11] paintings of all the monkeys in town I

[01:00:14] do it I can paint speaking of animals

[01:00:24] being smarter than you think an orangutan

[01:00:27] appeared to treat a wound with medicine

[01:00:28] from a tropical plant in the latest

[01:00:30] examples of some animals attempt to sue

[01:00:32] their own ills with medicine found in

[01:00:34] the forest this orangutan I've seen his

[01:00:37] picture her picture I don't know had a

[01:00:40] horrible well that's the other thing I

[01:00:43] was taught and I asked you without any

[01:00:47] information how do you describe this

[01:00:49] monkey and I showed you a picture or

[01:00:51] ape or whatever and you go orangutan I

[01:00:53] go that's what I've said my whole life

[01:00:55] right well everybody that was in charge

[01:00:58] of me failed completely there's no G on

[01:01:01] the end no and then I went to Google and

[01:01:04] said how do you pronounce and it was

[01:01:06] like orangutan orangutan who says

[01:01:09] orangutan no it's orangutan and it was a

[01:01:12] fun word to say as a kid because it all

[01:01:14] sounds hilarious well I'm just gonna

[01:01:16] keep saying it I've said it wrong this

[01:01:18] long orangutan no it's orangutan

[01:01:25] Tang and you have to throw your Midwest

[01:01:26] part of there oh my god I started

[01:01:28] writing a team do they have a new

[01:01:30] orangutan oh my god this guy an adult

[01:01:37] male he had a horrible wound under his

[01:01:39] eye but it was almost like attached to

[01:01:41] his eye like you're like ooh this is bad

[01:01:44] well scientists observe his name is

[01:01:47] ruckus pluck and chew up some leaves

[01:01:50] from a medicinal plant used by the

[01:01:52] people throughout Southeast Asia to

[01:01:53] treat pain and inflammation the adult

[01:01:55] man orangutan uses fingers to apply the

[01:01:57] plant juices to an injury on his right

[01:02:00] cheek afterward he pressed the chewed

[01:02:02] plant to cover the open wound like a

[01:02:04] makeshift bandage previous things have

[01:02:09] seen them kind of doing it but they

[01:02:10] hadn't seen proof yet this is the first

[01:02:12] time we observed a wild animal applying

[01:02:14] a quite potent medicinal plant directly

[01:02:16] to his wound this was recorded in 2022

[01:02:20] but they're just releasing it in a paper

[01:02:22] I think it was so long to write papers I

[01:02:24] would just tell people hey you can't

[01:02:25] believe what I saw today they never saw

[01:02:30] somebody with this kind of know with

[01:02:32] this kind of behavior and he the whole

[01:02:34] thing was fixed he recovered perfectly

[01:02:37] yeah it's amazing this is what I'm

[01:02:41] saying don't underestimate the primates

[01:02:43] yeah what what preserve is he in can't

[01:02:49] you walk over and hand him a bottle of

[01:02:51] neosporin and go here you go he's a

[01:02:52] little tube of neosporin it's very cheap

[01:02:54] at Walgreens don't feel bad it's free to

[01:02:56] you it's free just he put it right there

[01:02:59] here's here's a little something for our

[01:03:09] everyday folks how do we like Southwest

[01:03:13] Airlines well I I don't love it but

[01:03:18] here's the props I'll give them it

[01:03:20] always makes it I'm never late and they

[01:03:23] haven't lost luggage and they don't

[01:03:24] charge you for luggage well I haven't I

[01:03:28] went a hundred times from Nashville to

[01:03:31] st. Louis on Southwest and to Kansas

[01:03:33] City new airport fabulous Kansas City

[01:03:36] termites so great um and there was never

[01:03:40] a flight delayed nothing it was good so

[01:03:44] it it gets you there I don't here's the

[01:03:47] thing though the boarding process because

[01:03:50] I do a joke in my act that I don't know

[01:03:52] why people bother going to faith healers

[01:03:54] because Southwest Airlines will cure any

[01:03:56] any problem you have because I go on

[01:03:59] Southwest and I see about 20 people

[01:04:01] getting on in a wheelchair and then we

[01:04:03] land in Kansas City and everybody walked

[01:04:05] off Oh miracles everywhere boom you get a

[01:04:10] miracle boom you're secured boom you're

[01:04:12] healed it's such bullshit um you know

[01:04:17] the old people absolutely I don't even

[01:04:19] care if it's just cuz you're old that's

[01:04:20] fine but a lot of them bull shit they

[01:04:25] just want a first time well Southwest is

[01:04:27] considering and very likely to not have

[01:04:31] open seating board you're gonna have to

[01:04:32] pay for seats pick your seat buy your

[01:04:34] seat but it's also because Southwest is

[01:04:36] realizing all the money they're losing

[01:04:38] so let's say you go on United or American

[01:04:41] or Delta you can upgrade yourself to

[01:04:43] economy plus or whatever you want to call

[01:04:45] it or up to first class or or or or well

[01:04:48] none of those exist on Southwest so

[01:04:50] they're missing out on that income so

[01:04:53] they're gonna prop their weighing but

[01:04:55] it's already falling in favor of we're

[01:04:56] doing it changing boarding and seating

[01:04:59] the carrier stands out from the other

[01:05:00] large airlines with this open seating

[01:05:02] plan meanwhiles route rivals like Delta

[01:05:04] and United have touted high revenue

[01:05:06] growth from premium seating yeah you're

[01:05:09] missing it um their CEO is Bob Jordan I

[01:05:14] remember when it was the guy that

[01:05:15] invented it that's how old I am I can't

[01:05:18] remember his name but he was awesome and

[01:05:20] he used to fly around in costumes he'd

[01:05:22] be on your plane he was the Easter Bunny

[01:05:24] when I got on a plane and it was

[01:05:26] actually him yeah he had an Easter Bunny

[01:05:29] outfit on but sometimes his outfits

[01:05:31] didn't make sense maybe he was just a

[01:05:33] secret furry nobody knew herb yeah he

[01:05:36] was fun yeah yeah um the boarding is

[01:05:43] organized I always hoped herb was on my

[01:05:46] planes it was like meeting Bucky like

[01:05:47] you're like oh this is great look at him

[01:05:50] it was always Dallas to summer he must

[01:05:52] have lived in Dallas because I feel

[01:05:54] like whenever I would go to not the big

[01:05:58] airport in Dallas I can't think of a

[01:05:59] little one name oh come on Kathleen I

[01:06:02] don't Midway is Houston it's Dallas see

[01:06:07] what the Dallas love that's the smaller

[01:06:11] one yeah we're Southwest used to go in

[01:06:12] and out of all that I don't know if

[01:06:13] that's still kids but um Delta and

[01:06:16] United have touted high revenue growth

[01:06:18] for premium seating such as business

[01:06:19] class and strong upsell rates because

[01:06:21] you can even buy at the last minute if

[01:06:23] nobody bought it they offer it to you

[01:06:24] right do you want to jump up to an aisle

[01:06:27] or a window and you know get out of a

[01:06:28] middle seat boom 25 bucks or whatever

[01:06:30] they want to charge that day I'm sure

[01:06:32] they're making a lot of extra money I

[01:06:33] don't mind the boarding process I think

[01:06:35] it works there's a million comedians with

[01:06:37] jokes about it my friend Aaron he's

[01:06:39] lost a lot of weight but he used to be

[01:06:41] semi chubby and he said his plan was he

[01:06:44] always picked the fattest guy on the

[01:06:45] plane and then he sat next to that guy

[01:06:47] because no one would want to sit in the

[01:06:49] middle of him so he boxed people out and

[01:06:53] then there's another community that said

[01:06:55] act too excited for people to sit next

[01:06:57] to you and then they'll think you're

[01:06:59] crazy like just sit on the aisle and go

[01:07:01] pat the seat and go it's open do you

[01:07:04] want to sit by me and people be like

[01:07:07] so you know count the days travelers I

[01:07:11] think it's coming to an end I think

[01:07:14] Southwest is gonna redo it all but that

[01:07:17] might cut down on the miracles too yeah I

[01:07:20] feel right they are the faith healing

[01:07:24] they outdo every televangelist I've ever

[01:07:27] seen do you live in Washington the state

[01:07:30] of Washington no no I don't live well

[01:07:34] guess what you won't be the only one

[01:07:36] living there the feds are moving in

[01:07:38] grizzlies to the northern cascades yeah

[01:07:42] last confirmed sighting of a grizzly

[01:07:44] bear was in 1996 they're coming back the

[01:07:48] National Park Service and US way of

[01:07:49] Fish and Wildlife Service announced

[01:07:50] Thursday a decision to actively restore

[01:07:52] the animals in the region where they

[01:07:53] live for thousands of years last confirmed

[01:07:55] sighting 1996 the plan is to move three

[01:07:57] to seven grizzly bears from the Rocky

[01:07:59] Mountains or British Columbia that's you

[01:08:01] paddles every summer for five to ten

[01:08:03] years till we get a population of 25

[01:08:05] bears goal of the population is 200

[01:08:08] bears in 60 to 100 years there's no

[01:08:12] timeline yet for when the bears will be

[01:08:13] moved into Washington but federal

[01:08:15] officials will publish updates as they

[01:08:16] are finalized we're gonna once again

[01:08:18] see grizzly bears in the landscape or

[01:08:20] storing an important threat of the

[01:08:21] fabric of the northern Cascades now I

[01:08:23] would think there's people they're gonna

[01:08:24] be upset about this I'm not sure why

[01:08:28] we're doing I'll keep reading um it had

[01:08:31] 12,000 public comments many with

[01:08:33] concerns over the Bears effect on human

[01:08:35] lives humans livestock and other wildlife

[01:08:37] right but then and I somebody else

[01:08:40] called it outrageous and make misguided

[01:08:42] um it's summer gonna shoot on

[01:08:46] immediately well I would too if it's

[01:08:47] gonna eat my animals yeah um they're

[01:08:51] considered a threatened species in the

[01:08:53] lower 48 on the federal endangered act

[01:08:55] species there about 2,000 grizzly bears

[01:08:57] outside of Alaska in the 19th century

[01:08:59] there were a mess estimated 50,000 in

[01:09:01] the United States but their numbers

[01:09:04] dropped by the early 1930s mostly

[01:09:06] because of killing humans under the new

[01:09:08] plan the Bears would be considered a

[01:09:10] non-essential non-essential

[01:09:11] experimental population they're gonna be

[01:09:14] treating as threatened that means you

[01:09:16] can't be shooting them and shit I mean

[01:09:18] yeah for fun I don't think they're not

[01:09:21] gonna have a hunting season if they're

[01:09:22] bringing them in um yeah I don't it

[01:09:27] doesn't really say why except to bring

[01:09:30] them back but I don't know yeah I'm not

[01:09:34] gonna get into an opinion on that

[01:09:36] because hey I don't have one and be

[01:09:37] animal people go crazy crazy this is

[01:09:42] very important if you live in the

[01:09:46] southeast Tennessee Kentucky

[01:09:48] Carolinas so I've told you about the

[01:09:51] cicadas that are coming if you listen

[01:09:53] to this podcast you were very up to up

[01:09:54] to speed on that well there it started

[01:09:57] baby cat brought one up and baby can't

[01:09:59] had another portion I don't think she

[01:10:00] realized it was alive anyway started

[01:10:02] flying around she was like man man man

[01:10:05] she's so not bright sometimes that it is

[01:10:08] absolutely hilarious I'm like you brought

[01:10:11] it here and then she was just backed off

[01:10:13] and because it was I mean they can fly

[01:10:16] right a strange fungus could transform

[01:10:19] emerging cicadas into salt shakers of

[01:10:22] death zombie cicadas you heard it not

[01:10:28] gonna reread I'm gonna tell you about

[01:10:31] zombie zikas this spring billions of

[01:10:35] cicadas will emerge after more than a

[01:10:36] decade underground ready to climb into

[01:10:38] the trees and make a ruckus as they sing

[01:10:41] to attract mates I actually had one fly

[01:10:43] on me when I was doing my 5k thing

[01:10:45] through the green belt and they just

[01:10:47] land on you and like even when you flick

[01:10:49] them off they don't really want to leave

[01:10:51] yeah well but not as hyper as a grab

[01:10:55] grasshopper they're not like a grasshopper

[01:10:57] is faster they seem lazier I don't know

[01:11:01] like I flicked it and it still didn't

[01:11:03] wanna I'm like get off and then it flies

[01:11:06] away but anyway um some of these insects

[01:11:10] won't succeed in their goal finding a

[01:11:12] mate instead they will be controlled

[01:11:14] like zombies into spreading a strange

[01:11:17] fungus that hijacks cicadas bodies and

[01:11:19] behavior the details of the fungus

[01:11:22] attacks on the bugs destroying insects

[01:11:23] genitalia replacing their abdomens with

[01:11:26] a cavity full of fungal spores

[01:11:28] manipulating the bugs into hyper sexual

[01:11:31] behavior to spread the fungus further

[01:11:33] and transforming cicadas into what

[01:11:35] scientists have called salt shakers of

[01:11:37] death may seem like they belong in a

[01:11:39] creature horror movie but when it comes

[01:11:41] to the fungus they said the truth is

[01:11:44] actually much stranger than fiction

[01:11:46] mm-hmm they don't know how they get

[01:11:49] exposed to the fungus but when they're

[01:11:52] exposed the spores make their way into

[01:11:55] their body and from that point on the

[01:11:57] cicadas at their mercy of the fungal

[01:11:59] parasite a massive fungal spores builds

[01:12:01] up in the abdomen and effect it infects

[01:12:03] the cicada eventually the back end of

[01:12:05] the cicada including its genitalia fall

[01:12:07] off in its place a white fungal a plug

[01:12:11] is exposed a clump of spores that are

[01:12:13] erupting out of what other genitalia

[01:12:15] and abdomen once were it looks like

[01:12:17] there's a gumdrop gumdrop that has been

[01:12:20] dropped in chalk dust glued to the

[01:12:22] backside they'll still attempt to mate

[01:12:26] even without their genitalia right it's

[01:12:30] still a drunk dude at a bar so if that

[01:12:40] thing falls off of them then they die

[01:12:42] the if the fungus thing that part falls

[01:12:46] off yeah they're flying salt shakers go

[01:12:51] into it affects the next generation of

[01:12:53] cicadas it will emerge more than a decade

[01:12:55] later it's not stopping mm-hmm they're

[01:12:59] called zombies so now you know if you

[01:13:02] see one and it flips over and it's got a

[01:13:04] white chunk of dot I've already seen

[01:13:06] like three no no I wasn't looking I

[01:13:11] don't know I was looking to make fun of

[01:13:13] the cat she's like what what's happening

[01:13:19] you did it you did it all right we're

[01:13:24] gonna we're gonna end with celebrity

[01:13:26] writer things and then I have to do a

[01:13:27] couple um quotes from Taytay oh and I

[01:13:30] have to do a thank you hold on I don't

[01:13:32] have that many thank yous because I

[01:13:34] didn't go anywhere I just have my post

[01:13:36] office box let's do some more celebrity

[01:13:40] writer things I did Rihanna Paul

[01:13:44] McCartney this is what he requires

[01:13:46] backstage plants everywhere meat nowhere

[01:13:51] oh that would really disappoint some of

[01:13:55] my opening acts they're looking for

[01:13:57] sandwich legendary cost of his writer is

[01:14:00] four grand no legendary blue the

[01:14:07] he banishes fur leather oh I don't know

[01:14:14] if my puma tennis shoes are real leather

[01:14:16] oh shit he made me take off my shoes um

[01:14:22] he can only have animal free materials

[01:14:25] cotton denim velvet in his dressing room

[01:14:27] and that his limousines cannot be

[01:14:29] made of leather suffice to say that

[01:14:31] inviting Paul McCartney to a steakhouse

[01:14:33] would be a very bad idea terrible yep

[01:14:35] Jay-z his request cost 15 grand he wants

[01:14:43] seven dressing rooms and several types

[01:14:46] of drinks well a lot of the venues that

[01:14:48] he would play there's bazillions of

[01:14:50] dressing rooms it doesn't matter here

[01:14:52] you want you want a hundred I mean here

[01:14:54] take them the amount but it doesn't mean

[01:14:57] they're gonna be great it just means we

[01:14:59] are in a concrete basement of a concrete

[01:15:01] establishment here's your concrete little

[01:15:04] cell that's why when the opener always

[01:15:06] says you want me to stay in here I'm

[01:15:07] like yeah I'll be so bored I mean you

[01:15:10] don't have to if you want to look at

[01:15:11] your notes or something go ahead I'm not

[01:15:13] you've been not your mother telling you

[01:15:14] you have to but isn't it more fun if

[01:15:17] there's two of us but I don't have hard

[01:15:19] people with me and these guys um this is

[01:15:22] what he wants he has seven he wants 77

[01:15:27] degree room temperature it was also 77

[01:15:33] something yeah Beyonce 77 it's right

[01:15:37] there um he wants a large sofa 48

[01:15:41] bottles of Fiji holy shit six cans of

[01:15:45] coke totally reasonable six fan cans of

[01:15:47] Red Bull I get it six bottles of vitamin

[01:15:50] water he doesn't share the Pepsi only

[01:15:53] deal he's alright with it all right this

[01:15:56] is this is the one because I'm gonna do

[01:15:58] I'm gonna just do a couple every week

[01:15:59] cuz they're really good this one I think

[01:16:01] is by far the craziest that I've seen

[01:16:06] but the other ones are good too I'll

[01:16:07] save them for next week Celine Dion she's

[01:16:14] so French she's just everything about

[01:16:16] her so frosty three hundred fifty

[01:16:20] thousand dollars that's what the

[01:16:22] it's gonna cost she wants a private jet

[01:16:25] and 75 first-class hotel rooms for her

[01:16:29] production team well how far are you

[01:16:33] going on this jet right I know their

[01:16:35] private jet is basically five thousand

[01:16:37] dollars an hour it doesn't matter how

[01:16:39] many people are on it so how far are you

[01:16:41] going um she has a presidential suite

[01:16:46] for her and her son what about the other

[01:16:49] son aren't there too I guess he doesn't

[01:16:53] go a mandatory temperature of 71.6 you

[01:16:58] know I've never thought about demanding

[01:17:00] ever a temperature but I do remember

[01:17:04] being somewhere in Pennsylvania going is

[01:17:06] there any way I could get a space heater

[01:17:08] I mean guys it's I didn't take off my

[01:17:10] coat I wanted to go on stage in my coat

[01:17:12] but I stopped myself because I can't be

[01:17:15] that crazy but it was that fucking cold

[01:17:17] they can't heat those old theaters and I

[01:17:19] don't blame them but can we and then I

[01:17:21] think well space heater will probably

[01:17:23] cause a fire and then I'll be the cause

[01:17:25] of that so then Midwest just shuts up

[01:17:27] and I figure out what if I jog in place

[01:17:30] I'll get warmer like I don't even ask for

[01:17:32] it but I wear long underwear in Wichita

[01:17:35] and Tulsa this year not embarrassed to say

[01:17:38] it yeah I wore three weekends in a row

[01:17:40] it was two in Wichita right and like four

[01:17:44] in Tulsa which was abnormally cold even

[01:17:46] for them no I had a wonderful show I was

[01:17:50] cozy toasty not cold at all shares only

[01:17:56] 20 grand she does require a separate

[01:17:58] hotel room for her wigs that makes me

[01:18:01] laugh so you can have it you want a room

[01:18:03] for your hair no problem

[01:18:09] she was that her other two strange

[01:18:12] requests that she must have aloe vera

[01:18:15] tissues available at all time and she

[01:18:17] will only use black cups I don't know

[01:18:24] it's kind of weird um so before I do my

[01:18:28] titty quotes shout out Oh Carhartt I

[01:18:33] don't ever say things on this show to

[01:18:35] get free shit but I bought my my cousin

[01:18:40] Mike had a baby and I found baby car

[01:18:43] heart overalls which were the cutest

[01:18:45] goddamn things that I've ever seen in my

[01:18:47] life and I must have mentioned it on the

[01:18:48] podcast I don't remember maybe I just

[01:18:50] cuz I said go if you're looking for you

[01:18:53] know if it's a like my cousin Mike he

[01:18:55] likes to hunt and fish and he's outdoor

[01:18:57] guy he wants his kid I'm sure he wants

[01:18:58] the boys to look like they're ready to

[01:19:00] go I have car hearts yeah but I go

[01:19:02] fishing and anyway the baby ones are the

[01:19:05] cutest things ever seen so they sent me

[01:19:06] this whole hat and it's got a clover it

[01:19:08] says 1889 Carhartt I love all Carhartt

[01:19:11] things um yes so the a national term

[01:19:15] running work for Carhartt giving that I

[01:19:18] got a pint glass it says I do not recall

[01:19:20] and I need an attorney from Judy in New

[01:19:22] Hampshire New Hampshire termite a hermit

[01:19:25] I'd call her my Hampshire termite Betty

[01:19:28] and Kareen Boise termites personalized

[01:19:31] pint glass and I got keychains Sally um I

[01:19:35] got that book I can't pronounce this

[01:19:37] man's last name it's from World War two

[01:19:39] it's a biography I'm excited yeah

[01:19:41] Claudia gave me the mr. bill doll this

[01:19:47] is what the monkeys said when they saw

[01:19:49] the poster Judy in Asheville termite

[01:19:57] would like me to come back up there and

[01:19:59] you know I do get up there I've been up

[01:20:00] there a bunch I love to go up with the

[01:20:02] children in the in Asheville there's a

[01:20:04] lot of normal regular older people too

[01:20:06] but there's a lot of kids that I think

[01:20:08] think it's some sort of Nirvana till

[01:20:11] winter and they can't get off the

[01:20:13] mountain Monica Kansas City got a welcome

[01:20:17] pillow for the new stuff podcast I don't

[01:20:19] have it up here but it's downstairs yeah

[01:20:21] thank you okay we're gonna do our little

[01:20:23] quotes and off we go to go see if it's

[01:20:27] actually raining let's do Tay Tay first

[01:20:29] oh this is a forward to 1989 and the

[01:20:41] album in 2014 you are the only one who

[01:20:44] gets to decide what you will be

[01:20:46] remembered for Oh deep thought yeah not

[01:20:52] really true though it depends on who

[01:20:54] gives your eulogy I could have made up

[01:20:56] all kinds of shit about my dad if I

[01:20:57] wanted here's another thing about

[01:21:01] jackalope no I did not do that I did

[01:21:04] not I would not do Dolly let's get a

[01:21:06] good one um I don't know I remember

[01:21:15] that one give me a second reflecting on

[01:21:20] her positive outlook in an interview

[01:21:21] with Southern Living I'm a songwriter so

[01:21:24] I have to live with my feelings on my

[01:21:26] sleeve I have to not harden my heart

[01:21:29] because I want to say stay open to feel

[01:21:31] things so when I hurt I hurt all over and

[01:21:34] when I cry I cry real hard but when I'm

[01:21:37] mad I'm mad all over but I'm always I

[01:21:40] was born with a happy heart I'm always

[01:21:42] looking forward to things being better

[01:21:44] there's that always a tiny bit I like

[01:21:47] where the rednecks go when I'm mad I'm

[01:21:49] mad all over my head Dolly would say I'm

[01:21:55] gonna fuck you up maybe I don't know

[01:21:57] what she says all right termites so go

[01:22:01] have a fun week I am doing a whole lot

[01:22:07] of nothing which is much needed it's

[01:22:09] been a crazy crazy year and a half and

[01:22:11] it's calm down time well I am packing

[01:22:15] for Ireland I'm trying to find clothes

[01:22:17] that are gonna go the pair well with 52

[01:22:19] in rain yeah I don't even care if it

[01:22:24] gets too cold I just quit and go to the

[01:22:25] pub like I don't take golf seriously

[01:22:28] enough this is a great story I'll tell

[01:22:31] it before then we'll sign off but so one

[01:22:35] time Lewis and I were golfing in Ireland

[01:22:37] and we went to Ballybunion it's a famous

[01:22:38] course but there was like 60 mile an hour

[01:22:40] winds sideways rain it's a fucking

[01:22:43] hurricane I think over 50 you're

[01:22:45] officially hurricane and lose like are

[01:22:47] we really playing are we are we are we

[01:22:49] serious I go loom took a year to get this

[01:22:52] tea time I go I'll go in and speak to

[01:22:54] Nora about it said there's this older

[01:22:56] woman Nora who's worked there forever

[01:22:58] still works there as a she knows me

[01:23:01] Kathleen Madigan I love the way they say

[01:23:03] my name it's so much better than

[01:23:05] Kathleen in the south oh there's not a

[01:23:07] third not two ways Kathleen anyway I go

[01:23:11] in and I in the meantime there's all

[01:23:14] these tour vans golf tour vans showing up

[01:23:17] with like eight guys say from Detroit

[01:23:20] they're in their 60s this is their dream

[01:23:22] vacation they are keeping the tea time

[01:23:25] every single man is putting on

[01:23:27] waterproof clothing and then bizarrely

[01:23:29] enough I saw a guy I knew from Detroit

[01:23:31] yeah he just rolled right out of one of

[01:23:33] the vans I'm like oh my god I know him

[01:23:36] this is crazy but it's van after van

[01:23:38] after van of 90% men so I go in and I

[01:23:42] say to Nora I said look our tea time is

[01:23:46] in an hour but I have a senior citizen

[01:23:49] with me I didn't tell Lewis I said that

[01:23:51] because she goes you're not gonna give

[01:23:53] it a go why wouldn't you give it a go I

[01:23:56] go look outside Nora it's a hurricane I

[01:23:59] mean it's fun but so she's like let me

[01:24:04] see and I think on Fridays or Saturdays

[01:24:07] it's like a mix of members and then

[01:24:09] public too and she had to do a little

[01:24:11] puzzle she goes I'll propose this go

[01:24:15] have a nice Irish breakfast take a one

[01:24:17] hour nap and come back so like a two and

[01:24:20] a half hour I said that'd be great maybe

[01:24:22] it'll settle down maybe it won't it

[01:24:24] could get worse I don't know so I got

[01:24:26] I got out the car and I just sat there

[01:24:28] and lose like what are we what are we

[01:24:31] doing play and I just let him I said well

[01:24:34] we had a nice conversation he goes how

[01:24:37] did it go I wouldn't answer him right

[01:24:38] away I wanted him to panic and I said

[01:24:41] we're not playing now we're gonna go do

[01:24:43] this he goes this is why I love

[01:24:45] vacationing with women because if I was

[01:24:47] in that van full of guys I'd be

[01:24:49] called all kinds of names and he went

[01:24:51] through a whole list of bad names that

[01:24:53] I will not repeat but basically calling

[01:24:55] him a big scaredy cat and you won't go

[01:24:57] and he said I would have felt the peer

[01:24:59] pressure and I would have put on some

[01:25:01] stupid fucking water suit just so I

[01:25:03] didn't get made fun of it I would have

[01:25:05] done it I said what is the moral of this

[01:25:07] story Lou women are more sensible

[01:25:09] there's no reason to go out in that when

[01:25:11] there's a lovely pub that has an Irish

[01:25:14] breakfast with a Guinness it's all

[01:25:16] available at one time yeah I mean you

[01:25:19] can't you don't you can't hold the club

[01:25:22] but those tours they've got it boom boom

[01:25:26] boom boom we're going to these five golf

[01:25:28] and you can't reschedule the trip no so

[01:25:31] it's either bail or do it yep or go in

[01:25:35] and be nice to Nora like I did but the

[01:25:37] tour guide can't do that he's got eight

[01:25:39] guys that's two tea times of two

[01:25:41] foursomes I'm going for like two

[01:25:45] for like ten days yeah it's takes two

[01:25:49] to get there so I mean one and one travel

[01:25:52] date blah blah blah I am I'm gonna take

[01:25:55] Southwest through it goes to Omaha go a

[01:25:58] little bit the wrong way and then up to

[01:26:00] Minneapolis and then up we're gonna stop

[01:26:03] right here in Ohio then we're gonna go

[01:26:06] to Pennsylvania then New York then we're

[01:26:09] stopping Greenland a lot of people don't

[01:26:11] know Southwest stops there and then

[01:26:12] we're gonna land in Shannon at the two

[01:26:15] gates that they've procured at the

[01:26:17] Shannon they did have talk one time

[01:26:20] about Southwest going international I'm

[01:26:22] like oh my god do they Wow I'll have to

[01:26:29] look that up

[01:26:32] all right termites and it was a Stevie

[01:26:36] Oh