Episode 175: My Dad’s Words of Wisdom, Buc-ee’s Emotional Support Duck, & Praise To the Patron Saint of Gambling

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan.

[00:00:10] Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast.

[00:00:12] You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool.

[00:00:15] Let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:18] It's permites.

[00:00:30] Welcome.

[00:00:32] I love it when all three cats come in the house and then I just go welcome.

[00:00:35] And then they stare at me like I'm an asshole.

[00:00:39] Welcome to episode fire, fire, fire, fire.

[00:00:43] So I'm so well, first, I'm just going to show this out of the gate.

[00:00:47] The new baby cat t shirt because it's a Madigan's Pubcast.

[00:00:49] It's a baseball shirt.

[00:00:51] They're online right now.

[00:00:52] I love it. It's baby cat with a biggie smallest crown.

[00:00:55] But she looks asleep.

[00:00:58] She actually laid on a whole pile of them, so you might get one with cat hair.

[00:01:01] I'm trying to try to not.

[00:01:03] I'm trying to just give those away to my friends.

[00:01:05] I'm trying to make sure they don't go in the box.

[00:01:07] It goes to the merchandise children.

[00:01:10] But anyway, if you want a baby cat t shirt, baby cats up here somewhere.

[00:01:13] Baby cat, there's your shirt.

[00:01:16] So I had to skip the week because my dad did pass away.

[00:01:20] It was very sad.

[00:01:21] I'm not going to get into too, too, too much

[00:01:23] because I don't want to start crying because that's not what this podcast is for.

[00:01:28] But I did make it home to be with him.

[00:01:30] Me and my sister spent the night with him.

[00:01:32] And she at some point, she's like, Kathleen, he's not breathing.

[00:01:35] I go, you've been saying that since last May.

[00:01:38] Shut up and go back to bed.

[00:01:40] Well, we're not in bed. She's in a cot.

[00:01:41] I'm in a chair. I'd finally like fall asleep.

[00:01:44] But anyway, he fought very hard.

[00:01:47] You just can't you can't get past a fourth stroke.

[00:01:51] It's brutal.

[00:01:51] I mean, and then they expect it to do.

[00:01:53] They expect these old people to do this when they're old.

[00:01:55] Like he was 83.

[00:01:57] Like there's just, you know, you're tired.

[00:01:59] Christ, I'm tired now.

[00:02:01] Like, I can't imagine going, OK, here's what you're going to go through.

[00:02:04] It has been a very long year.

[00:02:06] But we cheers to Jackalope.

[00:02:08] And I'll tell you his two pieces of advice in a minute.

[00:02:11] But first, I want to read this because I haven't laughed as hard in a church

[00:02:14] probably since I was 10.

[00:02:18] Interesting.

[00:02:19] So I don't know what happens at.

[00:02:23] I think most of the funerals I've been to are Catholic.

[00:02:25] I don't know that I've been to other ones.

[00:02:27] I'm not sure I've been to one that wasn't well Jewish.

[00:02:30] I've been to Jewish version.

[00:02:32] Lewis's dad.

[00:02:34] And then I just got to say, Lou's not very good at funerals.

[00:02:38] No. Shocking.

[00:02:41] We're just sitting there by the grave site.

[00:02:44] And I have to hit him and go say something.

[00:02:48] And he was like, what about?

[00:02:51] I think he thought because the funeral people came to the gravesite,

[00:02:54] I think he thought they were going to do all that.

[00:02:57] But I also don't know. I'm not Jewish.

[00:02:58] I don't know what you guys do at a grave site.

[00:03:00] I know what we do, but I don't.

[00:03:01] But also clearly no one was going to do nothing.

[00:03:04] And I'm like, do you want me to emcee this little?

[00:03:06] You want me to get up and host this show?

[00:03:08] Get up. And then I said, get up, say something and tell people

[00:03:11] they can say something and feel.

[00:03:12] So anyway, aside from Jewish, Lou's version of Jewish, which isn't very...

[00:03:18] Which is Lewish.

[00:03:20] Lewish. It's Lewish.

[00:03:23] It's not very, you know, traditional.

[00:03:27] Probably. I think Lou probably missed some of the rules.

[00:03:30] I'm just saying.

[00:03:31] But I always tell Louis, he, you know, these there's people on Twitter

[00:03:35] that say Jewish people have space lasers.

[00:03:37] I'm like, you didn't attend that meeting either, Lou.

[00:03:39] You're my best friend.

[00:03:41] You're supposed to be.

[00:03:41] And if you're Jewish, you're supposed to work it for us.

[00:03:43] Let's work this out.

[00:03:44] What do you mean there was a space laser meeting and you didn't get one?

[00:03:48] What do you mean Hollywood's controlled by Jewish people?

[00:03:50] That's what everybody's saying on Twitter.

[00:03:52] You're Jewish, Lou. Where's that? Come on, get on it.

[00:03:56] He always laughs. He's like, yeah, I don't...

[00:03:58] Anyway, so when you go into a Catholic church for the funeral,

[00:04:02] there's little mask cards that are handed out or they're just sitting there.

[00:04:07] And it's just a little thing.

[00:04:08] I collect them.

[00:04:10] Of my relatives, which shocked my brother.

[00:04:13] And I take them, anybody who like gambling, I take them with me in my wallet.

[00:04:17] And then sometimes I put them on, depending if I'm drinking.

[00:04:20] I don't want to leave them behind.

[00:04:21] I bring them out to help me win money.

[00:04:23] Right. Doesn't work?

[00:04:26] Yeah, it works. Totally works.

[00:04:28] At least I think so, because Louis saw one.

[00:04:31] He goes, Kathleen, what's that on your machine?

[00:04:34] Like, it's a mask card of my grandma.

[00:04:36] He's like, Jesus Christ.

[00:04:37] I go exactly. That's who we're counting on here, Lou.

[00:04:40] Jesus Christ, or the patron saint of gambling.

[00:04:42] See if there is one. Google it.

[00:04:44] Google it. See if there's a patron saint of gambling.

[00:04:48] Will you Google it? Yeah.

[00:04:51] No. There probably is one.

[00:04:55] There's a thousand patron saints.

[00:04:57] Oh, Saint Cainto. Saint Canento?

[00:05:03] Cainto. C-A-Y-E-T.

[00:05:06] Catano. Catano.

[00:05:08] Catano. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know this.

[00:05:11] He's a patron saint of gamblers.

[00:05:12] He was born to well-to-do parents.

[00:05:13] He was born to well-to-do parents where?

[00:05:15] In Italy. Oh, I thought you said in LA.

[00:05:17] I'm like, what?

[00:05:19] Why do we have a saint from LA?

[00:05:21] Oh, he was born in Italy.

[00:05:22] Why is he the saint of gamblers?

[00:05:24] What's his reason? What's the reason?

[00:05:26] He studied law and worked as a diplomat.

[00:05:29] Oh, he worked. He was a lawyer for Pope Julius.

[00:05:32] Maybe he was a side gambler. Yeah.

[00:05:34] Yeah. Well, I'm going to have to get his card.

[00:05:38] Yeah. Yeah.

[00:05:39] So anyway, the mass card,

[00:05:42] it has some religious scene usually on the front and in the back

[00:05:45] it says, in love and memory of John Madigan and this is his birthday.

[00:05:47] And then it says, eternal God,

[00:05:50] you made the man union of man and woman a sign

[00:05:54] a sign of the bond between Christ and the church.

[00:05:57] Grant mercy and peace to Irene Garcia,

[00:06:01] who was untied in love with her husband.

[00:06:04] We're all like, what?

[00:06:06] Who's Irene Garcia?

[00:06:08] May the care and devotion of her life on earth find lasting rewards in heaven.

[00:06:16] Well, and then Patrick goes, they spelled United wrong.

[00:06:20] I go, no, it's untied, Pat.

[00:06:22] She's dead.

[00:06:23] The scar to saying she is already deceased him.

[00:06:27] And then it says, look kindly on her family.

[00:06:29] Never met those people either.

[00:06:31] As they now turn to your compassion and love,

[00:06:34] strengthen their faith and light and lighten their loss.

[00:06:37] We ask, sister, because our Lord, I'm in

[00:06:40] misprint.

[00:06:41] We got to go back to the printer.

[00:06:43] But there were only so many of these till they caught the mistake.

[00:06:47] And then then the people came out like like little squirrels.

[00:06:50] They grabbed them.

[00:06:50] They had one.

[00:06:51] But now these are like Pokemon cards.

[00:06:53] They're like the collector ones where you're like Patrick.

[00:06:57] He goes, I got number five.

[00:07:00] I'm like, how did you get it?

[00:07:02] He said, my assistant, Anna grabbed one on the way in and didn't even read it

[00:07:07] and didn't notice.

[00:07:08] And then he was telling she's like, oh, well, let me see if I got one of the

[00:07:11] misprint.

[00:07:14] So so Jackalope leaves on a laugh.

[00:07:16] He really got me.

[00:07:17] I'm like, Irene Garcia, huh?

[00:07:21] That we were all joking.

[00:07:22] Hey, mom, were there any days where he was just gone for a while

[00:07:26] and didn't really have a good explanation because he might have been

[00:07:28] with his other wife, Irene, before she passed away.

[00:07:31] And maybe we should meet her family.

[00:07:33] Let's go on Facebook and get that going.

[00:07:35] Anybody know Irene Garcia?

[00:07:37] Clearly.

[00:07:39] Oh, my God.

[00:07:40] But we gave him a great party.

[00:07:42] There was like 250, 300 people that made the drive, which was very, very

[00:07:48] nice and open bar at one point.

[00:07:52] I know.

[00:07:52] One point, Patrick's like, I just checked on the bar.

[00:07:55] I go, you let it roll, Pat.

[00:07:57] Let it roll.

[00:07:58] We're not getting cheap now.

[00:07:59] No, no, no, no.

[00:08:01] Let everybody stay as long as they want.

[00:08:03] And it was an evolved course above his favorite course where he played

[00:08:05] men's league.

[00:08:06] So that was very, yeah, well, very, very tired.

[00:08:09] It's been a very long year.

[00:08:10] Jackalope ran the run and we are all beat to shit.

[00:08:16] Yeah, everybody.

[00:08:17] It's very hard to get reoriented.

[00:08:19] I can't even say that word with your life when that was part of it.

[00:08:23] Like every day.

[00:08:24] Where's dad?

[00:08:24] Where's dad?

[00:08:25] Did dad fall?

[00:08:26] Did dad fall?

[00:08:27] Did the fire department come?

[00:08:28] He fell so many times he had a favorite fireman.

[00:08:30] He's like, I like that redheaded guy with the beard.

[00:08:33] He gets me right up.

[00:08:34] I'm like, oh my God.

[00:08:36] You guys are calling too much.

[00:08:37] Well, we did put in our tax money.

[00:08:40] Okay.

[00:08:40] All right.

[00:08:41] Yeah.

[00:08:42] The fire department probably spends half of its life picking up old

[00:08:44] people and installing car seats.

[00:08:46] I feel sorry.

[00:08:47] I don't know if they're taught that when they're going to be fire people.

[00:08:51] Hey, FYI.

[00:08:54] Yeah.

[00:08:54] So Jackalope's advice as we know.

[00:08:58] Never talk to the police.

[00:09:00] Don't even if you're innocent.

[00:09:02] This is free advice.

[00:09:03] Every time I watch law and order or I watch the ID channel, I just scream at

[00:09:06] the television, stop talking to them.

[00:09:08] Stop talking to them.

[00:09:11] I know you didn't know it.

[00:09:12] Most people don't know it.

[00:09:13] Most people don't have a dad that's running around the house saying it was

[00:09:16] God damn people don't understand.

[00:09:18] You don't have to talk to these guys because he was always a defense

[00:09:21] attorney all are or on the side of the little guy because then he fought

[00:09:24] insurance companies.

[00:09:25] That's why he hates insurance.

[00:09:26] You're not allowed to bring that up.

[00:09:27] I'm well, I wouldn't because it would set them off.

[00:09:30] He did work with the cop, which is totally boring, but it was for people

[00:09:33] that got hurt on the job.

[00:09:36] Anyway, so I do not recall and I need an attorney is what you will say.

[00:09:40] You do not have to go to the police station.

[00:09:43] That's another one.

[00:09:44] No.

[00:09:45] If the police say we'd like you to come down and answer some questions.

[00:09:48] This is even if you're innocent, totally innocent, unless you think you

[00:09:52] can really help with the investigation, you know, and you want to.

[00:09:55] If you have a burning desire to do so, but if you're on the fence,

[00:09:59] you don't have to go.

[00:10:01] They have to get a warrant for you to come down.

[00:10:02] You don't have to.

[00:10:03] You do not have to go.

[00:10:05] And then his second piece of advice, which some of the nieces and nephews

[00:10:10] are like, what he would always say if you're if you were broke, go

[00:10:15] buy a Cadillac, change your own luck.

[00:10:18] And the kids were like, yeah, but how can you buy a car if you

[00:10:22] don't have any money?

[00:10:23] It doesn't make sense.

[00:10:25] I go, well, he wasn't being literal, but kind of because you can

[00:10:29] buy it on what's called credit.

[00:10:31] Yeah.

[00:10:31] And you could get any car you want if your credit is good enough.

[00:10:34] You don't have to have any money.

[00:10:35] The kids were like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:10:38] I said his point was if you're sad, go do something fun and make

[00:10:43] yourself happy because nobody else is going to make you happy.

[00:10:45] So it's your job as always.

[00:10:47] My dad's all my day.

[00:10:48] I would care about are we working?

[00:10:49] Who's working?

[00:10:50] Are you working?

[00:10:50] Are you making money?

[00:10:51] He was telling you to work more, but it works.

[00:10:55] You know, if you're having a sad, if you can, if you're not afraid

[00:11:00] to take the credit and he was always just sure he'd make it back.

[00:11:04] So that's his advice.

[00:11:06] The termites are asking for the attorney shirts.

[00:11:08] We're going to restock.

[00:11:09] I'm going to restock the attorney shirts in honor of Jekyllope.

[00:11:12] I don't like to usually restock after we sold a bunch, but I will

[00:11:15] because I think that was a good one and I didn't get one.

[00:11:18] Oh shit.

[00:11:18] Right.

[00:11:19] Oh shit is right.

[00:11:20] Yeah.

[00:11:20] My mom didn't get one.

[00:11:21] I forgot the family.

[00:11:23] I forgot to loot the vault before I gave it to the children.

[00:11:28] Yeah, yeah, I will.

[00:11:29] We'll I will fix it.

[00:11:30] And I got everybody's messages.

[00:11:32] Somebody bought him a whole bunch of masses off to show that one next time.

[00:11:36] I there's so much to go through.

[00:11:37] I can't do it all in too much.

[00:11:41] Yeah.

[00:11:41] Somebody got him the McDonald's cards for his shakes.

[00:11:43] See, that's going to make me cry.

[00:11:44] Um, it's okay.

[00:11:47] Hey, I'll use it.

[00:11:48] Yeah.

[00:11:50] I do love them.

[00:11:52] Probably not as much as he did, but I'll spend it.

[00:11:56] How much lard?

[00:11:58] Lard.

[00:11:58] Lard.

[00:12:01] Oh yeah.

[00:12:02] It's just milk and fat.

[00:12:04] But I think that's what kept him going in extra five weeks.

[00:12:06] I would still have my dad make an ad for McDonald's and say, look, they

[00:12:12] said I was going to be dead in seven days.

[00:12:14] Boom.

[00:12:14] Motherfuckers.

[00:12:15] 4740.

[00:12:19] He got 40 at the time.

[00:12:21] Moses was lost in the desert.

[00:12:22] He got that much time extra due to McDonald's shake.

[00:12:26] So, and if you ever go to Lake of the Ozarks, Randy's frozen custard.

[00:12:30] There's that we had a lot of turtles, which is hot fudge chocolate.

[00:12:33] Uh, uh, yeah.

[00:12:35] Extra caramel, blah, blah, blah.

[00:12:36] No nuts.

[00:12:36] God damn it.

[00:12:37] Um, no, no nuts.

[00:12:39] Well, he couldn't have nuts.

[00:12:40] Christ talk about killing them.

[00:12:42] I would have been that that would have put them over the edge.

[00:12:44] Try to see her.

[00:12:45] So try to swallow some crunchy nuts, dad.

[00:12:50] Oh my God.

[00:12:52] Um, so I got every stuff.

[00:12:53] Thank you.

[00:12:54] Thank you.

[00:12:54] Thank you.

[00:12:54] It's been great reading the comments and then to make every, I had to go

[00:12:58] work after that, but I thought my dad would have been proud cause he would

[00:13:00] have said, you go back to work.

[00:13:02] What do you do?

[00:13:02] Sit around and cry for Christ.

[00:13:04] Like he didn't like even a couple of my siblings along the way have gotten

[00:13:09] divorced and he allotted them.

[00:13:12] He put a time calendar on the refrigerator and said they were

[00:13:15] allowed to be sad that long.

[00:13:18] I said, what happens if they go over?

[00:13:20] Do you like beat them with a fishing pole?

[00:13:22] What happens?

[00:13:23] And he said, no, it's just a conscious effort.

[00:13:26] You can't wallow because if you fall into the wallowing,

[00:13:28] sometimes you can't get out.

[00:13:30] So there was a limit on, um, depression.

[00:13:36] Very old school.

[00:13:37] Yeah.

[00:13:38] Fuck medication.

[00:13:39] We're not doing that.

[00:13:40] We're going to have a schedule on the refrigerator and you're

[00:13:42] going to go by that schedule.

[00:13:44] So I did go to work.

[00:13:45] Um, I went to, I can't, well, let's talk about backwards for a minute, Detroit.

[00:13:50] Cause I had to go to work then when he was that sick, but

[00:13:54] because those were makeup shows.

[00:13:56] I'm like, I can't not go.

[00:13:57] I'll only be gone for 24 hours and he did not.

[00:14:00] He died the next night.

[00:14:01] Yeah.

[00:14:01] I made it home plenty, plenty, plenty of time.

[00:14:03] But, um, and I had just been there and I left to go to Detroit, which

[00:14:06] was actually really refreshing because all the children and they're all young

[00:14:11] that work at the Royal Oak music theater, they're so fun.

[00:14:14] They're so good at what they do.

[00:14:15] And the crowds there for me have always been great.

[00:14:18] I it's, I think Detroit reminds me of St.

[00:14:20] Louis, like they had cars.

[00:14:21] We had beer.

[00:14:23] I've never seen anybody work as hard as the people in Detroit.

[00:14:26] Every single person when I was coming up through the clubs, the servers,

[00:14:29] the bartenders, they all had three jobs, all of them.

[00:14:31] And they thought nothing of it.

[00:14:32] And they just work and work and work.

[00:14:34] That's why I was so happy to see the draft in Detroit.

[00:14:36] And then boom, there's 775,000 down people downtown.

[00:14:41] That's a miracle compared to 20 years ago.

[00:14:43] I mean, it's an actual miracle because 25 years ago they used to sell a magnet

[00:14:49] in the airport that said Detroit, the Renaissance city.

[00:14:52] And I used to take it on stage and I'm like, I'm not sure you're there yet

[00:14:56] guys, but neither St.

[00:14:58] Louis, like I get it, but I was making, but now it kind of is

[00:15:01] they grew into their slogan.

[00:15:03] So that's another thing.

[00:15:05] Say it and it will become true.

[00:15:07] They sure as shit did it.

[00:15:09] But those shows were great.

[00:15:10] Um, and then it was back to, back to the Ozarks, but, uh, it

[00:15:14] was a nice little reprieve.

[00:15:16] And then I had to go to LA after, well, they have Detroit style pizza.

[00:15:21] Now people on the East coast will always be offended.

[00:15:24] So will Chicago people.

[00:15:25] And so will St.

[00:15:26] Louis people who prefer EMOs, which is very different than any other pizza.

[00:15:30] My friend Brian hates it.

[00:15:31] He's like, he's like, you just had to grow up at this shit, Maddie.

[00:15:34] Nobody else likes it.

[00:15:35] I'm like, yeah, other people do.

[00:15:36] It's just you because you have the palette of a four year old.

[00:15:40] It's thin.

[00:15:41] Um, but the Detroit style is thick, um, squares and it's delicious.

[00:15:46] So it's got a very thick corner.

[00:15:49] I like the crust.

[00:15:50] It's a little, um, it's a little extra thick, but it's delicious.

[00:15:56] So if you're ever in Detroit, get their pizza, try it.

[00:15:58] That's my, that's my pitch on that.

[00:16:01] Then I had to go to LA.

[00:16:02] Um, but before I even talk about the shows, cause it's

[00:16:04] what am I drinking?

[00:16:05] Um, this is, um, they call me Roberto this beer, but this is how great Delta is.

[00:16:13] I know I always brag about Delta.

[00:16:15] It's the employees mostly.

[00:16:17] Yeah.

[00:16:17] I mean, their planes probably could fall apart in the air too.

[00:16:20] I don't know who's making what, but I mean, I'm not, I don't

[00:16:22] know about the actual airplane.

[00:16:24] Although I did get one of the new ones going out to LA and worth the

[00:16:29] weight, worth the weight.

[00:16:31] Oh, so fancy.

[00:16:32] Um, but I got, I was like, you know what, dad, we've all had a rough year.

[00:16:37] I'm talking to him when he's dead now going just, could you just make things easy?

[00:16:41] Like I don't need any special perks.

[00:16:44] Just don't can't, I can't handle a canceled flight right now.

[00:16:47] I can't handle, oh, we don't have any real cars.

[00:16:50] Can't do it.

[00:16:51] Well, I got on the flight leaving LA and then to come back to Nashville

[00:16:56] and there's a flight attendant.

[00:16:57] Uh, I won't say, I don't know if I should say her name.

[00:17:00] Okay.

[00:17:00] Well, her name's Laura, but there's a lot of Laura's.

[00:17:02] So if somebody's getting, going to get in trouble, you have to call all the

[00:17:05] Laura's in, but she shouldn't get in trouble because it was so nice.

[00:17:10] I know her and she read the manifest and saw that I was going to be on the

[00:17:14] flight and was there.

[00:17:16] I got on the plane.

[00:17:17] It's six in the morning.

[00:17:18] I slept two hours.

[00:17:19] That was it after the show and then go to the airport, blah, blah,

[00:17:22] return around car and, uh, she was like, Kathleen.

[00:17:27] And I was like, Oh my God.

[00:17:28] She's like, I already put a screwdriver on your seat.

[00:17:31] I'm like, thank you.

[00:17:32] Yay.

[00:17:32] Yay.

[00:17:32] Yay.

[00:17:33] Yay.

[00:17:33] And then she said, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.

[00:17:35] And then she left me, um, a note and then put, uh, she, there was a bag

[00:17:40] with Cheez-Its and my Herboo Bears.

[00:17:43] Yeah.

[00:17:43] Which pair well with screwdrivers and this beer, which is her friend's,

[00:17:47] um, uh, it's called the Mason jar brewing company and it's her.

[00:17:52] I guess she knows these people who, who make it, which is pretty awesome.

[00:17:56] Well, they're yeah, it's Roberto.

[00:17:58] And, uh, I can't read it.

[00:17:59] It's too tiny.

[00:18:00] Um, but anyway, there you go.

[00:18:03] Delta.

[00:18:04] She's all excited to, when do you ever get on a flight?

[00:18:06] Well, actually I get on a lot of flights where they're excited to see me if

[00:18:09] they're based out of Nashville, cause they just see me every week and then

[00:18:11] they're used to me and the, yeah, where's your show this weekend?

[00:18:16] Like, you don't want to know.

[00:18:18] Um, no, but it was actually fun.

[00:18:21] I don't love Los Angeles.

[00:18:22] I've said that a million times.

[00:18:23] I loved my 10 years in her most of beach, but you know, I was in my 20s.

[00:18:28] So you love everything and a bunch of comedians lived at the beach and we all

[00:18:31] went to the comedy magic club and ate for free, which was lovely.

[00:18:33] Thank you, Mike.

[00:18:34] And thank you, Richard.

[00:18:35] Um, good food.

[00:18:37] What?

[00:18:39] Oh, I did a bunch of podcasts.

[00:18:40] I did Leanne Chrysher.

[00:18:41] That's Bert Chrysher's wife.

[00:18:42] It's called the wife of the party.

[00:18:44] She's super fun.

[00:18:45] Pete Holmes, which was probably, um, one of my favorite things I've done

[00:18:49] all in, in ever of a podcast.

[00:18:53] He's so smart and he's so fun.

[00:18:56] And then I did one called comedy bang bang.

[00:18:58] I guess people know it.

[00:18:59] I didn't know the people.

[00:19:01] Um, it was fine.

[00:19:03] It's fun.

[00:19:04] Um, but it's just more fun if you, oh, and Greg Fitzsimmons, his

[00:19:07] is called Fitz dog, something I think as they come out, I'll tell

[00:19:10] you when they come out, if you care to listen, um, he's my old friend.

[00:19:14] So it's just more fun when it's an old friend versus there's just a

[00:19:17] bunch of people I don't know.

[00:19:19] People who will interview you.

[00:19:21] Well, there was some improv at the end and I'm not particularly good at that.

[00:19:25] And alcohol for that.

[00:19:27] Yeah.

[00:19:28] Everybody else had a beer.

[00:19:30] There was none at company bang bang, but I also didn't ask, but it

[00:19:35] was early in the morning.

[00:19:35] I thought it would have looked like an alcoholic, so I didn't do that.

[00:19:40] Um, and then, uh, the Grove and Anaheim is so fun.

[00:19:43] And the opener this past weekend, if you were in the

[00:19:45] college shows was Andy Hendrickson.

[00:19:48] A lot of people really liked him.

[00:19:49] He's got two jokes that I wish I would have thought of.

[00:19:51] I wanted to steal them.

[00:19:52] I will not, I'm not a thief, but, um, so funny.

[00:19:55] Uh, people were asking online on social media.

[00:19:59] So who was that?

[00:19:59] Um, uh, thousand Oaks.

[00:20:03] I did that.

[00:20:04] That's outside of LA.

[00:20:05] Well, so is Anaheim, but God, they're about the same distance.

[00:20:12] Well, yeah, there's a lot of Disney fans out there.

[00:20:16] There's a lot of adults with, you know, to each his own.

[00:20:21] I do know people that are into that.

[00:20:24] I didn't like it as a child.

[00:20:26] I mean, I'm sure not going to come around now.

[00:20:28] No, we all went, my dad piled us all in the station wagon, but he

[00:20:32] drove down to Florida and explained to us for at least an hour how Walt

[00:20:38] Disney was an anti-Semite.

[00:20:39] And then I had to learn what that was and that he was really siding

[00:20:43] with Hitler and we shouldn't be giving him money, but, but, but he has captured,

[00:20:50] you know, all the children in America.

[00:20:51] So we have to go because my youngest sister was like five and she was going

[00:20:55] to have a fucking meltdown if we didn't whose castle is it?

[00:20:58] Snow White's or Cinderella's Cinderella's castle.

[00:21:02] Then we got in there.

[00:21:03] This is way back.

[00:21:04] So I don't know if it's the same.

[00:21:06] And it was a 45 minute wait.

[00:21:07] So there are just five year olds losing it.

[00:21:10] And I thought, you know what?

[00:21:12] How about you get five Cinderella's jackasses?

[00:21:15] We don't need just one in the restaurant that we can't get in.

[00:21:18] And the kid knows it's in there.

[00:21:19] Oh my God, Cinderella's in there that she's unraveling.

[00:21:23] I don't know.

[00:21:24] I, I, well, I don't even want to ride rides anymore, but if I did want

[00:21:29] to ride rides, I would just go to like a Six Flags.

[00:21:33] Yeah.

[00:21:34] But I was never a cartoon person.

[00:21:36] So I'm not the person to speak into about all this clearly.

[00:21:39] It's I can't believe it's open till midnight.

[00:21:41] We left my show and I said to my friend Bob, Bob and Clark came.

[00:21:45] I talk about them all the time.

[00:21:47] What are these people walking around Anaheim for?

[00:21:50] He's like, well, they're dizzy people.

[00:21:51] I'm like, how late is it open?

[00:21:53] That's crazy.

[00:21:55] I would have thought at the latest 10.

[00:21:58] I know midnight.

[00:22:01] I said, is there alcohol in there?

[00:22:02] I haven't been in there since my nephew Pat was like, I don't even know.

[00:22:06] 12.

[00:22:09] And he said, yeah, I would just think there'd be fights and stuff by midnight.

[00:22:15] No, he said there's problems.

[00:22:17] That's what Bobby said.

[00:22:19] That's what little Bobby said.

[00:22:24] Yeah.

[00:22:25] And two of the assistants from the agency came out, Franny and Maggie.

[00:22:28] I love the children because they're in their twenties.

[00:22:30] They're so excited.

[00:22:31] They got free parking.

[00:22:32] Like it's so easy to make people in their twenties happy.

[00:22:36] And then there's free food and beer and stuff backstage.

[00:22:39] They're just happy because life hasn't jaded them yet.

[00:22:43] I just said, thanks for making the drive out here because they live in town,

[00:22:46] like in, you know, in town somewhere.

[00:22:49] And they were like, the ones like, I was just excited because I've never been here.

[00:22:52] I thought, oh my God, I've been here.

[00:22:54] I don't even know.

[00:22:56] 197,000 times.

[00:22:58] And every time I make the drive out, I pick the wrong time and go,

[00:23:01] God damn it.

[00:23:01] I should have left at 10 a.m.

[00:23:03] There's no excuse.

[00:23:03] I'm just sitting there doing nothing.

[00:23:05] I should have got off my ass.

[00:23:06] Blah, blah, blah.

[00:23:07] But yeah.

[00:23:08] And then I'm like, this is why 70 year old men date 20 year olds.

[00:23:11] It's just so easy to make them happy.

[00:23:13] Here's a hamburger.

[00:23:14] Shut up.

[00:23:15] Is it free?

[00:23:16] Yep.

[00:23:18] I am a wizard.

[00:23:19] That hamburger is free.

[00:23:21] They're so smart.

[00:23:22] It's so fun.

[00:23:23] They were just a blast.

[00:23:24] So thanks everybody.

[00:23:26] Those shows were sold out, which was great.

[00:23:29] The potluck A&I people, every time you work the Grove, it's in the same parking

[00:23:33] lot as the Angels Stadium.

[00:23:34] I guess the Angels are really bad this year, really, really, really bad.

[00:23:37] As bad as the Cardinals.

[00:23:38] Yeah.

[00:23:39] Fred Bird should be turned around while my cord goes through there.

[00:23:41] Or I'm going to put a black cover over Fred Bird until the Cardinals can do better.

[00:23:47] They have to get over 500.

[00:23:49] Yeah.

[00:23:52] Thousand Oaks was great.

[00:23:53] It was sold out.

[00:23:55] And then here's where I'm going to be going.

[00:23:56] Then we're going to get to it.

[00:24:01] Oh, well, my agent came.

[00:24:03] Heidi and brought her daughter.

[00:24:04] And my agent never comes because I always say there's no need.

[00:24:07] They have to go to everything.

[00:24:09] And then there's all the comedians that are crazy and they have to go manage

[00:24:13] the bullshit and like take a night off.

[00:24:15] I don't give a shit.

[00:24:16] I'll do my act to you over the phone.

[00:24:18] Do you want to hear my new jokes?

[00:24:19] Like my dad would always go, could your front load the new jokes a week?

[00:24:21] Your mother and I could go gamble.

[00:24:24] And Bronson from the ages he came to.

[00:24:25] He's super fun.

[00:24:27] But I always tell him, you don't have to come.

[00:24:28] I don't need hand holding.

[00:24:30] Um, but she came anyway.

[00:24:33] Her daughter's adorable.

[00:24:35] Yeah.

[00:24:35] Um, it was super fun.

[00:24:37] So anyway, here's where I'm going this summer.

[00:24:40] There's going to be a lot of makeup days because the Jackalope, um, thanks

[00:24:44] to everybody who held on to tickets and all that Detroit was great.

[00:24:46] Both of them were still sold out.

[00:24:48] I don't know what happened, but everybody made it back.

[00:24:50] So June 8th, West Hampton, New York.

[00:24:53] I love to be able to say I'll be something in the Hamptons just for one

[00:24:56] night, but I'll be something in the Hamptons.

[00:24:58] June 16th, Charles Allen, West Virginia.

[00:25:00] June 29th, Portland, Maine.

[00:25:01] Can't wait going early.

[00:25:03] Um, July 19th and 20th, Borgata.

[00:25:06] Twice.

[00:25:06] I love that place.

[00:25:10] Uh, July 26th, San Antonio, Texas.

[00:25:14] Can't wait to go to Rosario's.

[00:25:15] July 27th, Austin, Texas.

[00:25:17] Where?

[00:25:18] I'll be at Manchal Rancho, Matt's El Rancho having a margatini.

[00:25:22] Delicious.

[00:25:22] Yes.

[00:25:24] Uh, August 2nd, Marietta, Georgia.

[00:25:26] Uh, these are yeah.

[00:25:28] August 3rd, Cincinnati.

[00:25:29] August 10th, Niagara Falls.

[00:25:32] Yeah, that's great.

[00:25:34] The Canadian side, the red boat side.

[00:25:37] In case you're wondering when you go under those falls, the blue boat is

[00:25:40] the American people side anyway.

[00:25:42] Red boat, Canadian side.

[00:25:45] Uh, August 24th, New Hampton, uh, Hampton beach, not New Hampshire.

[00:25:50] That's why I was saying New.

[00:25:51] Yeah.

[00:25:52] August 30th and 31st, the Venetian Las Vegas at Slavery Day weekend.

[00:25:57] I believe my mom is be, and my mom is fine by the way.

[00:25:59] Everybody was asking how's your mom.

[00:26:00] She's doing very good.

[00:26:01] I think she was extremely tired from a year of dealing with, well longer, but

[00:26:06] she's ready to gamble.

[00:26:07] She's, she's signing up for the, um, August 30 and 31st Venetian deal.

[00:26:14] Um, and then just as an aside, these were, I think from Detroit.

[00:26:18] I can't know California, Anaheim.

[00:26:21] These, uh, Jeff and Megan created these pub, pub guest buttons.

[00:26:25] Ready?

[00:26:30] Yeah.

[00:26:31] And then this one's a little harder to hear, but it's the Holy shit.

[00:26:34] I found it one.

[00:26:40] Those made me laugh really hard.

[00:26:42] All right, we're moving on big news.

[00:26:45] Big queen King news.

[00:26:47] Big queen news.

[00:26:48] We're going to start with the court has been active.

[00:26:50] The court has been extremely active.

[00:26:52] The women are out running around Tanya and I may get to meet her.

[00:26:58] Maybe she is going to go down to nudies.

[00:27:03] That's a strip club.

[00:27:04] That's a bar.

[00:27:05] It's not a strip club.

[00:27:06] It's a bar right on Broadway in Nashville.

[00:27:08] And every time my nephews see the billboard, it's just a giant, hilarious breakout.

[00:27:13] They can't believe some places get this when they were little or called nudies.

[00:27:16] But she is getting a pop-up bar on the second floor and a friend of mine, uh,

[00:27:23] is her godchild and invited me to go.

[00:27:25] So I don't usually want to meet famous people, but I do want, I wanted

[00:27:30] to see the bar anyway, and she seems like she might be fun.

[00:27:33] So I'll let you guys know how that works.

[00:27:35] And I think she should get her pop-up bar for more than a month.

[00:27:38] I mean, the fucking jaws has two months.

[00:27:42] I mean, and I love jaws and I love a shark pop-up bar, but come on.

[00:27:45] Why can't we?

[00:27:46] It's just one floor.

[00:27:48] It's for her tequila.

[00:27:49] She's in business with Costa salvage or I don't know how to say it.

[00:27:53] Salvage.

[00:27:54] Am I saying it right?

[00:27:56] Feel like everyone has a tequila, but hers is actually very good.

[00:28:00] I did taste it.

[00:28:00] It's thick.

[00:28:01] It's very, very thick.

[00:28:03] Um, and then, so that's hopefully, I don't know, but even if I don't get to meet

[00:28:07] her, I'm going for sure.

[00:28:09] Um, cause I want to see the bar and then, um, down at nudies.

[00:28:15] Yeah.

[00:28:15] I'm surprised nudies has made it this far.

[00:28:17] I would think nudies would have, um, been replaced by now.

[00:28:22] No offense to nudies, but you know, the older ones keep going down

[00:28:25] and then they put up, you know, it's so-and-so's and so-and-so's and

[00:28:28] so-and-so's, um, it is next to Garth's new bar.

[00:28:31] It is next to Garth's, which I need to revisit because apparently I was there

[00:28:35] when it wasn't really done.

[00:28:37] I don't know.

[00:28:38] I, I'll give them, I'll give them a say.

[00:28:41] Well, I don't know.

[00:28:42] Me and my cousin Mike and Connie went in and we went down on

[00:28:45] New Year's Eve day, we went day drinking and like, Mike's not,

[00:28:50] he's the least picky guy ever on earth.

[00:28:53] He's like, these beers are hot.

[00:28:54] Aren't they?

[00:28:55] I go, yeah.

[00:28:56] Hot beer.

[00:28:58] I don't know.

[00:28:59] It just didn't, they didn't say, I will give it a second chance

[00:29:02] because I love Trisha.

[00:29:04] Okay.

[00:29:04] Yes.

[00:29:05] Um, and it did look, I watched a bit of the show.

[00:29:09] There's a show about it and I watched a bit of it and it looks

[00:29:12] cooler than I remember, so I'm going to give it a chance number two.

[00:29:17] Yeah.

[00:29:17] There's an Amazon show about them building the bar.

[00:29:20] Yeah.

[00:29:21] You'll see it.

[00:29:22] It's a lot of Garth as one would expect.

[00:29:24] He is likable though.

[00:29:29] I'll give him that.

[00:29:30] Um, so Tay Tay, there's been a lot going on and Queen Stevie right there.

[00:29:40] Taylor Swift features hidden Stevie Nicks poem on her new

[00:29:43] torch, tortured poets department album.

[00:29:47] The torture post.

[00:29:48] I listened to the album in a car.

[00:29:50] Uh-huh.

[00:29:51] Um, B plus.

[00:29:55] B plus.

[00:29:56] I get it.

[00:29:57] The post songs.

[00:29:59] The post Malone song is good.

[00:30:00] I just, a lot of them sound too similar.

[00:30:04] I know I'm going to get in trouble from the Tay Tay people.

[00:30:06] Please withhold your comments.

[00:30:09] It doesn't mean I'm not impartial.

[00:30:11] I will say it out loud.

[00:30:12] There was a Stevie Nicks CD called street angel.

[00:30:14] I threw it out of moon roof that, I mean, sometimes you just don't nail it.

[00:30:21] It was like she didn't have a producer or something.

[00:30:23] It was just weird.

[00:30:25] Now that doesn't mean I still don't love Stevie and I might go

[00:30:28] see Stevie here in Nashville too.

[00:30:30] Yeah.

[00:30:30] Now that I can make plans again and not worry about what am I going

[00:30:33] to do with this shit if I can't go?

[00:30:35] Um, anyway, Stevie Penn, the poem titled for T and me in Austin, Texas.

[00:30:42] The poem is a special hidden treat for those who bought the physical

[00:30:45] copies of the inside of the casing of the album or the insert of the vinyl.

[00:30:50] The Fleetwood Mac singer details two ill-fated lovers in the poem that

[00:30:55] starts out he was in love with her.

[00:30:57] At least she thought so she was brokenhearted.

[00:31:01] Maybe he was too.

[00:31:02] Neither of them knew my Stevie's not, well, I was going to say my

[00:31:07] Stevie's now starting to sound like an alien.

[00:31:09] The poem continued.

[00:31:10] She was way too hard to handle.

[00:31:12] He was way too high to try.

[00:31:14] He couldn't even see her.

[00:31:16] He wouldn't open his eyes.

[00:31:17] Oh, see, this is why you don't read Stevie stuff.

[00:31:22] You just listen.

[00:31:23] Um, she was writing about a failed.

[00:31:27] Really?

[00:31:29] Oh, here's some more.

[00:31:31] Ready?

[00:31:32] She was on her way to the stars.

[00:31:34] He didn't say goodbye.

[00:31:35] She looked back from her future and she shed a few tears.

[00:31:39] He looked into his past and actually felt fear.

[00:31:42] It continued for both of them.

[00:31:44] The answers would never be ever clear.

[00:31:47] Don't ask questions.

[00:31:48] Do that later.

[00:31:49] She brings joy.

[00:31:50] He brings Shakespeare.

[00:31:52] Mm hmm.

[00:31:53] Oh, that's Lindsay.

[00:31:54] Right.

[00:31:55] He's the intellectual one in the group.

[00:31:58] It's almost a tragedy.

[00:31:59] She says, don't endanger me.

[00:32:01] Don't endanger me.

[00:32:02] He really can't answer her as again.

[00:32:05] I have no idea what any of that means, but if Stevie sings it, I'm

[00:32:09] down with it.

[00:32:10] Oh, it ends with here's how it ends.

[00:32:12] She was just flying through the clouds where he saw her.

[00:32:15] She was just making her way to the stars when he lost her.

[00:32:20] Yep.

[00:32:21] That's why I'm never going to be a songwriter.

[00:32:22] What am I supposed to do with that?

[00:32:24] Nope.

[00:32:25] That's just words to me.

[00:32:26] Anyway, if you get the physical copy of Taytay's thing, there

[00:32:30] you go.

[00:32:31] You can see the secret poem.

[00:32:33] Um, yeah, excellent.

[00:32:35] And Taytay is with, was out with Travis in Las Vegas.

[00:32:40] Yep.

[00:32:41] They're still together.

[00:32:43] Still having fun.

[00:32:45] Is there an over under?

[00:32:46] Yep.

[00:32:49] It's secret.

[00:32:50] That's a secret over under.

[00:32:51] I don't know.

[00:32:52] King news.

[00:32:54] Jelly roll.

[00:32:56] Who do I love?

[00:32:57] Jelly roll.

[00:32:59] After music city native, J jelly roll announced his desire in

[00:33:02] 2022 to commit to nearly a half a million dollars to programs in

[00:33:06] aiding incarcerated and underserved youth in Nashville.

[00:33:09] The award winning and chart topping pop and rocks are his program is

[00:33:13] reality.

[00:33:14] The facility is housed in the Davidson County juvenile detention center.

[00:33:17] That's my county, which has Jolly roll noted while performing at

[00:33:20] Nissan stadium is directly across from the Cumberland river and behind

[00:33:24] the juvenile cart building next to the stadium's parking lot.

[00:33:28] Um, he has opened, um, a recording studio for the children.

[00:33:34] Yeah.

[00:33:35] For the incarcerated kids.

[00:33:37] Um, the studio we put in juvenile will continue to be a work in

[00:33:41] progress.

[00:33:42] We want more resources, more equipment and continuing programs to

[00:33:44] maximize what could be offered.

[00:33:46] The milestone of getting to have it officially open and have the

[00:33:50] support of the mayor and everyone involved is something I don't take

[00:33:52] for granted and we can keep it going.

[00:33:54] Yeah.

[00:33:55] Great.

[00:33:55] So good for him doing something good local.

[00:33:59] Dolly always says start local Dolly, by the way, with the mouse ears

[00:34:05] on, uh, there's a thing for country music, uh, CMA Fest.

[00:34:10] That's a June shindig that goes on here.

[00:34:14] It's a big deal, but they have this thing called fanfare, which is kind

[00:34:18] of old school, it's a lot of radio stations and stuff.

[00:34:21] Dolly is going to be down there singing a song or two, but they

[00:34:24] don't really say what time and that shit starts at nine 30 in the morning.

[00:34:27] Yeah, I can't.

[00:34:28] Oh, we're going.

[00:34:29] I'm going to find out.

[00:34:30] I'm going to get, I'm going to call some secret people and find out.

[00:34:34] Yeah.

[00:34:35] I can't sit there all day.

[00:34:36] Um, so that's all for the queen news.

[00:34:39] And snoops been laying low.

[00:34:44] Yeah.

[00:34:45] I don't, he hasn't done anything.

[00:34:46] So update update.

[00:34:52] Who told you this is going to happen?

[00:34:54] Who told you, you heard her here on this first book for this podcast.

[00:34:58] King, uh, CNN's King Charles to end its run with no plan to King Charles.

[00:35:05] This is the show with, uh, Gail King and Charles Barclay.

[00:35:08] It ended last week with no plans to extend the limit.

[00:35:11] It's here.

[00:35:12] Right?

[00:35:13] It was terrible.

[00:35:14] Everybody's sick of Gail.

[00:35:16] Sorry, Gail, but you'd be, I'd be sick of me too.

[00:35:19] If I'm on all goddamn morning and then she pops up here, then she's on

[00:35:22] serious radio, then she's on at night.

[00:35:24] Nope.

[00:35:25] No.

[00:35:26] And you don't put them in an old studio.

[00:35:28] You don't make him dress up.

[00:35:30] You don't know this whole thing.

[00:35:33] You had Charles, you fucked up.

[00:35:36] Sorry.

[00:35:37] Gail stay in the morning.

[00:35:38] You've got 19 hours.

[00:35:39] I feel like those morning shows now, cause they offered me and I still want to do it,

[00:35:45] but it's good morning America the third hour, but it goes beyond that.

[00:35:50] Like, I guess people leave it on all day.

[00:35:52] I don't know.

[00:35:54] Or there's nothing else to put on in the day.

[00:35:55] That always used to be the problem.

[00:35:57] What do you put on in the day?

[00:35:58] Soap operas, game shows, talk shows.

[00:36:01] That's it.

[00:36:02] Or how about nothing?

[00:36:04] Just go back to the old blank screen where it's a test pattern.

[00:36:07] You won't lose money.

[00:36:08] Guarantee that it was getting a half million viewers for its debut, but it

[00:36:14] trailed its rivals in the time slot.

[00:36:16] It was announced as a limited run series to begin with featuring and Charles

[00:36:19] kept having to fly into New York to do this.

[00:36:21] No, Charles.

[00:36:22] Charles should have said no.

[00:36:24] I would have thought he would have said no.

[00:36:26] I'm looking at it going terrible idea.

[00:36:28] And then they, I think that got rid of that poppy lady in the morning.

[00:36:30] CNN.

[00:36:31] Nothing is working out.

[00:36:32] Who's ever in charge should be fired.

[00:36:34] Period.

[00:36:34] End of story.

[00:36:35] Update.

[00:36:39] The Tropicana demolition has begun in Las Vegas, but here's the good news.

[00:36:45] The casino stained glass ceiling.

[00:36:47] The thing I've been talking about for months is being carefully dismantled.

[00:36:51] Great.

[00:36:51] Yeah.

[00:36:52] And then Vital Vegas.

[00:36:54] I love Vital Vegas.

[00:36:55] It's a Twitter account.

[00:36:57] They're always funny, but never like snarky.

[00:37:00] They said we trust it will be kept in storage until the trop site becomes

[00:37:03] a shopping mall sometime in the future.

[00:37:06] But at least they're safe again.

[00:37:08] Yeah.

[00:37:09] So pretty.

[00:37:10] Update.

[00:37:13] This poor guy.

[00:37:14] Well, it's his own fault.

[00:37:17] Oklahoma judge orders Kansas City's chief super fan, the chief Zahalik to

[00:37:23] pay 10.8 million to bank teller.

[00:37:27] So if you missed a couple episodes, a while, while, while back, the chiefs

[00:37:32] had this super fan and he would dress like a wolf and he became extremely famous.

[00:37:37] Well, it turns out Mr.

[00:37:38] Wolf was robbing banks to get to go to the game.

[00:37:42] So he would rob the bank and then blah, blah, blah.

[00:37:45] Well, they then the wolf had to go on the run because they caught on.

[00:37:50] Yep.

[00:37:51] He had, he had assaulted teller with a gun.

[00:37:53] So he owes her 10.8 million dollars.

[00:37:56] And you know, the irony is the attorney tell it says the teller

[00:38:00] may never collect the money.

[00:38:01] A Tulsa judge handed down the order last week against Xavier Michael.

[00:38:06] Boobadar, 29 years old, who was known for attending chief's games dressed

[00:38:10] as a wolf in the NFL teams gear.

[00:38:13] Former bank teller Peyton Garcia alleged that he used a gun to assault her

[00:38:17] and the robbery of a Bixby Oklahoma credit union in December of 2022.

[00:38:23] Yep.

[00:38:24] He ordered her to pay 3.6 million for injuries and loss of income

[00:38:27] and 7.2 million impunity damage.

[00:38:30] Messages for the wolf's attorney could not be, were not returned immediately.

[00:38:35] I'm sure they're not going to be returned at all.

[00:38:37] You just sit on that one.

[00:38:40] Yeah, so he's in a lot of trouble.

[00:38:43] I don't remember what, oh, his sentencing is set for July 10th.

[00:38:47] He remains imprisoned until then.

[00:38:49] The chiefaholic.

[00:38:53] Yes.

[00:38:55] Update!

[00:38:58] Here's for the chiefsaholic.

[00:38:59] He got away with it for a while.

[00:39:03] He got to go to a lot of chief's games.

[00:39:08] When they were good, yeah, recently.

[00:39:11] So that Klimt painting I told you about,

[00:39:13] one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

[00:39:16] It sold, I told you it was going to be auctioned, 32 million.

[00:39:21] They thought it might go as high as 50.

[00:39:23] And my reasoning is here, if you really want this thing, which I would,

[00:39:26] and I get this except I don't want it in my house because now I got a higher,

[00:39:29] what do you get?

[00:39:29] Do you get security guards?

[00:39:30] I mean, somebody knows I have it.

[00:39:32] I bought it.

[00:39:34] Baby cat won't do shit.

[00:39:36] None of them do.

[00:39:38] Nothing.

[00:39:38] There's a black cat that now comes every day and eats lunch and they're like,

[00:39:41] hi!

[00:39:42] And they're kissing it and making out with it.

[00:39:43] I'm like, guys, I don't want to become the thing.

[00:39:47] And then there's a thing in Tennessee.

[00:39:50] It's like a lizard type thing called a skink.

[00:39:52] They look wet.

[00:39:53] They live in the earth.

[00:39:54] Well, Chapo gets them a lot.

[00:39:55] I don't know how he ferrets them out of the earth, but he does.

[00:39:58] And he'll eat the whole thing head to tail.

[00:40:00] He does.

[00:40:00] Yeah.

[00:40:01] So wonderful lunch.

[00:40:02] Then he usually throws it back up on the porch.

[00:40:06] Great.

[00:40:07] But I mean, yesterday they had one and the three of them couldn't deal with it.

[00:40:10] Chapo brought it up and then it was like a game.

[00:40:12] Let's catch it again.

[00:40:13] And the thing went right back in the earth.

[00:40:15] I'm like, you guys suck!

[00:40:16] And you live outside half your lives, at least half.

[00:40:19] Not maybe baby cat.

[00:40:21] I don't expect much from her.

[00:40:22] No.

[00:40:24] But she does know a lot about sports.

[00:40:25] She loves soccer.

[00:40:26] Soccer specifically.

[00:40:28] Yeah, she does.

[00:40:29] I think it's the ball.

[00:40:31] They were expecting 50 million.

[00:40:32] So if you had 32, somebody from Hong Kong, they weren't identified.

[00:40:39] Go look at the painting and put it in the schnotz.

[00:40:41] It's so colorful.

[00:40:42] It's beautiful.

[00:40:43] I would have paid more if I'd had more.

[00:40:45] Update!

[00:40:47] They were almost done with updates.

[00:40:49] Mark Zuckerberg's net worth plummets.

[00:40:52] Boom!

[00:40:53] Buy more than 18 billion in meta stock drop.

[00:40:56] When is he going to understand?

[00:40:59] First of all, I have an Android.

[00:41:02] Those of us that have Androids, we don't care about, most of us,

[00:41:11] the functions of the phone.

[00:41:12] No.

[00:41:13] No.

[00:41:13] I don't care that I'm green and I'm fucking up your threads.

[00:41:16] We all like that.

[00:41:18] Right.

[00:41:18] Like.

[00:41:18] And I'm never an anti-person.

[00:41:20] It's just the phone I like.

[00:41:21] It's not my fault.

[00:41:23] Elizabeth Warren came out.

[00:41:24] Remember Elizabeth Warren who ran for president?

[00:41:26] She came out with a whole thing telling iPhone to quit making the Android people

[00:41:29] second class citizens.

[00:41:31] Yeah.

[00:41:31] He did that.

[00:41:32] I didn't do that.

[00:41:33] He did that.

[00:41:35] Well, the meta thing, I saw it on my phone the other day.

[00:41:40] It said ask meta anything.

[00:41:42] I don't have any questions.

[00:41:44] Really?

[00:41:44] No, I don't.

[00:41:46] And if I do, I'm asking the Google machine.

[00:41:48] I'm not asking.

[00:41:50] I don't even know what it is.

[00:41:52] Meta?

[00:41:52] Not really.

[00:41:53] I don't.

[00:41:55] What is it?

[00:41:57] I mean, I know it's his thing.

[00:41:59] Is it his power engine?

[00:42:01] Is that what we would call that?

[00:42:03] His engine train like in a car?

[00:42:07] Power engine.

[00:42:08] Search engine.

[00:42:09] Search engine.

[00:42:10] That's what I said the first time, your honor.

[00:42:12] I said search engine.

[00:42:16] CEOs of the company's earnings call sent its stock price to the steepest

[00:42:21] decline since October 2022.

[00:42:23] Nobody wants your dumb goggles.

[00:42:24] How many times do I have to say that?

[00:42:26] Nobody wants your...

[00:42:29] I don't understand.

[00:42:30] I would never, ever, ever.

[00:42:33] Although I will say at least Instagram, I feel runs like it used to run.

[00:42:40] Twitter is a mess and I know what he calls it.

[00:42:43] I refuse to say it, but whatever.

[00:42:45] I'm still calling it Twitter and I'd like the bird back, but that's not

[00:42:48] going to happen.

[00:42:49] Elon doesn't hear.

[00:42:50] No, they took away my check mark a while ago.

[00:42:54] I'm not buying that back.

[00:42:56] I mean, if it's just going to turn into a shit show, let it do it.

[00:43:01] The stock fell by 52 bucks on Thursday.

[00:43:05] I'm telling you, Meta Reality Labs division, which houses the hardware

[00:43:11] and software for developing the metaverse.

[00:43:13] Nobody talks about the metaverse.

[00:43:15] Nobody's going in the metaverse.

[00:43:16] Nobody wants to play in your weird fake world.

[00:43:18] Not yet.

[00:43:19] You haven't made it better than this world.

[00:43:22] You got to make it.

[00:43:23] I don't know.

[00:43:25] I mean, even the children that like the video games, I don't ever hear

[00:43:27] them talking about, oh, I was in the metaverse.

[00:43:30] It's posted a cumulative losses of 45 billion.

[00:43:33] Billion since 2020.

[00:43:35] They're going to spend another 35 billion on capital expenditures this

[00:43:39] year and increase from its prior forecast.

[00:43:42] I mean, okay, talk about sitting at a bad slot machine and just not

[00:43:46] getting it through your skull.

[00:43:47] The machine sucks and moving to another slot machine.

[00:43:49] He's just going to keep dumping money in it.

[00:43:51] Yep.

[00:43:53] Well, we'll see.

[00:43:54] You'll be updated.

[00:43:56] And before I get to a holy shit, we found it, which I have some good

[00:44:01] one, what are we watching?

[00:44:03] Because sometimes I forget that segment.

[00:44:05] Well, we are watching baby reindeer.

[00:44:12] I am done.

[00:44:13] I finished it.

[00:44:16] You guys have to go watch this.

[00:44:18] It's about a stock, a bartender.

[00:44:21] In England and a lady comes into the bar and she's kind of chubby and seems

[00:44:27] sort of awkward and he feels sorry for her.

[00:44:31] So he gives her a free cup of tea or whatever she's drinking.

[00:44:33] And even though she says she's a very, very prominent lawyer, well,

[00:44:37] this lady ends up being a stocker.

[00:44:38] Coincidentally, he also wants to be a standup comedian.

[00:44:41] Well, a comedian, an improv guy, I would say more.

[00:44:44] But as soon as they said that, I thought, oh no, here we go.

[00:44:48] I have never seen it portrayed so correctly ever.

[00:44:52] And they do the Edinburgh Comedy Festival and Lewis went there once

[00:44:56] with his friend, John.

[00:44:58] I won't say his last name in case he wouldn't want me to tell the story,

[00:45:00] but you sign up for a month at the.

[00:45:05] It's not like the Montreal Festival or the Kilkenny Cat Laughs Festival

[00:45:09] where you just do a week of shows and bars.

[00:45:11] This is a commitment and you have to have your own promoter.

[00:45:14] Everything you'll see in Baby Reindeer happened to Lewis and John.

[00:45:18] They didn't have any people, they didn't have a promoter.

[00:45:21] And if you don't have a good Scottish promoter or British promoter,

[00:45:24] it's really not for us.

[00:45:25] And I get that.

[00:45:26] Like the only person that I can think of, I'm sure there's more,

[00:45:29] but the one that comes to mind that's always done well there is Greg Proops.

[00:45:34] Because Greg is exceptionally smart,

[00:45:37] way smarter than the average comic and also odd in a great way.

[00:45:41] I love him, but he's meant for that.

[00:45:44] Like my kind of comedy is not really meant for that.

[00:45:47] It's it's fringe stuff.

[00:45:49] It's out on the fringe.

[00:45:51] Well, anyway, they did that part really well.

[00:45:54] I mean, Lewis called crying at one point and he would be

[00:45:58] comfortable with me saying that.

[00:45:59] And they took all these T-shirts.

[00:46:01] None of us had any money back then.

[00:46:02] And he was going to sell shirts.

[00:46:04] Well, you don't have anybody at your show.

[00:46:05] I don't know who you're going to.

[00:46:06] You're just going to go on the street.

[00:46:07] And so it was just they had the worst time ever.

[00:46:11] And then, well, I won't even say, but John had a meltdown.

[00:46:14] There were meltdowns going on left and right.

[00:46:16] And I'm like, can't you quit?

[00:46:18] And there's like a base pay, but it's minimal.

[00:46:20] It's like a per diem type deal.

[00:46:22] He's like, no, if you quit, you don't get the money you were promised.

[00:46:26] So they had to stay for a month.

[00:46:28] I know it's good for the the the people over there,

[00:46:33] like the Brits and the Scottish, it's good for them.

[00:46:35] Or even the Irish do fine, I'm sure.

[00:46:38] Aussies, they do good.

[00:46:39] But Americans and Canadian, well, Mike Wilmot could do it

[00:46:42] because he's a Canadian who works in England half of his life.

[00:46:45] So he gets the thing. He gets it.

[00:46:47] But anyway, baby reindeer.

[00:46:50] This stalker lady.

[00:46:54] And then Lewis was like, I don't know who's crazy or him or her.

[00:46:57] I'm like, she looks and appears mentally ill.

[00:47:01] The bartender guy is living in both worlds.

[00:47:04] He's sane enough to have his job.

[00:47:05] He's trying to be a comedian.

[00:47:07] He's older.

[00:47:10] But yet he's participating with the stalker every time he's finally going to

[00:47:14] wait till you see it.

[00:47:15] And it's the man in the movie is the man who wrote it.

[00:47:18] But then I'm going to have an article next week and I'm going to read it.

[00:47:20] So if you don't watch baby reindeer, you won't understand it.

[00:47:22] I'll tell you to fast forward if you didn't have time to watch baby reindeer.

[00:47:25] But if you can watch baby reindeer and I have no vested interest at all.

[00:47:30] I don't know anybody in the movie.

[00:47:31] I got nothing except for the fact

[00:47:34] they portray the Edinburgh Festival.

[00:47:37] But this guy, though, I wouldn't call him a standup comic.

[00:47:40] I don't know what I would call him.

[00:47:41] I'd call him an improv guy.

[00:47:43] But like he's a prop guy, too.

[00:47:45] And I said to Lewis, see people my whole life, I've defended Carrot Top.

[00:47:49] And this is what it's like if you're not good like Carrot Top like this.

[00:47:54] It was terrible. He's terrible when he first starts.

[00:47:56] It just doesn't make any sense.

[00:47:58] He gets a little better.

[00:47:59] You'll see. But the stalking thing.

[00:48:02] And then I have a real story about somebody else.

[00:48:05] This lady's stalked and now she's saying she's being bullied.

[00:48:08] I mean, don't even get me started. Right.

[00:48:10] No, you should be known to everyone because you shouldn't.

[00:48:13] I won't tell you what happens to her.

[00:48:14] But what happened to her is not what should have happened to her.

[00:48:17] They should have done something else, but they didn't.

[00:48:20] Yeah. Anyway, that's what and I'm watching the hockey playoffs.

[00:48:26] Go Preds.

[00:48:28] P.S. There's a lot of hockey games on if you're interested.

[00:48:32] And it was kind of nice because out west, the time zone.

[00:48:35] I don't know how people in the East Coast survive sports.

[00:48:38] I would have to call in sick to work every day and say, I'll be sick till 1030.

[00:48:42] I can't. I stayed up till one in the fucking morning.

[00:48:45] The hockey game last night in Central Time Zone went to midnight.

[00:48:48] I'm like, it's 1 a.m. on the East Coast.

[00:48:50] These people have to be at work at the same time we do.

[00:48:52] It's ridiculous. They should have some sort of

[00:48:56] say so or something.

[00:48:57] Yeah, it's not fair to them.

[00:48:59] They're not watching the Canucks.

[00:49:01] Well, real hockey fans are.

[00:49:04] Yeah. And I tried to finish Palm Royale.

[00:49:09] I'm trying because now I'm so fucking far into it.

[00:49:12] I'm like, I better.

[00:49:13] It just keeps getting dumber and dumber and dumber and dumber.

[00:49:16] And what a waste of Carol Burnett and Alison Janie.

[00:49:21] Is that her name? Alison Jenning?

[00:49:22] I don't Jenny. She's awesome.

[00:49:26] Yeah, I can't anyway.

[00:49:29] An animal that was expatriated.

[00:49:32] This is holy shit, they found it.

[00:49:34] Again, again. OK.

[00:49:36] Well, I'll do it with this one.

[00:49:42] Oh, wonderful.

[00:49:43] An animal that was ex.

[00:49:46] No, not I can't even say that word.

[00:49:51] Well, it was an animal that was no longer in Ohio for 200 years.

[00:49:58] Well, it's back in Ohio.

[00:50:00] Just in Ohio. OK.

[00:50:02] Yeah. Every state gets something special every now and then.

[00:50:04] We got to work on that word.

[00:50:06] I can't I can't.

[00:50:08] Ash Tabula County, Ohio.

[00:50:10] Excellent. Yep.

[00:50:12] No idea.

[00:50:12] An animal that hasn't been seen in Ohio for nearly 200 years is back.

[00:50:16] The Fisher and it's not small.

[00:50:21] It's a member of the Weasel family.

[00:50:22] It's been spotted recently in that county.

[00:50:25] They said it was rooted out or completely destroyed 200 years ago.

[00:50:30] Clearly not.

[00:50:32] A retired veterinarian and owner of the Snowy Oak Tree Farm

[00:50:37] found the animal in his driveway.

[00:50:39] Yeah, he was stunned to see it had been hit by a car.

[00:50:43] I said, wow, this is a Fisher Fisher right here in my driveway.

[00:50:47] Fortunately, she'd been hit on the road

[00:50:48] and she was before she was able to give birth.

[00:50:51] Just the fact that she was in the state and pregnant

[00:50:53] is a positive sign for the potential future of the species in Ohio.

[00:50:59] Since his discovery, others have been spotted on the trail

[00:51:01] on trail cams by the Ohio Division of Wildlife.

[00:51:04] It's kind of cute.

[00:51:05] I don't know if they cause problems, but weasels don't really cause problems.

[00:51:10] Kind of like a fox.

[00:51:11] They don't cause any shit.

[00:51:13] Oh, well, it is a predator who hunts small animals like mice and squirrels.

[00:51:18] Oh, well, it can pose a threat to small dogs, cats, chickens

[00:51:21] and even some livestock.

[00:51:23] There's also a potential for conflict with livestock.

[00:51:25] Fishers tend to want to stay away from areas where people are,

[00:51:29] so we don't expect it'll be a big problem.

[00:51:30] Just make sure your livestock is closed up at night to be good.

[00:51:33] I don't see how this size of an animal can take down a cow.

[00:51:38] Miao. Baby cat disagrees.

[00:51:40] She don't like that.

[00:51:41] Miao. Maybe she's seen one.

[00:51:44] I don't know if they're in Tennessee or Missouri.

[00:51:47] I don't know why she doesn't like when the podcast goes too long.

[00:51:53] She doesn't like it.

[00:51:54] She wants attention.

[00:51:56] She wants me to come over there and do something.

[00:51:58] I don't know.

[00:51:59] Oh, well, she doesn't have a treat this morning.

[00:52:01] Watch that. Do you want a treat?

[00:52:07] She's waiting by the steps.

[00:52:09] Yeah, that's what she's like.

[00:52:11] Holy shit, they might have found it.

[00:52:14] With an X-Trix.

[00:52:16] It's a mite, but I think it is.

[00:52:18] Intrigue Banksy like artwork found in Cambridge

[00:52:21] Shire as landowners look for answers.

[00:52:24] And it's two little children.

[00:52:27] And in typical Banksy style,

[00:52:29] they're throwing a gun in the air, an automatic,

[00:52:33] like an automatic, what do you call it?

[00:52:35] An AR-17 or something, a rifle.

[00:52:38] And I think it's supposed to be Gaza.

[00:52:40] You know, it's saying we've got children just fighting.

[00:52:44] He always tries to make a little point there.

[00:52:47] A possible banksy.

[00:52:48] The artwork was discovered on a wall in Eli.

[00:52:52] Landowners Claire and Carl Raysbeck say they believe

[00:52:57] the intriguing work was linked to the escalating conflict.

[00:52:59] Oh, in Ukraine.

[00:53:00] Oh, I thought it was Gaza.

[00:53:01] It shows a silhouette of a boy and a girl apparently playing

[00:53:04] catch with a gun.

[00:53:05] Another another one was found in Cambridge, Wolfston Way.

[00:53:08] In February, the artist is known for his murals.

[00:53:11] They said they're now interested in learning more about the art piece.

[00:53:13] He had been in contact with Pest Control Banksy's representatives.

[00:53:18] Oh, I didn't know he had reps.

[00:53:19] So you can call somebody to verify whether it was real.

[00:53:24] He didn't say it wasn't a Banksy.

[00:53:26] He just said they don't verify them.

[00:53:30] That's too bad because people are going to wreck them if you don't.

[00:53:33] But maybe he doesn't care.

[00:53:36] He said he contact other artists in the area to find out whether

[00:53:38] they were behind the work and no one claimed that you will never know.

[00:53:41] But it'd be quite cool if it was Banksy.

[00:53:43] Yeah, I wouldn't wreck it.

[00:53:45] It's kind of awesome anyway.

[00:53:46] Whoever did it.

[00:53:47] I mean, I'm sure there's copycats now.

[00:53:50] He's Banksy, you know, but you'd also have to be a good artist

[00:53:53] and you'd have to do it under the cover of darkness.

[00:53:54] How are these people doing this thing?

[00:54:00] He said he and his wife are trying to decide what to do with the painting.

[00:54:03] They've covered it in the meantime.

[00:54:04] They're worried about somebody doing graffiti over it.

[00:54:06] He said they asked a specialist to come and remove it so they can put it in

[00:54:10] their garden, trying to decide what to do with it's a hard part.

[00:54:13] The couple have a lot of questions about the artwork.

[00:54:14] He said he hopes someone will come forward with the answers.

[00:54:17] Well, maybe somebody should.

[00:54:18] Yeah.

[00:54:19] Let them know or just go auction it off and say it is.

[00:54:24] Why not?

[00:54:25] We're moving on to news.

[00:54:28] Do you want to drive the planter mobile?

[00:54:31] Yes.

[00:54:32] I think it'd be very hard to parallel park.

[00:54:35] It's fat.

[00:54:35] It's very fat in the front, very wide, very fat in the back.

[00:54:39] The wiener mobile would be easier to drive, but this is funny, children.

[00:54:45] Planters needs to fill a new position.

[00:54:47] The job might the job might drive folks a bit nutty.

[00:54:51] Get it?

[00:54:52] Somebody's been waiting.

[00:54:54] Julia Gomez has been waiting.

[00:54:55] Oh, there's baby cat.

[00:54:57] You know, there's no treats up here.

[00:55:00] Nothing up here.

[00:55:02] The company is looking for three people to fill the position for a year.

[00:55:06] June 24 to June 25.

[00:55:07] The three lucky three will be affectionately known as the peanutters.

[00:55:12] Not only will they escort Mr.

[00:55:14] Peanut or across the country, they'll do so while driving.

[00:55:16] Oh, you get to ride with Mr.

[00:55:17] Peanut.

[00:55:18] You're escorting Mr.

[00:55:19] Peanut.

[00:55:20] You'll be it's a 26 foot long nutmobile and you'll be taking and going to

[00:55:25] planning events.

[00:55:26] We're thrilled to be taking applications for our third class of

[00:55:29] peanutters from being grand marshals of parades and making appearances at

[00:55:32] community events and grand openings.

[00:55:34] Our peanutters are fun loving ambassadors of the iconic iconic planners brand

[00:55:39] bringing him smiles and joy.

[00:55:40] I would love to see it.

[00:55:41] I've never seen it.

[00:55:41] I've seen the wiener mobile.

[00:55:42] I just saw it last week in California.

[00:55:45] I mean, there's probably many of them, but I've seen it.

[00:55:47] And Google, they'll tell us how many wiener mobiles are there?

[00:55:55] You think a secret?

[00:56:01] It's a rolling public relation firm on wheels.

[00:56:06] There's six.

[00:56:08] I've seen them a lot in my life.

[00:56:11] A hot dogger.

[00:56:12] Right.

[00:56:13] Here's what you need to meet this criteria.

[00:56:17] You have to have graduated with bachelor's degree preferably in

[00:56:21] communications, marketing, advertising, blah, blah, blah.

[00:56:23] Okay.

[00:56:23] I did that.

[00:56:24] A desire to travel.

[00:56:26] Yes.

[00:56:27] A valid driver's license.

[00:56:28] Yes, I have it.

[00:56:29] Strong organization and time management skills.

[00:56:37] I think that knocks me out the last one.

[00:56:39] And then you have to have a proficiency in nut related puns is a

[00:56:43] must.

[00:56:43] No, I hate puns.

[00:56:45] Now you also can't be allergic to peanuts.

[00:56:48] That's a deathly illness for some people.

[00:56:50] So if you apply, you need to be flexible.

[00:56:56] One day will be used as a travel day from location to location.

[00:56:59] Well, that's what I do every week.

[00:57:01] If the distance is not far, an event can be scheduled on this day.

[00:57:04] I don't like that.

[00:57:06] No, we don't schedule things on the travel days.

[00:57:08] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:57:11] The remainder of the four days would be used for a combination of

[00:57:13] scheduled events and administrative work.

[00:57:15] Oh, I'm not doing that.

[00:57:17] Or interviews.

[00:57:18] Yeah, I would do interviews.

[00:57:21] You'll be required to work 40 hours a week, five days.

[00:57:25] That's fine.

[00:57:25] Okay.

[00:57:26] Here's some other responsibilities.

[00:57:29] Representing planners brand in the media with appearances with local TV

[00:57:33] and digital publications.

[00:57:34] Fine.

[00:57:34] I do.

[00:57:35] I'm already doing that.

[00:57:36] So just sign me up.

[00:57:38] Entertain fans all over the country at local events.

[00:57:40] Already doing it.

[00:57:41] Yep.

[00:57:41] Yep.

[00:57:42] Engage with customers.

[00:57:43] Ensure everyone has a quote nutty time.

[00:57:46] What does that mean?

[00:57:48] And a positive experience with the nutmobile.

[00:57:50] Volunteering for local communities.

[00:57:52] I don't have time to volunteer to when I've got to do all the rest of this stuff.

[00:57:55] No, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:57:58] That's what my dad was like.

[00:57:59] Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

[00:58:00] Right, right.

[00:58:01] The Gen Z-ers aren't going to do all that and neither are the Zoomers.

[00:58:05] There are three nutmobiles.

[00:58:07] There's only three nutmobiles?

[00:58:09] Yeah.

[00:58:10] Well, there you go.

[00:58:13] OK, this story.

[00:58:15] Outrage from all my older friends.

[00:58:19] They're going to raise the price of stamps again.

[00:58:24] If you go watch my Mad Again Again special, I don't know where it's at.

[00:58:29] It's on Amazon, I think.

[00:58:30] I don't know.

[00:58:31] After they do a run someplace and they get sold off the other way.

[00:58:35] Just Google it.

[00:58:35] I think it's on Amazon.

[00:58:37] I have jokes about the post office where I defend the post office

[00:58:42] because I still can't believe that I can walk into a building and hand a piece of paper.

[00:58:45] The stamps will now be 73 cents.

[00:58:48] I can hand a piece of paper to another adult and go for 73 cents

[00:58:51] when you take this to Alaska.

[00:58:53] And they go, sure, we'll have it there in two days.

[00:58:56] Holy shit.

[00:58:57] It's the most efficient thing we have in this country.

[00:59:00] Whether you think their mailing is still a thing or not,

[00:59:04] that's a different argument.

[00:59:05] But the women that work at my post office, and it's 90% women

[00:59:09] and it's 90% black women, that thing runs like the military.

[00:59:14] And that's why people go, oh, that post office, they lose a lot of mail.

[00:59:17] Really?

[00:59:18] I wish they would lose mail.

[00:59:20] I haven't had fun with mail since I was 10 years old.

[00:59:23] Mail's fun till you're about 10 when there's birthday money in there

[00:59:26] or first communion money or something in an envelope.

[00:59:28] But after that, no, it's just tax shit.

[00:59:31] And I don't even understand sometimes why we're still mad.

[00:59:38] But like, I got all those condolence cards.

[00:59:40] It's nice to get a card.

[00:59:42] And really, if you're mad at anybody, you should be mad at the card people.

[00:59:44] The cards are like $7000.

[00:59:47] I know it's ridiculous.

[00:59:48] You go to check out at CVS and it would do two cards.

[00:59:51] And they're like, that only 2874.

[00:59:53] What? What?

[00:59:56] Here's your coupon.

[00:59:57] And then every coupon says, you must use this in the next 35 minutes.

[01:00:01] Oh fuck, I have to shop again?

[01:00:03] Damn.

[01:00:04] That's why I prefer Walgreens.

[01:00:06] I get my wall bucks and then boom, they tell me how many I have.

[01:00:11] Well, I named them that.

[01:00:11] I don't know what they call them.

[01:00:12] I call them my wall bucks.

[01:00:13] And then they go, you have $28 on your Walgreen.

[01:00:16] Yes, spend it.

[01:00:18] It can be dead tomorrow.

[01:00:19] You don't know.

[01:00:21] If the US Postal Service gets it, wait, which they always do.

[01:00:24] But I mean, I'm saying the post office is so efficient.

[01:00:27] It runs like clockwork.

[01:00:29] Like I wish we could find a better thing, a different thing for them to do with their efficiency.

[01:00:34] Because I do think mail is eventually going to become outdated.

[01:00:38] Like now mostly honestly it's junk mail or tech shit.

[01:00:42] Yes.

[01:00:43] Yeah.

[01:00:43] Which I don't understand why they can't email that.

[01:00:46] But whatever.

[01:00:48] I mean, you're trusting me to pay you online.

[01:00:50] Why don't you trust to bill me online?

[01:00:52] And it makes no sense.

[01:00:53] Anyway, it's going to go up for the fourth time in less than two years.

[01:00:57] They're proposing the hike of the first class stamp to 73 cents or roughly 7% of all forms of postage.

[01:01:06] And then they go into the details.

[01:01:08] There's all kinds of mailing categories that normal people don't need to know anything about.

[01:01:12] Oh, and postcards to $1.65.

[01:01:14] Good luck finding it.

[01:01:15] Oh, domestic postcards, 56 cents.

[01:01:18] Good luck finding one.

[01:01:19] Right.

[01:01:19] Because one of my friends has a special needs adult sister.

[01:01:22] And she likes mail.

[01:01:24] And I said, oh, well, I'll do it.

[01:01:26] I'll send her a postcard from every city.

[01:01:27] I used to send my nephews when they were all little, little didn't get mail.

[01:01:30] I would send them postcards from every city.

[01:01:33] Nobody makes them anymore.

[01:01:34] Nope.

[01:01:35] Not even in the airports.

[01:01:37] It's weird.

[01:01:39] Nobody cares.

[01:01:41] So that's what's going to happen.

[01:01:44] Prepare yourselves.

[01:01:45] People that are pissed about mail.

[01:01:47] Just prepare to get pissed off.

[01:01:50] Move it on.

[01:01:53] Buc-ee's.

[01:01:55] I love Buc-ee's.

[01:01:56] I'm drinking out of a Buc-ee's glass.

[01:01:58] But they brought the hammer down on a duck.

[01:02:01] And I don't know that they should have, but I think by law they probably had to.

[01:02:06] Because there are cooking food in Buc-ee's.

[01:02:08] OK.

[01:02:09] A YouTuber with a duck named...

[01:02:12] Stop.

[01:02:15] Named Wrinkle.

[01:02:16] The duck's name is Wrinkle.

[01:02:18] Was not welcome at Buc-ee's anymore.

[01:02:20] Fake beavers and animals on visible leashes seem to be the select animals that Buc-ee is OK with.

[01:02:25] Oh boy.

[01:02:26] Yeah.

[01:02:27] Well, that's because they have all that.

[01:02:28] Get it?

[01:02:29] Ha ha ha.

[01:02:30] They've got...

[01:02:31] A vlogger who still vlogs.

[01:02:34] With a duck named Wrinkle took a...

[01:02:36] Oh my God, it was in Sevierville, Tennessee.

[01:02:37] That's Dolly's hometown.

[01:02:38] Oh, Dolly!

[01:02:40] Because of his duck, it was his last trip ever to a Buc-ee's.

[01:02:43] And a video posted to his YouTube channel.

[01:02:46] His YouTube channel is Seduc-ee's.

[01:02:49] Channel is Seductive.

[01:02:51] Get it?

[01:02:52] Duck.

[01:02:52] Yeah.

[01:02:53] Duck.

[01:02:53] I like it.

[01:02:54] Justin Wood took his three-year-old service animal for a stroll around the world's largest Buc-ee's.

[01:02:58] And Buc-ee's employees took notice as people approached, asking to pet the duck.

[01:03:02] Staff then asked for documentation of Wrinkle's service animal status.

[01:03:07] Who had that job?

[01:03:09] Exactly.

[01:03:09] Walk up to that person and ask them to see Wrinkle's papers.

[01:03:13] We need Wrinkle's papers.

[01:03:16] After escapades through the store aisles and looking at plush beaver toys

[01:03:19] and handing out $2 bills to fellow customers.

[01:03:22] Whoa!

[01:03:23] The adventure came to an end.

[01:03:24] Police officers greeted the do outside of Buc-ee's.

[01:03:27] God, they called the cops and informed Wood that he was banned from all Buc-ee's.

[01:03:31] If he's caught again on the property, including the parking lot or the gas pumps,

[01:03:35] he would be charged with trespassing.

[01:03:36] Settle down!

[01:03:38] I know they're cooking food in there.

[01:03:39] You probably shouldn't have a duck.

[01:03:42] And he said, come on, Wrinkle.

[01:03:44] Wood said as he and his duck waddled away from the store.

[01:03:47] Along with content about Wrinkle and trying other different brands of water

[01:03:50] and how to pick up a duck, Woods' channel is dedicated to places he takes wrinkle.

[01:03:55] So far they've visited a clown motel, a Chuck E. Cheese, and a New York City subway.

[01:03:59] Wait, a clown motel?

[01:04:00] Mm-hmm.

[01:04:01] A New York City subway.

[01:04:03] On a visit to a Tesla store, Wood was asked to stop recording

[01:04:06] and is seen later outside of the store.

[01:04:08] I want to formally apologize for being offensive.

[01:04:11] Then again, I'm not the one selling people bots.

[01:04:17] Oh, he means Eli about Tesla.

[01:04:19] Yeah.

[01:04:23] Some of the employees were concerned with Wrinkle that he seemed

[01:04:29] about how he was contained.

[01:04:30] For part of the visit, Wrinkle was in a stroller.

[01:04:34] Then an employee told Wood the duck could possibly fly out

[01:04:37] and clarified that even service animals such as dog have to be on a leash

[01:04:41] in order to be in the store.

[01:04:42] Oh, he wasn't even on a leash.

[01:04:43] Come on.

[01:04:44] You can't let a duck run around on a buck.

[01:04:46] So Woods attached the invisible leash to Wrinkle

[01:04:49] and set the duck on the floor to walk around.

[01:04:52] Come on.

[01:04:52] Stop it.

[01:04:53] Something in the air.

[01:04:55] Wrinkle flapped their wings and came up to Wood holding out a cup of water

[01:05:02] when he asked Wrinkle if he wanted a sippy.

[01:05:04] He was given the water, the duck water.

[01:05:10] He did.

[01:05:10] Wrinkle did win the hearts of the police officers who informed Wood about

[01:05:13] the banishment from the store.

[01:05:14] One officer clarified, it's not my decision and everything.

[01:05:17] It's just theirs.

[01:05:19] Yeah.

[01:05:21] Well, I'm sure there's, you know, if you have food,

[01:05:23] if you're serving food, it's like a rest.

[01:05:25] There's rules.

[01:05:26] I mean, I don't love the rules.

[01:05:28] Chicken, I'm sure the ducks freaked out.

[01:05:30] Well, and maybe the duck likes jerky.

[01:05:32] Yeah.

[01:05:33] Speaking of restaurants, speaking of restaurants, food.

[01:05:40] Did anybody care about McDonald's bagels, breakfast items?

[01:05:44] Well, first of all, it's a shitty bagel.

[01:05:47] If you're going to go bagels, get real ones.

[01:05:49] Now, it is okay when they put the sandwich.

[01:05:52] They're bringing them back.

[01:05:53] Well, they're already back.

[01:05:53] I saw a sign down at the lake saying it's a fan favorite.

[01:05:58] There are at least 1200 restaurants.

[01:06:00] They could return to all 14,000 US outlets later this year.

[01:06:05] They were first introduced in the late 19, but were cut off.

[01:06:09] During the pandemic, since then, the fans have gone crazy,

[01:06:12] calling for their return.

[01:06:14] They're so popular that a 13,000 member Facebook group

[01:06:17] has sprung up called Where's My McDonald's Bagel?

[01:06:22] Here's where they've returned to.

[01:06:24] California, Pennsylvania, Nashville, Louisiana, Pennsylvania,

[01:06:27] Florida, Tennessee, Iowa, West Virginia,

[01:06:29] Carolina, North Carolina, Ohio.

[01:06:32] Oh, California, sorry.

[01:06:33] North Carolina, Ohio, Alabama plus New York.

[01:06:35] The nation's biggest bagel capital.

[01:06:39] You know, I don't know if you've got something in between it

[01:06:43] like egg and sausage and that you're outside

[01:06:45] instead of a biscuit.

[01:06:47] Well, if you're hungover, it's probably good.

[01:06:49] There's four.

[01:06:50] They all have egg and cheese.

[01:06:52] It's back.

[01:06:53] If you're interested.

[01:06:55] Not my thing.

[01:06:56] I'd rather have a biscuit.

[01:06:58] It's probably way more fattening.

[01:06:59] They're probably even.

[01:07:03] If you're hungover, you're going to eat the whole thing.

[01:07:05] Exactly.

[01:07:09] 2024 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the inductees are.

[01:07:13] Drum roll.

[01:07:14] Wait.

[01:07:21] Here's who made it.

[01:07:24] Mary J. Blige.

[01:07:26] Yay.

[01:07:27] Dave Matthews Band.

[01:07:29] Well, I'll give it a yay for my brother.

[01:07:31] Well, I liked it a long time ago.

[01:07:34] I guess he deserves it.

[01:07:36] Yes.

[01:07:36] Foreigner.

[01:07:38] They deserve it.

[01:07:39] I don't like them.

[01:07:44] It's not my thing.

[01:07:45] There's a lot to me.

[01:07:46] There's a lot of better, a lot of better bands from the 70s.

[01:07:50] Peter Frampton.

[01:07:51] Yes.

[01:07:52] Cool in the gang.

[01:07:53] All right.

[01:07:55] Ozzy Osbourne.

[01:07:56] Yes.

[01:07:57] And a tribe called Quest.

[01:07:59] I don't know enough about him.

[01:08:00] Here's who's been given the musical excellence award.

[01:08:04] Jimmy Buffett.

[01:08:05] He should.

[01:08:06] Dionne Warwick.

[01:08:07] Absolutely.

[01:08:08] And Norman Whitfield.

[01:08:10] Who's that?

[01:08:11] No idea.

[01:08:12] Google Norman.

[01:08:14] Norman Whitfield, the name sounds like an old white man.

[01:08:17] He is.

[01:08:18] An old white man.

[01:08:19] Nope.

[01:08:19] He's very black.

[01:08:20] He's very black.

[01:08:21] Okay.

[01:08:22] He's from Harlem.

[01:08:24] Oh, he's from Harlem.

[01:08:25] Well, Whitfield just sounds so.

[01:08:28] What kind of does he do?

[01:08:29] Funk or what's he do?

[01:08:31] Psychedelic soul.

[01:08:32] Psychedelic soul.

[01:08:33] I ain't too proud to beg.

[01:08:34] I ain't too proud to.

[01:08:35] Oh, I'm going to go listen to Norman Whitfield.

[01:08:37] Congratulations, Norman.

[01:08:38] On the musical excellence award.

[01:08:40] Funk, disco, psychedelic soul.

[01:08:41] Here's who didn't make it this round.

[01:08:43] Sinead O'Connor.

[01:08:45] Lenny Kravitz.

[01:08:46] And Mariah Carey.

[01:08:47] Oh, Mariah Carey.

[01:08:49] Come on.

[01:08:52] That Christmas song is the only thing.

[01:08:53] The Christmas song lives on forever.

[01:08:56] Mariah's Christmas song.

[01:08:58] They're going to be on TV.

[01:09:00] Oh no.

[01:09:01] Yeah, they're going to live stream on Disney Plus.

[01:09:03] It'll be October 19th at the Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse in Cleveland, Ohio.

[01:09:08] There you go.

[01:09:09] There's the winners.

[01:09:10] Congratulations.

[01:09:13] Cher said children will go fuck themselves.

[01:09:14] I wonder if she's going to go.

[01:09:17] If you get that mad and then they put you in, what are you going to do?

[01:09:22] Say sorry, Charlie.

[01:09:24] Right.

[01:09:25] Send a proxy.

[01:09:27] All right.

[01:09:27] Send a drag queen.

[01:09:28] She should send a Cher drag queen.

[01:09:30] She should send a drag queen.

[01:09:31] That would be great.

[01:09:33] She should have a contest at the Abbey in West Hollywood and say somebody's going as my

[01:09:37] representative.

[01:09:39] And then, oh my God, the line would be longer than any reality show that ever.

[01:09:43] And there are so many good ones.

[01:09:46] It would be brutal to choose.

[01:09:48] I would love to be a judge.

[01:09:49] That would be so fun.

[01:09:50] Me and Bobby.

[01:09:51] My friend Bob should be judges.

[01:09:54] Bronson.

[01:09:55] Well, Bronson come too.

[01:09:57] That would be, that's an excellent idea.

[01:09:59] That's a great idea.

[01:10:01] Here's an idea for people.

[01:10:05] Inside the Irish town that banished smartphones for children under 12.

[01:10:11] Greystones became a global sensation after school.

[01:10:13] People stopped obsessing over influencers and discovered a new way of life,

[01:10:18] which would be my childhood, your childhood.

[01:10:22] Cool.

[01:10:28] All the kids want them.

[01:10:30] So this town, they decided if we all do it, but you kind of got to be on board.

[01:10:38] Everybody's kind of got to, the majority have to be on board.

[01:10:41] Just for kids or adults too?

[01:10:43] Kids under 12.

[01:10:45] Which I don't think my sister or brothers let their kids have phones until they were 13.

[01:10:49] Yeah, you kind of need them.

[01:10:51] You don't need them.

[01:10:52] Yeah, you do.

[01:10:53] No, you don't.

[01:10:54] Yes.

[01:10:55] I remember my sister goes, well, what if the kids got lost?

[01:10:59] And my dad goes, really?

[01:11:01] He was, I don't know.

[01:11:02] He's like, I'm 75.

[01:11:03] Your mom's 75.

[01:11:04] We have seven kids.

[01:11:06] We know all kinds of people that have kids.

[01:11:08] No kids have gotten lost.

[01:11:09] I'm like, he's right.

[01:11:11] Get lost.

[01:11:12] I mean, yes, people go missing.

[01:11:15] I get it.

[01:11:16] Yes, the world is more dangerous.

[01:11:17] But anyway, in one town in Ireland, almost the whole town, 95% of the 22,000 strong

[01:11:26] community in Greystones and neighboring Delgany near Dublin has agreed to withhold

[01:11:31] phones from their children until at least the age of 12, meaning that the vast majority

[01:11:35] of the area's 3,500 primary school pupils are phone free.

[01:11:39] No phones in the classroom, no pesky phones at home either.

[01:11:43] No phones at home too.

[01:11:45] Wow.

[01:11:48] In a world where parents are battling to pry devices from the fingers of children as

[01:11:53] young as five, this feels revolutionary.

[01:11:55] Hence, a succession of camera crews from around the world are descending on the picturesque

[01:11:58] Irish town.

[01:11:59] They've had calls from Australia, camera crews from the United States, France,

[01:12:03] Scandinavia.

[01:12:05] One label, it's amazing.

[01:12:06] We're just a little school.

[01:12:07] But on the other, it thrills me that this is a global issue.

[01:12:11] It doesn't matter where you live.

[01:12:12] It's the same concerns.

[01:12:13] And it's worked out great.

[01:12:15] All the kids are happy.

[01:12:17] The peer pressure's off.

[01:12:19] Something think about.

[01:12:21] Yeah.

[01:12:23] But the problem is I don't know like in America if you could get that many people

[01:12:28] to agree to one thing.

[01:12:30] Everybody's always fighting.

[01:12:31] I don't know that we could do that.

[01:12:35] And if you have more than half or more, I don't know.

[01:12:39] No, Ireland is cool that way though.

[01:12:44] Well, they're more, I don't know.

[01:12:47] They get it.

[01:12:47] All right.

[01:12:48] Moving on.

[01:12:48] This is not a political podcast.

[01:12:52] No, it's not a political.

[01:12:53] It's a socio.

[01:12:55] It's a social commentary on that though.

[01:12:58] Should they have to sell phones before 12?

[01:13:01] I don't know.

[01:13:05] So I wanted to read this.

[01:13:07] Actually, I'm going to save this one for next week.

[01:13:08] I keep saying I want to save it because it's long but it's worth it.

[01:13:11] So I'm going to save it.

[01:13:12] We're getting back on the wagon.

[01:13:13] It's yeah, it's back on the way.

[01:13:15] The celebrity writer thing.

[01:13:19] I'll read one.

[01:13:21] Beyonce's.

[01:13:22] So as a performer person, you get to put, it's just a checklist of shit you want

[01:13:29] and they have to do it.

[01:13:30] In your green room.

[01:13:30] The venue.

[01:13:31] Well, they don't have to have to but they usually do and they try.

[01:13:34] They're usually very nice.

[01:13:36] Well, I don't put anything even my agent Heidi was like,

[01:13:40] you don't even have like a deli tray in your writer?

[01:13:43] I said no, Heidi, because when you travel the country,

[01:13:45] it turns out there's a lot of definitions of deli trays and a lot are horrible.

[01:13:50] I go now you go to Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

[01:13:52] It's 87 pounds of cheese.

[01:13:54] One piece of salami.

[01:13:55] I love it.

[01:13:56] Right.

[01:13:57] Thumbs up.

[01:13:57] Way to go, Wisconsin.

[01:13:59] It just sits back there and it's wet.

[01:14:03] Here you want a wet piece of baloney?

[01:14:04] Who the fuck?

[01:14:05] No, I'll find somewhere to eat.

[01:14:08] Really, it just ended up to be feeding the opening act.

[01:14:10] It was just feeding giant men that want to eat four sandwiches.

[01:14:15] You're going to eat that?

[01:14:17] No.

[01:14:17] Beyonce.

[01:14:19] She requests a hotel room at 77 degrees Fahrenheit all the time

[01:14:24] and with a buffet without Coca-Cola.

[01:14:30] The cost of her writer is 10 grand.

[01:14:34] Jesus.

[01:14:35] Mine's less than 150.

[01:14:37] It's probably 100 bucks.

[01:14:39] No, it's not even.

[01:14:39] They'll charge me that because that's a base fee.

[01:14:42] That's fine.

[01:14:43] If some kid will go get it, I need six beers depending on who the opener is.

[01:14:47] Sometimes 12.

[01:14:49] My beer monster, Michael Silverfield is coming and we need something other than Mick

[01:14:52] Oltrie.

[01:14:52] He likes a little something with a little more spice.

[01:14:56] Two Diet Cokes and six waters.

[01:14:59] That's it.

[01:15:02] She asked for chicken thighs that have been heavenly seasoned with cayenne pepper

[01:15:06] as well as rose scented candles.

[01:15:08] Lastly, she refuses to have Coca-Cola cans.

[01:15:11] She can only be seen with Pepsi products due to contractual arrangement.

[01:15:16] That's not too outrageous for being Beyonce.

[01:15:21] We'll get into this some more because some of them are really off the charts.

[01:15:25] But hold on.

[01:15:29] This one is kind of crazy and then I have a feel good story and then I'll do

[01:15:32] my thank yous and then our quotes.

[01:15:34] What are you eating?

[01:15:36] Oh, I forgot what am I eating.

[01:15:38] I'll save it for next week.

[01:15:39] Yeah, because I haven't even tasted it.

[01:15:40] I'll save it for next week.

[01:15:42] They're wonderful.

[01:15:43] I'll save it.

[01:15:44] So did a man take a picture of the iceberg that sank the Titanic?

[01:15:51] I think he did.

[01:15:53] It's a newly unearthed photo that provides a fascinating clue to 1912 tragedy

[01:15:59] that killed 1522 people.

[01:16:01] It's up for sale at an auction.

[01:16:04] It was taken two days after the luxury liner struck an iceberg on her maiden voyage

[01:16:09] and it was taken from the rescue ship.

[01:16:12] The black and white image was captured by an undertaker

[01:16:15] working on the body recovery ship that arrived at the wreck in the

[01:16:19] site of the aftermath of the sinking.

[01:16:21] It's now up for sale, estimated price $4,000 to $7,000.

[01:16:26] It shows a large glacier oddly shaped like an elephant

[01:16:30] above the surface of the North Atlantic.

[01:16:31] It was taken two days after the luxury liner struck an iceberg,

[01:16:35] could have been another one but seems like it was this one,

[01:16:37] on her maiden voyage and sank and killed all those people.

[01:16:41] I mean, it looks like the one, but I don't know who they all look like.

[01:16:46] I don't know.

[01:16:47] The photographer believed to be funeral director John Snow Jr.

[01:16:52] later put it in a cardboard mount and simply captioned it Titanic.

[01:16:57] Mr. Snow's dad ran an undertaker's, oh, in Nova Scotia.

[01:17:02] Oh, when news of the tragedy broke, he and his staff of bombers were summoned to Halifax.

[01:17:08] They boarded a cable laying ship with the Mackay Bennett,

[01:17:12] which was the ship was called the Mackay Bennett,

[01:17:14] which was loaded with 100 coffins and 100 tons of ice to preserve the bodies.

[01:17:19] They set off for the wreck site 800 miles away.

[01:17:24] I'd have given the cake to someone else.

[01:17:26] I know it's probably a lot of money but I don't want to go 800 miles.

[01:17:30] We know the sea's crazy.

[01:17:31] There's icebergs.

[01:17:32] I don't want to be a second Titanic.

[01:17:35] They began their grim task the next morning.

[01:17:38] In all, they recovered 306 bodies from the sea.

[01:17:41] Those identified as first-class passengers were bombed on the ship and placed in coffins.

[01:17:45] Those, oh, if you're first class, you get a coffin.

[01:17:48] Shut up.

[01:17:49] Stop it.

[01:17:49] Those included the bodies of John Jacob Astor, the richest man aboard,

[01:17:54] and Isadora Strauss, the owner of Macy's Department Store.

[01:17:58] Second-class passengers were embalmed and wrapped in canvas.

[01:18:02] Some 116 third-class managers were just thrown back into the sea.

[01:18:09] You're going to fuck the poor people even at the end.

[01:18:11] Wow.

[01:18:12] Unbelievable.

[01:18:13] The ship returned to Halifax seven days later with 190 victims.

[01:18:20] The photo has been passed down to the family.

[01:18:22] It was acquired by a collector of Titanic memorabilia about 30 years ago.

[01:18:27] So auctioneer said nobody can say for sure it was the iceberg.

[01:18:31] Well, I think it was.

[01:18:32] But what we can say is that after the rescue ship Carpathia,

[01:18:37] the Mackay Bennett was one of the first ships to the wreck site

[01:18:40] and that the undertaker on board decided to take a picture of this iceberg.

[01:18:43] He must have had his reasons for taking it.

[01:18:45] He captured the Titanic and mounted it for posterity.

[01:18:48] It hasn't been sold before.

[01:18:49] It was acquired directly from Mr. Snow's family in the early 90s.

[01:18:53] It's extremely rare photograph and will attract a lot of interest.

[01:18:58] Yeah, I think it's it.

[01:19:02] Here's my feel good story.

[01:19:04] This makes me laugh so hard.

[01:19:08] I try to read stories that aren't on the news a lot.

[01:19:11] This one did kind of make the rounds but I like it anyway.

[01:19:14] A Utah couple.

[01:19:16] Oh my God.

[01:19:19] Whoever wrote this article has been waiting to use this their whole life.

[01:19:21] A Utah couple were perplexed.

[01:19:25] P-U-R-R.

[01:19:26] One day when their shy cat, Galina, suddenly disappeared.

[01:19:29] Then she was found in an Amazon warehouse all the way in California.

[01:19:33] She mysteriously went missing.

[01:19:34] She was an indoor cat and she's an awesome looking thing.

[01:19:37] She looks like 20 cats in one.

[01:19:38] We'll put the picture up.

[01:19:39] But her owners couldn't figure out how the indoor cat could disappear without a trace.

[01:19:43] A week later, the couple got a notification that her microchip had been scanned

[01:19:47] and they were soon on a call with a veterinarian in Los Angeles.

[01:19:51] She survived six days without food or water after she was accidentally shipped out with return and Amazon return.

[01:19:57] Six days!

[01:19:58] That's insane.

[01:19:59] That breaks the 3-3-3 rule.

[01:20:01] Three minutes without oxygen, three days without water, three weeks without food.

[01:20:05] It's an amazing cat.

[01:20:08] They drove to California.

[01:20:10] The indoor cat has a penchant for playing in boxes.

[01:20:13] She is particularly good at hiding.

[01:20:18] She said she was able to speak with the worker who found her.

[01:20:21] And she said the Amazon worker took the cat home and took care of her that night.

[01:20:27] Before she took it to the vet the next day.

[01:20:29] They booked a flight to California to reunite with their cat.

[01:20:34] Well, here's the thing.

[01:20:35] Somebody opened that box at an Amazon warehouse.

[01:20:40] You wouldn't want to open it if Kato was in there.

[01:20:45] And she hasn't had food or drink in six days.

[01:20:46] She'd be super mad.

[01:20:49] Baby cat would be fine.

[01:20:51] Chappo, it's a toss-up.

[01:20:53] But Kato, they're lucky they got a nice one to be in the box.

[01:20:58] Because that is not a pleasant surprise if you open it and you got a mean cat.

[01:21:02] Kato would just be so pissed.

[01:21:07] These are the thank yous.

[01:21:08] If you don't care about this, you can fast forward.

[01:21:11] But I need to thank everybody who did something.

[01:21:13] Because they put a lot of effort into it.

[01:21:15] And it's always fun to get all the stuff.

[01:21:17] And if I can't take the beer home, we drink it that night.

[01:21:21] Royale O, Teresa, Cindy, Lizzie and Kathleen.

[01:21:24] Yeah, Kathleen.

[01:21:25] They're Ann Arbor termites.

[01:21:27] So really they're ermites.

[01:21:31] Karina and Jason, Susan and Jeff, Tracy and Christy.

[01:21:34] Oh, Indiana termites.

[01:21:36] They called in sick to work.

[01:21:40] Denise, Bridget came all the way from Pittsburgh.

[01:21:42] Jan, Lori, John, Tammy, Rob, Lake Orion, Michigan.

[01:21:47] I don't know where that is.

[01:21:48] Leslie and Nancy, Steph and Allison, Sutton's Bay, Michigan.

[01:21:53] These are the people.

[01:21:53] You're all following down.

[01:21:54] Where are these people from?

[01:21:56] Roxanne, Marion, Steve, Jane, Brian and Dana.

[01:21:59] Sarah and Tom, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan.

[01:22:01] Daronna, Donna and Teresa, Tracy and Dave, Margaret, Ann Arbor.

[01:22:06] I love Ann Arbor.

[01:22:06] There used to be a club there.

[01:22:07] I used to work.

[01:22:08] I loved it.

[01:22:08] But once you do Detroit, you can't kind of, you can't do them both.

[01:22:11] You got to pick one.

[01:22:13] And John and Mary Ann from Lansing.

[01:22:15] I've worked there too.

[01:22:16] And then Anaheim.

[01:22:17] Big shout out to Ashley, Kathy, Corey, Stephen, Cindy, Alex and Joey, Amy, Oliver and Gracie.

[01:22:23] That was in August.

[01:22:23] There was a lot of stuff back there too.

[01:22:25] I know.

[01:22:26] Thank God Heidi had some meat.

[01:22:27] Yeah, thank God.

[01:22:29] There's food.

[01:22:29] Oh look, here's food from fans.

[01:22:32] And then they're like, hey, do you care if I get into those?

[01:22:34] No, go ahead.

[01:22:35] But let me know what you're eating before.

[01:22:37] Yeah, I might want it.

[01:22:40] No, it was good because there were a lot of people backstage.

[01:22:41] So it was like just an instant.

[01:22:43] Here you go.

[01:22:44] I'm sorry my writer doesn't have that.

[01:22:46] I need chicken wings with cayenne pepper and Jesus Christ.

[01:22:50] Try that shit in some of the towns I've worked in.

[01:22:53] Here's what I would like.

[01:22:54] Here's what temperature my beer needs to be.

[01:22:56] Yeah, my room, my hotel room.

[01:22:58] I'm not letting you get my hotel.

[01:22:59] I'll be in charge of where I stay.

[01:23:00] You don't have to worry about all that.

[01:23:02] God damn.

[01:23:03] Thousand Oaks, Donna and Pat, Evie, Ellen and Mike, Sonia and Shane,

[01:23:07] Allison and Pam, Betsy, Rose and Eric, Ann Marie,

[01:23:10] Allison, Alexandra, Michelle, Christy, Leo and Gabe and Jake.

[01:23:17] All right.

[01:23:18] So wish me luck on meeting Tanya this week.

[01:23:20] Yeah.

[01:23:21] I don't know.

[01:23:21] I don't usually like to do that.

[01:23:23] I'm not very comfortable but it's a bar opening so it seems a little less weird.

[01:23:27] What are you doing this weekend?

[01:23:28] This weekend, I'm going to go see Morgan Wolin

[01:23:33] and I know his behavior is questionable.

[01:23:35] Don't judge.

[01:23:36] Don't judge me for not judging that.

[01:23:38] I just love his music.

[01:23:40] And then I always think, you know, when people that you really like as an artist do bad things,

[01:23:45] I used to say, like when Bill Cosby got accused of everything,

[01:23:49] all of his fans kept showing up but they might have bought those tickets

[01:23:52] a year in advance.

[01:23:53] You don't know.

[01:23:54] And let's say I bought tickets to see Stevie who's coming to Nashville,

[01:23:58] which I might go do that.

[01:23:59] And then somebody said Stevie Nicks ate a baby.

[01:24:02] I'd be like, well, when?

[01:24:03] Because I bought the tickets before she ate the baby.

[01:24:07] And do you know she ate the baby?

[01:24:08] Really?

[01:24:09] Like, it's just that part sucks.

[01:24:11] But anyway, let's do a Tay-Tay quote and then we'll finish on a Dolly quote.

[01:24:20] Dolly, when you're...

[01:24:23] Oh, this is Taylor.

[01:24:24] Sorry.

[01:24:24] When you're singing, you can hear the echo of the people in the audience

[01:24:27] singing every single word with you.

[01:24:29] And that was a big dream I had for myself.

[01:24:32] It's happening.

[01:24:33] Yep.

[01:24:34] That's something I never want to hear in comedy.

[01:24:36] No.

[01:24:36] Nope.

[01:24:37] Shut up.

[01:24:40] Well, that's the thing with the youngsters on TikTok.

[01:24:42] Now the young comics, they want to do crowd work because they don't want to put...

[01:24:45] They're real jokes on TikTok, which is stupid in my opinion.

[01:24:48] You should put your real jokes on TikTok.

[01:24:49] That's why people are coming to see you if they do come to see you.

[01:24:53] But they're encouraging crowd work.

[01:24:56] We have encouraged the audiences to not do that.

[01:24:59] The rowdy ones.

[01:25:02] All right.

[01:25:02] Dolly Parton.

[01:25:03] Let's move on to Dolly.

[01:25:04] She's always got something fun to say.

[01:25:06] Dolly Parton discussing her long career in an interview with...

[01:25:10] Oh, wait.

[01:25:11] No, we'll do this one.

[01:25:12] A famous Dollyism posted by Dolly on her Twitter page in 2013.

[01:25:16] My weakness has always been food and men in that order.

[01:25:20] She loves a good biscuit.

[01:25:22] She's also going to be doing stuff from her cookbook down at that fan fest thing,

[01:25:26] a fan fair.

[01:25:27] We are going day drinking.

[01:25:29] Yeah.

[01:25:30] All right, termites.

[01:25:31] We'll be back next week.

[01:25:33] Thanks again for everything and we will see you.

[01:25:39] I won't be on the road this week.

[01:25:41] I get a whole week home.

[01:25:42] It's amazing.

[01:25:43] Yeah.

[01:25:43] Amazing.

[01:25:46] And then I'll be going off to Ireland.

[01:25:48] Nice.

[01:25:49] Yep.

[01:25:49] That's fun.

[01:25:50] A little golf vacation.

[01:25:53] All right.

[01:25:53] That's it.

[01:25:54] Are you ready?

[01:25:55] I'm ready.

[01:25:55] I'm ready.

[01:25:56] I'm ready.

[01:25:56] I'm ready.

[01:25:57] I'm ready.

[01:25:58] I'm ready.

[01:25:58] I'm ready.

[01:25:59] I'm ready.

[01:25:59] I'm ready.

[01:26:00] I'm ready.

[01:26:01] Are you ready?