Episode 170: Stupid State Liquor Laws, Honoring Pop Tarts, & A Nashville Bar Crawl

[00:00:01] Hey everybody it's me Kathleen Madigan welcome to Madigans Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on. Welcome! I know my voice just cracked. Welcome, that's the proper way to say it.

[00:00:31] Welcome from Stevie. Welcome. I'll be going to see Stevie in New Orleans. I can hardly wait. I hope all the witches come out in their capes and their moon necklaces. It's a giant witchy night in New Orleans and it might rain that night

[00:00:45] too, even spooky. Welcome. Well you should see how much Stevie loves it. That was borderline. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Anyway termites! Episode 170, fire! Fire! So many things. I just got back from Phoenix. Well Scottsdale, they're particular

[00:01:11] about that. Yeah, well some people are. I don't know, whatever. You know, the desert. I was in the desert at Talking Stick Resort. So that place, if you're a live poker player, I'm not. I'm a video poker player. I don't like to play against other people because

[00:01:25] it takes too long and I don't like the bluffing. I think, I don't know, it doesn't sit well with my Midwest polite self. I don't like the, yeah, I don't know, it just seems too

[00:01:32] cutthroat, too serious. But like my friend Laureen, her husband Tony loves to play. He goes to those tournaments. Well they just opened this enormous live poker room and there are sports everywhere. So if somebody's bluffing too long and you get a little bored with their

[00:01:46] antics, well it doesn't matter. There's a hundred sports on right now. Right. It's just super fantastic. It was brand new. It's just a wonderful casino. Everything about that place. It's clean. The restaurants are good. There's a Cajun restaurant in there. And then one up

[00:02:02] top that's got everything. And my friend Dax, if you go on my Instagram, you can see Dax. And his wife Heather and their family came. It was super fun. They're the most beautiful people ever.

[00:02:13] They are beautiful people. They're like Viking models. I know. And they're from the Midwest and they, Dax and Heather, two people that smoking hot were in Rockford, Illinois. And they met and then they married each other and then had beautiful little Viking babies.

[00:02:27] I met him at Barney's Beanery in LA. It's the only thing I miss about LA. One thing and it's a sports bar. I used to call it quicksand because I would get back from the road and,

[00:02:36] I had time traveled in reverse time. And then I would go in there. A lot of comedians go in there, but it's a lot of Midwest people who want to watch sports more than do the

[00:02:46] rest of LA things. And I met him there. We were watching either a Blackhawk or a blues game, or it could have been them playing one another. Yeah. I didn't know what he did or whatever. Usually it's comedians in there. I don't even know any other musicians that

[00:03:00] I can think of. Well, I know my little friend Anita. Yeah. And that was just from a plane ride. Yeah. Freedom Anita. So shout out to everybody at Talkies Stick, the whole place. It's just run well. Michelle runs it. And my old friend Wayne retired. Congratulations.

[00:03:20] My Osage Indian tribe member. He is now retired and being a grandpa. Very excited. I was going to see my friend Peter Costas, the golf guy, his wife Sandy, but they unfortunately went to Grandparents Day and picked up some sort of grossness from the children. So I'll have

[00:03:38] to catch up him next time. And it was all sold out. Chris Voth was the over at V-O-T-H. Everybody always wants to know on Twitter and all that. He was, if you liked Chris,

[00:03:48] you can go check out all his stuff. He's with Ron a lot out on the road. And then sometimes does his own shows in all around Colorado and wherever. And there you go. I'm drinking

[00:03:59] some of Dax's vodka. Cheap Trick has their own vodka. This right here. Rock and roll. It's called rock and roll. Rock and vodka. It's a great bottle. It's got two guitars

[00:04:10] and a skull. And then I got a mini one, which I may or may not known to sneak on airplanes and say it's my contact solution. I don't want to give up too many secrets. So I don't

[00:04:22] want to get stopped again at TSA. I have everything you have at the airport and every week it doesn't. I always still get random everything. They've done my eyes. I've given them, you know, my ovaries, everything. It's not enough to go through quickly. Nope. Nope. And we're

[00:04:41] going to talk about that too. A lady snuck through the Nashville TSA. She went through an unmanned station. I tried to figure it out this week when I went to the airport.

[00:04:50] I'm like, okay, how'd she do it? And who, what, when or not? And then got on a plane and got a seat. I, wait, we talk about it. It's just astonishing. First of all, what

[00:05:00] planes have empty seats anymore? I haven't been on a plane that had an empty seat in probably eight years unless it was a fluke. They're crowded. But, and how do you know it's empty? Right. It's like the ballpark. You're just going to sit there until someone

[00:05:13] kicks you out. I mean, that's just seems a little dicey on a flight. Right. Um, but I saw the, um, the Pima tribe, tribal dancers. Yes. Um, they were out doing a fire dance. The yellow bird dancers. They were called the yellow bird dancers. Yes. At six o'clock

[00:05:32] on Friday and Saturday, they do this traditional, um, Native American dance and all this stuff. It's very cool. Yeah. It's in a little video I made somewhere. I took a little video. I couldn't stay for the whole thing cause I had to go to soundcheck. Yeah. I've never

[00:05:44] seen the whole thing, but I've seen 25 out of 45 minutes and there was some termites down there too. Said hi to them. Yeah, I'll be at the show too. Hi. Hi. Um, what am I

[00:05:57] drinking here? Well, in honor of the golf tournament that was out there, the waste management, they got a little out of control. I don't know if you guys saw that, but, um, you know,

[00:06:07] I'm supporting the PGA. Uh, so, uh, four piece brewing, this is called bad birdie juicy golden ale. So that's, it's a bit, and I like the can, but I, I didn't even care about the bad

[00:06:18] birdie part. I just liked the can. There's palm trees, golf clubs. It's adorable. I think they made it just for the thing. I'm not sure about that. What are we going to taste? Well, I'm tasting these. These are Doritos dynamite sticks, hot honey mustard. I do love honey

[00:06:39] mustard. I don't know about hot honey mustard. Uh, Michelle, somebody named Michelle. Oh my God. Um, too hot for me. Yep. If you like hot stuff though, hold on. My blanket's falling down. I'm freezing. My day of the dead blanket. Um, I'm cold. It's cold. I got everything

[00:07:08] now. Um, yeah. Thank you for bringing those. Um, Ziggy and Ivor, those are, um, the Viking babies of the beautiful Rockford people. Um, they brought me these Aloha freeze dried, the Busta clusters, but no Busta clusters. And it has an alien. I like that you made

[00:07:27] them New York cluster. Well, it says clusters bust the clusters cause it said made in Hawaii. Went to Hawaii and bought this for me. It's probably at the little market or something. Freeze dried. Oh my God. I could see why kids would like this.

[00:07:48] Oh my God. It kind of tastes like a captain crunchberry. If captain crunchberries were to pop rocks, remember the pop rocks when you're a kid? You know what I did find out on the airplane?

[00:07:58] Um, these pair well with a screwdriver. That's not for you kids. That's not for the children. No, those are really something. They're fun. I could see why the kids would go for the packaging

[00:08:09] too. And Lacey and Amanda said some sriracha ranch from Kroger. Let's try that. Kroger is a grocery store for those of you who don't live in the South or the Midwest. Wow. Those are really

[00:08:23] something. It's good. Well, it's a lot of things happening. I like it a lot. I would use it more as a dip than a dressing. Sriracha ranch, Kroger. It's a grocery store. I don't

[00:08:47] think it's up East though. I think it's only in the South and the Midwest. There's some in the Midwest. Are they based in Cincinnati? Oh my God. I'm going to Cincinnati. I'm going to tell

[00:08:57] you guys where I'm going. Gosh, what Cincinnati has. I just read about it yesterday. They're a museum or some place in Cincinnati. I'll have to, I sent myself the article. A whole Pompeii

[00:09:10] exhibit. Oh cool. Yes. I can't wait. I'm going to have to be in Marietta, Ohio. Not really exactly sure where that is. And yeah, I'm like, um, come again? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? The

[00:09:24] great thing about Ohio is you could work a good solid two months a year in Ohio and never step on your own ticket sales. Nope. Nope. Available. There's a casino over here, Cleveland, all the

[00:09:35] places, the theaters downtown. Yay. Um, Columbus, Cincinnati, Akron, Ohio's just got a shit ton of people up there. Um, anyway, I'll tell you where I'm going then we're getting started on all this.

[00:09:48] And thanks to termite jazz who told me what slot machines to go to. I did find the NFL one. It was a type machine. I didn't get it. Yeah. I didn't really. Yeah. No. And then I found one

[00:09:58] that said, uh, uh, kitty fire. It was all cats. Yeah. I played that for a while. You're not supposed to be taking videos in casinos. That's why I don't ever take a video really well. I sneak

[00:10:07] them sometimes, but, uh, here's where I'm going on the road and then we're going to get started. Ready? Chattanooga. Boop. Chattanooga. Choo-choo Huntsville, Alabama. Wish it was a little warmer

[00:10:18] and I could golf down there, but it's going to be 54 and I can't do it. I can, but it won't be 54 the whole time. Uh, Detroit. Well, technically Royal Oak. That's March 1st and 2nd. Two shows.

[00:10:30] Yeah. One Friday, one Saturday. Um, Dayton, Ohio, Indy, um, San Antonio, Austin, Marietta, Ohio. As I said, Cincinnati, April 6th. That's where I will get tickets to that Pompeii deal. Um, Tarrytown, Wilmington, and then Anaheim thousand Oaks. And then the summer days that were added

[00:10:52] were West Hampton, New York. I'll be in the Hamptons, darling. Where do you summer? A summer in the Hamptons. I'll never forget when I first heard that I was probably like 20 when somebody

[00:11:03] goes, Oh, well, where do you summer? I'm like here in Missouri, the same place I live the rest of the year. We summer, right? Maybe we go to the Ozarks. Maybe anyway, Charlestown, West Virginia, a casino

[00:11:19] gig. That's a fun one. Portland, Maine. Can't wait. Uh, Atlantic city, the Bogota. I love it. Um, Niagara Falls, Ontario, then a little tiny Canadian termites. That place is so fun. And then,

[00:11:36] you know, somebody goes, are you going to go on the boat again? Yes, I'm going on the boat on the falls. Every time I go to Niagara Falls, I don't care how many times I go. It's so exciting

[00:11:47] when you start getting close to it, you're like, ah, and then you'd get all wet and it's just, yeah, it's phenomenal. I don't need to do the tour behind the falls. That was a one-time deal. I get

[00:11:57] it. I got it. I get it. I got it. Well, I don't know. I did like going out on that balcony and you're almost in the falls. The little scary, but I did. Um, yeah. And then, uh, Hampton beach,

[00:12:09] New Hampshire, the, the wild, the wild gig. I gotta say when I first went in that gig, the room of it, I was like, huh, it's kind of a weird shape. It was phenomenal. Yeah. It shocked

[00:12:19] me because sometimes when his room is like, uh, I don't know when there's too many people to the left and the right, I feel like I'm ignoring people. And then the vibe gets weird. No weird

[00:12:29] vibe at all. It's just a powerhouse, like an old, old timey giant saloon. And then you see all the people that have worked in there. It's so fun. It's so cool. And I know when you see Janice

[00:12:41] Doppel and you're like, huh? Cause driving there, I gotta say, I was like, um, we might've been punked. Uh, it's like corn. And I never think of corn up there. I think a corn in Iowa and Nebraska

[00:12:53] and Missouri and Kansas. I don't, I'm like, Whoa, we're going through cornfields. Like what's going to happen? It was just a very weird road. Maybe ways took me a wrong way. I don't know. Moving

[00:13:02] on queen news. Uh, Tate, hey, so broke all the sales records in Melbourne. Yeah. And I know it's Melbourne because my one brother and his wife lived there for seven years. And I learned the pronunciation instead of the Midwest pronunciation, which is Melbourne. Yeah. It's Melbourne,

[00:13:23] Melbourne, Melbourne. Anyway, she had a little lovely time in Australia. Good for you, Tate. I'm glad that all worked out. Um, we're, Oh, and then she goes to Sydney. She's just out

[00:13:34] there killing it. And what's his face is still here. A little Travvy. Yeah. Um, uh, queen news. This is awfully nice. Dolly. So I don't know if you guys saw, um, L King. Yeah. Did we talk about, I like, okay. Yep. Um, sorry. I'm playing once

[00:13:59] super nice. She's everything you would think in person to, um, I like her music. Well, she got a little way too hammered a tiny bit way too hammered at the Ryman. I think it was Dolly's

[00:14:09] birthday. She wasn't there, but it was a celebration. Well, Dolly's fine with that. King stunned fans when she admitted that she was quote fucking hammered, um, before performing Dolly's 2001 hit song, marry me at the country hall of fame. She slurred her words. She said,

[00:14:28] she had, I don't even know the lyrics to this fucking, to this thing in this fucking town. Don't tell Dolly cause it's a birthday up bad news for you. This is being recorded,

[00:14:42] but I do feel bad for her. I mean, I've never performed drunk and I've certainly never been on TV drunk or recorded drunk. I would never do that before a show, but they're young. They're going to do crazy shit. I'm a Catholic school rule follower. You never,

[00:14:55] I'm never going to do that shit, but I have plenty of friends who have, and then they either regret it or nobody noticed. But back in the day, nobody was filming us every goddamn minute.

[00:15:02] We were just out there being idiots and a lot of stuff flew under the radar of different people doing different things anyway. She's lost 70 pounds. Um, yeah, well her drunken behavior.

[00:15:16] I'm going to tell you what Dolly said. Um, she admitted, she said I get nervous before on stage. So I have a couple of drinks drinking makes me less nervous about hitting the high notes when

[00:15:25] I sing it. I don't make them. It won't, if I don't make them, it won't sting as much. Um, um, Dolly said, um, uh, shoot. I didn't put out what Dolly said. She figured she said, everybody makes mistakes and she's been going through a lot of stuff.

[00:15:49] So let's just forget it. And then that should put an end to it. If Dolly says we're not talking about it anymore, we're not talking about it anymore. You guys understand that? Also just

[00:15:58] a tiny reminder, if you live in Tennessee or a neighboring state and would like employment, just a reminder that Dolly parts, uh, parks and rec resorts continues to pay all tuition cost fees and books for part-time full-time and seasonal employees who pursue higher education.

[00:16:14] I may, I may go get a job there when I retire. Yeah. And then I can live in a cabin up in the Smoky mountains and then I can go back to school so I can work at the weather channel. Right? Yeah.

[00:16:25] Why not? I would work at a well, Dollywood, I guess. I don't know where else. No, I'd go to the dreamland resort. I don't need to be involved with the parking. I'm too old for that.

[00:16:38] Right. I can bartend at one of her resorts. Yeah, that'd be fine. I can't see you being yeah. I can't, I can't do any, I can't do any current craft arts and crafts, more or less

[00:16:49] old timey ones. Hey, let's make a belt with leather. Where's my Anvil? What do you want to turn some butter? Kathleen? No, it's hard. I have no upper body strength. I don't want to turn any

[00:16:59] butter. There's butter at Kroger. Stop it. Stop acting like there's not Kerry gold butter available everywhere when there is. Update, update, update. I'm going to keep updating you guys on national bars that are opening because it's just astonishing. I've already been to the new draft

[00:17:17] games. I've been to the new barstool sports one. They're just phenomenal. And the Garth Brooks one, you heard my review on that. Well, guess my niece, Emily, well, Emily and Claire are going to be so

[00:17:31] excited. They love Morgan Wall and I love his voice too. I like, I really like his albums. He's going to open a six story bar and restaurant in Nashville. Fantastic. It's going to be called

[00:17:42] This Bar. Oh, there's a song. There's a song, I believe, called that. I don't know the names of his songs. I just have it on Spotify. It's a 30,000 square feet venue and they're all on lower

[00:17:54] Broadway. Nobody's getting the shaft yet. Eventually these spots are going to be taken and somebody, you're going to have to go up by the church or you're going to have to go up by the train

[00:18:02] station. Somebody's going to get the shaft, but if you did get the shaft, I already made plans for that. Like, yeah, well, I kind of want Ron to open no comedians done it. I think he should open

[00:18:14] tater salads and you get, and I already, this is my promotional thing. Every drink you order, you get a free cup of tater tots. Right? Doesn't that make you want to go in? Free tater tots.

[00:18:27] As many as you can eat. Who cares? Don't ever Google the amount of calories in a tater tot. It's horrifying. And I don't understand why. I looked at it the other day. It's so sports bar

[00:18:37] because they put the calories, except French fries were like 360. Tater tots, 770. What are they doing to those things? They hold a lot of grease. Oh, they hold the grease. Is that it? They're like little grease salt bombs. That's why you like them.

[00:18:52] Each floor of this bar, see, I don't like this bar because it's like the hotel in Vegas. It's so fucking annoying when the cab guy goes or the Uber guy, where are you going? The hotel. Right.

[00:19:06] What hotel? It becomes a who's on first thing. Anyway, each floor of quote this bar and Tennessee kitchen will feature photos and memorabilia of his childhood and his career this far. I mean, how many pictures we have? He's only 25. Maybe his mom took a lot of pictures.

[00:19:26] And then there's going to have, they're going to have a lot of food. But then here's the other ones that have here's who's got bars out there. Jason Aldean's. It's very nondescript. It's fine. I

[00:19:36] don't I don't hate it. Dierks Bentley, Luke Brack, Garth Brooks, Alan Jackson, Miranda Lambert is very fun. And she's the only woman. Yeah. Good for you. Dolly's. We don't know what Dolly's doing

[00:19:48] with that building. She just bought the building. Luke Combs and Eric Church are set to have bars open. And guess who else is doing a bar in downtown Nashville? Stevie Nicks. No, Stevie's not doing that. Stevie doesn't have time for business. Stevie's shopping for capes, playing with her

[00:20:04] dolls and doing shows. Stop it. Decorating her tambourine every night in a different way. Stevie doesn't seem like a nose to the grindstone businesswoman. No, no. They say she doesn't even

[00:20:18] have a phone. And I would believe that. She has all the money. Well, this is what they don't say about the super rich. And I'm not slighting these people. I get it. Like if I didn't have to have a

[00:20:28] phone, I would not have a phone. I don't like it. But Stevie, you probably has, you know, five assistants. You have five live phones. Your phones are alive. And they just tell you, hey, someone

[00:20:39] sent a message. And then you go, oh, tell them I'm not available. I'm doing shows every night until I'm 87. I've already booked everything. Her energy at 75. Somebody posted she was in Maryland, Baltimore the night before that, before that, we're open to do this weekend.

[00:20:59] It's just amazing. Yeah. 75. She's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Stevie's not opening a bar in Nashville. No. Guess who's going to do it though? And I don't know. As the committee leader, I might

[00:21:10] have an issue with this. Okay. Jon Bon Jovi. I loved him in high school. JBJ. It's going to be called JBJs. Don't do that. People won't figure that out, especially when you're drunk. J B J.

[00:21:26] They're not going to put it together. It's like Florida Georgia line did the F L G. Yeah. What? Right. Jon Bon Jovi. I don't know. I think we're straying from what we're doing here.

[00:21:41] Call it the boardwalk. What we're doing here is country music, mostly. Mostly. Yeah. I mean, there are the bands that play in the bars here for the record. They do. Some of them play like

[00:21:55] Americana or pop, but it's a, the theme is country and then they vary off that. And there's a couple funk bars in the out in printers alley that I love where they like play Prince. But

[00:22:07] they are saying outside of the bar, we are funk. We are not country. This is if you want to break from country tin roof, which is a chain all around the country. I love tin roofs. Their

[00:22:16] bands play everything under the sun from Marshall Tucker to Led Zeppelin to country. But I don't know. Jon Bon Jovi. I just don't think of him and Nashville, but he said he's recorded some albums

[00:22:29] here. Well, I mean, who quite frankly, who hasn't? Yeah. I don't know. He seems like a nice guy. I just have to have a talk. You're well, you should open yours in Atlantic city.

[00:22:42] Right. Maybe he's opening more than one. I think of Jon Bon Jovi. I think of the East coast and I think of Jersey and Atlanta city and all that fun stuff. But Nashville, I don't know. Top date.

[00:22:56] I don't like it. I'm just saying. I say it's got to stay kind of country. That's why even if it was a comedian, it could be Foxworthy. Yes. Yeah. But there's already things,

[00:23:07] so many things called redneck. There is a tour bus that goes around here that says the redneck, the redneck comedy tour bus. And I'm like, that's kind of ripped right off of Foxworthy. But I will

[00:23:19] just let that go. I'm sure Jeff's got so much money to give me shit. But I mean, still, Jelly Roll could start a bar, but Jelly Roll sings. He has a country twang. He's from Tennessee.

[00:23:30] I mean, his songs can be a little crossover. Yeah, it could be. Yeah. There is nothing. No. But then I don't know, maybe do the people from the East coast want to come here and go

[00:23:42] to a Jon Bon Jovi bar? I would think that they'd, they're coming for the country. I'll call Dory. She's my East coast representative. All things Philly or East coast. Dory is contacted and she's very sad because she missed all the Philadelphia flyers dressed up like Rocky

[00:23:59] to enter the building. It was hilarious. Yeah. And she was up there. She could have gone. Yeah. Update. We have some super bad, the children of sorry, children termites, but you have to take responsibility for this because it's your group.

[00:24:17] My group is probably a little over the age of doing bad things. We've already done our bad things. Your group listen to this shit. This is them destroying more things to get attention for

[00:24:30] whatever the cause of the day is. Protesters pour red powder on U.S. constitution enclosure, prompting evacuation of the national archives. Okay. Here's well, here's what I'm going to give the children credit. I don't even know where the national archives are. I am assume they're in

[00:24:49] DC. Um, I do not know what the U.S. constitution enclosure is. I've never had any desire to see the U.S. constitution. I believe it exists. I believe it's a historical piece of paper,

[00:25:02] but I don't really care. Okay. But the national archives buildings and galleries were evacuated at the whole building. Oh my God. Evacuated after two processes dump red powder on the productive protective case around the U.S. constitution. Um, there was no damage to the thing. It's,

[00:25:18] I guess it's behind a thing, you know, they were, um, we are determined to for foment a rebellion. One man says we all deserve clean air, water, food, and a livable climate. Police then led the pair away. Um, the national archives were attended as a sanctuary for our

[00:25:36] nation's founding documents. They are all, they are here for all Americans to view and understand the principles of our nation. Archivist archivist said of the United, uh, Colleen Shogan, we take vandalism very seriously and we will insist that the perpetrators be prosecuted to

[00:25:53] full extent of the law. I mean, do you think that's going to do anything guys? And then here's two more children. Children. These two are very young. They look to be about 21. Um, they threw

[00:26:06] soup at a Monet painting in the city of Leon in France. Um, there, these are, they're climate people in the face of climate emergencies. Anguish is legitimate admitted Leon's mayor in response to the attack there from two activists from repost elementare, which means food counter

[00:26:30] attack through soup. How are we getting soup into these? I don't paint or soup. How are you getting this in these places? Soup's cheaper than paint, but they're not destroying it cause it's hitting the glass. They're just all of this shit's behind glass, but you've fucked it up.

[00:26:55] Somebody has got to get new glass for it. Now I'm sure you can't, I don't know how much windex you can shoot at something, but if it's over a Monet, you probably got to make sure it's new and nice

[00:27:05] like, Hey, there's some streaks over there. You missed a spot. Be like me. What? Trying to do the own my own doors to get the cat paws off. Like, nah, um, the museum can confirm the attacks to

[00:27:18] art news and said that the room was immediately evacuated and the national police arrived to the scene to arrest it too, but they let them ride out. I mean, nothing, something more has

[00:27:26] to happen for them to stop this shit. The paintings protect it's um, it's protected by glass instead, but they're super young and I understand they're upset about the climate, but you know what you'd

[00:27:37] be better doing is go prep protesting at a Fiji factory that's making 9 billion plastic water bottles. Talk about, but I do love Fiji. So if you could not do that one first, there's just gotta be smarter ways than this. This is just, and then here's the last one.

[00:28:00] Botticelli's birth of Venus targeted by climates activists in Florence. Protesters from the action group last generation. They're not even the same group. No, they should at least do that. Call around. Let's get a Facebook page going here. Who's mad about the environment? Join click.

[00:28:23] Um, um, they, these two affixed images of environmental destruction to the glass panel. Well, at least they didn't throw anything, but again, you have tape or something, glue or something. How are we? No, you have to walk in empty handed. Whatever you brought. No, the answer is no.

[00:28:47] Right. That's what I would say. Tough shit. If you don't like it, don't come in the museum. This is a national student led alliance that has selected his name because they consider themselves to be the last generation before reaching a tipping point on the earth's climate

[00:29:03] system. The photos they overlaid over the birth of Venus depicted a flooded, uh, Tuscan town. The government continues to pretend that the fields did not burn in January, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to give them all their credit. Um, I'm just saying, I don't understand security.

[00:29:21] No, I don't understand what is happening. Um, we're going to get to that when I talk about the lady who made it all the way to Los Angeles. That's a bad day. Update. I have a lot of updates

[00:29:34] this week. If you're not prepared for that, you don't care. Sir Rod Stewart. Excellent. If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, sells his entire music catalog for a whooping

[00:29:46] hundred million. Wow. I never pictured Rod as the writer. No, maybe he is. I got to Google it. Sit, put Maggie Mae, see if Rod Stewart wrote that. Okay. I'm curious. I always pictured him

[00:29:59] as just the performer. And if you're just a performer, you can't be selling that. I don't well, you could sell your version, I guess. Um, he's 79. He wrote it. And Martin Quitterton. And Martin Quitterton. Boy, Martin didn't probably, probably wasn't as sexy as Rod.

[00:30:16] That's why nobody knows who Martin is. He's not. Oh, he's not. He could see him. He's not. Okay. Um, so he made a deal with Irving Azoff, who by the way is Stevie's manager, Irving.

[00:30:31] There's a nickname for Irving that makes me laugh very hard, but I don't think I should repeat it. No, I don't think they'll need it. Well, maybe I can repeat. No. All right. We'll save it for a different episode.

[00:30:45] And then when I say two words that make no sense, you'll know code. That was his nickname. And it has a little something with him being short. Tiny bit. He's tiny. Um, so that's who Rod sold it. A hundred million. Well, yeah, good for him.

[00:30:59] I didn't see him as a songwriter. Look at me being prejudiced because he's smoking hot. Um, little update on the, even now he's still sexy. I went to his show. I liked it because why

[00:31:09] chief trick was a, they were, they were as a, uh, they're on the bill. So I went in to see them and they're like, as Dax always says, they're a bar band, like just on steroids are so good.

[00:31:20] I mean, it's like a bar band. And then Rod is a Vegas show. I mean, even when he tried to do a Celtic thing, the drums had giant clovers on them. Like you don't have to go that far with it.

[00:31:31] Rod. We did. Yeah, we get it. There are some Irish dancers and they got, you know, the little things with clovers bonking off their head. We get it. They're doing an Irish dance.

[00:31:40] They don't have to look like leprechauns also just whatever. Yeah. Bagpipes. He, but it is a show you get more than you paid for. I will say there's no, uh, there's no, there's no cheapness

[00:31:54] in the budget there. Rod is bringing everybody. I'm like, all I do is look at it. Cause I, cause I have to pay for these things on a much obviously smaller base, but I'm like,

[00:32:03] fuck, how many hotel rooms do they need? That's the shit that runs through my mind. When they're all coming out. I'm like, there's another double room. There's another one. And how much are we paying extra to get that bagpipe bullshit on an airplane? Who's,

[00:32:18] who's flying them? Who's charging? Yeah. American ain't letting that on for less than 50 bucks. I guarantee you that. Um, so we went through the bands that were nominated for the rock of

[00:32:30] hall hall of fame, but we don't know who the winners are, but Oasis was one of them. And those are the brothers, the Gallagher brothers that fight like cats and dogs. And you know, I watched

[00:32:40] a whole thing on them. I didn't know a lot about them and I'm not sure who's more angry, which brother, like it's confusing. One will be the jerk for awhile. And then the other one will take a

[00:32:50] turn being a jerk, but their music's good. It's just, they never seemed that happy. And so they were nominated and his feelings, he posted fuck the rock and roll hall of fame. And it's, it's full of

[00:33:08] Bumba clarts. I don't even know what a Bumba clart is. What does that mean? See what it means? You think it's going to be in Google? Yeah, it'll be in Google. Yeah. Everything's in Google.

[00:33:24] You want to know what it means in Jamaican? Oh, it's it's oh, it, I should have read it. It means toilet paper. It means ass cloth. Ass cloth. Is that what we're calling toilet paper?

[00:33:36] Yes. It's Jamaican. Okay. Um, he's not the only one to criticize. He's not the only one to criticize it. So did Cher. Remember that she didn't like it and then, uh, cause she hasn't

[00:33:48] been nominated and she should have been. Yeah. Years ago. She's had a hit in every decade. Like, come on if we're not doing rock, if it can be anybody right. Um, yeah. So that was Liam's response. Yeah. Can you imagine sitting there with your coffee? Hey,

[00:34:06] you've been nominated for the thing. Tell him to fuck off. Do you have any sugar? It's just so like violent out of the gate. Like it's the nice thing that's being presented to you.

[00:34:18] If you politely want to decline, fine. But you know, tell those ass cloths I'm busy. Okay. Grandpa, you got it. Uh, update. Remember we got a little overzealous when Russia attacked Ukraine and we took, went and took all their yachts. And then every week on this podcast,

[00:34:39] we talk about how much money it costs to keep said yachts and where are we going to dock them and how much the gas costs. Well, the U S government's now looking to sell them. Oh,

[00:34:50] there's a sale. The government asked a judge for permission to sell a $300 million Russian supersized yacht season 2022. It's costing the PAC taxpayers 600 grand a month to maintain. Yeah. It costs 360 in payments for the 348 foot vessels crew plus 75 grand for fuel

[00:35:13] and 165 grand in other maintenance like waste removal and food. It's called Amadea. It reportedly belongs to Suleiman Karamov. Amadea, Amadea, not Amadeus. Come on. The guy he's worth a billion, he's 57 years old. Um, that's who supposedly owns or

[00:35:36] owned it, but then they can't find the paperwork anyway. They're getting permission. It's going to go through. So if you want to, if you have 300 million now just remember, Oh no, 600. What is

[00:35:48] it? Oh, it's a $300 million. Yeah. So, but it's a steal, you know, go in it's I think it's in San Diego, somewhere down there offering 57,000. This is what I'll take over the payment. So it's

[00:36:02] going to get to that point where you're just going to go. I don't even want the mortgage anymore. I don't want to deal with this shit. And then just they'll have a fire sale. Don't bid yet.

[00:36:11] That's my update. That's my advice. Holy shit. They found it. This is from research assistant Heather in the desert. The recent discovery of wreckage of more than 600 feet deep down in Lake Superior solves one of the mysteries of the SS Arlington, a 240 foot bulk carrier that sank in

[00:36:36] 1940. But while the ship's resting place has finally been found, there's the matter of Captain Frederick Tateybug Burke's last moments. He went down with the ship. His name was Tateybug. I do too. The ship fully loaded with wheat set out on sale on April 30th, 1940 from Port Arthur,

[00:36:55] Ontario paddles. It was bound for Owen Sound, Ontario paddles according to the great Lake Shipwreck Historical Society, which announced the discovery on Monday after dense fog. These great lakes are terrifying, especially at night in the winter. I would just be terrified. A dense

[00:37:13] fog turned into a storm. The ship began to take on water. They don't really explain how that happened. Nope. Right. Burke, the Tateybug, he countermandered an order from the ship's first

[00:37:26] mate to hug the shore. If you hug the shore, if you drive boats, you would know this. The waves are a lot less crazy and you're a lot closer to safety. So, and the wind isn't as bad as if you're in the

[00:37:36] middle. What's the explanation? Yeah. Well, if you, if you're ever caught in a storm, try to hug the bank. That is a normal thing. I don't know why this man did not decide to go along with that idea.

[00:37:48] I don't know. Maybe he was a drinky drunk. About 4.30 AM, the ship started to sink and the chief engineer sounded the alarm. The crew began to abandon ship and everyone except Tateybug made it to safety along the, they got aboard the Collingwood, a large freighter that was also

[00:38:05] on the lake that day. Could the captain have saved himself? I don't know what happened. Uh, Fred Gilbert was quoted saying in 1940, she went down fast. We hardly had time to get lifeboats

[00:38:16] out. The ship was covered with ice. I got my hands frozen, shoving them over. Oh, they said he waved. Tateybug waved at the Collingwood from near his ship's pilot house just before it went down.

[00:38:29] Oh, I don't believe you have to go down with the ship if everybody's off. Yeah. Or not. Pedals. God. You're for the death penalty and you're for saving yourself first. Bye! No, you're the captain. You take all that responsibility. You say, I'll go down with the ship.

[00:38:51] Well, if they're already underwater, what if there's two left? Fuck them. No, I'll get them. You'll do that? Yeah. As long as they haven't already gotten in the water. Oh, what if they're in the water floundering about? Tough shit? No, I'll help them. Okay.

[00:39:06] You, yeah, okay. You were a lifeguard. Well, there you go. Um, we take that oath in Canada. I wonder if he was Canadian. It doesn't say. Old Tateybug. Well, I think he was a hero. You think he's an idiot. There you go.

[00:39:26] Captain Tateybug Burke. All right. Holy shit. They found it. I have one more. A dog walker's bone. Dog walker's bone finds leads to near complete fossil of Titanosaur. Skeleton. Yes, this is crazy. A 70 million a year old dinosaur bone was found by a man walking his

[00:39:50] dog has turned out to be part of a near complete dinosaur fossil. The 25 year old man named Damien Beuchatel stumbled across the bones two years ago while walking in a forest near Mont Toulier in the town of Haral, France. He's a paleontologist, paleontology enthusiast himself.

[00:40:09] He reported the discovery to the local cultural, um, archaeological and paleontological association. It was found that the bone was part of a 30 foot long fossilized Titanosaur, which roamed the land over 70 million years ago. How crazy is that your dog comes back with one bone and you just

[00:40:26] found a Titanosaur? Crazy. Right. Yeah. These things have never happened to me. No. No. No. Like when we had that dog in the Ozarks, I don't know. It'd come back with like a beer can.

[00:40:39] Yeah. Nothing like, well it is the Ozarks. It's the Ozarks. Yeah. But you would think he could find some native American stuff. Osage Indians. I mean, that was the tribe, the Osage. Um, no,

[00:40:48] never found anything. My mom finds a lot of arrowheads. That's her thing. Her and Jeff Foxworthy. My only two friends that are so nerdy. They spend vacation time doing that. Mm hmm. So good for that guy. And then some termites on Twitter. I will never call it X.

[00:41:10] He, by the way, is just, I'll stay with, I will stay with the sinking ship of X, but like it doesn't work like it used to. And yeah. And the follower thing, like you lose followers for no

[00:41:22] reason. I understand the bot cleaning in the beginning and I'm glad we did that and we should keep doing that. But then it gets to the point where you're just like, Oh, you guys are just

[00:41:31] fucking with these numbers. Like whatever. It'll sink or not. Right. That's right. I it's, it's, well, you know, the devil you want the devil. You don't do. I want Elon or do I want the cyborg

[00:41:43] Zuckerberg? Neither. No. Then I lean towards the Chinese on tech talk. And then like I say in my act, they say, Oh, well, they're stealing everything. Your phone, everything in your phone. Okay. Go ahead. I hope the Chinese enjoy a 1300 pictures of cats because that map that

[00:42:00] and then you try to figure out which one's chopper, which one's Cato, which one's Blanco, which one baby cat, baby cat, baby cat. So somebody sent me, I could actually get a job

[00:42:11] doing what I want to do digging for archeological stuff. They have a TV series called digging for Britain, which is rekindled the nation's enthusiasm for what lies beneath our feet. Chances, chance discoveries often by farmers and the work of the metal detectors who scrupulously

[00:42:26] report their fines to leads. And then you, you could, I could go work on there. You don't even have to have any skills. You have skills. I do not have any skills for this. No, I do not.

[00:42:38] They take volunteers. Eight 8,000 people have been participating over the years. It's since 1970. You have, it requires a commitment of two weeks. I could do that. You get two periods in the season

[00:42:53] or four weeks. The two periods do not need to be consecutive. Well, thank you. Cause I still am. Um, I got to apply soon though. Yeah. Yeah. I could go to Sutton who Suffolk.

[00:43:06] Yeah. It's kind of cool though. I'll put the link. If any of you Torites want to do it. I have an update. Tidy bug was Canadian, Irish Canadian, Irish Canadian. See, then he does the right thing. Cause he's a, he's a real true semen. He took the oath.

[00:43:25] News. These are the drunkest fans in the NFL. They rated them all. It made me laugh. And then I sent it to all my friends that are fans of all these various teams. This is not what I would

[00:43:37] have expected at all. If you would have said to me the drunkest, I would have said Pittsburgh. And I say that as a compliment green Bay, except they take the football really seriously. So they, but they do really tailgate beforehand and after. So does Pittsburgh. I know.

[00:43:54] I don't know. I just picture there's just more people in Pittsburgh, I guess. I don't know what I'm thinking. Um, but those would have been a couple of my guests that I would have thrown out.

[00:44:04] Definitely. Yeah. Um, number one, the Tennessee Titan fans. I don't blame it. Well, I have attended a lot of Titans games and here's the thing you need to drink as much as you can

[00:44:16] afford to pretend you're watching another team. That's how I feel about that. Oh, this is not the Titans. These are the Eagles this week. And then in my mind, I changed it. No, here's the weird

[00:44:25] thing. I've been to a million Titans game. I never feel like there's any drunk idiots there. I don't. And there's kids there. It's very family friendly, especially for football. There's not like, like I've been to some Eagles games where shit could get heated. I've been to

[00:44:40] Raiders games where stuff could get, I've seen fights in areas never to Titans game. So, you know, I don't know how there's a whole Jack Daniels thing. There's whiskey bars everywhere. Moonshine shots. The alcohol's there. Number two. Hello, my friend, Brill Crawford. Pittsburgh Steelers.

[00:45:02] The Colts are number three. They are inside. I think you drink more outside. I do. I always drink more outside unless it's freezing, freezing and I can't hold a beer and then I have to go

[00:45:16] find hot liquor. And sometimes that's hard. It was hard at the Chiefs game. I found some sort of hot chocolate infused with Jackfire or something. It was great. Number four, the Atlanta Falcons. I

[00:45:29] don't. Inside. I don't picture it. Five, the New Orleans Saints. Okay. That makes sense to me. The most sober. Kansas City Chiefs. What? Yeah. They have a culture of winning. Well, they tailgate heavily. I mean, I've been they I was just there this year.

[00:45:52] They do eat a lot that might offset the drunky. They have a lot of ribs and barbecue. Everything out there is really good. The most sober, the Washington Commanders. Well, as Louis Black

[00:46:03] would agree with me, you should get the most drunk if you have to sit there and watch the commanders week and their name, the commanders. What a horrible choice. Number three, the Giants,

[00:46:13] the New York Giants. I don't know. Never been kid. Don't know enough about it for Baltimore Ravens. What's going on, Baltimore? Your team's good. I think when you leave the stadium, it's dangerous.

[00:46:24] When you leave the stadium is downtown Baltimore and number five, the Los Angeles Chargers. I do not picture that at all. I never picture people in California being like Midwest or East Coast

[00:46:35] drinkers. I just don't because they don't and they don't love beer. Like I mean, there's people that love beer, but I mean like a lot of the bars, it's not like where, I don't know. It's easier to

[00:46:46] find a fancy cocktail in Los Angeles than it is to find a whole shit like a beer bar where there's like a hundred beers. That is not easy to find. I just cannot believe the Titans took the number

[00:46:58] one spot. Speaking of sports and then we'll move on from sports. Adam Silver, he's in charge of the NBA. He's revealed six cities being considered for NBA teams, for expansion teams. Here's the rumors. Las Vegas, that makes sense. Seattle, they lost to Supersonics. Where'd they go?

[00:47:24] Who'd they become? Supersonics. The Kraken's the best new name that anybody's come up in a long, within a long time, I think. Oklahoma City. They went to Oklahoma City. Okay, I thought New

[00:47:39] Orleans had to go to Oklahoma City after Katrina. I made that up. You did. Okay. Fake news. Fake news. I'm here for it. I'm here to deliver it. I'm here to listen to it. Mexico City? Oh no. Why not?

[00:47:56] Well, there's border problems there. Border problem? Nah, they fly them in a private jet. They land. Here's our 38 passports. Here's the tall people. Yeah. Vancouver? They would do well, I think. The Grizzlies went to Memphis though. Remember?

[00:48:13] Oh yeah, they went to Memphis. Yeah, they lost it. I don't think you would be considered for another team if you already lost a team and I say that coming from St. Louis and we have lost two

[00:48:22] football teams. A lot going on there. It's a lot of problems there. The next city? Nashville. Oh, wonderful. Well, they're looking for cities that have the corporate money. Nashville does have a lot of corporate money, but I don't know how much people care about basketball. They care

[00:48:38] about college sports. That's the thing with the South. The South gives all of their shits to college. Even the Titans loyalty is not like any other cities I've been to. Like it's just

[00:48:49] they like them and they want them to do good, but it's not like their passion for the tennis, you know, the Knoxville. Right. And then Montreal is being considered. I don't see. Montreal is a little artsy fartsy. I love Montreal. I love old city Montreal the best,

[00:49:15] but it's kind of Frenchy. They just yeah, you lost the Expos. Well, I didn't. You did. Alabama. I love Alabama for reasons like this. The whole South is constantly just a hold my beer. One state

[00:49:34] does dumps up dump. The next state does dump dumber. And Missouri, I can't even I'll get to that in a minute about our amount of dump. This one's funny dump dump. Alabama a station in disbelief after 200 foot radio tower was stolen.

[00:49:56] How the fuck do you do that? Did you not hear motors? Thieves stole a 200 foot radio tower and other equipment from a building. The station WJLX sent a landscaping crew on the site Friday for spring cleaning only to find out that the 200

[00:50:13] foot radio tower was gone. Go clean that tower. Come on. When a crew member called the station's general manager to break the news, he was in disbelief. What do you mean the tower's gone?

[00:50:24] Are you sure you're in the right place? OK, you who are you talking to that you think didn't go to the right place? There's only so many radio towers within this area. OK, he said. I actually

[00:50:36] use more colorful words than that. Brett Elmore recounted NBC News. He said there's wires all over the ground and the tower is gone. Not only was a radio tower stolen, but a nearby building was

[00:50:46] also vandalized when Elmore heard the door that the door was left to jar. That's when reality was starting to set in that something bad had happened. The thieves stole every piece of equipment from the building, including a transmitter. Elmore has filed a police report. There was a meeting

[00:51:01] yesterday between the owner and the investigators considering the matter. So and so said at this point we're still lacking information. We still have to kick out a full fledged investigation.

[00:51:09] You guys can't even afford a ring doorbell to put out there. I mean, this is your radio tower. But also what is someone going to do with this is my favorite part that nobody ever follows up on

[00:51:19] when hillbillies commit a crime. The idea is thought out, but usually only about 32 percent. Right. And then that other percent is just they it's like it's like on January 6th when you bust

[00:51:36] it into the Senate. Now what? Are you going to form your own government? There is no plan. So these people who stole this, I want follow up. I want an update. Unfortunately, the site was not

[00:51:49] insured. They have no insurance on their shit. What? We're a small market station, but we're going to get back. We're going to go back on the air as soon as we possibly can. But come on,

[00:52:00] Alabama. Let's do it. Go fund me. I'll be there in Huntsville this weekend. I'll start it. I'm going to start it so you can get your radio back. This is bullshit. It doesn't say what town it's in.

[00:52:12] Let's talk about the ticketless passenger. Yes. I just nobody knows this is all local. No, this made national news because it's the second. It's the second time now, like in a month that's happened somewhere else. The other one wasn't Nashville.

[00:52:27] I need a drink of my Bloody Mary. It's melting. That's not my old. My old the vodka is wonderful and my old bases and he's floating to the bottom and I can't have that.

[00:52:37] No, a woman managed to bypass DSA security checkpoint to board a flight to L.A. last week, all without a boarding pass. She had nothing. They say the woman who's not been charged of Thursday as of Thursday. Why aren't you charged? Right. Why aren't you arrested?

[00:52:57] Hopped over one of the stations. She's not arrested. It said she's not been charged. She might have been arrested, but I don't know if she's been officially charged. She hopped over one of the security stanchions in Nashville International Airport bypassing.

[00:53:10] By the way, Nashville just spent all all of their pesos saving up all their money to build a beautiful brand new one one entryway. It used to be different. Like you go southwest. Your

[00:53:23] security was over here. Delta is over here. Now it's all one shebang and it's supposed to be the highest end of all technology. The new things that look like cat scan machines absolutely suck. Everybody knows it, including the TSA people, because any time I throw a tiny fit,

[00:53:40] just a tiny fit that well, they all agree they hate it, too. And they'll tell you that if they like you enough. She said she blended in back into the security line after bypassing the first

[00:53:56] checkpoint. Well, I will say from going to the national airport, a shit ton. Once they look at your stuff, but I'm saying look at your stuff. Sometimes the lines kind of converge all together

[00:54:09] and it's is a bit of a cluster. But I don't know how you made it past the podium. She went where there was no podium. She jumped. Nobody noticed that. Exactly. Hey, who's Mary Lou Retton down

[00:54:21] there flying over our stanchions? God, she did a backflip. They said there was nothing illegal or suspicious on her person or her bags. She continued away from the security checkpoint without

[00:54:32] incident. Once inside, the woman was able to board a flight to L.A.. The FBI's Los Angeles field office confirmed. It's pretty astonishing to tell you the truth. So and so a traveler from Florida

[00:54:43] said TSA obviously failed at their job. The problem is they have like four new ones that aren't in action yet. Way down at the end. I'm imagining that's where she like jumped over something.

[00:54:54] Nobody noticed it. But the thing is about I'm only five foot tall. It's three and a half feet high. Yeah, so your jump, your jump should be noticed. It's not like I hopped over a one foot thing.

[00:55:11] TSA is reviewing this. Now I'm going to act like one of the serious people. TSA is reviewing the circumstances of this matter, but can confirm that the traveler in question was physically screened along with their carry on items without incident at the Nashville

[00:55:23] Airport. Right, right. They're cooperating with the ongoing law enforcement and the TSA and the statement TSA also said airlines are responsible for barring unticketed travelers from their flights. Oh, now you're going to try to put it on the airline. Yes, they are equally

[00:55:36] responsible for allowing that woman on without a boarding pass. I but she shouldn't have gotten there. But how also did she get on the plane? I don't know. I mean, like when you stand in line

[00:55:47] and you show them your boarding pass, she followed someone, it said. But how did somebody wasn't paying attention or spirit? No, I think it's American. A similar incident occurred last year when a Russian man flew from Europe to L.A. without a ticket. A spokesperson for the FBI

[00:56:06] said the woman was detained in question. Well, how did they know when she landed? This is the other thing I don't understand. How did why was she detained in L.A. if nobody knew she was this

[00:56:15] invisible customer? Right. How they find that out, they do a head count and go, shit, we have an extra person, but we've already taken off. They do a head count. They don't do a head count on

[00:56:28] those big ones. I believe it was American on the big ones. They have to know they don't. Yes, they do. Any of our tour mates that work. Well, if they do a head count, they fuck that

[00:56:39] up, too, because they left with an extra person. Many things were fucked up. A hundred to one, it's American. It doesn't say. But they're the ones with the most direct flights to L.A. out of Nashville. True. American. American. Mm hmm. You know who it wasn't? Delta.

[00:56:57] It wasn't Delta. It wasn't my precious Delta. Don't ever speak bad of Delta. This this this this idea has since I've printed this down, has come down crashing like like a bad firework. A bill working its way through the Tennessee legislature could put a chill on coal

[00:57:20] bills for sales in the state. Oh, my God. I don't know whose idea this was. Well, I'm going to tell you. But on the list of bad ideas you can bring to work on Monday, I would have told this guy,

[00:57:33] I don't know what happened over the weekend, but you need to take that idea and just go home and think about yourself and think about what you just said out loud. According to a summary on the

[00:57:44] state website, SB, this bill they're proposing prohibits a beer permittee from selling at retail refrigerated or cold beer. It passed by two voters in the Senate was referred to to a committee. It was introduced by Senator Paul Rose and Representative Ron Gant, who represent parts

[00:58:02] of West Tennessee near the Memphis area. They don't want people to have to be able to sell cold beer like a gas station. Right. Because they think you're automatically going to drink it in

[00:58:14] the car. I'm going to slam it right out of the airport. I'm getting out of this airport. I'm so tired. I'm going to stop at 7-Eleven. Maybe I have done this. You would think, by the way,

[00:58:25] I just said that, that maybe I have been known to do that. That just, you know, but most of the time you're buying cold beer because it's on your way to somewhere where you're going to open

[00:58:37] the beer when you get there. Oh, it's a Super Bowl party. What am I going to do to bring fucking hot beer if I forgot to go get it beforehand? I got to go get it. You won't be popular. You will not be

[00:58:47] a popular person. He said it might not fix the problem, but it makes the alcohol less readily available. Or people just put coolers in their car. Listen, people work around laws. We see the

[00:59:01] evidence of many accidents where alcohol is found in the car. Beer cans, beer bottles. And as we see it on the side of the road and many of our roads across the gun and across the state and every

[00:59:12] country, you see many beer bottles, beer cans that litter our highways. Stop it. You can't make this about littering. Fuck off. He's trying to make it about littering. Every once in a while, you don't

[00:59:21] see it like you did in the 70s. But in the 70s, everybody threw everything out their windows. I remember my dad like on vacations going, give me all that McDonald's trash. And we'd all pass it

[00:59:30] from the back of the station wagon and he just winging out the window. And I'm like, oh, my God. Even as a kid, I was like, you probably could have waited till we got to the next gas station

[00:59:38] and put it in a trash can. And then they came out with the ad with that Native American guy crying about littering and people actually paid attention to it. Yeah, that guy. My favorite anti-littering

[00:59:49] person was Lady Bird Johnson. I wish she was the first lady because she said, stop littering and stop. That was her thing. Stop littering. Stop throwing bad shit out your windows. Instead,

[01:00:03] I, Lady Bird Johnson, am a huge fan of the Texas blue bonnet wildflower and it can grow anywhere, basically. It's kind of almost a weed and every American received seeds in the mail.

[01:00:16] I'm about that. That's what I'm about. See, I want to see if I throw seeds out a window of my car, will shit start growing up and down the road that I live on or maybe the highway.

[01:00:29] And then the breweries went crazy. The gas stations went crazy. They have a saying, cold is gold for the beer. Yeah, this isn't, it's already dying a slow death, but I mean,

[01:00:41] you're going to take cold beer out of every gas station, every, what does that mean? Target too, or whoever. I mean, I don't know. Liquor laws are so different in every state. If I ever did a one

[01:00:51] woman show, which I will never do, it would be on liquor laws because some of them are so ridiculous that it's hilarious. The shit you have to do to get alcohol in some places. It really made me glad

[01:01:01] I grew up in Missouri. Alcohol is available anywhere, everywhere. Gas stations, grocery stores, there's not these separate stores, state run communistic liquor bullshit. Oh, you can buy your beer here. Then you got to get your car. If you want a bottle of something for your friends,

[01:01:17] you're going to need to go over there and then, oh my God. Um, liquor laws. Um, it there there's, they're very, very strange. I didn't had no idea until I started going on the road as a comedian.

[01:01:33] And I remember in the state of Washington, the comic I was with, I don't remember his name. He was like, well, I want to get some liquor, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, why didn't we get it in

[01:01:41] there? In the grocery store? He's like, there's no liquor in there. I'm like, what? Where are we? We had to go to, um, a state run liquor store. Yeah. And I'm like, why is there ever a sale?

[01:01:54] If the state's running it, there's not, if it says there a sale is bullshit. It's not really a sale. You just overpriced it to begin with. That's all you did. Here's some sad news for those of you

[01:02:06] that are fans of Pop-Tarts. William, William, William Post, the inventor of the Pop-Tart died at age 96. Yup. Seinfeld's doing a whole movie about this. I read about it. Yeah. About Pop-Tarts.

[01:02:22] He did as a child, apparently he has a joke about it. Uh, this guy worked as a plant manager for Michigan based Heckman biscuit company later known as Keebler. When Kellogg's asked the company to

[01:02:33] create a new breakfast product, the Pop-Tart inventor began his career as a part-time worker in high school, washing trucks at Heckman. After serving in the army air corps in occupied Japan

[01:02:42] during World War II, he returned to the company and worked up the corporate ladder. By 21, he was a personnel manager of the company and worked on all aspects of the business, including sales and production. That's when Kellogg's executives approached him. The executives had an idea of

[01:02:54] something like a piece of pie in the shape of a slice of bread, four marks around the edge, two pieces of dough with some filling in it. He took the idea and turned it into a real product.

[01:03:04] That's awesome. I love Pop-Tarts, hot or cold. I don't even care. I know he, he, he said, he said, I assembled an amazing team that developed Kellogg's concept of the shelf stable toaster

[01:03:18] pastry in a fine product we could bring. I'm sure they're not good for you because I have had some in my golf bag and they were just fine two years later. Just saying. Not even crunchy. But I like

[01:03:26] that. I don't care. They debuted in 1964. That's awesome. Yeah. You're almost as old as Pop-Tarts. I'm one year older than Pop-Tarts. Yeah. No, one year younger. I was gonna say. Yeah, see?

[01:03:41] That's why I can't do the math. Yeah, I'm not correcting your math anymore. The original flavors were strawberry, love it. Blueberry, pretty good. Brown sugar cinnamon, that's for my mom. And apple currant, no. Gross.

[01:03:53] Yeah. They've sold 3 billion in, in 2022. That's how many Pop-Tarts, 3 billion. Post moved to the Illinois, to Illinois and began working at Keebler Corporate Offices. He retired as a senior vice president at 56 but stayed on as a consultant for the next 20 years. Bye bye Bill. Thank you for

[01:04:09] your contribution to the United States of American culture. I am going to get into, I keep saying I'm going to tell you guys about Satoshi Nakamoto, which is a name we don't even know if it's a real person, but there's an Australian man named Craig Wright who claims

[01:04:26] that he is Satoshi. There's a big court drama going on right now and it's way too complicated. I understand it but I also am into crypto and into Bitcoin. It's too hard to break down

[01:04:36] for people who aren't interested and maybe will never be interested. But what I can tell you simply is this man claims he invented it and right now there's billions about, um, uh, 96 billion in a crypto account that he claims is his. So this claim,

[01:04:55] but he has to prove you're Satoshi and they're really, I don't know, the shit that they keep showing up in it that's shown in the trial, I'm like, well, I don't know. I mean, it seems like

[01:05:08] it could be him, but why isn't anyone else coming forward and saying, no, it's me with more proof? Now that's not the reason to find the man, um, telling the truth or not, but you can't compare

[01:05:23] it to what isn't being said. But I do think it's odd if someone else is Satoshi, why they aren't coming forward and saying this guy's full of shit. Um, the thing is going on in London, but

[01:05:36] I'm going to, um, there's a bunch of people that say he's just falsifying the whole thing. He's forged documents that go way back. Yep. Uh, I don't know. He looks like your standard issue, white guy roaming around probably good at computers. You could look at him and think,

[01:05:55] yeah, I bet he's a computer guy. Um, the original Bitcoin, but it was published in 2008. That's when crypto became alive, which by the way, it's on fire right now. If you're, if you, if you have

[01:06:09] Ethereum or Bitcoin, it's insane. Do you have a lot of money? Would you like to buy an English castle? I got one for sale. It's 12 million. I've seen a lot of auction items that have sold for a

[01:06:24] lot more that are ridiculous. That's all that's cheap for what you're getting. Yeah. Applebee castle in the UK has had a slew of owners since it's 900 year lifespan. And now you can be one, located in Cumbria, a County in Northwest England, bordering Scotland. The centuries old

[01:06:42] structure has hit the, Ooh, if it's boarding Scotland though, you gotta get chilly. It's not like anywhere they're super warm, but it is tend to be colder up there. Um, it's hit the market for 12 million originally built in the 12th century. The historic spread hasn't changed

[01:06:56] hands in 27 years since it was scooped up by the seller, Sally Nightingale. Doesn't that sound so, doesn't that sound so British? Oh, let's go over to Sally Nightingale. She turned the castle into a hotel in 2013 following her divorce, but left a 7,700 square

[01:07:16] foot wing for herself. Set on 25 acres within the picturesque Eden Valley, the grade one listed property is positioned on the edge of the Lake District, England's largest national park. Ooh, wow. You won't have neighbors. Nobody can build. It's a varied history goes back all the way to

[01:07:37] Roman times. It was most famously owned by Hugh de Moorville, a knight known for assassinating Thomas Beckett, Archbishop of Canterbury. It fell into the hands of another family. Um, it's unique.

[01:07:50] It, I don't know. I even if there were just two of you though, it would just be, um, cold. There's a traditional Norman, uh, century round tower, three cottages, a wall garden and

[01:08:02] a tennis court. Better change that to pickle ball or nobody's buying it. Nobody's coming over to play tennis anymore. She turned the entire grounds into a pickleball thing. Um, she's restored and converted, um, a big area into a museum park. Um, 22 bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, 20,000 square feet of

[01:08:25] living space inside the castle is a bit, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, uh, they have a gym, a hot tub game room. Um, so do you right? Have fun storming the castle. I like it. I like it. I like

[01:08:38] it. Um, very fun. Um, can we, well, how much time do I have? Okay. Lots of time. Well, I have a lot of stuff. Okay. This is crazy. Oh, I forgot to say too. Sorry. I'm going to hopscotch a little bit here.

[01:09:00] If you haven't watched feud, I already talked about it. The man who plays Truman Cavote, Jessica Lange is in it. Callista Flockhart, all these women that were really good actors. And then Demi Moore is in it. Um, uh, Chloe Savigne. I probably don't ever say that right. Um,

[01:09:18] you'll it's just amazing. Oh, who? Oh, Diane Lane. Yeah. She's a big, big player in this. And they're just for not the whole thing is phenomenal. But if you'd like to extend on that,

[01:09:32] you can go watch the Capote tapes. She's also fun. 90% of time on this podcast, I like to talk about positive things. Not like an over optimistic person. I can't stand being around. That's not me.

[01:09:46] When somebody says, Oh, I'm so driven and blah, blah, blah. My first thought is you need medication. That's why I think there's something wrong with you. Like if you want to do that much in a day,

[01:09:54] you're running from something. Uh, where's the break? Where's beer time? I don't understand what the anyway. Um, I watched, I got tricked. I don't usually speak negatively. I got tricked by Nicole Kidman because I think Nicole Kidman is just a wonderful actor. I've never not liked anything

[01:10:13] Nicole Kidman has done. And the acting in this thing was phenomenal. There just didn't see there. It's called expat. I believe it was on Netflix. There should have been a warning for normal

[01:10:25] people. This is a weird art house film. You will not understand the beginning, the middle or the end. Um, four episodes and when it was over, I'm like, what? What the fuck just happened?

[01:10:41] Nicole was great. The guy who plays her husband is great. Everybody in it was a good actor. I'm not saying anything shitty about the acting. It was just the dumbest. I was so mad. I'm like,

[01:10:52] ah, they should put a H art house on those kinds of movies so that the art house people who like that kind of shit and they want to study acting and all that. Great. You go do that. I need feud.

[01:11:04] I need some little man playing the gayest man on earth ever running around smoking and just going, I don't know. This is crazy. I want that. I don't want. So I'm just saying if you're not,

[01:11:15] and the other thing I did watch, just be in watching a night of pop. That was a fun. It's about the day they made that the night they made the, um, song. We are the world. The biggest

[01:11:26] reason to watch it in my opinion is to watch Bob Dylan in the midst of it all. Just going, I didn't know what's happening. He did not fit. I, and he was so patient. The swing went on all

[01:11:39] night long, like till six in the morning. I still, I don't know how Lionel Richie is as productive and smart as he is, but he is. He's wonderful in the documentary. I preferred him as a Commodore,

[01:11:50] but, uh, as an individual artist, he had some hits. I just didn't like the dancing on the ceiling. The Commodores were better, but he's wonderful in the show. The look on Bob Dylan's

[01:12:00] face. And then I saw somebody cause the whole thing through, he's just holding his paper like this. Is it my turn? Am I supposed to, I won't say anything because he can't hit those notes.

[01:12:11] It's how he sings. Well, somebody put on Instagram a picture of a clip from the show and it's Bob just looking at his notes like this. And the thing says, when you've dropped acid and the acid starts

[01:12:24] to wear off and you realize you've joined a children's choir, it's so worth it. It's a trip down memory lane. Cindy Lauper and Bruce Springsteen and Michael. There's a lot of Michael for the children. Everybody's in it. There were people I forgot that were there. That's just a

[01:12:46] fun brainless. Um, anyway, so that's enough about what I, but I, I just keep, I can't say enough good things about feud. It's just so great. Um, and it comes out on Wednesdays. So you have to be

[01:12:59] patient and wait for the next one. And we're getting to the end. I'm almost to the end. So I know he's going to die soon cause I know what age he died and I know what happened. And, um,

[01:13:08] I'm very sad cause then it's just going to be over. I don't have anything good new to binge. That's my baby dragon. It's a dragon being born. This is crazy. So this is what made me think of

[01:13:24] it. Cause I loved that, that, uh, I think it was like a five up three to five episode thing called Chernobyl. And then if you really like that, you should go to YouTube and watch the babushkas

[01:13:34] of Chernobyl. These are the old ladies that never left and they live. It's un-fucking-believable. Yeah, a long, long time ago I talked about it, but if there's new people, anyway, so, you know,

[01:13:47] it was so sad in Chernobyl cause they ran around the town and shot all the dogs, right? Well, some lived. That's good news. And nature will do its thing. Mutant wolves exposed to Chernobyl disaster have evolved a new superpower. They're cancer resistant. What? Yeah. So maybe we all

[01:14:06] need to go live by a nuclear power plant, have it go off, try to survive and then see if we're cancer resistant. Uh-huh. Yeah. Um, a team of researchers found the animals at the, uh, Chernobyl evacuation zone. There's some tic-tac-toes sneaking in there too. That's your science kicking

[01:14:23] in. The children. Yeah, that's my science. Well, if it happened to them, why not us? Like that thing on fire at four o'clock. They have genetically altered their immune systems and show a resilience to cancer. These findings gave hope to researchers that the result can be

[01:14:43] used to find cure for human cancer patients. That's awesome. And they have black wolves there too. And those are the most awesome looking, I think. Um, since the power plant explosion in 1986, humans were evacuated from Chernobyl and their surrounding areas to avoid extreme levels of

[01:14:56] radiation. The absence of human has allowed the wildlife to flourish and thrive in the zone, which contains 11 million, uh, sorry, 11 millirem of radiation, six times the allowed exposure amount for human workers. Grizzly bears and bison stroll among the trees. Lynx and fox slink along

[01:15:14] the grass. Bears, boar, elk, and raccoons and more than 200 species of bird call the area, birds call the area home. That's great for the animals. Yeah, that's great. They're probably having the biggest party ever. They're like, remember before 1986 when all those asshole

[01:15:28] people were here? This is phenomenal. Look at us go. We're cancer resistant. We're changing colors. The frogs are black now. They've changed the green ones. Yep. Their skin for some reason has

[01:15:38] turned black. Wow. Okay. Well, you'd blend in I guess just as good as green. Um, so there you go. Go watch Chernobyl and then watch that. Um, we're going to talk about this SAT thing next time

[01:15:56] because it's a little more than I really had anticipated. And I also think I did tell you, I'd tell you the number one spring break destinations though. This one surprised me. The only reason I am hyper aware of spring break is because I have to travel every week

[01:16:10] and the children start arriving at the airport in March. My favorite two months to fly are January and February because it's just business people. Nothing against the families, nothing against vacation, nothing against spring breakers in general. It's just, I have to travel for work.

[01:16:26] They're all not. And then the tickets are more expensive and it's crowded and it's crazy. But anyway, the children start a spring break. It seems like now it goes, it seems like it can go anywhere

[01:16:38] from March 1st to April 15th. Yeah. It becomes longer and longer and longer. And then they work around Easter. Yeah. The number one destination and I would have totally picked somewhere in

[01:16:51] Florida. It's not, it's New Orleans. Stop it. Yeah. Are you kidding? I'm not. It's also the most dangerous. Right. Well, and it's going to be super dangerous if you're one of the drunk girls. Yes. I have sat

[01:17:11] on Bourbon street at a hotel. I've sat up on, there's a hotel that has little balconies. Well, a lot of them do. And I've watched like a drunk girl go down the wrong street or off the main

[01:17:24] drag. And I think, you know, you, I wish I had a bullhorn as an old person to go. Turn around. You are in harm's way. Hello. I am speaking to you from this balcony. I have drank also tonight,

[01:17:40] but I am not wandering around in high heels that are now in my hands. Yeah, I do. I see that shit. I don't know. I love New Orleans and I feel safe, but I know what to

[01:17:51] do. But I, as a drunk 20 something, I might not have known any of that. Right. And you think you're just doing nothing. You take your heels off and you're wandering home. And then I'm like, you're

[01:17:59] going to get, there's Nate, there's, there's bad things on these streets. As far as your feet go, you don't want to step on you anyway. Kidney robbers. Remember all that? People robbing kidneys. I don't know if I believe that. Yeah, it was in the nineties.

[01:18:13] I know. My sister said that once when I was going to Vegas. Well, don't let anybody come in your room because they're, they're going to steal your kidneys. What did you just say?

[01:18:25] First of all, who would I be allowing in my room? Second of all, maybe another comic, but I've never heard of another comedian stealing someone's kidneys. They put you in an ice bath. I don't know that I believe that. I think that's a rumor.

[01:18:41] Urban legend. Yeah. But I think they'll steal your purse. I think you could get beat up or raped or not just New Orleans. I'm saying any area where there's drunk girls and a couple break off from

[01:18:51] the crowd, you can't let your friends break off. Nashville. Nashville. Yeah. But Nashville is safer than New Orleans. You can go down side streets in Nashville and the odds are nothing bad is going to

[01:19:01] happen. And I say this loving New Orleans more than any city in America. It is my favorite city by a million spooky, haunted history, the cemeteries, the Catholic thing, the all of it. I love it. The architecture bring on the Frenchies. Let's do it. They're just wonderful.

[01:19:24] The food, the music, the vibe. But you know, with that comes some danger. It's the most popular. New Orleans also had the worst safety scores, especially for night time out of all the popular spring dishes. I would say if you just start drinking early, go out for breakfast,

[01:19:43] start with a mimosas. Just get your ass home by midnight. And then I think you're okay. Right. But I say that as a parent would do, I wouldn't as if I was a parent to someone,

[01:19:54] but I also wouldn't say that if it was my daughter's not being sexist, but they're probably not going to be as strong as your sons. I would say you need to be home by 11. And then as a girl,

[01:20:03] I would have said to my parents, that is bullshit. How can he get down there? Anyway, in 2022, New Orleans had the highest murder rate in the United States. However, homicides dropped. We're getting better. 27% last year from 266 to 193 in 2003. That was good. Then here's the next ones.

[01:20:22] The four most popular after New Orleans. Shocking. How rich are the children? That's all I kept thinking reading this. Punta Cana. What? I didn't go there until I was like 45. And it was work. It

[01:20:35] was a corporate gig. Dominican Republic, another place I went with John Panett for a corporate gig. Las Vegas. Vegas can be cheap and affordable. I get it. Go downtown. Beers are still five bucks. It's fine. That one I understand being affordable for normal college

[01:20:53] kids. How about this one? Maui. How rich are the children? They're all living at home. And then the last one, Cabo San Lucas. Okay. That's fine. That's like the Midwest people can get there. Yeah. I mean, I would have said Fort Lauderdale, Panama City,

[01:21:16] the Panhandle for sure. Yeah, this is a crazy list. Besides New Orleans, the four most dangerous spring break destinations are San Juan, Puerto Rico. I've been to Puerto Rico, but I wasn't in

[01:21:31] San Juan. I went and did another corporate gig at some fancy resort. Nassau, the Bahamas? I've never been. Been on a cruise. Maui is dangerous. Maui? And Montego Bay, Jamaica. I know that is, yeah. Jamaica's dangerous. Yeah, Jamaica to leave the resort. My friend went with me and

[01:21:53] they were like, yeah, you should take the van and it drops you off at the back of the restaurant in the alley. And then when you're done eating, call the resort van. Wow. Yeah. I was

[01:22:01] like, okay, this is weird. Yeah. We're gonna, we have two feel good stories. Yeah. These make me happy for my people. Meaning Delta. Okay. And then I got to do my thank yous and then my quotes.

[01:22:26] So whatever timeline you're on, that's what's happening. With no words, Delta Airlines CEO, Ed Bastien or Basten? Bastain. Bastain just taught the most important kind of leadership and employees are thrilled. On Wednesday, Delta paid its employees their share of 2023 profits,

[01:22:46] totally 1.4 billion. It's an annual tradition. Yay. Shout out to Kim and the, yay. What about Yvonne and the Atlanta? These are the bars, by the way, these are the Delta clubs. I'm shouting out my friends. Tony, go get it, man. Get your money. They paid their employees more

[01:23:03] than 11 billion in total. It's also the seventh time Delta has paid more than 1 billion in profit sharing. It seems obvious if you work for Delta today was a good day. Delta says this year's profit sharing is equal to 10.4% of your employees eligible compensation. That's right. That means

[01:23:20] they'll receive more than a month's worth of pay as a one-time bonus. How awesome is this? Love it. This is how you keep a good- Workforce. Yes. Yeah. I mean, the ones in the lounge you graduate as you get older, as you like,

[01:23:33] I like that the friends in the lounge are my age, the ones that work there because they're like, I can't deal with the actual general public anymore. I can't. They put in their time and

[01:23:44] then they're like, can I go to the Delta lounge where people who fly every goddamn week are there that are just normal flyers? I can't deal with the spring break children and 27, yeah, whatever. Flying in first class.

[01:23:56] It's just great. And I always think, because sometimes I do corporate gigs and people reward their salespeople with this vacation somewhere. And it could be fun and it could be nice, but it's also, I bet they'd rather just had 10 grand. Oh my God, yeah.

[01:24:13] I don't know. I mean, maybe they're fun, but they have to attend little functions and shit. I wouldn't want to do all that. You don't want to party with your best friends.

[01:24:21] So good for Delta. I'm going to ask the kids in the lounge next week how excited they are. Here's my feel good story. A cat lost for four years turns up over 150 miles from Northern Ireland home. Wow. They found it.

[01:24:38] The beloved cat who disappeared in November of 2019 from the family in Banger County down on Northern Ireland coast turned up last week in Galway in Western Ireland. That's all the way across country. Yep.

[01:24:50] A man in the village of Moy Cullen noticed a stray roaming around the outside of the super value supermarket appeared ill and took him to a vet, a local vet. He had the cat flu. He was very docile but friendly.

[01:25:00] He had a bit of pain and he was tense, but he still wanted human attention. The cat had a microchip, but a search of Ireland's pet database yielded nothing. Then they tried Europe net because Northern Ireland is technically part of the EU.

[01:25:14] So it wouldn't be in Ireland per se. It covers 26 European countries and they found a match. They discovered his name was Blueberry. He was 10 years old and he started his odyssey four years earlier more than 150 miles away. That's great. I know.

[01:25:32] I think if I don't get these cats fed every single day at a certain time, they're all going to die. That's how I think this cat made it four years on his own. You're good. Right. My quote, feral cat needs a man up.

[01:25:44] Blueberry went on a trip with no money, no food, no luggage. Came home. Boom. He's fine. He looks very healthy. He's quite stocky. She couldn't believe it. The lady said when they called the family, Hannah Smith, they retrieved their pet for this week's joyous homecoming.

[01:26:04] He was still in shock. He knew it was us as soon as the girls brought him out. He started with the head butts. He was a bit out of it when we first saw him, but he seems to be back to himself by now. That's great. Yeah.

[01:26:16] All right. So here's my thank yous from Talking Stick. Yeah, I was like, where was I? Where are you now? Melinda and Stacey, a 3D printed Bigfoot. Oh, I got to ship that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Molly, originally from Table Rock area. That's in Missouri.

[01:26:39] Golf ball stickers. Vicki and Susan, a cat house, a cat card. Cat house card. Oh, when I opened it, yeah. They even had one of their hairless cats in there. Jackie and Stevie, Tucson termites. They came from Tucson. Good. Cat socks, wizard socks.

[01:26:54] It was a whole bunch of stuff. Patty and Laura, it's a squirrel playing a banjo t-shirt. Love it. And it's a girl shirt because some t-shirts... That was nice. Yeah, it's a girl cut. So it looks cute instead of like a giant t-shirt.

[01:27:09] The two Julies, local church music IPA. Jamie and Beth. Oh, the candy. Yeah. All that, it was good. It was good. Yeah, it was prickly pear candy and taffy. I couldn't eat the taffy though. I've spent too much on grounds and canals. I can't do that anymore.

[01:27:27] But the kids will like it. Beth and Joan, cold beer, the local beers in a tiny cooler. I love it. You should see when those security people bring it back and they're like holding a mini cooler. They're like, does this happen a lot? I'm like, yeah, it does.

[01:27:39] Just put it there. You guys will get some. I can't take it all home. Dale and Lisa, they gave me a golf hat and Kelly brought some Guinness. Chris was into that. Because I'm like, Chris, what kind of beer do you want backstage? Chris, the other comic.

[01:27:54] He's like a Coors Banquet. No, no, we are not in Colorado. Pick again, Chris. Guinness? You're impossible. God, what do you think you are, Mick Jagger? Pick a fucking normal beer, Chris. They had Coors Banquet in a bottle. I could, it's a fat little bottle. It was adorable.

[01:28:15] Michelle, oh, the Dolly Parton activity book. They sell it at Cracker Barrel and a bunch of other stuff. Rose, oh, but the friendship bracelets from Tay Tay. And then the stuff in the mail. Somebody sent me this and I don't know who. And I love it.

[01:28:29] It's like a boat bag and it's got the Chiefs and these are like boat ropes. It's adorable, but it didn't... It's a cooler. It's a cool... Yeah, it's waterproof. It says, oh, oh, it's from Maine. Yeah. Look at that. Kansas City Chiefs.

[01:28:41] It's adorable, but I don't know who sent it, so thank you. Amber, Sharon and Ken. Oh, the Elmo's spicy sauce. It's right over there. Yes. And I can't wait to go to Indy just to go there. Oh my God, the shrimp cocktail.

[01:28:55] Mike, more of that Haribo's, even though I say booze. Stacey. You can run direct to come, Haribo's. Haribo's, I can... Yeah, Stacey, a Walmart gift card for what? The cats. Nice. That's where I go for the cat stuff. Very sweet. Yeah.

[01:29:10] And Hillary all the way from West Virginia. I'll be pausing some stickers. So thank you all shouting out everybody who brought stuff. There is more stuff too. Sometimes it just gets a little confusing and then sometimes everybody gets into it before I get off stage.

[01:29:22] And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn't organize that. Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, easy, easy. You can't drink that. I think that was it for this week. Termites. All right, that was a long one. Are you excited about Chattanooga? I love Chattanooga. And Huntsville? And Huntsville too.

[01:29:38] Downtown Huntsville is one of the coolest things. And then there are streets, they have these little houses that... Huntsville didn't really get hit in the Civil War. They kind of bypassed it. So a lot of the houses got saved. And they have these little historical markers.

[01:29:50] And everyone apparently has agreed to put one there. So you can, yeah, you can just read about their house. You don't even have to bother these people who did. It's right there in the yard. It's really kind of cool. And downtown Huntsville is kicking it up.

[01:30:00] They got really cool stuff now. It's come a long way since my days going back there, back in the long, long, long days ago. And Chattanooga, I love it. It's beautiful. If it was closed, if it had an airport that had more flights,

[01:30:13] I might even choose it over Nashville. It's pretty, it's just scenically, I don't know. I like it. It's more in the mountains. But unfortunately, a lot of the towns I like, their airports for this job just don't work for me. Two quotes and we're out. Tay Tay.

[01:30:32] Tay Tay. This was in NME. What's that? What's that magazine? NME. October 9th, 2015. In 10 years of touring and writing albums and having my confessional songwriting misunderstood, misconstrued, paraphrased, investigated, I've never wavered. This is the way I want to live my life. Nice. That's right. No regrets. No regrets.

[01:30:59] Dolly. Discussing her relationship with the tabloid in an interview with McCall's. It could be worse. They could tell the truth about me. Oh. That's a Canadian magazine. It McCall's? They have McCall's in this nation. And I might have made that up.

[01:31:21] I think you probably did make that up. Yeah, does it even exist anymore? I don't think so. I don't think McCall's. I don't know. I don't look at... I don't even know how magazines exist. And then occasionally I'll buy one in the airport.

[01:31:35] Just one magazine and they're like, that's 2842. It's very popular in the 20th century. Is it defunct? Yep. It was an American woman's magazine. It was an American woman's magazine. I don't know how any magazines survive the actual printing.

[01:31:52] When I go in the airport, it's the only place you see it was the airport. Or at the checkout, they get a grocery store. There's a lot of them available on eBay. I don't know how they... Nobody buys magazines anymore. I don't and I used to.

[01:32:05] But not anymore because it's all right there on your phone. Yeah. I don't need it. All right, termites. You need a phone, remember? I really wish I didn't have a phone. I would throw this so far gone. And then you'd poke me and ask me. Well, I'd make...

[01:32:18] I would ask someone else, hey, did anything happen today? Make me your Twitter. Yeah, email me. I'd email my sister if something is tragically gone wrong. Send me an email. All right, termites.