Episode 164: More Malaysian FLT 370, Broken Doritos & The Richest Cat In The World

[00:00:01] Hey everybody it's me Kathleen Madigan welcome to Madigans Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on. Happy New Year! Thanks for not yelling at me for taking a break. There was very

[00:00:27] little hate mail. Just a few little pushes. Like could you go back to work yet? That's a little passive-aggressive. No because you know who ruins it? Overachievers. There was that extra week we all could have fucked off and then

[00:00:42] boom there's emails from work people I'm like what are you doing? I'm not participating. No no no no no we don't want the type A's to ruin it. There's more of us than there are of them. The problem is they're more aggressive. Type

[00:00:56] K which means nap time for Kathleen. So I want to thank all of the non type A's for not going along with that for that week last week. That should have just been off for everybody. Anyway happy new year and I got a new

[00:01:13] wand from my friend Adam. It's a Harry Potter one but I tried to charge it and I fucked it up. Well it's not broken I just have to read the directions which is something I'm not usually. Now I'm not a direction person. I rip open a box

[00:01:26] and I plug shit in and I hope it works and then it doesn't and then I have to go back to step one and then I'm like shit I threw that out and then I have to

[00:01:33] go through the trash. It's a thing but once you accept who you are it's an easier life. Yeah so um here we are with my new wand which I'm gonna figure out because it's a it's a Hogwarts wand and it lights up somehow but see there's a

[00:01:49] little flare but I don't know what it does. Fire! Fire! So many things termites did you have fun over Christmas? I did I was in the Ozarks and Jeff City and Columbia Missouri all over Missouri. I should have just given rides I should

[00:02:09] have been an uber for people who needed to go all over Missouri. I could have fit more people in the car and gone everything. So much mail came the post office ladies are very glad I showed up finally. They were getting a little I

[00:02:20] even got a phone call. Because it was too much shit up there and I was overflowing my PO box and yeah those women up there don't put up with shit which is why I like my post office because they don't tolerate bullshit and sometimes you're

[00:02:39] the recipient of you know you were the bad person and I was I was the now I was just gone I was in Missouri and then back in Nashville for New Year's Eve which I'll talk about because I went day drinking downtown so I have for termites

[00:02:52] it might be coming in Nashville. I have information about the new bars yes there's a lot of information about where you should go where you should not go um and the one I don't really want to throw under the bus but I'm gonna have

[00:03:06] to a little bit yeah we'll get to it um so in the mail termite information well I'm drinking a Nashville beer since I've been here for a week it's the Preds I went to a Preds game they played Chicago the Blackhawks the Predators

[00:03:20] it's hockey if you're not sports people always fun with little Dorf he knows everybody yeah we just squirrel around and say hi to every jelly roll was up in the big box I did not go up but we did text him because there's somebody got

[00:03:33] married somebody I'll never get over that too if anybody ever asked me to engage to get married at a sporting event on a jumbo-tron they need flat no you just fuck that up by that if you're that crazy no it's too much pressure for

[00:03:48] the person or I'd go oh sure and not mean it and then after the jumbo-tron was off I'd be like what the fuck is the matter with you like this is supposed to be something but anyway they were a happy little couple and Dorf texted

[00:04:01] jellyroll what are you now marrying people to is there anything is there anything you can't do and he wrote back lol and jelly rolls on the New Year's Eve TV one he did great the Nashville one was the best I flipped through them

[00:04:16] all and I don't need to see Anderson Cooper I could care less but let me Leonard Skinner at the you can't and me and Dorf we're talking about it it's America's band like if you had to send one band to represent America even if

[00:04:33] you're not Southern or you don't don't like a long time ago they had the Confederate flag they took it down um free bird what other band sorry paddles but Canada I love rush rush is a great band tragically hip but it's no free bird

[00:04:50] we still win hands down America gold medal if we send Skinner they always say Dallas is America's football team I'm saying Skinnered is America's band if there was a competition yeah and then the other one if I leave here tomorrow

[00:05:06] and that's his brother singing well what was that there's like 10 I like I like them all I love all singer thing just wouldn't be in the sign and his brother sings cuz his brother died Ronnie Van Zandt died in the plane crash it if you

[00:05:25] never seen the documentary it's called if I leave here tomorrow and it's so sad but it's so good it's so well done and talk about I always say there's a lack of creativity um net currently nowadays as an old person would say because I

[00:05:41] don't think there's enough feral children right which means you don't know helicopter parenting like I'm partial 50% feral my parents at least 50% of the time did not know where I was or what I was maybe 70 yeah maybe 70% feral but

[00:05:58] you see the Skinner documentary those guys were feral feral I mean they were living out in a shack with cotton mouse and alligators and staying up all night to protect their equipment cuz some other rednecks gonna come to the swamp

[00:06:09] of Jacksonville it's just a crazy show I didn't even know they were from Florida I thought because of the name I thought they were from Alabama right sweet home Alabama leads me to believe you live in Alabama right sweet back back anyway

[00:06:25] jelly roll did a wonderful job shout out to King jelly roll and then his toy drive was great over 8700 toys fabulous fabulous and he got nominated for Grammy one or two I don't know he did a hey yeah he did a video he was crying

[00:06:43] he was so happy then he called his mother and she's like I do what what did you get nominated for what do you get a trophy oh you gotta go watch the video

[00:06:53] on Instagram cuz it's all real you could tell he's like well no mama I don't know I don't I'm not there yet and well alright what else did you call for like

[00:07:02] she yeah she don't get it we'll put it in the show she can go on his Instagram and watch it Lisa Hawk sent oh I never say their names but I just said whatever so thank you to my Lisa for the Bigfoot beer

[00:07:15] coaster and the Dolly Parton cat shirt it's very fun I'm not gonna show all this because it's too much to Ellen and David got pubcasts Christmas ornaments which is great and drink coasters Conley sent a possum wine glass which is

[00:07:28] downstairs but also sent these are gummies that are it looks like a craft macaroni cheese box right but it's gummies inside and she said she did he she I don't call you a guy or girl I don't know person whoever said good luck

[00:07:43] so they know this could be gross I see gross but I'm gonna try it it's like so by the way Lewis sends me consumer reports I do like it sometimes but for

[00:07:59] the most part cuz Lou likes to know what he's buying I send him garden and gun and he will be receiving that it I just started that I thought I'm gonna send him a magazine that he looks at and goes mm-hmm I don't know about all that

[00:08:14] because they don't really do guns a lot it's I like gardening go because they have wonderful southern cocktail recipes and they have lots of things with mac and cheese their recipe like their food even if you don't have time to make it it just

[00:08:27] looks great yeah so he'll be receiving that next week anyway I don't know what made me think of that but these gummies oh because they look like plastic and so the latest consumer reports we have a friend Amy Aquino you may know her an

[00:08:43] actor on Bosch she was on judging Amy she was on Grey's Anatomy she was on ER you'd recognize her if you googled her Amy's obsessed with getting rid of plastic on earth and Lewis and I frequently make fun of that I mean we

[00:09:00] agree it'd be better if there wasn't plastic but the things she'll make me do if she comes in this house everything gets thrown out everything without my permission she's plastic plastic I know look at I mean Amy I don't know what

[00:09:15] anyway this looks like plastic but that's what's on the kids front of consumer reports this month or week whatever come how much plastic are you eating well I'm sure my most of stuff yeah oh oh no oh no no no I can't even

[00:09:33] bite into it all the flavorings no we tried that's yeah I can't even tell you what it tastes like I don't know I don't know Stacy moving on sent me something better beer flavored pretzels which my friend Dorf ate the whole

[00:09:50] goddamn bag he came over here to watch a hockey game and then he didn't leave for like nine hours and then I catch him rooting around in the pantry and I'm like we could just get food Dorf like a rat he went through every bag and opened

[00:10:08] every bag I got skinny popcorn in there yeah anyway he ate the beer favorite buzzes but here's a little barbecue sauce on it's called Schaefer's it's from Virginia by the way will this a go remind me when I talk about the National

[00:10:22] Bar is what Eric Church is gonna do I don't even know what he's saying yeah well it's sort of like Carolina eat you can tell it's got a lot of vinegar which is a good start for me oh wow it's hot and surprising and vinegary yeah hot

[00:10:46] vinegar Schaefer's that's wonderful yeah Mindy sent me a Bigfoot Santa hat which I wore over to my mom and dad's but I also have my light up hat my dad was really into that or do you get something like that on my dad it's all right I

[00:11:04] want one I want one I want one for the Chiefs all right we'll do that for you this made me laugh so and then we'll be done with this to move on these this says Burger King I'm holding four glasses in a cardboard carton it says

[00:11:23] Burger King the cardboard is long since faded and these are Mark Twain characters plus Mark Twain on a glass so these guys let me find the letter it's very interesting termites are wonderful um forever ago you were in Connecticut

[00:11:42] posted a video photo with a portrait of Mark Twain surprised to learn that Connecticut claimed them as theirs him is theirs which I was very surprised because I'm born and raised in Missouri and we don't have a lot of claims to

[00:11:53] fame and Mark Twain is one of them it's a big one and I had to go there on a field trip so don't tell me I wasn't still in my state but I didn't go to

[00:12:00] Connecticut I didn't get on a plane or train we got in cars and a bus school bus anyway he said they said this is John Paul that's their names it turns out that in addition to Missouri and Connecticut New York also claims him

[00:12:14] specifically Elmira New York where he met and married his wife not to be morbid but he's buried here too huh they didn't take him back to Hannibal well I'm gonna get on that yeah I'm moving them needs to be an animal how are we

[00:12:27] supposed to make money if we don't have a great come on right they also this town Elmira Elmira they claim that they're the birthplace of Tommy Hilfiger and home to Ernie Davis and also a really awful Civil War prison

[00:12:45] camp way back in the fall we had these glasses they give it they were a Burger King giveaway sometime in the 80s to commemorate Mark Twain I guess that's when fast-food places were smart we're doing literature right I mean that's

[00:13:01] amazing what happened Burger King how do we go from this to big I hate that commercial on a level that now I won't go to Burger King on purpose that commercial and the new Taco Bell one I don't like the music I'll still go but

[00:13:18] it's for the children I know it's like it sounds like a jacked up blink-182 and I like blank 182 but not that jacked up it's just loud and obnoxious but whatever they were gonna bring these to the show in Ithaca but then they thought

[00:13:33] it would be hard to get a home on a plane thank you for thinking of that because some of this stuff is hard to fly home but some of other venues will ship yep they've been in the basement oh so they've been in the basement ever

[00:13:44] since someday when you're feeling classy and want to pour a beer in your glass instead of drink Lee from the can about it you could use these to impress people with your mark trained trivia trivia if you're ever in Ithaca

[00:13:53] Eric I liked it the guy I was surprised I didn't know the school was up there I it's very cozy I like the town I'm sure right now there's probably a lot of snow

[00:14:04] and it's probably not as cozy as I am in envisioning but um they could take me to the sites there's an old Irish bar he also said he probably doesn't think these are dishwasher safe I think you could put them in once and all those

[00:14:17] people would disappear one dish washing and all of those they would be plain glasses yeah so thanks guys that was very nice oh I got a build-a-bear which I get to give to one of my super super young nieces but it was very nice and

[00:14:34] that was from Don and Cindy and Todd we got Christmas Christmas ornaments paddles got one to D there's one termite who's gotten screwed because of a show being canceled and yeah and D got double screwed because it was just a thing

[00:14:50] Miami got moved and I that sucks most people I don't ever can't I haven't canceled a show in 35 years except when my dad got sick in May and I canceled too and I'm going back out there to do them now well this month but she sent a

[00:15:03] funny cat down Sean and Debbie oh the Bigfoot I can see the glasses Red Best whiskey sign very cool because also in breaking update I'm gonna move this podcast studio down to what is the office and pimp it out we're not gonna

[00:15:24] be in the attic anymore paddles we are moving we're and we're spending more money because the termites deserve it I deserve it I don't like being up here it's too open but I didn't think this would go on this long social distancing

[00:15:40] you stay over there Monica the retired Hallmark friend of boys sent me a Hallmark cards which I can send their blank it's great cards are like a box it's bullshit and then you go in it takes too long yeah it used to be some

[00:15:56] I do on the road if you were in a town and you were bored that would be like my entertainment for the day I'm like well I guess I gotta get my dad a birthday

[00:16:03] card or something and then it was funny cuz I had nothing else to do Kevin and Adam they're the Gurmites gay termites from North Reddington Beach Florida they got me the mega Megalodon a bottle opener it's a Megalodon tooth it's very cool

[00:16:17] CM a Massachusetts termite the Beagle calendar great and pictures of their greyhound they said always adopt a greyhound if you can well the retired racing ones they need homes well your thing is make sure you have a good fence

[00:16:32] my friend Kathy adopted two and one got out the motherfucker could go 50 miles an hour you're not catching that in South St. Louis no he's gone when they decide they're gonna run again watch out but they're also cuz they were adopted

[00:16:46] greyhounds it was so weird they don't understand a house because they've never been in one yeah they don't understand stairs you have to teach them all this stuff like of a house with people but like we would come home we went out

[00:16:59] drinking and one night we came home and they were both she had two and they're total huggy pretzel layer on the couch they're very tired well it's unbelievable people wouldn't think that but they're super snugglers but they're weird they

[00:17:12] were like on top of the kitchen table standing there like statues not doing anything I don't think they understood what a table was and they got up on it and then I think they were afraid to get down but anyway if you're looking

[00:17:25] for a dog to adopt Mike sent me a bunch of holiday home hair boo gummies that are going on the road with me and Lisa Emma Lisa the Bigfoot shot glass and it teased all great thank you termites for all that stuff and there was probably

[00:17:39] more and I may have missed it well I'm gonna get to those this made me laugh really hard so one time in Vegas at the Mirage people don't know this I probably shouldn't say it but this there's a door that goes right backstage that's out

[00:17:57] there where the general public all you gotta do is open it but I mean you probably wouldn't find the green room it's there's a lot of tunnels and hallways but I forget who whoever was opening said there's a lady at the side

[00:18:11] door with a seeing what like a guide dog I'm so old I say seeing a dog I know that's probably not up to speed guide dog service animal right there we go that's nailing it it was a big old gold retriever as they was Hudson and I said

[00:18:26] any kind of animals welcome backstage don't bring animals just to get backstage but I'm saying you know the lady with the possum I don't know how she got backstage but good on her I got to hold I know and then the security guard was a

[00:18:41] retired cop but he's like that's the damnedest thing I've ever seen I'm like yeah you let it get here you're supposed to say who are you I don't know who the all these people are backstage but I was super happy that they that she'd got

[00:18:52] back there and then this lady I got to meet her with her dog Hudson and she sent me a Christmas card and she said hug so they were trying to get him to be a service dog we were confident he would we weren't confident he would pass the

[00:19:06] service dog test he passed on his first try it was close he now works with the California Fire Department and once again thank you for your kindness and comedy Diane and Hudson yeah he's doing great he passed I didn't think he was the

[00:19:18] smartest one either quite frankly backstage he was sweet and cute but I wasn't seeing a real intellectual winner there not really no because we were trying to get him to calm down he was just so excited and then there was a

[00:19:29] popcorn machine and this one is great this is the last one I didn't think baby shumannigans collection would be complete without a hand stitch beaded baby moccasin the leathers from a buffalo from a buffalo trend something

[00:19:48] and tan from a First Nations tribe in Canada shout out shout out battles and trimmed with mink I'm an Oneida Oneida Oneida Indian so let's see if we can get other tribes to bead Macs for baby shumannigans well I'm using it as a Christmas

[00:20:04] ornament yeah and one is the Osage that's where I mean I'm not obviously an Indian but I my tribe in Missouri was the Osage Indians and then that's for you paddles so cool yeah that's your your First Nations people I'm gonna make that

[00:20:19] a Christmas ornament um yours is just plain old leather it's not as good as mine yeah an Indian termite so now I have an Indian termite aside from my friend and um it's the only other really Native American I know yeah I

[00:20:36] need Wayne Wayne out in Phoenix at talking stick but he retired and now this lady I need more Native Americans I need more Mexicans Isabella in San Antonio is in charge of that Isabel what's going on to meet Oh

[00:20:52] and I'm going to San Antonio so let's bust it out yeah all right one more thing to mini Doritos okay I already opened this that this is the biggest this is like seriously what I would have turned in my homework at the meeting

[00:21:07] this is the laziest thing I mean I appreciate that somebody was like you have to have your ideas in by Friday and somebody Thursday night was like fuck I don't know I don't have shit for the meeting well to me this looks like

[00:21:21] broken Doritos it looks like the bottom of the bag and somebody went oh I know I'll just crunch them up and say they're minis yeah they're great but they're tiny triangles look that one doesn't even have a top yeah Kathleen

[00:21:37] what'd you think of my broke up a bunch of shit I had a bag that stuff in the bottom and we're just gonna tell people they're mini so they think they're not eating as much okay great somebody bought this idea out of the meeting and

[00:21:50] went yeah Kathleen's on taco and I have some French seasoning potato chips and then we're done we'll move it on the termite center from Kansas City it even has Joe's barbecue on here which these are fried french fried fry seasoning

[00:22:08] potato chips mm-hmm they're good yeah yeah I would say don't change a potato chip this is worth the change mm-hmm guys I like guys speaking of which Kansas City my sister her husband have tickets to the playoff game and he gave

[00:22:35] him away cuz it's gonna be four below and he's a big pansy about the cold as am I but I have her non syndrome I would lose my digits before below yeah I mean

[00:22:45] that would be terrible I do think the Chiefs are gonna win if they play it I don't know if they're gonna play in four below zero I mean and that's abnormal temperatures for Missouri and I'm going to Wichita it's gonna be eight below

[00:22:57] which is also abnormal then I'm going to Tulsa where it gets warmer cuz I'm going three hours south so it's not as crazy but I don't know Roger Goodell is such a piece of shit and I'd like to say that loudly and if you don't follow

[00:23:11] football this will only take a minute just fast forward it's all a mob the debt all of the NFL is a mob he's the leader of the month he's their bitch he's their little bitch of all these owners Jerry Jones of a buck for him to

[00:23:26] put that on Peacock the playoff games bullshit you know that is so mean like oh and it's what it's the Chiefs I know but I mean like people like my mom and dad if they didn't have us well now they're in Florida and you know he's

[00:23:42] like how do we put an app on a TV well your TV doesn't even have a remote so you're not you're not it's not ready for an app dad like all there's all these

[00:23:52] old people that aren't gonna know how to download an app even if they can their TV probably won't do it if you haven't bought a TV in the last five years it's just mean because a money grab cuz he knows he can do it because fantasy

[00:24:03] football will keep the NFL alive and people like me I'm a whore about it no matter what he does no matter how much he abuses me I'm like I know but it's

[00:24:11] the Chiefs and then I turn it on cuz I'm an idiot it's just I just think it's horrible and there's a bunch of people on Twitter everybody feels the same way fuck you NFL you know it's just how much money do you need you sold Thursday

[00:24:25] night football to Amazon you have football Saturday on random channels then YouTube I got a little pay for YouTube which I've done that too so I can see all the games and then Monday nights on Sunday nights on NBC so if

[00:24:36] you have a television without all the bullshit you can actually watch that one game or the two that you're given to in your area and then Monday night is ESPN and now it's peacock yeah okay I'll get off my uh I feel like Jimmy Kimmel going

[00:24:54] off on Aaron Rodgers don't think I didn't enjoy every minute of that go Jimmy so sick of him Aaron I mean not Jimmy the funniest thing that Jimmy put in type he started his response to Aaron Rodgers and I won't get into all

[00:25:11] that cuz this is not a sports show but Aaron said something shit very shitty about Jimmy Jimmy had made jokes about him on the show but they were light there was nothing awful they made fun of his man bun get over it Aaron you're the one

[00:25:24] running around like this saying you're enlightened you've come out of the dark hole go back in the hall get a haircut go back in the hole and come out and just tell me if you're playing for the Packers that's all I want to fucking know

[00:25:34] I don't care about what you learned I don't care about how much you ate I don't care when you went to the bathroom I don't care just stop it Jimmy Kimmel wrote his response on Twitter but he wrote dear asshole but he did it with

[00:25:48] a bunch of AIDS like Aaron like cuz Aaron is a a a a a a a RO and so he went dear a soul what I was like good for you don't put up with that shit and Pat back

[00:25:59] I won't I'll shut up about that I will say I went to a Titans game over the holidays and it was just as fun and horrible as always the fun can't stop being had down there because well I should talk about that because if I

[00:26:14] kicking you back on a Sunday in between gigs and stuff I will go to a Titans game because first of all it's like a dollar and all my friends are down there and the weather is always pretty good 40 or above it's not freezing and raining

[00:26:28] and you know it's a good time but the Titans I can't tighten up I can't that's what they want me to do that's this for saying tighten up nope I'm tightening down I'm tightening down and they played Houston it was just sloppy it was a soup

[00:26:46] the the stadium itself is fun then they're gonna build a big new one but they better get a better product because you can't and then they had the nerve during the game to put up on the thing the Titans have won like just enough

[00:27:01] games to not get a good draft pick that's how dumb they are four or five they put up on the thing there's gonna be an increase in season ticket prices you better hurry up and get this shit done by December 24th I'm like now's

[00:27:12] not the time they're horrible you should say discount on season tickets if anybody wants to come in the third level totally empty the club level was half empty and the owner Amy who I do like she's just lucky that Nashville's a

[00:27:26] destination city this weekend down there one of my comedian friends Jay paws are nip she's a Jacksonville Jaguar fan and for the record the only one I know of in my entire life and she's all in I mean oh my friend Allison right at the golf

[00:27:42] course yeah I just don't know anybody that cares about the Jaguars but that's fine I don't really hang out in Jacksonville a whole lot you know I'm in and I'm out but she's into it yeah she got the team colors and the hats

[00:27:52] and travels and all this shit two-thirds of the stadium was Jacksonville fans you're just lucky it's like Al Davis jr. is lucky that people want to go to Vegas and then they'll go to a Raiders game because the Raiders aren't showing

[00:28:05] up either just shitty products so just want to see good football I don't even care if they win I don't really care I'm a Chiefs fan at heart but you're here be entertaining throw catch anybody nope no poor Derek Henry I hope and he's

[00:28:24] leaving and good I will miss him but I wish nothing but good things for him and you should get in a get out of Dodge get out of this place they've fired variable that's a long time coming I don't want a coach who just stands on

[00:28:37] the sidelines and rolls his eyes that's what I'm doing I'm not the coach you need to come on I don't need Pete Carroll running around chomping on 18 bubble gum things but you got to act someone interested he just is like well

[00:28:51] look at that shit huh oh I can't believe that yeah you should believe it you did that you did that you did so here's a national travel update then we'll get to the rest of the show so I went my cousins came down from st. Louis we have

[00:29:09] a thing where we go day drinking on New Year's Eve because we're old and we want to get out of there by the time the children come although I love the children the cusp of the children is good because I like the children that

[00:29:24] show up early they're more my speed then you know the bro club that shows up at 10 o'clock at night I'm too old I'm gonna be their mother for Christ's sake um but the day drinking it's just spectacular it's so much because there's

[00:29:38] just the right amount of people so they opened a new Draftkings bar downtown now a lot of people are like well this is getting away from traditional Nashville we can have both don't panic we still have John Rich's redneck Riviera don't

[00:29:51] worry there's bullets on the wall whatever you want you want redneck I got we got we got it we got it covered my favorite bar on all of Broadway is bootleggers it's an old saloon just one alley bar stools and tiny little tiny

[00:30:06] little high tops line in the wall that's it cigarette machine $11 for a pack of smokes still working the bathrooms in the back and there's always a guitar guy up in the corner maybe two guys three people you could fit but

[00:30:19] usually one who's usually awesome and they have a moonshine menu that's amazing shot in a moonshine but anyway the new bars Draftkings sports bar awesome it the TVs my cousin Pat was just like there's too much to take in I

[00:30:36] don't know my cousin Mikey's on his easy because you can gamble in Tennessee on Draftkings and all that and he's just like I don't think I ever need to leave this bar I'm like well we are Mike we're going around we're not just staying here

[00:30:46] the whole time bootlegger barstool sports open a new bar that one's fantastic too they had live music while the games are on I'm okay with that I don't need to hear the football unless this is Super Bowl I want to hear it but the rest of

[00:31:00] them the playoffs I don't need unless it's your specific game you're all fired up about I get it but Garth Brooks opened a new bar and a friends in low places and I love for the record Trisha Yearwood and I love Garth I like

[00:31:19] Trisha more I'm allowed to say that I think she sings better I think he would agree to that if you put him up chained him to a wall and said answer the question or you're not getting unchained and answer it honestly or

[00:31:30] you're not getting a hot dog nothing you're not getting nothing to eat she has a better voice um anyway so I was rooting for this place um first of all we went in then I've been waiting to go in it's been over a couple months maybe

[00:31:45] a month um I don't like the outside it looks very industrial and modern that doesn't give me the country feel I'm looking for the stage is huge and there's a band on there and they're playing smash-up songs of pop songs from

[00:31:59] the 90s yeah and then my friend Dorf went in and they were playing rap what do we yeah it Garth yeah it's a cavernous space I don't know what I would have done with the space either the space might be a problem because of

[00:32:12] the way all I can say is picture this on a Tuesday at 3 yeah it's not gonna be good maybe they're just gonna rent it out for corporate gigs every tourist will go in there once as I did because you want to see hey it's a Garth Brooks

[00:32:23] but um the beer was hot I've never gotten a hot beer on Broadway no and I was like this is bad because this is his big weekend and then there were like hats on a wall my cousin Mike touched one and it just fell off because it was

[00:32:38] on a nail then he put it on and I'm like you're gonna get lice don't even you can't come back to the house you already have lice I can feel it I just those are

[00:32:49] the three brand new bars now Eric Church is opening a bar on the corner it's not open yet and he's gonna have North Carolina barbecue I don't know if he's from North Carolina is he okay great I'm very excited about that and

[00:33:05] I've already seen pictures of the inside it looks a lot cozier yeah Garth I'm shouting out to Trisha you need to get down there you need to get country music in there I don't know what these pop bands are it doesn't resonate with

[00:33:17] anybody because people aren't expecting that and maybe when they're drunk later but in the day yeah Eric Church if you don't know he's a country singer Granite Falls North Carolina okay well good for him how was Tootsies? Tootsies was

[00:33:37] great it wasn't too backpacked went to the rooftop if you're ever in Nashville it's the purple bar it's painted lavender and I know the guy who owns it Steve and he does a bang-up job at that place they have music on every floor

[00:33:51] and what's amazing Mike Kukose he can't even hear the other floor it's amazing I'm like I know I don't know how you can't hear it either because they're all playing it usually when you go in someone's on top of the bar singing on

[00:34:03] level one and then I keep going to the rooftop because it was bizarrely warm it was like 50 degrees and the Sun was out it was just it was just a wonderful day of day drinking Tootsies and then my other favorite bar is right around the

[00:34:15] corner off-broadway called Losers and they always have a great musician in there too um and it's never that crowded in a good way plenty they're making money but it's not like Tootsies can get after five o'clock Tootsies yeah just

[00:34:31] it's too crazy um Queen News let's move on well one more term I think this made me laugh this lady wrote this email and she's 50 and looks 25 years old every year I take this nice long walk with the Widget Soldiers and yesterday was no

[00:34:45] different except this time you were like everywhere I thought you'd get a ticket kick out first I wore my holiday cute holiday termite shirt thank you for wearing that second I listened to your most recent episode while walking and

[00:34:57] cracked up with you calling out the terrible truly terrible Carolina Panthers yes I'm still a fan but they but fuck they're awful they they're they're the worst 45 cents it I could live another till I'm dead they traded all their

[00:35:13] traffic's third I got to my destination about six miles later our favorite local brewery and made friends with one of the children who was sporting a Bucky's onesie completing my winter solstice termite trifecta yeah the

[00:35:30] Panthers I think I gotta shut up about sports but yeah I don't even know what you do if you're the Panthers I don't know where you start I don't know how you fix any of it and I like their owner yeah they got they traded everything for

[00:35:47] that guy and he's not turned he's not paying out Queen News Queen News Taylor Swift's cat Olivia Benson named after the law and order has a higher net worth than Travis Kelsey that's just fantastic now Taylor has three cats I

[00:36:11] believe I prefer Benjamin he's one of those rag dolls and he's got blue I use the one on Time magazine Travis Kelsey Kelsey may be worth a pretty penny but it doesn't hold a candle to his girlfriend Taylor Swift's net worth of

[00:36:25] her or her cats Olivia Benson the lovers singers feline who she adopted in 2014 is one of the Richards cats with an estimated worth of ninety seven million dollars according to a Forbes style list of the world's wealthiest pets compiled

[00:36:40] by the blah blah blah she earned her fortune starring alongside her owner in several music videos she has earned her money this cat the cat named after Mariska Hartegay's law and order character who's also crafted her own

[00:36:53] merchandise line has had cameos in many big budget ads including the likes of Diah Coke and Ned sneakers the Kansas City Chiefs tight end for his part has an estimated worth of 40 million the cat is worth 97 that's better make sure you

[00:37:08] feed that cat Travis that just made me laugh this Wow wouldn't it be weird like your date and somebody you walk in and look at the cat and think goddamn that could provide way more than I could the cat Queen News

[00:37:25] Stevie's out on the road again boom Cher can't find her kid she's trying to get the yeah it's getting real weird she's trying to get him into some rehab so he doesn't spend all the money in a trust fund and get him away from the is it a

[00:37:39] wife or a fiance or girlfriend whatever but here's what I would say if I'm Cher this is where I just fold look dude Elijah blue I'm almost 80 here's the money do whatever the fuck you want your daddy was an almond brother call

[00:37:57] the label see if there's any money left I don't know what daddy signed up for a daddy didn't sign up for but these people are too old for this shit he's gotta be 40 I mean it probably older I mean I can't I don't understand this I

[00:38:13] understand why a parent wants to do it so don't even get on the addiction train I know way too much about all that shit but I'm just saying what I would do he's 47 in three years he's 50 well here's the money yeah do with what you want I

[00:38:27] don't care I mean you were gonna give him the money anyway give it to him right these these women I don't know men women everybody I respect what they're doing I just wouldn't have the gumption at that age I'd be like I'm done man whatever

[00:38:43] you want I'll be dead in a while you take care of you you do you Dolly Parton fulfills a dying man's dying mega fans final wish as she says I will always love you in a tear-jerking phone call after the doctors told the

[00:38:56] father of five his stage four cancer was incurable oh yeah but she called him he's a lawyer and a fire father of five Tennessee guy he had stage four colorectal cancer in 2021 then three weeks ago he was told the treatment

[00:39:11] wasn't working the scan showed spreading all sad sad sad and then she called him and had a whole conversation you can listen to it online I heard it somewhere I don't remember she's the wife spread the word on social media

[00:39:24] somehow I got to Dolly um and she said I'm just happy to know I have a fan that that's that devoted and then she talked to him she wanted to thank him for being

[00:39:35] a fan and then she did the I will always love you thing that's nice that's a good thing starting off 2024 with a bang yeah good things update traitor update this is why I like the FBI they're still on top of it they captured three people

[00:39:57] in Florida linked to the January 6th third anniversary of the riot so they're not giving up all you little traitors that think you got away with it the FBI is still looking for you mm-hmm think about that when you go to the Walmart

[00:40:12] the FBI apprehended three people accused of participating January 6 attack on the Capitol at a ranch in Florida fugitives Jonathan Pollock his sister Olivia Pollack and Daniel Joseph Daniel Hutchington the third they're scheduled

[00:40:27] to appear at a federal court they were trying to go on the run that's great the Bureau was offering up to 30 grand of information on Jonathan I'm thinking one of his little redneck friends probably called him in Pollack was accused of

[00:40:41] attacking police and using a riot shield as weapon during the riots Olivia Pollack had been missing since March after she disappeared shortly before the trial was set to begin yep the other one was missing all three were charged in

[00:40:53] July 2021 there you go so just I'm just telling you there's any I don't think any of people that listen to my act and stuff would probably be traitors but if you are don't don't don't rest on your laurels update speaking of the traitors

[00:41:20] remember the shaman guy with the horns the QAnon shaman guy that went into the Capitol and started wrecking stuff well he wants his horns back yep and guess what I say is the judge in that trial nay nay on the hornays no you're not

[00:41:36] getting your goddamn horns back cuz he wants to go to rallies he's still a Trump guy you know you have a right to be a Trump guy you served your time kinda whatever he's the one who wanted vegan meals and all that shit I mean I

[00:41:47] just I don't right in county jail you did just be just be glad you're in a cell by yourself shut your mouth um yeah he wants his horns back here's his reasoning his real name is Jacob Chansley he's trying to run I do think he's mentally

[00:42:09] ill I think that's been stated before so I'm not going to make fun of him but I am saying you can't have your horns back he spent 27 months in his prison for his role in the insurrection his unique appearance featuring his Viking hat fur

[00:42:25] and horns made him a standout figure among the pro-trump capital mob in 2021 the headdress has become a symbol of capital insurgency with some of the most memorable images of him featuring in the attack the FBI confiscated his address

[00:42:39] and belongings when he turned himself in he says there's no justification for the government to retain the headdress as evidence as he's done his time well no I took it I'm keeping it yeah the case is over there's no yeah he said

[00:42:53] they're keeping it like it's evidence it is it's in the evidence locker as a matter of fact it says evidence locker and the bag it's in says evidence that's why we know it's evidence because it's written everywhere he's on

[00:43:04] probation he's still an outspoken advocate for Donald Trump he wants to wear the headdress at future campaign events no you don't get to be a star no I don't know legally how I can get away with this as a judge because I'm not

[00:43:14] really a judge I'll have to ask my dad how do I get to keep it his lawyer wants to know why you can't have it back um he's been selling t-shirts on his website adorned with the distinctive headdress after pleading guilty and making

[00:43:29] heartfelt felt apology regarding his role in the attack he then said he regretted his guilty plea regrets only weigh the mind down oh dude they're like sandbags on a hot-air balloon he was released from prison 14 months early he

[00:43:42] said he wanted his plea reversed no no we're not doing that he wanted to run for Congress as a convicted felon he cannot vote in elections but he can stand in them hmm you can run but you can't vote for yourself yep think of how

[00:44:03] many people would attend his little events with his headdress on if he got his horns back yep well I'll let you know I think the government's gonna say no you're not getting the horns back update

[00:44:14] this is Zuckerberg update this is crazy seriously I really think he's a cyborg I don't think he's a person I don't I don't think he's an actual human like a cyborg or you know some people think aliens are just living among us in

[00:44:32] human bodies and stuff like yeah following an investigation by wire details about Mark Zuckerberg's massive and mysterious island estate have now been revealed he's building something enormous in Hawaii and nobody really knows what except these guys went all in deep dive the in-depth investigation

[00:44:50] reportedly uncovered that the secret compound possesses several non-traditional features like an underground bunker with a concrete filled metal door an escape hatch a collection of disc-shaped greenhouses connected by rope bridges allowing visitors to cross from one building to

[00:45:08] the next while staying among the treetops in addition to extreme security infrastructure the report claims Zuckerberg compound is comprised of about 12 buildings including several guest homes additionally the whole it reportedly boasts at least 30 bedrooms and 30 bathrooms inside of its two main

[00:45:26] residential structure the top secret compound the shocking part is what's below the surface there's two mansions joined by a tunnel that branches off into 5,000 square foot of underground shelter this bunkers reportedly set to include living spaces room for mechanical equipment a CA patch and

[00:45:43] includes doors found on bomb shelters that are filled with concrete okay okay first of all if there's an apocalypse or zombies come I don't want to survive I don't want to be in a bunker going do you think we can go out now or are the

[00:45:58] zombies there like it's over just go to the next gig move on down the road nobody needs to be around for this shit but I mean if you're his wife you know oh no Mark can't come we're working on the escape hatch doors what what live

[00:46:18] now what are you doing um it's gonna be a completely self-sufficient thanks to an 18 foot tall water tank and pump system thanks to an agricultural and ranching structures with extensive well why would you want to live through this

[00:46:31] because this all ends to yeah this can't sustain itself okay you got an 18 foot water pot what about electricity what about the grid what about the internet you can't I love that they're so arrogant they think that if I build this

[00:46:46] thing I can survive the apocalypse that's what you're preparing for he'll have his metagoggles and he can pretend that he's in I don't know Ohio wherever you went wherever he thinks it didn't happen whatever he thinks is gonna have

[00:47:03] a time it's so paranoid to why are you so paranoid it's everything's been fine I mean we have some problems but you know we're fine we're fine earth is you know we're here he's not just using this for himself his wife and their three

[00:47:18] children Maxima August and Aurelia I didn't know that I did not know he had three kids they've also hosted two tech industry events at their mysterious compound no thanks I don't want to go there no no no no no no no no you know

[00:47:34] you need to have this at goddamn Hyatt in Orlando like normal people this is crazy this is I don't even know this are there children that work for him I just can't imagine I know you don't have to see him every day in the lunchroom I

[00:47:47] mean I just couldn't update Minnesota got a new flag it's gonna be in the schnotes it's not the one I wanted I wanted the loon yep but I do like it um it was created by artist Andrew Parker from 2500 public submit submissions but I

[00:48:06] think they should let the people vote and they didn't a committee chose it yeah they don't even have a lake on it and they're the land of a thousand ten thousand lakes it's pretty I like what he did it's very pretty looks very

[00:48:20] Nordic which is good um go check it out half of its light blue half of its dark blue and then there's a Minnesota North Star in the dark blue Navy part but there's no loon and there's no lakes I like the loon guys or girls better

[00:48:36] whoever did that all right we're moving on we're moving on to holy shit they found it oh wait I have an update update update I forgot Malaysian flight 370 my obsession wrong ocean we have been looking in the wrong ocean get a load of

[00:48:59] this and I believe this guy cuz I saw his picture and his interview any 77 years old I do not believe at age 77 after seeing my parents that you have reasons to lie no you're done with all you don't give a shit an Australian

[00:49:15] fishermen's broken neck could be the clue that finally unravels the mystery of what happened in Malaysia Malaysian flight 370 the final resting place of the downed plane which disappeared March 8 2014 with 227 passengers of 12 crew members aboard remains elusive despite the most extensive search at sea in

[00:49:30] world history now nine years later after planes his spirit retired Australian fisherman kit over 77 has come forward to receive reveal his deep-sea trawler pulled up what appeared to be the wing of a commercial airliner around 55 kilometers off the southeast coast of South Australia in the Southern Ocean in

[00:49:48] September of October of 2014 so March October wait March March April May June July August six months later after it crashed this guy pulled up a wing of a commercial airline most authorities believe it became it came down in the

[00:50:15] Southern Indian Ocean which is where we looked and it's very difficult to look because the Indian Ocean is one of the most treacherous and crazy things to maneuver mr. over OLV er told the city morning arrow that he was trawling in a

[00:50:30] secret spot for prized fish species Alfonso when his net snagged on something large which he struggled to bring to the surface it was a bloody great wing of a big jet airliner I've questioned myself I've looked for a way

[00:50:42] out of this I wish to Christ I'd never seen the thing but there it is it's a jet swings he because he held a pilot's license he was confident the wing was larger than any type of private plane so he would know he has a pilot's license

[00:50:54] the only other surviving member of the trawler Vivian Vivian Jane's Vivian Jane's that was a boat name crew um he said he could corroborate he corroborated the story said it's all true it was incredibly heavy and awkward it was

[00:51:12] stretched out the stretched out the net and ripped it it was too big to get up on the deck as soon as I saw it I knew what it was it was obviously the wing or

[00:51:19] a big part of it from a commercial airline it was white and obviously not from a military jet or a little plane after struggling all day to free the object over and his crew or he ordered his crew to cut the $20,000 net you know

[00:51:33] he didn't want to do that no no I don't know do you have insurance on stuff like that and let it drift back so it sunk again so it's probably still somewhere

[00:51:42] near ish he said he can locate the spot he knows exactly where it is he said he tried to tell authorities um when he returned to port a few hours making a call he was contacted by an official who told him the fine was likely a shipping

[00:51:57] container that had fallen from a Russian ship the guy's a pilot I think he would know people would know um and then the AMSA said they have no record of the phone call I don't I don't believe them um he believed that it was the right

[00:52:14] thing to do to go public with his find if it could help the families of those aboard flight 370 know the fate of their loved ones he told the Daily Mail Australia that he cleared his conscience and was not prepared to answer any more

[00:52:24] questions from journalists that's it I've told you what happened I told my point of view anything else I could come up with we conjecture a supposition on my part I'm not really interested see this is an old man just like look by the

[00:52:35] way yeah here's the facts I'm not gonna keep talking about it that means he doesn't want anything he doesn't want to go viral he doesn't want to um then it's just more about the flight but you know right can somebody go look there's

[00:52:50] still a bunch of families that don't know where their people are this made me laugh so hard because sometimes I say perfectly dumb things just to irritate Lewis my little friend lose black comedian and we went to Iraq and

[00:53:12] Afghanistan and did those tours of comedy shows and it was totally fun but some of the days there would be sandstorms and you weren't allowed to fly in helicopters or anything you were just everybody the answer was no and I'd

[00:53:26] never seen a stand sandstorm like that my life and it is not something you want to really experience if you don't have to they were crazy but some days the sand would like quiet down and we were bored I mean that you could play cards

[00:53:39] or you know there's just not much to do and it was a strange collection of people like there's Kid Rock and Robin Williams like it was all just very Kelly Pickler they were different trips but there was a lot of us with it was

[00:53:52] fun everybody was a good time but sometimes you just wanted to go do something weird and every day at least twice a day Lou would go where you're going and I'm like I'm going outside Lou don't go out there there's too much

[00:54:04] sand I go I know but now is the time I'm gonna find my genie lamp and then he would look at me like I was a racist for saying that I'm like no I'm not a

[00:54:13] racist Lou and I don't really believe in well I don't know there might be genies I don't know but I'm gonna go find an artifact and then I would go out in the sandstorm I'd only last about ten minutes it was too much especially with contacts

[00:54:24] in it was just a nightmare well some Israeli defense guys they found a perfectly preserved 1,500 year old oil lamp also known as a genie lamp they found one yep yep I sent this article immediately to Lewis I'm like see I was

[00:54:42] not looking in vain now granted we were in Afghanistan but it's the Middle East I mean you know this is what they used it was a used as a little oil lamp and according to Sarah the IAEA's archaeologist in the western Najeev

[00:54:58] region somewhere in Israel it's a pottery lamp from the Byzantine period known as a sandal lamp it was commonly used for light and made it in a pattern typical of a something region and southern Israel near the Gaza Strip they

[00:55:12] got it's tiny too it fits in his hand like a regular-sized guy it's adorable I'm happy that the ancient lamp brought enlightenment to the soldiers I congratulate them for their vigilance and show of good citizenship I remind

[00:55:26] everyone that in the event of finding an ancient artifact it's important to leave it in place and call the staff I wouldn't have the self-control if I saw part of the genie lamp stop it I'm getting everything out of my backpack

[00:55:38] that can be dug with but it made me laugh because I like that holy shit they found it perfect this is scary this is Jurassic Park perfectly preserved dinosaur embryo found inside a fossilized egg oh and there's a picture

[00:55:55] of it and that little guy is waiting to come back to life an incredibly rare fully articulated dinosaur embryo has been found inside a fossilized egg that has been collecting dust for over a decade in the storage room of a museum

[00:56:08] in China thought to be between 66 and 72 million years old the unborn specimen reveals an incredible link between dinosaurs and modern birds and then it gets hard I can't get into all that science but I'm just telling you my

[00:56:24] impression of what I would dinosaur that's them coming out of the egg thanks but see I think we could I think science could bring it back to life maybe I'm giving science too much credit I don't know but I think they can

[00:56:46] news we're moving on Starbucks it will accept reusable cups for drive-thru and mobile orders no well I get that we're trying to not have as much trash I get it it's probably a good thing but the reusable cup through a drive-thru slow

[00:57:11] slow mobile orders that means I got to take my cup in here's what's gonna happen I know Starbucks announced it will allow customers this is why I'm a big fan of 7-eleven their coffee's fine and there's all the choices do it

[00:57:28] yourself nobody gives a shit wah-wah going wah-wah I mean sometimes Starbucks it's just too hard um you can use your own personal cups for all visits including drive-thru and mobile orders in a bid to reduce waste sent to landfills the new practice starts Wednesday at all company operated

[00:57:44] participating stores licensed in the US and Canada with the majority of Starbucks beverages enjoyed on the go the milestone unlocks a big opportunity for customers to choose reusables and support Starbucks commitment to reduce

[00:57:55] waste by 50% I mean if I had the time yes of course I don't want trash everywhere but I don't know that we do it in the drive-thru I don't know the Seattle plus there's a financial incentive customers who bring a clean

[00:58:15] personal cup get a 10 cent discount on their beverage I don't give a shit if you're spending the money you're spending at Starbucks on a coffee cup cup coffee you don't give a shit about 10 cents no no unless you're like a

[00:58:25] Warren Buffett you're always looking for those guys you know how will it work customers ordering inside cafes will simply let baristas know that they brought their own personal cup and hand it over enjoy right inside is fine in

[00:58:39] drive-thrus customers are low baristas when ordering that they have their own cup they will baristas will collect the cup fill the cup and pick it up the window so we've lost the time where it's ready where I just hand it out the window

[00:58:50] for app orders which I do a lot on the road customers will press the customization button and select personal cup and then continue it ordering is normal once they get to the cafe customers hand over their cup and the

[00:59:00] baristas to the baristas and pickup line the new effort comes after personal cup was piloted at 200 drive-thru stores in Colorado I don't know maybe their children can work this quickly I get it but I do think it's gonna slow things

[00:59:18] down yeah we shall see perhaps I'm wrong um can we talk about the guy at the Bass Pro Shop in Alabama I love Roy Wood jr. he's a comedian if you don't know who he

[00:59:30] is he's very funny and he was like um don't put this on Birmingham he's from Birmingham he goes this is Leeds Alabama that's quite a way away cuz they just someday they round it up instead it was Birmingham Alabama if you've never

[00:59:42] been in a Bass Pro Shop I've been in many many many in my life and the mothership of all Bass Pro Shops proud to say Springfield Missouri that's the mother mother mothership um and that one's awesome if you have kids it's

[00:59:54] awesome because there's this enormous aquarium and it's meant to look like a lake it's not as pretty as the ocean and it's got lake things in there carp catfish bass crappie um everything you can think of but it also has snapping

[01:00:08] turtles at least the one the one the mothership yeah cuz it's not a turtle it doesn't fuck with the fish they don't really do anything but it can take your toes off your thing I mean you if you don't know anything about turtles and

[01:00:20] you see one by like do not approach it that would be my advice to you I know what they look like Leeds Alabama a man crashed his car outside a Bass Pro Shop stripped down to his birthday suit and plunged into the giant aquarium in the

[01:00:34] store now people are saying I have read online he's mentally ill so I can't make too much fun of him but I have waited for some hillbilly to jump in there I knew it would happen it's because the tops too open and you could climb up

[01:00:47] the rocks there's like a fake rock thing and yeah there's bears up there's things that hold on to the stuffed bears I'm not a real bear he did a cannonball and then he stood under the waterfall I think this is I think what we're gonna

[01:01:05] teach the Bass Pro Shop is what I've been thinking for at least 15 years probably have a net up there yeah cuz it's too tempting it's too tempting somebody's gonna want to do it whether they're mentally ill or not I think the

[01:01:18] not just regular old redneck I dare you man come on you know I got an ideal let's go down to the Bass Pro Shop and we're gonna trick Mike to jump in I could totally see that conversation happening I'm fishing in the tank are bringing a

[01:01:42] net and just grabbing whatever they want walking out with it and you know what nobody at the Bass Pro Shop would stop them did we get to get another catfish you idiot but oh you got our good catfish there's we have a million we

[01:01:54] have a million are you looking to move termites do you want to know what the hottest housing market is in 2024 buffaloes buffalonians do you hear me now I love one of my top ten bars in the country is

[01:02:16] Gabriel's Gate and don't you have to go to the anchor bar if you go to Buffalo because that's where the chicken wing was invented and there's a good and great beer cold beer I like the vibe of that place but I think the wings at Gabriel

[01:02:31] Gates are better and a termite told me to do that and I did it and they were right and I hadn't been in it's an old town Gabriel's Gate I'd never been in that bar and Allentown right yeah well Buffalo I don't I mean I I worked a

[01:02:47] club up there a few times and I always had a good time because the people are fun everybody's a big drinker but I don't know about living there I don't know I don't even know anyone who lives there except a couple DJ guys snowy

[01:02:59] Buffalo is slated to have the hottest market housing market in 2024 despite the notoriously long harsh winters that would get me down the western New York Town has top silos fought 50 hottest markets of 2024 do it to its for

[01:03:11] affordability making owning a home a real possibility for young people housing markets are the healthiest where affordable home prices and strong employment or give young hopefuls blah blah blah a typical home there is two hundred forty eight thousand dollars you've got to be good with the cold

[01:03:28] though because it lasts a long time it goes from Halloween to the end of May or you just stay in the bar um if you put 5% down on a typical home in Buffalo the mortgage would end up being 1792 1792 yeah mm-hmm

[01:03:46] it had the highest number of new jobs per housing units I don't know what's going on up there Charlotte was named in 2023 and Charlotte is on the upcoming they were not wrong Charlotte's all young people my friend

[01:03:59] Dorff's brother big dwarf his kid moved there and I was like go it is wonderful weather's great um I mean I like humidity though and I like heat the what football team yeah it's affordable it's 45 cents to go to an NFL game maybe your

[01:04:18] team will come to town you don't know mm-hmm at this rate you might be able to play do you want to play you want to try to punt saw a video of John Daly kicking a field goal he's available yeah he's really good still too he kicked a

[01:04:35] perfect extra point barefooted that hillbilly monster John Daly the golfer has the record for the longest field goal ever kicked at a high school in Jefferson City Missouri and I'm aware of this and everyone's aware of this when I

[01:04:46] first met John Daly that's what I brought up because I thought he won't know that anyone knows that on this planet and I have that piece he's like how'd you know something like that I go cuz relatives that live in Jefferson

[01:04:57] City but just yesterday on it on Instagram he's he's totally chubby he's got a sig he always has a sig he also has bladder cancer why all this is happening he clearly isn't bothered by that and barefooted and he kicked it he

[01:05:14] lined up straight it's very has a very weird approach he doesn't go one two step sides he just goes straight on and kicks it with the top of his foot and it was perfect anyway got a little side track behind Buffalo are the Midwest

[01:05:31] cities of Cincinnati and Columbus I've always loved Columbus but it's very family-friendly and the school is there so it's a college town Cincinnati is totally fun but I might look across the river down those big old houses on the

[01:05:47] rivers already and I bet your taxes are cheap Buffalo that's where it's happening and you can be a Bills fan and a Sabres fan I forget they have a hockey team I hate to say that but the Blue Jays farm team okay who wants to buy

[01:06:10] Alexander Hamilton's pistol oh all kinds of people and I'm surprised with the amount of gun nuts in this country and the gun collectors there's normal ones too that it's only going for a half million it's really his Oh pocket

[01:06:28] flintlock pistols they got that round handle they look super old-timey they're ideal for close-range defense if you're so see if you're caused by a thief or something that's when they oh yeah after the thief stopped laughing right

[01:06:44] yeah yeah Hamilton the New York Post founder was a Revolutionary War officer and the nation's first Treasury secretary he I guess so I didn't know it was that old he was living in New York when he got the guns which are steel

[01:07:00] mounted and gold copper alloy on walnut they're engraved with his initials but it's not another whether he bought himself or it was gifted he was the most sought-after lawyer in New York say a lot of business and a lot of French

[01:07:11] clients was have to do where we saying they're violent he was connected to the upper echelon of political figures from the Marquis de Lafayette who had a big doings in st. Louis that's why we have Lafayette Square yeah it was a

[01:07:28] diplomatic gift another pair of pistols owned by him was sold at auction in 2021 for 1.5 million I would think you'd get more than a half million for that there's enough gun people it probably works of course it'll work you can make

[01:07:50] it work where do you get the ammo I you probably got to get online to some old timey site maybe it's a make-your-own-bullet kind of deal I don't here's six weird traits which show you have Neanderthal DNA mm-hmm in modern

[01:08:14] humans up to 2% of our DNA comes from Neanderthal ancestors DNA from Neanderthals has small but detectable effects on humans today stemming from an ancient period where humans and Neanderthals inner bread it's believe modern humans who spread out Africa and Asia around 60,000 years ago inner bred

[01:08:29] with Neanderthals and Neanderthal DNA spread across the world mm-hmm I have a few of these I could be a Neanderthal here's what they are you decide if you are you smoke and or love nicotine all in and from the day I smoked of one

[01:08:47] cigarette I'm like I'm gonna need a pack that was wonderful and then like my one sister could smoke just two cigarettes on a Saturday what's that I'm like you don't smoke the rest of the week no impossible I'm not yeah so if you're a

[01:09:04] smoker or were a smoker whatever if you liked it I love that that's part of it that's the nicotine addiction it's your genes do you have thick straight hair no I do not have thick hair but I've straight hair you're an early riser no

[01:09:21] you are paddles yeah you have a big nose no I don't you suffer badly when you get COVID-19 no you struggle to get a tan yes but that's just because I'm from genetically an island with very little Sun well how am I gonna get tan if

[01:09:40] you from Ireland originally your people I mean no we lived in beehives these little huts they called beehives yeah so how do you feel about that list all right I'm half half of the list probably everybody's about half yeah

[01:09:59] I'm gonna save a couple of these for next week we're gonna do a segment on cruise shifts next week the crazy shit that has gone on one all right this one this one a cruise bound for the Bahamas was rerouted to Boston in Canada no no just

[01:10:24] take me fucking home I'm not going I don't even have the clothes you picture every Midwest person you go it's so I mean it's not just the Midwest but I specifically always see it like in Minnesota at the airport there's always a

[01:10:38] gate area and it says you know Cancun or Cozumel and there's all these super white people and they're in like summer outfits because they somehow I can't believe they left their home in Minneapolis or somewhere in Minnesota in

[01:10:51] that outfit it went to the airport you left and it's 12 well how the fuck did you not freeze to death getting here and they're all so excited right so you know you didn't pack a coat or gloves you didn't even wear it to the airport or you

[01:11:03] left it in the car because it's not with you this is just these cruise companies I I feel like they're the NFL they're a mob nobody's controlling them no one's making them do things this is why I'm against it my friend Avi went on one it's

[01:11:22] his first one ever I can't wait to hear he went over the holidays with his family yeah yeah it was scheduled to sail from New York to Bahamas but severe weather forced a last-minute change in the ship's itinerary instead of heading south

[01:11:35] for the winter passengers are notified they'd be heading to Boston New England in Canada the switch was made to do to unseasonably and rapidly worsening weather that would have made it impossible for them to safely reach the

[01:11:46] southern Atlantic Ocean from New York City then take me back to New York deal because you're gonna charge me right cuz I went somewhere and I love New England really love Boston and I love Canada especially if we're going to Nova Scotia

[01:12:02] they can drive and you could actually have clothing that was appropriate hey do you want to go on the deck and look at Nova Scotia oh no I just have underwear and a swimming suit that's what I brought a swimming suit and

[01:12:14] underwear the only alternative would have been to take the more extreme step of canceling yes give them the money but they don't want to give the money back the statement explained that the complexities involved in obtaining

[01:12:30] last-minute births for unplanned stuff also do you not have radar do you need the weather channel do we need to buy you the weather channel and pay for it how did you not know you knew when you left I know they knew cuz I saw them do

[01:12:42] it on a Royal Caribbean that I was on I was looking at the TV going Lewis do you do you have this channel in your room look at that we're sailing into a fucking hurricane deep deep deep make sure you get to the buffet by 7 what I

[01:12:59] think you meant bar but okay they had it so you one passenger she was devastated this is some of my kids Christmas gift we're from Chicago so we wanted to change weather another fat never fathom we could be back in cold weather it's a

[01:13:20] little depressing because you imagine we're making the most of it but people are walking around in gloves and coats and hats yeah I mean no oh and I don't even care if you give me a free coat I don't oh my god we are still here in

[01:13:42] Boston this one person shared we have kids in the pool still it's cold outside she narrated in a video of the mostly empty pool including a bundled up in a ski jacket the pool is not heated it's not heated it's not a heated pool

[01:13:56] we're in Boston not heated just keep saying that all right we're gonna save that I would say that yes more cruciate ones that are just insane this is a little trip down memory lane makes me sad but things things have to move on

[01:14:16] Kathleen two iconic Las Vegas Strip resort casinos enter their last days it's a great time of change on Las Vegas Strip yes I know Google Fountain Blue the new casino not doing so well it's a great time of change to be on the

[01:14:38] Las Vegas Strip when two longtime fan favorites will soon be no more it's true it's only in Las Vegas performers like Donny Osmond and Wayne Newton but it's true some of the city's biggest performers like Lady Gaga Bruno Mars who

[01:14:56] have residencies at the MGM Resorts the truck so here's what's closing the Tropicana now that is one of the first well the second casino I think I worked at the trap first I worked at Bally's Catch a Rising Star was in the basement

[01:15:11] that was nice and then the trap was across the street and it was called comedy stop at the trap there was one in Atlantic City as well and you had to work the one in Atlantic City if you wanted the Vegas one and none of us

[01:15:24] wanted Atlantic City because it was just all mean old men that would heckle you it was horrible it was so depressing and it was seven days and I love to gamble and smoke and drink so if I was like yes please get me down not anymore because

[01:15:38] the Borgata is wonderful but back then yeah I one time I didn't know that I shouldn't be walking the boardwalk at night I gave away all my cigarettes just to get people off my ass I gave away 20 cigarettes when I did not have enough

[01:15:52] money to be buying crazy cigarettes I was probably making $350 a week and I'm like I just gave away my six but I saved my life you know so what are you trading here anyway the Tropicana in Vegas then it's gotta go it's done and

[01:16:05] it's gonna be blown up to be a major league baseball stadium my only wish if anyone's listening if you've ever been in the casino and tried Tropicana in Vegas in the main casino where the crab staples are and the blackjack tables are

[01:16:18] there is a ceiling there of stained glass this is the most beautiful thing outside of a church I've ever seen and if they destroy it I'm gonna be super sad on the Instagram I took videos of it yeah I went down there cuz I thought

[01:16:31] this could blow up before I get back I walked all the way down there from the Mirage it is not an easy walk anymore when I started working there I am so old that I remember when you could walk down the entire strip and back and never

[01:16:43] leave the street now every other block you got to go up the thing and then across the road in the strip and then down the thing and then it stops again there's you can't just go hey let's go for the three mile walk you can't do it

[01:16:55] um and then the other one I mean yeah I know they gotta go but it's just sad in addition to losing Tropicana we're gonna lose Casino Royale and that's right in the middle of strip across them the Tropicana it's right by White Castle

[01:17:10] there's all these little things little things in there but they would have like $2 craps it was just and it was a break if it was super hot if you were walking the strip you're like halfway is Casino Royale I had a little affinity for it

[01:17:23] they had cheap slots it was just like an old-timey place yeah he enormous beers even I was like okay stop pouring that's crazy I can't drink all that the smaller property located directly on the strip between various kissing Caesars

[01:17:38] resorts in the Venetian is famous for offering free play to all walk-in perhaps best known for offering air conditioning as you make often slow walks between those big properties it was built in 1964 it will be knocked

[01:17:52] down or imploded for something much more impressive to take its place it's a quaint piece of Las Vegas history that really requires that really no longer requires being in a world of mega resorts it doesn't it's out of place I know and

[01:18:03] I knew it would be something but it's very it's it's nostalgic and you know what they need to do they got to stop with these enormous resorts like the one that's actually called resorts it's red it's down by the stress here I went

[01:18:13] no way too big way too not cozy way too not fun way too sterile it's across from the wind and then this apparently the Fountain Blue same thing they need to build I think so the Mirage will no longer be the Mirage it's gonna be the

[01:18:27] hard rock now I work hard rocks all around the country and they are it's not what you're thinking of the 90s they're awesome and it's a giant guitar that'll be on the strip and there's rooms in the guitar it's amazing but also it's

[01:18:41] medium-sized at least the ones I've been in we need that's what we need we need medium size we can't these gigantic ones there's just nothing like the Mirage was such a great size cuz I could tell my mom go around to the casino and then I

[01:18:55] could just find her because she's not answering her 1938 flip phone um no so all right yeah this is the last one I'm gonna do for today termites has been a long podcast cuz I feel like I haven't talked to you guys in a while so I had a

[01:19:12] lot to say yeah and happy new year to everybody 2024 we're gonna kill it this is amazing congratulations to Francois Betancourt Myers she is the heir of L'Oreal and she became the first woman with a hundred billion dollars oh

[01:19:34] my god Francois you did it you beat Oprah you beat Tay-Tay Francois Betancourt Myers the granddaughter of the founder of French beauty brand L'Oreal cracked a hundred billion dollar barrier becoming the first woman to boast 12-figure fortune she's 70 years old she dropped to the number 12 spot on Bloomingdale's

[01:19:56] billionaire index after gaining a staggering 836 million ads of Wednesday's closing ballot to peak at 100.2 billion her wealth puts her among the highest earners like Warren Buffett Mark Zuckerberg Jeff Bezos her wealth is from her stake in L'Oreal the world's largest cosmetic company which she inherited

[01:20:18] following the 2017 death of her mother Lillian Betancourt her grandfather founded the company in 1909 families built a beauty empire into two up to 240 billion dollars she's the only an only child Betancourt Myers is known to have a rocky relationship with a mother who triggered a political scandal in

[01:20:39] 2010 by recording her recordings by her former butler sparked probes into President Nikolaev Swarovski's 2007 bid and influence peddling allegations against the former labor minister so-and-so the bitter court battle there's a great documentary about this began merely as a family dispute after

[01:20:59] Lillian her mother roughly gave 1.3 billion dollars in gifts to a friend this made her daughter question whether her elderly mother was fit to manage family's wealth yeah I would question that too yeah I watched this it's on

[01:21:12] Netflix it's called the billionaire the butler and the boyfriend it debuted in November it's a little slow at times but if you stick with it it's just a crazy story I mean it doesn't have the drama that's the billionaire the butler

[01:21:27] and the boyfriend mm-hmm she's a reclusive billionaire who plays piano for hours each day she's a vice chair of board of L'Oreal which has come to include subsidiaries like Maybelline Kiehl's and NYX among other cosmetics

[01:21:46] she had her sons Jean Victor Maillard and Nikolai Maillard are also directors and they're only in their 30s imagine that mm-hmm congratulations to Francois Francois making women look good all right termites is it's been a long one

[01:22:09] hope you stuck with me um no I never do New Year's resolutions no because I there's no reason to set myself up for disappointment disappointment will come as life goes on life will give you disappointment so reasons sickles it

[01:22:27] doesn't give me joy because I don't do them it gives me joy to not do them the only thing I did say is I'm gonna take one of my old DVDs and cut it up and put

[01:22:35] it on tick-tock that's what I got going well I've looked at it for a long time I'm like there's some funny shit on there I should do that and then it just sits in the office I am gonna lift more weights because after seeing my parents

[01:22:50] get old the one thing you're gonna need is strength and muscle not just oh I took a walk today that's the shit I've been trying to pull off for a long time and I

[01:23:02] can tell you looking at my mom and dad that's not gonna be enough no no so I'm gonna get somebody over here and tell me what to do so yeah Tim Wilkins he's my friend and a comedian and he's a weightlifter guy it's amazing he's oh the

[01:23:19] over 50 crowd he went all in at 50 it's amazing yeah he was always in great shape yeah he's very disciplined person so I like hanging out with him it's like it's like an animal I've never around like there's no comedians that are that

[01:23:32] disciplined as Tim no not not a fucking one of them and he's just like this different breed it's just fascinating he gets so excited so you get to the gym about six like you already lost me six no no how about two two after a nice

[01:23:48] lunch um there's where I'm going termites come find me Wichita it's gonna be super cold but what else do you have to do Friday Saturday Tulsa and then Santa Rosa Wheatland San Luis Obispo Monterey Birmingham Alabama Atlanta good I can

[01:24:05] drive Atlanta drive Scottsdale talking stick I love it Chattanooga Huntsville I can drive. I'm so sick of flying I'm so sick of flying I mean it's fine I like the Delta Lounge I like my friends in there the bartenders all

[01:24:23] everybody in it I know everybody in Atlanta everybody in Nashville I'm a regular on their planes and I'm a it's all Delta although Detroit two nights well technically Royal Oak Dayton Indy San Antonio Austin Marietta Ohio Cincinnati second housing market you should look into according to Zillow

[01:24:45] Tarrytown and Wilmington Delaware and Thousand Oaks California and then the fall is booked I just can't say where I'm going because the tickets aren't on sale and then if I say that and then people start calling a venue the venues

[01:24:58] get mad at me and we don't need the venues mad at me no we do not you can't announce thing until they're on sale and if you're looking for something weird to

[01:25:05] watch I forgot to say I would go Lewis told me to go watch Fargo the show every season is different um and he said he loves Chris Rock like personally he's a very nice person I like Chris but he said that season he thought was a little

[01:25:19] bit boring so I didn't do go to that one I went to the current one I watched all that and then I went to season two Gene Smarts and that was great they're very weird and they're violent um and I really didn't understand at the end I

[01:25:34] loved the show but they I don't know it got I don't know I think there's symbolism involved and that's where I don't keep up we're like well didn't you

[01:25:43] see the fish come out of the back of the car what no I didn't and even if I had I wouldn't have known what the fuck that meant but Kathleen they had talked about earlier the fishes no no I don't remember that yeah I don't I'm late to

[01:25:59] the party on yeah whatever but it's it was a it's a fun show if you're looking for something to binge and the acting is phenomenal everybody's in it Karen and Coggins in it I mean all these people Billy Bob Thornton's in seat the season

[01:26:12] two I think I'm watching now um Gene Smart just there's so many great people everybody took over took the gig I guess they all like the writing or something I don't know because I can't imagine it paid Chris's I haven't seen

[01:26:24] it but yeah what am I doing which time I'm gonna go to Spangles to get a hamburger they also have a giant slushy mimosa I can't believe that this fast food place has a liquor license right just because they had I did it I wasn't

[01:26:46] even thinking about a drink I was gonna get a diet coke and I'm like oh but wait looky here what's the orange slush um and I don't know what else I'm not going outside Tulsa there's a recording studio I'm gonna go to her they sent a

[01:27:04] thing it's like muscle shoals but it's of Tulsa and I want to see it so I'm gonna go to that for fun and then I don't know Tulsa I just hang out with my friends once you've done Oral Roberts University which is really

[01:27:16] something to see everyone should go the you know he said he saw the 600-foot Jesus oh it's just and I don't know I haven't been in years so it might have changed I shouldn't even speak on that but Tulsa is just one of those towns

[01:27:31] where I just call my friends and go at beers yeah there's not a lot of what I would call touristy things I mean termites you can correct me if there's something I don't know about but you know it's Tulsa yeah go find your

[01:27:44] friends go have beers plenty of great bars and good beer yeah they weird beers too they're into it yeah