Episode 156: UFC + Bud Light, Meeting Mattress Mack & Dolly’s Rockstar Movie Announcement

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan, welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on. Terabytes! Wow, rock my dinosaur noise. Terabytes, it's episode, is that better? Episode 156, welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. What is Anadelphi? Everybody likes that.

[00:00:43] Okay, hello Terabytes, how are you? Welcome to episode 156 of Madigan's Pubcast. I mean it's not really a pub, I say that but it's just me drinking on a table that I got somewhere I think on Wayfarer, I don't have to put together myself.

[00:01:00] And the legs aren't really that sturdy, I wouldn't recommend that. I need to talk about trying to move it, everything falls off. Anyway, I'm Kai. Oh Anna, she's been quiet. No updates on Anna as of late, she's still stuck trapped in that shitty apartment in

[00:01:17] New York trying to figure out her next fashion show I guess. So many things, Terabytes, you know, I don't even know if I should talk about it this week, I may have to wait until next week but if you've never, I'm gonna have to

[00:01:30] do thank yous and all that but the Buffy St. Marie thing has blown my mind. We'll talk about it because I need a Terabytes to go watch everything before I can really talk about it because I don't think most people, you know, paddles your Canadian, I'm informed

[00:01:47] about these things. I watch weird documentaries so I already knew about her. Lewis was like, she's smoking hot! First of all, she's 82 and I go, ummm, okay. But she was a folk singer like of Lou's era, you know, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, ummm, Anyway, we'll get to it.

[00:02:10] I'm so excited though. All my little Canadian friends are having meltdowns, meltdowns. I've texted all of them just to stir the pot. What are we going to do about this situation? What are we going to do? You're national folk heroes, a liar!

[00:02:29] All right, so right now I'm drinking a beer that makes me laugh because it's called Nido Bandito and it's a Bruton Dallas in Debellum. But what's crazy, it's a Czech inspired Mexican lager. You really don't hear that combo very often.

[00:02:44] You can't walk into a bar and go, do you have a Czech Mexican inspired lager? Thank you. Oh no, you only have Bud Light. That's fine. I'll just have a Bud Light. I was hoping for a Czech inspired Mexican.

[00:02:59] That is from Kristin and Kevin in Fort Worth and this Bucky's mug that I'm drinking out of. That came from a termite too. I'll figure it out. Oh, from Megan. I got a lot of Bucky's stuff because Texas rules on yes.

[00:03:14] And I needed a new one because through the dishwasher, my Bucky's thing. These fade to a little shout out Bucky's. Maybe maybe get some ones where they don't fit. Just saying maybe it's a ploy to get me to buy them. So thank you.

[00:03:30] They brought a bunch of beer. Kristin and Kevin, this is Fort Worth backstage. So we'll do the thank me. The whole thing was great. I'll tell you about it. Cat Mom Tea, Elsie. It's very cute. It's in the wash.

[00:03:42] Kendall and Micah, they brought me a Dallas Pegasus ornament because I didn't realize the Pegasus thing from Standard Oil. Is it here? Yeah, on the desk somewhere. On the desk somewhere. Oh, here it is. Yeah, is this Exxon or Standard Oil? It's Standard Oil. Exxon Now. Yeah.

[00:04:01] The original Pegasus sign. That's a Pegasus. Since 1934. Yeah, Exxon. Why did I think it was? Oh, and they merged with mobile. That's why. Somebody bought some. In 1966. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, it's very cool. It's a very nice Christmas red too. That's a happy.

[00:04:20] Yeah, I got a Bucky's Yeti mug. That's from Henry and Lisa. Lisa and Bill from New Mexico. They came all the way from New Mexico. We're working on New Mexico. Yeah, we're working on New Mexico. I'm working on Albuquerque. I don't why am I being denied?

[00:04:35] I do understand where the agents are going to say it's a problem. This is just a little behind the scenes look for people who wonder why people don't come to cities as often as other cities. It's hard to route it with something. It's kind of out there.

[00:04:47] You Albuquerqueans, you're out there on your own doing whatever sneaky things you're doing in your own little area. But you're making it. That's why St. Louis gets so many shows because we're a good connector city. And then I don't have a tour bus.

[00:05:00] I do not want to tour bus for people with tour buses, though the routing's got to work. And Albuquerque, you're just out there on their own. So you're on your own. So what I was thinking is maybe I'll just make a weekend out of it

[00:05:11] and not have another show. I don't that's what sometimes my agents can't wrap their head around either because I'm like, I'm fine doing one show. And they're like, oh, OK, so you're not going to get mad if there's no Friday.

[00:05:22] No, I'm not going to get mad at all. I'm going to be drinking somewhere in their awesome little town. And find out what secret little pigs are things that are doing out there. Why can't I go on a little tiny vacation to Albuquerque? To read or Santa Fe.

[00:05:37] I've only been there once. It was for a corporate gig and it was in and out and I was trapped by corporate people and I was fine. But, you know, they're not really that fun. That group wasn't. Some others have been extremely fun.

[00:05:49] I'll tell you who's drinking their ass off in this country corporate wise. And I applaud it. Veteran's and dentist. Woo. I've received two groups of a profession. Drink like crazy people. And I completely am the comedian for that gig. If you want me, call me back.

[00:06:10] She brought some Halifah theme for Halloween for themed gummy bears. That was very hard. Yes. And I haven't even drank my beers yet. Kirsten made me pasta for dinner. Oh, cool. Yeah. Brought it backstage. I ate it with the staff. It was delicious because I hadn't eaten

[00:06:27] because I got stuck in crazy traffic. Julie and Rebecca. Oh, my God, because going into Fort Worth. The parking is so crazy. And you're in this area where there's kiss. The band was at the big giant will Rogers audit the Coliseum deal. I'm at the like 2,500 cedar.

[00:06:47] There's is like an 8000 cedar. Then there's a gun show. But we're also in the middle of a cattle thing. So the lady, we pull in the wrong gate and this guy's like, it's $15. I go, really? I got to pay $15 a park for my own show.

[00:07:04] I mean, I have it if this is what we're going to do. But I don't think we're at the right gate. So we go around and the lady goes, here's what you're gonna go and do. You're gonna drive down. You're gonna see the sheep building.

[00:07:14] You're gonna go right. And then on the left, it's the swine building. It actually said swine. And you're gonna see the swine. I'm like, are they in there now? I don't think the edibles are in there now. And then you're going to see all them kiss people. Kiss.

[00:07:28] I mean, how do they do it? They sold 8000 tickets. The makeup door. They have to be my age or older. I know. But usually you don't those people. You don't know. They're everybody's getting older. I look Google to Gene Simmons is like 72.

[00:07:41] I don't even know how these people are still. He's 74. Yeah, Paul Stanley, 71. Paul Stanley, 71. The youngster. I was made for loving you, baby. My favorite song, a kiss. And this is why I didn't really love the rest of the songs.

[00:07:58] Because the first one I heard as a kid was Beth. I loved it. Beth, I hear you call it. But I can't come home right now. Because me and the boys are playing. And he had a beautiful voice. And then I buy the record.

[00:08:14] And then it's, I was made for loving you, baby. No. We had. Well, I felt like I got candleboxed on the Kiss album. And when I say you got candleboxed, it means I spent my hard earned $16 on that candle box CD because I love that song far behind.

[00:08:35] And nothing else sounded like that. Oh, maybe I could change you better. Anyway, Julie and Rebecca, oh, they brought me Bucky's White Cheddar Nuggets. I've always been tempted to buy them and I don't. So thank you for buying them. This came backstage, a shit ton of kettle corn.

[00:08:54] This is in Houston. And my friend Nancy, her son and his wife, and I call them the children. They're not that young. Yeah, it's Matt and Kate and then their friends came backstage. This is really good. It's Uncle Dave's Kettle Corn. But they brought me every flavor.

[00:09:10] And like, I don't know. Well, Matt and Kate, I don't even know how old these people are in their late 20s, 30s. I call them the children. They came back to say hi and they were like, whoa, are you going to eat all that?

[00:09:25] I said, I am Matt. I'm going to sit here till 4 in the morning and eat 18 bags of kettle corn. And I'm going to do different flavors across the board so I make sure to vomit every flavor. I said, no. Well, they were so excited.

[00:09:39] I'm like, have at it. There were two that I kept for myself and I'm like, you can't have those. And then I let them have it. So it was very exciting. It's probably Gagel's she though, her family owns it. Yeah, her family owns the Dave Kettle's corn.

[00:09:53] She's a flight attendant. Is this a lady who's a flight attendant? Yeah. Alex? Is it a lady? Yeah. Wow. See, I insult somebody at least once an hour. Maybe not. I don't know. Well, it says your family owns the business. Well, well done.

[00:10:07] If you like kettle corn, this old bag is really good. OK. I'll have some after. I think they had a bunch of kettle corn down at the Fort or a stock yard, too. Just a little treat. They're making it to it.

[00:10:19] Katie and Dave bought Rudy's original barbecue sauce. I had some barbecue in Fort Worth. It was good even though Texas, sorry, Texas, yours barbecue is a little sweeter sometimes. I'm more of not. But I need a little barbecue. Good barbecue. Oh, it's really good. Rudy's.

[00:10:38] Yeah, it's got kick to it. She brought me a giant bucky tote bag. That's actually really cool. It's not the same because of the colors. Julie brought me some Kansas City golf ball teas. Yeah, I'll be leaving those all over the Tennessee golf course.

[00:10:56] And then I'm just going to write with the tee, tighten up. Yeah. Sammy and Gail, Sammy just finished chemo. So congratulations on that. And maybe chemo, too. And chemo, did you finish your chemo and a game of chemo? They should have chemo at chemo.

[00:11:15] So people don't have to sit there bored. Here you go. Did you get the bullseye? The bullseye is seven. Laura from the Irish Society of Houston. I don't picture a lot of Irish people in Houston, but I guess there are. Gave me all kinds of bucky stuff.

[00:11:34] Jen and Sarah, we're almost done. Red Velvet Oreos. Let's taste them. I love Red Velvet. Here's all the beer. That's a really good. Yeah, my dad's an Oreo guy. I'm in the dog eat them in the morning. It's so bizarre. They have a Yorkie. Her name's Maggie.

[00:11:56] It's the most spoiled creature to ever walk on Earth. And I swear to God, they like her better than any of us kids. Yeah, I mean, if I got hit by a car, he'd be like, well, is your insurance going to cover the injuries?

[00:12:08] Maggie gets hit by a car? Oh, Christ. We'd all have to airlift to the next town. Yeah. No, he eats the regular Oreos. Those are really good. The Red Velvet one is if you're a Red Velvet person. Good. I am. Ryan and Kevin bought cat toys. Baby cat.

[00:12:28] So excited when I return. Now she knows. Chappos kind of getting it too. Cato, not so much. Um, the Tall City Brewing Head. Is that? No, that's a 7-1 music hall for Tanya. That's Robin and DJ from Midland, Texas, which I've been to.

[00:12:46] There's I call it the spaceship, that theater out there. Karen and Barry got me a Bucky's Hoodie, which I have brought home on Washington. And their company makes them. How rich are you two? Whoa, whoa, the Grave Standard Bucky's Hoodie, that one because I stopped at Bucky's halfway

[00:13:02] from Fort Worth to Houston. It was packed. I got a breakfast taco. Even their breakfast tacos are good. The eggs are real. It's not gross. Terry and Reagan brought Rick House Brewing and jalapeno pepper, jalapeno pepper salt. And then this, somebody brought me crazy water

[00:13:19] and I gotta say I lost the card. There was a lot going on back there, but they have a whole proclamation from this town, Mineral Wells, and they make crazy, crazy water because it's so good, it's crazy. Mineral Water, yeah. Mineral Wells, Texas. No, it's just water.

[00:13:37] But they are telling me that I can golf anytime I want at Holiday Hills Golf. I'm an honored guest. Here's the thing, I'm gonna retire in like six years after I retire. I'm gonna turn up with this piece of paper and go.

[00:13:49] You said I could have free golf. Do you not remember? Because who is this old lady out there? I have a certificate. It's got a seal and everything. Let me in. I want to golf. That's right. Somebody brought me Bucky bandages for my dad.

[00:14:04] So those are going with me this week up to see Jackalope. Let me put some of this down out of my way. We'll put the Noreal Reels right there. You got one more kettle for the taste. What? You got one more kettle? Okay, what's the other flavor?

[00:14:20] Let's see and then we're moving on with this show. Lone Star. It says Texas Two-Stop. It's the Texas Two-Stop Playlist. Well, yeah, I gotta tell you. So Fort Worth. Everybody should go to Fort Worth. And used them for that matter, but. What's really good? I don't know.

[00:14:44] It's like cheddar cheese or something. Yeah and caramel corn. Yeah, not caramel corn, but that's for my mom. I'm with the cheese people. Yeah. The Fort Worth Stockyards. It's just like an old-timey movie. It's all actual saloons, et cetera.

[00:15:01] You go in there, the buildings are from the 1800s. And then at 1130 on weekdays, the time is different on weekends. They do the cattle drive down the street and the long horns come out and they're so incredible. They're magical looking.

[00:15:17] I don't understand why some of their horns go down and some go up. Maybe they get too heavy. I don't know. I'm sure it's a stupid question. Some of the long horns, their horns go down. Others, they're going up.

[00:15:28] I don't know if they just got too big and heavy and the cow is old. We can't live to sign up anymore. It's a long time to live like that. Imagine if your ears were like eight feet long.

[00:15:42] And then I thought he could never really lay on his side and sleep. They have to sleep sitting up. Anyway, and then they had goats and somebody gave me shit online saying petting zoos are nice. These are not petting zoos. These are goats that live on a farm

[00:15:58] and they're brought into town every now and then. It's an outing. It's an outing. Yeah, they get to go out and they get fed. I was the only one at the moment in the goat pen. And then the next people that came in were adults too

[00:16:12] so I felt less weird. I felt less weird. Yeah, am I in a kids area that I shouldn't be? No, those five bucks if you eat the goats. It's just like what you picture an old Texas town to be. The bars are fun.

[00:16:27] There's an old hotel there called the Stockyard. Wow, to go in there. I mean it looks like it's out of a movie set. Is that ticket? I wrote it down somewhere. Hold on. I gotta get that one piece of paper back anyway. I forget what it was called.

[00:16:42] The Stockyard Hotel. I didn't stay there. But downtown Fort Worth, which is only like 10 minutes away from there is also fun. And it's not as crowded as other cities let's say. It's just something different. We used to go drinking there. When I would work at the improv sometimes

[00:17:01] we'd go over to Fort Worth because it was cheaper and go down to those old saloons. I also tasted fried corn. Yeah, I don't know. Rather save the calories. And I also didn't check and burnt the shit out of my mouth because it was so hot.

[00:17:16] I'm like, all right, I'll try fried corn. It's like fried cauliflower or whatever. And they let you get a beer down there and just walk around while you're waiting on the cattle drive. No, there's a million stores. I'm not into Western wear

[00:17:32] but if you were that's where you wanna go. You don't have cowboy boots? I do not have cowboy boots. I'm too short. I don't, if I'm gonna wear a heel I'm wearing a heel or not. But yeah, but the heels are like this big. They're like Ron DeSantis'

[00:17:46] he's been caught by the way. Yeah, putting lifts in his shoes. Yeah. So then moving on to Hughes the show was great. Also the, then Houston was so fun but here's the greatest thing. I went to gallery furniture because they told me Mattress Mack

[00:18:04] I've read that he just is there a lot. I didn't have some special meeting or anyone call. I just thought, well, you know, let's go. And it, I thought it was gonna be like more of a mattress warehouse. Like no, it is an enormous, awesome furniture store.

[00:18:21] Now the mattress part is part of it too. And when you walk in, you're greeted by like salespeople that are awesome. And this guy Roger was like, he knew he recognized me and he was real nice. I go, you know, I'm not here to buy any furniture

[00:18:35] truth be told I don't. Although he had some really cool shit. I'm like, man, if I worked here he had actually the same kitchen table I have except more modern. No, it was great. It's like a giant picnic table thing but not like a picnic table

[00:18:48] but like a picnic table. Anyway, I said his, his real name is Jim Mac and Vail. Vail, Vail, whatever it was. And he said, oh, he's over. Yeah, yeah, he's over there. He's having a little get together but feel free, he's fine.

[00:19:07] You can just walk right up to him and I had a T-shirt for him. So yeah, that's how you trick people. You just go, would you like a free T-shirt and then go kind of a picture? Like, yes, I know they took the shirt

[00:19:18] because I shoved it in his hand. I'm sure Magistrate had no idea who I was. Did he talk to him for a minute? I did talk to him, he was very, very nice. And then somebody gave me shit online saying, you know, he's a big Republican.

[00:19:31] You know what, here's the thing. I don't really care what party you're in as long as you do the right thing. His philanthropy is outstanding. Now if you wanna form, if you wanna raise some money and run against him because you disagree with his politics

[00:19:44] I disagree with some of the things he says too but you're never gonna agree with everybody so the guy, one of the guys told me, I said his philanthropy is amazing and he goes, that's only what people actually know about because the furniture, the big gallery store

[00:20:00] is not in the good neighborhood. It's not in the best of neighborhoods. Let's put it that way. He said he's built a grade school, a high school, a trade school and it's all free. For the, yeah, like he, you know, here's what was even crazier though

[00:20:17] as I turned the corner and I saw him and I got really excited. I also saw Jim Jordan. Yes, the senator that he just got. So I think it was a little fundraiser for Jim Jordan maybe and you know, I'm not on the same page as Jim Jordan

[00:20:34] but I am like a news junkie and I was like, no, fuck it, no, uh, that is Jim Jordan right there by that plant and nobody, everybody wanted to talk to Matt, there's Matt, but Jim was just standing with his arms folded. He's a very weird color.

[00:20:49] I've always thought that on TV of like 400 people just said to you three times last week, no, no, we don't like you. He's a gray color. But he's, some of my comedian friends that go vegan, they turn a weird color for a while.

[00:21:06] Sometimes the coloring comes back, sometimes it doesn't but he's that color. It's like Lou describes it as blue, green, gray. This is all right. But it was just weird and this furniture store is massive, there's just old people walking around little donuts. I don't, it wasn't like organized.

[00:21:24] I don't know somebody, nobody, I didn't hear anybody give a speech but I walked right up to him, introduced myself and he hit, you know, he's the skinny old man you see. Great teeth. He clearly has spent a little money on himself.

[00:21:38] When he smiles, you're like boy, oh, oh, oh, wow, those are really something. And the Astros have lost so. Yeah, he lost $7.9 million the week before that and didn't seem one bit sad. All the employees like him. So, you know, as long as you're doing the right thing,

[00:21:53] politics aside, if you disagree with his politics then you gotta run it, you know, get some money yourself and support the people you wanna support. Yes, I'm aware of his politics but I'm more aware of his gambling habits which I enjoy and I'm more aware of his philanthropy

[00:22:09] because I don't think you see people like when you go to New York or older cities, you see the Vanderbilt Library or the Carnegie, go to Pittsburgh, everything is Carnegie and these people built things that were free for the general public. Philanthropy was a thing

[00:22:25] and now I just don't feel like it's a thing. Like where's the park or fucking even Charlie Daniels, the devil went down to Georgia, built a park right over there like 10 miles from here, this arm sitting. But he actually does stuff. So, good for him. Was he nice?

[00:22:46] He was very nice. Did he talk to you for a while? Yeah, he talked. Yeah, I just told him I had a show in town and I, whatever, and I liked his gambling. We talked about, because when you walk in

[00:22:56] he had a sign that had a four way parlay. A parlay for you people that don't gamble is a bet that has many components, not just one. Like if you say the chiefs will beat the cowboys,

[00:23:10] that's a one bet, but if you say the chiefs will beat the cowboys. Also, Patrick Mahomes will throw for 300 passing yards. You're now building a parlay. He had a four way parlay on his sign that even I as a really, really good,

[00:23:24] well long term gambler, long time seasoned. Is that a nice way to say my problem? My problem is seasoned. This four way parlay, and it was all about Texas college teams. And if this thing hit, you got X amount of money off your furniture on this date,

[00:23:43] but I'm outside reading it going, whoa, this is, I'm, yeah, I have a hard time figuring all this out if this is a good parlay. I mean, he picked the parlay, so he's probably pretty good at it, but also I wanted to take him aside and go,

[00:23:56] oh, here's the thing, Jim, I understand that parlay out there, but I like have a PhD in gambling. How about you just put one out, we kick the cowboys ass yes or no, and then you get money, just a little simpler for the average customer.

[00:24:11] But God love him for going that far into it. All right, let's move on with the show here. Thank yous for all that, off to St. Louis this week. And well, we'll start with some Queen news. Dolly is teaming up with Cracker Barrel. Stop it.

[00:24:30] How many of you have been in a Cracker Barrel? Hey, breaking news too for these, I've always been around Cracker Barrels everywhere, but are there parts where we don't have Cracker Barrel in the United States? I don't know. I don't know. Seems like they're everywhere.

[00:24:43] You shouldn't live there. The gift shop is always enough to blow your mind. And I always go look for Jeff Fox where they make sure his CDs are in there. But they do love a team up, Cracker Barrel. Now here's the breaking news,

[00:24:57] the real breaking news of Cracker Barrel, they serve beer and wine now. They never used to have alcohol. Yeah, here's what's weird. The lady walked up, she's got, it's so exciting. We have wine and beer now if you'd be interested in that. I go, oh wine.

[00:25:13] And she goes, well Sangria. I'm like, oh my God, let's not, you had no wine six months ago and you just jumped straight to Sangria. How about just a nice Cabernet? How about a little Chardonnay with my pancakes? Hmm? Yeah, yeah. They do serve liquor now.

[00:25:36] So apparently Cracker Barrel's not been doing so good post COVID and the prices, I don't know, they said their business is down but now maybe it'll come up. Dolly Parton maybe 77 years young but she's busier than ever. She's still creating, we know all that.

[00:25:52] She's, oh and well she's having a listening party in movie theaters and I bought a ticket. It was $16. I have no idea what's gonna happen. They're just gonna show me a movie that's a music video, I guess. Well I wanna go. Well you can go.

[00:26:07] I bought four tickets in case my neighbors wanted to go. Jebi. But not me, Jebi, Jebi wants to go. No then you could be the fourth one or little Dwarfman. Oh. Little Dwarfman loves an outing. So I'm not supposed to know about this.

[00:26:22] Well no, I'm just saying it now. I did it yesterday. Okay. Weird. They're gonna, she's gonna team up with Cracker Barrel as the face of Rewards That Rock, a campaign that honors the brand's recently launched Rewards Program, Cracker Barrel Rewards and Dolly's new album.

[00:26:40] To celebrate their giving reward members a chance to win one of 667 custom design Dolly Parton Rocking Chairs. I'm so signing up. I'm gonna do this why I sit there and have pancakes and Miller Lite. Delicious. What a perfect timing for Cracker Barrel

[00:27:00] to launch its Rewards That Rock program right when I'm debuting my first rock album, Rockstar. Seems like it was meant to be. You'll be able to get my new album and exclusive merchandise from Cracker Barrel and sign up for the new Cracker Barrel Rewards.

[00:27:11] So turn up the volume. Let's get rocking. I'll do it. I'll sign up. I go there. Lou loves a Cracker Barrel. Nobody loves a Cracker Barrel more than Louis Black because Louis Black lives in New York City and he can't get to a Cracker Barrel very often

[00:27:26] so he has to go out on the open road of America and find what we're all doing, the good stuff. Tanya Tucker, finally a little news. Wearing my 713 music hall hat that I got, by the way when I got to the venue, they made baby cat stickers.

[00:27:43] I couldn't believe it. I got three and I have to think very hard where I'm gonna put them. One's going on my computer, the joke books, whatever. Baby cat, they thought of that. I'm like, is that my cat? Like, oh my God, who did this?

[00:27:56] There's always a youngster. Yeah, anyway, Tanya got inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. And for you of the children, if you don't really understand Tanya, I would recommend you go listen to Delta Dawn and my other favorite is, what's your mama's name, Jack?

[00:28:16] What's your mama's name? I love her voice. So congratulations. She's been famous since she was 13. So she's only like 62. I thought when somebody's been famous that long, you just assume they're like 100. She's awesome. Mm-hmm. She's always doing fun stuff in Nashville.

[00:28:38] Taylor Swift's record came out, 1989, the biggest album. She's just gonna destroy the charts, everything in her way. If I was a performer, anyway, shape, form or music, I'd be like, I'm not doing anything until she goes on vacation. When does that lady go on vacation?

[00:28:56] It's already been released. I will let you know. I bought one for you. You bought one for me? Okay. Yeah, I don't really know that one. Olivia Rodriguez also likely to secure another number one instant with her sophomore album guts. But I'm not really interested in it.

[00:29:12] I think my niece is like her. Olivia, she's for the youngsters. All right, we're moving on. That's all my Queen news. Dolly, Stevie, Stevie's out on the road. She was in Memphis. That looked fun. Cher, nothing. Nope, quiet. I didn't get any suggestions for a new Queen.

[00:29:33] Oh, there were a lot? Yeah, we're gonna compile them and vote. We're gonna compile them and vote. Okay. Update! I have some good updates. Mark Zuckerberg's meta has lost nearly 50 billion on the metaverse, more than Ford, Hershey or Kraft Heinz are worth.

[00:29:53] What have I said for two years on this podcast? Nobody wants your stupid goggles. It's that simple. Especially when there's knockoff ones for 300 bucks. Yeah. 50 billion. He doesn't even care. Nope. Nike's Phil Knight, Naveedah's Jen Hang and Citadel's Kevin Griffin are all worth less on paper.

[00:30:21] Are you kidding? Phil Knight. Yep. Wow. 50 billion. The Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp owner has lost 47 billions in reality lab division since the start of 2019. An insider analyst of regulatory failure is found. The segment operating loss is ballooned from below five billion. Oh my God.

[00:30:45] Are you saying he's not philanthropic? Is he philanthropic? Not to my knowledge. No. No, he's just buying up Hawaii for him. He's acquiring Hawaii. He's buying Hawaii and eventually he's gonna run into a stone wall that says Oprah on it. You know, are you gonna buy Oprah too?

[00:31:04] Huh? How are you gonna do that? OP8-7. I don't know. I've never heard anything about him being philanthropic. I just know he's buying Hawaii and they're pissed. They expect the trend to continue. We expect our operating losses to increase meaningfully in 2024.

[00:31:23] When do you, this is like a bad gambler. Get out of the casino. It's not your day. Get away from the back off from the machine. Those are things I have to tell myself. Kathleen, walk away. Walk away, it's not your day. Go get something to eat. Stop.

[00:31:39] Yep. I mean, he's just gonna keep going on this metaverse thing. It's so... Well, I don't walk away. I walk away from video poker and my Wheel of Fortune slot machine and I walk right over to the video poker bar

[00:31:53] and go, oh well look, here's a whole new thing and then they say sometimes I'll walk over the Crab stable if everybody seems pleasant. Oh God. He's just gonna keep pouring more money into it. Yeah, but just fake, this is like Jerry Jones.

[00:32:13] Sometimes you make a choice that's just not gonna work and you have to accept that. But these bullheaded billionaires, they won't accept it. Update! This is all part of it. The banks which loaned Elon Musk money to help buy Twitter expected to lose two billion

[00:32:32] because he's destroyed it. It's worth, I think his intention was, I swear to God, I think his intention was to destroy it because it was a liberal, kind of a liberal enclave because most of the people on there are entertainers and you know, they're sports.

[00:32:49] It's just, it's the casual. It's not the business people. And I think he bought it to wreck it. What is it? What was it? It's the Florence and the Machine song. I built this ship to wreck. You did this. And here's what I've noticed too.

[00:33:05] How about you termites? The ones that are on Twitter, I refuse to call it X. I, so it'll say, oh, these four people followed you. And that shows up on my feet. But I just keep losing followers over and over. And once we cleared the bots out,

[00:33:22] everybody got a hit of okay, there goes a bunch of people. That's fine, get rid of the bots. I don't really care how many followers I have as long as it's still interactive. But it is weird that people are signing up

[00:33:33] to follow me and the flower count gets, I think he's doing it across the board. I think he's slowly killing it because he doesn't like it. Wall Street loaned him 13 billion. The banks are now prepared to unload the debt and expect to take a 15% hit. Wow.

[00:33:50] Yeah, how come we don't get to do that? If I go borrow from a bank and I don't pay them back, eventually I'm going to jail. Yeah. When the world's richest person agreed by the social media company for 44 billion last October,

[00:34:07] 13 billion was loaned by the likes of Morgan Stanley, Bank of America and the Barclays. The loans are backed by some of Tesla's stock. In the year that he owned the platform, he's faced a number of struggles. Download apps fell by 30%. The bank, nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh.

[00:34:24] So he just, I don't think he cares. And then there's this other article at Musk as X is tilting right and sinking. I don't notice a whole lot more right wing stuff. No. I don't, it seems about the same to me,

[00:34:41] but I also noticed there's not a lot of new people in the conversation. People used to join up a lot more. I think he's, well, he's aiming to rid it of a woke mind virus that he believed was suppressing free speech. The site's business outlook appears dire.

[00:35:00] The number of people actively tweeting his drop by more than 30%, according to the previously unreported data obtained by the Washington Post. And the company is hemorrhaging advertisers and revenues. I never even see ads on Twitter. I don't think I do, no.

[00:35:16] I never signed up to be verified and I am. Well, I was originally, but they- You're just a stance good girl, good girl. Yeah, I'll show you. Well then he said we're gonna have to pay to be on here. Nobody's gonna do that, he knows that.

[00:35:27] I think he just doesn't care. He wanted it to be far less woke. Twitter's not woke. Calling it X. Is his woke as anything else? I mean, it's all the same. Yeah, it's what you're following. Right. He's rapidly re-engineered who has a voice on a service.

[00:35:49] Not really, my dad's the same people, I see. Even on trending, people I don't follow. Oh, well okay. Right wing influencers and media found that many saw their followers count rise on the day he became owner and continued rising at a rate higher than under Twitter's previous ownership.

[00:36:07] None of the dozens of popular liberal and left wing accounts show the same pattern. Mine doesn't. But I also, I'm not left wing or liberal. I'm tweeting about comedy. That's nothing to do with politics. Occasionally I'll tweet something about Jim Jordan. Like Saturday.

[00:36:25] Why are you on a mattress store? Well, when you make people continuously vote and they've already told you they don't like you, you've become the cycle boyfriend. Why don't you tell me again why you don't like me? Stop texting, stop it. When Musk hired a new CEO,

[00:36:45] one of her first moves was to court Fox News host Tucker Carlton to launch his new program on X. Is it even on there? I don't know. They signed a revenue sharing deal earlier this month. Him and Tucker Carlson. I don't know.

[00:37:02] It's sinking, but yeah, why would you make a deal with Tucker? Why would he do it? It's a sinking ship. Update! Two more artists have sold their catalogs. Oh my God. Christine McVee and Pat Benatar. What? Now this time they won't disclose for how much. Yeah.

[00:37:34] Christine McVee has passed away. So it's her estate doing it. And then Pat, Pat's still alive and out there and still has a great voice. So I get the old people though, we've talked about it on the podcast. They want the tax breaks and get rid of it.

[00:37:51] And you know, I don't know. All we've ever been taught is ownership is everything and they're just giving away ownership. I don't know. That's how, you know. Legacy acts have drawn the most attention in this space as older superstars like Bob Dylan, Bruce Friesian,

[00:38:10] Tina Turner, Exchanger works for major upfront checks. Many of Harbor views, that's who's buying it, biggest deals came from Latin, hip hop and country. Three genres that fell under the radar for rock, radar to rock for acquisitions in the past,

[00:38:27] some of the leaders, but have started to heat up now. Well, I don't know. I wouldn't do it. How what? Chevy got everywhere and that ad, you freaked out. Chevy? Who called them? Voltgar, they use an everywhere song. Oh, I wanna be with you everywhere.

[00:38:48] That's a Fleetwood mac one though. But that catalog's been sold too. So then they go through the commercial people, whatever you're advertising, you go, what's available, send me the price and then they pick something. I don't know. Update! This because if you know my act,

[00:39:06] my dad was a lawyer and I had to listen to all the things my dad thought his entire life, when he would come home from work. And he always said, if you don't have to take the stand, don't ever do it. Ever, ever, ever, ever.

[00:39:19] And if the police ask you to go anywhere, ask if you're under arrest and if you're not, don't go with them. Okay, very simple things. It's a PSA from Jack Madigan. I do not recall and I need attorney,

[00:39:31] is the only thing you're ever gonna say to the police. Even if you're innocent, don't be taken lie detector test because you feel nervous, like whatever. So when I see these mistakes, I just go, oh my God, FXT founder, Sam Beckman-Fried and I'm obsessed with him

[00:39:48] because he's just another con man, wanted a children through the Bitcoin that took all the donations and just spent the shit out of it. They are sociopathic on a level. How do you not see that you will get caught? This is like a Casey Anthony level.

[00:40:03] Well, you're taking the cops to Universal Studios saying you work there and you don't. I mean, at some point reality hits your fan. Right, well, little Sammy, because he's cocky decided to take the stand and he is cracked under pressure on the stand

[00:40:17] as he struggles to answer questions and nervously reaches for water during brutal cross examination. All he kept saying is I don't recall, I don't remember, but he had an attitude, a bad little attitude that judge reprimanded him, basically told him to answer the questions

[00:40:34] like a normal goddamn person. That doesn't look good, does it, Sam? No, he's gonna go to prison forever and the girlfriend pleaded guilty and ratted him out. Oh! Yeah, yeah. He was just a little asshole on the stand but the jury's pick up on that

[00:40:52] and they're not gonna, it's just really a bad idea and it got worse. Yeah, he's a total little prick but his parents aren't much better. No, they're terrible people. He was shown a document outlining the financial terms between FTX and Alameda

[00:41:13] and asked the court to show where it allowed Alameda, meaning him, to take their money. He said, I wouldn't phrase it that way. The answer to the question you're trying to ask is yes. Oh my God! I know! Oh! What a little prick. Oh shit.

[00:41:32] They asked him once again, she said, show me the relevant part of the document. I'm not a lawyer, I'm not giving a legal interpretation. I'm giving as best as my memory parts of this that jibed with that. Oh my God! Oh, I know!

[00:41:50] After asking him to look at the document again, he pointed out a line which he said showed it was permitted for him to take all the money. He struggled again when he was asked what he knew about May 2022 about measures

[00:42:03] that had been put in place to stop Alameda from being liquidated, which effectively meant he could spend unlimited amount of FTX users money. He claimed, I don't recall being aware of the specifics at the time, but he claimed that he was aware of at least some speed bumps.

[00:42:19] Oh my God! I know! Anyway, you keep an eye on this little man. He's going to jail for a very, very, that's my bet. I'll mattress Mac anybody with different odds. I think it'll be for 30 years. Yeah, that's what I think. Could be longer. Holy shit!

[00:42:49] Have they found Noah's Ark? Well, this has been going on for a long time. For all of you termites who aren't up to speed on this one. You know, they say that it's in Turkey on Mount Erafat, I think is, they might say it differently.

[00:43:06] Most likely it is pronounced somehow a different way than what I am saying. So they've been trying to pig around and dig around and find out if, because there's a mound that is the shape of a boat. And it would have made biblical sense

[00:43:23] according to the things I've read. I did not know those from the Bible that this is where it would have been in the area. It's not like saying, oh, we found it in Omaha. That wouldn't make any sense. But if you're from Omaha, if you did.

[00:43:37] That would be a really great thing for Omaha. They've built another replica Ark in Kentucky. And I've never been, but my friend Ron in Hershberg, who is Jewish and from Kentucky, has a very funny line that he goes, yeah, so I went to visit the Ark in Kentucky

[00:43:56] and they were like a $37 and I was like, yeah, but is it less if you're going through ironically? Because I'm Jewish and I don't really believe in any of this. Oh, Ron, way to make friends and wins acquaintances. No, she didn't understand any of that,

[00:44:15] but he likes to do those things. Archaeologists believe they're one step closer to confirming the resting place of Noah's Ark. A team excavating a geological formation of Turkey has aged rock and soil samples they believe can contain ruins of the vessels

[00:44:30] which puts the site at the same time. The Bible puts the great flood 5,000 years ago. The project began only five. The project began in 2021 and it's ongoing, but the initial analysts determined samples to contain clay and marine samples and seafood. According to the researchers,

[00:44:51] this meant human activity was present on the boat-shaped mom between 5,500 and 3,000 BC. The Bible claims the Ark settled on the, oh, error rat, I was saying error fat. Error rat. Who am I thinking of? The Palestinian leader, error fat. Yasser, Yasser, error fat, yeah.

[00:45:10] The Bible claims the Ark settled on the mountains of error rat in Turkey following 150 day flood that drowned the earth and everything, the leveling thing on it was not, there was not, if it was not housed in the wooden ship. The geological formation located in whatever,

[00:45:27] I can't read any of that, has a potential site since it was discovered in 1956. If it was discovered in 56, can't we work a little faster? It's gonna take 100 years eventually. The mountains the highest peak in Turkey, standing 16,500 feet tall and curved out like an Ark would be.

[00:45:45] You can look at the pictures online, put them in notes. It looks like the hole of the boat, like it flipped over and that's where, or maybe Noah got mad and threw it over. The vessel was said to- You heard it here.

[00:46:01] A team of experts led by Istanbul Technology University. They've been working at the site for over a year. This is the first portion of their work began in December 2022 when they collected all the samples and now they've analyzed them all and they're saying, yeah, people were here.

[00:46:20] I mean, I believe, well, I shouldn't even say this on the podcast, but as a Catholic, I believe all the stories. Do I believe the specifics? Well, you can't tell me he got every species of every animal owner. That is impossible. What if you believe in magic?

[00:46:37] Well, I don't believe in magic. I hate magic. I don't ever want to, I hate magic. Like I would not pay to go see David Copperfield. It's all a trick. I've seen that shit backstage. Doesn't mean I hate the magician.

[00:46:52] I just don't like the art form if you call it that. I call it a skill. Trickery. Yeah. Just saying. I mean, I believe in no one. I believe there was an Ark, but did he get every species? Does it be impossible? No.

[00:47:13] Well, I'm glad he saved the cats and beagles. God was involved. God was involved. I know it's, it's like, I'll go with me halfway. I believe he was here. I believe there was a boat. I believe there was a flood. I just, well, he got some animals.

[00:47:28] He did what he could. He was only given 150 days. I mean, what is that? 90 days is three months. Shit. That's not a lot of time. And depending on where you live, how am I supposed to get it? God? This boat ain't big enough for all the animals.

[00:47:42] There's just a lot of technical difficulties in this argument. This story, a lot of them. Yeah. Well, me up. So there you go. I think it'd be wonderful if we prove it and then undig it up. Let's get digging. Come on, Turkey. Let's get digging.

[00:48:04] Turkey's thinking about getting involved in some other things. Sorry, I don't like this. Holy shit, they found it. This isn't really found it. It exposed it. This is creepy as shit. Ancient face carvings exposed as Amazon water level drops to record lows.

[00:48:22] There's faces caught in the rock bed of the river that you only see when the river is in drought level, but somebody carved all this and they're not happy looking faces. They look terrified. It almost looks like who's painting the, the famous, the scream.

[00:48:40] Yeah, it looks like the screen. Human faces sculpted into stone up to 2000 years ago have appeared on a rocky outcropping along the Amazon river since water levels dropped to record lows in the region for a strout more than a century. Some rock carvings have been cited before,

[00:48:54] but now there's greater variety with the help the researchers established their origins. Oh, there's one smiling. I take that back. He's the one that killed the other ones. Yeah, he's smiling because they're all dead and he's got their stuff. One area shows smooth grooves and rocks

[00:49:10] where the indigenous inhabitants once sharpen their arrows and spears long before Europeans arrived. It's just freaky. You gotta go look at the pictures and there's a lot of them. Yeah, the last time they were seen was 2010, but this year's drought has been more severe,

[00:49:24] exposing vast expanses of rock and sand where there had been no beaches. Wouldn't that be cool? It's like when the Mississippi gets super low and you can go down there and see all kinds of crazy stuff. United, we're moving on to news. United Airlines. Oh boy. Oh boy.

[00:49:40] Lewis, Lewis Black, who loves flying in. Hi there. Michael Summerbell. Michael Summerbell, come here and the beer monster. This pertains to you. Well, maybe not Lou because he probably flies in first class because he owned turtle, but Michael is not. Lose a rich turtle. Lose a rich turtle.

[00:50:03] I call old people turtles for the record in case anybody's ever missed this. And they're super turtles, that's over 80. Yeah, regular turtles. And... Buffy is a super turtle. Yeah. So United passengers predict brawls, threatened boycott as new boarding system takes effect. Yeah, I have Delta all the way,

[00:50:28] but also I don't live, if you're living New York, here's your choices. And I'm fortunate enough to be either Nashville or St. Louis and I don't need to go on United. It doesn't really come into my thing. It's either Delta or I go American or Southwest.

[00:50:45] Customers in one of the biggest airlines are expressing outrage after the implementation of a new boarding method known as Wilma. W-I-L-M-A in all caps. Starting Thursday, those flying economy on United around the country began boarding with the new system which sees passengers in the window seats

[00:51:06] enter the aircraft first regardless of row. All the windows on it. I'm a window lady, but most of the time I get upgraded anyway, so... But I'm a coach here and there, you never know. But I'm a window girl, so this works perfect for me

[00:51:23] because I got my wheelie bag. Boom, first on. Now I know a shit ton of comics that only want the aisle. I'm a sleeper, nine-night termites and my head is on the window and then I drool all over the plane and I'm done.

[00:51:37] I don't want the aisle and nobody wants the middle but those booked in the middle seats subsequently board the plane followed by those in the aisle seats. So aisle seat people are last and here's the thing, all those bins are gonna be full.

[00:51:53] United says this system helps easy congestion of the planes, aisles and ultimately speeds up the time it takes for all flyers to take their seats. I understand the idea behind it. Instead of the window in the middle are seated,

[00:52:07] no let's say the aisle in the middle are seated and I get on and I'm the window and now they both gotta get up. I understand what United is trying to do but you're just gonna piss off a third of the plane.

[00:52:20] A third, if you wanna change it go to Southwest. A, B, C, D, I don't know how far it goes on Southwest. Thank God I've never been in the very last group. Row S. Z. Row Q. It should be P for procrastinators.

[00:52:35] I know you bought this ticket late. The previous carrier previously used Wilma boarding method in 2017 saved an average of two minutes for boarding. You're gonna save only two minutes and listen to all these people yell that there's no space for their bags. Right, bored earlier.

[00:52:59] Some patrons are less than impressed that the airline has brought Wilma back with one saying they even expected huge brawls to break out due to limited luggage space in the overhead lockers. You're also going the wrong way airlines. You're encouraging people to bring their bag on

[00:53:12] because you're charging them for bags, for extra bags. Also getting your bags is usually a pain in the ass and very few airports are swift about it. Nashville, super fast. Usually. God, I won't go in names and dog people, but I mean some of these airports

[00:53:29] it could take 35 minutes to get your bags. None of it sounds pleasing to check the bag. Kennedy. Kennedy takes your order. Dallas, Fort Worth. Dallas took a hot minute. LAX takes a long time. Yeah. Yeah. Chicago. With this approach, window seat passengers have first dibs on overhead bins.

[00:53:50] They speculated that unless the gate personnel strictly enforces a two rule item, I predict some interesting dialogue and disruptions to occur during boarding. Because it also used to be like if you're doesn't United have economy plus? Well, if you paid extra for that,

[00:54:10] half the idea is to get on early. So you have a place for your bag. Is that? I think this is just general. And then the children got on TikTok. Well, not flying United. I'm an I'll girlie. And now I'm always gonna live on overhead space.

[00:54:30] And they will, they'll move on. They don't care. Other commenters claiming that boarding from the back of the airline would make more sense than the Wilman method. It would. Yeah. Although I still think Southwest is a fastest. Get on, pick a seat. It always boards fast.

[00:54:50] It is, I know. There's so much, so many co-exam jokes about the Southwest. Where you sit and all that. A lot of people are just saying they won't. Oh, it only pertains to passengers and economy. So I don't know about economy plus. Any United termites? United people?

[00:55:10] Yeah, they can tell us. Anybody loyal? Group one is first class, what business class? So I don't know what you think about that. I think if you're gonna change it, just go to Southwest's deal. But then you have to change your whole ticket buying system, everything. Yeah.

[00:55:27] All right, moving on. These are not on spirit. Oh my God, this made me laugh so hard. I can't even believe they did this. Sears reopened a department store in a California mall. Only for shoppers to slam depressing displays and empty shelves at an A-ling retail giant.

[00:55:48] What are we doing, Sears? I thought we were wrapping this up. The pictures are horrible. They're just gray, empty shelves. It looks like somewhere in Eastern Europe. God, it's been five years since a 130 year old shopping chain was saved from bankruptcy.

[00:56:04] Hundreds of its 700 stores have closed, leaving just 11. That's all they had. Four closed in May alone and it seemed like there was no way back for the giant. But this month there was a ray of hope as they reopened their 130,000 square foot branch

[00:56:20] in Burbank Town Center Mall, North of LA. In Burbank? What should have been a phoenix-like moment of glory was dampened by visitors branding the store depressing and bemoaning the old dated interiors. While it's known for selling a range

[00:56:37] of houseware items of furniture at the height of its glory, it was the largest retailer in the US before it was taken over by Walmart. Sears was? Yeah, we used to go all the time. Yeah, you could buy like a... Walmart bought Sears? No, they just overtook them.

[00:56:53] They drove them out of business. Yeah. But discounters like Walmart created challenges for Sears. You could buy like a chainsaw and a washing machine. It was just a wonderful place for a while. That's where my brothers had to get their school pants. The store faced even more competition

[00:57:08] from online sellers like Amazon. Yep. It closed its branch in the Burbank Town Center last year, leaving an anchor store-size hole to fill. But the signage was never removed, leaving local statistics back that may make a comeback. Then this week they took to social media

[00:57:25] to announce the grand reopening. The reception was less than enthusiastic. One person commented, was hoping they were gonna revamp the store a bit to new carpets and such, but looks like they're gonna half it as always. Who is coming here and why? It's another comment. Sorry.

[00:57:44] Only two floors of the three are being used by Sears. Well, the third is being used to store mannequins. Oh, how creepy would that be? You should make this a Halloween destination. Your shit's already ready. There are a lot of empty shelves

[00:58:03] with the most shelves lining the outer walls of the Sears' most barren outside a few specific places like bicycles and toys. What are we doing? Sears, we're wrapping this up. Pickle ball! Now I gotta do this story this week and next week because I'm not really sure

[00:58:30] if the guy's telling the truth now. Well, I said Bobby, the oldest known dog dies at age 31. Now apparently, and I didn't have time because it just came in yesterday's breaking news, there's a lot of people, like scientists people questioning it

[00:58:45] because that would make the dog 200 in human years. They're gonna do some DNA testing. I think maybe these people might be a little confused. He lived in the rural villages of Portugal. He died over the weekend. His family's home is about 93 miles north of Lisbon.

[00:59:01] He looks like an old mutt lab type thing. Very cute. The owner, the other purebred rafiero de Alégdianjo, a farm and watch dog breed known for its confidence and condominium per the American Kennel Club, lived at the home his entire life with his owner,

[00:59:22] Leonel Costa and family. According to them, the dog was born in 1992. I don't know, I'm gonna look into this because I don't wanna say the old world's oldest dog died if it's bullshit. Alleged. The oldest, the previous record holder was Bluey, an Australian cattle dog was born in 1910

[00:59:40] and lived to be 29 years and five months. Spike, a 23 year old Chihuahua from Ohio, he was previously named the oldest living dog just two weeks before Bobby took the crown. I don't know, I'm gonna have to get into that a little deeper

[00:59:57] because these are the kind of stories that matter for life to go on. How old's a Chihuahua? I think you're bullshitting me. Hold on. I don't know why I think this was newsworthy. I just think it's very strange. Travis Kelsey, the football player for the Kansas City,

[01:00:22] still won this date in Tay-Tay Kitchen, watch football. He releases a new Kansas City barbecue meals at Walmart. Yep, yeah. Kansas City's known for its delicious barbecue, yes it is. And now a popular chief's player is taking his own twist on it.

[01:00:39] He's making his way into the barbecue industry with a new assortment of refrigerated entrees. They're sold under Travis Kelsey's kitchen exclusively at Walmart. Well, I don't know. Here's the entrees. I buy them. Bacon, mac and cheese. Brisket burn ends with barbecue sauce.

[01:00:59] Oh no, are they frozen and then I buy them? They have to be, right? They have to be. I don't know about frozen barbecue and then reheated. Dudes don't care. Dudes don't care. Brisket burn ends with mac and cheese, sliced brisket and barbecue sauce,

[01:01:14] barbecue baked beans with sausage, sausage and meatball marinara with peppers and onions. Barbecue baked beans with burnt ends. I don't love the burnt ends, they're too fatty. But what good for you Travis? Yeah, look at that ass. Breaking news. You got a big for his new house.

[01:01:31] Breaking news. Augusta National, Augusta National Golf Club. People ask me for that joke all this time and I don't know where it is. I'll find it. It's never been released because I just, I don't know where it is. Why don't you? Well, I'm old and done with work.

[01:01:51] I can find all these things that people ask for. But I'm busy. I don't know where Augusta National Golf Club joke is. It's out there somewhere. Augusta has a new member and it's a woman. Really? Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the first tea, Annika Sorensdum. Yay!

[01:02:10] Good for her. I wonder how many times she'll be able to jet on over from Sweden. Maybe she lives here now, I don't know. That's strategic. Yeah, I saw her once in a Delta lounge. I was very excited. Flying Delta. Yeah, she was flying Delta.

[01:02:27] Delta lounges have a lot of cool, you gotta make sure you pay attention. There's a lot of people. I saw Cindy Lauper in the New York one once. That was very exciting, very exciting, exciting. I see my friend George Wallace. This is how funny he joined.

[01:02:40] So George Wallace, older, comedian, very, very funny. So one time in Atlanta, this wasn't that long ago. I see him and he's got a big breakfast and I walk over and I go, where are you going? I'm going home. It's a Sunday, I'm going home.

[01:02:58] He's like, he lives in some most of the time in Atlanta and he's like, well, I'm home. I'm like, and you stopped in for breakfast? Who the fuck does that? Don't you wanna go home? He's like, but this breakfast, I can't reproduce this in my own house.

[01:03:12] We don't notice. I just like to stop here and say hello to everyone. He's a glad Andrew, I love it. He's like the mayor of everywhere. Yeah, so. Want some eggs? This is crazy. A painting that has hung in a family's home for generations

[01:03:31] is a masterpiece worth millions. A family in Southern Spain had long admired a painting that hung in their living room for generations, but they didn't know it was an actual masterpiece worth millions painted by the revered Sir Anthony Van Dyke Dick, I don't know how you say it.

[01:03:46] One of the most important artists of the 17th century. They saw it as something a normal part of their daily lives. The presentation of the baby Jesus to St. Barbara is now in a safety deposit box of an insurance company. It's been authenticated by a Madrid art firm

[01:04:01] and been carefully restored. They're gonna auction it off. Can you imagine that's what you grew up with? And you probably, there were probably days, I wonder if this family was ever like, yeah, we don't have a lot of money this Christmas. Little do you know.

[01:04:12] They think it's gonna get 13 million and it's hanging in your family room your whole life. The canvas earlier this year, an oil sketch by Van Dyke's soul for 3.1 million at Sotheby's, the canvas and bed found on his shed in New York with the back covered in bird poop.

[01:04:27] What? Yep. Well. Yep. All right, we're gonna get to the last story, but I, because this is a really good one and then there's a happy story. Maybe I'll save my little happy one for last next week. Well, cause this is complicated. It's great though.

[01:04:47] It's salacious as Dominic Dunn would say. Delicious. Nice. Yeah. We didn't talk about UFC. Oh, you know I don't have the UFC article printed out but here's the thing. They made a deal with Bud Light to be their official beer, UFC people. UFC. UFC, yes. Wow. That's great.

[01:05:09] But now their fans are mad cause they're all mad at Bud Light. Now they went away and did this on their own. They didn't consult the fans. I think they missed a golden opportunity. I think they should have had the CEOs from all beers cage fight.

[01:05:23] And whoever wins gets the contract. Send your best representative. Maybe it's, I think it should have had to have been the CEOs but I don't know some of them might be old and not in shape or something. Maybe they could, you get a representative

[01:05:39] one person to fight in your place. If you don't feel like you can do the cage fight. I'm really surprised because I feel like UFC does a good job in marketing ideas. That's a hashtag fail. You should have, I would watch and I don't even watch UFC.

[01:05:55] If you told me the CEO of InBev is going up the CEO of Cors Light. Oh yeah. I'm in. What time? How much do I have to pay? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I also forgot there's a Monet going up Brazil but I'll tell you about it next week.

[01:06:16] So this is the story that busted out just Saturday I get Friday. It's shocking. Friday or Saturday. So there's this woman, Buffy St. Marie and for you children, the children. She's older of that generation. The folks singing in this 1960s,

[01:06:37] all the people that were doing all the folk singing in the cafes. Yeah. Neil Young, well he was younger than that group probably about 10 years but Peter Paul and Mary, you get the drift, right? What she said, she was an Indian, Native American from Canada

[01:06:59] that she was part of the We call First Nations. Canadians call First Nations called She's indigenous. Indigenous. And she built a career on this. I mean, she accepted awards for the indigenous group only. Like this award only goes the best indigenous album of the year.

[01:07:19] But she accepted awards. She went on shows talking about 1000%. She's a Canadian, Cree woman. She aligned with three different She did align with a few many. I don't understand why all of Canada had never red flagged any of this. And goes, wait, you don't want to be

[01:07:38] you can't be part of three tribes that don't even get along. But I think if you question it, it's a delicate subject. You and you were enamored. You fell for it because she was pretty and her songs are really good. I mean, if you're into that kind of

[01:07:55] folky thing, I went and researched them all. I get it. And she's cute. Lou said she was this most smoking hot and he couldn't believe that she's like this exotic Indian person like Lou would have followed her till the end of the goddamn earth. No question about it.

[01:08:11] Hero to the to the Mady people. She's a hero. Good luck with that American term. I you good luck with that. My Indian and French, indigenous and French. OK, so the fur traders, the French fur traders got with the locals and then created their own group.

[01:08:34] Yeah, I get it. That's the the pubcast Cliff Notes version. This is this is be so much easier. You don't if you don't have to go to school, come to the pubcast will teach you so quickly. The refer traders that got a little

[01:08:50] and then they got with the locals. And then there you go. So Buffy St. Marie, as it turns out, is really indigenous to Massachusetts. She is an Italian Caucasian from Massachusetts. She claimed that she was adopted by these white people in Massachusetts

[01:09:14] from an Indian tribe, but she said she was part of the 60s scoop. But she's born in 1941. The 60s scoop started in the 50s. You would have been at least 10 you would remember. Nobody ever called that one out either. The math doesn't work.

[01:09:28] But then I guess, you know, once the thing starts, it gets out of hand. So then her brother, who's now deceased, said, I'm going to expose you. And she said, fine, tell him I'm white. I'll tell you I'll tell them you're a pedophile. Mic drop.

[01:09:44] So the question is, Terrence, I've watched. Here's a problem. I watched a few Canadian Cree members members of the Cree tribe. So sad. And well, and they're heartbroken. They're idle. It'd be like Steven X. Me finding out she's not a witch. No, I'm kidding. That's what I mean.

[01:10:06] There's no comparative thing. There's nothing I can. I don't know. Maybe like if John Denver. Well, I know he's not from Denver and I know his name is Dusseldorf. And when I found that out, I'm like, Dusseldorf. What? This CBC News did it.

[01:10:24] There's a show called the Fifth Estate that one time I was watching and I said to Paddles, because she's Canadian. Hey, what's this awesome show? I've never seen. I found it on YouTube because I was looking up Barry and Honey Sherman,

[01:10:37] the murder of Barry and her and Paddles said, wow, me ma. And I'm like, what? She's like that shows for old people. I'm like, well, well, old people, old people and smart people. Well, it's it's like 60 minutes except better. It's better.

[01:10:54] So the question is, should she be exposed? It I think we should let the termites way in. Let the termites way in, but I watched all the tiktoks of the Canadian tribal members and they're all very sad right now. We got to give them a hot minute.

[01:11:09] Let them be sad for a while because their hero is bullshit and mad too. Well, you know what? OK, so there I saw this video of this group, an indigenous group somewhere from Western Canada and they lost the Juneau award, which is like our Grammy.

[01:11:27] Um, she also won a Grammy for co-writing that song up where we belong. Oh, an Oscar, right? Because it was in the movie. I never liked that song. I thought it was creepy. Yeah. Lift us up where we where the eagles fly on a mountain.

[01:11:50] I didn't like it. I like her other songs, Buffy's. But you know, you get a newspaper article and it's there's old news about the Indian girl performs at Cafe in New York. I think she probably said she bought more feathers. Yeah.

[01:12:04] And then she's got feathers in her head. She went all in. This is not a half-assed. Oh, yeah, I happen to be some part. Um, I don't know what do you do though? Do you I think like that's bullshit like this tribe?

[01:12:16] They're like this group of the they're like we lost to Buffy's. Hey, Marie, it could have changed our lives. A Juneau. She's made so much money. What do you do? I say you take you give it to them. It's the best we can do right now here.

[01:12:33] You want it, it doesn't fix it, but let the indigenous people weigh in first. It is their situation first and foremost. Well, it's also the people of Massachusetts they were lied to. Well, what could it have shown?

[01:12:47] That they had shown the bros of dead camels on the way to school. Who was this? The fact that her family, they did try her uncle wrote a letter to the Denver post saying this girl is a white girl from Massachusetts. She has no Indian blood in her.

[01:13:04] This is all bullshit. My family, this would have lasted for about a month with me. They had been calling every outlet. She's lying. She's from Missouri. It's very, very sad though, but it is like shocking.

[01:13:21] If Lou knew exactly who I meant, my cousin, Mary, she's like, I don't really think I know who that is now. I had sent Mary down the rabbit hole all night long. I said, wait for, wait for Pat her husband.

[01:13:32] I'm like, wait for Patty's going to want to see it too. Oh yeah. Because there's a whole fifth estate, but there's a whole documentary called carry it on that I watched years ago because it's on the page.

[01:13:42] I watched all of those and it's all about her and being, you know, part of the first nation in the Kree Indian tribe. And then this guy, Indian guy adopted her. They took her. She got the order of Canada. She got the order of Canada. I don't know.

[01:13:59] It's not my dog. It's not my, not my fight. It's partially my dog. Termite. It's partially your dog. No, I know my Canadian friends that I texted were all like, wow, did she stay? She was Canadian. I'm like, they're not even focused on this whole fake indigenous person.

[01:14:16] She's Italian. She's totally awards and all the money. It's awful. Yeah. But I mean, she takes the cake. There was that Rachel lady in the United States who said she was black and she's white. So you faked your race. This lady has faked her ethnicity and her citizenship.

[01:14:35] That is ballsy to just pick another country. Cause somebody's going to call you out on that eventually. Just a little thing like when I say to you, remember that episode of the Brady bunch and you go, we didn't get that show in Canada. What? What? Alien. Alien. Alien.

[01:14:55] We did get Dallas. I'm really glad Canada got Dallas. Good for you. Are they on the episode where he's been shot yet? Are you guys all still collectively waiting for that? You're so good. Very heckling. I don't know.

[01:15:11] So I'm just saying termites, if you want something crazy interesting, go watch, carry it on. That's the documentary. We'll put it in the show. I think I eventually just found it on YouTube or PBS documentaries, which you can get through Amazon. Where your special is.

[01:15:26] Where my special is. I'll take a big one. And then watch the fifth estate because that was the expose that aired Friday night and all of Canada cried. We're still upset. It's very upsetting. What if they found out Joni Mitchell wasn't Canadian? Like it's that bad. It's horrible.

[01:15:48] What if I found out John Denver was secretly from like Papa New Guinea? Yeah, and he's thinking about Colorado and Aspen and you're like, you liar. You don't even know anything about it. Yeah, but it is different. There's no equitable situation because this one is so crazy.

[01:16:11] Neil Diamond went to high school with some of my older Jewish friends. His name is not really Neil Diamond in case you were wondering, but he is from New York. He's real. Yeah, I've just never seen anything on this level where you

[01:16:28] have faked a whole nationality and an ethnicity. What if I find out Bruce Rinkseam was what? A Brit? Born in the USA. Well, as somebody who works in the show business, I would say this provides you an opportunity to go on the road for another

[01:16:48] 10 years and please sing in a British Jackson and then explain yourself. You had a whole song about being born in the USA, sir. Can we discuss that? Do you want to talk about that? You fraudulent dock worker. I'm just saying, if you want to see something mind blowing,

[01:17:09] it actually made me think she might just be mentally ill. Like to buy into this this far for 60 years and never get out of character. There are some videos though where her face looks extremely orange like Trumpy Orange and her hands look white.

[01:17:25] So I don't know if she was using the darkening makeup. I don't know. There will be an update. It's not going away. I know and then I watched one Indigenous person in Canada that was very upset and I watched it for her whole deal.

[01:17:40] It was like a long one. Yeah, now I have every Indigenous person in Canada on my TikToks explaining to me that we have to wait a minute and let the elders chime in. And I like that because that's the children saying we're not allowed.

[01:17:57] We have to wait for me, Ma, Kathleen to say what we're going to do. It's a Viking hole. It's a Viking hole except for the Indigenous tribes. I've just never seen anything, I've seen people say there are different race.

[01:18:12] I've seen people say there are different, citizenship is a lie but both? Next thing you know we're going to find out she's a man. All three. Yeah. Alright termites. Where am I going? St. Louis. It's all sold up. Are you excited? Yes, I'm excited about St. Louis.

[01:18:36] Mostly to get emails pizza. Denver, two shows on November 11th. The villages we added to Saturday show. Friday I believe is sold out. Saturday I think there's some left. November 30th, Eugene, Oregon, then Portland, Oregon on my mom's birthday. Well what? December 1st. December 12th.

[01:18:59] Then we go into 2024. Wichita, Tulsa, Santa Rosa, Wheatland, San Luis Obispo, Monterey, Birmingham, Alabama, and then Atlanta, Georgia and then it keeps going but I don't need to overwhelm the termites. It's all on the website. You can go look at that.

[01:19:16] Also on my Twitter feed I put up, I reposted a thing on my friend Dusty Slay. He's very funny. He put up a 50 minute special on YouTube and it's great. So if you're bored. If Buffy St. Marie doesn't interest you. Gonna do a holiday t-shirt.

[01:19:36] My little friend's already designing it and it's super fun. Long sleeve and it's gonna be light gray. Medium gray. And then it has the fun design all over it. Oh I forgot my quotes and that will leave. Random quote from Taylor.

[01:19:56] Anyone, anytime anyone tells me I can't do something I want to do it more. That's what she said in Teen Vogue. In j... 2009. She was four. Dolly random quote. To me when I talk about not being a natural beauty

[01:20:16] I'm not, trust me when I say in the mornings I gotta get up and paint on stuff. Those people wake up and they're just beautiful they were just born that well. Well that it, they were just born that way. Well that ain't me.

[01:20:26] I gotta work for everything I've got. That's her discussing her looks in an interview with Southern Living. Wow. Mm-hmm. Billionaire. Billionaire. Love it. She's gotta paint it on. As she always says it takes a lot of money to look this cheap. Where's she going to crack a braille?

[01:20:44] Crack a braille sounds really good right now. I'm hungry. Let's go for lunch. I don't like lunch at crack a braille. You don't like lunch here. I hate lunch, I hate going out to lunch with people go oh do you wanna have a lunch meeting? No. I don't.

[01:20:57] No, we either have a happy hour. I suck. Happy hour or breakfast. I'm gonna eat you for breakfast at crack a braille and then we can go about our day. At 11.30. Yeah, it's at 11.30 breakfast as normal people should. Alright ready? I like to have lunch.