Episode 150: Area 51’s Secret Airline, Disrespecting Elvis, & a Drug Lord Saves the Amazon

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. Termites! In this episode 150! Never would have thought this would go on this long. And going through various incarnations and

[00:00:36] it's really been fun and the interaction is super fun on the road. I get to see termites. Where did I see some termites this week? Oh shit, sorry I didn't turn off my phone properly. Sorry, hold on. Was it in Boise, Rene? Oh no,

[00:00:53] Bucky's at the gas station. That was the week before. It's all running together. I don't remember, it'll come to me but anyway. So episode 150 we're gonna do a little something special. Well I am. Paddle says after the show.

[00:01:08] I say during the show I wasn't gonna open champagne but I don't really like champagne as much as I like moonshine. Yeah, and it's our show so we get to decide. I'm picking the moonshine that's been in the fridge, the ego waffle.

[00:01:22] Cheers to termites. Oh my god, it's so good. It's like Baileys with a waffle. Like who would think you could do that? And then it'll have the buzz of a moonshine shot. Which is they sneak up on you, be careful moonshineers.

[00:01:37] If you've never had it, Bob and Clark. I said them one too. Go slowly. So many things, oh my god, so many things. Well let's just start with the road. I had to laugh because I got to Reno and they were out of rental cars because

[00:01:58] they were stuck in the mud at Burning Man. And then the poor kid working at National she was like, well and then when they do come back there's separate gross. So like the detailing is taking triple the time.

[00:02:17] I mean I was lucky I got out there and there's no other people but had there been like 10 other people in front of me I'd have had to wait, I don't even know. Probably I waited like 25 minutes

[00:02:26] for a car to come around and then you're just lucky to have any car because the Burning Man hashtag failures left their cars stuck in mud and they can't get them out. But also are you really doing Burning Man if you flew to Reno and rented an SUV

[00:02:44] and drove an hour 20 minutes? Nah, that doesn't seem. There will say on a good point about Burning Man there's a statue in downtown Reno at night that lights up that's from Burning Man. It was gifted to Reno and it is a whale

[00:02:59] and it's like a million colors. It's gorgeous. The artwork is worth it. We just get out of this apocalyptic thing and then there was like girl fighting and they just saw women beating their shit out of each other.

[00:03:11] The art is so great and then the rest of it you're like, yeah, it's like Lord of the Flies or what's the Hunger Games or there's some big article my friend Drew sent me who went to Burning Man with No Food and then I'm going to read about

[00:03:26] and it was all fine and dandy till she got weird and then all of a sudden nobody's handing out food. But why would you do that to begin with? She wanted to write an article I guess. I don't know. Reno,

[00:03:41] Boise is always great. There's an Egyptian theater downtown it's in Old Town. They're super cool buildings super fun bars. Boise is great. I went to the tallest bar in Boise. Me and my friend John aka some of you may know him

[00:03:56] his hippie man is the comic but his real name is John he uses that on Save Job, John. Yeah we, I don't know, we retired and I'm like let's just go over there and it said Ram's Sports Bar or something. I want to watch the tennis

[00:04:11] but it said the world's tallest bar but I don't, in Boise I don't think it is. Boise's tallest bar, right well tallest bar it just seems like there'd be ones that are taller. Yeah downtown in the old buildings I guess

[00:04:29] I don't know. I mean they're probably not lying it just seemed like a weird thing but that was the theme of this weekend seems like a weird thing Reno, I don't even want to discuss the travel what occurred I don't know I can run 8 minutes without stopping

[00:04:47] and I did it through the Salt Lake Airport and John the other comedian who was opening for me this weekend John is quite a bit older than me and only started going to a gym one year ago

[00:05:00] and I said John do you think he got it in you? And he's like yeah man I don't know we're gonna find out right? And he's like well we're gonna find out or we're not leaving, we're not gonna get out of this airport

[00:05:12] and we're gonna stay in Salt Lake until we're dead because this is the last flight to Reno and the other one sold out we made it, he ran like a, it was like chariot to fire but we had also had a beer well no two beers

[00:05:25] in Boise's airport and craft beers so I said to John not only did we do it at our age and after he smoked all the weed in the world I smoked all the cigs we did it and we did it post drinking most people go jogging

[00:05:43] and then drink why not? Then I had to go back because there was a luggage issue I went back to the airport at midnight came back to downtown Reno you've got to go once to experience it here's what's weird inside the casino beautiful there's restaurants that are great

[00:06:01] my friend Ken who ran the casino in Missouri for years he's in charge his wife Dana is really nice everything you could ever imagine and what's weird is City Hall is right there there couldn't have been a more perfect synopsis of downtown Reno

[00:06:18] there was a furry that I think was a bear but could have been a dog, it could have been a dog or a bear well it wasn't a great costume but it was very, it was all encompassing it was on a lime scooter

[00:06:34] at 12.30 at night just doing circles and no one looked at it there's all these people standing out there and I thought wow they think that's totally normal I don't know if it was a lime or a skateboard or who cares but the crowds were great

[00:06:52] everything was great and speaking of that this is a lot of stuff backstage I'm going to go through it quickly in case people don't like this part you can fast forward but I like to thank people because people put a lot of work into this stuff

[00:07:04] Chris sent me what I'm drinking and there's I guess out west there's a whole what you call it brewery of this yeah I never heard of it it's one of the top breweries in the United States it's won many awards and then the cans are awesome

[00:07:19] and he knows I like a cool can this is a snarf snarf and there's a shark on the front delicious thank you Chris what are we I'm going to eat some this guy I'm not sure if it's a girl or a guy Ken, Ken sent me

[00:07:33] Ken is a boy Ken's a guy it's barbecue sauce made in Boise he likes it on french fries let's see it's called MFT my family tradition sauce I thought it was going to say mother fuckin' something see I gotta clean up my mind after Boise yeah

[00:07:56] it's tough to get out there we go oh yeah oh I see whoops that came out super fast it's the barbecue sauce yeah I don't think a barbecue in the northwest do you I'm not insulting them I'm just saying people think of Texas Kansas City, St. Louis, Memphis

[00:08:14] huh? oh my god yeah I could see this on french fries yeah MFT no high fructose corn syrup usually I don't like things without it yeah now it's gluten free I could share it with my sister gluten stomach oh really good, thanks Ken I like it

[00:08:41] I don't know I don't ever go get barbecue like in Seattle I think fish not I'm going to go get a barbecue brisket you're in Seattle I'm staying in the northwest what do you call Idaho to me it's the northwest not really it's under Canada it's under Canada

[00:09:05] oh this person watch all the way back Pam and Jude all the way back when I read the story time gifts from eastern Idaho they brought all kinds of beer this spud thing I'm going to taste it but I'm going to warn you I'm not a coconut person

[00:09:19] see it says Idaho spud isn't that adorable and it looks it's a candy bar I don't know get it well I like the inside it's like a milky way then there's chocolate around it well then they put coconut on the outside wonder if there's one without the coconut

[00:09:41] they fucked up my milky way that's exactly what they did Idaho candy company the middle is great I would sit here and pick all that off if I was a child I always hated it when my brother was my brother's

[00:09:55] Joe's birthday because my mom would cook any kind of cake you wanted that was what you got for your birthday I mean you got a present too but he would always pick German chocolate cake and I'm like oh this is Pam and Jim

[00:10:12] so they brought these sash squatch chips this stuff all comes backstage you should see the look on the usher's faces when this stuff is rolling back they're like wow lady what some of them don't know about the podcast well you know half do half don't

[00:10:26] and they're like yeah has this happened all the time on the road I'm like yep I don't charge anybody for a podcast instead I get potato chips I'm beer these are really good they're like barbecue this is Tim's cascade style we are Pacific Northwest sauce squatch sauce with

[00:10:48] surprise potato chips and then there's a picture of Bigfoot I'm front I'm thinking within the next two years I'm just gonna pick Bigfoot out I think so we got too many trail cams out there now I'm gonna put these down here and everybody's looking

[00:11:06] I think it's gonna happen this is my new Bigfoot head cover for my driver that's cool nobody's gonna have that here no or in the Ozarks no that's from Hilary and Patrick they just started golfing and then they bought me this

[00:11:22] and let me tell you what these things are not cheap I'm not even aware that this cost good cash hard money good American money yeah I was gonna thank you guys for that for a get through oh my god this is the hat that

[00:11:34] oh who's wearing the hat Tanya's wearing the hat minor league team all these people came to Dallas last year Reba it looks like sometimes very good membership Reba I'm impressed minor league rough riders game yeah one game each year I'm gonna name to the Frisco corny dogs

[00:11:54] and this is the logo yeah I like it too minor league rough rider Texas I guess bears Haribu bears, gummy bears you have no idea how many times that really saves a flight when you're starving and let me tell you what goes good with Haribu bears

[00:12:12] a vodka cranberry all this everything aligns and then I take all the green bears and I put them aside and I smash them to death and give them to the flight attendant is trash and then I line up all the other bears on my tray table

[00:12:28] and then one by one I eat them but I eat them like an army that's going away and then I wait to see if the person in the seat next to me thinks there's anything wrong with me because they're sticky on the bottom kind of

[00:12:42] they're gummies so they'll stick to your tray table and then boom boom boom and then I look at the cranberry comes the war is on and I eat all the soldiers this is what happens when you don't read on planes people

[00:13:00] I would see somebody with a real book and I'm like really huh haven't done that in a while and I've been carrying around a book for a year and I haven't read one page of it I don't know what I'm reading but it's not books

[00:13:14] I mean I like books but I don't know too many connecting flights oh my god this lady well I'm not sure who this is oh Cheryl andy she said since a show at bimbos in San Francisco I did and you know why I remember that

[00:13:34] because it was a goddamn HBO Women of the Night special and they put us at a place called bimbos I'm like really and they're like so famous in San Francisco perhaps but now the rest of the country is going to see this on HBO

[00:13:52] it was me and Sandra Bernhardt and Margaret Cho and whomever I don't even remember and then they're like yeah and it opens up and it just says bimbos and then it's us I was so young I couldn't argue it

[00:14:04] but what am I going to do I'm not going to get a venue change but really couldn't somebody have spoken up and said hey we're trying to move women's comedy a little bit further along why not just

[00:14:16] whores why don't you just throw us in a place called whores whores free free whores um oh this lady made me some Viking jewelry that's very cool unfortunately I lived at Dunstress and then she got me a picture of this professor guy that

[00:14:32] he's really into bigfoot and a Sasquatch field guide so I know now how to I know how to make a cast if I find a footprint all that stuff with me probably not probably just have bear spray uh Oregon beer this is from Deb the Oregon fog

[00:14:50] I really like the name of that cause yeah cause on the coast there's all kinds of um likes the pubcast um yeah so we're back and there we go cute card we're almost done and we're moving on um oh yeah more beer from Jesse

[00:15:10] um lives in Utah but it's Utah beer and just when you think Utah doesn't have good beer because you think it's all Mormons not true not true what's the bar in the Salt Lake airport I like seven founders they have a beer called Seven Wives um

[00:15:28] this lady brought me uh Jamie and Becky brought me a ton of stickers which is great because I have brand new and a new notebook I'm ready for that what's it called Seven Wives no do Utah it's really delicious Seven Polygamy Porter

[00:15:50] but it wasn't the porter I drank I don't drink porters it was something else this person made me Christmas ornaments for all my specials there's a big foot Jesus it's fantastic I know and some of it I couldn't even get

[00:16:04] home I had to uh they're gonna send it though that was from uh two termites Ted and Todd yeah they're really adorable and then I'll laugh my ass off because I get ornaments in every city I go to so then when I hang out my Christmas tree

[00:16:18] I can review the year that's nice yeah I don't really have any um crafty traditions or anything not crafty to speak of but that one makes me happy this guy left me um you get these medals like I got a bunch of these in Iraq and Afghanistan

[00:16:34] and uh in this lady brought one which is very sweet because I don't know how many they get to give away but this is a Federal Reserve police yeah it's always good to know any kind of um it looks like Amanda I think yeah Amanda

[00:16:50] oh and her wife Dawn Dawn? yeah Dawn um yeah her wife surprised her with the tickets that's nice um and if I ever go to Montana they'll take me fishing which I would like to do these are things I want to do

[00:17:04] in retirement though I don't want to do them while I'm working because it's too crazy and then the last thing and then we're moving on wait till I tell you about the Wisconsin bar I'm so excited about this story uh Sarah Allen um

[00:17:16] made this this is being shipped home it's a it's a wreath with a hummingbird in it it it I don't know how long it took it looks like it took forever it's beautiful I'll show it when it gets here um and then

[00:17:28] this lady painted a card with a awesome wallet I know Lily and Tammy it looks like um it's a happy birthday card because my birthday is coming up that's right September 30th okay say anybody cares what do I want for my birthday um

[00:17:44] I just want to be able to go out my fishing boat I don't have time yeah I come home I have two guys at home baby cats screaming at me I'm so angry so then I let her stay in Sunday Monday Tuesday and then I get no sleep

[00:18:00] because she's up at 2 a.m. running up the curtains whatever whatever enough complaining um yeah I don't know September 30th is my birthday and who else is Johnny Mathis Truman Capote that's really all oh Angie Dickinson yeah have you ever looked

[00:18:18] up who's famous on my birthday I don't have a good list September 30th was not a hot day I don't know me I'll look it up yeah alright alright moving on let's start the show update no Queen News I forgot share everybody hold your horses

[00:18:36] is having making a Christmas album and the cover is the best artwork I've ever seen she's in a field of ice in a silver dress and then it just says share that's how I picture her all the time in red yeah um so you know I'll

[00:18:56] bring my gifts for I can't wait I don't know when the pre-order starts but everybody else has been very quiet yep even Tay Tay she's getting ready to go to Europe update they have named the giraffe the all brown one with no puzzle pieces

[00:19:14] on it and they've named it in Swahili this means unique they've named it kipa key yeah cute kipa key yep so there you go um well wait a second too I didn't print this article out because I don't need to print the article out

[00:19:34] but this is an update so I told you guys last week about the Wisconsin bar that said if you come down here and watch the jets anytime the jets are playing um they don't have to be playing Green Bay they can be playing anyone

[00:19:52] and if Aaron Rodgers starts the game and the jets lose your bar tab is free so on uh the game money and football I keep thinking of it Sunday or Monday against the bills Aaron if you didn't see it

[00:20:08] and I keep this sport short because I know a lot of people don't give a shit um he did start the game and he played for about three minutes four plays snap Achilles tendon torn now if you're sitting in that bar in Wisconsin you go he did start

[00:20:24] so that counts and you just assume you're gonna win that the bills will win now because the bills are supposed to be good and they got Josh Allen and all this stuff well they were winning and then overtime came and the jets won so those people drank

[00:20:40] all the way up to overtime thinking it's all free boom I hope everyone drank within their economic limits because that would be crazy if you were a bunch of 20 somethings and you're like shots let's do shots shots shots shots shots

[00:21:00] and then you're going in the end of the night your bar tab is 250 bucks and there's kids in there with like 28 bucks man I thought it was free I thought it was all gonna be free no so they say they're still gonna do

[00:21:12] the promotion at the bar I don't understand why though because if Aaron Rodgers isn't playing he picked them just because he picked them because I'm like isn't the idea to beat Aaron wasn't that because you're mad that he left

[00:21:24] and I would have been glad if he left in Green Bay I think he's a whining little narcissist and every year he keeps Green Bay on the hook well I don't know I'm gonna go into the darkness then I'll decide when I come out of the darkness

[00:21:38] and I don't know I got some hateful text and like dude are you playing or you're not and you're getting old he's 39 I just said see ya wouldn't want to be come on Jordan the next guy who I said would be good and he was great

[00:21:52] on Sunday I don't know if that'll hold up don't hold me to that who's on your fantasy quarterbacks does it have Aaron? well I have Aaron on a couple fantasy things because he was all that was left because I got a shitty pick

[00:22:04] I had Jalen Hertz and then it's usually Aaron so I'm gonna have to dump his ass and then I'm gonna have to take somebody I've never even heard of nope yeah well the Wisconsin bar is still gonna keep the thing going they're betting against Aaron's mistress

[00:22:18] they're betting against his mistress yeah but yeah it's great and here's the thing now Aaron I think you just bought a nine million dollar home in New Jersey great you can sit in the winter when it's cold it's snowing in icy and you won't be on TV

[00:22:38] and you won't be playing sports and you'll be all that snap karma yep I'm with Tay-Tay on that one update we have a trader update oh it hits close to home the zip tie guy and his mama from Nashville yeah remember he was running around in the senate

[00:22:58] and he had a whole handful like he was gonna zip tie all of the senate and everybody he could find within the building and he was in prison for his role in the deadly riots at the Capitol Eric Munchol 32 was found guilty of five felonies

[00:23:14] and three misdemeanors earlier this year alongside his mom Lisa Einhardt 59 who was also sentenced to two and a half years in prison that's not fun at 59 I mean it's never fun but you really the older you get the harder it will be

[00:23:30] they were both seen inside the Capitol prosecutors shared photographs photos and documents this week filing showing the mom and the son at the Capitol he was photographed carrying flexible handcuffs plastic handcuffs that's the zip tie thing in the senate chamber why armed with a stun gun

[00:23:46] oh I didn't know he had a stun gun the amount of zip ties he had I was like well don't you think you're Rambo you think you're gonna capture like 80 probably 80 people yeah the whole yeah it's not that hard to get them they're all in the 80

[00:24:04] they're in a gaggle like a bunch of geese and just round them up oh you chase Mitch McConnell in one in a foot race oh my god prosecutors initially requested Munch will be sentenced to four years in prison and nine months in prison

[00:24:20] along with three years of supervisory release they said his mother should have been sentenced to three years and ten months incarceration with three years of supervisory release mm-hmm well now you're listed as Helen this was a planned activity everybody in national knows

[00:24:36] what is involved traveling from national to DC so you don't do that casually and it was planned and coordinated coming from superior forces of various kinds and instructing them what to do and what they did and this is also important has tried to intervene in one of those

[00:24:52] ceremonial events of democracy yeah well she is from Woodstock Georgia which is a suburb of Atlanta so she I think they went together which means she drove here to go there unless he picked her up you'd have to go south for that though they don't seem very right

[00:25:12] maybe that's it zip tie guy have fun zip tie guy update update update update update I'm pretty fascinated with the BTK serial killer okay because the Midwest we don't get a lot of attention so sometimes any attention is better than no attention

[00:25:35] and as far as serial killers go the Midwest chimes in with some top ten yeah some doozers some top tens Jeffrey Dahmer John Wayne Gacy Ellen Wach yeah well anyway it's a cold winter there it's a cold winter it's crazy and the next thing you know

[00:25:59] I've murdered my neighbor and I liked it and I might murder another no one finds out so Dennis Radar the BTK killer they searched his home recently as we have talked about on this public cast and they went they found this cubby hole

[00:26:19] where he had all these drawings and bizarrely enough he's a pretty good artist I gotta say I think I can draw but I couldn't draw these are quite good but they found all these photographs of women like in barns on but they're tied up

[00:26:37] they're horrifying pictures but they're like sitting on bales of hay so they're in a barn or near a silo so then they think that he he says he didn't kill any more people than everybody knows about but they're like yeah

[00:26:49] I think you might have well then they found all this shit very recently well one of the women depicted in the drawings done by self-proclaimed BTK serial killer Dennis Radar has possibly been identified so they're gonna go back to these drawings and find out all these missing women

[00:27:05] and try to match them up Osage County Sheriff Eddie Verden would not disclose further details of the possible idea of the woman who was depicted as wearing and he's got like she has a green dress on and pigtails I know it's awful

[00:27:23] but it's really glad that at least these people maybe if they can find out that's what happened to their kid they won't spend the rest of their life wondering although I don't know maybe I don't know that it would happen

[00:27:33] have to happen to you to have any idea what would be better or not his daughter is highly involved which I really give her credit for because you'd be really easy to go fuck this I'm moving away I'm having nothing to do with it

[00:27:49] I don't want any I want to live my life but she's she's been quite helpful they think that this barn that he keeps drawing was closely it was positioned next to a silo which was likely a favorite haunt of Radars he often sketched he honed his skills

[00:28:09] in college at drafting class my father did a lot of drafting at our house he drew plans for the garden that's what the carry the daughter said my dad needed to be always outside and to be in the air

[00:28:21] winter was hard for him so we had to find things for him to do because when he got inside and cooped up he would get angry yeah my father absolutely loves barns and silos every time we drove around going camping fishing to college he'd absolutely say

[00:28:35] this one like he'd say I want to retire here and then he would tease my mom about it and then after he was arrested we found out later that he had massive fantasies about those specific locations so now we're driving around trying to find those by memory

[00:28:47] and noting them because we need to go see is there anybody missing or buried there yeah so they're going to go through them all but they uncovered what he had called a hidey hole it contained new evidence not previously discovered by law enforcement

[00:29:05] on the lot that was once his family home bondage materials were also above so well they may have identified one it's a start you know good for them good for them putting the money into it because a lot of people would say look

[00:29:17] I don't know what these drawings are he could have just made that shit up it may not even be real you know okay moving on holy shit this is crazy while doing renovations on his property a Portuguese man stumbled upon a fossilized sarapod the biggest found ever

[00:29:38] in Europe it's a dinosaur he found a whole one intact in his backyard it all started in 2017 yeah and it's 82 feet long it's one of the biggest specimens ever discovered in Europe perhaps in the world it's not unusual to find all the ribs let alone at this position

[00:30:00] but the fact that they found the whole thing it's completely unheard of and then there's pictures of people sitting by it and they look like tiny tiny tiny flies it's so big yeah so good for you Portuguese man also we found this is really cool

[00:30:20] a ship that sank over 140 years ago found in nearly pristine condition with the crew's possessions a ship that sunk in Lake Michigan 142 years ago was found nearly fully intact by Wisconsin historians the schooner Trinidad was discovered 270 feet deep in Lake Michigan off the coast of Algoma, Algama

[00:30:42] I don't know how to say it, Wisconsin by historians Brendan and Bob their last names are too hard to say the wreck is amongst the the best Brendan and Bob found it so what? Buy him a beer best preserved shipwrecks in the Wisconsin waters

[00:30:58] with her deck house still intact containing the crew's possession and her anchors and deck gear still present it sank in late 1881 these guys found it in July using survivor accounts and historical records then side scanner sonar to hone in on the vessel's locations location

[00:31:18] during the passage of time the vessel was nearly despite the passage of time the vessel was in nearly pristine condition the ship's wheel was found on the sea floor without a piece missing the main portion of the boat was intact with the poles detached wow

[00:31:34] yeah I don't know the schooner similar to a sailboat with extra sails was primarily used in the grain trade between Milwaukee, Chicago and Oswego where where my friends Mary and Tommy live yeah and then on its final voyage it sank so how crazy is that

[00:31:52] yeah let's go get it up alright this this guy I don't even know I'm gonna start a section called what the fuck because there's stuff where you you read the thing and go really? did this really happen yeah the coast guard arrests a man

[00:32:16] trying hold on the coast guard remember trying to run a giant hamster wheel across the Atlantic the picture of this thing we'll put it in the show notes the schnotes also notice this his name is Riza Baluchi they've called it a hydro pod if you picture

[00:32:42] a hamster wheel but then if the hamster wheel on the outside of it had flotation orange devices sort of like bumpers or what are they what are you tying your boat up to no no no out in the ocean in the bay a mooring ball

[00:33:02] it looks like plastic mooring balls in a circle on each wheel and then he's inside of it both wait wait do you hear how far he got try as he might Riza can't reach his destination without running a fall of the coast guard

[00:33:18] the key problem is his vessel a giant floating hamster wheel made of made of uh buoys and wires self-propelled by him running inside ridiculous he lives in florida he's been granted asylum from Iran I'm sure Iran went you can have hamster man do you want

[00:33:41] him sure no problem here he is here's his wheel here's his hamster food and here's his little hay saw dust put that at the bottom of his cage at night um he was taken in by the coast guard last week aboard his vessel following several days

[00:33:59] of back and forth with the authorities according to a criminal complaint the coast guard gutter valiant came across Riza and his homemade vessel about 70 nautical miles east of thibia island Georgia oh my god he made it 70 miles well what happens when you stop running you got to sleep

[00:34:21] you're just gonna float to who knows where oh my gosh the coast guard found him as they were preparing for the hurricane type e island is already off Georgia it's already far he told officers his destination was London more than 4,000 miles away but they Riza was asked

[00:34:51] for the vehicle's registration what kind of coast guard is going can I see registration there's no registration for this look it's a hamster wheel totally he did he said it was registered in Florida but he couldn't find the reservation at the moment

[00:35:09] the coast guard assessed that his vessel known as a hydropod and determined that he was conducting a manifestly unsafe voyage it does not identify his starting point but it had to be land or did someone drive him in a boat and let him roll off the boat

[00:35:27] the officers that approached him in a small boat and instructed him to join them they were ending his voyage due to it being unsafe he replied that he had a 12 inch knife and would attempt to kill himself if the officers attempted to remove him from his hamster wheel

[00:35:43] the officers returned to the cutter and stayed nearby when the officers tried again over the next day or two to get him to join him on a small boat he brought out two knives and he threatened to hurt himself up along with the vessels

[00:35:57] the officers saw him holding wires in his hands and believed him this the following day a second coast guard named Campbell arrived and sent a small boat to deliver him food and water and word that a hurricane was coming he again refused to leave the vessel

[00:36:15] and told the officers the bomb wasn't real well a third vessel was sent a smaller boat and they got him out that he agreed to go he was brought ashore while his case is underway he's barred from travel outside of the southern

[00:36:32] district of Florida and he may not go he may not go to the ocean or board a vessel on the ocean this is not his first try he tried it with similar homemade vessels in 2014, 16 and 21 all which resulted in the US coast guard intervention

[00:36:48] he's a man of big dreams not after long after arriving in the US he was profiled in the New York Times and began a quest to run across the country forest gump style he repeatedly finished the coast to coast journey not once but twice he did it

[00:37:04] this kind of guy is good crazy if somebody can help him I mean if he ran across the country twice in a forest gump thing like actually if he did it to raise money or something people would donate let's put this guy to work

[00:37:18] I don't think he should be in his hamster wheel going to London I'm not going to support that he's a man of great dreams this guy makes me have to drink moonshine he said he has a video where he explains his motivation in using unusual means of travel

[00:37:38] if you drive by a boat nobody cares okay the coast guard guy said it was the most bizarre case I've ever been involved with he redesigned his hamster wheel in 2021 when it came on to her he has not made it to New York

[00:38:00] I kind of hope he tries again but he don't want to see the guy die he's going to die, I mean he can't keep and he didn't even know a hurricane was coming he's too busy running in his hamster wheel speaking to hurricanes Hey Ohio Tennessee

[00:38:18] other states in the middle are you seeing flamingos they're out of range they're showing up in Tennessee and unusual parts of the country after being displaced by hurricane Tennessee wildlife resources agency confirmed it's not uncommon to find birds that have been blown off course

[00:38:36] or out of their typical range they've been seen here's where you can see them keep an eye out Virginia Ohio South Carolina Texas, Kentucky and Pennsylvania in addition to Tennessee although non-migratory the American flamingo is a strong flyer incapable of vast flying distances they're mostly found in Cuba

[00:39:02] well there's a shit ton in Florida there's like a million at Gatorland in Orlando and I can't believe the Gators don't eat them they land right next to them they're rarely aggressive towards humans but they shouldn't be approached they're naturally afraid of people

[00:39:18] and may attack if they feel threatened so you know just get your phone out take a nice picture because you shouldn't go get them Wisconsin guess what you're getting now one place I haven't been in America and I've always wanted to go my cousin Mary and her husband

[00:39:40] used to take their boys up there all the time is the Wisconsin Dells have you ever been Dax he goes there a lot of Chicago people my Chicago pals well anyway I've never been but I'd like to go where should I go Wisconsinites

[00:39:56] where in the Dells should I go I'll go next summer they're gonna start construction in May $20 million travel center 40 miles from the Wisconsin Dells a hotspot known for tours for amusement and water parks well I don't want a water park please no water parks no I've aged out

[00:40:14] you're good on that I'm good I just want a nice little on the lake type thing I'm good I'm good there is still they're still in the final approval but they'll get it so there you go Wisconsin great let me see if I can find the other

[00:40:36] their gas stations are still pretty good though I mean they're not bucky their gas stations are good because they're loaded with cheese the Wisconsin gas stations you're like this doesn't look right in a gas station there's freezers full of it it's amazing this one's for the Catholics

[00:40:56] it's very very rare we send things on tour in the religion of Catholicism but we are guess what we're sending out on tour Catholics most of the I looked up most of the locations are in the Midwest Chicago's getting it a lot a lot of churches the arm

[00:41:18] belonging to the cousin of Jesus aka St. Jude will be on tour in the United States his arm his arm is going on tour like I have to battle enough for stages and selling tickets and now I got to compete against an arm

[00:41:38] it'll be the first time the relic which the church says is the arm of St. Jude Thaddeus I didn't know St. Jude had another name St. Jude is a saying of lost souls I never heard Thaddeus it's left Italy it's on its way

[00:41:58] registered as a patriot says the lost causes in desperate situations a visit provides an opportunity for individuals to experience intimacy with someone who dwells in heaven and beholds God face to face father Carlos Martin director of treasures of the church said it allows people to receive his blessing

[00:42:18] and to trust him with their petitions how are you going to get an arm through TSA I think you're going to have to fly privately I think you're going to have to or you've got to take a boat and a bus and an Uber

[00:42:34] no Uber driver is saying can I see what's in your thing I think you have an arm Jude was one of Christ's apostles he was believed to have murdered in Beirut several decades after Christ's crucifixion his body was transferred to a tomb in St. Peter's Basilica

[00:42:50] in Rome several centuries after he was martyred according to St. Peter Jude's arm was placed in a wooden box shaped like a priest hand giving a blessing how did his arm fall off I tried to google this too I do my homework for this Joe

[00:43:08] and I'm like why do we only have an arm I'll email the pope um alright this is I don't know why this makes me laugh Tom Brady Tommy how great would it be if he became a jet what the jets need a quarterback now why not Tommy

[00:43:35] so what he's perfectly healthy get up come on Tom you want him on your bed but I see people were posting memes of him and he looks good in green too I mean he's so handsome he looks good in everything Tom Brady joins Delta Airlines as strategic advisor

[00:43:53] and first of its kind multi-year partnership listen listen Delta I have over 2 million miles 2 million I know a shit ton more about your airline I was on it all this week I'm gonna say I'm 180 no I'm not giving Tom my miles I'm not giving him my millionaire

[00:44:13] no I'm gonna use him in retirement um but I should be your strategic advisor but Tom's way cuter and here's what I think all they would have to do Tom doesn't even need to do what does Tom know about fucking Delta

[00:44:31] when was the last time Tom was on Delta stop it yeah come on he's either on a team plane or on a team plane going off of the Delta lounge going off of vodka cranberry and um are they gonna bring the eggs out or is that over

[00:44:49] um did we are we moving into lunch cause my flight leaves in 20 minutes and I'm starving I do think though if you just put pictures of Tom right at the bottom of the um so when you're getting on the plane and just put his picture

[00:45:08] on the sides with him winking You're a winner. Oh, and we just make... Well, it made me happy. I don't know about other people. He's just the spirit of greatness. You just know even if you're not a patriot fan, get over it. He was great.

[00:45:25] It's like, but he always seems fun and he's smiling unlike some other quote, you know, goats that don't seem so fun. Now, I'm not gonna say who. I think we know. I just don't understand they're gonna have him.

[00:45:43] He's gonna advise on strategic training and teamwork tools for more than 90,000 employees. Well if he's gonna go give their speeches like the corporate gigs, like I do corporate gigs at night because you need Jokey the Clown at night. The serious people are the daytime speakers.

[00:45:59] I like to sneak down there and see who's speaking. But quite frankly, it's usually boring as all get out. But the people have to sit there. He's gonna work positively to impact communities where employees live and work.

[00:46:12] I don't believe Tom will be doing hardly any of these things. But good for him. They're gonna partnership to integrate his spirit of winning and passion, inspiring people. You know what'd be more fun?

[00:46:26] Honestly, have him at a Delta hub down any terminal thing by the gates and have him throw footballs to people. Love it. People would love it. We don't miss our flight.

[00:46:41] No, you'd have to say you have to arrive an hour early at your gate if you'd like to pass a ball with Tom. There's so many more fun things. They're making him do corporate things. Don't do that. No. They're making him.

[00:46:56] Yeah, well this is what they say they're gonna do with him. Good for you, Tom. You're getting another job because God knows you need it. You'll be a jet boat. God. Oh, he'll be at their corporate shindigs.

[00:47:10] I did one for them a very, very long time ago where they were super fun, I will say. All of the Delta people. Which is why you still work there. This is why I fly Delta every week I can. Some weeks I can't.

[00:47:22] Some weeks I have to cheat on them and fly Southwest. And then maybe this week I have to cheat on them and fly American. It is set times. What are you gonna do? Set. We're gonna talk about the children for a minute.

[00:47:38] Actually it's not even really the ch- well, yeah, it's the children. Sorry to report. This does not apply to all children. There's been some very bad behavior going on lately. Protesters glued their feet to the floor at the US Open. Which I was watching!

[00:47:54] I thought it was a heart attack. The Cocoa Goff and Carolina Muchova was interrupted by climate protesters early in the second set. One of the protesters gluing their feet to the floor of the stands at Arthur Ashe Stadium. She was getting ready to stir.

[00:48:08] Took 40 minutes to get these freaks out. Look, I don't disagree that the climate is bonkers. I'm not science person. I don't know what exactly is happening. But when we have Hurricane Fives in Omaha, shit's gone weird. And I know that.

[00:48:24] And I understand they want to make a point. But that is bullshit. There are two people out there playing for something they've worked their whole fucking life for. And you're going to be that jackass. And you're going to cause it. And you know what?

[00:48:36] Cocoa, I don't know what the other lady said. She was really nice about it. I'm sorry, a 40 minute break when we're doing something physical and then I got to go sit in the locker room and do what?

[00:48:46] Because you guys, nobody's, you don't win friends and acquaintances as we know from the book a long time ago by doing shit that upsets the majority. This is not the way to go about it. It's the same with gluing themselves to art.

[00:49:02] And this is really bad because at least art, whoever did it's most likely dead. These two women are alive and they're playing their ass off. They've worked a whole lives for this moment. And you know, they have shirts on that say and fossil fuels.

[00:49:15] Do you think that's going to happen because you glued your feet? With glue that has petroleum in it? Right. Then people started, I guess they were heckling and shit. Then people were streaming, get them out. I can we check people for glue?

[00:49:31] I mean, I can't even go into Tay Tay. You have to have a clear bag and I mean, I guess you could hide glue and lipstick or something. Or just say nothing coming in anymore to a concert. Just your ID and some form of payment credit card, something.

[00:49:53] Everything else has to be left. I can't do that. Things that have to go with you in a concert? Why, you're not performing. No. Your earrings should already be in your ears. You should be ready. Lipstick. Here's another one.

[00:50:16] If I was the Italians, I would have thrown this person in jail for a while. I mean a couple months, not like major while. An imbecile tourist damaged the famous fountain of Neptune in Florence this weekend.

[00:50:33] When he climbed to the top of it to take a selfie and broke off a piece of marble from the 16th century site. No, security footage caught the 22 year old German trying to scale the iconic monuments,

[00:50:46] chariot to pose for a picture and breaking the piece of the marble. There's no justification for against vandalism of cultural heritage, the mayor said. He also damaged the horse's hoof on his way back down. He caused about $5,400 in damage to the fountain and faces a hefty fine.

[00:51:04] A fine's not enough. Get off the historical things. It would never occur to me. Even drunk. Selfies have gotten out of control. It's the selfie. Yeah, it's the selfies driving all this. The fountain of Neptune which was restored in 2018 has been standing in the Piazza

[00:51:24] del Signoria since 1574 and you're going to climb it. That's ridiculous. And then it talks about the other. The graffiti attack at the Coliseum. Those idiots put their name on it. Yeah, like Ivan loves somebody. We have cameras. I would make it because this stuff is historical.

[00:51:55] I would make it like, I don't know, $25,000 fine. It would be crazy so that they would think twice and there'd be signs all around there saying that in multiple languages. Here's the third one. I know, now I sound like an old person complaining about it.

[00:52:16] But this has just gotten ridiculous. Shocking moment, a tourist jumps into Elvis Presley's swimming pool at Graceland before being kicked out. His wife hits back at horrified fans. That's what the pool is meant for. You know what lady?

[00:52:34] It is meant for diving into it if your Elvis' family or Elvis, well he's dead but it's not your pool to jump in. He might not be dead. He could be that preacher in Tennessee, people post videos on TikTok of Bob Jones or something like his name.

[00:52:51] But here's the thing that doesn't match up about that guy. He does look like he could be him and he sounds exactly like him but he's not old enough. Elvis would be like 81 if he lived. Yes, I do know. Yes I know. Google it.

[00:53:07] How old would Elvis be if he was alive? This dude in this video is not 81. Maybe 71. I think, I don't know why I keep thinking 81. This is the most Google thing. The most Google thing? 88. Okay. I'm not that guy. Definitely is an 88.

[00:53:30] This is the shocking moment of British tourists jumped into the pool at Elvis Presley. So I've been there a million times at Graceland and it's not expensive to go. It's a really fun afternoon. And I have a friend, my friend. Yeah. Yeah, Dee Dee.

[00:53:43] Yeah, Dee Dee is great but she guides some of the tours and stuff and she has the keys. Yeah, I don't say her last name but I go oh my god she stuck the key in the door. I'm like those are real fucking keys to Elvis's house.

[00:53:59] She's like well somebody's got to open up and I'm like well that is true. I never thought about that. Somebody's going home and then if it was me in my job every night I'd just go home and go fuck did I lock Graceland? Shit, shit, shit, shit.

[00:54:12] I don't think I locked it. No I was gonna lock it and then I saw the cat and then I got distracted and whatever. So when you go through Graceland, you know you go through the house first and then you

[00:54:26] go in the backyard and around the pool is the graves of Elvis, his mom and dad which by the way then Louis noticed the Jewish star on his mom's. And Louis became all of a sudden. Lou who would have called Elvis a total redneck.

[00:54:44] Now he has the golden past because he's partially Jewish. Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. I did not know that until I saw that on the thing. Anyway the pool is surrounded by what should be reverence like it's people's graves.

[00:55:01] Lisa Marie is there now, her son. It's like an eternal flame type garden of resting piece and the pool is right there. It's a old, old type pool. It's got an old, timey diving board. I have thought going through there, I wonder if anybody's jumped in.

[00:55:19] I have thought about that. Because you could because you just have to walk over something I could walk over. Even a short person could. It's probably two foot high like no big deal because nobody has ever been an asshole. No one's ever done it.

[00:55:36] Not that I googled it, I can't find it. Video revealed how Tommy Purcell stepped over a low gate with a sign reading restricted area do not enter, strode over to the pool, already shirtless.

[00:55:48] He then placed one foot shakily on the diving board, prompting a female security guard to run towards him before she could reach him. He leapt into the pool with his shorts and sneakers on. He had no shirt. You can see her running in the background.

[00:55:59] Try it, it's way too late and she's probably my age going fuck! What do I saw that do? The holiday maker, he's a British kid, was slammed by furious online critics over disrespectful behavior, prompting his wife to hit back, alleging the late singer wouldn't

[00:56:19] have wanted him to be arrested. How do you know what Elvis wants? These are Instagrammers. The chick is. The incident is the latest example of British tourists acting poorly well abroad and comes after a gym instruction from Bristol was filmed carving his initials into the 2000

[00:56:33] year old Coliseum earlier this year. Yeah, wait till you hear what she says though. So the wife, her name is Nanny Murphy, posted a video of the incident on TikTok reading my husband jumped into the Elvis pool.

[00:56:48] She's heard giggling offscreen as a female voice says you're not allowed in there, you're not allowed to do that. You serious? He said as he strolled over to rejoin the onlookers, Elvis didn't stop anyone, Nanny Murphy said. Then he was seen walking alongside a male guard.

[00:57:03] Yes, she should be arrested. You're on private property. There are rules. You broke it. See you later. I mean, at least security can take them off the property and you're not getting a refund and you're not going to be allowed in the gift shop to buy a souvenir.

[00:57:22] He was screaming make me famous, make me famous. The video is viewed 14 million times and two million times respectively. And another TikTok caption, yes, I drove on Elvis's driveway, Ms. Murphy filmed Mr.

[00:57:37] Purcell as he drove his pickup truck up and down the tree lay driveway in the front of the house. The security guard was seen heading towards a car before the video cut off. She singled out the one comment that read how is this funny?

[00:57:52] People are so disrespectful and I hope he got arrested. It sounds like I wrote it. I did not but she hid her face partially offscreen while she insisted it wasn't disrespectful. Elvis caught someone jumping in his pool once and never stopped them.

[00:58:05] He never got them arrested and told them to stay in a pool. It was one of the neighbor kids. They tell you the story when you go. Yeah, we did get escorted out because they don't want anyone else to get the idea to

[00:58:16] jump into it and we weren't banned. So yeah, how is this disrespectful? By the way, we love Ellis and she ended the video by blaming the commenter for just being jealous. It's amazing. What do you see her picture though? We'll put it in the show notes.

[00:58:34] She looks like somebody who would do this. Tickets for tours are just under 80 bucks and they're awesome tours. You can also get VIP tickets starting at 135. They also went to the car museum.

[00:58:51] They're from England but they tied the knot in May and they live in New Jersey now. They visited across the Midwest and South visiting landmarks like the Home Alone House and posing with cowboy hats in Nashville. So they're also morons.

[00:59:08] Anyway, I think security needs to step it up in all these places. The selfies and the TikTok, we got a beef up security. I don't know what you would do at the pool. There already was a security guard. Stand by the diving board? You have to.

[00:59:27] It's so hot. It's so hot though. Electric fence. Around the pool? Yeah. An electric fence. No, I'm into it but it's ugly. It's so pretty back there and you're supposed to be quiet. It's a graveyard for God's sakes. I believe in the death penalty.

[00:59:50] I know you believe in the death penalty. Janet Airlines. Let's talk about Janet Airlines. Here's an airline you'll never likely fly on no matter how much money you have. Janet Airlines Boeing 737 planes traveled to one of the most mysterious and talked about

[01:00:06] places on the face of the earth, Area 51 deep in the Nevada desert. Yep, there the United States government develops its most secretive military technology. Now here's what's weird. I've never even seen as much as I fly. It's a white plane with a red stripe down it.

[01:00:26] I think so. Yeah. Yeah, they fly in and out of Harry Reid airport. It's only 87 miles away. It's very red stripe. The ultra secret base is also rumored to host the crash extraterrestrial spacecraft and even aliens themselves but the Janet jets that take workers and government officials

[01:00:47] there are altogether more nondescript by the passenger airliners not believed to contain any particularly exciting features. Janet whose letters are rumored to stand for joint air network for employee transportation or just another non-existent terminal. Its pilots also fly seven smaller beachcraft prop planes to Area 51.

[01:01:15] So if you ever see one, you'll know it's white with one red stripe. It has no writing on it. Reports indicate that the airline may not actually be officially named at all. Janet is just the call sign in the jets when they are in civilian airspace.

[01:01:34] Area 51 has six runways including a monster 12,000 foot long strip that is among the world's longest. Maybe it's for them. Yeah, maybe it's not for us. So now you know Janet airlines. Maybe they'll have a sale for normal people. I think so like a Christmas sale.

[01:01:56] Janet, yeah who's working for them? Here's my nightmare. Three year cruise that never ends. Like I mean the minute you put me on it I would start crying and then I would cry for three years. I am not a cruiser.

[01:02:19] Those of you who know me or have listened to my actor just listen to this podcast you, we've already established that. If the idea of spending three years on a cruise ship makes you claustrophobic it's time to look away now.

[01:02:30] Life at sea cruises which is due to depart November for a three year round the world cruise reckons that people are so enthused by the idea of sailing around the world now stop that they're going to continue the journey indefinitely making it the cruise that never ends.

[01:02:46] The idea came about after the firm fielded increase from potential customers who were thrilled by the idea of the cruise but couldn't make the start date. Individuals will have to sign up for three years but now they can start at any point

[01:03:00] in the itinerary making it a rolling three year cruise rather than a set one. I get it. So when you jump on it's a start of your three years. I can't do, I can't even do three days.

[01:03:16] I don't even like three hours because once I'm on, as long as that gangplank is still out I'm okay because I know I can run away. Once they pull that up to appeal to customers who want to stay on the itinerary will

[01:03:30] continue to new destinations rather than returning to previous ones. The cruise will then continue indefinitely says home and it becomes the cruise that never ends. That sounds like a horror movie. They'll have seven potential start locations in the first year of the cruise which departs Istanbul November 1st.

[01:03:47] Lewis would love this. Wait till I tell him about it. Hey Lou, you said you were looking for something to do if you don't want to do the road so much. Why don't you be a comic on the cruise that never ends? That'd be even worse.

[01:04:02] People who can't make the Istanbul departure have the chance to join in Barcelona on November 6th, the Bahamas a week later in Rio de Janeiro December 20th. Just for time for Christmas on board. You can't leave the ship ever. You can get on and off.

[01:04:23] Yeah, but you got to pay for what you signed up for it seems like. It's a 1400 seater. We want to have a full capacity. We don't want residents to have the experience trying to keep it at 85%. Ocumesie is currently over 50% for November boardings. That's ridiculous. Oh my God.

[01:04:43] How much is it? It doesn't say. I'll look it up. OK, you look it up. This is where we need an assistant. I'm right here. Well, no, Paddles you do a wonderful job but you're doing other things too. We need one of the children. I'm checking my fantasy.

[01:04:57] Yeah, I know. I can tell when you're doing other things, bad things. OK, so there's a warlock, a cocaine. What is it? Thirty thousand a year. Really? Well, that's cheap. Twenty five hundred a month. Twenty that can't be right. Is that a room below deck with no view?

[01:05:29] Thirty grand for the year. Hmm, that's awfully cheap. I could see why people might do it. This is what I proposed. I would not like to think that there's a cocaine warlord listening to Madigan's Pupcast but there might be.

[01:05:50] Is the Amazon rainforest set to be saved by a cocaine warlord? What did I say? Hold the rainforest hostage. Tell the world you want to keep it. Somebody sent me a billion dollars right now. No matter fact I want 20 billion.

[01:06:02] And if you don't, I'm going to take this can of gas and these little matches I got from a restaurant and I'm going to set the whole goddamn thing on fire. There you go. Same way to save all the African animals.

[01:06:13] We don't need those hunter some dentist over there killing a weird draft. No. Well, a cocaine warlord is helping save the Amazon rainforest in Columbia after his threats to farmers saw deforestation rates fall by 76 percent a year. Wow. He cut deforestation 76 percent.

[01:06:34] Ivan Mordisco, the leader of the Estadal Mer central has implemented strict sanctions to stop land grabbing farmers from slashing trees as the country's third largest illegally armed group. The EMC is known for drug trafficking, illegal gold mining and extortion. Yeah.

[01:06:54] Then you have a picture and go here's my new if you're a rainforest lover, you're like, here's my new hero. He's known for drug trafficking, illegal what? And it starts the sanction occupies the country's most environmentally sensitive territory with significant military power with a support network.

[01:07:08] More than 3000, including 2200 armed fighters said to be said to strong arm anyone who should attempt to evade the rules of the armed factions. This is great. And even the president can't do nothing about it. He's kind of got to support him. I mean, all you're going to die.

[01:07:24] Thanks. In regions where he holds the power, illegal logging has declined at the most essentially rates of 50 percent, 34 and 37 respectively. Yeah. Great. I love it. It took a cocaine warlord. Yeah. His motivation. I don't care what it is.

[01:07:49] It could be linked to an interesting to an interest in maintaining a thick jungle canopy for his troops to move more freely about. Well, who cares? As long as his not the trees protect us and we need water for our military operations. Exactly. Yeah. It's great.

[01:08:06] Let him save it. That's awesome. Yeah. Um, well, we're going to I've got two more than we're going to do lyrics. We're going to save these for next week. Excuse me. Big foot.

[01:08:22] Um, this is going to be in my section, my new section that I'm calling what the fuck? Cause there's some things and I've looked this up on it's on a lot of sites. It's not bullshit. A family that walks on all fours baffles scientist quote, they shouldn't exist.

[01:08:43] You probably won't be able to walk a mile in this family shoes. Oh, I can't believe they opened with a joke. A bad joke. Like, come on. Some members of the family in Turkey walk in a way that is baffled

[01:08:56] scientists and challenges the world's understanding of human evolution. They walk on all fours using the palms of their hands in a bear crawl. The Euless family was first brought into the public sphere through a scientific paper which was followed by a 2006 documentary. Oh, I got to watch this.

[01:09:15] On the BBC called the family that walks on all fours. Professor Nicholas hump. What? Yeah, nobody got creative with the title. No, like save me a donut. I'm on the way and you just show them running. I mean, you could have been more creative.

[01:09:38] This show is called the family that walks on all fours. What do you think it's about? Professor Nicholas Humphrey, an evolutionary psychologist from the London School of Economics found that out of the 18 kids in this family, six of them were born

[01:09:52] with this trait never seen before in modern human adults. Unfortunately, one of the six has died. First of all, all I see when I see these people, I see a bottle of Advil because my back would hurt so bad.

[01:10:08] I don't know how you can and they're not young. I mean, they're old. I never expected that even under the most extraordinary scientific fantasy that modern human beings could return to animal state. He said on the 60 minutes Australia, the thing which marks us off

[01:10:26] from the rest of the animal world is the fact that we're the species which walks on two legs and holds our head high in the air. Well, you know what else separates us? Accessories. You don't see chimps making earrings. Nobody's got necklaces on.

[01:10:40] None of the cats care to have a cape. No, no. Of course it's language and all other sorts of things too, but it's terribly important to sense ourselves to our sense of selves as being different from other animals. I don't really care about that.

[01:10:55] These people cross that boundary. They were described in the documentary as the missing link between man and ape and a Turkish study suggested that devilute devolution might have occurred, reversing three million years of evolution. The documentary also maintains that the family's untold

[01:11:19] untold significance for every one of us and claim they shouldn't exist. Researchers at Liverpool University found that the children at the center of the study had skeletons that more resemble apes than humans and had a shrunken cerebellum, a condition

[01:11:33] that doesn't usually affect other humans' ability to walk on their two legs. However, why apes use their knuckles to get around these human use of palm of their hands marking a significant difference. I think it's possible that we are seeing in this family as

[01:11:46] something that does correspond to a time when we didn't walk like chimps. Chimpanzees was an important step between coming down from the trees and being fully bipedal. He also noted that the children were not necessarily encouraged to stand after nine months old.

[01:12:03] Their development could have therefore been affected. Well, yeah, I mean, if you see your mom and dad walking like that, I had to go watch this documentary. Yeah. How did their backs not hurt? Here's one. They're frolicking by the ocean.

[01:12:20] There's a bit. Yeah, they're having a great time. Do they swim? I don't know if they swim. Here's something interesting. Here's something. This is interesting. Hmm. So because all of my younger siblings that have younger kids, meaning, you know, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen.

[01:12:40] We'll call it that range. When should you get them a phone? That's the big and then it's getting younger and then it depends on how much one begs, how much is one up painting my ass versus one. You're going to make me become a school shooter.

[01:13:00] If you don't get me a phone. Well, well. A town in Ireland. The parents all got together and agreed we're not getting them phones. Really? All the parents. So therefore the kids can't go, well, Cindy has one and Mark has one

[01:13:21] and how am I supposed to get invited to anything? But I never found. More evenly. Starting startling recent figures from communications regular of comm shows that 20 percent of kids have a smart bone by age three. What? No, I'm talking about, I don't know, at least in our family,

[01:13:39] it's like 10, 12. When is it 10? No, but I think most people have said 12 around us, but by the age of three and that rises to 55 percent between the ages of eight and eleven. You're going to be a horrible parent if I go missing someday

[01:13:57] and I didn't have a phone to contact the police and tell them where I was. I was like, my father dad will go, what if you had a goddamn phone? We didn't have any idea where you were for 21 years. Everybody's fine. Nobody went missing. Like exactly, dad.

[01:14:11] Put my hope for that. Yeah. But the resident of one seaside town in Ireland have decided they do not want their little ones to spend their most formative years peering into a tiny LCD screen. The entire parent population of Greystones

[01:14:23] and County Wicklow got together to agree to buy, not to buy smartphones for their kids until they were in secondary school. All eight primary schools in the town, 15 miles south of Dublin, had already stopped people from bringing the electronic devices into the learning environment.

[01:14:37] Yeah, I don't know what the rules are at the Catholic School. I think you can have your phone, but I don't think you're allowed to have it in class. I don't know. I don't know. I gotta ask. I'll ask the kids. We'll report back. Yeah.

[01:14:48] But the school parent associations went further by initiating a voluntary ban among themselves. It was a revolutionary approach would likely become welcomed by parents in Britain as well. A survey by Vodafone, that's their phone coming over there. This week revealed that when choosing to give a child

[01:15:03] their first mobile phone was tough for some parents is selecting the right school to send their children to. Wow. I don't know what your choices of schools were, but. Right. The locals were grateful for a chance to free youngsters from the pressure to permanently connect to social media.

[01:15:24] It gives me another three years for my daughter not to have a smartphone. I suppose the majority of people would feel the pressure to buy a cell phone because their child and their peers have it. Yes, exactly. More than 70% of the parents

[01:15:36] in one daughter's class agreed not to buy the smartphones only once the children reach secondary school only 5% say they're willing to hold out against the tide. So, sixth grade over there is 11 to 12 basically the same here. So they're holding out until then. That's great. Yeah, that's great. Yeah.

[01:15:55] Especially the TikTok and I think sometimes it's too much for my brain and I'm an adult. I can't imagine. And then the ones that get bullied on there, I can't even imagine. No. They had two recent, oh, the town had two recent area,

[01:16:12] had two recent suicides as a result of bullies. Two girls committed suicide over bullying. It's terrifying because it's something happens between the social ward and your kids, something you really have no part of because you didn't see it. It's something that really scares you.

[01:16:26] So it's going great for them. They love it. That's great. France banned phones in the classrooms in 2018. Italy did so last year while Holland and Finland brought in restrictions this year. Yeah. It can be good, it can be bad, bad, bad. No, it worked great.

[01:16:42] So congratulations to that little town. Yeah. Yeah. Can you see America doing that? I can't see Americans at a town meeting agreeing to anything. Any topic, it could be something that seems so bland and banal and there'd still be some guy going, well, I don't really think that.

[01:17:02] And then. That's my right. No, it's good. It's all I want to do. Okay. Okay, it's time for our lyrics send off. These are the lyrics that the children these days are loving and listening to by children. I mean you battles. Yes.

[01:17:23] This is Taylor, the lyrics to anti-hero. Love it. Oh my gosh. So good. I have this thing where I get older but never wiser midnight become my afternoons when my depression works a graveyard shift all of the people like ghosted standing there

[01:17:38] in the room, I should not be left my own devices. They come with prices and vices. I end up in crisis at Taylor's oldest time. I wake up screaming from dreaming one day, I'll watch you as you're leaving cause you got tired of my scheming. Hi, it's me.

[01:17:53] I'm the problem, it's me. At tea time, everybody agrees. I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero. Then this, well this next one really, sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

[01:18:09] and I'm a monster on the hill. Too big to hang out slowly lurching towards your favorite city pierced through the heart but never killed. You can't kill the thing. Now here's the lyrics I was listening to. I'm sad you didn't say that.

[01:18:24] Oh, I know how the chorus goes. Hi, it's me. Hi, I'm the problem, it's me. It's me. Yeah. Here's the lyrics I sang along to. You're living in your own private Idaho. It's the B-52s. Like an underground, underground like a wild potato.

[01:18:43] Don't go on the patio, beware of the pool. Blue bottomless pool. It leads you straight through the gate that opens the pool. What does any of that mean? Keep off the pair, beware of the gate. Watch for the signs that say hidden driveways, your own private Idaho.

[01:19:01] And then it's whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You fell into the water and went down to Idaho. Get out of the state. Get out of the state. You're in. You better beware. Taylor's make a lot more sense.

[01:19:20] Yeah, my own private Idaho driving around in my car. Like I don't even know what I'm saying. Nobody cared. Nobody cared. But I can see why the people feel more connection to Idaho, to Tay-Tay than I do to the B-52s

[01:19:33] because I didn't even know why the hell I was singing about Idaho. I'd never even been to Idaho. I didn't know a damn thing about Idaho. And he tells me I'm living in my own private Idaho. Well, how can that be when I know nothing about it? Exactly.

[01:19:47] All right, turn right. So we will see you soon out of the road. Big thanks to John Novistad. You should go look him up. He's so funny. He's a Denver comic. And he came with me for Boise and Reno.

[01:19:58] And then this week, I have my friend Bill Crawford from Pittsburgh. He's very fun, super fun. He's also on the radio in Pittsburgh, if you're a radio person. In the morning? He's a part of our morning show. Here's where I'm going. Hershey, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Eau Claire, Madison, Chicago,

[01:20:16] Richmond, Charlotte, Des Moines, Kansas City, Virginia Beach, DC, Fort Worth. I'm really excited about Fort Worth. I know I keep saying that. I just haven't been there in so, so, so long. I'm excited about everywhere else. Super excited about Pittsburgh because of the Andy Warhol Museum.

[01:20:32] Pittsburgh's got some of the greatest museums. No, Pittsburgh needs Bill Crawford to do an ad for them to come to Pittsburgh. Like, Pittsburgh is great for a weekend. Pick us if you like football, go to a Steelers' Game or Baseball. The park is awesome. The pirates play.

[01:20:49] But because of the Carnegie's, they have all these awesome. I'm not usually a museum hunter on the road. But I like art. So Andy Warhol, I was like, oh yeah. And it's been there forever. And they had a big fight over that as brother and the foundation.

[01:21:02] Where should it go? Well, he's from Pittsburgh. Let Pittsburgh have it and then put other, let's send it like they do. Send the shit out on the road. But they change it up all the time too. So it's never boring. There's Pittsburgh, it's just the downtown is great.

[01:21:16] The Italian part is great. And then the Pramati Brothers sandwiches, it's just you never get bored in Pittsburgh. Anyway, I don't know why I felt the need to say that. Fort Worth, I'm excited about Houston. I love, I love, I love. St. Louis, Denver.

[01:21:31] The village is Eugene, Portland and Seattle. Yeah. Cause you know, it's kind of rainy, cold up there, up there around there then. And I like it cause it's spooky. Can we talk about you getting ready to pitch for the Cubs?

[01:21:49] Well, I'm going to throw out the first pitch at the Cubs game. So I've been practicing in the backyard. I'm super, I think, amusing my 10 year old neighbors where they're like, oh wow, the lady who's never home is outside playing catch. Like, why is that old lady doing?

[01:22:09] Do you feel confident you'll make it over the mound? Can I make it over the mound? Yes. Yeah. You being over the plate? Over the plate. Yes, but I cannot guarantee that it won't hit somebody on the left or the right. You're going to the mound, though, right?

[01:22:25] Well, I'm going to go to the mound, but I may ask the catcher to walk a little bit towards me like George Bush did. Well, if he could do it, I can do it. That's a long way. 60 feet is a long way to throw a ball accurately.

[01:22:37] I don't know. In St. Louis, I did it and it was terrifying. As soon as they put my name up to the thing, I thought what the fuck did I agree to? This is the dumbest thing I've ever done cause it's not my thing.

[01:22:53] I mean, I played softball as a little kid, but then you age out of that or whatever. I played hot box with my brothers, but when you get out to the mound, it looks so much further. And then it's before the game, so there's all these press people

[01:23:07] and St. Louis Fredbird was down there. And I was like, you might want to tell some of those people to move. I'm not being fake humble. I really don't know where this is going, right? And I don't want to injure somebody

[01:23:19] who's out here to have a good time, and then you're like, I'm borrow. There's a ball in your temple. I mean, I wasn't planning on throwing it hard, but under any circumstances, you don't want to get hit with a baseball on the face.

[01:23:31] And then they were like, oh, yeah, sure, we'll move. And no one moved. I'm like, I'm not fake kidding. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I got it. I got it there. Give the termites enough they next week. And it made it over the plate

[01:23:45] cause my friend Scott at the time was, I don't really think that was a strike, Kathleen. I go, it was if the batter had been a little person. If it was my friend Brad Williams, you bet your ass it was a strike.

[01:23:57] And dirt did not fly up till it went over that plate. Yes, no, I'm actually quite nervous about it. I mean, it's fun, but... You want to go play catch right now? Yeah, I need to go play some more catch

[01:24:10] and I got what a week to do it. Will you buy me margarita? I'm gonna take my baseball glove and make Bill play with him as far as I can. Yeah, I mean, I didn't even know if my arm would still work.

[01:24:24] Like you've reached the age where you're like, what was the last time I threw something for real? That's why I had to ask John, my friend, the comedian. I'm like, John, weird question, but I'm looking at the app and the time we're landing. We're gonna miss the flight.

[01:24:38] And I go, can you still run? But these are the questions I have to ask people my age now. Have you done that in a decade? Like actually physically ran anywhere. I don't mean walk on the treadmill. I don't mean the elliptical. I mean run over there.

[01:24:54] Yeah, yeah, and he was so casual. I don't know man, but yeah, let's give it a try. Yeah, yeah. I'm hacking up lungs. His pants were falling down. He had to stop because of his pants. Yeah, he did really good running, but his pants were not secure enough

[01:25:11] for that kind of run. Anyway, all right, turn right. That's it.