Episode 148: Dolly Parton Live, The First Spotless Giraffe, & Barnacles Solve the MH370 Mystery

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan, welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. Turmites! Episode 148. Fire! It's a little dark up here. Looks like there might be a storm. Is it a hurricane?

[00:00:34] It's not the hurricane. No, it's not coming this far north. But I feel terrible for like I have friends that on Sanibel Island, they retired and then they got hit the first time and now it's boom. It looks like, you know, this is where my dad will go.

[00:00:53] Now that cone could go anywhere from here to get out. No, no, it's going to go pretty much usually where they say it's going to go. And I don't understand Ron DeSantis was on today's a Monday was like none of the tourists need to leave right now.

[00:01:08] Oh, I think you got the yes. I would say leave. When would you rather go Tuesday at nine when the thing's coming in? So I feel bad for the Florida people and my neighbors they have a place down there and they just replaced their roof. And now what?

[00:01:21] Yeah. Um, yeah, so that's not good. So what are we doing to our minds? So have they named it? They named it. I'd ideal you if I'm saying it right. Idealia like Vidalia onion. Like that's too hard. They should have skipped over that.

[00:01:39] They could have skipped it and said, no too. Too hard for the people. They won't need to need to be like what was the last one? Ike. That's easy. Ike hurricane Ike or Ian. It was Ian because that's the one that hit.

[00:01:54] Yeah, I just saw a post about it because Ian's track was exactly the way this one's track is. And then it turned at the last minute and bam, bounced on my friends. Sad times. And they spent all this time redoing it.

[00:02:10] But I'm telling you, it's all my retired friends. And then they go down there and then they spend all their time picking up stuff from the hurricane wrecked. And I think they're just going to get bigger and stronger and more frequent. We are just in the beginning.

[00:02:23] My friends are not going to get bigger and stronger. No, no, they're not. No, they're not definitely not getting stronger. No, none of us are. I don't know. I would think twice about it. I'd rather go. Well, I don't know.

[00:02:38] Just I love the water too, but maybe just a lake. Yeah, you know, it seems like the Gulf is getting really frequently these storms are getting crazy. But the weather channels on fire.

[00:02:51] Every nerd, the one guy, if I didn't know if I just watched him without the sound on, I would think he did cocaine. He's so excited. He's so, so excited that the weather is just gone bonkers. He's got so many things to cover.

[00:03:06] They have simulations of what a six foot surgical like and a 12 foot surgeon. They're just, I love it when the nerds that I feel like they're my friends in my head. Did I know that sounds crazy?

[00:03:16] When they get excited because they don't often get to get their moment in the sun. And it's your time to shine weather channel. Your time to shine. Jim Cantor is posting. He's packing. He's going down. He's on the move. So hunkered down Floridians.

[00:03:31] Well, by the time you hear this, well, yeah. I hope you're out of there. Um, that's what like my friend, his parents are in Tampa and they're retired. And they were like, yeah, we're just going to stay. This is where like my parents too, you are retired.

[00:03:48] You don't have to do anything for the rest of your life. Not one job, nothing. Why can't you look at this as like, Hey, here's an opportunity to go visit Birmingham. Like you have extra money.

[00:03:59] You could get a room in a Marriott and go take a little trip. And then they always go, well, all of our friends are still here. Well, they're not smart either.

[00:04:07] I don't know where you found your friends, but all of you need to remeet and have a meeting and say, let's go somewhere fun. Right. Nope. They have the means. They have a car. No, no.

[00:04:19] If that power goes out, you know, it gets so hot without air conditioning and then you'd have TV done work. Nothing works. Then your food's going to go bad. I feel most sorry for people with lots of animals because you don't want to leave your animals.

[00:04:33] I get it. Or you have to find a hotel that does that. Not easy. I remember being at Charlotte once in a Weston was taking all the people that were running from a hurricane and I walked in, it's my dream. It's my mother's nightmare.

[00:04:46] I walked in and the entire lobby was dogs and cats. I'm like, yes. The winner, winner. Meow, meow. The cats are in the cage as a dog. I was like, oh, these are the people running from the hurricane in the Weston. Let them bring their animals.

[00:05:00] It was great. Anyway, say, stay Floridian people of the Florida. So what am I drinking? We'll start with what I'm drinking. This is a little cathead seltzer. It's a vodka seltzer, gluten-free, sugar-free, vegan, real vodka and it's called cathead and it's made in where? Jackson, Mississippi.

[00:05:23] I'm going to Jackson and I went to Jackson and then I drove to Philadelphia, Mississippi and I went to go see Dolly Parton in the 500 seat theater. There was a termite sitting across the way from me. He said hi. Yeah, it's nice. And there were no douchebags?

[00:05:43] I think probably it was 500 of Marty Stewart's relatives if you're familiar with Marty Stewart. He's a country singer and if you've ever watched the history of country music by Ken Burns, it was a great show. I'm on the fence about country kind of like that.

[00:05:57] I don't have enough knowledge but I thought, oh, I'll watch it. It was very, very good. But Marty Stewart is in it 90% of the time. I'm like, did they interview no one else? Or is it just like I've sat for those interviews in VH1. I love the 80s.

[00:06:11] I've done all those. And there's always somebody that just will never shut the fuck up. Like I'll answer your question and then they're like, do you have anything else to say? I answered, you know, it was funny. He was short and cool. He?

[00:06:24] So the theater, that's his hometown. The theater is a fundraiser for that and for her imagination library. And of course, yes, he came out and it was fine. He didn't overhog the stage but I bet you a lot of those people were Marty's relatives in BFFs.

[00:06:39] That's what I'm thinking. Like I didn't see, I thought there might be some country singer star people. Well not at that. There was a three o'clock show and a seven o'clock show. It was literally like driving to a Hallmark movie.

[00:06:52] There's a town square and I parked and then I'm like, I wonder where I pay? You don't. Welcome to 1952. You just parked downtown. No, I kept looking for signs and then like I don't want to get towed. Like how am I going to get home?

[00:07:06] No parking was free. And then they had a thing. They didn't have a good meeting about their wristbands because I had a wristband to say I was old enough to drink.

[00:07:14] I had a wristband to say I could go into where the drinks are and I had a wristband that said I could go in the theater and drink in there. I'm like, this could have just been one wristband.

[00:07:25] I'm feeling this little head but you go in their area and there's food and you're in like the town square and then Dolly came out on the stage outside. Hey y'all it's 103 degrees. It was so, so hot and she's all dressed up. It's in between her shows.

[00:07:42] She's like, thank you for coming out and they unveiled a mural on the side of the wall and after Wildflowers and Marty's out there and she's thanking and waving getting a pitch made.

[00:07:53] It was I was like this is truly like a hallmark movie like where the angel comes out in the Times Square and goes it's gonna be fine. We're gonna save the town. This is so wonderful. Philadelphia, Mississippi will live and just see another day. It was amazing though.

[00:08:09] I mean, I got caught up in it. I couldn't believe it and then to find out later too, she didn't even feel that good. She had a bad cold. I know she take it.

[00:08:17] She took a bunch of like cold meds so she sat down a lot during the show. She talked more than normal but I liked it just as much. I think because she didn't feel that good. The singing is harder than talking but the stories were funny.

[00:08:30] I don't care how long they are. If she's saying them, they were super funny. It was really, really something and good for her. And then boom, she was gone just like an angel that flew in and gone and we're all left in the town square.

[00:08:46] Was there a hot dog cart? Huh? Was there a hot dog cart? There was, yes there was a hot dog cart. Well it was a Polish dog which I thought was kind of weird for the South.

[00:08:56] They don't usually go, that's a little like Chicago-y to have a Polish dog. Very ethnic. Very ethnic for Philadelphia and Mississippi which I cannot say was booming with ethnicity. No, there were quite a few honey boo boo's running around, trust me on that one.

[00:09:16] But it was a cute little town and Marty, they raised like over a million bucks so the theaters will be there and it was just like a Hallmark movie except I had a Polish dog in a drink and you can't have those in some of the Hallmark movies.

[00:09:32] You can't have your drinks. Where did you stay? I stayed in Jackson at the Weston, it's beautiful. If you ever go to Jackson, yeah. And then I got grilled oysters. I don't trust them anywhere outside of the deep South, Mississippi, maybe Mobile, Alabama.

[00:09:52] They grill them on a grill and then they put Parmesan cheese on them and all this other stuff, Parmesan like not the breadcrumbs and all that stuff. And then garlic and butter and I mean they're so, I just kept sending pictures to Lewis

[00:10:06] because I knew he would totally regret his decision to go elsewhere instead of coming with me. Yeah, that's what you get, Lou. Baby crab claws, you miss those too. So that was that. That was just, I mean if it ever happens again, spend all your money.

[00:10:26] Go do that. I don't know how much longer though. I mean she's, I don't think she's sick or nothing but she's 77. How much? And a billionaire. A billionaire. There's no reason to leave your property. No, no, Carl Deans that didn't home. Go talk to Carl. Exactly.

[00:10:42] Oh my God. So that was wonderful. What are we going to try here? Well look at this. I'll be going to a Bucky's this week. I still haven't found out if I got the job. I don't think they tell anybody until September 18th.

[00:10:55] Yeah, they probably won't give it to me. Doritos, sweet and tangy barbecue. Yeah. Well, fine. They're good. Fine. I mean if you're in a barbecue mood? Yeah. Yeah. Like spicy? Yeah, that's spicy. It says sweet and tangy but they're spicy. New flavor.

[00:11:19] Who sits around and makes this shit up all day? The children. Go for the children. Plano, Texas. Oh, they're Frito-Lay. Yep, I love Fritos. So yeah, I don't know. If you're in a barbecue mood, I say Yadiz. And Marie's, which is my dad's favorite salad dressing.

[00:11:40] The blue cheese or as he likes to call it, rogue fur. It's a roasted garlic aioli. I know, I'll ask for that in a restaurant. He'll order a highball and a salad with rogue fur. I'm like, dad, the waiter is not 75.

[00:11:57] The waiter is 21 and doesn't know what a highball or rogue fur is. So why don't we start over and say you'll have a whiskey and water and you like blue cheese? How about that? Okay. Oh, if you love garlic? Yeah. I'm not that much into it.

[00:12:17] But if you do, that's a winner. Marie's stuff is always good. It's just I don't love garlic that much. That's a lot of garlic. So moving on. I don't have any other Queen news. Everyone's been very quiet. Oh, Tete was in Mexico. Good for her.

[00:12:38] I did see the one Mexican guy. He's singing it in English and Spanish. He's going crazy and he had a shitty seat like his wamp in the nosebleeds. He didn't even care. He did not care. I don't know.

[00:12:49] I'm at that age now where I'm like, where are we sitting because I'm not climbing up that high? No, no, no, no. And where am I parking? That's my other thing. If you don't have a plan for that, I'm not going.

[00:12:59] I need to hear the plan and I need to know exactly how it's going to happen. Yeah, I don't know. The rest of them haven't done really anything. Well, Steve, he's out on the road. They're getting ready for Labor Day.

[00:13:12] That's usually when they slow down, but I don't know. The music people are more of a summer activity. Comedy's more of an indoor sport. That's when we get going big time compared to the summer. So update! It's an Anadelvi update. I know you're not going to love it.

[00:13:31] You're not going to love it. Anadelvi and Kelly Kutron are joining voices to produce New York Fashion Week Show. Delvis 32 and Kutron is 57. They've joined up to produce a fashion show that is set to take place Monday, September 11th. The presentation will feature emerging designer, Xiao Yang.

[00:13:51] It will be hosted at the Canal Street Studio. I thought Schmuckles here couldn't leave her house. Yeah. I thought we were under house arrest. I was going to ask you. Well, I think this other... I have two articles. I don't know.

[00:14:03] I think she's going to stay in her apartment. Come on. I'm serious. I'm sure... They should probably zoom in like the Wizard of Oz. They...Kutron and Delvis told the publication that the event school is to provide visibility for rising talent in the fashion industry.

[00:14:20] This is fun, but not a joke. It's a serious project to gain some attention for talented designers. This project is like if Thelma and Louise and Mother Teresa had a baby. What? What? What is that? I don't know.

[00:14:36] Are they Thelma and Louise and the fashion lady's Mother Teresa? She's an anti-Christ after Elizabeth Holmes. Delvis for her part is a lady to work with Kutron, who she had inspired her to move to the Big Apple. Who still says Big Apple? Old people. Old people. Yeah.

[00:14:52] It was so great to connect with her. I used to watch Kell on Earth as a teenager in Germany. She was... Oh, here. I should read it like her. This is her quote.

[00:15:01] I used to watch her on Kell on Earth as a teenager in Germany and she was...I want such an icon in my mind. My first internship was for a fashion peon agency in Berlin and that decision was largely influenced by her as well.

[00:15:15] Somebody on Instagram goes, what accent is that? I don't know. I'm just doing her. It's a combo of German and English and fake and affected. I'm just mimicking it. Delvis plans with Kutron isn't the only way she's been busy since she's been placed on house arrest in 2022. Yeah.

[00:15:36] She's not...she can't be down there. She has a podcast. Now who would...well... Anna Delvis has a podcast? Yeah, it's on Spotify. Yeah, she's had Julia Fox, Whitney Cummings and Emily Rodzowski. I can't say her name because it's Kowski. I don't know.

[00:15:58] What would I even speak to this woman about? The things I would want to talk to Anna about, she probably ain't going to want to talk about. What's going to happen to you? I'm going to be a prison day moment by moment. What happens when you wake up?

[00:16:09] Are there calisthenics involved? Do you do your leaps and jumps as they would stay in Germany? Do you go into the gymnasium to do your leaps and jumps? So there you go. Anna's added again. Yep. Good for her. Yeah. It's not problem, Johanna.

[00:16:29] You've avoided the police again with your deportation. I don't know what's going on while you aren't being deported yet, but she's not. Update! Here's another freak. This guy though, if anyone buys a ticket from this man, you deserve it.

[00:16:46] That's all I'm saying and I'm usually a little lenient about that stuff. But fraudster, again stop using the word fraudster. Thief, criminal, felon, sociopath, any of those will work. He relaunches the fire festival from behind bars with $8,000 tickets. $8,000 he's going to do it again. He's in jail launching?

[00:17:09] The ill-fated fire festival has been relaunched after its fraudster co-founder devised a $7,999 a ticket coming back while behind bars. Eight grand. Whose plan? Well, hold on. He's not going to tell you who's playing. Paddles, this is none of your business.

[00:17:28] But just give me that $8,000 and I'll tell you later who's going to come. Yeah. Undaunted by the spectacular collapse of the original venture in 2015, Billy McFarland drew up a scheme to bring back the event while back in solitary confinement is now promoting the event on social media.

[00:17:46] Fire Festival 2 is finally happening. Tell me why you should be invited, he said in a Twitter post. Build is the greatest party that never was. The chaos surrounding the original fire festival was the subject of documentaries both on Hulu and Netflix.

[00:17:57] And I watched both, and they were both great and very different. If you want to watch it, you should watch, don't just pick one or the other. Because one is more like a story in a chronological order than the other one's more interview-based.

[00:18:10] But anyway, the event was organized by McFarland and rapper Jarrul in 2016. They promised the ultimate music festival, which was to take place on Norman's K, a private island in the Bahamas once owned by Pablo Escobar.

[00:18:25] It was hyped by influencer supermodels including Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid, and Chanel Iman. Hadeed? Who's Bella Hadid? What does she do? Bella Hadid? Who's Hadid? Bella Hadid? That's how they'd say it in the midwest. She's an influencer?

[00:18:44] Well, she's not influencing me, because I don't even know how to say her name. Attendees were promised two transformative weekends. Oh, they got that. Yeah. And these students say if that'd be a good or bad transformation.

[00:18:56] At an immersive music festival offering the best food, art, and music in adventure. The cheapest ticket started about 500 bucks with VIP packages causing an eye-watering 12 grand. Nearly all of these tickets were sold in just 24 hours. The reality was very, very different.

[00:19:10] In 2017, the festival goers were dropped off on Great Ixuma, the largest city, the largest of the caves in the Bahamas rather than an exclusive desert island. The festival was provided in the form of sod and tents, and the best food offering turned out to be a cheese sandwich.

[00:19:25] The kids that posted the picture of the food on Instagram, I'm sorry, but if you paid all that money just to see Blink 182, you need to sit with your bad cheese sandwich. And think about yourself. Think about what you did so you don't do it again.

[00:19:40] The festival collapsed and a blizzard of litigation followed. He was jailed for defrauding investors and committing wire fraud. He was released in May last year, so he's out after serving four years. Last November, he appeared on Good Morning America and admitted he had let people down. See no!

[00:19:55] No, no, no, Good Morning America. No! We don't have him on. You're a criminal? You did your time? Good for you. Now go about your way, but we're not going to keep promoting your next bullshit. Like who? Books sometimes. I just go, who?

[00:20:09] I thought that was a good idea. Maybe one of the children. I don't know. The bookers are usually old. There are people my age. They're not the youngsters. You don't get to be a booker. But a matter of months after is me a couple.

[00:20:27] McFarland wearing AirPods and a plush white dressing gown. Wow, that sounds like something out of the crown. Prince Charles would be, where's my man's servant to put me in my plush dressing gown? He said this is a big day. It's been the absolute wildest journey to get here.

[00:20:44] It really started during a seven month stint in solitary confinement. I wrote out a 50 page idea. The fire rerun is set to take place in December next year. The festival's lineup has not yet been announced, but he said the first drop of tickets for

[00:21:00] the event has sold out. Bullshit. Bullshit. He's lying guys. All tickets sale revenue will be held in escrow until the final date is announced. Oh, I bet it will not. He's already spent that. Whoever sent your money, cry now. Start crying now. Update. Update.

[00:21:18] Elon admits that his $44 billion X takeover, meaning Twitter, may fail as so many have predicted. May? May fail. Come on. Well, he acknowledged that it might fail. A stark admission that came as he faced prep.

[00:21:43] I didn't even notice this fresh public outrage over a decision to eliminate the social media's sites block feature. Now I'm on Twitter. Here's what I have noticed. I have all these people that say so and so followed you, so and so followed you, but my

[00:21:57] followers don't ever increase anymore, which is fine. I mean, whatever. I don't know even what I believe on that anymore, but I'm on there. I never saw them eliminate the block feature. I guess this happened last week, but I don't block people anyway.

[00:22:12] I just hit mute because a lot of people want you to block them so they can take a screenshot of that and then say, oh, look, so and so blocked me. I just mute you.

[00:22:20] And then I like the idea if you're mean that you're typing your little thumbs off and I never hear it. It just goes into the ether world. I mean, I don't have that many jerks, but occasionally want to pop up.

[00:22:32] So anyway, he commented on X's uncertain future came even as threads, the rival tech space social media platform launched by Zuckerberg last month, prepared to roll out a web version in its later effort to lure users. Threads is not catching on. I listened to all you termites.

[00:22:51] Everybody answered go to this one. Somebody said blue sky. I haven't looked into that yet. I got to see what that's all about. But threads and like I signed up and there, there's all these people that are already following me. I don't even know that I believe that.

[00:23:04] I feel like some are real, but it's a lot. And then I think all these just bots like, I don't know. He said the sad truth is there are no great social networks right now.

[00:23:17] We may fail as so many have predicted, but we'll at least try our best to be the one. He's worth $225 billion. He infuriated users last Friday. Okay, this happened last Friday. I was with my parents. It's kind of all encompassing. I'm not on Twitter with them now.

[00:23:37] No, too many others. I don't tell them on your account. It's hard to think, oh, I'm going to go on Twitter with their Yorkie barking right here, right here on the couch. It's right here on the top of the couch dominating, which it's not supposed to be doing.

[00:23:54] So this happened last Friday. They would know that users would no longer be able to block accounts except in the case of direct messages. He argued that the block feature makes no sense and said users would simply have

[00:24:06] to make do with muting accounts from appearing on their timeline. Well, that's what I do anyway. I don't know. The move triggered immediate pushback with Monica Lewinsky among those who urged Musk to reconsider nixing the future, the feature.

[00:24:22] Please she wrote, please rethink removing the block feature as an anti-bullying activist and target of harassment. I can assure you it's critical to keep people safe online. I don't get it. I'm missing something here. If you mute them, you don't see it. So who cares?

[00:24:37] I mean, I don't ever agree with Elon. But the block thing so you can't tweet Monica Lewinsky anymore, just mute them. Well, I don't understand. What does how much money did this save you anyway? It's already on there.

[00:24:53] The block things are why despite his apparent doubts about ex's future success, he poked fun at the users who raised a stink about his decision to get rid of it. Very fun blocking people who complain that blocking is going away. How does the medicine taste?

[00:25:06] Oh God, see he's always such the antagonist. He's blocking people. I mean, I guess you could use it like if Monica is a famous person and she's actually truly being like stalked or harassed. If you could show the cops, look, I blocked this person. I don't know.

[00:25:24] I don't see my cop friends really giving a shit either way about that. No, I don't see them going, oh, well that's a lot of proof there. Right? You got a stalker, Kathleen. You're going to have to do a little bit better than that. I don't know.

[00:25:36] Maybe I'm missing something. On Saturday, a glitch of ex's platform caused pictures and videos that were uploaded to Twitter prior to 2015 to disappear from the site. Okay. Again, I don't divide an Elon person, but what would ever possess me to go

[00:25:55] look at my own pictures from 2015 on Twitter? It's eight years ago. What, how would I ever know that? I haven't looked at anything beyond what I said a week ago. Maybe, maybe, probably yesterday. I don't know.

[00:26:10] One of the pictures that seemed to be temporarily erased was comedian Ellen DeGeneres' famous selfie from the 2014 Oscars along, so and so and so and so and so and so. The image was later restored. It's online somewhere. Who cares? Or vandalism.

[00:26:25] I mean, he shouldn't be doing it if he's just doing it as like a hate thing. Just ju-juvenile. Yeah. He wants a headline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Separately, a report from Mashable revealed that 42% of Musk's roughly 153 million

[00:26:43] followers had zero followers of their own, more than 100 million accounts of follow Musk have tweeted fewer. Well, there are bots. Right. And then you pay for that. You can buy followers. You can buy as many as you want. And it's not that expensive.

[00:26:55] I can tell the comedians to do it. It's so obvious, but why would you want to do that? I don't want bots on there. If I think it's a bot, I immediately throw them out. Yeah.

[00:27:06] Because I don't want them on there putting, doing things, whatever, bots do, secret things, getting in my phone. Right. Uh, holy shit. There's some more updates. Five, 2300 year old coins and infant remains found at ancient cemetery.

[00:27:30] Archeologists have uncovered five 2300 year old gold coins as well as the remains of young children at the site of an ancient burial ground. The archeology site of the ancient Carthage added to, um, world heritage list in 1979 lies what is now the residential suburban of modern Tunisia's capital Tunis.

[00:27:50] It was a sacred site, 2300 year old coins. Wow. Yeah. That's kind of weird. They found all the kids too though. Yeah. I don't necessarily know about all that. Um, they found the discovery in the, uh, where they were doing, um, um, uh, excavation stuff.

[00:28:11] It was a great city of antiquity founded by the Phoenicians on the north coast of Tunisia and the first millennium BC. The city, the city became a thriving port and trading center eventually developing into a significant power in the Mediterranean. Yes. What a phone.

[00:28:24] Thousands of urns containing the ashes of young children had previously been found at the site. Yeah. The gold coins reflect the richness of the historical period. Wow. They date back to the third century BC. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Good for them.

[00:28:41] Now what are you going to do with them? They better go to a museum. Right. Yeah. They discovered several 500 year old gold coins at the same place. And then they found a real silver coin dated to the first Jewish revolt against the Roman Empire between AD 66 and 70. Cool.

[00:28:58] Yep. Good for you guys. Love it. This is freaky. This will make you believe in like trolls and underground beings. Yeah. By the way, I'm checking in on the Loch Ness thing and all the updates I've seen is they have very strange noises.

[00:29:14] Well, that's not sadly that's not what I was hoping for. No. I got to get into it this week but I'm going to check on that see if there's any updates of anything. The ancient forest world discovered more than 600 feet below the surface in a huge sinkhole

[00:29:30] in China. Whoa. A huge ancient forest has been discovered 630 feet under the ground down in a sinkhole in China. The underground mystery was stumbled upon in a Chinese geopark by a cave exploration team of scientists. The phenomenon is also known in China as Tai Kang or Heavenly Pit.

[00:29:48] You should see a picture of this place. I mean it looks like we're hobbits live. It's beautiful. Wow. It's a beautiful forest. Yeah. The geopark is described in the website as primarily sedimentary with more than 60% of 3,000 M thick denovi- Okay, rocks. I can't do all that.

[00:30:09] That's way too hard. Way too hard. It's known for being in the territory of caves and the world's longest natural bridge. Yeah, it's gorgeous though. They've said that the primitive forest could be home to previously unidentified plant animal species. Yeah, I bet.

[00:30:24] I bet there's crazy shit living down there. Great sinkholes like are not unusual in areas like this in China. The Chinese government states own news Xinhao released an official report saying that it brings their country to the number of 30 sinkholes.

[00:30:39] But do they all have this kind of forest? Yeah. The dense shade plants are up to one's shoulders and the ancient trees growing at the bottom are 40 meters high. Yeah. Holy shit. Yep. It took them forever to get to the bottom.

[00:30:57] They're usually created by the dissolution of bedrock by groundwater. It's like, it is like something they said that it's a unique forest. It looks like something out of a fantasy movie. It does. What's the other way? Not the hobbits. Is it the hobbit something?

[00:31:12] I don't go see those movies. It's like you're in a terrarium. Yeah. How many meters? 42 meters high. It's 133 feet. 133 feet tall? It's big. Yeah. So if you want to go see the pictures, you should. Wow. What am I thinking of? Oh, Lord of the Rings.

[00:31:35] I didn't see it. I didn't either. Are those hobbits? I don't know. I don't know. Ask your nerd friends. Nerd friends? Where are my nerd friends? Those hobbits? No, they're go-go-go's. I don't know. Moving on to news. We're moving on. This, okay.

[00:31:52] So I'm in Nashville a lot half the year and I want to go to the zoo because and I'm going to tell you more about these guys next week. They have Komodo dragons. No. They just got them. Shut up. And there's billboards all over town.

[00:32:07] The dragons are here. It's a fun zoo. Not as good as the St. Louis Zoo where I grew up. I would put our zoo up against Africa. That's how good the St. Louis Zoo is. The continent of Africa. And our zoo is free. It's always been free.

[00:32:23] Our zookeeper was Marlon Perkins from Mutual of Omaha. No, the San Diego Zoo, I say, is they would tie. St. Louis and San Diego for number one zoos. Because when I started going on the road and I had all week in the town, I would

[00:32:36] always go to their zoos for fun. And I mean some of them. And I don't know if they've made repairs in the last 15 years, but the Kansas City Zoo, come on Kansas City fellow Missourians, let's get it together. They're focused on football.

[00:32:51] It was, yeah, they're focused on football. They're focused on football, barbecue. Yeah, you got to get your shit together. Anyway, I want to go to a benefit of the Nashville Zoo. It's good. It's very good. But they have dragons.

[00:33:04] But now, spotless giraffe thought to be the only one in the world was born at the Nashville Zoo last week. Yep. It's so strange. It looks like a horse because it doesn't have the puzzle pieces. It has no markings. That's what I call the markings of a giraffe.

[00:33:25] They're not dots. They're not spots. It looks like puzzle pieces. One of the rarest sites in the animal kingdom has appeared in the unlikely setting of a Tennessee Zoo, which is hosted the birth of what is thought to be the world's only singularly colored giraffe. It's brown.

[00:33:42] It's a beautiful brown red. All burned, if you will. Red. Red. The female giraffe, it's a gal. Born July 31st as uniform brown color lacking the distinctive patch pattern that giraffes, along with their exceptionally long necks, are known for. It's the bright zoo.

[00:34:00] I thought it's at the Nashville. Where's bright zoo? Is that what this one's called in Nashville? Oh, it's called the I Never Do. It's already six foot tall. The giraffe. She's already six feet tall. The zoo believes it's the giraffe's one of a kind, given that giraffes are

[00:34:15] very born without their moderate appearance, which primarily serves as a form of camouflage in the wild. The skin under the spots also has a system of blood vessels that allows the giraffes to release heat through the center of each patch. Wow. Providing a form of thermal regulation.

[00:34:31] Isn't that crazy? Each giraffe, apart from the Tennessee Newcomber, has a unique pattern of patches while researchers believing these patterns are inherited from their moms. Bright Zoo said it hopes the unusual birth would help highlight the challenges faced by giraffes in the world.

[00:34:44] The world's tallest animal is threatened by the fragmentation of its habitat in Africa as well as from illicit poaching. That's so sad. How could you kill one? I'm not against all hunting at all. My dad and cousins and brother, everybody goes deer hunting when

[00:35:00] there's too many deer, but you know there's none left. I don't know. I couldn't do it. But then I see those people on Instagram that could do all that big giant hunting and I'm like, you just want the Facebook picture.

[00:35:13] Can't you just go next to it and get your picture taken? You gotta kill it? Oh, I know. The zoo has announced a contest for the public to name the new giraffe. The shortlisted options are kipiki, which means unique and Swahili. Shakiri, which means the most beautiful.

[00:35:34] And Jamela, which means one great beauty. One of great beauty. I was gonna say Dolly. Yeah, why not Dolly? Yeah, name Dolly. Right. Let's not get all weird and fancy. Let's not get fancy down here in Nashville. You keep it simple and we're gonna write on that plaque.

[00:35:51] We're not writing shihiki or whatever it was. People be like, now do what? What are we supposed to call her shitty? No, not shitty. Shihiki. What Swahili? Shut up. Just call her something normal. Okay. How about Betty? For no reason. Just a nice name. Betty.

[00:36:16] Moving on, moving on. This is true. I think people think sometimes I make this shit up, but it is, this is true. Germany, Germany. Do you want to explain your Wolfman? What? This is weird and I don't understand how we don't know who this person is.

[00:36:40] Mysterious Wolfman spotted in Germany's Harz Mountains. Reports have emerged and these kids took a picture. The children. The children were smart. From a distance, he looks like he has no clothing on.

[00:36:55] He has a giant stick like a caveman and he is either very, very, very dark skinned or he, I don't know, you can't tell. Or maybe he's just been out in the sun too long for him.

[00:37:11] Reports have emerged from a baffling sighting in the forests of central Germany's Harz Mountains where hikers claim to have encountered an I can never say the word. Aigmatic figure referred to as the Wolfman.

[00:37:23] According to German newspaper, Bill, the individual who said to have lived in the forest for five years was captured on camera by two hikers. The photographs depict a man seemingly naked covered in dirt or appearing remarkably hairy, seated on the ground and grossed in playing with the sand.

[00:37:40] This peculiar encounter unfolded at the base of a ruined castle in Blankberg, situated in the state of Saxony and Halt. This is so weird. Gina Weiss, a 31 year old and her 38 year old companion Toby were strolling through Blankenburg on a Tuesday evening when they stumbled upon the Wolfman.

[00:38:00] She recounted the experience stating when we reached the sand caves we saw the Wolfman. He stood up on one of the caves and held a long wooden stick like a lance arm. She described the individual's appearance as reminiscent of a stone age figure from history books.

[00:38:16] Despite their ten minute encounter, the Wolfman remained silent, keeping a fixed gaze on his hikers. Oh well now you've been cursed. You're not supposed to look at him. Don't you know those things? Oh my God, God, leave him alone.

[00:38:32] This wasn't the first encounter with the Wolfman in the Blankenburg region. Authorities disclosed that numerous reports have been filed over the past five years detailing sightings of an individual adorned in what appears to be Wolf-a-tire or fur within the forested expanse.

[00:38:48] The unusual sightings even prompted calls for help. Blackburn Fire Brigades Alexander remarks someone clearly knows how to live outside and adapt to the changing seasons. Help. Hikers alarmed authorities with a call stating help, there's a Wolfman running around here. I don't think that's an abnormal call. No.

[00:39:12] The plea was taken seriously by both the Fire Brigade and the police resulting in a search throughout the area. However their search yielded only traces of old fire sites.

[00:39:20] While some of the members of the Fire Brigade report glimpses of a forest dweller donning for the latest sighting has been met with skepticism. A local Fire volunteer dismissed a recent report as nonsense.

[00:39:30] Well I don't think this picture is nonsense but I know I'm old, I believe all pictures are more some, my mom and dad are worse than me. But why would you go through all this? Just to go viral?

[00:39:42] You're going to make your friend run naked with wolf stuff on in a stick? I don't know. The densely forested regions cover a significant portion of Germany providing fertile grounds for myths and legends.

[00:39:54] These tales often center around people living on the land and mysterious mysteries of the wilderness. The forests have been historically a wellspring of information giving to fairy tales, blah blah blah, the brothers grew them, blah blah blah. I don't know. Are there any German termites?

[00:40:11] Do we believe in the Wolfman? Germites. Germites? Dewey dewey dewey. This makes me laugh my ass off. Zoom CEO, the CEO of Zoom. He said employees need to come back to work because it's really hard to work over Zoom. Hello! I hated Zoom from day one.

[00:40:37] Because like when I have to do media stuff, if I have to call radio stations, you used to just be able to call. And then everybody's like, I can't make it to Zoom. Well that means I have to take a shower.

[00:40:49] The whole joy of radio is I can get up, drink coffee, look like crap and do all my work. And then I go back to bed, usually. That's how that rolls. It depends on what time I have to get up. The baby goes back to bed.

[00:41:01] Back to the big crib. But I'm never like, I'm not a Zoomer. I will do it under duress. I will do it for some podcast if it's friends but I just don't like it. Nobody looks right.

[00:41:13] Everybody's looking behind them to look at what their own furniture looks like. Do I look like I'm a serious person or should I be a funny person? Or it's distracting. But you're the CEO, dude. You can't say this. It's so great. He's realizing no, everyone's just fucking off.

[00:41:32] People don't have pants on. People have cats underneath them. There's dogs going, the whole time you're on the Zoom. The video CEO wants his employees to come back into the office at least two days a week telling staff during a company-wide meeting on what? Zoom.

[00:41:51] That they simply just cannot have a great conversation via remote meetings alone. No, it's never a great conversation because there's still a leg. It's not like you're sitting there in a bar. There's still that pause. I'm advocating all meetings in bars.

[00:42:10] All meetings, whether they're serious or non-serious, there is no reason. You don't need to go to WeWork and we don't need to Zoom. If I said, hey, everybody meet me at Paradise where they have real live minnow shots. That's at Lake of the Ozarks.

[00:42:24] You can shoot them in a- Paradise? Yeah. That's why it's Paradise. I mean, there's just no- I just can't believe the irony. He said quite often you come up with great ideas. But when we are on Zoom, it's really hard.

[00:42:40] We cannot debate each other well because everyone tends to be friendly when you're enjoying a Zoom call. I don't know about that. Well, I'm not on them with lots of other people. I see corporate friends of mine where there's a pretty bunch out of control. There's like 50 people.

[00:42:56] And then people all of a sudden during one, no one's really paying attention. Like I had to have one with all the website people and they're nice and all that. But then a guy would just blink out.

[00:43:05] He would just go, I'm like, where the fuck did he just go? Why is he not listening? And then it's back, oh sorry man, I don't care. That's what I'm now focused on. I bet he went to go get something to eat.

[00:43:18] What am I going to have for lunch? I mean, talk about that. We cannot debate each other very well because everyone tends to be friendly. One of the chief beneficiaries of COVID lockdown, air revolution and remote Zoom has come under fire

[00:43:31] recently for making potentially exploitive changes to their conferences, apps, terms and conditions. Well, I wouldn't know anything about that. Are they going to start to say they own your meeting? Do they own the content?

[00:43:44] Buried with Zoom's new T plus C, the technology quietly announced its intention to scrape its own users' private videos, audio and messaging sessions for training and tuning and future art and future AI projects. So now you're stealing my voice. I don't like that. Eric, he's the CEO.

[00:44:07] Eric Wan Yan. I don't know why you say that. In our early days, we all knew each other, he said. This audio was leaked. But as the company has scaled up to meet the growing role in office culture worldwide,

[00:44:21] he says Zoom's own camarade between staffers and roadie do to both the isolation of remote work and the expansion of the workforce. Over the past five years, we've hired so many new Zoomies. Well they call them Zoomies. Zoomies, Zoomies, Zoomies. It's really hard to build trust.

[00:44:36] Trust is a foundation for everything. Without trust, we will be slow. The erasured erosion of trust internally at Zoom echoes customers' own second thoughts on the app's privacy standards for both personal security and corporate trade secrets. You might want to think about all that. I don't know.

[00:44:55] I'm in favor of the children not having to go back into offices, but two days a week. Come on. You can meet Eric halfway, I guess. I don't know. Elliott Higgins of the news organization Bellingcat said we run our training workshops on Zoom

[00:45:09] so Zoom is effectively planning to train its AI on our entire workshop with no compensation. So bye-bye Zoom. Okay, that's not cool. You can't use all of our real work meetings as you're... Yeah. Yeah. So...

[00:45:28] Somebody wrote, I used to say the most important thing to remember about Zoom is that remember everyone wants to see your cat, but now the most important thing to remember is that Zoom is going to use your Zoom sessions to train AI,

[00:45:39] which is a great reason to stop using Zoom. Yeah. Well, they shouldn't do that. I don't think they should... But it was just a matter of time. Yeah. Till they're gonna take it and then they'll say they're not doing it and they'll be doing it. Right. Yeah.

[00:45:53] So you just have to decide this is another thing. You know, can... What's the... Hey Google speaker that's in this house and then my dad is like, you leave that shit on. Do you know what it's listening to?

[00:46:06] I'm like, Dad, even if there's someone listening in the world, what do they hear me talking to the baby cat? Yeah, who's gonna be a big cat? I mean, who... Nobody wants... Where's your bird? Go get your bird.

[00:46:19] I mean, I'm sure they're ready to blow their heads off whoever has to listen to my conversation with a cat. God. That is just... Who likes Subway still? I never really liked Subway. No, it's Chewy. Jersey Mikes and Jimmy Johns are better. But guess what?

[00:46:38] The people who own Jimmy Johns? No. Roark Capital? Yep. And Buy-in-Subway. Nice. Yep. It's gonna be gone. But I don't know if they're gonna keep the name. It doesn't say. Subway entered into a definitive agreement to be acquired by affiliates of private equity firm Roark Capital,

[00:46:56] the owner of Jimmy Johns. But wait a year, what else do they order? Subway had been family run for more than 60 years. They put the restaurant chain up for sale. It's kind of sad. Yeah. But also, the Irish courts proved it's not even bread,

[00:47:10] whatever we're eating over there. The meat's wet. It is... Yeah, the meat feels a little wet and it feels like the cheap turkey my mom would buy instead of the good turkey and everybody knows the difference. I'm not saying it is that, but that's what it tasted like.

[00:47:25] But guess what? Whoever this Roark company is, boy, I like everything on this list and it's all terrible for you. Arby's? Taco Bell and Arby's, that's a tie. My two favorite. Yep. Annie's? How can you not at the airport? Oh! Basket Robbins? Love it. Buffalo Wild Wings?

[00:47:49] I don't love because the seats aren't comfortable. They're freezing. I can't go in there and shorts. My legs freeze. The wings are okay. Cinnabun? They own that? They own Carl's Jr.? I've never really eaten there. Hardies? I used to love it when I was like in high school

[00:48:04] there was one by our house. Culver's the Butter Burger? Nice. Wonderful. Duncan? Donks. Donks is my East Coast friends would say. Jamba, Jim and Nick's BBQ? Miller's Ape's? I've eaten it somewhere on the road. Those are fine. Yep. Nothing Bunt Cakes, Schlotsky's, Seattle's Best International, Sonic,

[00:48:26] and the Cheesecake Factory. Holy shit. Subway has 37,000 subways around the world. Annual revenue in the region of 10 billion. What? Yep, Subway restaurants are owned and operated by Subways franchisees. That's a lot of money. They got up for you to meet.

[00:48:43] I think I'm just beyond it with Jimmy Johnson or Jersey Mike's. I like them both. If it's on the road and it's not my where I'm like, okay, I want to know what I'm actually eating. Yeah, but I don't even know what if that's all real.

[00:48:56] But okay, this is Midwest Crazy ID Channel stuff. The BTK killer? Termites? Do we all remember that serial killer? Bind Tortilla? Yeah. I think it's the best place to eat. The BTK killer? Termites? Do we all remember that serial killer? Bind Torture Kill? Dennis Radar was his name.

[00:49:17] Well, it's really weird because a while back, I don't know what I saw it on or whatever, but his daughter seems like a very sensible, nice person. And then she moved. You know, you have to move. You can't be in the town, right?

[00:49:32] I think she went to Minnesota or something. And then she just like chilled out for a while. But then she came out and she wrote a book about the murder. You know, no harm, no fault. But she went to jail to visit her father,

[00:49:44] who she had not visited yet. And I'm going to read you the story because they think there's two unsolved murders that he may have committed and he's not doing well health-wise. So they sent her in to try to get him to chat him up. Yeah.

[00:49:59] Come on, freaky dad. What else did you do? Was it that boring in Kansas? I didn't like that he was a compliance officer and I was so mad at that dog catcher from when I was 17 years old. What? Yeah, I've said that story on here.

[00:50:14] That's why I got a ticket. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's just ridiculous. But anyway, maybe there's nice ones out there. I don't know. I've never had one except that one. An infamous serial killer's daughter has shared how she stunned him with a surprise prison visit

[00:50:27] while trying to yield information about possible undiscovered victims. Dennis Radar, better known as the BTK killer, was visited by Kerry Rossin, who said her dad was shocked to see her and that she feared he's close to dying. She says she doesn't know how much longer

[00:50:41] he has left after setting out to help the cops who discovered possible trophies from victims after launching a search for evidence at his home in Kansas on Tuesday. So they were digging up the backyard again. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. This might really be helpful if somebody's kid

[00:50:57] is still missing and maybe they get some closure on that. Officials on Wednesday dug up items of interest including binding type items during searches of his old property. Following the discovery of pantyhose with knots that would probably go around the wrist or ankle in April. Wow.

[00:51:13] Yeah, wait, there's one more. Radar78 gave himself the nickname BTK as an acrimon for binding, torture and killing. He confessed to killing 10 people from 1978 until his arrest in 2005. He's such an idiot too. He typed it all on a church computer

[00:51:30] and sent it like an old school disc to the cops and it was basically watermarked right in there. This was from this computer, here's the address. Got himself caught. His daughter said investigators have now zeroed in on the site of a metal shed in the backyard

[00:51:46] of her childhood home in Park City, Kansas where he believed that he may have hidden tokens stolen from his victims such as driver's license. He was known to hide things in our house, she revealed. He built a false bottom in our hallway

[00:51:58] where he hid evidence like driver's licenses before. We also had two dogs die and he buried one of them in the backyard in the 90s. I've always theorized that he might have buried stuff there too. He's currently serving 10 life consecutive sentences at the El Dorado Correctional Philistine, Kansas.

[00:52:18] She said she first became aware of new cold cases linked to her father in January, though the investigation into the disappearance of Cindy Dawn Kinney, a 16-year-old cheerleader who was last seen in 1976. In June, she then became aware of the unsolved murder

[00:52:33] of Shawna Garber, whose remains were found in Pineville, Moe, which would just be across the state line in 1990, which motivated her to help investigators. So I bet you they do find it. Although I would think he would have bragged about it because he's a full-blown narcissist.

[00:52:52] He really likes telling you everything he did, the videos of him on tape of just bragging about, and then I did this, and then I got away with this. And you know, I... Is anybody living in the house? Is anybody... I don't know if anybody's in the house.

[00:53:07] We just sit on the other side of the state line from Kansas in Wichita, which is his stomping ground. There's other unsolved murders and missing cases. He's been questioned over the disappearance of his four and denied killing either woman, but did previously say he enjoyed his meeting

[00:53:23] with investigators over the Garber disappearance. Rossin's fly out to see her father in Kansas for a total of three hours in June and July. It was the first time they met face-to-face since his arrest in 2005. Yeah, imagine if that was your dad.

[00:53:37] Then you got to rethink your whole life. Everything he did, where he said he was, what kind of lies, what kind of bullshit. She said I hadn't had contact with him in 18 years besides letters to sit across from him. It was quite staggering.

[00:53:51] She's detailed her struggle to come with her father's heinous crimes in several books. She often advocates for victims in high-profile cases. Her father's murders began before she was even born and kept going until she was 12. It wasn't until 2005, and she was in her mid-20s

[00:54:09] when she learned of her father's gruesome crimes. The key to surviving life with my dad, watched the pot closely. She said to turn down the heat to get out of the way before it blows. Oh, man. God. The home was torn down in 2007. Oh, it was torn down?

[00:54:30] The property belongs to the city. Oh, the city bought it so they can keep digging whenever they want and stuff. Good idea. You go Kansas, putting on your thinking caps. Go for you. She tried to press him for details, but he brushed it off, dashing hopes

[00:54:50] he would give grieving families some relief after previously refusing to cooperate with police. He's still sharp as attack, despite his alien health. He was coming up with alibis. I mean, he could tell I was there for answers. It was surreal. And then I went to her Twitter thing.

[00:55:11] Actually, it just came up on my thing. I didn't even go to it, and she said she's leaving Twitter for now. There's things going on she can't talk about. And this is no longer a way to contact me. It was weird. Yeah, yeah.

[00:55:28] So there's a little update on the BTK killer. Sounds like he's not going to give it up though. No. All right. I don't think... All right, I got to do this one. I got a couple ones more. My flight, Missing Malaysia Flight 370. Let's still talk about it. Yeah.

[00:55:50] Scientists claim barnacles found on the wings of the missing plane could reveal exactly where it is. What? Barnacles? I know barnacles. I know. The answer may be contained in the shells of little crustaceans called barnacles that attach themselves to bits of the plane's debris.

[00:56:09] Barnacle shells contain information about the different water temperatures they've been exposed to in their lifespan. Do you academics think this information can help track the movement of the crustaceans to where they first attach themselves to the debris and turn the place...

[00:56:25] Oh, and in turn find the place that Flight 370 hit the water. Although no one knows, of course we don't know, but I think the pilot... Yeah. That's widely believed in the Indian Ocean because several debris were confirmed to have been part of the plane.

[00:56:46] Then it's just the history of the thing, but they think they can... I mean, really? Do we have any scientific termites? Can we really do that? The whole ocean? The Indian, that's only one ocean. They don't even know. They're in the China Sea.

[00:57:02] They're at Lake of the Ozarks looking for this plane. I mean, it could be anywhere. That's ridiculous. It's similar to the tree rings on barnacles. That's how they... So I get what they're saying, like they can... But this seems like kind of a stretch.

[00:57:19] But I'm going to hope they're right and I hope it happens. I hope we find it for all those people that want to know. Here's a little sad story. San Francisco, let's get it together, shall we? Please? I love your city. I love your chowder bowls. I know.

[00:57:37] That's so touristy. Well, have you had one? Yeah, they're delicious. They're delicious. It's a touristy thing. I'll sit there and take selfies of myself eating a chowder bowl all day long. Nordstrom closes its San Francisco store after 35 years. Downtown. That is sad because that was a beautiful Nordstrom.

[00:57:55] Nordstrom closes the doors of his five-story department. On Sunday, ending a 35 run as the city suffers a retail exodus. The retailer announced the closure in line on May, saying the dynamics of the downtown San Francisco market have changed dramatically over the past several years.

[00:58:10] Impacting customer foot traffic to our stores and our ability to operate successfully. This is after we already talked about hotels that are leaving downtown San Francisco. Somebody's got to get it together. And yet my friends who work out there or live anywhere near there,

[00:58:24] the rent is still crazy. It's crazy expensive. A nearby Nordstrom Rack closed last month. It's Westfield that owns that whole thing. Challenging conditions in downtown San Francisco, which has led to decline in sales, occupancy and foot traffic. Once a bustling retail center at the heart of the thing,

[00:58:51] San Francisco has taken a significant hit in the past few years. Total sales have fallen from 455 million to 298. And the foot traffic has plunged from 9 million visits to 5.6. This is another step back for San Francisco,

[00:59:07] which saw its economy hit hard by the pandemic as many Silicon Valley companies allowed flexible work from home policies resulting in many white collar workers filtering out of the city. Three days later, three years later, corporate America has yet to return in the same numbers.

[00:59:20] This is the problem with like Minnesota, for instance, Minneapolis. I've been going there my whole life to do it. I always did it after the comedy club and then I got graduating and kept going to the state theater down there.

[00:59:32] Target is a big employer in Minneapolis to store Target. And then when they said work from, you know, pandemic stuff, well, now nobody's coming down for lunch. You've lost your lunch crowd. You lost your happy hour crowd. One of my favorite little Irish pubs in downtown Minneapolis,

[00:59:47] it's only open for events now. I know I went over on my what? So there has to be like a Timberwolves game or a concert and they're not open after the event, just before the event. Yeah.

[00:59:59] So if you had all these companies and the people did not come back to work, as much as I cheer on the children who want to wear from home, well, we got to think of what are we going to do with all this space then? True. Yeah.

[01:00:10] I say pickleball. The whole Sears Tower has got to be pickleball. It's sad though. I mean, I like these cities. Wow. Yeah. Well-known chain stores like Whole Foods, Anthropology, Office Depot and CB2 have also ceased operations in the cities downtown since the start of the pandemic.

[01:00:31] In total, more than 39 retail stores have shuttered in San Francisco. Union Square like I used to go down there and make a whole day out of it. Yes. Especially, I don't know, despite the troubles IKEA opened last week, a three level 52,000 square foot store.

[01:00:47] City leaders are hoping that the home furniture store will draw shoppers to the downtown San Francisco area and support other businesses in the area at the time of closures. I don't know. I don't see the San Francisco people running down to an IKEA. No.

[01:01:02] And there's probably one out in San Mateo or... San Mateo. Yeah. I'm going to save that one. I don't want to save this one. Okay, FEMA. Can we talk about FEMA officials? Yes. And then I'm going to tell you about some wild monkeys in Florida. What? Yeah.

[01:01:23] Of course. Speaking of wildfires. I have been to Maui. I've been lucky enough to go maybe three times in my life. Cool. And I did a corporate gig there. And the deal and the shindig was at the Four Seasons. Very fancy.

[01:01:42] I didn't love that Four Seasons because they create their own little beach there. It's very corporate, so you can't go on a real beach walk because you're kind of in a cove. Okay, I mean it's all beautiful. Don't get me wrong.

[01:01:56] But I did wonder when we send all these FEMA people to go help the people of La Jaina, where are they going to stay? Right. And can we get FEMA trailers there? Or... Or... Or... I would say, guess where you're not staying? The Four Seasons. It's $1,000 a night.

[01:02:14] They're staying the Four Seasons? Yep. Not just there either. The Grand Walia. Super fancy. Love it. I love going there for a drink. It's like fancy, fancy, fancy. Yeah, they're staying at three five-star hotels. Fairmont, Kiana, Lanai, oh the Fairmont, the Four Seasons and the Grand Walia.

[01:02:33] Just not a good look, United States government. How about giant ass tents? And I'm not even kidding. Camp. All the people that got the fires destroyed their houses, they're probably camping. Where are they? I don't know. But you don't need to be at the Four Seasons.

[01:02:49] This is where governments sometimes you just go... Even if they're letting you have the room for free. Which I doubt they are. But even if they were, it's still a bad look. When you gave the people $700, they can't even buy one night there. If they wanted to.

[01:03:04] Bungling US government bureaucrats dispatched them, Maui Disaster Zone, are shacking up $1,000 night luxury hotels on the Hawaiian island. Officials from BEAMA have been slammed by locals over their slow response to the devastating wildfires that acclaimed at least 114 lives

[01:03:19] of thousands of people homeless after their houses were scorched to the ground. But that has not stopped the under fire agency from slashing taxpayer cash to put up more than a thousand of its personnel at four bank breaking resorts in Walea. Walea is probably, if I remember right,

[01:03:36] a half hour south of where the fires were about that. But this is... I mean how do you... No, no, no, you just don't do this. Even if you had to get big cool tents and Johnny on the spot, and sorry, it sucks to be FEMA sometimes. Right.

[01:03:57] Oh, 45 minute drive away from the fire town ravage of Lina. Like what a federal government rates for the week all of them are $1,000 a night. To complete the mission FEMA selected hotels where all responders can be centrally located to ensure the most effective response possible

[01:04:17] due to the lack of available lodging they've negotiated government rates at the lowest possible cost for our staff. It still don't look good. It looks terrible. Do something else. I don't know what the answer is, but it's not this.

[01:04:29] As we transition and recover staff will move to longer term more affordable responder lodging. Right, where's that? The Fairmont Keelani, well known for heavenly white, boasts on its website being the only all sweet hotel in Hawaii that once welcomed ex-bond star Pierce Bronson

[01:04:51] and offers gourmet dining to a wealthy guest. The 708 rooms, the four seasons. Yeah, I just this is where I don't care if it's free. It looks horrible. Terrible. Yeah. Wally Beach. Well, yeah, that's just a note to the government.

[01:05:11] You got to rethink this stuff before you do that. Just going to piss people off. No buffet for you. Florida? Florida. Hello. I know you're busy with your hurricane, but can we talk about your wild monkeys? This is crazy.

[01:05:36] Wait to see the sometimes I think monkeys are adorable. Sometimes they're so human like it's terrifying. Like, yeah, I don't know what I know. They're probably smarter than me. Like if there were a bunch of them and they said, let's make a plan to fuck with Kathleen.

[01:05:52] I think they could do it. Officials in Florida are warning residents to keep their distance from wild monkeys that have been spotted around the city. Residents of Orange City, which is about 30 miles north of Orlando. Did you hear that carrot top? Stay away from the monkeys!

[01:06:06] Stay away from them. They've reported multiple sightings of wild monkeys within the city. This is on a Facebook post. Of course. The department says at least one of those monkeys spotted Wednesday. Oh, he looks serious and angry this little guy. And he's got, they have like elf ears.

[01:06:24] Their ears come to points. Yeah. This one was spotted at a Popeye's chicken. He was later identified as a Reese's Makay Makah monkey, a species that is native to Asia and can become aggressive when fed. The police department received two additional reports of wild monkey sightings on Tuesday

[01:06:44] who said the officials are unsure whether the sightings involve the same species of monkeys. The local control officers and police have dispatched to the locations of all the calls and they've not been able to locate them. Cops are warning people don't try to capture the monkeys

[01:07:00] and to report sightings to the commissioners wildlife. Feeding wild monkeys, just keep this in mind if you get a hankering to feed them. Second degree misdemeanor punishable by 60 days in jail and a fine up to $500. It would be funny if you were in jail

[01:07:20] and then the person in the cell next to you said, what did you do to get in here? And you had to admit that you fed a monkey. That was bad ass. If you feed them it can add, it increases the likelihood of attacks,

[01:07:36] injuries in the transmission of disease. Reese's monkeys are one of the two wild species along with the ververt monkey, monkeys, ververt, they are reproducing in Florida. The core population of the Reese's-McCausven spotted in Florida and Central Florida around the Silver River, listen to this,

[01:07:54] how did we get these monkeys to start with? A boat operator released six of the monkeys in the 1930s, in the 30s, they've made it a hundred years to attract tourists. The monkeys have had negative impacts on the Sunshine States in prior years.

[01:08:10] In the 70s, they destroyed red mangroves leading to massive vegetation loss and shoreline erosion. They've also tested positive for herpes B. So don't be kissing them. It's a rare viral infection that can lead to severe brain damage or death if not treated quickly. Florida, I know you're busy,

[01:08:32] I know you got problems. But that's just a little, that's a helpful hamster tip. Don't feed the monkey, run. Matter of fact, don't go up to it to Popeyes. If you've been out drinking, you decided to go get some Popeyes,

[01:08:44] and you're like, oh my God, there's a cute little monkey. No, get back in your car. Get back in your car. Oh, God. All right. Yes. I got my lyrics in. This marks another year in my life I did not attend Burning Man,

[01:09:03] which every time I see that, I'm like, who would agree to this? Who's doing it? Well, I don't do well in the desert. It's too hot. I'm too, too fair-skinned. I don't need more skin cancers growing on me. There's so many other reasons. Well, there's a million reasons.

[01:09:25] But these activists tried to block the road in and they caused all this bullshit. They're burners of the world. Unite, abolish capitalism. General strike for climate. The group says the protest was designed to draw attention to capitalism's inability to address climate, climate's ecological breakdown.

[01:09:43] It was meant as a protest against the popularization of Burning Man among affluent people who do not live the stated values of Burning Man, resulting in accommodation of the event. Modification of the event. Sorry. But things turned ugly when the state officers turned up

[01:10:00] and rammed through the protesters wielding a gun. They wrecked their whole little camp. They had cardboard boxes and things that they were out in the street. I mean, again, protest all you want. But don't block the road to Burning Man. Just be on the road.

[01:10:16] Wave. Yeah, wave. People honk. Give up friendship bracelets that say abolish capitalism. Everybody will roll their window down and go, I'm not free friendship. Everybody's like, hi, guys. And then maybe they'll say, yeah, I'll trade you. Here's one that says I love the chief. You love football?

[01:10:37] They drove directly the cops road. Nevada Rangers like Texas Rangers. Like they drove directly until blockades set up by climate protesters on the road. They don't like the private jets and they don't like single use plastic. Call my friend Amy. She hates plastic too.

[01:10:56] She really hates all plastic. If she comes to this house with her husband, Drew, I sometimes have had to hide a water bottle. Because I'm like, I don't want her to yell at me. I can't but I can't.

[01:11:08] But if it's a Fiji one, I just won't throw it out. I mean, I try to pay attention, but I'm not whatever. You get the point. Here's just a little tipster for the children. Lana Del Rey is going on a limited tour. Yeah, it's just a little plug.

[01:11:23] I don't really... No, she's hitting the road. Live Nation is doing it. Oh, it kicks off in Franklin, Tennessee. I won't be attending, but you know, a lot of the youngsters are listening and they like her. No, I don't like the sad children.

[01:11:40] It's not that I don't like them. It's just the music. It's very... I don't know. Not all the children are like that. Well, Florence and the machine is not a child, but Maggie Rogers is very young. And she's all like, there's just... It's a little more...

[01:11:58] Lana, they say is a genius and all that. And I think it's fine to have on on a Sunday morning, but am I going to attend it in person? That's where I would have to start doing cocaine. That would be my first time. You like the Tay-Tay children.

[01:12:10] The Tay-Tay children, but Taylor songs are upbeat for the most part. They're not ethereal. Unless she's mad. I agree! Careful. Which leads us to our last segment. Lyrics. This one's a good one. I never knew what this meant,

[01:12:31] and as I read it, I was really singing a lot of the wrong words. This is a song by America. The band from the 70s called Tin Man. Now, what did any of this mean? Sometimes like when things are real and people give...

[01:12:48] I'm not even going to try to say it. Give the gift of gab between themselves. Some are quick to take the bait and it awaits them on the shelves. But Oz... I thought he was saying, I. Never. But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man.

[01:13:05] I'm like, oh, the Wizard of Oz? This is too hard! I saw parts of the Wizard of Oz that he didn't already have and cause never was the reason for the evening or the tropic of Sir Gala had. Which I thought he was saying Sir Gala Hand

[01:13:21] and I didn't know who that was and I didn't care to look it up. He's a knight. So please believe in me when I'm spinning round, round, round, round, smoking glass, stain bright colors, imagine going down, down, down, down, soap, sud, green like bubbles. I have no idea

[01:13:41] and I did not care. I wrote around singing it. I never did give nothing to the Tin Man. I never did give nothing to... then I read it. So, we just sang anything. And now here's the Taylor one. This just sounds like a mean email.

[01:14:03] I like it. I like it. This really does. That's what her things sound like. Angry little emails to exes. Which is fine. Whatever the kids like. I like some of them. It's 3 a.m. and I'm still awake. I bet you're just fine.

[01:14:20] Fast asleep in your city that's better than mine and the girl in your bed has fine pedigree and I'll bet your friends tell her she's better than me. Huh? Well, I tried to fit in with your upper crest circles.

[01:14:30] Yeah, they let me sit in the back when we were in love. Oh, they sit around talking about the meaning of life and the book that just saved them that I hadn't heard of. But now we're done and it's over. I bet you couldn't believe

[01:14:44] when you realize I'm harder to forget than I was to leave. And I bet you think about me. Yeah. Who did she date that was so fancy? You grew up in a silver spoon gated community, glamorous, shy, bright, shiny, bright Beverly Hills. I was raised on a farm.

[01:15:00] No, it wasn't a mansion. Just living room dancing and kitchen table bills. Well, I saw the picture of the house she grew up in and that ain't no tiny house. I was like, oh, I'm going to be a big house.

[01:15:10] I was like, oh, I'm going to be a big house. I was like, oh, I'm going to be a big house. That ain't no tiny house. Oh, it's about Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh, it's about Jake Gyllenhaal? Oh, wow. I'm just saying she was bad.

[01:15:26] This just sounds like a pissed off email you would write kind of half drunk and then go, did I send that? Shit. Well, whatever. I meant it whether I was drunk or not. I meant it. There you go. So just remember, I never did give nothing

[01:15:40] to the 10 man that he didn't already have because there was never was a reason for the evening or the Tropic of Sir Gala had. Wow. Yep. Somebody thought that that all worked really well and it did. We all sang it. I never did give the 10 man. All right.

[01:16:02] Last things, termites, and then I have to go. Fantasy football. Fantasy football? I did great. I got Jaylen Hertz. I did great. What league are you in now? Well, that was the draft for the children's league. Do I think I'll win? Well, I'm going to try.

[01:16:20] I'm going to teach them that gambling is hard and sometimes it's sad. Suffer your disappointment. Suffer early. Get used to it. The trucker had his back. There's more and then there's going to be fall t-shirts. A new t-shirt. They'll be ready next week. They're going on tour too.

[01:16:38] That's always helpful. And the pubcast. I don't even know where to rate that. Wherever you listen to a pubcast, how do you do that? I know how to like someone. The termites are good about commenting to each other. And here's the shows. Boise, Reno, Hershey, Pitford, Cleveland,

[01:17:00] Eau Claire, Madison, Chicago, Richmond, Charlotte, Des Moines, Kansas City, Virginia Beach, and D.C. Fort Worth, Houston, St. Louis, Denver, the villages. Well, I hope everything in Florida is still fine. Exactly. But it will be by November. Cutler Bay floor, Eugene, Portland, Seattle.

[01:17:24] Now, there's going to be a lot more shows and now it's very soon for all of the spring, well maybe even into the summer. There are so many things in book. The booking is getting so crazy

[01:17:34] because if you want to get the good spots on the good night, I mean they're like, do you have any interest in being an off? Would you like to be in Long Beach in January of 2026? It's our first Saturday opening. Fine, put me in.

[01:17:54] If I'm alive, I'll go. The Canadians are going to be happy. I hope. I'm trying very hard. Canada I'm doing everything I can to make that happen. It's not my fault. I know it's not my fault. I try, I put out things, emails.

[01:18:16] I'm going to start sending weird lyrics to my agent. Oz never did give nothing to the tin man. How come I'm not working and win a peg? And then it won't make any sense. Here you go, Heidi. You figure that out. Puzzle me back. Puzzle me back.

[01:18:36] Alright, night night, Turbines.