Episode 147: Tracking Hurriquakes, Capturing Chupacabra, & An Eiffel Tower Hangover

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. Turmites! We have a hurraquake! You know, I know it's cut that's what they're all saying on Twitter.

[00:00:34] I don't know who made up the name hurraquake. Hurraquake. Because it was an earthquake. 5.0 is nothing to not write home about either. I was out in LA for some fives and you definitely feel them

[00:00:49] in the middle of the quote, hurricane. But it's really a tropical storm. But if you go on Twitter and look at Dodger Stadium, there's now a moat outside of it. But then I have friends. I've been

[00:00:57] all my little weather reporters. My boots on the ground in LA. My friend, Lareen, Bob and Clark, Palm Springs, but they're not in Palm Springs. Everybody's sending little weather reports and Bronson and my agent Heidi. There's just no rain, there's no flooding in some parts and then

[00:01:16] other parts. It's crazy, crazy town. Like you can't get to Palm Springs because now the road is washed out. And I mean, I'm not in charge of science. I think we've established that many, many episodes

[00:01:28] ago on this podcast. I don't know anything. I'm more like, I would just live like a pioneer person and pray to the gods for rain and that would be the end of it. But when we are making up new

[00:01:39] names for weather, I mean, this is seemingly getting serious and I'm not an alarmist, but hurricanes in Las Vegas. I mean, I used to do a joke about wherever I went, they would say, oh,

[00:01:52] we never have weather like this. Seriously, we've never had a hurricane in Omaha. This is so weird that you're here for it because then it would fuck up ticket sales and nobody wants to come

[00:01:59] out of it again. But when I said hurricane in Omaha, that was the joke. Well, now these things are actually happening. Like I don't know who's in charge of fixing this, but you're sucking all of

[00:02:11] Canada's on fire and then Hawaii with the wind and the thing. And I'm so sick of hearing about conspiracy shit. I can't. I love conspiracies if we're talking about fun ones. Bigfoot. Like Nesbos, it's not even a conspiracy. It's a theory. It's a maybe. But the conspiracy theories

[00:02:31] that look, I am not the biggest Oprah fan you could refer to special my third special. I don't remember which one I do the Oprah jokes. I think Oprah has narcissistic tendencies. However, she has

[00:02:44] seemed to have done some good for some people. I don't know. But she also owns like half of Hawaii. And then people are saying that Oh, she's in on it with the people to start the fire to

[00:02:52] buy the land. The conspiracy things. Yeah, I don't have time for it. I just I can't. I see the headline on whatever Twitter and I just move on like it's so I love the can't have it both ways. These are

[00:03:04] people that always say the post office sucks again. Make can't do nothing. And then the next sentence they go, you know what the government did? And then some crazy fucking thing that would take everyone in on it. Everybody cohesive and organized and you're the most well oil

[00:03:19] machine. But yet on the other hand, you say government in either either inept or they're super, super awesome. And I'm going to go with a little inept. I'm just saying, I mean, the post office

[00:03:31] ladies aren't I love the ladies at my post office if the whole world ran like the post office. Yeah, there they're no bullshit. If you don't have your ship filled outright, they yell at you

[00:03:41] tell you go back as one should. Anyway, so, you know, hope everybody's okay in California. My one of my cousins Joey's out there. So he's fine. Bert Kreischer, who I do love had a very

[00:04:01] funny video of him and his wife and daughters told his wife and daughter told them that shit was going to be crazy dad. We got to put down all the furniture so he's walking around

[00:04:09] without a shirt on in his backyard going, Yeah, okay. You know, I'm that it's just me against them and I'm saying and he's got a green egg open and he's making a brisket. He's like, yeah,

[00:04:19] so far nothing's flown away. They said everything was going to journey to a projectile. So his whole backyard nothing is happening except Bert in a green making a brisket in a green egg.

[00:04:32] Um, so happy her a quake. I mean, it's just and then we're where the where like Missouri is way overdue for a giant earthquake. The new Madrid fault if you've never read about that it made the

[00:04:45] missus it changed of course the Mississippi that was way way overdue. So what we probably would think we were overdue we're not getting the earthquakes. And now there's some storm in

[00:04:55] the Gulf coming up the weather channel though I got to say this could have been one of their all time most exciting days because they had I mean, I know it's not good excitement but

[00:05:06] nerds getting fired up about whether there's nothing more exciting to watch. I could watch the weather channel all day. I've turned into my dad and I'm like turn on Jim Cantoria my friends where are my friends and they got an earthquake. They've got an earthquake. They've got flooding

[00:05:23] Palm Springs has cut off. I mean whoever thought that flooding that I wonder about insurances anymore like I know farmers pulled out of Florida parts of Florida where they're

[00:05:32] like we're done. We're just not offering in it you you guys are on your own and I get it. I mean I kind of get it like I wouldn't want to insure it but those bastards took all of our money forever

[00:05:44] and then they go yeah we're done well shit right then I do I get my money back if I didn't have a payout. By the way I'm drinking out of a Bucky's glass. I applied for the job at Bucky's.

[00:05:58] Yeah if you guys want to apply I think you have a few more days it's on financebuzz.com well I don't really I don't even need them I mean I wouldn't I'd let them I'll give the money to

[00:06:09] charity if it's a thousand bucks if they give it to me I'll give it to charity they can pick Bucky's can pick which one or maybe we just buy some more Bucky outfits so more Bucky's can

[00:06:18] be in other Bucky's and make people happy. Great. Masked jobs. I'd love to be. I'm sure that mascot outfit is not cheap um yeah you have to agree to go to Bucky's and get all these snacks

[00:06:30] and taste them so if you guys want to try go to financebuzz.com we'll put it in the schnotes sign yourself up the winner will be announced I think on September 18th. Cool. Yeah I hope

[00:06:43] there's not a timeline on when I would have to do that because I might be on the road I didn't even look I'm close enough though I can make it happen. Sometimes you don't like details.

[00:06:53] Details schmetals no I don't like details and I forgot to say last week uh taking care of a little business uh I have the card but then it got mixed up it was chaos backstage at Cape Cod in

[00:07:05] a good way chaos um every night I go to bed and I thought here's a sense I never thought as a 10 year old in a bunk bed in Missouri that I would then say out loud later in my life I think my nephews ate Melissa Etheridge's donuts.

[00:07:24] It's just so crazy how shit works itself out but anyway backstage at Cape Cod somebody left me the most awesome golf balls which I have they're the really good ones the Caliways with the stripes

[00:07:34] that you line up for the putt now I don't do that but I'm fine if someone does as long as that doesn't take eight hours those lines were an extra thing to help the super anal oh now my lines are

[00:07:49] lined up and then oh fuck if there were no lines but I do like them they're very pretty and they gave me uh bacon bandages which I put all over my dad he has bacon strips all over him which will now

[00:07:58] match the emos bacon pizza in their freezer if you've never seen a mid-west idea of heart healthy please go on my instagram and look at the videos of my parents refrigerator I'll put

[00:08:08] one up on twitter and then they got me the whole cocaine hippo coffee mug yeah it was great so I forgot to say shout out for that and this weekend uh this last week I was with the parenterls so fine I mean

[00:08:26] yeah I don't know it's fine what it has what breathing whatever whatever has happened I won't go into details but I can tell you that after about noon for whatever reason my dad's voice has now it changes from his real voice to a 1930s crime

[00:08:47] boss that's what he sounds like I don't know why you guys aren't thinking the way I'm thinking on this one uh here's something gotta do uh it's what you're gonna do you're gonna bring the car

[00:08:55] around here and then I want to go out here and then uh yeah whatever your mother says just don't listen to it just don't listen to it I'm like who in a room with like Lucky Luciano or something

[00:09:05] what what the fuck just happened here boy yeah I kind of like it though yeah I kind of like imitating it and I said well what if you drive yourself to the hospital to go for your therapy

[00:09:18] and then what if you can't totally get out of the car well that's a great thing Kathleen I'll be at the hospital so I'll just call 911 or something hey you got a guy out in the park

[00:09:26] gonna have to get out of the car and then they gotta come out there because I'm sitting right there it couldn't be more appropriate I know and then every time I do it I think why didn't I just say

[00:09:35] I like set up softballs for me it doesn't even know they're softballs but then it comes back at me I'm like okay stupid question anyway moving on I did bring back from Missouri though a little

[00:09:45] Branson barbecue sauce nice yeah poor Branson you know yeah you guys have probably that was Silver Dollar City is down there and that's like if you're a Midwest person mostly Missouri or Oklahoma

[00:09:59] people probably know it was like a throwback theme park they had a few rides but it was mostly like leather making butter making like outdated so this this is called Ozark recipe barbecue sauce Silver Dollar City Branson Missouri is one of the most popular vacation destinations in the

[00:10:20] country. Travel back to the simplicity of the 1800s America and enjoy the best Branson entertainment but now the last time I was in Branson the biggest headliner and I'm not joking

[00:10:32] was Elvis's quote cousin and then I forgot to google it google it put Elvis's cousin in Branson Missouri and there was an Asian family that did a wonderful show and he just died but COVID killed it

[00:10:49] Branson made a really good run at Nashville for like a decade and everybody was going to Branson and Kenny Rogers and all the country people and then Nashville got the bump from the guard brooks

[00:11:00] times and then yeah Jerry Presley Jerry Presley what does Jerry do he sings does he it's a tribute to Elvis Jerry sings his songs yeah he rips off all his shit what I don't think Elvis would care

[00:11:16] if Jerry went to Branson where's he performing 15 piece orchestra holy crap wonderful where is he performing he opens with aloha all from the Elvis aloha special now what I will say about

[00:11:33] Branson is the golf is on the upswing big time because Johnny Morris the guy who owns the Bass Pro Shops made these awesome courses up there that are phenomenal but it's hard to get to you

[00:11:42] you got to fly to Springfield Missouri I flew there one time and there were these guys from Philadelphia or somewhere on the east coast and they're like where the fuck are we and I'm like

[00:11:52] um you're not far from Branson you got about an hour in that van just get in that van you're going to keep going up higher and higher up and deal no you're there um I got a book of

[00:12:03] how much does it cost to see Jerry Presley in Branson 40 and 58 cents discounts are available now discounts are available now I bet they are 58 cents what a odd what's the theater it is uh Branson is where the world's giant giant fake chicken

[00:12:24] I took a video under in the breakfast is delicious where's he at the God in country theater he's at the God in country theater right next to the patriot and liberty one I'm imagining

[00:12:36] I feel bad for Branson they had a good run and then it fizzled out in Silver dollars city Dollywood is kind of a lot of that too but Dollywood's more I would help Branson do some pr

[00:12:48] but they got to focus on the golf he's between fud ruckers fud he's between fud ruckers and the celebrity car museum and the celebrity car museum oh my lord well Branson got trounced by

[00:13:00] Nashville because country music got so popular because of who Garth and then uh they got their little asses kicked and it's a lot easier to get to Nashville than Branson level fun too

[00:13:10] well Branson had a day it needs a shot in the arm who wants to invest who wants to invest in Brandon let's taste our barbecue sauce shall we silver dollar city I do have fun memories and

[00:13:20] there's a lake there called Table Rock Great Fishing Lake wow that eyes rolled well anywhere south of st. Louis or south of Kansas City they get a little sugary um they like them

[00:13:38] it's good it'll be great on a hamburger it's just sweet you gotta let put it on and let the hamburger burn it off just so you know I give it a B yeah if you move to Branson I'm not going

[00:13:52] if you if I moved to Branson I don't have anybody around the board so I was telling me you don't think I could find somebody in Branson I'm sure Jerry's got a guy I'm gonna fucking call Jerry

[00:14:02] Presley and go Jerry one of those 15 peak orchestra people you're employing I don't know where they're living um yeah they're a condo for them um we brought these back from Cape Cod Syracuse style

[00:14:16] potato chips a dish of that made in New York since 1946 Syracuse style I turn my brother's I turn my brother backstage it's the one thing my nephews didn't eat they ate everything else they're 20 somethings they can eat whatever they want they don't game

[00:14:32] oh really good nice is that a specific style of potato chip I've never heard of Syracuse style that's the termites termites yes or no um I don't know their grandpa will taro started one

[00:14:49] of the greatest potato chips by slicing New York fresh potatoes very thin as small and then handcuffed at the end in the upstate New York Jack Terrell anytime anywhere they're great

[00:15:02] the ads on the back are very 50s-y um yeah way to go Syracuse good for you I like them now how crazy is this this is one of the craziest things I've ever gotten

[00:15:17] hit the post office post office box so this lady's from Spain see well yeah I'm not sorry Italy Italy sorry Milan I'm thinking of Spain because of the World Cup dear Miss Madigan thanks so much for your podcast I can't believe someone in Italy is listening

[00:15:34] unless it's American and Italy because I seem kind of a America I'm American centric I don't feel like I'm global the Canadians don't count it's global there are northern neighbors they're the northern neighbors no that's my jokes from there they're

[00:15:54] our attic they're not really separate they're part of this house whether they want to be or not yeah thanks so much for your podcast Madge hero I just discovered you let in the last year

[00:16:03] I'm in Milan Italy if you visit I'd love to show you the city last night and the and then she said a hat for me and a hat for you there of Italy's oldest baseball team Milano 1946 has a big red M

[00:16:16] if you're listening and I'm also going to pretend it's answer Madigan but I do like Italy by the way if you google this I have always found this so bizarre me and my mom when I took her

[00:16:29] to Italy if you've never seen the story about us in Paris first you can go on Comedy Central as I can't believe this isn't happening um we went to Italy after that because she went over to the

[00:16:40] Vatican and we were at something like Street Fair or whatever marketplace and then this giant thing of tennis shoes and they had Madigan tennis shoes yeah they said Madigan unlike some Irish person came right on over here and found some hot little Italian and got with some Italian

[00:17:00] you can look at them online just put in Madigan's tennis shoes yeah um anyway warm regards from Milan Italy first named star yeah yeah it was very nice yeah I really don't think of

[00:17:17] international people because most of the stuff I'm talking about is in the States you know I'm not like a global um I mean I don't know some of it's about other countries but mostly

[00:17:28] very middle America America um um all right so let's move on let's oh and what uh Italy is not getting the buggies they don't have room for our buckies um what am I drinking this is from

[00:17:45] statewide this is hazy pale ale this is from forehands brewing in st. Louis Missouri yes very yes where I've spent a lot of time um lately um yes uh okay that's all the that's all the

[00:18:00] business let's go to the queen news shall we it's a busy busy weekend busy let's start out with Tate Tate yeah where's she at right behind me so Tate wanted to go to her friend's wedding

[00:18:19] I'm still confused if it was on Long Island or Jersey Shore they are not the same and the press keeps saying it like it's they're interchangeable they're not one is a Jersey Shore in New Jersey

[00:18:30] and then the other is Long Island New York it was in Long Island okay well the today show for the record completely boggled that 10 not just once I don't even know how you would do

[00:18:41] that when you're in New York you should know that but whatever because I'm like well where were they at the Jersey Shore like I know those spots I don't know Long Island as well but I know enough of it

[00:18:51] anyway it doesn't matter Tate wants to go to her friend's wedding the rehearsal dinner shows up it creates bedlam they close all these streets now I don't know if I'm Tate

[00:19:03] should you get to be a normal person yes you say yes I say no because here's the thing you're Tate I'm sorry it's like Elvis or whatever you're gonna create bedlam I would have gone in

[00:19:16] in a catering truck yes yes I would have put I would have dressed up and snuck in because what about the people I don't know I mean I'm not a she's a youngster she should be able to run around but

[00:19:29] the reality is you can't you can't without creating and then it becomes that about what about the bride I mean it's all about who's Annie McDowell's daughter married Tate's BFF producer guy

[00:19:44] Jack somebody um I don't know she should be able to do those things but at this level of fame you kind of those Tate kids I mean they're crazy the Swifties are out there going we want Taylor we want Taylor I would be terrified if I was Taylor

[00:20:02] the termites no the termites are cool it's that all the termites I've ever met can we buy you a drink sure great thanks you guys want a picture yes please no problem and

[00:20:13] I mean that's it then if they're like from somewhere that I you know we have a conversation and then I go okay I'm gonna go over my side of the bar now they're like bye it's it's very

[00:20:23] like Ron White used to go he would go Maddie I'm the most famous person in this building now when we leave this building I don't have that kind of fame I got enough fame that a guy walking

[00:20:35] down the street just go hey man and keep walking or hey Tater just a little shout out then he knows that you know it's about comedy um I don't know but here's another part of Tate this is where

[00:20:50] if I it was Tate she has the right to lose her mind okay apparent to range Taylor Swift's stalker arrested for entering the stars building again well I don't know if it's the same man

[00:21:05] die hard Taylor Swift fans fork over thousands of dollars to see the global superstar but a parent delusional stalker an apparent delusional stalker got into our Tribeca building for free hey Ashley Arbor 43 was arrested Friday after authority said he wrongly entered the superstars

[00:21:22] big apple dicks this is not the first time in that building that someone has gotten in so if I was Tate well I would go down and I'd say I am not paying my HOA dues this month

[00:21:38] fuck you the only reason I moved into this building most likely is you promised excellent security and I got the psycho fans that are running around the hallway it's going where's Taylor time

[00:21:49] where's Taylor time no no no no no no no and then I would go and I'm not paying them for at least six months oh yeah I would throw that hammer down this is absolutely ridiculous I mean don't you have

[00:22:02] security to get into this building god I can't get in a serious XM radio in New York without 50 passes and codes and up a human comes and gets me I have an escort like I gotta go through the and then the thing

[00:22:15] in the yeah and if they don't come down and get me that I'm not going up like it's a thing um he was charged on two counts of trespassing a smiling arbor that's his last name sporting a

[00:22:29] goatee glasses and a royal blue shirt was more than happy to speak to the post following his arraignment in the Manhattan criminal court on Saturday yeah he gave an interview right after

[00:22:40] he was arraigned um I was disappointed he said of not fighting Swift I love her I want to marry her I want her to be be my anchor someone that will have me stay put I've never had someone kept that

[00:22:54] kept me grounded and the latest string of terrifying incidents with obsessed fans that Swift has occurred in her media career this guy he grew up in Michigan claims he took a gray home bus from Atlanta to see the quote anti-hero singer and proclaimed his

[00:23:09] love for her bizarrely boasting that he had a prior relationship with the shake it off superstar he allegedly rang the bell until someone opened the door no how hard is this

[00:23:27] Christ you can't get in the back door of zany's a comedy club without some cook coming out and going well who said you could get in here at least they ask a question and I'm like I'm the headliner

[00:23:38] oh sorry Kathleen and then they let me in it's me Kathleen you know I'm hi it's me Dorf told me I could come at this time and I get a burger oh I've gotten yeah I mean I've said the other then so somebody let him in

[00:23:57] the uninvited uninvited visitor navigated a long hallway two doors besides the elevator and then went into one where a woman was inside asking what he was doing when the topic of Swift came up

[00:24:06] the savvy resident instructed him to go outside ring the bell and wait for someone to let him in how smart is this lady oh if you're a Swiftie we have a separate way for you to do it could

[00:24:16] you just go back outside and he did it wow he followed the instructions and when he did the NYPD was waiting for him he was released I'm sure Taylor's happy to hear that

[00:24:28] he wants to bury her he somehow he got enough money to get there that's all you need to know right like you can go oh he's crazy but he lives in uh you know upper peninsula in

[00:24:39] Michigan it'd be super hard to get here no not if you're determined uh-uh he's due back in court in October ask why he wanted to be with Taylor he gushed because she is the most nurturing like

[00:24:53] she is me except she is a woman she's truly the one that understands me he continued I know she knows I don't mean any harm I'd never hit a woman whoa why are we starting right out of the gate

[00:25:03] with that like to say I would never harm you I wasn't thinking hitting me no I thought you meant break my heart or you know you didn't forget to pick up groceries I would out harm her absolutely

[00:25:16] no absolutely not he said that he had not seen Taylor in concert I've not been that lucky I'm of sound mind I was a little crazier when I was younger okay he said he has no plans to return

[00:25:28] visit a return visit no no they told me to stay away from her place the homeless man said he would probably stay in the area rummage through the garbage for food slash underwear he added of a

[00:25:40] very determined fellow sometimes to my judgment you got to go for it when it comes to love because I don't want to live in regret that's the worst you're just sitting there thinking I could have

[00:25:50] done this I should have done this it's a black hole his parting words were I love you Taylor I want to spend the rest of my life with you making you happy making you laugh and making

[00:26:00] up for the words making up for what's the word foolish behavior I expelled you when I expelled when I was 17 he thinks you know who he should go with Britney yes he should go with

[00:26:14] Britney Spears because he seems nice he says he wants to make you laugh and he wants to make you happy the bizarre incident comes on the heels of hundreds of swifties swarming the songs

[00:26:28] just on Friday she left a restaurant on Long Island Beach in New Jersey the pop star reportedly dined in with a less pals for you know what's crazy is they they said the a list pals

[00:26:37] and I'm just getting so old I don't even know who half of the people are I knew a couple and the rest I was like I wouldn't know them if they dropped off an amazon package at my front

[00:26:47] door I'd be like hi who are you Chad Channing or what's his name I don't know his name Channing Tatum Tatum O'Neill Chanham Chanham okay I got it Long Island Beach is off the Jersey

[00:27:03] Shore Long Island Beach oh okay is off the Jersey Shore Long Beach Island Long Beach Island that's why they keep oh that's why they're saying Long Island they're may yeah okay well then maybe I

[00:27:16] owe apology to the today show maybe they said it right and I didn't hear it right because I hadn't had coffee yet and baby cat was screaming at me because I've been going to like yeah when

[00:27:28] people say cats don't miss you and they don't have emotions it's just not true I was just yelled at by two cats for feral cats that were happened to be feral on the couch very upset moving on to other

[00:27:45] queen news Stevie oh Kansas City how excited were you this is so crazy Stevie next header hair done Saturday night at a salon down in Westport which is the fun downtown if you I can't explain it but if you're

[00:28:06] Kansas City person you know exactly what I'm talking about um uh was that where you play no I don't play right there no it's like if they have Kansas City is like as famous for fountains a lot

[00:28:17] of people don't know that don't roll your eyes paddle because we worked very hard in Missouri to get those fountains working and they're really pretty and you know it's a thing seriously

[00:28:33] no we roll your eyes I just got an offer to go to Winnipeg yeah really yeah well I'm gonna try to work out a Canadian little thing here but don't you be rolling your eyes at Kansas City's

[00:28:43] fountains what is Winnipeg don't you say we're not international I've been you're not well you are international what comes to the goddamn paperwork yeah I'm calling Justin Trudeau go you know

[00:28:55] you didn't make it work for Taylor and you know what you're on the verge of making it not work for me Justin now you may not know who I am that's fine but I'm gonna send you my Amazon special

[00:29:05] this is what they said this is so crazy they posted the girls in the salon here's the details of Thursday night so she must have a show Friday uh oh was it a dream it feels like a dream to say some

[00:29:24] incredible people of grace the presence at our space since we opened in 1975 would be an under statement but Stevie frickin next spent three hours after hours with us last night getting her hair done by her stylist of almost 30 years um are you kidding we're still pinching ourselves

[00:29:39] and wiping our tears I don't think I would cry the post goes on to say that Nick's in our Arizona based no because don't cry like that's gonna freak the person out maybe they didn't do it for her

[00:29:51] right um blended on color so I don't know what they did for three hours it sounds like color once you get into that kind of time they said that Nick's in her uh stylist finished up she asked

[00:30:04] if there's anything she could sign in the salon we weren't even considering asking because I was obviously just going to save everything she touched that's a perfect midwest person answer don't ask her to sign anything we'll just keep everything she touches and we'll say she will

[00:30:17] put it in that then carry okay I'll do it store employees pulled a salon sign from the wall and Nick spent her precious time making making us our new sign that you'll see as soon as you walk in

[00:30:28] she told us 75 is one of the best years it's the years you joined Fleetwood Mac what an experience it's also how old she is um she was lovely her team was lovely and we are still reeling the gracious

[00:30:40] they graciously gave us tickets to the show and can't wait to sing our um we can't wait to sing our hearts out wow wow wow wow wow we love you Stevie that's great yeah that's fun um

[00:30:53] yeah I think that's all that yeah so there's a little Stevie bopping and doing something nice let me she did get her hair done too but go for her she signed everything made everybody happy

[00:31:02] I don't know what she did yes yes speaking of yes so my friend Heidi loves Winona Judd and remember how I said now if you're a musician everybody's gonna have to live up to the

[00:31:13] Tay-Tay thing like right now most comedians we all do about an hour and a half the show could go it could go to but nobody's gone fuck you I'm doing three and then we all gotta go

[00:31:25] shit are we supposed to do three hours like I mean college is not the same as music but um I said now that Taylor I think we talked about it on on the the podcast that it now

[00:31:35] that Taylor's done that the next thing you know Garth's gonna go out and it's gonna be every album he's ever because they're gonna feel like well Winona is doing the eras Winona

[00:31:47] well you know who did it first first Cher where's queen Cher and I saw it in Vegas it was called the decades but because Cher is old and I am old I appreciated that she kept her decade wrapped

[00:31:59] up in 22 minutes thank you or last probably 11 because she did the 60s 70s 80s 90s 2000s 2010 and then boom up to whenever I saw her 2020 or 19 before COVID yeah um so she's but whatever um

[00:32:16] so Winona Judd is doing um her first two albums one night two albums so it's starting where yeah you gotta play the whole album yeah you don't think Ticketmaster is gonna be like

[00:32:36] the Tay-Tay one when Winona no but the Winona fans will be happy they can go see her sing the first two albums I know some of them is that one tell me why why that one is that her is that it

[00:32:52] what yeah she sings that song what's the other one the other song that I would know oh come on on the first two albums what's her hits oh okay can I talk about Taylor? I will you could google that since you're just sitting there I'm working very hard

[00:33:13] um that's all my queen news but what a week well well and I forgot I'm going to see Dolly I'm going Saturday Philadelphia Mississippi never even heard of it where exactly where

[00:33:30] I had to ask the google machine how do I get to the Philadelphia Mississippi well I know how to get there it's two hours from Jackson Mississippi no one else on earth could ever hurt me did you

[00:33:45] be that way you do exactly all right well that's fun I saw the light I saw the light never heard it Dolly won't sing any of that I'm serious what's Dolly gonna sing what's Dolly gonna sing

[00:33:59] I have no idea oh but that was my other queen news well first of all her imagination library expanded even more I don't have the details but I'll get them but if you want to go online you can listen

[00:34:08] to Dolly Parton sing let it be the Beatles version with Paul McCartney when I find myself in times of trouble mother may recombes to me speaking words of wisdom let it be it's phenomenal I don't care what Dolly sings I'm just good I'm going

[00:34:31] secret little secret secret little people help me get um a ticket yeah so we're moving on now I'm gonna have a full review I will send you videos I don't know if you're allowed to take them

[00:34:45] it's a very small theater it's 500 uh seats your seat Dolly and a 500 yeah she has a three o'clock show I didn't ask for that one because I think that's gonna be three yeah three three o'clock

[00:34:57] yeah well uh geez she's she's not 25 and I think some of our fans are older and if you're not a big drinker three's fine you know go to Cracker Bell get out there get get your ass to Cracker

[00:35:10] Bell at noon get on over it's a full day you can still be in bed by seven um uh all right we're moving on update positive update congratulations to my friend uh Manny Matney of the Murdoch murder

[00:35:26] podcast she her book she has a first book and it's all about the thing it's called Blood on Their Hands Murder Corruption and the fall of the Murdoch dynasty it will release this November

[00:35:36] a book good for her yep and I can't wait to read it so congrats Mandy that's very exciting I could tell she was excited from her instagram post because she was posting I don't bug people when

[00:35:45] they're in the middle of all that stuff but I'll send her a shooter note at some point say congratulations is fantastic um she's super excited good I don't think she ever imagined all this she's from Kansas City where what the fountains are battles Jesus next week I'm gonna

[00:36:01] read a whole thing on the fountains and bore you to tears nobody knows anything about your fountains Pete Thomas how many people have you where there are Kansas City is a city of fountains hmm be honest that's not a known thing barbecue barbecue is a known thing yeah

[00:36:16] well the chiefs prays don't go by the people in the Midwest no yeah people in the Midwest yeah update Britney now if you've been listening to this podcast for a long time you know I was in

[00:36:33] favor of freeing Britney and my argument to free Britney was that I have friends that are much crazier that are roaming around completely untethered and no one's watching them she's 40 something she could do she was doing two shows a night if you can do that you're not completely

[00:36:53] bonkers yet you can keep it together to do that shit well we freed Britney it's not going well I don't want to laugh because I do believe she's mentally ill which is a serious thing yes but

[00:37:09] I'll just read what's happened Britney and Sam Ashgari have split their have split after their 14 month marriage and then I think now there was supposedly his big prenup but did this guy just come in now he's he's already threatening the blackmailer saying I've got

[00:37:23] all this shit I'm gonna expose if you don't give me more money like how can she trust anybody and then the kids don't want to see her because I think you know she's cuckoo for

[00:37:31] Cocoa Puffs and it's too bad there and now she's pushing out videos of some guy licking her leg not not even like in a sexual way look more like a dog would lick your leg

[00:37:44] where you'd go knock it off like a man a man yeah I had her how I don't know rolling around a floor somewhere I don't know where these floors are I don't know what Britney Spears does

[00:37:56] doesn't do free time um yeah so it's getting weirder the videos are getting weirder you know you don't want to see this end badly um he's gonna get divorced she she's putting she bought a new stripper pole told her fans put it on instagram it oh I know

[00:38:22] she does wear her bikinis a lot on social media but maybe I would too if I looked like that yeah I don't know yeah um it's just it's a train wreck yes I could see why people would say you

[00:38:35] should not free Britney right but she should be free she should just not feel we're going to she should be free but not be able to go on social media I think this is what's keeping

[00:38:49] her connected on some level the social media if you take that away then she's just zelda fits Gerald bat spinning around in a room I mean you gotta let him do something I'd let her do shows again

[00:39:00] that seemed to keep her the most focused but then she said she doesn't want to because everybody was stealing the money which I also understand that if I was on stage for all that time and I

[00:39:08] don't even move and she's dancing and sweating and then you get off and go how much money we make and they go nothing your dad took it what no right update this is a precarious subject

[00:39:24] okay there's a video after all the bullshit of kid rock enjoying a bud light now there's a video there's another thing on a conspiracy that's on twitter that says it was it's photoshopped no no no but he's downtown in Nashville full disclosure I went to Iraq and Afghanistan

[00:39:47] on a very long tour with kid rock and I enjoyed his company and I liked him a lot I agreed and then Lewis and him we get into some political debates and really they don't see

[00:40:00] I know it's weird that Lewis black and kid rock me did not see I own every subject but kicks Brooks was there and he we all had political debates and they were very civil

[00:40:13] and there was a lot I agreed with his kid rock I didn't see this other side um I don't know I would think he likes guns it's fine you know if you want to shoot but

[00:40:25] but shooting the bud light cans like it just seems like a bit of a branding thing for him like this is my act and this is what I do but the thing is you're not really an actor and

[00:40:35] then he forgets continuity you can't shoot up all the bud light cans and then three weeks later be drinking a bud light but maybe it is photoshopped I don't know I'm gonna ask him

[00:40:45] I see him all the time at the golf course okay yeah um and he's very friendly yeah so I don't really understand what's going on um um he's a cult yeah it's it's some bar he was watching

[00:41:02] colt for yeah he was watching a show I don't know if it was his bar um yeah probably but his bar did not have bud light anymore his bar I think has had bud light the whole time I don't think anybody really went through with

[00:41:19] at least that's what I've seen on posts but I also don't even really care nobody cares um if you do or you don't um yeah it doesn't I read it but now I don't see it um it's just an update

[00:41:34] it's just an update you all can decide whatever you want um oh so is it okay then are we back I mean I didn't quit drinking bud light no but I like a lot of

[00:41:47] light beers there you go beer is for everyone beer is for everyone all beers are for everyone holy shit this is so great an eight-year-old boy made a remarkable this remarkable discovery

[00:42:04] in Germany a rare roman coin dating from the time of emperor marco or really marcus or really is the boy named yarn find the coin by playing in a sandbox at an after school club in the city of

[00:42:16] bremen an after school club and after what kind of after school clubs throws you in sandboxes well he's only eight after school clubs in the past well here's what I can tell you I've

[00:42:30] played in a thousand sandboxes in Missouri and I didn't find anything but catch it okay this guy this little guy good for him 1800 year old coin it's a pretty good shape too it's only got one

[00:42:42] nick in it like a tiny little half moon thing is off of it um it was subsequently identified as a roman silver denarius more than 1800 years old and local archaeologist uda hail said to find

[00:42:55] is very unusual he made the discovery in summer of 2022 but it was only announced last week with the details revealed at a press conference on friday afternoon the roman empire was established in

[00:43:05] the year 27 bc historians don't really agree on when the empire came to end but many believe the formal end of western roman empire took place at 476 uh ad the coin was forged during the

[00:43:20] reign of emperor marcus aurelius he was a good guy I read I watched that whole emperor thing on netflix and um he ruled over the roman empire from the 161 to 180 the area of germany where the coin

[00:43:32] was discovered is not part of the empire which is why it's so unusual that's weird exactly how it may its way to bremen is still unknown it's not clear where the sand in the sandbox had

[00:43:42] originated but said the coin could have ended up in the sand during mining however roman coins were also spread beyond the borders of the empire as a result of trade and his loot it may have even

[00:43:52] reached bremen as a souvenir like somebody else brought it back according it's a very special fine there've only been two comparable coin finds dating to the period of the roman empire in the city of bremen one discovered in the 1930s during a settlement excavations and reek them

[00:44:07] another in the second half of the century another one in the second half of the century this little boy said he's happy the coin will be displayed where in the bremen state museum for art and cultural history yes the coin goes to the fach museum

[00:44:21] then now he's nine years old it can stay there and i can look at it anytime and others can too exactly good good little guy there we go yes good good thing um moving on the news

[00:44:35] oh my god this story i'm not even gonna say her name because then it just perpetuates what she wants i'm not gonna do that especially as a fly person who flies every week let's just call her the crazy

[00:44:51] plain lady the one who screamed that the person in the seat wasn't real yeah um um she is rebranding herself she's a texas marketing if anybody didn't hear who she is i'm not gonna say

[00:45:06] her name but she's 38 years old uh she's a texas texas marketing executive behind the viral that motherfucker is not real plain meltdown posted a new selfie on social media and is an on

[00:45:17] in an ongoing attempt to rebrand her tarnished image as crazy plain lady well i'm gonna keep try to keep that one going crazy because of what you did to other people right i don't care

[00:45:26] what you're doing your own time if you want to be britney and roll around and have people like your legs and post it like go ahead you know they have it um whatever her name is 30 years old looks cozy and casual while wearing a wide smile long

[00:45:46] flowing hair and bare feet selfie in a posty and a selfie posted on sunday which admiring fans have already showered with thousands of likes she wrote one moment doesn't define you but it can define your purpose when she wrote hashtag self-love empowerment motivation stay tuned

[00:46:05] no lady my friend carrot top yeah his real name is to god that's not a secret no i like to call him scott top his dad is pop top he was on that flight because he sent me a video yeah and he sent

[00:46:24] me he's like look at this shit he and he was trying to go either back to vegas or tour lando he goes back and forth and um he's like uh you know damn it now we're all they all had to get off

[00:46:35] the plane it's a three hour thing yeah it's absolutely ridiculous what the lady should this is what i would have said i am so sorry because what i'm guessing what probably happened

[00:46:48] i ate too much of an edible and i i went crazy very sorry stop it there no no now she's gonna try to make you know a thing out of it where she's the victim the gland out glammed out shot

[00:47:01] and positive vibes have already made a difference other uh somebody wrote women a woman of the year 2023 emoji smiley face other users were shocked at the difference between crazy plane behavior and the pleasant looking image of a marketing executive on her kitchen floor

[00:47:20] that's another question why are you sitting on the floor why is everyone on the floor telling you right now this isn't the same lady from the plane from the plane the wannabe motivational influencers are gathered nearly 15 000 likes on her post

[00:47:33] previous posts have just got a few hundred likes but this won't last this is where how does this lady not know this she's an age where you should know this this is fleeting yes we're already

[00:47:44] gone be i'm only reading the story because of what you did when you cook make a plane go back to the gate you have now just fucked over 200 other people and she doesn't care well she did take

[00:47:55] responsibility i must say and she did apologize but then it should stop there and you should go away right but she's trying to make it out to be the notorious american and because

[00:48:07] of your t's a new website recently by posting two minute video mea culpa in which she calls herself the crazy plane lady um under the embedded video she shares the word stay tuned in a stark white

[00:48:19] font set against black background it's not immediately what uh project she's preparing to unveil her end video ended join me on my journey of promoting positive and mental health and standing up against cyberbullying no you you did something and people reacted

[00:48:36] and now you want to call that bullying right do it don't do nothing then no one bully if it's not bullying if they call you out on shit you did that's a reaction oh my god

[00:48:49] i just can't the amount of i've been cancelled can't stop examine your behavior you oh my god she said she's made a few attempts to explain her bizarre content a conduct because it went out of

[00:49:03] the plane too she went outside in the airport there's clips of all that she's selling the cops at her dad's a cop and fuck you she's not leaving the airport oh yeah it goes on and on and on she's

[00:49:14] complained that her life has blown up since the incident aboard the plane and urged the public not to quote judge her too late yeah i judge you in this moment if you cannot explain it

[00:49:28] it just tell me what happened everybody on earth that's that's over 21 if you said i ate a pot cookie and i don't even know everybody would go yeah i've done that yeah i get it

[00:49:42] yeah she goes no one knows anyone no one knows anyone else's story fine then tell it tell me the story and no one should judge no one knows it it's like she was warned she was warned um

[00:49:57] she was consulting attorney she's consulting an attorney claimed that so much of the story was about her was an accurate well we're only going off the videos we see are those not real right but she declined to elaborate she marched from the plane to prepare you to depart

[00:50:13] to us and declared she was getting off the flight attendant because that motherfucker back there is not real wow yeah she had a $1,900 i don't even know what this purse is go go go yard go yard

[00:50:28] tote i think i think i think i'm oversensitive to it because i've been on way too many planes we have to go back to the gate because someone has lost their minds yes and if you're a scared

[00:50:40] flyer and you lost your mind i do understand that i've been on a plane with an autistic kid that unraveled i get it well okay then we're going back but this now you're gonna i'm being charged

[00:50:50] another beside the belly hop at that you're a selfish asshole poor carrot top i'd be so mad especially if it's in the dallas airport which really isn't super modern like there's some airports i

[00:51:08] don't mind getting suckered vegas because i'm gonna hit one of those wheel of orchards i know at some time i keep seeing those videos oh atlanta is doable um yes yeah but the dallas dude i don't

[00:51:24] i never really get very comfortable there um she said uh my life has been blown up it's frightening you did this right things go viral and everything changes this is what she said while she's standing

[00:51:37] outside of her 1.6 million dollar home in dallas wait what uh-huh she's rich too yeah yeah yeah no yeah it also was really mean to people that are afraid to fly you don't need some lady yell

[00:51:53] and you can sit on this plane and you can die with them or not i'm not going to right she's very pretty i'll give her that well we won't we won't judge you if you tell us the truth right

[00:52:07] she flew into a rage after this dispute between her and a relative whom she uh that's her relative whom she accused of sealing her air pods i knew it was so as well as at least

[00:52:18] started about air pods i did hear that but that's the that's her relative the the reptile well then that's your fault you shouldn't bring relatives that are reptiles on planes and

[00:52:29] then get frightened of them when you're sitting next um how does this sound for a fun night out i would totally do this and i think it's wonderful in japan known as a super aging society

[00:52:48] dementia is predicted to affect one in five people by 2025 in circus such circumstances an innovative social experience experiment has caught the attention of japan and the world it's called this this would be fantastic it's called a restaurant of mistaken orders

[00:53:09] it's a restaurant where orders and deliveries sometimes go astray yes we've come to a place where the waiters and waitresses all have some degree of cognitive impairment what they have dementia

[00:53:25] wow that's or beginnings of it or the middle yeah but it's kind of give them will give them your order and then whatever they bring you're gonna eat it's like a surprise dinner i like it the impetus

[00:53:39] is starting this pop-up restaurant comes from an encounter between the creator shiro oguni in a group of and a group home where people with dimension live like everybody else my awareness of dementia first tended towards negative images of people who were radically forgetting and aimlessly

[00:53:54] wandering about but actually they can cook clean do laundry go shopping and do normal things for themselves close up they might go off a little course now and then but um uh then this guy goes

[00:54:06] into he ordered what he ordered and then something else came and he goes so what it's a mistake well fine given that kind of tolerance the dining scene can becomes relaxed and delightful yeah because

[00:54:17] it's like a pop-up surprise you order a hamburger they bring spaghetti oh i'm won't even thinking about spaghetti sounds great perfect and you're not responsible if you order something fattening

[00:54:27] what are you supposed to do she brought it i gotta eat it i love a burger oh my god one older woman shows her guests to a table then sits down with them oh wow that's great another serves hot coffee

[00:54:42] with a straw yet another older woman struggles to twist a large pepper mill not entirely sure the pepper will fall where it's wanted everybody at the table pitches in with cries of we did it

[00:54:51] and they all join the laughter yeah the restaurant is not about whether orders are executed incorrectly or not the important thing is the interaction with the people who have dementia yeah uh that's great he was worried about criticism because he such as don't treat

[00:55:09] dementia like a carnival side show don't make a laughing stock of but they're not um yeah and then there's pictures of the servers they're adorable one lady said i'm still capable this gave me confidence the negative image of dementia was replaced by fun positive one calling

[00:55:24] the uh dementia miss who's it completely different than who's that's great yeah really great yeah i have a lot of friends with parents who have dementia maybe we could start the restaurant where are you gonna

[00:55:41] open it like i have my dad go table to table and ask if they liked it why'd you take your dinner should i fire these people or should i keep them what do you think i mean some of them are

[00:55:53] kind of with it uh all right we're moving on now this should you would think if you've seen my netflix special bothering jesus you would think this is about my first lead story but i'm half

[00:56:07] convinced of this story yeah and this is in a community conspiracy or nothing airplane debris found in madagascar confirmed as part of missing flight malaysia flight 370 my obsession with that thing does never go away but here's my problem if you watched the documentary that came

[00:56:24] out a while back we talked about it on here um it was terrible and there's this guy blaine gibson who i do not trust and i do not believe a lot of what the man says but he discovered this

[00:56:39] debris so apparently only blaine gibson he's the it's just coincidental that he's walking around beaches in all over the globe and pieces of this airplane float he finds them just him stop it yeah i mean debris discovered by blaine gibson on an sereca beach in madagascar has been

[00:57:01] varied verified as belonging to the missing malaysian airline flight 777 uh let me keep that's the real tail number that disappeared on march 8 2014 the piece was previously thought to be marine debris but aerospace engineer richard godfrey richard godfrey has determined it's part of the plane's nose

[00:57:22] wheel door in a newly released study he stated that the item had strong resemblance to the debris found by a fisherman in madagascar in 2022 the broken o panel was founded a similar location on this

[00:57:35] beach oh my god yeah i mean maybe it is all floating up on this beach flight 370 took off from quala lampur international airport we know the history of this uh the last communication godfrey says that 41 pieces of plane have been confirmed but very few of the main

[00:57:52] sections of the aircraft have been located none of the passengers have been found well where how about their stuff right did a shoe i guess you wouldn't know was theirs oh a picture white spread theory is focused on the theory that the pilot is here amad

[00:58:14] shah intentionally crashed a plane but no convincing motives have ever been found well to me he crashed a plane because i don't know how many pilots at home have fight flight simulators maybe a lot

[00:58:25] but he had the whole thing already simulated on that thing exactly at least that's what they said so now this is not funny but it makes me laugh because these are kind of pieces of knowledge i should never have in my head

[00:58:40] all right here's i'm gonna i'm gonna do a count to five like a game show and i'm gonna let you try out of cruise ships in the world that places the cruise ships go what two

[00:58:56] places do you think are the most wanted to go to by old people and old i mean over 70 alaska ding i'm gonna let the termites they probably all guess that one too because everybody

[00:59:15] wants to quote see alaska before they die now the number two place and i only know this because i have comedians that do cruise do comedy on cruise ships what is it it's actually

[00:59:26] even an older crowd than alaska bermuda bermuda i don't know no what do you want to see the bermuda triangle well something there it's not in Europe no no no termites anybody you can tell me on the youtube comments if you thought of it

[00:59:57] the Panama canal stop and what's i will not say his full name but because he may not want me to but my friend jim he for years and years he has does comedy other places but he does a lot of cruise ship work

[01:00:17] and he enjoys most of it but i always thought if jim ever snapped it would be on a pan mal canal that cruise ships go through there and guess who no because you know why we don't think of it

[01:00:28] because you never hear about it but to my grandpa's generation not my grandpa was born in 1904 it was a architectural engineering wonder of the world and old guys i don't think the women

[01:00:43] i never heard my grandma say i can't wait to get down to the band mal canal never but my grandpa was like boy i'd like to see that before i died they couldn't figure out how it got done and my grandpa

[01:00:53] was a construction guy so he was super into they never went they didn't make it but now we want to go see the eye in Vegas so now whenever i think of the Panama canal i just think of my

[01:01:05] comedian friends to take the gig performing in front of people that are probably 90 they're eating it every show they do is horrible it's just torture um yeah because these people or 90 they want like bob hope right they don't want my friend jim they don't want me

[01:01:23] well right now there's a huge uh there's a huge backlog of 200 ships that are stuck trying to enter the Panama canal as they wait weeks amid slow traffic due to drought delays set to wipe 200 million off profits and profits and costs bike in us grocery and parcel

[01:01:39] presses it's not gonna be good no we don't think about it but all of these goods are going through the Panama canal all the time once again i don't understand why the globe doesn't have giant pipes

[01:01:51] under the ground to connect water we have too much water and problem springs hey let's send that down to the Panama it's a huge pipe but all of the men in my family are pipe fitters see how this works

[01:02:06] out maybe they might consider that crony is them if i said this is what the government's going to do as the president and girls won't happen to be my uncles are all pipe fitters um but yeah there's a

[01:02:17] drought they have million these vessels carrying millions of dollars with the goods are locked in a traffic jam they're waiting weeks i wonder if i guess they probably told the cruise ships

[01:02:25] just turn around jacks ross we don't have time for your bullshit right now i know you got i know you got a thousand fifteen hundred old people on there that really can't wait to see this because

[01:02:35] jim was saying it's so narrow when you go through like you could barely drop something between you and the the edge of the canal and i said is it pretty pretty and he's like

[01:02:45] well it parts you like go through jungle type stuff yeah i don't it's not for i know it was for my grandpa p is before his age they loved it the number of transits daily through the canal

[01:02:58] have been capped at 32 by water authorities in a bid to conserve water panamol has set to lose 200 million in revenue from delays and it could keep a spike in us grocery and parcel prices as extra fees

[01:03:08] are hiked onto the shipping cost so when my mom starts hollering about grocery prices i'm going to say mom blame mother nature because the panama canal you may not be thinking when you're at

[01:03:20] your grocery store in in missouri this is all because of panama canal some of the ships are backed up for more than 20 days the canal uses three times as much water as new york city on a

[01:03:30] daily basis and needs rainfall to replace it but the rainy season is yet to arrive in panama and the canal's going through its driest spell in more than a century everything with thing we

[01:03:39] have with weather now too is they go this is once in a century but now they're saying it's this has never even occurred we went from storm of the decade to storm of the last 50 years to

[01:03:51] storm of the century and we've just even now we're just making up names for shit we can't even describe yeah we don't need to get into the rest of this story it gets very boring about shipping and

[01:04:03] shit but there you go so if your grocery store things go up blame panama do we have a chupacabra we have one on camera really i believe in chupacabras i don't think they're devils i don't think they're demon i think they're just some sort of wild

[01:04:27] now they're not as beefy as a wolf they're more they're thinner like a coyote but every time we find a dead skull they always go out the coyote that had mange they always blame it on mange always

[01:04:41] it seems like every time we look at the news it has leveled up and gotten even crazier than the last time we glance its way this story is just one of many about chupacabra sightings

[01:04:49] with the adorable tearjerker kids movie chupa on netflix many of us thought we'd be quite fine with helping a cute little fuzzball with wings there's a child's movie called chupa as in chupacabra

[01:05:04] but what if they arrived in our backyard without fur like there's a picture of this thing i do not believe that is a skull of a coyote i also asked my friend kevin ease of veterinarian

[01:05:17] yeah and its paws don't look like a coyote it looks like a cat and a bear oh yeah if you did their paws together um as reported by k en s five tina calig spotted a very strange looking creature

[01:05:34] feasting on some berries in her backyard bush recently and was so shocked at what she saw that it sent her scurrying for our camera the creature in questions it looks to be hairless

[01:05:44] with large ears a tough to fur on top of its tail she had no idea what the creature should be so she took to social media the social media neighborhood app next door to post the photos to see what

[01:05:56] her neighbors thought oh my god yeah i don't know if i'd do that um the posts reached her intendants recipients and then they went above and beyond trying to figure out what type of the

[01:06:07] animal the creature could be of course several chimed in it was a chupacabra a mythical creature from mexico i mean i won't i don't know if we're gonna say all coyotes or chupacabra well then

[01:06:17] fine yeah but i've seen videos that don't look fake no i don't know maybe they're fake chupacabra and folklore is a creature that sometimes walks on its hind legs but other times walks on all fours it has red glowing eyes seen in the dark large fangs and claws

[01:06:32] and a human or ape like body the creature is furlous probably has scales possibly has scales and sharp spines going along sharp spines going along its spine like a prehistoric lizard yeah most of the sightings presumed to be most have occurred in the southwestern united states

[01:06:50] portrico in lat america the chupacabra was to blame for the unexplained deaths of cattle goats and other livestock for a really long time what's really going on over the years many people of photographs hairless animals as a chupacabra generally a sound educational fact based answers

[01:07:07] surface this time will be no divert they say it's a sarcastic mange gross mm-hmm it's canine scabies mites burl beneath the skin it's cause severe itching yeah it's likely a starving coyote suffering suffering from mange who is not able to hunt

[01:07:30] while eating berries in a residential backyard the large ears and characteristics of the coyote are present in this quote chupacabra termines do we have any proof let's do our own searching

[01:07:45] um this okay i don't know all right i have time right i don't know what the fuck is going on at the eiffel tower but it was a bad week for security there let's put it that way once again

[01:08:05] like the art museums i don't now i have i've been to the eiffel tower but it's been a hundred years all i remember is walking up and buying a ticket and then me and my cousin mary

[01:08:16] i we walked up some steps and got on an elevator but that was way before terrorism and all that i don't know in my 20s yeah i don't think i ever went after that it was a hundred years ago clearly

[01:08:31] um so this week a man is arrested after jumping off the eiffel tower with a parachute wait what were you nobody thought that was weird no hey wow that guy's backpack is enormous wow you would think just because of terrorism things they'd be like nay nay

[01:08:54] nay nay on the backpack gaze no no no especially when you're a backpack unless you have a tiny pair shoot like the ones in the fireworks i shoot off which is it gonna stop you because those are paper

[01:09:04] how i just don't even understand you're gonna let that person you get on an elevator at some point you're gonna let that freak if i saw him i'd get off then go no no i'm not a paranoid

[01:09:17] super freak but i don't want to be on the eiffel tower the day it blows up no i'm good um yeah this is what do you hear what else happened oh god everybody in security we would have a giant meeting

[01:09:31] and i may have to fire a few police in paris have arrested a man for jumping off the eiffel with a parachute on thursday a man scaled a pillar of the iconic landmark early local time

[01:09:42] right but we shouldn't we have 24 hour security yeah it's the eiffel tower the towers manage my company s e t e society exploitation the tour eiffel that's pretty good right so the man was detected

[01:10:01] in less than a minute by security after entering the sites attempt by the tower's intervention brigade to deter him proved unsuccessful and he went ahead with his jump anyway he landed on

[01:10:11] the roof of a nearby sports center before being arrested by cops they lodged a complaint this type of irresponsible and action which endangers those who are working under the structure the tower was slightly delayed nobbing on thursday on thursday morning due to the incident the incident is latest

[01:10:27] in a series of security incidents over the past week at the site two american men were discovered after spending a drunken night up the eiffel tower the monument they they passed out

[01:10:36] and fell asleep in the eiffel tower two drunks nope the two men who had sunday evening tickets for paris's famous iron tower were allegedly trapped there due to their excessive alcohol consumption

[01:10:51] i think there's a bar up there i can't remember google is there a bar at the top of the eiffel tower on saturday the tower was evacuated for several hours over a bomb threat the three

[01:11:02] floors of the tower as well as the courtyard where evacuated authorities assessed the threat i mean it's a champagne bar oh how fridge i remember something being up there um yeah i mean you've got drunks passing out in there

[01:11:25] people climbing with parachutes and these two drunks they didn't do anything bad they just pass out but imagine like i've been drunk enough before when you wake up and it takes a minute

[01:11:36] to clear your mind you're like where do we go that's not what i do and then you're like oh sweet i'm in my bed no problems right what if you wake up to get champagne drunk too so now you know

[01:11:45] your head hurts because of all the sugar um hey where are we at what a shit we're still in the eiffel tower fuck no god do you think we can walk down an act like this didn't happen can we become

[01:12:02] wait if we wait till all the tours get up here and then we'll just leave after that um speaking of people jumping off crap this is crazy guest of the ritzy mandarin oriental hotel baffled by

[01:12:18] split and half jumper i've been in the mandarin for a drink because it's famous yeah i've never stayed there but i went in for a drink just to see the bar it's always one fun for one a guy jumped from the roof

[01:12:37] guest and saffers at the swing a mandarin ordo or baffled by the identity of the mystery jumper who caused a grizzly scene by leaping to death from the roof in his pajamas what i'm

[01:12:48] still shocked said louis said louisa gassab of peckery france who was staying in the five five star hotel in columbus circle if you want to go cheaper there's a hotel in columbus circle called six i think it's called stills called six wonderful rooms not nearly the morning anyway

[01:13:06] he was on the ground covered in a sheet i saw part of him in the ground i don't know what i would i woke up this morning i asked the hotel staff to tell me what happened would they wouldn't

[01:13:12] give me information the man who does not appear to have been staying in the building or living in its residence is okay he entered the building through a freight elevator and plunged

[01:13:24] rudge roughly 750 feet to the ground but here's the problem he hit so when you go in the Mandarin there's a glass uh like awning entrance well he hit the hotel's entrance glass awning

[01:13:39] on his way down splitting his body in half from impact an arm was found across the street near this is why louis keeps louis my friend lives in midtown right and he's like it's getting

[01:13:52] crazy up here kathleen i don't know what i'm supposed to do i don't even crazy it's like i mean in the 70s it was like you know fun crazy like hey we're all crazy but now it's like

[01:14:02] crazy crazy so an arm was i wish louis had been out taking a walk when he found an arm i know by friday the rain and wash the blood away um here so what is the lesson termites

[01:14:16] if you're gonna jump from a building make sure there's nothing below you and then you hit flat just suicide tips by kathleen suicide tips i mean i'm just saying what if your parents want to have an open casket too dark too dark yep all right um

[01:14:34] um the area was cordoned off with a velvet rope from the hotel where rooms with such a park views are more than 1195 dollars a night it's a five foot ten 200 pound man they still don't know who he is

[01:14:48] also can i ask the hotel security how are random people off the street in pajamas getting in our freight elevators welcome to the monday morning meeting here's the question by a show of hands

[01:15:02] how many people can explain what's on the board the ritzy hotel is located on the top 19 floors of the 55 story ducha bank center tower where celebrities including jay z and tom brady and

[01:15:18] other a-listers own residences well i'm not even a big security person in general i know no at my shows i don't know who's a fan or security backstage i just hi to everybody

[01:15:32] how are you doing the next thing you know there's a lady with a positive inner person all works out fine if you're me it's not working out fine if you're these other people no

[01:15:41] all right one more and then we're gonna do our lyric section that i forgot last week travelers are boycotting southwest airlines over boarding they're not gonna boycott here's the thing myself i fly it a lot especially st louis and ashall it's direct

[01:16:00] whoops and it only takes 42 minutes i'll take southwest anywhere under three hours after that i have to be on it three hours you would oh well when louis anderson was sin was sick i went to

[01:16:11] vegas further than that that's just a god i always would say to louis just remember how much i loved you i flew four hours on southwest exactly no i mean it's fine it is what it is but i

[01:16:22] prefer delta but whatever but people on southwest aren't going to boycott anything the reason we're taking southwest is because it's cheap and efficient and it has a lot of one-way direct flights where other people would not well they're changing their boarding things so for you southwesters

[01:16:39] heads up this is what's gonna happen it may be harder for you to get an earlier boarding position on your next south west flight thanks to changes thanks to a change rolled out today

[01:16:49] all right the carrier is limiting the number of early bird check-in spots that are available for some of its trips southwest so and so said beginning august 15th early bird check-in will be subject to availability on certain flights routes or days and that will mean early bird

[01:17:02] check-in is unavailable for some customers customers looking to purchase it i don't like it when rental car companies or airlines say subject to availability exactly because that means we're gonna do whatever we want and you little chickens are just gonna have to go along with

[01:17:20] their bullshit you're gonna be renting a pickup truck oh don't even get me started about the rental car situation i i like a vis i like being a wizard i try to support national

[01:17:33] too because their headquarters in st louis national in st louis has no cars zero i don't know what happened ever and then you know you say like i wanted a lower car so my mom and

[01:17:45] dad could get in it and they literally gave me like a rubicon truck thing and and and then they but here's what the rental car things do they always go wood says or similar well that could be

[01:17:57] a fucking dog sled if we're talking about or similar they're both moving forward they will both get me to my destination but you can't say that if i rented a Honda Civic and you gave me

[01:18:11] a Rubicon truck that i by the way need a special set of steps to get in at five foot one i'm like throwing myself in the vehicle it's too high yeah i just i wish there was a rental car place

[01:18:23] where you could say the exact kind of car you want and then that's there when i get there because i'm doing this for work it's not for fun right this is and it happens every week

[01:18:34] anyway i've done a lot of complaining i'm sorry termites it's fun complaining it's educational complaining um news of their limitations of early bird check and hasn't gone well with many loyal southwest travelers i would say i'm loyal i i qualified for a list again

[01:18:50] not even sure i want to but i did in fact some customers started questioning their commitment to the carrier the early bird checking is honestly one of the biggest reasons i fly southwest and i've never flown with anyone else one traveler posted hopefully the flights

[01:19:05] this hopefully the flights this is taken away from aren't the ones i will take in the future might have to bite the bullet and try somewhere else wow there's another that's a lot of people

[01:19:15] really mad i don't know if you cancel early bird check and there's no reason to keep using southwest so disappointing to get rid of early bird checking you are no longer a low budget carrier

[01:19:28] they're really not southwest prices are not no because i'm flying those two all of yahoos i call my parents around on them sometimes and uh but the good well i won't get into all that but with

[01:19:41] it's not cheap it's not as cheap as it used to be no if the want to get away fairs are great if you're like in college or retired and you can go at any time you don't care if you leave at

[01:19:49] midnight or whatever but if you actually are trying to do this for work you can't do all that yeah um southwest used to care a little bit about us little people but not anymore wow southwest

[01:20:02] is face chris i don't know i mean your other option is to buy the full fair thing you know and that guarantees you a boarding spot so buy the a group but then again this guy's right you're not

[01:20:17] in the low budget carrier i buy them if they go directly and i don't feel like um connecting which usually i don't mind if it's through atlanta right you love Atlanta you have friends in the

[01:20:30] Atlanta i have friends in every delta club in atlanta they're always excited to see me it's it's like it's like a little homecoming exactly yeah they're like where you been little

[01:20:41] one and they come out and hug me oh yeah um okay so this is a fun closing segment well then i have a little well before i do the lyrics here's what i'll tell you

[01:20:52] you the new trucker head is available on the website there's not many left no but i don't i'm going to reorder that one people like it are you okay well i don't know um

[01:21:11] go on amazon again tomorrow i know it's been a while but go back on there on my special and read it for me the ratings really matter i guess like it just like it right yeah whatever you

[01:21:24] yeah and here's the shows uh boyz rena hersey pittsburgh cleven oh clear madison chicago which i'm gonna say next week oh tell them now come on you have the big meeting with your uncle

[01:21:38] i did add a big meeting we had a family meeting about this that's how serious it is uh-huh i had to get approval from the elders yeah well they're called tier one their tier one the

[01:21:48] old like in family pictures tier one is everybody that's the oldest tier two i'm in tier two and then there's tier three and two four and my uncle realized he's at that particular event the madigan master

[01:21:59] is the golf tournament he was the only guy in tier two one he's very upset about that um we know we had to have a family meeting um but the chicago cubs yeah have asked me to throw out

[01:22:10] the first pitch the day of my show at the chicago theater yes i think that's a lovely invitation but as a saint louis cardinal fan you also have to go is everyone going to hate me if i do this

[01:22:23] and i thought if anybody would say no you're crossing enemy lines it would be the older crew and uh they all vote yes and and i would say chicago especially because the cardinals absolutely

[01:22:35] suck i can't even i wouldn't even know where to start with the cardinals i mean obviously pitching but after that i don't know my answer go hire azi smith yes he's available nicest man on the planet i he probably wouldn't want to do it but if he's available

[01:22:53] and then just put azi and charge her everything it'll be fine everything will be fine um but in my 20s at my 30s i had the most fun at chicago cup games outside of saint louis

[01:23:05] and i had anywhere else so i said yes great yeah i did ask michael where anything representing the cardinals on my body they're discouraging that uh um they're playing the pirates yeah yeah so my

[01:23:25] friend bill crawford but the pirates aren't that good this year either no they're better than the cardinals the guys are good though i've had the most fun at wrinklyfield and in downtown chicago

[01:23:37] because st louis is not as big as chicago going to chicago initially was kind of like going to hong kong for people from st louis because you just couldn't believe the size of the city

[01:23:47] and everything about it and then i started doing the comedy clubs downtown back in the day i've never had it at a chicago cup fan even when they come to st louis the cubs fans come down there's never any bullshit no fighting it's all fun fun drinky drinky

[01:24:01] midwest fine no problems i cannot say the same of blues blackhawks games those can get a little nutty because it's inside and everybody's cold and it's a different vibe summer vibe way different

[01:24:14] yeah they are serious hockey fans the blues and the black ops whereas the baseball it's a fun afternoon now like go to wrinkly sit in the bleachers i've done it on and i've had a wonderful

[01:24:26] time also i kind of do it in honor of bob newhart the old comedian because he's a cubs fan my friend dax said come i have a lot a lot a lot of cub fan friends so that'll be super fun and i'm supposed

[01:24:38] to say for the seventh inning thing to sing the song we gotta practice that well i don't know if the time wise because i gotta get over to the hoop job i'm gonna try the pitching clock is

[01:24:49] going to help all things because now these games aren't 11 hours long i don't want to let that get so out of hand anyway that's september 23rd then richman then charlotte then demoy then kansas

[01:24:58] city virginia beach washington dc fort worth houston st louis denber the villages i can't wait to go back that crowd was so good yeah cutler bay which is technically miami ish eugen oregon portland

[01:25:16] organs yeah that's the end of the all the way to the end of the year now it's time for lyrics this is just proving how dumb my generation was and someone should have said something i don't know who

[01:25:29] not me somebody we need somebody from the east coast with a little milder to speak up for our generation and go what are we doing here's a song i so i'm 16 years old driving around in a used

[01:25:42] camaro that i bought for 1200 dollars singing the song uh toto was a band for the children out there there was poppy's are a very long time ago this is a song africa oh god but i'm singing these songs

[01:25:58] like it means something to me right i hear the drums echoing tonight but she the here's the lyrics but she only hears the whispers of some quiet conversation she's coming in 1230 flight the moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation i'm gonna go to the chorus

[01:26:18] i bless the rains down in africa so i'm driving around my car going i bless the rain down africa rain i guess i don't know what any of it means it's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

[01:26:33] there's nothing more than a hundred men could ever do and then i just talk about but but i've never been africa no i don't know where it rains or when it rains or i have any idea that's how

[01:26:44] we were just go alongers yeah the wild dogs cry out in the night oh god yeah as they grow wrestlers for some solitary company i know that i must do what's right as sure as kilimanjaro

[01:26:58] rises like olympus above the serengeti i seek to cure what's deep inside frightened of the thing that i've become that's a that's lyrics i sang before i went to work at steward anderson's cattle

[01:27:09] company in a gravel parking lot never thought about it huh wonder what any of that means i don't know who cares good tune here's some here now here is compared to terrick terr Taylor

[01:27:23] swiss lyrics this is why i like the children because they go you better sing something that applies to me okay because if you don't i'm not gonna come to your show i've never read these

[01:27:36] this is the song karma and i only know i only know that because she goes karma as a cat and then i think why did these cats show up at this house i don't know it's karma this is the lyrics you're talking

[01:27:51] shit for the hell of it addicted to betrayal but you're relevant you're terrified to look down because if you dare you'll see the glare of everyone you burn just to get there it's coming

[01:28:02] back around and i keep my side of the street clean you wouldn't know what i mean because karma is my boyfriend karma is a god karma is the breeze in my hair on weekends karma's relaxing thought

[01:28:13] are you envious that for you it's not sweet honey karma is a cat like sweet honey karma is a cat put it in my lap because it loves me feeling like a goddamn acrobat me and karma vibe like that

[01:28:30] you just made taylor a rapper i want to i know i want to write a rap song that goes i want to take a nap with my cat on my lap somebody can work on that i'm not a rapper i like it because i

[01:28:47] always want to take a nap with the cats and then i have to get up and then they get pissed all right termites sorry if i complained too much this episode well the lady on the plane

[01:29:03] no i'm not you're not a victim no you're not a victim of cyber bullying just come on say what the hell happened everyone has a camera if you haven't melt down in public you're gonna need to address

[01:29:14] it sorry it's not like the old days where nobody had a camera and then you could act like you didn't do that and go that was some other lady named tiffany what is oh is that karma is a cat that wasn't

[01:29:29] very good at all um i wrapped it it's better as a wrap she should know that all right i did that right did she did tey tey ever make it out of the party she has to go to europe

[01:29:45] her european tour starting medonna canceled her national show i wasn't gonna go anyway but i did notice him i took note are we going to see tey tey in europe tey tey in europe no i'm not going

[01:29:57] to see tey tey in europe no too far too expensive although some american lady wrote down what it would cost to go somewhere in america and then she got a ticket for her and her kid and it was actually

[01:30:11] cheaper to fly over there and get a ticket the tickets aren't as expensive over there i don't know why she sells all it sells them all out yes they should raise the prices then right all right

[01:30:24] turn right summer is ending sad times i know but it's not really over yet and it's still 102 degrees so sure shit doesn't feel like it's ending um very hot in the midwest and the south

[01:30:37] very hot and then no rain inside oh nothing to cool it down just to heat it right back up what are you doing this weekend besides dolly go look up jerry pressley um Elvis's cousin

[01:30:52] um i will tell you when i return oh yes i'm not sure all he knows i'm going i'm very excited i'm busy yeah but i was just i was invited i was invited um so there you have it all right

[01:31:10] to rise summer's almost over so um i just made me laugh because i got a text from the dermatologist spent too much time in the summer need to get those brown spots gone and i'm like look at their

[01:31:25] marketing that is so great because i actually just did think i gotta get out of this sun it actually matched my thought i didn't think about going in and doing anything about it of

[01:31:33] course not why would i do that um just let it all do this thing anyway jerry that's it i will see you guys out on the road i will see you down the road and um stay cool if you're one

[01:31:46] of the hot states if you're in a rainy state stay out do not drive through flood water what's the saying turn around don't drown people don't realize turn around don't drown

[01:31:59] you didn't get that saying in canada well you're on fire canada's on fire so what are you gonna do there those fires are out of control yellow knife the whole city 20 000 people have been told to

[01:32:09] evacuate where are they supposed to go edmonton right and then where to a holiday in or you know this is people don't ever think about the logistics of panicked evacuations it sucks what

[01:32:22] about your pets you know no i'm naked i'm positive for the people i'm positive for the people i'm negative for the people who have set up all these plans okay because they should tell them all i don't

[01:32:37] really didn't know what the canadians have done or not but i know that very quickly two 20 000 people were told to evacuate right and these fires just come up too quickly thanks again for my hat it's a yes crazy yeah all right that's it