Episode 135: Taylor Swift’s Philanthropy, Defending Opossums, & The Curse of The Titanic

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. Termites! Episode 135! So what a crazy week. So many things. First of all though, there's two new queens in the house.

[00:00:40] The first one is a Mini Anita Baker. Now that was sent to me from Sharon in Red Yard, Michigan. She said she couldn't find a big one. That's okay though because in real life, Anita is my height.

[00:00:56] She is the size. That's her actual size. And we're gonna keep her right here on the desk. And then she is, she's a pocket pal. Pocket Anita. And that's how I met her.

[00:01:08] Very tiny person on an airplane. She couldn't get her luggage up. I didn't even know who she was. And I'm like, hey you want some help? Because I'm as short as you but I think two of us.

[00:01:17] And then I picked up my end of her suitcase and I'm like, dear god lady what are you traveling with? Gold bars? Are you going on the Titanic after this? What is in here?

[00:01:27] And she just laughed and anyway, then we just talked the whole flight and drank screwdriver and ate Fritos. Yeah, because I asked for Fritos. She goes, you know I haven't thought about a Frito in forever.

[00:01:38] And then we just ate all the Fritos. They're so good. You forget about Fritos. Let's be friends. Anyway, and Queen Tay-Tay. Now some people think I'm selling out so I've read on YouTube comments. No I'm not. We're gonna talk about why in a little while.

[00:01:54] I would also like to say that that's probably her actual height with heels and this is Dolly's actual height and this is Anita's actual height. She's actually this tiny. Nice. And everyone else, well Stevie's the next shortest. So thank you Sharon. I got the baby Anita, mini Anita.

[00:02:13] I love it. Pocket Anita. The amount of stuff. First what am I drinking? Well a Destin beer for Destin Ale. Nice. My cousin Mike and his wife Connie are in love with Destin, Florida. They go all the time. Can't get there fast enough.

[00:02:30] And he told me where to go to, well two bars. I was already at Lulu's, which there's three Lulu's in Florida and Alabama. And they are Jimmy Buffett's sister Lucy. He called her Lulu as a kid.

[00:02:46] Great fun. Always on the beach and they have this hot sauce I got. It's called Clearly Crazy but there's garlic in the bottom. I know I gave it to my friend Bobby and he was like this is going to kill me.

[00:02:58] This is like it's ever clear 150 when I go it's not as hot as you would think. It's just delicious. Like on chicken. I met some termites at Lulu's. That was fun. We got a picture. I look like crap but

[00:03:12] well I don't wear around in the day with makeup on and shit at the beach bar. Yeah it was super fun. So that's what we're drinking, the beer from Destin and so many things came backstage. I don't even really know where to start. So many things happened.

[00:03:29] Well first I should address why I'm wearing a New Jersey Devils. I was going to ask. Well because you're going to hear this after the game is over.

[00:03:36] Today is Monday. The game the New Jersey Devils were playing in the New York Rangers in hockey if you don't know hockey. This game seven. It's a big deal and the blues are my number one team but the Devils are now my fallback number two team.

[00:03:48] I got a root for them the whole way because why the assistant general manager Kate Madigan and she's one of the children. She's very young. She's very young. So I tweeted her whatever Twitter is still good for that for whatever anybody's wondering what it's there for anymore.

[00:04:07] And she said this thing this hoodie. It's very fancy. This is not cheap. This is a fancy fancy and there were two more shirts in there. Yeah way to go Kate Madigan. That's right women doing shit. That's nice. That's good.

[00:04:23] So I'm rooting for the Devils the whole way now if the Devils get knocked out. I don't want to jinx it then I'm going to root for a Canadian team.

[00:04:32] Thank you. In honor of you paddles and in honor of Toronto never ever get the Canadians you know what the problem is they should never like Canadians play for American teams and then you would win every year but they're all spread out. It's called the Olympics.

[00:04:45] It is called the Olympics I know and they win every time. Or there's a problem. Right or somebody gets fired that night that happens a lot with you guys but I don't blame them. That's the one thing you got going.

[00:04:59] So I'm going to talk about the possum last first I'm just going to go through some stuff that came backstage. It was super nice.

[00:05:09] Star Corey and Asher hot sauce always welcome and they bought this one original best a batch the Beely Sauce Company and I have it in this thing.

[00:05:20] I've already opened it. I'm not tasting it yet. Any kind of hot sauce that what is the one I love on the road that's store pepper palace. Oh my god. That's really good. Yeah, it's really hot. Holy shit hot. You got to be careful hot. Pensacola Florida. Yeah.

[00:05:44] Beely no Sealy the Sealy Sauce Company. I like it a lot. Maybe one more bite. We'll put that up that that was that along with so much stuff came backstage.

[00:06:02] Bigfoot bandages the last thing of bandages I got that a term I sent I sent him to my parents. They're so excited and my mom just keeps going we love those band aids.

[00:06:14] I'm not giving them all the bigfoot bandages. No, I'll give them a few just to spice up their week when they change all their bandages that I don't know why they're wearing some cat stuff a beer from Pensacola.

[00:06:27] And then this thing this is for chicken. It's a healthy riles barbecue and grilling authentic garlic jalapeno rub. Let me see I had it open before. No, I'm going to do that my hand and be careful. Wow. That's great. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:06:52] I mean I can't eat it all. It's very hot. You may have to make chicken tonight just because of that. No, grill it. It's so windy though. I don't really want to be grilling out there. It's so crazy windy.

[00:07:06] Yeah, I don't I don't like to weather lately. It's cold and windy and it's fucking May 1st and it's 59 degrees out there and windy and I talked to my brother and club members are the same thing out there just ridiculous like you can't can't go fishing.

[00:07:21] It's too windy golf is bullshit. I guess that's the Lord telling me I'm supposed to be doing real things. Heather brought me these French is potatoes six so far as to God they're the best ones.

[00:07:34] Really? Uh huh. Now I know my mom and dad my dad's into it. You know three heart attacks later you don't give a shit. No. You got any more of those are potato sticks? Sure dad whatever you're ready to do you have whatever you want.

[00:07:50] She's up that and some fry sauce I haven't tasted yet and a t-shirt that says update. Yeah, I haven't had time to watch it. I'll show you guys at some point. Oh, more beer from Kurt Lauren Carolyn. I met him. Oh these little guys I met at Lulu's.

[00:08:07] Oh fun. Yeah and then I met termites in the parking lot too. I don't want to brag when I was at the Townsend Suites. The night of the show that was all that was near there. I'm like it's fine.

[00:08:19] Yeah, I don't whatever there's a kitchenette and all that in those places. I figure there's some sort of crime being committed people are why you stand this long you're making like roast beef and shit.

[00:08:29] I don't know. It's just not how I... Well there's like a full kitchen in there.

[00:08:36] There was some law and order where some guy went to go kill himself with a bottle of whiskey and it was in one that had a kitchenette and I've never gotten that out of my head.

[00:08:46] They brought beer and all kinds of fun stuff too and they were fun to meet. That's what I always say.

[00:08:52] Like Louis's fans are super strange right? My fans I want to stay with them at the bar and I'm like shit I have to go home and take a shower because I am doing a show for you in three hours.

[00:09:06] But yeah my fans are very... Well I'm going to tell you about my fans. Faye and Heather bought the Dolly Funko. Fun. Now I have two. I'm very jealous. Well you can have one. Or I'm going to send one to my friend Lorraine. I'll take it.

[00:09:24] Oh did you hear that Lorraine? You listen? Wow. Those are super valuable. So thank you because people spend a lot of money bringing all this stuff backstage. And I'm always sad when it's a super beer weekend and I don't have Michael Somerville.

[00:09:41] Because my super beer monster they brought to grow a big foot which I'm going to do. I don't have it up here today but I'm going to grow the big foot. I got a lot of beer backstage.

[00:09:52] And I had a new opening act. Andrew Stanley is very funny. Very, very, very funny. A recommendation from Mr. Aaron Weber and he killed it. And sometimes it's weird.

[00:10:06] Like I don't want people to pay 45 bucks or 50 bucks and then if I have an opener that comes out and eats it for 20 minutes. That's not right. That's not fair. They paid right. But I trust Aaron completely because Aaron does great. And Andrew was just great.

[00:10:22] So go look him up online. If you want to, I saw his video before I hired him. And I'm like yeah he's great. This is Nan from Magnolia Springs, Alabama. She brought beer, Fairhope, Alabama. One of the cutest cities ever to exist on earth. I kid you not.

[00:10:38] It's right by Mobile. It's in the bay. Oh yeah. It's just like a fantasy town. And she brought me a Bucky sticker which I'm very excited about. Nice. Yeah. My termites have been to their first Bucky experience ever. The ones I met in the bar. Yeah.

[00:10:52] Yeah they were very excited. Lili Oscar Linda. Peggy Wigley Cooler who doesn't want one of those. Wild Leap beer. That was all good stuff too. The Wild Leap. Oh well now I was like I didn't drink that one. Yeah you did.

[00:11:09] Well no some have a bison on them and others then they have, yeah they have different cans. That's why. I drank the rainbow one. It was awesome. And then I got a Stevie Nicks necklace. And shit I forgot to bring it up from Sherry. But I love it.

[00:11:22] Yeah. I absolutely love it. Yep. And then I got a Stuff Beagle. Yeah. And a Dog Beagle. That's from Karen. Because. I can take it on the road. I can take it on the road cause I can't have a dog.

[00:11:33] All I can have is whatever animals show up here. And then I apparently own them and feed them. But this was the craziest backstage moment ever. Okay. So far ever in 35 years. Fun. I was just hanging back there. This was in Niceville, Florida.

[00:11:54] Which is the nicest place on earth. The staff, they give me a hat that says Nisville. It's by Destin, sort of by Fort Walton Beach. It's sort of in that area that the panhandle is kind of ill-defined sometimes, but it's right there.

[00:12:09] And I was just hanging out with Andrew and this lady came down walking towards me with a friend and she had a, like a styrofoam cooler and it had beer in there, which she was, but I didn't know if she worked there

[00:12:25] or just came in some side door and she was like, hi, you know, I'm a fan. My name's Karen and she had this picture taped on top of the cooler of a possum in what I would describe this outfit. I would call it his wizard outfit.

[00:12:42] I don't know what she calls it, but he has like a satin wizard hat and a cape and she said, would love to meet you. It wasn't hard, she just walked backstage. I'm like, oh, hey lady, okay. She was very, very nice though.

[00:13:00] And I said, is this possum here? She said, yeah, do you wanna meet him? And I go, yeah. And she went and got him. It was in her purse. Her purse, I think was in the car and she pulled him out. I mean, it was the cutest thing.

[00:13:19] Now I want one. Oh yeah, I do. Yeah, we're gonna learn about possums. We're gonna learn a little something because I was sending my brother all the pictures in the videos and he goes, deep down, you are nothing but a fucking redneck.

[00:13:33] I said, Patrick just because I like animals, all right, I'm 50% redneck. Yeah, well, I'm not afraid of, that the one on the porch comes up and eats a whole dinner if I leave the food up. That's five, he just comes and he's docile.

[00:13:48] And there's a lot of good things. And this guy, he was disabled, so nobody judges Karen and she raised him because he would not survive in the wild. It's very nice. But one of his paws was all taped up

[00:14:01] and she tried to put him in a different room to sleep other than with her and he got stressed out and tried to eat his own paw. So that's that good. He lives in the house. Yeah, he only weighed three and a half pounds.

[00:14:14] I'd say the one on my porch weighs about 12. It's way bigger than the cats, it's bigger than the cats. She else, there was beer in the cooler, but you go on my Instagram and all that, you can see the video of me and the Schnotz,

[00:14:31] me meeting Roman and as we go further on, we're gonna learn a little something about possums later. Where do you buy a possum outfit? I don't know where she gets these outfits. He has a cowboy hat. In the video, his cowboy hat can't fall enough.

[00:14:47] This one, he looks like a wizard. Like he's Merlin the magician or something. I didn't see this outfit. I like it though, it's kind of Liberace-like. And he's so sweet. He fell asleep in my arms. They're just so, they're, I know everybody's freaked out because of their teeth.

[00:15:07] And that tail. Well, the tail is kind of rat-like. You gotta get beyond the tail. Maybe like a dog, you could just get rid of that. But they probably use it. Well, I don't know, people take tails off dogs all the time. Well, yeah, it's not my thing.

[00:15:23] My sister's Australian shepherd doesn't have a tail. It drives my dad fucking nuts. It's not a dog! What happened to its tail? Well, Dad, it just doesn't. Ah, bullshit. If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a dog. Well, look at Buster. What do you think he is?

[00:15:36] He said, they're going, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Looking new. Jack Madigan's not going along with the no-tail thing. Can't be to hear about the concepts. All right, we're moving on to the show now. Now that we got through all that.

[00:15:52] Um, uh, here's why we're inducting Tay-Tay. Now some people on YouTube said I was selling out. I don't know why they'd say that because their concerts are expensive, maybe. Maybe, that's why. They are expensive. I know this. But it's a three hour show. And I don't know,

[00:16:11] I don't know what happened on that ticketmaster deal when it got screwed up. We talked about it. We did, but I don't know. It still didn't make sense. As much as I know, that's more than normal people about Ticketmaster, it still didn't make sense.

[00:16:24] The young termites like her too. It's for the young, it's for the children. Yeah, the children get to learn. And I mean, I like her. I got tickets the last time she went on tour, I got them for my nieces, the twins. And my sister took them.

[00:16:37] And this is how rural my nieces are. They'd never been to any kind of concert at all. They think St. Louis is like Hong Kong when they go in, okay? And their idea of a concert, they were probably only 11, I guess, or 12 at the oldest.

[00:16:55] They, I said, okay, well we got you tickets in Kansas City, it goes to here. And they were like, oh that's so awesome. What song is she gonna sing? They think it's like YouTube. She just sings one song and it's over.

[00:17:10] And I thought, Taylor probably doesn't know that. She could get away with that with a third of the off. When you're in rural areas, go to Kansas City, Oklahoma City, you can just come out and do a half hour and everybody's like, that was awesome.

[00:17:21] What do you wanna hear? No, it's just so naive that it was cute that they really thought you just go and your YouTube friend comes out and does one thing and then the night's over. Yeah, well my sister said they didn't even need Taylor to come out.

[00:17:37] And all of what happened to Arrowhead Stadium for Taylor's thing or whatever. Here's why I like Tay-Tay. I like a lot of the songs. I'm not like my sister would say I'm a bandwagon paris then, which is true with Taylor. It took me a while to catch on.

[00:17:55] I know songs now, yeah. But for being one of the children, she's young under 40, she does an immense amount of charity work. Great. Yes. Yes. And all of these people just don't do shit. And I don't care if you make it public, you should make it public.

[00:18:13] And then pressure other people to do some nice stuff with all this money. She's making generous donations to food banks and cities when she's visiting during her era tour. Just another one of her numerous good deeds from over the years.

[00:18:24] Ahead of her first performance in Vegas on March 24th, the Three Square Food Bank in Las Vegas revealed via Instagram that the folklore artists have made a donation. We don't know about you, but we're feeling grateful on this day. Taylor Swift made a generous donation.

[00:18:41] Thank you Ms. Swift for supporting our mission on a local community. She makes sure everyone benefits when she goes. So you guys all have the local food banks. That's awesome. Uh-huh. She just did it in Florida too. She also participated, she's 33 years old

[00:18:55] in the UNICEF TAP project initiative by joining other celebrities and selling water from their homes in order to raise more than 2.5 million people who don't have access to clean water. Florida, she just gave a shit ton of money, the Tampa thing. Somebody, a termite tweeted me that.

[00:19:14] She's awesome. She also in 2017, she gave a generous sum of money to Mariska Hardigay's Joyful Foundation, whatever that is. So she's spreading the money around, which is nice to hear. During COVID-19, she donated to the World Health Organization and Feeding America. Meanwhile, in her country home of Nashville,

[00:19:34] she paid for three months of health insurance for the entire staff of the local record store, Grimes, which I've been to a million times, which was struggling to stay off. She paid for all her health insurance. Wow. Yeah. That's awesome. She's covered tuition fees for struggling college students

[00:19:55] and even bought one fan of house. Do you hear that, Stevie? Tanya, you're off the hook on this one. I don't think you're in the same monetary category. Share, you're not well. Now that you got that new boyfriend spending all your money, I'll leave you alone, but...

[00:20:16] The Florida one, that's gonna bother me. I'll find it for next week, because I screenshot it, I think, and then I don't know, I don't wanna turn my phone on, because it's gonna go- Mariska Hardigay's is, when she did law and order,

[00:20:24] she done about sexual assault and domestic violence. Oh, domestic violence, that's what I was all about. Good job, good job, good job. I like it. Moving on, no more Queen News. We have Pocket Anita, Tay-Tay. Everybody else is still here. Share's been very quiet.

[00:20:41] Tanya's got a new album coming out, we were talking about that. And Stevie, I'm hoping resurfaces in May. It, well, it's May 1st. Cause I'm buying tickets to go somewhere and I hope this isn't another one of the senior turtles breaking down. I don't- No, no.

[00:21:00] It's not her time. I don't think so either, she seems healthy. I don't know though, cancel on a whole month. That seems weird. Just saying, I'm not here to start rumors. Well, technically I am. Oh, and I had a Coachella update from my friend Bronson.

[00:21:14] Oh, what is it? Well, he loved it. He loved it, but he fell asleep in the grass and didn't get to be B York. He missed B York, yeah. But I like that's when you know you had a good time. When you fell asleep in the grass,

[00:21:29] lost your sunglasses and missed the headliner you went to go see. And he didn't even care. That's just so great about being young. Don't even give a shit. I'd be like, I did what? Are you kidding me? God damn it. That'd be so mad.

[00:21:45] He went back again the next weekend. Oh my God. Yeah, and this is when you know they're young too. I go, do you have a ticket? He's like, no. Driving from LA to Palm Springs. Oh my God. You can't get me to go there if you pay me.

[00:21:59] Cash money. I'm like, I ain't driving that drive. The traffic's awful. Yeah, and they bought a wristband off somebody and went again because that Frank Ocean got fired who I thought was Billy Ocean. I'm like, why would everybody want to hear Care of a Queen?

[00:22:17] I didn't like it when it came out. It's still. Caribbean Queen? Caribou. Caribou's a reindeer. Caribbean Queen? Caribou Queen. Caribou, it's better. Come on, Caribou Queen's better. Yeah, it's a mating call. Caribou. So he told me though that the guy

[00:22:43] that was in charge of this group of friends, he planned pop-up tents and all this stuff. Wow. Well, this is somebody, what time you had to cook up, get up and cook breakfast. It's like camping with extra people. I said, I've brought, I've brought in,

[00:22:58] I don't think I couldn't. I'm afraid to camp in the desert cause it snakes. I'm tarantulas. I didn't know they don't attack you, whatever, whatever, I don't care. I'm terrified of them. And he said that he even agrees that next time he'll get a hotel room.

[00:23:15] Yeah, he didn't love the camping thing. And he's young. Well, you'd have to stay in Palm Springs or Indigo or something like Indio or whatever and then Uber somewhere. And then start walking. Hope you have comfortable shoes on, not flip flops. Yep. All right, update.

[00:23:39] You're not gonna like this battle. Elizabeth Holmes is delayed her sentencing. But only till Wednesday I think. They have to Wednesday to respond. She's such. She filed a last minute thing saying she should be allowed to stay out on appeal while they,

[00:24:00] while they appeal her case, she should be allowed to be free. Now, Sonny tried that, her partner, and it didn't work and he had a report to the popo. This judge said, we need to at least look at this before we say no again.

[00:24:14] Cause he believes there are some improprieties. I do not. I think Lizzie's going to the popo. Yeah. A pokey, not the popo, that's the cops. She's going to the pokey I think. And it's when he says so, I think by Wednesday we'll know. It's only Wednesday.

[00:24:31] So whenever you hear this podcast, it's before that. It'll probably, we'll probably know it by the time this comes out. We'll do an update. A live update. I can't do another update if I'm already done with this. I don't do a live update. Update!

[00:24:46] Bob, Clark, my friends are you listening? Bed Bath Beyond is closing and we all know that. But don't throw out your coupons. What? Don't throw them out. They won't take them. Big Lots and the Container Store are taking them. Whoa. I don't go in Big Lots that often

[00:25:06] and there's one by my house. Maybe I'll go in there and see what's in there. I went with my mom one time and this is all I remembered. The Rams had moved to St. Louis and they were selling LA Rams coats in Big Lots in St. Louis.

[00:25:25] Now if you'd have held on to that jacket, they eventually became the LA Rams again. It just seemed strange. I don't know. It's an off-sale story. Wednesday, April 26th was the last day you could use your 20% off Bed Bath Beyond coupons. But today, Fox News reported that

[00:25:42] Big Lots and Container Store are taking old or expired coupons with special terms and conditions. Don't hold me hostage, termites. I don't know what that means. The Container Store said that it will accept a competitor's blue coupon at any of its 97 US stores through May 31st.

[00:26:00] It will be good for 20% off a single item. Oh, it's the only one. You can't go get like a whole shit load of stuff. Right. Big Lots said it would accept Bed Bath Beyond coupons through May 7th. You get 20% off their purchase of $50

[00:26:14] or more at any Big Lots. They have 1,425 stores across the United States. Wow. Yeah. The company filed for 10 to 11. I mean, all that to vote. Sorry, Z. You know, I drove by mine because I was gonna make a video and I thought it had like a week left

[00:26:29] and it was closed closed. And it was a little sad. There was a little tinge in my heart. You know what? It was not sad seeing going away. Toys are us and I don't know why you spelled everything backwards when children are trying to learn how to read.

[00:26:42] Why'd you are backwards? Knock it off. That place drove me apeshit if you had kids that you had to take in there. Yeah. But Bed Bath Beyond made me sad. Well, it made me sad because I don't know where my guy with the squirrel

[00:26:54] that he dresses up like a pioneer lady in the stroller. I'm feeling Walmart. I don't think he's got the money for Target. I think he's gonna have to drop down. Let's go over and we'll try to hunt him out. I'm gonna go to the Walmart

[00:27:07] because sometimes I sneak over there even though my father would kill me for the giant cat food bag and they have a good cat toy aisle. Yeah, I buy the giant. Big bag and cat food bag. Yeah, and then I tried to check out with the giant.

[00:27:23] It's like a 20 pound bag of Perina cat chow and it wasn't ringing up and the lady goes, you sure you didn't bring that in with you? Okay. Yeah, I did. I figured here's how I'm gonna steal a 20 pound totally, totally not obvious bag of cat food.

[00:27:39] I'm like, ma'am, I'm not trying to steal the cat food. It's not my fault your machines suck and it's not ringing up. Yeah, whatever. I don't like going in there. I don't like how they treat their employees but sometimes I have to if I've gotta go again. Update!

[00:27:56] Demon dog Ralphie excels in agility training and he's gonna do amazing things. He's like sea biscuit in the shape of a pig. That's what he said. This, if you didn't, if you don't keep up with the podcast this is a dog, a French bulldog

[00:28:11] that nobody wanted to adopt because it was mean as shit and the ASP, the SPCA called it a fire breathing whole jerk, not even half of a jerk of a dog and then they went through this whole thing about

[00:28:25] don't take him if you just think he needs love but the video is if you follow him on Instagram Ralphie the Demon Dog, he's doing great. Yeah, he's not biting anymore. This guy Jason's like a miracle worker and it's in Tennessee somewhere. That's great.

[00:28:40] He's just doing, he immediately got along with other dogs, the other dogs showing off his innate social skills and an evolving understanding of boundaries. Good job. He knows when to push and he also knows when to back away. Yeah, he had to be very careful.

[00:28:57] So that's your little update. Ralphie's doing great. He's thriving in Tennessee and he's going to learn tricks including skateboarding and agility training. There's a picture of him on a skateboard. He understands how to stand on it. He doesn't understand how to push it yet.

[00:29:11] At least from the videos this guy's posting and they're good. Some of the other dogs seem worse than Ralphie. I think Ralphie got a bad, bad, bad. Yeah, you got a total bad rap. Update! Since we're on an animal roll, remember the cocaine cat in Cincinnati?

[00:29:30] Well, he's recovering just fine at the Cincinnati Zoo and he will become a cat ambassador. Many may be familiar with cocaine bear. The comedy thriller based on the true story of a black bear found dead near a duffel bag loaded with $2 million worth of cocaine.

[00:29:44] But have you heard of cocaine cat? There's no movie yet, but thankfully his story has a happy ending. Earlier this year, a 35 pound, 35 pound African serval, a serval cat, they have big ears yet, named Amrie, escaped from a car the police had pulled over

[00:30:03] from a traffic stop in Cincinnati. Somebody was taking this thing out for a ride. I don't even take baby cat in the car, never. The freaked out feline ran up a tree during the rescue by local animal control he broke his slender leg.

[00:30:20] He was admitted to Cincinnati Animal Care where the medical team tested him from narcotics, a hospital explained on Facebook, this has become a standard procedure for exotic animals after we seized custody of Neo, a cappuccino monkey who tested positive for meth. What are people doing? That was in 2022.

[00:30:41] They soon discovered that Amrie was strung out on cocaine. In Ohio, it's illegal to own serval cats, not to mention snorting cocaine. Amrie's owner was not arrested, but he did have to relinquish the cat to the Cincinnati Zoo. Why wasn't he arrested?

[00:30:56] First of all, it's illegal to have the cat. Second of all, it's coked up. It did not buy the cocaine. It doesn't have any money. It doesn't have a wallet. You bought the cocaine. His health has improved after receiving care in our veterinary facility.

[00:31:11] We were able to move him to the cat ambassador program area yesterday as his leg is still recovering. They'll keep an eye on that before allowing him to run, jump, or engage in other activities that might impair the healing. They will concentrate on helping him

[00:31:23] acclimate to a new environment and his new team of care. How did Amrie get the blow? The police are still investigating if the ingested of cocaine was accidental or forced. Well, whatever, that means the guy had it. Charges against his former owner are still on the table.

[00:31:40] They don't have time for this. The serval is a wild cat native to Africa. It has a small head, large ears, a golden yellow yellow coat spotted with striped striped with black and a short black tip tail. It has the longest legs of any cat

[00:31:58] relative to its body size. They can cost anywhere from 1,000 to 1,500. I would think they'd be more. I can honestly say I don't know anyone that's ever owned one. Well, maybe my accountant. Sherry. Yeah. One time I asked my accountant, Sherry, why'd you move from

[00:32:20] Potofsky, Michigan to Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri? Seems weird, a weird move. She said, oh, because Missouri had much lack, much their animal, their laws for animal exotic, exotic animals where it much lacks her. Oh my God. Oh, what kind of animals did you have, Sherry?

[00:32:38] Yo, she's very smart. She's like, she had, she had lions and tigers and everything. She knew, she knew, what's his face? Joe Exotic. She knows the whole racket of all that. Yeah, it was very interesting. Yeah. So don't worry about cocaine cat. They're fixing his leg and update,

[00:33:02] trader update. We haven't had a trader update. This couple fascinated me the most because it was a mom and her son. Tennessee folks. They were known as the zip tie. The zip tie guys. Well, guys in Gally, yes, whatever you know. Tennessee man and his mother were convicted

[00:33:20] on Tuesday of charges. They stormed the Capitol where they brought plastic zip tie handcuffs into the Senate gallery as a mob attacked the building. Yeah, they were found guilty on all 10 counts in their indictment, including a charge that they conspired to obstruct just Congress

[00:33:36] from certifying Joe Biden's electoral victory on January 6th. They haven't been sentenced yet. Yep. Our goal at the end of the day was to show the court that they're accepting responsibility. Yeah, not really. No. He's 32. Oh, and the mom is 59.

[00:34:00] How do you decide to do that for fun? Is it with your parents? Hey, mom, what do you got going on on January 6th? Want to go up and zip tie Nancy Pelosi to a poll? How about Mitch McConnell? Let's get Mitch.

[00:34:14] Oh, they said they gleefully entered the Capitol during a riot and they also had a stun gun. She said she'd rather die. This is at the time she was 57. As a 50 years, seven year old woman than live under oppression. I'd rather die. I would rather fight.

[00:34:33] Okay, we'll have that work out. Yeah. So I will let you know when they get sentenced. We'll see how long you go to jail for that update. All right. Now this is important termites. This is very important. I did it. It only takes five minutes or less

[00:34:51] if you're better with a computer than I am. I'm going to put in the schnotes. You can apply for your share of Facebook's $725 million settlement in the privacy suit. Great. Here's the deal. If you maintain an account between May 2007 and December 20 of 2022,

[00:35:09] submit a claim for their share of the $725 million class section settlement. Now who knows? It could end up being 18 bucks, but it depends on how many people sign up and a lot of people are lazy and they won't do it.

[00:35:20] And we're going to put this in the show notes, the schnotes as a link. And this is from CNBC so they're not fucking around here. It's the real, and I did it and it went to the real link. And you can get it in like the consent

[00:35:35] of your settlement like in a Visa gift card. You don't even have to give, because I'm like, wait, is this real? Am I giving banking info to... So fair to check. Yeah. Yeah. Am I turning into my mom? I don't know.

[00:35:48] I gave all my banking information to a Facebook link. Yep. This is from them harvesting the data of over 87 million Facebook users. Oh, my God. So you got to end, you have till August 25th to do it. Okay.

[00:36:06] We'll put it in and then I'll give you a reminder come summer if you're too lazy to do it now. Because that's, that's where the part of me that I know why I didn't do good in school. I mean, it did fine but I didn't do great.

[00:36:17] Because as soon as I saw August 25th I was like, well, I don't have to do it now. Right. But you know what? Why not, Kathleen? It's a link, it takes five minutes and I did it. So there you go. Get your money from... Fuckerberg. Bye bye.

[00:36:32] Moving on to our holy shit, they found it. Yes, segment. We're going to do this one first. They do not say how old this girl is. But I'm assuming if there's any girl under 21. Girl discovers largest Viking treasure hoard in Denmark in 50 years. Yep.

[00:36:53] The biggest discoverer of Viking treasure in Denmark in a half a century. She's credited with finding 300 coins. Can you imagine that? I don't even think I have 300 coins in this house. Probably not. The pieces of silver are believed to be at least

[00:37:07] a thousand years old and were found here in Old Viking Castle associated with one of the era's most famous rulers. According to a press release by the Historical Museum of North Jutland, the rare discovery was made in Denmark's northwestern region, approximately five miles from Fyrkat,

[00:37:23] a Viking ring castle. The treasure consisted of two separate hoards located less than 50 meters apart. They were once close together but modern plowing and sewing spread them over a larger area. Around 300 pieces were ultimately moved and removed, uncovered. 50 were fully intact. 50, a thousand years old.

[00:37:45] They weren't just Danish coins either. The hoards dating back to the 980s, the year 980, also contained Arab and German currency. During this time, King Harold Blanton, better known as Harold Bluetooth, wasn't he futuristic, was in power. The currency that circulated during his reign

[00:38:06] featured an image of a cross and a symbol that's been noted on the coins discovered by an amateur metal detectorist. Again, somebody with a metal detector. She was nice. And this is, the Vikings must have already been converted, somebody who's converted to Christianity because they put the cross.

[00:38:23] By the way, at the NFL Draft, everybody that got picked thanked Jesus and I think that's nice. But when the first person that got picked by the Vikings, I wanted that kid to thank Odin. Because I've watched Vikings on the History Channel and I wanted him to say,

[00:38:43] I'm not ready to go to Vahala yet, but when I get there, I want to give a shout out to Odin and all the other gods, just because he'd be funny. Just funny. She was nine? Oh my God. The discovery was made in autumn of 2022,

[00:38:59] but only publicly revealed this April. Along with the two coins, two pieces of silver jewelry from either Ireland or Scotland were also uncovered. That's because your people, paddles, your Viking side, your half Norwegian, came over to our peaceful little islands and raped and pillaged.

[00:39:18] I hope you're proud of yourself. Absolutely. You proud? Yeah. Yep. They date to the same period as the castle. Uh-huh. Is believed the jewelry was collected during a raiding expedition, which it was taken for its weight in silver rather than its artistic details.

[00:39:31] That's why the ringpin was chopped into pieces. It wasn't uncommon for Vikings to bury their treasure during times of war and instability for safekeeping only to never return for it. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? That's what you all did. Yep. Yep.

[00:39:45] And if you watch the first Vikings, which was on History Channel, I've been watching Vikings Vahala. Is it good? It's great. I'm never going to... You're always going to miss Ivar the Boneless. I mean, and Ragnar, this season, the first Vikings was so, so, so great.

[00:40:02] But this one's really good. I mean, I'll give it an A. The other one got an A plus. So there you go. An A plus. Holy shit! This should be called, holy shit they saw it. Okay. But it counts. A quote, extinct lion spotted in Chad National Park.

[00:40:22] A lion has been spotted in Chad's Senna or a National Park where the big cats have not been seen since 2004. It was 20 years and were believed to be extinct until now. There's a picture of this lioness. She is awesome looking.

[00:40:38] A picture of a lioness was released by a team of conservationists from the Chad government and the New York Wildlife Conservation Society. The photograph shows a prime, very healthy adult lion that's around five years old. I'm sure she's not alone.

[00:40:53] The image taken by a remote camera in the protected area back in February was released on Thursday. This is huge. This is hugely encouraging because prime females are the foundation of any population and they are not big wanderers. They inhabit the areas that have prey

[00:41:08] or safe to raise their cubs. He noticed that her presence was an early sign of lions recovering in the Addition Park, National Park and Cameroon. That's awesome. Dr. Hunter said there are about 22,000 to 24,000 lions left in the wild. The vast majority of which are classified as a lot.

[00:41:28] It's not a lot. 25,000? If we're going to let these jack straws, some dentist from Minnesota, go, you know, I'm not going to get in that fight. I'm not getting in that fight. But when they say, well it helps the local economy.

[00:41:47] Why don't you just give them some goddamn money? Instead of, you don't need to. Well, I'm not picking on Minnesota actually. I think he, no, he's either from Michigan or Minnesota. I remember that. He's from an M state. He's from the middle. No, he's a northerner.

[00:42:05] There are fewer than 1000 northern lions in Western Central Africa and they are especially endangered in precious. The other ones are in the south. I've never called a lion precious. I would call them precious. Yes. Yes, they're precious. They're precious.

[00:42:25] We need them out there to kill all the other bad things. They're probably the only thing that can escape a hippo. You know, none of my other friends know that. Everyone should know that. The hippos are the most dangerous animal on earth.

[00:42:38] I could do with a few less hippos and so could Columbia. They're trying to get rid of Pablo's hippos. Hippos are a problem. They're a goddamn problem and they're vicious. Problematic hippos. Archaeologists have unveiled the first known sculptures of human figures

[00:43:04] made by the Tartesos people, a lost civilization that flourished in southern Spain some 3000 years ago that has been linked to the myth of Atlantis. Wow. You know who really was a big fan of Atlantis? Shirley MacLean. What? The actress.

[00:43:21] She wrote all of her books on ethereal things like that. She wrote books? Shirley MacLean? Yeah, I bought her first one immediately. Out on a limb. I read it. I liked it. She's kind of crazy. She's nuts. Well, you just got to go with it.

[00:43:38] She's so good in terms of interior. Oh, the lady wrote a book. But she believed in Atlantis. She tried to go there. Yeah, but it's mythical. So your plane is going to end somewhere. It's probably not going to be there.

[00:43:51] According to researchers, they are likely depictions of gods and warriors. This is amazing. The discovery of five reliefs of human faces. They look like human faces, these statues. They vanished around 2500 to 3000 years ago, these people. Though they produced an abundance of gorgeous artifacts,

[00:44:15] these are the first human representations evacuated at the site. Adding a surprising new layer to our understanding of this vibrant culture. Culture, the unusual thing is that the new finding is the representations correspond to human faces.

[00:44:28] It's a huge profound shift in the interpretation of the Tartesos people who were traditionally considered an an iconic culture for representing divinity through animals or plant motifs. So they didn't do human faces. You got to see the pictures of these. They thrived in southern Iberia for several centuries.

[00:44:54] This rich culture seems to have fallen off the face of the planet. Not too long after Casas del Toranello was burned to the ground. Some experts have speculated that collapse in the mining and metalworks trade dealt an economic blow. That's not enough to get rid of a people.

[00:45:11] Just because you can't do metalworking? What? Other scholars, I'm with these guys, suggest that earthquakes and tsunamis inflicted widespread floods and damage to their settlements from which the civilizations never recovered. I'm more on that one, not because we ran out of metalwork.

[00:45:32] They may be the origin of the legend of Atlantis, although others in the academic community have called these claims fanciful and complete madness. Stop, it's not complete madness. Yeah, so they found it. Moving on to news. Moving on to news, folks. Shirley Bricklate wrote all kinds of books.

[00:45:54] Yeah, she was on Oprah all the time. Yeah, I can about them. She was very like, I don't know, maybe in the 90s or something. She wrote, yeah, there's a bit of narcissism going on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, it takes all kinds. Can we talk?

[00:46:13] Oh, this is this. All right. And I don't even I can't even blame this on the children. This is astonishing to me. Climate change protesters target famous culture at National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC. Now I'm going to put the video in this note.

[00:46:33] National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC says the FBI is involved in an investigation after climate change protesters targeted a famous sculpture Edgar DeGaas little dancer age 14. Photos show the activists on Thursday smeared red and black paint on a plexiglass enclosure that housed the in sculpture.

[00:46:50] So it didn't get to the sculpture. But when you see the video, they're there for a good five minutes. Where is security? I don't understand it because there's a man that walks behind them in the back of the video. He looks like security.

[00:47:08] And I'm like, are you not aware that they have finger paint? All over their hands and they're going like this to the plexiglass. I mean, it's clearly it's not subtle. No, no. They swear. The gallery said the experts are assessing the actual sculpture for damage.

[00:47:23] Well, they didn't get in beyond the plexiglass. But the fact that they got in there with pain and did all this and you guys right. It's far from the first chaotic stunt and they did not look young. They were over 40. Yeah. They're they're mad about climate change.

[00:47:40] Well, I just don't think this is a way to get people on your side by trying to destroy such historical works. Our works are carefully guarded under protective glass, keeping them from being damaged. Right. But they got that far.

[00:47:54] Earlier they had targeted Vincent van Gogh, Leonardo da Vinci, the Scream by Edward Munch. I mean, yeah. So they're at it again. Like I said, why? How about security when you go in? Right. I think if you go in, I haven't super paint.

[00:48:12] I think the last art museum I was in was probably Andy Warhol's in Pittsburgh. You don't have to go through a security thing though, but you think they might want to do that? Yeah.

[00:48:25] Like just see what what if I bring my big old work person there with a possum? That's crazy. Um, this is kind of crazy fascinating. And I've got two things on this. A 1912 linen map of the Titanic used for an inquiry into the famed ocean liner's sinking

[00:48:56] has sold at auction for $243,000. Wow. Would you pay it? No. I don't know. That's kind of cool. Well, I would frame it. To be in a museum. Well, this is just a linen map they used in court. I mean, it's not like the 33 foot long.

[00:49:15] Oh, I don't have a frame that big. Michaels is not. I don't trust Michaels. You imagine going into Michaels going, this is a linen map of the Titanic disaster. I have a 50% off coupon. I know they're don't even say it's only on Fridays because that's bullshit.

[00:49:30] We all know all these coupons are good every goddamn day. And I know you're going to tell me it's 50% off. And that's what the price probably should have been. And I'm going to check out and then there's a framing. Here's the thing with Michaels.

[00:49:43] You can look out and get somebody really good or you can get me who doesn't understand math and is like confident though. I got it. Then you come back and all your shit's crooked. You're like, you don't see that? Like that's so.

[00:49:56] Yeah, they always redo it though for nothing. So it's worth a try. It's a 33 foot long map prepared by the White Star Line's Naval Architects Department. Still has the red and green chalk marks that showed where the fateful iceberg broke through

[00:50:12] the five of the massive ship's watertight bulkheads, according to CNN. The auction house that sold the artifact, Henry Aldridge and Sun Limited told the networking statement the map was quite simply one of the most important and well documented pieces of Titanic member billion existence day.

[00:50:28] The items have the selling price reflects not only the rarity of the material, but the enduring appeal to the Titanic's story. She sank 111 years ago, but the memory of those passengers and crews lives on through the memorabilia.

[00:50:40] The Titanic, the largest ocean liner of its era, struck in iceberg in 1912, killing more than 1500 people and stranding hundreds of others in the frigid waters. Now here's what's crazy. Hold on, I have to find the next one.

[00:50:52] And now I've gone down the rabbit hole on Amazon Prime and Netflix and everything else. Well, because I bought this book and I already read it. Yep, I read it on the plane, but now I gotta find it. Hold on, it's not in the business section.

[00:51:09] So this guy wrote a book. Shit, I should have brought it up. I'm gonna mail it to my nephew. He wants it. Shotes. I'll put it in the shouts. Why the Titanic may have been cursed before it even set sail?

[00:51:27] There was a sense of gloom that hung over the Titanic before she even left. Rumored aboard was a cursed Egyptian mummy's coffin lid. Yeah, I ain't going. I'm not going on that ship if I know that. Now it's rumored.

[00:51:41] The book I read is called like Titanic's Omens and something, something, something. It's not that big of a book, but it's really good. There were a million things, but the problem is everybody didn't know all those things. So you're bebopping down. It left from Belfast.

[00:51:59] It went to Southampton, England. Then it went to Cherbourg, France. Then it went to what used to be called Queensland, which is really Cobb, which is close to Cork, but it's not Cork, Ireland. And what's weird is if you go to Cobb in Ireland, they have a museum.

[00:52:14] All the pictures that we see of the Titanic, those people got off the ship there. Or they got off in France. They could have ridden it from Southampton to Cherbourg and taken a bunch of pictures, but everybody else died or their cameras were fucked up.

[00:52:33] So those were the lucky people. But when you read, there was like 50 people that did not board that ship because of weird things. The craziest thing of all, so this guy, he sees this cat that's like messed up

[00:52:48] and it's pregnant and he was one of the underbelly crew. He worked in the bottom and he thought, I'm going to sneak this cat on. And he did. And so they haven't left yet. And then it took like two days to get ready to leave.

[00:53:02] And one of his friends goes, hey dude, your cat had her kittens and she's out of here. And she was carrying her kittens down the gangplank. Like she left a warm bed and he said, I just saw that and thought,

[00:53:14] I ain't got to get off this thing if that cat knows there's something going on. And for a dude to admit that like 50 passengers had such strong forebodings, they refused to board at the last minute and they lost the price of their ticket.

[00:53:28] That's got to be a lot of money. Yeah. And they didn't even know this stuff. Like some people heard, oh, there's a mummy coffin lid. That can't be good luck. But then a lot of people didn't hear that piece of information.

[00:53:41] Other people had heard that there'd been a fire on board before it even took off. And that the one side wasn't whatever. All these warnings and stuff, the book was just great. The captain, he'd already been involved in five major accidents. Okay. What's going on, Bourbon captain?

[00:54:02] Who's up there drinking bourbon hitting shit all the time? Five? Five? I've been driving a boat since I was, see, I've been driving a boat since I was 12. I've never hit another boat. Knock on one. I'll probably hit one this summer.

[00:54:18] He also ran several ships of ground hit by hit by hit a tugboat in New York Harbor and had been rammed by the warship. He confessed to friends he felt jinxed or maybe you shouldn't be drinking and driving a boat or get some glasses.

[00:54:34] All of the psychics told everybody not to go. But here's what's even crazier. Listen to this shit. Like 12 years before the Titanic was even built or named, a man wrote a book called like the voyage of the Titan. He used the word Titan. He just made it up.

[00:54:54] And the whole story is it hits a iceberg and half the people die because it doesn't have enough lifeboats. What? Yep. And then everybody decided that guy was a psychic and he's probably the only person in the history of the world went,

[00:55:05] no, no, I was just doing the math that there's probably going to hit an iceberg. He kept saying, I don't want to be at your psychic convention. I'm not a psychic. Most people would be like, oh yeah, I totally know all that.

[00:55:18] Yeah, this guy, this one Irish astrologer Count Lewis Heyman known as Cheerio. It was Cheerio. He cautioned the super rich British newspaper editor. He said, I see more than a thousand people, you among them struggling desperately in the water. They're screaming for help and fighting for their lives.

[00:55:37] It does none of them any good yourself included that dude went. Oh, wow. Yep. Okay, yep. That's crazy. Yeah, he was last seen reading a book in first class smoking room as chaos unfolded around him.

[00:55:53] I got to get you guys the name is, but I thought this was from that book. It's it's omantitanic omens and something else. If you believe in all that stuff, there was a lot of crazy.

[00:56:04] The book that that man wrote though, the Titanic disaster, omens mysteries and misfortunes of the doomed land. Okay, put it in this notes. Omens and mysteries and yeah. Okay, great. Yeah, that one's good. All right, do you have $190,000? Nope. Laying around. No, no, no.

[00:56:23] All right, be going to Tay-Tay. Or you would be going to Tay-Tay. JJ Watts going to try to go to all of them. All the tillers. Boy, he's joking with his wife on Instagram, but it's funny. He likes her a lot. Uh-huh. And I love JJ.

[00:56:40] Why lie of all the watt brothers football players if you don't keep up. If you have $190,000, how does this appeal to you? It appeals to me a lot. I would love to do it, but I'm not in the area. Sadly. See other.

[00:56:58] Scotland's Barloko Island is up for sale. Get an island for $190. You can get on a habit and island of your own is selling for a song, but it's a bit tricky getting there. It's located off the southern coast of Scotland and six miles from the nearest town.

[00:57:15] It's on sale for $190,000. The lush green island which stretches for about 25 acres has no homes or buildings on it, but boasts a pebble beach where a flood and a flood pond where rain waters gather for wildlife during the winter months.

[00:57:30] For a US buyer to get the island, they need to fly to Glasgow. I've been there. Take a two-hour drive to the nearest town which is called Gate House of Fleet. From there, it would be a six-mile boat ride to Barclow. Barloko? Local. Whatever.

[00:57:47] The island can also be accessed during low tide by an all-terrain vehicle or on foot over a rocky path. Okay. You got a four-wheeler. Six miles. Side by side. Side by side. Right. Get yourself one of those World War II helmets and a scarf in local areas.

[00:58:03] Come on. This trip is in a brief... It's like Snoopy. Yeah, it's totally Snoopy Dog. Get your little dog, put him in there. Or your possum, whatever you got. Roman, the possum I met would love to do it. The trip is in a breeze for locals either.

[00:58:18] The nearest train station in Dumfries is about an hour bus ride from the Gate House of Fleet. Yeah. Now, the agent handling the sale said he's optimistic about buyers interested in the land which stands at the westernmost island of the Isles of Fleet.

[00:58:36] There's still a very romantic sentiment attached to owning your own very Scottish private island where you could escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life and enjoy some peace and tranquility. Can I Airbnb this? Yeah, it'll be fun.

[00:58:51] You know what would be fun though is like if you bought it and you had a good camping setup like you could bring on the four wheeler like a tent and good stuff and food for a few days, whatever.

[00:59:02] There's no dangerous animals out here so I wouldn't be scared of camping. And then people, I don't think anybody, not anybody, but many, many people do not know what it is like to hear nothing.

[00:59:15] I went to the Aaron Islands in Ireland and I went to the biggest one. I didn't even go to the smallest. There's three and there might be a fourth tiny one that nobody goes to. I don't know, whatever. Inishmore, I think is the one I went to.

[00:59:30] And at night there's no cars. I mean, there's a couple cars on the island but it's mostly horses. And it stays light till like 10 o'clock at night, maybe 11 and you just hear of a horse if they're even out.

[00:59:46] And if you don't hear that, you hear nothing and I loved it. A lot of Lewis did not like it. Lewis thought we were going to be murdered. I'm like, by who, Lou? A horse or the border cowley that's hanging out with a horse?

[01:00:01] He didn't like the silence because he's used to living in New York City and he likes the noise. It's like his wooby, it's his background. I loved it. It would be difficult to build or live on the island. Great, nobody needs to build or live there.

[01:00:14] It should just be where you visit. Then you could let school groups go out there and camp out for the day. It'd be so fun to own it and be able to share it.

[01:00:25] And then when you don't feel like sharing it, you kick everybody out for a few days and go have your own fun. There are havens for wildlife but nothing bad. And the black-backed gulls and rare plants, no bad. There's nothing bad there though that could hurt you.

[01:00:44] Bring some goats out. I don't know, they might fuck up the ecosystem. They'll start eating everything. All the fancy plants and all the ones that are guarded and stuff. Then the goats will be like... Bring some hippos. Yeah, bring a hippo or two out. That'll be fun.

[01:00:59] Elon's rocket blew up and I just want to say, this is some other news, the trash from his explosion. It just went all over Texas. Now here's my question. Is Semi going to make Elon go clean that shit up? They should.

[01:01:18] The Starship spacecraft designed to fly people on a Mars mission some days, lifted off the launch pad and then blew up in mid-flight. It's also the day he took all our blue check marks away on Twitter. So maybe that's karma coming around.

[01:01:32] You blow up my blue check mark? I blow up your rocket. Some people got their blue check mark back and they're dead. Norm MacDonald, my friend, he's dead. Do you think he paid $8? I don't think so. Lewis is his god too, my god.

[01:01:51] What kind of game is he playing? It's like I feel like he wants to wreck it. He wants to destroy it. And then what? You still lost $44 billion. Does that not mean anything to him?

[01:02:02] That's so terrible when you think of what Dolly Parton would have done with $44 billion. Surely something better than rec Twitter. Dear God. There was a large amount of sand and ash-like matter and heavier debris kicked up by the launch and it spread far beyond the expected debris field.

[01:02:25] Because he thinks he's out. It went all the way to South Padre Island. Yeah, I mean, right. I don't trust him to not clean it up. I would trust Jeff Bezos. He seems responsible like him or not.

[01:02:42] Port Isabella, they reported broken windows in their businesses shaking windows at their home. Dust and matter that coated their homes, schools and land unexpectedly cars were covered in this shit. I don't know. I'm going to do a follow-up to see if they make him pay the bill.

[01:03:03] Papa Birdie has no powers anymore. I know. It's going to be fun to watch the debate. We're getting to the business section. But first, I would like to have a meeting with the Toronto Police. I know. I know. Paddles? This is your nation.

[01:03:21] They're not on the goddamn ball. No, my city. Police in Canada are investigating after an air cargo container carrying almost 15 million dollars in gold and other valuables vanished from the Toronto Pearson International Airport. Oh my God. That airport's the worst in the world anyway.

[01:03:41] You don't know who killed Barry and Honey Sherman and you lost 15 million at the airport. You're all fired. All of you. The RMCP wouldn't let this go on. This is the Toronto Police, an aircraft that arrived at the often bustling airport

[01:03:55] in the early evening had been unloaded with its cargo transported to a holding facility as quote, per normal procedure. What happened to the President's cargo after it was unloaded is a mystery. Oh, they're going to, yeah. I'm sure a trickster did it. Yeah, a fraudster.

[01:04:13] It was somehow removed by illegal means. The cargo was reported missing to the police a short time later. It's not clear exactly how much was gold was inside, but the total estimated of the contents is 20 million in Canadian currency. It was not exclusive to just gold.

[01:04:32] There's other shit that is worth a lot of money. Damn. Inside job. Might have been an inside job. That's how, remember that movie Casino? They did an inside job like that. In 1990, another Canadian airport heist made headlines

[01:04:45] after arms thieves ambush a private plane made off with 13 million in gold, ingots and other valuables. It was considered one of Canada's largest robberies at the time. The heist carried out a Dorvell international airport outside of Montreal

[01:04:59] or reportedly saw at least four men, including one armed with a Soviet made AK-47 assault rifle, use a stolen truck to tear through a fence before making off with the goods in the stolen van. A pipe bonnet exploded miles away under the. Da da da.

[01:05:16] So this is the biggest one now. You know, that would be really funny if they said there was the Leafs were in the playoffs and we weren't paying attention. Sorry. Sorry. We can get the game on our phone now. Stop it. Don't be mean. Man, don't be mean.

[01:05:40] All right. We're up for the next segment called it's none of your business. I do too. Because it is your business, America. It's a business we care about on a day to day thing that affect our lives. This is going to affect your life.

[01:05:55] Target rolls out the new perk for loyal shoppers in a bid to boost sales and stave off retail apocalypse that took down Bed Bath and Beyond. They're now allowing a convenient curbside scheme that will allow shoppers to return unwanted items without leaving their cars. Yep.

[01:06:13] So he returns the drive up refund service forms part of the store strategy to retain customers and the mid fears of retail apocalypse, which is seeing change shut up that shops in their droves due to low sales. It's going to be a fourth of target stores.

[01:06:33] It will be available at all 2000 by the end of summer. Wow. Yeah. I don't know. I went into return ink and I thought she's never going to believe me, but I swear to God the ink was empty.

[01:06:47] It came with no ink and I had my whole story ready and the girl was like, yeah, I don't really care. I just go get some more ink and I was like, oh, okay. Target. I used to do a joke about why you have Peggy could return anything.

[01:07:02] I forgot what it was like. She could return a half eaten sandwich and go, well, it was kind of good. She was so good. Return. You got to download the app in order to do it. That's fine. Yep.

[01:07:16] It this comes after Amazon began slapping customers with refund processing fees. The Amazon return thing has gotten out of hand and I have a special on Amazon. Brian, we have to keep repeating that that I love Amazon. However, however,

[01:07:32] the return thing has got the girls at my UPS store very pissed because they're basically doing Amazon's job and then people just walk in with the thing and they don't have any of the stuff and then the girls got to do it all. Right. Yeah.

[01:07:47] And then they get mad at those lines. What? They get mad at those lines. They get mad. Oh, well, they get mad. I know. Well, and the kids that work up there are so good at what they do.

[01:07:57] And really all I want to see is pictures of Emily's goats. One of the girls who works there has goat. She keeps, you get to like a goat every week. Yeah. Shoppers must inform their nearest store via app when they plan to return the item.

[01:08:15] You have to drive the store, drive to the store, follow the instructions on the app, which will navigate them exactly where they need to be. A staff member will meet them at the allocated slot and pick up the refunded product. I don't know about this.

[01:08:27] I don't know about saying when I'm coming. The store already offers a drive up pickup service, which allows customers to collect the products they've ordered online without leaving their cars. It was a COVID thing. The retailer says it's been a major driver of online sales.

[01:08:46] I don't know about all that. That sounds like too much work. I'd rather just go in and they should want me to come in because I'll spend more money. Every time I go in targets and I'm going to get one thing, it all builds to $120. Here's some.

[01:08:59] Oh, I have another. It's none of your business. Oh, I moved that because it was about how to get back on Facebook. So we're going to close out. First, I'm going to tell you about a possum and then I'm going to tell you my feel good story,

[01:09:14] even though it's sad. Everybody should know this about possums. Don't judge. Okay. They're not a rat. They're North America's only marsupial. They should be worshiped. All right. They're super crazy looking, though. They should not be confused with the Australian marsupials, but they are marsupial. They are. Yeah.

[01:09:41] But when a possum mom has all the babies, they just ride on her back. Oh. Yeah. But they burrow in like they... They still got those weird tails on, right? Yeah. They grow to the size of a house cat. They are semi omnivores, although there's exceptions.

[01:10:03] This Wikipedia thing gets really hard. I tried to just do it down to the... Like all of the... Like that of all marsupials, the fur consists of on hair, softest thing I've ever petted. It was as soft as a cat. He was great. Roman was great.

[01:10:20] Many females have a pouch. The tails and parts of feet bear scutes. His hands look like hands. He had fingers. And his feet... The bottom of his feet was like a baby's skin. It was the softest thing I'd ever... But that he doesn't go out...

[01:10:35] How long did you spend with Roman? Well, I probably spent 10, 15 minutes with Roman. I mean, I had a show to do. I had to get moving, but... Wow. They will eat meat, but mostly they just like bugs and stuff. They have litters up to 20.

[01:10:56] This is the greatest part, though. They're usually solitary and nomadic, staying in one area as long as there's food and water available. They do not dig or put much effort into building their own little houses. They're nocturnal. They favor the dark. Where do they live?

[01:11:13] Just in the woods. Wherever. Yep. When threatened or harmed, they will play possum. A lot of people don't understand play possum. That's where that came from. It's usually when they're super scared, they go into this state, mimicking the appearance and smell of a sick or dead animal.

[01:11:30] This physiological response is involuntary, like fainting, rather than a conscious act. In the case of baby possums, however, the brain does not always react the way at the appropriate moment. Therefore, they often fail to play possum when threatened. When the big ones do it,

[01:11:44] there's a kid on Instagram that goes out in the woods and teaches you about an animal. He's a young guy. I love this guy. He found one that was playing possum and he picked it up. It looks totally dead. It takes about...

[01:11:54] It could take up to four hours for them to wake back up. Yeah. When a possum is playing possum, the animals' lips are drawn back, the teeth are barred, and saliva foams around the mouth. It's delicious. Yeah. Its eyes are half closed.

[01:12:07] The stiff, curled form can be prodded, turned over, and even carried away without reaction. He picks them up when he sees them. And Shoujo Tene teaches you how we gain consciousness after a period of a few minutes to four hours. They eat animals, insects, rodents, and birds.

[01:12:22] They also feed on eggs, frogs, plants, fruits, blah, blah, blah. Snakes? They eat all kinds of things. And this is the crazy thing. This is the craziest thing about possums. Many large possums are immune to the venom of rattlesnakes and pit vipers and regularly prey upon these snakes.

[01:12:39] So if you've got any rattlesnakes you don't want around, get these guys. It seems to be unique to the possums. The fur to lance one of the most venomous snakes in the new world may have developed its highly potent venomous means

[01:12:54] to prey or their defense mechanisms against large possums. So yeah, nothing wrong with them. Just don't want to hold them. I would totally hold Roman again. He was wonderful. Would not let Roman live in the house. They can't be. So I'm going to sign off here termites.

[01:13:16] And if you don't like sports, this doesn't even matter if you don't like sports because this is not really about sports. But so we had the same announcer in St. Louis and I'm hiding Fred Bird right now because the Cardinals are in last place

[01:13:27] and I find it completely unacceptable. I can't even watch. No. The Orioles are better for God's sake. I don't know. I'd start firing people. But we've had the same announcer in St. Louis. Well, we had and he just died. His name is Mike Shannon.

[01:13:49] My dad actually went to grade school with him. And I said, was he a great athlete in grade school? My dad goes, I don't know. All I remember is that they went to Nativity Catholic Grade School. He goes every year at the talent show

[01:14:02] his mother would make him take an accordion and he'd have to play our Lady of Spain and he never could do it. But he was such a nice man. And he was so funny and he smoked and he drank and he said totally inappropriate things.

[01:14:16] He didn't know they were inappropriate. He's my dad's age. And, you know, they just said shit. And one time I went in the Cardinals booth the only time I've ever been in the Cardinals booth by life I was invited in there and Mike is there

[01:14:28] and I couldn't believe it was Mike. Yeah. And he's like, so sweetheart, I'm just going to give you the mic and I'm going to go get myself a frosty coat Budweiser and he left for three innings. I mean, there was one. There was another man left.

[01:14:43] But I'm like, yeah, I didn't. Why don't want to announce a Cardinal game? I don't know how to do this. Where did he go? And I can't wait without sneaking things and shit. I mean, back then he so he just became the voice of summer

[01:14:58] and he hasn't been going on road games lately in the last few years. And I missed it. But they we called them Shannonisms in St. Louis and even if you don't care about sports, this is just some of the shit he said.

[01:15:11] He was so fun to listen to because he cared about the game, but he also. Okay, hold on. This is I heard this game live. We were playing the Mets broadcasting from New York under a full moon. Mike Shannon said this.

[01:15:30] I wish you folks back in St. Louis could see the moon. Oh, who's going to tell Mike? This is crazy. He said these things out loud on TV. Referring to Japanese pitching sensation, Hideo Nomo. He's the biggest thing to hit Japan since they dropped that bomb on Nagashima.

[01:15:55] What? There is. This is this is stuff that Jack Buck would just go. Jack Buck died quite a while ago, but Jack Buck will go. Okay, we're moving on. Mike goes, this is referring to a questionable ruling by an official score. Well, no one's perfect.

[01:16:16] Only one guy was ever perfect, Jack. And then they'll that guy to a tree. Meaning Jesus. Oh my God. Broadcasting on the day before Easter. I just want to tell everybody happy Easter and happy Hanukkah. Okay. All right.

[01:16:38] It's not Hanukkah at all, Mike, but we'll go with it. Okay. Okay. When Cubs Derek Lee took second base late in the game without a throw from the Cardinals catcher, Lee runs in the second that just let him go. They call that the runners in difference

[01:16:56] or something like that. Oh my God. Thank you. So they were in Montreal. This game is moving along at a pretty quick rate. Must have something to do with the exchange rate. Oh wow. Yep. Yeah. Wow. Referring to a young fan who was hit with a foul ball.

[01:17:17] Youngster is going to leave this stadium with that stupidity here today. Not a ball, but a nice looking bruise. I just loved him. Oh my God. He goes, okay. After a batter leading off in the ninth when his team was down by three,

[01:17:44] he took a mighty swing and missed. He was trying to hit a three run homer with the bases empty. To my knowledge, no one in history that game ever done that. But it could happen someday. You never know in this world of baseball. He does bad like you.

[01:18:01] God. Yes. This is funny too. When Mike, while Mike and Joe were discussing the unflattering photographs of players that have been flashed on the screen at another ballpark, Mike's take on the quality of the photo selection. Some of those guys' pictures look lately

[01:18:17] were taken while they saw their first UFO. The first one. A hit up the middle right now would be like a nice ham sandwich and a cold, frosty one. They drank through the whole game. It was so much fun. We need to bring that back.

[01:18:37] Let the announcers drink. Yeah. Maybe not smoking the booth. That's a little crowded, but you could dip or whatever. He's madder than a pig cut under a barnyard gate. Listen to this one. And he never got in trouble for this.

[01:18:54] He ran faster the second than a cat in Chinatown. These were on TV while the radio. Well folks, this game began as a tiny worm and it's blossoming into a large cobra. Oh my God. That's what he said. It's raining here like a Chinese fire drill.

[01:19:17] What does that even mean? Even though it shouldn't be saying these things. Meaning they're going fast. Here's, we owe you a station break. This one's for the folks living in Paris, Tennessee. You thought I was gonna say Paris. Kentucky! No, ha! No such luck!

[01:19:41] Boy, a frosty cold Budweiser would be great right now. Then you hear a long pause and you just hear, ah! Whoa! Who's your favorite cardinal now? I know it's hard. I like Donovan, the new guy. Yeah? Yeah. I'm gonna see if there's any. This is Japanese baseball players.

[01:20:09] So Taguchi who wears the number 99, unless you stand him upside down on his head then it's 66. Joe Buck. Mike, the Cardinals would like to welcome a group of 19 French foreign exchange students in section 382. Mike, where are they from? Joe? Joe, um, France I think.

[01:20:37] Just said French foreign exchange students. They're from France, Mike. That's about it. There's so many more. There's Shannonism. You can go online and just do Shannon. Shnotes. Our next homestand follows this road trip. All do, Mike. Uh huh. Yeah. But you know, he just was everything.

[01:21:02] It's like Chicago losing Harry Carey. I mean Jack Buck we lost him and then we lost Mike and Mike, yeah. It's just too bad. He was great. But how long do you expect the guy to go on the road?

[01:21:15] I mean some of my friends were complaining when he wasn't going on the road last year, maybe the year before that, I don't know when exactly he stopped. But I'm like, you know what, they have 100 and some of my games.

[01:21:25] You can't expect these old guys that are 83 years old to be packing their bag every day. You know, this is crazy. So there you go, termites. That's a little something for fun. Yeah, I miss the old school guys where they were not perfect.

[01:21:39] They were probably said offensive things. They shouldn't have been said, but they said them. And at the time, whatever. Made it interesting. Yeah. Mike, yeah. And he knew everything about baseball and he knew every kid. He knew every single thing about them. I mean these were Shannonism.

[01:21:56] These are like goofy things he said. He really did know everything about it. He was a cardinal. He was great. He was a great third baseman. And then we let him go in the booth and then he just stayed forever, which was great. But he knew everything.

[01:22:10] Like he did his research all the way up to 80 something like where he'd be like, so he got this new guy. But he would go spend time with that kid. And then he knew them in like the old school instead of the,

[01:22:25] I feel like the new guys, they're just reading shit off some computer ESPN site and regurgitating it. I don't like it. It's not as much fun anymore. So anyway, Charmites, there you go. That's a feel good story.

[01:22:37] Good for Mike putting in a good 50 some odd years in the cardinal organization. Our organization is he would say within our St. Louis accident. Sounds like my dad. That's a wonderful organization. It's for the fans. A hard day everywhere. Where am I going?

[01:22:52] You could come find me on the road in Ponte Vier draw. Charleston, Santa Rosa, California, Wheatland, California, Vegas this summer. That's in June. Atlantic City, July, I think or August, the Borgata, Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. You have never been Cape Cod Melody tent.

[01:23:15] Waited my whole life to get this gig. You guys better show up. Yeah. Yep. Boise, Idaho. That's the last place I was before COVID. The night before it's time to fly home and go what the hell? Well, I was told to fly home.

[01:23:28] I'm going to be off for a month. Reno. I love Reno. It's so sketchy. Sketchy. You could sit in a Reno bar for hours and just watch everything that happened and you would not be able to write it down fast enough. Hershey, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, Ohio,

[01:23:43] Eau Claire, Wisconsin where my cousin Mike said. Madison, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois and it keeps on going. But that's yeah, because summer is a little light because I'm going to have some fun. Yeah. I'm going to go do some cray-cray fun things. All of us.

[01:23:57] I've talked to the old people and the children, the little children into a little Gatlinburg Smoky Mountain. Yeah. Well, they won't be shooting moonshine, but I will. That's how an ant cat's going to have her fun. A little trip down to the old moonshine thing.

[01:24:15] Mom, here you go. Here's a cookware store. You go in there and find yourself a spatula that says, I love Smoky Mountains. See you in an hour. Dad, take the kids to the water park. He loves it. All right. That's all I got for you termites. It's springtime.

[01:24:36] It's trying, but not really on any way. Go devils will know by the time this airs if it happened or not. If not, I got to get behind Edmonton. Over the leaves? For Jan Arden. She's rooting for the West. Maybe my friend, Mike Wilmot is a Toronto guy.

[01:25:01] I don't know. He doesn't ever tweet about that. He's from that area. You got to follow Jan. That's right. I just want it to be a Canadian team. They need to win the Stanley Cup. I do not want it to be a team that is brand new.

[01:25:17] I think that's bullshit. It took the Blues 50 years to get there. Yeah. So I don't want to see one of these teams. I won't mention names. Crackin. That, you know, were developed and I love Seattle and I love their colors.

[01:25:31] And I love the name Crackin, but I don't think year one, somebody should put some governors on that crap. You can't be. I thought they did that after Vegas won. No, it's them talking too much about that. No one's going to do. All right, let's get to it.

[01:25:45] Ready?