Episode 120: McDonalds’ Unhappy Meal, Disconnecting 411 & Piloting The Wienermobile

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan, welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on. Termites! Episode 120! Yeah I know my voice is a little whacked, but I'm fine. Um, Episode 120 is great, right?

[00:00:35] I'm a lot more alert than last week. I apologize if last week's show was a little scattered. I'm scattered on cold medicine. What are you gonna do? Better, yes better. I had a coughing fit on stage, it was a little embarrassing, um, but other than that everything's fine.

[00:00:50] Everything's fine. West Virginia was so much fun. Drove over the Shenandoah River. People have no idea that you can leave Washington DC and within an hour and 15 minutes be in the hills of West Virginia and the Shenandoah River is really as pretty as John Devers says it is.

[00:01:08] Yeah there's rocks in it everywhere. It looks like you could just goof off there all day long. It also looks like in those, um, you know the British and early, what are early American movies? Early times. Early times ago you could just see Indians coming down in canoes.

[00:01:25] Like it's very scenic! It's very scenic. And DC was empty this week so note to all people who ever want to go to DC, go the week after New Year's Eve. There was nobody there.

[00:01:39] I've never seen it that empty in a great way like if you wanted to go in Smithsonian, you want to go do whatever you want to do. Just nobody around especially on the weekend. Then I went to the Old Ebbett Grill of course I did.

[00:01:51] I even invited, I invited Lewis down but he couldn't come. Like well it would just be me and Michael then, the opener. Sad times. I mean it's good for me and Michael. We'll eat all your food Lou, too bad. What do you like there?

[00:02:05] The Old Ebbett Grill has the greatest clam chowder, they have the greatest oysters and then their salads are all good. Ilew gets into the big meat, I don't know like the steaks and all that.

[00:02:15] It's an old fancy DC but the bar like if you get there about four before the work crowd, once set but they weren't even around. No? No even at five and six empty. Then there's another bar not far away called the Hamilton which I love.

[00:02:31] I went over there for a Guinness because I thought that would help my cold. Guinness fixes everything! It's for strength. It says Guinness is food on the head. Guinness is vitamins, Guinness is everything. I can't say that it helped but it certainly didn't hurt.

[00:02:46] Ha ha put it that way. So that was that and now let's take a careful termite business before we get into. I think the universe, it was a full moon and boy I could tell by a lot of my text. I'm like whoa shit!

[00:03:01] I'm like is it a full moon? And it truly was but for whatever reason the stars have aligned to bring me a ton of full Nelson Virginia paleo. Now here's the weird thing. I drank this at Thomas Jefferson's house.

[00:03:14] Well I mean I wasn't invited over by Tom's relatives. I mean in the bar they have a concession area at Monticello and they have wonderful beers to pick from and that's the one I picked.

[00:03:27] And then Kevin and Stephanie sent it to me in the mail and then it got left backstage. The six pack that was already been drank which is what I'm drinking now. You cannot trust me somebody backstage had more and felt it. I don't know what percent it is.

[00:03:45] I didn't drink that. I only drank two but they'll get to you. Careful and then Shanti brought that with jalapeno poppers. Would you like to try hers jalapeno poppers? Yes we would. Yes we would. Or hers they must be East Coastal right? Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania? Yeah I think so.

[00:04:12] I feel like I do this every week. Yep Nottingham Pennsylvania they have good products. These are good mostly hot. Yeah good for your cold. It's like a hot Cheeto. Yeah it's a Heato. It's a Heato. It'll blow. I like it that's a keeper.

[00:04:33] And then I got some hot sauce sent back. It always amazed me when the ushers are like will you be accepting gifts? Yes! Oh okay well somebody brought hot sauce. Yes they did. Yes yes yes. This is Brandy and Shadow termites.

[00:04:51] It's Fuzzy's Burning Butt Hot Sauce from Texas where the slogan is just eat me Fuzzies. Enjoy. Nice. Yeah they were very nice and I'm going to taste it. I have a cracker right here. Fuzzies from it's a taco shop. It says Fuzzy's Taco Shop. Never heard of it.

[00:05:11] Oh my god. It's hot. Yeah well it is good. I put too much. Yeah I would add this to buffalo sauce for wings. And then you'd have the perfect perfect hot buffalo wing sauce. The sauce makes all the difference.

[00:05:37] And then the last thing backstage it was Laugh which was very nice. We would love it if you'd come to Maryland. Well I've come to Baltimore a lot. This is from Ruth.

[00:05:49] And Maryland is the home of Old Bay so Lewis can brag about that because Lewis is from Silver Spring, Maryland. Look at this old bay. There's nothing better than old bay. You would think it's from New Orleans it's so good but it's not. No it's from Maryland.

[00:06:04] It's a seasoning. We've talked about it before on this podcast. Oh my god. These are old bay Cheetos. That sauce is getting bloody Mary's. The sauce in Bloody Mary's is ridiculous. So good. Wow. That's just beyond the pale. Five bucks for this whole bag that is cheap.

[00:06:22] I'd charge like twenty. I want you to eat one. Oh my god. Let me have a go on their website and see what else they make. Hers or Old Bay? No Old Bay. Hers makes these but they are using that's the real Old Bay. They're not cheating.

[00:06:39] It's definitely there was a conversation or an email had. So in scattered talk, fantasy football, I won the Children's League. Yeah. I destroyed a 12 year old's whole presumed dreams last night. It was a nail biter.

[00:06:57] It came down to it after we had a story about the injury points and the thing with the thing and then the guy got hurt and he seems to be doing better. That's good. Yeah. And you know what? I almost thought I'll let him win.

[00:07:11] And then I thought no, no, it's their first year playing. You got to learn how to lose correctly. He came in second. Was he nice? Yes. He sent a congratulations text which I'm sure tore every part of his heart into tiny pieces.

[00:07:27] It was probably the hardest thing because he's a gambler and he, yeah, I don't think he was happy about having to do that. But I said strong second showing. Nice. 12 year old 12 you just learned how to play. Yeah. Meanwhile in the adult league, I'm bad.

[00:07:42] I'm winning the losers bracket. Great. That's fifth place. That's not bad. Right. I'm out there because he's still getting points. He did fine. Yeah. It's like, I got me 17 points or something. Yeah. Better than a lot was a hard week to bet. And a new 14 year old girlfriend.

[00:08:00] Yeah. Does he have a new 14 year old girlfriend? We talked about her right. She might be 16. Shut up. We can't say she's 14. We're going to get a student for that. No, she's not. Everybody agrees. No. Yeah. But is it really a girlfriend?

[00:08:14] Wait till she finds out how much time he says studying the playbook. I don't want to play. I'm still here. Can we do something fun? No, honey. Why don't you play on tiktok? I have to learn 18 more plays by Friday. Okay. Okay. All right. So that was football.

[00:08:31] Moving on to, I have no queen news. Do we give a little shout out to Detroit? A little shout out to Detroit for a game well played and I don't like, I love Green Bay. I do not love Aaron Rodgers. I love the city of Green Bay.

[00:08:44] I love St. Brendan's a pub and I love the idea of the Packers being home by the people. He though is a whiny little pain in the ass and now we're going to have to listen

[00:08:54] all till next August is Aaron coming back and then he'll do podcasts and he'll be weird and have you like, I don't know. Sometimes you got to get off the carousel but then sometimes you went back on the carousel.

[00:09:06] Like just, I wouldn't even, if I was Green Bay, I'd say we're moving on. They're back up. Yep. I ain't doing it no more. I don't care. He's a papa. He's old. Him and Tom. This is it. This is the last call. Too old.

[00:09:20] Especially when you see those young quarterbacks running. Sorry, this is so much sports talk but it's the end. So there will be no more football talk and I don't really care about, well I care about hockey a little bit. Well the Super Bowl, right, right. Yeah.

[00:09:36] Which I think will include the 49ers. Yeah, make your prediction. My prediction is San Francisco, Kansas City. Not the Eagles. No. Really? I think San Francisco will beat the Eagles. Wow. I know my sister-in-law will hang me if she ever hears that but I just think

[00:09:55] I have a lot of faith. I like Jalen Hurts too but either which way it's going to be against Kansas City and I predict the NFC team will win. Wow. You heard it here first. Remember, I have no statistical knowledge.

[00:10:09] This is all based on feelings, sometimes colors, sometimes personalities and players. No rhyme or reason. Do not take this into your gambling portfolio as serious advice. No. I don't have any queen news except Cher's been running around with that youngster. Good for her. Is she engaged?

[00:10:30] She put up a picture of a ring on TikTok and everybody went crazy but it didn't say she's engaged to him. It could just be any ring she had in a box in her house. We don't know.

[00:10:41] Let's talk about for one minute, no I'll give myself five minutes and I know time, Harry and Megan. No! Stop. I, because football was over, it cruised right into Anderson Cooper's and I don't like when Anderson Cooper, so let's say I

[00:11:02] say to you, so paddles, you had a good Thursday. Answer the question. Yes I had a good Thursday. So you had a good Thursday? Yeah. That's just what you just said. Oh my God, he does it every single time. So you don't think your family is racist?

[00:11:16] Harry is going to be like, no, I don't think they're racist at all. You don't think they're racist? He just said that! Oh my God, it drives me absolutely nutty. But Harry and Megan, first I his initial thought. There's a reason therapies private.

[00:11:34] Okay, not everyone wants to attend your session. Not everyone cares. I don't know why we're supposed to care about this but obviously I got sucked in to his interview. I don't get what he wants except to sell books I guess.

[00:11:51] I mean, he says what I want, this is my favourite. I'd really like a relationship with my father and my brother. Excuse me, I've got ten more interviews to go call the mothholes in. I'll be right back.

[00:12:02] Maybe after I do that, I can come back and give him a ring. If I'm them and I'm not a fan of the Royal Family, I have no dog in this fight but you're the one on every channel that will take

[00:12:17] you, calling them all pieces of shit and then gaslighting them and going, why didn't you call them racist? Oh fucking yes you did! We all heard it on Oprah. Maybe you didn't use the word racist, you said they're concerned about his skin colour and his or hers.

[00:12:31] What's a kid going to look like? So you're implying for two weeks, for weeks you let that go. That Oprah interview was a hundred years ago and now you say, well the British, he just seems so angry like this shit that he's mad about too.

[00:12:47] I'm like, oh, oh, he had a better, growing up he's like he had a bigger bedroom than I did. Yeah, he's the oldest. What? Yeah, he's pissed off about that. He's pissed off that he has a better apartment.

[00:13:00] Well here's the other thing, not only is he your older brother, he's the king, motherfucker. You ain't. Sorry, that's the way the ball drops. You know, I would get so comfortable in that spare position. That's why I don't understand why he dislikes it so much.

[00:13:18] I would own that. Oh it's great, it's being the Vice President. You don't have any responsibility but all the perks. Nobody cares what I do, I flip flop around, I do a cause right here and there and yeah, you know, try to help people and then run around.

[00:13:32] They got in a fight, a quote brawl in a kitchen and Harry, William supposedly shoved him and ripped his necklace off. First of all, don't say that if you're in a fight. Okay, just don't, just let that part go.

[00:13:49] Then he fell over and hurt his back on a dog bowl. I mean, these are things, I could show you shit that happens in my family reunions that are 50,000 times worse than this and no, everybody just wakes up the next day and go,

[00:14:00] well he deserved it or I deserved it. You move on. I just really don't understand... Why you write a book? Well I don't, I don't understand what the goal is. You want to be free, you don't want the press attacking you. Well, what are you doing then?

[00:14:16] Shut up. She's attacking back. They're attacking back. He's mad about everything. He's mad about the royal family, he's mad about his father, he's mad about Camilla, he's mad about the anger. And he's mad that they didn't accept her so he says.

[00:14:31] But I'm like, did we forget about the $7 billion wedding they threw you people? No, she didn't. I mean come on, the two of you got a wedding, what do you think that thing cost? Google it, see how much a wedding costs? A wedding?

[00:14:44] No, their wedding, Harry and Megan's. How much did that cost the British taxpayers? Because I don't believe in the royalty thing at all. I'd cancel it. But... 32 million. 32 million dollars. Pounds! Pounds, pounds, which is even more, right? The majority was spent on security.

[00:15:05] The majority was spent on security. Then he's bragging... Her dress was 400,000 pounds. Her dress was 400,000 pounds. I mean you can't say these people weren't playing along. It's not like they said, go to Vegas to the Elvis Chapel, we're not doing this. I mean they participated.

[00:15:22] And then when he initially said, well some of the older people in my family, he's implying they're racist. So I'm like, right! Wouldn't... It's like when Paula Deen threw the N word around everybody went, oh my god, like my friend Vic said,

[00:15:36] you go ahead and find me some old lady in this house who's over 65 years old, white lady, they've done plantation all her life. He's not a racist. And I will be surprised. I will be shocked and I will congratulate said person. It's the same...

[00:15:48] So I believed you when you said they seem racist, I would think, yeah probably. But what are you going to do about it? I do not understand what the goal is here and I'm not sure he understands. I don't think he gets it. I'm not sure Megan understands.

[00:16:07] I don't know... Sorry that they know... Megan wants... Celebrity, she wants celebrity. I know that. She wants to be a disruptor. Oh! A disruptor. Disruptor, it's like the new fraudster. Fraudster. Disruptor. Shitster. Upper. Exactly. What is the point? And here's the thing. Okay, Harry.

[00:16:31] And then she's going to write a book too, I read. I don't know if that's true. I don't know what is left to say. But the movie, the Netflix thing, I could not make it through that. I just don't care enough. But what do we do after this?

[00:16:44] You said your piece, you've said all these horrible things about Camilla, your father, Prince Philip, all of them, threw everybody under a bus. Did not say anything shitty about the corgis. Because I think we all know corgis are wonderful little dogs. They're great dogs.

[00:17:02] He called Windsor Castle a death cult. A death cult? Yeah, a tomb. Their family lives in a tomb. Just because there's dead people in the walls. Hello! Castle. What castle doesn't have dead people in the walls? This is the whole point of the castle,

[00:17:22] to house the dead at the famous, I don't understand at the end of the day. Okay, go ahead. Throw everybody under a bus. Live in Montecito. Boring. Whatever. But what's your second act? What do we do now? You said you didn't want to make money off,

[00:17:44] all you've done is make money off of talking about them. So what's next? Causes? I'm not a manipulated person enough to know how to work this system. I would need to call my friends in publicity. They would be able to tell you what your next act should be.

[00:18:01] Yeah, I don't think like that. But the Anderson Cooper one, I just, and then there was one, he's gaslighting himself. Who does that? He's like, I never said they were racist. Oh my God, do you want me to replay this tape of Oprah?

[00:18:15] Maybe you didn't use the word racist, but you certainly implied. But she said, are they racist? And you said, yes. Yeah, well, and she said, are you saying that they were implying the color of the skin of the child would be problematic? And Megan said, well,

[00:18:31] I didn't follow up on that, but your assumption seems to, I mean, all right, that's enough wasting our time on Megan and Megan. Do you feel better? I do feel better. I just need to get that out. I want to know what the termites think.

[00:18:46] What is their end goal? And what's next? You've already used an abused Netflix. They're not doing that again. Spotify, you gave them 30 minutes of content and they're not going to do it. Okay, so what speaking engagements is somebody going to give them 50 grand show up? Talk about what?

[00:19:07] Oh, and then this is the most egregious. Forget about the family gossip. He had, I don't know if he wrote it in the book, but I heard him say it in the interview that he killed at least 25 Afghanis, Taliban, when he was in Afghanistan.

[00:19:23] And he said he didn't feel good about it. He didn't feel bad about it. He just felt like they were chess pieces. The Taliban then responded, well those chess pieces now rule Afghanistan while you fled back to your grandma's house. Whoa! But here's the other thing.

[00:19:41] You just put yourself at risk. Now you've pissed off the Taliban and your Invictus games. The security people have already said, holy shit, now the security is going to have to be quadrupled if not bazoopled, whatever, because you've pissed off, you called them out, you embarrassed them.

[00:20:00] Why would you do that? Why, why, why, why, why? I don't understand the point of these things. Well, I think he's getting caught up in his own stories. Like my dad is a lawyer judge always said, too many details and if you're lying you're going to forget them.

[00:20:15] So shut your mouth if you're lying and if you're telling the truth, keep telling the truth because it won't change. But this story keeps changing and trust me, I'm not a fan of Charles or Camilla or Charo. I love Charo, not Charles, but I love Charo.

[00:20:36] Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay! Alright, moving on, update! I only have one update this week. What? I know, it's weird. So, I think, Terbites, on this podcast we try to have fun, we try to learn things and we try to be cutting edge.

[00:20:54] And do you know what we are cutting edge out? Nobody else, nobody else is following the Bed Bath and Beyond Mystery as much as this pub cat. Oh my God! The shares plummet after the company warns of potential bankruptcy. Yep, this is just out two days ago.

[00:21:14] Now we have talked about this ad nauseam I'm not going to go back into all my feelings of Bed Bath and Beyond but remember, my premise has always been they have too much inventory. Right, you like climbing ladders I like that comforter that's 15 rows

[00:21:29] from the top in between the purple and the beige and oh no! Then the whole thing tumbles. They warn Thursday it's running out of cash and it's considering bankruptcy. The embattled home goods real-tale is having trouble getting enough merchandise to fill its shelves. No, that's the problem!

[00:21:47] You have too much shit! When are they going to learn you can just have a few and order more. It's like they're hoarders! The whole store feels like I went into a hoarder's house. I don't understand why there's 9 million of the same pillow. It's drawing fewer customers

[00:22:09] to its stores and websites. Well, there's no one in the stores ever because I go into the one by my house all the time just to see if the guy with the squirrel in the bassinets in there. I like seeing the squirrel

[00:22:21] dressed up like a pioneer woman, no? I'm serious. He dresses his squirrel up like she's on Little House on the Prairie and the squirrel allows it. And you can feed it, he'll let you pet it, he raised it. Well, the squirrel doesn't take clothes off

[00:22:39] like a cat would rip that shit off. The squirrel just sits there very c- It's probably sedated, it's probably on meth or something. I don't know. But I go into the bed bath on purpose because the lady working at the counter said he comes in every day.

[00:22:52] So if I happen to go to the grocery store and I'm in there for five minutes just to see if you can. Just to check them out? Well, I like the squirrel. It anticipates in that loss of 385 million for the third quarter

[00:23:03] nearly a 40% jump in losses over a year. Over a year. They said worse than expected, sales issued a growing concern warning that in the upcoming months it will likely not have cash to cover expenses such as lease agreements or payments to suppliers. Well, if you're dealing with them,

[00:23:23] don't. It's exploring financial options such as restructuring, seeking additional capital or selling assets. Sell some of your pillows in addition to potential bankruptcy. Shares of the company was down about 14% in the afternoon after trading. Bed Bath Yon issued the updates in a pair of financial filings.

[00:23:42] The stock hit a 52-week low. Its market value has fallen to 162 million. So you could buy all the bed baths and beyonds for 162 million dollars? Wow. That's crazy. The CEOs said the retailers focus on rebuilding the business and making sure it's brand. So this is what they have.

[00:23:59] Bed Bath and Beyond, Bye Bye Baby. Oh yeah. I don't know it. And Harmon. I don't know that one. What's that? Bye Bye Baby's like Baby's the rest. It's got 1.2 billion in unsecured notes. Maturity spreads through 2004, 24, 34, 44. It's burning through cash. I can't, this is one where,

[00:24:28] okay you could keep, you know, you can keep it all technical stock stuff but all you got to do is walk into that place as a normal person. I am, I probably flunked Econ 101. I don't remember. No, I must have gotten through it

[00:24:41] because I didn't have to take it again. But I am not good at math. I'm not good at how to run a business but you walk into Bed Bath and Beyond and go this is a shit show. Shit show. Let's start cleaning up and selling some shit.

[00:24:54] And then we're going to get a smaller store. We don't need all this real estate. All right, there's your update. Just know you heard it here first termites. If you see a going out of business sale, get on in there because they are going to be selling tons

[00:25:09] when this comes down the pike soon enough. Keep an eye out. Drive by your Bed Bath and Beyond. Oh, I didn't even talk about what we were watching either. So I've been watching Yellow Jackets. I know I'm behind. And I love it. Lewis is watching it.

[00:25:27] He loves it. Love Juliette Lewis. I love everybody in it. Everybody. It's so good. The ending was so crazy of season one and now we got to wait till season two for, uh, till March for season two. 1923 the one with Helen Mirren and Harrison Ford. I like it.

[00:25:47] But not as much as I liked 1883 or Yellowstone. It's a little weird. Um, Yeah, it's slow. Lots of filler in the last one. But that's really the only, I don't have any other good shows. My friend Kelly McFarland told me to watch

[00:26:04] Do Not Pick Up The Phone or something. Don't Answer The Phone. I tried to start it but then I fell asleep. Too much cold medicine. So I'll start that one and tell you what, what is thought here now. Holy shit! They found it!

[00:26:20] A man found a King Henry III gold penny worth 875,000 within 15 minutes of picking up a metal detector. What? Yep. One of the strangest tales of good luck in serendipity is that of a father who was encouraged by his family to pick up his

[00:26:36] metal detector after he'd stopped metal detecting for many years. Hello, Vicki Madigan! Hello, Mom, Mom! He's from Devon. Michael is his name from Devon, England. Whoa. He used to be a keen metal detectorist until family life took over. The metal detector was regulated to the past.

[00:26:56] However, one day his wife and kids suggested he take it out. He had bought a new metal detector and tried it in a field in Devon. It was his first outing after 10 years. I don't think my mom doesn't even know where hers is anymore. No.

[00:27:08] The field was farmland. Within 15 minutes he found a gold coin. He did not know if the coin was important or valuable. Anyway, so he posted a picture of it on social media. He was contacted by auctioneers at Spink & Sons because the coin he found was an extremely rare

[00:27:23] Henry III, King Henry III gold penny that he dated back to 1257. Holy shit! Wow! It's 800-some-odd years old. Yeah, it has a picture of King Henry III and was one of only eight coins discovered from that time period. Eight! That's crazy. Yeah, it sold at auction for $873,000.

[00:27:46] That's awesome. He split the proceeds with the owner of the land where the penny was found. That's nice because he didn't have to say where. That's really nice. Yeah. He said it's going to his kids future because without their encouragement

[00:27:58] he would have never picked up the metal detector. Did you hear that, Vicki? Madigan? Get out there. Get out there and see how it's a key beach. Come on, Mom. Holy shit! I found it. This is awesome. An enormous Viking hall is unearthed in Denmark.

[00:28:19] Those Vikings just didn't let up. No. Archeologists at the Historical Museum of Northern Jutland report that they've discovered an ancient Viking hall, the biggest one found in more than a decade. And unlike any other known to exist in the area,

[00:28:32] this is the largest Viking age find of it in... Wait, this is the largest Viking age find of this nature? In more than 10 years we've not seen anything like it even though it's only been partially excavated. We know we only had the opportunity

[00:28:46] to excavate part of the hall, but there are probably several houses hidden under the mulch to the east. A hall of this building rarely stands alone. In the halls late Viking age, heyday, the end of the 9th century to the beginning of 11th, it measured 131 feet long,

[00:29:02] 30 feet wide and the roof held up by some 10 giant posts. How cool would it be to recreate it and then go drink it in there? Make it a bar. In Caterna modern structures, most brown homes and townstones in town homes measure at 40 feet long and 20 feet wide.

[00:29:18] So it's three times the size of that. Compared to the homes of the Vikings' day, the hall was much larger than one of those luxury New York domiciles as it served as a gathering place for Viking guilds and political meetings just like in the show Vikings,

[00:29:33] probably my favorite show ever. Ever on History Channel. They're trying to find out if it belonged to the family of Runeveld den Rodseneld. I'm sure that sounds pretty good. It's awesome though. I think they should let people, I think they should recreate it

[00:29:52] and then let us go drink in there and pretend we're Vikings. It would be a lot more better than medieval times. Yeah, come on now. Uh oh! News! This is bad. But spooky. Crazy bad. Scientology leader David Miskevige nowhere to be found after lawyers

[00:30:17] tried to serve him in trafficking suit. He's on the run. His face is highly punchable and I'm not violent. It's smug. He's a smug little round headed thing. So they're trying to serve him with a trafficking lawsuit and he's hiding. He's apparently nowhere to be found

[00:30:40] as process servers search to serve the controversial figure with a trafficking lawsuit. The server has reportedly attempted to serve the mysterious 62 year old Scientology leader 27 separate times over 4 months in Los Angeles and Clearwater. Well, I'll be near Clearwater if you guys need any help. I'll try.

[00:31:01] Call Tom Cruise. I'm sure he knows where he's at. He said his house. BFFs. According to Daily Mail security guards on duty at the California and Florida Scientology properties were clueless when lawyers arrived in search of Miscovige. I mean, he could be on a ship.

[00:31:17] He could be anywhere. So this is when you got to put out a warrant. If you can't, if you're hiding, this is, yep, flush him out. The three plaintiffs in the lawsuit, Wayne and Laura Baxter and Velisca Paris have also since hired a private investigator

[00:31:32] and attempt to track down the elusive evasive church leader or get Leah Remini. She'll find them. Although Miscovige does not have a record, a recorded permanent address, his last known address was the church's international headquarters in Los Angeles. And court filings connected to the

[00:31:49] federal traffic and lawsuit against him. Two former Scientology members say Miscovige lives in a gated church community called Hacienda Gardens just outside of Clearwater. Well, Hacienda Gardens? It sounds like an old Florida place that needs a little work. That's what it sounds like.

[00:32:09] He, Miscovige cannot be permitted to continue his games. Gamesmanship said Neil Glazer, a lawyer representing one of the plaintiffs. Glazer also said Miscovige is taking part in intentional concealment of his location and evasion of service. I agree. They claim these people that are

[00:32:27] the lawsuit against him, they claim they were forced to work on Scientology boats after signing a one billion year contract. That contract is so crazy. In exchange for no money. Well, that's not a contract. She also claims the one lady, she was a victim

[00:32:41] of sexual assault by church members while still a minor and she was locked inside an engine room when she was 17 as punishment for her mother leaving Scientology. I totally believe all that. Scientology spokeswoman has slammed the allegations against Miscovige and the church calling them

[00:32:55] ridiculous and the federal lawsuit is scam. Well then show up. Then show up. If it's ridiculous in a scam, show up. Ridiculous in the lawsuit is both a sham and a scam. And a pillow sham. Said they've already wasted the time, it's public record.

[00:33:15] He's due in court on January 20th but the charges remain pending until the church leader can be properly and officially served with the summits. Just keep running. He'll keep running. Yep, all over the world. Although I don't think they're as popular as they say they are,

[00:33:31] I think they inflate their numbers. There's always ads on football. There are ads on football. At least in the south. Do other termites get those? They're creepy as shit. Monday night football, yeah. Midwest and south. All of a sudden they're like boom.

[00:33:49] Like that weird music and then they're like do you feel there's something missing in your life? I'm like just the over bet. That's the only thing that's missing right now. I forgot the bet the over. Damn. Damn. All right. This is weird. This is super weird.

[00:34:09] Mysterious antennas are appearing in Utah's hills and officials are stumped. What? And they're not... They're not bullshit antennas like my parents TV antenna. These are real. Wow. So who's doing it and why are they doing it? Strange antennas have appeared in the foothills around Salt Lake City

[00:34:31] and authorities have no idea what they are or who put them up. As first reported by KCL TV 5 in Utah, people began noticing the antennas a year ago. I remember this but then it stopped I thought. They're simple machines made up of the row fiberglass antenna,

[00:34:49] a lock battery pack and a solar panel to power it. The Salt Lake Public Lands Department has been pulling them down as soon as they find them but there may be over a dozen of them. Oh my God. Who would do this? Why?

[00:35:03] It's illegal to place structures on public lands without permission and some of the antennas have appeared on steep peaks. How are they getting up there? Goats? And then the goats are going to erect them once they're up there? Exactly. Alien goats. In one instance,

[00:35:21] the removal of one antenna required a team of five people. What? Yeah, it's intense shit. You should see the pictures of it. It's initial. Other antennas were found on the land managed by the University of Utah in Forest Service. That's bizarre.

[00:35:37] We really didn't have the bandwidth to look into it or remove it a year ago and now there's no identifying marks on the antenna that they'd been bolted into the stone required special tools to remove it. We honestly didn't even open the box.

[00:35:51] We just wanted off the hill. Well, what? I don't know. What's it doing? I mean, is it bothering anyone? I guess you're just not supposed to do it. You're transmitting. But somebody's transmitting something, right? They're trying to figure out why. One is on the top of Mount Wire

[00:36:09] which is more than 7000 feet. Oh my god! Right! He said the trip to mountain would take about an hour but it would be a super hard hike. One person could do it but it would usually take two trips unless they're really strong.

[00:36:21] The three main components of our suitcase size plastic weatherproof case for the electric equipment for the battery and the router. It was about 50 or 60 pounds. Did you carry 60 pounds up 7000 feet? No. They put a 30 pound flatjacket on me in Afghanistan and I started crying. The women's were 30 pounds

[00:36:44] and men's were 50 or 60 depending on how many grenades I had attached to me. And I'm like, I'm good. I'm going to go with the no-grenade package. Look at that. They used to think it was a cell phone booster and there's another theory online

[00:36:58] that the antennas are part of a cryptocurrency mining operation! Oh! Helium is a type of cryptocurrency that uses antennas to create long range wide area network instead of proof of work releasing token rewards. Helium relies on proof of coverage. Wow.

[00:37:15] I don't know where the crypto children do this. That's crazy. Um... This guy who's in charge of all that said he'd heard of crypto before the incident but he didn't take any interest in it. I knew Matt Damon was advertising it on TV

[00:37:29] and the Super Bowl. That's about as far as I got no one about crypto. Yeah, that dumb ad. I have a joke about that in my ad. So... we're going to keep that in our mystery file until we find out what the hell... It's weird!

[00:37:47] Who is doing this? There must be... You must be a reason to gain something. You're not doing it for shits and grins. It's too much work. Now, speaking of... Shits and grins... This is... This is how our society ends. This is how we...

[00:38:05] This is the beginning and the end. Oh no. Uh huh. There we go. Caesars in Las Vegas is offering a package called the Emperor's Package. That's a dumb... I'm sorry, just Emperor Package. Emperor. It's $5 million. What? Here's what you get. After learning about another Adele residency event

[00:38:33] in Las Vegas it cost an eye watering $5 million, fans were incensed. When the first Las Vegas Grand Prix tickets rates were announced with ordinary seats costing roughly around $2,400 eyebrows quickly began to raise. Now, I don't think most Americans are Grand Prix people. Euros.

[00:38:57] And all the Euros are commenting on what I'm about to tell you going we could just go to a Grand Prix the Grand Prix race in Europe for... But because it's in Vegas and we've never had one it's $2,500

[00:39:13] is a ticket. But I don't even know what that includes because I've never been in a car race in my life. I don't have not been in a NASCAR I've not been in any car. I guess they shut down the streets. There's nothing compared to the Caesar's

[00:39:25] Entertainment $5 million Emperor Package which this is what you get. Two tickets to witness rolling in the deep Hitmaker in Sin City for her weekends with Adele shows but you get 12 seats to the Formula One race What's 12 times? It's $2,500. $3,000 That's $36,000 We're a long way away from $5 million

[00:39:49] The Ultra Exclusive VIP Package Not only do you get two Adele tickets but you get 12 Paddock Club Tickets I don't know what that is A Five Nights Stay at Nobu Sky Villa A Private Dinner with Chef Nobu Matsusya And a 24 hour butler What? Unless that butler is like

[00:40:15] a dead person come back to life We're like holy shit Our butler's Elizabeth Taylor Adele fans criticize the cost of the fact the package came only with two tickets to her concert on twitter after hearing the pricey package offer Obviously horrible that F1

[00:40:31] Formula One is even permitting this said one fan who was frightened and surprised by the news I'm not frightened by it Some idiot will buy it People don't make these packages up unless there's a buyer They float them out See if somebody will do it

[00:40:49] There's always an idiot Why would I think about attending a race in the US when I can simply travel to Europe to see one at a fraction of the price which includes flight and lodging The two residency tickets for the Easy On Me

[00:41:01] singer according to the second individual who made fun of the package truly cement the deal as if they were on the fence about why you would spend 5 million and where are the seats I need to know that too Some pointed out that the package includes 12 tickets to each

[00:41:17] perk but not to her concert you only get two to that This is the people who are just screaming this is so stupid The CEO of F1 defended the ticket rates while many others criticized the whole cost of the package

[00:41:31] due to how much it cost because this is Las Vegas this is the nature of the client that visits Vegas in terms of pricing placement we're going to be on the top side It was only last week that it was revealed that Adele made

[00:41:43] roughly 13 million over the course of the previous year I would have thought she'd make more 13? But she canceled a lot Yeah, a lot Her net worth is 220 million This is Vegas though Would you go? Would I go see Adele? Sure Would I pay what they're charging now? No

[00:42:11] I don't care enough I'd pay 500 That's my max I mean I like her Who knows if she feels like her Share Share went I saw the video on TikTok She was trying to lay low and walking past the sound board but somebody realized it was share

[00:42:33] and was like holy shit share is here Good for her She seems fine I'm going to wait until she's like 55 and she costs $300 So she's in my age and your money comes down Yeah I don't Now here's great news Delta

[00:42:58] This is why I fly Delta whenever I can If possible They're wonderful The employees are so nice Free wifi starting on February 1st Boom! Now to save me $60 a month For everyone? Yeah They're great They have a new CEO They used to have a CEO

[00:43:20] and they memorized his speech on Delta It was like hi My name is Richard Anderson I'm the CEO of Delta It's a big global I'm like you stop Everybody understands global Big and then I would just do it to be annoying to the opening act

[00:43:38] Big, global, giant, enormous Humongous, humongous However you say it This airline is so incredibly large It is mind boggling But Richard was my friendly face He has since been Because it's on the video when you sit down and I'm on Delta basically every week And now it's Ed

[00:43:58] Yeah Delta airlines will offer free wifi starting February 1st after years of studying the possibility Now you have to pay for go-go in flight If you haven't flown lately At least on Delta You gotta pay for go-go in flight $60 a month

[00:44:14] But I fly enough that it's worth it They offer day rates I don't know 8 bucks or some shit But it's kind of bullshit I don't know Come on About 80% of Delta's domestic fleet will offer the service next month But it will become available on more planes Each week

[00:44:36] Ed said during a presentation at Consumer Electronics show in Vegas on Thursday They said It's his sponsorship through who? T-Mobile! That's right Look at me and the ghetto crew coming through Yeah, that's right You can thank us, Android T-Mobile people It's gonna be available on the end of 2023

[00:44:56] And on international and regional aircraft by the end of next year It's free! There's no fine print, Ed said We've invested over a billion dollars to create this It's great! There's no catch Delta's plan to make internet access free will ramp up pressure on rival airlines

[00:45:12] Compete for customers and travel Rebound following the COVID pandemic Slumped nearly three years ago Delta's executive repeatedly said that the airline's aiming For higher paying customers Premium cabins like business classes Outpays revenue growth Yeah, that's all you need to know out of that Also, Delta will be unveiling

[00:45:30] Its new in-flight entertainment system Starting this summer Passengers preferences will travel with you From flight to flight, they'll remember you They'll even remember where you left off In a movie What a fast forwarding Well, they're really just thinking of people Like me that fly every week

[00:45:48] I don't think normal people would care about all that No They're working with Paramount Plus For passenger entertainment As well as American Express Yeah Paramount Plus is doing well Yeah, they're kind of up some shows Go for you, as Rocky the poor would say Go for you

[00:46:08] Uh, this is freakish Alarming We're gonna put this in a category of Alarming Alarming No, because when it's alarming You have to be moving calm Great Salt Lake Is set to evaporate Within five years Didn't it already evaporate? No, it didn't already evaporate No Panels No

[00:46:40] It's gotta be one of the weirdest things I've ever seen on the road It looks prehistoric Yeah, it does It's just sitting there It's just deep as it And then it's weird and the colors Strange I don't understand any of it There's a lot of science involved

[00:46:58] I don't want to know It's like a blue fish tank color It's not green Utah's Great Salt Lake will disappear within five years If left alone is an ongoing mega Drought and failure to replenish it Has left water levels plummeting by 73% Coalition of scientists have called

[00:47:14] On the state to enact emergency measures To save the Great Salt Lake Warning that unless it sees a dramatic increase In inflow within a year The lake will be gone by 2028 Yeah It could cause immense damage To Utah's public health environment And economy

[00:47:32] The choices we make over the next few months Will affect our state and ecosystems Throughout the west for decades to come A dire warning comes after the driest summer on record Caused water levels in the lake to hit historic lows Amid a mega drought devastating the west

[00:47:44] I don't know what's going to happen It's lost 73% of its water It's now 19 feet below its average Here's the other thing though It's shallow 35 feet is its deepest point I knew it was shallow Because you can keep walking out If you dare

[00:48:04] Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk It never seems to get deep More dry lake bed getting exposed Could also send an arsenic Lace dust into the air Breathe by millions Breathing in high levels of arsenic Can cause us our throat irritated lungs

[00:48:20] Arsenic poisoning or even death The scientists will Said the lake will need an additional 1 million acre Feet of water Or 326,000 gallons Per year to reverse The slump Well I mean How come we haven't been a little bit More on the ball about this till now Covid

[00:48:44] We all have that excuse It's going to affect wildlife It's going to expose the next Any spot for pelicans which are Many birds that depend on the lake I don't know Mm-hmm It's bad Brian shrimp in the lake support A 57 million dollar industry in Utah

[00:49:06] But in the coming years less water The salinity too great for even For those creatures to survive Wow It's not on the edge of collapsing It is collapsing The whole ecosystem Yeah drive on out if you're out west And you want to see it before it's gone Yep

[00:49:27] Just saying alarming What's Papa Vanga got to say about that Anybody say anything about that How about you Noster Thomas How do you feel If you're living in Japan In Tokyo Governments going to offer you $7500 per kid To get out of Tokyo And go where

[00:49:51] There's no room in Japan And go where You sound exactly like I think the meeting would start That's how the town hall meeting would start Look we're going to give you $7500 per kid to get the hell out of dodge Where are we going to go Well calm down

[00:50:09] Calm down No Depends on how many kids you have Two kids is $15,000 $4,000 to $30,000 Yeah I moved When Six years ago I moved to truck full of shit from LA to Nashville How much Not that much I mean comparatively $6500 for everything Did it arrive in a good condition

[00:50:35] It was kind of one of those bargain basers deals They just threw shit And they threw shit in that wasn't even mine I had an Indian altar Yeah I was like Indian families And I felt bad because I'm like this is their religious stuff Right

[00:50:49] And I called it was Russians I mean not all Russians are bad But there it's a Mexican It was Mexicans that do it locally But then behind the scenes I didn't trust any of it And Svetlana every time I'd call and go Shit she'd be like Kid

[00:51:07] Calm down kid You will get your furniture kid Cause I tell him my name is Kate cause Kathleen's too hard They don't understand it So I just say Kate cause everybody goes Everybody gets Kate And so then When finally The one driver quit mid route

[00:51:25] And he told me he was a Russian He goes I quit I have no work for the company No calling my cell phone anymore Fuck And I don't even know if my shit was in Oklahoma or somewhere And I don't even have anything that's that

[00:51:37] Valuable but it's stuff I need to live Like a bed So then When I received I received an Indian altar And clearly A white Man's desk Yeah cause it had like An ashtray and a ball Signed by some Ball player everything was very masculine And it was a

[00:52:03] Desk and I'm like this ain't my stuff And then but the Indian altar I felt bad So I called the Russian Svetlana back and I said you know what I don't know what happened But I have somebody's Indian Alters you will leave we will come

[00:52:17] On our own time kid We will come for altar they never came It's all a scam But whatever my shit got here Anyway here's where you're gonna go In Japan paddles Stop you're the first Overreactor at the town hall meeting Where are we gonna go

[00:52:35] Calm down just hear the idea Out before you get all snappy You wanna go be a farmer No Japan's government is offering $7500 per child to families Who move out of greater Tokyo and attempt to reverse Population decline in regions

[00:52:49] In their regions they have regions like I keep saying About this country can we get some people To move out of Chicago just an hour 40 To those cute little towns there's nobody Just saying The incentive I'm gonna read this Like I'm a calm professional person

[00:53:03] At a meeting unlike yourself paddles You just calm the fuck down The incentive a dramatic rise from The previous relocation fee Of 300,000 yen will be Introduced in April according to Japanese media reports as part of An official push to breathe life into Declining towns and villages

[00:53:21] Now with the use of wifi And the editorial statement I think it's a wonderful idea Although Tokyo's population fell for the first time Last year a trend partly attributed to The coronavirus pandemic Policy makers Be quiet You think this crowd needs to be quiet

[00:53:39] Or I'm getting bouncers to throw you out of this town hall meeting They encourage People to start new lives In unfashionable parts of the country That have been hit by an aging, shrinking populations In the migrations of younger people to Tokyo Osaka and other big cities

[00:53:55] The payment which comes on top of the Which comes on top of Up to 3 million yen already available In financial support We offered his families to live In 23 core wards of Tokyo Other parts of the metropolitan area And neighboring communities of Satamaya Chiba Kanagawa To receive benefits

[00:54:23] You have to move outside the greater Tokyo area Although some could receive cash if they relocate To the mountainous areas that lie within the city's boundaries How fun would that be? Do you want to go be a rice paddy farmer?

[00:54:33] No I want to go to the mountains and raise goats Do you want to be a Japanese goat? Hold on 80% of the total have joined About 1300 municipalities 80% have joined the scheme Hoping to capitalize in a shift Of quality of life that gained momentum during the pandemic

[00:54:51] When more workers discovered the benefits Of working remotely See They must live in their new homes for at least Five years and one member of the household Must be in a work Or plant to a new business Those who move out before years will have to return

[00:55:07] The cash That part Five years is a long time How about three? Let's count for pause You should be in all anti No I'm pro but you can't Make people commit to something they may absolutely Hate for five years The Japanese are zero tolerance Yeah there's not

[00:55:29] They're hoping to have 10,000 people Move By 2027 To go farms To attract new residents Like yourself Like yourself paddles Japan's howled out towns and villages They're excited to charm rural life Easy access to under subscribed Child care C And in the case of Otari village And Naganoa The availability

[00:55:59] Of eligible men Like Alaska they're saying We got a lot of single guys Yeah There's no girls there You're thinking of China No I'm thinking of both No way you want a girl You know that I do not know that About Japan I do not know that Alright

[00:56:29] Termites how do we feel about this I think it's a great idea And I think we should do it in this country And get people out of these cities that are too overcrowded And spread out I do not understand why people

[00:56:41] On the East Coast can be so crowded And then I go to towns like York And East in Pennsylvania York, Pennsylvania Harrisburg You can get on the train to New York in two hours As a Midwest person That's amazing It's a miracle

[00:56:59] You know my only train ride as a child Was Abraham Lincoln's house And all I cared about was a gift shop McDonald's opens A highly automated restaurant in Texas Termites how do we feel about this I think the children will love that I like an Egg McMuffin

[00:57:19] You like your Egg McMuffin quick Well here's what's going to happen They've opened a newly A new highly automatic Automated restaurant in Texas Giving the customers a first look at the potential of fast food And then they talk about the pandemic We don't care about that

[00:57:38] About how they needed it They're testing content Here's what This is outside of Fort Worth Instead of placing an order via the mobile app And then either going into the restaurant Or waiting in the drive-thru lane Or the curbside park is about to get their food

[00:57:54] Customers can pick it up at the store's Dedicated drive-thru express lane Where it will be delivered via conveyor belt Since no one in this lane will be placing An order or waiting for a food Or a food delivery Or a food delivery

[00:58:10] And then in this lane we'll be placing an order Or waiting for food to be made The hope is that it will move much faster than traditional drive-thru lanes Yes! I love everything about this You like it? Yes! Fort Worth, the way my termites out there

[00:58:22] Go do this for us, take a video That's fantastic The interior of the highly Automated restaurant is smaller than the average McDonald's Consumers can Place orders at a kiosk Rather than go through a counter worker And they grab their food off a shelf So, if you go in

[00:58:40] That's what happens You order a kiosk and it just Who's making it? Staff don't have to take orders or regular Interact with customers So they're back there making the food I get it The technology not only loves us to serve our customers In new innovative ways

[00:59:00] This is if you go inside You go to a kiosk, not a counter I've seen that somewhere I did that! Canada! I did it in Banff Some have criticized it Arguing that McDonald's is opting to install Expensive automation Systems to replace employees However, they said the

[00:59:18] Test restaurant has a staff Comparable to that of any other store The difference is that all the crew Are focused on make-age and packaging orders That's fine! Absolutely! Let them do their work Then they don't have to deal with us The general public Right, you can hire

[00:59:39] You can hire a staff that is not Socialy So on the ball This is my favorite story That's it? No! It's a fantastic idea But I do think we should still have The ones with the play dates As a kid McDonald's was fun

[00:59:59] Those balls are full of COVID Those balls are full of COVID And snot and everything else But as a kid you don't care Kid me of the week I'm going to say it Oh video! Guzman! Who is he? He is El Chapo's son Baby Chapo He's baby Chapo

[01:00:21] But the problem is there are six baby Chapos El Chapo has six sons I went and told Chapo the cat That his son had been captured by authorities He did not react He just stayed on the porch swing Like I was high as a kite

[01:00:37] And I'm like serious news Chapo Your son This is what I love Narcos I love all the Narcos I've watched them all I can't wait for new ones Love them all Here's the thing I do not understand about our government Or any government at this point

[01:00:57] It took 900 cops They closed They had to close the airport They had to tell the residents To shelter in place All to capture Ovidio Guzman El Chapo's son Great name Ovidio I'm probably not saying it right I know I speak Spanish I speak French a little bit

[01:01:22] Nobody told me that Spanish Was going to be more popular than French I'm really good at a crossword puzzle Or ordering dessert Mexico Arrest Ovidio Guzman El Chapo's son City and Gulf by Violence What good does it do To arrest him when he has five more brothers

[01:01:40] And then they have kids We are not dealing with the problem correctly We already captured his father He's sitting in Colorado in a prison Yeah Okay, what'd that do? Nothing I don't Joe Biden is down there now And I'm like you better watch your step

[01:02:00] They showed the cartel coming to fight the cops Yeah It would be like if every redneck With a truck in America Just went 90 miles an hour down a highway And you were like holy shit Look at that, they are not

[01:02:14] They were just going to town to shoot people He has his own army Mexican drug leader Ovidio Guzman El Chapo Was arrested on leashing A violent backlash by gang Gunmen on Thursday that shut the airport In the city Of Culeacan as Authorities told residents to stay in door

[01:02:34] Now they had already arrested him in 2019 And they let him go because it caused too much shit Right And they are like fine, you can have him back This is ridiculous Defensed minister Luis Sandol Laval told the news That They had captured the 32 year old senior member

[01:02:54] Of the Guzman El Chapo cartel The arrest comes three years after attempting to detain him Ended in humiliation for the government Video shared on social media Which was unable to immediately verify they have been Sentence and appeared to show heavy fighting Overnight in Culeacan

[01:03:10] And the main northern state Of Sinaloa With the sky lit up by helicopter gunfire The city's airport was a target of violence With the Mexican airline Aeromexico Saying one of its planes had been hit by gunfire There is a picture of normal people The plane that had landed

[01:03:26] So you just think, hey I'm going back to Mexico City tonight They landed And they're all ducking They're all like, what the fuck No one was hurt Because they ducked He's become a key figure in the cartel Since he was the rest of his father

[01:03:42] He was briefly detained in 2019 But was quickly released To end violent retribution in Culeacan from his gang They just gave him back And they went, okay He's too much of a pain in our ass 29 people died Getting this guy What is the point

[01:04:00] And you know what I admire Is my point, if we ain't buying it They ain't selling it Who's buying all the meth and the fentanyl I mean America's buying some but we can't be buying it all We can make our own Right, there's people in Missouri

[01:04:14] Working really hard to make meth right now Right, we have a homegrown product A homemade pile of chemical Bullshit, you can So they gave him back The incident was embarrassing setback for the government Of President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador His latest capture comes before a week

[01:04:34] Before North American leaders Which they're there now One of the Mexican officials said Guzman's arrest was likely to prove a welcome addition To the US-Mexico cooperation ahead of Biden's visit The United States would offer a $5 million reward For information leading to the arrest Or conviction of a video

[01:04:50] It's not clear whether he'll be extradited to the United States Like his father, who is serving a lifetime sentence At Colorado's stupid max Wow I just do not understand But I can't wait for the movie It's gonna be so good But so what? We got him

[01:05:10] He's got five brothers Who's next? I don't know if they do it by age Or maybe they do it like Harry and Wills Who can push somebody over and land on a dog bowl You win This, we're gonna end with a feel good opportunity Okay

[01:05:30] This is for the children By the way The Idaho murderer The children Again have found a video of him At the vigil 99% sure it's him Yeah, you can go see the video online And that's the kids, the internet sleuths It's to children Put it in the notes

[01:05:55] Yeah, so much has come out about that But I still don't understand Why there was all that time before anybody called I don't understand why they said they're Unconscious When they'd been brutally murdered I think they're still working through it I think they're working through it too

[01:06:13] But here's a feel good opportunity Let me make sure is there anything I promised That I didn't talk about yet Cause I got some good stuff for next week too Hot dog Now I don't want to brag, but I have a picture of myself with the Wiener Mobile

[01:06:30] It was in a Kroger parking lot And I pulled up and lost my shit I would too And asked if I could have a picture taken I didn't get in it, I was, I could No, they just said you can take a picture of it

[01:06:42] Oscar Meyer is hiring a new class of Wiener Mobile All across the United States 12 lucky hot doggers Will earn a one year full time gig Behind the wheel of the Wiener Mobile Let's get this hot dog on a roll That's fantastic Here's what you gotta do

[01:07:00] The 27 foot long hot dog on wheels Sets out each year to spark some smiles With its iconic look, but only a select group Of 12 people will be invited To hit the road I could never drive this I could never drive My brother's Yukon Yeah

[01:07:18] No, it's been very long Sorry, I keep coughing I can't imagine Parking it Passing on a highway I would be like my mom I'd have to only make right hand turns Never turn into traffic That back button comes out though From now until January 31

[01:07:40] The graduates with a valid driver's license Can apply to join the 36th class of hot doggers The one time full time gig will cover An average of 20,000 miles In more than 20 states along the way They're 20 foot long You're responsible for maintaining a fleet Of six Wiener mobiles

[01:08:00] Creating social content for various brand channels And collectively handing out More than 250,000 Wiener whistles each year There's a whistle? I've seen it Just a little tiny hot dog with a whistle Each hot dogger will serve as official Oscar-Mair spokesperson at more than 200 events

[01:08:20] So you gotta go do press events Those chosen Will also give rides in the Wiener Mobile To hot dog fans of all kinds Including celebrities This is the kind of shit that I'll call my publicist with And then they know I'm not a serious LA person

[01:08:40] Or New York person People are like, can I get on the red carpet At the opening of Avatar? And I'm like, hey is there any way you could get me to Get one of those Wiener whistles And get on that thing And they're like, oh okay, what?

[01:08:54] Come on! Somebody gets to ride in the Wiener Mobile They hire 12 year Let's say what you get paid It doesn't matter if you're right out of college Lesson 1% of applicants are typically selected for the 12 positions Making it this really easier To get accepted into an Ivy League University

[01:09:18] To be granted acceptance Into Oscar-Mair's coveted hot dogger class Oh, it said all hired hot doggers will receive a compensation A competitive compensation package You should apply You're too old It says college recent college graduates You don't know what that means I know what recent means

[01:09:44] This is not my college career It was not recent Why don't you go sign up for one class? Well, what if I go back to college like I say And I go live in Knoxville or go live in Columbia, Missouri Your friend at Butler

[01:09:56] My friend at Butler will take me He said I could go I'm not real, I just go I want to go to I audit I audit history and stuff Things I like And then I could graduate And then try to get the hot dog job

[01:10:14] He would vouch for me Didn't I recently graduate? Fake graduate Termites I have to go pack some warm clothes Which I don't even know if I can find Because I'm going to Florida In a very adorable way Every comedian I know Has asked for tickets for their parents

[01:10:34] I'm like is everybody's parents Did they all go to Florida? Apparently so So I'll be Fort Pierce Uh Coral Springs Fort Myers St. Pete Then the following week St. Pete First I'll be dropping in on Jack and Vicki Nice Play a little golf with Jackalope Orlando

[01:11:00] The hard rock Um And then Parks Casino I think that sold out I'm not sure That's where sometimes the other Kathleen Madigan If you go on Twitter there's another Kathleen Madigan A very smart person who writes economic articles

[01:11:18] That are very difficult and I love it when people think that's me Like yeah She's very nice so Vegas, yep Scottsdale Talking Stick Favorite Casinos outside of Vegas It's so pretty It's so well done It's clean And for Casino sometimes they can get so skanky

[01:11:40] And I'm okay in skanky But it's so nice it is clean Their food is great They have great restaurants Wayne, Native American guy in charge of me He's just a wonderful wonderful wonderful soul And he's huge Yeah he's a big dude

[01:11:56] I'm gonna make sure of me and him with him I literally look 3 foot 2 I look like Brad Williams my friend Cause Wayne's just He's just awesome looking Like he's something out of a movie where you're like holy shit You're real Yeah he's striking Anyway that's enough of that

[01:12:14] So if you wanna come find me on the road And then Nashville to Rhyman The Holy Grail Yeah we did just dump some good seats too Because here's how this works People So there's gigs and then they hold back cops Marketing cops Press cops My cops

[01:12:34] The promoter gets cops And then as time goes by you go Do you guys need yours? Do you need yours? That's why sometimes when you go on seat maps You're like wait why are these four seats right here And they weren't here is that real

[01:12:46] I know people doubt that I would doubt it cause you're like well that hasn't been there No they're real Yeah so the Rhyman There's no bad seat in the Rhyman though It's like a church I mean it's church pews it really is church pews Who's opening Dusty Slate

[01:13:04] He's great This week in Florida will be My good friend Aaron Weber He will be doing both Florida's Yeah he's great Everybody that opens on the road With me is great I don't skimp What parks? Parks I believe is Michael Somerville See how my memory

[01:13:26] I booked these long long time ago I have to get these people well in advance Because they're funny people And they have their own shit going on Vegas is castle Vegas is castle Michael Somerville That'll be a good weekend for you Oh my god I know two casinos

[01:13:44] The Mirage and then off to another casino In Phoenix Alright termites you behave yourselves Happy new year Everybody's sick of saying that yet I know people are there already told me they were So you're pre super bowl Termites and if you're not a football

[01:14:00] At least like the food at the party Right? I'll be making my cheeseball Yeah Yeah my cheeseball And I don't know I will be home for that It's hard to work that weekend because it's so I don't know people now have parties on Saturday night It's weird

[01:14:18] You having a party? Well I'll come to your party I'm not having a party Yeah the cats don't like people Well maybe you shouldn't socialize for sure Baby cat is not interested Alright termites that's all I got So that's episode 120 Be good termites be helpful hamsters

[01:14:40] And that's it Night night termites