Episode 110: Fastest Drive-Thru’s, Van Gogh Soup, & The Worst Year To Be Alive

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, it's me Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink,

[00:00:13] pull up a bar stool, let's talk about what's been going on.

[00:00:17] Termites! Episode 110. Isn't that crazy? It is ridiculous. What are we drinking? Well,

[00:00:32] where did I go last weekend? Well, I went to Denver but I was a hubbinada there to go to

[00:00:38] Fort Collins, home of what? Fat tire beer, one of my favorite beers. I'm not drinking that right now,

[00:00:44] I'm drinking Princess Yum Yum, which is a beer that has raspberry in it. Usually I don't like fruit

[00:00:50] in my beer, guess what else I don't like? Pumpkin. Stop trying to put pumpkin in everything in October.

[00:00:54] Some of us are anti-pumpkin. Yeah, and Colorado Springs, both which were sold out and so fun.

[00:01:03] Great crowds, no problems. It was just wonderful. I got my friend Stephanie McHugh open in Fort Collins

[00:01:11] and then my old friend John Novasad, aka also known as Hippie Man. He's one of the funniest people

[00:01:18] ever. He was nice enough to come down and open the show in Colorado Springs. So fun, fun, fun,

[00:01:25] and then this week off to Grand Rapids and Detroit for two shows. So I think they're mostly sold out.

[00:01:34] Yeah, they usually will dump though. This is a little inside information for people too.

[00:01:38] All performer people, there's marketing comps that the venues hold and then there's the comps I hold

[00:01:47] which are tickets, right? But they usually don't release those marketing ones to like two weeks

[00:01:52] out, maybe a week out. The comps are released whenever I say. But so for any show, forget my

[00:02:00] shows but any show you might want to go to, you should always check back like two weeks before the

[00:02:06] show, maybe a week before the show online because they might have dumped the marketing comps that

[00:02:10] they don't need and then they appear on Ticketmaster. You also can't count on that.

[00:02:15] Well, you can't count on it. I'm just saying if you go on a seat map and you're like,

[00:02:19] oh, I don't want to sit way up in the nosebleeds, you know, check back. It's all I'm saying, paddles.

[00:02:25] Check back. Princess Yum Yum, delicious little beer from Denver. It is a fun name.

[00:02:32] And what are we going to try today? How about these? We're going to try Cheetos,

[00:02:36] hottest ever, Flamin' Hot Pepper Puffs. You know, they just can't stop making this hot shit.

[00:02:43] Oh my God. No, they're so hot. I mean, you could only one. That was terrible.

[00:02:57] I won't even save those for the kids. It'd just be torture here. And then I give them any water or

[00:03:02] soda here. Eat the whole bag. Oh, I got this because I went to Sam's in Denver and I'm not

[00:03:09] going to open this because I already did. I already know what it tastes like. But if you

[00:03:13] are in Denver, it's the greatest diner in the whole world because they have everything breakfast,

[00:03:17] lunch, dinner, and it's all available all the time. And the people that work there are so cool.

[00:03:23] I always go to the back bar. There's a couple guys back there that I like to chat with.

[00:03:29] But they have super good hot sauce. This is garlic serrano hot sauce. Wonderful.

[00:03:34] Just if you're in Denver, don't forget Sam's. That's my go-to.

[00:03:38] Delicious. What did you get?

[00:03:42] What did I get? Oh, well, I've had the Euro omelet before.

[00:03:46] Super great. Then they have open-faced, who has this anymore? Open-faced turkey with gravy

[00:03:53] on white bread. No way. It's terrible for you. Open-faced roast beef. Yeah, with gravy.

[00:03:59] Anyway, we're going to try a little, this is the most basic. This doesn't even,

[00:04:03] this almost looks like it's not real because Newman's own, they're dressing. He usually has

[00:04:08] fancy or bottles. Not that I give a shit, but I'm going to try his. It just says ranch. Like,

[00:04:14] there's no extra flair. It's just plain old ranch, which there's nothing wrong with that.

[00:04:20] But I don't know. Does he use bad things or all just good things? No.

[00:04:27] No. It's sour. Tangy. It's tangy. Well, these are the people that don't use real dairy. I mean,

[00:04:36] come on. If you're eating ranch, just eat it for Christ's sake. If you're going to be healthy,

[00:04:40] get a little vinegar. I don't know. They'll say, I can't read it. It's too small.

[00:04:48] I don't know. Scan to learn more. No, I don't care that much. I don't care.

[00:04:57] No colors from no artificial flavors. No colors. This is why I don't like it.

[00:05:02] You need fake shit in there to make it go whatever. I like a lot of his dressings,

[00:05:08] though. And it's all, it all goes to some charity. Yeah. His charity. I don't even know what it

[00:05:14] does, but at least he's doing something. Now is the other thing. The ladies at the post office

[00:05:20] got so mad at me. I haven't been there in a long time because I've been gone and stuff.

[00:05:24] And she was like, your shit piling up. You need to get that shit out of here. I'm like, okay.

[00:05:30] There's so many birthday things. I cannot go through them. I will go through them all eventually.

[00:05:34] But Rebecca from Indiana sent me a fantasy football t-shirt legend, which this year,

[00:05:42] this would not apply to me. It's so bad I've lit an extra Tom Brady candle. Look, he's got one over here,

[00:05:49] but I also have a little story about Tommy. Tommy Slimey. It's terrible the memes were so funny.

[00:05:56] They were like, you left your hot supermodel wife and children to lose to Kenny Pickett

[00:06:03] when he was yelling at every, they had him yelling at all the players on the sidelines

[00:06:07] going, I didn't leave my wife and children to lose to Kenny Pickett. But you know, now you watch them

[00:06:15] father as my, my grandpa would say, father time catches everybody. And when you're looking at a

[00:06:22] Josh Allen or Patrick Mahomes, and then you see Aaron Rogers and Tommy trying to run away from

[00:06:30] people. I mean, it looks like your dad being chased. They're not as limber. They're not

[00:06:35] I mean, neither one of them or Tom wasn't that fast to begin with. So thanks Rebecca. I love my shirt.

[00:06:43] This person, there's no hope for my, well, there's in the children's leagues, I'm destroying hopes

[00:06:50] and dreams. Those children, I hope they're all crying every Sunday, all of them because they

[00:06:54] need to learn young gambling is hard. It's hard and it tears your soul apart. And yet they all

[00:07:00] put in their $20 and they won't get it back. Nope. I'm not winning that league. Somebody way younger

[00:07:08] than me is to, I think it's my nephew Jack. This was super cool. Somebody sent $57 because I

[00:07:20] turned 57. Oh, Diane sent Dana Dana sent this to the imagination library. And then nice.

[00:07:27] Yeah. That's great. You get a little note from Dolly, my daddy was the inspiration for the

[00:07:34] imagination library and he told me many times that out of the dreams I'd fulfilled this program

[00:07:39] was one thing that made him most proud of me. So that's great. Yeah. I mean, not that it's

[00:07:45] nice for me to get presents, but I don't really need a lot of things. And you know,

[00:07:49] that's good. This made me laugh though. This person said it's what would Dolly,

[00:07:54] this is from Chris, I think. What would Dolly do stationary?

[00:08:01] Yeah, Chris. And then stickers, which I'm a big fan of because I put them all over my comedy notebooks.

[00:08:08] There's the nine to five girls. There's Dolly. Yeah, fun. And then amount of Vesuvius thing

[00:08:13] from Pompeii because I'm obsessed with that. And then yeah, so that is awesome. Thank you.

[00:08:21] And then backstage, somebody brought me this goat patch, but I didn't understand who.

[00:08:28] Sometimes it gets a little nutty backstage and then I always tell the openers they can

[00:08:33] have a beer or whatever, whatever to take, whatever they want, but and then everything gets mixed up.

[00:08:38] So I die of not open that. I like anything with goats. It's why Silky O'Sullivan's in

[00:08:45] Memphis is my favorite bar in the whole world. Why? Because they have a dive and goat tower in the

[00:08:53] their outdoor patio thing. They have live goats. Really? Yeah. And they climb up this tower,

[00:08:58] they don't dive off of it. People get so alarmed. Why would you let it do that? It's not going to

[00:09:02] commit suicide. It's a goat. It knows how far it can walk. It knows how far it can jump.

[00:09:07] But it's just fascinating to sit outside and have beers and they have those great music,

[00:09:11] great strip and grins. Memphis doesn't get enough love. I think Memphis should get more love than

[00:09:16] it gets. I don't know who sent that. My friend Judy Gold, very funny comedian, her friend Roy

[00:09:22] sent stuff backstage and I tried to go find him to say thank you, but the ushers couldn't track

[00:09:28] him down. But he made a $50 donation to the fire department that's in Colorado,

[00:09:34] but you also get this sash watch shirt because when you donate. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah,

[00:09:39] because the casino is right there. How great is that? So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[00:09:45] Roy, I tried to track you down. Don't think I didn't try and it just didn't happen.

[00:09:50] And then Cheryl and Fort Collins left me an ornament, but I got to find it. So I haven't

[00:09:55] found that, but I will find it. And I got a shit ton of cards. I'm not going to go through them

[00:10:00] all because it might be boring to you guys, but I did get them all and the post office

[00:10:04] ladies are no longer mad at me because I've cleared up my shit.

[00:10:09] They're like, what is all this shit? One time I went up there and she's like,

[00:10:13] what do you do for money? And I was like, ah, you would it doesn't matter. And she's like,

[00:10:19] I mean, you do bug stuff or something. And I go, what? She goes, well, a lot of these packages

[00:10:25] say termites. You like a buggy sting which is something I said, no, I'm not. I have a guy

[00:10:33] for that. My friend Steve, killer Steve comes over and kills my bugs. Yeah. But the things they

[00:10:38] turn my time. So it makes me laugh. All right, let's get moving on. Let's get into this. We have

[00:10:43] Queen news. Oh my God, yeah, Tennessee beat Alabama. And why do we stop? First of all,

[00:10:51] I don't even know enough about cultural, but I know my brother has told me for a solid

[00:10:56] 20 years why I'm supposed to hit hate next Saban in Alabama. Because I'm like,

[00:11:00] what is your problem? Who cares? Alabama doesn't have nothing. They don't have hockey,

[00:11:04] no basketball. They let them win, but they do win a lot. And then my friend went to Auburn and my

[00:11:08] friend Vic and then I had to hear about all that. So the Tennessee volunteers beat Nick Saban in one

[00:11:16] of the most fantastic college football games I've ever seen. And I didn't even get to see all of

[00:11:20] it because I was on my way to Colorado Springs. It was the ugliest kick I've ever seen. I'm

[00:11:26] like, dude, I don't even know how you would do that. Like if I purposely tried to kick a

[00:11:30] football, the worst you could do it, but have it still fly. Amazing. So good for them. I'm still

[00:11:39] watching the baseball, but no cardinals. So Fred Bird's being hidden right now in shame, shame,

[00:11:44] shame, shame on all of them. Yeah, not happy about that. God bless Yachty and Albert,

[00:11:55] but they're on their way to retirement. They can go have fun and spend all their money.

[00:11:58] Um, Cher, where was Cher Cher? By the way, she tweeted out.

[00:12:06] It's so random. What is going on with my career? Yep. That's all she tweeted in everybody. The

[00:12:14] funniest shit was written back because she has funny followers and it was just then she tweeted

[00:12:20] out she had a toothache. It's all very personal if you should follow her if you're

[00:12:24] interested. She's funny too sometimes. Um, Cher just listed her Malibu property.

[00:12:31] Who's got 85 million?

[00:12:36] 85 million. The home is 13,200 square feet, seven bedrooms, Pacific Ocean views and a driveway

[00:12:42] lined with 40 palm trees. Wow. You know what I would spend my money on? Lighten those up at

[00:12:49] Christmas. Wouldn't that be fantastic? I wonder where Cher is going to go live instead of here.

[00:12:55] What do you do when you leave Malibu? You leave the ocean. Maybe I will Twitter.

[00:13:02] She tweeted me once by accident. She meant Kathy Griffin. I swear to God, she wrote Kathleen and

[00:13:07] I'm like, whoa, why is Cher what? What is your question? I will try to help you. It wasn't

[00:13:12] for me. It was for her. Yeah. Um, that and I saw Queen Stevie in Nashville and it was raining.

[00:13:21] A lot of us got rained on quite a bit, but then she came out and sang outside the rain.

[00:13:26] It was a perfect night. I mean, it eventually stopped, but shoo buddy, it rained hard for a while.

[00:13:34] And she's like, I'm thank you so much for coming. I didn't know if we'd have to move to

[00:13:38] the next city because of the rain, but we're here. She's so weird. Like, yeah, she can talk.

[00:13:47] She can talk a lot, but I'm never bored. It's always weird. She's weird. She said like a hippie

[00:13:54] person. Like I don't even know what she's talking about half the time she's talking,

[00:13:57] but I don't even care. I don't care. Oh, another queen announced she's going out on tour.

[00:14:05] Um, my, um, one of my favorites Anita Baker, but I can't get a cut out. I want to have to make one.

[00:14:15] Yeah. She's going to all kinds of cities. I'm going to try to go in Memphis.

[00:14:20] Yeah. Yeah. A city where I know people will be into it. More than other cities, let's say.

[00:14:28] Uh, update. Oh my God. Elizabeth Holmes. No.

[00:14:35] I'm only going to talk like this when I do Elizabeth. Uh, Elizabeth. Okay. So she's trying

[00:14:44] to get a new trial because one of the witnesses said that the prosecutors kind of pushed him

[00:14:49] to testify over the edge. Let's say I'll read it to you, but she showed up for this hearing

[00:14:57] and she's pregnant again. No. Yeah. I swear to God. And just from everything I've seen about

[00:15:03] this woman, I think she's doing it to get the opportunist. Yes. And then I think how bad

[00:15:08] is that you're having a kid just to stay another kid to stay out of jail? That's the

[00:15:12] only reason you exist on earth is so I didn't have to go to jail. I shouldn't say the only,

[00:15:17] I don't know the lady, but I've seen everything I've seen. I do. I feel it. Yeah. Well, anybody who

[00:15:22] changes their voice to this to sound like they're more important. She showed up in good

[00:15:28] spirit smiling and evidently pregnant Monday, which her attorneys attempted to convince a job

[00:15:34] that she needs a new fraud trial because she could be going to prison for 20 years.

[00:15:39] Yeah. Well, and then in some of these articles, they call her the fraudster.

[00:15:43] Stop with the stir because that makes it sound like you're on Halloween. You're a trickster.

[00:15:48] She's a thief. Fraudster. They use it with Anna all the time, too. I don't know. I'm not delvy.

[00:15:53] We have an update on the hot tone. So this guy, one of the witnesses, he says that he was

[00:16:04] pressured and all everything I've read and I went through it all at her. I'd so that you

[00:16:09] don't have to be bored by all of it, but most everybody's saying the judge ain't going to do it.

[00:16:14] But the judge needs to have this hearing so that she can't bring this bullshit back up again.

[00:16:19] And then if he didn't do it, then she probably would get a new trial. So

[00:16:23] yeah, I say, nay, nay, no new trial. This witness, you don't change your mind at the last minute.

[00:16:28] And so what if you were pressured? Then you shouldn't have done it.

[00:16:31] Tough shit. Did the prosecutors lie and cheat? Did they lie to you? That's different.

[00:16:36] There's no proof of that. There's not even a claim of that.

[00:16:39] Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry, Elizabeth, but everything I've read it says you're going to jail.

[00:16:51] He went over to her house and told her about all this too. Yeah. Which is then she raises all the

[00:16:58] alarm bells, but I don't know what they decided out of that hearing. There hasn't been an update.

[00:17:03] She's between five and seven months pregnant. She's out. She's not in jail right now.

[00:17:09] She's out pending all the sentencing. Yeah. She's doing something. Update.

[00:17:17] I have an update on Anna. Yeah. So a reporter was going over to interview her for a photo shoot

[00:17:27] and Anna said, oh, are you coming over? Well, could you bring me some Diet Coke,

[00:17:32] garbage bags, wanna and paper towels and could someone pick up lunch? Because she's on house arrest.

[00:17:38] So she's telling these reporters now, you know, if you're the reporter, you got to do it.

[00:17:43] Otherwise she's not going to do it. Then again, is that like she can run out to the bedig herself?

[00:17:49] Infamous German fraudster. Stop with that term. It's not a joke. Right. Trickster, Hoxter.

[00:17:57] Who served four years in prison, only be taken into ice custody after we,

[00:18:01] she's been on house arrest since she was set free on October 7th. Now I did see the outside of the

[00:18:07] East Village apartment. It's rough, but I still don't know where she got the money because I know

[00:18:12] my comedian friends, the younger ones that don't really have money and then none of them are in

[00:18:18] Manhattan. They're all out in Astoria and Brooklyn and Queen. There nobody's in the

[00:18:24] city that can't afford it. So I don't know where she got this money. I think she's bullshit and

[00:18:28] about the Netflix money saying she gave it all to lawyers and it was all gone before she left

[00:18:32] prison. I don't, I don't believe it. Her newest village apartment is a step up from the Orange

[00:18:36] County Detention Center where she spent the last 17 months after always overstaying her visa.

[00:18:41] But it's also a far cry from the luxury Manhattan hotels where she stayed,

[00:18:45] stealing an estimated $275,000 from hotels associates and financial institutions.

[00:18:52] Yeah. Cause she always just says, well, you know, the people gave me the money.

[00:18:56] Well, you know, you made massive charges and left hotels.

[00:19:00] You will get arrested for that ding dong. She lives on a fifth floor walk up.

[00:19:10] When I first met Louis a thousand years ago, he was in a fifth floor walk up

[00:19:16] and it was a crazy building in Manhattan. One time he was taking a nap on his couch

[00:19:21] and his window was open and there was a crazy guy above him in the apartment before.

[00:19:27] It's only funny because Louis didn't get hurt per se. The guy came down with a picture in

[00:19:34] a picture frame and threw it at Lou's head while he was taking a nap on a couch. He was

[00:19:39] a psychotic person. He kept saying, Lou's music was too loud. Lou didn't even have music on.

[00:19:43] Like I don't know where he was hearing it from or if it was even real.

[00:19:46] But I was there and I was like, I don't get in a cup of coffee or something. I just heard smack

[00:19:53] and I heard him go, Jesus Christ.

[00:19:56] On the couch and I'm like, do you have a picture frame on your head?

[00:20:01] What happened? Cause the guy was already gone. He ran down the fire escape,

[00:20:05] threw it in Lou's window at Lou on the, and it hit him in the back of the head.

[00:20:08] Like it is for it. Anyway, a fifth floor walk up does not sound fun.

[00:20:14] And it's currently being renovated. The den of drilling is in our apartment. It's super loud,

[00:20:22] which in their apartment contains a bed, two chairs, one small table, some artwork and not much more.

[00:20:31] It was the last, oh it was the last place, last minute place to go, found by her lawyer

[00:20:36] when Sorakin was given the news that she was being released. Okay. So this is just a starter

[00:20:40] thing. This one bedroom is listed at $4,250 a month for a fifth floor walk up. Yeah, but you

[00:20:50] know, York, these cities got to get it together because you're going to lose fun people because

[00:20:55] it's going to only be the rich people and then you're also going to lose your help.

[00:20:58] If that matters, maybe I could appeal to the selfish part.

[00:21:07] Would I go have a beer with Anna? No.

[00:21:10] No, I have no interest. I don't have an interest. I have no interest in people that I know

[00:21:16] are super good liars and like it. But what does the point of this conversation? 99%

[00:21:21] of it's probably not even real. No. Would I, I might watch her try to talk somebody out of money?

[00:21:30] That'd be interesting to me. I don't want anything to do with it. But if I could be

[00:21:33] like in the lobby at bar, bar lobby in the table next to them.

[00:21:40] Although Sorakin was paid $320,000 by Netflix for the rights to her story, which became the

[00:21:45] eminently nominated series inventing Anna, that went to pay her lawyers and restitution for her

[00:21:50] crimes. That money was gone before I left prison. Okay. Okay. Well then where'd you get

[00:21:54] for it? $4,250 and you need first and last month's rent and probably an extra deposit.

[00:21:59] Is she pregnant? I don't think she's pregnant. No. I think she probably is too selfish for a baby.

[00:22:06] Like what does it do for me? I mean, look at it. What does it do?

[00:22:12] Then she said this is a quote, New York is so expensive. It's crazy. It cost me like $160 to

[00:22:18] Uber back and forth to my parole in Brooklyn. Why are you Ubering? Get on the subway like a

[00:22:24] normal person. I'm allowed to take any trans motive transportation. She clarified,

[00:22:32] should I take the subway? And then she went, hmm, no. Oh, you're too good for that.

[00:22:41] She chose to live in New York City over any other place in the world. If I wanted to wear

[00:22:44] nice clothes and be on somebody's yacht, I could have done that. I could have done

[00:22:47] that last March. I still have access to Europe or the whole rest of the world.

[00:22:51] Wow. Instead, she chose to remain in United State tension fighting the charges stay in the

[00:22:56] United States. Me staying and trying to fix this, it shows so much about my character.

[00:23:00] I think it speaks louder than a thousand words.

[00:23:08] So they asked her, you know, she goes, it's not this is about her crimes.

[00:23:11] She goes, well, it's not like I had a split personality or anything.

[00:23:15] I never really had any crazy formula formative childhood experiences.

[00:23:19] I just always felt like, why not? Why should I just stay somewhere and be bored?

[00:23:25] You do have a personality issue if you're checking yourself in the rehab hiding from the law.

[00:23:30] She also insisted it was so gradual. You just show, just to show you how long and young

[00:23:36] and delusional I was, I feel like I needed to build a building in New York that would be an

[00:23:40] art foundation. We're going to have an awesome project. We're going to have different artists

[00:23:43] come and change the space every couple of months. But who's going to pay for it?

[00:23:47] That's the idea of the private club came to me to make the art thing possible.

[00:23:52] And the landlord was like, well, somebody else is buying the building. So I admit,

[00:23:55] I was under pressure and I thought, oh, if I don't pull off this, investors will be like,

[00:24:00] oh, this little girl, she's just full of shit and nobody will ever work with me again. Right?

[00:24:06] Anyway, I don't see myself as a con woman or fake heiress. I never told anybody how much

[00:24:12] money I had. Oh, bullshit. You said your father had a fortune. This is all documented.

[00:24:18] Then they just lie and say it didn't happen. She still has big dreams for her future includes

[00:24:26] an upcoming podcast. I mean, not all of my ideas are illegal. I don't have any.

[00:24:34] I have no ideas that are illegal. I've had so many offers from interesting people. My art's

[00:24:39] been so successful. She's trying to sell her artwork. Some of the drawings are pretty good.

[00:24:43] I gotta say it better than I could do. But yeah, I wouldn't buy it. This person is a crazy

[00:24:48] person that is going to find more victims. Hide your wallet, New York people. If someone comes

[00:24:54] up kind of speaking with the accent, I just try to do run away update. My guy, mattress Mac.

[00:25:02] If you follow this podcast, you know, mattress Mac. He's a guy who owns all the furniture

[00:25:06] stores in Houston and makes crazy gambling bet. Well, he has bet $10 million on the

[00:25:14] Astros to win the World Series. Now I like mattress Mac, but I don't like the Astros

[00:25:19] because they cheated and I don't feel like they were penalized enough for that. And I would

[00:25:22] really love to go to V because he's a little person. I mean, not a true little person like

[00:25:27] my friend, Brad. He's a small man. So I was written for him because he's tiny and he's

[00:25:31] to create. He just killed the ball. But you know, he had some device that he was community.

[00:25:37] Whatever. But if he wins this 10 million bucks, guess how much that bet pays? No,

[00:25:45] for him. What's the payout? $75 million. Yeah, but here's the thing he's this is this time around

[00:25:54] Mac and Ville's offering customers a chance to double down if they're with their double down,

[00:25:59] wait to double their purchase. If the Astros were to win those World Series, for example,

[00:26:03] if the, uh, if they win a customer that purchased $5,000 worth of furniture will receive

[00:26:09] 10,000 back. Yeah, if you're going to go buy shit, go buy it now anyway, who cares?

[00:26:16] Yeah, he said he doesn't have a gambling problem. He has a promotion problem. I agree with him.

[00:26:21] Us gamblers need to stick together. Update! You know, I'm obsessed with not liking Mark Zuckerberg.

[00:26:31] His metaverse is a flop. Fewer than half of the 500,000 users have signed up and many

[00:26:38] making just one visit after complaining it was lonely and avatars had no legs. Who cares?

[00:26:50] I mean, you're already in a fake world now you're mad that you don't have fake legs.

[00:26:53] I mean, I think they, I mean, I've seen it. It's terrible looking, but I wouldn't do it anyway.

[00:27:01] According to documents that were seen by the Wall Street Journal, the company planned to hit

[00:27:05] 5,000 users of its virtual reality platform Horizon Worlds by the end of 2022. The number at that time

[00:27:13] of writing is less than 200,000 still well below a revised goal of 280,000. So he just keeps going

[00:27:20] lower. The documents revealed that the majority of the 200,000 users don't come back after

[00:27:26] ending the system and with the complaints that I said, but hold on it gets better.

[00:27:31] They've also complained of avatars floating around with no legs that would should be fixed in the

[00:27:38] coming months. Less than 10% of the worlds in metaverse receive more than 50 visitors and the

[00:27:45] majority of these worlds receive zero visitors. So I didn't even know there were extra worlds

[00:27:51] and all that. It's supposed to be a community where users can access interactive experiences.

[00:27:59] Then the journal notes there are really any girls in the hot girl summer rooftop pool party

[00:28:05] and in murder village, there's often no one left to kill.

[00:28:13] It's completely ridiculous. Well also Mark, if you're going to have a thing called murder

[00:28:19] village that's probably not good to start with, but let's say you're going to do it

[00:28:23] once people start murdering people, you have to replace them with new people.

[00:28:28] What kind of in some cases, female users have complained of sexually aggressive behavior from

[00:28:35] male users. It's hashtag me too in the metaverse. Yep. Yep.

[00:28:45] They had a concert. They had a conference last week on Tuesday.

[00:28:52] Marky Mark said the avatars will soon be getting legs and demonstrated his own virtual pair

[00:28:57] of legs by jumping up and down. Dude, you're going way too far into nerd land. Like I have

[00:29:04] nerd friends that are cool there. I mean for nerds, you know, they do nerd things. Yeah. Well,

[00:29:11] my friend, Lorraine is very cool. Jackie Kations self admitted nerd. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

[00:29:16] I would have, but if you're going to go this far down nerd land, you have to make it

[00:29:20] spectacular because I'll tell you what the nerds are are good at critiquing because they'll

[00:29:25] put can probably make this shit on their own. Yeah. They'll recode it. Yep.

[00:29:30] Um, hold on. There was something else in here that made me laugh. In a recent interview,

[00:29:40] Zuckerberg said that over the next five years he wants people to think of Facebook as not

[00:29:43] a social media company but a metaverse company. Well, Mark, you know, if wishes were changes,

[00:29:49] we'd all live in roses. You're not going to get what you wish for just because you wish

[00:29:52] for it. You got to put legs on your people and provide more people for me to murder.

[00:29:58] Murder village. What's the matter with people?

[00:30:02] Um, this is one akin to a virtual environment where people can work and play for most of their 24

[00:30:07] hours without leaving their home. This is what he doesn't get. Some of us like people.

[00:30:11] A lot of us like people not all the time. I don't want to go physically work somewhere if I

[00:30:15] don't have to. But do you do not, he's the guy that wouldn't know what to do if he walked

[00:30:19] into my Lakebar. Like he would just look around and like, no, you got to talk to the old

[00:30:23] guys. That's what's hilarious about this bar and order pizza and shut up football is on.

[00:30:30] Uh, my God. It's just it's not, it's not working. The stock is dropping. We've talked about that before.

[00:30:39] I don't know what to tell him. He's in, he's in him. It's like my gambling. It goes and, you

[00:30:43] know, he get lucky for a while and then he get a low. He just got to get through it.

[00:30:47] Yeah. Huh? Cash out. He should cash out right now. Yeah.

[00:30:53] Cash out. Go do something different. Yeah. Piss more people off in Hawaii, Mark.

[00:31:02] Holy shit. They found it. This is fantastic. A 65 foot 1600 year old mosaic shows Trojan War soldiers

[00:31:14] carrying their swords with shields on their arms. You have to, we'll put it in the schnotes.

[00:31:20] You guys have to go look at this thing. This past Wednesday, Syrian archaeologists

[00:31:24] revealed an intact Roman era mosaic estimated to be 1600 years old. The mosaic uses beautiful

[00:31:30] colors and depicts warriors from several, uh, several from the Trojan War. The authorities

[00:31:37] in Syria have dubbed the archaeological discovery one of the rarest finds ever. It was on, it was

[00:31:43] on earth and what is known as Raston. I don't know. That's a city, I guess. And what is known

[00:31:49] as the horns district? Yeah. But if you go look at the pictures of this thing, previously the mosaic

[00:31:59] had not been discovered due to the Islamic State group which overran Palermo in 2015.

[00:32:06] Yeah, I don't really know. But you got to go look at it. It's amazing. Thing is,

[00:32:12] I just don't know what you do with it. Can you dig it all up one piece and put it in

[00:32:15] museum? They don't say any of that in here. Did you just put glass over it and let people come

[00:32:20] look at it? Yeah. Maybe. You got a slit. You got a rivet. We got a couple, holy shits, they found it.

[00:32:28] Holy shit! They f-. Snakey crocodile face. Prehistoric monsters. Prehistoric sea monster

[00:32:37] discovered. Snakey crocodile face. Did you make this up? No! No, it's from a smart publication too.

[00:32:47] Yeah. Not the globin man. No, some I do bad ones, I know. Somebody yelled up now.

[00:32:55] A new prehistoric sea creature whose name translates to snakey crocodile face.

[00:33:01] Recently discovered- was recently discovered by researchers in eastern Wyoming.

[00:33:07] Yep. Remains were discovered by a group led by the College of Charleston. I know where

[00:33:14] that's at. I'm on the little tour if you take the thing and don't tell. Snakey. The mysterious sea

[00:33:21] creature belongs to the Plesiosaur's group, which I think that's what the Loch Ness Monster is.

[00:33:26] It is. Plesiosaur. Was described by this guy as a beast that swam the seas while dinosaurs

[00:33:33] walked the earth 70 million years ago. When I was a student he said, I was taught that

[00:33:37] all late evolving Plesiosaur's fall into one of two anatomical categories. Either those with

[00:33:44] really long necks and tiny heads, Loch Ness Monster. And those with short necks and really long jaws.

[00:33:50] Well our new animal today totally confounds those categories. How exciting for the

[00:33:57] you know these archaeological nerds. The people. The people. I've not heard it.

[00:34:01] Self-admitted nerdness. Person said the creature's neck was perfectly preserved when

[00:34:05] the fossils were discovered in eastern Wyoming, which he said was due to the fossil sinking to

[00:34:09] the seafloor where it was buried by sediments for nearly 70 million years until recently found by

[00:34:15] the group. The neck vertebrae just kept going. For comparison your own neck has a mere seven.

[00:34:22] This guy has 32. Wow. There you go. Go look at that. It's a freaky looking thing.

[00:34:32] Yeah. I don't know that I'd really want to be alive back then.

[00:34:36] Especially because I'm near sighted like I would walk out of the cave and I would just be immediately

[00:34:40] stopped on by T-Rex's foot. I wouldn't even see it coming. I'm like oh I couldn't make out what that

[00:34:44] was. Holy shit! They found it. Village found that was preserved by Mount Vesuvius eruption

[00:34:50] 2000 years before Pompeii. A Bronze Age village preserved when Vesuvius erupted 2000 years

[00:34:58] ago before Pompeii has been discovered. Afragola, that was what they named it, was

[00:35:07] uncovered during the construction of a high-speed rail near Naples and archaeologists have said

[00:35:12] it offers a rare glimpse into the Bronze Age in the Campania region. Like Pompeii,

[00:35:19] Afragola was encased in meters of ash mud and silt which would preserve the site so well that

[00:35:24] researchers could even tell the season in which the disaster occurred. Footprints of fleeing

[00:35:32] adults and children were also well preserved. Oh wow. Covering an area of 5000 square meters,

[00:35:40] a village is one of the most extensively investigated sites of the early Bronze Age in

[00:35:43] Italy. The site is exceptional because Afragola was buried by a gigantic eruption of Vesuvius

[00:35:48] and it tells us a lot about the people who live there and the local habitat. In this case,

[00:35:53] they're finding fruits and agricultural materials we will try to identify

[00:35:58] the season of the eruption. Wow. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yep. See? Why don't anybody tell me I

[00:36:03] could do this in school? So many things. So many things. You got a lot of time.

[00:36:09] Moving on to news. Can we talk about the children? I don't know what's going on in England.

[00:36:19] Yes. The British children? The British children. The children. They're super young. They look

[00:36:24] like zoomers. They're not even millennials. They're way behind them. They're protesting oil.

[00:36:34] They're mad about oil. They appear in court after throwing soup at a van Gogh painting.

[00:36:40] First of all, the irony is he painted with oil. That's not the oil they mean.

[00:36:48] I have questions about this. Yes. The climate activists who threw soup over Vincent van Gogh's

[00:36:54] famous sunflowers. Everybody's seen that painting appeared in a London court on charges of criminal

[00:37:01] damages. Now, I will say this first. There was glass in front of the actual painting.

[00:37:06] So they didn't fuck that up. But the frame, which I'm sure is worth probably half a million

[00:37:10] dollars because those things come on. It's a van Gogh. How did you get soup in your room?

[00:37:15] Well, this is my question. These kids have done this before. So if I see anybody under 40

[00:37:21] walking in and I find soup on you, no, no, you're not coming in here with a can of Campbell's soup.

[00:37:27] What the fuck are you doing with soup in an art museum? The name. Hey, I don't they have security

[00:37:33] at these places. The two women were protesting as part of a campaign group just stop oil.

[00:37:40] And they pleaded not guilty. They glued themselves to the wall after they did it.

[00:37:44] Oh, you're guilty. We have photo. You made yourself get photographed. This is why I don't

[00:37:50] understand the children. If you want to get away with it, actually, I didn't do it.

[00:38:00] Glued themselves to a wall and they have shirts on that say just stop oil after dumping two cans

[00:38:06] of tomato soup. I don't know. After throwing two cans of oil, the protesters glued themselves

[00:38:15] to the gallery wall. They were moved by specialists and taken into custody according

[00:38:19] London Metropolitan Police spokesman for the National Gallery said there's no damage to the

[00:38:23] painting, which is one of the iconic versions of sunflowers at Van Gogh painted in late 1880s.

[00:38:29] It's an as an estimated value of $80 million. There's some minor damage to the frame,

[00:38:34] but the painting is unharmed. Just stop oil has been protesting in London in the past few

[00:38:39] weeks and the group said and press release that its actions were in response to the

[00:38:42] government's inaction on both the cost of living crisis and the climate crisis.

[00:38:48] Okay, I'm not saying you can't protest, but there's no reason to destroy nice things.

[00:38:54] That frame was beautiful. I'm not saying it's right. Maybe somebody can fix it.

[00:38:59] They said what is worth more art or life? Is it worth more than food?

[00:39:03] Worth more than just we don't need to make that comparison. No,

[00:39:07] no children. There's other ways of doing this. Glue yourself to each other and run

[00:39:12] around town like that. Are you more concerned about the protection of a painting than the

[00:39:19] protection of our people and planet? They've received widespread criticism from

[00:39:25] environmental groups and politicians from the opposition labor party following the protest.

[00:39:33] There's other ways to protest that a are more effective. Okay, so you got a story out.

[00:39:38] And I read it. Let's just say I'm a normal person in England.

[00:39:42] What the hell am I going to do about it? Right.

[00:39:44] Right. No politician is going to listen to this shit when you're 20 something,

[00:39:49] you have a t-shirt on, you've just gorilla glued yourself to a wall.

[00:39:53] No, they're not going to, no, there has to be a better way to get your message across. Just saying.

[00:40:00] Tom Brady. This is breaking news. I am going to drop Tom Brady.

[00:40:10] Really? Yep. I can't do it anymore. I can't afford to lose Tom. This is where we part ways.

[00:40:18] It's just else gone. Sad times.

[00:40:23] Tom Brady pricks himself up and he bought a pickleball team. Pickleball is all the rage.

[00:40:28] Now my brother's playing too. If rumors are true,

[00:40:34] he's getting divorced and he bought himself pickleballs turning pro.

[00:40:40] I saw a mother daughter team on some show and they're sponsored by like 100 people.

[00:40:45] Like they're making all kinds of shit tons of money. But you know what? Maybe Tom,

[00:40:50] my brother's the same age as Tom Brady and he's turned to pickleball to save his knees.

[00:40:54] Maybe Tom should. Hey Tom, why don't you be the captain? Right?

[00:41:00] Maybe you can play with Patrick. Oh, Patrick would love it.

[00:41:05] There's a 2023 major pickleball season. He's bought an expansion team.

[00:41:11] Yeah. Several athletes have done this.

[00:41:15] I don't know where they play. I don't have any idea.

[00:41:19] I only know my friend Mark in Detroit. His wife, Sarah is really, really into it.

[00:41:24] It doesn't say. This is a major league pickleball league. Major pickleball league.

[00:41:28] I don't know. Just saying that's what he's. Tom, maybe we focus on what we're doing and

[00:41:33] not how about we focus on winning and not buying pickleball teams? Not now. You do

[00:41:38] that when you're done. South Carolina special news for you.

[00:41:45] Well, I'm just saying he bought a pickleball team. I don't know anything more about it.

[00:41:48] Really? The article doesn't say anything. They just keep talking about Giselle leaving.

[00:41:53] All right. Rare wolves headed to South Carolina from Ohio is a fight to prevent extinction ramps

[00:42:01] up. You know what they're going to be getting a glimpse of in South Carolina?

[00:42:05] One of the world's rarest animal. Red wolves. They are so pretty. Now, I know they can get a lot

[00:42:15] of problems. I don't know. I think they feel like it's a good environment for them. South Carolina.

[00:42:25] That's warm. There's lots to eat, but there's lots to eat them too. An alligator just jumped

[00:42:30] right out of that pond. The plan is to breed red wolves in captivity at Brook Green for displays

[00:42:38] at zoos and then and for release in eastern North Carolina possibly and possibly in the low country

[00:42:43] of South Carolina. Well, yeah, I know people. There's only 300 red wolves left in the world

[00:42:49] today. Most are in captivity. The smaller gray wolves. There's a lot more of them, but by

[00:42:57] the early 1900s, red wolves have virtually been wiped out by hunters and farmers who saw them as

[00:43:02] threats. Well, they are today. They're federally protected endangered species. I know they'll kill

[00:43:08] people's chickens and all kinds of shit. It's probably not good if you're a farmer, but for

[00:43:12] a lady who doesn't farm, they're awesome to look at. But I also wouldn't want to meet one on a

[00:43:16] hiking trail. Not that I would. And how about those two boys in Wyoming this week? They're

[00:43:22] wrestler kids. They were just out for a hike, turned a corner. Grizzly! They lived. He used a

[00:43:30] wrestling tactic too. He grabbed the bear's ear and twisted it. Oh God! Well, you gotta save your

[00:43:37] life, paddles! Sorry, you shouldn't attack them. So South Carolina, you can look forward to that.

[00:43:44] Two of America's largest supermarkets are merging.

[00:43:51] Kroger and Albertsons. Well, the only Albertsons I used to go to, there was one in Hermosa Beach

[00:44:02] by my apartment. I didn't love it, but I did like it as a single person because they always had

[00:44:07] those whole chicken things. And it was like, it was only like seven bucks. I could eat that

[00:44:14] thing for three days. And it was already cooked. And as a single person and traveling, great!

[00:44:20] I would just go right up and go get your chicken. I don't know. Kroger I like. Some are better than

[00:44:30] others. I feel like that's probably the same with Albertsons. Probably whatever neighborhood

[00:44:34] you're in. It's a $25 billion deal that could change the U.S. retail industry and impact

[00:44:39] how many millions of customers buy their groceries. Because this is interesting.

[00:44:43] I didn't understand who owned what. Hold on. I'm going to tell you who owns what because I had no idea.

[00:45:00] Is it on the last page? I've just read it. God dang it. Come on.

[00:45:04] Okay. No. Kroger operates Ralph's. That's in LA. Harris Teeter. I see those on the road. They're

[00:45:14] fancy. Harris Teeter. They're very nice. Dillon's? I don't know that. Fred Meyer, that's up north

[00:45:24] like Wisconsin and stuff, right? Montana. Albertsons owns Safeway and Vaughns. Now the Vaughns

[00:45:31] in Hermosa Beach when I lived out there back in the day was one of the most beautiful stores I've

[00:45:35] ever seen in my life. Safeway, I always get the feeling we're in a discount area, right?

[00:45:40] No, they can be nice. They can? Okay. I don't know. So there you go. Now you know where you're

[00:45:47] shopping. I don't see why not. Let them merge. Who cares? Unless they're going to start price

[00:45:53] fixing but there's too many other people out there still. It's not really a monopoly.

[00:45:58] Let's talk about what really matters. Which drive-thrus are the fastest and slowest?

[00:46:05] Would you like to guess? What's the slowest? I don't think they counted Steak and Shake,

[00:46:16] but yeah actually we're going to do Steak and Shake is terrible. It's worth it.

[00:46:22] It's just better to go in and I hate that they're closing because I really do like their

[00:46:27] hamburgers and their chilies delicious. Steak and Shake, chili and their fries

[00:46:31] are good too because they're skinny fries. They did the top 10. The slowest? Chick-fil-A.

[00:46:40] I know because the one by my house it looks like Disneyland. There's children outside with

[00:46:46] iPads and the headphones and the, I mean but it's slow. They did it. They did the seconds.

[00:46:55] That fast or slowest by how many? How many are?

[00:46:59] Well I'm going to start with the fastest. Which I would have guessed this one. Super fast.

[00:47:04] Guess. No not even close. Taco Bell, you're going to spend an average of 221 seconds.

[00:47:20] I've never sat in a slow Taco Bell line. Number two. I can honestly say I've never

[00:47:26] driven through this. I do not think of it as fast food. Dunkin' Donuts. I don't think of it

[00:47:31] as food. It's coffee. I know they have donuts but that's not food. Number three the fastest KFC.

[00:47:41] Not the one by my house. No. There's a zoomer in there with an attitude and he will just tell you

[00:47:47] exactly. I'm sorry your order wasn't ordered properly. If you could move your car over to

[00:47:52] the right, I'll deal with you when I'm finished. Oh sorry. Number four. One of my favorites.

[00:47:58] Arby's. Delicious. There's a fourth fastest. Fifth fastest. Burger King. Sixth. Hardies. Hardies are

[00:48:05] hard to find. St. Louis had a lot but then when I went on the road as a comic I would...

[00:48:12] Hardies in Canada? Huh. Number seventh fastest. Wendy's. Always like Wendy's.

[00:48:19] Number eight. Carl's Jr. Never had Carl's Jr. I have had Carl's Jr. They're out west, California.

[00:48:28] Yeah. Their hamburgers are really good. I don't think I ever ate anything else.

[00:48:33] Now the ninth fastest we're getting to the end here. McDonald's. The only thing slower than

[00:48:38] McDonald's is Chick-fil-A. But I think people get the Starbucks. I think people get the

[00:48:45] illusion that Chick-fil-A is fast because they have a lot of lanes. So you feel like oh well come on

[00:48:50] there's five lanes. Average number of cars in the drive through. Chick-fil-A. Five. McDonald's. Three.

[00:48:58] Wendy's. Two. Arby's. Two. Burger King. Two. Taco Bell. Two. Dung and Donuts. Two. KFC. One.

[00:49:04] Hardies Jr. One. Carl's... I mean Hardies. And then Carl's Jr. One.

[00:49:10] How many did you click? This podcast brings you the work of the Lord and things you should know

[00:49:15] if you're out there and you need something fast. Accuracy? Arby's. Mainly because we're all just

[00:49:22] wearing a roast beef. I can't... You can't brag. I'm not eating E-R-Bs. They've gone a little bit

[00:49:29] off the rails over there. The real best roast beef one in the whole country is in St. Louis

[00:49:34] called Lion's Choice also known to locals as Lao Chow. But that isn't everywhere.

[00:49:40] Accuracy McDonald's is pretty accurate. Second. Burger King third. Carl's Jr. Fourth. Hardies fifth.

[00:49:46] Taco Bell... Taco Bell is not accurate. Might think they are. Then Chick-fil-A, then KFC.

[00:49:53] Dunk and Donuts. Ninth. And Wendy's. They're not as accurate.

[00:49:57] Well, it is infuriating when you've waited all that

[00:50:02] long time and then you just go... Speaking of money and lines. Disneyland...

[00:50:11] I'm not into it. But I know adults that are... Not adults just with kids, just adults.

[00:50:18] They plan their vacations. It's expensive. The tickets have gone up to $244 per day.

[00:50:28] $250. Fastpass hits an extra $25. Valet Rockets...

[00:50:35] I don't know what that... I don't know. It says Valet Rockets to $65

[00:50:38] and preferred parking surges to $50 as stocks plummet 40% in a year.

[00:50:47] Yeah, they rose an average of 8%. A one-day ticket now ranges from $104 to $179 depending

[00:50:53] on the day with the one-day $65 park hopper ticket add-on making it the most expensive ticket,

[00:51:01] $244. So we went once... I think I've talked about it all the time, kids. It was ridiculous. It was

[00:51:08] terrible. And there are seven of them. Kids. So there's nine of us. When I was a kid, yeah.

[00:51:14] We drove down in a station wagon. My parents' chain smoked the whole way and one of us rolled

[00:51:17] down the windows because they were letting the air conditioning out. The way, way back looked like

[00:51:23] Studio 54. There was smoke everywhere. And then my dad proceeded to tell us how Walt Disney hated

[00:51:31] children and was anti-Semitic the entire way down and he was friends with Hitler or whatever.

[00:51:36] And I'm like, Dad, you're kind of taking the fun out of this when you're telling us all these

[00:51:40] things. Well, you should know the facts before... But it was my younger sister had to see

[00:51:49] whose castle? Cinderella? Cinderella Snow White? I don't know. I've told this story. I'm not going

[00:51:54] to go into it. But... And I was so sunburned, I had to wear a coat because I had blisters.

[00:52:02] Yeah. And I just read that if you've had one blistering sunburn, your chances of

[00:52:06] melanoma double. One, I've had like 100. I should be dead then. They let me run around in Florida,

[00:52:14] on a beach, in the ocean, in the pool. I just... I was so overstimulated. I just couldn't. I was

[00:52:18] like, I got goggles and finding seashells that I'm like, I need to get the pool. What the

[00:52:22] closest pool? I'm running around. Crazy person. No sunbuck ever. And then I had a sleep sitting

[00:52:29] up because I had so many blisters and my mom just kept going. And she was a nurse so I believed

[00:52:33] her and she's like, if you pop those blisters they scar. So you need to sleep sitting up.

[00:52:37] I'm like, what? And then all night I'm like, I can't move. I've got blisters all over me.

[00:52:46] Anyway, so if you had seven kids, I know that's a lot to have these days but let's even say you

[00:52:52] had four kids. The average price and what I can see here is about 200 times four. We're at $800.

[00:53:02] We haven't paid for mom and dad. I mean I guess if you just say it's a once in a lifetime

[00:53:09] deal but normal people, I don't know how much the passes are for the whole summer or stuff.

[00:53:16] Disneyland is always trying to planning the next new idea, attraction and stories.

[00:53:21] Disneyland said in an official statement, I love that there's a woman named Abigail Disney.

[00:53:25] She's like the granddaughter of Walt Disney and all she does is ever, she just goes on

[00:53:31] and says what greedy pigs they are and she clearly I don't think is invited to

[00:53:35] Thanksgiving anymore. No, I don't think so. Our tiered ticketing structure offers guests

[00:53:41] different options to experience the magic throughout the year including our lowest price

[00:53:44] point. Yeah but you're also at the back of the seven hour line. Right back in the day they had

[00:53:50] the E tickets, A's were shitty, E was the good ride, the E ticket but you only got so many of

[00:53:55] those then you just hope that one of your siblings had a fear of motion. Yeah I'm like

[00:54:02] this whole ride is gonna make you vomit give me your ticket I'll do it for you.

[00:54:10] I just don't know, is any but termites are any of you going? Who can afford all this?

[00:54:14] Dad you haven't even bought a beer? Well they don't have beer. Epcot Center's got beer.

[00:54:18] No I used to have a joke about that. One time I took one my nephew's to Disneyland,

[00:54:25] not Disney World, the one in California which if you've ever gone to Disney World

[00:54:30] I would not suggest you go to Disneyland you're gonna be highly disappointed.

[00:54:34] Start at Disneyland and then go to Disney World because Disney World's got a lot more room they

[00:54:39] have more space they can do it's just way way way better. But I asked somebody where to get a beer

[00:54:46] and the lady goes well you can go back to the Hilton hotel really I'm gonna take these little kids

[00:54:51] and go sad news for you is Aunt Cat needs a beer we're going off campus to a Hilton bar like

[00:54:57] I'm like oh is it is it Wednesday divorce day night this would be so exciting for an eight-year-old

[00:55:07] yeah I think she said California Adventure might have had beer I don't know Epcot

[00:55:15] Epcot is so American because you can go to the quote countries and I'm like this is a perfect

[00:55:21] example of America nobody really wants to go to the country no like I do no like let's go to

[00:55:27] the real Germany I mean I'll take a fake one mini Canada's fun yeah putine oh my god so the Mickey

[00:55:36] Mouse ears how much do you think they are it doesn't say if they're monogram 40 no 39.99 well it said

[00:55:53] they increased by more than a third from 2021 from 29.99 to 39.99 so now I gotta gotta get all

[00:56:00] these little rat bastards ears too what's four times 40 160 bucks and I haven't even monogrammed them

[00:56:08] let's call that $200 so now we are I said eight to we're a thousand dollars in still haven't paid

[00:56:13] for my dad and nobody's drinking shit and you're not eating anything you're gonna starve

[00:56:20] I'm not giving you sunblock oh my god I don't know what what is Territe's Disneyland announced

[00:56:32] the price of genie plus will also increase from 2020 dollars what's genie plus I know I'm the one

[00:56:39] running this show I should have looked it up oh they replaced the pet the fast pass program oh it's

[00:56:47] a lightning lane oh you get to bypass traditional lanes for select attraction and rides it depends

[00:56:54] on the day of purchase in the day of visiting and one time I took other nephews to Disneyland

[00:57:01] and I don't remember how many worlds there are for little kids like five and three were closed

[00:57:09] I'm like well then bullshit the price should reflect that you can't tell me these kids get

[00:57:15] one time they're going to be out here in California and they get to see this shit

[00:57:20] I don't know genie plus recommends things for you based on your genie plus recommends

[00:57:25] based on my interest it would just all be bars somewhere out in Anaheim

[00:57:33] oh my god

[00:57:35] preferred parking has jumped it's now 50 from 45 hotel valet 60 from 50 to 65

[00:57:44] they're not having free perks anymore including shuttle buses from the airport to its parks

[00:57:48] that's stupid really dumb yeah because people who don't know how to travel well and corporate

[00:57:55] parties they're going to say we want the bus and it's for people staying at hotels

[00:58:03] sparking anger young rest comes week after the company's brass who still says brass the brass

[00:58:09] explained that some recent ticket price increases were offset by unfavorable attendance mix at Disneyland

[00:58:18] I think they're saying the same thing magic mountain is saying but without saying it magic

[00:58:25] yeah um who wants to pay

[00:58:31] you don't know what if I told you I found a pair of Levi jeans in an in an abandoned mine

[00:58:38] they're from 1880 do you want them sure I mean they'd be really distressed

[00:58:45] they're super distressed I mean you'd be the coolest person at the bar

[00:58:48] somewhere in LA pair of Levi's jeans sold for more than $75,000

[00:58:54] yep don't worry inflation hasn't gotten that bad that's a really really old pair of jeans

[00:58:58] hails from the 19th century jeans were put up for bid at an auction in New Mexico two vintage

[00:59:03] clothing collectors teamed up to put down the cash in order to bring this piece of history back

[00:59:06] to California with the 15 percent buyers premium the duo zip Stevenson and Kyle Hoppert

[00:59:13] put a combined 87,400 bucks

[00:59:18] yeah well they're collectors it should be in a museum I agree yeah the deal was captured

[00:59:27] buh-bah the pants were found years ago by a denim historian Michael Harris and an abandoned

[00:59:32] mine shaft or were they really right or did somebody you there's my mom would say that

[00:59:39] my jeans look like they were found in an abandoned mine shaft as every single time I see my mom

[00:59:44] did you pay for those holes to be in those jeans yes mom I did well I don't understand any of that

[00:59:50] that's just a waste of your goddamn money but there's a little piece of Levi's history that

[00:59:59] they might want to forget you ready for this one of the faded pockets on the pants bears

[01:00:06] the phrase the only kind made by white labor leave yeah here listen to this I had no idea

[01:00:16] Levi Strauss and company is a company with the long and most proud heritage across our history we

[01:00:20] strive to do good and beyond our business and to be a positive force for equality and racial

[01:00:24] justice but there have been times when we have fallen short in economic crisis in the United

[01:00:31] States in the 1870s led to high unemployment and fueled anti-Chinese sentiment and rampant

[01:00:36] discrimination well I mean what do you want they built the whole railroad thank you in 1882 when

[01:00:46] congress passed a Chinese exclusion act there was significant social pressure not to hire

[01:00:51] Chinese worker and Levi Strauss adopted an anti-Chinese labor policy the Chinese exclusion

[01:00:56] act was the first instance in US history that immigrants were prevented from entering the

[01:01:02] United States solely based on race and class according to prior reporting by npr the law

[01:01:07] established a 10-year ban on Chinese laborers further restrictions on the immigration of Chinese

[01:01:12] laborers continued well into the 20th century during this time Levi declares in ads on his products

[01:01:18] that the products were made by quote white labor the thinking would this would improve sales and

[01:01:23] align with customers viewpoints at the time the company later reversed its policies in the

[01:01:26] 1890s oh it only took a decade we are wholly committed to using our platform and our

[01:01:31] voice to advocate for real equality and to fight racism in all forms it persists today

[01:01:35] huh yeah who knew I didn't even know we did that see we're doing the work all over here but

[01:01:43] we're learning stuff oh by the way they're um they're a 38 waist if you wanted to wear them

[01:01:52] I'm like what size are they are they for can people who wear my size six can I no

[01:01:59] they're definitely a dude I think a dude's um um what do I got left here oh this I was gonna

[01:02:07] do if I can read this because this one has the sizes I thought it was funny um now that I had two

[01:02:14] articles on this wasting paper those children over those children hate me yeah I know they were

[01:02:24] listed as good wearable condition on the auction house website but with a waist of 38 inches and a

[01:02:30] length of 32 you know yep mm they may not successfully fit every denim lover on wearing such authentic

[01:02:40] vintage jeans the jeans are some of them huh yeah my brother's patrick's measurements are the same

[01:02:49] it's like 31 31 he's sponge my square pants but he actually his measurements are so odd and then you

[01:02:57] can never find him he actually found a pair somewhere at an outlet mall that someone had him to his

[01:03:01] size and he bought those somebody hemmed him but returned them and Pat's like you're never gonna

[01:03:06] believe what I found he called down and he was going to a friend's wedding somewhere in New

[01:03:10] Orleans and you had to call the tuxedo deal and um he gave the lady the girl his measurements

[01:03:16] and she's like yeah that can't be possible why don't you have your wife call back oh smack

[01:03:23] it is he's like look it's no that's my actual size and then when he went down there she's like

[01:03:28] you must be the guy I mean he looks normally just as short legs he's like five nine or something

[01:03:37] mine five ten I don't know how dolly is I have no idea um let me see how I'm doing on time oh my god

[01:03:44] okay for Jerry Falwell's pool boy wrote the book

[01:03:51] no here's the thing I did not get a chance to read the whole story and I'm going to

[01:03:56] so I'm gonna save this for next week but just know that Gian Gian Carlo

[01:04:01] he would have sex with Jerry's wife and then Jerry would watch

[01:04:10] I don't know what people are doing but if you're Jerry Falwell

[01:04:17] there it's not the work of the Lord because you guys are married and you're evangelicals

[01:04:21] you're supposed to have sex with each other that is definitely written down somewhere

[01:04:25] I'm gonna read this one a little more in depth though this week on the plane

[01:04:31] the book I know I kind of can't wait to see um this this is 100%

[01:04:37] I couldn't agree with William Shatner more yeah never been said out of your mind

[01:04:43] no I never really think about William Shatner a long long time ago there was a video being

[01:04:47] passed around where he did um a dramatic interpretation of the song rocket man

[01:04:54] I bet it's on YouTube but he's like and I think it's gonna be a long long time

[01:05:01] like he it was so funny um is it on YouTube okay it'll be in the shots anyway he went up

[01:05:11] in Jeff Bezos's blue rocket thing blue origin I do not understand I've never understood

[01:05:21] why anyone would go want to go into space I find it horrifyingly frightening

[01:05:25] and all we know is it's black out there it's just darkness and look how pretty everything is right

[01:05:30] now like I don't want to leave earth especially not voluntarily I mean I know eventually I've

[01:05:35] got to leave but here's what he wrote about going up there I had thought going into space would

[01:05:40] be the ultimate catharsis of that connection I've been looking for between all living things

[01:05:46] okay I would not have thought that I would have thought oh shit oh shit I'm leaving the

[01:05:50] planet terrifying that being that being that being up there would be the next but beautiful

[01:05:57] step to understanding the harmony of the universe the human mind isn't going to understand

[01:06:04] I mean when I win a parlay bet I feel that I feel the harmony of the universe

[01:06:08] only when I'm in a parlay especially if it's a five team parlay in the film contact

[01:06:14] but Jodi Fosser's character goes into space and looks out into the heaven she lets out an

[01:06:17] astonished whisper they should have sent a poet that's a pretty good line I had a different

[01:06:24] experience he said because I discovered that the beauty isn't out there it's down here with

[01:06:27] all of us leaving but leaving that behind made my connection to our tiny planet even more planet

[01:06:32] even more profound it was among the strongest feelings of grief I ever encountered oh my

[01:06:39] the contrast between the vicious coldness of space and the warm nurturing earth below me filled

[01:06:44] with overwhelming sadness that's exactly how I would have thought I would feel

[01:06:49] and scared and what if we don't get back some don't it's amazon he'll send you to the wrong

[01:07:00] house but you'll get back every day we're confronted with the knowledge of further

[01:07:05] destruction of earth uh at our behalf and the extinction of animals of flora and flana

[01:07:15] or florn and flana things that took billions of years to evolve and suddenly we will never see them

[01:07:19] again because of the interference of mankind it filled me with dread my trip was supposed

[01:07:24] to be a celebration instead it was like a funeral that's exactly why I wouldn't have gone in

[01:07:29] the first place sorry you had to find out like that oh you gotta do walk outside at night time

[01:07:34] it's scary shit you don't know what's out there it's one of the funniest things I've ever watched

[01:07:43] it's in this note and then I well okay um next week we're gonna talk about

[01:07:53] two more things I'm gonna save these two for next week I'm gonna I've got two good two good

[01:07:56] ones left what do you think the worst year to ever be alive was well 2020 was fine you gotta think back

[01:08:13] I did not need toilet paper I had plenty according to historians the worst year to be alive

[01:08:21] ever was 536 AD right after the past few years many of us have said this is the worst time to be alive

[01:08:31] yeah but people don't even know it's like well I don't want to have children right now because the

[01:08:34] world in such bad shape what do you think the pioneer women were saying you know kids no you

[01:08:40] have a dead squirrel on your head and we're living in a wagon I'm not having children I mean

[01:08:44] history all right we what we can do now is we can control our environment mostly normal people

[01:08:53] you can have heat air conditioning the pioneers couldn't do that couldn't we don't we're not

[01:08:59] coming to a country where there's already indigenous people that were that may kill us

[01:09:04] because maybe we shouldn't be here um there's no one chasing us I mean now it's just like

[01:09:10] sissified like I don't I'm glad I'm here now but anyway they said the worst time to be alive was year

[01:09:17] 563 it was the beginning of the war and the worst periods to be alive if not the worst says McCormick

[01:09:23] it was 536 AD and one day people woke up to a weird fog outside the sun barely visible

[01:09:30] and the temperature had significantly dropped from the previous day okay that would be scary

[01:09:35] that'd be very scary it was a pretty drastic change and it happened overnight McCormick said the

[01:09:40] ancient witnesses really were on to something they were not being hysterical or imagining the end of

[01:09:45] the world as crazy as the situation above seems that year happened that happened in the year 536

[01:09:51] darkness fell over most of the world that lasted 18 months as well as a drop in the

[01:09:57] temperature between 34.7 and 36 Fahrenheit so it got super cold a natural disaster had led to crop

[01:10:07] failure drought famine and millions died however fit 536 was only beginning of the problem that would

[01:10:13] come in 541 the Justinian plague began a bread failure and Europe fell into economic collapse

[01:10:21] until 640 oh my god that's 60 years researchers have discovered that a volcanic eruption started the

[01:10:30] problems in 536 shortly after two other eruptions followed one in 540 so finally when they got it

[01:10:37] cleared up then another one came and the other one of 547 scientists in the 90s were studying

[01:10:43] tree rings which led to the conclusion that year 540 was colder than usual they researched

[01:10:49] years before 540 to see if there was a specific cause they found clues and polar ice cores from

[01:10:54] Greenland and Antarctica when a volcano erupts it spews sulfur bismuth and other substances high

[01:11:00] into the atmosphere where they form aerosol an aerosol veil that reflects the sunlight

[01:11:06] into space cooling the planet a team led by Michael Siegel began matching the ice record

[01:11:15] and the chemicals with the tree rings in the climate it led to the discovery that a

[01:11:18] massive volcano eruption proceeded every cold summer for the past 2500 years the conclusion

[01:11:23] led to an enormous eruption in late 535 early 536 and another in 540 causing cold and

[01:11:31] darkness conditions for years to follow well that would be scary as shit and you don't know if

[01:11:38] it's ever coming back and you're you know you're running around like cave people kind of I mean

[01:11:44] there yeah be a good time to start smoking

[01:11:51] all right we're gonna we have a feel-good story we're gonna close on a feel-good story

[01:11:57] I'm getting ready to go to Grand Rapids and Detroit Detroit two shows I think they're both

[01:12:04] sold out I don't know but anyway I love I always have a great time I always a few seats left

[01:12:10] in both I have a job I always have a great time and Grand Rapids is fun good beer Detroit

[01:12:16] I have so many friends I can't wait Harry at the cat who went missing in California was found nine

[01:12:24] years later in Idaho yep it's a feel-good story a cat that disappeared nine years ago in California

[01:12:31] was finding out found in Idaho thanks to a microchip and a couple of good Samaritans

[01:12:36] my quote feral cats have chips

[01:12:42] they're outdoor cats they said baby cat uh the cat a short-haired tabby colored domestic house

[01:12:47] cat named Harriet previously lived in California ranch with her owner and then when she disappeared

[01:12:53] nearly a decade ago on September 19th a couple found her on the side of the road about a

[01:12:57] thousand miles from away from her previous home it took her to a shelter the cat was

[01:13:02] dropped off at the Kootenai Humane Society in Hayden Idaho about 90 miles south of the Canadian border

[01:13:08] Kootenai good job Harriet had a microchip making it easier to track down her shocked previous owner

[01:13:16] we're always excited to find a chip that's why when I took these crazy cats in and the

[01:13:21] lady's like do you want to get a feline aides shot and i'm like what cats get aides

[01:13:28] the question just kept getting harder and I was like I'll take the premium package whatever

[01:13:34] everything that you have give it to them I didn't know they could yeah whatever not really up on that

[01:13:40] but um so wait so the um the lady that worked at the place she was at the front desk she called

[01:13:48] the owner that was listed on the chip and started talking to her and the lady was pretty much

[01:13:52] speechless because she didn't realize her cat was still alive Nelson said everyone was shocked

[01:13:55] Harriet had turned out she's really cute too so far away from home Susan Moore her former owner

[01:14:01] lives on 41 acres outside of Sanger California in 2010 the family had dogs so they decided to get a cat

[01:14:08] as well that's when Harriet came into her life she was just a kitten then but the shelter told her

[01:14:12] she was very sick they thought she had feline leukemia and suggested she choose another cat

[01:14:17] she said no I don't want another cat she took care of Harriet giving her medicine twice a day

[01:14:22] and raising her for the first month of her life when she was healthy enough she moved to the family

[01:14:27] who was ranch spending a lot of time outdoors with the dogs she lived there until one night in 2013

[01:14:31] when she disappeared then on September night she got a call from Idaho we have your cat she has numerous

[01:14:38] cats when they told her they had Harriet she thought it was impossible my son was eight years old

[01:14:42] when she went missing he's now 17 wow she also outlived the family's dogs oh more the

[01:14:51] lady thinks that Harriet may have sneaked into a horse trailer about the time of her disappearance

[01:14:55] and had been picked up by someone when she got out her husband also considered the possibility

[01:14:59] that she fell prey to a coyote I think about that too because my neighbors saw three of them together

[01:15:06] yeah I don't like that I don't want three together she searched everywhere including a new

[01:15:11] nearby shelter I was very distraught Moore said I just had a very hard time believing she got

[01:15:15] caught by a coyote because she was very smart there'd been a rise in people relocating from

[01:15:20] California I don't know she suspects someone found Harriet when she was out roaming around in

[01:15:23] California and didn't check for a chip from there they likely moved to Idaho bringing Harriet with them

[01:15:29] she said the chips and we know about the chips um and then it goes into check um I wish Harriet

[01:15:36] could talk to us and tell us where she's been for the night the last nine years but

[01:15:39] unfortunately she can't for her past nine years are a mystery that's nice she's alive coyote

[01:15:46] didn't get her yep and you get your cat back yeah badass cat it's gotta be getting kind of hold too

[01:15:56] all right termites so many things what are you doing in grand rapids what am I doing in grand

[01:16:01] rapids I do not have any plans well I'm gonna go inspect our rapids well because I never thought

[01:16:09] about it grand rapids why are there no rapids well they took the rapids out yeah of the river

[01:16:17] but they're gonna rebuild the rapids last time I was there they said there you have a project

[01:16:22] I don't want to see if they've done it I'm 100 serious I can't wait to see that um I'm gonna go

[01:16:30] find a good local beer nice yeah I don't really have any more plans than that okay yeah I've

[01:16:36] got work things to do because the special I gotta go through all that and pull out clips and all that

[01:16:42] hard things not hard but time consuming um and then Detroit I'm gonna see my friend Mary from the

[01:16:49] comedy castle and my friend Mark Ridley and all my friends um from the I used to work at that club

[01:16:55] for like I don't know 20 years and now I'm over at the fancy theater um and then I'll go um

[01:17:04] have drinks with my friends and then you're in maybe go to toast this restaurant I like for breakfast

[01:17:12] yeah it's very crowded on Saturdays oh I don't know what that oh and then after that Dayton in Indian

[01:17:20] apolis Indianapolis Dayton too I think you both we are selling in an inordinate amount of tickets

[01:17:27] um and I moved on to some way bigger venue in Indy but there's still tickets left because

[01:17:32] these places are enormous so yeah they're both good weekends no problems easy peasy then what am I doing

[01:17:39] I don't know oh I'm gonna go to the Buffalo Bills game in Buffalo um with my friend Dory and if

[01:17:49] anybody would like to invite me to a tailgate once again I'm open for that I have cash money

[01:17:56] if you want to charge me for a hot dog or beer no problem

[01:17:59] I can Venmo I just learned how and I can do that whatever suits your fancy um yeah I've

[01:18:07] always wanted to be I really enjoy Buffalo but I've always wanted to see a Bills game like in person

[01:18:13] and I do have tickets to see Tommy Salami later but I may give him up no

[01:18:20] I can't watch my idol throw balls into the dirt what is going on look I know she was super hot

[01:18:27] but you gotta move on there's other hot people there's other hot people you're Tom Brady

[01:18:33] I'm totally I've totally down you know downgrading all that but I think it was my friend Bob I've said

[01:18:42] to himself about funny about Tom and she's like he goes it's hard being beautiful

[01:18:49] it is look how many problems they're having and they they got kids together and then that

[01:18:54] other one from the other lady and make Tom a queen no Tom doesn't deserve anything now he needs to

[01:19:02] put his head down go to practice and stop saying I'm not coming on Wednesday oh you fucking need to

[01:19:06] come on Wednesday I gave you a pass in the beginning because your greatness but clearly the

[01:19:10] greatness is slid screaming at your teammates and they're like 24 he's like 45 I like you could

[01:19:17] be my dad like yelling at them and then after he yells at him they're all like we've signed this

[01:19:23] like everybody just wants his autograph dude you know he can't even be taken seriously like that

[01:19:29] but anyway oh I was gonna say too um watching I forgot um I watched aftershock on Netflix it's

[01:19:41] about the Mount Everest earthquake it's not hard it's fascinating when the earthquake hit in 2000

[01:19:49] whatever it was 15 and then base camp got all those people got quaked and a bunch died but

[01:19:56] then they show you Catmandu and this is how dumb Midwest I can be I thought Catmandu was kind of

[01:20:02] like Hong Kong I did because of the Bob Bob Seeger song Bob Seeger is from Detroit and told all

[01:20:09] of us Midwest people I've gotta give me the Catmandu that's everything all I want to do

[01:20:15] what's up with the Hong Kong well because Catmandu is nothing like Hong Kong I thought it was

[01:20:21] like this futuristic Hong Kong is like futuristic crazy ginormous city Catmandu is kind of old

[01:20:28] school and then when the earthquake hit none of those buildings were ready for that I didn't even

[01:20:33] understand and then there's a story about the Lang Tang Valley and then and then there's one guy

[01:20:41] in the show I'm not even talking about the there's other people in the show that did bad things and

[01:20:46] they shouldn't have done that but um there's one guy he was such an asshole he's like

[01:20:54] he kept after the earthquake they were already up at camp one they had made it up past base camp

[01:20:59] he's like I paid good money to come here and I want to climb it sir yeah you're gonna well I

[01:21:06] have insurance and we're all supposed to feel bad about being privileged hey hey crazy boy nobody

[01:21:13] brought up anything like that you brought that up and I don't feel bad about being privileged and I

[01:21:18] have the right to he was just whoo he was still insisting that after the earthquake they keep

[01:21:25] going and then there were aftershocks they didn't even know if they could get back down over the

[01:21:29] the kum something falls the big the big one that's famous because everything had been

[01:21:34] disjointed yeah I mean it was just it's a great show there's only it's like a good treadmill deal

[01:21:39] I think there's like um three or four episodes it's a really good treadmill because you don't really

[01:21:44] have to totally focus right you know I don't understand the cat man do bob seager told us

[01:21:54] that cat man do was a cool place well because I pictured cat man do like Hong Kong or Singapore

[01:22:03] well I think it's it is about me but I also think if you asked other Midwest people that were 18 years

[01:22:08] old riding around in our shitty cars and said hey you want to go to cat man do it we're like yeah

[01:22:13] but then you I don't know I see it it's dangerous the buildings are not really stable

[01:22:21] that's why because but bob made it sound like that's the last thing you got to do before you die

[01:22:26] get me that's how we were educated listen to bob seager and do what he says okay listen to stevie

[01:22:40] next and do what she says okay um I'm gonna find out what that song was I gotta get me to get me to

[01:22:47] get out of here I'll find it I'll find it all right termites

[01:23:01] happy fall it's so pretty out right now it's popping everywhere Missouri Tennessee the east

[01:23:07] pop first I was up one up St. New York they got it first but now we're all getting it and

[01:23:11] it is spectacular it's also freezing bizarrely it's 39 degrees it can be 77 on sunday

[01:23:19] no everything's fine everything's fine all right termites that's it ready