Parched Madness 2025

[00:00:02] What you want, when you want it, where you want it. This is The MESH. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to episode 107, volume 6 of the third most downloaded podcast in all of Northwest Hickory.

[00:00:30] Just behind in the two spot, Buying and Selling Horses by Mark H. And in the number one spot, I Sell Signs by CJ H. Ladies and gentlemen, we are Big Fan. Hello, my name is Chad Easton. I'm a big fan of the finally ending the month of February, which is my worst month of the year. We'll talk about it later, Hank.

[00:00:56] Short Oscar speeches and spring break and March Madness right around the corner. I'm a fan of all those things, Chad. I'm Hank Imer, and I'm a fan of those things. Sir. I do. Hey, so tell me a little bit why we hate February so much. I mean, it's the shortest month. Yeah. So this is what happens. Is this like historically you hate February or just this year? Typically, I've never really thought about it much, but I really started thinking about it last week. February is the end of football season. That's kind of depressing, right?

[00:01:24] Like because we've counted on football for four months, keeps our weekends fun. You know, it keeps our Thursday nights fun. Without football, February is just a little dreary. It's also very cold in February. As you know, I like warmth. I like sun. If our audience could see the jacket you just came in. I mean, this thing is like, you know what that thing looks like? It was very cold this morning. Okay. It's a jacket. How would you describe it? It is inches thick. Okay.

[00:01:52] How I would describe it is when you walked in, you're like the little brother off of Chris's story coming in. Randy. Yeah, Randy. I keep him off now. But the other thing that's so good about it is it is like snow white, right? And you walked in, collar popped, glasses on. Mind you, you had to walk 50 feet of stair or a hallway to get here. And you still had your glasses on. You had the collars popped. You had two or three buttons done. I would have expected more than just short sleeve shirt underneath there.

[00:02:22] But, to be honest, I bet you underneath that jacket, it is about a billion kelvins. It was about a billion kelvins because it's cold outside, Hank. So, this guy's got to stay warm getting back to February. February's cold, Hank. Okay. So, you know, I have this rule. I can't play, do any competitive sports if the temperature is less than 40. And this month, it didn't get above 40 much. You know what I'm saying? So, I had to stay kind of, it's just kind of a dreary month for me. March brings the sunshine.

[00:02:51] March brings the spring. And. Brings the madness. It brings the madness as well. So, anyway, February, just not my favorite month. I got you. Makes sense. It makes sense. Plus, Valentine's Day's in there. You know how we feel about Valentine's Day. I know. You know? I know. Not our favorite holiday. Yeah. I think there might be a President's Day in there, though. So, not bad. Martin Luther King Day might be in there, too. But besides that, you know what I'm saying. I get you. Overall, my least favorite month. Okay. Least favorite month. Yes. And what about those two podcasts in front of us?

[00:03:19] Buying and Selling Horses by Mark H. Have you listened to this one yet? No, I have not. Unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. At least eight downloads. And, of course, number one, I Sell Science by CJH. I'm climbing up the podcast charts. Yeah. Believe me. I'm around that gentleman enough that I hear all about these. These emergencies. Rear, rear, rear. So, anyway, Hank, what we got going on today, buddy? So, how you been? I've been good. Yep. So, starting in March.

[00:03:45] I know in our near future, we have a spring break for our kids. We'll talk about if you're doing anything. And then following that is our March Madness trip that, you know, you do with your high school buddies. I do with mine. So, we're just two weeks away, literally. Yep. From March Madness and our trips. Yep. Spring break. Next week for the kids. They go to school and then they have the next week off. What are you doing? So, it's not this next week. No, it's the following. It's the following week. Yes.

[00:04:09] So, Harris actually got dual rostered for J.B. and Barsi. Congratulations, Harris. And they play in their Easter tournament, which is during that spring break, the first couple of days. So, we're going to be here. I'm sure we're going to run around, do something, maybe go to the mountains or something. But we couldn't really – we didn't plan anything because we didn't know if he was going to be part of that team or what. So, we just kind of had to kind of take it easy. How about you?

[00:04:38] We are going doing our annual Kiowa trip with Livia and Lucy Rose. Olivia gets back from school this – tomorrow, actually. Hey. And so, her last exam was today. Just got to brag on her a little bit. I don't feel like a brag on Olivia enough on this podcast. But 4-0 again last semester. The Dean's List present. She's just doing really well. She's excelling at her academic career. Is that considered bragging when it hits every time? I mean, she just hits. I know. That's just it.

[00:05:08] Yeah. I'm so proud of her. Hey, I'm proud of her. But I knew it was coming. Knew it was coming. Fair, fair. She works hard for us. She does work hard. Very hard. She does work hard. So, her last exam is today. She'll be back in town tomorrow. I said, Olivia, whatever restaurant in town you want to go to, right, wherever, where do you think she wants to go? I don't know. I don't know, but I'm sure you're inviting your dad to see if he'll pay for the bill. I didn't think about that, but I shall. Yes, I shall. So, typically, Olivia really loves Asian food. Okay. So, we'll either hit the- Wild walk?

[00:05:38] That's normally top on our list, but we might even hit a little cow, not cowfish. What's it called? Kawasaki. Yep. Kawasaki or something like that. So, we'll see how that goes. But she'll be here, and then we go to Kiowa the next week, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Just your family? Just us. Yep. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Come home Sunday. We rent the bikes. When you rent bikes when you go on trips, do you get the helmets? Do you rent the helmet? You know what I'm saying? I do not rent helmets. You have your own helmet? No, I don't. Okay.

[00:06:07] I mean, like, we're beach cruiser? Beach cruiser, yes. Yeah, I mean, no. Are we taking it out in severe traffic? We're just going to cruise on the beach. Okay. And, you know, maybe on the pathways through Kiowa. What's hard enough on the beach for you to hit your head? I booked the stuff. She said, how many helmets do you need? I said, no helmets. She was like, you mean to tell me you're renting bikes without helmets? This is the lady selling the bikes, renting the bikes to us. She said, I really insist that you would order helmets and wear them.

[00:06:34] I was like, ma'am, I've ordered bikes from y'all for the last six years. I've never ordered a helmet. So anyway, I'm helmetless. I did not go through with the helmets. I just want to make sure I was doing the right thing. Yeah. She's saying that you're putting people in harm's way, like your kids, in jeopardy. I guess, but we're riding the... And I'm sure there's some liability for them that they want to make sure that they get everybody safe as possible. You know? And they don't know what kind of, I mean, what kind of cyclist you are. Very, very true. Not a very good cyclist. Yeah.

[00:07:01] Have you ever heard the story of a buddy of ours? His name is Jason. Okay. And so he moved here from High Point. And when I was a high school kid, probably sophomore year, went with John Wade down to Kiowa for spring break. With Jason Earls, this is who I'm talking about. He and John Wade used to be really good friends in elementary school. So we met up with him in Kiowa for spring break. We're on bikes at nighttime. It's what high school, like 15-year-old kids do. Oh, yeah. You ride your bike all over the place.

[00:07:31] Well, Jason was, I think he was in front of us a ways. And boom, he thought he hit a... It was pitch black on the sidewalk. He thought he ran over a log, right? And so we stopped our brakes because he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I hit something. There was an alligator on the sidewalk that he kind of like, his bike hit and he kept going. I guess it was a little one, but it scurried off before we got up to him. And he was like, y'all, I think I ran over a log, blah, blah. So we put, there's nothing there. And you could kind of see the alligator go off into the distance. We didn't know the size of it, but that's pretty scary.

[00:08:01] I've never heard that story. Pretty scary. Alligators are everywhere there, right? So I'll have to be careful. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. You should wear helmets. That's where I was going with his story. You should wear helmets. Wear a helmet at all times. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So we are doing that for spring break. And then, you know, again, following that is our annual March Madness. March Madness. So we talked about this briefly with our, all of our listeners know all about this trip. We've been talking about it for the last 10 years, at least yours is a little bit different this year. You're going to Folly. Yeah.

[00:08:30] And you guys go to the same spot every time. Every year. Cherry Grove. Yeah. You guys go to Cherry Grove. We've mixed it up because we've gone to Cherry Grove before we've gone to the mountains before and now we're going to Folly. And why, who chose the Folly trip or location? Um, usually we go to somebody's house, right? And so in the mountains, we were at a buddy's house and we've done it twice in the mountains, two different friends' houses. And then we have a buddy who has a house in Folly. His in-laws have a house in Folly. And so we just said, Hey, let's get back to going down there.

[00:08:59] And, um, you know, we, we, we've had some choice words that have been said already because some of the guys are like, Hey, why don't we think about having a chef come in and prepare dinner? And you know, half of the room is like, that sounds amazing. The other half is like, why are we just not having steaks? What are we doing? Who are we? We need a chef. Who are your, who are your fancy friends on this text chain? Hilarious. Oh, it's so good.

[00:09:28] So I guess what we're going to have, we're going to have steaks and crispy crowns and we're going to have a good time and our fancy friends can go eat somewhere else. Love it. So do y'all play golf on this trip or is it just basketball and hanging out and all that? We'll go eat. We'll play basketball. We'll probably go to a bar. Like, you know, we, I know you guys do. Um, but we usually don't play. We usually don't play it. Someone tried to implement. So we're going down with my high school buddies and my brother's class. They have a house too that, oh my gosh, I think they're very near us, Hank.

[00:09:58] And it's not a good sign. That's dangerous. We try to stay very far away and only see each other for maybe one afternoon. But anyway, they're walking distance. So one of the wise guys over at the class of 94's house said, why don't we do some type of Olympics? You know, like cornhole. And then he stopped at cornhole. He could not have. He could think of anything else. Any other thing to do? Because I was like, are you thinking about maybe? I feel pretty good that I can, I can guess who this gentleman is. We're going to know. You know exactly who it is.

[00:10:26] So he stopped at cornhole and he just sat there with a blank stare and he's like waiting for me to finish. And I was like, Hey, sir, what we used to do. Cause we did the Olympics back in the day. It was with football. Then we go play flag football on the beach. And you know, but you have a 40, a 40 yard dash. We had 40 yard dash and all these things. And so he just looked at me. He said, well, let's just call the Olympics off. Cause we're not going to do any of that stuff. And I was like, smart. You were too old for these Olympics. Didn't somebody like come up with a hamstring injury because they lost. They said it was a hamstring injury. It was more of a calf.

[00:10:55] A calf injury. We have the video to prove it. I've seen the video. I've seen the video. Everybody in Hickory seen the video. Should we? No, we'll just leave his name. He'll be anonymous for now, but he knows who he is. He knows who he lost to. Exactly. Which is embarrassing. Very embarrassing. Maybe the slowest dude in all of Hickory. For sure. For sure. Right. Beat this individual. Yes. Okay. Yep. Yeah. It was a shocking dollar. But yes, we're going to Folly. Okay. We'll probably go to Taco Boy, you know, have some good food.

[00:11:24] And, um, but there's not a ton of us going either. Oh really? No, because, um, there are a couple of conflicts. And so I think there's like eight of us. Usually it's like 12 to 15. And so, uh, yeah, there's a little bit of conflict. Okay, good. Well, I'm sure it'll be a great time. And right around this time too, Hank, early March, the flowers come out, the sunshine's brighter, all that good stuff. And also tennis season starts, Hank. And so tennis season this year, unfortunately we're not on the same team.

[00:11:52] I'm, I'm ranked as a 4-0 and I think you're a little bit lower. So, unfortunately we can't compete on the same team this year. I'm sorry. But, you know, you keep working, buddy. Maybe one day. Maybe one day. Well, our season starts tonight. So we travel. We're going to meet in the little caravan. We're going to cruise up the mountain to Boone to put, take on our good old team, Deer Valley. Deer Valley. Who seems to whip our tail every time we play. Oh yeah. But not tonight. Tonight's not the night.

[00:12:20] Well, I was just talking to you a little bit about it and you were explaining the team dynamic. And people that don't, you don't know tennis, you know, you have to put a lineup together. And so you'll play, one guy will play singles and then you'll have three double squads. Well, you have to do it strategically because you want to win. You have to win at least three of those to win. And I saw that you were at one seed on doubles. Like you're playing in the one line. Yeah, the best line. Which obviously your captain is throwing that line and putting stronger people in the other two. That's what you're saying. We're the sacrificial lambs.

[00:12:50] Is that what you're saying? I'm not saying it. That's what your coach said. Your coach put you on the chopping block. We shall see. I'm in the number one position as I normally am, Hank. So let's go home. Let's go up there. Let's get a victory for good old LHC. Well, you're playing with Drew. So, I mean, you got a lot of help. Got a lot of help. He's fantastic. Yeah, you got a lot of help. So it should be a good match. I'll keep you posted on how we progress. We played our first match last night. Oh. Yeah. I didn't get to play. You didn't make the cut. Hickory had a game. Oh, okay. And so I wasn't going to do it. Gotcha.

[00:13:19] But we lost. We did win one match. Okay. It was because their line forfeited. But we're in the hunt. We lost three of the matches, three of those other four matches by a third set. Ty Brink. You're kidding. Okay. So you're competitive. We're competitive. Good. Good. Well, that'll be fun. It's always, Tennessee season is always fun because we're always working to get to states. And, you know, this year it's going to be doable. It's going to be doable. I think it's going to happen. It's going to happen. Okay.

[00:13:47] So speaking of states, Gene Hackman passed away. He did. Yes. And still, it's kind of weird. Have you heard about all the stuff that they don't really know how he died because his wife died too and their dog? Yeah. Really weird. They're saying carbon monoxide, right? They thought that, but they ruled it out. Okay. Now, when they found her, half of her body was mummified. You know what mummified? I mean, like, you know how mummies deteriorate? When you look across the table, do you see an idiot?

[00:14:16] When you ask what mummified is, come on. Give me some credit over here. Fair enough. Fair enough. So they do live, they were in New Mexico. And so it's very dry, arid kind of climate. Yeah. And they're thinking that they might have been dead for about nine to ten days. Sucked all the moisture out of her. Exactly. And they had like one dog dead and then two were not, right? Because they said the one dog was in a crate. And when they passed away. Oh, it couldn't fend for itself. Isn't that terrible? It's a really sad story. I wonder.

[00:14:46] I was wondering how long they were there because, you know, the dogs, you know, at some point, dogs would have to start eating people. Were they? Oh, I don't know. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like to find food, they would have to start doing something. And I wondered if that had happened. There are three dogs in the house. Two of them, the door was open. So they could go out and go get water, find food. Oh, okay. When the other one was in the crate, he ain't going nowhere. Yeah. So he died. And the other two were there when they found the body. He couldn't communicate to the other dogs. I was thinking like. And be like, dude. Dude, please, look at me in here. I need a little bit of help. Come on.

[00:15:16] At least give me a Coke or something. I'm thirsty in here. Bring me something. But anyway, so I guess some facts will come out. We'll find out what happens soon. But it inspired me to watch the movie Hoosiers again. Oh, yeah. I watched it last Sunday. Man, I'm telling you that might be one of the most inspirational movies of all time. If that movie doesn't get you just motivated to want to do whatever you do to your best ability, then I don't know what movie could do it to you. Right. So good.

[00:15:45] Gene Hackman, just a legend. He is, man. Absolute legend. And I'll go back just a tad. I mentioned the Oscars. I don't like watching the Oscars. I don't like a lot of those actors and actresses. You don't like them as people? I mean, they just seem some of like Adrian Brody, let's say. He won for Best Male Actor in a movie called, shit, I can't remember what it's called, but it's a four-hour-long movie, blah, blah, blah. I'm never going to watch it.

[00:16:14] So he gets up and they start playing the music, you know, to kind of show, hey, you need to get off stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't hear too long. Well, he proceeds to say, listen, stop the music. This ain't my first rodeo. I've already won one of these. I know exactly what I'm doing. I'll let you know when it's time to finish. Come on, dude. Come on, dude. So not only did he say that, he had the longest Oscar speech of all time, right? And it made zero sense. He was just babbling.

[00:16:43] He just wanted to hear himself talk. Like many people say that I do when I'm on this microphone at Big Fan. Yeah, you like to hear yourself talk. I hear all the time it should be more me than you. Absolutely. I can't get a word in edgewise. But anyway, Oscars, again, not my favorite award show by any means because I think many of them, not all of them, are just so pretentious. They think they're, they act like they're so much better. Yeah, and you know, the thing is too, is I think they get really upset.

[00:17:11] Like I think the music industry and athletes, like the ESPYs and stuff, they don't get upset when the host kind of gets on them, you know, really. The pretentious actor gets so bent out of shape. Very sensitive. Gets so bent out of shape. They can't believe anybody would say anything that would, you know, put them in a bad light. Whatever. Oscars suck. So I'm just thinking, was there any, when we talked about the movies, any interest? Oh, I do want to see the Bob Dylan.

[00:17:40] I haven't seen the Bob Dylan. Yeah, I haven't seen Bob Dylan. And actually, Timothee Chalamet, Olivia thinks he's a jerk. I don't think he's that bad. Did you see his girlfriend? She's the Kardashian. Yes. Yes. God bless you, Timothy. God bless you, Timothy. God bless you. God bless you, Timothy. God bless you. He got in the news too because his speech, not, I don't think it was at the, this one. It was something he won some award and he got up there and he was saying, listen, I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

[00:18:09] I want to be the best. I want to be the best. I like that. I do too. That's awesome. I do too. You know, he's not, he's just being honest. Yeah. That other Adrian Brody dude didn't have anything to say. He was just rambling to see if, how long he could stay on the damn stage anyway. Yeah. So I mentioned, you know, last May, Camden, our movie critic joined our podcast. And so he would like to do it again. So we've got Camden to look forward to.

[00:18:37] He's going to tell us all about the summer blockbusters. You know, we're still two months away, but just get ready. He'll bring a lot of energy. You know how Camden does. Oh yeah. A lot of energy. So really excited to have Camden back here to tell us all the summer blockbuster movies that we have to see. And Hank, we're going to make this a kind of a quick podcast today because your son is playing today. He is. Yes. And where are y'all playing? Maiden. Maiden. And does Maiden have a squad? I think that they'll be competitive.

[00:19:06] You know, it's really early in the year. So I know that they've won two and lost one maybe. And I'm thinking, I don't really know who they played. So it'll be interesting. And you know, I'm trying to kind of gauge how good Hickory is too. I think, I mean, I think that they've, they're, they can be good. They've shown that Hickory has shown that they can. The thing in the past has always been offense. Can we score enough runs? And the first two games, they scored a bunch. So if they can do that, they're going to be pretty good.

[00:19:32] What a great compliment to Harris to be selected dual roster. That is awesome. Yeah. So that means varsity and JV play up, play down. So he's going to get more opportunity to play than maybe anybody on the team. Yeah. It's, it's really, I mean, a, it's an honor to be asked to play up there, but B, it's the best of both worlds because he's getting to play JV and then he'll come up and he'll have like, he, he's had success on JV so far and he's pitched really well and he's hit really well.

[00:20:01] And, um, I think the, the next thing is he's got into two games on the varsity. Um, and it's just kind of like finding his way, you know, I mean, waiting for his turn and if he gets his turn, taking advantage of that turn. And so I think it's a good life lesson, uh, life lesson and, you know, watching these guys that are, you know, really good athletes that are seniors that are, um, you know, kind of, uh, leading the way. So I, I know he's enjoying it. He's having a good time. Good. Well, good for him.

[00:20:30] Good luck to the Hickory high school, red tornadoes and all the sports this year. Lucy decided not to play soccer to be a little bit more focused on her dance. Right. And so she's dancing in a new studio, which we've discussed. And so their first showcase was last Sunday. So they've been working for six months. I've not seen one dance, you know, she's told me all about them, but Sunday was the day. So they unleashed all of them. Lucy Rose is in 11 dances. Now, does she dance around the house? Like, does she do these things around the house that you would see some of this stuff in the kitchen?

[00:21:00] I mean, she is always. Yeah, I'm sure. Always. Yeah. Like when she goes to the kitchen, she'll do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like this and move like that. So I see them, but I don't see them together. Together. So like I saw on Sunday. So we go to the, the showcase. It was in Lincoln, this, um, this cool little, uh, convention center or whatever. And so their studio is called starstruck. And so she left the one that was in Hickory, um, to maybe be with a more variety of girls. Right. Is this out of Charlotte?

[00:21:30] Yeah. So a lot of Charlotte, uh, people feed to this one and it's like in between Lincolnton and Huntersville. And so we get up there and so our studio at the old place, like here's probably 40 people tops. Well, this place has got like 80 or 90 girls. Right. And different levels. And Lucy Rose, uh, is one of, there's most of them are seniors and juniors. There's some sophomores and a couple of freshmen that, uh, on her, uh, group. Hank, I'm telling you, it was like when they came on, it was like watching. This is no bull.

[00:21:59] Like one of those real dance shows like, um, so you think you could dance kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. At that type of level. I mean, I just kept looking at Jennifer like, are you kidding me? This is unbelievable. They were so incredible. So that was the showcase just to show the parents what they've been working on for six months. And so the first competition is this weekend. They get ready to get into it. They get ready to go. So we go South Carolina, South Carolina, South Carolina. There goes Asheville.

[00:22:25] And then we go into Charlotte and then the nationals is in Panama city, Florida. Is this every week, like week after week? Or is there a couple in a row? Then you get a little break and then there's a couple like off and on. But anyway, after seeing these dances, these girls have busted their butts. I mean, it's unbelievable. So talented. So good luck. Good luck to them. Good luck to them. For sure. Absolutely. So anyway, one of the big hits from last year, Hank, right around March Madness time was called Starch Madness.

[00:22:54] You remember this vividly, right? You were the star of Starch Madness. I know Starch Madness. Your selection of scalloped potatoes when they made their run. You know? I mean, how far did scalloped potatoes go? You went pretty far. I think they went to the finals. They were a team of destiny. Yes, they were. They shocked the world. Shocked the world. So many people have texted me and emailed and said, oh, Starch Madness was such a hit. Hank did such a good job ranking these potatoes. Do you think you could come up with another March Madness theme? And so I was like, you know what?

[00:23:24] I think I can. So what I've been working on the past probably 11 months, Hank. I thought you were going to say minutes. Well, that too. Really 11 minutes, but let's say 11 months. Okay. Instead of Starched Madness, we're going to go with Parched Madness. Parched? Parched Madness. Okay. So, Hank, I've got listed 16 non-alcoholic beverages. All right. That I have a kind of rank by what I think their popularity in the country may be.

[00:23:51] So I'm going to give you the matchups, and we're going to see what beverage Hank will take. Oh, and I won't know what else is down the line, right? Well, I mean, I can tell you. Well, I'll tell you the matchups. So you'll know. I'll know. Okay. Okay. So, Hank, let's go. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Parched Madness. Hank, I'm going to go down the list. Okay. And so I'm going to give you the number one seeds, and then I'll go, and I'll just give you the matchups.

[00:24:15] In the east bracket, Coke, number one overall seed against eight, number eight Sprite. Okay? Okay. Staying in that bracket, number two seed, Gatorade, any flavor. First, number seven, root beer. Number three. It's good. It's good. It's good. He likes this, though. It's good. Hank is all smiles in here, ladies and gentlemen. This is lovely. Number three, water. Okay? So water. Some people put water, number one, I hate the taste of water. I would rather drink.

[00:24:45] Water is such a dark horse in this race. I mean, I remember telling CJ, the guy who does the podcast, I Sell Signs, I remember telling him that I hate water, and he thought it was the craziest thing anyone has ever said in the history of mankind is, I hate water. It's not that I hate it. It has no taste. It doesn't. So I'd rather drink something that has taste, right? And no, I'm not talking about vodka, guys. I'm talking about flavored water, like Gatorade. Okay? Let's continue. No, you're a Powerade guy. Don't use it.

[00:25:15] No, I know I am Powerade. You're right. Busted. All right. Number six against water is going Dr. Pepper. Number four in the east bracket, Mountain Dew against the five seed, Sunkissed. Okay? That's the east bracket. Let's transfer over to the west bracket. Okay? Look at your brain just a whirling right now. I can see it. Number one in the west, Pepsi. The Banks family, Teeter family. Yep. They'll love that. Going up against the eight seed, Sundrop. Okay? In the west, number two.

[00:25:44] We're in the south, so we're in the south, but we're in the west bracket. Sweet Tea comes in the number two spot, matching up with Ginger Ale at the seven. Number three spot, let's stay in the sweet drinks, Lemonade. Going up against my dark horse, Fanta Cherry. Love Fanta Cherry. Love it. I've never even had Fanta Cherry. You know, when they make the cherry, suicide is a cherry. It's so good. And then going a little bit old school here, number four, Slice. Do you remember Slice?

[00:26:13] Of course I remember Slice. Going up against Snapple, any flavor. Okay, Hank. Here we go. Some of these match-ups are so good. So good. There's one I'm petrified of. I cannot wait to see these results. Okay, let's... All right, Mr. Imer. We're going to start in the east bracket. You just tell me who you've got winning. I got it. Coke versus Sprite. Oh, Coke all the way, man. Coke, dominant fashion. They are the monster juggernaut in this field. I'm with you. They are, you know, they're the easy favorite.

[00:26:42] Okay. Next match-up, Gatorade, any flavor against a surprising root beer at the seven seed. Yeah, Gatorade, any flavor. Yeah. Good call. That was, I think, pretty easy. In particular, any Gatorade flavor would be your favorite? My favorite. I like Fruit Punch. I like that. Fruit Punch was always my favorite. I started to... You're a blue guy. Well, I like the blue ones too, but I went to a citrus cooler. It's kind of that... Oh, I love citrus cooler. It's so good. It is good. I like citrus cooler. Okay, root beer. I'm sorry. It was a hell of a run.

[00:27:10] It came out of the MEAC, I think, the MEAC conference. Are these... Can I ask you a question? Yes. Are we consuming these at a Super Bowl party? I got to know where I'm going. Figure out the environment you're in as to the enjoyment level of the soft or the beverage. Let's just say... Yes, okay. Let's say we're at a tailgate and there's no alcoholic beverages. These are yours. This is... What are you going to go with? Okay. Okay.

[00:27:40] So, tough one here. Three versus six. We've got the water. Old school water versus Dr. Pepper. I'm going to go with water. Got to hydrate. Got to hydrate. Got to hydrate. So, water's got to be in there. Fair enough, Dr. Pepper. Good run. And the fourth, fifth matchup, Mountain Dew versus Sunkist. Mountain Dew's going to win that one. We went straight ticket on that. Yeah. You went all chalk. Yeah. We went all chalk. All chalk. I like Mountain Dew there. Okay.

[00:28:06] Let's move over to the west side where we're going with a strong Pepsi, slightly behind Coke in popularity. I don't think so. I know. Mr. Banks doesn't want to hear that, but Pepsi against Sundrop. One versus eight. Oh, Pepsi's winning that. Pepsi rolls on. All right. Maybe not in the south. You know what I mean? I know. Sundrop, that's a strong... Sundrop's a strong seed in the south. Did I ever tell you about the bindery worker that has worked at Deluxe for 30 years,

[00:28:35] used to drink a two liter of Sundrop a day. Two liter. Cut Sundrop out. He lost 30 pounds in one month. Yeah, that's crazy. Just from the Sundrop. Isn't that amazing? A lot of sugar in the Sundrops. Yep. All right. Sweet tea, number two, against number seven, ginger ale. That's going to be my upset, man. You're going ginger ale. Ginger ale. Just because sometimes you have bad tummy ache and ginger ale help make you feel bad. Is that why? I think at a tailgate, I don't want to pull out a pitcher and pour it in a glass and find a glass.

[00:29:05] I'm going ginger ale. I think ginger ale's delicious. Ginger ale is refreshing. Right? And it does make a tum-tum feel bad. You're so stupid. That's going to be my upset right there. Got it. I like it. All right. Ginger ale moves on. Let's go to the three seed, lemonade versus the six seed, my dark horse, Fanta cherry, which you say you've never even drank before? I've had it before. Unbelievable. Come on. I'm going to go lemonade. Oh, you're killing me, Smalls. I'm going to go lemonade. Lemonade. Okay. Go lemonade.

[00:29:34] I like to get a pitcher and a glass. You just said you didn't like that. I can see you at the tailgate with a pitcher of lemonade. Come on, guys. Come on over. Come on over. All right. Fourth, fifth seed, Westside. Snapple, any flavor versus Slice. I'm going Slice. Do you remember what Slice tasted like? It's kind of like lemon-lime, wasn't it? Kind of, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go Slice. I like Slice. Let's do it. Okay. Moving back to the East Bracket to get to the final four, Hank. We've got Coke versus Gatorade. Coke.

[00:30:04] Let's go Coke. And then we have Water versus Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew's taking it. Mountain Dew's busting up Water? It's busting up Water. Good job. Good job. Buy Water. Never liked you anyway. Westside. Pepsi versus Ginger Ale. Pepsi's going to win that one. Pepsi goes. And lemonade versus Slice. Two lemonade drinks. Slice. Let's go Slice. What a run they're making. Just advancing right through the Sweet 16 all the way to the Elite Eight. Now down to the final four. From the East, we've got Coke versus Mountain Dew.

[00:30:34] Oh, my God. Two juggernauts. Look how nervous you are right now. What are you going to decide here? It's Coke. It's Coke. It's going to be Coke. And will it be? Oh. Oh, look at this. On the Westside in the final four matchup, a hungry Slice team advances to the final against the permanent power, Pepsi. What shall it be, Hank? They've grinded to get here.

[00:31:03] But you've got to go with the legacy and tradition. Pepsi's going to be up on top there. We've got the two blue bloods. Yes. This is Duke, Carolina. Kentucky, Kansas. Bingo. This is who it is. This is what you dream about. These guys, you know, they've made their mark years and years and years as the most popular teams, the most coveted beverages, if you will, in the beverage game. Hank, championship day is here, Hank.

[00:31:31] We're going Coke versus Pepsi. Yeah. Who's going to cut the nets down this year? Well, like you said, they're both blue blood teams. But I think, to be completely honest, when you started bringing this up, this parched madness, which is a lovely game. It's a lovely game. I thought Coke would come in cocky. Really? Yeah. Overconfident. Overconfident. Right? I felt they'd come in overconfident.

[00:31:58] I think Pepsi's going to win the hearts of America. Unbelievable. I think Coke's coming in cocky, going to three quarters after the end of third quarter, be down and won't be able to fight back. Are you telling me the taste of the Carolinas is going to bring this home? All the way home. Wow. Ladies and gentlemen, you've heard it here first. The winner of the first annual Parched Madness 2025 edition goes to Pepsi. Hey! You know what, sir?

[00:32:27] You probably just won yourself a lifetime supply of Pepsi products. Yay. If you added beer and alcoholic drinks, none of those would be in the top 32. We're going to do that for next year. We're saving that one for next year. It wouldn't be in the top 32. Absolutely. Wouldn't even sniff it. Wouldn't even sniff the top 60 points. You'd have Zima on there before any of those drinks. So good. Bartles and James and maybe some Boone's Farm. Love it. Hey, well done. I mean, you are a master at these games. We should start playing more games in here.

[00:32:56] I mean, that's really what you excel at. The typical conversation part, not so good. Hey, come on. Not so good at the games. You know what the funny thing is? People are asking for more of this, right? They're asking for more of this. The thing that they're asking for less of is alien sightings. I've had three people want to cut the alien sightings out. They said, A, it's usually at 3 a.m. Could be wondering what's going on. And B, you're always with the same person.

[00:33:30] Condor sighting. Hawk sighting. All that stuff. What was C? What was C? You're an idiot. So let's just cut those down. People, we're losing listeners. Typically, I understand. And I was on the golf course, and this particular gentleman said something to me like, Hey, Chad, look in the woods. Is that Bigfoot? Or something like that. I'm like, what? He was like, let's cut out the weird stuff on the podcast. I'm like, you mind your own business. Get your own podcast.

[00:33:58] You can talk about what you want to on your own podcast, sir. That's right. That's right. Right? That's right. So anyway, I'll keep that in mind. Most of the alien observations, though, do take place in the spring to summer because I'm outside a lot. And so I'm always looking at the sky in those months or those seasons. Yeah. So let's be on the lookout for a couple more alien encounters. I'm sure you'll see one. Yes, I'm sure I will, too. Hank, gosh, good to see you, buddy. It's great to see you. Good luck to Hickory High today.

[00:34:26] Good luck to Lucy Rose dancing this weekend. And good luck to Olivia finishing up her exam this afternoon. Good luck. To our listeners, we'll check you out. Don't forget the big March Madness bracket unveiling for Hank and I will take place in two weeks. We're coming to you all in two weeks. That's on Wednesday. I think it's March the 20th. Yes. Yes. So we'll be here. So you guys- Because we'll be leaving the next day. Yes. We leave the next day to make our March Madness journey. So we'll talk about spring break. We'll talk about all that fun stuff.

[00:34:55] And we'll get everybody's bracket up to date so they can win the money. The money. The money. Okay. The money. All right, my friends. Until next time. Signing off. Peace. Peace.

[00:35:32] You've been listening to The Mesh, an online media network of shows and programs ranging from business to arts, sports to entertainment, music to community. All programs are available on the website as well as through iTunes and YouTube. Check us out online at themesh.tv. Discover other network shows and give us feedback on what you just heard.